#like having her open up emotionally is great but i also want more happier moments without her being so serious

[sukibenders]

One thing that was weird to me in an interview Rick made after the Medusa episode was when, in regards to the changes from the books and how Annabeth instantly figured out where they were, he says around the lines of "Oh she's a daughter of Athena, goddess of wisdom, so why didn't figure this out sooner in the books" or something like that (correct me, politely, if I am wrong). And, to that, while I understand wanting things to be different from the books it's also important to note that isn't it implicitly stated that, in the books, both Percy and Annabeth were under some sort of magical spell that basically had them throwing out basic thinking out the window? And also weren't they literally starving after having little to nothing to eat for hours? And also, again, they were kids! They probably aren't going to figure things out right away no matter how smart, especially when hungry!

#pjo #percy jackson #pjo tv show #pjo tv show critc #like correct me if im wrong about the books bc it's been a minute #but grover was literally warning and struggling to get them away from auntie em's place so they had to be under some spell #and another thing that kind of irks me in the show is how they don't let annabeth be silly all that much #like i enjoy her in the show but i also want to see more of her being flustered and geeking out (thinking back to how she was on the arch) #like having her open up emotionally is great but i also want more happier moments without her being so serious #and if anyone can find that interview with rick pls share bc he didn't have to do annabeth like that #mind you that was the same rhetoric nico had in ttc and percy nearly fed him to wolves bc of it #so watch out rick #annabeth chase

[daily-rayless]

Asch, for the character rant meme ❤️

Oh, absolutely.

Favorite thing about him:

This feels very hard to narrow down. I like the arc of his story. I like how he both mirrors and contrasts Luke. I like that he's dark and often in the wrong. I like that he's soft and wants to come across as cold and rational, but is fundamentally incapable of burying his feelings. I like that he's a loose cannon who sometimes makes mistakes, but then also comes at his enemies from a direction they never saw coming. I love the character growth we get in things like Tales of the Rays, which show him warming up to Luke and becoming happier and his whole personality expanding into something more mature. I always like long implausibly red hair. But I think what really draws me to his character is the tension between him being angry and depressed and disengaged, but still an idealist. He has the potential for heroism, and he never succeeds in killing it -- arguably, he never even wants to kill it. He might think of himself as worthless, and he might say awful things to his loved ones, and he might frown all the way through it, but he keeps doing what he thinks is the right thing. Not the right thing for himself, the right thing.

Least favorite thing about him:

I think there's a reason Abyss adaptations keeping cutting out the scene where Asch controls Luke's body in order to make him attack Tear. Yes, it's a dramatic scene, but when you look at the rest of Asch's personality, it feels jarringly sadistic.

Favorite line:

I'll go with Asch's closing line during Natalia's escape from Baticul: "Luke! One mistake and I will kill you." First off, he does it while standing over an evil general he's just struck down for the sake of his people, check him out, he would actually be a decent royal. Secondly, look at him revealing his love for Natalia, right then and there, in front of a crowd of witnesses. A lot of his lines in that scene do that, and it's great -- a rare moment of Asch being emotionally honest. And tied in with that, he unthinkingly, seriously calls Luke "Luke" -- not replica, but using their shared name. Yes, he's threatening to kill him, but he's not only trusting Luke with his most precious person (Natalia), he's using his own name for Luke -- I feel like, in that moment, Asch trusts and respects Luke in a way he usually doesn't allow himself to -- he finds reasons not to. This is the real Asch in this moment, and this is what his relationship with Luke could really be.

brOTP:

Ginji! I feel like Asch and Ginji seriously bond over the course of the game. Asch doesn't often express it (of course), but by the end of the game, I think they're as close as Luke is to any of his party members. I see Ginji as having a softer, more emotionally open personality, but he's also thick-skinned enough not to take Asch's angry posturing too seriously; he sees past Asch's pretenses to the real him, and I imagine he misses him terribly and has a lot of regrets after the game.

OTP:

Asch and Natalia, it's always Asch and Natalia. I remember my first time playing Abyss, being in Ortion cavern when Natalia thanked Asch for protecting her from the boss monster, and Asch very coldly brushed her off. And my brain just went, Oh wait, hold on...? Does he still...? Is it not just her? Are they both...? And then a few minutes later there was an earthquake and he protectively grabbed her and I haven't looked back once.

nOTP:

This is sort of a yes and no. No, there are no (major) Asch ships that I consider so out there that I can't believe anyone would ship it. (I had to add the "major" because maybe out there there's someone who ships AschMieu.) But at the same time, while I acknowledge that Asch and Natalia can have very interesting ships with other characters, I love them so much together that I tend to never even entertain the possibility. I think for me, one of the most significant things that bothers me in an AschNot-Natalia ship is when writers use it to denigrate Natalia's character. Write her off as unimportant, or even unlikable to Asch. By all means, pair him with someone else, but I don't think you can believably write him as not caring at all about Natalia and finding her awful.

Random headcanon:

He (and Luke) are naturally very musically gifted. Asch is particularly good at the piano and used to play it for his mother when he was a child.

Unpopular opinion:

Hm, I think there are potentially some controversial takes with Asch. I think some fanwriters sometimes err too far on the side of making Asch cool and composed and mature, always in control and aloof compared to the more emotional Luke. This makes him very suave and alpha and unflappable, a bit more of a conventional brooding hero. That's not really the Asch I see. To me, Asch is overflowing with emotions and often not good at hiding it. There's footage of the stage play rehearsals showing their Asch actor releasing a primal scream, and I don't know why he's doing that, but whatever his reasons, that feels closer to Asch.

Song I associate with them:

Something edgy and forceful would be right, but let's go with his softer side and say "Lonely Lullaby" by Owl City. It's always made me think of Asch, and all through writing The Stars Are Fire, I had my eye out for an opportunity for Asch to sing Natalia to sleep -- never happened though.

Favorite picture of them:

Excuse me, let me go search my files.

Okay, I limited this to art that's just of Asch, no one else, and while a lot of his official art is unintentionally hilarious (I have a dedicated tag), I've always liked this shot from the anime:

Hair is down, he's super moody, and having him leap onto the side of the moving Tartarus is a much more dynamic way to end the scene than in the original game.

Thanks for the ask! I always love talking about Asch.

Meme taken from here.

#asch the bloody #tales #tales of the abyss #tales of the abyss spoilers #meta #caffeinatedpoltergeist

[naughtyneganjdm]

A Compromise - Chapter 10

Summary: After her night with Negan, Y/N finds herself falling fast for him which makes her question all the things she felt before.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC)

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, parental abuse, etc. 

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834154/chapters/84581761

Notes: Thanks to anyone who reads this for sticking around. I'm sorry real life has been so busy that this has taken me a while. I promise I will have the next chapter up soon!

There wasn’t a lot of things in life that surprised Y/N, but the way that she was feeling right now…that surprised her. After her night with Negan, that’s all she could think about. God, it was incredible. No one had ever gone so out of their way for her like Negan had. With Negan, she felt special. She felt on top of the world and nothing felt like it would bring her down. No one ever accomplished to make her feel that way.

While they were stopped at a red light, Negan’s right hand was settled on her knee and it made her smile. Stretching out her fingers, she curled them around Negan’s and squeezed them tightly within her grasp. Lifting her gaze to Negan, she could see that he was staring over at her. The way he looked at her warmed her heart. There was something in the way that Negan looked at her that made her feel like the only woman in the world. It was a feeling she never knew she craved. All she could keep thinking about was how unbelievable the last day had actually been for her.

It made her sad that they were almost home, but it also made her excited for their future adventures together. Never in her life did she ever think she would feel this way for someone. Being wrapped up so incredibly much by someone would have scared her in the past. Whenever she looked at Negan, her heart fluttered and everything in the world felt right.

There must have been something in the way she was staring at him that gave away she was deep in thought. It made a smirk press in over Negan’s lips and his eyebrows bounced. When he grinned at her, she felt her cheeks flush over and she turned her gaze away from him.

Without saying anything, Negan lifted her up hand up lazily to bring it to his mouth to deposit a faint kiss over the back of it. When her eyes connected with his again, he smiled one of those ridiculously charming smiles. One of those big toothy grins that brought attention to those already so gorgeous dimples. Nothing made her swoon more than those dimples she so often found herself staring at. It was strange how often Negan smiled, but damn it…she loved it. His smiles were contagious.

When Negan gave her a wink, it made her think about the person that she used to be. That part of her was still there and it wanted her to regret her decisions she made with him. It wanted her to think that the emotions and feeling she was having for Negan were wrong, but she didn’t. For so long she had this image of a stereotype of the kind of woman that she needed to be. Constantly in the past, her parents dug in this idea to her that with her career, she couldn’t have love. School and the career came first. It was a constant reminder that had be repeated to her time and time again. It just became a rule for her, but maybe Negan was right. The expectations her parents had for her were unrealistic. They thought that her having a relationship with someone would have her throwing her life away. But with Negan, she didn’t feel like that would ever happen. What was better than having everything she wanted while also having someone who cared for her like Negan did? Wasn’t the best of both worlds a good thing? Even at her best with school, she never felt this happy. With Negan’s support emotionally she felt like she could take on the world while still being happy about it. She genuinely felt that she could achieve greatness with Negan’s help. Now, she didn’t feel alone.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? You’re either really deep in thought or…?” Negan tried to read her and she realized that she must have been so lost within herself for him to notice. “You keep staring at me a certain way and it’s making me wonder if something is wrong or I have something in my teeth.”

“No, I just am trying to determine if you are something my conscience came up with in order to make me a happier person or if you’re actually real,” she answered almost in a teasing tone, but often she wondered if this was some kind of daydream she came up with. Negan was too good to be true.

Reaching for her hand, Negan placed it over the center of his chest to let her feel the steady heartbeat beneath her fingertips, “Does that feel real enough for you?”

“I look at you and you are the realest thing I’ve ever had in my whole life,” she explained and her answer made him chuckle. What she just said to Negan, that was something in the past she would have rolled her eyes at hearing. If someone would have said that she would have thought the person saying it was stupid. But being with Negan, she understood it now. How fast she was falling for Negan probably wasn’t good. It was just something she couldn’t help. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around why someone like you would want someone like me.”

“I just do. I think you’re perfect,” Negan insisted trying to keep his attention on the road when he thought of what to say to her. The light turned green and he quiet for a moment, trying to gather his own thoughts. “I’m the one with the baggage. I’m just lucky that you finally decided to give this whole dating thing a chance between the two of us.”

“It’s hard to tell you no. You were so damn persistent and I’m glad that I did do this,” she declared with a proud smile thinking about the night that they shared together. “You…you’re incredible.”

“Is that your way of saying you liked the sex?” Negan teased her with a wrinkle of his nose, giving her a quick glance with his mischievous hazel eyes. A small chuckle fell from her throat and he watched her cheeks flush over.

“Obviously,” she felt him pat her on the thigh before caressing over it. A shuddering breath fell from her throat with the closeness of him and she bit down on her bottom lip. It was insane how fast her body reacted to just a simple touch from Negan. “I guess I should be worried if the sex sucked for you since I’m the one that doesn’t have as much experience.”

“Last night wasn’t about the sex. It was about the two of us trusting each other. It was us connecting on a level that shows we’re open to something more. It was something a little bit more than just sex,” Negan stated with a long sigh and she squeezed tightly to his fingers loving to hear him say something like that. “Last night was beautiful.”  

“Are you saying you made love to me Negan?” she inquired knowing that’s where is sounded like his comment was going. It almost looked like it embarrassed Negan when she asked him that and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“I guess that depends on if me saying that creeps you out or not. If you are open to the idea, yeah, we made love under the stars,” Negan suggested, his right eyebrow arching when he stole a quick glance at her. “If the idea of me making love to you creeps you out, then no…it was just something more than sex.”

“You’re adorable. You know that?” she was in awe of him being nervous while he talked about them making love. When all of this started with Negan, this wasn’t a version of him that she thought she would ever see. She didn’t know why, but their first few interactions made her think their encounters would be like some cheesy porno film. “First you come at me originally acting like this sexual deviant that is going to fuck my brains out and make me hate the day that I met you, but you’re really this gigantic teddy bear that just wants to be loved.”

“Can I at least be a gigantic sexy teddy bear that is really good at sex, but still wants to be loved?” Negan’s face twisted and it made her laugh upon hearing him ask of that. Negan had an image and she could tell that. Negan probably was often that sexually hungry person that she was talking about, but with her it seemed things were different.  

“Yes, you can be my sexy teddy bear,” she agreed to it and Negan’s deep raspy laugh filled the car. “You’re also my extremely sexy sugar daddy.”

“In public I’ll be that, but between the two of us…I’m your teddy bear,” Negan winked as he pulled into the driveway to his home. When the car turned off, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure that her parents weren’t there to see them if she got out. Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers noticing the anxious expression over her face. “What happens the day that your parents find out that we’re dating? It’s going to happen eventually. I’m surprised they haven’t noticed you sneaking over here to be with me.”

“I’d rather not think about that right now,” she explained with a frown. “It has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them. My dad will not handle it very well. Trust me.”

“I think your parents need to stop treating you like a teenager. You are in your final year of undergraduate school. You should be able to date who you want without your parents getting involved,” Negan pointed out and he could see the way she tilted her head to the side. It was obvious in the way she always got nervous at the idea of her parents seeing them together that her parents still scared her. They ran her life for so long that she was just nervous about how they would react to things. “I know your parents have controlled you most of your life, but you’re a big girl. Who you are dating is none of their business.”

“I know, but…” she went to respond and Negan reached out to stroke over the side of her face with his rough fingertips. Drawing her to him, Negan’s lips meshed in over hers and instead of worrying if her parents would see them she kissed Negan back. Parting her lips, she allowed his tongue to brush up against hers and whimpered when he did it.

“Life gets a lot better when you stop worrying about what everyone else will think of you,” Negan slurred against her lips when he pulled away enough to stare into her eyes. “You are your own woman. You’re perfect. You’re beautiful and you are a badass. Anything you put your mind to, I promise you can achieve. You don’t have to worry about them anymore.”

“God, where were you all my life?” she reached up to brush her fingers through Negan’s dark hair. If she had someone like him in her life before, she knew without a doubt that she would have had more confidence in herself. Her parents were always in the back of her mind, but if she would have met Negan sooner maybe a lot of the negative emotions she was going through right now would have never existed.

“Come on baby, I’m hungry,” Negan deposited a quick kiss over her lips before getting out of the car. Quickly, Negan moved around the car to help her out before leading her toward the house. When Negan got through the door, she pushed him into the house and then slammed him against the wall. A grunt fell from Negan’s throat when he felt her pulling at the belt in his pants. “What are you doing?”

“I still never got to give you that blowjob that you won in the game of laser tag,” she reminded him and an amused smirk pressed in over Negan’s features. With an arrogant bob of his head, Negan reached for her hands and he shook his head. A hushing sound fell from his lips when she gave him a frown. “What now?”

“I don’t want us to be one of those couples. I don’t want us to just have sex all the time,” Negan answered her with a loud sigh. “We’ll still have sex, but I want us to be more than this Y/N. Plus, I told you. I’m hungry.”

“You’re still holding that sex over me, huh?” she bawled up the material of Negan’s shirt at the center of his chest and let out a disappointed breath. Shaking his head, Negan kept his hazel eyes locked on hers and smiled. “Here I was thinking that was all over now that we were together.”

“I’m still going to pamper my beautiful girl,” Negan curled his finger in underneath her chin to lift her gaze to his. Tipping down, he teased his lips over hers and a wicked smile pressed over his handsome features. “I just want to make things special because you deserve nothing, but the best.”

“Which is you. You’re the best,” she tipped up on her toes to bring their lips together so they could kiss. Negan hummed in approval before brushing her hair back behind her ear. “But I guess I can honor your wishes and keep my hands to myself for now.”

“Good girl,” Negan snickered, reaching for her hand to lead her toward the kitchen. “I’m thinking I want waffles this morning. What do you think?”

“Sounds good,” she followed him into the kitchen while he made her sit down so he could pamper her and make her breakfast.

It was hard not to stare and admire him while he went out of his way for her. No one would ever go this above and beyond for her. So the fact that Negan did really surprised her. It was something that was easy to get used to, but it wasn’t something that she expected. After sleeping with Negan, she knew she was falling and potentially too fast.

After they slept together, she had automatically assumed that things would have been strange between them, but it really wasn’t. Negan was exactly the same and that was a good thing. He was very sweet, caring and like he was before. Instead of being distanced, which she pictured could have happened, he wasn’t. There was a fear that she would have felt uncomfortable about their relationship, but she didn’t. She just felt more in awe of him which surprised her all the more.

When she had lost her virginity before Negan, she was repulsed with herself for having sex and hated the person that she did it with. After sleeping with Negan, she felt closer to him and didn’t hate that it didn’t bother her. Things were moving fast between them, but it felt right.

They had their breakfast and afterwards shared a shower together, but Negan stood his ground when it came to the no sex. She was allowed to touch Negan, but it was hard not wanting to be with Negan. Being with him felt good. The attention he gave her and the passion they shared together felt better than anything she had ever experienced.

While she wanted to have sex again with Negan, she also enjoyed just getting to spend time with him. With most people she found herself bored being around them. Maybe that made her an asshole, but she didn’t care. A lot of people didn’t keep her interest. With him, it was easy to be able to enjoy being with him. Getting to learn more about his past and him in general appealed to her.

Their day just consisted of them doing random odds and ends together. They just relaxed. They watched television. They talked about their lives. Had dinner and at the end of the night they were headed to bed together. Before they could finish getting ready for bed though, Negan had gotten a call from Sam who wanted to talk to him before going to sleep.

Negan was sitting on the corner of the bed talking with Sam and Y/N sat watching the way Negan reacted to talking to his niece. She got a kick out of the fact that her boyfriend’s best friend was his twelve-year-old niece. Sam had called when they were getting ready for bed, so Negan didn’t get to change into pajamas, but Y/N had. This was something special about Negan. His niece meant everything to him and she loved that about him.

“I’m not lying to you,” Negan snickered, giving Y/N a glance over his shoulder and he made a dramatic expression. “She told me herself that she liked the whole thing. You weren’t wrong in suggesting taking her to the place. Why would I lie to you? We went on the air balloon after and then laid under the stars the rest of the night.”

When Negan laughed, Y/N was charmed with the whole interaction. The fact he would talk about her to his niece really touched her heart. Considering his niece was very special to him and she knew that his family knowing about her was a big deal.

“Yes dear,” Negan pulled the phone from his ear and held it out toward Y/N. Her eyes surveyed the phone wondering what Negan wanted. “She doesn’t believe me, so she wants to talk to you herself. I don’t get why she thinks I would lie about something like that, but…”

Once she grabbed the phone from Negan, he dramatically threw his hands up in the air with a shrug and headed for his dresser to pull out some pajama pants. When he headed toward the bathroom, her eyes followed his movements. Talking to Sam was a bit daunting, but she wasn’t about to say no considering who it was.

“Hello?” she found herself stretching out to watch Negan further while he pulled his shirt from his body and her throat went dry watching him.

“Holy shit, you really are there!” Sam’s amused voice filled the other side of the phone and it made Y/N laugh hearing it. “I don’t know why, I just kind of felt like he might have been lying to me so that way I didn’t feel bad for him.”

“Why would he do that?” she questioned, her nose wrinkling when she turned her attention away from the bathroom when she heard Sam say that.

“I worry him about him being alone and sometimes I just thought he was telling me things to make me not worry as much about him. Things weren’t exactly the best for him after Aunt Lucille died, so to hear that you two are having fun and super happy just…I don’t know, I guess it makes me happy,” Sam explained and it made a warmth flood Y/N’s chest when she thought about what Negan’s niece was saying. “It’s the first time I’ve heard him sound happy in a long time. So, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me kiddo. I should be thanking you,” she proclaimed seeing that Negan moved to the door to watch her while he brushed his teeth. He was leaning against the door shirtless and in his pajama pants while she talked to Sam. “It was apparently your idea to go to that place we went first and that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

“Even after playing laser tag?” Sam teased making Y/N chuckle when she thought back to how seriously Negan took the game. “He gets kind of intense about that whole game. Try having him take you and your friends to play laser tag. At this point, I just always say it’s going to be me and him against everyone. Most of my friends will laugh because they think they are going to kill us. They don’t realize he's my secret weapon. After we absolutely crush them, they never want to play again with us.”

“Yeah, he is a bit of laser tag pro,” she admitted hearing Negan snort before heading back into the bathroom to continue to brush his teeth, “but I had a lot of fun with it. I can’t recall the last time that I had as much fun with anyone compared to the fun I’ve had with Negan.”

“That makes me happy to hear,” Sam admitted with a tired yawn and it made Y/N smirk. Taking a glance at the time, she knew it was late and wondered how late Sam’s mothers allowed her to be up. “I heard you weren’t a fan of the air balloon, but you liked the laying under the stars together?”

“The idea of falling out of the air balloon terrified me, yes,” Y/N recalled and it made Sam giggle on the other end. “I just kept picturing myself as a pancake and yeah, that was not my bravest moment. I tell you that. But the night under the stars was very romantic and I enjoyed it a lot.”

“It sounds romantic,” Sam confessed with another yawn and Y/N heard on the other end of the phone what she assumed to be one of Sam’s mothers urging her to go to sleep. Sam grumbled and obviously didn’t like being told what to do. “So when am I going to spend some time with the two of you again?”

“Well, I’m comfortable with you coming over any time you want. I think Negan and I will be spending more time together and I would have so much more fun going to the place we did with you I think,” she stated knowing that she had told Negan the same thing the day before, but it was true. “I think you would be able to probably help me when it came to the whole laser tag thing. Us girls against him.”

“Yeah, we’d like to think so, but he’d still kill us,” Sam giggled making Y/N laugh when Sam said it the way she did. Again one of Sam’s mothers was yelling at her to go to bed. Sam called out something and then came back to the phone. “But I would love to do that with the two of you! It was nice talking to you Y/N, but would you be okay with giving Negan the phone back? I have to say goodnight before I get grounded for being up too late on the phone. My mom is having a freak attack.”

“Sure thing kiddo. It was nice talking with you,” Y/N snapped her fingers to get Negan’s attention when he finished up brushing his teeth. “Sam wants to say goodnight. Her mom wants her off the phone or she’s going to get in trouble.”

“That would be Jane,” Negan informed her with a grunt and a roll of his eyes. When Negan said the name, she recalled all the information Sam fed her when she was here the first time. Elaina was Lucille’s sister and she was the calm on. Jane was the uptight mother that they spoke about. When Negan accepted the phone, she got comfortable in the bed and watched Negan pace. “Goodnight kiddo. I love you. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye honey.”

When he hung up, he turned to face Y/N and he could see the way that she was staring at him with a smirk, “What?”

“The two of you are just cute,” she insisted and cuddled her head in closer to the pillow. Negan turned the lights off and crawled in over her on the bed. Reaching for her wrists, Negan pinned them down beside her head while he hooked his fingers with hers. “I just think it’s charming you are like this tattooed, badass looking guy and your best friend is a twelve-year-old.”

“Well, that’s your first mistake. Sam is quite the badass herself. I wouldn’t fuck with that little girl,” Negan warned with a playfulness in his tone while he smiled down at her. Hovering his lips over hers, Negan teased her with the hints of a kiss, but didn’t allow her one. “I’m not embarrassed to have a twelve-year-old be my best friend.”

“You shouldn’t be, it’s adorable,” she lifted up to try and kiss Negan, but he pulled back enough to let out a snort when she whined. “The two of you together are something people wish they could have with their own kids.”

“Right,” Negan’s smile slowly faded and he swallowed down hard before biting into his bottom lip. “So you haven’t had any changes in your decisions with dating me? I was kind of waiting the first forty-eight hours to make sure you didn’t have a panic attack over this whole thing.”

“I should be having a panic attack, but nope,” she noticed that Negan allowed one of her hands to be released and she reached up to trace her fingers over the side of his masculine face. “I’m very much happy with the decision that I made.”

“Me too,” Negan slurred, finally lowering down to delicately trace his lips over hers. It caused her to shudder and over time the kiss got more passionate. Hooking her fingers into Negan’s hair, she felt him getting more comfortable over her and his tired eyes looked her over when they finally parted. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she gave him a wink and it made him smirk. Peppering a few final kisses over her lips, Negan took his time to stare at her under him. There was something in the way he looked at her that gave her chills. Adjusting his weight, Negan dropped down beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist when she turned onto her side. Grunting, he realized he hadn’t turned off the light that was beside the bed. Lifting up, he outstretched his arm and tugged at the light to get it turned off.

Getting comfortable for bed was so much easier than it was before. Most nights, all it took for her to fall asleep was Negan wrapping her up in his arms and she was out like a light. Being with him she felt comfortable and safe. It felt amazing being wrapped up in his arms, but while she liked this…her mind was other places. Like where they were the night before. Biting into her bottom lip, she thought about what it felt like to have Negan inside of her and making love to her. It was a sensation that she craved again. It was drawing her to have goosebumps just at the thought of it. While she knew that Negan said he didn’t want to focus on sex, she couldn’t help yearning for just another time between them. Being this close to him had her body on fire.

Knowing that she promised to try to keep her hands to herself, she pulled her hips a bit forward. The warmth radiating from his body behind her was definitely having its effects on her. With Negan’s deep breaths filling the air, it was obvious that he had fallen asleep already. Which made her to cuss to herself because she wished he may have been having the same reaction to this that she was. Closing her eyes, she attempted to force herself to think about something different. She counted. Hell, that wasn’t working. Sucking at her bottom lip, she thought of trying to think of school things to help her, but that wasn’t helping either. Nothing was. This wasn’t exactly something she could control.

Oh hell. What was the worst that could happen? Negan could tell her no and then she would be forced to cool it?

Looking over her shoulder, she watched Negan sleeping, but her promiscuous side was getting the best of her. Sliding her hips back, she purposely brushed her bottom in over his groin and hummed to herself when she did it. Taking things slow at first, she took her time rocking her bottom over him. Watching his reactions over her shoulder while he slept was turning her on all the more. Originally, she wondered if Negan was even going to wake up. He wasn’t lying when he told her that he was tired. Yet, his body was reacting to her movements. The sound of his breathing hitched and she felt him tense up behind her when he finally woke up.

Instead of fighting with her, he stayed still and she wondered if he was attempting to pretend that he was still sleeping. Pushing harder back against him, she heard a growl escape his throat and his head lowered down to press a kiss against the side of her neck.

