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eliemo · 3 years

Text

Bored of Love

Summary: Virgil knows Roman is going to leave if he doesn't change. But he still has time. He can fix this.

TWs: social anxiety, fear of a breakup, misunderstandings

Notes: Enjoy this little oneshot while I work on some of my bigger projects. Romantic Prinxiety, established relationship

Virgil didn’t know how much longer he could keep doing this.

Which was stupid, he’d put himself in this position. It’d be selfish of him to back out of it now. He might ruin everything irreparably if he even tried.

Virgil could suck it up and deal with this, even if it felt like he was going to die the next time he stepped into a public place the Imagination created for him.

But that didn’t matter. Because this was for Roman- and Roman was beaming. He’d been thrilled all week, eyes lighting up in a way that made Virgil dizzy whenever he suggested another date idea or activity to the Prince, carefully hiding the exhausted waver in his voice that hadn’t gone away after three straight days of taking Roman out.

He’d thought he might have been going a little overboard, offering to go out and do things day after day. He’d been a little worried Roman would catch on to what he was doing. Maybe he’d laugh at how disgustingly desperate Virgil was.

But he didn’t. The Prince just looked more excited each time, jumping up and sweeping Virgil off his feet and into an embrace when a new idea was presented.

And that made it worth it. Roman was happy- happy with Virgil- and that was the best feeling in the world. If it meant Roman would keep loving him, that Roman would stay, a little exhaustion and extra anxiety was something he could live with.

Virgil was just...glad he’d forced himself to do this before it was too late.

He hadn’t noticed it until last week, how...annoying it must be for Roman whenever Virgil wanted to stay in and do nothing. Again.

Virgil had thought it would be ok, that Roman understood that sometimes going out and doing things, being active and social, was just a little too much. He’d warned Roman about it before they’d gotten together, that his anxiety could be an obstacle, that he’d do his best but he’d always prefer to be alone with his boyfriend, held safely against his chest.

And Roman hadn’t cared. Not even for a second. He’d waved it off with grand declarations of love that he’d quickly pushed aside in favor of more serious, quiet promises, holding Virgil close to make sure he understood.

All he wanted was Virgil to be comfortable and happy. All he wanted was for them to be together. If Virgil would let Roman love him, he would be happy no matter what they did.

And that’s what they’d done. And everything had been...perfect. It had been better than he’d ever thought it could be, everything he’d never let himself dare to hope for. Being with Roman made the world feel ok, and the bad days more than worth it.

Virgil loved him. And he was so so scared to mess this up.

Which was why last week, when Roman had actually been annoyed by his introversion for the first time, Virgil had panicked immediately and scrambled to fix everything.

Roman had suggested going out on a date night, something a bit more extravagant than their usual quiet dinner in Roman’s room or in the empty kitchen. And as nice as it sounded, Virgil knew there was absolutely no way he would have been able to handle it that night.

His anxiety had been acting up, leaving him jumpy and tired, and even just the thought of venturing out into the Imagination left him wanting to curl up in his bed and never leave.

And he’d said as much, sheepishly admitting he’d really rather just stay inside for the night. And instead of the usual gentle understanding he got in return, Roman had scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Of course you don't,” he’d muttered. “Come on, Virgil, you never want to do anything fun. Staying inside all day is boring. I’m just trying to do something nice for you like a boyfriend is supposed to do since apparently you can’t return the favor.”

And then he’d stormed off, probably to complain to Patton and Logan, and Virgil he’d been left on the couch feeling like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head.

Roman had said when they’d started dating that it was ok, that he didn’t care. He wanted Virgil, not the dates and outings and activities. He wouldn’t care if Virgil was too anxious to go out. He’d be perfectly content curling up in bed and watching a movie they’d both seen a hundred times before.

Was that...not true? Had he changed his mind? Was Virgil getting boring? Was he annoying Roman?

Was Roman going to leave if Virgil didn’t hurry up and get it together?

Maybe it was already too late. Maybe Roman had already gotten bored and fallen out of love with him. Maybe there was nothing Virgil could do to convince him to stay with someone like Anxiety.

Beneath the panic, Virgil had recognized he was spiraling. Roman wouldn’t leave him, not out of nowhere. Not over this. Virgil still had time to fix things. He could be better.

Roman had apologized less than an hour later, complete with a bundle of purple flowers and a nervous smile. Virgil hadn’t been mad, of course, and he assumed the apology had only felt necessary because it was impossible for Virgil to hide the fact he’d been crying.

But they were fine now. That had been days ago, and Roman clearly wasn’t giving it a second thought.

But Virgil hadn’t stopped thinking about it, and the next day he’d come to Roman with a date idea, something similar to what Roman had suggested. Virgil had been tired and a little unfocused, but it had been worth it to see Roman positively beam at him.

And then Virgil hadn’t...stopped. He’d kept making plans around their pre-existing schedule for filming and time with the others, more and more piling up until Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a moment to himself.

It had almost been almost a week now, a week of taking Roman out every day and pushing down panic and exhaustion because Virgil was fine. This is what he wanted because it was what Roman wanted.

Every time a date ended the thoughts would come rushing back, panicked and insistent that Roman was still going to leave him no matter what he did. What if it hadn’t been enough? What if Roman had wanted more? What if Virgil had been too quiet- too boring?

They wouldn’t be silent until Virgil made another plan, took them out again, until Roman smiled with undeniable excitement and led them back into the bustling Imagination.

They had another dinner date tonight, in just a couple hours. Virgil found himself hunched over the breakfast bar in the kitchen, staring blankly at his half empty mug of coffee, and trying very hard not to think about how Logan was staring at him.

“Virgil,” Logan said carefully, and Virgil heard him approach from the kitchen doorway. “Are you...alright?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil said quickly, too quickly, because he wasn’t fine, it felt like he was going to break down if he had to do one more thing today. They’d already worked on filming, and Thomas had gone out with a friend that morning, and Virgil just wanted to sleep. “Why?”

He heard Logan move even closer, tensing when the logical side put a hand on his shoulder. “Because you’ve been incredibly active this last week, and that isn’t like you.”

Virgil grimaced and shook off his hand, probably more aggressively than was necessary. “I’m fine. Maybe I like being active.”

“You don’t,” Logan said, and it wasn’t a question. “And there is nothing wrong with that, Virgil. Some people are more introverted than others, and socializing drains them more quickly. Not to mention your anxiety makes you—”

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil snapped, pushing himself off the stool to dump his coffee in the sink. “I’m shit at doing things and I’m trying to fix that.”

“There is nothing to fix, Virgil. Pushing yourself like this will only hurt you. I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”

Virgil sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing at the edge of the counter to keep himself from having a breakdown on the kitchen floor. Logan didn’t deserve to deal with that.

“I’m taking my boyfriend out to dinner,” he said, hating how his voice shook. “And I took him out a few times this week because he deserves it. That’s all. I’m fine, Logan.”

Logan was silent a moment, Virgil still refusing to turn around. “If you told Roman this was hurting you, I’m sure he would—”

“Don’t tell Roman.” Virgil finally spun around, eyes wide and panicked, meeting Logan’s raised eyebrow.“Please, don’t tell Roman, Lo you can't.”

Logan shook his head, watching Virgil with a mix of something between sympathy and concern. “It is not my place to talk to Roman about this. But I do not recommend letting this continue.”

“I’m doing this to make him happy,” Virgil said, and it sounded small and pathetic to his own ears. “I’m...I have to, Lo. He deserves so much better.”

Logan sighed, short and quiet, and for a second Virgil thought he was going to be told off. Virgil was being ridiculous, and no amount of faking excitement and energy could get Roman to stay with someone like him.

But Logan just reached over to squeeze his hand, smiling gently. “Roman is happier than he has been in years since entering a relationship with you. Please try to remember that.”

And then he was gone, leaving Virgil to try and catch his breath in the middle of an empty kitchen until he found the strength to hurry upstairs to get ready for dinner.

Dinner was great, obviously. It was great because Roman was there, smiling, eyes twinkling as he talked about...something. For the life of him, Virgil couldn’t focus on the conversation anymore.

He was exhausted and the background chatter of the other people in the restaurant (because of course when Roman created something he had to make it as realistic as possible- what was the fun in a date at a fancy restaurant if it was completely empty and quiet?) was grating against his skull. It was too much and as wonderful as it was to see Roman so happy, Virgil just wanted it to be over.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Roman’s room and climb into bed and sleep against the Prince’s chest and forget about the world.

But he couldn’t, because this wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t enough, he had to do more because the second Virgil showed just how much he hated this Roman would stop smiling, and he’d realize just how awful Virgil was to be with. Roman was a Prince, he deserved so much better than Anxiety, and if Virgil didn’t change—

“Virgil?” Roman had stopped talking, and Virgil quickly snapped to attention when he realized Prince was staring at him, brow furrowed. “Are you alright?”

It took Virgil a moment to notice he’d started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that was impossible to hide when he took a sip of his water.

But he was fine. He was fine and he needed to get over himself before Roman picked up on anything.

“I’m good, Princey,” he said, cursing how weak his voice sounded. “Do you want to go out to breakfast tomorrow? I had some ideas.”

Roman stared for a second, and Virgil’s heart sank when his smile started to drop. “You’re shaking like a leaf, Virgil. Do you feel sick?”

“No.” Virgil squeezed his hands into fists, nails digging painfully into his palms. “I’m fine, I’m...I’m just cold. It’s cold in here. Do you want to do breakfast tomorrow?”

It was clearly a lie, Roman always kept the temperature perfect in his realm, and Virgil felt more like he was overheating than anything.

“Virge...” he reached forward, freezing when Virgil flinched back before he could stop himself. “Honey, you...do not look fine.”

“I am,” Virgil argued, even as tears began to gather in his eyes. “I’m fine, I swear. We’re having a fun time, I’m ok. You’re...you’re having fun, right? You like these dates?”

Roman didn’t respond for a moment, cautiously looking Virgil over before speaking carefully. “I...I do, but—”

“That’s good!” It came out a bit too desperate, and Virgil internally cringed. “That’s...that’s good. They’re for you.”

“But I’m an extrovert,” Roman said. “We know I enjoy being out and about like this. You’re...Virgil, it’s ok if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do. I do want to, I promise. We’re..we’re having fun. You’ve been having fun.”

“I have,” Roman said slowly. “But if it’s at the cost of your mental health we can have fun doing other things. You don’t have to push yourself.”

“Yes I do,” Virgil said before he could stop himself, wincing when his voice broke. “And I’m fine. Do you want to go out to breakfast tomorrow?”

Roman was silent for a long moment, too long, watching Virgil like he was worried the anxious side might break. Virgil thought he might, too.

“Actually,” the Prince started, voice soft. “I was thinking we could stay in tomorrow.”

Virgil hated how quickly his head shot up, hope clawing at his chest when he saw the sincerity in Roman’s eyes. “You were?”

“I was,” Roman said. “I may not be as good as Patton, but I could figure out how to cook us something edible. We could eat it in bed and watch movies, if you’d like.”

It was like a weight had just been lifted off of Virgil’s shoulders, letting him breathe for the first time all week as he wiped away tears still pooling in his eyes. “That...would be really nice. If- if that’s what you want to do. If you’re sure.”

Roman nodded, back to smiling gently, and Virgil couldn’t even try to hold back the pathetic sobs that broke free, leaving him hunched over and trembling in the middle of the restaurant.

He heard Roman’s chair scoot back and for a terrifying second he thought the Prince was leaving, finally giving up on the pathetic mess sitting across from him.

But then there was another chair being pulled up beside him, and Roman had gathered Virgil into his arms and against his chest, letting Virgil cry into his shirt as he held him close.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said, and Virgil didn’t understand why he was the one apologizing. “Gosh, I’m sorry Virgil. I’ve...I’ve been so selfish, haven’t I?”

“What?” Virgil pulled back, still clutching at Roman’s shirt. “You’re not being selfish, Ro. I’m...I’ve been trying to make you happy.”

“I was perfectly happy how we were,” Roman said softly. “I thought you were being more social and I didn't want to discourage you, but I completely missed the signs that you weren’t enjoying it.”

“I was enjoying it,” Virgil said, and it was only half a lie. “You were so happy. You were happy. It was worth it.”

“You’re breaking down,” Roman said, and Virgil flinched. “Nothing is worth this.”

“But—”

“I’m gonna talk to Logan about a day off,” Roman continued before Virgil could argue. “You’re going to sleep in, and I’m going to make you breakfast, and we’ll spend the day unwinding. Alright?”

It sounded amazing, like everything Virgil had been desperately wanting all week long, but...but it was the opposite of what he’d been trying to do. He’d ruined the night, and Roman...Roman didn’t look upset, but...

“Are...are you mad? It’s ok if you are, but I—”

“No baby,” Roman said, soft and gentle in a way that only shattered Virgil’s resolve further. “I’m not mad at all.”

Virgil wasn’t sure he entirely believed that, not when he’d so royally fucked everything up. “I’m...sorry. I’m so sorry, I was just trying to be better.”

He felt Roman freeze, tightening his hold for just a second before loosening again to look Virgil in the eyes. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed, not sure why it was a question. “I’m...look, Princey I know I’m a shitty boyfriend and I- I don’t know how long you’re going to put up with it so I’m...trying to change. I can do better. I promise I can do better next time.”

Roman was silent for a long moment, and Virgil expected him to sigh, begrudgingly admit that Virgil was right, he’d just been hoping his frustration wasn’t so obvious, and agree to try another date tomorrow when Virgil got over himself.

Instead Roman tightened his hold, eyes wide and...horrified? “What on earth are you talking about?”

Virgil frowned back at him, panic and uncertainty coiling in his gut because he hadn’t actually thought any of this needed to be explained.

“I know I hold you back,” Virgil said, continuing before Roman could protest. “You love going out and doing things and I know it’s...frustrating that I don’t. You don’t go on quests as much anymore and you're less active because I like to stay in, and I don’t take you out like I should, and I—”

“I don’t go out as much because I’m happy spending time with you,” Roman cut in. “I’d go out if I wanted to, darling. I like staying in with you. Yes, these dates have been wonderful, and I appreciate them. But I’d prefer to do something where both of us are comfortable.”

“But—” Virgil’s breath caught on another sob, and he tightened his hold on the Prince. “But you said I never...I- I thought you were getting bored with me.”

Roman looked confused, but it only lasted a second before realization took over. “Is this...is this because of the fight we had?”

Virgil shrugged, eyes on his lap. “It...wasn’t a fight. You were honest with me and I tried to fix what I was doing wrong.”

“Oh, baby.” Roman’s hands were suddenly cupping his face, tilting his chin up to meet Virgil’s gaze. “That wasn’t me being honest, Virgil. That was me being an asshole because I had a long day and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Virgil couldn’t see with the way the tears were blurring his vision, but the anxiety that had been relentlessly wrapped around his heart since Roman had lashed out was beginning to unravel.

“Oh,” he said, a little breathless. “I thought...I just wanted this to be perfect for you. I wanted to be good.”

“Neither one of us will ever be perfect.” Roman smiled, wiping away Virgil’s tears with his thumb. “But I love you. I love you so much, Virgil. You’re perfect to me.”

Virgil struggled to breathe around hiccuping sobs still coming from his chest, completely lost because this wasn’t...this was all wrong. “But you...you deserve the best.”

“And I have that. You being comfortable and safe is all I could ever want, Virgil. You’re my world.”

And well...great. Now Virgil was crying in earnest all over again, collapsing into Roman’s chest and letting it all out, melting into his embrace as he once again held him tight.

Roman shushed him gently, rocking them both where they sat, running gentle fingers through Virgil’s hair. “You deserve the best too, Virgil. Please don’t ever put yourself below me.”

“I do have the best,” Virgil said, muffled from where he’d buried his face in Roman’s chest. “If...if you stay.” He quickly pulled back, panic clawing at his throat. “Not- not that you have to stay. You don’t. I’m not...you’re not trapped or anything, I just—”

“I know, Virgil,” Roman said gently, and he relaxed again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Ok,” Virgil sighed, breaths still shaky, head rested on Roman’s shoulder. “Sorry for ruining dinner.”

“You didn’t,” Roman assured, rubbing gentle circles along the anxious side’s back. “Would you like to go home?”

Virgil probably nodded a bit too fast, but Roman didn’t seem annoyed in the slightest. He just scooped Virgil up bridal style and carried him through the now silent restaurant. Virgil belatedly realized Roman had gotten rid of the rest of the customers.

“I love you,” Virgil whispered, wrapping his arms tight around Roman’s shoulder when the Prince kissed the top of his head. “I’m really sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Roman said, stern but gentle in a way that didn’t send Virgil’s anxiety skyrocketing. “I’m going to take care of you.”

Virgil nodded, too tired to form another response, closing his eyes and letting Roman take them back to his room. For the first time all week, Virgil found himself looking forward to what tomorrow held.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #logan sanders #fanfiction #writing

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janaeekook · 3 years

Text

.Crimson lace.

pairing: bestfriend!seonghwa x reader (f)

warnings: dom!seonghwa, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe kids)

word count: 4.9k

The roads were winding, twisting through the expansive mountain scape around you, Small flakes of snow falling along the road. You were in the passenger seat of your best friends car, the radio softly playing some pop song that Seonghwa seemed to know word for word.

It was that time of year, Seonghwa's family and their annual trip to their cabin. The past years you and Seonghwa had gone up a day earlier than the rest of his family to take up all the supplies for the week and check that the generator still worked properly.

"So what movies are we going to watch tonight?" You asked, curious as to what we would do before his parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins came up tomorrow.

"I'll leave that to you." He said glancing over to you from the drivers seat. You smiled widely, knowing which movies you'd pick for the movie night that had become a tradition.

The smile that masked your face didn't fade as you watched each dainty snowflake powder from the sky. It was exquisitely beautiful, the grey early January sky, the chill of the outdoors cut off by the cars heat and the warm starbucks coffee that warmed you from the inside.

You hummed tugging your legs into a crossed position in the seat, the paper cup still in your clutch. You inspected the glove box, nothing but crumpled napkins, registration and a small first aid kit.

"We're almost there." Seonghwa informed you.

"How did you-"

"You act like I haven't known you my whole life." He chuckled, "You get antsy after long car rides."

You chuckled, forgetting that Seonghwa was indeed your bestfriend, and had been for years. He knew practically everything about you, neither of you ever saw each other as more than bestfriends bound at the hip.

He'd seen you half naked, passed out drunk on the bathroom floor, three times through the notebook after your first breakup, and he was by your side through all of it. Nursing you to health, loving you when you thought no one would, and giving you endless support when your dad passed away.

His parents were the same growing up, knowing your mom was busy working overtime to pay the bills; you'd stay over, that was when you and Seonghwa really grew close, you sleeping on the floor of his dragon themed bedroom.

As your mind continued to reminisce, the car was pulling up to the large cabin, It was large enough to house all 17 of us with its 7 bedrooms. The parents and grandparents got their rooms, the younger kids shared rooms, the girls in one and boys in the other. But as you and Seonghwa got older you started sharing the last bedroom.

It wasn't weird for you, you'd been sharing a bedroom and bed with him since you were both 4. His relatives however always asked if the two of you were dating, and you'd laugh it off because to the two of you it was utterly ridiculous.

You stretched your tired limbs when you stepped from the warmth of Seonghwa's car into the brisk outside winter air, "We made it!" You exclaimed lightly in excitement.

Seonghwa's chuckle sounded warm enough to melt the falling snow all away, "Did you doubt we would?"

You shrugged, grabbing one of the many large boxes of food and supplies that were piled in the back of his car.

"You're a scary driver." You teased, feigning fright. He smacked your arm before grabbing a box as well.

"Excuse me I am a wonderful driver."

You giggled, stopping promptly as you reached the entry way, Seonghwa taking his keys and unlocking the large wooden door. You took a deep breath in as you stepped through the door, the cabin always had a distinct smell a mixture of sandalwood and crisp apple.

"Wait!" You gasped making Seonghwa who stood in the kitchen whip around to look at you in slight concern which quickly faded upon studying your face. Bright eyes and an excited smile as you continued to hold onto the box of food.

"What?" He couldn't contain the contagious smile that spread across his face.

"Can we make a fort for our movie night?"

"Let's get everything inside, and the generator going, first and then talk about the plan for the night, ok?" He said and you nodded quickly in agreement. He watched as you skipped back out the door, and he couldn't help the smile that drew at his lips.

Anyone watching them could see the love and adoration in his eyes, anyone and everyone, except you. Seonghwa had started to feel more for you, he loved you and he wanted you to know. But you were oblivious to the signs he'd been displaying the past 2 years. Sometimes he grew frustrated and just wanted to grab your face and kiss you— but at what cost? What if you didn't feel the same?

