#like i think how they view themselves and each other is blurred with how others do
Note
what makes you like kandrew so much?? what drawns you to them??
(not trying to sound rude or condescending or anything im just curious lol)
I really adore characters that bite and snarl at each other for the purpose of enrichment in their respective enclosures.
On a more serious note lol—other than the fact that I have A Type when it comes to pairings (davekat, edxizzy, amberprice, etc), I enjoy characters that have somewhat of an unhealthy codependency on one another. Which is the extremely general way of putting it. I like characters that are kind of doomed to the narrative to never really be sated by what the world has to offer, but their person makes up for that (not that they always recognize it as such or that it's entirely positive or sometimes even completely mutual). And I don't mean doomed in a "never amount to anything" way, but in that bittersweet tone where both of these characters, wherever they fall into each other on the timeline, are at a place where their lows sync up, and that harmonizing rattles something to the perceived tune of "we're the best we're ever going to get". Again, that's all really general for the vibes of why I was drawn to them. There's a bit more nuance for them (and the other pairings ofc).
I like that they have a deal that encompasses both of them trying to push the other into being a better version of themselves but they're both too stubborn/scared to move first because realised potential means you have to recognise it too. Kevin can't expect Andrew to try his best when he himself is not, and Andrew can't expect Kevin to show him his worth* if he doesn't bother to try in the first place. (Though I know their deal was labelled more as moriyama protection for Kevin, I think that kind of encompassed the idea that Andrew would be a crutch till Kevin could stand on his own if that makes sense)
Not to quote the ec but it's one of like 3 parts I would willingly print and eat:
Andrew is the kind of character I adore because he says this and he really genuinely means it. Keeping what little he has left of himself is a last ditch self preservation tactic because he can't get hurt if he has no hopes/expectations/aspirations. No one can let him down if he doesn't let them. But he's so wonderfully flawed in his own ruleset because he keeps doing just that in the hopes that maybe someone will be different this time . Like maybe this time someone will be right when they say he's worth it** like maybe Kevin is right and he can make Andrew see what he's been refusing himself.
I also love that their deal extends far past the deal itself. In the most basic of terms, it was: 'you go, I'll go.' Andrew didn't have to trust Kevin beyond that. But he gave Kevin his meds and trusted him not to abuse that. Kevin had even already promised to help him figure out a way to wean off them before if they could earlier (and I genuinely think his fear of Andrew getting off his meds early was both a kneejerk 'the game/my safety' reaction because Kevin has a lot riding on this semester too, but also because he knows he made his own promise to Andrew and he thought Andrew coming off his meds early might have been an obstacle even Kevin's stubbornness couldn't hurdle when it came to helping Andrew on his feet after). Likewise I have to imagine that very few people put their trust in Kevin with much of anything outside of Exy given his temperament and wallflower disinterest in team building extra curriculars. So for Andrew to willingly give Kevin his meds to hold onto that he's gotten violent over before probably created a very morbid sense of.. pride, I guess? Like I trust you to hold onto the thing that ruins me is so... clenches fist
There's also this rough handed care that comes with all of that. They're unforgivably honest with each other at the best of times and unnecessarily biting at wounds just to get a genuine reaction at the worst. But then they also have these quiet side/off screen moments that are unyielding in tenderness? Andrew inspecting Kevin's hand for injuries. Kevin covering for Andrew when he's sick on court. Andrew telling Kevin to trust him during a panic attack and that he'll take care of it. Kevin turning his entire attention away from the Raven's to pull Andrew up to his feet. Them smiling at each other first genuinely?? Being idiots on the court with playful mocking shoves that don't get heated?? Like you give me these two characters who make it seem as if their hearts will genuinely stop beating if they stop nipping at each other, and then show me that they're actually wrapped up in one another so tightly that they're rarely seen apart? And are burdened (affectionate) with the task of keeping the other from doing the very thing that drowns themselves?? Okay
Also a looooot of this is from my perspective on Andrew's perspective on Kevin since we're given a lot more to work with, but I genuinely think Andrew was the first to push back at Kevin and make him prove things to Andrew and himself. Kevin had maybe a couple people at most before he fled to the foxes. Like he had nothing other than his name and reputation, good and bad, when he showed up at wymack's door. I can't help but imagine some part of Andrew saw this as amusing but also rather tiresome when it came to seeing Kevin constantly shut away in hiding. He was so loud before, where is all that roar now? When Kevin left Jean, he really left his only friend behind (sorry Thea fans I know she's there I know). So here you have Andrew, offering a deal that becomes this codependency because being out of the nest alone most certainly took its toll for a while, and it sounds too good to be true but most things are. So Kevin snatches it up and then there's the trust in the meds and the constant presence (in the sense of comforting consistency in spite of any disagreements (but abandonment issues kandrew is a whole other post now innit)) and the care and it all looks a lot like what someone might call a friend. And I mean they could both say they're not friends till their dying day but they're the only ones they're still trying to fool.
I just like that they gnaw on the scraps that they snag off one another, these leftover cuts from failed attempts at love and kindness, and act as if they didn't hand the pieces to each other themselves in the bed they share.
—
*Andrew is worth more than his ability to play Exy obviously, but I'm working from the angle that these boys have a very limited vocabulary in how to express that given their upbringings lol ie: my absolute Favourite part of the ec:
Like again I have my hangups with some of the ec but this provides soooo much more context to their beef pre-canon and the history behind Andrew's failed recruitment. Not to mention Aaron internally calls out Andrew for blatantly lying to Kevin when he tells him he doesn't care. (I think Andrew probably holds a certain disdain for Kevin struggling to verbalize how he measures worth and how that might differentiate off the court, because that line between wanting to be told you're worth putting in the effort for versus being told it's because of your latent potential is most likely rather precarious. Shipping goggles on: I imagine wanting to get someone's attention whose love language was built up around Exy is a tad difficult even if Andrew does in fact hear what Kevin's trying to say. I also don't think Kevin's malicious in his inability to truly express that Andrew really could have everything and it's infuriating to watch Andrew self destruct.)
**And for me, this, coupled with the above conversation with Renee, really puts into perspective how agitated Andrew is with Kevin for squandering his potential. He thinks Kevin has zero self preservation skills when it comes to maybe not putting all his balls in the exy basket, but that's also why he's so drawn to him because he has this insatiable drive to live for this one thing? And yet he's not even giving it his all like he's asking of Andrew despite that? It'd be easy to dismiss Kevin's overzealous love of the game as gross infatuation that's bled into Andrew's life, but if he smothers Kevin's drive and doesn't encourage him to be exactly as he sees Kevin, this person who really can achieve these things, what is there for him? He wants Kevin to thrive, but Andrew also wants Kevin to be right and that he can thrive too.
#im sorry anon do you regret your question now lol#im kind of bad with articulating my points sometimes because theres A LOT#like i think how they view themselves and each other is blurred with how others do#and what they tell themselves versus what they themselves can articulate makes it really messy#and thats what i gobvle up about them#theyre messy and mean and have a vice grip in each others collar and constantly demand more#and at the same time theres a certain kind of devotion that comes with promising to be the reason someone wont break thats so#agonizingly tender#kiss with a fist‚ love from the back of a broken hand etc#thanks for coming to my ted talk hope literally any of this made sense#aftg#aftg meta#kandrew#nana asks#otp: did you have fun#i should be sleeping but im thinking about ✨them✨
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Abstracted Heart, Mind and Soul
Art I kinda pushed out of an AU/concept that I need someone to write for me because I have too many WIPs.
I call this the “Abstraction AU” (unrelated to the Amazing Digital Circus, but does share some similarities), and here’s how it works:
The Basics
Inspired by Core Suppressions from Lobotomy Corporation
Basically, whenever one of the three undergoes extreme stress, they “Abstract” into one of these forms
The Headspace basically stops working the way it’s supposed to until the transformation is reversed: the way it’s affected depends on who’s Abstracting
The transformation only wears off once the side passes out: which sounds like it would result in a big boss fight or something
BUT, luckily for them, since Abstracting is basically letting out all your emotions and strength and fighting with all you’ve got, it is EXHAUSTING
so once it’s happened they’re typically not conscious for any more than an hour
Contrary to what you might guess at first, the side is still “themselves” while Abstracting: it’s just difficult to tell since the stress that causes the transformation also makes them act irrational and overly violent
Despite this, post-transformation, the side typically doesn’t have memories of what happened during the fight… until a few hours after waking up
It can happen to the same person more than once, but to Abstract for the first time you have to be pushed PARTICULARLY far
After that it gets a bit easier for it to happen again, like you’ve given into your inner monster
To further emphasise that, they all get “battle scars” from their first time Abstracting that stay with them for the rest of their lives
And to go into what the first time abstracting was like for each individual:
Heart
Abstraction is usually caused by intense stress.
While this is still true in Heart’s case, since being emotional is his job description, he needs to be pushed further than the others in order to Abstract
(because if that wasn’t the case, he would Abstract all the time)
Anyways, his first time probably came after days on end of extreme trauma
Specifically, trauma that neither Mind nor Soul did anything to try and stop
He likely Abstracted out of view from the others, and they didn’t even notice until Soul was like “wait why isn’t my trident working”
As Heart is… the heart of the Headspace, when he Abstracts, magic stops working there
His design was obviously based off of biblically accurate angels, as well as a Beholder from DND but without eyes so it would look like a heart
You’d think he’d be biased towards Mind while like that, but no- he goes after Soul.
He expected Mind to ignore him, but Soul? It’s his job to make sure things are alright with him, so why’d he just abandon him?
