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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 3 months

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Best and Worst of Both worlds (part 23)

Tw: Montgomery's really touchy n doesn know what is no

part 24

You were sent home. Because all you wanted to do was collapse on your bed and sleep the night away. The rain makes it extra cozy for you to cuddle under the blankets. Once your head hit the pillow, you were out like a light.

You woke up to your phone buzzing. But it isn't Yves this time. It's Evangeline.

You picked it up and brought it to your ear, giving her a groggy 'hello'?

"Wake up, damn it! You're going to miss class again, daddy's already waiting outside for you!" You let out a yelp as you heard loud honking from outside.

You whined as you got out of bed, throwing a mini tantrum by stomping out of your room. You wish that Yves was here, he would have woken you up on the right side of bed every day. Yves would have been gentle and stress-free, he would have stroked your hair and given you soft kisses as an alarm. There wouldn't be any loud noises or sudden surprises.

You grumbled as you got yourself ready for the day.

This time, you remembered to bring the premade meals Yves prepared in the fridge. Sharing yesterday's lunch with Evangeline while you ate the fresher one today. Mr. Jones fussed with you about wearing sunscreen, so now you're protected from the sun.

Yves only sent you a singular text this morning at 8:30am.

"Good morning, my dear. May you have a lovely day, (name)."

No reminders, no updates about what he did or saw, no requests to contact him. You brushed it off as him being busy, deciding to favour Evangeline's attention over his. You didn't even reply to his only message, thinking that Yves would mind too much about it.

"Mmm! This is delicious, Sir Yves is a really great cook!" Complimented Evangeline as she took another bite of the cold wrap. You're eating your own meal that has specific instructions to microwave it, luckily there are some that you could use in the student's lounge.

"Aww, he's such a sweet partner too. Look!" She showed you a message left by Yves, that was attached to the wrapper of yesterday's meal.

"Lunch for (full name)- Monday.

Meal: Turkey and Apricot Wrap. Do not heat. Eat as it is.

Ingredients: lactose-free cream cheese, apricot reserves, wheat tortillas, shredded turkey, spices, arugula. Contains gluten.

Remember to put on sunscreen. There is no need to be nervous as I know you will do well on your first day. I will be thinking of you always. Call me if you want to talk about your day, I will listen.

Love,

Yves"

You never realized that there was a whole paragraph plastered on its wrapping. So you decided to check your container for any similar texts. Sure enough, you found one.

"Lunch for (name)- Tuesday

Meal: Coq au vin. Microwave with lid partially open, 3-4 minutes. Be careful as the contents will be hot.

Ingredients: Chicken, pearl onions, garlic, spices, pinot noir red wine, button mushrooms, bacon, butter, tomato paste, flour, homemade beef stock, tagliatelle. Contains gluten and lactose.

Well done, my dear (name). You have reached your second day. I hope you find my cooking so far to be appetizing, your thoughts would be very much appreciated. As always, do not hesitate to contact me if you need me. I will always be there for you. Be careful not to burn your tongue.

Love,

Yves"

She gushed over today's note. "That's so cute! I can see why you're into older men now."

You lightly punched her on the shoulder and laughed along.

You and her were eating peacefully, now that you have exhausted all the conversation topics. Both of you ate in silence, enjoying the food from Yves.

But then, all of the sudden, a pair of hands clamped down onto your shoulders. Causing you to shriek and jump in your seat.

"Scared ya, didn't I?" You felt his stubble scraped against your skin that has been softened by the skincare routine Yves set for you.

Colour drain from Evangeline's and your faces.

You tried swatting him away, but he took a deep sniff of your hair, inhaling all your scent. You protested as he buries his nose into your head, Montgomery is really loud in his sniffing. "You smell so good..." He mumbled lazily as he held you from behind.

Evangeline stood up and pried him away from you, but only successfully to a certain extent.

"Fine, fine. I'll save the lovey-dovey stuff for later when you're easier to win over." He massaged your shoulders with his thumb. You frown because he doesn't seem to understand that his strength is too much, you think you will bruise.

"You are hurting (name)." Evangeline firmly told him off. To your shock though, he immediately lets go and stroke your hair in an unnaturally, tender way.

"Oh! I'm so sorry darlin'... You're so soft and sweet, I sure forgot I can be a damn brute sometimes." You looked up at him and there was a considerable amount of guilt being expressed on his face.

He ignored Evangeline and invited himself to your table, sitting on the chair adjacent to yours.

"Here, I got us lunch."

Montgomery sets down a paper bag that has an imposing fast food logo printed on it. The smell of piping hot french fries and meat patties wafted throughout the air. He began unpacking it, placing a thin, cardboard box containing a large burger in front of you. Even though you're clearly eating the well crafted meal Yves made.

"And I didn't forget about yer rich friend." He took out a much smaller sandwich, wrapped in wax paper. Albeit begrudgingly.

"It ain't like she's gonna appreciate it anyways..." He muttered under his breath.

"Thank you very much, Sir Montgomery." Although she was kind and friendly in her response, you sensed a bit of animosity radiating from her. Montgomery seems to pick it up faster than you and tenfold the intensity.

He shot her a dirty look before going back to showcasing what he bought.

"I got ya' your favourite soda in a jumbo cup." He carefully pulled out a huge plastic vessel containing an ice-cooled liquid, you can hear it noisily sloshing and fizzing. It looks intimidating to say the least; you definitely can't finish it even with the help of Evangeline.

"You gotta fuel your brain somehow through those soul killin' classes." He stuck his hand back into the bag.

"I got ya' a cookie, a cupcake, some fries aaand..." He rummaged through the bag and pulled out something so small, that it's entirely engulfed by his hand. "A nice, little gift for ya."

He smiled and presented to you in a closed fist. You shakily uncurled his rough fingers off his palm to reveal... a nice little keychain?

"They said it's a limited edition! So I got ya one, I saw a bunch of youngins' goin' crazy over it. Must be the newest, hottest thing among the kids these days."

You sucked your lips in and stared at it, wide eye. You're not admitting it to anyone, but you secretly longed for it ever since you saw a promotional advertisement on your social media feed. You knew back then you could never afford it because it's $30 for this piece of metal alloy and you had to buy a meal to be eligible to get it.

However, you're not fooling anyone. Montgomery and Evangeline can see how obvious you desperately wanted it upon presentation. Evangeline shook her head, now knowing that her friend is susceptible to predatory marketing tactics. Montgomery grinned from ear to ear, knowing that he could take advantage of this situation.