“You are relentless,” Negan slurred while she continued to rub herself up against him. The pressure she was using was much harder than that of what she started with. Sliding his palm in over the side of her hip drew him to moan when she ground back harder against him. “You were going to do this until you got what you wanted. Huh?”

“I’m good like that,” she turned her head so Negan’s lips could brush over hers. With his mouth eagerly covering hers, she knew that she could feel his cock hard against her ass while she took no time in continuing to draw herself back against him.  Cooing into Negan’s mouth when his tongue brushed between her lips, she knew that this was probably a battle she was winning which excited her. Gasping, she felt Negan’s hands tugging roughly at the material of her pajama pants while still keeping her on her side in front of him. The material stuck a bit, but Negan was determined to get them low enough to where he wanted.

“I think you’re very fucking naughty if you ask me,” Negan rumbled, pulling his lips from hers while nipping seductively at her bottom lip. She let him move her where he wanted on the bed. They were both on their sides, facing away from each other, but she was eager to move in whatever way he wanted her. Roughly, he pulled her hips back as close to him as he could. His masculinity was obvious beneath the material of his pajamas as it pressed against her bottom, but that’s not what he was focusing on. His arm curled around her hips, urging one of her thighs up just enough so he could caress his rough fingertips over her clitoris. “I think you need to be punished. Here I am trying to sleep and get some rest. You just won’t allow that, will you?”

“Negan,” she whimpered out his name feeling his fingers tracing the length of her body before thrusting one of his long, slender digits firmly into her body. Her eyes slammed shut when Negan inserted a second. Over and over again he thrust them inside of her, curling his fingers just right to hit the perfect spot. The friction from his palm rubbing over her clitoris was causing her thighs to twitch. Crying out, Negan seemed to nip harder at her jawline and she clutched tightly to his pajama pants. “Negan!”

“Nope,” Negan pulled his fingers away from her body, his thick laughter teasing against the side of her neck when he denied her an orgasm. A whine escaped her throat and he let out a proud sound. “You won’t let me sleep. I won’t let you cum.”

“Please,” she panted, reaching for his hand to try to lead it back toward her core again. “I’m sorry.”

“You like daddy’s long fingers inside of you?” Negan questioned and she immediately nodded. The warmth of his breath against the back of her neck caused her to shudder. A chill ran down her spine and hearing him talk like that sent a flooding warmth to her core. “Say it.”

“I love daddy’s fingers inside of me,” she repeated what he wanted to hear and soon enough his fingers were back inside of her, pumping away. Shuddering when Negan’s warm breath pressed in over her ear, she kept her eyes closed and listened to his loud breathing. Occasionally he would nibble at her earlobe, her jawline, her neck…little places that would drive her absolutely wild while he pleasured her with his fingers.

“Do you like the way that feels baby? Do you like daddy pampering you?” Negan slurred against her earlobe before pressing a teasing kiss over her flesh. “Do you want to cum all over daddy’s fingers?”

“Yes!” she cried out, her head falling back and resting against his collarbone when a flood of warmth filled her body. Reaching down to grasp at Negan’s wrist, she knew that she was desperate. Tensing up, she wanted to chase after the orgasm that he was building up inside of her, but a loud whimper escaped her throat when he pulled his fingers from her again. Negan was working her right up to the point where she was about to cum only to stop. “What the hell Negan?”

“I told you that you were a bad girl that needed to be punished,” Negan reminded her, lifting his fingers up to his lips to look them over. A wicked smirk pressed in over his tired, handsome features before he took the tips of them between his lips. Sucking at them in a seductive manner made her moan just at the sight while she stared back at him over her shoulder. Reaching back, she tugged at his hair to get him closer to her so her mouth could meet his and he hummed against her lips. “Do you want to have that orgasm baby?”

“So bad,” she purred when his tongue swept at the inside of her bottom lip which drew her to shake against him.

“Then you have to work for it,” Negan bucked his hips forward against her bottom and she cried out knowing that her body was already shaking in his arms with him spooning her from behind. “You can do whatever you want, you just can’t leave the position you are in now.”

“I can do whatever I want? That means I can use you in whatever way I please?” she excitedly tried to gather the details. Her response made an amused smirk tug at his lips when she looked over her shoulder at him. Nodding once, she let out a shuddering breath trying to determine how she was going to get things the way she wanted. “I just have to stay on my side?”

“Yes baby girl,” Negan growled, nipping at her jawline when she reached back to grab at his pajama pants. Dipping her hand beneath the waistband, her palm wrapped around Negan’s solid cock and she unhurriedly traced her fingers over his length. When she reached the tip, she felt the precum collecting at the tip and it made her smile. “You like that?”

“You know I do,” she purred with the warmth of his breath at the side of her neck. Releasing his erection, she attempted to pull the material down his hips with her free hand. When she was having trouble, Negan lifted his hips to help her. Getting the material just down below his hips, she bit at her bottom lip while stealing a glance behind her. The length of his masculinity traced over her bottom and she eagerly reached back to grasp at his body again. His thick cock was completely solid. The veins were prominent and she was in awe of him. “You know, you clearly want this just as bad as I do?”

“Oh, he does for sure. Me, I was sleeping,” Negan snicked, nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck when she led the tip of his erection to tease it over her most intimate parts. It drew his eyes to close and he grunted. “Now that I’m awake, of course I want what he wants.”

“I thought so,” she was amused with his reaction, licking at her lips while she traced the head of his cock through her wet folds. “I hope you realize the control you gave me here. Full control of this big guy.”  

“Condom first,” Negan pointed toward the nightstand after opening his eyes and she immediately shook her head. Snapping his fingers, he winced when she continued to tease him over the length of her body. “What do you mean no?”

“You just said I can do what I want with you, but I can’t leave the position I’m in. I want you inside of me like this,” she slurred and Negan’s eyes narrowed, his pupils dilating with desire. The way he was looking at her made chills run down her spine. “Are you going to go back on your own rules?”

“Touché,” Negan grumbled, his tongue clicking against the top of his mouth while keeping his stare locked on hers. “I guess I can’t go back on my word now, can I? What kind of man would that make me?”

Dragging her tongue over her bottom lip, she chuckled before lining up the root to his masculinity with her entrance. Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat when she pushed her hips back over him making him immediately moan upon her warmth surrounding him. A gasp fell from her throat when she pushed her hips further back over his hard cock taking maybe a little more of him than she was prepared for. She was wet enough, but that didn’t change the fact he was still big.  

“Fuck me…” Negan groaned from behind her and she looked over her shoulder to see that he was glancing down between them to see his length sinking into her. His palm reached down to squeeze at her bottom and she took notice of the way he was breathing. A surprised sound fell from her throat when he swatted playfully at her bottom. “That’s essentially what you’re going to do, right? Fuck yourself with my cock?”

“Yes,” she didn’t have much of a smart remark when Negan’s hand snaked up and around her to caress up underneath her shirt to squeeze at her full breast. He gave her permission, so essentially, that’s exactly what she was going to do. Lifting enough, she helped Negan pull her shirt from her body and the cool air around them caused her to tremor.

It took a minute for her to get accustomed to him. While she wanted to tell herself she could jump right into this, this was still the second time she had slept with Negan and she had to ease herself into things. Get used to the fullness that she was feeling with him inside of her.  

“Do you like the way that tight, wet pussy feels?” she used her dirty talk, making his eyes raise up to her and his lips were agape. The sound of his loud breathing filled the air around them. While the first time was more romantic and was them making love, this was very much a dirtier experience between them. “Much better than it did with that condom, right?”

“You are so fucking naughty,” Negan slurred with a wrinkle of his nose and he pressed his head in closer to her. Adjusting behind her, Negan pressed himself up against her back which led a significant amount of his cock to be buried deep inside of her. “Fuck.”

“Negan,” she reached for his thigh to dig her fingers into the warmth of his flesh. Crying out, she took in the sensation of him filling her and she never realized how much she would actually enjoy it.  Negan bit at her jawline, his growl falling from his throat when her hand caressed down his thigh. There wasn’t much movement between them yet, but just having him inside of her felt amazing. “You feel so good.”

With an uneasiness, she rolled her hips back and took him further into her before pulling her hips forward. The sound that Negan make drew chills to fill her entire body and while she wasn’t exactly sure how to do this right in this positioning, she was finding the way that things felt good for her. Negan wasn’t lying when he told her that she had to work for it. He wasn’t moving other than keeping his hand settled in over her hip while kissing over her jawline.

“Fuck,” Negan grunted when she found a movement that seemed to work for the both of them. Clutching to Negan’s thigh and using her grasp at the side of the bed helped her rock herself over his cock. “Damn baby girl you really want that orgasm, don’t you?”

The smacking of their skin filled the air and Negan’s faint moans were in tune with her cries while she used his body in the best way she could in the position that they were in. Nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck, Negan grunted against her flesh and it made her tremble. She wished the rules weren’t that she had to stay in this position, but she was making the most use of it that she could.

“You really wanted that dick,” Negan chuckled feeling his body tensing up and he looked down to watch her body sink down over his length down to the base and then pull up repeatedly. It was surprising how well she took him with it just being her second time with him. “Fuck…fucking…”

A whine escaped her parted lips when Negan nipped at her sensitive flesh. The warmth from her movements started radiating into her belly and flooded its way out through the rest of her, “please Negan…”

“You’re almost there,” Negan encouraged her noticing that she was shaking while her fingertips dug into his flesh. Noticing that she was slowing down, Negan started bucking his hips forward to meet her thrusts back onto his erection. Each movement had her mewling out in delight until he felt her tight walls contracting around him. When she clearly reached her orgasm, she went to pull her hips away from him in a moment of pure ecstasy, but Negan kept her where she was so he could experience her orgasm around his cock. “There you go…good girl.”

After allowing her a moment to come down from the high of her orgasm, Negan kept her where she was while pampering her with kisses over her neck and over her jawline. A gasp fell from her throat when Negan pulled his body from hers and then pinned her underneath him. A thin layer of sweat covered Negan’s body and his arrogant smile expanded over his features. Negan’s wet hair was in his eyes and a whine fell from her throat when his flesh smacked up against hers. One fluid thrust and he was inside of her completely, filling her to the brim. “One time sleeping with me and you’re already addicted to my cock.”

A crack of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips as Negan reached for her legs to put them over his shoulders. With his rough palms settling in over her bottom, she whimpered when he started thrusting into her again and again. Tossing her head back, she knew that her body was already so sensitive that it wouldn’t take much for Negan to get her to another orgasm. With the friction of his groin smacking up against her clitoris and his thick body stretching her in ways she never felt before, it had her crying out in absolute bliss. Tossing her head back, she reached for Negan’s wrists and wrapped her fingers tightly around them.

“Negan,” she cried out his name, opening her eyes enough to see that Negan was smiling as her body started to shake when he got her to another orgasm in no time. That was the look of a proud man. He knew he caused it and fuck he was cocky, but she loved it. Her second orgasm was intensified and it left her breathless.

Lowering her legs, Negan pressed in over her and she desperately clung to his shoulders. Kissing at the side of his neck, she felt his powerful movements over her and she was surprised just how good this felt with him too. It was definitely something she would have to get used to, but her body liked it and it liked it a lot. Negan was big and she felt it. Especially today. Dragging her right hand up, she sank her fingers into Negan’s hair. The breaths escaping Negan’s throat became more desperate and soon they became pants.

“I’m almost there,” he alerted her, his nose nuzzling against the side of her neck. With his groans vibrating against the side of her neck, she dragged her nails down his back which drew him to wince. Cupping his bottom in her palm, she appreciated the flesh flexing and relaxing beneath her touch while he pounded up against her. “Shit.”

In a hurry, he pulled his hips back to leave her with an empty feeling. The warmth from his release covered her lower abdomen while she clung tightly to him, not ready to let him go. Negan buried his nose against the side of her neck, his loud breathing causing chills to fill her entire body. The room was spinning around her and she felt like she was in a state of euphoria. What Negan had brought her to was absolute bliss. Her heart was pounding away inside of her chest. Everything was tingling and she ached, but God it felt good.  

Negan lowered in over her, cuddling his head against her shoulder while he caught his breath and she found herself stroking her fingers at the bottom of his neck teasing at the short curls of hair that were there, “Thank you.”

Pulling back just enough to look down at her, his nose wrinkled and he laughed, “Did you just thank me?”

“I sure as fuck did,” she confidently answered before tugging his mouth to hers while kissing him enthusiastically. Nibbling at his bottom lip, she took her time to enjoy the warmth of him over her and she shook her head. “I ache, but I feel so good.”

“You’re welcome?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched up and he snickered against her lips. Motioning her to wait, he got up from the bed and reached for the tissues that were on the dresser. When he returned, he sat on the edge of the bed. Taking a look at her abdomen lowering and rising made him smile. Reaching out, he traced his fingers over her ribs and it made her giggle when he did it. “You wiggle too much.”

“Sorry, I’m ticklish,” she apologized and it made Negan smirk. Taking his time, he took a few tissues and cleaned his release from her body. When he was tossing the tissues in the trash beside the bed, she reached out to squeeze her fingers around his thigh. “You didn’t have to pull out, you know.”

Telling him that made him smirk and his eyes looked her over while she was laid out in the center of his bed. Tracing his fingers from her inner hip, up toward her abdomen and between her breasts made a whimper escape her lips. Arching up toward him, she noticed him lowering down and he peppered kisses over her chest.

“I know,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip when he lifted his gaze to her. Getting up, he carefully lowered himself to lay over her in a way where his weight was balanced on his left arm so he wouldn’t hurt her. Resting his head against her shoulder, he couldn’t help but smile when she instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “It’s hard to read you.”

“What do you mean?” she stroked her fingers through his hair, nestling her head in next to his while he laid over her. With anyone else, she was certain that she would have felt claustrophobic, but with Negan she actually enjoyed this close contact with him.

“I mean, I want to be the man that wants to make love to you and be romantic with you,” Negan began with a long, dramatic sigh. Pausing to take a minute, he faintly kissed over her collarbone and traced his rough fingertips over her chest. “While I think you like that, I also think you would rather me be dirty with you.”

“I’m okay with a bit of both,” she blurt out with a snicker before leaning in to press a kiss over the top of his head. “Hey, you originally sold me on the whole dominant relationship with you here. You can’t blame me for being the slightest bit interested.”

“And what do you prefer?” Negan lifted his head, his right eyebrow raising to try and read her reaction to his question.

“It depends on the moment,” she palmed in over the side of his rough face, admiring him even more when he leaned into her touch. “I think both were great and depending on what’s going on, I’ll happily take either one.”

“So it’s all about reading a situation, huh?” Negan teased her with a smirk and lowered his head back down to cuddle it in over her. “I guess you’re always going to keep me on my toes then. Has this at all let you down in any way?”

“Sleeping with you?” she questioned and he nodded which made her laugh. “Negan, you have no idea how much I’ve liked it. The first time I slept with someone I didn’t understand why people liked it or wanted to do it. With you, I get it. Yeah, I ache, but it’s worth it. Plus…this…”

“What?” his voice vibrated against her skin while he kissed over her chest.

“Being in your arms. The way you look at me and touch me,” she brushed Negan’s hair back behind his ear. Her heart was still hammering inside of her chest. Nothing had ever enamored her like this had. She looked forward to every moment with Negan and she could never recall feeling that way about anything in her life. “It’s the most incredible, addictive feeling I’ve ever had in my life.”

Without a word, Negan lifted his head and stared out at her with surprise. The way his eyes narrowed made her nervous, but unhurriedly a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Stretching out, his lips met hers in a delicate caress and her comment seemed to make him happy to hear. Kissing him was remarkable and absolutely took her breath away.

“Well I’m glad you feel that way,” Negan hummed against her lips, nibbling gently at her bottom lip, “because I feel the same way about you and I’m eager to do whatever I can to keep you in my life.”

“As if you have to try,” she cupped his squared jaw in her palms and eyed him over. “You’re perfection. I’m lucky that you even looked twice at me Negan. Someone would be crazy to let you slip through their fingers. You’re everything someone could want and more.”

Negan cuddled his head in next to hers and she felt on top of the world being with him. Negan was gorgeous. He was good with kids. He was fun. He was romantic. There were so many layers to him and she was excited that he was allowing her to get to discover them. For the first time in her life, with Negan she felt at ease at nights. Her fears no longer ruled her thoughts. Often, she would worry about tomorrow and the future, but with Negan, all she cared about was what was happening in the moment.

It was incredible how fast time flew with Negan. In the past, days were boring and long. There was always a fear of her future but getting to spend her time with Negan was phenomenal. She looked forward to it. Being with Negan changed her in a lot of good ways. Instead of being worried and scared all the time she actually looked forward to her days. Yeah, the thought of that schoolboard meeting that was scheduled was always on her mind, but that wasn’t the only thing for her anymore.

Over the next couple of weeks, they spent every moment together when he wasn’t working. Even when he was working, she found herself lounging around his home working on things for herself. There was no need for her to really go home to her parents. Of course she would stop by here and there to let her parents know that she wasn’t dead, but she had everything she needed at Negan’s home.

Y/N and Negan really didn’t have a lot of sex because there was never enough time in the day to get it all in. Actually, a lot of their time was spent with Sam. Multiple times Sam came over to hang out with them and it was really nice getting to spend time with her when things weren’t so tense. Together, she had a lot of fun with Sam. Negan’s niece was a good kid and reminded Y/N a lot of herself when she was younger. She wished she would have had a family like Sam because then she may have had a bit of happiness in her life. Sam was very loved and Y/N was very appreciative that Sam was including her in this life.

On this specific day, Y/N woke up in Negan’s bed feeling joyful. The night before they had just curled up and watched movies together before falling asleep. It was the simple things in life that appealed to her, but these were moments that she would have never found herself doing before dating Negan. Dating life scared the hell out of her in the past, but with Negan she found herself getting very comfortable with it. Negan had to go to work today and she didn’t often get up when he did. Instead, she would sleep in and get a little bit more rest. It was her phone vibrating on the nightstand that had woken her. Reaching out, she grabbed a hold of it to see that Negan had texted her to let her know that he left his wallet on the counter in the kitchen. Tonight, he was supposed to go out with a friend from work which meant he was going to need it. So he asked her to bring it to him while he was working.

Getting up was hard, but at the same time, she was excited at the idea of getting to see Negan at work. When she got up, she took a quick shower and then went to grab his wallet. The movement was quick and she ended up dropping it on the floor to have it flip open on the floor. Kneeling down she reached for it to see the photo that it had opened to was Lucille and Negan together. Stroking her thumb over the picture, she felt her throat go dry knowing that Negan’s late wife wasn’t something she often thought about. Maybe it should have been though since she was still his first picture in his wallet and he still wore his wedding ring, even this far into their relationship. Flipping to the next set of pictures she could see that he had multiple photos of Sam in his wallet. There was also a few random photos, but when she fell upon a photo of Negan with a very obviously sick Lucille, she felt her heart ache.

At this point, she knew a lot about Negan’s relationship with Lucille and his past, but she still didn’t know when Lucille died. How long ago had it been? Negan was very open about things before Lucille got sick, but he wasn’t exceedingly open about after she was diagnosed. Looking at the last photo in his wallet, she noticed that it was a photo of her with Negan and it made her smirk. Clearly Negan had a photo from his phone printed out to put in there and it charmed her. They were not even a month into their dating and she was already in his wallet?

Taking notice that something was sticking out, she reached for it to see that it was the photo strip that they had done with Sam at the mall the other day. Sam was sitting between the two of them and she found herself enchanted that Negan had kept it in his wallet. It was a fun day that they shared and the silly expressions in the pictures they took made her smile. Instead of spying any further on his personal items, she closed his wallet back up and headed to his work. The one thing his wallet made her realize is that she had so many unanswered questions that were still there about Lucille. Ones that she knew she would have to approach with caution, but her curiosity was getting the best of her and she knew that.

When she got to Negan’s work, she parked in the lot that Negan directed her to do. He told her to walk around the school to come and give him his wallet on the baseball diamond that they had. Part of her was nervous about approaching him at the school. She remembered how strict her school was about people visiting and it made her worry if she was going to get tackled just for being here without announcing herself. It was hard not looking over her shoulder every second just to make sure the security at the school didn’t go crazy on her just for being on the premises.

As she started approaching the baseball diamond, she saw that Negan was out in the middle of it talking to a few of the students. The rest of them were spread out all around except for the few that were surrounding him. When a few of the students noticed her approaching first, Negan looked over his shoulder and smiled when he saw her stepping in beside the gate that was near the dugout. Swallowing down hard, she knew this was the first time she had ever seen him working. He was wearing a baseball cap, a white t-shirt and athletic pants that made her bite at her bottom lip. If Negan would have been her gym teacher when she was in high school, she was certain that she would have been in trouble because she would have wanted to be in his class twenty-four-seven.

After a second, Negan turned toward her and started running toward where she was standing. As he approached, he slowed down and his smile expanded over his handsome features. It was one that immediately drew her attention to his gorgeous dimples. That was always something that won her over with Negan. All he had to do was smile and she had butterflies in her stomach.

“Hello gorgeous,” Negan approached her, outstretching his hands to settle them in over her sides. Surprised with his forward movements, she was tense as he lowered down to her to brush his lips over hers. Worried that he would get in trouble for kissing her, she had trouble kissing him back. But he didn’t seem worried which soon relaxed her. Curling her fingers around the back of his neck, she kissed him back and heard Negan growl when he pulled away. One of the students whistled which made Negan throw his middle finger up when they did it. Immediately she felt a laugh fall from her throat and a few of his students laughed. “I’m sorry you had to come here and put up with these little shits.”

“I’m not, it was nice getting to see you in this get up. Why don’t you wear those pants more often?” she whispered quiet enough so the kids in his class couldn’t hear them. When she said that, Negan’s head lowered and a wicked grin spread out over his handsome features. “Those are…nice.”

“You like them?” Negan sucked at his bottom lip and arched his right eyebrow in curiosity. “I’ll have to wear them for you at home then.”

“Are you wearing anything underneath?” she stepped close enough to him making an amused sound fall from Negan’s throat. Negan’s head did a cocky bob and he looked back over his shoulder to make sure the students weren’t paying attention to them.

“You’re naughty, you know that?” Negan slurred when she reached for his wallet to pull it from her bag. She lifted it enough for Negan to grab it and slide it into his pocket. “So…what are you going to do tonight?”

“What? You need to know where I’m at all times?” she teased him, reaching up to circle her fingers in over the center of his chest and Negan’s hazel eyes narrowed at her when she said it. With a tilt of his head, he smirked.

“Trust me baby, I’d much rather be home with you,” Negan reached up to wrap his fingers around her wrist. Something changed in Negan’s face and he lowered his stare from her. What was that? It was like a switch and she didn’t know how to read that. “This is just something…something one of my friends here wanted to do. I kind of couldn’t get out of it.”

“I understand,” she watched him take off his baseball cap to brush his fingers through his hair to slick it back. Noticing that his attitude seemed to change a bit, she lifted her hand to swipe her thumb in over the curve of his chiseled jaw. “I figured since I’ve kind of ditched my parents completely since I started dating you, that I would have dinner with them tonight. I guess my mom is making my favorite.”

“Aw, they missed you,” Negan winked at her, reaching out to loosely wrap his arms around her waist again. When he leaned in to kiss her, she pulled away and let out a nervous sound. “What?”

“Your entire class is watching the two of us,” she alerted him, noticing over his shoulder that every single one of his students was staring at the two of them together. When Negan looked over his shoulder most of them immediately looked away.

“You nosey little shits,” Negan called out with a laugh and he threw his hand up in the air. “Run the bases while I’m busy. Do something!”

“You can talk to them like that?” she was amused to see the students do what Negan told them. When he turned back to her, his nose was wrinkled and he was laughing. “You would think you would get in trouble talking to them like that.”

“Ah, no. We are chill. They know I’m a sarcastic shit and they give it back for the most part,” Negan informed her with a shake of his head when he leaned back in to pepper kisses over her lips making her laugh when he pulled her playfully in closer to his chest. “I hope you enjoy your time tonight with your parents. Are you going to stay over there tonight or are you coming back to my place after dinner?”

“Are you kidding me? Sleep in my cold lonely bed or sleep with your arms around me?” she acted like it was a hard decision and Negan snorted when she was being dramatic.

“You’ve been with me every day since we started dating. I didn’t know if you would eventually want alone time. I don’t have a problem with you in bed with me tonight though,” Negan insisted with a loud sigh and he pressed a loving kiss over her cheek. “I’m glad it’s Friday so I can sleep in tomorrow. It will be nice to have a break.”

“Getting to sleep in with you in the mornings is one of my favorite things,” she alerted him with a hum and tipped up to kiss him again which led to a few of the students letting out teasing sounds. “You better get back to work.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” Negan rolled his eyes at his students’ reaction to them kissing and stepped back away from her. “Thank you for bringing this to me. I’d be lost without you.”

“You know it,” she winked and watched him run back to the students where one of them started hackling Negan about his girlfriend. It made her laugh, but she knew she needed to leave before someone picked up on her being there.

Stealing one final glance, she enjoyed the sights of him interacting with the students. Negan was good with kids. Even if he was being a smartass with them.

Heading back to her car, she decided to go home to Negan’s. For a while she stayed at Negan’s place, but knew when it started getting toward the time she was supposed to go back home with her parents that she should head over to help her mother make the dinner.

When she showed up, her mother welcomed her with a big hug and it was nice to see that she was missed at least. Y/N had always thought that she could just disappear and her parents would never give a shit at the end of the day. Her mother alerted her to the fact that her father was working on something, but would join them when dinner was ready.

Going straight to helping her mother with dinner, they were rather quiet. There wasn’t much to talk about that she could freely do since she was dating Negan. So if her mother wanted to talk, Y/N would let her, but she wasn’t going to freely open up about details going on in her personal life.

Dinner was surprisingly quiet because her father didn’t say much. They just talked about random odds and ends. When they finished with dinner, her father said he would do the dishes since they had cooked the dinner. As her father left the room, Y/N could see that her mother was staring out at her. It was what she would consider a judgmental stare and it made Y/N look down to make sure that she didn’t spill anything on her during the meal, “What is it?”

“So, who is the guy?” her mother finally questioned after leaving her hanging after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. Immediately, a warmth flushed into her cheeks and she looked away from her mother. “You were always here. Then you got this job and I can only assume you’ve met a boy. You actually look happy. It’s something I haven’t seen in a very long time. Usually you’re really tense. Today, I think I’ve seen you smile more than I’ve seen you smile before.”

“Wow,” she hesitantly laughed hating that her mother was so observant and sadly knew that there was a man in her life. Did she really give off that big of a vibe to other people? The old her would have been mad at the idea that she looked happier because of a man, but it was true. It was all due to Negan that she was like this and she knew it. “He’s a really good guy.”

