#like I'll take a clearly toxic relationship at this point if it means someone will let me hold them

[afoggygoose]

In so easy to manipulate, how do i have no bitches taking advantage of me

#like I'll take a clearly toxic relationship at this point if it means someone will let me hold them #i am constantly touch starved #I'm just having a moment

[maxphilippa]

The Misinterpretation of Taco's and Mic's relationship. [An toxic "friendship" analysis.]

Today I bring another analysis that yes, was an option on the pool I made, and I do know that other option won, but I'll do that post once I feel like it (most likely tomorrow since I find it rather easy to do). But today I will be talking about one of the most sugarcoated relationships in the fandom, and that is Taco's and Mic's relationship.

And before you read this and get angry at me: it is not my problem if you view them in a different way, this is an analysis, nothing more, and this is what I realized meanwhile rewatching S2 again and again as time paases. I am not asking for opinions if you will come as aggressive towards it and I apologize if this comes as mean, but I am very tired of how some people might act whenever someone shares a different point of view.

However, in this post we'll be discussing topics such as: manipulation, self esteem issues, and such. If any of these topics are complicated for you, just a heads up as well.

Alright. Let's start with the basics.

Their first interaction(s).

Okay, for starters, their first interaction was already started with a left foot, with Taco reading Mic's dairy out loud and pointing out the entries in which Mic felt the most vulnerable as a whole, let's take in count the fact that Mic was already struggling a lot with everything and how her own team leader was treating her, so hearing someone list all of her insecurities outloud in a careless tone was certainly not the thing that she needed in such an complicated emotional moment.

She was, in fact, so stressed and felt basically worthless, that she started crying just from hearing that, since it does count as "making fun of her struggles" in a way.

She's obviously affected by this, again, this is THEIR FIRST CANON INTERACTION.

And Mic is obviously hurt by this, her voice even breaking a bit.

And she quickly takes an defensive stance the moments she sees Taco as well. Of course she would, she was in an emotional moment and she just touched sensitive topics for her.

And here we go, my favorite part! Taco belittling Mic and making fun of her! (It is not my favorite, if you can't tell, I hate it.)

Okay, so as we can get from their first interaction, what Taco does is essentially use a mix of flattery and making fun of Mic so Mic would listen to her. Taco tells Mic that she's bold and that her playing method is diverse, but however, what she needs is direction on what she does after all. Again, she says this as she then insults Mic again, and basically tells her that she would be nothing without her help, and makes her doubt herself as well.

Let alone that Taco's intentions are pretty clear ever since they first interact, her main interest being half of Mic's gainings if Mic won the challenge thanks to her. Taco clarifies that it is for bussiness matters, nothing more. And she makes sure that Mic has doubts over her decision.

So if you realize she still continues the flattery + making fun of Mic as a person, and then, Taco ends up telling her "well, but that's your choice"

That's.

That's an manipulation tactic.

To make the person feel guilty over the things they did and reconsider their own choices. The cherry on the top is that after Taco crosses Mic's boundaries, tells her that she is PATHETIC (and that's an strong word), she ends up telling her that she can be much more.

You would thing that things could get better? Answer is no.

Let's take a look to Mic as an character. She's selfless. In Brian's own words, Mic goes under the radar always, but she always wants to make things fair for everyone as much as she can.

So she felt guilty and uncomfortable over the whole first interaction Taco and her had.

She is uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do after this whole interaction, and you can realize this by the way she talks and shows herself to others, she's clearly stressed enough.

Mic didn't want to be alone after what happened with Taco, and Nickel telling her "especially you, Mic, you're kind of an wildcard" was something that made Mic angry as well.

She didn't want to be alone after that happened.

When Fan and Mic are talking about Spoiled Lemon "A Party" song, Mic says "So everything he does is decided by someone else? Nice message", and that's foreshadowing to what Taco does to Mic shortly after.

When it comes to the words of gaining, even Mic shows her distaste at Taco's words. She's not having it and she's tired. And yes, I do know that the scene plays it out as an small joke, but Mic still says it.

And in their next interaction- the first thing Taco does is insult Mic and basically tell her again that she needs her.

So. You guys can see an small pattern here. But that's somewhat obvious, after all, Taco herself said that she likes to mess with people.

The Line At Spoiled Lemon's Concert falling on them.

"She made me feel like I needed her."

Taco's manipulation towards Microphone happened. Taco made Microphone feel like she needed her in order to succeed in the game, despite Mic trying to have her own voice, this also goes down to their final interaction on the show, Mic finally breaking up their contact.

Because Taco hurted her in ways that are profound. Mic never needed her to begin with.