Well he knew you didn't, he was just your bestfriend and nothing more. He never tested that boundary for fear of losing you, he could never picture a life without you, it just didn't make sense.

"Hwa!" He was pulled from his thoughts by your voice, "Get out here and help me."

He chuckled, "Ya, ya." Following your words out the door

The generator rolled with a start, humming lightly. Seonghwa stood dusting off his hands as he stood from his previously squat position before leaving the small shed with a huff of satisfaction hurrying the short distance back to the insulated cabin.

"You got it?" You asked the second you heard him come through the door.

"Try the lights." he said, and so you did, the dark room quickly being illuminated by the warm light.

"Haha! Look at that!" You exclaimed, he always loved the excitement you got from the smallest things. Lights, electricity, something so simple and everyday and yet it brought you the upmost joy.

He wanted to tell you how cute you were, "Aww is someone afraid of the dark?" He joked instead.

"Very funny, If I recall correctly you were the one that just had to have his Spiderman night light plugged in."

He scoffed, "At least I don't cry at the sight of an insect."

"Arachnophobia is a very real thing, Seonghwa."

"Then I hope none are lurking around the cabin." He said in an attempted spooky voice, wiggling his fingers as he moved his arm toward you, which you proceeded to hit out of the way. You stuck your tongue out at him.

"Jackass." You said, and he only replied with his melodic laugh, You threw a folded blanket at his chest, "Now help me with the fort."

You both threw blankets over the couch and propped them on various chairs from about the cabin. Purposely leaving the fluffiest and nicest blankets for the inside, where you also strung fairy lights randomly. It was as magical and cuddly-cozy-warm as ever. You climbed in wrapping yourself in a blanket then opened your laptop in front of you, Seonghwa joining with an armful of snacks.

You hummed, grabbing a handful of popcorn, "You know the way to my heart, Park."

"Its like I'm your bestfriend or something."

"Hm, so 10 Things I Hate About You, ya?"

"Whatever makes you happy." He said with a smile. That's all he wished, for you to be happy, and if sitting here with you in a makeshift fort of blankets and fairy lights, with snacks that were bad for you and cheesy hallmark movies, was what made you happy— then so be it. If you insisted, he would sit there all the days of his life with you.

He sighed lightly to himself, You've got it bad Seonghwa. He thought, though he knew, he'd known. Falling helplessly in love with his bestfriend, who saw him as just that, her bestfriend.

How truly infuriating it must be for him to see you look at others and not even consider him. Though that wasn't your fault. You didn't know. He wished you'd notice, but you still hadn't. It had been years, every holiday, coming up to the cabin— falling asleep next to the other.

He looked over to you, your eyes shut and lips parted slightly. It was unbelievable, you always insisted on a movie night but Seonghwa knew you'd be asleep by the end of the first. That's just how you worked; he studied your sleeping face with a smile, tuning out the movie. He thought you looked beautiful, truly.

Unconsciously you scooted toward Seonghwa's warmth. His lips forming a sad smile as he watched his sleeping bestfriend cuddle into his chest. You'd always been cuddly, ever since childhood— as if you had been starved of physical affection your entire life. So you'd always found reasons to hug him, or others and be close to them, not wishing them the same fate.

This is how he'd fallen in love with you. Why, he'd fallen in love with you. Simply for you and your heart.

Though he was still a teenage boy, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, that night, heart racing, skin damp with sweat and his boxers straining against him. He wanted to curse at himself, to ignore it and go back to sleep. But you moving in your sleep forced him to fight off a moan as your ass pressed against him unintentionally.

He nearly jumped off the floor and right up hurrying to the bathroom, where he shut and locked the door, before leaning against it. He looked at the clock that quietly ticked on the wall, 3:45 am. He sighed, annoyed then pulled his sweatpants down just enough to take himself into his hand, pumping himself as he searched for relief. And he did, cumming over his hand as he whispered your name.

The next morning you woke up, Seonghwa no longer next to you. You looked out of the fort finding him sitting on an uncovered part of the couch, eyes fixated on the TV.

"Seonghwa?" You croaked out, he turned to glance at you, his cheeks red but you assumed it was from the cold, "What's going on?" He didn't actually respond just turned up the volume on the TV.

Breaking: All roads on the highway north are closed after an unexpected snow storm dumped at least 5 feet of snow in the middle of the night, authorities are advising residents to be patient as they work to clear the roads.

"We're snowed in." He finally said.

"So- what does that mean about your family coming up?"

"They're not." His voice seemed strained, as if full of dread.

"Jeez, I can't be that awful to be around." You joked before stalking off into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

What you didn't know however was what truly was going through his head. This had to have been some twisted fate the universe had placed on him, working to test his strength in the process. How long could he hold out? How long could he restrain himself in these close quarters? Maybe it was the cold getting to his head, making him weaker.

"Do you want pancakes or waffles?" You asked from the kitchen, effectively knocking Seonghwa from his trance.

"Did you really just ask me that question?" He seemed borderline offended.

"Who else?" You snorted

"Waffles are 100 times better than pancakes, you know that." He stood walking into the kitchen and standing on the opposite side of the island.

"Excuse me? Pancakes are so much better than waffles, they're fluffy."

"But everything just spills off the top, waffles have indents to capture all of that flavor so you don't miss any of it. Plus pancakes are always raw in the center."

"Are not!" You turned around facing him fully now.

"Why'd you even ask me then if you like pancakes better."

"I don't know, maybe because I thought it was a simple question." You retaliated.

"Are we really fighting about pancakes and waffles?"

"Yes, now you can make your own breakfast."

"You're a pain in the ass." He said walking around the island and grabbing cereal from the cabinet.

"Dido." You said in a sing-song voice and smiled at him. He sighed, shaking his head at you with a smile across his own lips. This was what your friendship had always consisted of, joking play fights and comments. You were probably more comfortable around Seonghwa than your own family, partly because he felt like family to you. You threw a chocolate chip at him as he sat at the counter and you wondered in that moment what you would do without your bestfriend. The rest of the day passed at a snails pace, being snowed in only making you more aware of how seemingly little there was to do in the rather large cabin. You danced to music in the living room as Seonghwa laughed saying that you had 'not a single dancer bone in your body' to which you answered him by throwing a pillow at his head. That had led to a merciless pillow fight between you, which of course he ultimately won. Later in the day You sat, reading a book on the couch. You weren't exactly sure what the book was about, you had simply found it on the book shelf. It was interesting, interesting enough for you not to register that your bestfriend had entered the room again after having gone to change.

"Hey," He said, grabbing your attention, "I'm gonna go out, check the main roads. You gonna be ok?" Seonghwa asked pulling gloves onto his hands.

"Ya, I'll be fine." You smiled at him from the couch. When he walked out the door and you heard it close behind him you dropped the book, you needed to shower, and it'd just be easier if Seonghwa was out while you did.

You threw your hair in a bun as to keep it dry, stepping into the running water and washing your body. It was hot against your skin, and you sighed as your body relaxed. You took your time as the water ran over you. The past day had been a whirl-wind of surprises, with all the snow, we were able to call Seonghwa's family with the land line, but other than that there was no reception, No clear way to get home as the snow blocked the roads. The plows hadn't made it through the back roads. It wasn't too awful being stuck with Seonghwa-- if it was anyone other than your bestfriend you think you'd have pulled out all your hair already.

Though not having your alone time already had you cranky, you sighed, washing your body. Finally feeling clean you shut off the water and stepped out, standing on the small shower mat you looked into the mirror, You allowed your eyes to scan you body decorated with water droplets. You felt-- pretty, as if your insecurities had been washed away, and saw your body for what it was, you. You smiled lightly before grabbing a towel and drying your skin. You left the humid bathroom and went to the bedroom, kneeling in front of your suitcase in hopes of finding something comfortable to wear. Though when you flipped open the lid you saw the crimson lace. You felt heat rush to your cheeks at the thought of why you even packed the scandalous piece of thin fabric. What were you even hoping to accomplish?

You lifted the lingerie up, you bit your lip lightly, Seonghwa wasn't there it'll be fine if you wore if for a bit. right? You sighed again before you stood, dropping the towel, and letting it pool at your ankles. You pulled on the matching lace set, before looking over yourself in the full length mirror in the bedroom. It fit perfectly, and boy did it make your confidence soar. You felt empowered by your own body, beautiful. Any supposed imperfection, that prompted insecurities in your heart and mind, a mere reminder of how uniquely beautiful you were.

You weren't sure how long you stood there. But your heart stopped when the door was pushed open. Though you didn't yell, you didn't even move to cover yourself. No, you weren't frozen but deep down, you wanted him to see you-- even if you hadn't realized it.

"Hey, Y/n, the roads-" but he stopped mid-sentence when he was welcomed to the sight of you in next to nothing. His eyes seemed to cloud with a dark lust, you held your breath, he stepped closer, the tips of his fingers grabbed at one of the straps. His eyes fleeting over your body once more, as his fingers traced the crimson lace that covered your breast. His intense gaze met yours again when his hand fell away from your chest.

"What are you doing to me?" His voice a low whisper.

"You said you went to check the roads." Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, the way your bestfriends eyes ran over your body, drinking up each curve. It should have made you uncomfortable, but you couldn't help but feel desire creep into your thoughts.

"That was an hour ago."

"Oh." was all you could find in your mind to say. It was silent for a few beats before you decided to speak again, "Seonghwa."

"I need you to let me know if you're uncomfortable, because, I really don't want to hold back right now." You'd never heard Seonghwa sound so sultry before to someone, let alone yourself.

The whine that involuntarily slipped past your lips encouraged him to step forward and entrap your lips with his. It was a searing kiss, he pushed you back against the small desk that was behind you in the small bedroom.

You felt as the red lace of your panties pooled with arousal, your cheeks flushed, wondering how your childhood bestfriend made your body feel so uncontrollably hot, without even so much as a touch to your skin. He hiked you onto the small desk nudging your legs apart with his knee so he could stand between them.

"Was this your plan? Hm? Get me to lose control and fuck you?" His fingers traced your jaw hooking lightly under your chin, forcing your eyes to meet. His eyes held a hard questioning gaze, you tried to shake your head no but he held your chin in place, "Use your words."

"No- no hwa."

"No? You sure darling? You just happened to be wearing this?"

"Yes." Your tone was soft as your confidence, for the first time since you were children, wavered under his gaze.

The corner of his lip quirked up lightly, "Am I making you nervous darling?" His cocky tone oozing from each word.

"Seonghwa-" your voice breathy as you looked up into his eyes, his fingers moved over the wet patch on your red lace panties.

"That needy baby? Hm?" He asked when you whined.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Make me feel good."

Nothing more needed to be said as his lips were on yours again need and want burning between you. You'd never felt it before, you'd never wanted someone to touch you intimately so badly, especially not Seonghwa. But there was something forbidden about his touch that made your body hot with desire.

He got to his knees before you, his face now parallel with your cunt. He kissed over the thin fabric and your breath shuddered. He thought you looked beautiful, the red lace complimenting your skin tone perfectly.

"God you're perfect." And with that he pushed the barrier of fabric to the side running his tongue through your slick folds. The noises you made only further expressing how needy you really were, it felt wrongfully right. His mouth on you bringing you to the edge quicker than you imagined possible and it was just his tongue, he didn't need anything more to pleasure you.

"S-seonghwa-" your head lulled back in response to the overwhelming pleasure, your eyes squeezing shut, your ears tuning into the wet noises eliciting from between your legs.

Your head snapping back to the man between your legs when he pulled away. You whined with a solid pout on your lips having not finished.

"Not yet." Was all he said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He pulled you from the desk, his lips finding yours again as he pushed you back until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed. He eased you down onto the plush mattress, your lips never separating.

Removing his clothes you felt his own hot skin against yours. Everything seeming to melt together, the lines of your friendship, your bodies as you pulled eachother closer— feeling your need grow tenfold as his hips grinded down on yours.

Voice breathy in your throat you managed to push his name out, "Seonghwa-"

"Mmm, you sound so pretty saying my name."

"Seonghwa, please." Your voice more stern now, you needed relief from the pulsing between your thighs.

"Begging now, are we?" He smirked as he teased you and you rolled your eyes, "Don't worry darling, I'll make you cum on my cock."

And in that he didn't lie, his lips peppering you neck and collarbones before wrapping around your lace covered nipples. Removing his own clothes eagerly, but he froze.

"Condom-"

"I'm on the pill, Hwa, please don't stop now." The desperation in your voice fueling his own need to be inside you. He craved to feel you warm around him.

Running the head of his cock over you folds caused his breath to catch in his throat, every late-night forbidden fantasy when he laid in his bed alone, dominant hand pumping himself to the thought of you. It was all about to become very real, a shaky moan leaving both your lips as he pressed into you. There was no going back after that, not as you came on him within minutes— no matter how much your head denied your want for him, your body couldn't.

Though when he came, soon after you, he didn't stop. You whined not because it was bad, but because the overstimulation burned in your stomach. It was intoxicating and Seonghwa continued to drill into you. Determination was clear on his face, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. Your eyes met his.

"God, I can't get enough of you." He panted out. Each breath grew sharper as he worked himself to his second consecutive high.

You couldn't speak, your brain was far to hazy, only your moans of pleasure and your thoughts screaming his name. The slapping of skin, over the bed creaking beneath you, and your incessant noises— becoming deafeningly loud.

Though you weren't all too worried about about being too loud. The dense snow covered forest beyond the walls of this cabin hushing it all, "Seonghwa!" Had only been a mere whisper to the trees. What had just happened between you and your bestfriend? You couldnt really say-- and he couldnt either as you both tugged on your clothes again. Neither one of you having any clue how to start the conversation at large. Though Seonghwa's voice finally broke the silence.

"That was-" He paused searching for the right word to use.

"Really good." You finished for him, another lapse of silence passed.

"I'll just- go and start a fire." Seonghwa said before leaving the room.

"I'll make dinner." You spoke quicker than you normally would and rushed off to find solitude in the kitchen. In the privacy of your own minds you thought the same thing, What was that? And why did you want more? Though was there even more to ask for when you'd seemed to have done everything?

The two of you slept separately that night, not wanting to fall into the temptation of the others skin. At least not before you figured everything out. But as you laid alone in the bed, and he in the living room in front of the fire, all that either of you could think of was your bodies pressed snuggly to the others. How it felt to have him inside you, the feeling of his hot lips on your skin. It was loud in your thoughts, and every time you tried to push it down and settle your heart, It only got louder. Sleep did eventually come to you, albeit reluctantly. It was rather short lived, you waking up to Seonghwa shaking you awake.

"They cleared the roads, my mom said we should just head home." You nodded in understanding, before watching his back as he left the room, studying the way he moved. It was effortless, graceful. You shook your head, bringing you back to reality.

By the time you were ready, Seonghwa had already had the car fully packed. You could sense that he was eager to get back home and have time for himself to think, and you didn't blame him because you wanted the same thing. You didn't want to walk on egg shells and give each other the silent treatment any longer. Yes, you wanted to figure it all out and for things to go back to normal between you two. But you couldn't help the instinct to run and hide because the feelings in your heart scared you. You'd grown so comfortable knowing Seonghwa as your bestfriend, that you weren't sure of how to react to that security changing overnight. That, your bestfriend could be more than that of a bestfriend.

It was January and the start of the last semester of senior year. A week and a half since you'd slept with you bestfriend. Seonghwa had effectively been avoiding you and you weren't exactly searching for him either, you didn't know how to start that conversation.

'hey, I know we broke every rule in the book between us but, bestfriends still?' You knew it simply wouldn't be that easy. The things he said, the way he touched you, and made you feel. The emotions now a constant linger in your mind.

You couldn't just move on like it were nothing, because it wasn't nothing. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea but you couldn't help but think, that you wanted it again. More of him, if that were even possible. You'd never thought you'd think of Hwa that way, not in a million years. Though you didn't know how to face him. But not seeing and talking to him after being so vulnerable with each other made your heart ache.

It wasn't until he showed up at your door on that rainy Saturday afternoon, that you saw him. Your heart picking up in speed. His wet hair sticking to his forehead, had he always looked this good doing something so simple? Wearing something so simple? You were sure he could hear your heart pounding in your chest.

"We need to talk." He said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, he continued as he stepped through the door, "I can't- we can't avoid this anymore. I'm sorry, y/n, I shouldn't have came onto you like that, god I should've known this would mess everything up."

"Seonghwa-"

"You were vulnerable and I let my feelings get the better of me," he hung his head, "Y/n I'm so sorry, and you don't have to forgive me."

"Seonghwa, I'm not mad at you." you said quickly so he wouldn't interrupt you again.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Why are you?" You asked softly, trying to convey your thoughts, you sighed, "You're just as scared to face these feelings as I am."

His head snapped up and his eyes found yours for, what seemed to be, the first time since he'd been there. He searched your face for any sign that you weren't serious, he came up empty handed. Had you both been feeling this?

"You-?" His eyes continued to search yours, He had so many questions, When? Why him?

"-Love you." You finished his thought with a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His features visibly seemed to soften before he was kissing you again. You had longed for his lips to be on yours again since the moment they left, for you melted so easily into it.

He pulled back resting his forehead on your own, "I love you too." and he delved in for another kiss, before he quickly pulled back again, "Your mom."

His voice a low whisper with a tone of disappointment. But you only chuckled at him.

"She just left for her 72." You told him, and he smiled, already having plans for your alone time.

"Perfect."

You shook your head at his eagerness as he practically dragged you up the stairs to your room, "You know we'll have to tell our parents eventually right?"

"I know," He said, turning to face you once you were both in you bedroom, "But lets just enjoy this alone time." His palms held your cheeks as he kissed you with such passion it felt as if he'd taken your breath away, But you leaned into his warmth anyway before kicking your door shut with your heel.

As the sun slipped beneath the horizon and the rain poured harder outside, he showed you how much he loved you, he told you, and you fully welcomed the lingering emotions. You became his, in the twisted sheets, the loving kisses, in the noises that escaped from your swollen lips, and the baroque, Crimson Lace.

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high-lady-of-earth · 3 years

Text

Warrior Heart

Chapter 1

Riven x Light Fairy Reader

Plot: After the ending of Winx Saga season 1, the reader must navigate the rest of her second year in the shifting school environment. She wants to learn how to fight and defend herself.

Chapter 2

It had been a month since Alfea had been taken over by Rosalind. Headmistress Dowling was still missing and Headmaster Silva had been arrested. Professor Harvey was still teaching, but you could tell that he was on thin ice with Rosalind. Andreas of Eraklyon, Sky’s father, had taken over Silva’s role of training the specialists.

You were an air fairy in your second year. Your powers, which allowed you to manipulate the density of air particles, were firmly within your control and you had been one of Headmistress Dowling’s prodigies.

In your first year, you had roomed with Stella and Rikki. You were there when Stella had lost control of her powers and accidentally blinded Rikki, who was sent away by Queen Luna. After that incident, you had lost one of your best friends and the other began to pull away from you. You watched from afar as Stella’s life at Alfea began to fall apart. Her magic was irreparably damaged. You knew Stella felt incompetent next to you, who had been labeled by Dowling to be the “most talented fairy of your generation”. You tried not to use your powers near Stella, but you still could still feel her resentment, even though you weren’t a mind fairy.

Now, Stella was rooming with first years and you were alone. You had mended your friendship over the summer, especially after she had broken up with Sky. Her new roommates became your friends, even though you lived alone. If you were being honest, it was actually kinda nice to have a room all to yourself.

But now, things were taking a darker turn. Stella’s mother was currently residing in the school, and no one liked her. Queen Luna was cruel, especially to Stella. She doted on you because you were a powerful fairy, but you wished she didn’t. It made Stella feel even more inadequate when she didn’t receive the same attention from her own mother.

Bloom was Rosalind’s protege. She did everything Rosalind ordered, without asking any questions. Bloom and the other girls felt like Aisha had betrayed the rest of them and you honestly just wanted to graduate without anymore drama after your fourth year.

Sky was more of a mystery. You couldn’t tell how he felt about his father’s return. You knew that even though Sky might be happy to see his father, he would never forgive Andreas for Silva’s arrest and subsequent absence. Sky seemed to be dating Bloom though, after another breakup with Stella. He mostly kept to himself, only really hanging out with Bloom. Sky also wasn’t talking to Riven.

Riven and Dane turned out to be Beatrix’s lackeys. They followed her every step and worshipped the ground she walked on. You were disgusted by how much Riven had changed. Before this year, he had been arrogant, but now he was just a straight up asshole.