Even without the benefit of the Trident, though, I imagine Abstracted Heart wouldn’t be all too difficult for them to take down if they really tried their best, so he goes down rather quickly
After he wakes up, his head’s basically just in one big blur for a while until the memories start to come back
Then he just starts shaking and hugging them while constantly muttering apologies (even though he still has EVERY RIGHT to be mad)
”Battle scars” take the form of purple(-er) wings, fangs and a halo
Mind
Mind’s is a pretty different case
While his was also caused by days of repeated trauma, as Abstractions tend to be, his problem is that he kept trying to bottle it up and only started to show even the tiniest cracks just before the transformation
(after all, I don’t think they’d take a chance like that again after what happened with Heart)
He likely Abstracted right in front of Heart and Soul
His design was based off of UFOs, obviously, as well as a brain and spine. The eyelashes are meant to look like the sun’s rays
When he Abstracts, all laws of physics in the Headspace basically stop working and the place gets even weirder than normal
Despite having the advantage of Soul’s trident this time, taking him down is a lot harder since he’s metal: the key is to tire him out
When he wakes up after the fact, he’s even more of an asshole than usual, but mainly because he’s still tired and stressed
He gets all quiet once the memories start to come back to him though, like he feels bad about attacking them so violently but doesn’t really know how to express it
”Battle scars” take the form of rhombus-shaped pupils and back spikes
Soul
If you’re a time loop fan, then Soul Abstracting is typically what restarts the loop
He was designed to be the most humanoid to show that he was the closest to Whole, with three heads because… you know why
When he Abstracts, he fuses with his trident, the Headspace becomes black and white, and starts slowly to fall apart
Heart and Mind do not stand a CHANCE in this fight, hence why his Abstraction is inevitably what restarts the loop
However, if by some chance they lasted long enough for things to go back to normal, I imagine Soul would be… surprisingly nice after going back to normal
It’s like finally letting it all out made him calm down a bit. He’s still pretty awkward around them, but better than you might think
Even when the memories come back, sure he kinda shuts himself in for a bit and avoids talking about it, but he’s not as closed off as Mind is
Battle scars take the form of his right eye becoming normal (as in not identical to his left eye as seen in the art), and the left side of his face being covered in black (to match his face in his Abstracted form)
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Shipping and how it misguides people from canon reality:
OK. This is something I wanted to speak on from a long time, I just wanted to call out the toxic shipping culture.
Many fans try to ship two or more canon characters together for that they either love their dynamics or just the ship happens to fulfill thier fantasy. It's okay to do that, I ship characters too, like sasunaru, eruri and vanoe etc.
But what I want y'all to understand is try not to twist canon facts and themes and structure of the characters just to make them fit in your ship fantasies.
I talked about before too, how many eruri fans try and reduce Levi to Erwin and this isn't just about them, it is what happens with many ships.
Try not to reduce a character or claim your theories as canon. Now, thinking that your ship is canon is a common behavior but going out of your way and claim a particular character to be all about ships and making a character just a subject of romantic interests and enforcing love into thier canon character themes even if the character wasn't one to represent love related themes misguides many people to believe in fanon theories and this causes people to misjudge a character.
Levi gets subjected to a lot of Shipping and when a lot of people make judgement of his character from the perspective biases of thier ship, it blurs his actual characteristics and values. It causes a lot of people to disrespect a character and reduce them to something they are not. Also at this point the characters might not even be themselves and some other person entirely.
Shipping culture is very toxic, they try to enforce and subject a character to to a particular sexuality and mindset, that isn't even true
The thing is shipping isn't bad, as I said I ship characters too. But totally disregarding canon facts and associating a character to be all about shipping takes the actual and complex values away from character. The character becomes nothing but a tool to fulfill fantasies. That is very toxic and it also disregards the views the author wanted to tell through the character, hence a big disrespect to author and character themselves.
So what I want to say in conclusion to sum it up is:
Don't claim theories to be canon when there is no evidence or such.
Separate a character from the fanon ship and see the character for what it is in canon.
Don't be too delusional that you are totally blind to canon.
Shipping isn't bad but try to keep it away from canon especially if the ship is not canon.
And if you ship a ship that seemingly has very strong relationship like Eruri and Sasunaru (like me). Then try to not reduce or stray the character from it's actual morals and themes to make them look totally all about each other and neglecting the actually theme they are supposed to represent.
#shipping#eruri#erwin x levi#levi attack on titan#levi ackerman#attack on titan#aot#levi aot#levi#shingeki no kyojin#erwin smith#snk#naruto#sasunaru#shipping culture#erwin aot#kikarou is thinking
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I blurred the url so there's no shitting on the original link, because punk is not about oppressing and hating others who need help, even if they were wrong with you.
If you're being an asshole for anyone who needs help and is struggling, you're not a punk. Period.
Though, having said that, these SJW of any kind tend to be young and are still learning, figuring things out and most likely hurting also themselves. Hurt people hurt people, which includes excluding other people who also are hurting. They don't understand how their actions are hurting others who also belong under the same umbrella with them.
It's just this weird competition who has it worse, which is not punk but a Christian (and esp. Lutheran) view where the more you suffer the holier and the more loved by God you are. The original meaning of "Suffering = God's Love" has dropped off from it, but the concept of "some suffering is holier than others and thus right kind of suffering" still exists. It's like, we have a hospital for people who have a broken bones and then those who have broken their legs start to scream that this is far worse (and thus holier and more "right kind of suffering") than those who have broken just a one finger.
If you reside in a hospital meant for all broken bones, you can't gatekeep it. You need a hospital which is Broken Legs Only Hospital. It's insane to even think that there's a Hospital For All Broken Bones (=punk) and then the patients fight with each other like "My broken leg is the worst!" "No! My broken back is the worst!" "No, you two get out of here, my broken skull is the most important!" (and then they all agree that broken fingers shouldn't be allowed in to get any help because they're not real patients of broken bones).
The older you become, the more you realize that majority of the shit that's occurring (online especially) is absolutely meaningless and doesn't serve anything, and it's the best just step away from it. Literally "Too Old For This Shit". The ones shitting around still need to grow older and mature more to come into a same conclusion - hopefully. Adulthood doesn't automatically give anyone wisdom, knowledge or empathy.
Punk = Accepting Everyone Who Needs Help as Your Equal, Not Supporting Christian Values Of Who Has The Highest Rights to Suffer The Most and Thus Be The Right Kind of a Person of a Cause X.
Punk never asks "Are you gay enough? Are you trans enough? Are you mentally ill enough? Are you homeless enough? Are you woman enough? Are you man enough? Are you child enough? Are you hungry enough? Are you poor enough? Are you a-romantic enough? Are you disabled enough? Are you physically ill enough?"
If you are gay, trans, mentally ill, homeless, woman, man, child, hungry, poor, aromantic, disabled, physically ill (continue the list yourself), then that's enough. A true punk is your ally and will help you and be on your side.
Because punk and anarchy is based on EMPATHY. It's aggression on the outside and empathy on the inside, at its true core.
If you are aggressive and dress like a punk but your heart excludes people & animals & nature from your help, kindness and care, you're just an asshole*.
*setting normal boundaries as you have only limited amount of resources is a different thing.
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“This can’t be it”
• Part 1 • Part 2 • Masterlist •
Day 3: Betrayal | Left to die | Running away
Warnings: Blood, gun.
"Leader and I will cover the left, rest go around and catch Whumper off guard."
Leader stayed silent as Right Hand changed their yet another order. The team eyed them cautiously, so they nodded and fled to the opposite side.
"Ready?"
Leader loaded their gun as a response. They were feeling sour over the mission. It was so redundant to dispatch a special unit for a barely guarded base. It was even more absurd to think Whumper was there. Leader had spent years hunting them down. They didn't believe a word of the intel.
At least every part of the plan was safe to ditch or retreat, even if it cost the night's sleep.
"What do you have in mind?"
"Just the mission," they breathed out at once. They often kept themselves from vocalising their worries, as if saying it loud would make it real. Right Hand's decisions weren't clashing with Leader's plans, but they didn't like this daring attitude.
"Relax, we will be fine. We are overqualified for this."
"Not until we go home." They darted forward, Right Hand after them. Soon, they were standing alone in the pool of enemy blood, dead bodies around. Leader was out of breath from covering Right Hand's back. They couldn't find any reason for this unusual behaviour.
"You'll get one of us killed!" They finally snapped as they pulled Right Hand back from the camera view. Tech was yet to disable those.
Right Hand smiled, and it was one of the scariest things Leader has ever seen.
Right Hand pulled their gun, and Leader started to run without a second thought, a bullet grazing their ear. They stumbled, and one more shot missed them, the turn in the corridor providing a cover.
"When the agency told us to get rid of you, I was afraid pulling the trigger would be hard."
Leader closed their eyes, their heart rushing as they listened to the footsteps getting closer. They had to keep calm and figure out what was happening later. Leader was better than Right Hand in the close combat.
They ignored their heart breaking to million pieces. They thought they were friends. Or a family of sorts. They always thought their team would be with them no matter what. They ignored the feelings creeping up. They were good at it, too, but they knew it was going to crush them down sooner or later.
"Please don't take this personally. This is just what it takes to end this pointless conflict. We will bury you and Whumper here and finally stop dying while hunting each other."
As if Leader was the reason for this ridiculousness. With a deep breath, they felt anger run through their veins and lunged to Rught Hand.
They fell to the floor with the impact, the gun flying to the opposite side of the hall. Leader pinned Right Hand to ground, their one knee pressing to the unguarded chest.
A hit from the back of their head sent them to the floor. The next thing they knew was pain, accompanied by a loud bang. Leader cried, hands reaching to the source, their fingers meeting with a warm, sticky fluid. They didn't look down, pressing their stomach as they gasped for air.
"Job is done. We don't have to torture ourselves with waiting for them to die."
Teammate, Leader wanted to call, but they could only cough as Teammate helped Right Hand back on their feet, leaving Leader's blurred sight without a word.
Leader didn't know how long they laid and waited for death to claim them, but some time later, a shadowy figure stumbled towards them, dropping to their knees.