“So it is a boyfriend?” her mother’s eyebrow arched and Y/N couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips and she nodded. She knew deep down that she had to keep things somewhat a secret now because of the fact that it was Negan that she was dating. “What’s he like?”

“I don’t know how to describe him,” she thought for a moment letting out a long sigh. “He’s the sweetest, most caring man I’ve ever met. He’s funny, charming, handsome…all of the best details you could put into a man. I’ve never…felt like this before and it’s because of him. I’ve never met someone who has encouraged me to be the best version of myself while also being happy. He’s perfect. Everything I could have dreamt of and more.”

“Wow, it sounds like you’re in love already,” her mother snickered, reaching out to place her hand over Y/N’s and it made Y/N’s heart flutter inside of her chest. Pulling her hand back, she didn’t know if it was too soon to be using a word like that. Love. That was a big word. “When will we get to meet him?”

“I don’t know mom. It’s kind of fast,” she reasoned with her mother and she swallowed down hard. “I’m still trying to determine if this a permanent thing. I mean, I consider him my boyfriend and I love every moment I’ve spent with him.”

“It sounds like a dream come true to me,” her mother pointed out and it made Y/N laugh before lowering her head. Negan was a dream come true. Fuck, being with him scared the shit out of her because she couldn’t believe the ways that Negan made her feel.

“He is pretty dreamy. I hate to admit it mom, but this man has proven to me that everything I thought about dating is bullshit. In the short time we’ve been together, I’m not sure anyone knows me better than he does. He wants to know who I am. He wants to help me become a better version of me. He pampers me, he takes cares of me, he is the sweetest man you would ever meet,” she continued to swoon about Negan knowing that even tonight she was disappointed that she wasn’t with him. “In his arms I feel safer than I have my entire life. I used to worry every day about my future. With him in my life, I’m not so much worried about it anymore. He gives me confidence that everything is going to be okay.”

“What does he look like?” her mother urged her further into details and it made Y/N uncomfortable, but she knew that she could be vague.

“I’m going to be honest with you mom, he’s older than me,” she admitted knowing that Negan was a bit older than her in general so she was sure that her mother would have been uncomfortable with that if she stressed the age difference. “He’s just…perfect. He’s tall, slender, hazel eyes, dark hair, gorgeous dimples…he has tattoos.”

“We might want to keep your dad from that information for a while,” her mother teased her with a smirk looking toward the area of the kitchen. It made Y/N more at ease to know that her mother wasn’t being so stressed about the idea of her having a boyfriend in her life. “I’m going to take it the two of you are having sex?”

“Mom!” she blurt out feeling an overwhelming sense of dread when her mother said that out loud. Lowering her head, she buried it in her palm and shook her head. “That is really not something I want to be talking about with you.”

“So that’s a yes,” her mother reasoned making Y/N groan out with displeasure. In her opinion, there was nothing worse than getting your parents involved in your sex life. That was the last person she wanted to talk about sex with Negan to. “All that I ask for you is to be careful. I want you to be happy, but I also want you to still have the future we always talked about. I don’t want you stuck in a situation where you are unhappy, pregnant and have no means to helping yourself.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the air after she said that and Y/N wondered if that was how her mother felt being stuck with her father. There was that air of curiosity that got to her, but also the fear of hearing the answer to that. Because then there was the idea that her mother didn’t want to have her in the first place and getting pregnant with Y/N is what forced her mother to stay with her father. That was something she had never heard from her mother before, so it definitely shocked her.

“We’re careful,” she assured her mother and she shrugged her shoulders, letting out a long sigh. “If it puts your mind at ease, we haven’t slept together more than a couple of times since we’ve been together. I find that we spend more time hanging out together and enjoying each other’s time than we do being sexual.”

“Does that mean he’s not good?” her mother definitely went too far with her question and it made Y/N snort with disbelief. “I’m just saying, some men you love and you are willing to look over the fact that they aren’t very good in bed.”

“No, he’s perfect in the bedroom. He’s just romantic, very romantic. He wants to make me feel special and he wants our relationship to mean something,” she explained with a loud sigh knowing that she would have loved to have had more sex with Negan in the time they had been together, but Negan always wanted each moment to be good for her. “I know this is going to sound weird mom, but he really just wants to focus on what makes me happy. He wants me to feel pampered and like I’m the only woman in the world for him.”

“Then why the fuck are you so nervous about him?” her mother swatted the table after hearing that and it made her laugh. She had never realized that there was this side to her mother and she liked it. Why had she never seen it before? “I like hearing that you have a healthy relationship with someone. That’s all you ever really want for your child. For them to do better than you. Find someone that makes them happy and wants you to succeed in life.”

“I have confidence that he is just that,” she reached out to place her hand over her mother’s and she squeezed over it firmly. Thinking about Negan made her realize that obviously her mother had met him already and she was already swooning over Negan in the past. “Trust me, I guarantee you that you would really like him. I know he’s the kind of guy that would just warm your heart.”

“So that’s what you’ve been wasting your time doing?” the sound of her father’s voice pulled her attention from her mother and it made her jump. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Y/N lowered her gaze and her father scoffed. “Here I was thinking that you were actually taking things seriously after fucking yourself out of school.”

“I have my meeting with the schoolboard soon,” she informed her father with a shrug of her shoulders and she let out a shuddering breath. “I’m prepared for what is coming. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I do actually. I thought I taught you better than this,” her father shamed her from where he was standing, his arms folded out in front of his chest and he looked absolutely disgusted with her. “We talked about the career. The career always came first because as soon as you focused on a relationship you were going to forget all about your future. People get blinded by fucking love and as soon as they are, they forget everything about their future and their potential. You already put yourself one step in the grave because of what you did with your professor and now you just laid yourself completely in after all of this.”

“I think you would be surprised,” she attempted to defend herself knowing that Negan had already helped her a lot as it was and he wasn’t the kind of person that wanted to hold her back from her dreams.

“What I’m surprised with is how disappointing you turned out to be,” her father snarled and she felt her heart sink when her father said that to her. For most of her life she had looked up to her father and he was the person that she had tried to get the acceptance from the longest. He was the one that urged her into doing law because she wanted to be like him when she was little. So to hear him say that broke her. “I thought I raised you right…”

“You did raise me right,” she stammered with a confused expression. “I’ve always done everything right. I worked harder than anyone. I graduated at the top of my class in high school. I worked my ass off on the first few years of college, but I stood up for myself with my professor. I did what I had to in order to protect myself dad. He tried to assault me. Would you have rather me just lay there and take what he did? I have put everything into all my classes. All my grades prove that. What he was doing to me was wrong. Altering my grades so that way he could blackmail me into having sex with him.”

“If I heard you correctly from in there, your boyfriend is apparently older than you?” her father repeated her words and it made her eyebrows furrow with fear as to where her father was going with this. “You have no problem dating an older man, but if an older man you’re not attracted to wants to have sex with you, it automatically becomes assault? If the person you are dating now was your professor, you would have fucked him, right?”

“That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” she frowned not believing the things that came out of her father’s mouth about what happened with her and the professor. “It had nothing to do about attraction dad. It had everything to do with the fact that he was abusing his power over me to make me do what he wanted. Even if he was the most attractive man I have ever seen, I would have never allowed it. I would have still had the same reaction. It had nothing to do with attraction.”

“Right,” her father rolled his eyes and she could tell that he didn’t believe her which hurt her all the more.

“At this point I feel like you would have just rather me sleep with my professor instead of standing up for myself,” she pointed out and her father shrugged making her let out a disgusted breath.

“You’re going around being a slut anyways now,” her father stated with a dark expression, his eyes narrowing out at her. It made her stand up from the table, her heart was pounding inside of her chest and she felt like every part of her was on fire. “You could have at least been a slut and finished school instead of ruining your future and deciding to be a whore afterwards.”

“How am I a slut for dating someone?” she demanded an answer from her father, looking to her mother who was looking down and away. It was obvious that she was embarrassed by her father’s outburst, but her mother was saying nothing. That wasn’t rare. At this point her father could have said anything and her mother wouldn’t defend her even though her mother had seemed okay with everything before. “Wouldn’t I have to be sleeping around in general with everyone and anyone to be a slut?”

“Whatever makes you feel better honey,” her father moved around the table to sit on the corner of it, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “What you should have been doing is groveling. You should have been making up the work you knew that you were going to miss for the rest of this semester. Maybe you should have apologized to the professor. Begged him to forgive you. The schoolboard is not going to accept you back and you are so arrogant to think otherwise. You should have done everything in your power to get back into that school or find something else. Instead, you’re opening your legs to an older man. Sounds like you’ve taken this time to be exactly what I called you.”

“I should have known it would be a mistake coming here tonight,” she went to leave feeling her father grabbing a tight hold of her wrist as she went to leave. The yank he did jerked her back and his fingers had an exceedingly hard squeeze over it. “Let go. You’re hurting me.”

“You are an ungrateful little shit and I taught you better than this,” her father scowled, his eyes darkening while he looked her over. “After everything I have done for you over the years, this is the way you decide to pay me back, huh? All that money wasted.”

“I’m sorry I’m not your perfect image dad,” she snapped back, attempting to pull her wrist back, but he kept his firm grasp on it. “I guess I should have just let my professor rape me so you could be proud of your little girl and the woman she became.”

“You know, you have a really smart mouth and no man is going to be accepting of that little girl,” her father pulled her forward and she felt a nervous breath catch in her throat.

“Just because you’re an abusive shit that doesn’t like a strong woman doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is like you,” she scoffed watching her father’s eyes narrow and a moment later felt the firm smack of his hand across the side of her face. When he did it, her mother finally stood up from where she was seated and stepped forward. Reaching up with her free hand, Y/N felt her chest aching and she finally found the strength to pull her wrist from her father’s grasp. “Wow, not only am I not the person that you thought I was, but you certainly aren’t the man that I thought you were.”

“Y/N,” her mother tried to step forward and Y/N held her hand up to stop her mother from talking to her. “This just got elevated very quickly and I think if you sat down…”

“I’m not going to sit down here with him right now. I’m going out for a while and I’m going to let him cool down because I’m not going to sit here after he just hit me,” she insisted with a firm shake of her head, backstepping away from the table. “He’s not the man that I thought he was…”

“I’m not going to change my mind on how I feel you ungrateful little shit,” her father got up from the table and her mother stood before her father to press her hands into the center of his chest to stop him from moving forward toward Y/N.

“Then I guess I’ll be back later to get my things,” she swallowed down hard, hating to have to say that, but the things that her father said were just so unforgivable that she couldn’t stand to hear any more of it.

Instead of waiting for any other response from her father, she headed for the door and left. There was a sense of surprise that her mother didn’t come after her, but she didn’t know what she expected from her in the first place. While her mother had stepped up when she felt her father was getting too aggressive, she just let her father say those horrible things to Y/N. It was obvious that at this point in her life, her parents no longer accepted her or wanted to support her with her future, so Y/N was done with things. There was no point in trying with them anymore after her father’s outburst and she absolutely hated it.

Walking across the street to Negan’s home, she didn’t even care if they saw her heading that way. Their opinion of her was already skewed anyways so if they already thought she was a slut and a horrible person, who cared what they honestly thought about her being with Negan?

----

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#Negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction

[dornish-queen]

GQ MEXICO - PEDRO PASCAL 2021

It seems that Pedro Pascal is in all possible universes. Here and there. In the past, in the present, and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great entertainment reference and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Enough reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he traumatized his father in 30 seconds.

The RAE defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or a group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And also one can put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the path to follow, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. Turning the pages of the script for The Mandalorian , the Disney + series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise , Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection carved his way.

More than two decades have passed since the Chilean-American, Pedro Pascal, began his acting career and today, named as the great reference of 2020 , he misses the theater and it still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a diet sana while acknowledging the irony of having the best year of her career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried the best-selling Christmas baby rescues many positive things and shares his vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies and how to traumatize your family with a simple scene of TV. In an interview, the Mandalorian of Latinamerica.

IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. How was living your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from it?

The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I do find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during it, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must emphasize that this loneliness is a privilege when many people had to continue working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We only had to be alone, but they more than that and you must value it too.

Among the activities you have missed, how much do you miss the theater?

Much indeed. It's something that I miss the most and being with people without being afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That is what I need most, in addition to my loved ones.

Disney fully entered streaming and its strong letter has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?

There are incredible things in streaming and many people develop great projects that they did not have access to before. The diversity of voices is gaining ground and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and boundaries change. It is incredible the availability that we have to very well made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of watching content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. You have to achieve a mix of opportunities and challenges.

You jump between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until you reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you summarize the essence of this legendary story?

For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It is one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was less than two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga ; it becomes one of those romantic childhood things that opens your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian perfectly understand this nostalgia and that power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the world of Star Wars and I couldn't be happier to be part of it. (From which we expect the third season The Mandalorian)

The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?

I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theater preparation, which was very physical on all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with and that are essential to create a role, and they teach you that the voice is something primary, something you have to start with and you cannot hide. Now I have learned much more about the importance of that, and how to use it economically. The body also has to do with that, because something very subtle communicates something. In The Mandalorian , I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense at it.

What happens to the ego when someone works under a suit and a mask?

In the conversations about the project, before doing it, we were communicated the idea and the concept of the entire season , so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so there was no point in involving my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character , the piece that it represented for him and the opportunity that it was for me, so I was only focused on executing in a better way the part that touched me in everything this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.

It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base ...

Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, doing a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate , being part of a whole image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined that it would be something I would have to use on such an important Star Wars project .

On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau should be added to the list?

I think your name is already included. Without a doubt, it is in that category and it is incredible. His vision fascinates me. I remember an episode in the second season , and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, it stuck to them. He figured it out, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're out in the snow. They approached me and gave me new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and it is repeated to scale in every session with him. He thinks of absolutely everything and his vision of the use of technology is admirable. He is someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.

One of the reflections in the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and way of life. What makes you break with your beliefs?

I think that you must follow your heart so as not to regret anything; Although sometimes it brings pain or conflict, deep down when you look back, everything is worth it because it was what you heard in your heart. I am very afraid to deny that feeling or not to attend to it. I am 45 years old now and I cannot believe I have a finer philosophy. Make it more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and it's all I can say, "follow your heart." Although, you know, I'm not on a good diet yet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.

Still good at Chilean empanadas?

Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I do not live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to defe just to eat.

I want to deviate and ask you, with whom did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what traumas did you cause in your family?

For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters , although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you that it was not. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? Me lying there, with pieces of my meat, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. For them there is nothing funny but traumatic. My dad's voice changed completely when we saw the episode, he turned around and said: “I didn't like it, Pedro . No, Pedro , not this ”.

The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When playing a character with characteristics like this, do you humanize him or do you understand him?

The project had nothing to do with the former president. They always told me that my character in Wonder Woman: 1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took that as far as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more to work with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story that is being told and there is always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "blowing her out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling his story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.

What a way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol ... How do you perceive that moment?

I am not a politician and it is not that I do not have an opinion about this type of event; however, it is not necessary to state the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I believe that I am next to the majority who experienced this, which is the logical result of what we have experienced during these years and we are all horrified . It was distressing to see this violence.

If you had the monolith in your hands, what would your wish be?

My wish would be… it's impossible, really (laughs). I think it is to be together again, with less fear and that people have the opportunity to connect.

What is your position on the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?

It is something that I am developing and I continue to do in my life, trying to understand that it is my home. To be in Chile is to be at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it is strange, I do not feel with the title of a complete Chilean identity nor with an American one.

Neither here nor there?

In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chilean , my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I came back sometimes because my family is very large; in fact, my parents came back. It has always been there, it continues to develop, and it will be a part of me. I don't know if it answers your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.

What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Are you interested?

Much, it has invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies that I carry in my heart, seeing something like Y tu mama was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile , and the only thing I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.

Today you have a comedy with Nicolas Cage on the door, can you tell us something?

It's my first shot at comedy , as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences , in the 80s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage appeared , he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.

How is the relationship you have with the comedy genre?

I love it, I have done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television issues , I was always part of drama castings . And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; Although I identify with one or the other, I think that being an actor , one goes and does what one has to do. Comedy is something unique, it is very challenging because it must be very real to be funny, you cannot hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.

Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream about when you sleep?

I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven is on and all that stuff. Sure, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects , although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day that you can imagine.

Without a doubt, Pedro Pascal is a particular type .

English Tranlation: Google Translate

SOURCE:  GQ MEXICO

#pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #gq mexico #Articles

[hockey-x-imagines]

Made to Last || Tyler Seguin Pt. 18

A/N: Sooo I’ve been watching too many movies and have decided to change the direction for now. I’m really sorry this has taken months to get out, but between writer’s block and life I just haven’t been able to get the next parts of the series out, but I’m back. I’m not sure that I’ll be updating things as quickly as originally but I’m thinking 1 or 2x a week. Please don’t hate me for this part, it’s really short and I hate it, but it needed to be posted. Feedback is always welcome.

Song Inspo: Made to Last by Issues.

Warning: Cussing and some angst.

Paring: Tyler x Reader

P.O.V: Tyler

Word Count: 640

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It had been about 2 months since Y/N had been stabbed and I had proposed to her. I wish I could say things were going great, however that would be a lie. She had come home a week after everything had transpired. At first, our relationship went back to pure bliss, I couldn't be happier, then she listed her cabin for sale. That was something we'd agreed we weren't going to do. In listing the stupid piece of shit, she had to fly back and forth, using MY money. Whenever she wasn't in Dallas with me, she rarely talked to me, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she had a little something on the side.

Tonight, was a charity event, and guess who wasn't in town. Granted I hadn't told her, it was clear selling her cabin was more important to her than I was. That being said, I wasn't going to show up alone. Those words that ruined our lives years ago popped up in my head. I am Tyler Fucking Seguin, anyone would be lucky to be seen on my arm. In a moment of stupidity, I called the one person I could think of to be my plus 1, Nessa. At least she cared about me. Was I most likely being beyond stupid? Probably.

“Tyler!” Nessa’s whiney voice called from the front door. I forgot just how annoying she was. As she approached me with arms wide open, my phone started to ring. Y/N’s face plastered the screen, seeing her face sent a pang of guilt through me, yet I ignored the call and went on with my plans for the night. A big part of me knew this would backfire on me, but at this time I couldn’t find it in me to care. I was too hurt, and honestly, I didn’t really know why I was hurt in the first place. That was just what I was telling myself to get me by.

Walking into the room all eyes were drawn to my side. More than half the crowd’s eyes snapped to me with questioning glances. My eyes roamed the room and locked with Jamie’s furry-filled eyes. Once again, a big part of me knew why, but I couldn’t find it in me to care or ask why he looked so pissed. It wasn’t until I looked to Jamie’s side that I realized why he looked like he was going to murder me. Y/N stood with him, looking at me with tear-filled eyes. It was only then that I also realized I had fucked up yet again. But this time I knew I needed to let her go, I really think when it came down to it, I just didn’t want her anymore. Seeing her run away and me not wanting to follow her really cemented the thought of me not wanting her anymore.

“You are the world’s most fucked up jackasses. You have yet again thrown away the one person who really gives a fuck about you outside of your stupid fucking looks and money. You have hurt Y/N yet a fucking gain. And you don’t give a flying fuck. I tried and succeeded to bring her back to you once, but I refuse to do it again. I’m not hurting her mentally, emotionally, or fucking physically again for your waste of space ass!” Jamie yelled in my face. Everything he said made sense, however, what fell out of my face next made no sense.

“If you think so fucking high of that stupid fucking whore, then why don’t you fuck her?” I don’t think I meant anything I said, but I was pissed that Jamie would pick some girl over me, so Y/N got the short end of the stick. It’s not like she didn’t deserve it, she was probably already fucking him.

#made to last #Tyler Seguin #tyler seguin fic #tyler seguin one shot #tyler seguin imagines #tyler seguin imagine #dallas stars #dallas stars fic #hockey #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl #nhl fic #nhl imagine #tyler x reader

[amor-immortalem]

Can I Stay Up Here With You Forever ch.4

Previous

Taglist: @mediocredetective

Warnings: Mentions of past child abuse and neglect

“So, what’s the plan for today? Or are we jus’ stayin’ home all day?” Mammon asks as he lugs the suitcase he brought with him into the bedroom and opened some dresser drawers to put his clothes away.

“I figured we could go out and explore more of the city together. Plus, I want to get a few more pieces of furniture to fill out the house.” Arella runs a hand through her hair as she stretches. “Breakfast was great, by the way. Thank you.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that good- not compared to last night’s dinner anyway...”

“Don’t put yourself down like that, Honey.” The human gets off the bed to hunt for some clothes of her own. “You’re cooking is good, okay?”

He nods slowly. “Not if you ask my brothers though... One of ‘em always has something ta say ‘bout it- and none of its good. Even Beel has complaints sometimes.”

She frowns in response. “Well, I’ll have you know I genuinely enjoy your cooking. I wouldn’t mind if you cooked for us more often.”

Another nod from the demon as he returns to his task of emptying out his suitcase and Arella continues her search for the perfect outfit.

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“Where is he, Solomon,” The Avatar of Pride questions the sorcerer as he stands in the foyer of Purgatory Hall.

“I’ve already told you, Lucifer.” Solomon replies with a smile on his face. “I don’t exactly know. The human world is the best answer I can give you.”

The demon studies the human for a moment to deduce whether or not he’s lying about know where Mammon is. “Where in the human world?”

“I don’t know. Arella wouldn’t tell me where exactly she was summoning him to.” It’s a tiny lie. Of course, he knew exactly where they were, but Lucifer didn’t need to know that. “I have no reason to lie to you, Lucifer, but why exactly is it that you want to find your brother so badly?”

“I want to... apologize for my actions. It seems, after further review of the situation, that I was wrong. The bill I received was full of fraudulent charges to his credit card. Does that change your answer?” The first-born narrows his eye as the silver-haired sorcerer shook his head. “Then I’ll be off. If you hear anything, I want to be the first to hear about it.

Solomon only nodded, an amused smile playing on his lips. He wondered just how long it would take the demon to pinpoint Mammon and Arella’s location.

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They bounced from shop to shop throughout the day finding many cute trinkets and knick-knacks on their journey. The cutest ones- and Mammon’s personal favorite- was a set of crows sitting on a tree branch together, their bodies turned away with their heads pressed together so that they formed the shape of a heart. He instantly picked it up after Arella made the comment that the crows were representative of them and their love.

As their small shopping spree came down to an end, they had stopped to take a break in a park, just taking a moment to rest and enjoy the beautiful day. It filled Mammon with a warm feeling he wasn’t quite sure he could name just yet so he just opted to hold her hand as they relaxed on the park bench as a few small families played nearby.

His attention in particular was pulled to one certain family: A mother and father with their three boys. Watching them drug up a desire he thought he’d never have.

“Hey, babe,” He starts quietly.

“Yes, Love?” she hums in response.

“Do... Do ya want kids...?”

“Do you?” Arella replies with a question of her own, green eyes peering up at the demon.

“I asked you first.”

With a chuckle she answers, “Yes... having children with you wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I’d love to one day down the road. How many do you want?”

“Just one would be good enough,” He smiles, resting his cheek against the top of her head as they sit there in peace for a while longer.

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Sitting in his office, attempting to keep his mind off Mammon, Lucifer was working on his ever-growing stack of paperwork. It wasn’t working and something in the back of the demon’s mind was gnawing at him. Something Arella had said to him roughly a month ago about stealing his brother away to the human realm and never returning. A laughable idea for as much as he knew she wasn’t joking; she really held no power to make that decision. Mammon was a demon- one of the seven lords of hell. His place was here in the Devildom whether she liked it or not. Mammon himself had to realize this was all pointless eventually and then he would come home and that would be the end of it. Or at least that’s what Lucifer hoped anyway. He really didn’t want to have to drag his brother back here kicking and screaming.

Stepping away from the old, worn-out desk, the eldest decides a break for tea and a phone call might do better to take his mind of things for the time being.

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Putting up her dusty old tomes on various mythologies of the ancient past, Aubrie could just barely hear the phone. Hopping down off the ladder, the mythologist swiped up the device- a gift from the only demon in her contacts. He was lucky she didn’t have it turned off like she usually did while she was working.

“Good evening, Lucifer,” Holding the shiny D.D.D. to her ear, she answered with a chirp. “To what do I owe the honor?”

“Good evening, Aubrie.” Lucifer’s voice is smooth as silk and Aubrie has to wonder if he just naturally talks like that or he was using that ‘seductive speechcraft’ Arella had mentioned some time ago to get whatever it was that he wanted from their conversation. “Have you spoken to Arella recently?”

“I have. You know she just moved from England, right?” The ginger chirps. “I texted with her this morning to see how it went.”

“Actually, I didn’t.” The Avatar of Pride hummed as he sipped on his tea. “That’s interesting. Where abouts did she move?”

“I wish I knew. The best I can say is somewhere in mainland Europe,” Aubrie lets out a sigh. “I want to go visit her. I can’t imagine how lonely it is to move to an entirely different country where you’re alone- although for Arella that’s pretty on character...”

“She does seem independent,” Lucifer hums, “I’m sure she’ll be fine. Actually, that’s part of the reason I called. I’m sure she told you that my brother’s with her when you spoke earlier... I need her to send him back. He can’t be missing so much school- his grades are already abysmal to begin with and the longer she keeps him up there, the worse they’ll get. Plus, I have things I need to talk with him about.”

“She's worried about his safety with you, Lucifer. Apparently, you broke his elbow somehow? Or something to that effect.”

“I didn’t break his elbow. No, he did that on his own by falling on it, but my actions helped lead to it so I have some blame in it.” The black-haired demon sighs, “That’s why I’m looking for them. I want to apologize to Mammon- he didn’t exactly deserve what I did that led up to him breaking his elbow.”

The human nods at that. “And here I thought you would be too proud to apologize.” She teased.

“If it were anyone other than my brothers, maybe.” He admits. “But in their own way, each of my brothers are important to me. We’ve been together for eons. Losing a single one of them would be devastating to our family, Aubrie. Like right now, the house has been too quiet and dark since Mammon left for the human realm. Things aren’t right until he comes home.”

“I see, but if you knew your brother would be happier up here in the human world with Arella... would you let him go?”

“I can’t- and it's not because I don’t want him to be happy, quite the opposite, actually- if we were not of such high rank and standing, then I would be content to allow Mammon to follow what makes him happy- whether that be here in the Devildom or up in the human world to allow him to live amongst the humans.”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm sure Arella has told you about our rank here in the devildom. We’re each to rule over a layer of Hell once we leave RAD in a few years. Mammon has a responsibility to the Devildom as Lord of the Fourth Layer. It's not a thing that he can just leave behind in favor of spending the rest of his human’s minimal lifespan up in the mortal realm.”