Before your twitchy fingers could grab it, Montgomery pulled it away and dangled it over your head.

"Where's my thanks?" He teasingly brought his face closer to yours.

You quickly mumbled some words of gratitude before trying to reach for that desired toy. He laughed at your pathetic attempt to grab it, he's too tall for you and you're too unathletic to hop far.

Evangeline almost shot up when she saw his other hand hovering around your waist. Montgomery noticed this reaction of hers and decided to place it on the table, where you and her could see.

"I only accept gratitude in kisses or phone numbers." He pressed his forehead against yours while smirking cockily.

You sat back down. Despair surfaced in your eyes as you went back to eating the coq au Vin.

"Huh? You don't wanna take it?" You shook your head and did not say a word more. The conversation is over and it's not worth it for a piece of overpriced trash.

Montgomery's smile dropped and he turned his focus to Evangeline, who simply gave him a polite, but smug smile.

"You know, it isn't a gift if you expect something in return." Evangeline innocently commented, unwrapping her burger. "It's a transaction now."

Montgomery looked away and paid no mind to her words.

She continued to jab at him verbally.

"So... is your relationship with (name)... transactional? Are you their sugar daddy?"

Anger flashed on his face as he whipped his head to Evangeline. She grinned toothily as she felt a sense of accomplishment by striking a nerve in Montgomery.

"Hey, you watch your mouth, spoiled brat." He hissed through a clenched jaw while pointing menacingly at her.

"I'm just asking a question, sir. It really does seem like you're doing all these seemingly nice gestures, just to get something back." She batted her eyelashes and pouted.

"Shut your trap, you ain't know nothin' about our relationship." Montgomery's veins are starting to show, you cower in the corner, staring at Evangeline and silently pleading her not to go on. But all she did was give you a reassuring look, mixed with a devilish one.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend sir. You're right, I don't know anything about your relationship with (name). That's why, I'm asking! I want to educate myself, so I can do better!" She spoke in the most fake performative tone ever, you could tell she was doing this on purpose to rile Montgomery up.

"You ask too many questions, Goldilocks. Ya' need to mind ya' own business." Montgomery started gritting his teeth and balling his fists.

"I'm not judging! I promise. There isn't anything wrong with having a transactional relationship, I think it's a good thing we can choose how to define our-"

"I was just kiddin', Baby." Montgomery cooed at you. Simultaneously cutting Evangeline off.

He fixed the keychain onto the zipper of your bag. "You ain't need to give anything back. I'm doin' all these because that's what a good man would do for their partners." He ruffled your hair.

Montgomery glared at Evangeline who is now having a self-congratulatory grin on her blemish-free face.

"God, y'all rich people sound the same." He grumbled, taking out his own burger and began eating.

"Thank you! We take our speech classes very seriously." That earned a scoff from Montgomery.

She hummed and tapped her chin. Brewing up more ways to mess with Montgomery.

While she took her sweet time, you finished your meal from Yves. You're not hungry anymore, so you didn't touch the food Montgomery brought.

Of course, he noticed it. "Yer food is gonna get cold, soggy fries are the worst." He tipped the bag so you would have easier access to its contents. "Dig in, sweetheart. Ain't nothin' to be shy about. They're all for ya'."

You declined, saying that you're full.

"Aw, come on. You gotta eat, you're growin'! You need your nutrients and-"

"Aren't you a bit too old to be sitting with us?" Evangeline crossed her legs and watched him intently, her pupils dilated out of mischief and curiosity. He groaned and rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm not playin' with you. Shut up." He snarled while he opened your burger box for you to eat out of.

"But sir! You're--"

Montgomery slammed his fist on the table.

"I'm grown, they're grown, you're grown. Age ain't nothin' but a number at this point. We're all adults here, you better start actin' like one, ya' little shit." He rose from his chair and made himself look bigger to intimidate Evangeline into stopping. But she persisted with that irritatingly confident smirk of hers.

"Hmm. I wouldn't conflate legality with morality. (Name) and I are still very young, after all. I'm sure you're wise and mature, it comes with age. We can learn a lot from you, sir!" Her tone became increasingly condescending and mocking, her baby blues bore holes into Montgomery's dark eyes.

You could see his lower eyelid twitching out of fury. Your friend is definitely going to get pummeled into a pulp if she doesn't back down. But she either refused to heed your quiet warnings or is oblivious to it.

"Listen here, you piece of--"

He was interrupted by an alarm blaring from his back pocket. Montgomery fished it out and took a look at his phone screen.

He frowned, grumbling incoherently under his breath as he began packing up.

"You were saying? And, where are you going--"

"To work! God damn! You're fuckin' annoying!" He exclaimed at her. All Evangeline did was maintain her straight posture and sweet smile.

"Aw. I'm sorry to hear that. Could you please tell me what I did wrong? I only wanted to learn..." He ignored her completely and whipped out his wallet. Montgomery pulled out two $20 notes and stuffed it into your bag. The man made sure to zip it up, so it wouldn't slip out.

"Treat yourself to somethin' nice after class. I'll be late, so don't wait up- go home with goldie, it ain't that safe to use the bus at night. Unless you wanna give me your number..." The man looked at you with hopeful eyes. You shook your head and he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"That's so sweet of you! Giving (name) some money to spend, just like a sugar daddy would!" She clapped her hands in excitement.

"Shut. Up." He pointed his index finger at her. Evangeline gave him Jazz hands and an open-mouth smile. Then, Montgomery turned to you.

"You gotta pick better friends, baby." He kissed you on the forehead before you could react. Cringing at how his stubble would scratch you and his hair leaving a mild greasy residue on your skin. His lips were dry and leathery, the experience was disgusting to you.

You let out a shout and tried your best to shove him away. But all you did was make him sway a little.

"Bye honey, I'll see you around." He gave you a brief, affectionate pinch on the cheek before taking off.

You and Evangeline looked at the vast number of food items he left for you. Neither of you took a bite out of anything.

You asked her if she wanted to bring it back home. She shook her head.

You decided to pack them up for your housemates instead, hopefully gaining some of their favour while Yves is away.

Evangeline wrapped her own untouched burger back up and dumped it into the paper bag.

You felt a buzz in your pocket. So you fished it out to see what was causing it.

A text from Yves was displayed on your notifications.