"This can't be it. I refuse to die like this. And I won't let you die by someone else's hand."
Leader could barely recognise Whumper from the blood covering the enemy's face. Without a warning, Whumper pulled them up, leaning them against the wall. Leader grunted, pain too much for them to breathe properly, let alone think of a sarcastic comment like usual.
"We're getting out of here, and you're welcome."
#whumptember2023#whumptember day 3#day three: This can't be it#day three: betrayal#day three: left to die#day three: running away#tw blood#tw gun#leader whump#leader whumpee
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PluralKit
Had a few seconds in a discussion today about PluralKit and accessibility. Ironically enough, due to accessibility issues caused by PK, I had to step away from the conversation, and my thoughts have been buzzing. I wanted to get them out here!
This post may be interacted with by any side of syscourse, to any degree. Please enjoy some discussion on the topic!
(And, fair warning - I'm pretty sick at the moment, so I'll be trying my best with words here!)
TL;DR: I don't view PK to be an accessibility tool, as I frankly do not understand how it fits the definition, and I'm a bit concerned by the amount of people requesting it be considered as one. However, I do acknowledge it as a good supplementary aid for communication, which is very different than an accessibility tool. I also think it’s important to acknowledge the very real criticisms of PluralKit, as well as the benefits it can have for systems. At the end of the day, calling it a communication tool literally harms nobody, and the usage of accessibility tool really isn’t needed.
PluralKit as an Accessibility Tool: Yes or No
I do not understand how it fits the definition of an accessibility tool. Accessibility tools, in my eyes, are assistive devices or aids that make a previously inaccessible place accessible, within context of the situation. For instance, screen readers are an accessibility tool; they allow those with the inability to read a screen the ability to do so - they can now access that space.
PluralKit does not do this. It does not add something to Discord that makes something that was once inaccessible, suddenly accessible.
The conversation that prompted this included numerous arguments for why it was an accessibility tool, but none of these actually showed me something being needed.
PluralKit allows for people to change their usernames and profile pictures.
This is not accessibility - it's comfort. I change my name using the nickname feature, and I find that, like anyone else in the world, I don't need an individualized profile picture for every particular state of being I'm in. Numb is just as happy being a yellow triangle PFP as Debbie is - that's just a picture. It doesn't have to represent us. And even if we did have a stronger emotional attachment to our image... It still wouldn't prevent us from accessing the space.
PluralKit helps people track switches, and if you change your nickname, it changes who said what earlier in the conversation.
This is not accessibility - it's growth, healing, and comfort, rolled into one. Being able to see who said what from a specific system is an absolute bonus, for sure - but even for us, a system who has had to work out their own way of tracking switches (hello, tumblr post sign offs), they aren't a requirement for accessing the space. We don't absolutely need to know who said what at any given time in order to be able to speak in a Discord chat. Yes, being able to read back through and know who said something is a big benefit, and could help a system in their growth. I'm not saying PK is bad - I'm just saying it's not an accessibility tool.
PluralKit allows systems who have large fronts, more frequent co-fronting, or regular switches feel like themselves.
Comfort - not accessibility. You can still talk in that server, even without PK. Also, speaking as a user who is at almost al times co-conscious with the others in my system, with such ease of switching right now that we can blur and blend seemingly at random... the nickname feature can be used at any time. If I want to feel distinctly like myself, I change my nickname to my name. Takes less than a minute to change my name in all the servers I'm out in (Currently around 10 servers).
PluralKit allows system members to talk to each other rapidly.
Again - why is PK necessary for this? When this happens to us, we just have the other person write (Like This - signoff) or they just. Say it, without even bothering to sign off. PK isn't necessary, meaning it's a comfort, not an accessibility tool.
And that's the extent I've seen for why it's an accessibility tool. Sadly, I just can't agree. The terminology I would accept far more is a supplementary aid - it's something that can supplement an already existing space, to make it better, but it doesn't provide accessibility.
Jeeze, Circ, Why Are You Being A Words Lawyer About This?
Primarily because "Accessibility Tool" has a lot of connotations. Let me think of an example...
I work in a middle school with numerous students who have individualized education plans, or IEPs. One accommodation (AKA, something that is absolutely required for the student to access the material) I provide is speech-to-text software. This is considered an accessibility tool. It is inherently part of every device students use. If it is not currently able to be used, I in turn must provide alternative accommodations, so the student is able to access the text.
This differs strongly from supplementary aids. An example of this in an IEP would be something like Manipulatives in math. Do you remember ever playing with things like these?
These are Manipulatives. They're in schools to help students have a visual and tactile way to access the material. These are not an accessibility tool, because the student can still access the material without it - they just can occasionally access the material better if they have these aids.
Now, if I do not have manipulatives on hand one day... that's alright! I try my best, and I find other ways to help the student. It's not perfect, but I can still help the student. I go to the parent and say "Just so you know, So and So could not fulfill this supplementary aid today, as I didn't have the materials, so we did X instead." It's a sad time if the student struggled more, but the fact is, the student doesn't need this aid - they just enjoy it more and learn better with it. It is always preferable to have the aid, but sometimes it just cannot happen for various reasons (lack of resources, lack of time, student refusal, etc).
If, however, I do not have speech-to-text accomodations... I cannot teach that student this material that day. I MUST provide that student an alternative - whether it be an accessible version of the assignment, a scribe, or an alternative location where someone can provide the accommodation. They need this to access the materials. If I go to the parent and say "Just so you know, SO and So could not fulfill this accommodation today, as I didn't have the materials," I could easily be sued where I live for not meeting student needs.
So why am I rules lawyering the term so much? Well. If PluralKit is an accessibility tool, then I should not be able to deny people access to it in servers where it's "needed." It would be like denying someone wheelchair access, denying deaf interpreters at a hearing event, denying my students the ability to use crutches when they've broken their feet.
And I'm worried that's where a lot of the "PK is an accessibility tool" talk is trying to lead towards.
How "PK is an Accessibility Tool" Can Be Harmful
Accessibility tools are tools that are required to be there for people to access a space. So what happens when a server can't or shouldn't add PK?
For instance: I am sure there are systems out there with epilepsy, migraines, or similar "flashing-lights-cause-me-problems" kind of things (forgive my wording, the illness is making this part harder). I am one of those systems, actually, and I had to leave a chat about this topic today due to the nausea caused by me accidentally watching chat when 3 systems sent PK messages at the same time. The flash of the double messages triggered the migraine nausea - it had been a particularly bad day at work, with other triggers for my migraines, so this just happened to be bad luck today. I try to be good about not watching the chat like a hawk, particularly in busy chats, but I forgot this time around.
Now, let's imagine this was a server for epilepsy. Should PK be there? Probably not! But if it is an accessibility tool, then it should be there, or else the space is not accessible. There isn't a conflicting need with things like screen readers and wheelchairs - but there is a conflicting need with PK.
By suggesting it's an accessibility tool, it's laying credence to the idea that PK should be required in spaces, regardless of if it actually needs to be there. This is an argument I’ve actually seen a lot - if anyone recalls that movement awhile back for Discord to add “plural functionality to all servers” for “accessibility.” And there's a lot of problems with this that I can see.
Aforementioned conflicting needs (migraines, epilepsy, etc)
The chance for systems to accidentally out themselves via accidental proxies (hello, muscle memory)
Related to above: this could be incredibly dangerous in spaces where it’s not safe to be visibly plural. For instance, my students often form discord servers to talk about school. If PK was an accessibility tool, the need for it would be there, and a student accidentally proxied, that could lead to bullying, outing them to administration (which could get parents involved), and harassment.
The pressure to fit in is strong, and as someone who has been in a system spaces for a bit of time - I always felt pressured to use PK when I started out. It felt like I was faking if I wasn't presenting every aspect of myself at all times, and trying to differentiate myself from the other alters. I had a constant fear of being fakeclaimed for not being "system-y" enough.
Related to above: Now further in our healing, we don't struggle with this nearly as much, but I also have come to realize how much differentiating ourselves came to harm us so much. By focusing so heavily on who was fronting and when, on who we individually were, our own personal identities -- we often let our collective identity fall to the wayside, and ignored the compromises that needed to happen. Our system got so much healthier when we found a balance of individuality and collectiveness, and I fear PK has a tendency to encourage that differentiation to a harmful degree (not inherently, but socially).
This leads to a major "Cancel-Culture" problem for those who do experience issues with PK and cannot have it present; I've been called ableist for less egregious things than "not having a bot in a server." I have seen people say before that it was ableist to not use PK in system servers, disregarding the potential for conflicting needs. If I ran a completely unrelated-to-systemhood server, and someone asked to add PK, I would feel pressured to do so, even when I know it's going to make things much harder for me. (And actually, this isn't a hypothetical! I did do this in a server I helped moderate.)
And this is where we get to the crux of the argument, I think.
Should PK Be In System Servers?
duh
But seriously, it's a great tool for communication purposes, and it helps a lot of systems! I think that a system server should likely use it, particularly when requested.
But it shouldn't be required!
And by using the term "accessibility tool," it comes with the inherent connotation that it is required for the space to be accessible, when it really is not. It's required for some systems to feel comfortable. That's a big difference!
And I really do think comfort is a major factor here, and why a lot of systems try to argue that it IS an accessibility tool - because "Without it in a server, I won't feel comfortable accessing it!)"
Without my noise cancelling headphones, I don't feel comfortable "accessing" stores. It makes me anxious and nervous and I can sometimes melt down or run away when I don't have them. I recently had to run away from ALDI because I didn't have my headphones.
But I could still walk in. I could still be in that space. I could access the store. I even bought groceries that day. Just not comfortably, and not to the fullest extent.
That's all, Folks!