The specialist presence on campus has increased immensely. Rosalind cited the burned ones as the reason for more security. You couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable whenever you walked to class, the stares of the guards like needles in your skin. You also hated how vulnerable they made you feel. The older specialists were a constant reminder that you were defenseless and you hated that feeling. That was why you were currently at the specialists training field at ten pm, trying to smash a dummy.

You had seen the specialists do it when they were training. They would punch the dummy and it would fall. It couldn’t be that difficult. Ok well, unfortunately it was. You had tried to punch the dummy at least six times already, and it seemed like it was doing more damage to you based on the state of your knuckles.

You put your arms back into position and struck out, this time pushing more strength into your blow. Your fist collided with the center of the target on the dummy and it fell backwards a little bit. You let out a small squeal of excitement at the first amount of progress you had made.

“Why are you so excited? You only made the dummy move a fraction of an inch and it took you eight tries.” Said a voice behind you.

You whirled around to see a person standing behind you, their identity obscured by the darkness. It didn’t matter that it was dark. You knew by the cocky voice exactly who it was.

“It was six tries and no one asked your opinion, Riven.” You replied.

“Well, I wanted to give it anyway. And here’s another one: you’re punches are shit.” He said. You rolled your eyes. It didn’t matter that your punches were shit, you didn’t like being told by him.

“What are you doing out here? Running from your homicidal bitch of a girlfriend?” You said tauntingly.

“1) she’s not my girlfriend. 2) I could ask you the same question, Y/n.”

“So, you were running from Beatrix.”

“No, I was talking a walk, but your pathetic excuse for a punch ruined it.”

“You could just leave then. The dorms are back that way.” You said, pointing to the specialist hall.

“I’m just leaving now. Here’s a free tip: widen your stance and use your core.” Riven said as he walked off. You turned around and did as he suggested, widening the distance between your two feet. Then, you brought your arm back and swung while tightening your core. Your fist hit the dummy and it sailed backwards and hit the ground. You let out a triumphant cry of joy and walked back to your room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning, the first thing you noticed was your knuckles. They were red and raw. If any of your friends saw your hands, they wouldn’t stop asking questions. You put on a sweater which was just a hint too big and pulled the sleeves over your hands.

You walked to your first class, which was taught by Rosalind. Her teaching style was way different from Headmistress Dowling’s. Instead of sitting at desks, you were told to stand around the edge of the room. All of the desks had been removed from the classroom and a table small table had been set up in the middle of the open space. On it were three bowls that contained water, dirt, and sticks.

“Good morning, class. Today, we will be learning how to use our magic without the guidance of our hands.” Rosalind said. The class chittered with excitement. This was the most exciting lesson for second years.

“We’re going to be doing things a little differently. Headmistress Dowling taught you useless magic. I will be teaching you how to use it offensively and we will practice on each other.” Rosalind continued. Someone spoke up.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to use our magic on other students!” Your classmate said.

“Using your magic on each other is the only way to hone your skills. This new rule will be put into place effective immediately.” Rosalind replied.

You watched as Rosalind called up two of your classmates. One was an earth fairy and the other was a water fairy. Rosalind proceeded to teach them how to draw on their magic without using their hands. Headmistress Dowling and already taught you this, so you zoned out. Instead of watching the two fairies in the center try to battle it out, you thought about last night.

You were surprised that Riven had helped you. A part of his first year self had come through and you were pleasantly happy about it. It was good to know that he wasn’t just Beatrix’s lap dog.

“Y/n and Fiora, you’re up next.” Rosalind said. You rolled your eyes. Fairy parents were so unoriginal with names for their children. Of course Fiora was a fire fairy.

You stepped into the center of the room. You reached out with your mind and the air around you condensed, becoming a thick shield. It was invisible, so no one could tell that you had already armed yourself.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Fiora said. She was holding a bunch of the sticks you had seen in one of the bowls. Well, it seemed like her plan was to torch the stick and throw it at you, just like the three other fire fairies had done in the last few rounds. How unoriginal, you thought. You were honestly bored of this already.

You nodded and reached out with your mind once again. Fiora’s eyes lit up as she used her powers and stared at the sticks, but nothing happened. She knit her eyebrows in concentration. The concentration turned to confusion when the sticks turned black.

“What are you doing?” Fiora said to you. Everyone was now staring at you intensely. Honestly, it was really simple. Fire needed oxygen to light, so you had removed the oxygen in the air from around your the sticks, creating a little bubble around them. Fiora was just heating them up to the point where they charred. You tell she was growing frustrated and angry so you drew your powers back from her.

What you didn’t expect, thought, was for her to launch two fireballs at you. You had still kept the shield of air up around you, so they hit the barrier and fizzled out. Fiora launched fireball after fireball at you and she began sweating. She was wearing herself out, but you weren’t even fazed. You wanted to end this, so you reached out with your power and formed a hand with the air in front of Fiora. You used the hand to push her towards the edge of the room.

Rosalind began clapping while the other students stared at you in awe.

“Now that is a perfect example of offensive mental magic!” Rosalind exclaimed.

Hi!! I hope you liked the first chapter of this:) I will be posting the next chapter in a couple of days.

#fate riven #fate: winx saga #fate: the winx saga #fate winx saga #fate the winx saga #riven x reader #stella #sky of eraklyon #winx bloom #winx fanfic #winx club

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ohnopoe · 3 years

Text

Potential Breakup Song | Jack Daniels

Ship: Jack Daniels x Reader Summary: It’s your birthday, and all you want to do is have a few drinks with your boyfriend, but when he doesn’t show, your coworker, Jack, takes it upon himself to check on you Word Count: 2.2k+ Tagging: @the-purity-pen Author’s Note: Ok so this... idk how this happened tbh. BUT I’d kind of love to write more for these two, I have some slight ideas, but idk... so if you’d like to see something more please let me know!

Sitting there alone at the little booth you had claimed over an hour earlier certainly wasn’t how you had expected the evening to go. You had been happy, excited even, when you finally grabbed your coat to leave Statesmen for the day, readying yourself for a proper, fun night out with your boyfriend.

Sure, you’d had to remind him twice already to meet you at the little bar you liked that was not far from work, and sure maybe it would have been fun to invite some friends too, but this was your birthday, and even having a few drinks with your man seemed better than nothing.

But the day had seemed to drag on, as if it knew you were anticipating the well-needed break.

With every knock on the door, a part of you couldn’t help but hope for something, although you couldn’t quite tell what.

Would it have been nice if your coworkers had realised what day it was? Sure. But then, hiding it off facebook had been your decision, and you couldn’t truly blame them for not knowing when you were so careful about keeping things separate between work and home. But with each interruption to your work came a following disappointment. Reports were required, devices needed testing, and not one person seemed to have anything but more work to add to your pile.

Dread was dancing in your periphery, but you refused to give into it.

You had decided this. You had been the one to do that damn stupid idea and hide your information in some desperate plea that someone would remember you even without the irritating little notification Facebook offered. You couldn’t blame others for your own actions, no matter how much it hurt to feel so damned forgotten on your birthday of all things.

But, as you sat alone in the booth at your favourite bar, well, that dread sure was starting to egg away at you.

Another glance at your phone, a silent reminder of just how long you’d been waiting along with the lack of any explanation, only helped solidify your negativity. What if he wasn’t coming? What if he’d forgotten too?

The drink you’d been nursing for the better part of an hour sat before you, the ice had melted into the mix, making it weak and watery as you took a hesitant sip once more. If he wasn’t there by the time you finished, you’d leave. That’s what you’d said to yourself some thirty minutes ago when the drink had arrived. But even you could see you were drawing out the inevitable now, taking slow sips in the hopes of prolonging what little chance there was.

“Either that’s the worst damn drink you’ve ever had, or somethin’s on your mind,” a familiar voice almost cooed from above you, amusement tangling with something you couldn’t quite place as the silhouette of Agent Whiskey blocked out a good portion of the bar.

Offering a half hearted smile, you took a determined gulp of the drink in your hand, stubbornly meeting his gaze as you did so. There was always something about the agent that brought out a fierce competitive side in you, and maybe it was the sheer determination to not appear as pathetic as you felt, but you found yourself offering a smirk as you placed it down on the table without a word, silently challenging him.

“Alright, maybe not,” he offered a chuckle, lips pulling into a smile and drawing out that dimple that caught far too much attention.

“Something I can help you with, Whiskey?” and damn it, that didn’t come off half as harsh as you had hoped. Hell, it didn’t even come off sarcastic. The usual fire in your tone seemed lost, and you could only hope he didn’t hear the way your voice broke ever so slightly with the question.

You weren’t used to this. You’d kept your private life private for a reason, kept yourself away from the work functions and the celebratory drinks in the hopes of distancing yourself from the people you worked with for the most part, and now, having him in front of you out in the real world, when you were already so damn close to breaking… it wasn’t something you were quite prepared for.

“You looked like you could use some company,” he answered simply with a shrug, and if his eyes hadn’t blazed with that intensity you’d seen so often when he was in the field, you might just have believed he was as nonchalant as he attempted to appear.

But his statement brought another thought, more harrowing than the last, and you had to take another sip of your drink to wet your suddenly dry throat as it plagued you.

“How long have you been watching me?”

With a sigh, that playful smirk you’d seen so often slipped from his lips. With a quick point to the opposite side of the booth, he waited until you nodded your consent before slipping in with yet another sigh, but still he didn’t answer your question.

“Don’t see you around here often,” and it almost sounded like a line, were it not for the curious way his gaze took you in as he spoke.

Your shrug was an attempt at something casual, but you knew he was too damn good at reading people to fall for that. “Maybe it wasn’t my idea,” it was. “Maybe someone asked me here,” they didn’t.

But he seemed to read more from your words than you thought you had offered, his attention falling from you to the drink in your hand, before darting around the room and landing on the door.

“Well, he’s a damn fool to leave you waiting,” he huffed, and, while you still felt on edge being around the agent you worked with day in and day out, a small, albeit genuine, smile broke through your demeanour.

It was just a line, just a statement anyone would make upon hearing someone had potentially been stood up. Your mind was screaming at you to remember that it didn’t truly hold the weight you desperately wished it did. But your heart clung to those words.

Were you really this desperate for someone to actually care about you on your birthday that you were clinging to hollow words said out of propriety? Damn, maybe you were. Maybe Ginger had been right all along, you really should go out with her some time, maybe having some real friends at work wouldn’t be all that bad after all.

“Alright, what about this,” Jack broke your harrowing line of thought with that charming smile he had down pat. “I buy you a drink, we relax, have a good time… if he shows, he shows, and I’ll leave y’all to it, if not, well, hopefully I’m not the worst company.”

A laugh, the first you’d managed all day, escaped your lips as you shook your head at the cowboy’s poor attempt at humility.

“Why would you do that?” the question sounded meeker than you would have liked, and you had to glance away when his confused gaze met yours. But the bar was filled with distractions, even if it wasn’t particularly busy, and you quickly clung to them as you regained some sort of a backbone. “You know damn well half the bar is eyeing you off, you don’t need to waste your evening on me, Jack.”

If his breath caught at hearing your slip up, hearing you utter his name for the first time in far too long, well, he was damn good at hiding it behind that playful smirk. But there was still that shine to his gaze as he watched you so intently that you could feel it even as you focused on swirling the small remainders of your drink.

“And leave you to this lot?” he questioned playfully, raising a brow as he gestured around you both comically. “Honey, I know all too well what these types would do to a pretty lil thing like you, all alone.”

“You would know,” you scoffed a laugh, and, damn it, how was it so easy to relax around him? You’d known him for years, sure, but never personally, always keeping that carefully concocted professional appearance in place.

“Darlin’, are you implying something here?” there it was, that playful lilt to his tone that he always seemed to offer at just the right time, almost cracking your hard exterior more times that you’d care to admit.

“You forget, Whiskey,” you pause, giving him a pointed look that didn’t quite have its usual impact as your lips desperately struggled to hide that playful smile that wanted to break free. “I’ve been on the other end of the comms during far too many of your missions. I know all too well what you’re capable of.”

The smirk he gave in response held a twinge of danger, his eyes lighting up as he leant forwards just enough to capture your full attention. This was a side of Jack you had seen through his glasses many times, a side he hadn’t shown you since you shot him down cold at the very beginning of your working together, and it was a side that could thrill even the most cold hearted of individuals, you were sure.

“Oh, darlin’, you have no idea.”

Well, that certainly shouldn’t have affected you as much as it did.

You’d been working with Whiskey for years now, you knew all too well what he was like, how much he liked to flirt and mess around. You’d watched through his glasses camera on numerous occasions as he flirted his way into the beds of targets, each time rolling your eyes to yourself because you’d surely never fall for something so cheesy.

But then, you’d always been safely seeing things from his perspective, hadn’t you? You’d never seen that intense gaze he offered along with those words, never watched as his tongue darted out to wet those plush lips… damn, maybe you weren’t as strong as you had always thought.

“Babe, hey!” a puffed out breath came from beside you, drawing your attention away from the perfect cupid’s bow that was hidden behind that neatly trimmed moustache.

You almost jumped at the sound, turning quickly to see your boyfriend standing there, looking none too happy to see you sitting there with another man, and, despite the fact you’d been waiting for, was that two hours now?, you felt guilt creep in.

“Hey!” you offered the brightest smile you could, even if it felt somewhat off as you glanced between the two men.

They couldn’t have been more different if they tried. One, the epitome of the suave cowboy, the other in what he so affectionally labelled ‘prime casual fashion’, or, as you secretly called it, jumped up t-shirts that had no right to charge as much as they did. Jack was leaning back in the booth, exuding comfort and confidence, while your boyfriend stood there glancing between you and Jack with a tense jaw. In fact, the only similarity between the two seemed to be the intense fire that sat in their gazes as they eyed one another up.

Oh good, yet another display of stupid macho masculinity. With a roll of your eyes, you cleared your throat, quickly gaining the attention of the silently feuding men. “Jack, this is my boyfriend, Tim-”

“Timothy,” Tim interjected, standing up even straighter, as if the use of his full name would hold some form of power.

Closing your eyes to avoid rolling them once more as you watched him look down his nose at Whiskey, you ignored the interruption. “Tim,” you started once more, more than a hint of irritation in your tone at the fact the same man who had left you waiting for so long was now trying to play some kind of stupid game. “This is Jack, we work together.”

It seemed the two didn’t particularly care about introductions, or, for that matter, manners, as they continued to stare at one another in silence for a long moment.

“I’ll leave y’all to it,” Jack spoke suddenly, breaking the tense atmosphere with a nod as he moved far too smoothly out of the booth. How he always seemed to move with such elegance had often caused you to wonder. It didn’t seem to match the macho cowboy exterior he gave off, but worked so seamlessly when he was in a fight. It was a part of him, small and subtle, that had caught your attention more times than it ought.

Only when Tim sidled up next to you, pushing you further into the booth did your mind fall back to reality with a frown. Words were already falling out of his mouth, mentions of his day, of the clients he had dealt with, and not a word of apology for how late he was, and that same resignation you had felt earlier seemed to sweep over you once more.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Jack spoke softly, the words somehow a farewell. His smile was gentle as he met your surprised gaze.

And then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone, leaving the bar’s doors swaying after him as your boyfriend clambered for your attention.

#jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey #kingsman #My fic

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justkending · 3 years

Text

One Night Flame (Epilogue)

Series Summary: Y/N is a 3rd grade teacher, who had a really bad breakup. To help cheer her up, her friends convince her to go out to a bar on a school night, something she never does now a day, and things take an unpredictable turn. The stranger she meets, and later has a one night stand with, may be harder to get rid of than she thought.

Pairing: Y/N Carter x Dean Winchester

Word Count: 2200+

A/N: Pretty sure I wrote this series last year, and I’m just now getting around to writing a epilogue... OOPS! Anyway, finals are this week, so as soon as Friday comes... I’M FREE FOR 6 WEEKS BEFORE THE NEXT SEMESTER!! Which means, hopefully I can sit down and write:) So, enjoy the little I can write right now, and if you haven’t read the series yet! Please do! It’s a good one;)

Epilogue:

“The turkey Dean! The turkey!”

“Right! Right! I’m getting it…” Dean came from the living room, running through the backdoor as the timer went off for his experimental smoked turkey he was trying out for thanksgiving this year.

“How do you think it’s going to go?” Sam asked, grabbing his wine glass that you had already refilled twice since he’d been there.

He was helping you with the side dishes as Jess and her grandparents were in the living room, playing board games, waiting for dinner to be ready. Mon and Benny were also there for your feast since you and Dean had introduced them to each other about a month ago. They had really hit it off actually. Hence, spending thanksgiving with friends this year since they didn’t have really close family.

“Honestly, pretty good. As soon as he got that damn smoker, he hasn’t stopped researching and finding recipes to use it. Even did a few practice rounds with brisket and pork,” you replied, putting the last bit of the deviled eggs on the platter in front of you before setting it up nicely.

“Ok, but a whole turkey compared to brisket?” Sam questioned, raising his glass with an eyebrow just as high.

“Yeah, you’re right. That’s why I doubled up on the sides, and I have a ham in the oven,” you chuckled, placing your hand on your belly unconsciously.

Sam looked down at the motion. Everyone close to you knew. You told them pretty soon once you found out everything was healthy and on the right track in the pregnancy.

“So… When do you guys figure out the sex?” Sam said, stepping closer and with a smile. “It’s getting close to that time right?”

It was. You were a little over 3 and a half months pregnant. You were the tiniest bit showing, but as soon as the bump became even a little visible, Dean couldn’t keep his hands off of your stomach. It was like he had magnets connected to them. You actually had gotten the results back yesterday, but were waiting to tell the whole family. Dean wanted to wait until his parents were in town, but as soon as you got the letter he almost ripped it open in excitement. Lucky for you, you hid it and convinced him to wait one more day like you planned.

“Yeah actually. We, um,” you leaned in making sure no one snuck into the kitchen while you told him the little secret. “The letter came yesterday. We’re planning on opening it with all you guys after dinner.”

“After?!” Sam shouted, getting a hush from you. “Aw, come on. You’re going to make us wait?”

“They don’t even know their waiting,” you giggled, turning to the rolls now. Making sure the butter and silverware was out for final touches.

“But I do, and now I have to wait,” Sam kinda pouted reminding you of Dean.

“Hey, you asked, and I answered. Plus, you’re going to be waiting 45 minutes max. Who’s to say Dean can even wait that long,” you laughed again rolling your eyes.

“Ok, turkey is done, and boy do I have a good feeling about it,” Dean said coming in with a proud smile.

“Have you finally mastered the smoker?” you asked, placing a hand on you hip and the other on straightening your shirt.

“Oh sweetheart, can’t you smell the victory. I’ve more than mastered it,” he winked walking over and placing that magnet of a hand on your belly without even thinking twice.

“It’s not just in the smell. We have to taste it too,” Sam snorted.

“Shut up bitch,” Dean huffed.

“Dean,” you groaned knowing Jessie was in the other room.

“Jerk,” Sam retorted instantly.

“Children!” you interrupted. “Dinner smells amazing, and we should probably invite our guest to eat it before it gets cold. Hmm?” you said poking Dean’s side.

“Ok, ok. I’ll start carving the turkey. Sam go get everyone,” Dean leaned in giving you a peck on the cheek before moving to the giant bird wrapped in foil. Once Sam was out of the room Dean pulled you close to where he was. “So, you have the envelope?”

“It’s still tucked away from you, you little sneaker. I’ll grab it once we finish dinner.” You maneuvered to where you leaned your cheek on his shoulder and a hand around his back as you watched him carefully begin to carve the turkey. He wasn’t wrong, it did smell amazing.

“I was thinking maybe before dinner, and then we eat in celebration,” he said bargaining with you. “I mean, I was just thinking…”

“Just thinking? Like thinking all night, just thinking?”

“Maybe…” he dragged out.

You let out a sigh with a little laugh as you squeeze his bicep. “Ok you impatient man. I’ll go get the envelope. We can do it before dinner if that’s ok with everyone.”

Dean pumped a fist in the air before giving her a big kiss on the cheek. “You go grab that, and I’ll finish carving up this bad boy. Hey Sam, you got everyone?” he shouted toward the living room as Y/N walked out.

A few minutes later, everyone was in the kitchen looking at the buffet style of thanksgiving goodies scatter across the counter tops. Mashed Potatoes, rolls and biscuits, turkey, gravy, vegetables, stuffing, sweet potato and green bean casserole, the list went on. Y/N walking in last with the envelope in her hands discreetly. Dean saw her slightly wave it at him and he smiled before clapping his hands together.

“Ok everyone, first off, thank you for allowing Y/N and I to host this year and bring you to our house. We are so very thankful for each and everyone of you, and could not ask for a better group of people in our lives.” Dean smiled as Y/N came and positioned herself into his side. Reflectively, his arm wrapping around her waist pulling her as close to him as he could get her. “We are also very grateful for another thing that happened to us this year,” he grinned, moving a hand to her belly.