"I miss you."

You deem it as something unimportant, just a random thought that your boyfriend opt to share just for the sake of sharing. Totally not hinting you to call him back. So you turned your phone off and returned your device back to your pocket.

Your class is in 10 minutes anyways, you and Evangeline better hurry and wrap up soon.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere x you #yandere oc x reader #oc yves #male yandere oc x reader #oc Montgomery #oc evangeline

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aroacettorney · 5 months

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stragically speaking, i think ludger coming back as moriarty then trying to use casey for a second time to deal with black dawn like he once did in kingdom of delica is a huge blunder on his part. also if u think about it, its quite uncharacteristic for him to use this same strategy against such a formidable opponent like casey — who, as he evaluates, "can reach the truth in an instant with a simple clue." and then the more u read on (esp in the novel), the more it becomes obvious that he did not really have a plan for her at all since he does in fact know *for a certainty* that she will eventually catch on when she gets too deep in the black dawn business and he will have to run away again.

so this brings us another question: then why did he do that? there are two reasons i could think of:

the short and cheesy answer: whenever ludger is involved with casey, his rational judgment becomes clouded. rip king.

the long and more lactose-free answer: a similar situation has happened before — with aidan. being the only witness to the werewolves incident, aiden was briefly under the threat of getting silenced by ludger until ludger eventually convinced himself that killing aidan was more risky and he could have put aidan to use instead. just like with aidan, as he was seriously contemplating on getting rid of casey to protect his current identity, he eventually reached the conclusion that he could also use her instead. now lets be real for a second, objectively speaking, between these two methods, silencing casey as james moriarty would be the safest one if he really wanted to continue staying as ludger cherish. first of all, ludger doesnt need casey to deal with black dawn — for most of the time, hes a lone wolf who likes dealing with things his way, and bringing casey in would only add more variables that he couldnt control into the situation. secondly, siccing casey on black dawn was one of the most reckless decisions he had ever made not only because casey would highly likely find out about his true identity later on but as ludger also often is involved with and goes after black dawn himself, the odds that they would bump into each other again and butt heads just drastically increase. there is no way ludger would have not thought of this if hes seriously calling it a plan, and yet, he still quickly decided to go through with it despite the foreseeable troubles anyway. the reason is simple — just as ludger did not truly want to kill aidan, an innocent bystander, he was also subconsciously grasping at straws for any reason/excuse to not have to kill casey. which he, then, clearly did it again after his identity actually got exposed to casey in the later chapters.

#academy's undercover professor #academy's undercover professor spoilers #aro ludgercasey propaganda #selmore's undercover husband

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phantominzie · 7 months

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Incorrect Quotes because I have too much free time (and this post is scheduled so dont freak, your favorite clown bitch is not back)

Virgil: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”. Virgil: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

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Patton: You tricked me! Janus: I deceived you. ‘Trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.

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Remus: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Patton: wHat? Remus: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Patton: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

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Roman: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka. Roman: *upends the bottle*

Logan, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

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Murderer: Any last words? Roman: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

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Logan, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

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Janus: Whoa, Roman, what’s up with that angry face? Roman: Remus won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”. Remus: But they were! Just looks at all their gods- Roman: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

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Virgil: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints. Thomas: What hints have you given them? Virgil: Well, I think about them a lot. Virgil: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

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Patton: Screw lactose intolerance! I will consume as much dairy as I want! Patton 2 hours later, crying on the floor: WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH?!

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Patton: I don’t even use tubberware anymore. Virgil: What are you saying? Say it again. Patton: Tubberware. Virgil: Say it again. Slow. Patton: Tubberware. Virgil: Slow, very slow - actually, say the first syllable. Patton: Tub. Virgil: Wrong. Patton: What do you mean, wrong? Virgil: I thought I caught that. You’re saying tub. It’s P. Patton: What are you talking about? Virgil: Tupperware. Tupper. Patton: It’s tupper! Virgil: It’s tupper, always has been, always will be. Patton: I thought it was tubberware because it kind of looks like a tub.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #ts sides #incorrect quotes #incorrectly generated quotes #incorrect quotes generator

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months

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Hey, I just checked again to see if Brown-Eyed Lance (Voltron) was a tag yet and seeing as it isn't I wanted to inform you there is a chance you can literally just ask for it to be made.

Like step by step if you go to the bottom of the A03 website to where they say Contact Us, you can click on "Technical Support & Feedback". This will take you to a place where you can email them about all kinds of things, they give you a list of various things you can contact them over even and one of them is to "Request to Canonize or Change Tags". This means you can literally just straight up ask for a Tag to be created for the website.

I've used this a number of times to make suggestions about the website and request beneficial features for how it runs before in the past and they have always been nice to me and contacted me back within a week or two if not on the same day. And while I don't take credit, some of the things I've asked for have actually been realized, which implies either they really did listen to me or multiple people asked for similar things. Either way, it's great. And if they can't do something, they've always explained why not in a simple but polite way.

So yeah, I think you can get your tag, especially if you mention having 6 pages worth of works show up when you click on your unofficial tag.

There are rare pairs with less works than that (for example hunk/antok which is apparently a real rare pair only has 7 works, not pages, works) so yeah there's no reason if you asked that they shouldn't make the tag. And since content is still actively being made with the unofficial tag to this day, it's relevant.

Now have some extra official A03 tag examples that have less than or a similar amount of works to brown-eyed Lance that you can point out for your case:

1) Barista Lance (Voltron) 6 pages, 103 works

2) Lactose Intolerant Keith (Voltron) 4 pages, 61 works

3) Protective Voltron Lions, 2 pages, 26 works

4) Olkari (Voltron) 1 page, 12 works

5) Pidge | Katie Holt is so Done, 4 pages, 77 works

6) BAMF Hunk (Voltron) 3 pages, 56 works

Hopefully, if you bring these up, should you contact them, it will help cement your tag as worth creating offically. Especially since each one is a specific example from the VLD fandom.

I think the request will have more weight if an author using the tag makes it through your account, but you don't have to be the only one. After all an official tag makes it easier to find similar content so anyone who wants the Brown-Eyed Lance (Voltron) Tag can make the request too mentioning if its a tag they personally would use to search for similar fics with this very specific niche in it. You don't even need an account, just leave an email that they can leave a reply to.