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I feel like we, in the DL fandom, do not talk about how the Church organization people who send in the brides, are fucking trash as well to make a deal with Karlheinz, send in young girls who have faith in them to a bunch of sadistic 100+ year brats who torment them for sport, all for the “greater good” of humanity (ofc young women have to be sacrificed 🙄). Like, THEY should be risking themselves (they’re vampire hunters, like Seiji) for the sake of humanity, not these clueless, young girls.
Yes! I totally agree with you as much as I like portraying Yui’s childhood as something idyllic and much happier than her current state. It's undeniable the church is at partial fault for the atrocities and tragedies committed by the boys.
Now as controversial as it sounds the boys are not wrong to feed or hunt humans for blood, it makes sense for their father to set up a feeding system so there would be less disarray.
I mean it makes sense, according to the Diabolik lovers wiki page all of the demon clans can feed on blood however vampires are the only ones who gain nutrients from it.
This makes them natural predators of humans, as a race you can't expect them to starve so being sent to humans only seem as natural as humans slaughtering livestock. They are royal too, obviously, their blood supply would be of fine quality, so “pure blood” I'm assuming is healthy girls who don't eat junk food, haven’t smoked or drank or even touched drugs which is why a church is such a perfect cover. Also, I think the whole virgin thing doesn't play a part, it's probably an old wives’ vampire tale but knowing someone's dick hasn't been in your lunch probably makes it much more appetising.
Now, this under no circumstances means I'm defending the boys, I am looking at it from your average vampire’s viewpoint discarding human morality of well putting “an innocent lamb” for slaughter mentality.
But it's very apparent because both vampires and humans are intelligent creatures with free will. The silver line between a food source and an inferior race is very blurred. I will extend the difference on this another day but I'll focus on the actual church feeding system from what I've gathered; I just wanted to portray it from a different point of view for all those who rightly disagree with the sacrificial bride system.
Now don’t get me wrong if used correctly I think the sacrificial bride system is pretty great if you tweak some areas if you have a voluntary group of individuals who get paid to let the boys feed from them with full knowledge and consent of what’s going on as well as full insurance on their safety it is far more practical then no feeding system at all. What makes this feeding system even better is that it’s backed by both the vampire nobility and human hunters. Both are sides that have been at war for who knows how long and have had tremendous impacts on both sides, whether they be socio-political, or financial and physical.
See how on paper this looks like the perfect theoretical solution, but the show hints to us that there’s a lot more corruption involved.
I didn’t plan for this to become headcanons but here we go I guess:
I'm assuming Yui is not the only church girl who is kept unaware of the vampire's existence but one of the only girls who hold any relation to a vampire hunter probably plot armour.
Vampires and humans dislike each other. This is not new, they've probably been at war for centuries and whilst humans are extremely adaptable but the only reason they could reach a truce with the vampires is probably that they became a nuisance to the vampires and this would be the lesser of two evils for the church.
The funding comes from the vampires, each hunter gets as much money as the girls they send, and the girls that are sent must be of the highest quality.
Docile, sweet, easy on the eyes and most importantly with good-tasting blood.
However the war is over, and there are truces and pacts. The original hunters are replaced and hand their titles down to their eldest son and the training to prepare continues, but traditions and principles become lax, and discipline is lost.
Nepotism and corruption don’t take long to consume the system, the men bid the girls in between themselves selecting which church sends the most girls for funding.
Many smaller factions soon join under the powerful ones, you would think the church that doesn't sell as many girls would be happier no?
No.
The funding is taken away and the church is forced to give up and sell its girls to the bigger factions.
The girls are monitored closely, indoctrinates with weak morals, and made as vulnerable and trusting as possible, the not as pretty girls are given into the red light streets for spare change, and some are promoted to nuns only to take care of the new batch of girls or giving birth to them.
And the rest is history, the cycle continues. the vampires long predicted this as human nature repeats itself often.
#diabolik lovers headcanon#diabolik lovers#diahell#yui komori#headcanon#dl headcanons#diabolil lovers lore#church lore#yui lore#reiji sakamaki#ayato sakamaki#shu sakamaki
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When is a mirror not a mirror anymore
From the second half of episode 11 to the beginning of episode 13 Vegas and Pete remain in a self-reflecting bubble of their own doing. They both see, notice, understand and reflect each other’s emotions, it’s a two-way correspondence, a “recognition of the self within the other”(@hael987).
At the beginning of episode 13 the bubble is about to burst, there are different signs from the 1st scene that something changed, shifted, that there are cracks forming
The cracks
THE HANDCUFFS. Acting as a security blanket for Vegas, as @lutawolf pointed out they also act for him as a proof of commitment, as "wedding rings", as solid proof that Pete wanted to remain, because Vegas also left Pete with means of escaping(the bolt cutters); at the same time, at least for a period of time, they also act as an excuse for Pete to stay, at least until the childhood abuse surfaces and the self doubt creeps through.
THE FIRST CONVERSATION. “I only live in the present” “You think I’m a good guy”, Pete views himself and what he feels as something both ephemeral/transient and not having positive value. This does tie in to how many abuse victims feel and think about their self-worth and the value they have in connection to others. What this conversation also highlights is how while Pete presents a strong facade, and in some ways has found ways of dealing with his abuse, he has not completely moved past it. In a situation where he has shed all his masks and opened himself up to be vulnerable, a situation where unhealthy patterns can resurface, where he gave power over himself and opened himself up to feeling, the undealt trauma is just waiting for the chance to come out.
THE WORD “FOOL”. This word triggers something in Pete’s mind, the first wiggle of self-doubt, self-worth making his way through. Also the first sign of him shuttering Vegas out as he takes the hand Vegas was keeping away
THE ABUSE. Vegas made that food for Pete with care and love, because he recognised something was wrong. And his labour of love is completely destroyed by his father, and it’s at this point that maybe for the first time ever he stands up to his father and all he obtains is getting a slap to the face.
The effect
Now I think the juxtaposing sequence of the both of them in emotional turmoil are meant to make us understand that they are both caught up in their own head. Vegas destroys everything, like his father just did, the destroyed food as a metaphor that love is not for him; that even when he tries the results go to waste. Pete begins to question everything; the hand on his heart, the difference between what he says rationally(I don’t like it) and what he feels(he loves Vegas); what Vegas feels for him, did he really make a fool of himself? Did he give his heart away and for what? “Why didn’t I say no?” is said while looking at the chains. Because Pete is the type of guy to care about others opinion only if he cares about them and he never cared before whatever Vegas told him because he had all his walls up. (And I would even go so far as to argue that the only person he really showed himself without the mask is Vegas)
This creates the perfect ground for the emotional storm. Because, until now, Vegas and Pete functioned as two mirrors reflecting each other and it worked until now because even if Vegas was blurred(lost in his turmoil), Pete could still see him and, when Vegas’ mirror cleared, a reflection of himself.
But if the two mirrors are blurred at the same time, nobody will be able to provide the recognition and the reflection.
Them both and each other and the reflection they see blurred out of shape, no recognition to be found anywhere
The bubble bursting
Now before everything went to hell, there is this look they share, that feels to me like a grounding look, a tethering, both of them trying to feel secure and safe, to see the other and themselves back. And the key is they were both trying,they were both trying to reassure the other(the food, the advice). But then there are so many triggering words being thrown around(the main family, choice, pet) and that is what makes the whole thing escalate, because they both tried to pretend to be well, but they were both together too broken in that moment and so bubble shattering and bursting.
The difference from all their previous interactions, the real difference here is Pete. Because all the other times previously he provided solid ground, but this time he is sinking too.
And Vegas, at this time, cannot provide the reflection, the grounding back because he still remains under his father’s thumb.
And as Pete can neither trust or see himself or Vegas, the only solution is for him to go away. Because, as much as Vegas craves control, it is also Pete that craves control but not over others, over himself. And being with Vegas cracked him open, the facade does not work anymore and he still doesn’t have a clear view of what this new version of him means yet.
The resolution
In the end, however, Vegas did manage to provide the emotional stability that Pete needed. (For a complete breakdown of this scene go read @lutawolf's amazing post)
In that last scene, he forced Pete to confront him, asking “Don’t you want me to disappear?” trying to get Pete to kill him “Shoot me”, telling him “I don’t think you can” and then "and you know why". And the thing is Vegas did not go there with this intention, he just wanted the chance to apologise. But he was clear enough to recognise and reflect Pete and his emotions.
Because Vegas knows Pete and Vegas knows himself, but also Pete knows Vegas and should finally admit to know himself.
And at the end the mirror that cleared before and showed back the reflection again and forced the reflection back it's Vegas and Pete accepts that, Pete accepts the grounding and the reflection of Vegas and himself back.
And the end proves that the reflection, the recognition can always be found again, but this time it's both of them doing the work. A new stable form.
Let me catch you when you slip
I will let you be the mountain if I am the storm
#mirror and reflection and projection and what they both can give to each other really leaves me dead#ella's cursed thoughts#vegaspete#kinnporsche
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"Rain"
The Shuttle ficlet for @monthly-challenge day 1!
Bettina had been told that eventually her love of the spring rain in England would fade, that this regular monsoon would lose its appeal and turn to a deluge of drudgery. But as she watched the heavens shake their mighty droplets across the estate, she thought them all wrong. Sitting on a cushioned bench by the open window of Dunstanwolde's impressive study, she could've contented herself for hours to watch the whole of the grounds blur themselves behind the torrent, had the mere sound of a marvelous voice not interrupted her musings.
"You know, some people find the rain depressing."
She turned from the window to see James Mount Dunstan, lord of the estate as well as of her heart, standing in the doorway across from her.
"Not me," Bettina said, wistfully turning back to look out the window, "I think it's all like a dream— for all its chaos, it's almost peaceful. I like how it stirs one's mind to cease dwelling on things not worth the stress. Hear how it calls: 'Forget! Your worries are naught but a vapor; release!'"