“You could be less harsh on him though. I know our morals on what is wrong and right are different and it’s foolish for us to force our morals on to literal demons from some of the stories she mentions about the way you all treat your brother... Well, it sounds like abuse to me and for someone like Arella, that’s very triggering for her.”

“What do you mean by that?” Lucifer’s interest was piqued at the human’s words. He knew next to nothing about Arella’s past before the exchange program and she never talks about her past to begin with so having the opportunity to hear about it was enticing to the Avatar of Pride.

“Her home life when we were children was... less than happy. Her mother was physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive as well as neglectful. I have plenty of pictures from when we were children where she’s covered in bruises, black eyes, busted lips. She would never say anything against her mother so protective services couldn’t do anything for her, but we all knew that woman was the cause of them. So you see, the way you treat your brother drudges up all that old trauma for her and that’s why she behaves the way she does. Wouldn’t you do the same thing if you were in her shoes, Lucifer?”

“You’re not wrong.” He goes to take another sip of his tea but the cup is empty. “This was nice and also very insightful. I have to go now, enjoy the rest of your evening, Aubrie.”

“Thank you, Love. You too. Make sure to go to bed a reasonable time tonight.” There was a short pause on her end before Aubrie began sputtering apologies and trying to back pedal her way out of that embarrassing situation and the line eventually just cut off.

Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh softly at the ridiculousness of it all. Humans sure were a funny creature.

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Next

Find more writings on my masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me! shall we date? #obey me fluff #obey me mammon #mammon fluff #obey me lucifer #obey me solomon #obey me oc #arella #aubrie

[alecmagnuslwb]

Love Me Tinder - @doubleredweek Day 5

Read on AO3

Roy doesn’t know why, but he’s fairly certain that Jason Todd is trying to kill him. There’s no other explanation for the scene before him. Firefighters don’t actually do this; he should know he’s been one since he decided to drop the sidekick gig at eighteen and never once before has he seen a firefighter actually wear nothing but tight-fitting jeans and suspenders while washing one of the firetrucks.

It’s just not something they actually do except maybe for the annual charity calendar which it’s nowhere near being the time for that photoshoot and no one has a camera. Well no one except those two girls he saw across the street about twenty minutes ago that were definitely not being subtle as they took a few shots he’s sure will make their way onto Instagram and then from there turn up in some tabloid later.

He can see the headline now: Bruce Wayne’s sexy ward gets wet. It’s like a bad porn he kind of wishes he was starring in.

For a brief only slightly insane moment he contemplated chasing after the two women and asking them to forward him whatever videos and photos they took for his own personal use. Luckily his logical brain took over for his horny brain before he could do anything so absurd.

Roy lets out a literal groan when Jason pauses in his work and runs a soapy wet hand through his hair the little white streak near the front being pushed all the way back.

“Go to your bunk if your gonna start making noises like that,” Dick says as he leaps up beside him twisting himself into an impossible sitting position on the picnic table out in front of the station that Roy’s been happily planted at for forty-five minutes now pretending he’s reading the book in his hand.

Haley, their own personal little firehouse mascot comes trotting out. She pushes up with her three strong legs and settles on the bench beside him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Roy says indignantly looking down at his book that he realizes now is definitely upside down. Dick chuckles clearly seeing the realization cross his face. Roy hastily flips the book right side up ignoring his best friend.

“If you’re gonna ogle at least make your decoy convincing,” Dick says reaching down and picking up Haley cradling her in his arms like a baby.

“I am not ogling your brother,” Roy huffs casting his eyes down to his book. He starts reading and realizes he has no clue what’s going on, he’s pretty sure he just kept turning pages to seem like he was accomplishing anything but daydreaming about Jason’s six pack.

“You are totally ogling my brother,” Dick says as he starts literally rocking Haley to sleep. “You should just ask him out already, I’m like 99% certain he’d say yes.”

Roy gives up on his book tossing it off to the side. The thud of it against the table disturbs Haley from her drifting slumber the small grey pup giving him a warning look. He scratches behind her left ear the way she loves in apology before looking up at Dick.

“You want me to ask out your little brother?” he says in disbelief. He always assumed Dick would be very much against the concept of his best friend and his little brother.

Dick just shrugs. “Yeah, why not? Little Wing’s been a hell of lot better off since he finally quit the whole Outlaw gig and if it weren’t for him randomly running into you that never would have happened. Your good for him and considering how lovesick you look all the time when he’s around I’d say he could be pretty good for you too.”

Three years ago on a random chilly Gotham night Roy walked his way into a hostage situation by accident, the infamous Red Hood had broken it up, but not without a little help from the former Speedy.

Jason had been grateful for the help, but behind those eyes he could also see a hell of a lot else going on. He looked tired, worn down by life. Roy knew the look well; it had hit him before he could even legally rent a car. Mostly Jason looked like he could use a friend, so Roy decided then and there to be one.

Within the year Roy knew more about Jason’s life since being brought back from the dead than even his own brother and six months after that he’d convinced Jason he didn’t have to hit the streets anymore if he didn’t want to.

Getting him the training and into the vacancy in their firehouse had been easy with Dick vouching for him as well.

“Batman might beat me up though,” Roy says leaning back and finally letting his eyes stray back to Jason who it seems has sadly finished his job. A dry t-shirt now covering his Adonis like chest, suspenders hanging at his sides.

Dick whacks him on the shoulder with a huff. “Batman will not beat you up, I’ll beat up Batman if he even thinks about it.”

Roy chuckles at that his eyes still following Jason as he talks to a few of the other guys.

“Okay, since you’re willing to protect me from the big bad bat I’ll ask him to have dinner or something sometime,” Roy concedes looking at Dick with a ‘does that make you happy’ face.

“Fantastic,” he says with a big grin slapping Roy on the shoulder once before tumbling gracefully off the picnic table to stand in front Roy, Haley still perfectly held in his arms. “I got a shift with the other job,” he says with a wink lifting his shirt to reveal the Kevlar of his Nightwing costume. Roy gives him a playful salute that Dick returns as he wanders over past Jason.

“Hey Jay!” he shouts as he passes him by. “Roy wants to ask you something!” And then he’s off blowing Roy a condescending kiss before he disappears into the firehouse.

Jason turns his attention to Roy those perfectly white teeth showing as he makes his way over to the bench. He sits down straddling the same side of the table where Roy sits those tight pants stretching perfectly over Jason’s thick thighs that have been the star of some of Roy’s most pleasant dreams of late.

“What’s up?” he says ruffling out his rapidly drying hair. He’s so bright, so much happier than the fatigued anti-hero Roy met all that time ago.

He’s also annoyingly handsome with his hair sticking up in an array of directions from drying in the hot summer sun. Roy thought being best friends with an absolute smoke show for years was frustrating, this is so much worse. One day he wants to ask Bruce if there’s some sort of pre-requisite that Robin’s needed to look like they’d grow up insanely handsome to get the job.

For a moment Roy pauses and considers chickening out, Dick ran off so it’s not like he can force this to happen.

The thing is Roy really wants this to happen, plus Dick will continue to stick him in situations like this if he doesn’t just bite the bullet so he takes a deep breath and the biggest leap he’s taken since he was literally jumping across rooftops.

“You want to get dinner with me some time?” he asks holding his gaze with Jason those blue green eyes of his shimmering in the slowly waning evening sun.

Jason squints one eye at him the start of a smile on his lips. “Dinner as in a date or dinner as in two friendly firefighting friends?”

Roy smiles. “While I find your alliteration fun I was thinking of it more as a date.”

Jason’s half smile grows full and he swings one leg over the bench. “Sounds great, it’s about time you asked.”

He stands and starts walking backwards eyes still on Roy’s.

“Well you could have asked me,” Roy says holding his hands up in a why not gesture.

“Pfft,” Jason says still cautiously walking backwards. “I’m way too emotionally stunted for that and you know it.”

Roy huffs out a little laugh kind of in awe that Jason had ever considered asking him out first.

“You still off shift Friday?” he asks just as Jason has one leg in firehouse the other out.

“Yep.”

“Good, I’ll pick you at seven,” Roy says catching Jason’s bright smile and nod of agreement before he disappears inside the firehouse. Roy opens back up his book with a smile starting it from the beginning knowing good and well he won’t comprehend a single word of it once again. Just this time his distraction won’t be watching Jason, it’ll be thinking about Friday.

#my fic #jayroy #jayroyweek2021 #jason todd #roy harper #writersmonth2021

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Part 6

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Starting Fresh

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned), Female!Reader x OMC – Mark

Word Count: 7,712 (messages, thoughts, lyrics in italics).

Part Summary: Y/N and Dean try to distract themselves from what happened the night before, despite the fact that they can’t stop thinking about each other. However, after an incident at school between Ben and another student, Y/N makes a difficult decision. Later, as she meets someone who could help her forget about Dean, he finds out what Lisa’s been hiding from him.

Warnings: Angst, Guilt, Alcohol consumption, Some fluff, Mentions of cheating.

Music: Good as Hell by Lizzo (playing in the background as Y/N gets dressed for girls’ night out), Starting Over by Chris Stapleton (Y/N and Mark scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: I loved reading all of your responses to Part 5, I’m so happy you guys loved it and were surprised and shocked! That’s what I live for hahaha! I hope you guys continue to enjoy this series as we move forward. It’s a bit of ride, but I promise the result is going to be worth it! Thank you so much for all of your support, it really means a lot. Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Masterlist 

The next morning brought cloudy skies, a gloom that matched the way Y/N was feeling as her eyes fluttered open. She turned her head and looked out the window, frowning as she saw the clouds in the sky. She loved the summer but now with fall settling in, the hopes for even one more day of warmth were over.

The thoughts of Dean hadn’t left her mind since the night before, as much as she tried to not think about him. The way he felt against her, his hard torso against hers, his calloused hands against her skin, the feeling of his muscles against her hands even through his shirt, his lips against hers… it had all stirred feelings within her that she wished she didn’t have for someone who was taken. She couldn’t do anything about the way she was feeling.

As she stood up from the bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she couldn’t help but think about how much more complicated things had gotten. All because she couldn’t keep away from Dean.

She really was in trouble.

The shower turned on, wetting Dean’s hair as he tilted his head into the spray. The water flowed down his back, seeping into his skin. He closed his eyes and stroked the water through his hair a few times to get it soaked down to the scalp. He opened his eyes and stared at the tiled wall in front of him. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened last night. The way Y/N felt against him, her smooth skin against his calloused fingers, her soft lips kissing his. He couldn’t get her out of his mind; being that close to her turning him on in ways he hadn’t been in a long time.

As Dean finished up in the shower and got dressed for the day, his mind was still on Y/N. However, guilt washed over him. He felt like he needed another shower. Maybe ten. It had been quite a few months since he and Lisa had been intimate in any way. The last time they even tried to start something up, she stopped him before anything could happen, saying she had lost the urge. He knew there were other ways to be close to someone but having been in a relationship for 3 years, and suddenly lacking a sex life in the last few months meant that he was incredibly frustrated. It had been a lot of time with his hand, in the shower or the bedroom when no one was around. He had never strayed however, and he wouldn’t, even if he had a moment of weakness with Y/N. He had stopped himself and he was going to make an effort with Lisa. Then maybe, just maybe, they could go back to the way things were.

Dean walked into the kitchen, seeing her and Ben laughing about some video on her phone, as they ate breakfast. He smiled as he saw her face light up. She was a beautiful woman, and anyone could see that. He cared very deeply for her, always had. It just never became more than that. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her, but if they tried again, he knew that he could be.

He walked over and watched her lift her head to see him walking towards her. He leaned in and kissed her slowly on the lips, trying to see what her reaction would be. When she pulled away with a small smile, he tried not to feel too optimistic.

“Looks good” he said, as he sat down and piled several pieces of bacon onto his plate.

“It’s probably going to rain, so we can’t go to the park and swing a few bats” Ben informed him, sadly.

“Damn” Dean muttered as he looked out the windows and saw the grey skies. “That’s a shame.”

“I have to run a few errands, so you’re both welcome to join me” Lisa chimed in.

Ben groaned as he pushed the eggs around in his plate.

Dean snickered as he watched him. “Maybe I can call Sam. He’s not working on a case right now; we can drive into the city and all hang out at the big arcade. How ‘bout that?”

Ben’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah, if it’s cool with your mom” Dean said, looking between him and Lisa.

“Sure” she smiled at her son.

“Yes!” Ben pumped his fist, eating his food properly now.

“Thanks” Lisa said as she looked at Dean, with half a smile.

Dean nodded as he tucked in.

It wasn’t much of a reaction, but he would take what little happiness he could get from her.

“Alright, go nuts” Dean told Ben, and watched the kid dash off into the arcade.

Dean turned to Sam and shook his head with a laugh, taking a sip from his beer. They both sat in the adjoining diner, watching Ben through the windows. While he was going crazy on all the games, Dean got the chance to talk his brother.

“How’s Eileen?” Dean asked, his fingers drumming against the bottle to the beat of the AC/DC song playing overhead.

“She’s good, a little tired, but good” Sam replied, taking a bite of his salad. “The new firm’s kicking her ass but she’s kicking theirs right back, so I’m proud of her.”

Dean smiled, albeit a little sadly as he saw how much his brother loved his wife. “That’s great, man.”

There was a moment of quiet as Dean kept picking at the label on the beer bottle, when Sam spoke up.

“I don’t know if I should ask this, but… how are things with Lisa?” Sam asked, tentatively.

Dean huffed, shaking his head. “Pretty much the same as always. If we’re not ignoring each other, we’re fighting about something. I’m trying to be a little more… I’m trying to get us back to some place closer to how we were but… I don’t know.”

Sam frowned, lines forming on his forehead as he worried over what Dean just said. “You’re sure you don’t want to just… end it before things get worse?”

“No” Dean said, too quickly. He looked out the window to see Ben playing Galaga. “I can’t do that to him.”

“Dean, what you and Lisa are doing is worse for him. This way, at least it’s a clean enough break and everyone can move on without too much damage” Sam explained, pushing his plate to the end of the table, finished with his meal.

“I know” Dean said, quietly.

“So, what’s the problem?” Sam shrugged. “Yeah okay, you had some good years, and that’s great but… you can try all you want to get those years back, it might not do anything. Lisa has been emotionally checked out from this for a long time now, and let’s face it, you are too. You’re both just in this for Ben.”

Dean took a swig of his beer but didn’t say anything.

“Dean, you deserve to be happy with the right woman, not miserable with the one who you thought was the right one” Sam said, leaning his arms on the table as he looked his brother.

“Sam” Dean groaned. “Just stop, okay?”

“But, Dean-” Sam started but Dean cut him off.

“You said what you had to say, alright? You made your point. Let’s move on” Dean said, his tone almost pleading.

“Okay” Sam whispered.

“Good” Dean muttered, picking up a few fries from his plate and shoving them into his mouth.

With his brother’s mind preoccupied with the food in front of him, Sam stared at Dean, seeing the turmoil written on his face. His brother was loyal to a fault, but he had seen for a while now how much this relationship was hurting him. He never listened to anyone, not him, their parents, his friends, about breaking up with Lisa. He always cited that Ben was the reason he needed to stay, but there was also another reason that Dean hated to admit to anyone, even himself. Sam could see it, though. His big brother was afraid of being alone.

Sam knew he couldn’t tell Dean to break up with Lisa any more than he already had. He had to realize that’s what he needed for himself, and maybe, he could find peace after it.

Later in the evening, Y/N laughed as she opened her door and walked into the house, Charlie following in behind her. They had just come back from a slasher movie, which hadn’t turned out to be very good, but you couldn’t expect a lot from a B grade film. That didn’t matter though, as they still got to enjoy lunch before that, and were just going to hang out now that they were at Y/N’s.

“God, that guy couldn’t act!” Charlie complained as she sank into Y/N’s couch. She kicked her converse off and brought her legs up. She had instantly made herself comfortable at her house, and Y/N couldn’t be happier with that.

Y/N continued to laugh, nodding as she agreed. “I know! And what about the scene where the axe went through his head? It totally didn’t connect!”

“Right?” Charlie shook her head, giggling.

“Alright, what are we drinking?” Y/N asked as her laughter died down and she walked into the kitchen.

“Whiskey” Charlie replied, quickly without thinking too much about it.

“Ooh, yes. Perfect for this weather” Y/N said, as she looked out the window at the light drizzle.

Y/N brought the bottle and two tumblers over, sitting next to her redheaded friend. She poured a couple of fingers in each and handed her one, clinking their glasses together. They both took a sip and Y/N sat back, smiling contently. It had been a good day, a nice distraction from her neighbor who she had feelings for. Her face must’ve changed when she thought about him for split second, because Charlie picked up on it.

“You okay?” she asked, curiously.

“Yeah” Y/N huffed with a small laugh. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seem like something’s on your mind” Charlie shrugged.

Y/N looked away from her and sighed. She was going to flip when she told her.

“I… went over to Dean’s for dinner last night” she started, waiting to get to the point.

“Nice. I hope Lisa was a bit more open than last time” Charlie commented.

Y/N bit her lip nervously, before letting it go. “She… she wasn’t there.”

One of Charlie’s eyebrows lifted up. “Okay…”

“We, uh… we had a great time. We talked a lot about his family, about mine. I… I told him about Ethan” Y/N told her, staring into her glass at the amber liquid.

“Wow” Charlie breathed out. “How did that go?”

Y/N smiled as she thought back to how he told her she was the strongest person he knew. She didn’t feel like she was, but just knowing that he thought that about her made her feel like she could be.

“It went well. In the moment I thought about against telling him, but he just… he made me feel so safe that I told him a little of it” Y/N said, the soft smile still on her face. “Not everything just yet, but I trust him and maybe I can tell him more, eventually.”

Charlie stared at her, knowing her new friend was falling for one of her old friends was incredible to see, but she didn’t want her heart to get broken by the situation at hand.

“Y/N… I’m glad you felt the confidence to tell him. I’m even more happy that he made you feel safe to open up, but… but you have to tread lightly here” Charlie said, carefully.

“I know” Y/N agreed.

“It’s my fault, really. I told you about Dean and Lisa’s relationship, but that was only because of what you said happened at dinner here-” Charlie said, but cut her off.

“It’s okay, Charlie, really” she reassured her, taking her hand in hers. “I know why you told me that. Believe me, I know. It’s just…”

“What?” Charlie knew there was something she wasn’t telling her.

Y/N sighed in defeat. “We kissed.”

“What?!” Charlie yelled, sitting forward as she stared wide eyed at Y/N.

“We had a great time, we were laughing, and he made dessert, and… fuck, it just happened” Y/N shook her head, saying it out loud made it more real, and made the guilt flood in again.

“Y/N!” Charlie yelled.

“I know!” Y/N yelled, burying her face into the couch cushions. “I’m a shitty person.”

“No, you’re not” Charlie told her, helping her off the couch cushions. “We just can’t let that happen again.”

“And I won’t” Y/N vowed. “I think it’s out of my system in the crappiest way possible, and it’s done now. Even if it was the best kiss of my life… I’m done.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, in awe of the statement she just made. “The best of your life?”

Y/N nodded, sheepishly. “It was like… like I was always meant to be there, with him.”

A silence fell as the two friends looked at each other, before Charlie spoke.

“I hate to say it, but… I think that’s where it has to end” Charlie said, as gently as she could.

“I know” Y/N nodded, firmly.

On those final words, the friends moved away from talking about it. Y/N knew that what happened last night couldn’t happen again. It would be hard to let him go, but she had to. She wasn’t going to break up a family. That’s not the kind of person she was. She had a moment of giving in, but it was done and dusted. Swept under a rug, never to see the light of day again. From that point forward, it would be strictly professional. She was Ben’s teacher and that was it. She may be their friendly neighbor, but she couldn’t be Dean’s friend.

She couldn’t have another moment to give into.

Dean smiled as he sipped his beer while sitting on the couch, watching Ben recall the day’s events to his mom. They had a great time with Sam at the arcade, playing all the games and eating junk food. After a while, Ben retreated to his room and Dean knew he’d been listening to his music before going to bed.

Dean walked into the bedroom after finishing his beer, watching Lisa get changed into her pyjamas. He moved up behind her after she took her top off, wrapping his arms around her waist. He leaned down, placing kisses along her shoulder.

“Dean” she said, a slight laugh bubbling up from her. “Stop.”

“Oh, come on, Lis. Ben’s in his room, probably has his headphones on” he said, between planting kisses on her shoulder. “We haven’t in a while…”

“Dean, please” she said, as she pulled away from him. However, when she turned around, she looked a little annoyed. “Maybe… maybe another time.”

Dean was surprised by that, considering she laughed a little when he came up behind her. “Yeah. Okay.”

She moved away from him, walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it.

Dean sighed as he changed into a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt. He left the room and into the living room, turning the lights off. He dropped his phone on the coffee table and laid down on the couch. It was a familiar feeling as he had done this a few times over the last year. Considering things didn’t go the way he thought they would tonight, he knew it was better to stay away for now. He pulled the throw blanket over himself and closed his eyes.

After some time, he opened them. He wasn’t going to sleep. He lifted his head and looked at the clock on the wall, the time reading 10.30pm. It wasn’t late for him, as he usually fell asleep in the AM on a weekend. He picked up his phone and started scrolling through different things, before an idea came to him. Hopefully she wasn’t asleep yet.

Y/N sat up in bed, reading, the bedside lamp provided the light she needed as it bathed the room in a warm glow. She pushed her red glasses up the bridge of her nose when she felt them falling, flipping the page. Charlie had left an hour ago, which gave her some time to herself and the ability to lose herself in her latest read. As she read, her phone chimed. She frowned, wondering who could be texting her at this hour. She thought it must be Charlie, wanting to tell her some funny anecdote, but her eyebrows furrowed as she picked up her phone from the bedside table and looked at the screen.

Dean: Any chance you’re free tomorrow? We need to talk.

She sighed as she placed her book down next to her and typed out her response.

Dean frowned as he saw what she had written.

Y/N: I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Dean.

Dean: We can’t just ignore what happened, Y/N.

She shook her head. She couldn’t be pulled into this again. She had no desire to talk about it, choosing instead to forget about it and make sure it never happened again.

Y/N: I think that’s exactly what we need to do. Forget it happened. Goodnight, Dean.

Dean looked down at the message and shook his head. How could he forget when she was constantly on his mind? He was trying, had been trying all day, but the fact was he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t deny he had developed feelings for her. He told himself he would try with Lisa, but would it do any good? He just needed to talk to Y/N and see whether they were on the same page or capable of getting there, and then go from there.

He decided to put his phone and sleep on it. Maybe things would be clearer in the morning.

Monday quickly rolled around, and Y/N was thankful. School was a good distraction from the drama in her life, even if Ben was there. She was going to have her 8th graders after lunch, so as she ate, she had enough time to look over what she needed to do for class. She was in the middle of reviewing her lesson plans when she heard someone call out her name. She looked up and saw Chuck walking towards her.

“Hey, Y/N, can we talk for a minute?” he asked, politely.

“Sure” she replied, but slightly nervous as she didn’t know what this is about.

As she followed him into his office, she sat down across him as he sat at his desk.

“Don’t worry, it’s not anything to worry about” he assured her, when he saw her looking like a deer in headlights. “I just wanted to ask you how things have been going.”

She sighed in relief, a smile appearing on her face. “Things have been great. Challenging, but I think I’ve handled it.”

“That’s great to hear” he returned her smile. “I’ve had some calls from parents telling me how much their kids have liked you, so all I can say is keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Thanks, Mr. Shurley” she said.

“Ah” he waved a finger at her.

“Sorry” she laughed, slightly. “Chuck.”

“You’re welcome” he said with a small nod.

She quickly left his office with a smile on her face. Hearing that from Chuck was exactly what she needed today. It was the reassurance she needed that coming to Lawrence was a good decision. It was a reminder of why she came here, for this job and to inspire these kids, not for any unnecessary situations outside of school. She really just had to put her head down and do what she needed to and forget about Dean. Even if he did live across street from her, right now, he couldn’t exist.

As she walked from the staff room to the classroom after lunch, she watched kids file into the rooms, ready for the next period. She smiled as she turned the corner, ready to see her students but it dropped the minute she entered the room.

Ben and another student, Tommy, were roughly pushing each other back and forth, some of the other kids in class yelling for them to stop, while others yelled for them to keep going. She quickly dropped her things on the desk and rushed over, attempting to pull them apart.

“Stop it, stop it right now” she said, her teacher voice louder than usual. “Ben, Tommy – STOP!”

She got in the middle, either hand on the boys’ shoulders, watching them breathe heavily as they glared at each other. She thought about sending them over to Chuck’s office, but they’d probably kill each other on the way over.

“You two, sit down right now. We’re going to Mr. Shurley’s office straight after class” she said, sternly.

The rest of the kids were timid for the rest of the class. She had rearranged some of them so that Ben and Tommy were sitting as far away from each other as possible. Things were tense through the whole period, but she was glad that once it was over, Ben and Tommy stayed in their seats as the other kids filed out.

“So, who wants to tell me what happened before we head over to Mr. Shurley’s office?” she asked, looking between both of the boys.

Tommy stared down at the desk, refusing to speak. Y/N knew he wasn’t going to say anything and looked over at Ben. He looked at her with a mournful yet angry look. Clearly it was something bad.

“Tommy was making fun of me, that Dean’s not my real dad, that I don’t know who my dad is” he told her, side eying Tommy.

Y/N’s heart sank into her stomach. This was worse than she thought.

She nodded, calmly standing up from her desk and walking over to Ben. “Tommy, make your way to the Principal’s office, please. You can explain to him why I sent you, and that Ben and I are on our way.”

Tommy rolled his eyes as he got up from the desk, slinging his backpack over his shoulder as he walked out. She was going to be there soon, so he knew he didn’t have a chance to escape.

Y/N took a chair and placed in front of Ben’s desk, sitting down across from him. After a few seconds of figuring what to say, she clasped her hands as she looked at him.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to hear what Tommy said to you, Ben, but what I do know is that what you and Dean have is special. He cares a lot about you, and he treats you like you’re his, doesn’t he?” she said, pausing after she asked him a question.

Ben responded with only a nod.

“Then that’s all that matters. You know your relationship with Dean better than anyone, and what others have to say about it, doesn’t change the fact that you’re a family. That Dean’s your family” she explained, with a small smile at the end.

