#food is important and its completely fucking worth sobbing over

[synchlora]

can't find any good posts on it so I'll make it myself!

its okay to be upset you can't eat foods you want. its okay to be pissed as hell that every time it seems okay, you get a flare up. its okay to be fucking angry that something you love to eat causes you pain

be angry abt it! be mad that some stupid starch hurts you! be upset at all of those doctors who brush you off! be pissed about people in your life not taking it seriously!

food is an incredibly important part of everyone's lives and its frustrating and infuriating to have any sort of struggles with it. cry over it, talk about it, be loud. it is hellish to have any gastrointestinal disability and, diagnosis or not, you deserve to be able to find comfort in food

so to all of my fellow stomach sufferers, I hope you have a nice evening / morning / night and I wish you good meals and snacks in the days to come. I hope your body goes easy on you and your flare ups lessen, I hope the foods you are able to eat bring you comfort and enjoyment. and I hope when things do get bad, you can find solace with others who understand what you're going through <3

#I cannot count how many times I've cried over food #especially when its social #I think my earliest memory of crying about food was when I was ~12 and had just discovered i was lactose intolerant #and my mom got me an ice cream cake for my birthday #it felt like a cruel joke. and she didn't even understand why j was so upset until I explained it to her #I had to take lunches to school and prepare meals because nothing at school was safe to eat #and on days I didn't have the spoons for it I simply Wouldnt eat #it was so frustrating because one issue became two became four became more than I can count #and food has lost a lot of the comfort and enjoyment it once had because of all the pain #but know that even with setbacks it can get better #narrowing down one bad food after the other is so so fucking worth it just to make food not a chore anymore #there will always be bad days and there will always be new things that crop up as unsafe #but know that even if an old favorite food becomes dangerous that new favorites are out there #I used to love ham on everything but now I can't eat it without awful pain and allergic reaction #but even without that old comfort food I've found new ones like turkey sausage and pasta #just. dude feel free to cry about food #its not dumb jts not overreacting #food is important and its completely fucking worth sobbing over #to everyone with gut issues I wish you good luck o7 know that there is food out there that you'll love and won't hurt you #food tw

[itssleepyrabbit]

hi! wow i super love your art and i don’t have enough dabihawks in my life 🥺 was wondering if you had any fic recs for them?? 💕💕

aah thank you so much!! 💕💕 💕💕

BOY IF I DO HAVE!! alright buckle up this might get long (most are fluff and SFW~ i’ll put a NSFW warning but be sure to look at tags in all of them!!)

Bed I made (lie in it with me) by  silverwordswrites

“Touya is in desperate need of a plus-one for his brother's wedding and Keigo is infinitely curious about the man who he was sure used to hate him in college.” 

-- the summary says everything and honestly it’s one of the most romatics dabihawks fics i’ve read.

On-going

He Doesn't Love Me by  Fatally

“Dabi doesn't love him. He's accepted that thorny truth, swallowed it down and let briars grow in his chest, drinking down his blood like water.Or: The one in which Hawks settles for pining for his entire life and doesn't realize Dabi's been staring at him the entire time, too.” 

-- I love pinning Hawks with a burning passion.

Completed

sweetheart, is that you? by  fuckendeavor666

“dabi and hawks say i love you (without actually saying i love you) in five different ways.“ 

-- This is my absolute fave dabihawks fic

Completed

Deck the Halls With Boughs of Folly by  DrAphra

“In which the League has acquired a new fancy mansion -with all the heating and food and plush beds they could possibly need - but they still prefer to spend the day out in the wilderness with just each other. Plus Hawks.“ 

-- Honestly all Aphra’s dabihawks fics are more than worth it but this one has a special place on my heart.

Completed

fuck, im so young - orphaned

“Todoroki Touya writes poems.

Words upon words of heartfelt confessions, letters of sing song fantasies, syllables of feelings he never got to say out loud.

When Todoroki Touya hits sixteen, he burns himself to death.

When Dabi hits twenty four-

He meets Hawks.” 

-- i don’t know how to explain but this fic it’s pretty

Completed

Feathers and Feelings by  Toboe1087

“Hawks keeps leaving feathers on his pillow, and Dabi's about had it.

(like hell he'd let anyone else have them, though)”

-- Dabi preening Hawks feathers is a blessing

Complete

(this is not a) swan song by  bittermoons

“"Who's your favorite, then?"

"Hawks." Touya doesn't miss a beat. "Definitely Hawks."

"What? Seriously? How come?"

"He has his flaws, but at the end of the day, he's trying to do good. It's something he always strives for. Dabi, on the other hand...if it weren't for Hawks, he wouldn't be a hero, that's for sure."

[Or: How a secret is revealed, and what comes afterwards.]”

-- Adorable no quirks AU with manga artist Touya and oblivious Keigo! Another author i adore pretty much all dabihawks works.

Completed

You can't trap the sky in a bottle by thyandra

“Letting Toga organize the accommodations for their trip might have been a mistake. This particular truth becomes obvious to Keigo as he opens the door of his hotel room for the first time. There, staring back at him mockingly, is a single, king-sized bed. It’s only by virtue of all the years spent perfecting his poker face around his adoptive parents, that he manages to keep his face straight. At his side, Touya clicks his tongue. “They must’ve given us the wrong key.””

--(no quirks AU) I really love they way Dabi and Hawks are written here i can’t express it in words and so so much pinning

Completed

A Tale as Old as Time by  EloFromMars, Gotcocomilk

“Dabi and Hawks are hit by the most improbable Quirk: both are yeeted in Fairytales land and have to rely on each other to get out of this.“

-- this was such a fun read omg

Completed

A Romance Written All Over Your Body by  minatsukinoamayo

//NSFW mind the tags!//

“Hawks is assigned to infiltrate the League of Villains in order to expose them. Hawks usually never fails a mission, but Keigo usually never falls in love, either.A story of how Hawks falls from grace to become a villain, because hero society has failed them all.

OR

5 times they're not in a relationship and 1 time they are.“

-- you know those fics you say “one more chapter” and it’s 3AM

Completed

it caught spark in your eyes by  youareoldfatherwilliam

//Mature - Implied Sexual Content//

“Keigo’s quirk is powerful, but sometimes it comes with unintended side effects.

Or: A 5 + 1 fic of five times the more…instinctively bird-like parts of Keigo’s quirk took over accidentally during his relationship with Dabi, and one time it happened entirely on purpose.“

-- I was screaming about this particular fic on twt the other day pls give it a read if you can it’s so so so good! Any fic that has Hawks with bird traits has a special place on my heart

Completed

The Others by  threesipsmore

//Mature - 2 sexual scenes, nothing too explicit but they’re there//

“"Skeptic's starting to think he’s more important than me,” Toga sneers, an acidic edge to her voice. “Making decisions on his own, sending out birdie without even talking to me first.”

She’d simply acquiesced to cooperating with Skeptic, but from day one the complaints had never stopped. In this tiny room layered with sushi and cakes, Dabi was forced to listen to her whining.”

-- You go birb, you get that man

Completed

Equivalent Exchange by  inexchangeforyoursoul

“Keigo blinks the blurry oblivion away from his eyes, although some part of it is oddly stubborn and to stay indefinitely. There's three things he's certain of: first, he’s alive. Second, just by looking at the bed and windows he can tell this is no villain hospital or torture room. Third: something feels wrong. Very wrong.

The silence… is deafening.

xxx

To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

If so, what of a bird that has lost its wings?”

-- i had so many feelings reading i can’t physically explain them to you also PINK HAIR DABI PINK HAIR DABI

Completed

dabi's 5-step guide to being a better parent than endeavor by  twinkfrankenstein (orphan_account)

“A little voice inside his head whispered spitefully about how this was no place for a child, and how he was making a mistake and would only traumatize the kid, yada yada. He responded with an equally spiteful-

“Fuck off, its not like I planned to do arson today.”

(or: how Dabi becomes a good dad just to spite his own, realizes he kinda sorta maybe likes Hawks for realsies, begrudgingly admits the League cares and finally comes to terms with his protective side. Not in that order.)“

-- this legit made me laught out loud idk what else tell you

Completed

The Todoroki In-Laws by  aphrodaisyacs

“Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings.

Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but…Honestly, where’s the fun in that?”

-- this is not dabihawks focused but it’s so funny pls

Completed

With Being Petty Comes Consequences by  CursedUndead

“"When we were saying fuck pro heroes, I didn't think you literally meant FUCK them," Tomura grumbles, kicking over an empty beer can.

"Pretty judgmental for someone fucking a pro twice their age," Touya says.

Tomura squints, and says, "Ten years is not twice my age."

Or, after spending Enji's money, Touya is forced to babysit for the number 2 hero to pay him back. Touya makes it his life's mission to fuck his new boss.”

-- this only has 4 chapters but i know it’s going to be one of my faves

On-going

The Truth series by  AmethystUnarmed

-- Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk and starts to be actually free by the power of love, friendship and a bit of crime <3

The last entry is on-going

and if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot by  sincerelysamedt

“Hawks finds a bento box in his messenger bag and almost cries.

"Is that a loving wife bento?"“

-- please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS ONE /sobbing noises/

Completed

steal your heart by  darlingest

//Mature//

“When infamous thief Hawks announces that he is going to steal the heart of Endeavor's son, everyone expects him to prey on Shoto Todoroki - nobody suspects Touya to be the actual target.“

-- Villain Hawks and civilian Dabi are my guilty pleasure and this one it’s so soft too i’m- djsahfdjkfhadf

Completed

darling, thank god it’s this universe we’re in (and you can annoy me as much as you please) by  juurensha

“ Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as red as the hair of her eldest son. “

-- This was one of the first dabihawks fics i ever read and, to this day, i come back to it when i feel i need the extra burst in happy feelings and check their other works too! Honestly all are such a good fucking read

Completed

#ask #faerie-fang #this is not even half the fics i love #i can always show more but i was afraid of bugging again djsfhadf #honestly check ALL this authors you're not gonna regret it #fic rec #dabihawks

[rommahh]

I Carry It In My Heart

Word count: 4.7k

I thank everyone who read part one, it meant so much to me to see the love it got. Heres part two, please comment, like reblog, whatever I just wanna hear your thoughts! I also plan on making smaller blurbs of this universe with fratrry. I have plans for a graduation, wedding, babies, and other random blurbs of their lives. Much love, R.

Part One

Y/N’s drive home was quiet. She drove the whole six hours just listening to her thoughts. Thinking about the future of a relationship she had so much hope for. She wanted this relationship so much and seeing Harry before leaving campus reassured her that maybe just maybe, Harry wanted what she wanted too.

Six hours went by and Y/N finally arrived home. She lived on a very secluded farm with her mom, dad, grandparents, uncles/aunts, and cousins. Everyone lived along the property making the family tight knit. She was scared to reveal to her family that she wasn't with Harry anymore. He grew to be a very important part of the family. Everyone saw how beautiful Harry and Y/N’s relationship was. They could see how close they were and how they just shared a really unique connection with each other.

Getting out of her car, Y/N took a moment to stretch her legs before she was bombarded by her family. Hands were pulling her into hugs, kisses were being planted on her cheek- she never felt more loved in her life. She didn't realize she was crying until her mom held her face between her hands wiping the free flowing tears from the young girl's face. The family left the mother and daughter alone to reconnect.

“What is wrong with my baby?” Her mother cradled her face as she sobs.

“Mommy, we broke up. Me and Harry broke up and- and i'm exhausted from exams, and i'm so hungry!” Y/N’s hysterics caused her mom to chuckle. She helped grab Y/N’s belongings from the trunk and then led the girl into the house. As Y/N wiped the tears from her face she hiccuped trying to catch her breath.

With her bags in her room, Y/N sat at the kitchen table as her mom placed a bowl of chilli in front of her. Her mom sat beside her rubbing her back encouraging her to eat and regain some energy.

“Tell me what happened hon?”

“We got in a really bad fight after he kissed another girl. He basically said that I was overreacting. I tried to tell him that my reaction was merely based on how I feel about our future relationship. He laughed at me and said he wasn't thinking about the future of our relationship. Tha-” She choked up again “-that this wasn't a future he wanted.” Y/N sniffled into her food as her mom guided food into her mouth.

“It's ok hon. Let me tell you something, you and Harry will be fine. It may seem like this is the end but it's not. You will get through this because you guys were made for each other. From the way that you guys know each other's thoughts to the way that you both can read each other with no problem- you two were meant to be. Me and your pa went through our own issues but look at us now. We are solid. Baby, you two will be solid.” Y/N’s mom smoothed the hair on her daughter's head smiling at the young girl.

Y/N thought about her mothers words. Hearing her mom say those things about her relationship made her feel a little better. Her mother kissed her on the forehead and told her to get to bed and get some rest.

Y/N walked into her room and immediately her eyes were drawn to the gift Harry got her. She didn't remember bringing it in her room but there it sat in all of its glory. The gold wrapping paper on the box contrasted with the dark wood of her dresser. The envelope adorned with Harry's name written in cursive.

She was tempted to open the gift but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to even touch the gift. She kept thinking about the moment she shared with Harry in the parking lot. How he made time to see her before she left. How he found time to get her a gift and bring it to her. She grabbed the gift, shoving it into the top drawer of the dresser.

As Y/N lied in her bed that night, wrapped in a blanket Harry bought her, she couldn't run her mind off. She wanted to be with Harry but she was scared of his lack of commitment. She doesn't understand his sudden lack of commitment. She mentioned marrying him in the future and he freaked out on her. It hurt to know that in a quick second, he could change his mind.

Closing her eyes she went to sleep thinking about her brown haired, green eyed boy whose heart she carries with her at all times.

Y/N felt better to be back home on the farm. This semester had mentally drained her to the point where she felt like she had nothing within herself to give. She sat in the barn behind the house watching the chickens run around as she remembered the first time Harry visited the farm.

“No Harry, you just grab them from underneath. Like cup your hands and grab!” Y/N hollered to her boyfriend as he chased chickens around trying to grab them. He couldnt get his hands on a chicken but hearing his girlfriend laughing made it all worth it. Here he was dressed in overalls while chasing chickens.

“Bubs, I cant get one.” He pouted walking back over to Y/N.

“You don't have the talent I have.” She walked over to a resting chicken and grabbed it with ease. Tucking the chicken under her arm, she scratched the top of the chicken's head and walked over to where Harry was standing in shock.

“You are something else!” She set the chicken down, watching it run away. Harry grabbed her arm, twirling her around to face him. She placed her arms atop his shoulders, fingers playing with the small curls of his head. His arms wrapped around her waist squeezing her close to him.

It was a beautiful morning on the farm. Fall break on full blast and instead of Harry going back home, he just decided to come see where his girlfriend lives. They were sophomores now, entering almost a year of dating. This had been one the best almost years of their lives.

Harry placed a gentle kiss on her plush lips. She smiled, kissing him back.

“I love you Harry.” She said, staring at his eyes. His eyes opened wide. He stepped back from her and then started jumping up and down out of happiness. He threw her over his shoulder and started running through the blades of grass like the chickens he was trying to catch earlier. Setting her down on her feet she giggled at his antics.

“I cant believe you just said that. Im so fucking in love with you. So in love.” He said squishing her cheeks together, puckering her lips and smacking a wet kiss on her mouth.

“Ew Harry gross.” she giggled as he continued to place wet slobbery kisses over her face.

Y/N was so happy to bring Harry home. She wanted to show her family this new boy that had completely captivated her heart. He fit in with her family perfectly, making jokes, helping with dinner, playing with the little ones. He was family.

Walking into the house, she was greeted with the familiar smell of her grandma's famous peach crumble. She went into the kitchen sitting at one the stools watching her grandmother whip around the kitchen baking a slew of desserts.

“Hey lovebug, you go out and see your chickies?” Her grandmother asked, never losing focus of what she was doing.

“I did, they are all growing up so quick.” Y/N laid her head down on the table staring out of the window. Head fuzzy with anxiety and muddled thoughts.

“What happened to Harry?” Y/N’s head popped off of the table as she looked at her grandmother in confusion.

“How did you know something was up?”

“You're my grandbaby, I know everything about you. You've also been moping around my house so I knew something had happened.” She took a bowl down from the cabinets scooping a hot piece of peach crumble in the bowl and placed it in front of Y/N.

“Yeah, me and Harry split up. We just had a bad fight that put us in a weird place. He cheated on me.” She scooped crumble into her mouth trying to distract herself from her sadness.

“Oh love bug. I'm really sorry about that. Did you guys talk at all?” Placing a pie in the oven, her grandmother took a seat next to Y/N stealing a bite of crumble.

“He actually said goodbye to me before I came home. He gave me a Christmas gift too. I don't know, we didn't really say much. I miss him though. He was drunk when he cheated on me, which isn't an excuse but I think he was taken advantage of. I'm not mad about him cheating on me. I was mad at how he reacted to me. Like I was in the wrong for thinking about our relationship in the long run.”

“I understand. Can I be honest with you?” Crumble gone now, Y/N turned her body to face her grandmother. She shook her head to say yes. “You and Harry will be ok. It feels like the end right now but it isn't. It really isn't. I watched you two all of that one break and I saw a resilient couple who were going to go so far. This bump in the road can be fixed. Baby that boy looks at you like you are the whole universe.” You blushed at her words.

“What do I do then?”

“Well, I think you guys should enjoy this break. Take the time to reflect on what your relationship was and what it could be. Harrys going to go home and be surrounded by family as you are now, just let yourself enjoy that time. When he comes back for school, meet up again and talk. You both are adults- you know what to do.” You took in your grandmother's words. She always knew what to say.

“Why is it that you and mom always give me advice over food?” You laughed as she winked at you kissing you on the cheek.

“Food always makes people listen.”

When Wednesday finally arrived, Harry couldn't have been happier to go home. He had been on campus all alone and just feeling like shit. Maybe it was karma for how he treated Y/N. His heart felt hollow and even though he saw her before she left campus, he knew they still weren't ok. He wanted nothing more than to just be ok with his girl. The girl who makes him feel happiest on his darkest days. He doesn't understand how he would have ruined something so perfect.

At his gate at the airport, Harry sat staring at his phone waiting for something. He didn't know what he was waiting for. He didn't deserve anything, especially because of how bad he messed up. He didn't plan on seeing Y/N last friday before she left but he didn't want to go home without seeing her face. He also spent all night writing her a letter that laid down his thoughts. He also wanted to give her a gift. He bought it at the beginning of the semester back home. He knew it was perfect for her the second he saw it.

“Welcome to British Airways, we are now boarding all priority passengers.”

Harry stood up collecting his carry on and started walking to the line forming in front of the gate. He checked his phone again. Nothing.

As the line moved forward. He checked again. Nothing.

He scanned his ticket. Checked again. Nothing.

Situating himself in his seat on the airplane, Harry didn't even bother checking his phone knowing nothing was there. He clicked his seatbelt over his lap and opened the window beside him to look outside.

His phone buzzing pulled him out of his thoughts. His breath hitched, heart lurching. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he turned the screen on.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

Have a safe flight Harry

Harry's eyes welled with tears.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

Thank you, love. It means a lot.