“Immensely,” Y/N smiled at him. The crowd in front of them happy to see their love. “Because of that, we thought why not have some of our favorite people here to share the next step in our news.” She turned back to them.

“Wait, what next step?” Mary asked, standing next to her husband.

“Oh, hell yeah,” Sam cheered, getting a small slap to the arm by his mom at the language. “Sorry.”

“Wait, do you guys know the gender?” Smart little Jessie spoke up.

“That we do,” Dean grinned all proud.

“Hey Jessie,” Y/N said, bending down some to her level. “The results are in this envelope. Do you want to open them and read it for us?”

“I don’t want to mess it up,” she said, slightly nervous.

“That’s ok. I’m sure your dad would love to help you,” Y/N encouraged.

“Yeah, come on over here Jay. I’ll help ya figure it out,” Sam said squatting with open arms.

She nodded, taking the envelope and Dean helped Y/N back to her feet before they stood next to each other ready for the reveal.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Monique jumped up and down. The rest of the room balancing on their toes in excitement watching Jessie and Sam open the little white paper treasure chest.

“I’m going to have another grandbaby!” Mary cheered her hands held tightly together as John laughed.

“Ok, let’s see,” Sam said, scanning the paper for the information, and then pointing it out to Jess. “You ready?”

The excitement for the parents caused them to hold each other tightly in anticipation.

“Can I say it?” Jessie asked, waiting for confirmation as she looked at her dad.

“Yeah, go for it.”

“It’s a girl!” Jessie jumped up and down as Sam smiled. “I’m going to get another girlfriend!”

“Oh my God!” Dean shouted, turning to Y/N and picking her up off the ground gently. The rest of the room cheered and jumped with joy as well. “We’re having a baby girl!”

“We are!” Y/N laughed holding onto Dean.

Once everyone had had their moment to jump and scream, they went around hugging and congratulating the couple.

“I say we dine to that,” Dean said, raising a beer.

“I agree with that,” Y/N nodded, raising her sparkling cider.

Everyone dug into their meals and conversation went around the table. Some about school, some about the fire station, some about John thinking of adding on to the garage he ran. But the main topic of interest… Baby names? Nursery ideas? Who do you think she’s going to look like? When is the wedding again?Are you going to take off extra time at work? Have you gone dress shopping yet? How about babysitters? Do you know any around the area?

“Oh, don’t worry about babysitters. That’s what the grandparents are for. And since I work from home, I’ll gladly take her off your hand when the time comes,” Mary winked.

“We’ll definitely be calling you sometime mom. Don’t worry,” Dean laughed leaning back after a full meal. “Now, where’s the pie?”

______

Later that night.

“So a girl? You think you can handle that?” Y/N smiled as she pulled the covers back and maneuvered to her side of the bed. Her nightly routine was all done as Dean brushed his teeth in the connected bathroom.

“Of course I can handle that. I helped Sammy raise Jessie. What? You think I can’t do it? Think of me as a boy dad?” Dean wrinkled eyebrows after spitting the toothpaste out.

“Dean, no one said anything about you not being able to do it. I’m just saying, and even Jessie hasn’t got to this age, girls tend to grow up and-” she started.

“No, no. I’m not talking about growing up and starting dating, if that’s what you’re getting at. Cause she’s still a little bean in your belly, and even after she comes out, she’ll be a little bean forever,” Dean started.

“I was going to say that I feel like teenage angst with girls is a lot harder, but you just skipped right to the dating part,” Y/N laughed, grabbing her book on her bedside and gently running a hand up and down her stomach.

“Either way, I’ll take care of it,” Dean said as he flossed in the mirror. “By the way, any of those names mentioned at dinner sound any good to you?”

“Although I love your mom, I don’t think Bertha is going to be up there…”

“Yeah, I don’t know where she got that. I think it was a family name way back when, but I’m not even so sure about that,” Dean cringed coming back in the room. “What about Daisy? That was Jessie’s, wasn’t it?”

“Eh, not bad, but I feel like there is something better. No offense to Jess.”

“Yeah, agreed,” he said, sliding in the bed and making himself mold into Y/N’s side as she read her book in one hand, and played with his hair in the other.

“What about Winona?” Y/N offered.

“Like Ryder?” Dean perked up.

“Well I guess, but that wasn’t who I was thinking of. Just liked the name,” she chuckled.

“What about Ryder? That’s badass,” Dean said no in his own world. When he didn’t get a response he looked up to see Y/N with a bitch face. “What?”

“Nothing, dork,” Y/N sighed. “But let’s keep our options open.

“Ok, hit me with another.”

“I like Reese…”

“Not bad, not bad. What about Dakota?” Dean countered. “I have a really good friend that lives up there in South Dakota.”

“Who do you know in South Dakota,” Y/N shrugged, going back to the book in front of her.

“Same person who was able to pull some strings and get me your address when I first met you,” Dean admitted.

“What?” Y/N said looking back at him.

“Her name’s Jody. She’s in the police force up there, and she has some outs and ins with the big people,” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

“You little rascal. You really went above and beyond to bring me that scarf back,” Y/N laughed.

“I had to see ya again darling. Can you blame me?” Dean leaned up kissing her cheek. “Hey, let’s talk about all this tomorrow. Cooking up Big Bird himself made me tired. Then you add in-”

“The 3 slices of pie you ate on top of your thanksgiving plate? Yeah, you’re about to have a carb and sugar crash.”

“You guessed it.”

“Get some sleep Dean-o,” she smiled as he cozied up into her while she read her book. Within minutes his soft snoring took up the room. Like every night, he had to fall asleep with at least one of his hands on her stomach. She woke up with him doing the same thing too. “You’re going to be an amazing father, Dean Winchester. Glad I’m doing this with you.”

One Night Flame Tag:

@a-magey @thatgirl1456 @marvelfansworld @shadowkat-83 @death-unbecomes-you @closetspngirl @perpetualabsurdity @deansyahtzee @vicmc624 @classydreamerprofessorpeanut @sisterslytherinog @carryon-doctor-lock @spndeanlover1967 @akshi8278 @jjlevin @parinarain @capsiclehan @word-scribbless @kind-im-gedankennebel @camillechan @larpandtherealgirl @winchestergirl82 @i-am-a-mes @atomicloverdonkeyperson @tranquility-or-chaos

Supernatural Tags:

@flamencodiva @hobby27 @sucker-for-dean @deans-baby-momma @squirrelgirl67 @death-unbecomes-you @snffbeebee @larpandtherealgirl @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @spnbaby-67 @akshi8278 @musiclovinchic93 @vicmc624 @carryon-doctor-lock @perpetualabsurdity @herscrunchiehairtie @spnwoman @shamelesslydean @monkeymcpoopoo @winchestergirl82 @luciathewinchestergirl @deansyahtzee @thatgirl1456 @sucker-for-dean @atomicloverdonkeyperson @screechingartisancashbailiff

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @traceyaudette @kakakatey @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @snffbeebee @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted

#spn au series #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester firefighter #dean winchester firefighter au series #dean winchester firefighter au #reader x dean winchester #justkending #dean winchester #spn #supernatural #supernatural au series #supernatural au #spn series #spn au

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radishaur · 4 years

Text

Sunshine Boy (Hinata x Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Part: 1/1

Summary: When you decided to sit in the park to think, you didn’t expect it to rain. You were soaking wet and miserable until one orange haired ray of sunshine appeared.

Author’s Note: Please let me know if my read more tab is working! For some reason, I’ve been having trouble adding it in.

•••

You had accepted your fate. Long before it had even begun to rain, you saw the signs and just decided to accept it. You sprawled out in the grass and continued wallowing in your own pity. Soon your tears became mixed with the thick downpour of rain that soaked you from head to toe.

You supposed you must have looked really weird laying in the grass and crying silently, but at this point you couldn’t really find it in you to care. Getting broken up with can do that to you. Especially when it’s your first breakup and the person used to be your best friend.

You were so lost in thought that you almost missed the way the rain had stopped coming down. You sighed, almost ready to jump back into your thoughts when you realized the rain only stopped pouring on your upper half. You cracked your eyes open and saw a black umbrella accompanied by a head of bright orange hair. Your eyes shot wide open and you finally were able to take in the details of the boy standing by your head above you. Despite him being upside down to you, you could see that he had piercing brown eyes, a fluffy head of orange hair, and your school’s uniform on.

“Hi. My name is Hinata. Are you ok?”

Normally, you would never talk to a complete stranger about your issues. Never in a million years did you imagine you would, but you were already laying down in the grass getting soaked and there was something about the boy above you that drew you in. It was like he was a glowing ball of light in all of your gloom. And so, you decided to answer.

“My boyfriend and best friend of 2 years broke up with me to date other girls, so I decided to wallow in my own self pity. Then it started raining, so...here I am.”

Instead of all the millions of things he could have asked, instead he asked, “Is it making you feel any better?”

You paused for a moment to think about it. To be honest, it did feel kind of nice. Even if your clothes were sticking to you and you would probably catch a cold later, it did feel nice.

“Yes. Actually, it does,” you answered honestly, a ghost of a smile making its way onto your face.

Hinata stayed still for a moment, as if thinking about something, before grinning widely and beginning to close his umbrella. You furrowed you’re brows as you watched him but said nothing.

“I think I’ll join you then,” he said simply, placing his stuff down and then moving to lay down by your side.

You spent the next 2 hours laying down and talking about pretty much everything under the sun. By the end of it, you had almost forgotten why you had come out here in the first place. Hinata had captivated all of your attention and it was like there wasn’t anyone else in the world but the two of you during that time. It was one of the most relaxing experiences you’d ever had.

Turning your head to look at him one last time before you had to leave, you realized for the first time just how close the two of you had gotten. His face was a mere few inches away from yours and he must have realized it as well because his face burst out into a furious blush as he laughed nervously and looked back up at the sky.

“My name is Y/N L/N, by the way. I realized I never actually introduced myself,” you said quietly, trying to calm the frantic beating of your heart from moments ago.

He cautiously turned to look back at you and smiled. It was a beautiful smile that dazzled and made something warm settle in your stomach.

“That’s a really cool name! My first name is Shoyo,” he replied, his smile never wavering.

You wished you could stay longer, but your mother would already be mad at you for staying this long.

“Well, Hinata, as much as I’d like to stay I really should be going home,” you sighed, turning to face the sky and beginning to sit up.

He followed you instantly and began reaching for the umbrella behind him. When you were finally on your feet, he was as well, holding out the umbrella for you to take.

“I can’t take that!” you argued, shoving it back towards him, “Besides, I’m already soaked so it doesn’t matter if I get more wet.”

“I ride my bike home so I can’t use it anyway,” he responded, shoving it right back towards you.

You hesitated for a moment before finally taking it and opening it above the two of you. Now that you were both standing, you realized just how short he was. You hadn’t really noticed how tall or short he was when he was standing above you and laying beside you.

“I can hear you thinking it! I know I’m short, you don’t have to tease me!” he exclaimed, pouting slightly as you smirked.

“I didn’t say anything,” you said, biting your lip to keep yourself from smiling.

Truth be told, you could care less if he was taller or shorter than you and by how much. Height was such a stupid thing to worry about when dating was involved.

You caught your train of thought and blushed slightly at the realization. Sure Hinata was definitely attractive and you got along really well, but you were just broken up with and he could be taken for all you know! You shook your head and focused back on the present moment.

“When can I give this back to you?” you asked him, gesturing to the umbrella.

“Just come by the gym! You can give it to me then. Oh! And then you can watch me play!” he exclaimed excitedly.

You heart fluttered at the invitation and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at his enthusiasm. You agreed to meet him after school and then parted ways. Your mother scolded you for laying in the cold, but she comforted you once hearing the reason why.

The next day, you found Hinata at the gym like promised and gave him his umbrella back. You also stuck around to watch for a little bit and were amazed at what you saw. Despite his height, he had an amazing jump. The first time you saw it, it was like the world moved in slow motion. It was as if he was flying. Even more amazing was how happy he was afterwards. The smile on his face when he jumped in the air and sent the ball flying over the net was brighter than you’d ever seen before.

It was enough to get you coming back again and again to watch. You always helped out around the court by cleaning up and keeping score during practice matches. The team had come to recognize you as one of them fairly quickly even if you didn’t hold an official position. Apparently that didn’t matter to them as long as you supported them. You had to admit that it made you happy to be there, so if they would allow you, you would continue to come.

Afterwards, Hinata always walked with you part of the way home. Kageyama, the grumpy setter who you had come to befriend as well, always split with the two of you a few blocks early. Hinata and you would always walk to the park before you finally went seperate ways.

This continued on for months. Eventually, Yachi offered for you to become the official assistant manager, to which you accepted. Hinata was beyond excited to hear the news, especially since it meant he got to spend more time with you. Knowing he cared that much sent those all too familiar butterflies off.

Watching Hinata play during practice was mesmerizing, but watching him play during a real game was something else. Especially one as important as this one. It was the rematch against Aoba Johsai that everybody had been waiting for. Your anxiety was through the room as you watched them go back and forth, neither team ever continuously having the lead. The closer down the wire it got, the more anxious you became.

After their previous loss against them, Hinata had been devastated. You two had laid down in the grass just like the first day you met and stayed there for hours as he cried. It broke your heart to see him so sad, but watching him right now he was nothing but determined. It made something swell up inside you to see him continue to give it his all. He would never give up and that was one reason you had fallen for him.

So, as you watched Hinata slam the ball down onto the other side of the court, you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming out of joy. On that walk home, Hinata was the happiest you had ever seen him. He was talking animatedly as he went, jumping up and down when he got extra excited.

“And did you see when I went WHOMP and they went WHAH. And then-,” Hinata was saying, only stopping when you interrupted.

“Hinata, we’re at the park. Aren’t you gonna start heading home?” you asked, giggling slightly as he came back to reality and began taking in his surroundings.

“Oh. Right. Well uh.... I wouldn’t mind walking you all the way today,” he suggested, blushing slightly as he rushed to add, “Only if you want to! It’s totally fine if you don’t. I get it.”

You simply laughed, putting your hand on arm to stop him from freaking out. He froze at the contact and you smiled at him.

“I wouldn’t mind if you walked me,” you said.

After that, Hinata continued walking you all the way home. You never questioned him, only thanking him and giving him a quick hug before heading inside each time. He always stuttered a response before taking off back towards the park.

Time kept passing and with each day, you realized just how gone you were for him. He had become the bright shining light that was always there for you. He inspired you to do your best at what you loved and to never give up. He cheered you up when you were sad and celebrated with you when you were happy. He was passionate and unapologetically himself. He made you forget about the what if’s and start focusing on the present. When he was with you, you felt invincible. Like you could do anything.

It didn’t even occur to you that he could feel the same. He was so obsessed with volleyball that you doubted he had time to worry about feelings and girls. Volleyball was his whole life. Everytime you thought that maybe he did like you back, Kageyama’s words came rushing back to you. It was at lunch when you were buying drinks from the vending machine with him when he made the comment in passing after turning down a confession.

“I don’t even have time to have feelings. Volleyball is all I need right now.”

The only other person who loved volleyball as much as Hinata was Kageyama, so it was an easy assumption to make that he would feel the same. It was the one topic that the two of you never discussed on your walls home. Besides the few times you talked about your ex, the two of you never talked about crushes. You didn’t think much of it, simply resigning yourself to a one sided crush.

Still, that didn’t mean your mind didn’t wander at times. Sometimes his hand would brush yours and you could almost see a blush dusting his cheeks or he would meet your eyes from across the room and just smile like he had successfully done a quick attack. It was times like those, like the one you were in right now, laying in the grass beside him, that made you think maybe he could like you back.

The only way to know for sure was to ask.

“Hey Hinata?” you asked, turning your head to look at him.

“What?”

“Do you like anyone?”

Hinata’s eyes widened in shock and he blushed a furious red color. He looked back up towards the sky and laughed nervously.

“D-Do I like anyone?” he repeated the question as if to confirm he had heard it right.

You turned to look at the sky as well, picking at your nails absently to calm your nerves. There was an awkward silence for a few moments before you spoke again.

“Yea. We’ve talked about pretty much everything but that, so I was curious,” you explained.

“R-Right. Well I... I guess I just didn’t want to talk about it in case you still like your ex,” he said, sighing slightly at the end, “I didn’t want to bring up bad memories.”

“Oh god. Definitely not,” you replied, your face scrunching up at the mere idea of it, “We both saw how that ended. I’d rather not do it again.”

Hinata was uncharacteristically quiet. You snuck a glance at him and saw that his brows were furrowed as if he was deep in thought. You were about to call out his name when he finally said something.

“I guess I do like someone.”

You looked back up at the sky, your heart sinking a bit at his response. Of course it wouldn’t be you. You swallowed your own feelings in favor of being a good friend.

“Who is it?” you asked, clenching your fists to get them to stop shaking.

“W-What? I can’t say who it is!” he exclaimed, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden outburst.

You looked at him once more. He was definitely blushing now and he was chewing on his lip as well. You took a moment to admire the way the sun made his hair seem like it was glowing. He really was like a ray of sunshine, inside and out.

“Why not? I thought we were best friends?” you asked him.

He sighed with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes as he let out a defeated, “Yeah. We are.”

You were slightly confused as to why he said it like that, but you let it go.

“Alright, well if you won’t tell me who she is, at least tell me about her,” you compromised.

“Fine, but first you have to tell me if there’s someone you like,” he said, causing my stomach to churn nervously.

“I do,” you said, forcing your voice to remain emotionless.

The two of you became silent, feeling the slight tension buzzing through the air around you. Neither of you made any moves to break it at first. After a minute or two went by, Hinata finally began to talk.

“She’s amazing,” he began, clearly referring to his crush, “She’s always helping me out when I need it the most and she believes in my dream to become the next Tiny Giant. She’s pretty too. Everytime I see her my stomach goes all whoosh and I don’t know what to say. But she never makes fun of me for it. She just goes with it and makes me feel like I can be myself for once.”

“She sounds really special,” you managed to say, forcing yourself to smile slightly as you looked over at him.

This time, when you did, he was already looking at you. His brown eyes stared into yours and you could see so much love in them. Whoever he did like was truly lucky.

“She is,” he whispered.

You forced a tight lipped smile to come as you fought back the sinking feeling in your stomach. Seeing how much adoration he had in his eyes for that girl made you more jealous than you’d ever felt before. It was the same look he had when he had finally learned how to do the quick attack with his eyes open. Anyone who was able to get Hinata looking that happy was truly someone to admire.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat slightly as he looked back up at the sky, “Tell me about who you like.”

“Ok, fine. But I’m gonna be vague otherwise you’ll figure it out,” you sighed, thinking for a moment before saying, “He’s someone really close to me. He’s nothing like I expected him to be, but in the best way possible. I always find myself gravitating towards him when I’m sad because his passion and drive always inspires me to do better. I’ve never met someone as determined as him. And his eyes are...beautiful. I could look at them forever and never get bored.”

Hinata sat up and turned to face you, his expression unreadable. You furrowed your brows and propped yourself up as well, cocking your head slightly out of confusion.

“I think I know who you like,” he said softly, something flashy quickly across his expression and then disappearing, “And I think I know why you didn’t want to tell me.”

“Y-You do?” you asked, your heart racing as you waited for him to turn you down.

“You like Kageyama, don’t you? You didn’t want to tell me because you thought I’d tell him,” he replied, causing you to release a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

“Hinata, that’s-“ you began to explain as he cut you off.

“L/N it’s fine. I’m not gonna tell him. I know Kageyama is my best friend, but so are you. I’d never violate your trust like that,” he said, sounding slightly hurt at the idea that you didn’t trust him.

“No, Hinata you’ve really got the wrong idea,” you started again, only for him to laugh and shake his head.

“Everything you just told me perfectly describes Kageyama. I mean, you’re always spending time with him and he’s more passionate about volleyball than anyone I’ve ever met besides myself. And his eyes are pretty, too,” he argued, his lips pressing into a fine line as he finished.

“Hinata, listen to me,” you said, shuffling closer to him to get him to look at you, “I don’t like Kageyama. There’s nothing to be upset over.”

“I’m not upset!” he huffed, hanging his head after you gave him a look before saying, “I’m not! I just... I...”

Seeing him look so sad made you feel so guilty. It had been your idea to bring this topic up in the first place and it had clearly ticked a nerve in him somewhere. You took a deep breath and made the decision to just come clean. Anything to get the sad look off his face.

“I’ll tell you who it is, but you have to promise not to be mad at me,” you said.

He looked back up and you and nodded. It was now or never.

“Close your eyes.”