There was a brief pause before Ben finally spoke.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been quiet in class. It’s just weird seeing you around the neighborhood and our street, and then here, too” he said, looking up at her.

She was shocked. That wasn’t what she expected him to say.

She smiled, softly. “It’s okay, Ben. I’m sure it’s strange for me to be friends with Dean and your mom.”

She added Lisa in only for Ben, because she knew they were far from friends.

Ben shook his head. “No, not really.”

Y/N nodded. She was almost hoping he said it was strange, so that not being around Dean would be a bit easier.

“Alright” she said, standing up. “We better get over there.”

“Am I gonna get into trouble for pushing Tommy?” he asked, as he stood up and followed her.

She frowned, not sure what would happen. “Maybe an after-school detention at most, considering neither of you are seriously hurt.”

“Great” he said, rolling his eyes.

Sure enough, as they discussed everything in Chuck’s office, both Tommy and Ben were going to have to do after-school detention, which Y/N was meant to be supervising that day, coincidentally. Tommy apologized to Ben and then both of the boys were off to their next class, albeit slightly late, but Chuck had already informed the next teachers’ of why they would be late. Chuck told her that he’d call the parents as she left his office. She had literally been there a couple of hours ago, for some good feedback and now this happened. Talk about two ends of the spectrum. Though she had to be thankful nothing worse happened to either of the boys.

The length of time seemed to stretch on forever as Y/N waited for after-school detention to be over. There were couple of other kids in there with Ben and Tommy, who looked like he was ready to run as soon as the time was up.

All of them bolted as soon as she opened her mouth to tell them they could go. Ben gave her a small smile as he walked out of the room, which she returned. He was a good kid and didn’t deserve to be talked about the way he was, no kid did. She hoped it wouldn’t weigh heavily on him after this experience. She quickly packed her own things, putting on her dark grey coat over her dark grey A-line dress, with a deep red belt and collar. She was more than ready to go home herself.

Dean leaned against the Impala, waiting for Ben to come out of the school. He clocked off early to come and get him after he was done with detention, as Lisa was working late. She had called him and told him what happened, and now here was. He smiled as he watched Ben walk out and over to him.

“Hey” he said, putting an arm around him. “You okay?”

“Yeah” Ben nodded.

“Alright, well, you can fill me in on why you had to go to detention on the way home” Dean said, as he opened the car door.

As he was about to get in, he saw Y/N leaving the school, pulling her coat tight around her, protecting herself from the wind. His eyes followed the lines of her legs in her stockings and black heels, shaking his head of the thoughts that flashed through his mind.

“Hey, just wait here, okay?” he said to Ben.

“Sure” Ben replied, not really looking up at where Dean was heading off to, as he got into the passenger side.

Dean jogged up to Y/N, quickly catching up to her. “Y/N!” he called out and watched her turn around.

Y/N was shocked to hear his familiar voice call out to her. She didn’t expect to see him there and swallowed nervously. “Dean, hi.”

“Listen, I know you said that we shouldn’t talk about what happened, but I just… I have to know-” he started but she cut him off, shaking her head.

“You don’t have to say anything, Dean” she said, quietly, her emotions getting the better of her. She didn’t want to do what she was about to, but she had to. “It was a lapse in judgement for both of us. A moment of weakness that won’t ever happen again.”

Dean knew there was truth to her words but hearing them made his heart feel heavy. As much as he was trying in the last couple of days with Lisa, it hadn’t done much for his hopes that they would be fine again. He wanted to talk to Y/N and see if they could work something out.

“I just think-” he started but she cut him off again.

“No, Dean. Just don’t. You have a family. They’re the ones you should be thinking about, not me. That kid over there” she said and pointed to the car where Ben was. “He considers you his family, and I know you feel the same. I won’t break up a family, Dean. I just won’t.”

He looked between the car and her. She was right. He cared about Ben, and he was only in this relationship for him now. To be in his life. Did that mean he had to be miserable with Lisa forever, though? He didn’t know what to do.

“Do you regret it?” he needed to know if she felt the same way as him. He wished he hadn’t done it while he was with Lisa, but it happened. However, remembering how she felt against him… it felt right.

She shook her head, feeling tears prick her eyes. “No. And that’s the problem.”

She should’ve felt regret. She should’ve hated what she did. She felt guilty for it happening but at the same time, she couldn’t regret kissing him. She had never felt a connection like that with anyone she had been with.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty” she said, before pressing her lips together to keep them from quivering. “Ben’s a great kid. At the end of the day… I have to look out for him as much as you do. I’m not his parent but I am his teacher. I have a sense of responsibility to him.”

He felt a pang in his heart as she looked at him, tears threatening to fall.

“I know you have your issues with Lisa, and I want… more than anything, to say forget it all and take me in your arms, but I can’t. I shouldn’t be thinking about you in the ways that I do. I shouldn’t be thinking about what life would be like with you” she shook her head, everything just spilling out in a ramble of emotions.

“Y/N…” he whispered, slowly putting his hand on her shoulder. He wanted to tell her that he thought the same things.

She gasped, feeling the warmth of his hand radiate through her. She gulped and breathed in deep. She looked at him with a stony expression. She had to put her walls up and walk away. It was the only way to save herself from heartbreak and for him to not feel like crap for what happened.

“I’m… going to step back for a while. You’ll see me around, I know, but we have to pretend like nothing happened. You have to think of me as your neighbor, as Ben’s teacher, and that’s it. We can’t be friends anymore, Dean” she said, as a tear finally escaped and rolled down her cheek.

Dean’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “What? No. Screw that-”

She shook her head when he tried take her hand in his. “It’s too hard to be around you and not be with you, Dean.”

“Y/N” he said, finally getting close enough to her that he could take her hand in his and she couldn’t stop him. “Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. I have to. They’re your family and you care about them; I can see that. And I can also see that you care about Ben. So much so, that you’re willing to stay in this relationship for him” she said, smiling sadly. “You’re a good man, Dean. You’re loyal and you’re trustworthy, kind and loving… but at some point, you have to decide whether what you’re staying in this for is a good enough reason.”

Dean stared at her but didn’t say anything.

“It’s a big decision to make… but I can’t make it for you by continuing the way we have been. It isn’t fair to anyone.” Her voice cracked, slightly shaky but she managed to keep the rest of her tears at bay.

Dean shook his head as he looked at her. Everything she said made sense. Despite it, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink at her words. Not being friends would feel weird, especially if he saw her around and couldn’t say anything to her. Maybe… maybe they needed this, though. He needed to give Lisa a chance without Y/N being a constant in his life. He told himself he would try, and now he had a proper chance to do so.

“It’s gonna be weird… not talking to you” he said, honestly.

She nodded, looking into his eyes. His beautiful eyes that she always lost herself in. “I know.”

“Take care of yourself, Y/N” he muttered, his jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed.

“You too, Dean” she whispered. “Whatever you decide… just make sure you’re doing the right thing. For everyone.”

She looked at him one last time, and even though she probably shouldn’t have, she leaned in and softly kissed his stubbled cheek. It would probably be a mixed signal, but she couldn’t leave him there looking so sad.

As she walked away, Dean could feel a tingle on his cheek where she had imprinted her kiss, much like she had on his lips, previously. Watching her walk away made his stomach uneasy, feeling it churn as she got into her car. She would be right there across the street, and he wouldn’t be able to talk to her. He didn’t know how to process that as he walked back to the car where Ben was waiting for him.

When Y/N got into her car, she watched as Dean got into the Impala and drove off, the rumbling of the engine reaching her ears, even from this distance.

As she drove home, she knew she had to make peace with her decision. As much as she wanted to take it back, she had to let him go.

Once and for all.

2 weeks later…

Y/N sipped the last of her vodka martini, bopping her head in time to the music. Next to her, Charlie was doing the same. She was glad when Meg suggested they come out to the city for a night on the town, on Saturday night. She needed a night of good drinks, good music, and maybe even a little flirting.

It had been two weeks since she had talked to Dean in the school parking lot. In that time, she had barely seen him. Just once or twice as she left for work in the morning and so did he, and once when she was coming back from the grocery store. She had seen him with Lisa one night, coming back from what looked like date night. She was glad that things were going a bit better for them, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt seeing them together.

Which is why when Meg had suggested they drive up to Kansas City to go to a bar she liked; Y/N jumped at the chance. As Lizzo serenaded her from her “Badass Women” playlist, she put on a black lace bodysuit and mini leather skirt that came to her mid-thigh, her black lace up heeled ankle boots, gave herself a smokey eye with lots of mascara look and a plum colored lip. She put a bit of wave in her hair, smiling at the way she looked. Charlie had whistled when she opened the door as shrugged on her long black coat, and she had laughed a little nervously when Meg told her she was “totally gonna get laid tonight.” It was her first time meeting the dark-haired woman in person, and she liked her instantly. She had like her even as they chatted over the phone, but it was different now. She seemed like a take-no-shit type of person, and Y/N liked that.

While she wasn’t expecting anything tonight, Y/N felt confident in the way she looked, having caught a few eyes on her already. Being here had given her a confidence she had been lacking back home, because of all the emotional and mental abuse Ethan had put her through. When Dean told her he admired her strength, that she was beautiful and an incredible person, it awoke something in her. She felt different. She didn’t need validation from anyone, but at the same time knowing that she was appreciated and loved by these amazing people she had met, gave her a new sense of belonging. She finally felt like she was exactly where she needed to be.

Meg pushed her way through the crowd of people, a tray of drinks in her hand. She handed her and Charlie their respective drinks, taking the Shirley Temple for herself, as she had made herself the designated driver.

“Y/N, there’s a group of guys over there, and I swore the blonde one is totally looking at you” she said, pointing discreetly over her left shoulder.

Y/N frowned and looked around, sure enough seeing 4 guys around a table like the girls were, the blonde one looking in their direction.

“He could be looking at you, you know. Or Charlie. I mean he doesn’t know you’re both taken” Y/N shot down the idea.

Charlie scoffed. “Yeah, right. All eyes have been on you tonight.”

“Go over there” Meg told her, her eyes lighting up.

“No” Y/N said, shaking her head.

“Do it or I will” Meg threatened, smiling wickedly.

“You wouldn’t, Masters” Y/N glared at her.

“Watch me, Y/L/N” she laughed as she quickly dashed off.

“Meg!” Y/N called out but she wouldn’t be heard over the music.

Charlie laughed as she took a sip of her drink.

Y/N shook her head at her and took a sip of her martini.

Y/N watched as Meg talked to the blonde guy and then pointed over at her. Y/N gulped nervously when she saw him nod. He was looking at her. Shit. Meg quickly walked back over.

“Girl, he’s so interested! Come on, please go over there” Meg was practically shaking with excitement.

Y/N sighed nervously. Was she ready for this?

It had been a year since she and Ethan had broken up. In that time, she had hooked up twice on two different occasions, back home. It had felt good to just have sex for the release she had needed, but it had been a while since she let herself feel something more for a man. Dean was the first one she had felt a strong connection to since Ethan, back when things were still okay with him. Even then, the pull she felt towards Dean was unlike anything she had ever felt. Not with Ethan, or any other boyfriends from the past.

What she felt for Dean… it still hadn’t fizzled out, as much as she tried to ignore it. Maybe this is what she needed though. To get over him.

She rolled her shoulders back and fixed her hair. “How do I look?”

“Sinful” Meg replied, simply.

She laughed, shaking her head at her new friend. “Okay. I’m going.”

Charlie grinned. “Go get him.”

Y/N hopped off the high-top stool and moved through the crowd. As she did, her Y/E/C eyes connected with his, and he flashed her a smile. She smiled back as she reached the table, his friends quickly excusing themselves. As she got closer and could see him properly in the dim lighting of the room, she saw that he had blue eyes. He was only a few inches taller than her because of her heels, unlike Dean who would tower over her no matter her footwear.

“Hey, I’m Mark” he said, offering his hand.

“Y/N” she took his hand and shook it. She didn’t feel a spark just yet from his touch like she had with Dean so instantly, but that was okay.

“I’ll be honest, I couldn’t stop looking at you all night” he laughed, sounding a little nervous.

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”

“Let me get you a drink” he said, flagging down a waiter. “What’ll you have?”

“Vodka martini” she said, and watched the waiter walk away to get her a drink. She could’ve just gotten hers from her table, but he had offered to buy her one. She couldn’t say no.

“Thanks” she said, smiling at him.

“You’re welcome” he smirked.

“Do you live here in the city?” she asked, as the song overhead changed to something slower, making it easier to talk.

“Yeah. You?” he asked in return.

“Lawrence” she replied.

“So, what do you do, in Lawrence?” he wondered, smiling at her.

“I’m a teacher, 8th grade English” she smiled back.

“Wow, that’s great” he nodded, approvingly.

“What do you do?” she asked.

“I’m a copywriter, for an ad agency” he replied, handing her the glass as the waiter came back to them. He passed the waiter a few bills before he walked away.

She nodded, approvingly, too. “That’s amazing.”

“Not as glamorous as you would think, though” he laughed, slightly.

“Ah, so nothing like a modern version of Mad Men?” she joked.

He laughed loudly, shaking his head. “Definitely not.”

With a break in conversation, Y/N drifted off as the song that started while they were talking, continued. The words hit her as she thought about her life back home, and the life she was making for herself now, starting over in Lawrence. The song spoke of a person to start over with, and while she longed for that someone to be Dean, she knew it couldn’t be.

It don’t matter to me

Wherever we are is where I wanna be

And, honey, for once in our life

Let’s take our chances and roll the dice

I can be your lucky penny

You can be my four-leaf clover

Starting over

“Hey” Mark’s voice bringing her back to reality. “You alright?”

She smiled, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Just feeling the song, huh?” he asked, laughing.

“I guess” she shrugged.

They talked for a few more minutes before his friends came over and told him they were going to head out.

“I should probably go, too” he said, regretfully. He took out his phone and handed it to her. “Here, put your number in and we can talk some time. Maybe… maybe I can take you out some time?”

She smiled as she typed her number in. A flashback of doing the same thing with Dean’s phone passed through her mind, but she pushed it away. “Yeah.”

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N” he said, smiling.

“You too, Mark” she smiled back, biting her lip.

As he left, she sighed. He was nothing at all like Dean, as she had discovered through their initial conversation. They were completely different in their features, the way they dressed, and the way they talked. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Giving Mark a shot would be the best way to detach herself from Dean. He was adorably cute, and she liked their banter already.

Maybe Mark was what she needed to truly forget about her feelings for Dean.

Dean popped the last bite of his burger into his mouth, humming as the flavors exploded on his tastebuds. He leaned back and took a sip of his beer from the bottle, glancing around the diner. It was a favorite spot for him, Ben and Lisa and they used to come here quite often before things started going sour. Funnily enough, it was Lisa who had suggested they go out for dinner and go there.

Things had been slightly better with her these last couple of weeks. They had managed to have proper conversations without things getting out of hand, and he had even made her laugh a few times. There was still no dice in terms of sex, but he was hoping that would change tonight when they got back home.

Dean looked over at Lisa and Ben sitting across from him, currently having a slight disagreement over him playing games on his phone while they were out and eating dinner.

“Hey” Dean said, interrupting them. “Listen to your mom.”

“Fine” Ben said, rolling his eyes as he put his phone away. “Can I at least get a refill?” He shook his empty glass.

“Yes” Lisa said, smiling slightly.

Ben got up from the table and went and stood in line at the self-serve refill station.

“Thanks” Lisa said as she turned to look at Dean.

“No problem” he said, winking at her.

He smirked when he got a small smile out of her. He couldn’t believe how things were suddenly looking up for them, but he was relieved to not be fighting with her for a change.

Her phone chiming once, then twice got his attention as well as hers. She looked at her phone, but quickly pushed it aside.

“Something wrong?” he asked, frowning.

“No, just my sister. I’ll talk to her later” she replied, shaking her head.

“Lis, it’s your sister. Talk to her, I don’t care” he shrugged, not minding if she took a call.

“No, it’s really okay” she said, her voice shaking a little.

“Lisa, what’s going on?” he asked, starting to suspicious that something was up.

“Nothing” she bit out through gritted teeth.

Dean sighed, annoyed when the phone chimed again. Having spoken to her sister a few times, he figured he’d talk to her and see if everything was okay. He reached across the table and picked up Lisa’s phone.

“Dean!” she protested.

“If you won’t talk to her then let me” he said, looking down at the screen. He glared at the screen as he read the messages. They weren’t from her sister.

Call me when you’re done with dinner.

I can’t stop thinking about you.

I wish you were here with me.

Dean saw that there was no name, just a heart emoji instead. He read the ones on the lock screen, and that was enough for him to get the picture. That was enough for him to know that she was still lying to him. That she had been for more than a year now.

Dean looked at her and saw her face change into fear.

“Something you wanna tell me?” he asked, glaring at her.

-x-

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#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

[robininthelabyrinth]

Complications - ao3 or part 1, part 2

-

Nie Mingjue brought his hand down on the desk with a little too much strength, causing an audible crack that sounded not unlike thunder.

Wei Wuxian, who’d been pacing in front of his desk for longer than Nie Mingjue cared to contemplate, froze in place.

“Your increasingly less subtle insinuations aside, Sect Leader Jiang is, to the best of my knowledge, fine,” Nie Mingjue growled. “Now I’m going to ask for the second time, and this time I want an actual answer – why are you making your family disputes my problem?”

“Family disputes?” Wei Wuxian squawked, reverting back to his usual arrogance in his irritation. “My sect leader is missing, and your Nie sect has taken over his position in battle –”

“Someone had to, since you didn’t,” Nie Mingjue said, and watched as Wei Wuxian flinched. “I’ve already told you that he requested that I do it. I don’t actually think you doubt my word, and it’s already been over two months since he retired from the battlefield – why are you making such a fuss now?”

Wei Wuxian’s lips tightened.

“Is it because of the prisoners of war you brought back?” Nie Mingjue asked.

Wei Wuxian tensed. “What makes you say that?”

“Wen Qing was once a very promising doctor,” Nie Mingjue said. “And you have been very obviously looking for someone, the way you’ve been tearing through the battlefields and visit all the prisoner of war camps afterwards – you were clearly looking for her. The only thing I don’t understand is why.”

Wei Wuxian crossed his arms over his chest. “You said it yourself; she’s a doctor.”

“I’ve never heard of her having that sort of specialization, but I suppose anything is possible,” Nie Mingjue said. “But at any rate, it’s rather besides the point now, isn’t it? I just received word from my brother that although it came early, the danger was passed without great difficulty –”

Wei Wuxian actually grabbed the letter off of Nie Mingjue’s desk in an action so mindbogglingly rude that Nie Mingjue’s brain took a few moments to process that he’d actually done that.

“Wei Wuxian!” he roared.

“This letter doesn’t make any sense,” Wei Wuxian said, as if that was the problem with what he’d just done. “Are the references to him having good hips supposed to be some sort of code – ah!”

The last one was due to Baxia whistling through the air as she tore towards his throat, stopping only a hair’s breadth away.

“Do you know what you did wrong?” Nie Mingjue growled.

“I read your mail without asking for permission,” Wei Wuxian said, his eyes wide and round as the moon. “I was rude, and insulted you, and, uh – am extremely irritating?”

Nie Mingjue waved his hand and Baxia returned to her place, though he didn’t bother pulling back her menacing aura.  

“You’re not normally this disrespectful,” he growled. “Explain.”

Wei Wuxian’s shoulders were up by his ears. “You said there was a danger,” he mumbled. “I didn’t…was it really that serious?”

Nie Mingjue’s eyebrows went up. “Do you even know what the fatality rates involved are, especially when it comes as early as that?  It was extremely dangerous. Luckily, it seems everyone is safe.”

“Everyone? Did he – were other people put at risk?” Wei Wuxian started pacing again, much to Nie Mingjue’s annoyance. “I don’t know how qi deviations work. Was anyone else hurt?”

“Qi deviations?” Nie Mingjue said blankly, and unfortunately he put together that Jiang Cheng had apparently not told Wei Wuxian at approximately the same moment that Wei Wuxian figured out that Jiang Cheng had (apparently) lied to his face about where he was going.

“He said that was why he was going to ground with the Nie sect!” Wei Wuxian was all but exploding, his face bright red in futile anger. 

It occurred to Nie Mingjue that it was actually a relatively rare look on him, no matter how much people said things about the effects of demonic cultivation on the temperament. An interesting thought, to be followed up with at a later time.

“Because you had experience with – damnit! I can’t believe he – should have known – why did he go with you lot anyway? Sure, he likes Nie Huaisang well enough, but he could have gone to where shijie is, or with his grandmother, or – something!”

“Young Mistress Jiang is with the Jin sect; that would have been a disaster, and obviously there was no way to justify the risk of bringing her closer to battle just for his own comfort,” Nie Mingjue said, his own anger extinguished by the sheer amount by which he’d fucked this up. He hoped Jiang Cheng would forgive him. “And neither the Jiang sect or the Yu sect can spare doctors the way my Nie sect can.”

“What was wrong with him, then, if it wasn’t his qi or his golden core?” Wei Wuxian demanded. “Do you know? You do, don’t you? Why would he tell you and not me? Why –”

“Da-ge! Da-ge, are you here –”

Nie Mingjue closed his eyes briefly. That was the last thing he needed.

“Huaisang,” he said without opening his eyes. “Are you allowed in Heijan?”

“No,” his younger brother said without the slightest hint of shame as he came in through the opening to Nie Mingjue’s tent. “But it’s not like you’ve actually had any problems beating off the Wens for ages, and I hitched a ride on the post; I’ll go back first thing in the morning.”

“The post is for carrying mail, not idiots!”

“You say that, and yet – Wei-xiong! Hey! What’s gotten you in such a mood?”

Nie Mingjue opened his eyes and Baxia immediate began rattling a vicious warning. “Put my brother down this instant.”

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian said, dropping his hands from Nie Huaisang’s robes with admirable speed. “But you wrote the letter – that means you were with Jiang Cheng, weren’t you? He’s all right?”

“He’s fine,” Nie Huaisang said, brightening. “The danger’s passed, and everyone’s healthy and loud. Incredibly loud. I’ve never heard such lungs.”

“Should you be mentioning that?” Nie Mingjue asked, eyes sliding towards Wei Wuxian. “If Sect Leader Jiang was planning on explaining himself…”

“Oh, no, he asked me to tell Wei-xiong about it,” Nie Huaisang assured him. “He said the conversation was the only thing he could think of that was likely to be more excruciating than what he’d just experienced, so I volunteered.”

“Excruciating? Jiang Cheng?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was getting a bit dangerous. Also, shrill. “Nie-xiong, don’t keep me in suspense like this! What’s wrong with Jiang Cheng?”

“Nothing! He’s fine now, like I said,” Nie Huaisang said. “And your shizi is doing great, too. Like I said: lungs.”

“My…shizi?”

“So it’s a boy, then?” Nie Mingjue said, and held out his hand.  

“I hate you personally, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang informed him, and put the promised scroll in his hand. “Why do I keep gambling against you? I always lose. At least I’ve smartened up and no longer bet saber training time…”

“Shizi,” Wei Wuxian repeatedly blankly, as if he’d never heard the term for martial nephew before. “Jiang Cheng – a shizi – but that means –”

Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang exchanged looks and went over to Wei Wuxian at once, Nie Mingjue catching him by the arms and guiding him down into a seated position while Nie Huaisang brought him a jar of fortified wine.

“We’ve been calling him A-Lian,” Nie Huaisang said helpfully. “Well, I have, anyway. Jiang Cheng’s just been calling him ‘brat’ the same way he did the entire pregnancy, but he smiles every time he does so I think it means he’s happy.”

Wei Wuxian was counting on his fingers, so Nie Mingjue reached out and grabbed his hand to make him stop.

“Yes,” he said, as kindly as he could manage. “It happened at that time. He got over it. Now you know, and now you have a shizi to help take care of. Dare we all hope that means that you are finally going to stop fucking around with demonic cultivation and get back to helping him the way you’re supposed to?”

He wasn’t expecting Wei Wuxian to break down into tears.

“Oh, no, I know that this is; it’s fine, I’ve got this,” Nie Huaisang said, and Nie Mingjue had never been happier to hear those (highly uncharacteristic) words. “Don’t worry, da-ge. This is the classic Yunmeng pre-confession bout of emotionality. I’ve seen it at least a dozen times with Jiang Cheng these past few months. Bring more wine and we’ll get him through it intact.”

Wei Wuxian’s sobbing just got worse.

Nie Mingjue decided to go get more wine. Possibly back-up assistance as well – someone Wei Wuxian liked who could help comfort him.

Wait.

Did Wei Wuxian like anyone?

“Sect Leader Nie,” Lan Wangji greeted politely – he was coming back from a patrol. “Is there any chance that you’ve seen Wei Ying?”

Nie Mingjue squinted at him. “You call each other by your given names?”

He hadn’t noticed that before. Though to judge from Lan Wangji’s taken aback expression, he might not have noticed it either.

“Never mind,” Nie Mingjue said. “You’ll do.”

#mdzs #nie mingjue #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #jiang cheng #my fic #my fics #complications #trans!JC

[avidreider]

Journals Part 1 ~ flatline (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Journals Series 

Based on the song, “Flatline” by Justin Bieber. 

Summary: Spencer is physically and emotionally distant and Reader decides that she won’t tolerate it anymore.

Pairing: (Pre-Prison) Spencer Reid x Reader. 

CW: angst, cursing. 

Key: Y/N = your name, italicized = unspoken thoughts, bold = texts/emails/notes, bold + italicized = song lyrics. 

-- I do not own rights to the gif nor the song. -- 

When you and Spencer first started dating, you couldn’t have been happier if you tried. He was always so attentive and caring and all of your previous relationship trauma and insecurities melted away. He had been rather transparent about the fact that he came with a past of traumatic experiences of his own, but he refused to weigh you down with the details of all that baggage. His friends vaguely explained that he suffered from addiction and lost a past girlfriend at the hands of an unsub. However, you never discussed any of this with Spencer. Regardless, you assured him that you would stand by him no matter what. 

Your relationship progressed somewhat quickly, but it was because the feelings you had for each other ran so deep. You didn’t get to spend much time with him - you were a medical resident and the nature of Spencer’s job significantly limited your time together. You dedicated large chunks of time to your own job, though, so you never complained about how much time he spent with the BAU. 

You did begin to complain, however, when he would leave in the middle of the night for ‘work,’ but then you’d get a call from Penelope or Emily asking you two what you were up to on an evening off. The first time it happened, you assumed that he just needed a break after a long case. But the second, third, and fourth time you became quite insecure. And this night, the fifth time, you felt the anger before anything else. 