It was the kind of whimsical thought of fancy that cemented her isolation in preporatory schools and made her a mythical wonder to relations and acquaintances alike, but to those who knew her best, it was what made her Bettina Vanderpoel— her innate ability to turn a value, be it the stretching of a penny or the stretching of a moment— from even the most seemingly useless or counterintuitive circumstances.
It was fortunate that this outpouring of speech was benchmark of her character, for in the eyes of present company, there was nothing more precious than her, and her character, and the outpouring of herself upon him.
He now stood directly behind her, a handsome smile beaming across his rugged face. Their eyes met so steadily and fixed themselves so strong that it took the her more than one moment to notice the tea tray he'd set on the table next to her. Indeed, had he not brought it to her attention she still may not have.
"I thought you might like tea," he said, and she'd scarcely a chance to nod her head in response before he'd poured some for her.
"Thank you, m'lord," Bettina smiled.
"M'lady," he smiled in return as he poured another cup of tea for himself, "I still have yet to fathom your delight at the gloom that besets an English estate. Perhaps I may join you in witness of it until I see it as you do?"
"James, my dearest," she said with a smile as she slid to one end of the bench to make room next to her, "there is always space reserved for you by my side."
And so he sat down next to her, by her side as he ever wanted to be, and showed each other the view of the estate in all it's torrential glory— until this too was forgotten, both instead choosing to lock themselves instead deep in the gaze of each others' eyes.
#spring fling creations#the shuttle#fanfic#the shuttle spoilers#kazzy writes#saltinna#lord mount dunstan#bettina vanderpoel#otp: a bargain from the ducal remnant counter
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DreamWorks Trolls
Branch: Troll Of The Wildglade
Chapter 1: The Birth Of A Legend
This is Trolls Brotherhood AU, I will tell the story about the legend. Branch's Narration
The sun shone on the top of the clear blue sky ever so brightly. Its bright yellow rays spreading out, a warm light for a beautiful day like today.
A great dragon zooms across the air so fast that it's almost a blur. His scales, the color of silvery white which glimmers like the river with pale periwinkle spots on his rump, the crest scales from head to tail are moderate cerulean, crest scales and tail tip are teal, and his wings are majestic and great like an angel's. He had two peach-colored, straight horns and arctic blue eyes. It flew just below a group of clouds shaped like creatures known for their singing, dancing, hugging, and most of all, their happiness for their freedom: the trolls.
The land where this dragon and the trolls live in is a beautiful, peaceful, and unspoiled land where every creature lives in harmony and safety. It's beyond any constant of civilization or unknown strangers that might arrive there. The water is purely clean, the green grass bends gracefully in the wind, the trees all stood tall and firm, and everyone live happily and carefree as if there was no danger. This land is what the creatures called the Wildglades. It is known for its many open areas within the woodlands where grassy meadows are located under the canopy of deciduous trees such as aspen and alder.
Now, one may think the dragon flew so gracefully and majestically thoughtout the sky, flying over a valley where some fields of flowers were near a river. Once over the river, it playfully dipped its paw into the water, taking a drink of some water while he had a chance, and flew higher once he's done. He happily flew across the field where he reached some giant rocks along the way.
Now, one may think the dragon is the hero of the story. He's not, but he knows the hero for sure, or at least, he will very soon.
On the rocks, beetles, insects, and reptiles are found either sunbathing in the sun rays or even strolling around the rocks. The dragon flew over the creatures, paying no mine to them at all.
In an instant, we reached a waterfall where there are rapids just after it. Near the rapids, a mother Eninac (wolf like creatures with colorful fur) was teaching her two cubs how to fish and out to a fish near the water's edge, She manages to swipe her claw into the water and came out a fish and landed on the ground. The pups immediately grabbed the fish as they tugged it back and front between themselves while their mother watched.
Later on, we see a view of some wetlands and swamps, surrounded by trees, marshes, and mud being shrouded by a light fog. In the waters, a group of alligators swam calmly while the others rested on the banks. No matter where you go, you will never experience a healthy environment untouched by the the outside world such as this one. The wildlife here live without fear and worry. Big or small, all creatures live with one another in symbiotic and treat each other respectfully.
Finally, the scene jumps back to our dragon friend flying over some beautiful trees in all shapes and sizes and also, full of life. It was actually a stood proudly around the area, across the branches, and flying animals such as butterflies and hummingbirds all flew through the trees.
In an instant, a group of trolls jumped through the tree tops across branches, laughing and hollering from the fun they're having. Below them, another group of trolls ran out of sheer freedom. Some even stated across the grass or on uprooted roots in their homemade skateboards or blades, others swung across some thick vines across the air. They all ran until they reached a lake and jumped into the water for a swim. The one traveling in the trees manages to reach the tops and enjoyed the sweet breezes of the wind blowing through their hair, swaying them back and forth.
The trolls in all colors and ages enjoyed their days like they do every day. They played together, sang together, danced, ran, and even hugged. With freedom, they have no limits or fear. These trolls are the Rainbow trolls and they live together as a clan known as the Glade Clan. They are in pod-like homes above the trees like treehouses while others prefer on the ground, living in underground burrows or pods as well.
Like all clans, they are led their leaders and the Glade Clan is no different and there begins our story.
The clan lived peacefully under the watchful eye of their leader: a green troll with cobalt blue hair and green eyes named Thorn. He wore reddish brown pants, dark blue shirt and a teal bandanna. He stood on top of a thick branch which he could overlook the others and the distance makes it easier to spot danger.
Thorn is known for his strength, courage, fairness, and agility. He needs to in order to protect his people from any danger that might come to harm them. All he wants is for his people and family including his four sons, John Dory, Spruce, Clay and Floyd to be safe and hoped for many happy days ahead.
And speaking of a happy day, on an early morning, that day will be his happiest and he didn't realized it until now.
"Thorn!"
Young John Dory: "Daddy!"
Young Spruce: "Papa!"
Young Clay: "Dada!"
Young Floyd: "Daddy!" "Our baby brother or sister is coming"!
Wood twitched his ears when he heard his name being called. A troll with orange skin, scarlet red hair, and amber eyes came to him, panting from all the running he did.
Thorn: "Alder, boys, what's wrong? Is there danger in our home?"
Alder: "No, Thorn. It's time!"
Young John Dory: Daddy, Mommy is labor and giving birth.
Young Spruce: Hurry, Daddy!
Young Clay: In our pod, Granny helping Mommy!
Young Floyd: Daddy? I'm scared!
Thorn: Time? You mean now? Lead me there!
Without hesitation, all trolls ran toward Thorn's pod: a giant pod that's blue and light green. Behind them, some trolls managed to follow them, wondering what's all the fuss about.
Alder: Boys, please don't look, I want you boys sit down in the chairs.
They sit down in the chairs, they are upset about their mother giving birth.
Thorn entered the bedroom and stood anxiously as he saw his mother in law, Rosiepuff, helping a beautiful teal troll with pink hair and sky blue eyes give birth. The teal troll, who is also Thorn's wife and John Dory, Spruce, Clay and Floyd's mother, Ivy was taking deep breaths in rhythm while being supported by a mountain of pillows behind her as two trolls held her hands, comforting her. Her face all covered in sweat and her hair was uncombed and messy from the stress of being in labor.
Rosiepuff: That's it, Ivy. Easy does it. (Instructed her daughter to relax and to remain calm.
Thorn: Is she gonna be okay, Rosiepuff?
Rosiepuff: She's just in pain,Thorn. But she'll be fine once the baby's out.
Young John Dory: Daddy, Granny, can we can see the baby?
Rosiepuff: No, not yet, sit down, can you please get out in the kitchen's chair? We don't want you getting sick.
Young John Dory: (whining) I don't wanna!
Alder: Shhhh! Johnny, come with me to kitchen's chair.
Young John Dory: (whining) Alright, alright, but I don't wanna.
Rosiepuff: You're doing great, sweetie, just a few more pushes. The baby can only do half as much if you don't push.
Outside, various trolls gathered around the pod. They've heard the news of Thorn's baby about to be born and began to wonder what he or she be like. Yet judging from the screams from Ivy, even they became the concerned for the soon-to-be big brothers and hoped for the well being of the two.
She pushed as hard as she could before she fell back, panting in exhaustion. Her husband smiled and wiped her forehead with a wet cloth.
Thorn: You're doing really well, my flower, I know it hurts and I know you're tried, but you're strong. You can do it. Just try again. For me.
Ivy: (huffing) With you by my side, I have strength. (Once more, she closed her eyes and pushed. She gave it all she had left, screaming at top of her lungs.
Young John Dory: (Young Floyd gasping, Young Spruce shaking and Young Clay biting his nail) I can't look! I can't look!
Rosiepuff: (smiled at the sight of the baby being halfway out.) Just one more push. (Ivy did as she was told and with a final push, the baby was finally out as it slid into Rosiepuff's arms.)
Ivy fell back against the pillows, breathing heavily with her eyes closed. The silence surrounded them was replaced by a high pitched wailing. John Dory, Spruce, Clay and Floyd walked into the bedroom as they gasped and see the baby. Ivy panted and opened her eyes. With a smile, she triedly lifted herself up to see the miracle. Thorn gasped and grinned wildly at the sight of his newborn in his mother in law's arms. The infant is beautiful!
Rosiepuff: (Warm smiled and tears in her eyes) It's a beautiful little boy!
Young John Dory: We're big brothers now!
Young Spruce: He is adorable!
Young Clay: Awwww! He is so cute!
The parents smiled as Thorn hugged his wife, giving her small kisses on her forehead. You did it, my dear. We have fifth son, just like you four.
Ivy: (with tears in her eyes.) We do, don't we?