“What why?”

“Just do it! It’s embarrassing!”

“But-“

“Hinata!”

He grumbled something under his breath before shutting his eyes firmly closed. You did a precautionary wave in front of his face and were satisfied when it got no response. Taking a deep breath you brought yourself even closer to him.

You took a moment to commit him to your memory. Every strand of hair to every freckle that dotted his face. This could be the last time you’d be this close to him ever again and you never wanted to forget it.

“What’s taking so long?” he whined, causing you to jump back slightly at his words.

“Jeez, I’m going! Be patient,” you snapped lightly causing him to huff.

He didn’t say anything more. Getting close to him once more, you forced your heartbeat to calm down. You waved once more just in case before deciding to do it.

“Remember, you promised not to be mad,” you reminded him quietly.

Before he had a chance to respond, you pressed your lips onto his. They were soft and warm against yours and it made you wish you could kiss him longer. It was a short firm kiss, gone just as soon as it had appeared.

Hinata’s eyes shot open as you pulled back, already frantically grabbing your things to book it. He looked like he was short circuiting. His mouth flopped open and his cheeks burned redder than you’d ever seen them before. Your own cheeks felt like they were on fire as you finally turned to give him a nervous smile before running down the path towards your home.

“L-L/N wait!” Hinata called out.

You looked over your shoulder to see him getting up as well, no doubt preparing to run after you. Clearly you hadn’t thought this through. There’s no way that you’d be able to outrun him with all the training he did. You cursed slightly under your breath as you continuing running as fast as you could. Despite giving it your best effort, he was quicker. You heard his steps becoming louder and his desperate calls to get you to stop before he finally grabbed your wrist and yanked you back.

You stumbled slightly, causing him to have to catch you. He wrapped his arms around you as you slammed into him, causing him to squeal as you both went tumbling to the ground. With his arms still wrapped securely around your waist, you fell right on top of him. Lifting your head slightly, you caught Hinata’s pained expression and panicked.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Hinata,” you apologized profusely, scrambling off of him and quickly helping him sit up.

Your embarrassment over kissing him had disappeared completely as the overwhelming urge to take care of him came over you instead. He took the entire force of the fall for you and if the strained expression on his face was anything to go by, he was definitely feeling it.

“I’m ok. Really,” he assured you, stumbling only slightly as he got back on his own two feet.

Wordlessly, he held out a hand to help you up, which you took without thinking about it. Once you were standing you expected him to let go, but his grip remained firm as ever.

You looked down at your feet as your shake started slowly coming back. Your face burned with embarrassment as you shuffled awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. Luckily for you, Hinata broke the silence first.

“L/N,” he said quietly, his voice shaking slightly as if he was nervous.

You slowly raised your head to look at him, your cheeks still a furious red. You expected him to be furious or upset, but instead he had the same nervous yet determined look on his face that he wore before his matches.

Before you could say anything, he brought his free hand up to your face and kissed you. His lips were the same as before, soft and warm, but it was different than the first one. This one was passionate and sloppy and lacked any of the nervous restraint that the first kiss had had. It was long and aching, like you couldn’t get enough of eachother. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead on your own as you both caught your breath.

“It’s you, L/N. You’re the someone special I was describing. I just didn’t think you could ever like me that way,” he said breathlessly.

When you met his eyes, you couldn’t help but laugh. It was free and giddy and it caused Hinata to start laughing too. You took your hand out of his and pulled him into a strong hug. His arms wrapped around your waist and you wrapped your own around his neck.

“It’s always been you. You make me happier than I’ve ever been before. You’re the kindest, most passionate and caring individual I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Ever since the day you laid down in the rain with me I knew you’d be the death of me. I like you, Hinata. Not Kageyama,” you said, hugging him tighter to you, like if you let go he would disappear.

“Shoyo,” he said, causing you to pull back slightly with a questioning look before he explained, “You should call me Shoyo.”

You grinned widely, laughing once again at the amount of joy that coursed through you. You didn’t realize until this moment what pure joy felt like. Never before in your life had you ever felt this happy.

“Alright, Shoyo. I’ll let you call me Y/N on one condition,” you said, smirking slightly.

“Anything,” he replied immediately, making you giggle as a result.

“You have to take me on a date this weekend,” you teased, watching as his smile grew before adding, “Oh, and you have to agree to be my boyfriend.”

Instead of replying, he simply kissed you once more and began jumping around and hollering out of joy. You felt the familiar warm feeling of love stir in your stomach as you watched him celebrate his newly acquired title.

“I’ve got the greatest girlfriend in the world!” he shouted out, causing some of the other passerby’s to turn and look at him.

You were laughing alongside him as you tried to calm him down, but to no avail. He insisted on screaming it out to the world the entire walk home. He held your hand the entire way and made sure that every single person walking by new just how special you were. Normally, it would have embarrassed you. You would have insisted that he shush and act like a normal person. But, seeing how happy he looked and the amount of love in his eyes as he talked about you to random people was enough to convince you to endure it.

Anything for your sunshine boy.

#hinata shoyo x reader #hinata x reader #hinata #shoyo hinata #shoyo hinata x reader #shoyo #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #hinata shoyo

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authenticcadence18 · 3 years

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ok so. I’m gonna talk about a certain non-canon PnF ship I dislike for a bit.

(and by a bit. I mean for far longer than I intended.)

And. Ok. I’m just gonna preface this by saying: I am not seeking to tear down the ship in question. If you ship it, if it makes you happy, I am not trying to step on your toes and make you feel bad at all!!! I’m sure there are plenty of great reasons to ship these two characters, I just don’t agree. And that’s fine!

I simply want to talk through a certain scene in Phineas and Ferb that fans of this ship usually point to as a pivotal moment between the two, point out another scene between a DIFFERENT ship that is often overlooked, and compare the two.

analysis/rant will be below the cut

(this post is about Ferb*lla, btw. in case you hadn’t guessed.)

Ok so. Recently I watched a video where someone talked about shipping Ferb and Isabella and why they did so. (I’ll also say I did NOT seek out a video about this specific ship, it just happened to be a brief topic of discussion in it. And I stopped watching the video after this.). I don’t want to say which video it was because I’m not trying to attack any given person here! But I wanted to give y’all context for why I’m writing this.

Anyway. The infamous “hand-holding” scene from “When Worlds Collide” was used as the main evidence for this ship. The person in the video claimed that “Isabella instinctively grabbed Ferb’s hand” and that they looked at each other and “had a moment” and went on about how they shipped Ferb and Isabella because Phineas was just “so oblivious.”

Now. I understand being frustrated with Phineas’s obliviousness. Been there, done that. And I understand how some would want Isabella to be paired romantically with someone who registers and reciprocates her feelings.

But this take on that scene is just, well, not right. (I suspect the maker of this video had not viewed said scene in quite some time and it was just a vague memory.) In this post, I’m going to go over what actually happens in that scene, compare it to a Phinabella scene with a similar vibe, and then just talk about Phineas’s treatment of Isabella in general and how their dynamic is so much more than “pining girl/oblivious to a fault boy.”

PART 1: “When Worlds Collide”

(you can run! wait...wrong show)

Ok so. In this episode, there is a scene towards the end where Isabella reaches out for Phineas’s hand but ends up grabbing Ferb’s instead. Ferb pats her hand and assures her that everything will be alright, and Isabella immediately pulls her hand back and curiously glances over at an aloof Phineas.

In the video in question, the speaker claimed that Isabella “instinctively” reached out for Ferb.

But that’s not what happened.

Isabella deliberately reached out for Phineas’s hand. You can tell by the way the shot prior to the handholding bit is staged.

Phineas is clearly on Isabella’s left while Ferb is on her right. (From our perspective as audience members.)

In the very next shot, Isabella smiles and reaches out to the left, where Phineas should be

In any world other than that of a cartoon, she’d have grabbed Phineas’s hand. But because of cartoon shenanigans, Ferb is inexplicably standing directly to her left in the next shot, so she grabs his hand instead.

As SOON as Isabella realizes she’s holding Ferb’s hand and not Phineas’s, her smile disappears and she pulls her hand away before glancing over at Phineas, confused.

CLEARLY this scene is just a gag. Isabella wants to hold Phineas’s hand, but whoops! she holds Ferb’s instead. Phineas being oblivious isn’t even a part of the joke, it’s just 100% the universe being against Isabella 🙃. And Isabella shows no romantic affection towards Ferb whatsoever in this scene.

Now, one could say Ferb’s reaction to Isabella holding his hand indicates at least a one-sided crush on his part. But I disagree. From Ferb’s perspective, Isabella grabbed his hand because she was worried, and he reassured her like any good friend would do before returning to his former position once Isabella pulled her hand away. He wasn’t offended by her pulling her hand away, and he didn’t make a lovestruck/disappointed face when she pulled away.

And Ferb also misread her gesture. Because Isabella wasn’t worried. She was awestruck, amazed, and wanted to share the moment with the boy she has feelings for. I suspect if she’d grabbed Phineas’s hand, he wouldn’t have misread her gesture.

(Well. Ok. He WOULD have misread it but in a different way. Isabella and Phineas hold hands a lot in the show, so it wouldn’t have been unusual to him. In his mind, Isabella’s his best friend and sometimes they hold hands! I suspect he might have glanced at her for a moment before returning his gaze to the sky, smile never faltering, because who better to share such a special moment with than his best friend?)

I also personally like to think of Ferb and Isabella as having a sibling-like relationship. Ferb teases her about her crush on Phineas AND acts as her wingman on multiple occasions, which are 100% things a sibling would do. And they genuinely are friends! I love their friendship. And so that’s how I characterize this scene, as Isabella being confused and Ferb just trying to be a good friend. It’s not romantic: it’s first and foremost a joke. And on a deeper level, it’s a moment of Ferb expressing platonic affection towards a close friend.

Part 2: “The Klimpaloon Ultimatum”

This episode came out a little less than two years after “When Worlds Collide,” when Phineas and Ferb was a bit on the decline in terms of popularity. Neither episode is a mainstream one, but this one is definitely the less well-known of the two.

This is a shame. Because it’s a fantastic episode. AND because it contains one of my favorite Phinabella moments.

Just to set up the scene: the kiddos have been captured and learn of Mittington Random’s nefarious deeds. He’s been conducting inhumane experiments and trying to create “living” swimwear with no success and plans to take Klimpaloon--the magical old timey bathing suit that lives in the Himalayas himself--apart to do so. Isabella expresses distress at his evildoings before they even come across Klimpaloon, and when they DO come across Klimpaloon and learn the extent of Random’s plan, Phineas is right there....

and they REACH OUT FOR EACH OTHER. INSTINCTIVELY. LOOK AT THIS.

They don’t even have to LOOK at one another. Phineas can just SENSE Isabella’s distress, and Isabella reaches out for him to comfort her without even thinking about it and he DOES.

I mean!! LOOK AT THEM. This is Isabella realizing what’s happened! She didn’t reach out for Phineas intentionally, it just happened!! They were totally in sync!

and LOOK HOW CONTENT SHE IS NOW. even amidst the horror of the villain’s plan, just being close to Phineas comforts her. Or at least momentarily cheers her up. (And ok I know this moment is also primarily a gag but IT’S IN ISABELLA’S FAVOR THIS TIME. Instead of leaving her confused and without Phineas, it leaves her with a dreamy grin on her face and in his arms. Bless Season 4.)

And AND. The next shot is of Random speaking for a few seconds, and then we get a shot of all the characters...

AND ISABELLA AND PHINEAS ARE STILL HOLDING ONE ANOTHER. Although it looks like they’ve gone from hugging to just holding hands, which means even if they didn’t want to keep hugging they DID WANT TO KEEP HOLDING ONE ANOTHER I JUST AHHHH.

So. Let’s review.

In the first scene, Isabella accidentally holds Ferb’s hand. She doesn’t need to be comforted, she just wants to share a moment with Phineas and is confused when she realizes she isn’t holding his hand. Ferb comforts her because he’s being a good friend and thinks she is concerned. He misreads her needs. So like, he means well, he’s her friend! But it’s not romantic. And they hardly hold hands at all. (And, come on, this scene is mostly meant to be a gag.)

In the second scene, Isabella is definitely distressed, and without a word (or even having to make eye contact), she and Phineas reach out to hold one another without thinking about it. Somehow, Phineas knows Isabella needs to be comforted and Isabella knows Phineas will be there for her. And they STAY HOLDING HANDS into the next shot.

Isabella does not instinctively reach out for Ferb’s hand in the first clip.

Isabella and Phineas instinctively reach out for one another in the second.

Need I say more?

Part 3: In Defense of Phineas and the Phinabella Dynamic

So. Yes. Phineas is oblivious to Isabella’s romantic feelings for him. Painfully, painfully oblivious to them. (And he’s painfully oblivious to his own feelings for her because COME ON. “Night of the Living Pharmacists” alone proves he almost certainly had feelings for her when they were kids, he just had no idea.)

But. He can’t be blamed for this. He is a CHILD, for goodness sake. When I was younger his obliviousness definitely got on my nerves, but like....he IS just a kid. He was never obligated to return Isabella’s feelings (...that should sound familiar to some of y’all). Phineas just wasn’t thinking about romance relating to himself when he was younger. He was oblivious to it, and that’s okay.

And you know what he’s not oblivious to in the show proper? How much he cares for Isabella as his friend.

Phineas LOVES being Isabella’s friend. Like. She’s his best friend. (Vincent Martella himself said so!!)

He goes out of his way to help her earn patches and overcome other problems (like an incurable case of the hiccups!).

He consistently compliments her athleticism and skills and cuteness (in his own unique way, of course😂).

Although he expresses distress when Baljeet expects him to go a day without inventing in “Bully Bromance Breakup,” he is more than happy to spend the day alone with Isabella and suggests having a regular ol’ picnic when she mentions being hungry in “It’s No Picnic.” AND he is excited to take that picnic and make it even better for Isabella once Ferb returns (because Phineas probably thinks Isabella would rather have a big picnic as opposed to a small one! He’s doing that for himself but also for her!).

He partners up with her for inventions over Ferb sometimes and is willing to put big ideas for the day on hold if she can’t participate.

He planned surprise after surprise for her birthday (and presumably for her birthdays before that!) and felt the need to “make it up to her” when the final surprise didn’t go as planned.

He was DEVASTATED when separated from her in “Night of the Living Pharmacists” and claimed he’d “never forgive himself” if she was infected, and once being reunited with her, he didn’t leave her side and held her hand and made sure she was alright. And he SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR HER IN THE END. Like. At that point Phineas could’ve let Isabella get infected and stopped the invasion himself. BUT HE DIDN’T. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR HER. He both cared enough to give himself up and TRUSTED her to save him. LIKE. LIKE.

Come on. Maybe Phineas doesn’t know Isabella has a crush on him in the show proper. But GOSH. He cares so, so, SO much about her.

To claim Ferb is a better match for Isabella simply because he’s more aware of romance in general is just a disservice to the close friendship she and Phineas share.

Did Isabella deserve better during the show? I mean. Yeah. (I wrote a whole fic because of that, lol.) But it isn’t really Phineas’s fault that he never found out about her feelings. So many times, Isabella’s plans to confess or spend time with Phineas were ruined by circumstances totally out of her control (aka: the b-plot’s inator of the day. aka: the writers maintaining the status quo.) If it weren’t for Doofenshmirtz, Isabella would’ve confessed to him in the main summer the show takes place in.

And you’ll notice! Even in episodes where Isabella is frustrated with Phineas’s obliviousness, their friendship remains in tact. Isabella is TICKED at Phineas during the “do I know romance or what?” scene in “That Sinking Feeling.” But then in the next scene they’re both in, Isabella is at Phineas’s side and smiling! His obliviousness hurts her sometimes, but it doesn’t outweigh the friendship and sweet moments they share. It doesn’t define their dynamic.

Phineas is oblivious. But he still loves Isabella in his own unique way. And Isabella loves him and loves being his friend even though he’s oblivious.

(And also FERB SHIPS PHINABELLA. He steps away to let them spend time together, he sends them off to get ice cream together at the end of “Happy Birthday Isabella”. He 100% supports Isabella and Phineas and wants them to be together. And there’s no jealousy there either! He’s just supportive and awesome and I LOVE FERB OKAY.)

So. In Conclusion.

If you ship Ferb and Isabella. That’s great! I do not want to step on your toes, and I’m sure you’ve got your own reasons for doing so. I know firsthand just how wonderful a favorite ship can make one feel, so I’d never want to take that from anyone.

But just. Please. PLEAAASE. Please don’t belittle Phineas in shipping them. And don’t disregard the moments he and Isabella share.

Phineas cares for Isabella. So very much. In his own unique, wonderful way. And there is so much more to meaningful relationships than romance.

Thank you.

#this post took forever #i hope yall like it #and ALSO I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY SHIP BASHING IN REPLIES #do not bash phinabella #do not bash ferb*lla #(idk if i need to censor that or not...don't want this post to show up in that tag)#i tried to approach this from an analytical perspective #(and i mean yes. perhaps i'm a tad biased.)#(but i care about these characters a lot. i've spent over 50000 words with them in one fic alone after all...lol)#i uhhhh don't know what to tag this so uhhhhh #maybe i'll just do #cadence writes #(because this took forever to write so it's going in that tag)#pnf salt #(sort of but not really)#pnf #cadence rambles #i'll probably reblog this tomorrow for the morning crowd #but i've spent so long on it i just want to put it out into the world #and again! if you ship Ferb and Isabella i am not judging you! you are not wrong!!! there's nothing morally wrong with that ship so like #ship away!#it just hurts my heart to see people make light of just how much phineas does for isabella in the show #so i had to write this #because i love phineas #and i love phinabella #ok i'm just gonna post this now #phinabella #phineas and ferb #phinbella

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b0oker18 · 3 years

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On the anniversary of ‘My Struggle IV’ I have many thoughts:

I became a fan of The X Files in 2008 when I saw ‘I want to believe’ on DVD. When I watched it I fell in love with Mulder and Scully and the strange universe that they lived in. Long story short over the next few months I watched every episode, then I watched them again and then again (and then again). Not only did I fall in love with M and S but I fell in love with the Mythology, the MOTW, and the themes of science and religion. I’m such a big fan I even (sort of) defend seasons 8 and 9 (I am very much aware of all the problems with both seasons ok lol).

I was so enthralled with this journey that these two lovely people had together! And you know what? I was somewhat happy to leave them and never see them again after ‘I want to believe’ While we didn’t get all the answers like colonization, William, etc. I was ok with that! I even had my own elaborate head canon of what happened after ‘I want to believe’. Basically it involved Gibson getting into contact with M and S to tell them that the colonists had left Earth because William was normal now (so colonization would never happen) and it also involved Mulder writing a series of memoirs that gave him a renewed sense of purpose in life, but maybe I’ll get into it another time cuz it’s a lot lol.

Anyway, one day in 2015 (I think) season 10 was officially announced and I was very happy! I thought finally we were getting closure! Then the Mulder and Scully breakup rumors came out and I knew we were in trouble, but I still wanted to give it a chance. Then Chris Carter called the “revival” series a “reimagining” and again I thought we were in trouble, but I still wanted to give it a chance.

I remember the night ‘My Struggle I’ aired. The Files fandom was SO excited and so was I. I remember loving it! Sure the entire mythology was flushed down the toilet and sure Mulder and Scully were broken up and none of things made any sense, but we got 5 more episodes! The mythology will go somewhere and Mulder and Scully will get back together. None of things happened and I felt horrible! Season 10 is the worst season of The X Files in my opinion. But I didn’t think the show would come back and somehow it was easy for me to ignore and I did for a while.

A year or so later Season 11 was announced and again the hype got to me! Finally we will get the answers to the shows original mythology and finally Mulder and Scully will get back together (noticing a theme here). Then ‘My Struggle III’ aired and it sucked! Haha. But then ‘This’ aired and OMG Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are back together as a romantic couple again! Hooray!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🎉Nope! they weren’t. 😞But that’s ok cuz next week Mulder and Scully will have sex, twice! Then the episode aired and while the episode was somewhat entertaining, it had what I feel is the single worst Mulder and Scully scene in the history of the show. Im sorry but that bed scene was horrendous! It was like two high schoolers talking about if they would still love each other after graduating. These two characters have WAY to much personal history to have any conversation even remotely like that. But they had sex twice and you know HYYYYPPPEEE ZOMGS they did it.... twice!! 😱😱😱.

‘Ghoulie’ was good but William is like a shape shifting monster now or something??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But dear god the acting of Gillian Anderson was TOP notch! So you know MORE HYYYPPPE!!!