“Sorry, baby, but I have to head into work. They need me,” Spencer had said to you, as he walked into the bathroom to get ready. You were immediately suspicious, so you called Emily to confirm your suspicions. 

“Hello? You okay, Y/N?” she said when she answered on the second ring. 

“Yes, Em, I’m fine! How are you?”

“I’m okay. I think Morgan, Garcia, and I are gonna go out for some drinks if you and Reid would like to come!” 

You felt your eyebrows shoot up, even though you weren’t necessarily surprised. “I’ll discuss it with him. Thanks for the invite!” and with that, you hung up. 

“So Spence, what’s the case that has you rushing off at 11pm?”

“Oh, we won’t know until we get there,” he responded. 

“That’s so unfair that they’re making you work, especially when half the team is out clubbing,” you spat, daring him to deny the truth that you already knew. 

When he said nothing, you inquired, “This isn’t the first time that you have said you had to go work when you didn’t. So what is going on? Did you fall off the wagon? Is there another woman? Did you lose the feelings you had for me?”

“No, Y/N, God -- how can you think that I’ve been doing drugs?”

“That wasn’t the only thing that I asked you, Spence.” 

“I have been going into the office to help JJ with the backlog of paperwork that she has to deal with. I also go there just to clear my head. I don’t want to just sit around here with you when I can’t focus on you. I don’t want to bring my work or other problems home with me -- I want to keep this apartment a happy place.” 

“Oh Spence, it’s our apartment. Of course it’s a happy place. I don’t want you to feel like you have to face your demons alone. If there is anything you want to talk about, I am here for you. I love you, babe, and your problems are my problems,” you assured, as your rubbed soothing circles onto his back. 

He hugged you back, and a few moments passed before he spoke again. “I don’t want my problems to end up being your problems, Y/N. You are so incredible, and-and I’m sorry, don’t take this the wrong way, but I just need some space.” 

Your mouth was wide with shock. Space? How could you take that in the ‘right’ way? How could he ask you for space when you only spent a few short hours with him in the span of a week? Your residency takes up between 40-80 of those hours, and his job usually takes up more than that. You also make a conscious effort to spend time with his friends and your friends, as well as designate time for yourselves. You practice self-care or go to the gym, while he sits at his desk and reads, or writes letters to his mother. When you do spend time together, you rarely argue. You snuggle as he reads to you, or talks about his cases (and you talk about your day at the hospital), you watch your favorite television shows, or you’re asleep. You thought that you had the perfect relationship. But apparently Spencer didn’t agree. 

“I’m just gonna go out and get drinks with Emily, Derek, and Penelope. You can come if you want, but otherwise, just enjoy your ‘space,’“ you said, with a snarky emphasis on the last word. And with that, you got dressed and walked out the door. 

You stumble back into your apartment early the next morning, and end up passing out on the couch. When you wake up, Spencer is sitting in the chair next to you with almost a guilty look on his face. “Good morning,” he said once he saw your eyes open. 

“Good morning,” you mumble. 

“So, I’ve been meaning to tell you something. I’ve agreed to be a volunteer teacher at a local high school. They’re incredibly short-staffed, and they want me to step in when I can for physics, biology, and psychology. I-I also agreed to be a mentor for the school’s chess club,” he said. 

“Okay, Spence. That sounds like a great opportunity,” you replied with feigned optimism. Great. Even less time I get to spend with him. But whatever. If he needs this much space from me, I’ll give it to him. 

The next couple weeks passed slowly; Spencer was only home early in the mornings (while you had to get ready for your shift at the hospital), and late at night (when you were already asleep). You loved that he was so passionate about his job, but you were beginning to feel resentful that he chose to take on all these other commitments when it was clear he was neglecting your relationship. 

Lately you've been busy, Wonderin' if you miss me, Why did you go against me? I just wanna know... How come you act so different? Talk to me, I'll listen, All the love I'm givin', don't act like you don't know...  

You hadn’t been intimate in nearly 3 weeks; the last time being a few days before you went out for drinks with Emily, and you hadn’t felt like he truly loved you since even before that night. And quite frankly, those feelings were justified because he hadn’t said it since then, either. He still called you periodically, and texted you when calling you wasn’t an option, but those conversations were incredibly dry and only made you feel worse. In a desperate attempt to try to feel connected to Spencer, you logged onto his laptop on his desk and, if you were being honest with yourself, started snooping. You found that he had been emailing a teacher at the high school that he volunteers at. You wanted so badly to trust him, but the feeling your gut told you to read them.

To: Ms. Everett

From: Spencer Reid 

Re: Biology 

Ms. Everett 

Thank you so much for letting me lead the lecture on genetics. You sure know your stuff! Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t believe that you teach high school! You are a brilliant woman, I can’t believe you aren’t out there finding the cure for cancer or something. If there is anything else that I can do for you or your class, please don’t hesitate to email or call me! 

With Regards, 

Spencer Reid

Call him? Does that mean she already has his phone number? I don’t think that Spencer has ever called me brilliant before, either. She’s so brilliant, but his girlfriend who is actually a doctor isn’t?

You knew that your thoughts were relatively petty, but you didn’t care. Your feelings were hurt. You kept reading anyway. 

To: Spencer Reid 

From: Ms. Everett 

Re: Biology 

Dr. Reid, 

Oh please, call me Lila! And I thoroughly enjoyed your lecture! You are one captivating man! And thank you, but you don’t have to stroke my ego! I considered medical school as well as graduate research positions but my true calling is teaching children! Maybe one day I can teach your sweet Godson! I will give you a call! If you don’t have any plans this weekend, perhaps we can grab a coffee? 

Love, Lila 

LOVE? Is that a stab at me? I took the ‘easy way out’ by going to medical school? Who is this bitch?

To: Ms. Everett

From: Spencer Reid 

Oh, you don’t have to use my honorific! Spencer or Spence is fine. And that is incredible. I love teaching children as well, obviously. I have a feeling Henry would love you! And yes, coffee would be great. 

Spencer

Hmm. Is it considered cheating to get a coffee with some strange woman who you flirt with virtually (and do not tell your live-in girlfriend about)? Something is telling me ‘yes.’  Also, he’s letting her call him “Spence”?

You read a few more of his emails along those same lines, until you felt sick. After the nausea passed, the rage came. You pulled out your phone to send Spencer a text message. 

At first, you just wanted to see if he’d lie. 

You sent a text that said: Hey babe! How’s work going? If you don’t have a case this weekend I’d like to go out on a date or something. I miss you! 

Hi baby. I might have plans, it depends on the day... he responded. 

What plans? You asked innocently. 

Just professional plans. That’s kinda vague, Spence. 

Coffee plans, with super brilliant people? 

Yeah, boring stuff. But I’m sure that you and I can still do something. 

The rage began to build as you realized that he was actively keeping Lila a secret from you. 

Oh SPENCE. When were you going to tell me that you want space from me just so you can spend more time with some slutty biology teacher?! 

Your phone buzzed almost immediately. 

What are you talking about?

Don’t play dumb with me Spencer. “You’re a brilliant woman”?! Are you kidding me? How long were you planning on keeping Lila a secret from me?

This time the buzzing was more persistent. He was calling you. 

“What, Spencer?”

“How do you know about Lila? Did you go through my computer?” 

You let out a frustrated sigh, “Yeah, obviously. And I don’t regret it, because apparently you were never gonna tell me about her. Which isn’t even surprising, you don’t talk to me at all anymore. But if you were gonna cheat on me, maybe you should’ve just broke up with me instead!” 

“She’s just a friend, Y/N, and I never cheated on you! I never would. I-” but he didn’t get to finish, because you hung up. You have been so close to your breaking point these past couple weeks, and Lila was that little push it took to send you over the edge. You packed as many clothes your suitcase could fit and took off to your best friend’s house. She would let you stay, no questions asked. And that was a good thing, because you didn’t wanna talk about it just yet. She let you in her home with open arms, prepared to be that beacon of emotional support you’d been lacking from Spencer. 

---Spencer’s POV---

COME ON, Y/N, ANSWER THE PHONE! Ugh, why did you have to go through my computer? Are you that insecure?

The phone kept ringing, but to no surprise, she didn’t answer. 

I’ll call Derek. Everyone knows he’s had his fair share of relationship issues. 

“Hey pretty boy, what’s up?” He answered. 

“Derek, Y/N won’t answer her phone.” 

“Why? What did you do?”

“Why do you assume that it was me who did something wrong?”

He just laughed. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Pretty boy, for a genius you can be so dumb sometimes. I assume that it was you who made a mistake for two reasons. For one, you called me for what I can only assume is advice on how to fix it. And for two, you’re the man. It’s usually the men who mess up in relationships. So what’s going on?”

He had me there. “Okay so for the past couple weeks things between us have been... off. I’m not sure what I was feeling, but I told her that I needed space. I think I got scared because we established a routine. It made me nervous. So I picked up some hobbies.”

“What kind of hobbies?” His suspicious tone made me feel guilty. 

“I volunteered at the high school to help with some classes and to mentor the school’s chess club. But while I was there, I met this biology teacher -”

“A female biology teacher, I assume.” 

“Yes, how did you know that?”

“Reid, I know where this is going.” 

Where was this going?

“She’s a pretty woman, huh?”

“Well, yes, Lila is pretty and smart, but so what? I’m allowed to have friends. But anyways, her and I began emailing and we planned on getting coffee and Y/N got on my laptop and read those emails and -”

“You can’t be that stupid, Reid. First of all, you don’t actually want space from Y/N. You are always beaming after spending time with her. You love her more than you love yourself, and everyone knows that. Everyone but her, and probably Lila now - and that is probably one of the worst things you can do. You can’t let your woman feel like she has to compete with other women, and you can’t let other women feel like they have the chance to steal you away. That’s how you lose a good woman. You were emailing this woman, and you set up a date with her? After reducing the already limited time that you have to spend with your girlfriend, who is also incredibly pretty and smart too, I might add.” 

“Oh...” OH! She’s not insecure, I’m just an idiot. I didn’t even want space at all, I was just scared. I just didn’t want to get complacent. When my parents got complacent in their relationship, it ended. Same with Hotch and Hailey. And Penelope and Kevin. Oh my God. What did I do?

“Exactly, pretty boy. You better show up at home with some flowers and chocolates and be prepared to kiss her feet. And I’d take a break from lecturing at that school, too.” 

“Yeah, no doubt. Thanks Morgan.” 

“Go get her, tiger.” 

After hanging up, I opened the messaging app on my phone to send her a text just to let her know that I am willing and ready to fix my mistake. 

Hey baby. I just want you to know that I won’t volunteer at the school anymore, if you don’t want me to. I will also take you out this weekend, wherever you want. I love you, and I’m on the way home. 

I was out there on the road, life out of control, She became a victim to my busy schedule, And I know that it's not fair, that don't mean that I don't care - This one's dedicated to the girl out there...  

She probably won’t respond, but that’s fine, we will talk when I get home. I asked the florist for a sunflower and rose combination, and bought food from her favorite Mexican restaurant downtown. I also stopped at the grocery to get a tub of ice cream along with chocolate, caramel, and strawberry syrup, with candy and sprinkles to make sundaes. I one-upped Derek’s recommendation, and I couldn’t wait to tell him about it. 

“Baby, I’m home! We need to talk. I am so, so, sorry sweetheart... Y/N?” I shout, even though it’s pretty clear she’s not here. 

Setting my bag on the end table, I notice a note on the refrigerator. 

Spencer, 

I am really sorry that I didn’t end up being good enough for you. I hope you don’t mind but I’ll be back for the rest of my things eventually, but if you still need space from me, it can wait. Thank you for the best year of my life. You were amazing, and I hope that Lila makes you feel the way that you made me feel. I will always love you, and I know that you will continue to do amazing things in life. Tell your mom that I love her, too. 

Love, Y/N

It was actually 15 months, 6 days, and 43 minutes, approximately. 

I dialed her number without even thinking about it. Still no answer. 

I can’t believe that she left. It feels like I’m drowning - my breath is caught in my chest. BREATHE SPENCER!

She took most of her clothes. She took her computer and books too. She’s gone. She left me. Oh no. What have I done? 

Girl you always catch me at the bad time, When I know you probably think it's a lie... And I know I told you last time was the last time, How could you pull the plug and leave me flatline?

Not breathin', what is it that I'm not seein'? Said she's leavin', damn I can't believe it... It's like my heart's bleedin' - Knowin' that you don't need me. Shut my heart down, now I don't know what Imma do now...

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer #dr. reid #dr. spencer reid #doctor reid #reid #spencer reid imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer x you #spencer x y/n

[radishaur]

hi, i love how you write and i was wondering if i could request a zuko imagine with prompts 23 and 87 from the make a reader swoon list? maybe reader has had her heart broken before so she's hesitant about believing zuko or something like that?

Ah, to be Y/N, having Zuko comfort you and attend to your needs. I love this idea! I hope you like how it turns out. For those who haven’t read the prompt list here they are. #23: I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it” and #87: “Don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it”.

- Zoe

•••

Breaking The Rules (Zuko x Reader)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

Part: 1/1

Summary: See Request

•••

Heartbreak can make you do stupid things. It turns you into an empty shell of the person you used to be. Each person you let in takes a piece of you that you never get back. That’s why love is for the blind. Those who will happily open themselves up to the pain of abandonment and heartache.

I wasn’t one of those people anymore.

Ever since my ex broke my heart, I had created a set of rules to follow. They were simple and straightforward, designed to make sure I never repeat my mistakes again.

Little did I know, Zuko would soon have me breaking every single one.

•••

Rule #1: Don’t talk about yourself

The Western Air Temple was quiet as everybody slept. The soft sounds of snoring filled the air but otherwise there wasn’t a sound to be heard. I sighed, getting up and deciding to go somewhere else.

I decided to go for a walk. I walked up the stairs of the temple and began walking through the forest. I had only gotten a few feet away before I heard rustling.

I turned cautiously to the area the noise came from and got into a fighting position.

“Hello?” I called out.

There was a bit more rustling before Zuko popped out from behind the trees. I sighed and dropped my fighting stance.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized awkwardly.

“It’s ok,” I said.

He stood awkwardly for a few seconds, shuffling around on his feet as if debating wether to stay or not. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me hopefully.

“Mind if I walk with you?” he asked.

I shook my head no, not trusting my voice to work properly. I was still cautious of him, after all he did chase us across the world, but he just had a way of making me drop my guard.

Frankly, that scared me. It should have been the reason I said that I do mind and sent him on his way. But, of course I didn’t. I simply nodded and walked beside him.

“Couldn’t aleep?” he asked softly.

“Not really,” I replied, a sigh escaping me as I did.

I had always had trouble falling asleep. I was a night person so my mind just loved to keep me awake.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

The air was thick with a tension I didn’t know could exist. I desperately wanted to be back down in the temple so that I could avoid having a conversation with him. I needed to stay neutral about him.

“So, where are you from?” he inquired, looking at me from the side as he did.

I stayed silent, meeting his gaze with an apprehensive look.

“I just don’t remember seeing you in the group until a few months in,” he elaborated.

I pursed my lips and looked ahead, determining how much was too much. I would be walking a thin line by answering, but it would be kind of awkward for me to stay silent the entire walk.

“Right,” Zuko mumbled, mostly to himself, “I guess I probably should have assumed you still hate me.”

I felt a small part of my heart ache. The group had been giving him a hard time since joining, not that I blame them, but I also felt somewhat bad. I mean, he did seem like he was trying. I sighed.

“I’m from the Fire Nation originally, but I joined the group in Omashu,” I explained.

Zuko smiled slightly at my answer. I’m sure it felt nice for him to know he wasn’t the only Fire Nation one in the group.

“Can you firebend?” he asked excitedly.

I couldn’t stop the small smile that broke out on my face at his excitement.

“Yes, but I wasn’t allowed to train so I never use it to fight. I use throwing daggers for that,” I explained, lighting a small fire in my hand as I spoke before putting it out.

“Maybe I could teach you. Aang is still doing the basics so it wouldn’t be hard to add you into the mix,” he offered.

I hesistated. I really would like to learn how to firebend properly, but it would mean spending more and more time with him. Shirtless.

Eventually, my desire to learn won out.

“I would love that,” I answered with a smile.

•••

Rule #2: Never admit you have feelings

The Fire Nation emblem was unmistakable. The airships that surrounded us were definitely not friendly. Azula stood inside one of the ships and taunted Zuko.

I knew what he was about to do. He was going to be an idiot and fight her alone. She was getting under his skin and I knew as soon as he started running that I couldn’t stop him.

The Gaang rushed onto Appa and began flying through the sky, avoiding the ship’s attacks as we did. I kept my eye on Zuko the entire time. He was holding his own pretty well, but Azula was a formidable appontent.

“We’ve got to grab Zuko and get out of here,” Katara exclaimed.

“I know, but how? He’s standing right next to Azula!” Sokka said.

I turned to look back at Zuko just in time to see him hurtling off the ship and down into the abyss below.

“Zuko, no!” I screamed.

The Gaang watched in horror as Zuko began to fall. His own expression of horror etched itself into my mind. He was going to die.

Appa flew furiously through the air until we were swooping underneath Zuko. Katara managed to grab him hand and yank him down into the basket. I unknowingly let out a sigh of relief.

We flew to a new campsite far enough away from the temple and began to set up camp. I was sent to collect firewood, which left me plenty of time alone with my thoughts.

I had thought for sure that Zuko was going to die. The heart wrenching feeling in my chest as I watched him falling was unmistakable. I felt a nervous pit begin to form in my stomach.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt why I was so scared when he was falling. I knew why that feeling of relief that washed over me when Zuko was safe was also accompanied by a warm feeling in my stomach.

“I like Zuko,” I whispered, burying my face in my hands.

•••

Rule #3: Avoid physical affection

Zuko was right: the Ember Island players butchered every play. This one especially.

In hindsight, going to see a play about ourselves written by someone from the Fire Nation wasn’t a great idea. Everybody was in a bad mood, but especially Zuko.

I caught him wallowing out on the porch when I went to grab a midnight snack. I wondered wether to leave him alone or check on him. We had grown to be close friends since he joined us and I felt guilty about the idea of leaving him alone.

“Hey,” I said as I sat beside him, “Are you ok?”

He looked over to me with a sad smile before looking back out at the ocean.

“Yea, I’m ok. I just really didn’t like the play,” he sighed, bringing his knees up and hugging them to his chest.

“I didn’t like it either,” I admitted.

Particularly, I didn’t like the implied romance between Zuko and Katara. But of course, I didn’t say that.

“It just took every mistake I’ve ever made and threw it back in my face. It made me realize how undeserving I am of everyone’s forgiveness,” he explained, the same sad smile on his face as he spoke.

I hesistated. Normally, this is the point where I would wrap them in a hug and give a huge speech about how valued they are. I wanted to do that so badly right now, but the little voice in the back of my head that screamed no made me weary.

I settled for putting my hand on his shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile.

“You’re a good person, Zuko. Even good people make mistakes,” I said.

I stood up after a few moment of silence and began to walk away.

“Wait!” he exclaimed, grabbing my wrist as he scrambled to his feet.

I stood frozen to the spot, a look of shock and apprehension on my face as I wondered what he was doing. My skin tingled at the contact and sent a swarm of butterflies off in my chest.

I was about to say something before I felt Zuko wrap his arms around me. I hesitated for only a moment before returning it. He was incredibly warm and I found myself melting into him with every passing moment.

“Thank you,” he whispered, sending a shiver down my spine.

“You’re welcome,” I replied, my voice barely audible.

•••

Rule #4: Never be emotionally vulnerable

Zuko’s battle with Azula had not gone to plan, but he had still won. Today, he was getting crowned as Fire Lord and I couldn’t have been happier for him.

I went to go see him before the ceremony and found him struggling to get into his clothes. I giggled slightly which caught his attention.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed happily.

I hadn’t been able to see him since he left at the White Lotus camp. I glanced at the bandages wrapped around his chest and walked closer to him. I helped him pull his sleeve onto his arm as he smiled.

“I’m glad you’re ok,” I admitted softly.

“Same here. I heard you took some nasty hits,” he said, looking down to where my own bandages were wrapped.

“All for the good of the nation,” I replied, a joking smile on my face.

He laughed slightly before hugging me. At this point, I was no longer surprised when he did, but I still got just a flustered. I let myself enjoy the warmth of his embrace a little longer before pulling away.

“I’m glad you came to see me,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his good arm before adding, “I actually wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh?” I asked in surprise.

“I wanted to say something before I left to fight Azula, but I kind of chickened out. And then I almost died and realized I just needed to come out and say it,” he explained, taking a step closer to me.

My breath hitched as my eyes met his. They were so beautiful and more filled with emotion than I had ever seen before.

“Y/N, I really like you. I’ve had a crush you on pretty much since the beginning, actually,” he admitted, chuckling slightly as he looked to the side.

My heart dropped in my chest. Part of me was over the moon elated at the fact that he returned my feelings and the other half of me was too scared to say it back.

“W-Why?” I asked, my voice shaky.

“Why? Because you’re insanely beautiful and smart and funny and supportive. You believed in me when I didn’t and you make me a better person,” he said, a breathy laugh leaving his voice as he spoke.

I shook my head. I couldn’t believe it. It had to be some kind of joke.

“That’s not true,” I said quietly, beginning to step back from him as I did.

Zuko stepped forward again and took my hand in his. I met his gaze with tears in my eyes.

“It is true. I didn’t know until a little while ago, but it’s true. I fell for you without even knowing it and, Agni, does it hurt that you can’t see it,” he said.

“I...,” I began, my voice cracking with all the emotions I was feeling.

“It’s ok. I figured you probably wouldn’t feel the same,” he sighed, stepping back before saying, “I just wanted you to know.”

Seeing the heartbreak in his eyes only made mine worse. I took a deep breath.

“That’s not it. I....,” I trailed off, my confidence faltering slightly as he looked at me.

I ran a hand through my hair nervously before crossing my arms over my chest. Zuko simply watched me patiently, waiting for me to finish.

“I do like you. A lot. I’m just scared,” I admitted.

“Scared I’ll bertray you like I did the others,” he said softly.

“No! No, this has nothing to do with you,” I assured him quickly, desperate to stop him from going down that train of thought again, “I just...my ex really hurt me and I’m afraid of trusting someone that much again.”

Zuko stayed still for a moment before pulling me into a hug. I immediately began to cry as he held me, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

“I don’t know what your ex did, but I promise you this isn’t a joke. I’m so head over heels for you, Y/N. Even the Gaang can back me up,” he assured me, his arms tightening around me slightly.

I took a deep shaky breath before pulling back slightly. I felt the nervous pit in my stomach once more, but in that moment I wanted to ignore the rules. I leaned up and kissed him.

It was soft and nurturing and so very different from how my ex and I used to kiss. Zuko kisses me like I was a treasure he never wanted to lose. Like I was the air he needed to breath. It sent a warm feeling across my entire body.

“Does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” he mumbled into my lips.

I cracked a small smile before responding. I ignored the voice in my head that told me to run away.

“Yes.”

•••

Rule #5: Never say I love you. Ever.

Things with Zuko have been going great. I had been dating him for a few months and even with him being Fire Lord, he always made time for me. Wether it was small breaks in the garden to impromptu lunches, he always managed to fit me into his busy schedule.

Today, it was early morning tea. The morning was still bright and the tea I held on a tray as I walked towards his room left tiny curls of steam billowing behind me. I didn’t bother to knock before opening the door, but apparently I should have.

Inside, there was Mai. Kissing Zuko.

I felt the tray slip from your hands and crash onto the floor. Zuko shoved Mai off of himself as the tray fell and then looked to the doorway when he heard the crash. His expression of anger dropped when he saw me standing there.

“Y/N, wait!” he exclaimed, his expression of horror clear as day.

I ran out of the room. I didn’t even know where I was running, I just let my feet take me wherever they wanted. I knew I had been stupid to trust him. I felt my breathing become shallower as I ran and the panicked feeling in my chest grew as well.

I finally stopped in the garden by the turtle duck pond and cursed myself inside. Of course I had come here. This used to be Zuko and I’s stress free spot. I felt myself struggling to breath as I let my tears fall.

“Y/N, let me explain.”

I turned to see Zuko standing a few feet behind me. I hadn’t even heard him walking towards me. I turned back around and began furiously wiping my tears away.

“Go away, Zuko. I have no interest in hearing what you have to say,” I spat.

“Y/N, please. She kissed me out of nowhere. I didn’t kiss her back. You just happened to walk in at the wrong time,” he pleaded, taking a step closer towards me.

I scoffed before turning around and glaring at him angrily.

“I don’t believe you,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Y/N, I would never cheat on you. You’re the most important person in the entire world to me. I don’t love Mai, I love-“

“Stop! Stop it.”

My scream cut him off and sent the atmosphere into one of tense silence. My tears had begun falling once more. I didn’t want him to finish. I couldn’t hear him finish.

“Don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it,” I said quietly, my voice wavering.

“I do mean it,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he spoke, “I mean, this isn’t by any means how I was planning on telling you, but it’s true. I love you, Y/N.”

I met his amber eyes and felt a piece of my heart shatter. He had real genuine pain in his eyes, like he was begging me to believe him. I wanted to. I wanted to believe so badly.

“How can you expect me to trust you?” I choked out, wiping my tears away once more.

“Because I’m not your ex. I’m your loving boyfriend who wants to spend the rest of his life treating you with the love and respect you deserve,” he answered, taking another careful step forward.

I let out a shaky sigh and balled my fists. I forced myself to shut my eyes and look down at my feet. I felt tears building up once more as I fought with myself about what to do. I wanted to believe him because I did trust him. But, that tiny voice was still screaming at me to run.

I wanted to say it back. I wanted to admit that I did love him. But I knew that once I said it there would be no going back. I would be sending myself down the very path my rules were set to keep me from.

I felt Zuko’s arms wrap around me and realized I had begun to sob. My hands were at my mouth to muffle the sounds and I could feel Zuko’s hand rubbing circles onto my back. I latched onto him and cried.

“Shhh. Shhh. It’s ok. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so so sorry,” he whispered soothingly into my ear to calm me down.

He knew I was fighting a battle within myself. Even without me having to tell him, he knew. Maybe it was because he knew the signs of what he had gone through himself or maybe it was because he knew me so well. Probably both.

I found myself melting once more into his soothing embrace and I allowed my sobs to die down. Zuko never loosened his hold on me or stopped comforting me. I felt the familiar warmth I felt when I was around him return.

“I love you too,” I said, my voice cracking as I did.

I heard Zuko laugh and pulled away to see that he had also been crying. I wiped his tears away and pulled him into a kiss. He kissed me again and again and again, smiled wider after each one.