To: Harry, from: Bubs<3

I miss you Harry

A few of those tears tipped over the edge now rolling down his face.

To: Bubs<3, from: Harry

I miss you so much baby

And that was it. But that was all Harry needed to feel something again.

Y/N didn't know what compelled her to text Harry. She knows her grandmother told her to take some time but she just wanted to reach out to him. She wanted him to know that she was still here. She was still thinking of him and still wanted this. Whatever ‘this’ was.

Christmas eve came quickly, Y/N’s house filled with family members, food, and little children running around wreaking havoc. Y/N was sitting in her room staring at the drawer where the gift from Harry hid. She was scared to open it. Pushing that fear to the side, she walked over the drawer opening it and grabbing the box and envelope. She put the gift in her purse before grabbing her keys. She couldn't open the gift here. She needed to go somewhere quiet.

She said a quick goodbye to her parents and left the house in a hurry. She found herself parked at a small store's parking lot a few miles away from her house. She kept the car on for the heat but turned off the christmas tunes she had playing low in the background.

She opened her purse to pull the envelope out. Carefully ripping the top of the envelope she pulled out a stack of items. In the envelope were four photos and a handwritten letter. She saved the letter for last.

The first photo was of Harry and Y/N sitting on a bean bag in the library. Harry had the camera outstretched above their heads, Y/N with her face buried in a text book. This was taken in their first year during their first exam week. They were not exclusive yet but their friends knew how close they were- there was no one coming between the two of them. Y/N had been so stressed that week so Harry invited her to the library to eat lunch and study together. He helped her through some science homework which helped dramatically on her exam.

The second image was of Harry and Y/N at their favorite restaurant off campus. It was taken during their sophomore year during their one year anniversary. It was the week before spring break and they had just finished a round of midterms. Harry surprised her with a trip to her favorite restaurant. The waiter offered to take the picture because of how adorable the couple looked. In the picture they were holding hands, smiling wide to the camera. Y/N eyes welled up at how happy they looked together.

The third pic was taken during an event on campus at the end of their freshman year. It was a piece and love festival where different clubs hosted fun activities in hopes of promoting unity on campus. In the picture, Harry and Y/N were holding up braided string bracelets with beads that said their partners name. They always wore those bracelets after that day. Y/N looked down at the slightly faded bracelet on her wrist. Harrys name on her wrist reminding her that he is always with her no matter what. Cheesy as it may be but the cheap string with plastic was something she would never part with.

The last picture was taken on Y/N’s farm. It was by the barn where Harry and Y/N were chasing chickens. It was taken from a high angle from afar. Harry had her on his shoulder and they were both visibly laughing. They had matching overalls with embroidery done by Y/N's aunt. On the back of the picture, Y/N could recognize Harry's handwriting as it said, “Your Grandma emailed me this picture when we got back to campus. She said that she couldn't help but take the picture when she saw how happy you looked.” Y/N laughed at his sloppy handwriting and her grandmother's words.

The last piece of the envelope was the letter. Y/N slowly unraveled the folded paper, smoothing out the crinkles. Taking a deep breath she began reading.

Y/N,

In my eyes, our future is filled with love. I see us buying a small house in your home town because I know you love home. I know you also said you may want to live in a city so if our plans were to change, I could see us living in a small apartment, decorated by you of course, with bookshelves that towered to the ceiling and many plush blankets littering the rooms. I see us working hard during the day and enjoying each other during the evening when we come home. I see bubble baths and fun new dinner recipes. I see me bringing you flowers to brighten your day from a long day of work. I see us travelling to all of the places you have pinned on your “for the future” pinterest board. I see us having a small wedding, my family, your family, some friends and that's it. I'd let you do whatever you like for the wedding because I want to see you happy.

I see little ones. Direct copies of you and me running around in the backyard as we try chasing them and tickling them. I see bedtime stories and fun days at the park. Picnics in the meadow and swimming in the lake. Catching chickens and rough housing with the goats. Pasta sauce around the mouth after a good meal. Frozen yogurt with all of the toppings. I see everything with you. There's not a moment where I don't see us together. I think about our graduation and where we will be after graduation.

I see a future with you and I was an ass to say otherwise. You are everything to me. I should be doing more for our relationship like I used to. I want to take you out on more dates and shower you in gifts because you deserve it. I love you so much. Please don't give up on me and all of the memories we've created. I want it all with you.

School has been hurting me pretty bad and I took it out on you. I cheated on you because I was too drunk to think properly. I hurt the only person whose opinion I hold higher than anyone else's. We built a beautiful relationship of trust and boundaries and I ruined it for no reason. I want to do better. Please let me show you that I can do better.

I found this poem that reminded me of you. I know you like poems and this poem speaks for me wholly.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Have a lovely break and I hope to be able to see you after.

Love Harry.

His letter left the girl speechless. He said everything she wanted to hear. Looking at her phone she checked the time.

7:36 pm

Its about 12 am in london.

Without a second thought she opened Harry's facetime profile and pressed the call button.

Ring. Ring. Ri-

“Love? Are you alright? Did something happen?” Harry was quick to answer, looking half awake and flustered. Y/N broke down in tears immediately. “Y/N are you ok, baby?”

“Harry.” She wailed. It was embarrassing but all of the pent emotion she was holding in finally breached. She couldn't stop crying. Harry sat up from his laying down position in bed holding the phone closer to his face to inspect his girl.

“It's ok bubs, whatever it is, it's ok. I promise it's ok.” Harry tries consoling the girl. Her tears reduced to small sniffles.

“I read your letter Harry. It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I want it all with you too. I've always wanted it with you. Since the day we met Harry.” He let out a watery laugh so overwhelmed with emotions. She wiped her face of tears looking back at the letter next to her.

“Y/N I love you so much. I do. I know I'm not that good at expressing my emotions but I do want a future with you. I'm hurting knowing I hurt the best thing that's ever happened to me.” His tears continued to flow freely.

“It's ok Harry. I'm not mad anymore. I'm not hurt either I promise. I think I was more upset that we were done. I don't want us to be done. I really don't.”

“I don't want us to be done either. I really want to marry you. Maybe not right now but in time I wanna get married.” He paused, wiping his face. “I wanna get married on your farm, maybe put the chickies in little tuxedos.” She giggled at his proposition.

“They would hate you even more if you did that.” They shared a laugh and then some silence. “I guess it's technically Christmas over there huh? Well Merry Christmas H.”

“It is christmas isn't it? Merry Christmas bubs. Did you open the box?” She grabbed the box next to her to show Harry shaking her head. She unwrapped the paper and revealed a box with a logo she wasn't familiar with.

“What's this?” He encouraged her to keep opening the gift. Lifting the top of the box she let out a loud gasp upon seeing a beautiful gold bracelet sitting on a satin pillow. She placed her phone on the phone stand on her dashboard so she could have both hands to look at the bracelet. The bracelet was gold and thin with a nameplate in the middle. Engraved on the nameplate was Harry's name.

“You went silent on me...Do you like it?” Y/N couldn't stop looking at the bracelet in her hand.

“Harry...It's gorgeous. It's so gorgeous.” She whispered. She slid the perfectly fit bracelet on her hand watching it fall in front of her handmade bracelet. The two bracelets adorned her wrist perfectly. “I love you so much H.”

“I love you too, I do. I can't wait to see you in person and talk.” He replies with his heart clenching in a good way, watching his girl smile happily at her gift.

“Om bubby, I'll let you go to sleep. I love you, spend time with your family and then come back to me as the same Harry I fell in love with.” He smiled, whispering goodnight and hanging up.

Going home that night, Y/N’s family watched her come back into the house walking lighter on her feet and looking happier than she did when she came home from school. She showed her bracelet off to her parents as her grandmother made her a plate of food. She smiled at everyone and talked the whole night. Her grandmother watched from afar feeling her heart fill with joy at her granddaughter's happiness.

As Christmas break went on Harry and Y/N continued to keep their relationship moving slowly. Only calling each other once a day and giving each the much needed space to heal with their respective family. Y/N facetimed him on christmas giving him a youtuber esq. Haul of all of her gifts while he laughed at her silliness. He did the same thing with half the enthusiasm.

As move in day approached, Y/N felt herself becoming worried about her relationship. She worried that when she saw Harry, their relationship would slowly deteriorate. Little did she know that she had no reason to be so afraid. Harry was on his flight back to school ready to hug and hold his girl. He was ready to reunite and be the couple they used to be. He was ready to be a better partner for his girl.

“Alright girly, looks like we got everything squished in your car. Are you sure you've got everything?” Y/N’s mom asked sarcastically. Y/N huffed shoving another bag in the passenger seat.

“Yup that should be it.”

“Ok, well you give me a hug and get going.” Y/N rushed into her mom's arms. Her mom kissed her on the forehead and left Y/N and her grandmother to talk on their own.

“Bye grandma, i'm going to miss you.” Her grandmother held her arms tight.

“You get back to campus and see that boy ok? You go and be in love. You too are old enough to know what you want and this relationship is something you obviously both want.”

Kissing her grandma goodbye, she got in her car and started her drive back to school.

It only took Y/N one trip from her car to her dorm to unload all of her belongings. She was able to snag one of the big trolleys to push her things inside. She watched as friends reunited, she even said hi to a few of her friends but her mind was set on one person. She grabbed her wallet and phone from her dorm and left quickly on a journey to get to Harry’s frat.

The air was cool but Y/N felt warm from how quickly she was booking it to Harry. Harry, just like Y/N, immediately left his room to see Y/N. Having not seen her in a month and some of exam week- he couldn't wait to see her. Harry saw Y/N’s familiar face walking down the sidewalk of his frat and he stopped in his tracks. She smiled her bright, beautiful smile before running over to where he stood. Her arms hooked around his neck as his arms adjusted around her waist. He stumbled a bit from the force of her hug but stood his ground nonetheless.

She held him tight, legs bound around his waist, a few stray tears falling from her eyes. He held her just as tightly, hands tightly holding her thighs and back.

“Hi bubby.” She said in his ear, face burrowed in his neck. He set her down and reached for her face.

‘Hi baby.” She blushed at his nickname. They looked into each other's eyes and time froze like it always did between them. Y/N broke theri moment by pulling his face to hers. They kissed like they hadnt kissed in years. To them the time they spent away from each other felt like years. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces. Pulling apart, Harry stared down at his heart, tears begging to be free. He opened his mouth to say something and she stopped him.

“It's ok Harry. My baby, it's ok. We are ok.”

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

Taglist: marlananicole17

#harry styles x reader #frat!harry #i carry your heart #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #college!harry #harry styles smut #fratrry #boyfriend!harry

[foreficfandom]

Mystic Messenger - First Time With MC (Lemon)

(Author’s notes: These scenarios do NOT assume a gender for MC, but do write the boys penetrating the reader.)

– Zen –

This isn’t his first rodeo, but he’s not exactly experienced; he’s had, like, one-and-a-half relationships before you. It’s been years since he’s had partnered sex.

And he’s never had sex-ed, either, so his knowledge of the Nasty is kinda lacking. He thinks he can re-use condoms as long as he keeps it on, he believes coconut oil can be used with latex, he thinks birth control pills act as a spermicide, and so on.

You and him initiate sex pretty early on in the relationship, perhaps merely a few days after the RFA party. He’s very romantic about it, too, planning a whole day in advance with rose petals on the bed and scented candles dotting his room. But in the middle of making out, you ask if he’s clean, and he pulls back, confused. “... I think? I mean, I haven’t been with anybody in years, so ...”

Turns out he’s never been tested for STDs. He’s almost offended when you bring it up, like you’re insinuating he’s been cheating on you. You have to explain that getting tested is just what everyone does before having sex with someone for the first time. 

So ... he’s not tested. “Can we ... still do it?” He’s blushing like crazy now, embarrassed he’s so behind on the know-how when he’s the one who wanted this in the first place. 

Partnered sex can still be relatively safe even when an individual’s not been tested, so long as you use lots of protection. But depending on who you are, you might say no, just to be 100% safe. Either way, Zen’s disappointed - not in you, no way, but in himself. God, he’s been looking forward to this night for so long, and he fucked it up by being stupid. He stews in his thoughts silently for a while, and you can tell he’s feeling down so you cuddle him close to have a good long chat about sex, relationships, and communication. Afterwards, he feels much less insecure. The two of you take the rose petals and candles to the bathroom to enjoy your first romantic bath together, instead.

Two days later, he bounces back from the clinic with a negative on every test imaginable. It’s finally time to dig in, and go ham he does, passionately wrapping you into his arms while thrusting deep and slow, trying to have as much skin contact at all times. Oh, god, he loves you, and he’ll spend the whole night proving it.

(Except he definitely couldn’t last the whole night. Your first time having sex was a mere two turns before he clonked out. He’s still embarrassed about that.)

– Yoosung –

It’s his first time having sex, and he’s really nervous. He wants it, wants you badly, but oh my god what if he messes up? What if he farts? Or scratches you in the face? Or he thrusts weird and hurts you and you start bleeding or something?? Dear lord help him

He considers proposing sex like, eight different times. He’s always chickened out, just kissing you on the doorstep before saying goodbye, or letting you leave his dorm without offering to stay the night. It doesn’t help that his dorm is tiny, he’s got a twin bed barely big enough for him. And anybody passing by the door would hear what’s going on inside clear as day. Take his word on that.

He had spent several hours worth on his laptop, doing research on ‘how to have sex for the first time’. He’s got his list of positions to try, how to minimize pain and discomfort, etc, all memorized.. He eventually goes out to get condoms and lube, making sure to use the self-checkout. 

You and him are hanging out in his dorm after a date, and he wasn’t even planning to suck it up and ask you, but you saw the condoms in the shopping bag he forgot to stow away, and you asked him gently, “do you want to be intimate with me, Yoosung?”

He blushes like crazy, you could swear you saw steam lines radiating from his face. But you take his hand in encouragement and he nods eagerly, looking anywhere else but your eyes. “I - I really want this, MC. I’ve been thinking about this for so long ...”

You can tell he’s nervous. The two of you sit on his bed and talk explicitly about what he wants, how you should proceed, what lines to avoid, and lots of other important details. A safeword is confirmed; ‘server maintenance’. He feels much more confident. 

The two of you begin by just kissing on his bed, he slowly dares to feel up your shirt and eventually the clothes come off bit by bit. His body is lean and soft, and he’s loud, too. Just nipping at his pillowy tummy makes him cry out. 

You give him oral, and he’s twisting around, grabbing at pillows and sheets like he’s tumbling down a cliff. He comes without warning and collapses, wrung out and overwhelmed with pleasure. 

Some cuddling afterwards, and then he’s hard again and kissing at your neck. He asks you to ride him, and when you do, he’s sobbing without shame and grabbing hard at your hips.

Some time afterwards, when you and Yoosung are trying to cuddle on his bed without either of you toppling off, he remembers just how loud he’s been and dreads facing anybody in the building tomorrow. You just laugh and tuck him into the bedsheets.

– Jaehee –

She shyly shows off a beautiful new set of lingerie as her way of asking to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. And she’s a real bombshell in it. It’s sometimes easy to forget that Jaehee’s got a bod underneath her suit/cafe uniform.

Unlike certain younger boys, Jaehee didn’t feel the need to agonize over this night over a period of several months. This is a natural progression for her. Once things feel ready between the two of you, it’s natural that the question eventually comes up.

She first shows you her new lingerie in its original packaging, and waits to hear your ‘yes’. Then, it’s time to hop into the bathtub for a long soak and thorough wash before putting it on.

She also gets new toys. Entire shopping bags and shipping boxes filled with insertables, vibrators, pumps, impacts, (and also the supplies needed to maintain them). She didn’t come out and show you these all at once, she’d probably die of embarrassment if she did. But she had them all unwrapped, clean, tested, and ready to use in a discreet box.

You and she actually end up making out on the couch rather than the bedroom. She’s sitting in your lap dressed in her lingerie, you’re fully clothed, and things get so heated the two of you decide to go at it right there.

She’s surprisingly wild. She keeps as much of her lingerie on as possible, even while you’re knuckle deep or pelvis-to-pelvis. The floor is eventually lined with toys as one is used after the other. And she loves taking the initiative with a gentle but firm hand, directing the positions one after the other, or deciding what toy to be used where, and for how long.

A round on the couch, and Jaehee cools down long enough to freak out about staining the upholstery, so she ushers you into the bedroom while she busts out the Lysol. 

After she cleans up, she joins you on the bed for some belated cuddling, and perhaps a second round. Or three.

And it’s actually in the middle of the day, not during the night, so the two of you are completely worn out by dinnertime. Food is takeout, and there’s a lot of it because you need to replenish all that energy.  

Jaehee doesn’t get blushy until you feed her a bite of dessert. It’s cute how confident she is when it comes to sex, but shy about small acts of intimacy. 

– Jumin –

He’s not a virgin, (not that it’s any of your business, Luciel), he had sex with a random girl back in college just to see what the fuss was about, and nothing else since then.

Jumin’s a conservative guy. “Liberalism can only flourish with a good foundation of conservatism.” He believes unmarried couples shouldn’t live together. Of course he’s not gonna be fond of having sex before tying the knot.

It’s not like he rushed the engagement for that reason, but if he was perfectly honest, he did wake up in a cold sweat at 3am when he remembered that this meant the two of you would be intimate very soon. 

Jumin’s got that reputation for being some d/s sex-mad sadist daddy, but that’s not the full picture. You might be able to get him into that specific mood after the two of you establish your relationship more. But for the first few times, it’s all vanilla.

It takes a long while before the wedding actually happens. And, no, Jumin’s not gonna really want to have sex for that entire period. Sure, he’s excited about it, but it’s not a driving, burning need. You, on the other hand, might say differently. 

So if you don’t want to wait four to five months, you’re gonna have to breach the topic yourself. And he’ll be torn - on one hand, he rationally realizes that it’s completely harmless to have consensual sex without martial ties. But he also believes in that supposed virtue of being abstinent until marriage. He also liked the romance of waiting. It’d make the moment more special for him.

Either way, he’s excited. The bed’s furnished with fresh sheets, the lights are dimmed, and there’s five dozen roses in crystal vases throughout the bedroom. 

It’ll start with wine while sitting on the bed - if you don’t drink, you have a glass of something you prefer while he’s sipping on some $12,000 vintage - and he drills a hole in your face with his loving gaze while singing your virtues. He wants you naked before he is, so after some kissing you’ll be nude on the sheets while he finally takes his clothes off.

Jumin has no idea what sex is ‘supposed’ to look like, which is both good and bad - you can tell him to do anything, and he’s not gonna worry about feeling awkward or stupid. But he also needs to be told to do anything. 

If you want him to go faster, or use more tongue, you have to tell him. He’s not gonna take the initiative. If you want him to switch positions, you need to describe exactly how you want to position yourselves. It’s a mixed blessing.

The first round goes quite a while because Jumin was taking it slow. There’s a second round where he gets more adventurous, and maybe a third round depending on how you feel. 

The next morning, the chef’s been hired to prepare a special breakfast, and you can tell that they know. Jumin doesn’t care. He just smiles all day.