‘Nothing Lasts Forever’ was kinda boring but that ending!!!! They are back together!!!! They are talking about their regrets and letting them go!!!!! YAY!!!! HYYYYPPPEEE level over 9000!! But that shit should’ve happened WAY sooner. And is as fans deserve to know what Scully whispered.

Then we get to ‘My Stuggle IV’. We got car chases! We got Mulder shooting like 20 people! We got Scully doing.... stuff! We got Chris Carter doubling down on William not being the true son of Mulder! But who cares SCULLY IS PREGGOOOSSSSS!!!😱😱😱😱. Greatest series finale EVERRRRR.!!! I got the Mulder and Scully happy ending I have always wanted y’all! Ty Chris Carter!!! 🥳🥳🎉🎉🥳

Yeah, I thought that way for months. Then I walked away from the show for a year or so and I honestly didn’t think much of it! Then the “revival” came back into my conscience. My “revival” HHYYPPEE brain had left me. I started objectively thinking about the revival. Literally nothing made any sense. Mulder and Scully are back in the FBI in there 50’s? With no training? As Mulder is clinically depressed?? Mulder just believes some random person that alien colonization is all bull shit and it was all evil white dudes? This man has been lied to his entire life yet he just believes? That ain’t my Mulder. Where was all that character development from the original series? It certainly wasn’t in Chris Carter’s show bible (I think only a few people will understand that joke lol).

I don’t want to make this post much longer so what I’m trying to get at is the revival as a whole was noting more than a soft reboot. That REALLY bothered me for months when I came back to this show. It’s so goddamn disrespectful to the original fandom. There are still so many fans that care about the original mythology and Mulder and Scully, we wanted to see both progress into new and interesting ways. Instead it’s all burnt down to the ground. Sure Mulder and Scully are cute in the revival series, but what’s it really worth when they aren’t truly together. I get the show needs angst, but at what cost? Breaking them up is the easy way out. That shit hurt me. Same with the mythology, Carter just deletes all of it so he can tell a story that would connect to a new audience. Instead it pissed off just about everyone.

I’ll never, ever begrudge any fan for loving the revival. Actually I’m a little envious, but now that I look at it objectively I just can not reconcile the new Mulder and Scully we got and the new mythology that were being told. So for me the “true” X Files ended after ‘I want to Believe’. Mulder is writing his books, finding his new purpose in life. Scully is still working as a doctor helping children get better. Colonization will never happen and William will have a happy life with his loving adoptive parents. Sure maybe the rest of Mulder and Scullys life may be rather dull. But in my heart of hearts it’s what I believed they longed for, it’s what I longed for after I first saw ‘I Want to Believe’. So I’ll give it to them, they deserve it. I’ll love this show forever. 💜

#the x files #msr #mulder and scully #dana scully #fox mulder #mulder #scully #the x files season 10 #the x files season 11 #my stuggle iv #thanks for reading #I need to learn how to edit #I think this may be the last time I talk ever talk about the revival at length like this #writing this down has made me feel pretty damn good #I love this show forever

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doctorbeth · 5 years

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Puffy aka Puff aka Puffaluffagus aka Puffball

Puffy is a puffalump and puffalump surgeries are always complicated. You see, puffalumps are made from a very thin fabric which I can’t source today, and they were stuffed very lightly (but puffily). And their fabric has LOTS of gathers. So their stuffing compresses leaving folds in their fabric and those eventually tear. Repairing most puffalumps means lining them, then stitching all those tears shut to the new lining. That means lots of new scars (seams) but their people are happy because they want to keep the original skin exposed. But sometimes, puffalumps have been repaired at home over the years, so the original fabric isn’t as big a concern as keeping the puffalump stable. And in that case, we can recover them like a furrier patient. That was the story with Bei, and elephant who came to the hospital a couple months ago, and it was also the story of Puffy, whose story I’m sharing here today. :-)

Puffy’s person wrote:

I would like to introduce you to my very best friend in the whole world, Puffy (aka Puff, Puffaluffagus, Puffball) the Puffalump

I know you probably hear a lot of this, but Puffy has been my best bud for the past 25 years. He's been through childhood bad dreams, a move across the country (from California to Michigan!), breakups, anxiety attacks, and everything in between. We're pretty tight.

But over the course of the past two decades, my sweet Puff has been loved on to death..and he's definitely looking worse for wear. In the past, I've sent him off to my grandma and a friend's mom for repairs, but I feel like now he needs the loving, expert touch of a doctor. I am definitely super nervous about sending Puffy for some help, but I want to make sure he's going to be good to go for the next 25 years .

I'm sending along some pictures of Puff for you to take a look at to see if he's able to be repaired. I really really hope so! I know he's really not in the best of shape, so I might be hoping for something that's not possible. I would love your professional opinion though!

Thank you for all that you do, Realms of Gold! I am so looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Here are the diagnosis photos Puffy’s person sent:

Actually, not too bad... though quite faded. I gave her three treatment options:

1) stitching wounds with supplemental fabric

2) lining and then stitching wounds shut to lining

3) recovering (keeping original skin underneath and original eyes visible)

After taking time to think about it, Puffy’s person opted for recovering. She wanted him to last another 25 years and the issue with lining or patching is that all the original skin is still exposed and susceptible to wear. If he were going to watch the world, that would be ok, but Puffy had a more active lifestyle.

Puffy arrived at the hospital in May and we started the process of choosing fabrics for his new skin. There were shiny ones:

and less shiny:

It turns out Puffy was pink, pink and white striped, white, and blue! Here is a photo of Puffy Jr (his little brother) that was sent as a sample (Puffy never had the bow though):

A bit faded, but MUCH healthier!

Eventually, we settled on a matte fabric for Puffy, in two shades of pink (we couldn’t match the striped fabric), white and blue. Surgery commenced and after a bit, first photos were sent:

We agreed to leave his original collar and bow, as they aren’t structural and kept part of his history there. Those are his original eyes transplanted onto the new skin. A bit more adjusting (to make his ears flop and his chubbiness right) and he was ready to fly home!

His person was so excited:

Oh.

My.

Goodness.

I am almost in tears, he looks SO good!! He looks the perfect amount of fluffy, with the perfect color fabric...ugh. I cannot get over it

Beth, he looks so wonderful, you are a miracle worker!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

So I packed him up to fly home to Michigan. He made it in time to celebrate the fourth on the lake with his family:

His person wrote:

He's home! He's home! And he's beautiful and wonderful and perfect in every way. I'm in love. I never thought that Puffy would look so good ever again, I am overjoyed. I cannot thank you enough for taking my friend and making him whole again.

Here’s hoping all of you and your stuffed companions had as joyful and love filled a fourth of July!

#stuffed animal hospital #stuffed animal repair #teddy bear hospital #puffalump #puffalump repair

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totaldramafan-lauri · 3 years

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Eurovision 2021 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

DONE.

I really cut it close this time, but I got a couple days to relax until the contest! >.<

God, I missed Eurovision so much that I think I rambled a bit too hard....XD So, if you don’t have the patience to read all of this, I don’t blame you! I mainly just make these for fun, heh....But if you do read this, PLEASE be warned that I have some very unpopular opinions this year. It’s not as bad as some other years, but there’s a few things in here that will probably confuse people. I’m not trying to piss anyone off, I’m just sharing what I think of the songs and that’s all. I can’t even vote, so.....yeah!

Also, uh....be warned for excessive gushing, because I like the VAST majority of songs this year. There are only two that I’m indifferent to, and none that I outright dislike. And even the two songs I’m indifferent to, I managed to say some good things about, so I don’t outright bash any of the songs! I’m not a critic, I’m just a big Eurovision fan being happy talking about Eurovision.

Ummmm, anything else, hmmmm.....well, the rehearsals have been done, but I don’t watch those cuz I like going in blind. I like being surprised. So, I have no idea how any of the songs will be staged, keep that in mind.

Now, I think I said everything! Into the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Karma Country: Albania Thoughts: We start our list off with a song that...I wish I liked more! This song is pretty good - I like the music (though the instrumental breaks are pretty busy, with a lot of noise at once) and the vocals are excellent, but...it's a pretty standard Albanian entry in that it lacks that extra wow factor for me. In fact, when I say "standard", I mean that when I haven't heard it in a few days and I try to get in into my head, I'll sometimes confuse it with "Ktheju tokës" (their 2019 entry). And I know that isn't fair to it, but the fact that I can't make it stick in my mind really says a lot to how little of an impact it made on me in the long run. "Ktheju tokës" WAS good, and this song is good, but man do Albania really have trouble standing out in this contest (with the one HUGE exception, of course <3) Prediction: I don't think this will qualify for the final, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was proven wrong. Albania have surprised me multiple times in recent years. I kinda don't wanna be surprised this time, since it could be at the cost of a song I like more (and yeah, it probably will be), but I still wouldn't rule it out. This song does have a chance. But for now, I'll say no, it won't qualify.

Song: Technicolour Country: Australia Thoughts: Time to take off your clothes- wait, that's not it? It's "cloaks"? OK then, if you say so...Not only is this a very cool and unique song, but it's also pretty catchy! It's kinda hard to put into words how I feel about this song. When I first heard it, I liked it OK but I also feared that it would grate on me after a bit, but thankfully, it didn't! In fact, this song grew on me, just the opposite of what I thought. I enjoy this song quite a bit now! The singer's voice is really good. She has impressive range. And there's nothing else this year that sounds like this. So, while I don't love it, I definitely like and respect it! It's an impressive entry from Australia, and I'm sad that they have to preform remotely. I hope that doesn't hurt them too much... Prediction: Oh, I wanna say they'll qualify so bad, cuz they deserve to! And even when their entries don't get love from the televote, they still get carried to the final by the juries, so....I think they might! C'mon, it's a good song and it deserves to do well! I don't even love it that much and I can still see the talent and appeal of this song, so yeah, I'm gonna say it'll qualify! The betters are underselling this! Might not do that well in the final, but eh, at least it'll be there.

Song: Amen Country: Austria Thoughts: And here we come to one of the weirder things this year: like 2015, there are two songs with the same name, leading to some confusion. I'll get to Slovenia's "Amen" way later, but for now all I'll say is that that's the one I think about more BY FAR. To the point where poor Austria here gets completely overshadowed by it. XD And that's really unfortunate, because this song is pretty good! It's very emotional, even moreso when you read that it's based on the deaths of the singer's daughter and aunt. It definitely hit me harder after I realized that it wasn't just a breakup song...and actually about death...The lyrics are also very good, especially the repeating of "Tell me, is this what you wanted?" which is a line that kinda hit me even on first listen? It just sounds so...sad, yet angry, especially with how he sings it...Though I will say that the opening lyric simply being "Amen, I guess" could be easily made fun of...but I'm not gonna do it. Not to this song. Even though it's far from one of my favorites, (and in terms of sad family songs doesn't come close to "You Let Me Walk Alone" levels), it's a good song. Prediction: I don't think Austria really have that much of a chance....but that doesn't mean they're doomed. They could touch hearts with this song, or they could be overlooked, could go either way. I personally think, um.....they won't qualify. Just cuz of the competition.

Song: Mata Hari Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: Should I be annoyed at how blatantly Azerbaijan recycled their 2020 song? XD Well, I'm not! If anything, I find it funny that they included the line "Just like Cleopatra", which I took as full-on self awareness.....And I also don't mind because the song is awesome, so yeah. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this stuff! I don't care how many times the song's name is yelled, it still sounds soooooo good! The instrumentals are amazing! The one before the end is easily the best part of the song. Y'know, where she just says "Let's go" and then the beat goes crazy? Perfect. This is a very solid borderline favorite for me. My only real gripe is that...uh, it's "goddess", not "godless"...I can clearly hear her pronounce an L and it bugs me. XD Prediction: In true Azerbaijan fashion, I think this'll be an easy qualifier. It's not a front-runner, but it's a very memorable song and there isn't really anything else like it in the first semifinal (maybe Israel if you squint? But that's a stretch) In the final, hmmmm....maybe it'll place in the middle somewhere? I don't think it'll do as good as "Truth" at least. That's my prediction.

Song: The Wrong Place Country: Belgium Thoughts: Not only is this a grower, but it's also the biggest grower of the bunch for me. Every year, there's that one song that I start out mostly indifferent to, that I do NOT expect to like as much as I end up liking it. The "O Jardim", the "Roi". This year, it's this one. It took me a few listens, but now I really like this song. I can't even explain why, it's just....cool! I like the dark, somber atmosphere of this song, and how it doesn't cross over into overly moody. It's just cool. And I like the lyrics, too. They flow really well, and I like how much detail there is. The whole thing just works so well....well, except for the line about the Johnny Cash t-shirt. That's just baffling. And that's the lyric they end the song with...but other than that, it's a great song that tells a story, with the atmosphere to match, and I really like it. Prediction: The only reason I'm not saying this is an easy qualifier is that the first semifinal is gonna be a bloodbath. XD I just went down the list, counting all the fan-favorites that would normally be shoo-ins, and I counted ELEVEN songs. There's GONNA be outrage that day, I just know it. Personally, I think Belgium could still do it, but it'll be really tough. I want them in the final, but my opinion doesn't matter here. Them making it will probably take a lot of effort, honestly, and...it could go either way. If I had to give an answer to what I think will happen, I'd say that they'll barely not qualify. But I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong! (As long as that doesn't mean losing Croatia in the process)

Song: Growing Up Is Getting Old Country: Bulgaria Thoughts: This one's....difficult. Not the MOST difficult song to rank (that's Cyprus), but man, it took me a while to figure out what I felt about it. In the end, I've decided that I...kinda like it. I'm putting it right at the bottom of the "like" category. Now, I know that a lot of people love this song, so just let me explain: I don't normally enjoy this kind of vocal. I didn't care for "Sebi" two years ago cuz it bored me, for example. This song at least builds a little bit, but it's not that exciting. Musically, this song doesn't do much for me, and that's why I'm ranking it so low. BUT....I love the lyrics. This is such a relatable song. Growing up does indeed get very, very, VERY old, and I worry about it all the flipping time. I do wish I could run from those worries. I like the reference to anxiety. I like lines like "Playing Tetris with my feelings, tryin' to keep them all inside". I like the switch to “Getting up is growing old”. It's really clever. Not to mention, her lethargic vocals actually FIT this subject. She's tired. So, I do appreciate this song for, well....speaking to me, even if I don't love it like so many others do. Prediction: Will definitely qualify without much issue. I can also see it doing pretty well in the final, like....Bulgaria have been in the top five twice in recent years, so this could possibly put them back up there? I personally don't think this song should be that high, but hey, this isn't about my feelings, this is my prediction. Uhhhh.....top ten.

Song: Tick-Tock Country: Croatia Thoughts: The first of my top seven favorites! Ohhhhh MAN did this song blindside me! When I first heard it, I remember the chorus letting me down! It was mostly due to not being what I expected from the pre-chorus, I guess I expected the music to burst with emotion or at least be louder.....but after only two or three listens, it grew on me completely, and I found myself trying to learn the lyrics and sing along. This is NOT another "Icebreaker", that’s for sure. I love the whole thing as it is and I wouldn't change a thing about it. This song is so! Darn! CATCHY! That chorus is incredibly infectious! Man, that beat is so flipping good! And when it switches to Croatian for a chorus, mmmmm good stuff! As someone who actually really enjoyed "Crazy", I still say this is Croatia's most solid entry since.....geez, 2010? Hope this one is more, um, successful than that one ended up being... Prediction: Oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo~....I really hope this doesn't end up underrated like Croatia's entries tend to be, but something tells me that I shouldn't be....TOO worried? ....OK, I'm still worried. XD The first semifinal is LOADED with awesome songs, so unless the staging for this is really really cool, it MIGHT struggle to stand out? Keyword being "might", cuz this is still a very good song....Maybe just being a good song will be enough! Of my two favorites in that semifinal, I'm more worried about Slovenia than Croatia, honestly. At least Croatia have an upbeat song. I'll try to be optimistic, and predict that it'll qualify. A lot of people seem to like it, so why not? However, if it doesn't qualify, I won't be too shocked....There's a lot of fan-favorites it's gonna have to compete with to get through. XD If it does make it, then I can't see it doing THAT badly in the final...

Song: El Diablo Country: Cyprus Thoughts: Hoo boy, here we go....So, this is easily the hardest song for me to rank. I'm sure that after I post this, I'll already be second-guessing my placement for it. But for now, here it goes......I love the chorus to this song just so much! It's SUCH a good thing to belt to, and I wish I could. I even love the "OooooooOOOOOOOOHHH~" after it! She has a GOOD singing voice! ...Too bad she barely uses it. Yeeaaaahhh, I'm...not very crazy about the rest of the song. The speak-singing verses, I got used to after a while, but they're still just ehhh. And the pre-chorus where she's just panting in the back with no other music? The bridge, where there's that stupid "I love El Diablo" chant that sounds like a playground taunt? Annoying. It feels like she's trying WAY too hard to be Lady Gaga, complete with throwing in words to another language for no reason other than to sound ~spicy~. As a fan of Lady Gaga, I'm sorry, but you're not doing a very good job! As I've said before, it's hard to come up with a concrete answer for how I feel about this song, because it has stuff I like AND stuff I don't like! And not only that...it's a BIG divide between the two. I don't just like the chorus, I LOVE the chorus. It's a SHORT chorus, but I love it! There are times I enjoy the song despite my complaints with it....but there are other days where I don't have enough patience to deal with stupid panting and "I lOvE eL dIaBlO", so really, I'm super torn here. I know this song's very popular, and I can see the appeal, I just wish I liked it more (especially since I've really liked the last few entries from Cyprus). Prediction: This song's currently in the top ten in the betting odds, so I think it might do a lot better than I expect. I personally don't think it's a top ten song, but it'll at least qualify for the final. And maybe do pretty well. Left side of the scoreboard, maybe? Cyprus are NOT an underrated country anymore, and the song's got a lot of energy, and it's definitely memorable, I'll give it that.

Song: omaga Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Another song that has me conflicted, but not nearly as much as Cyprus'. My opinion on this one is a lot more simple: love the music, kinda iffy about the lyrics. This feels like it's sung by the kinda person that Destiny from Malta warns the ladies to stay away from. "You say you're still mad about the things that I did, but I don't know what I did". "Why don't you come over and have it? Why don't you let me have it?" I'm not the only one who thinks he's being really pushy, am I? I do think this song's just meant to be playful, but, uh....it doesn't come off that way to me. I mean, I guess I like the rhyming of "apocalypse" with "on my lips", that's pretty clever and I've never heard it before? But...overall, the lyrics honestly kinda creep me out. It reminds me of someone who just will not take no for an answer even when it's obvious that his presence isn't wanted because he thinks that she's just "playing hard to get". And she's not playing hard to get! He outright says that he did something to piss her off! Dude, leave her alone! Even if you're playing dumb saying you "don't know" what you did, that's not a reason to keep pestering her! ....But, *sigh* I can't be too mad at the song. When you get down to it, the most important thing in a song (especially in Eurovision) is the music, not the lyrics, and...this song sounds fantastic. It's really catchy, with a nice fun party vibe. I do enjoy listening to this when I don't think about it too hard. It's probably the most fun I've had listening to a Czech entry, so I still like it for that. This isn't a song worth being mad over. (Except the title. That title is so flipping stupid. Just say "oh my god", it's not hard. But that's a nitpick, pffff) Prediction: I kinda don't want this song to qualify since there are others in the second semifinal that I'd prefer to make it instead. Despite liking it, this is still one of my more least-favorites in that semi. XD But I still say this has a fair shot of qualifying, despite being performed early. But with the competition in the party song department by Serbia, Moldova, and San Marino, and their fairly low amount of fan attention, I'm gonna say no for this one. But I won't hate it if it qualified (as long as it doesn't push out Greece or Finland, which I don't think it will).

Song: Øve Os På Hinanden Country: Denmark Thoughts: Heck YEAH to Denmark sending a song in Danish! It's great to hear uncommon languages in Eurovision from countries that normally send songs in English! And dare I say that that's not my favorite thing about this song? Because this is another of my favorites! This song's been getting a flack for being "dated", and....yeah, maybe it is, but so what? I never claimed to have perfect taste, and I LOVE this kinda thing! 80s music is back, I say! Gosh, this song is so HAPPY! Well, uh, I can't even understand it, but it feels happy. And the instrumentation is so flipping good! The horns, the strings, UGH! I can't not smile while listening to this. If you don't like this song, that's fine, it's not for everyone...but I really appreciate Denmark for trying something different this year, especially since it turned into something that's completely to my tastes. Prediction: Yeah, uh...the odds don't look good for Denmark. Performing last, after so many people have made up their minds? With a song that's already not popular at all? Yeah....if they DO manage to qualify, I'll be VERY happy, but I don't think it's gonna happen...Man, most of my favorites are in danger this year...Eh, I'm used to it. But I'll say that they COULD possibly do it, due to nothing else sounding like them!