Sorry this is so long, but I just really want to help you get your tag. You don't have to do it of course, but I figured having incredibly detailed information like this out there wouldn't hurt even if it's very wordy.

Anyways good luck with your tag! Hope this helps you and anyone who might want a reasonable tag to be created with evidence of it being worth it. (Should you publish this that is)

thank you for this!! it was super informative and easy to follow which i appreciate 😌😌 i sent it, so fingers crossed everyone!! and everyone feel free to send them emails as well!!

#ask #longpost #brown eyed lance

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spooniechef · 1 year

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Cooking With Spoons: Intro

Hi; I go by Thess most of the time, and I have a lot of chronic conditions. The worst of them is the fibromyalgia, with its attendant fibro fog, fatigue, and IBS as well as the chronic pain. I also have chronic migraine, a gluten intolerance that may or may not be coeliac disease, lactose intolerance, chronic sinusitis, and what is probably undiagnosed ADHD. I am, in short, a bit of a mess.

All of the above conditions, individually or all together, really affect how people function, especially in the kitchen. The food intolerances make ready-made meals impossible or at least expensive. The pain and fatigue make cooking difficult to bear, and conditions like fibro fog and ADHD make following recipes tricky. With food prices skyrocketing, cooking at home is a necessity, but spoonies generally struggle with it. I know that for my own part, I round up just clinging to a few very simple recipes, and not expanding my range much more than that. It got boring. It got depressing. I wanted variety, but I didn’t want to suffer too badly to get it.

I’ve been doing well at picking up recipes and kitchen hints that make life a lot easier for me, and allows me to add variety to my meals while still not necessarily cooking every day. I’m still learning, and there’s a lot of trial and error involved, but it’s helping. So I thought, “Why not share what I’m learning with others?”

That’s what this blog is for. I’ll be posting recipes, tips and tricks to make things easier in the kitchen, notes on worthwhile kitchen utensils and what makes or breaks a gluten-free or milk-free substitution, and everything else I’ve been figuring out to make sure I’m eating right in a very tricky situation. Obviously you don’t have to have a chronic illness to enjoy any of these hints and recipes; just that I’m writing these posts with the understanding that not everyone can do the things recipes ask us to do easily - like “stirring continuously”, just for example.

So welcome to notes from the Spoonie Chef - all of the cooking, with a minimum of spoon usage.

#The Spoonie Chef #Intro post #cooking

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salt-volk · 7 months

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calling someone uncreative and a dickhead for getting exactly what they wanted for themselves? Oops doesn't matter it's not FOR you 🤷‍♂️ Ya'll sound like people complaining about other people's orders at starbucks- "When people order skinny lactose free its so cringe why can't they order something I~ understand" In what way is it a random other player's job to take care of your wants? I don't like kpop pet custom but it's just Not For Me. All kpop is Not For Me and thats fine!

[ reply to this ]

#anonymous #mod yoshi #customs #reply

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minlout3heathlegs3ruffthrokfan · 3 months

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Hello, everyone! Today, I've decided to make a poll due to it being the Year of the Dragon, AAAAND it'll also be Hiccup's Birthday. It's fate, so I'm determined to get a bunch of HTTYD fanfics done, mostly one-shots and stuff. However, this poll is to determine what multi-chapter, full-length story ideas to go with, because I can't decide. So I would appreciate some help, my dear followers! 😉🙏🏻

There are several ideas I'd like to work on, however, I'm struggling to choose which one to start on first. Granted, I have a feeling I know what you guys want me to work on first, but I still wanted to ask anyways. 😏

So before you vote, I'd like to list down the options below and a little summary as to what each choice will be about.

The poll will end on 11pm CST, March 29th, Hiccup's birthday.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Spilt Milk (A Minlout Story)

[Minlout and Heathlegs, with mention of Hiccstrid]

(Modern AU) A current WIP where Snotlout and Fishlegs take their girlfriends to an ice cream joint for a double date to have Shamrock Shakes for St. Patrick’s Day. But Snotlout forgets that Minden’s lactose intolerant and allergic to milk products, leaving her upset and she leaves, leaving Snotlout lost and guilty — and knowing that there’s a rift in their relationship because of his idiocy and inconsideration.

Can Snotlout pick up the pieces and make it up to Minden for his mistake? Or is this the beginning of the end of the only romantic relationship he’s ever had?

College Years (A Heathlegs Story)

(Modern/College AU) This story follows Fishlegs and Snotlout as they deal with college drama, stressful curriculum, tough professors, problematic peers, learning to “adult”, dorm drama, young adult antics, and even love. All’s fair in love and college. The following four years will test the strength and durability of their friendship — especially when a certain raven-haired vixen enters their lives.

The Impossible Quest (A Heathlegs Story)

When Thorvald (OC), Dagur and Heather’s cousin, requests Fishlegs’ audience on Berserk, he and Snotlout decide to go fly over there. However, the welcome is hardly friendly. It’s discovered that Thorvald found the love letters and poems between Fishlegs and Heather, and that according to Viking law, the punishment for tainting a chieftain’s female relative through love letters and poems is death.

However, since someone came and told him about the records proving that Fishlegs is a distant relative of the Berserker Royal Family, he will be exempt from this fate and will instead be forced to participate in an Impossible Quest in order to win Heather’s hand in marriage. Should he fail, not only will he not get Heather’s hand but his life will also be forfeit. The Quest? Fishlegs has to hunt down a dragon that’s been terrorizing the Forest Interior of Berserk and has been preventing the Berserkers from being able to get access to the area where the Berserk bees live to acquire their honey. Kill it and give Thorvald its head.

Will Fishlegs and Snotlout be able to complete the Quest and defeat the dragon? Or will they fail and lose their lives or their honor?

Tradition or Bust (A Minlout Story)

(Arranged Marriage AU)

Snotlout and his family is off to the Althing to find a bride for Snotlout. While he’s there, he surprisingly meets up with Minden and the other Wingmaidens. When he asks her why they’re here at the Althing, she replies that Freya has released them from her service by sending the Razorwhips away, thus freeing them from their vows. While several went back home, most have felt unwilling to leave their fellow sisters-in-arms and Atali decided to establish the Wingmaidens as an official Viking Tribe and now rules them as their Chieftess, with Minden as her Heir. As a consequence, the Wingmaidens are now searching for men amongst their allies and Atali’s own clan for potential husbands. The catch? Those men have to cut all ties with their former community and join the Wingmaidens at theirs. It’s not strictly a matriarchal society, but neither is it patriarchal.