– Saeyoung –

He actually was a virgin, which was kinda a surprise. His agent job never require any sort of sex-related work, thank god, and it’s not like he ever earned the attention of anybody else before this point. 

If an agency job had enough time to have sex while in the field, then that meant the job was going down the dumps fast. And whenever Agent 707 was involved, a job never nosedived that far.

It’s (semi) canon that Saeyoung asked to be intimate during the after-ending, while on the search for his brother. It was the night before all your plans would come to fruition, and he didn’t know he would come back alive. “I want to leave evidence on you that I existed.”

But it’s ALSO canon that in Saeyoung’s ‘dark chocolate’ Valentine’s Day ending, he asks to ‘take the relationship to the next level’. Which implies that the two of you haven’t had sex yet. 

So what’s the dealio? Basically, Saeyoung wanted to have sex with you that night in the cabin, and after some kissing, you realized that you (1) didn’t have protection, (2) neither of you have been tested recently, and (3) your current emotional states weren’t ideal for sex, especially since Saeyoung was a virgin. He left a lot of hickies on your neck instead, and the two of you held each other close the whole night. 

By the time Valentine’s Day rolled around, it had been two months since Saeran was rescued and Saeyoung was feeling a lot happier. You made it to the end of the scavenger hunt to find an amorous redhead that was ~prepared~ this time. An entire shopping bag full of prophylactics, lube, band-aids, water bottles, and everything. 

He managed to fake a confident persona up until he undressed you fully, then he found himself blushing like crazy when you undressed him in turn. Damn, he really was hiding muscles underneath that hoodie. His arms were woven cable, and underneath his pudge you could feel shapely abs. 

He asked to be on top, you complied, rolling over and allowing him to explore your body with his hands and mouth. It took three tries to enter you, because without his glasses, you were a bit of a blurry blob. But once he was in, he went at it. Maybe even a bit too enthusiastic for the first few thrusts, he was just running on some animalistic instinct he didn’t know he had. 

Two minutes later, he was blindsided by a surprise orgasm. Embarrassed, he rolled off of you and buried his face into the sheets. You had to stroke his hair soothingly for ten minutes before he would look you in the face. 

Saeyoung’s first evening of sex had one ‘disastrous’ first try, then a much better second run, and then after dinner there was a third ... and also .5 a prance while in the shower.  

– Saeran –

You’re his first sexual partner, but more than that, today also marks a big step in his self-confidence. He’s cashing in his newfound tolerance for his body and constitution. Saeran spent most of his life hating his ‘weak’ health and thinking anybody’d be repulsed by him. He wouldn’t have sex if he didn’t believe differently. 

So it’s probably several months - perhaps years - into your relationship that he even brings up having sex. Even though he may be ready, he’s still nervous and shy and unsure about how to proceed. 

Before the big night, he spends several minutes in front of the mirror, looking at his body. He’s gained weight and a new color to his skin thanks to his healthier lifestyle, and there’s this confidence to his posture that wasn’t there before. A sparkle in his eye. It’s incredible how far he’s come from hating every inch of himself. He smiles.

He prepares one of his Patented Saeran’s Romantic Dinners, complete with candlelight and ambient music. The two of you have done this several times before, but this time there’s an electricity in the air ‘cause of what’s to come. You notice that the food has no garlic, or other strong smells. Saeran’s more cunning than he looks. 

As dessert finishes up, he gets more quiet, until the conversation dies down and there’s nothing for it; he takes a deep breath and says, “....Sh-shall we go to bed?” Like this hasn’t been planned weeks in advance. The two of you walk hand-in-hand to the bedroom, where there’s even more candles and another stereo playing soft music, and you picture Saeran putting together a ‘having sex for the first time’ playlist.

You begin by kissing Saeran lying beneath you, but he stops you with a hand on your shoulder and asks to switch positions, because he doesn’t like the feeling of you hovering over him. It’s another mark of his progress that he asks for adjustments. 

Things progress slowly. Saeran feels out what makes him feel anxious, and what makes him feel good. The two of you end up side-by-side as he takes you, facing each other with your legs wrapped around his waist. Very intimate. Very sweet. He loves threading his fingers through your hair, and he mewls every time you fondle his ears. 

His health is still shaky, so he only has the stamina for one round before he needs to rest. He all but demands you inch as close as possible so he falls asleep holding you tight. When he wakes up the next morning, he’s got a 1000-watt smile. 

– Jihyun –

Out of the entire wacky cast of Mystic Messenger boys, Jihyun’s the only actual experienced one. You don’t have to tell him that a single pack of five condoms is waaayy too little, you don’t have to explain what dental dams are, or worry about him using oil-based lube on accident, and he’s the only one who actually showers thoroughly beforehand. 

It begins with your typical night of cuddling-and-kissing, then Jihyun says he’s clean and he’s got a bedside cabinet full of supplies. He gently holds your hand and asks, ‘”if you’d like …? We could … if you’re comfortable. If you’d have me.” He’s blushing, but he’s confident. 

Of course, even if you’re experienced, the first time with anybody is gonna be awkward. And Jihyun’s a surprisingly big guy to maneuver. There’s a lot of accidental elbowing, bonking of the heads, kneeling on sensitive bits, and little scrapes. His long limbs seemingly end up everywhere on the bed, and it’s like you’re playing twister. 

Mistakes just make him laugh. You trip over his outstretched forearm and face plant into his shoulder, and he just chuckles and pulls you into another kiss. 

He’s just so soft and loving. ‘Cause to Jihyun, it’s about ~making love~. He wants to go slow, looking into your eyes, cradling your head and burying his face into the crook of your neck. 

Tries to get you off first, either through oral or otherwise. He’s not a big fan of any positions that turn you away from him, it’s just too rough and aggressive. He’d rather carry you on his shoulders before he prefers doggy style. 

Checks in with you constantly, asks what you like and where you like to be touched. Tries to get you to literally guide his hands. In turn, he asks you to please, touch his legs, his thighs ... yes, kiss me there - 

For your first time, he’d rather have a one-two long sessions than multiple quick ones. He believes sex is one of the most intimate methods of non-verbal communication, and the longer you go in one sitting, the more is passed between the two of you. 

He’s never used toys in his life. If you decide to pull one out for your first time, he’s gonna blush like crazy and actually decline. He wants the first night to be 'organic’. And he’s so driven towards that romantic face-to-face lovemaking, he won’t go too hard or fast, even if you’re begging him. 

After the sex, he wraps you up in a cozy blanket before fetching some hot tea and fresh fruit. Then there’s several minutes spent reviewing how things went, what things worked well, or how they can improved. He catalogues it all for later. 

He rarely wants to fall asleep right after sex, so you might pass out peacefully, but he’s gonna stay awake, just gazing at you for a while. 

#mysme zen #Yoosung Kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun kim #mystic messenger #mystic messenger imagines #lemon

[maidskeppy]

So I saw all this Skeppy jail stuff, and I decided to write something about it... enjoy!

Warnings: angst, spoilers, possible lore inaccuracies

"Oh man, he’s gonna be pissed if he sees this…”

Skeppy muttered to himself while digging up sand at a desperate pace. Not for the first time, and probably not for the last, he had let a creeper into his and Bad’s home, which had decided to detonate while standing right against the front wall. While most of the wall was fine, the window had completely shattered, and the floor had a huge hole in it. Skeppy could fix it all, but he wasn’t sure how much time he had before Bad got home.

He almost had enough sand when he heard fast-paced steps approaching. Bracing himself for another lecture about being careful, he turned around to face…

Dream?

Skeppy wasn’t even sure when they had last met up. He knew Dream had been busy, with important-sounding things like war and politics, but Skeppy hadn’t paid much attention to anything that didn’t directly concern himself, Bad, or the Skywars map he had spent months constructing. “What’s up?” He asked, not sure what to expect.

Dream sighed, and for the first time, Skeppy noticed the exhaustion in his posture. He was breathing heavily, and a few drops of sweat briefly shone on his forehead before slipping below his mask. “Skeppy,” he began, wheezing the name out with difficulty. “It’s Bad. He needs you.”

“Wait, why? What’s going on?” He was already putting away his tools, ready to run.

Dream shook his head. “No time to explain. He’s hurt, he needs you right now.”

Even if there had been time to explain, that was all Skeppy needed to hear. He ran as fast as his body could physically stand, yelling several times when Dream couldn’t keep up. “Come on! Where is he?”

“In here,” Dream finally panted, placing a hand on the door of the prison. With his other hand, he fished a keycard from his pocket, swiping it to gain access.

Skeppy followed, squinting through the dim halls. “Why would Bad be in here?”

“He agreed to help me guard it,” Dream instantly responded. “We might have to use it soon, and… we need all the help we can get. But there was an accident. This way.” He pointed down a long hall, lined with entrances to what appeared to be tiny cells.

The hall was only just bright enough for Skeppy to see into each cell. From where he stood, they didn’t even look big enough for a person to fit into. What was supposed to go in them? Most of them were marked by signs, but he couldn’t afford to take time to read any of them, not when Bad was hurt and alone and probably crying for Skeppy. Answers could wait.

He had darted out ahead, but the careful attention he gave each cell allowed Dream to quickly catch up. Occupied with his task, Skeppy didn’t actually realize how close Dream was until a hard shove forced him past the entrance of the cell he was examining. Turning around, he was met with the slam of iron bars, sealing his only way out.

“Dream, we don’t have time for trolling!” He banged on the bars with both fists, hoping they would somehow be weak enough to collapse. They weren’t. “We have to find Bad!”

“No, Skeppy.” Dream stood outside, all traces of exhaustion mysteriously absent. “I have to find Bad. And then I have to let him know we’re doing things my way from now on… as long as he wants his precious little Skeppy to stay safe, anyway.” His words were drawn-out and sickly sweet, a vicious mockery of them both.

Skeppy launched another futile attack on the bars. “Oh my God, you’re actually fucking evil. Dude.” Had he been like that the whole time? The idea was starting to hurt his brain, especially since he was no longer even sure if Bad was hurt or not.

Dream shrugged. “Maybe it looks bad from your side, but I’m doing what’s best for everyone. Now don’t go anywhere… not that you exactly have a choice.” With that, he was gone, leaving Skeppy alone in his cell.

Now that he was inside it, Skeppy was questioning the use of the word “cell”. He had so little room to move that a better word would probably be “cage”. He couldn’t even properly sit or lay down… which meant he wouldn’t be there for long, right? Yeah, it had to be temporary. Bad would find him, work things out with Dream, and get him out.

He sighed, not quite out of relief, but out of an unshakable trust that it would come.

—

Losing track of time proved easy, as he realized when he next heard footsteps in the hall, and couldn’t produce an answer to how long he had been left alone for. He didn’t think he had fallen asleep at any point, so it was probably less than a day, but that was as specific as he could get. Leaning forward the tiny amount he could, he tried to get a look at his visitor.

Twin metaphorical weights of stress tumbled off his shoulders when he glimpsed a familiar set of eyes, framed by an equally familiar hood. Once Bad saw where Skeppy was waiting, he rushed over, clinging to the bars that separated them. “Skeppy! Are you okay?”

“I will be once I’m out of here.” Skeppy reached out, his hands closing over Bad’s fingers as much as they could. “What’s going on? Dream’s trolling us, right?”

“You don’t have to worry about Dream anymore. Actually, they’re probably dealing with him right now.” Bad cast a look back towards the prison’s entrance. Though the thick obsidian walls prevented any sound from escaping, he could imagine the scale of the commotion.

“Great. Let’s go home.” He didn’t even care if Bad saw the creeper hole. They could fix it, go to bed, and hopefully forget this ever happened.

“Well…” Still holding the bars, Bad took a step back. “Here’s the thing, Skeppy.”

If that was already enough to chill Skeppy’s blood, what happened next turned it to ice.

As Bad watched Skeppy, the vibrant red in his outfit faded to a dull gray, then to white.

“Bad, what’s happening?” He asked, even as he started shaking in a way that suggested he already knew.

“I have to do something important, Skeppy.” His fingers stroked Skeppy’s palms in an attempt to be comforting. Skeppy hated that he couldn’t even bring himself to pull away. “Something dangerous. People might start thinking they can use you to stop me.” He shook his head. “I won’t let them.”

He didn’t wait for a response. “I know it’s not the nicest place,” he said, voice taking on a placating tone. “But it won’t be for long, and I’ll visit you all the time, okay? I’ll bring all the foods you like, and drinks, and games, and anything else you ask for. You won’t really be missing out on anything!” Was he smiling? Was he really smiling? Skeppy wanted to reach out and slap him, right across the face.

He resorted to the only tactic he had left. “Don’t do this, Bad.” He kept his voice soft and sad, hoping it would be enough to have an effect. “You know I won’t be happy here. Is whatever you’re doing really worth that?”

Bad bit his lip, and for a second, Skeppy saw a battle rage in his eyes. Then it was over, and Bad pulled his hands away from Skeppy’s. “Skeppy, I know you don’t understand yet, but I’m doing this so we can be together forever. No more problems, no more fights, nothing trying to keep us apart.” He looked down, hands twisting together. “Don’t you want that?”

Damn it, he was even better at guilt trips than Skeppy was. “Yeah, of course, but…”

“It won’t be long,” Bad promised again, leaning closer. He carefully positioned his face against the bars, making it clear what he wanted. Skeppy sighed, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“It better not be.”

“See you soon, Skeppy.” Bad gave him a kind smile. Somehow, its sincerity hurt even more than Dream’s cruelty. When Skeppy didn’t answer, Bad looked away and started walking, disappearing from view within seconds.

As soon as he was gone, Skeppy felt a broken noise escape from his throat. It sounded like a strangled hiccup, but the way it forced streams of tears from his eyes made it feel more like a sob.

Whatever it was, it echoed through the hall for a moment, then faded away. Once it was gone, Skeppy heard something faint but unmistakable: a single footstep, which wasn’t followed by another.

He waited for a little longer, delaying his conclusion for as long as he could, but it increasingly set in despite his best efforts. If Skeppy had heard that footstep, then Bad had heard him crying. And he hadn’t come back.

There was no reason to keep holding back. He slumped as far down as the cage would allow, and let the tears come.

He didn’t realize that his sobs weren’t just wordless sounds until the walls echoed them back to him.

Despite everything, he was still crying for Bad to come and save him.

He could explain it away by blaming habit- that was what he always did when things went wrong beyond his own ability to fix them. But even as he told himself that, he couldn’t make it feel like the truth.

He loved Bad. He had loved him through all their fights, all their time apart, and he would keep loving him, no matter how long he was kept here. And he couldn’t decide what was worse: the thought that Bad didn’t love him as much in return, or the thought that he did, and could still bring himself to do this.

In his cramped position, he wasn’t sure if it would even be possible to sleep, but sleep eventually came. When he could no longer physically stay awake, he finally drifted off, hands still gripping the bars in the same position they had been when Bad had been there to hold them.

#skeppy #badboyhalo #skephalo #skeppy jail #the skephalo can be platonic or romantic #dreamsmp spoilers #dream smp spoilers

[tanyawritesstories]

DNA test, anyone? | Wolfpack x Reader

So I said a while back that I was going to try and write a fic based on a @clonesandmoans post about the Wolfpack getting the reader pregnant after an orgy and not knowing which one was the father. So, I wrote just that! Hope you enjoy! 😉

Warnings: NSFW, smut mentioned, fluff, described orgy in a flashback, pregnancy, protective good bois

•••

You woke with immediate pain in your entire torso. Dull, aching, constant pain. As bad as that may be, it was a reminder of the mind blowing events of last night. You smiled at the thought, images flashing through your head.

~~

Your brain couldn’t comprehend the amount of pleasure your body was feeling. Your skin was covered in sweat, bruises, and several hands. Gripping, massaging, spanking, all over you. You weren’t sure who was where anymore.

You were pretty sure that Wolffe was the owner of the cock that was in your mouth, hilt deep, choking you. His grip on your hair was just hard enough to cause a little bit of pain that easily flowed into pleasure.

Comet was the one with your tits in his hands, massaging them gently and using his mouth to suck harshly on one of your nipples. He hadn’t used his teeth on them, but his thumb and index fingers pinching and rolling was enough for you.

Warthog was in your right hand and Wildfire in your left. Both your hands skillfully working their cocks to climax. You didn’t know how you were managing to keep your body functions working since your brain had pretty much left you. You were on autopilot at this point.

That left Sinker and Boost to both of your other holes. Boost was in front of you thrusting into your soaking cunt with wild abandon. Not content to stop until he filled you to the brim with his cum. Sinker had filled your ass after working you open, it still stung a little when he slid in as he was impatient and rushed prepping you a little. He was now moving easily in and out of you thanks to his precum and how wet you were.

You were literally being fucked out of your mind by the entire Wolfpack and it was everything you had ever wanted.

~~

By the time the night had ended, every one of them had stuffed you full with each of their cum. Your legs felt sticky at just the memory.

You sat up slowly, wincing as the soreness turned to sharp pains in your lower regions. You stood on wobbly legs, finally standing up straight and not losing your balance. After standing for a few seconds you were hit with an intense wave of nausea. Despite the pain, you ran to the fresher and promptly threw up into the toilet. You figured it was a result of the strange drinks the boys had mixed for you the night before. You had watched them add at least ten different alcohols into one concoction with potentially bad after effects.

You leaned against the wall after emptying the contents of your stomach. Still worth it. You proceeded with your daily duties as a civilian mechanic, doing repairs, safety checking equipment, seeing the boys off to yet another mission, all in a day’s work.

Everything pretty much stayed the same for the next week. Except the fact that you would randomly get nauseous and end up in a refresher, or with your head over a trash receptacle, puking your brains out. You had no idea why. The idea of it being the alcohol was a good one, but it wouldn’t be lasting this long. Food poisoning? But you ate the same thing everyday and never had this reaction. Just being sick in general was an option, except everyone was perfectly healthy, unless a sickness just appeared out of thin air.

You went to a medic after getting tired of throwing up everyday for nearly two weeks in a row. You were hoping it was an easy fix, that there was a medication you could take and make it go away so you could get back to work. That wasn’t the case.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Y/N,” the shy medic began. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” You questioned, concern finding its way into your eyes.

“You’re pregnant.”

The information struck you like a mudhorn charging at you full speed. “What? T-that can’t be right,” you stuttered out. “I ran the tests three times, it’s correct,” the medic assured, “somehow you got pregnant.”

Then it dawned on you. The Wolfpack. That night they fucked you senseless must have overwhelmed your birth control and gotten you pregnant. Your head fell into your hands and you groaned. Fuck. Now what? What steps did you take from here? Do you tell them? That in itself presented an issue. All of them had emptied themselves into you, so who was the father? It could be any of them, it’s not like the baby’s looks or DNA could tell either. You knew if they pulled it up they would only find that it was a clone not which clone.

You sulked back to your room and had no choice but to deal with your situation. You weren’t exactly ready to be a mother, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. You had to tell them when they got back, there was nothing else you could do.

It was another few weeks when the boys finally got back. You were nervous as all hell and decided to tell them after they had gotten settled back in and relaxed some. You didn’t need to add to their stress or dampen their happiness. You welcomed them back like you always did and gave each of them a kiss on the cheek, telling them you had a surprise for them later, so that they knew to set time aside.