Once the baby's all cleaned up, Rosiepuff wrapped him in a fuzzy green blanket and passed over her grandson to his parents. Ivy held him close to her crest, kissing his head. The baby calmed down in his mother's embrace and blinked up at her. The baby's eyes were as big and as blue as sky. He inherited his mother's beautiful's teal green skin and his father's cobalt blue hair. He looked up confusingly, but when his vision cleared up, he saw his parents gazing at him with warm smiles, all pain forgotten. The baby cooed as he reached his arms up.
Young Floyd: Hey, there! Baby brother, we are your big brothers and welcome to the family. (The baby cooed)
Thorn caressed the baby's cheek and his son responded in nuzzling it. Thorn realized that his people might want to welcome his son to the world. He stood up and opened the door where the results.
Thorn: My trolls, it's a boy! We have a beautiful, blue troll of a son!
All the trolls cheered, gave their congratulations to the father, and jumped for joy, knowing that not only did they have a new member to the clan but a new heir as well. Thorn shushed them softy, not wanting to scare the baby inside. He allowed them to come and see the newborn, but they made sure not to overcome the baby, his brothers and his mother. Once they saw the baby, they oohed and awed and even smiled.
Female purple troll: (exclaimed clenching her hands together) Aw! He's beautiful!
Another troll: (cooed) Isn't he cute?
A trolling: (whine) I wanna see the baby.
Young John Dory: Daddy, Mommy, what's are you two gonna named him?
Luckily for him, his father gave him a lift and put him on his shoulder where his child could see the baby clearly.
The little baby watched curiously at the trolls before him. There were all happy for him and he managed to make a small smile as he babbled happily, earning some awes from the crowd.
Young Floyd: Mommy, Daddy, Alder? What's are you two going to named our new baby brother?
Alder: We must choose a name for the prince. Suggestions, anyone?
An older troll: (babbling) Yes, it should be something distinguished, I think, something worthy for the prince of the Glade Clan. Perhaps Rowan...or Storm.
Young Clay: Huh?
A male troll with glasses: (suggested) Sycamore sounds for me.
Young John Dory, Spruce and Clay: Sycamore?
Young Floyd: What's about Branch?
The baby hiccuped. He shook his little head, not liking any of the names being suggested for him.
Newborn Baby Branch: Bah! Bra...Bran!
Ivy chuckled at his son's attempt to name himself or maybe speak. She tried to guess what he's trying to say.
Ivy: You know, I think our son wants to be named...Branch. I think Branch would be nice.
Rosiepuff: Oh yes! That sounds lovely!
Thorn: And it's a small yet strong, it's perfect for our son. Don't you agree?
The trolls nodded in agreement, some even clapped their hands happily. It looks like they all agree with the name decision.
Rosiepuff: (giggled) My, my. Barely an hour old and the boy's already helping our family make decisions like a leader.
Alder held him and gently lifted him up for all to see.
Alder: Thorn and Ivy's fifth son and future heir to the clan: Branch!
Everyone cheered along loudly, which slightly surprised little Branch.
Thorn: (chuckled and told his son) It's all right, Branch. That's the traditional family welcome, just for you.
Yonug John Dory: Daddy, We're big brothers now! Branch, welcome to the family.
Young Spruce: Branch, welcome to the family.
Young Clay: (sobbing) We're big brothers now, Branch, welcome to the family and we are happy for you.
Young Floyd: Branch, We're your big brothers and you're our baby brother, you are so lucky.
Branch smiled as he nuzzling his mother, his father and his older brothers lovingly which Thorn returned.
Thorn: We love you, Branch. We all do.
He then placed his son on the bed. Surprisingly, he than began crawling towards his mother, only to softly fail at first. But he rose up and manages to reach his mother who grabs him lovingly. John Dory and Spruce are playing sword fighting with their wooden swords. Clay and Floyd playing puzzles and Rosiepuff then handed Ivy a bottle for him to feed. They usually gather milk from other animals they raise in their small corrals. Branch saw the bottle and began drinking the warm, fresh milk from it, enjoying its sweet. Even making a small bubble after he burped it out, making the others laugh.
Six Months Later
A few months later after he was born, a greedy bounty troll hunter who entered the woods, his Hernan Reyes the leader of an organization called themselves Talons along with his partner in crime Dr. William Afton researched in the forest.
Male Troll Hunter #1: Reyes, looking all in the forest.
Hernan Reyes: So, life not fair for us to do it. We are coming to hunt down to hideous creatures with guns and blades.
Young William Afton: My lord, I found either of those little creatures. They were hiding around it. Near in the forest, the trolls live in over there.
A young scienist Breanna Diaz walked out of the tent and asked Dr. Bruce Davis.
Young Breanna Diaz: Reyes, please don't kill that creatures. My son went to school, his father dropped him off until I picked him up from school.
Hernan Reyes: My son, Dante and I will hunt down the deadly creatures. (He walked into the forest, the trolls heard an earthquake and looked up and gasped by they running and hidden in their pods.)
Middle Aged Bruce Davis: Why did you do this?
Hernan Reyes: I do have a power to hunt down because there are rapids creatures up there and they got away from us.
Meanwhile, Thorn taught John Dory, Spruce, Clay and Floyd about the territories and their boundaries and even to use his hair correctly like a whip. Ivy taught Floyd how to sing and dance. Floyd walked into the room, he see his baby brother in his cradle. Branch smiled at him.
Young Floyd: Branch, you are young and strong like Daddy, he and Alder is protecting our home from threat. (Branch cooed and crawling towards him.) Mommy, Daddy, can we go to the water, with John, Spruce and Clay, please?
Ivy: That's very good, my sons. He's got what he deserved!
Young Clay: (chuckle, he successfully squinted the water from his mouth onto John and Spruce's faces.) John and Spruce's all wet!
Young John Dory: Mommy? Daddy? Clay squinted me in the face.
Young Spruce: Me too! WAAAAAAH!
Thorn: You're a sneaky little troll! Aren't you, my boys!
Young Floyd: (chuckled) Mommy, Daddy, big brothers and baby brother, let's go!
Ivy grabbed him gently and wrapped a light green blanket around him, she carried him on top of her hair.
At the pond, Clay played with his brothers, a little pink female trolling making a sand castle to make her mother and her father proud. He squinted at her, he chuckled at her, she sobbing, and he walked into her.
Young Clay: Are you okay? (She looked at him and he apologized to her.) What's wrong? I'm sorry for you squinted at you.
Little pink female trolling: That's okay, I trying to make sure I make a sand castle.
Young Clay: Are you doing this? If I can help you out with this. (Her mother called to her.)
Female light pink troll: Viva, I hope you can find all the shells.
King Peppy: Viva!
Young Viva: It's nice to meet, bye, promise.
Young Clay: I'm promise!
At the Talons headquarters, Hernan plans to hunt the trolls down, along with his teenage son Dante, and the rest of bounty troll hunters.
Hernan Reyes: Tonight... We hunt!
Talons Bounty Troll Hunters: Yeah! Kill the beasts!
Hernan Reyes: Search the entire forest! Bring me all trolls! Dead or alive!
Talons Bounty Troll Hunters: Yeah!
Breanna look at them, and hold her son Noah, who is scared.
Pastor Abacus Chunch run and raise his hand by asked him to stop hunting trolls in the woods.
Young Abacus Chunch: Stop!
Hernan Reyes: (smiled evilly at him) So, pastor, I need a word with you about to hunt down the trolls. Bring the trolls, dead or alive!
Young Abacus Chunch: Please, I want you to stop hunting in the woods. I don't want you and your soldiers to kill the creatures with guns, swords and the other weapons for your harm.
Hernan Reyes: Stay out of my way, I will crush you with my hammer. You won't be able to stop me for hunting.
Young Abacus Chunch: Please stop, kill the creatures and the wildlife and it's will cause chaos and all the madness because of it between the village and the forest. I don't want you to murdered it. Near in the forest. (He pushed him into the ground.)
Hernan Reyes: I told you, stay out of my way and We will hunt the trolls tonight!
The Talons soldiers cheered on and they marching out of the city and into the forest.
We are going to challenge by protecting the animals from being killed by bounty hunters. Guns violence are illegal and it's to dangerous for us.
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls au#branch trolls#trolls branch#trolls baby branch#trolls john dory#trolls jd#trolls spruce#trolls bruce#trolls clay#trolls floyd#trolls brotherhood au#trolls oc#william afton#trolls viva#trolls cliva#dante reyes
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i would love to know more about 83 stops and the one where kara grieves if you pls thanks thanks
ahhh thanks for much for the ask!!
83 stops is, at its simplest, a story about a bus ride. at its most complex, it's a network of things and people and stories all intertwined together. i started writing this on the bus to work each morning (inspiring, i know). at first i just wanted to capture the experience of riding a bus (especially when you know the route and stops and the predictability of it): how sometimes you experience every agonizing stop in all of its tedious glory but other times your mind wanders because you saw a new piece of graffiti that reminds you of Emmett, your real estate agent son from your third marriage who married a house painter and, when the relationship went sour (his fault), she (the house painter) made it her personal mission to repaint (read: dump a bucket of paint on) every park bench that had his real-estate advert (and face) posted on it and then suddenly four bus stops have whizzed past.
And then i did that a bunch of times and started linking the relationships together (what about the man's first wife? second wife? who is the bus driver? what about the random lady who speed walks beside the bus each morning? or the strange man from out of town wearing a fedora carrying a crocodile skin suitcase? or the abandoned printing factory the bus still drives around even though no one has worked there for decades?). Then I made a city map and wrote a history for the city and hopefully maybe one day will finish this thing.
----
the one where kara grieves is.. well it's all grief. it's grief and angst and loss but in the way we all sort of hope for it: after experiencing a full life and not because of unexpected tragedy. i don't touch this one often because i have to be in very particular headspaces to both write and edit it. i (think?) posted this excerpt once before, but this was the (heavily unedited) scene i wrote that set the whole thing up:
“Do you know how lucky we are? To have had this life together?” Lena replied, eyes glistening with unfallen tears. Her cheek leaned into Kara’s touch - it was colder than usual, and Kara moved to grab another blanket, but Lena’s fingers held firm.