Of course, Minden wishes for Snotlout to be her groom, and formally asks him to marry her. While Snotlout is both shocked, surprised, and ecstatic, he’s also hesitant and afraid because he knows that his father would be against this match, being a fierce and stubborn traditionalist to the Old Ways.

And he’s right. When Spitelout finds out, he’s furious. With Snotlout being his only male heir, Spitelout wants and expects Snotlout to remain on Berk with their family clan, so that he can inherit the mantle once Spitelout either steps down or dies. Thus he demands that either Minden join HIS clan or she can find someone else.

Can Snotlout and Minden overcome Spitelout’s chauvinistic thinking? Will they be able to be together? Or will they have to part their separate ways and marry someone else?

Snotlout’s Impossible Quest (A Minlout Story)

(Arranged Marriage AU)

An alternative story to “Tradition or Bust” where instead of Minden asking for Snotlout’s hand, Snotlout asks for Minden’s hand. This time, instead of the Wingmaidens, it’s just Minden with her maternal family — Atali and her family, with her (Atali’s) brother at the forefront as Chief of their Tribe. Not very impressed with Snotlout, and with other men competing for the hands of Minden and Linden, Atali’s brother offers Snotlout an ultimatum: either he completes an Impossible Quest of his (the Chief’s) choosing, or he relinquishes his chance of winning Minden’s hand.

Stormy Weather (A Minlout Story)

Snotlout flies to Wingmaiden Island, tasked to deliver a message to Atali, when a fierce thunderstorm hits him when he’s three-fourths of the way there. Will he survive? Or will history and deja vu repeat itself?

Saga of Snotlout the Strong (A Minlout Story)

(Saga AU) A story that has Snotlout running into a snowstorm. Seeking shelter, Snotlout, a warrior, asks the owner of the house — Johann — for his hospitality. When Johann leaves for a journey, he tasks Snotlout with the duty of protecting his family and property from raiders. When raiders come to barge in on the peaceful estate, it’s up to Snotlout to save the day. Can he defeat them and win both honor and renown? Or will he fail and be under their mercy?

Saga of Fishlegs the Bonecrushingly Strong (A Heathlegs Story)

Basically like the story above, but with Fishlegs, Heather, Berserker raiders, and him acting his alternate persona: Thor Bonecrusher.

Snotlout the Weapon-Tester (A Minlout Story)

(Saga AU) A story where Snotlout is Gobber’s Weapons Tester in his village, and Trader Johann arrives so Gobber sends Snotlout to get his usual scrap metal and other items. He then meets Johann’s daughters and falls in love with Minden, his eldest daughter. Can a humble Weapon Tester like him woo a Merchant’s Daughter? Can he get her to look his way? Or is he to be forever doomed to be a laughingstock for being the only single youth in his village?

Snotlout the Goldsmith (A Minlout Story)

(Saga AU) A story where Snotlout and his brothers Throk and Fishlegs are out hunting and run into a group of Valkryies bathing. As they watch, they see some ne’er-do-wells trying to take advantage of them and corner them, so they decide to come to their rescue. Afterwards, the Valkryies introduce themselves as Heather, Minden, and Ruffnut. They then offer themselves to the men, each of them choosing the man they wish to marry. But they warn that they’ll be off to join in Odin’s wars after a long hiatus. So for several years they end up happy living together and even starting to have children of their own. But eventually they disappear as promised. Saddened, Throk and Fishlegs abandon their homes as they go on a journey to find their wives again, leaving Snotlout, and their children, to remain behind, Snotlout having faith that his wife will return one day, and thus continues life as usual.

However, Mala, Queen of the region where they live, hears of them and how Snotlout is a legendary goldsmith and warrior, and with a prophecy which foretells of this, Mala sends soldiers to take them and tries to pressure Snotlout to marry her. But Snotlout’s heart is still set for his absent wife.

Will Snotlout be able to get out and escape? Will the wives of Snotlout and his brothers ever return?

A Warrior, A Dragon, and the Princess Trapped in the Tower (A Ruffthrok Story)

(Saga/Fairytale AU) Ruffnut entered a tower to search for some goodies and find her brother, but she ends up trapped in the tower. Turns out it’s a trap made by a dragon and it imprisons her in the tower. So Ruffnut, absolutely bored out of her mind, just looks on in annoyance as warriors from all over the Viking world try to slay the dragon, only to be defeated. But hark! A warrior comes. Who is he? His name is Throk. Will he succeed in defeating the dragon and freeing Ruffnut from her prison of eternal boredom?

Switching Places (A Minlout Story)

(Arranged Marriage AU)

When Spitelout takes Snotlout to the Althing in search for a bride to carry on the Jorgenson name, he (Snotlout) certainly wasn’t expecting to see Minden of all people — not only without any Wingmaidens around, but also with her twin sister, Linden (OFC), Atali and her family. And he DEFINITELY wasn’t expecting that Minden and Linden were Atali’s biological daughters and Atali’s brother’s foster daughters. When Snotlout asks if her family’s looking for a husband for her and Linden, and their foster father cuts in and explains that yes, they are — that is to say that LINDEN is, and that Minden actually already has a young man whom he plans on marrying her to, much to Snotlout’s shock and Minden’s chagrin.

As if to make matters worse, Snotlout runs into the guy, and instead of apologizing, the man demands Snotlout to apologize, riling the latter up. If that doesn’t stoke the fire for conflict, the Twins decide to honor Loki by contributing to the conversation and managing to put a speechless Snotlout into an even deeper hole by declaring a duel between Snotlout and Minden’s almost-fiance: the winner gets to marry Minden. At the same time, Linden begins to form a plan to get Minden and Snotlout together — one that will be incredibly risky and could involve either much dishonor or even Snotlout’s death.

Can Snotlout survive the duel and defeat his love rival for Minden’s hand? Or will he fail and lose honor and face — and possibly his life? And what is Linden scheming with that brain of hers?

Case of the Missing Razorwhips (A HTTYD Short-story with Minlout)

When the Gang gets a message from Atali informing them of missing Razorwhips, they go to Wingmaiden Island to help them solve the mystery. Can they figure it out before the Razorwhips are once again on the verge of endangerment? And how will Snotlout ever find the time amongst the chaos to play footsie with Minden?