That time came just before they were all about to bunk down for the night.

“So, Y/N, what’s this surprise you have in store for us?” Sinker asked with a wink.

“Well, it’s nothing like the last one,” you replied. You made sure you had all their attention before continuing. “I have something important to tell you guys,” you said, looking at the floor. You chanced a glance up and saw six pairs of eyes boring into you. You took a deep breath and prayed they didn’t flip out.

“I’m, uh, I’m pregnant,” you said, just loud enough for them to hear.

You got the opposite reaction to what you expected. Complete silence. Looking between them you could see each of them thinking, trying to figure it out. Comet was the first to decipher it.

“So which one of us is the father?”

You looked sheepishly at the floor again. “I-it could be any of you, possibly all of you.”

There was silence again until Sinker spoke up. “We’re that good, huh?” You looked up to see the smirk on his face before Boost elbowed him in the ribs and quietly told him to cut it out. An arm wrapped around your shoulders and you looked up to see Wildfire’s eyes looking back at yours. “Are you going to be alright?”

You closed your eyes, the full force of what you had done finally setting in. You were ashamed, embarrassed, and felt stupid. The creases of your eyes began collecting tears and you squeezed them shut harder, causing the tears to fall down your cheeks. You couldn’t hold back your emotions any longer and you broke down in tears. Wildfire pulled you into him and held you tightly as you sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his blacks. You felt the rest of the boys come to your aid, rubbing your back, running their fingers through your hair, holding your hands, anything they could to provide you some comfort.

You quieted down after a few minutes and slowly pulled away from Wildfire only to be taken into Wolffe’s arms. The Commander placed his hands on your cheeks and tilted your face up to look at him, wiping your tears with his bare thumbs.

“It’ll be alright,Y/N. We’ll help you,” he assured, “We will all be with you every step of the way, anything you need, tell us, ok? This baby is all of ours, so we’re going to treat it and it’s mother like the greatest treasure in the galaxy.” The other men echoed Wolffe’s words with their own words of encouragement and promises to be there for you. You found a smile coming to your face, a feeling of calm washing over you.

“I don’t deserve you amazing boys,” you said.

Wolffe kissed your forehead, “No, cyar’ika, we don’t deserve you, or this amazing gift you’ve given us.” Tears rolled down your face, but this time from happiness. Everything was going to be alright.

~~

The next few months were the most chaotic and stressful months of your life. The boys were so attentive to your needs and always there to help you. They hated leaving you to go on missions but they didn’t have much choice, and you assured them that you would be ok. But when they weren’t on mission, at least one of them was always with you.

They also made sure you were in perfect healthy condition. Walking you throughout the ship for exercise, making sure you stuck to a healthy diet and didn’t consume anything dangerous, and not letting you lift anything heavy, no matter how much you complained about some of those things.

Comet was usually the one to enforce your ‘food laws’ as you had nicknamed them. Refusing you things that would make you gain extra weight, and making sure you stuck to the list of foods you were given. He only let your cravings go so far until he took whatever you were eating away from you once you had too much. Usually that caused you to get mad or upset at him, the hormones only making things worse, but he was a firm man and didn’t budge even when you gave him your best puppy eyes. Though he wasn’t all bad, he always made sure you had food and if you were craving something specific he would run to the mess hall and get it for you.

Warthog kept you from working too much, usually he was already in the hangar when you would try and sneak in to get work done. He would notice you but pay no mind until you started doing something worrying. He would rush to your side and lift things for you or pick tools off the ground, go up on ladders, and occasionally escort you away from your workstation if you had been working too long. You would get upset at him too and worry that the work would go unfinished, but he would make sure it got done, by him or another mechanic.

Sinker was always there during your mood swings. When you would suddenly get angry or sad he would be at your side, comforting you or calming you down. He had a way with words and seemed to know the perfect ones to make you laugh when you were sad or soothe you when you were angry. He often dried your tears with his hands, always removing his gloves so you could feel his skin. You got anxious sometimes too, to the point you would be jittery. Sinker would be there letting you do anything to occupy your mind and get it off the anxious thoughts. Usually it was running your fingers through his hair or tracing his vertebrae with shaky hands.

Wildfire had specifically read up on the physical effects of pregnancy and found himself taking care of your changing body. You would wake up with muscle pains and Wildfire would be right there to massage the tension out of your shoulders or back. He would tell you facts and information he read off the holonet about which positions to sleep in to reduce the stress on your body. He would happily do little things for you, like rub your back or scratch an itch you couldn’t reach. Nothing seemed too big or small a task for him. He held your hair out of the way when your morning sickness kicked in and never complained. He would help you take baths and showers, scrubbing places you no longer had access to. Even going so far as to shave your legs and your vulva when you nearly broke down in tears saying you didn’t feel sexy anymore because of it.

Wolffe also contributed where he could, given it was hard because he was the busiest. He would spend time listening to you rant and rave about things that were bothering you or the events of that day, or the fact that Comet refused you cupcakes again. He was good at listening and hung onto every word you said. He often helped you shower too, since you loved to talk and sing in the shower. You taught him some songs and he would sometimes sing them with you. Oftentimes your mutual showering would lead to more adult activities. Seeing you big and pregnant always turned Wolffe on to some degree. Whenever your hormones would go crazy and make you horny, you always went to Wolffe. After finding out about his breeding kink you exploited it every time you were in need of special attention. It drove Wolffe feral seeing you naked and pregnant. He would give you exactly what you needed even when you didn’t know what that was. Whether that was fucking you rough and urgent or slow and sensual, he always knew what you needed. The other Wolfpack boys knew not to get in the Commander’s way when you would comm him asking to meet up in a less traveled part of the ship.

Boost was the most nervous about the situation that had been thrust upon him and his brothers. He hesitated to pitch in and help, not knowing what he could do but feeling bad he wasn’t as excited as the others. It took your assurance to bring him around, telling him that you were just as scared and nervous as he was. He decided that he would help keep you in shape and healthy. He would walk or jog throughout the ship with you, help you through light workouts that Wildfire told him were beneficial for pregnant women. He wanted to support you and therefore mirrored your workouts, making sure everything you did he did too, just so you weren’t alone. It often encouraged you and it became a challenge for you to get Boost to sweat with every workout you did. He was perfectly athletic and if you could get him to sweat and exert himself a little bit then that meant you were doing a good job. He even took up yoga with you, you were both just as bad being beginners and had many laughs and tumbles from trying strange poses. Sinker made the mistake of teasing Boost for doing yoga, you put an end to his teasing with a karate kick to the ass. Sinker never mentioned it again.

By the time the baby was due, the Wolfpack had transformed a corner of the barracks into a nursery. Complete with everything you could need, a crib, changing table and plenty of clothes for the little one. If anyone asked General Plo how any of those supplies managed to make it aboard he would swear he had no idea. But you all knew better. Despite the Force, the Jedi General was not a good liar. But he was a good babysitter.

You went into labor in the middle of the night, waking the boys up with your shouts of pain. They rushed you to the medbay and tried not to get in the way of the med droid as it delivered the child. They watched, some in horror, some in awe, as you gave birth. It was a perfectly healthy baby boy, who you could already tell looked a lot like his fathers.

You held the little babe on your chest and looked at the men surrounding you, most of which had tears in their eyes. “We did it,” you rasped out, your throat sore from screaming out in pain. “What are we going to name him?” Warthog asked. You looked down at your son, sleeping soundly on your chest. There was a little star shaped strawberry birthmark on his left cheek. “Nova,” you said.

“It’s perfect,” Wolffe agreed. He gently placed his hand on the baby’s head. “Our gift from the stars.”

#star wars the clone wars #star wars #wolfpack battalion #commander wolffe #clone trooper boost #clone trooper sinker #clone trooper comet #clone trooper wildfire #clone trooper warthog #wolfpack x reader

[huacheng-zhu]

ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)

that’s a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today I’m STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxian​ who can testify that I couldn’t shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]

starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but I’m extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably won’t change anyway, so be nice please!

what I didn't like:

too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!

not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I would’ve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didn’t happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.

their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it could’ve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing there’s absolutely no reason for it. I get there’s the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so would’ve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if he’d had control (end spoilers) but still?? and it’s never brought up again? I know they don’t get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this

some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.

there’s horny, and then there’s mo ran. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, “oh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of you” and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)

kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but that’s just because I love that shit

(spoilers) kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan would’ve been very interesting. (end spoilers)

xue meng didn’t get a hug

that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you don’t want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate world’s “if there had been no transmigration” version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for “haha split personalities fighting over cwn’s attention uwu” THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing

(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)

alright what I liked now:

the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, what’s redeemable, what’s punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “look further than the first page” in so many ways

the romance. like I don’t need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]

the plot twists/reveals. I’m so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting “WHAT” and/or gaping and/or various “what the fuck!!!”/”holy SHIT”/“NO” reactions

the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? that’s my jam

wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.

might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think it’s so lovely that he gets to do that

the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so there’s that

chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesn’t happen to me that often

the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was “!!!!”

I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ran’s character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers) I like to argue that yeah he’s been alive for 32 years but when you’ve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body “mature and old” and compares himself to shi mei I’m just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi mei’s there’s barely any difference in maturity right there. I know it’s your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isn’t such a big change in a life that’s been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, who’s been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guy’s middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.

the pain. I’m still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didn’t feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I don’t cry that easily but by the end I think I’d cried, what, close to ten times??

quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] “I realized - I had grown into the you in my heart”?? “hell is too cold”??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first

most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill

xue zhengyong. like he’s not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention

the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know it’s serious

THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard

unless I think of something else, that’s about it! I can’t recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and that’s precisely the feeling I’m looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but I’m a CLOWN. the way it’s written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesn’t fuck around.

#2ha #bee talks #i will probably tweak and add to this post over time because I probably forgot stuff #anyways I'm gonna go lie down and cry over ranwan as I think about my fic ideas #2ha review

[mollymauk-teafleak]

A Backwards Glance

Based on an idea by my wonderful girlfriend @spiky-lesbian!

Please leave a comment on Ao3 or reblog and let me know what you thought in the tags! 

--------

Juno is about to marry the love of his life but its hard to forget the last time he wore a wedding gown.

So he's come to remember how far he's come.

--------

It seemed to Juno that there was more dust than there should be.

How much grime, how many fragments, how many days manifested as faint clumps of barely there grey, could really accumulate in just under two decades? More than he’d ever realised. It stuck to his fingers in drifts as he moved box after box, aging his skin before his eye like he was moving further into the future rather than digging back into his past. There was no system to them, they were just stacked haphazardly with no labels and uneven weights so he had to clamber through them all to find the one he wanted. Clearly he hadn’t ever expected to be back here, when he’d been a brokenhearted younger lady he’d just wanted to shove it all away in this storage unit and forget.

Part of him wanted to go back to that, the part of him couldn’t understand what exactly he was doing here now. They only had five hours left on Mars, a quick, whistle stop trip to collect Mick for the wedding and to stretch their legs before another long haul into space, and he was spending it trawling through the shit that was too depressing to keep around even when he was Mars’ PI who most needed therapy. He knew he should be out seeing old friends and visiting old haunts before remembering he didn’t have any old friends and all his old haunts had been destroyed and then just going to a bar or a restaurant with the man he was going to marry in less than a month.

But instead he was here. And there was a reason.

That man Juno was going to marry was currently leaning in the doorway, politely not questioning his fiancee's decision to bring them here, also not going near any of the boxes that landed near his feet as they were thrown aside, waiting for Juno’s permission because of course he was.

“You can look,” Juno grunted, wiping the dust off his hands, not making them much cleaner and ruining his trousers into the bargain, “It’s just junk.”

“Your junk,” Peter Nureyev amended, like that made it important and worth looking at.

He bent and looked through the first of the boxes Juno had jettisoned over his shoulder when it didn’t hold whatever he was here to find. That one was just old toys of his and Ben’s. Turbos mostly.

“They’re in quite a state,” Nureyev hummed, turning one over in his hands, watching as one of its arms sagged in the socket and counting the crayon marks, “I take it you weren’t as fond of this one?”

“Haven’t you ever had a toy, babe?” Juno snorted, moving aside a box of old school assignments. All Benzaiten’s, he’d thrown away all his own, “The more banged up it is, the more you liked it.”

“Ah...no. I never did, actually.”

Juno stopped, screwing up his face and cursing himself in his mind. Of course his thief had never had a toy, he’d never had the chance to be a child, “Sorry…”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Nureyev said lightly, as if he thought it really was, “My love, what is it you’re looking for?”

Juno bit his lower lip as he thought, eyes scanning the boxes that had seemed so few when they’d walked in but, now he was crouched amongst them, covered him like castle walls, “I...I think it’s in this one…”

Of course it was in the box that had been pushed furthest back, right into the corner of the chilly, cramped little space that had been all a younger Juno could afford. It was the one he most wanted to forget. The one he’d wanted the most space between it and him.

Again, the smell was mustier than it should have been. Inside the box, the old synthetic lace smelled like dust and stasis and just the faintest hint of rot. Juno stood and shook it out, unfurling the dress to its full length and holding it up so the pale sunlight from behind them washed yellow through the fabric and made it look like a skin of something. It made it look hollow, a space made to be filled.

“Oh,” Nureyev murmured faintly behind him, his voice catching just a little. He sounded further away than he really was.

Juno remembered when he’d first got this dress, spending far more money on it than his junior HCPD salary minus his addictions could stretch to. But at the time, it seemed worth it. When he’d worn this dress, even when he’d just held it up on the hanger in the store and imagined it on him, everything had felt like it would be okay. When he’d moved quickly and felt the waterfalls of tiered fabric had whispered, it had drowned out the doubts in his head. When he’d tried a twirl, just because he could, and watched as the lace floated in the air like it was weightless, he could forget the last argument they’d had and could ignore the fact that now a night couldn’t go by that didn’t end with them screaming at each other. When he’d looked at himself in the mirror and felt beautiful, he didn’t have to think about how Sasha still hadn’t replied to her invitation, how Mick changed the subject whenever Juno tried to steer it towards him being his best man, how Rita asked nearly every day now if he was sure this was what he wanted.

And he could forget that the answer wasn’t coming as easily anymore.

When Juno had worn the dress, it all felt right. Like an actor being given his costume, it had all solidified. The lines had felt more like truth, the repetition of them was only practise for the real thing. All the problems had felt trivial, things that every bride must surely worry about before their big day, before everything became as fairytale as they’d promised. Before the bad parts stopped and it was all just the good days, the bits he kept going back to them for.

The dress stopped him being just the son of the woman who’d gone mad, the brother of the dancer who’d died tragically young, the fuck up from Oldtown who’d thought he could make a difference, the jaded cop who’d started out with wide eyes and a clear heart but now needed as much drugs and drink as the rest of them to get through the day. He wasn’t Juno Steel. In the dress, he was Diamond’s wife. And that had it’s good days, at least.

Nureyev stepped up quietly behind him, his voice soft and almost reverent as he placed a hand on Juno’s hip, “It’s a beautiful dress, my love. I’m sure you were a vision in it.”

Juno paused a moment before laughing roughly, “It isn’t. And I wasn’t.”

With Nureyev’s hand against him, the dress looked different. He didn’t like the style at all, it was overly flashy with it’s ridiculously puffed up sleeves and it’s ruffled tiers. He must have looked like a damn wedding cake with it on, one someone would spend too much money on and would turn out to be nearly all fondant. The front was cut too short and the back draped way too low, the fake gems around the bodice were tacky and dull even in the light. It just wasn’t Juno’s style. Which made sense, seeing as he hadn’t chosen it.

And it was so small, reminding him how unhealthily thin he’d been back then, how the drugs had made him drawn and all sharp, painful angles. How food had never been a priority because he was too busy at work or because Diamond had taken his wallet again and their own fridge was bare. How, without Benten to feed as well, there just hadn’t seemed all that much point in remembering to eat. In taking care of himself at all, as a singular person who was meant to be part of a pair.

“Well…” Nureyev was attempting a charitable kindness, “I think you would look dashing in anything, of course…but you do have a point. It’s not quite your style.”

Juno made a soft noise of agreement, passing the material through his fingers, “Good thing I only had to wear it the one time.”

There were marks of that one time all over the dress. Not the ceremony that never happened, obviously, but the night that had followed. And, almost ridiculously, Juno found himself smiling at them. He found the dark amber stain on the skirts where he’d spilled his fourth whiskey at the Pour and Floor. He saw the grease on the back where he’d ridden behind Mick on his hoverbike through the streets at two in the morning, far too fast, fast enough to kill them both if they’d crashed but Juno had just whooped and cheered until his throat was so raw he couldn’t make a sound. He found the mud on the hem and the burn at the edge of the sleeve from when Sasha had turned up, given him one of her rare, tight enough to hurt hugs and they’d hopped a chain link fence behind a store to shoot cans off the wall with his and Sasha’s blasters. And of course the whole thing was crumpled and creased, when he’d staggered to his own apartment and fell asleep on the couch well past sunrise, he hadn’t been in the right state of mind to take it off and fold it nicely.

And when he’d woken in the morning, he’d never wanted to see it again.

That night had been reckless, profoundly stupid, one wrong step from turning into broken sobs and beating his fists against the pavement. But it had been wonderful too, everything feeling slightly unreal and just perfect enough to feel like the best days of his childhood. He’d breathed deeply, like his head had been underwater until that moment, and he hadn’t needed any powder or pill to feel it. After a while, even the space where Benten should have been standing began to feel less painful and almost friendly.

He’d felt like Juno Steel again and, honestly, for that night it hadn’t seemed like a bad thing.

He’d almost forgotten that night, in it’s bitch of a hangover that had stretched on for years and years of bitterness and depression and clawing himself back to some kind of control over his own body and his own mind. But it had been a pretty fun night.

“Would you like to keep it?” Nureyev asked gently, hand moving from his waist and sliding round until his arms encircled him completely, holding him fast, “We could take it with us and...I don’t know, perhaps I could sew it into something for you, a garter or…”

Juno leaned back in his arms until Nureyev’s forehead was pressed to the crown of his skull.

“Nah. I’m gonna throw it out. Should have done it years ago, honestly.”

There was a tinge of relief to how Nureyev smiled and kissed the top of his head, “But I think you needed to come here today. Am I right?”

Juno smiled crookedly, “I did...thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course,” Nureyev murmured, as if Juno didn’t even need to thank him for something like that, as if it was obvious he’d wanted to be with him as he’d faced his difficult memories.

But standing there, holding his old wedding dress, Juno felt like he really did.

“Come on, I’m done moping. Let’s go do something fun, there’s a tea place over in Halcyon that’s right up your alley,” he turned in Nureyev’s arms and kissed his cheek lightly before leading him back to the door.

Now he could understand why everything seemed so much older, so caked in dust that seemed to show more years than had actually gone by. It wasn’t because of time as it was distance. It was the fact that he was a completely new Juno Steel, who could barely remember being so sad, so angry at the world. He was looking at the relics of another life, one he’d gladly left behind.