Kara squinted in question and brow scrunched in confusion, but Lena simply shook her head.
“It won’t matter soon.”
“Soon?” Kara parroted, eyes blinking with the sudden wave of tears blurring her vision. “I thought-”
“It’s time, darling.”
The words echoed through their bedroom and ricocheted off the surfaces to land like a ton of bricks onto Kara’s heart.
“No,” she replied - prayed. Surely if Rao existed; if she had sacrificed so much of her life, she could have this one thing - she could have more time.
But colder lips pressed themselves to Kara’s palm in reply.
“No please," Kara said and brushed angrily at the tears abstracting the view of Lena's face. "Not yet; not now. We can still do something. We can… what can we do? Tell me what to do -?”
“Lay with me?” Lena asked, and for the first time Kara could hear the frailty in Lena’s voice. She could see the denial she’d been living with for weeks if not months.
And she wanted to run; to fly; to freeze time. She wanted anything but this; anything but the fading pulse and shallow breaths and gentle smile of the brightest light Kara had ever known dimming before her eyes. It was worse than Krypton. It was worse than every failed save and difficult life choice, because this was Lena.
Lena, who had stood by her side for a lifetime; who held her heart; who never backed down from a fight. Lena who was a life force greater than Kara’s own will or courage or stamina.
Until now. Until death came to her doorstep. Until Kara, fighting back her instinct to fix, climbed into their bed next to Lena. Until Kara wrapped her arms around her wife one final time, and with one final press of her lips to Kara’s, she met it with a soft sigh.
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i wish people were more nuanced about willow she's just as terrible as spike okay. not in the way that willow and/or spike vitriolic haters think. or a little in that there's a category of spike criticisms that extend to willow it's just that i like both characters still especially willow. they juet both have very blurred moral boundaries eg both helping dawn in forever. or honestly even willow and spike both kind of trying to fix their love lives with a spell in lovers walk bc they are struggling to cope and process. then this post about them in becoming / the gift / chosen. this other post too.
then in s6 both are comparable to the trio in how they: seek to control others to the point of violating boundaries; view buffy on a pedestal and position themsleves as villains in opposition to the hero (spike does this with all slayers); again call moral categories into question; have an attitude of self-pity however buried, etc. like it isn't just spike, willow does it tooooo she forced buffy back to life!! and i do feel like willow is "good" while doing all this and spike is "evil" and then "not good but okay" - upheld by the show and the characters views of themselves - until s6 when willow resurrects buffy "for her", and buffy sleeps with spike to feel something where i truly don't think spike realises that it's also a form of self destruction. obviously a selfishness to both / refusal to see how buffy could be hurting that is also present in willow erasing tara's memories and then everybody's memories.
i also have thoughts on seeing red as their turning points, for spike to finally finally realise that something needs to change and then follow angel's footsteps to get a soul, whereas willow at the end of the episode follows faith's spiral into evil (unconsciously but still a parallel) because she had an already fragile sense of worth broken by tara's death and so for her there's only descent until xander gets through to her. seeing red also having sexual violence and a lesbian dying right after a moment of happiness to manufacture character development is bad and it should at the very least have been filmed with sensitivity and not for a double shock but whatever. anyway. if anything that run of episodes is proof that a soul doesn't force you to be good and that you can't just decide that you are good (or evil, which dark!willow tried to insist she is bc she thought goodness was no longer available to her) but rather good is a choice enforced with each action...! willow does choose not to end the world, spike does choose to get a soul. buffy does choose to live in the world, this world she has chosen to protect, and with dawn beside her.
this is just thoughts thrown at the screen but look. willow is my special girl and she is already in the coalition of characters who have evil phases and beyond that are not always very good people tm however i am advocating for her to be in subset of people who do insane things for or because of buffy. she even has to make a physical journey back in s7 which spike faith then angel also do. okay.
#btvs meta#i guess. mostly its nonsensical dont read this ok im anxious just posting it bc its so incoherent
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What draws you to the starker pairing? I was browsing the tag the other day and encountered drama about others thinking it’s romanticizing a wholesome father/son relationship… I’ve never seen it that way but maybe it’s my fatherless eyes that skew it. LOL! I know pairings don’t have to be canon to be enjoyed so I’m curious what you like about starker and what made that switch flip for you.
Oooh, so many reasons! (To… the point that I'm putting up a read-more because it got very long, haha.)
Some of them only minimally have to do with Tony and Peter themselves-- I enjoy age-gap ships and mentor-mentee ships in general, so that was already a built-in appeal.
For age-gap ships, there's a special kind of Spicy that comes from "forbidden love" narratives where the "forbidden" part is actually warranted-- it's not just based on societal prejudices like forbidden love based around homophobia/racism/classism; there are some pretty legitimate reasons why major age gaps tend to be a bad idea! Characters being put in a situation where they've found someone that they love deeply, but acting on those feelings means potentially alienating their other loved ones over very real concerns (instead of just bigotry or w/e), but they want/love each other so much they can't resist going for it anyway even though they understand it's a bad idea? Delicious, feed it to me slowly like grapes.
For the mentor-mentee thing, I really love the process of relationships changing from one category into another category, where the boundaries of the relationship blur and shift and the characters have to grapple with what it feels like to suddenly redefine their view of the other person/their relationship/their interactions. I love this even for platonic relationships (any scene where a teacher/mentor realizes that they're actually on equal footing with their student/mentee, or even being surpassed by them, is chef's kiss) but especially for romantic ones! And obvs that pairs super well with the age-gap thing, since the shift from viewing the younger partner as "a kid I have to protect/keep an eye on/put up with/mentor/whatever" to "someone I could have an adult relationship with" goes right along with that and is the perfect set-up for my favorite ship seasoning: g u i l t.
(I also enjoy incest ships for all of these reasons, so the fact that Tony and Peter's relationship in canon can be read as a kinda-sorta parental surrogate thing is not actually a neutral factor for me, lmao.)
So Starker is partially just a perfect platform for themes that I'm already inherently attracted to, but then you add in the specifics of their actual dynamic/characters and mmmm.
Peter being a superhuman/superhero and what that does to their dynamic when Peter's already grown up too fast in so many ways? (And what the fact that Peter is actually at an utter physical advantage compared to Tony does to the Vibes, whether you're using it to balance out the emotional power imbalance in softer Starker or showcasing just how strong that emotional imbalance is when Tony doesn't need to actually be "stronger" than Peter to take advantage of him in dark Starker?)
The parallels in their experiences (orphans, superheroes) and personalities (sass, scientific genius, being huge fuckin' goofballs despite the scientific genius, guilt/responsibility complexes a mile wide)? The way that affects Tony, seeing this person so much like himself but without all of the parts that he uses to keep people from getting too close? The way it allows them to understand each other so deeply, and to have to go easier on themselves, when they can see their own habits reflected back at them in the person they love?
The fact that Tony literally canonically invented time travel to get Peter (and Peter specifically) back, and died to do it?!?!??!?!
Well, fuck! You've got the recipe for a ship that I'm still actively writing for over a year after first getting into it, I guess.
(Though this is also why I'm generally not into no-powers and other full-canon-replacement AUs for Starker-- every facet of their canon dynamic makes the ship even better for me, so mundane AUs or same-age AUs or outright villain/SIM Tony etc. etc. rub off some of the polish from what I like about them! I do genuinely love that Starker fandom has so many different flavors of Starker to sample, though, even if a lot of those flavors aren't ones that I'm gonna try.)
tl;dr: it's a good ship brent.
Thank you for the ask 💖💖💖
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I have been reading x reader fics lately because, same as everywhere, there a bunch of them that are incredibly good.
But there is something that I've noticed that is not being addressed, and maybe I'm nitpicking, but I think it is important.
Make OCs, please. Don't be afraid of making OCs. Insert your creations, give them names and make them fall in love with canon characters. It's fine, keep the second person point of view.
Why do I say this?
Well, I've read fics where OC, self insert, x reader, y/n all blur the lines and become the same thing, when each exists for different reasons. So let me add a few definitions.
X reader and y/n (your/name)
are virtually the same thing. The difference is mainly in style. This is a writing exercise focused on the creation of a character carefully devoid of defining traits, so any reader of any age, gender, or background can project themselves into this character.
This is usually written with a first or second person point of view, and works better in short stories, because it is extremely hard to mantain a blank character blank and at the same time make them engaging in a long story.
Smut stories of this kind are amusingly tricky; kudos to the writers who manage to balance explicit sex and vage gender.
A perfect fic of this kind is extremely hard, requires a lot of thinking and the result (by design) is a bland pasive character without background, who makes little to no decisions, but the other characters pop and shine.
The style difference is that y/n expects the reader to add their name explicitly. The forms of address here are more direct and natural, but it is also blunt, and seeing one's name can take some readers out of the experience.
Meanwhile X reader has a more oblique approach. It avoids any mention of any name, it relies more on terms of endearment (or insults), which make the dialogue less natural unless it's written masterfully.
(also x reader is quite focused on shipping while y/n usually has a little more room for gen and non shipping content, but both are strongly shipping oriented so that is a minor thing)
With the rise of neopronouns and the neutral "they", the use of (female reader) and (male reader) has gone down and most writers try to make gender neutral characters. (Not to be confused with non-binary characters despite the common pronouns)
Self-insert
is different, because while in the previous one we deal with a neutral version of the reader, now we find a fictional, non-neutral version of the author. This may be accurate to the author's life or a complete fabrication of the author. They may choose to give their insert their hobbies, or their sickness, or their looks... Maybe even their name. Maybe just the version of themselves they wish to be.