I pulled away from his to give him a stern look. His smile faltered for a moment, scared of what I was going to say.

“I’m still mad at you though. I don’t want Mai anywhere near you alone again,” I huffed.

“Deal. You don’t even have to ask again. I’m all yours, Y/N. I promise,” he responded immediately, his smile returning.

Satisfied with his answer, I hooked his arm with mine and began leading him to the kitchen.

“Let’s go make some more tea. I could use some after all that,” I joked.

I heard him laugh and press a kiss to the top of my head as we began to walk.

“I’m so in love with you, Y/N.”

“I know.”

#zuko #prince zuko fanfic #prince zuko fanfiction #prince zuko fic #zuko imagine #zuko x reader #prince zuko #prince zuko x reader

[snowpeawritings]

Hi, I would like to request a Ren/Akira story where the reader got caught up in the palace transfer thing with PT and unlocks her persona after being told she will never be able to be as strong or of use like the others. Thanks and I really love you work!

yessss always wanted to write an awakening scene!

Reader is female

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Swearing

You wanted to change this rotten world for the better but you were a pacifist.

Your parents raised you to never fight violence with violence, lest it would continue this toxic cycle that will never end. As much as you hated the fact that you can’t do anything to change things physically, just being there emotionally is enough for you. As such, you weren’t easily the most picked on. No one disliked you, but no one particularly liked you.

And you were fine with that.

With the coming of the transfer student, students and teachers were already giving him shit. You knew Kamoshida's… actions in order to become the school’s fan favorite. It honestly pissed you off to no end, having a scumbag like him walk like he owns the place, but you really couldn’t stand up to him and his adoring fans. All you could do whenever the transfer student (you believed his name was Kurusu?) is getting ostracised from the school is giving him your time and becoming his first friend.

And you were fine with that.

Turns out he wasn’t the delinquent everyone made him out to be. He just wanted to have his normal future back and a normal high school life. While you could never grant him that wish, you’ll be his support when people weigh him down. Even the threat of expulsion of him, Ryuji and Mishima would keep him up, you would always be there. Even if there’s nothing more you could do than offer half-empty words.

And you were fine with that.

When news of Kamoshida’s confession spread, you really didn’t know what to think. The calling card that was posted across the school bulletin made you believe these ‘thieves’ but it was a far stretch. You were still Akira’s friend whom he hangs out with from time to time but you never knew that he was friends with Ryuji and Ann. Then the circle grew to Mishima, to a student from Kosei High, to Makoto Niijima–

And you were fine with being outside of his circle.

He certainly looked happier when he was with them. While he rarely smiles, you could see that glint of life in his dark eyes whenever Ryuji makes a corny joke and Ann has to smack him upside the head or when he says something witty that just encompasses how much of a dork he is. He even went so far as to try to serenade his cat when the feline clearly did not want to be held[1] (who knew he had such a great voice?).

He did smile when you were hanging out with him, but you never seen him truly look happy with you. For some reason, you were fine with that.

Akira still tries to hang out with you. You could tell when his eyes winced at his own disappointment when he rejected you spending some time with him. His circle of friends were his top priority as he always goes out with them seemingly every day. As much as you wanted to respect his private life, you yourself had to guess just where the heck they kept going, especially when they were a fairly big group.

You didn’t want to follow them but to be fair, it was sheer coincidence that you were there when the entire world shifted. And no, it wasn’t because you wanted to follow Ryuji because he still hasn’t paid his debt to you to buy that entire pack of Black Thunder chocolate.

The dilapidated and destroyed train station is what you saw when you opened your eyes. You were sure this was the station that you wait for your train but never in complete chaos like this. Honestly, the place isn’t what made you scream. What you screamed was when the weird-looking cat in front of you transformed into a van in front of a group of equally weird-looking people.

When the fellow in the black coat whipped his head, you knew those dark eyes anywhere.

“It’s you!?” You screeched, your voice echoing across the tunnel endlessly. “Y-You mean… this entire time, the Phantom Thieves were you guys!?”

The girl in red who you were sure was Ann waved her hands rapidly. “No, _______! We’re not—”

Her eyes widened in surprise at her mistake before slapping her gloved hands over her mouth. “Wait, no! I mean—”

The blonde boy beside her, Ryuji, stomped his foot at Ann’s glaring mistake. “Great way to eff it up, Panther! Now she knows who we are now!”

The way that ‘Panther’ had smacked Ryuji upside the head proved your hunch right; the ragtag group of vigilante thieves that steal hearts were also your own classmates.

“I mean…” You said shakily, trying to diffuse the fight between Ryuji and Ann. “It’s pretty obvious from your voice and hair. But seriously, w-where are we? What is this place?”

The comment about them being obvious was ignored for now. Instead, the brunette you knew to be Makoto stepped in and explained everything to an extent: the Metaverse, them being the Phantom Thieves of Heart, and a magical cat.

“But please, please keep this a secret.” Makoto-or Queen- pleaded with you. “Our entire work would be gone if you tell anyone else what we do.”

You waved your hand to calm her down. “I’ll keep this a secret, don’t worry. Besides, no one talks to me so it’s all good.”

You looked over to Morgana, the cat bus that seemed to regard you with what you guessed was slight interest. “So… how do you guys normally get out of here?”

Akira-or Joker-answered you. “There’s this app on our phones that lets us go in and out of the Metaverse. And right now, I’m getting you out of here.”

As much as you wanted to stay and see how they do their job, you nodded in agreement with him. He stepped close to you, phone in his hand as his finger hovered over an eerily-looking red eye. 

“I promise,” He whispered to you, his breath fanning against your ear which made you shiver,  “I’ll explain everything to you once we’re done here.”

Him being so close has your heart churning. And you were fine with that.

But the fleeting moment ended when you heard the sound of metal clanging against each other before Joker had been sent flying from you. Just a second he was standing so close to you. Now, he was sprawled on the floor, Queen healing him as the rest of the Thieves huddled together to protect their leader.

The being that attacked Joker looked like someone from Buddhist lore; its fists crackled with lightning before hurling a large bolt of thunder towards the group. The resounding clap of thunder soon followed, electrocuting everyone who and especially the severely weakened Joker. It was only Skull who was still standing but even he looked like he was about to faint from how everyone couldn’t stand up.

“Th-The hell!?” Skull gasped out, shakily bringing out an iron bat before sizing up the figure. “Where the hell did you come from!?”

Mona groaned out from his spot. “Don’t bother fighting it, Skull! He landed a critical hit on us!”

“Get ______ out of here!” Joker gasped out, his hands inching for his mask. “I’ll hold him back for you two to escape!”

His voice brought you some clarity. The gravity of the situation had just sunk in and right now, you didn’t know whether you wanted to collapse, vomit or both. The rest of the thieves were still trying to stand up in the face of the enemy but with it raising its fists, you don’t think they could dodge it in time.

With Skull quivering, with Joker yelling, and with you panicking, you had to move. You had to move you had to move you had TO MOVE–

“And what is this?”

The next moment you blinked, you were standing in front of the large figure with the Phantom Thieves behind you. The blood pumping in your ears muffled your hearing, the sounds you could only make out were your rapidly beating heart and the booming voice of the Buddhist deity.

“Quite a brave one to stand up to me,” he said to you, “you’ll be the first to die.”

You swallowed in your bile. “I… I can still hurt you, you know!”

He slowly moved down his fists and crossed his arms below his chest. “And what good will come out of it? Your comrades are down–”

Your ears cleared for a bit, only to hear the group’s desperate shouts for you to move.

“This one is still shaking–”

Skull was already heaving at this point.

“And you can do nothing about it.”

You can do nothing about it.

That’s always been your entire schtick. You can do nothing about it. You said you wanted to change the world for the better but you were just a teenager who has some social problems. You were always the last choice when all of the good ones are used up. You were always the one in the sidelines–

“And are you fine with that?”

A sharp pain, resounding across your head before battering against your brain like a ram.

“Are you fine sticking to the sidelines, only watching others change while you stay frozen?”

Your hands grasped your head, your saliva mixed with some bile dripping down on the ground as your head pounded. Nothing could be heard except the voice in your head and it felt so goddamn right.

“Nothing will change if you yourself won’t follow through with it. You’re only continuing this tireless cycle that you wanted to desperately break. And you’re fine with that?”

“I’m not…” You growled out. The pain was unbearable but it only fueled your spite you kept hidden all this time. Within your rising rage, you barely registered getting Skull’s bat.

With a roar, you ran towards the beast, raising the bat before smashing the side of his face. “I’m not going to stand still anymore!”

The voice chuckled. “Good. That anger coupled with my power… no one can stop us.”

“I am thou, thou art I… become the winds of change that fuels the rebellion inside people’s hearts! Show them the anger that you swallowed all this time!”

A red mask lined with gold adorned your face, the feather on the left temple danced wildly with the winds blowing from you.

As your fingers gripped the mask, your lips quirked into a smirk. “Sing your heart out… De Beauvoir!”

Everything blew back; the beast, the rest of the thieves, and your self-loathing. The navy blue that adorned your body whipped around from the wind, the coattails behind you gave the appearance of wings ready to take flight. From your hip, you grabbed your sabre and flourished it before pointing the tip at the beast.

The thieves behind you stared in awe at you and the feminine figure appearing behind you. Her ball gown danced about, showing the white petticoat underneath as a pale red veil covered her flowing locks.

“What awesome power…!” Mona breathed out. “I knew there was something special about her!”

De Beauvoir’s face was covered with a masquerade ball mask, a golden band that stretched across the upper part of her face in order to highlight the rage that was building in her azure eyes. Her painted lips parted, and a single note rang out that slowly transitioned into a vibrato as a pale green light shined on the group.

“A healing spell?” Queen questioned, her strength slowly getting back as she stood up.

Yusuke-or Fox-who had been silent since your arrival, gasped at your transformation. “Such form… I never expected her to have this much power.”

“Sorry for blowing you all away.” You called out to the group, your eyes narrowing at the beast. “But with me and De Beauvoir, allow us to thank you for granting us this power!”

You felt movement beside as you turned your eyes to see Joker smirking at you. His dark eyes shone with that same glint of life when you realized that he finally gave that look to you.

“Don’t run away now.” He jested.

You scoffed but your smirk still stayed. “Same to you!”

—————————-

[1] OKOK this was hella inspired by Xander Mobus and Robbie Daymond singing together and im sO ATTACKED BY XANDER!!!! 

AND THE THING OF HIM SERENADING MORGANA IS FROM THIS 

#requests #scenario #persona #persona 5 imagines #persona 5 #akira kurusu #akira kurusu x reader #akira kurusu imagines #x f!reader #x female!reader #pastelblogsposts

[sepublic]

Lilith’s Recovery

            Rambling on how Lilith could begin her road to recovery in Season 2; Get this lady some friends and people in her life that AREN’T Eda, please! For her entire life, Lilith has constantly narrowed down her vision to only herself and Eda, and everything she does or views about herself is more or less in relation to Eda- Be it being better than Eda, being weaker as penance for the curse, curing Eda of the curse, Eda’s disconnect from the Emperor’s Coven is clearly about her feelings towards Lilith and not the system, paying only attention to how Eda is affected and not everybody else…

           The woman has constantly used Eda as a litmus test for, well, just about everything. Lilith needs to learn that there’s more to life than Eda, that she can make other friends besides Eda… She needs to learn some independence, because it seems like she doesn’t know how to function as her own person. Lilith is always latching onto someone… In the end, helping teach Lilith to make new friends, to form active connections and expand her support network- That’s a good thing!

           Lilith needs to learn not to compare herself to Eda so much… Nor compare herself to anyone else, for that matter! The Coven System is toxic in part because it’s always comparing individuals and attempting to sort them out into some sort of hierarchy, instead of letting people exist as they are, unique in their own way but not necessarily better! Obviously Lilith has her own things she wants to be good at, of course…

           Which gets me onto another point! Get this girl some hobbies. Get this girl any activities that aren’t solely about Eda, let Lilith learn to enjoy herself on her own, and with other people. Let Lilith recognize that she can enjoy life without necessarily needing the approval of this ONE person, even if she shouldn’t completely disregard them either (unless they’re a total asshole like Belos). And, I think it’d help to get Lilith to find hobbies and things to do that aren’t necessarily useful or pragmatic –even if she definitely has to help with chores too- because the Coven System, again… It tells kids that their interests aren’t valid unless they serve some sort of pragmatic use, that kids need to constantly focus on being useful, and not just being happy with themselves- That they need to actively justify their passions in life!

           I’m sure Lilith would LOVE to simplify the answer of what do with her own existence, by devoting herself completely to Eda and the others… But in the end, it’s not going to truly fix things. She needs to learn to live for herself, to just enjoy things withut having to justify herself for it. That isn’t to say whatever hobbies she finds can’t be useful, because I don’t want to place any limitations on her either… And similarly, that doesn’t mean Lilith shouldn’t help at all, period, especially since she definitely has a lot of damage she needs to repair. But she needs to learn that once the damage has been dealt with, she’s allowed to simply just exist on her own. In general, I think just emotionally healing Lilith, helping build up her sense of self-worth and confidence, making her happier… I think it’ll be a decent catalyst for character development, because one doesn’t do terrible things –at least not usually- because they’re in a good mood and aren’t questioning themselves.

           Similarly, getting to know other people can expand and broaden Lilith’s worldview, and teach her not to be apathetic to others. She needs to see that her consequences have actions not JUST with Eda, but other people, like Amity, Luz, King, etc. An apology here or there would help, but Lilith also needs to recognize and admit how messed-up the Coven System is, the corruption and wrongdoings of Belos, etc. For decades, Eda couldn’t truly reconcile with Lilith because of her support and enforcement of a horrible system… She didn’t know about the curse until VERY recently! Lilith needs to see and acknowledge the decisions that Eda made, that she has her own agency and that Lilith isn’t entitled to everything her sister does.

           Just as Lilith shouldn’t devote everything to Eda, Eda shouldn’t do the same vice-versa. Eda DID love Lilith, but she has more to her life than just her sister, and can’t dedicate all of her actions and time to helping Lilith. It doesn’t have to be just the two girls VS the world, there a lot of people willing to extend a hand to help, and there are plenty of hands that Lilith and Eda have to offer themselves. Lilith needs to recognize that just as she herself is personally at fault for a lot of things (even if the system certainly didn’t help), Eda also had plenty of agency herself… And by recognizing the power of agency, Lilith can learn to appreciate the ability to make a choice to be better, and do good things.

           Really, it seems like the girl has torn herself down too much, beneath her mask of pride and supposed superiority! Making someone feel way worse isn’t going to teach them to constructively fix things, it seems- That’s just destructive. One should focus instead on building up Lilith as a character, telling her that she messed up but also that she can at least work to repair things… Like Luz with Amity, she can fix this- Maybe not her own, maybe together with others? At the very least, Lilith can choose to stop doing bad things- That’s a good start and she seems to have begun THAT at least!

           It also helps to better hammer it into Lilith’s head, that she needs to confront issues, or at least acknowledge them… That sweeping things under the rug isn’t going to help. You can’t be a coward forever… Lilith needs to recognize the ugly truth of situations before she can improve upon them, or else accept them- Otherwise she only has herself to blame for quietly suffering. And while obviously if Lilith DOES make mistakes and relapse here or there, and she should still give herself some room for forgiveness, it’s ultimately for the chance to make things right, and NOT keeping making mistakes, or at least fix the effects of past ones. Lilith is going to have to be a lot more considerate about things…

           And, I know I said it before- But I think some interactions with King would be great! I wouldn’t be shocked if he continued to be more open and receptive to Lilith for a wide number of reasons… But it’s not out of the question for him to maintain hostility, as he was ALSO critical of himself for the same mistakes he saw in Lilith, not to mention Lilith WAS technically ‘on the other side’, did worse, and isn’t literal physical danger. I think with King, Lilith could learn to vent and acknowledge her own darker feelings and insecurities, maybe recognize that she’s not a complete monster for having them… And from there, actually work on these things! King knows what the road looks like, he can give Lily a lot of guidance on whether or not she’s messing up or relapsing, about being honest with how you feel… Learning that you don’t have to be above others nor compare yourself, etc.

           Again, a lot of this is King’s choice as well- He doesn’t exactly owe Lilith anything. While he could definitely help A LOT with Lilith, I feel… He’s also allowed to bear a grudge, too. Or, at least not want to put in the effort to ‘fix’ Lilith… It’s important for Lilith to recognize that trying to make up for things doesn’t erase them and that lingering feelings are valid. But at the same time, it doesn’t HAVE to be hopeless… And even if it is, well. You still have other connections to maintain, more connections to make if you wanted… And on your own, one is a worthwhile individual as-is.

           Maybe when the dust has somewhat settled, perhaps we can see Lilith air a grievance or two, because even if she HAS messed up a lot, that doesn’t mean she has zero judgment and nothing to offer… If Eda was too harsh in the past in her own way (not that it would remotely justify the curse), maybe it’d help Lilith AND Eda, for Lilith to bring this up as another reason as to her crippling insecurity. Eda is receptive, she’s willing to learn from Luz who’s merely fourteen, she knows that she alone does not hold all of the knowledge in the world…

           And while obviously Lilith is a lot more sus as a formerly-blind enforcer of the Emperor’s Coven, I wouldn’t be shocked if Eda blamed herself a little for not ‘rescuing’ her sister… For not leading Lilith down the right path alongside her, or at least away from blind devotion to Belos of all people. But I think if Eda had her moments of imperfection that could’ve contributed to Lilith’s poor decisions, then that should be addressed, at least for Lilith AND Eda’s good, so Eda can better understand what happened with her sister and how to avoid this again, be it with Lilith or anyone else.

           Obviously Lilith has a lot of personal culpability amidst the system making things worse… But I think it’d be good for both sisters, for Eda to at least understand a grievance or two of Lilith’s. That neither is necessarily perfect, and not ‘better’ than the others… (Granted I don’t blame Eda for proclaiming superiority back when Lilith implied her own inferiority as justification for using Luz as a hostage, that seemed more in retaliation than a genuine belief- And let’s be real, she WAS better in the sense that serving the EC is objectively bad).

           It’s interesting to me. I think Lilith needs to recognize/learn where she’s good at, in her own things, in her own way… Maybe not necessarily that she’s better at some things than Eda is. Granted, it’s easy to tell Lilith not to compare herself and be happy with who she is, when one is at the top… Lilith still DOES have legitimate insecurity. And it might not be just enough, nor healthy, to simply have her be ‘resigned’ to being worse… Because again, nobody is better or worse, we’re all equal here. Though, it’s worth noting that even if Eda WAS better than Lilith, that doesn’t mean Eda should actively hinder herself just for Lilith’s own feelings, that’s not fair to Eda... Especially since Eda low-key already held herself back in the past, to let Lilith into the Emperor’s Coven. Eda should be allowed to pursue the full scope of things she enjoys to the fullest, without worrying about holding herself down to Lilith’s level, just for Lilith’s sake. Plus, Lilith was already better than most (she became Head of the Emperor’s Coven after all), it just apparently wasn’t enough to be among the best- She had to be THE best, or at least better than Eda, which ties back to what I said about Lilith to narrowing her existence and worldview to just the two of them.

           Lilith can still compete with Eda like old times, but in a healthy sense… That her entire self-worth isn’t based on it. That she’s still good at other things. And I think maybe Eda needs to step back for a moment, and help reassure Lily of this… That she never thought lesser of her for being ‘weaker’ (or at least she won’t anymore), that her issue came from Lilith being a covenscout and hurting actual people. But still, Lilith is also her own person who is unique and has her own individual worth, she isn’t ‘replaceable’ and she needs to recognize how she accomplishes this… Be it through whatever emotional connections she can provide and receive from others, her own personal interests and skills, etc.

           I don’t expect the road to recovery to be linear, ideal, nor efficient. Not that it CAN’T be, but these characters ARE just like the rest of us in that they’re not perfect and just trying their best. Amidst shenanigans, plot-events, and maybe having to be pragmatic and make Lilith be useful now and then… Well, they say progress isn’t linear. I suppose that could mean that there is no one, right path to recovery and character development. The cast may not get to immediately address Lilith in a super-efficient, meaningful manner, stuff may just happen… But at least an effort should be made, and that alone can be good. The fact that you’re trying means a lot in the end.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house lilith #lilith clawthorne #speculation #analysis #meta

[helenared]

My firts history

This is my first fic from this couple Goku and Chichi and I hope you like it, it was inspired by a beautiful fanart of the wonderful Gokuist or Fungushi

And that story would not be published if it weren't for a great sonchichisquad friend! Thank you beautiful❤

Farewell

That’s why he didn't like saying goodbye. If there was ever a time when Son Goku didn't say goodbye to his loved ones, he had his reasons:

Firstly, he simply hated being the cause of the overflowing emotion in his family and friends’ eyes, and even in his own. That would mean admitting his weaknesses and his pride would never allow it. And secondly, If he didn't say goodbye to his family and friends, it was simply because somehow he felt he’d come back and see them again. 

There wasn’t really a particular moment of Goku saying goodbye to the people he loved -not emotionally, at least that we know of.

One example is when he left on Nimbus when he was a child -he left, just like that, to seek new adventures. A few years later, he left again -this time with Chi-Chi by his side to start their lives together. He also fled the hospital after his brutal battle against Vegeta to get to Namek and help Gohan and the rest. He didn’t say a proper goodbye to anyone, not even his own wife - it was more like a "See you soon!" Or "See you around!”, but never a final greeting. The same happened when he stayed in Yardrat, when he decided to stay in the afterlife after the battle against Cell and even when he left to train Uub.

It had always been like that. However, even if he had never been really attached to anyone, now, after having reached a certain level of maturity, Goku was trying to assimilate the fact that he had bid everyone his final farewell. 

It was harsh. He wasn’t allowed to speak to his children and friends. All he could do was watch them from above as they went on with their happy lives. But maybe it was for the best.

Gohan looked very focused as he wrote who knows what in a notebook. The last rays of sunlight were streaming through his large window as he sat peacefully inside his home office. The curtains swung as if the wind was blowing through them, but it was actually Goku. He was watching his son with a twinkle in his eye. Gohan was so smart and kind. He had always been proud of him.

Goku then saw Videl and Pan entering the room and interacting with his son. 

"Hey honey, why don't you take a break? You’ve been on that report for two hours" Videl said from behind her husband, placing her hands affectionately on his shoulders. 

"Yeah Dad, let's go have a picnic in the garden, it’s such a beautiful day outside!" Pan added excitedly, leaning over the desk, closer to her father.

Goku smiled as he watched them. The family he had built was close and loving, no matter how many obstacles they had to overcome. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Goodbye son"

Gohan would always be in good hands. And then, he disappeared.

"You’re right, it's time to relax with my two favorite people in the world and-" Gohan silenced himself as the feeling of something familiar rushed through him. He couldn’t explain what it was. It was like a warm comforting breeze that he only felt when "When my father was around ..." he completed his own thought out loud. 

His wife and daughter had no idea what he was talking about. He simply shook his head and followed the two of them so that they could spend time together as a family, unaware that he would never feel his father's energy again.

***

Goku laughed in amusement when he saw Goten and Trunks, such two great boys, training together in the garden of Capsule Corporation. Vegeta was watching them from a distance and next to him was Bulma sitting by a table with Bra.

For some reason unbeknownst to her, Bulma was holding the dragon's radar today, thinking back to the day when she met one of her best friends. She smiled wistfully. If it weren't for Goku, she probably wouldn't be where she was today.

"What the-" Vegeta whispered, suddenly uncrossing his arms, and at that very moment Goten received a mighty punch from Trunks. Goku's youngest son froze in his tracks, sitting down on the floor as if he hadn’t felt the punch at all. 

"I’ll always be thinking of you guys, especially you... my son" Goku smiled as he looked at them. Everyone there had touched his life in a monumental way.  If it weren't for Bulma, he wouldn't even know what a girl is, and she was the one who opened the initial gate into a world of discoveries.

Goten certainly made him a happier man than he already was. Becoming a father the second time was incredible, and felt just as amazing as the first time. His youngest was the living depiction of a sun rising after a storm, and he now knew that his children represented a more perfect version of him, a human version that embraced his sayajin side with tenderness.

The only thing that Vegeta had taught him was to discover and accept who he was. An alien, or to be more specific, a saiyan. It took Goku a long time to accept his roots, but seeing how much Vegeta had changed since he arrived on Earth, he could now recall the exact moment when he accepted "Kakarotto" into his life.

And with that last thought in his mind, he disappeared. And the grass started to sway from side to side, a light breeze making it dance. The people in the garden of Capsule Corporation's were left very surprised as a warm and soft sensation swam through them. 

After he recovered, Goten got up and stood into his fighting stance with a very familiar and challenging smile. "It won't be that easy to beat me, Trunks! Now hurry up! Come at me!"

Trunks smiled at his best friend. "Oh, that's what you think!" 

And both continued with their training.

Vegeta watched the boys with an arrogant smile on his lips, folding his arms across his chest again. Bulma was stunned and looked thoughtful, and her daughter didn’t understand what was going on.

***

Goku watched from the glass window into Krillin’s house. The bald man was going through a photo album with his daughter. She had grown up so much.

Eighteen was drinking a cup of coffee, sitting in the armchair next to her daughter and husband, watching them lovingly. 

"Yeah, Goku was different from any other person or being that I had ever come across in the universe. If Master Roshi were alive, he’d probably agree with me. He had a way of bringing us closer together. We went from enemies to friends and we are what we are today thanks to him. Together for life"

Goku felt really touched by this, smiling at them affectionately. Krillin had always been a very important person in his life. His first and closest friend. The most faithful of all.

"Krillin..."

And then he left.

Krillin had no idea what that emotion inside him was. Happiness? Nostalgia? Maybe. All he knew was that it wasn’t something he felt all the time. It was nice and warm. "Goku, you are my best friend"

***

Son Goku flew across the Earth, passing through all the places that were part of his journey.

Kami-Sama Dende, sharper than ever, felt his fleeting presence like a shooting star, along with Mr Popo, who placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Son Goku will always be remembered for his incredible life on Earth and his great deeds, isn't that right, Mr. Popo?" And his guardian and master simply nodded. When facts are spoken, there are no valid arguments.

Uub, who was meditating, felt Goku too, and he thanked his master mentally for everything he had taught him. 

Yamcha and Tenshinhan, who were on the fighters' planet, sensed Goku's presence and nodded to each other, and so did Chiaotzu and Puar.

Piccolo just looked up with his arms crossed and smiled. "Goku..."