Maybe that was the reason Juno had wanted to come back here, when he could have been feeding his fiance cake from the end of a fork or something else suitably romantic and engagement-y. After all, it wasn’t really as far off as it seemed sometimes. He’d made those bad decisions, he’d hurt those people and been hurt in turn. It did Juno good to remember that.

Because now he could see how far he’d come.

He would close the door and plunge it all into darkness, the dress melted into a careless puddle of fabric where he’d let it fall. He would toss the keys down at the desk of the storage unit place and tell them cheerfully to throw out everything, he was done with it all. He would pull Nureyev out into a surprisingly sunny afternoon, into their new names for the day, and live the kind of life he’d always dreamed he’d have but had never really believed he would. And then he would leave, back into the stars with his family.

And Juno Steel wouldn’t look back.

#cw: implied drug use #cw: past abusive relationships #jupeter #juno steel #peter nureyev #tpp #tpp fic #junoverse #happy ending #juno steel has a character growth

[sexcoffeeandkellynickelsfics]

Sun, Sea & Two Holiday Romances? Part Three

This is all I have written for this so far 😭😭 I have ideas for a part four and an ending but not enough!

“What are you doing?” Karen whispered to Izzy as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the set of draws.

“I uh I like to sleep naked” he shyly told her.

“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted too” Karen whispered to him.

He relaxed slightly then stripped himself of his clothes and slid into the bed next to Karen.

“Hey come here a second” he gently nudged at Karen.

She turned to face him and he closed the gap bringing their lips together, hands began tangling into hair, they pulled back from each other smiling and a little breathless, Izzy hand gripped gently onto Karen’s hip then leaned to kiss each other again.

BANG!

“ What the hell?” Karen startled.

“Fucking Duff! Or more like your friend is fucking Duff” Izzy grimaced.

Bang, bang, thump! The headboard in the neighbouring bedroom slammed against the wall over and over again.

Then came a giggle they assumed was from Amy and the just about made out phrase;

“I need a freshen up, wanna join me?”

“Oh thank god” Izzy sighed.

He pulled Karen closer and nuzzled his face into her hair inhaling the scent of her cherry almond shampoo. Soon enough both their breaths shallowed as they fell into their slumber.

Apparently only sleeping till 6am was long enough for Duff and Amy as they were going at it again headboard banging against the wall, Amy begging and Duff groaning.

“This was not how I envisioned being woken up” Karen groaned face buried in the pillow.

Izzy leant over her.

“How did you envision waking up then huh?” He smirked.

She turned her head and met his lips.

“Hmm something like this maybe” she mused as he pulled her into his lap.

The two woman had left Duff and Izzy’s cottage to go back to their own to change with the promise of meeting back up for an afternoon of activities. After getting dressed they both sat on the patio gazing out over the blue ocean not a single cloud in sight considering the awful storm the night before.

“So what did you two get up to last night?” Amy asked Karen sipping from the straw wedged Dr Pepper can.

“Well he kissed me and he was so soft and gentle” she gushed.

Amy sat bolt up right in her seat.

“And? What else?” She probed.

“He smells good like, really good!” She added.

“Aaaaaand?” Amy shrilled.

“Did you know do the deed? Get down to it? Please tell me you did?!”

“I umm maybe” Karen giggled.

“Oh thank fuck! You could cut the sexual tension between you both with a knife last night” Amy yelled.

“Yeah well I don’t need to ask how your night with was Duff do I?” Karen said to her friend sarcastically.

Amy laughed.

“Oh man he does really know what he’s doing” Amy sighed.

“They leave on Monday night” Amy told Karen failing to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“They do? Oh....”

Amy balled the end off her blouse sleeve in her hand and ferociously wiped at the tears spilling gently over her lashes.

“I’ve known Duff two days, two fucking days and I’m upset he’s leaving to go home and I’ll never see him again will I?” Amy let out a loud sob.

Karen pulled her friend in for a hug and sobbed a little too knowing Izzy was going to go home and never see her again either.

“We’ve both fallen really hard and fast haven’t we?” Amy finally spoke with a broken voice.

“Yes, yes we have” Karen agreed.

——————————————————————————

The afternoon had started off nicely with the four of them strolling along the beach, ice cream in hand. Duff was holding Amy’s hand stopping to twirl her around every now and then allowing the world to hear her laugh. She twirled herself into Duff’s side and used a hand to brace herself on his chest. She looked up at him and smirked.

“What babe?” He asked her.

“Oh nothing” she smirked again.

He shrugged and brought his ice cream up to his face then Amy gently nudged it smushing it into his nose slightly.

She shrieked with laughter and kicked her cowboy boots off so she could run better down the beach taking off Duff following closely behind her the pair of them laughing.

“What happens after this getaway is over?” Karen just blurted out to Izzy the both of them perched on the edge of a wall.

“I’d still like to see you if that’s what you’re asking?” He responded.

“You would?” She tilted her head up to look at him.

“I would, the drive would be more than worthwhile” he smiled planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

“I don’t know how it’s gonna work for those two though” Karen sighed.

They watched as Duff and Amy chased each other Duff grabbing Amy by the waist and pulled her down into the sand with him.

“Are you okay? You seem sad” Duff asked Amy brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I’m fine” she told him looking anywhere to avoid his gaze.

“No you aren’t look at me?” He gently cupped her face so she’d look at him.

“You leave on Monday and and...” she felt her bottom lip wobble and the tears brim in her eyes.

“And you’re gonna leave and we’ll go back to our normal lives and all this will be forgotten and end up being just a memory” the tears threatening to spill over her lashes for the second time that day.

He rubbed his fingers across her cheeks wiping away the start of her tears.

“Hey hey” he shushed her.

“I don’t want this to end here, I’d never forgive myself if I let this end here! Come back with me?” He asked her.

“But where would I live? What about work? Where would I work? She asked him mouth running a hundred miles an hour.

“For a start you can live with me we’ll sort all the other technical stuff later ok? It’s fine it’s fine I promise just come back with me”

“I will, of course I will” she cried.

He sealed the deal with a kiss both of them smiling into it.

He rose his long legs out the sand still holding onto Amy gripping her waist tightly to stand up then threw her over his shoulder.

“Duff my ass” she screamed frantically trying to pull her dress down so she didn’t flash anyone passing by.

“Is great!” He smirked.

Duff walked back up the beach, Amy still slung over his shoulder giggling then dropped her down next to where Izzy and Karen were leant talking.

Duff leant next to Izzy and pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up as Amy flopped down onto the sand to pull her boot back on, Karen flopped down next to her.

“Sooooo what was so important you spend half an hour sat in the sand in his lap” Karen nudged at her dark haired friend.

“Well we talked about what we talked about this morning” Amy started.

“Uh huh aaaand?” Karen nodded.

“What did he say?”

“And he’d asked me to go back with him because he said he’d never forgive himself if he let everything end here!” She told the blonde excitedly.

“What about you? What did you and mr talk, dark and handsome talk about?” Amy asked.

“Well he wants to carry all this on too, The drive is more than worth while apparently” Karen grinned.

Amy bumped her shoulder with hers.

“We did alright didn’t we?”

“On all levels I’d so say” And both women laughed.

“I’ve got an idea!” Amy jumped up quickly.

“And that would be what?” Izzy cocked his eyebrow.

“Rockpooling!” She yelled excitedly.

“The fuck is a rock pool?” Duff asked.

Amy quickly explained.

“So they’re basically pools made of rock?” Duff asked.

“Along the sea shore?” Izzy butted in.

“That sea creatures live in and you use nets to catch them to look at them?” Karen finally added.

“Yes! It’s so much fun, I’ve got so many fond childhood memories of rockpooling” Amy told them excitedly.

“Sounds fun” Izzy said

“I’ve got some buckets and nets in the car, I’ll go and grab them”

“I’ll come and help” Duff offered jumping up to follow Amy leaving Karen and Izzy alone.

“You know they’re probably gonna fuck in the car right?” Karen blurted out.

Izzy groaned and rolled his eyes.

“20 bucks says they do” she bet extending her hand to the dark haired man.

“You’ve got yourself a bet” he said

A while later Amy and Duff returned her hair was a mess and her usual red lipstick was gone.

“Got the nets and buckets” she shouted her and Duff waving the objects in the air.

“I don’t think she’s been fishing for fish” Izzy laughed elbowing Karen.

“No I think she’s been fishing for dick” Karen laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Duff asked.

“Hey Amy how was fishing for Duff’s dick?” Karen asked her not breaking her composure until Izzy snorted and dribbled cola out of his mouth.

Karen completely lost her composure and snorted too, Amy didn’t even try to hide her embarrassment and started laughing as the blush rose up her cheeks. Duff just smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

The rest of the afternoon didn’t quite go how they had envisioned it, fishing in the rock pools was fine until Duff decided he really wanted to pet the crab he’d caught, angry mister crab didn’t appreciate the idea of being petted and decided to take its frustration out on Duff’s finger.

“It’s fucking hanging off my finger what the fuck?!” Duff cried shaking the small creature around on his finger desperately trying to get it to let go.

“Hold still” Amy laughed prizing the small red crab off his finger, placing a gentle kiss on where the crab had pinched him.

“How about we go back to the cottage and Nurse Amy can make you feel better?” She cooed to him.

Izzy retched at the words that left Amy’s lips, as if the constant banging of the headboard wasn’t bad enough last night or the fact Duff had apparently got the energy of the Duracell Bunny OR the fact they’d had to put up with waaaaay to much PDA at the dining table the pair of them giggling like teenagers.

“Don’t worry Izz, we’ll go back to our cottage you can have the other one” Duff shouted as him and Amy walked off hand in hand toward where they were staying.

“So how does food and drinks sound?” Izzy asked Karen pulling her into his side.

“Perfect” she smiled.

[ua-hc7]

TRANSCRIPT: August 29, 2:12 AM

[Note: The following contains implications/references of and to a variety of abuses. Drug use and sexual content is explicitly mentioned and described.]

[Note: Official recording started midway conversation. The above is paraphrased.]

[Note: Uncensored transcript requires further authoritzation.]

.. ... @ua-hawks​ ...

[Incoming call. Hawks is still putting himself back together at home. The rustle of a jacket being thrown over something and his clumsy, erratic footsteps can be faintly heard.]

[Shichirou picks up. It's quiet on his end asides from the soft rustling of wings.]

SHICHIROU: ... ▇▇▇▇▇? Sweetheart, what's happening...

[He stifles a yawn, his voice slow and heavy with sleep.]

HAWKS: Hi,

[Hawks' voice is drained of energy, yet he's still rushing. He hasn't been able to get out of his work headspace.]

HAWKS: Sorry. Did I wake you up?

[The way his words slur becomes more obvious.]

SHICHIROU: No, no...

[More rustling, the soft sound of fabrics moving together this time. There's a soft creak of a mattress as Shichirou sits up in bed.]

SHICHIROU: Have you been drinking? You haven't answered my question...

[A door shuts. Hard.]

HAWKS: Yeah.

[He's pacing. Restless. Exhausted.]

HAWKS: What'd you say?

SHICHIROU: What is going on?

[His voice is suddenly stern, though only slightly so. Still, it's a clear change of tone, all the drowsiness in his voice suddenly gone.]

SHICHIROU: Tell me what has you so upset.

HAWKS: I don't know. I just. I had to like-I had t'arrest or-no-I had to bring a kid in, to like a hospital...

[As he explains the distress rises. He's talking before he can even find the words to say what he needs to say.]

HAWKS: I was on my way to my meeting with Dabi and he was there and I don't know why-he's a-a fuckin ua kid, you have to have heard about it,

[It's completely silent as he listens. He only interrupts by the end, his voice quiet, firm and calm.]

SHICHIROU: Hawks. You are our main source on the League at this moment. Everything we hear, we hear through you.

[He waits a moment for his words to (hopefully) cut through his panic before continuing.]

SHICHIROU: Please clarify. You've brought in a UA student? Name? And which hospital is he in, are you there now?

HAWKS: Monoma.. [A sharp, shaky breath interrupts him.] Neito. Monoma Neito...

[He does pause. Let himself calm down as much as he can. The pacing stops.]

HAWKS: Sorry... 'm sorry I just... He was so fucked up, Chirou, I can't even.. I shouldn't be doing this right now I just need to write the fucking report and-and I need to get back to my interns and..

[He barely catches a gasp as he starts crying. It's sudden, even to himself, suppressing it best he can. He doesn't want Shichirou to know how weak he's gotten.]

SHICHIROU: ...

[He waits a few moment, listening to his stifled tears. Quietly, he writes down the boy's name. Then, he presses a program to start on his phone to record the rest of the conversation, cursing himself quietly for not doing that right at the start.]

SHICHIROU: You don't need to be doing anything right now, Hawks...

[He sighs, urging patience back into himself. He wants more information on the case but it'd have to wait...]

SHICHIROU: What have I told you about taking care of yourself? That's what's most important. Just concentrate on letting it all out, please, you'll feel better... I want you to be okay.

... Do you need to come over?

HAWKS: Yeah, well-

[Unintentionally, Hawks snaps, catching himself for a second.]

HAWKS: I can't exactly do that when I'm at everyone's fucking beck and call, can I? Dabi could hit me up at like 5 am and be like ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ and I'd probably do it just cuz it's the mission.

[He let's go again.]

HAWKS: And he has! And he has. And I do it. And I feel disgusting and-fucking Monoma-▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ I...

SHICHIROU: ...

[He sighs again, a slow, careful breath.]

SHICHIROU: Was he...? Hawks, can you explain what you saw? Please?

[A pause as he frowns to himself.]

SHICHIROU: You're doing good work, love... You really are. It's all going to be so worth it when we're done, I promise you.

HAWKS: I...

[He lets out an aggravated sigh.]

HAWKS: I saw ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇. That's it. I went to where our meeting was gonna be and Monoma was ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ He was all sortsa fucked up and I pulled him aside and he-I don't know, maybe he thought I was someone else but ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ and I.. I don't know...

[Another shuddering breath, more tears.]

HAWKS: ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇... [He forces a sad chuckle.]

SHICHIROU: ... ▇▇▇▇▇ ...

[He'll have to cut that out from the recording. The commission was well aware of Hawks' true name but he still tries to respect the boy's privacy nonetheless.]

SHICHIROU: It's okay. It's okay...

[So much to unpack and try and soothe away. Shichirou rises from the bed, starting to snap the lights of his house on.]

SHICHIROU: Please, come over. I'd like to see you. About the boy, unless he ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇-

[He pauses, shakes his head.]

SHICHIROU: Remember, Dabi is a violent criminal, Monoma's probably been abused into a mindset that makes him ▇▇▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, it doesn't mean he does. It's a good thing you caught them before this could get even worse, because now we can help him, and now we can press more charges against Dabi when we finally arrest him. Does that make sense, dear?

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: One second..

[Hawks drops his phone, wiping his face and letting another few sobs shake his body before he collects himself again and picks up again.]

HAWKS: ...

It does.

...

But I don't think I wanna move.

[Already, Shichirou is throwing open his closet so he can retrieve a jacket.]

SHICHIROU: I can come to you. Tell me where you are, please.

[He shakes his head again, muttering to himself, floorboards creaking under his feet as he strides.]

SHICHIROU: You're drunk, you shouldn't be moving much anyway... Are you on any other drugs right now?

HAWKS: I'm at my place...

[Hawks is on the floor, sitting against his bed. He feels ready to pass out. He probably will by the time Shichirou gets to him.]

HAWKS: Yeah. Dunno what. Dabi likes to give me shit... Think it wore off though.. 'm getting sober too..

[A pause and he lifts himself again, wandering to his kitchen, mumbling to himself as he opens cabinets until he finds what he wants.]

HAWKS: Fuck..

SHICHIROU: I'll bring a drug test kit.

[There's a jingle as he snatches his keys from his desk.]

SHICHIROU: Depending on what it is in your system, that's possession. That's another charge, Hawks, you're doing so well. Are you drinking water? You should be laying down...

HAWKS: Yeah, well.

[A pause-he drinks. Its just a shot of vodka.]

HAWKS: I know he's got ecstasy and opiates and shit. Dunno where he gets it. Coke. Other shit, probably. Dunno.

[Another shot.]

HAWKS: I'm fine.

SHICHIROU: Hm.

[Silence as he considers that. He slips his shoes on and throws the door open, steps loud against the pavement outside.]

SHICHIROU: Try and find out his sources. Drug crime has been on the rise again.

...

Go lie down. I'm not telling you again.

HAWKS: Mmm...

[The phones microphone is covered momentarily, uncovered once Hawks has set down the shot glass again.]

HAWKS: Fine.

[He finds his way to the couch, sinking down into it and almost relaxing.]

SHICHIROU: Thank you.

[A variety of sounds as Shichirou unlocks his car and gets inside, the usual shuffle of trying to adjust his wings comfortably continuing for a few long moments.]

SHICHIROU: I'll be there in 20 minutes. Can you keep me on the line, please? You don't have to keep talking much if you don't feel up to it anymore.

HAWKS: What, you worried I'll die between now and then..

[Hawks huffs out like he's trying to laugh, listening to the faint sound of his wings. It'd be better if he was there.]

HAWKS: I'll be fine...

[Hands pat against his pants and shirt, trying to find his cigarettes and a lighter, unsuccessful with both.]

SHICHIROU: Yes. I am worried.

[Shichirou falls quiet. He starts the car, pulling out into the road. For a long moment, the only sound from his end is the hum of the engine.]

SHICHIROU: ▇▇▇▇▇, you're allowed to take breaks sometimes. I hope you know that.

HAWKS: ...

[Silence falls on his end. He listens to Shichirou's car, his soothing voice.]

HAWKS: Not really.

[Shichirou chuckles. It's a sad sound.]

SHICHIROU: ...

SHICHIROU: I care about you. You know that at least, yes?

HAWKS: I do.

[More silence.]

HAWKS: I hate this.

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: I hate... it.

SHICHIROU: I know. ... I'm sorry.

HAWKS: I can't take a break... And I don't even know when I'll be able to. IF I'll be able to. Fuck, I might DIE before this ends, I...

[A sharp gasp and he's crying again, swearing to himself.]

HAWKS: I'm sorry...

SHICHIROU: ...

[Silence as he listens to him start to cry again.]

SHICHIROU: ... Do I need to take you off this case?

[He says it as gently as he can manage.]

[That sobers Hawks' thoughts for a moment, somewhat.]

HAWKS: No...

[He breathes the word out, wiping his face and forcing himself back together.]

HAWKS: No. No, I'm the best fit for it and we're already this far and... No.

HAWKS: ...

HAWKS: 'm just drunk and high and shit don't... Just. Just ignore me, alright...

SHICHIROU: I have no intentions of ever ignoring you, love.

[Another soft sigh.]

SHICHIROU: I'll keep that in mind, however. No need for any rash actions, I'll keep quiet... I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me, ▇▇▇▇▇.

[He makes a pained sound, but nods.]

HAWKS: Still don't love that you call me that...

SHICHIROU: Sorry, sorry... Habit.

[A few seconds of silence, then:]

SHICHIROU: Do you have food at home? I can pick something up for you if you'd like. You should eat something small at least, it'll help absorb the drugs in your system.