Song: The Lucky One Country: Estonia Thoughts: Oh look, another one of my favorites! Wow, what an emotional gut-punch this song is....these lyrics are seriously SO good. "Why'd you have to go and mess it up? Why'd you have to make what was unbreakable / Shakeable, unsaveable" "For a little while, the fates were with us / Wonder why they had to turn against us? / I could make a wish, but there is no use" "Thought I had a cloud over my head / It had to be my fault that it kept raining down, until, now, I figured out / That if I had the nerve to say goodbye, I could look for clearer skies up overhead" I....think that's enough, but holy crap, this song's mix of heartbreak and optimism is just PERFECT. "You broke my heart, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'm the lucky one because you're awful and I don't have to put up with it anymore." It's emotional, it's bittersweet, it's powerful...and it SOUNDS powerful too! Those quiet verses bursting into that chorus is great! This song is so flipping good! Why is it so underrated!? ...Oh yeah, cuz people who want emotion are to distracted by Switzerland's entry, I guess...or maybe it's just me, but eh. While I don't love it quite as much as my top three, this is a very solid fourth placer for me. Prediction: This song isn't qualifying, and I've accepted it. It's gotten very little attention (the music video is one of the ones under 1 million views), it was dead last in the betting odds last time I checked, and to top it off, it's being performed second in its semifinal, which won't do it any favors. I really do wish it could surprise me, but I don't think it will. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Song: Dark Side Country: Finland Thoughts: OH HECK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Finland once again appealing to my tastes! OH MY GOD do I love this song! People have been heaping praise on this song left and right, so I can't say anything that hasn't already been said....but I'll praise it anyway! This song is so flipping intense! It manages to be dark while pumping me up for action, and being the best song at doing that this year. There's not much to say about the lyrics because I BARELY pay attention to them while listening (which is pretty much the only reason this isn't my number one), my brain just turns off all analytical thinking in favor of "HOO HOO HOO HOO EVERY PSYCHO IN THE SCENE HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME" without caring about the actual words. I just love the music and vibe so much that it pulls me in so well! It goes so hard! That great hook that starts the song off also gives the song something catchy about it, too! Also points for including the line "We don't wanna grow up", that's great too. This is a song that you put on just to pump yourself up and feel awesome. The lyrics are pretty messed up, which makes me not wanna sing them out loud, but that barely counts as a point against it. It fits with the song's tone, and just....man, I remember how blindsided I was when I first heard it. That was my first clue that this would be something special. I'm also really happy that this song is getting attention because boy is that not true for a lot of my other favorites. XD Prediction: Despite Finland being one of the most underrated countries in the contest's history, with consistently poor results despite sending good song after good song...This one got popular, and most of the attention has been positive, to the point of it being just outside the top ten in the betting odds last I checked! So, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic here and predict that they'll qualify without much issue. They're one out of only two of my favorites (the other being Greece) that I feel like I don't have to worry about. The song does a good job of standing out, which should help it a lot. As for how it'd do in the final...well, I want it to be in the top 10, but after whatever the frick happened with "Monsters" I'm convinced that Finland HAVE to end up underrated in some way...The only thing I can really say is that it'll probably give them their best result in years (since coming 11th that one time in 2014)? But that's all I can really say.

Song: Voilà Country: France Thoughts: If I can sum up my feelings about this one in one sentence it'd be....this is the new "City Lights" for me. Y'know, the Belgian entry in 2017? Got wildly popular, but I never fully understand why? Just found it kinda boring, and was indifferent to it? Yeah, copy and paste that here. In a year occupied by some really fun, happy pop songs, some really powerful ballads, and even a couple hardcore rock songs...a song like this is one of the favorites to win. And I'm sorry, but I don't...get it? Am I stupid? (Well, you'll probably think I'm stupid once we get to my number one but-) Why are people going nuts over this? This is one of the more boring songs of the year if you ask me! But that's being too harsh, cuz I CAN see that there's talent here. The vocals are nice, and I do give it points for growing on me at least a little. At the start, this was my least-favorite, but it's not anymore. I at least appreciate it for building at lot. I almost feel myself come close to liking it toward the end, when it's at its fastest. But that still isn't enough for me to see it as the potential winner that so many people see it as. If you like it, that's great! But even though I see the talent here, I can't jump on the bandwagon. I don't dislike it in the slightest, though. I will say that I'll take another "City Lights" over another "Amar Pelos Dois" any day of the week. At least if this song wins, I can say that it won't taint my view of the whole year. I'll just be like "cool, good for them". Prediction: I'd much rather Malta or Switzerland win over this, but I still can't rule out the possibility, which just how many people love this song and are rallying behind it. I can see the juries drooling over it too. If this does win, I'll see it coming, that's for sure. The possibility over a big five country that's not Italy doing so well feels weird, I'll admit...They're usually so underrated cuz they don't have to go through a semifinal. XD But back to my prediction, ummm....it's gonna do really well, I can't deny that. But since I consider myself Team Malta (or Italy) here, I'm gonna go with my gut and say that it won't win. Top five, though.

Song: You Country: Georgia Thoughts: Meh.....this one's probably my least-favorite, but not by a LOT. In fact, I far from outright dislike it. There are times when I find it kinda relaxing to listen to. Between this and my least-favorite in 2019, I think this one's less boring, which is a good point in this year's favor! It's more like...something's gotta be in last place, and this song's still pretty boring by comparison to everything else. But it's still a simple love song that has some nice lyrics, it's not annoying, and there's nothing wrong with it...well, there's nothing wrong with the SONG, that is... Prediction: Not qualifying. Yeah, this is an easy one. XD Now, um, I haven't SEEN this, but multiple people have claimed that the singer has said some really sketch stuff, which resulted in this already forgettable song....pretty much being a guaranteed flop. Granted, the video doesn't have quite as many dislikes as others (like.....P-Poland's....I'll get to that later), but it's still got a lot. If Georgia do qualify, I can easily see people getting upset. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Song: I Don't Feel Hate Country: Germany Thoughts: OK, so....this song. This flipping song. By all counts, I should find it annoying. I really should. It's a song that reeks of passive-aggressive, better-than-you energy and I normally hate that! No, stop acting like you're sorry for me, you condescending prick! ...But dang it, I can't be mad at this song. I just can't. It just wouldn't be Eurovision without the resident goofy joke song, and this one fits the bill. Taking this thing seriously would make me look stupid. Not only that, but...I dunno if this is just me being very easily amused, but I just find this song funny? Like, actually funny? It's made me laugh multiple times! The lines that did so being the backing vocals going "SAY WHAT? He did not just say that!" followed by "Yes I did, and I feel sorry! I don't feel hate, that's the whole point of the song!" And even the stupid thing toward the end where it goes "So you can wigglewigglewigglewiggleWIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE-" It just puts a big dumb smile on my face, I can't help it! And the attitude of the singer goes down a lot easier when I think of him singing this to actual hateful people who lash out with bigoted comments, so that's helped it for me. If you don't like this song, I completely understand why. It's not for everyone! But it gets a thumbs-up from me (and not a middle finger) Prediction: I...don't know how this song's gonna go over with people? Will it annoy, or will it amuse? Will it be the next "Hatrið mun sigra" or the next "Moustache"? According to the betting odds, and the fact that it's Germany, I'm leaning more towards the latter. I don't see this doing particularly well. I can see the televoters liking it more than the juries at least, but it's still gonna be towards the bottom. I do think they'll do better than last or close to last, though. This song does have a lot of personality, that's for sure!

Song: Last Dance Country: Greece Thoughts: This song is breathtaking.....as in, whenever it comes on, it makes me stim so hard that I'm literally out of breath when it ends! And that's a really....really really good thing! Dear GOD this song is so awesome! Easily a top three choice for me. I already talked about why I love it before, and everything I said then is still true. I'm ever-so-slightly biased because I love songs that make me think of scenarios, and visualize them...especially when it's of, uh....w-well, uh....ideas of the comfort ship variety....And this song makes me think of dancing with my F/O (fictional other), feeling on top of the world, but also terrified of the moment ending, as she has to leave soon, so I hold on to her, not wanting to let go, wanting to savor this feeling until the dream is over....Uh, s-sorry for getting all poetic and stuff, but....I LOVE this song even beyond that bias! Listening to it is more of a rush than the song literally named "Adrenalina". The chorus BLASTS you with so much raw energy, it really DOES make you feel like you're dancing for your life until your lungs give out! You can feel the happiness, and the desperation, just so much...Truly, "Last Dance" is the PERFECT title. The verses aren't quite as strong as the chorus, which is the ONLY reason this song isn't my number one, but that dang chorus is enough for me to fall head-over-heels in love with it anyway. EASILY the best Greek entry for many many years. They've really, truly outdone themselves. Prediction: This has gotta qualify! Even if it doesn't get the awesome staging it deserves, it's still gotta qualify! This is one of the most popular songs in the second semifinal! Well, according to the betting odds anyway.....but c'mon! My energy SHOULD go into worrying about Poland and Estonia, so let me be right about this....let Greece be a shoo-in like I'm sure they are! I dare say that this could even finish on the left side of the board in the final! Unless some other songs REALLY surprise people live, but....for now, that's my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Song: 10 Years Country: Iceland Thoughts: I wonder how Iceland feel about being the "projected winners of 2020". XD It's kinda like being an "honorary" winner, and....yeah, this country that's never won before, but has come second twice? They could've done it finally! But it didn't happen. It's like....is it a good thing to know that, or not to? Maybe a bittersweet mix of both....but the good thing that came out of it is that their artist got to come back this year with this song. My first word to describe this song is cute. It's a very adorable idea, being thankful for your spouse of ten years, and writing a song about it....Couple goals, honestly. XD That's enough for me to like it, cuz that's just so wholesome! But this is also a fun disco song, and it definitely stands out among everything else this year. So, thumbs up to Iceland yet again! Only other thing of note for me is that when I first heard it, the line "How does he keep getting better" led me to think this song was about a gay couple, and....it's not. He wrote it for his wife. I just find it kinda funny that I misinterpreted it that way, heh....(and it's not the only song that I misinterpreted, wait till we get to Portugal) Prediction: People love this artist and people love this song. It's gonna qualify. Not a winner (unfortunately for them), but it'll still do very well.

Song: Maps Country: Ireland Thoughts: Yet another grower. This is a really fast-paced song that I imagine would make good running music, and the lyrics are pretty good! I really like the line "My soul is a map, my heart is a compass, I am the road" for some reason...dunno why, but it sticks with me. Also, can't go wrong with strong drums! I just like the mood of this song overall, too. Happy, uplifting....freeing! Gives of the feeling of an explorer setting off to parts unknown, which is something that no other song this year does. Makes it unique! Whenever this comes on, I enjoy it a lot, but I sadly can't rank it any higher. It's still definitely one of Ireland's more solid, fun entries in recent years, up there with "22". I still like "22" a bit more since it was catchier, but this song is no slouch and I wish it got more attention. Prediction: *in the tone of Deerie from Helluva Boss* Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh, no...Sorry, Ireland, but I think you're doomed. I really like this song and I want it to do well! Ireland have had such bad luck in the past, too! But they've got no chance in the first semifinal. A miracle would have to happen for this to qualify. It's really unfortunate...

Song: Set Me Free Country: Israel Thoughts: Pretty catchy! I like the rhyming flow of the verses a lot, even if I still can't fully understand the lyrics (which....I dunno whether to blame on her voice or me not liking the song quite enough to wanna sing along to lyrics that go by so quickly). What I could make out is well-written, though - if Estonia's entry is about the heartbreaking parts of breaking up, this song is about the liberating parts. I'm free, now I can dance! "Set me FREEEEE~!" That part is so good. Sadly, this song isn't an absolute favorite of mine...partly cuz the "Imma, imma, aaaaahhh" parts are a bit repetitive and slightly wear on me, but mostly cuz of competition. It's one out of many upbeat, catchy songs this year, and not the best of them. Prediction: Ehhhh, this can go either way. I wanna say it'll qualify, though. Israel have been on a roll in recent years, and this song is good enough to continue that. I wouldn't call it a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final and not bomb.

Song: Zitti E Buoni Country: Italy Thoughts: With very few exceptions, rock songs tend to...not do very well in Eurovision. Even when the songs are very good, fans of the contest just don't gravitate towards rock as much as the poppier stuff, and that's fine! Everyone has different tastes in genres, and rock fans and Eurovision fans might not overlap very much. But dang it if I still don't appreciate them showing up and loving it when they do! And especially loving it when they're as good as THIS! This song is SO good! I might prefer the Finnish entry in terms of intensity, but they're not really that comparable. This still goes REALLY hard, manages to be catchy at the same time, and I love every single turn it takes. That part where he sings really really fast, and especially that awesome bridge, ugh, it's all so good! It's not a favorite of mine PURELY due to loving other songs more, but this is one I like more every single time I hear it, and I've been bumping it higher and higher up through my borderline favorites until finally giving it a solid spot. This song's been getting a lot of attention and that makes me very happy, cuz it deserves it! Italy have topped themselves yet again. Prediction: Despite being a big fan-favorite, I don't think this is a winner....mainly due to, well, being a rock song in Eurovision (I HAVE heard the very rare complaint about it, like, saying the chorus is too loud, and....it's a rock song? That's the point???), but also....it's kinda the Italian curse at this point? XD Every single time Italy have a fan-favorite song, they just barely don't win (I still haven't forgotten how much of a shoo-in they seemed to be in 2017 before....well...people lost their minds). They do however, manage top five finishes, and I think it'll be the same thing here. I would love if it won, since I like it more than the three betters' favorites, but I'm not holding my breath. XD

Song: The Moon Is Rising Country: Latvia Thoughts: MAN this song's awesome! OK, so, you might've noticed that there are a few songs this year that have the same message: "I'm a woman and awesome". There's nothing wrong with that kinda thing at all, especially when said songs are all different in their own way! This one right here stands out RIGHT off the bat with a super powerful voice that cuts through everything and commands your complete attention, and DANG does it work! The lady's voice is outstanding, and the beat's not bad either! It's kinda repetitive with the "Padada-papa-rade" parts, but that's barely a problem when the rest of the song kicks so much butt. You got something to say? Say it to her face, coward! When it comes to the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs, I like Azerbaijan's slightly more. It's more fun. But this is a very solid song that I really enjoy, and I'm happy Latvia sent another song I like this much, with one of the best voices of the year. Prediction: Sadly, for as much praise as they've been getting on YouTube, Latvia aren't getting much love from the betters, so I have no idea how they'll do. It's very split. I wanna say that they have a chance, cuz they've got a VERY strong singer and I can also see some interesting staging to go along with it, but that's just speculation. XD Also, it's Latvia. When do they ever catch a break? So....this really could go either way, and of course I'd like them to qualify, but I'm gonna say they barely won't. Not every good song can be in the final, that's the sad truth of having so many slots.

Song: Discoteque Country: Lithuania Thoughts: Dance song for introverts, let's go! This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, and lyrics that encourage having fun by yourself ("Not like that, pervert!" - Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel), and....that's about it! There's not that much to talk about here, cuz with this song, what you hear is what you get. And that's fine, not every song needs to be picked apart and analyzed to explain why it's enjoyable. However, despite how much I love synth music, this song doesn't really hook me as much as other songs do. I understand the appeal, I understand why it's a fan-favorite, but to me, it lacks OOMPH. Musically, it just, kinda....stagnates? With the exception of that weird scatting part. And I think my biggest issue is that the lyrics, well, uh....immediately date it to this year, let's just say. I try to get around this by calling it a dance song for introverts, and that's how I usually think of it at this point, but yeah, it's kinda still an elephant in the room. But I still do like this song, I just don't love it. I'm happy that Lithuania are getting the attention they were denied last year, though. Prediction: Despite opening the show, I think this will be an easy qualifier, one of the songs to beat. I can see this being another top ten finish for Lithuania (maybe it'll finally break "We Are The Winner"'s record from 2006? We'll just wait and see).

Song: Je Me Casse Country: Malta Thoughts: Ohhhhhh MAN do I wish I could rank this one higher. If I wanted, I could bump it up to borderline favorite, but...I already have five of those! XD But dang it, Malta, a country that's never won Eurovision, finally pulls out a fan-favorite song (again, that is *cough*theyshould'vewonin2002*cough*), and I AGREE with that! Like the Italian entry, this is a song that gets better every time I listen to it. It's SO much fun! Not to mention the singer, Destiny - MAN, what a voice! One of the best voices of the year, I'd say (though I'm not surprised, since I loved her 2020 song too). Apparently she's a former Junior Eurovision winner? I'd believe that! I can praise her and this song for so long, and it's not even one of my favorites: I love the lyrics a lot! I'm all for positive messages, and this song manages to have fun while also doing that, AND taking jabs at sexists along the way with great lines like "I'm too good to be true, but there's nothing in it for you!" and the cute "Excuse my French~!" I love the fun swing instrumentals! I love the choir during the bridge! This is just a REALLY good song that deserves all the praise, and I'm so so happy for Malta. I'd best describe this song as "'Toy', but less jokey" (well.....lyrically. Musically, they're not that much alike, but....yeah, you get it) and I like it for for that! Prediction: Could this be Malta's year? A lot of people seem to think so! And....honestly, I'm all for it! I think this could be a very worthy winner. Not to mention, that of the current top three with the betters (this, Switzerland, and France), this is easily my favorite, so....I guess that counts as me rooting for it, unless some other song pulls a Conchita and shoots up the board after being heard live. For now, I'd say this is my pick to win (although my heart is still with Italy TTvTT) At the very least, it's a shoo-in for the final, cuz this is a singer who's been in this kinda environment and will probably sound great. I'd say at least top five!

Song: SUGAR Country: Moldova Thoughts: Moldova's back at it again with their silly antics! I absolutely love "Stay", but it's pretty clear that their entries get more buzz when they're being fun and weird. This song is neither the most fun or the weirdest of this year, but I still appreciate it all the same. Apparently this is the lady who sang in "Loca"? I remember that song....I don't think many other people do. Eh, I still like it, with its catchy rhythm, and its....weird rhymes....but this song is a vast improvement! I like the fun, flirty vibe to it. Sadly, however, with how many upbeat songs there are this year, this is one that kinda fades into the background compared to its competition....well, at least to me. It's good, but not great. I remember calling it a weaker version of the Azerbaijani entry in my first impression post, and that was way too harsh, but I still wouldn't rank it high. Prediction: However, I DO think this could qualify fairly easily. In the second semifinal with most of the mid- to low-tier songs with the betters (and really only Iceland, Finland, Bulgaria, and Switzerland being the ones to beat), this is one of the ones I think has a better chance of standing out. However, I've done this with Moldova's entries WAY too often....Loving them, predicting they'll qualify, only for them not to...I don't love this one, but it could be the same story here. For now, I'm gonna predict they'll qualify, though. I have no idea how they'll do once in the final, however...

Song: Birth Of A New Age Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: What a unique song! A language we've never heard before in Eurovision, incorporating the singer's nationality and culture into a song that sounds like nothing else this year. I'm honestly a bit surprised that this song isn't getting more attention! It's not one of my favorites, but I like it quite a bit. And not just for uniqueness points (that isn't enough to make me LIKE a song, just enough for me to RESPECT it), I honestly like how it sounds. The vocals are great, the beat is catchy, and the lyrics are very well-written. What was that about host countries never trying? XD Prediction: I want this song to do well, but I don't think it will....Well, I don't think it'll flop, but it won't be near the top either. Maybe in the 10-20 range. I do think the juries will like it.

Song: Here I Stand Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: So.....I feel like I SHOULD find this song boring, since a lot of people do, but...I like it. I don't LOVE it, but I like it! The lyrics are nice and....kinda hit home for me? At least a bit. The message of "keep pushing on, no matter what happens, don't let them break you" when coming out of a bad experience....It's nice. Kinda hard to fully explain without getting personal, so I won't. Not to mention that it has a good buildup, which is what I love in my ballads. In fact, maybe it's just me, but you know what song this reminds me of? "Home". At least musically. And I liked that song too, I thought it was underrated. Also, this has nothing to do with the actual song, but the video, but....even though I HATE being reminded of last year's cancellation, I like seeing the singer's thought process when writing this song. Even if people will probably think it's a pity party, I appreciate this song a fair bit. I know I'll probably look stupid for saying I think this song is more interesting than "Proud", but eh, that's FAR from my most unpopular opinion this year, just wait.... Prediction: Considering it's this year's "Home", and "Home" was so underrated that I believe it probably wouldn't have been in the final if it wasn't from the host country....Part of me wants to say that this song's doomed. Macedonia are normally one of the unluckiest countries in this contest's history no matter how good their songs are, and having one year where the juries loved them probably won't buck that trend. A lot of people are gonna overlook this song for being a fairly standard ballad, and yeah, it kinda is. So I don't think it's gonna qualify.