Atali Gets Amnesia (A HTTYD Short-story with Minlout)

After suffering an accident, Atali has lost all memory of being a Wingmaiden — and is even scared of dragons like a normal Viking. Not knowing what to do, the Wingmaidens seek the aid of the Riders. When nothing seems to work, Hiccup comes up with the idea to use hypnotism to try to awaken her memories, and asks Snotlout to work his magic!

Will Snotlout succeed in his task? Will Atali be able to recover her memories and her old self back? Or will Snotlout blunder it up as usual?

We Weren’t Meant to Be (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Short-story)

Since DreamWorks/Netflix failed to show or explain in the final episode of the RTTE series how the SnotRuffLegs love triangle came to be and just let the Heathlegs, Ruffthrok, and Minlout pairings fade away without any logical explanation or natural progression, this story will have each pairing resolve this, and have it show how Snotlout and Fishlegs ended up competing for Ruffnut’s hand.

Life At Caldera Cay (A Ruffthrok Story)

[Ruffnut x Throk, Tuffnut x OFC]

What if Ruffnut had accepted Throk’s proposal during “Snuffnut”? However, she only accepts if Throk allows Tuffnut to come with them, convincing him that having Tuffnut around would be beneficial for domestic duties. After the nice foot massages, Throk can’t help but agree. So Tuffnut goes with Ruffnut and Throk back to Caldera Cay, where Ruffnut becomes Throk’s wife. This story follows them as they live their new life, and there also seems to be a local Defender who appears to find Tuffnut’s personality endearing.

The Three Musketeers (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

Snotlout, Throk, and Fishlegs are part of the King’s Companions of the Wilderwest, and start getting involved in a conspiracy that schemes to dethrone King Hiccup the Third. Can they be able to stop the plot and protect the King? Will they also find love along the way?

WW1/WW2 AU (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

An AU about our favorite characters in a World War era universe. Whether as soldiers, civilians, Resistance, spies, or something else.

Beauty and the Beast AU (A Minlout Story)

A story for which Snotlout stars as the Beast, and Minden as Belle’s roll. Minden has been sheltered in her hometown her whole life, but she has always been fascinated in the tales of dragons and dragon riders. But when her parents disappear while on a journey, Minden decides to leave the safety of her home to go search for them, until she comes to a place both feared and the source of legends: Breakneck Bog, a realm where a famous ruler had once lived before darkness descended and cursed the place, and no one who lived there was ever heard from again, and the place was separated from where Minden had lived years ago. There are rumors of a monster that lurks in the Bog, snatching passing travelers to devour once he returns to his den. Nevertheless, Minden goes in, knowing that her parents must be here after a friend spotted them enter here.

When she enters the abandoned castle, she calls for anyone to answer her, only to run into the Monster of Breakneck Bog: A humagon. Half man, half dragon. She bargains with the creature to let her parents go in exchange for her to remain. But it’s so difficult when the occupant is so... monstrous.

Can Snotlout be able to become a human again? Can he get her to fall in love with him long enough for the curse to be lifted? Or is he doomed forever to be in this hideous form of a humagon?

Quest for Camelot AU (A Minlout Story)

A story where Minden roles as Kayley the spunky daughter of a knight and Snotlout stars as the blind hermit Garrett in a Quest for Camelot AU. When Dagur the Deranged wishes to claim the Dragon Eye and become King of the Archipelago, can Minden and Snotlout stop him?

My Jolly Sailor Bold (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

(Siren/Mermaid AU)

Snotlout, Fishlegs and Throk join the crew of a ship on a journey when they’re beset by sirens/mermaids. But they end up getting captured and imprisoned. As the crew ends up being cruel towards them, Fishlegs stands up and protests against it and saying that they’re not evil creatures. While less sure, and hesitant, Throk and Snotlout join him in his protest. And they quickly help them escape. As a result of this, they end up getting up in a boat and marooned and left stranded on the ocean. As the three argue about whether freeing the creatures was the right decision or not, said creatures meet them from the ocean.

What will they do? Will Fishlegs, Throk, and Snotlout meet a grisly fate at the bottom of the ocean?

A Mermaid’s Call (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

(Siren/Mermaid AU)

The male HTTYD cast get turned into mermen as a curse, and they can never hope to return back to their human forms unless they manage to lure a female in with their mersong that only they can sing.

As months turn into years which turn into decades, the men learn to learn and polish their songs and many attempts have been made with varying results. One by one, each of the men were able to return back to being humans again. Except for one.

Snotlout can only look on as his friends are able to go back to their normal lives and pretend that the curse was behind them, while he is left behind, the only one who has yet to lure anyone in with his mersong. He had a few bites, but none of it was enough to end his curse. Will Snotlout ever be able to find someone who will respond to his song? Or is Snotlout doomed to remain a merman... forever?

Prince & the Pauperess (A Ruffthrok Story)

The Twins are the Twins, but what if they had been separated since birth, and Ruffnut was given to a poor family, while Tuffnut is the eldest in the Royal Family? What would happen if Tuffnut was bored with his life and wanted some stimulation, only to run into someone who vaguely looks like him, but a girl? And what if he had a schemish scheme that had them switch positions for a few days? And said woman fell in love with his hunky hunk bodyguard Sir Throk? Surely, nothing BAD can happen... right?

The Quest for Camelot (A Heathlegs Story)

Basically, similar to the Minlout version, but with Heathlegs.

Robin Hood AU (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

Our dastardly trio will be playing the roles of our favorite characters in Disney's Robin Hood. Will they be able to win the hands of our favorite certain maidens?

Emperor's New Groove AU (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

Where Snotlout's the Emperor/King, but is blind when an enemy from within turns him into a dragon or a sheep or a boar (you guys decide). He then gets the help of a village chief (Fishlegs) to help him find the cure to bring him back to being a human. He also does a little soul-searching along the way.

Selkie AU (A Minlout/Heathlegs/Ruffthrok Story)

What happens when Snotlout, Fishlegs, and Throk find a group of Selkies? Obviously, they ask them to marry them! But will they accept? Or will they abandon them, leaving the with broken hearts?

Mulan AU (A Ruffthrok Story)

When her homeland gets invaded, Ruffnut decides to disguise herself as a man and join the Defenders, where her unit gets trained for the front lines. They’re being trained by Throk, Commander of the unit, whom isn’t bad to look at. However, her tendency for causing trouble, despite her excellent performances as a trainee, causes her to almost get kicked out of camp — that is... if the war didn’t decide to come to them at that moment. Between fighting the enemy and trying to keep the others in her unit from discovering her true identity. Will she survive? Will they find out her secret? Can they defeat the enemy?