Most characters have at least a smidge of the author in them. This is the same but crancked up to 11. A self insert usually has a LOT of personality and opinions because the author has a very easy access to this character's traits.
It can be written in any form, but the most common are (used to be) first and third person. This is changing because self inserts got the mary sue treatment, so now I've read second person self inserts (ex. Of one of tjose blurred lines (On a x reader fic) "I was on my period so I wrote this to feel better, because I want someone to treat me like [canon character] treats the reader")
OCs (Original Caracters)
This is the kind of character creation with least restrictions, but it also requires a lot of work. X reader and y/n are an excercise in restrain, an exercise in moving the story stepping around the information about the protagonist.
Here is where you need to think of all the little details that make a character tick. Why did they end in this situation? If I make them wear glasses, how will this impact the story? Does this character have a background that will make them crumble when faced with this situation? Or flourish?
The more a self-insert deviates from the author, the closest it gets to being an OC (although truth be told, all self-inserts are just a flavor of OC). And in the same sense, the more fleshed-out a y/n, the closer it gets to being an OC.
(Mary Sue
A term that shouldn't concern you, keep writing.)
*****
So if you find yourself writing a x reader or a y/n and your character uses a binder, has freckles, has family drama, has a background, hates lettuce, comes from Florida, gets catcalled often and hates it, dropped school because of stress, is autistic, has a childhood scar, has a trauma with blades, is young, is fat, has glasses... you have an OC.
It just needs a name. You did all the right steps to create a character that most readers won't be able to cleanly project into, but that they will relate to and love because they have an actual personality, charisma, flaws, and participate actively in the story.
It happens! You start writing an empty character and then they come to life and demand to speak and do thinks and be a protagonist instead of a recipient of things that happen to it.
It's the natural evolution of quite a few characters in literature, and it is the reason why I said y/n and x reader are better suited for short stories.
Keep writing your OCs, your reader inserts, your author inserts, just keep writing. I want to read it all.
This is just food for thought, because maybe you have worked very hard in a character, and you deserve to know you have done a great job doing something much more difficult than what you set out to do.
#Fanlore#X reader#y/n fanfic#Y/n fics#And if you ever shamed anyone for writing a Mary Sue...#see? See what we get? People will do the same thing but now calling it with another name and pouring the same energy into different categor#Writers were shunned from certain clichés and ways of writing and we are paying the price with these blurred lines#Discussion welcomed
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devlog 19: parallel storytelling, Devlogs are not forever...
The script for TSTW is 21 chapters long. I estimate we’ve reached the point where it kicks into high gear, given the (hopefully) plentiful space i’ve put in to get to know the characters. when draft 1 is done, i’ll be sending it off to my beta readers who’ll let me know the inevitable places where I left things unexplained. but for now it’s moving along well.
Today we’re changing gears slightly. we’re veering away from the world of granular storytelling and instead taking a look at narratives that shine in their simplicity. Last week we talked about figuring out the inventory our characters have in order to determine how they would solve a given problem. this week, we’re figuring out the deal with these two:
Let’s talk about children’s books.
regardless of what age group you’re from, chances are you have a book you were fond of as a kid. for a lot of people it’s something like the hungry hungry caterpillar, or maybe if you’re my brother you’re fond of the french series “Meche au vent” and “Martine”
There is something to be said about how the books you read as a kid influence you as an adult, and that’s why I’m doing this. In the story, Killouette has a book she really likes. Obviously, we need to make that book if we’re going to show it in the story. I love doing this- it’s called mise en abyme and it refers to when there’s a story within the confines of another story. I think it adds a lot of character and life to what’s being said if you bother to put as much effort into the side missions as you do the main quest. Originally i had drawn the image as an unrelated thing, having recently acquired two plushies that I thought looked great together:
and… that’s that right?
right?
so anyways the little lulu show is an animation series produced in canada that aired in 1995 through 1998, based on the comic strip little lulu by Marjorie Henderson Buell.
the arabic dub of the show, very popular among older folk made the rather curious decision to name the show after Lulu and her best friend which is something that gets acquired in translation i would suppose, but works really well for us because then we can name our two characters Loulou and taboush without worrying about copyright, because another company called studio 100 now owns it after having acquired one of the three companies that made the show and god forbid anyone is allowed to have any fun in this awful ecosystem of companies buying each other like stock.
youtube
But yeah, why am I making a children’s book inside another book? well mainly cause i want to, and if everyone is going to reject publishing my books i may as well have fun making them and be experimental. when I spoke about the camera being focused on killouette and her feelings, that’s great but this comes with an unintended side effect: the clarity with which my characters usually voice certain ideas isn’t there anymore. This isn’t the worst thing in the world, not every piece of media needs to have a message behind it. A decent chunk of stories exist out there because they’re fun and for no other reason.
Regardless, one of the ideas at play is the notion of problems being about perception more than they are solutions. we’re applying this specifically to how someone views themselves, so here’s what i came up with:
The story centers around Tabbouch, a stuffed elephant who has lost the button that’s usually attached to his stomach. The exact event that led to him waking up with the button missing is deliberately blurred and the question left unanswered, because that’s the problem that we’re trying to perceive differently, and I think it would be a bad idea bloating such a short story with things that aren’t relevant. Tabbouch is greeted by his friend loulou, a small fairy that looks like a bear and she suggests doing a couple of activities that aren’t going to vibe well with tabbouch cause at this point tabbouch is still really sad about his button being missing. tabbouch leaves loulou and runs into a friend of his who feels down. after cheering them up, tabbouch sees that the world around him is very pretty, feels good about that and by extension himself, concluding that although he still does want to find his button, he can still live without it.
it really doesn’t need to be more complicated than that. no one needs to know why the plushies are sentient or why they conveniently have small stoves… I say this mostly for me. the life of a chronic tryhard is difficult, don't judge me. What's important is that it mirrors what the kids in our story need to do. They have long term problems they can’t immediately address, so the solution is to see the problems immediately in front of them a little bit differently. with that out of the way, we can talk about the thing that makes children’s books shine…
the I L L U S T R A T I O N S
so it should be no secret at this point that I don’t really stick to any one way of drawing:
this one is how i did all of almost home, real ink with digital colors
this one is just linework with a fountain pen
watercolor:
image editing/glitching
special shoutout to MS paint:
there’s more but I don't want to put my entire portfolio in here so we’ll move on. This is good for me because I have the flexibility of figuring out how I want to show these images. I’ll have to fuck around and find out, but off the top of my head here’s a couple of things i’d like to try:
any of the above
scanning the inked linework and coloring the linework itself digitally (maaybe adding large flat areas of color? limited color palette?)
good old watercolor. I can't go wrong with that.
digital rendering with textures (this could allow us to use halftones for example, but comes with the risk of overdoing it. closest example is the very first image in this post)
paper cutouts mixed with real images
I like the idea of having each page be a linocut print, but i don’t have access to that, and i’d need to look into woodblock printing.
for the most part, i’ve figured out most of the stuff that i wanted to for killouette. so the next devlogs won’t be called “devlogs”... they’ll just be called updates. This is because beyond now I don't think I'll have anything too substantial to share since I'll basically be writing and doing set designs. I’d still like to post on Tuesdays, we’ll see.
Updates on tuesdays.
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so. i was lucky enough to see skz at lollapalooza.
my entire body still hurts and my throat is just sore from all the shouting, but lord. i've never been happier about some pain.
i cannot express how wonderful they were. so caring. so passionate. you could absolutely feel their energy and gratitude through their performance, even from the back.
i usually don't move a lot during concerts (although i'm always having the time of my life!), i like soaking in the music and watching intently what the artist worked so hard on. but lollapalooza honestly is a blur.
it was so natural to dance and sing along. honestly, although there was an absurd amount of people, it felt like a safe space where i could care-freely be myself. it just reminded me that beyond the bad apples on social media, the community skz built is at the image of the group- nonjudgmental, all about kindness and, ultimately, music.
i also need to make a quick comment on bangchan- i've always known he's a born leader, of course, everyone does. but seeing his leadership in action during the concert was really different. i've gained so much more respect and appreciation for him, if that's even possible. i've been to a lot of concerts, but i don't think i've ever seen an artist take so much time to ensure the public was safe and anyone feeling sick could be escorted. i know it should be the bare minimum, but he was so genuine and gentle with his worry and kindness, i couldn't help but feel this new found love for him. he also did an amazing job at dealing with such a large crowd and leading the performance overall, still giving every member space to express themselves and hyping them up on stage- he was just everything.
oh, and haven. such an emotional moment. the euphoria we all felt from miroh just being performed. the fireworks. the boys being oh so happy on stage. the crowd dancing around with the biggest smile on their faces. it all felt so safe and comfortable. i wish the kids could've witnessed the scene from the point of view of the public- it was truly magical.
after the end of the concert, as i was walking away from the stage hand in hand with my friend, we saw a little girl with her mom- the image really marked me, for some reason. we shortly talked to them, and this little girl was brought to tears by the moment. the mom was so, so genuinely happy for her daughter, and she also was feeling all this happiness we were sharing from the experience. it made me realize that stray kids makes music for everyone, not just an audience that could turn into full time fans. this performance wasn't just for the little girl who had been dreaming of seeing her idols, it also was for the parents, for the people that didn't know them, for anyone that needed a breath of fresh air after difficult times.
before the concert, i met so many stays. the way we all naturally got along just reminded me of how kind the community skz fostered is. those stays and i went to the eiffel tower at night together and talked for hours, without even knowing each other- it'll be a moment i'll cherish forever.
i have so much more to say, but it's difficult to find the words to describe everything that surrounded this concert. i'm just filled with pride and newfound energy. i've been going through hard times lately, but in those moments, i felt free and at peace.
thank you, stray kids, and thank you stays for being so kind :')
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