HAWKS: It's fine. 's whatever....

Nah, I don't have much here... nothin I want, at least... Just.. pick up whatever, I'll eat it...

...

▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇.

[Shichirou chuckles a little, fond.]

SHICHIROU:  ▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, too.

HAWKS: Are you gonna be here soon...

SHICHIROU: Few more minutes...

HAWKS: Good... okay.. thank you.

SHICHIROU: Of course.

HAWKS: ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇ ...

SHICHIROU: ▇ ▇▇▇▇ ▇▇▇, too.

I'm almost at the door.

[A few more seconds of silence and Hawks hangs up.]

#shichirou.log #administration.arc #nurturance.arc

[captaindeanwinchesterforever]

Don’t Leave Me pt. 2

I just want to thank all of you who like to read my writing. I appreciate all the support! I hope y'all like this one. Love you guys!

Pairing: None at the moment *wink wink*

Warnings: some angst, some fluff, and a little bit of cussing

Summary: You are left having to deal with the aftermath of Gabriel’s death, but thank goodness you have a knight in shining armor.

Word count: 2,180

        I pulled into the garage of the bunker and parked my truck beside the Impala. I shut the engine off and sat there a few seconds to collect my thoughts. I got out of my truck and started to open the door to the bunker when I heard laughing and celebrating. It sounded like a fucking party. I was aggravated, but I knew that these people we brought back to this world didn’t kill Gabriel, so I didn’t need to take my anger out on them. I opened the door to see everyone having a great time. There was beer and food, people laughing and smiling at the victory they just had. I couldn’t be a part of the celebration, so I kept my head down and headed straight to my room. I hoped that Dean and Sam wouldn’t notice I was back. As long as I could stay out of their sight, I would be okay.

           “(Y/N)! Wait, please.” I forgot about the angel… I just kept walking, but Cas caught up with me and grabbed my wrist to stop me.

           “Cas, please let go of me.” I didn’t mean to snap at him, but I just couldn’t be in that room anymore.

           “I know you are hurting right now. I just want you to know that I am here for you. I’m sor…” I cut him off.

           “Don’t say it. I don’t need that right now.” I turned and glared at him with anger. My expression went from furious to sorrowful in less than a second.

           “I’m sorry, Cas. I know you’re only trying to help me and be a good friend. I really appreciate you being here for me, but I don’t need anyone’s pity. Just know that I love you and you are one of the most important people in my life. I just need some space right now. I’ll be okay.” I smiled and leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. I turned around and made a beeline to my room.

           I walked in and slammed the door behind me. I leaned back against it and slid down to the floor. Tears began to flow from my eyes. I had to put on a good face for the boys, but when I was behind closed doors, I could let everything out.

Sam’s POV

            I looked up when I heard the door open to the bunker. It was (Y/N). She was trying to make her way past everyone, and I assumed that she was making her way to her room. All I wanted to do is comfort her, but I knew how she was, and she wasn’t going to let any weakness show. I heard Cas yell out to her and grab her wrist. I grimaced a little thinking that Cas was about to get decked in the face, but to my surprise she didn’t do anything. I could hear a little bit of their conversation. I heard Cas try to tell her he was sorry, but she cut him off and the look she gave him was terrifying. If looks could kill that one definitely would have. Then I saw (Y/N)’s facial expression change. She regretted what she said to Cas and she said something that I couldn’t hear. She leaned up to Cas’ cheek and gave him a kiss. Then off she went to the only safe place she thought she had left.

           “Cas was real brave grabbing her arm like that.” I looked over and saw Dean standing beside me.

           “Yeah, real brave… I don’t know what to do for her, Dean. I know she wants to be alone, but I can’t just sit here and let her go through this alone. Hell, we both know how it feels to lose someone like that.” I was aggravated with everything going on, but especially that (Y/N) had to lose someone she loved. If I was being completely honest, I was pissed at Gabriel for putting her through this again.

           “I don’t know, Sammy. That’s a bit risky. Don’t get me wrong, I love (Y/N) just as much as the rest of us do but she’s different. She doesn’t like to show weakness. Hell Sam, that was the first time I had ever seen her cry. We’ve all tried to comfort her at some point, and you were able to for a little bit, but we both know that the only one that could calm her down is gone. If you feel like you need to help her then you should do it, but if you do you may not like the answer you get.” Dean has always cautioned me about (Y/N) and how she was, but it’s never scared me away. I know she isn’t like other women and I think that’s why I am drawn to her. I have always had feelings for (Y/N), but she loved Gabriel and I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined that.

           I couldn’t stand there anymore, I had to go help her. I took off through the war room and down the hall way towards (Y/N)’s bedroom. Once I reached her room, I stood there for a second. I could hear something coming from the other side of the door. I put my ear up to it and listened. It was her crying. She was trying to hold her sobs back, but she was failing.

           I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “(Y/N), it’s Sam. I just wanted to come and check on you. Can I please come in?”

(Y/N)’s POV

I was sitting on the floor sobbing when I heard a knock on my door. It startled me a little bit. I should’ve known that someone would come and find me.

           “(Y/N), it’s Sam. I just wanted to come and check on you. Can I please come in?” Of course, it was Sam. I thought I had slipped past him without him seeing me. I got up off the floor and wiped my eyes. I took a few deep breaths and opened the door.

           “Sam, I’m fine. I just want to be alone right now. I don’t want anyone around me right now. I think its best that you leave.” I felt awful being this hateful towards Sam, but he doesn’t need to see me like this. He definitely didn’t need to waste his time on me. I just wanted him to go celebrate and be happy. I went to close the door in his face, but he stopped it with his hand.

           “(Y/N), I just wanted to come and see how you were doing. You were gone for a while and I was worried. I didn’t know where you had gone.” He was so sincere, but I needed him to leave. I wasn’t worth his time or effort. I wasn’t worth fixing.

           “I appreciate that, but I’m good.” I had an agitated tone in my voice. Even with the hateful tone, he was patient.

           “We could just hang out like we used to. It was fun watching movies and talking to you. We used to talk about anything and everything. I just want to help you.” He was trying so hard to help me. I remember how much fun we used to have after I lost Gabriel the first time. Sam was always there. Through my good days and my dark days. I depended on him a little more than I would’ve liked to admit. My feelings for him started to change and I pushed them down. He wouldn’t want this hot mess. He was just being nice, and Sam deserved a whole hell of a lot better than me. As soon as these feelings started, they disappeared, because that’s when Gabriel came back into my life.

           “I don’t need you to save me again, Sam. I definitely don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine.” I sounded like a real bitch. If I didn’t feel bad before, I definitely feel bad now. I could see the annoyed look on his face.

           “(Y/N), listen. I get what you’re going through and I get you want to be alone, but I think being alone is the last thing you need to be right now. All I want to do is help you and all you do is push me away. I see straight through that act you put on for everyone else. I’m your friend (Y/N) and I care about you. So please just let me help you!” Sam had never raised his voice at me before. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but one fell down my cheek. I saw the regret on Sam’s face for what he did. He started to apologize, but I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. He engulfed me in his arms and I finally felt safe again, just like before.

           “I’m sorry, Sam. Can you stay here with me for a little while?” I just wanted his company, nobody else’s just his. Sam shook his head yes and we walked into the room and closed the door behind us.

           Sam and I were laying on our backs staring up at the ceiling of my room. We were just kind of enjoying each other’s company, not really talking until I spoke up.

           “I’m sorry I was so mean to you earlier. I don’t know how to act or feel about what just happened. I want to believe that Gabriel is alive, but I have a gut feeling that he’s actually gone this time. I’m furious with him for doing this to me again, but most importantly I want to kill Michael. I want revenge Sam and I’ve never felt like this before. I’m overwhelmed with all the different thoughts going through my head. What’s even worse is that I have been such an awful friend to you, and you didn’t deserve any of it. Sam, you’re the only one I can be myself with and you have no idea how important that is to me. There are no words to describe how sorry I am to have put you through so much. I don’t deserve to have a friend like you.” I had rolled over on my side facing Sam while I said this. I really didn’t deserve him. The fact he still wanted to help me after I was such a bitch to him made me appreciate him even more. He rolled over to face me and looked at me for a second with his sad puppy dog eyes.

           “(Y/N), you don’t need to be sorry. I don’t blame you for what you said or how you acted. I would have done the same thing. I understand why our friendship changed when Gabriel came back. You loved each other and he had just stepped back into your life. I don’t blame you for wanting to spend all your time with him. You’re very special to me (Y/N) and I just don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone. I was there for you then and I am here for you know. I always will be. As for Michael, he isn’t coming back (Y/N). He is stuck in that other world with Lucifer. Where I hope they’ll rip each other apart.” He reached up and tucked some stray hairs behind my ear. I couldn’t help but smile. Sam made me feel safe and he took care of me.

           “Thank you, Sam.” I smiled at him and nuzzled myself up against his body. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. Right before I fell asleep, I heard him whisper something, but I couldn’t quite make out the words.

Sam’s POV

           (Y/N) snuggled herself up to me and I wrapped my arms around her. I missed this so much. I missed the smell of her hair, how warm her body was against mine, the conversations we used to have, but most importantly I missed her. I felt like I could fly. The smile on my face was never going to leave. (Y/N) deserved so much better than what her life has handed her. She was rough around the edges and often put up a wall to keep people out, but under all that she had the most beautiful soul. I had never had feelings like this for any other woman, she was everything to me.

           I could tell (Y/N) was starting to fall asleep, so I pulled her in closer. Her face was buried into the crook of my neck. Her breathing started to slow, and I could tell she had finally fallen asleep. I kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I promise to always take care of you and never leave you. I love you, (Y/N). I always have.”

           I could feel my eyes starting to get heavy. I didn’t want to leave her, so I rested my head on her pillow and drifted off to sleep.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural fandom #supernatural gabriel #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #castiel #spn #spn fanfic #spnfandom #SPNFamily #spn gabriel #gabriel fanfic #gabriel fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction

[siodymph]

Hey guys! I’m super excited to announce I just completed my first commission! 

This is for @danvssomethingorother who asked for an AU where Peter Quill was picked up by Rocket and Groot instead of Yondu. It was a lot of fun to write!

If you’d like you can continue reading it under the cut. Or over on my AO3!

And if you’re interested in getting a commission of your own you can check out my information here!

“Three’s A Crowd” 

Rating: general audiences

Word Count: 3173

It was supposed to be a simple mission. Go to Terra. Pick up some snot-nosed little brat named Peter Quill. Bring him to Ego, wherever the hell that was. Make a shit-load of money. How hard could it be? It was just baby-sitting.

Unfortunately… nobody told Rocket or Groot that the kid they were picking up was a complete basket-case. The kid was a total mess. All screaming and crying and kicking and punching, lots of punching.

“Holy shit kid! Will you just calm down alre-”

Rocket had been reaching out a hand only to have it slapped out of the way.

“No! Stay away! Get away from me!” The kid shouted hysterically. Backing into the corner of the ship like some feral animal.

As soon as he had been teleported on-board the kid had taken off running and shouting. Working together, Rocket and Groot had corralled him into one of the storage rooms but Peter didn’t look like he was going to cooperate. “Don’t touch me!”

Groot gave the boy a sad face and reached out a hand. “I am groot?”

“I don’t give a shit who you are! Stay away from me!” Peter cried out, hitting Groot’s arm repeatedly until he finally pulled back.

Turning to Rocket, he made a winning noise as he rubbed his assaulted arm and looked back to the boy.

“Yeah? Well what do’ya want me to do about it?” Rocket groaned. The kid had been on board for a total of four minutes and already he was more trouble than he was worth.

Maybe they could leave him in here for a while, let him cool down? Then after getting some shut-eye they could start again fresh. They hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell Peter what they were doing, as soon as he’d been transported to the ship he was in fight-mode. He doubted the boy had remembered a word either of them said. But maybe he’d be able to shut-up and listen in a couple hours?

Not willing to come up with another plan, Rocket tugged Groot towards the door. “Come on! Kid wants to act like a spaz, he can act like a fricken’ spaz. We’ll deal with this later.”

Groot was stubborn to move, he even tried to give Rocket his sad-eyes, but eventually Rocket got him leave with the promise that they’d talk to the kid after he calmed down.

However, as soon as Rocket had the door open, the kid was off like a flash out of the storage room and down the connector hall.

“Hey! Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Rocket demanded, immediately going after the boy. As he ran, he whipped back around to Groot. “Go put locks on everything! And disable anything he can get his grubby little hands on!”

“I am groot?”

“No I don’t need any help! He’s just one little kid, how much trouble could he be?” Rocket shouted as he bolted after the kid. It looked like he was heading for the same room he’d been transported in, shit.

“I am groot!”

“Yeah? Well nobody asked you! Just make sure he can’t get off the ship, or break anything important.”

“I am groot!” Groot replied with a huff as he began walking to the cockpit to put the ship on lock-down.

Rocket caught up with the boy in his workshop. Peter found one of his digital drawing panels and was holding it like a life line. The kid must have thought it could control the ship. He kept furiously trying to type and pressing random buttons. When nothing happened he started punching it.

“Hey! HEY! Hands off! That’s expensive!”

But the kid could hardly care. He just kept hitting it and typing in stuff like ‘Return to Earth. Take me to Earth!! Take me home.’

“Knock it off will you?!”

“NO!” Peter shouted, hitting it a couple more times before looking at Rocket wildly. “If… If you don’t take me back to earth, right now, I’m gonna break this!”

“What?!” Rocket couldn’t believe this kid…

“Take me home now or I’m busting this thing!”

“Ugh! I’m not putting you back on Terra! So just stop being a little twerp and put that thing down!” Rocket’s patience for this brat was thinning by the second. “We are not doing this, just give up already! You’re not going back!”

Peter looked at Rocket dead in the eyes. Staring at him. Daring him.

Then he threw the panel at the ground as aggressively as he could.

It didn’t break completely. The screen cracked and one of its corners got crushed in, it would still work. But as soon as that panel hit the ground Rocket saw red.

“That’s it!”

Rocket felt something prickle on the back of his neck. And just as he was about to lunge at the kid a giant wooden arm grew in between them.

“I! AM! GROOT!”

All at once whatever fire burning in Rocket was being doused, and when he saw the scared look on the kid’s face he knew the kid was losing his fight too.

“Who? … What the hell are you people?” Peter asked, breathing heavily, lost.

“I am groot.” Groot answered softly.

“Come on…” Rocket said, still breathing a little weird from their almost-fight. “Let’s get out of here, kid. Groot and I, we’ll explain everything to ya’.”

Rocket was still pissed. Because of that brat now one of his favorite drawing panels for blueprints had a shattered screen. But at least the kid had finally calmed the fuck down. And as the trio left his workshop, Rocket remembered just how lucky he was to have Groot around. Odds were, he’d never be able to run a job like this without him and his eons-worth of patience.

They took Peter up to the cockpit so he could look out the window, really take in space in all its emptiness. As they were fighting their ship had already gone through a jump and left Terra far behind. Up there, they told Peter everything they knew. The Ravager’s deal. Ego. The trip. Peter listened with some confusion, and a little curiosity, but mostly a numbed-shock.

“My mom… My mom kept saying my Daddy was going to come for me… Right before she-” Whatever Peter wanted to say next he stopped himself, curling up into a ball in his chair.

“Oh, so this Ego-guy’s your dad?” Rocket asked. He honestly hadn’t put two and two together. Ego just made it seem like he was looking for some kids. Not his own son.

But Peter didn’t answer. He just sank down into his chair looking sullen. Apparently he was done talking.

Eventually they left to go get some food from the storage room. The kid looked thin as a rail, Rocket noted, and they tried to get him to eat. But even when quiet Peter proved to be stubborn little shit. He did eat a little, but not nearly enough to put Groot at ease, if the sad eyes he kept giving Rocket were anything. And when they finally got the kid to lie down and get some sleep that worried-look had yet to leave Groot’s face. Rocket told himself he didn’t care, but even he made sure to leave an extra bag of snacks next to Peter as he fell into a fitful sleep…

In those first couple days Peter kept to himself. Staying quiet as the dead and listening to his terran music with his headphones blocking out the world. He’d find these hiding spots throughout the ship. Under Rocket’s workstation, the weird gap behind the pilot’s seat, pretty much every nook and cranny on the engine room. As long as he wasn’t breaking anything Rocket didn’t really care. At least he was staying out of the way.

One night though, Rocket woke up to hear the kid bawling his eyes out. Again. Grumbling, he was just about to get off his cot when he heard Groot speaking gently.

“I am groot.”

There was a couple sniffles, then he heard an indignant little reply. “What- what the hell does that even mean?”

“I am groot…”

Rocket jumped down and joined the two. Groot was sitting next to the kid who was curled up into a ball on his cot. Refusing to be touched by anyone. “He said, ‘It’ll be ok.’. If you really wanted to know.”

“How do you know that?” Peter asked.

Rocket gave Groot a look before trying to explain. “You live around him long enough, you start to pick up what he’s saying. It’s kinda weird, and it takes time.”

Peter shook his head. “No! I mean how do you people know it’s going to be ok? It’s never going to be ok ever again!”

“I am groot?”

“Now he’s asking why you’re so sure-”

“Because I stuck in outer space with a talking raccoon and a tree!” Peter shouted, pulling his legs even tighter to his chest. And something seemed to break in his voice. “I’m never going to see my home again! And- And I’ll never see my mom again!”

When Peter started sobbing again, Groot stretched one of his arms out to hug the boy. And this time Peter let him, not even caring about being touched. If anything he actually listed towards Groot’s arm.

Rocket just watched the whole ordeal. The kid was right though. Terra was far behind them now. But he really hated seeing this kid all mopey. It made his face real ugly and he’d make these pathetic noises. That wasn’t the real reason but those were the only ones Rocket let himself think about. No point in admitting he could be getting attached to this kid they were eventually going to leave behind.

Still, Rocket wanted the kid to stop crying just as much as Groot. “Hey? If it makes you feel better Terra’s a dump way out in no-man’s land. You’re better off without it. And hey! Maybe this Ego-guy might come back and pick up your mom too! I mean, if he actually liked her enough to go have a kid with her and all.”

Peter shook his head and his whole body trembled. “-Can’t! She can’t! My mom was sick for a long time… That night, when you guys took me? That was her last- She-” He kept hiccupping as he tried to talk and eventually he just started crying again.

But Rocket finally connected the dots. “So you mom… She ugh- passed?”

Peter didn’t answer, only crawled a little closer to Groot who slowly moved to hug the boy fully.

“Did you have anyone else to look after you? On Terra?”

“My grandpa.” Peter said with a whimper. “But he left me in the hallway. And he wouldn’t even let me come back in…”

“And that’s why you ran out into the woods?” Rocket concluded.

Peter nodded before hiding his face away.

The rest of the night, they stayed by Peter’s side. Talking softly, letting the kid rant, letting the kid cry. And when he finally fell back asleep his face had been wet with tears and a weird pit formed in Rocket’s guts. He really didn’t like seeing this kid so sad…

By morning though, it seemed like something finally changed. For starters Peter joined them up in the cockpit. He still had his headphones in but he made no move to go scurrying under the seats. And for the first time in the entire trip, Peter was the one to begin talking to them, not the other way around.