The Sayajin warrior flew across the Earth, enjoying every field, every ocean, every light breeze caressing his face. He enjoyed this last lap to the fullest.

There was only one person missing, who was no longer on Earth… 

Yes, after all, he wasn’t able to find Chi-Chi. She was already gone. He felt terrible. His wife was part of him and he really wanted to see her just one more time. He didn’t know how to find her soul among many others in Paradise. It was just a light in its true form. It was too late. 

***

After reflecting on his thoughts and making one last memory on Earth, Goku felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned around. "Son Goku, are you ready?"

He sighed. He wasn't sure yet. He felt as if something was missing. He couldn’t leave permanently like any being in this universe yet. 

After completing his last training and duties in the dragon realm, which was creating the dragon balls again, he would have to leave. His time was up, it was running out and this time it was for good. Son Goku would rest in peace.

They were on Planet Kaioshin. The wind picked up and made the petals and flowers of the trees fall, as if it were autumn time.

"I don't know, Mr. Kaioshin..." Goku replied, lowering his eyes to nothing in particular on the planet's greenish floor.

"Now boy, you’ve already said goodbye to everyone before returning to the dragon kingdom that time, and this is the agreement: The dragon balls will return to Earth and you will leave. It is the law of the universe, child. You made that choice and now you will have to deal with the consequences” Old Kaioshin continued, along with Kibito and young Shin.

Goku frowned at that. Yes, he was perfectly aware of that. He felt it was time, and the Earth deserved the wonderful reign of the dragon balls again.

But he had to find her first, find some way to talk to her and say goodbye. Because this time he would leave forever. Chi-Chi deserved at least a goodbye, she really did this time, and he had something stuck in his throat, something he really needed to say to her.

Goku looked him in the eye. "But I didn't say goodbye to everyone. I missed someone, and you’ll have to help me with this" he said firmly, his hair waving in the wind caused by the beings with him.

"That someone has already died, I know. The dragon balls no longer have resuscitation powers, but there has to be another way... I can't leave without talking to her" there was despair in the saiyan’s eyes.

There was a maddening silence -as if everyone there was thinking of a solution for the warrior. After all, Goku deserved one last request, it was the least they could do after everything he’d done.

"I think I know hos..." Kaioshin replied. "Shenlong may no longer have the power to resurrect but he does have the power of time"

Shin and Kibito were confused by the old man's statement, but didn’t doubt his words. After all, he was still their most experienced and wisest deity.

"Power of time...?". Goku wondered for a few seconds.

Until realization dawned on him and his eyes widened, sparkling with joy.

"That's it! So I just need to go over there and-"

"But bear this in mind, Goku" Kaioshin interrupted him by raising a hand in front of him. "As soon as you’re done, your body will disappear and your soul will finally be at peace"

Goku nodded calmly. "Okay, well, I think it's goodbye this time, isn't it?"

The kaios in front of him bowed in gratitude, looking at him with admiration. "Goodbye Son Goku." said the youngest of them.

And then Goku teleported to Earth, after so long. At an impressive speed he brought the seven dragon balls together again. It was incredible that his life would end with them. He didn't need a radar to find them, he just knew where they were.

The dragon balls began to shine together.

"Show yourself, Shenlong, and grant my wish!"

The sky darkened, the golden light coming from of the spheres causing the Dragon to be reborn again. Goku couldn't help the nostalgic memories that were going through his mind while his eyes reflected Shenlong's light.

"State your wish and I will fulfill it according to my possibilities!"

"I wish to go back to Chi-Chi’s happiest time in her life... my wife."

The dragon stood still for a minute, making Goku tense up, his fists clenching.

"Your wish will be granted. You will have five minutes! Goodbye!" And so Shenlong's eyes shone red and a golden light surrounded Goku and took him from his current time.

After a trip through nothing but white and gold lights, he opened his eyes and sighed in surprise.

Goku was in an incredibly large garden, so beautiful that it looked like Paradise itself. He looked around and noticed several people in the place. They were laughing, talking, drinking and eating. He heard birds singing from several directions. It was a party, apparently.

Goku turned around and was faced with a lake and a nearby apple tree. He put his hand on the tree... this place looked familiar. He approached the water, which was shining like crystals, and the ground was covered by many flowers. Rose petals were falling as the breeze claimed them. Their smell was also familiar when he took one in his hand.

When he looked at his hand, he noticed that his outfit was actually different from the one he was wearing before. He kept looking at himself until an epiphany hit him: he was wearing a white tuxedo, with that itchy bow tie.

"So the happiest time in her life is-"

"Goku!"

Goku heard that young and smooth voice calling out to him, his eyes instantly looking in her direction. It was Chi-Chi, his wife. Of course, the happiest time in her life was their wedding. He smiled at that. He would’ve sworen it was when Gohan had graduated from college or anything related to his children.

How wrong he had been.

She was beautiful. Today, he had a better grasp at these things of course, but back then… ah, if only he had known. He would’ve been able to appreciate her beauty for much longer.

Her face, her flushed cheeks, her long lashes, her black and shiny eyes, her delicate pink lips and her ivory-white skin. Her strands of hair swayed gently in the wind.

"Goku?...". She softly called him again as she approached him. "What are you doing out here alone? I’ve been looking for you."

Goku blinked a few times, coming out of his daze. "Chi-Chi… H-hi.". The moment he saw her in front of him, he felt nervous, like a hesitant teenager.

Chi-Chi smiled at him humorously and gave a light laugh. It was one of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

"Okay, come with me, there’s a table full of sweets especially set up for my husband. I’m sure you don’t wanna miss it" Chi-Chi wrapped her arms around him, starting to lead him, but Goku stopped.

"No, wait a minute" he stopped her, taking her hand and coming closer to her. "I need to tell you something. It 's important."

Goku stared at her with such depth in his eyes, she couldn’t decipher it. "Goku ... are you okay?". She asked worriedly when she noticed that he looked a little serious and tense, placing a hand on his cheek lovingly.

He stood still, enjoying the warm touch of her hand under the glove of her wedding dress. He closed his eyes and smiled softly, caressing her hand on his face. Oh, how he’d missed this -he hadn’t known just how much until now. It’d been so long for him.

Surrounding her with his arms, Goku took a deep breath and swept away any hesitation, bringing back his confidence when he smiled at her and looked into her eyes lovingly, "Come here". And he brought her close to him. Of course that would startle her a little. After all, at the time a simple touch was enough to make him panic, but he was running out of time. "Chi-Chi, I just wanted to let you know that today was... I mean-". He corrected himself. "It is a very important day for me... and no matter what happens from now on, I’ll always be thinking about you"

He felt her still in his arms. That was not the reaction he was aiming for, but he hated this kind of goodbyes the most in the entire universe. However, it was too late and he had to continue.

The orange flower petals from Chi-Chi's bouquet whirled in the breeze behind Goku's neck, enveloping them both, as if nature wanted to keep that moment only for them. 

Chi-Chi wasn’t following Goku at all.Of course they’d been harboring a very strong admiration for each other during the months before the wedding, and she hoped that could develop into something stronger after the wedding when they’d have to live together.

But this… it was beyond her wildest dreams, it felt like an illusion. He was looking at her and talking to her as if he’d known her for an entire lifetime. 

There had to be something wrong with him, it could only be that. There was no other explanation. 

What did that mean? Is he leaving? Is he going to die? Is he going to give up on her?

Those thoughts were running through her mind now, haunting her.

"Goku... I don't understand. Why are you talking like that? You're scaring me..."

Her eyes began to waver as she looked into his, her voice was low and soft, as if she were about to cry. She was afraid, not of him, but of what his actions and words could mean.

It was a mystery how she would manage to read him so well since that day, since the beginning of their lives together.

Goku rested his forehead on hers with his eyes closed, and brushed his nose against hers, as if wanting to capture the aroma of flowers flowing from his wife.

"Don’t worry” he whispered when he opened his eyes to look at her. "It's okay, trust me."

Chi-Chi looked stunned and frightened at the same time, if that was even possible, and started to doubt him again. "No, it's not okay and if there's something wrong I can-"

The touch of his lips on hers silenced her instantly. She relaxed, closed her eyes and enjoyed that moment. Her body went limp against him completely. Even if he’d been desperate to do that, it was also the only way he could think of to show her that everything was fine.

The kiss was delicate, soft and warm. No lust or despair there, just the purest possible and most loving of feelings.

When Goku leaned back a little, he gave his wife in his arms a small smile. They could feel each other's warm breaths fanning their faces.

"I just wanted to say... that I love you. I will always love you, forever, no matter what. You have changed my life in a way that I can’t even fathom right now. Just believe me" He whispered.

Chi-Chi was red-faced, surprised, stunned, scared, in love ...

All at once, and she couldn’t take it.

Soon, tears were streaming from her eyes, but she smiled at him when she felt her feet back on the floor as he released her, his arms still around her and hers still around his neck.

She really loved those words, so sweet and unusual, certainly unusual, but they flew out of Goku’s mouth so abruptly that it was astonishing to her. He seemed different from her usual Goku, and that worried her. 

But why destroy this exciting mood with questions? That statement could be a good thing, so why doubt your husband? She will never doubt the words coming from someone she loves so much, and even more now.

She laughed weakly at her husband, "Son Goku, what happened to you...", she swallowed, teary eyes looking at him when he gave a weak laugh. "I love you too, silly, and I will never give up on how I feel about you."

Goku knew this very well, and she never gave up on their relationship, no matter the flaws they had and the obstacles they had to endure. Somehow, their love for each other was always stronger than anything that could arise.

And he wanted her to know that he loved her and still loves her in a way that he could’ve never imagined and that... man, and what a spectacular life they built together. Their children, their granddaughter and their friends. All of it, he wanted her to know all of it, he wanted her to know how grateful he is grateful for all that love.

And that he will love her for eternity.

Now Son Goku can rest in peace.

Chi-Chi hugged him tightly with her arms around his neck. She understood. She simply did.

He buried his head in the back of her neck and hugged her tightly too, absorbing every bit of he could from her essence.

Chi-Chi moved back and they stared into each other’s eyes. 

"Hey Chi-Chi! Look at the amazing shoes I got you as your wedding gift!" a family friend called out, interrupting the connection the couple had established with their eyes. 

“Are you coming?” Chi-Chi asked, looking at him while wiping her tears. 

Goku smiled and nodded. "Go ahead, I'll be right there."

And so his wife shook her head and slowly moved away from him. When there was enough distance, he felt his body crumble, becoming transparent until nothing was left.

He noticed that a little over five minutes had passed... 

"Thank you dragon balls". And those were the last words of one of the greatest warriors the world has ever known. Turning into nothing more and nothing less than bright points of light spreading like fireflies between the petals of flowers in the air, dancing in the autumn breeze.

Rest in peace, Son Goku!

The bravest and kindest fighter who ever lived. 

The End

#Goku e Chichi #Gochi #Dragon Ball #Farewell

[kat-tamin]

Kat Tamin SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Her love language is quality time and acts of service. She wants to spend time with people doing fun things that love her. She loves those nights where you just sit on the couch and talk for hours about anything and everything. She shows her love by doing things for you, making you coffee or tea, helping you move, picking up groceries for you. She’s the one who will change the lightbulb in your apartment that’s been out since you moved in.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Kat’s an amazing best friend to have, fiercely loyal and kind. She’s the type to come over in the middle of the night if you need her. She’s also super fun to be around, always with a good energy that seems to last forever. She’s good with a girl’s night in or a night out. She can be friends with the boys, talk sports and beer. She’s the type of person who just has an aura of coolness that draws people in like a magnet.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Actual cuddling, like arms around each other, faces pressed together for endless amounts of time isn’t her favourite. Small, short hugs are better. Her version of cuddling is sitting on the couch with your feet in her lap, her hand on your knee. Small touches are infinitely better than full on cuddling.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She wants to settle down eventually, but she still has time, so she’s in no rush.

Cooking is a no, unless it is very, very simple. She makes a deal with you as soon as you meet that if you do all the cooking, she will do all the dishes. That’s the only thing she’s good at, because the rest of her apartment is a mess. It’s not dirty, just seems full of things that aren’t in the right place.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

In her younger days, it would have been just a text. If you’re in a casual relationship, it still might be just a text. She doesn’t like to see people sad or disappointed. In longer term relationships, she has to make herself see you in person, she knows she owes you at least that. She absolutely hates it if you cry afterwards, because she feels so awkward and doesn’t know what to do.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage is not a must for Kat, but a commitment is. She really doesn’t see the point of just getting a piece of paper to say you will be together forever. If a wedding is something you really want, she can compromise on a courthouse ceremony and then a small reception at a bar or restaurant, with just a few close friends and family members. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Kat can be very soft when she needs to be. She uses techniques that she’s learned from work in emotional situations. In other situations, she might be more of a tough-love, especially to her friends who she thinks needs to hear it. Physically, again she can be. She drops kisses onto your forehead, or a hand brushing against your back as she passes by, but she also doesn’t like prolonged physical touch. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She loves giving hugs to anyone who needs one. She’ll give you a hug when she’s introduced to you. Her favourite hugs are bear hugs, when she sweeps you off your feet, holding you so tight you can’t breathe and you have to laugh. She likes it when you wrap her in your arms, your head in the crook of her shoulder.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Right out of the gate she’ll say things like “God I love you” when you bring her tea or cook her dinner. But when it comes to the big “I love you”, she waits a bit, until you’re in a committed relationship and she actually feels it. You’ll probably end up saying it first, and she’ll get a big smile and say it back, her heart so full.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She’s not really a jealous person, she trusts you completely. If a random person is hitting on you, she’s more concerned about your feelings of discomfort in the situation. She’ll step in to make you feel more safe, and send them packing.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kat’s kisses are great of course. Soft, sweet kisses that leave you weak in the knees or hard, messy kisses that take your breath away. Her favourite place to kiss you is the top of your head or forehead. It makes her feel connected to you on an emotional level. She likes kisses on her neck or shoulder, even her ear. A smile is instantly on her face, even if it does tickle and make her squirm.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She’s the eldest child of four, so she does have experience with kids. She’s comfortable with them, and enjoys spending time with younger children. However, she’s more than happy to send them back to their parents at the end of the night. She’s definitely child-free, no interest in being pregnant. Maybe once she’s higher in the ranks, she’ll take in a couple of teenagers having a rough time, but babies are an absolute no.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Kat sets her alarm ridiculously early, even on her days off. She likes to go to the boxing gym before work and get in a workout, or a jog around the park. She loves it when you join her, but understands when you just want to sleep in. Those days, she leaves the coffee pot or kettle on along with a note saying she loves you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Weeknights after work are all about relaxation. Take out or you cooking dinner and some good old Netflix and chill. Weekends are when Kat goes out, usually dragging you to a new bar or club with her friends. She just wants to be out with people, having as much fun as she can before she has to go to work, where it’s the opposite of fun.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Kat’s a bit of an open book. She tells you straight up what she wants in a relationship so she doesn’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want the same thing. She always tells dates that she’s bi during the first few minutes after meeting, so can weed out the ones who hate it and the creeps who love it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

She doesn’t really get angry, not at you. When she’s at work, with perps, yes she can get angry quickly. She’s protective over victims, so her feelings are always out in the open. If she does get angry at you, it’s probably not because of you, you just happen to be in the room. She can take out her frustration over cases on you if she’s not careful. She realizes quickly that she crossed a line and says how sorry she is, and what happened that day to make her angry.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

She’s a detective, so of course she remembers a lot about you. You can talk about a random Aunt and she’ll be like, “the one who lives in Florida with her younger boyfriend you don’t like?”. You don’t even remember you saying half the things she mentions about your life.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

The day she told you she wants to be your girlfriend. It had been a decision that she’s been mulling over, wondering if she was ready to be with you and only you. But the minute she says it, and you get so happy, she knows she made the right decision. You kiss her and she’s never been happier.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

She works at a job where she sees the worst of the worst, so yeah she’s protective of you. She knows what happens to young people in New York City who aren’t careful. She buys you your first can of mace and shows you basic self-defence skills. She always makes sure to sit between you and randoms on the subway, not afraid to flash her badge if creeps get too close.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She comes from a home with the motto: It’s the thought that counts. She didn’t grow up with money so she’s uncomfortable with spending huge amounts, especially on things like dates. She’s all about the experience of things, would rather give you concert tickets than jewelry. When it comes to anniversaries, she’ll just take you to your favourite places and give you handmade gifts that remind you of your relationship.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She’s incredibly stubborn, and doesn’t like to admit when she says or does something wrong. This causes issues, but if you explain carefully about how she hurt you, she’ll apologize sincerely. 

Less seriously, her messy apartment drives you bonkers.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She likes to look good, but isn’t super vain. She’s careful picking out her wardrobe, wanting to project confidence and a certain image so people can’t judge her. Her makeup and hair are always kept simple, unless it’s a special occasion. She’s most comfortable in her sweats and old t-shirts.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Kat wouldn’t feel incomplete without anyone. She is fiercely independent, a whole woman with her own interests and ambitions. In fact, if you said you felt incomplete without her, she would probably be turned off and end up dumping you.

X = Xtra (A random head canon for them.)

Kat has a mental calendar of every cheap or free event in the city. If you say you’re bored, she has a list of things you could do in that moment. Off-off-off Broadway plays that are terrible, cultural festivals in the park, free art shows at a local college. She reads the flyers that are stuck to light poles and bulletin boards. She’s the only one you know who takes pamphlets that are passed out on the street, advertising something new you could do together.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She hates neediness. She’s very ambitious, and will always put her job first. If you can’t deal with her ever-changing schedule, you're not the one. If you text her too much, or complain about her not responding, she’s instantly turned off. 

In general, she thinks racists, homophobes, misogynists, TERFs, and Republicans are scum.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

She grew up sharing a bed with her sister, so she always sleeps on her side, curled up small, leaving you lots of room. She’s always cold, so she steals all the blankets. You end up getting your own separate quilt for yourself so you can sleep in peace.

#kat tamin #svu #kat tamin headcanons #headcanons #*

[fangirlovestuff]

Holding Out for a Hero- Steve Rogers x Reader Pt.11 (epilogue)

a/n-  Hey lovely people! I am so frustrated for taking like 3 weeks to upload this last one, but it was just hard to say goodbye to it I guess. Thank you so much to everyone who read, liked or reblogged - going through this journey with you was amazing! Song lyrics are in bold. Enjoy <3

part 10

"Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need!"

You and Julie sang in sync into the microphones in your hands. Well, maybe screamed would be a better word, but the guys didn't seem to care. Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch, Bucky with a phone in his hand filming you while Steve simply laughed heartily as you and Jules sang.

You were in the compound's karaoke room, because apparently Tony Stark thinks of literally everything when he plans a building like the Avengers compound. You were thrilled when you found this place, showing it to Julia. Together, you convinced the boys to come with you on a double date to karaoke. Well, it was more like the two of you singing and them laughing and filming you, but you were having a great time.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night He's gotta be strong And he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight"

You tossed your hair while you sang, gesturing theatrically with your body as Jules did the same next to you.

"I need a hero I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light He's gotta be sure And it's gotta be soon And he's gotta be larger than life!"

You looked into Steve's eyes as you sang the cheesy song, smiling widely at him. His eyes twinkled, head tossed back in laughter, and his look reflected how you felt - perfectly happy.

Steve and you were going stronger than ever, and so were Bucky and Jules. After a year of dating, Bucky proposed to Julia. You looked over at her, the ring sparkling on her hand that clutched the microphone. She looked so free. Julie often reminded you of a lioness in the way she carried herself, her proud and cheeky personality shining through in her stunning smile. You were glad she finally found her lion. Bucky was filming with a smile on his lips. Around Julia, his laugh was getting easier and easier as time went on, and you were glad to see them make each other happy like this.

Steve was watching you and laughing so hard he looked like he was going to fall out of his seat. You winked at him as you continued your song and he smiled and shook his head playfully at your antics. You felt your love for him shining in your heart, so bright you could burst. You never wasted a chance to express your love to one another. Whether it was words – when you woke up, when you went to sleep, when you were going or returning from a mission or anything in between – or acts, Steve always made you feel loved. Little notes saying "went to train, be back soon, xo" were a common occurrence with you two, and so were hugs, kisses and cuddles. Even as a year of your relationship was close by, you couldn't get enough of each other, and you wouldn't have it any other way. Knowing Steve was a great privilege – you don’t often come by a person who's so smart, kind, funny, and emotionally supportive, and also is Captain America. But loving Steve was a gift you didn’t know if you deserved, but were thankful for every waking moment. Loving Steve was like eating ice cream in the summer, a cozy blanket when it's raining outside, and petting a cute dog all at once. Steve was your safe place, your hero really. Not a day went by that you didn't cherish him in, and the same was the other way around. You fit like two puzzle pieces finally coming together. If a year ago someone would have told you that you were going to date Captain America, you would've laughed in their face. But you were, and there was nothing that could've made you happier.

You finished the song and collapsed dramatically onto Steve's lap, laughing. "Can you get me some water please?" you pouted playfully. "That was a hell of a performance, so yeah, sure." he chuckled. "My hero," you winked as he went away to grab a glass of water, laughing.

Later that evening, you were all sitting in an Italian restaurant, the very same one where you and Steve had your first date. You were all laughing and talking over each other, enjoying the excellent food and even better company. Your dessert arrived, an absolutely delicious looking tiramisu. You were about to dig in before you noticed a sparkle between the cream layers. You prodded it with your spoon, taking in out and discovering a silver diamond ring. You gasped, turning to Steve, who was looking just as puzzled as you felt. You raised your brow at him, and he quickly shook his head. You felt a pang of disappointment. You and Steve never really talked about getting married, but based on Jules and Bucky's engagement, you anticipated a ring coming to you very soon. Apparently, Steve didn't share the sentiment, you noticed as you took in his seemingly mortified face. You swallowed your disappointment and smiled as you called for your waitress.

"There was a ring in the tiramisu that's not ours," you explained to the embarrassed waitress.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! We must have mixed it up with table 4, the poor guy must not understand what's happening. Maybe he thinks his boyfriend swallowed the ring," she chuckled nervously. "Anyway, I'm very sorry and we'll bring you another one shortly, on the house." She smiled at all of you and took away the tiramisu and the ring. Jules, Bucky and Steve were quick to laugh it off, returning to their conversation, but you just couldn't focus. The ring sent you down a very immersive train of thought, about you and Steve and how he might not want to get married, or he doesn’t want to get married to you.

You remained quiet throughout the ride back to the compound, contemplating your insecurities. No one seemed to notice.

You got back to the compound and jumped out of the car. "Good night guys, I think I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm pretty tired." You tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

"But we wanted to watch a movie," Jules complained. Bucky's arm was wrapped around her, a united front.

"Well you guys should go ahead, I'm gonna go as well," Steve said, taking your hand in his. He smiled and you returned his smile. Your sadness started to fade into the background, as if telling you that you could deal with it tomorrow. But right now, with Steve's hand holding yours, you felt your heart swell with love. Jules and Bucky were already ahead, but you and Steve took your time, walking slowly into the building and the elevator.

When you got to your floor, you saw a trail of rose petals from the elevator door. You sent Steve a quizzical look, but he shrugged and smiled, squeezing your hand in his. You followed the trail all the way to your room, smiling at Steve before opening the door.

In front of you was a sea of flowers, and you run to smell them, leaving Steve's hand. You noticed Jules and Bucky were also there, smiling widely. You sent them a puzzled smile before you turned around to thank Steve for the flowers, and you found him on one knee, holding a little black box in his hands. Oh.

You gasped, your eyes immediately welling up. "Steve?" you asked, a small smile forming on your lips. For the entire night, you've been thinking about how Steve's eyebrows furrowed when he saw the ring. You thought it was because he'd never thought about getting you a ring, that he hadn’t wanted to. Apparently, it was just because some random mix-up beat him to it.

Steve looked up at you, his eyes shining as well. "Hey sweetheart," he chuckled in response to your question. "You know, before I caught you that day when you jumped from the elevator, I was thinking about how the new recruits are gonna be, how are they gonna find their place around here. And then you landed right into my arms, and you were so pretty I couldn't help but think your place should be there, in my arms, all of the time." He was beaming up at you now.

"Smooth," you couldn't help but comment as you beamed back down at him.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "And then I got to see just pretty wasn't enough to describe you. You are overwhelmingly beautiful, inside and out. You're strong, and smart, and funny. And I thought I could never deserve having you in my arms. You were a shining star and all I could do was watch from the earth as you soared through the sky." Tears started to fall from your eyes as you smiled at him. "But then I jumped; I jumped and you were willing to catch me. Maybe not to be in my arms the entire time, but to hold my hand. And I have never been luckier. I love you," he took a deep breath, "more than words can describe. So, will you make me the luckiest guy in the universe once more and hold my hand forever?" he popped open the box, revealing the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, "Will you marry me?"

You nodded your head so quickly you thought your neck would snap, but fortunately, it didn't. You knelt down next to Steve, wrapping your hands around his neck. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes," you smiled, accentuating each yes with a kiss – to his cheeks, to his nose.

He grinned at you and drew away, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto your finger. "I love you, Steve," you touched your forehead to his. "I love you too," he replied, kissing you gently yet passionately, making you feel so loved like only he knew how to. You put your hands on his cheeks, feeling the ring on your finger prominently. You smiled into the kiss, breaking apart but staying close to each other, breathing the same air.

"Congratulations!" you heard a shout from across the room. You turned your head, smiling. You were so focused on Steve's speech you had forgotten Jules and Bucky were still there. Jules' eyes were shining with unshed tears and Bucky was smiling from ear to ear, their phones in their hands. Bucky came forward to clap Steve on the shoulder and embrace him tightly before hugging you, whispering in your ear, "he'd get you the moon if you told him to."

"He's my sun," you whispered back. You pulled apart, smiling at each other, understanding you both love this punk more than anything. Jules hugged Steve, whispering something you couldn't make out into his ear, and then came to you, wrapping her arms around you in a crushing bear hug. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered, her voice wavering with emotion. "Thank you," you whispered back.

"Oh, the pictures!" Jules exclaimed before she reached for her phone. She opened it to reveal a stunning picture of you and Steve; your hands cupping his face, foreheads touching. "Jules," you smiled and but your lip, getting emotional over the beautiful moment she captured perfectly.

Soon Bucky and Jules left you to your own to celebrate, and you did, your night filled with declarations of love and delicate touches.

And years later, the picture was hanging off the wall of Steve's and your house, adorned in a golden frame. You were lucky enough to marry your hero, and love him more and more every day for the rest of your lives.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #Steve Rogers x Female Reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagines #avengers imagine #avenger!reader #MCU fic #avengers #bucky barnes #original character