Snotlout’s A Daddy AU (A Minlout Story)

(Modern AU)

When playboy and wealthy Snotlout makes a terrible mistake, Minden has enough and leaves him. Little does he know that his life’s about to change several months later. When Snotlout find a baby on his doorstep, he finds out through a letter that it’s HIS courtesy of Minden, and that if he can prove himself to be a good father to their child, then she’ll return to him.

Not the type who’s good with babies, not even his own, he enlists the help of his buddies Throk and Fishlegs, and even Hiccup. Hilarity ensues as they learn how to raise a baby and become a new father/uncles. Will they succeed, or will it end with a loaded diaper? Will Snotlout be able to get back together with Minden, now that he realizes how precious she is to him?

Virtual Intervention (A Spitelout + Minlout Story)

(Modern AU)

When Spitelout learns that his son quit his day job in favor of playing World of Vikings all day, he decides to hire virtual assassins to kill his son’s character in order to get Snotlout back to normal life. Little does he know that there was an easier and much cheaper option.

Blog/YouTube AU (A Minlout Story)

There’s actually two different story ideas for this AU:

Story #1: Snotlout and Minden are bloggers or Youtubers who often look at each other’s blogs or vids, and can often collab with each other. They’re pretty popular and their viewers seem to enjoy a favorite pastime of shipping them and even coming up with memes.

Story #2: Snotlout has a blog/vlog/Youtube channel, and he’s a relatively famous icon online and does this when he’s not at school or in his activities. However, he’s suffering from low self-esteem and even low-key depression because of his father. When his father finds out about his low grades and that he didn’t make the football team, he’s furious and dismisses him as a failure and a worthless son. Feeling rather down about that, Snotlout decides to start another article/video. When he discovers a recent comment from what seems like a long-time subscriber, his spirits begin to lift. What’s more is that they, the subscriber, wishes to meet him in person at the park. While wary at first, Snotlout figures that he ought to thank them in person and agrees. When he goes to the park, he runs into his subscriber — a girl named Minden — and his life changes forever.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Thank you very much for your support! I look forward to the results of your votes, and I'll let you guys know what the top 3 choices were by the end of March 29th.

Minlout! Heathlegs! Ruffthrok! Oi, Oi, Oi!

— Minlout3Heathlegs3RuffthrokFan

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mintmatcha · 8 months

Note

can i ask why you're researching protein? is it for like the gym? i'm genuinely curious

-🧀

It's for the gym and so i dont upset my stomach!

Protein powder is infamous for its awful taste and it's ability to trigger stomach issues. Certain artificial sweeteners can be a big trigger, but the main culprit is whey protein, which is derived from dairy.

Whey protein comes in a couple of different forms. Concentrated whey is what it sounds like. Water naturally dilutes extracted whey, so a multi step process is done to remove excess liquid until the remaining product can be dried. The lactose, fat, and carbs are NOT removed in this process.

Whey protein isolate is broken down even further, removing the lactose and most of the other macronutrients. This is great for people with lactose intolerance or IBS.

There is also casein, which is also milk derived but can sometimes be dairy free.

Vegan protein is becoming more popular, but has had some bad push back. The myth that it affects hormone levels in unproven. The only notable draw backs are that plant based proteins aren't as bioavailable as animal based

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ifthestarsarewilling · 1 month

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Oc Lore- COG

this has a lot of religious stuff (christian mostly) so if that makes you uncomfortable i wouldn't read it.

but if your okay with it, lets go!

aight, ill start with a basic run down of the story before i get into my ocs because some things wont make much sense otherwise

COG is a visual novel type thing exploring the relationship between a creator and their creations. in this case, the creator would be me (hi yes. me) and the creations are the ocs ill be talking about in a bit. you/the player play through a week, choosing who to talk to and eventually, the four of you go on a road trip. the person whos philosophies/relationship with me you relate to the most drives (you sit in the front seat) and when you get to your destination (the sky, where in universe me lives) you... well ill get to that after doing ocs. then there are four endings:

i kill the four of you and your all reborn into new, animalistic bodies, but i also die

i destroy the universe and you all with it, and i let myself live and create another, better universe

you're all sent back down with boons of some sort and ways to contact me at any time

you all stay with me and become more god-like beings

and thats about it. anyways oc time now!!

Oc 1: Patrick (Pat)

pat, he/him, late twenties/early thirties, straight agender

hes a farmer who keeps bees! kinda like a cowboy. he has a pickup truck-like thing (this is MY fantasy world and i can make him have a magic cart that's basically a truck if i want) and lets you sit in the back. also gives you free honey.

hes a proper country lad, quite smart but cant be bothered to do anything with it. also absolutely JACKED like i mean MUSCLES all over this bad boy

he had a femme phase when he was younger, right after his parents died. still has some of the dresses

he likes me. his whole deal is 'hey, you were kinda an awful mom, but i mean you weren't really to blame. gave us all free will and stuff. please talk to me mom'

hes cool. i love my farmer son

Oc 2: The Mermaid

the mermaid, she/her, around one fifty, cishet

shes like, really unhealthily christian. now theres nothing wrong with being christian, but shes just using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

so basically she had to leave the ocean and become a human after a lot of pollution ruined her home. now, being... yknow. ex-mermaid, she was treated kinda badly by the humans she first met. and so she converted to christianity to try and fit in! didnt really work though...

so she went mad from her hopelessness. prayed for days upon end without sleeping until her (not humanlike) form became twisted and eldritch from starvation. shes obsessed with being human.

so yeah.

she prays a lot. tries to convert people. considers me a false god and would kill me if given the opportunity.

Oc 3: Rose

rose, it/its, 17, aromantic pansexual genderqueer

it wants to kill me :3

okay so basically its just... sad? lots of angst here.

its parents were killed in a hate crime (it had two dads) and it was left to raise itself. obviously it found out about my existence, and sort of went "hey, you. why did you let my parents die?" and after receiving no response it is now trying to kill me.

its good at metalworking! the knife in the picture is made by it, as is the necklace and earrings its wearing.