Song: Fallen Angel Country: Norway Thoughts: I loved this song from the first time I heard it. It was the first song of the bunch that I memorized the lyrics to. I like singing along to it. But I was certain, like DEAD certain, that it wouldn't go above a guilty pleasure to me. At first glance, this sounds like a really cheesy boy band song from the 90s, which is why I thought people were gonna eat it alive, and I was gonna have to attempt to explain myself for liking it (like I'm gonna do for the Polish entry). I grew up with this kind of music! I like it! And it's catchy! And the lyrics are just SO good! Feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love, and thinking that there's no way they can be happy with you, are feelings I really really relate to...so it's no wonder I jumped on those lyrics and etched them into my brain as quickly as I could. Helping that is that my current crush IS female, so I can easily sing this song while thinking of her...but even with that, I was still very hesitant to rank this song super high. After all, the reasons I had for liking it were purely just bias, right? That doesn't mean it's a good song, and people are still gonna make fun of it! I can see why they'd make fun of it! ....That's what I thought, but then I saw that it was ranked highly in the betting odds. And I no longer felt like I had to regret liking it anymore. And THEN, the music video finally was released, and HOO BOY, was this song so much deeper than I (or nearly ANYONE) thought...This isn't just a love song. It's about TIX's feelings of self-loathing. About being mistreated for a disability. It was his story. I was SO shocked at how wrong I was, and now I....kinda feel bad for projecting myself into it? I still can't help it, but....no, it's not about that anymore. I love this song fully and unironically, and I will never call it cheesy again. If you don't like the sound of it, or take it at face value, that's perfectly fine. But I love it. While this doesn't QUITE break into my top seven favorites, it's a very solid eighth. Prediction: Please qualify please qualify PLEASE!! Since it's in the Bloodbath Semi and fan-favorite songs WILL be cut, I'm really really hoping for this not to be one of those. This deserves to be in the final! I'd even say that this deserves it more than Slovenia and Croatia (songs I actually like more)! B-but...ugh...I can't say for certain that it'll be safe, that's the thing...but, haaaaah, OK, I'll predict it'll qualify. I think I'm overreacting. Norway have a pretty good record. I can see the people who like this song being enough to make it do pretty well, though it's definitely not a winner.

Song: The Ride Country: Poland Thoughts: You ever have a song that you can't focus on anything during? Like, you're focusing on something else with music playing in the background, but then that one song comes on and you just HAVE to take a break so you can listen to it because it's just SO good that it steals all your attention? That's me with this song. "The Ride" is right, it IS a ride, a ride I NEVER wanna get off of. And considering the only other Eurovision songs to effect me in that way have been flipping "Time" and "You Are The Only One" ("Stones" came close to doing that too, but I could at least still play during it cuz it was such good action music), then it should come as no surprise that yes, this is my favorite song of the year. And yes, I KNOW how stupid I probably look saying that. This song has NOT been a popular choice, but to heck with it! I can't help what music I like! This song is just so flipping catchy and fun, it's got a nice beat, and I've loved it from first listen! I'm not sorry! Heck, it's even kinda atmospheric in a way, in that it's a good nightlife song, giving off the feel of an amusement park at night with all the rollercoasters lit up with LEDs as you feel the wind in your face, no cares, no worries....just turn your brain off and sing along. I even like the lyrics, particularly "It doesn't matter if I stumble and fall / I'll make it through, I'll never touch the ground". It's enjoying life, it's the feeling of flying, it's feeling on top of the world, it's escapism. Have I defended this silly song enough? Point is: I. Love. It. This is the first time a Polish entry has EVER topped my list, which by default makes it my favorite entry from them ever, and I'm happy to give them love (they've been my second-favorite twice, but one of those barely counts cuz it was in a weak year and also a song that sounded bad live, so....yeah, my former favorite Polish entry was their 1998 entry, which....didn't do well, but uh, that's then not now ^^;) Prediction: This is what I've been dreading....for a song that makes me wanna leave all my stress behind, it sure does stress me out thinking of how much HATE it's getting, oh boy oh boy! Though, from what I've picked up, MOST of the hate has come from fellow Polish people who are upset that it wasn't who they wanted as their entry? So...that's not accurate to how everyone else thinks? Well, that's what I've seen, at least....This song's still not doing very well in the betting odds, and also, being an electronic song, the possibility if it sounding worse live than in the studio is....definitely a possibility.....S-so....yeah....Sadly, as much as I love it, I can't trick myself into thinking it has a chance....It's probably not gonna qualify....If it does surprise me (which HAS happened before with favorites I thought were doomed!) I'll probably flip out!! Unlike Estonia's entry however, I don't think it's AS doomed, might stand out more, and a small part of me wants to hope...The fact that the semifinal it's in, the second, is the one with the less fan-favorites, does increase its odds ever so slightly...b-but uh, I don't wanna get too hopeful! I don't want my heart broken again like with "Look Away" two years ago (which I LEGIT thought had a chance XD)

Song: Love Is On My Side Country: Portugal Thoughts: Kay, so first, before talking about my thoughts, lemme share the hilarious misunderstanding I had about this song for the first few times I heard it: I normally don't watch the videos, I only listen to the playlist in the background as I play video games or do other stuff. Even the first time I heard the songs, I didn't watch the videos, I just had the music playing in one tab and was focusing on typing on Tumblr. And....I thought this song was sung by a woman. True story. I thought it was a woman with a very unique voice, and I was gonna praise the song for that. But nope! Took me WAY too long - about over a WEEK, the time I decided to start reading comments - for me to learn the singer's a man. OOPS. XD But at least it kinda makes sense for me to think that way? With lyrics like "I never thought I'd be queen", he's clearly telling the story of a woman. In fact, I learned that it's the true story of a woman he met (I forget the details though). So yeah, I thought that was kinda funny, but how do I actually feel about the song? Well, it's a grower! I was worried that it'd stagnate for me and I'd end up indifferent, but the unique voice combined with a subject that I normally like (staying optimistic in bad situations) won me over. I don't love it, but it's nice and has good lyrics. You really feel bad for the woman (seriously, leaving home at sixteen?) so it's effective. I wanna believe love is on my side too... Prediction: This one's tough, cuz a lot of people do love this song, and it does a good job of standing out by being the slowest song in its semifinal, I don't really think a lot of people will gravitate toward it? And that it just barely won't qualify? But it could really go either way. I'm gonna predict it won't qualify and that it'll be the "robbed" one people will be upset about in the second semi. But maybe I'm just saying that cuz that semi will already be painful for my favorites, too...and I'd prefer Poland, Denmark, or Estonia's slim SLIM chances to come through over this.

Song: Amnesia Country: Romania Thoughts: This song is just a whole mood. I could just end my thoughts with that one sentence, cuz that really just about sums it up. XD Self-love is something I've always struggled with, and I've been trying really really hard to get better at it this year. Without getting too personal, there was something that happened a few months back that made me realize just how badly my hatred for myself was effecting people around me, and that I needed to lighten the crap up before it comes off the wrong way and....I-I bring others down with me....But after all that, it was HARD. It really did feel like I.....lost myself trying to have it all. But I'm slowly learning to better myself, and this song spoke to me because of that. "If you feel what I feel, don't bring yourself down, you're not alone, not alone now". It's simple, but it works. Admittedly, I respect this song more than I like it, but I do like it. There are just a lot of songs I'd prefer to listen to. And the POV switching from first to second-person confuses me a bit (she says that YOU'RE not alone, and then that SHE lost herself, and then goes back to YOU'RE not alone? Who's the one with the amnesia?) but that's just a nitpick, and I've heard much worse English in Eurovision than that. This is still a good song with a very good message that I needed to hear. Prediction: Even in the bloodbath that will be the first semifinal, I do think this song's mostly safe? Mostly...Romania haven't had the best of luck the past 2-3 years, but their record is still mostly hits, and this song's still the favorite of people. But some favorites are gonna get snubbed, and honestly, I wouldn't mind if it's this one. There are songs I like more. But for my actual prediction, um....I think it'll qualify.

Song: Russian Woman Country: .....Russia Thoughts: This one's a grower. I can't deny its catchiness. Sometimes it's gets in my head completely randomly, particularly that slow part with the...is that a choir? Um, background singers. That part (I don't wanna butcher Russian lyrics, sorry! >.<) But, even with that, I don't fully love this song. I know it's gotten a lot of attention, but to me, it just....doesn't hit very much? I thought about it, and I came up with this: this is a song by a Russian woman, for Russian women, and ONLY Russian women. It's about how strong they are, and how they should rise up against their country's sexism and- it's all very specific to Russia? So, I can't really enjoy it as much as the people its aimed at, and that's fine, because, well, it's NOT aimed at me and I shouldn't pretend it is! I'm not even in the target audience for this whole dang contest! XD So, my opinion DOES NOT reflect what I think of the quality of the song. The song's good. It's very catchy. There's nothing wrong with it. I just can't relate to it, which make it my personal least-favorite of the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs of this year. (What happened to Little Big tho?...) Prediction: Yeah, they're gonna easily qualify, even in such a stacked semifinal they're safe. They've been shooting up the betting odds recently, so I feel like they could do very well, maybe even finish in the top ten. Russia's like Sweden in that if their entry is popular, its guaranteed a spot toward the top. XD

Song: Adrenalina Country: San Marino Thoughts: Holy CRAP is this one heck of a grower! When I first heard it, I was more confused by the sudden appearance of Flo Rida of all people to really think about if I like the song. And for a while, I didn't even think I liked the rap all that much? I do like plenty of mid-song raps, but this one I felt didn't really fit the song all that well. Like it was just pasted in there from another song entirely. But, a few listens later, and I started rapidly liking this song more and more. Fitting for its name, there's just nothing but energy here. It's a great song to put on to just....pump me up! The whole thing's just dripping with a sense of pure fun. The instrumentals are great, it just sounds so good! In terms of growers, this is a close second to the Belgian song. Also, while I'm not a huge fan of Flo Rida normally, comparing past Sanmarinese entries I will say that his rap is a LOT better than the rapping in "Who We Are" was, that's for sure! Prediction: This song doing so well in the betting odds is.....honestly amazing. XD This is the most hype San Marino's EVER gotten, which I think could qualify them for the final? But also, maybe not...with San Marino, you never know. They are helped by Flo Rida's name recognition but there's NO way he's as big in Europe as he is in America (and even in America, I haven't met that many people who are actually fans of Flo Rida), so...is it enough? I think it very well could be! It's a very good song, and Senhit's been in Eurovision before so hopefully she knows what she's doing on stage. Also, this is a song that better have cool staging with it! But for my prediction....screw it, I'm gonna predict they're gonna qualify. I even say this as I have favorites in the second semifinal that they're definitely gonna push out, but ah well...

Song: LOCO LOCO Country: Serbia Thoughts: Yet another super fun, upbeat song! And while I don't love this song as much as others (Poland's, Denmark's, and Azerbaijan's entries, even San Marino's at this point), this is still one of my more favorite of that type, and I....honestly couldn't tell you why! It has a lot of energy, but it sounds different enough to stand out. And it's catchy while not being in English! I kinda wish I could learn Serbian so I could sing along to this...XD It also grabs my attention from the very start. I dunno why, but I love that "Hur- Hur- Hur- Hurricane!" followed by the beat starting, I find it to be a cool and infectious way to pump me up for the song. Overall, one of the songs that I don't think about a lot, but when it comes on, I enjoy every second...Oh and also it has one of the most exciting key changes of this year so there's that too. Good job to Serbia! Prediction: I think this one's a fair bet to qualify! However, it's not guaranteed. They're not attracting THAT much attention in the betting odds (which surprises me a bit), but the second semifinal seems to be where MOST of the lower-ranked songs are (sadly, says the person with three favorites in it), and among those, I think Serbia will most likely make it. The song stands out a lot. So I'm gonna predict they'll qualify! But if they don't, ah well, it could be to make way for a song I like more (hopefully...I wouldn't wanna say goodbye to this song to make way for the Czech or Austrian songs), so I wouldn't mind THAT much I hope. As for the final, they're definitely not a front-runner, so I could see them ultimately stuck around the middle. Unfortunate since I like this song a lot.

Song: Amen Country: Slovenia Thoughts: Where to start with this one....This is one of my favorites, and it's in the same way as "Stay" in 2019 and "Mall" in 2018 where I have a hard time really articulating why. It's a song that makes me FEEL, and it's hard to convey that in words, so yeah! This song just....hits me so hard in the gut whenever I hear it, so I love it! It's effective at its job! Even the big thing that I thought would hold it back for me - being a religious song - didn't hurt it at all in the end. The lyrics are ambiguous enough that it doesn't JUST come off as preachy and religious and that's all. It can also be taken as a song of rising above tragedy...The most religious thing it does is mention the heavens casting you out, and that can be taken in multiple ways. But if it is meant to be religious, that's fine, I've already made the decision to love it. I'm agnostic, so I don't outright hate religious music if it's not trying to shove messages in my face. The moment I fell in love with this song was one day when I was feeling really down, was listening to the playlist to unwind, and then this song came on right after Romania's entry (which I already talked about relating to a lot). When I heard the chorus, I literally teared up. THIS is the song that made me cry this year. Not Austria's or Spain's (the songs literally about dead family members), but this one. Is that...something to be ashamed about? XD I just....really love the lyrics...."The storm's relentless, but everybody knows, everybody knows we're born to the fight"...It really just sounds so uplifting, and yes, spiritual. And even beyond that, I just like how the song sounds! I love ballads that build, and this one BUILDS, with such a soaring chorus. The vocals are outstanding, too! That's one powerful voice! I also really love how, after you think it's over, it comes back for one final chorus, that's probably one of the best parts of the song. This song makes GREAT use of the recorded backing vocals, making the choir sound absolutely massive, a lot more than it'd be live. It really makes it sound so big and grand....Uh, I've rambled about this song enough, haven't I? Uhhh, point is: This is my favorite ballad of the year and I'm not sorry. I think it's underrated as heck. Prediction: And because it's underrated as heck, and in such a packed bloodbath of a semifinal crammed full of fan-favorites battling to the death, I....don't think....it'll qualify.....I'd obviously LOVE it too, but the competition's so flipping strong, and....I-it's still just a ballad, so it's not to everyone's tastes...I-I've come to terms with that fact, and if Croatia make it, I'll try not to be too bummed when this doesn't.

Song: Voy A Quedarme Country: Spain Thoughts: At first, I was pretty indifferent to this song, but it slowly grew on me, and now I like it. It builds just enough to keep me interested. It's still low tier compared to everything else, but I can appreciate it all the same. It sounds so emotional that I went into comments to see if there was some kind of story attached to it, and, uh....let's just say that there is, and....it's depressing. But it did make me respect the song even more. There's not a lot to say here, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just....overshadowed, I guess. Not a standout song, but it's genuine, and I like it just fine for what it is. Prediction: Oof...Spain once again find themselves overlooked, and even though the song's fine, I can see why. I can't see this doing very well...If flipping "La Venda" ended up an underrated flop, a song like this isn't gonna get Spain outta their rut. I really do wanna see them do well! But this isn't the year for that.

Song: Voices Country: Sweden Thoughts: Dang it....they did it again. XD Part of me wanted to be bummed that we didn't get The Mamas again, cuz they would've been my favorite last year, but....Sweden know what they're doing, and what they brought us was still really, really good. Like.....REALLY good. Are the lyrics on the generic side? Ummmm.....maybe? I have said that this is a relatively "safe" entry, but that doesn't mean it's not really good. More like...there's been a lot of songs with similar lyrics in Eurovision. But that doesn't take away from the music at all, which is awesome. The chorus is nice and big, the vocals are good, and the little bagpipe bits are such a neat touch. There isn't any big standout elements to me, and it's nowhere near "Too Late For Love" level, but it's just a very solid song. And.....dare I say, better than that other popular song that mentioned a million voices. Prediction: Do I even need to say anything here? XD It's a popular song from Sweden. It's gonna qualify and place in the top ten! Done!

Song: Tout l'Univers Country: Switzerland Thoughts: Switzerland are riding the high from "She Got Me" and have once again sent a big fan-favorite song! Except this time, it's one of the predicted winners! What do I think of this? Well....it's a good song. I love powerful ballads, and this one adds drums, which I also love! But at the same time....I'm not nearly as crazy about it as other people are. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it, but...I feel like we already got this kinda song with "Arcade"? I mean, there are differences, but its got a very similar sound with a similarly big chorus. But then again, I do think that just calling it "'Arcade' but in French" would be WAYYYY too harsh. It's not a copycat, it's very much its own thing. It just seems to be a coincidence. Also, even compared to this year's songs, I enjoy Slovenia's more? If I want a powerful song, I'd take that over this. MAYBE if I understood the lyrics, I'd like it better, but even so, this song doesn't WOW me, even if it's good. I'm happy for Switzerland, but....dang it, I can't say the O word here, cuz I hear the appeal and don't wanna come off as mean to a song I DO like aaaaaaa- Prediction: Even though it's not a personal favorite, I'm not gonna deny that this song could possibly win. I feel like the juries would adore it on top of all the attention its already getting. So, yeah, it's definitely making it to the final and doing very well. As for winning, I....honestly don't think so, but only cuz of how strong the competition is. So, I'll just say that right now, it's looking like this song will give Switzerland their best result in a long long time, doing better than "She Got Me" and (tragically) "Cool Vibes". It's obvious that in terms of how I'd rank the big favorites, I'd personally prefer Malta winning, but I would prefer this to France, so it's in the middle. But even putting my opinions aside, I really can't see it pulling off the win, at most coming really close.

Song: SHUM Country: Ukraine Thoughts: Like with Malta and San Marino's songs, this is a song that, while not a favorite, gets better and better the more I hear it. I should really think about it more often, cuz this song is REALLY cool! My first instinct was to compare it to "Fire Of Love" from two years ago (a song that wasn't popular even though this song is?) but after some time, I realized that that isn't a fair comparison. Literally the only similarity is the vocal style. Everything else is different. But man is this song fun! I could look up what the lyrics mean, but I don't really feel like the lyrics matter here as much as the music does. This song is clearly about the beat. I love synth music, and I also like bouncy stuff that I can rock along to, and this song is as bouncy as can be! The lyrics do repeat, but weirdly I don't find that repetitive at all. And once I got used to it, I started to love the speed up. It's a really exciting end to the song. Talk about going out on a....high note! Haha! S-sorry.... Prediction: Yeaaaahhhh, there's no doubt that this song's gonna do very well indeed! People love it, and for good reason! It's a sure qualifier for the final, and could very well finish in the top ten.

Song: Embers Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And finishing off this list is yet another upbeat happy song! God, I love how many of these there are this year....This one is far from the best of its kind, but it's still a lot of fun. The vocals stand out, the lyrics are nice and uplifting, and it's definitely the UK's bounciest entry in quite a few years. It feels like finally getting that uptight friend of yours to loosen up and party, y'know? XD I don't have much to say about this song, but I do like it. Prediction: What happened to "Bigger Than Us" was unfair, both its placement in the lineup and its treatment by the televoters, and it's pretty much cemented my idea that even if the UK send one of the best songs of the year, they will NOT catch a break, and that just sucks! (well, the exception being 2011, where it was the JURIES that screwed them over instead! Still did good for their standards tho) And also, like I said, this isn't the only song like this this year, so it's bound to get overlooked in favor of more popular (and even better) party songs. I don't think it'll be LAST, but it won't do particularly well. Definitely more toward the bottom than the top.

Aaaaaaaand there we go! That's all of them! Geez, despite having less entries then the past few years, this still was a LOT of rambling....so if you skipped ahead, I totally understand why. XD But if you did read all that, I'm happy you did! But I'm also sorry, pfffff. But now, the important part, my rankings!

Favorites:

1. Poland 2. Finland 3. Greece 4. Estonia 5. Denmark 6. Slovenia 7. Croatia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Norway 9. Italy 10. Azerbaijan 11. Latvia 12. Sweden

Like:

13. Belgium 14. Malta 15. San Marino 16. Serbia 17. Ukraine 18. Iceland 19. Ireland 20. UK 21. Cyprus (today at least) 22. Australia 23. Netherlands 24. Moldova 25. Romania 26. Germany 27. North Macedonia 28. Portugal 29. Israel 30. Lithuania 31. Russia 32. Switzerland 33. Czech Republic 34. Albania 35. Austria 36. Bulgaria 37. Spain

Indifferent:

38. France 39. Georgia

#eurovision #opinions

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