This trend continued on for several days. And one night in particular, Peter looked up at Rocket as they both climbed onto their cots to rest.

“You know I think I actually like you guys.”

“Woah really?”

Peter nodded as he crawled into his bed. “Yeah, you guys never give me crap for listening to my music all day. And it feels like we talk about real stuff. Not just trying to keep me distracted. Like you guys really want me around…”

For once, Rocket wasn’t sure how to respond. On one hand, he kept trying to see this kid as just a paycheck in the making. However the more time he spent around this kid the more he felt like something was growing. Something that really shouldn’t be growing towards a kid he’d probably never see again…

As they got closer to Ego, these doubts in Rocket’s mind only seemed to get worse. And despite never saying anything to Peter, the kid figured out that they were almost there. He started getting all mopey again and tried hiding all day. And while one part of Rocket almost preferred this, it could make saying goodbye all the more easier, another part of him just felt hurt even worse.

Still though, he had a job to do, and he planned to do it. He had a deal to finish.

 At least that was what he thought before. When they were just days away from Ego, a Ravager warship suddenly came down on them and blocked their path.

Not even getting time to reply over radio, a figure was teleported on board. A man with blue skin and a metallic fan imbedded into his scalp. And an arrow in his quiver that had decimated thousands…

“Gentlemen.” The man said, speaking with a twang unnervingly similar to a dialect of English on Terra’s southern US region.

“Yondu.” Rocket replied currently. “What are you doing here?”

“And I take that one’s Peter.” Yondu chose to ignore Rocket and gestured to the boy. The boy in return stuck his head out from behind Groot to give him a scowl. “Nice kid you got there.”

“Fuck off!” Peter shouted.

Yondu seemed hardly phased though. He just leered at the kid, grinning. “Hear you’re Terran. And you know what they say, Terran’s good eatin’. Especially the little ones.”

With wide eyes and suddenly much paler, Peter ducked down behind Groot. And when Yondu started to laugh Groot gave him a judgmental look.

“I am groot.”

“Yeah? Well I thought that was pretty funny. Why don’t you go take terran-boy there for a walk?” Yondu replied with a grin. Only to have it melt away as he looked back to Rocket. “We got something we ought to talk about.”

Groot looked unsure, but Rocket silently waved him and Peter out of the room. And once they were completely alone Yondu breathed a heavy sigh. It was almost like watching a transformation. One moment he was a ruthless, somewhat-charming Captain of the Ravengers, the next he was this sunken, haunted man.

“Alright what the hell is going on here?” Rocket demanded. “I thought we had a deal. You wanted me to help you grab a kid off Terra, I grabbed the kid off Terra. I did everything you asked me to!”

Yondu let him speak, but when the time came for answers he stilled seemed reluctant to talk. “I’ll give ya’ credit, you did your job… Problem is I don’t think even you’d wanna go through with this.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Rocket snapped.

“That boy.” Yondu said. “You like him?”

Now that he was put on the spot Rocket felt his confidence falter for a few seconds. How did he feel about Peter? How did he really feel? “I don’t know. He’s a good kid, has a lot of fight in him. Thinks he’s real smart and sometimes he’s right. He’s not the worst kid in the galaxy. But it’s not like I’ve been going outta my way to bond with this kid, especially since we’re supposed to be dropping him off soon.”

Ever since Rocket saw the Ravager’s ship, a piece of doubt had begun growing in him. “We are dropping him off soon, right?”

Yondu leaned in close, voice barely above a whisper. “If you care about that boy you’ll keep him away from Ego. He ain’t what he seems and that’s all I’ll say about that.”

Rocket was at a loss for a second. “So what the hell am I supposed to do with him?! You realize how much time I’ve spent dragging him across the cosmos!”

“Drag him through more! I don’t care what you do make sure Ego doesn’t find’em again!” Yondu snarled, still keeping his voice low. And after a moment Yondu sighed and tried to calm down. “Alight, if you really don’t want the kid I can take him in. Ravagers ain’t a real family but we stick together. I can find some place to put him.”

For a single moment Rocket was tempted to say yes. But as he did he started thinking more about Peter. How he bobbed his head and mouthed the words as he listened to his terran music. How he hung off Groot’s branches when he got bored. How he got this funny look on his face whenever he was focusing. How he got this fiery look in his eyes when he tried to fight. Or even how sometimes Rocket could catch him softly smiling as he fell asleep on his cot. How happy Peter made Groot… And instead of taking Yondu up on his offer he found himself saying,

“You don’t have to do that. We can take care of him.”

Yondu frowned and gave him a pointed look. “You sure?”

Rocket really wasn’t sure, but he nodded anyways. “Yeah we should be alright. Just a little change of plans, that’s all.”

“Ok…” Yondu said. Backing away from Rocket slowly. “I just wanted to warn you fellas about Ego.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure Peter stays away from him.”

“Good… Good…” Yondu seemed unsure what to say next, but just before he left he turned back. “You’re a good man Rocket, you know that? I don’t care what you or anyone else says. Be good to the boy…”

And with that, he disappeared in a flash of light, and the Ravager’s ship finally flew away.

“I am groot?”

Rocket turned to see Groot and Peter both waiting by the door.

“Yeah, he’s gone.”

Peter still looked around the room for the blue man before carefully stepping in. “What the hell was that about?”

“Nothing you gotta worry about.” Rocket said, “Just a little change in plans. Apparently we aren’t sending ya to Ego.”

“You’re not?” Peter asked. Rocket couldn’t understand the look that passed Peter’s face. It was several things all at once.

“No… you’re staying with us.”

Rocket was nervous to see how Peter would react, but what he hadn’t been expecting was for the kid to start smiling.

“Really?”

“Yep,” Rocket replied. “We were going to send you to Ego but now we can’t. So I guess we’re just gonna keep ya kid.”

“I… I don’t mind.”

Grinning, Peter looked between Rocket and Groot. And Groot bent down two wrap them all in a hug.

“I am groot!”

“Yeah…” Rocket said, almost feeling like laughing. “Couldn’t of said it better myself!”

#gotg #writing commissions #commisions open #peter quill #rocket raccoon #groot #starlord

[skadithegoddess]

Hey girl, can you do 28 and 43 of the NSFW prompt list for Ivar please? :) I love your work!

Soooo I want to apologize for taking so long to write. And I want to say that I don’t know what happened with this, I originally planned to write a long sex scene and then… well, angst happened. Sorry if it isn’t what you expected! Hope you still like it. ALSO, it is very long for a drabble. I have trouble writing short things.Warnings: NSFW, masturbation, angst.

Winterwas almost over; the freezing air was getting warmer by the days. Spring wascoming and with it, the raid season. Ivar, as the new King of Kattegat, had begun to prepare the battles plans as soon as the snow started to melt.

After along and tiring day, you made your way back to your chamber. It was no surpriseto find your husband, sat on the main table next to a crackling fire, headpractically buried into a map. His brows were furrowed and his tongue roamedover his bottom lip. You smiled softly to yourself; you knew him well enough toknow that it was his concentrated face and even if he strongly disagreed, youfound it insanely cute.

He wascompletely absorbed by his work, didn’t even lift his head to acknowledge you.Sighing, you took off your cloak and your boots before slowly approaching him.

“Ivar?”You called to catch his attention, caressing the back of his head.

He onlyhummed; drawing and writing Gods only knew what at the bottom of the map.

“Thesun is almost down.”

“And?”He said, annoyed.

“Andyou’ve been staring at this map more than you’ve been staring at me during thelast few weeks. I’m becoming jealous.” You smirked, playfully pushing his sidewith your hip.

Heglared at you, clearly bothered by your interruption. “This is important. Ineed everything to be perfectly planned. It’s my first raid as King. I can’tfail.”

Youmoved behind him and reached for his braids, undoing them thoroughly. “Youwon’t fail, my love. The Gods are smiling down on you. You’re only exhausting yourselfmore than necessary.”

“I’mfine.” He mumbled.

“Sureyou are.” You mocked him, running your fingers through his hair to untangle hislocks. “Can you just put that away for tonight, please? I’ll cook your favoritefood, then you can share with me your thoughts and plans, and after…” Youleaned to whisper seductively into his ear, “We can take care of each other.”

A laughrumbled into his chest as he muttered something under his breath that soundedlike ‘wanton thing’. You finishedyour work on his hair and left a quick kiss at the top of his head beforesitting down next to him.

“Whatdo you say? You could use some leisure time and I will make it worth your time!” You grinned hopefully.

Hesighed, a little smile still on his lips, “I would love to, kitten, but nottonight. This requires a clear head and I need to finish.”

Ivarturned his full attention back on the map, not even bothering to wait for youranswer. Your smile faded slowly as you stared at him in disbelief. Feelingrejected, you tried your best to push deep down your insecurity and rose onyour feet.

Determined,you walked towards the bed, untied the laces of your dress and took it offwithout a sound. You lay down naked on the bed, snuggling up against the warmand soft furs until you found a comfortable position. You stared at theceiling, smiling to yourself and bit your bottom lip to suppress a giggle. Thesimple thought of what you were about to do was already warming up your body.

Youclosed your eyes and brought your hands to your breasts, softly brushing yourhardening nipples. A quiet sigh fell from your mouth and you looked at Ivar.His back was facing you and there was nothing signalizing that he heard orsensed what happened behind him. You nodded to yourself in approval and spreadyour legs wider. Your hand found its way between your thighs, your fingerseeking for your opening to find a small amount of wetness. As you spread it,your finger bumped into your clit and you couldn’t hold back a gasp. Your eyesdrifted to Ivar in panic; you didn’t want him to see you just yet. And hefortunately didn’t, only his arm moved as he continued writing.

Yourfingers settled on your sensitive nub and began to move in circular motion. Youimagined Ivar’s fingers instead of your own, imagined his icy blue eyes, turnedblack by desire, staring at you from between your legs.

Youtried to quiet every moan threatening to escape your mouth until pleasure wastoo thick to control.

Ivarfroze and his back tensed when you whimpered loudly. 

“Tellme you aren’t doing what I think you’re doing.” His voice was low and held ahint of a threat.

“Ivar…” It was all you could manage. Your entire beingwas aching for him. 

Hishead snapped towards you with a scowl on his face. But it quickly faded whenhis eyes drifted to the hand between your legs. His eyes darkened as his jawdropped.

You letout a breathless giggle and asked, “Doesthis get you hard?”

Heshook his head disapprovingly and sighed, “You are really looking for trouble,pet.”

Heturned his back to you once again. Your plan wasn’t working as you hoped and you knitted your brows in frustration. You forced yourself to slow your fingers, delaying your orgasm. 

“Please, Ivar, come to me, I need you…” You whined shamelessly, trying again to break his resolve to ignore you. 

He tookhis time to neatly fold the map and finish his mead and suddenly pushed backhis chair. There was a loud noise when his body fell on the floor, then crawledand climbed on the bed; he was hovering over you in a blink of eye.

Heslapped your hand away from your cunt, pinned it above your head and you sobbedat the loss of contact. Slithering his hand around your throat, he applied thesmallest amount of pressure and bared his teeth in a cold smile. Your lipsparted reflexively, eyelids heavy as you peered at his handsome face with doeeyes.

“Youknow how I hate to be interrupted when I work, don’t you?” He titled his head, browsfurrowed.

Youcould only nod slowly.

“So, wouldyou care to explain why you’re fucking yourself behind my back like a needywhore? Distracting me when I try so desperately to come up with the beststrategy?” He tightened his grip around your throat slightly, a gestureimplying that he was deadly serious.

Thatwasn’t the reaction you expected and you immediately felt small and guilty foryour selfish interruption. But you shut it down quickly.

Younarrowed your eyes at him, “I only want my husband. You know, the one who issailing to a foreign and hostilecountry for Gods only know how long. I’m fucking scared, Ivar, don’t you see that?I’m scared that you will never come back to me. I just want to enjoy our timetogether before it is too late.” Your voice trembled and tears built up in youreyes.

Hisface softened right away. He released his grip around your throat and your armand cupped your jaw between his two hands, lovingly stroking it with histhumbs. “I will always come back to you, my love.”

You letout a dry laugh, “Not if you die.”

“Iwon’t die! The Gods are with me, you said it yourself.” He insisted.

Exhaling a shaky breath, you continued, fighting off your tears. “I’veheard men talking about those Saxons and what they do to our people whenthey’re captured. Ivar, you’re King now! You are their first target, what ifthey capture you?” An unpleasant thrill run down your spine at the mere thoughtof it. “They would do horrible things to you. Torture you in the most painful waysand I just can’t bear it, it hurts me to even speak about it.”

“Thendon’t speak about it! Don’t even think about it because it won’t happen.” Ivarpressed his lips against yours as if he wanted to emphasize his words.

Youmelted against him, throwing your arm around his neck to press him harderagainst your skin and deepened the kiss. When you parted out of breath, youmurmured, “How can you be so sure?”

Awicked grin crooked his lips, “Because, my love,” He was quick to take histunic off and slithered his way down your body, grabbed your legs to settlethem on his broad shoulders. “I willbe the one to do horrible things to them.” He growled against your slit,sending delicious vibrations to your neglected core.

Therewas no stopping your mewls of pleasure when he nuzzled your sensitive clit ashis tongue lazily dragged left and right against your folds.

“Now,stop worrying, my Queen, and let me take care of you.” He smirked cockily, blueeyes glittering, before nestling his head against your slit.

Andwith that, all your negative thoughts evaporated. At least for now.

#ivar imagine #ivar drabble #ivar's heathen army #vikings imagine #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson

[starshipcaptainjojo]

SPN Series Finale As Written By A Tumblr-Adjacent

OR Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647983

-

The end of the world started on a Tuesday, because that seemed thematically appropriate. In the five hours since Castiel- his Castiel- had gone to Superhell, Dean Winchester had sat on the floor of what looked like a warehouse and contemplated his existence. 

Around an hour before dawn, Sam had shown up.

“Well today sucked,” Sam sunk down against the wall next to him, unaware that Cas was in superhell and Dean was having an existential crisis. “Hey,” Sam nudged Dean with his shoulder, “Dean. Dean listen…” When his brother didn’t respond Sam let his head hit the concrete wall with a thunk, “Dean, we don’t have time for the existential crisis right now. I want to talk about reality.”

Dean was always having an existential crisis, so even when Sam didn’t know what was going on, he could count on Dean to have an emotional crisis about it.

“Cas is gone,” Dean said, with the same emotional maturity of so many years ago, sitting in a different concrete bunker and thinking about Cas being gone for the first or second time. “For real this time.”

“Right,” Sam agreed with the longsuffering tone of someone who recognized the conversation from the multitudes of conversations just like it that they’d had. “Well, I’m sure he’ll show up again-”

“He loves me, Sammy. He said so.” Dean stared at his clasped hands, processing.

“What?” Sam’s jaw dropped, “you’re kidding, he actually said it?” Sam nodded thoughtfully, lips turning down as his eyebrows went up. “Well shit. Nice one, Cas.”

Dean swallowed, “he’s dead.”

“So what else is new,” Sam snorted, “we’ll get him back, then you can tell him you want to hunt monsters together forever, and we can talk about Eileen.”

“What about her?” Dean let himself be distracted by Sam’s life, per usual.

“I’m going to marry her. Just a thing. You won’t even see it.” Sam nudged him again. “But that’s after we get Cas back.”

“He’s in superhell,” Dean covered his face with his hands. “He’s in superhell with Death.”

“Death can’t kill him if they’re in superhell.” Sam leapt up and held his hand out. “Come on, we’ve broken into hell before. I’ll be mad at you for being such a drama whore once we get Cas back.”

“Deal.” Dean had no other ideas.

 There was a lot of research to do, and Dean couldn’t think about it, so he went to a local fair to distract himself.

There was a flying ride that said ‘fly like an angel’ some angel food cake, some fake wings to win at the prize booth and a craft table where you could make a couples’ frame.

Dean entered the pie eating contest to not think about anything but pie.

“Some of y’all are here to win the money! Others the glory of pie-eating supremacy!” The MC clapped her hands and winked lasciviously at Dean, who forced a wan smile. “Some of y’all just want to impress somebody important, hm?” She licked her lips at Dean.

Her lips weren’t as plush as Cas’s.

Dean shoved his face directly into his pie, and pie into his piehole.

Dean did not win the pie-eating contest, but his pie-eating neighbor also didn’t mention when he’d started crying halfway through eating his second pie and his third-place prize was a puppy, so he still called it a pie-eating victory.

Sam called right as Dean was about to buy too much alcohol and then possibly drive drunk. He had learned nothing in his decades of being alive.

“So I need you to help me with something,” Sam began, “how soon can you get back here?”

“Right now.” Dean handed both his beers to an excited teenager, said “Happy 21st birthday” regardless of the kid's age and got into the Impala. “On my way, Sam.”

He drove too fast and didn’t think about superhell.

“Superhell is being here while Cas is in superhell,” Dean muttered to his new dog as he parked the car. “So superhell is a stupid concept and I hate it. Who even came up with a superhell?”

The dog wagged its tail, because it was a good dog.

“I already love you. Why’s it so easy to tell you that?” Dean ruffled the dog’s ears. “Superhell is not being able to say it when it counts.”

He stomped into their base and almost ran directly into Sam.

“I found a spell to let us call Chuck!” Sam was excited like a giant baby moose. “If we call the operator on a cell phone, we get a straight line to God!” Sam put a spell scroll in Dean’s face.

“I got a dog?” Dean offered as his new puppy immediately leapt on Sam affectionately.

“The hell?” Sam began petting the dog while Dean read the spell.

“The hell?” Dean echoed, reading the passage, which indeed implied heavily that they could trigger pressing and holding the zero button on any cell phone to call Chuck directly if the spell was completed with powerful enough components.

The ritual involved burning something precious to them.

There were only a few things they loved.

“I can’t do it,” Dean was saying, staring at the only viable option.

“Dean, this is for Cas!” Sam wasn’t very convinced. “Maybe we can try something else? Burning something else?”

“No, Sam. This is the only option” Dean clutched the can of gasoline to his chest.

His dog barked once, worried.

“You can’t do this,” Sam held Dean’s shoulders. “We can think of something else!”

The dog whined, looking nervously up at them.

“No, Sammy.” Dean clenched his teeth. “We gotta do this. For Cas. He woulda done it for us.”

He poured the gasoline and lit the match, his dog cowered from their myriad emotions.

“I’m sorry.” Dean ignited the gasoline.

They watched the Impala burn together, the dog hiding behind their legs.

“Say the incantation, Sam.”

Between the sobs, Sam Winchester recited the spell giving them a direct line to God. He wiped his eyes as their phones both lit up red, gold and blue.

“Do it,” he handed the phone to Dean.

Dean hit the button.

“No I’m not bringing Castiel back from superhell,” Chuck said when he answered. “So don’t try to convince me.”

“Okay fuck you,” Dean began diplomatically with the experience and reverence of someone who had averted the apocalypse multiple times. 

Chuck hung up on him.

Dean called back.

Chuck sent him to voicemail.