@n3bu-la you wanted to see this?? here you goo sorry it took me so long lol

it is also lactose intolerant and dies its hair. naturally its got straight black hair it basically fried it lol

#dae:)#oc stuff!#my babies #i love them sm #oc art #cog- oc stuff

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roundaboutnow · 1 month

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i am so PISSED at my job

for the record, today was a great day. it was an easy shift and i got to train one of the best people ive ever met. genuinely, i had a great morning.

but the POLICIES at this store? god.

i've been here for 3 years and the prices were already unreasonable but i've seen them raise these so much and its disgusting. extra shots of espresso used to be .25 each. now they're 1.10.

we have to charge for milk substitution, like fuck you for being lactose intolerant i guess. we have to charge for water, which is actually free if you pay for something else (apparently it's the fee for the cup). we cant give discounts, we dont take EBT, we cant feed our employees for free (and it's not like ANY company lets you take home expired sandwiches or pastries) we're supposed to pressure people to buy ventis when they just want talls. we cant give you a discount if you bring your own cup and we don't give you free refills on coffee, nope not even if you have your receipt, not unless you drink that sucker within 30 minutes and even then you have to pay 10 cents.

we charge for iced ventis, which makes sense to an extent, because they get extra pumps and an extra shot. but now they expect us to charge more for iced talls and grandes, too? why? it's the same amount of syrup and espresso and milk, and it's not extra for the effort because it's not that hard to make. oh and we checked, unless you ask for light ice youre mostly drinking water. it's just price gauging! they realized they could pretend iced drinks were worth more and make people pay out their ass

my merchandizer says we're losing money so she's enforcing these strict and pricey charging practices, many of them are new, and it's ridiculous. how are we not making a profit if we charge every customer 7 bucks for a latte? what the hell are these corporate fucks spending all that money on and dont you DARE tell me it's inflation

my customers are being cheated and im being used and i cant believe im still putting up with this shit after all this time

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knoxic · 9 months

Text

Random Criminal Minds canon things (based on my DR)

(I think it accidentally happened because of my headcannons?)

divided it into 2 parts, 2nd one under the cut is NSFW and contains: panic attacks, anxiety, homophobia, suicidal thoughts. (but there is a fun part dw)

SFW

• Derek is lactose intolerant, still drinks milk almost every day and loves icecream.

• Dave and Hotch genuinely consider each other best friends.

• Hotch and Pen give the best birthday gifts.

• Derek broke someone's nose because they made fun of Spencer behind his back, Spencer doesn't know what happened and gave him a lecture on why he shouldn't pick fights.

• JJ is in charge of ordering food and coffe while we're on cases, chooses the best food and place and somehow always knows what we want.

• Dave made pizza one night and now Garcia keeps begging him to open a Pizza restaurant. (he rolls his eyes and says "it's a family thing" as an excuse every times she asks)

• Hotch kept groaning and mumbling for 7 hours straight because our coffe machine was broken and we couldn't get coffee.

• Emily has terrible migraines, only Spencer and I know because we shared medicines once.

• Hotch thinks everything he does as a father is wrong and Jack hates him for them. Cried on my shoulder one night after Jack called him his hero.

• Out of everyone in the team, JJ has the best aim and worst eye sight. (she wears lenses at work and glasses at home)

• Hotch banished Spencer from making everyone's coffee ever since he put 4 cubes of sugar in each cup. (I let him do mine tho)

• Dave keeps 3 bottles of whiskey in his office. Tried sneaking one in Hotch's office once claiming its "so you can have a drink every time you're feeling miserable:)", Hotch felt like it was wrong so he took it home without Dave noticing (he did).

• Penelope once dreamed about getting married and having a kid, sometimes cry herself to sleep missing the baby.

• JJ never took Henry to a church but taught him about every religion she knows so he could choose if he wanted to have one. Will teaches him to be acceptable and open minded.

• Spencer likes fem terms (especially being called pretty)

• Jack has a doll named Lisa, plays with her as if she was a baby (Hotch gets baby fever watching him).

• Hotch, Spencer and Emily are queers.

• Penelope is pansexual.

NSFW

this is the not fun part... feel free to skip

• Emily once had a panic attack because Strauss forced her to "sit properly", her mom used to tell her that all the time.

• Hotch has CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

• JJ was homophobic, knows its wrong but its the way she was raised to be as a kid, grew out of it but still catches herself judging ppl.

• Emily had a ED for a great part of her life.

•Emily and Spencer have chronic anxiety.

• Hotch used to have suicidal thoughts during his 8-18 years, never tried anything because he heard his dad say that "people who kill themselves are cowards"

• Derek had toxic relationships (on both his side and his partners side) for years,

• Before Haley, Hotch had an abusive relationship with a girl older than him (he was a minor, she wasn't...).

ehhh

• Emily used to only have one night threesomes to avoid relationships and feelings.

• Spencer and Ethan had a established dom/sub relationship. It ended when they had a fight over Spencer going to the FBI, Ethan knew it meant they wouldn't see each other much and he just wanted to settle down with Spence, so he left.

now to the fun part:))

• Hotch likes to have his nipples sucked.

• Spencer has a thing for biting (being bitten and biting)

• Derek tried men before, it didn't stick but he had a great time.

• Hotch also tried men (college) but he actually liked it, would do it again 100%, asked Haley to top him once but she refused.

• Emily owns a strap-on.

• Hotch and Spencer have a insane libido, literally the wind could turn them on.

• JJ could cum just from giving head.

• Hotch + couch sex =👩‍🦽

• Suck JJ's Fingers.

• Make love = Hotch Derek

Fuck = JJ Emily

Have sex = Spencer Pen

• Penelope is not extremely experienced but she does it good.

• Hotch loves body worship (giving)

• Kinks

Hotch = Breeding, Exhibitionism, Pregnancy, Age Play, Quirofilia (hands🥴), Somno, Praise (giving) Dd/Lg, Deepthroat.

Derek = Collaring, Blindfold, Roleplaying, Corruption, Dom/sub.

Emily = Somno, Corruption, Choking,

JJ = Cuckolding, Corruption, Deepthroat

Penelope = Roleplaying, Age Play, Spitting,

Spencer = Bondage, Praise, Quirofilia, Corruption.

(btw I'm not sure if Hotch got more kinks because hes kinky or because I just (sexually) know him better than the rest?)

anyways:) that was it, might do another one if I remember other things later.

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #derek morgan #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #spencer reid #penelope garcia #david rossi #bau family #bau team #Vlennoxdr

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