“I got God’s voicemail,” he told Sam, who made an exasperated sound and used his own phone to call Chuck.

“I said I wouldn’t bring Castiel back from Superhell,” Chuck told Sam directly.

“I’m not asking for that.” Sam looked at Dean, then smiled sadly. “I want to trade myself for Castiel. Send me to Superhell.”

Dean lunged for Sam, but Sam was like a foot taller than him and held him away with his free hand with ease. He’d had decades to perfect the game of keepaway.

“I can’t,” Chuck clucked his tongue, “I can only send people who have admitted to a great and terrible love to Superhell.”

“I love Dean, which sucks,” Sam reminded.

“Yeah but like, not like that-”

“Just send me to Superhell. I was supposed to go to hell years ago anyway, and if Dean and Cas are here together… well then it’ll be worth it. I don’t want to keep hunting, and like you said, I don’t-” he choked and looked at Dean, who was scowling at him and still struggling to steal the phone. “-I don’t have a great love.”

“What about Eileen?” Chuck asked, because he knew everything and was God.

“Well we’d probably break up anyway. Or get old and pass on hunting to our kids and what kind of future is that?” Sam made eye contact with Dean, who had frozen. “What would the point of that be?”

“What are you saying?” Dean’s voice was soft, angry and scared and sad.

“I’m saying I’m tired, Dean.” Sam held the phone close to his head. “Chuck I want you to trade me for Cas, and I’ll go to Superhell.”

“I mean deal,” Chuck agreed, “the way I understand it, Castiel in superhell is what would have defeated me anyway. Done.”

“Sam-” Dean pulled back to speak the words they’d needed their whole lives.

“Don’t tell me you love me, Dean.” Sam smiled, tears gathering in his eyes, “or he’ll send you to Superhell.”

“Sammy-” Dean’s anguished word was crushed as Sam hugged him.

“I love you Dean, be happy.” Sam smiled tightly, hugging his brother until Dean’s arms wrapped around him in return. Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to speak. The arms around him changed, tightened, became different.

“I love you,” Dean whispered into a warm collarbone.

“That’s a relief,” Castiel’s voice said, and Dean yanked himself back in shock.

Castiel, as he had always been with his dirty trenchcoat and beautiful eyes and shapely mouth looked back at Dean gently and conjured an exhausted smile.

“I meant that ‘I love you’ for Sam, actually.” Dean chocked on a laugh as Castiel’s soft expression fell. Cas tried to pull away but Dean’s hands on his coat were firm. “But I’ve got one for you too, Cas. Then we gotta go figure out how to get Sam out of Superhell.”

“Wait what?” Castiel began, but then Dean was kissing him, pulling him close by the lapels of his dirty trenchcoat.

 Halfway around the world, Chuck crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair, looking out over the highlands of Scotland. 

“I hate humans but damn, those Winchesters are something huh?” He smirked at Death, who shrugged noncommittally and poured him some tea.

“Are you interested in dying after all, then?” She picked up her own tea and sipped it.

“Nah, dying seems so mundane. Happens practically every day. No, I think I’m going to Superhell. There’s nothing in there and I want Dean Winchester and Castiel to really have an interesting time when they try to open it up and get Sam back.”

“You’re a dick,” Sam said, sitting in his own chair, “what are you even up to?”

“I was thinking about what you said, Sammy.” Chuck sipped his tea noisily just to watch Sam flinch, “about what’s the point of it all. Like what are you even going to do with yourself if you guys did beat me?”

Sam didn’t answer.

“Exactly,” Chuck agreed. “You don’t have a future here. You asked to go to Superhell.”

“Where I also have no future.”

“Wrong!” Chuck leaned forward. “Superhell is empty. A void. There’s no future waiting for you there. You’d have to make it.”

Sam stared blankly at him.

“Wow I thought you were the smart brother?” Chuck scoffed a derisive laugh, which Death smiled indulgently at. “Sam Winchester,” he began, leaning forward again. “I have a giant empty limitless superhell I’ve never even bothered terraforming.”

“Yeah?” Sam frowned.

“Sam Winchester, how do you feel about learning to be God?”

#supernatural #supernatural finale #fix-it #crack #this is bad #i won't apologize though it's no worse than what actually happened #supernatural fanfic #i actually wrote some! #eight years after stopping watching the show!~ #dean winchester #sam winchester #chuck shurley #a dog #death #superhell #at the very end i had to get a little serious #because i once loved Supernatural #I once loved Supernatural SO MUCH #and now here we are

[anontrolls]

> Tink: Homecoming.

It’s noon, when you finally come back.

You timed it carefully - you’ve been gone for nearly a perigee, a little bit more patience isn’t much to ask from yourself. It’s the day after one of the only two nights of the week you can count on Izzy having actual customers, and the sun is at its zenith. You fish the key out from behind the loose stone in the arch of Izzy’s entry way.

Your fingers are so clumsy that you can’t fit the key into the lock properly the first three times, and on the fourth, you tip forward when the door opens in front of you anyways.

Izzy catches you by the arm, narrowly avoiding getting impaled by your horns. You look up, and you can tell even through the filmy quality that your vision has taken on that there’s bags under his eyes. He isn’t even pretending that he’s been sleeping properly.

Isn’t even pretending that he knows how to talk properly, either, given the way he’s jawing at air like a damn goldfish. You wait for the first half-concocted syllable to crack out of his throat before you interrupt, squinting up at him accusingly.

“You smell fucking amazing,” you inform him, “Like four courses with dessert,” and, shit. That is not what you meant to say. You were thinking it, yes, but you weren’t supposed to say that.

“I - I don’t - I can pre-pretend you didn’t,” Izzy offers, and you thump your head against his chest. Drat. You weren’t supposed to say that either. You fucking hate trying to think through the Messiahs-damned hunger fogging over your brain.

It’s even harder when you’re supposed to be trying to move. Everything is shifting, and you can’t quite decipher which way it’s going until everything tips completely sideways and you realize Izzy’s flopped you down onto the couch. The front door is closing, lock clicking, and it feels like it only takes the span of one blink before you’re getting hefted up again, head lolling against Izzy’s shoulder.

Mm. It’s nice to move without having to move, you decide.

Izzy huffs a laugh that sounds more than a little bit hysterical, and you’re too tired to move your arms, so you gnaw at his shoulder in revenge instead. He’s not wearing his over-vest, though, and you belatedly realize that this was a terrible idea because you’re not sure you want to let go.

“P-please don’t eat me,” comes from somewhere above you and a little to the left. You blink slowly, lean your head back, and shove your own wrist into your mouth instead. Doesn’t taste nearly as good, but counter-intuitively is probably less likely to lead to your eventual death. 

You blink again, and you’re staring at the ceiling with Izzy dragging your hand out of your mouth as you moan in protest. He’s stronger than you at the moment, though, and when you squeeze your teeth in harder he just jabs you in the side, right under where your mushrooms start, and it’s enough to make you gasp plaintively - coincidentally enough for him to get your hand out. You mull that over for a second. Clever. You can’t muster up the strength to get your hand back up from where it’s flopped, but you can at least glare at it.

You turn your head to do so, and promptly change your mind to glare at Izzy instead. He’s just - bustling around, like you’re not laying here on this - what are you laying on? It feels like a seating platform, and the carving knife on the side table informs you that it’s probably Izzy’s block. You could stab him with that. Then you could eat him.

You’re too tired to do that, though, because, like you were thinking earlier, you are laying here wasting away while Izzy just clomps around the room like a particularly graceless and passive-aggressive giraffe. What right’s he got to be passive-aggressive? You’re the one starving to your second death. Besides, you’re better at it.

The thought of eating Izzy keeps trailing its tantalizing way back across your mind, and you let yourself nightdream (daydream, you suppose, given it’s the afternoon) for a few glorious moments. You’re just about in the middle of the bit where you bite into his arm (he has a lot of muscles in his arms, you think, which would be particularly delicious) when something yanks at your feet and you yelp in distress.

“Iz- Izzy!” you call for help, and - no, that’s him doing the pulling. You squint, confused, and he waves one of your boots at you. Great. That wasn’t worth actually stuttering at him over. You’re the one that’s good at talking. And he’s still close enough that you can smell him. It’s not fair.

“Izzy,” you complain, and blink in surprise when you’re yanked at again. Right. Two feet. Two boots. Yes. That makes sense. “Izzy, I’m hungry.”

“I - I don’t have anything right - right now,” he hedges, edging over to your side. His stupid hair is covering his blue eye. Why’ve you always got to be staring at the Mal-colored purple one?

Regardless, the reply is unacceptable. You grope weakly at him and get a handful of pants fabric. Tugging at it is like trying to pull at a damn tree. You should know, you’d gone all the way to the jungle treeline while you were gone. It was horrid and wet.

“I’m hungry,” you repeat, “And you smell like you come from somewhere with five stars to its name, which - which is absolutely not fair, because you look like a two at best. But you don’t need all your bits, okay? Listen - listen, this is important. You don’t need all your parts.”

He wraps a hand around your wrist, and you don’t quite hold back the whimper. He’s warm, and he smells mouth-watering, and you can practically feel the blood pulsing beneath his skin, hot and-

“I’ll go to-tomorrow,” he assures you, brows furrowed, “When - when the sun sets. I - I promise, Tink, I - I just - I didn’t know when you’d be back - I don’t have anything for you n-now.”

He just peels your fingers off of his pants, and presses you back into the reclining platform by your shoulders. The pressure is burning handprints into your skin, cloak and scarf be damned. Actually be damned, you realize belatedly, because you’re not wearing them anymore, just a loose undershirt that’s light enough to barely even brush against your mushrooms.

“You’re a selfish bastard,” you groan, “Fuckin’. Feral cullbait. Asshole. I hate you. Why are you so awful?”

He winces, and you lift your lips back into a snarl when you see the way he’s cringing into his collar. Hasn’t got his vest on, though, so he can’t hide practically his whole face. Loser. He doesn’t even have to hide his face, and he still does it. Meanwhile you’re stuck with a veil for the rest of your damn life. Unlife. Whatever.

“S-sorry,” he mumbles, and you want to say something back, something terrible, something that’ll make him go away and stop touching you and being all warm and filled with blood right next to you and torturing you -

You blink, though, and the next time you open your eyes, he’s gotten away from you. Somewhat, anyways - he’s passed out in a wooden chair on the other side of the room, facing you but much too far to reach.

“Fff- fuck,” you snarl, and twist yourself off the platform anyways - your shoulder hits the edge of the side table when your arm remains pulled across to the seat-back of the platform, trapped by a handcuff wrapped around your wrist, though, and the delicate frills of a mushroom split like a wound. You make a wordless sound, sharp and mournful, and claw at your wrist desperately, twisting away from the offending furniture.

Izzy scuffles behind you, thumping across the floor until he’s looming behind you and you cringe into the platform.

“Don’t touch me,” you sob, pulling at your arm, “Don’t fuckin’ - don’t - I hate you - should never’ve come back - you’re just locking me up again, you stupid - you - I’m not some animal -”

Hands wrap around your waist like iron bars and you screech as Izzy lifts you back onto the platform. You try to thrash, but all you manage is to punt him in the knee - not a particularly effective attack when you’re wearing just socks.

Izzy backs away as soon as he puts you down, making some sort of weird hissing noise - you can’t tell if he’s trying to talk or signalling for you to shut up, so you narrow your eyes at him and hiss back, louder and rattling.

He flinches, full-bodied, and stumbles back towards the door.

“It’s - I’ll go - you tried to b-bite me,” he trips over excuses, “I’m - I’m going to go - get you food, Tink, it’s - it’s fine, it’ll be f-fine-”

He’s still stuttering when he shuts the door behind him, lock clicking, leaving you chained to the stupid couch like a dog he’s left in a kennel.

You make like a dog and howl into the pillows until you’re too exhausted to stay awake.

#ic #cherie tinker #izopop hollie #drabbles #uhhhhhh cw a lot of stuff #cannibalism mention #zombie mention #body horror mention #LOOK JUST DON'T READ IT IF YOU HAVE SQUICKS #IT'S FUCKED UP IN A FEW DIF WAYS

[space-cops]

Every odd question fir Sangriel!!!

boyhowdy text wall ahoy. i didnt bother editing this or reading over it so oops theres gonna be mistakes. answers below the cut 0:

1) Sangriel Amato Heartspell. His name doesn't mean much of anything, besides Amato meaning beloved in Italian. San's surname was originally Keldaris (of Loretta Keldaris, wife of Gia Realdor, who took on her surname) until he changed it after his family's. problematic escapades. 

3) He had a pretty fucking nice childhood. He grew up well off, took all sorts of classes and extracuriculars, all that shit. San's actually a skilled ballerino and is quite fond of dance as a whole. One of his fondest memories is his mother helping him with stage makeup for the first time. San's worst memory is the loss of his grandparents during the attack on Silvermoon. 

5) Sangriel has no siblings but many, many, MANY, cousins. So fucking many. He grew up with all of them, so to him they may as well be brothers and sisters. All of them got along very well and though he doesn't talk to many of them anymore, they're all still on good terms (as far as he knows).

7) He and Mesdrea are childhood friends!! After the attack on Silvermoon, her family moved south towards Southshore, and his family remained in Eversong.  He had no idea whether or not she or her family had survived until he leaves home and decides to travel to learn more about the arcane. Mesdrea was part of the Syndicate at the time and he joined her there. When the organization started going off the deep end, the two bailed out and returned to Silvermoon together. 

9) He is not fond of animals, so of course they read that and immediately pile onto him. Sangriel isnt particularly good at caring for pets which is the real reason why he isnt fond of them. He'd honestly love to have a fish if he didnt think he'd accidentally starve it to death. 

11) No diet requirements! This terrible boy is a walking garbage disposal.

13) He hates cabbage and cauliflower in all forms. terrible. bad foods.

15) San got his father's skills for cooking, which is to say he's..... not the best. He isn't terrible though! He's got a handful of dishes he can cook very well! Just dont expect him to cook dinner all the time and have it be completely edible.

17) Oh fuck yes. Selfies, pictures of dumb things he finds, loooots of pictures of bodies of water esp waterfalls. Half the time he doesnt share them he just likes hoarding the photos to look at alone later. San's not shy or embarrassed by them he just doesn't wanna share.

19) San hates existential "We are stardust and eternal" sorts of things. He feels that most of the time they are disingenuous strings of words pulled out of the asses of people who think they're holier than thou. also theyre boring. 

21) He doesn't necessarily have a temper that is constant but he's very easily riled up. When he's angery he's more likely to lash out with words and snide remarks than anything physical, especially if he knows something particularly damning about the person in question. It takes a lot to get him to that point though. He'll bitch and whine and yell loooong before that.

23) San likes firm mattresses, and would sleep on the floor if mesdrea didnt insist on him having something between him and the hardwood. He doesn't snore, but is drawn to heat sources aka anyone with the misfortune of sharing a bed with him, and clings to them desperately. He sleeps with Only One Pillow, and mesdrea thinks there's something wrong with him for it.

25) He doesn't think he's terribly funny, though Mesdrea loves his sarcastic sense of humor (san thinks she's biased bc they're friends). Sangriel loves witty humor, and though he won't admit it, will absolutely laugh at a properly timed and/or worded crude joke. 

27) San frequently has moods where he feels as if he's accomplished nothing with his life (you're still so young, his mother always says!) and it throws him into a funk for a couple days at a time. He'll cry somewhere towards the end of it after everything's sort of come to a head, and he does very little to hide it. Normally he'll end up snapping at the smallest things, like not being able to open a package or dropping something on the floor. At that point he kind of just spends the day sobbing on and off until it's out of his system. He's a little dramatic but its still genuine sadness :(

29) If any teasing is done it's minimal. Normally San won't do either, but he leans towards being more protective if the person in question is someone he's fond of. Teasing would consist of a tasteful joke at most when he first finds out, and nothing more. It's mostly to try and get the person to smile, though he knows it won't always work. 

31) San absolutely drinks, and is actually terrible at holding his liquor. He gets drunk fast then crashes and burns not long after. He's actually a fairly fun drunk, and loses the insecurities he has that makes him quick to snap and anger when sober. San's a miserable person hungover and tends to spend that time hiding under blankets and pillows alone. He won't admit it but he mother hens those around him that are drunk or hungover while he's sober, though he's not above intentionally making loud noise when Mesdrea is hungover bc she does the same to him. 

33) It depends on what he's wearing. Lounging around or going out it might be boxerbriefs. Some stupid tight pants?? probably some small bikini/thong thing?? of course he wears lacy shit on special occassions though. Of Course. Who do you think We Are.

35) Guilty pleasure is thrifting, esp for clothing he can alter. A totally not-guilty pleasure is sitting on the balcony of drea's flat with a bottle of wine and tossing tiny bits of food out to the birds. he keeps score of how many pieces of food end up in someone's hair/hat too. he has to. 

37) San is actually an avid reader, mostly of non-fiction and esp arcane theory. If he reads anything fictional it's science fiction. Asshole looks dumb as fuck but he's well read. 

39) He loveslovesloves sending letters and messages to people. Mesdrea was the only person he spoke to for a long time at one point and it was only through letters. It's special to him idk

41) San's solidly Gay. Really Really Gay. He just finds?? Lots of things attractive and in no specific way/shape/form. San would say he doesn't have a type and he's right. He's pretty bad with relationships though. The intimacy that's involved kinda...bugs him.. and it mostly has to do with his own insecurities and self-worth. Maybe if he found someone that helps with that he'd? be in a relationship? But for now he's 100% fine with flings. They make him happy.

43) He's not very religious. The light's cool and all. Naaru look neat. The moon is rad so Elune is too, he supposes. An'she is chill. It's just stuff he doesnt want to concern himself with. 

45) People that don't know him see him as an overdramatic, flashy, pompous asshole and they're not wrong! He absolutely is, but that's all they see. People who have been robbed by him see a strange thief that somehow used magic to steal in broad daylight. Mesdrea sees him as someone who is actually a very loving person that is particularly good at making masks to hide who he actually is and how he actually feels. San tries very hard to see himself as someone who is good and worthy of, well, good in return. But most of the time he only sees what's wrong with himself and the things he's done and then ignores all the good, so over time he created the grand facade of this amazing illusionist thief that regrets nothing and cares for nobody and looks Fabulous™ doing it. 

47) San has a love/hate relationship with formal settings. He loves the pomp and circumstance of it all, the dressing up, all the fake bullshit and the backstabbing. He hates that his family isn't able to enjoy the things they used to, though, and that's because their father had them basically ostracised out of their social circles and then gambled all their wealth away :\\\ So he loves them, but hates that he can't share that fun with his family, so he doesn't attend anything formal.

49) The copper ring his mother gave him is most prized possession. She gave it to him on his 20th birthday. The runes on it are a small blessing, Light's Strenth. He'd been planning on running off without a word, but his mom is pretty in tune with his antics and she stopped him as he was leaving to give him the ring. His mother's fairly religious so the ring means a lot to her, and while Sangriel is not, the ring is still incredibly important. When he knows he can't safely wear it on his hand, he keeps it on a copper chain.

#sangriel heartspell #ask replies #text #oc's #mori-sketchbook