Pushing Mic's boundaries.

Let's begin with an small fact. Mic started to trust in Taco because Taco actually did help her on the maze and their small interaction at SL's show shows it. However, just because Mic considers Taco an associate now, a friend even, doesn't mean that Taco's behaviour goes on a better direction. Even though she... "stops" belittling Mic at times, she still uses flattery for Mic to stay next to her side. Because that's the main thing with Mic.

She gets attached to those who show that they care for her. She got attached to Soap, and even got somewhat invested on Cheesy after seeing how her opinion actually mattered a lot for her.

Taco made Mic think that she needed her, and that's explicit, though Mic even questions it.

"But it can't be manipulation if she's conscious of it"

It can be. But the thing is that Mic started trusting Taco. That's why the tactics seem to be not there, but Mic's discomfort and uncertainty remains despite everything.

Taco pushes Mic's boundaries and gets angry when Mic "threw away" her gift (the taser), but just as Mic was TRYING TO EXPLAIN HERSELF (imagine explaining yourself to someone as to why you couldn't hurt someone that has ultimately helped you, that's not healthy), Taco quickly does flattery again, and that reassures Mic that she's doing something good.

Taco is telling Mic what she wants to hear.

The thing is that Taco is doing to Mic what she did to Pickle.

It isn't downright explicit until Ep 14 + once you rewatch those scenes after what Mic says, but you can tell in a way. Taco accomodates her working style according to Mic's personality and behaviour.

Because Taco later on does take a friend-lier approach, but that is because Mic considered Taco a friend, and if acting like a friend is what would make Mic stay, then so be it. Kind of like what she did to Pickle, she acted as his best friend until the very end, and when she failed to get what she wanted, she said stuff to him that marked him forever.

Now she knows what and what not to do to make sure that her plan goes well.

Mic is sensitive and naturally has an heart of gold. So she has to adapt herself to that. Taco becomes softer, yes, but she's still manipulating Mic during it.

And let's not forget a very VERY important fact about them too, and it's how Knife was the one that reached out/noticed that something was wrong.

Knife, Pickle's best friend.

Knife, who has seen how Taco hurted Pickle on the past and saw how she admitted that she was just playing around and everything.

Knife, who saw the damage that Taco did.

Yes, Knife was the main factor on Mic's growth alongside Taco, but the thing is that Knife was there to make Mic realize that Taco was using her.

And now, that means something too. Knife is part of Taco's past. Let's not forget the fact that Mic knows little to nothing about it, but after what Knife tells her about Pickle, she reconsiders her choices for a brief minute. But Mic defends Taco. Because Taco finally has what she wanted: Mic believes in her, therefore, she won't leave her side. Mic defends Taco despite everything because she genuinely thinks that she's changing and found it nice when Taco admitted that she wasn't being completely honest.

But let's also talk over the fact that Taco has been constantly pushing Mic to hurt/let her friends get hurt in many ways, and meanwhile Mic managed to make it up for the Balloon situation, Mic straight up stopped everything just to save Knife and tried as much as she could to get him on their side.

It gets so bad to the point where even after she tells Knife that Taco's changing and if he doesn't want to join them, that he could at least not say anything, but Knife gets emotionally vulnerable with her.

And that's something she didn't exactly expect.

Hearing Knife mention how Trophy manipulated him, when they're talking about Taco, made Mic think too much again.

In fact, Mic is sad + stressed after what Knife told her.

Then yes, on the next episode, Mic does joke about what Knife told her, but we know that she really wouldn't do that at all- she wants to think that Taco is her friend, and jokes around like you would do with one, but even then Taco did drop her after Mic said it.

Which is ironic, because Mic dropped Taco first before Taco could do a Pickle again.

Episode 14.

The ep 14 has many Mic and Knife interactions and shows the down fall of her friendship with Taco, but let's talk about the Knife scenes first before getting to the fall of their friendship.

Knife reaches out once again and tells Mic to stop doing that to herself- to have some dignity, that is, because Mic can do better, but Mic once again decides to defend Taco because... Taco's her friend, right? She has a voice here, no one is shutting her down, no one is dragging her...

Right?

The timing of what Taco is doing to MePad as Mic speaks is intentional as well. It is what Taco has been doing to Mic since the start.

Literally. She literally shut Mic down by touching her voice button the first time they met. Like. It's right there.

Again, Microphone's body language whenever she's with Taco is rather awkward, and of course she's not a big fan of the fact that Taco harmed one of her hosts to do something. Mic has always been trying to do things without hurting others directly, so Taco being able to hurt someone is something that she doesn't like.

Also, adding to the fact that Mic wanted Taco to promise that she wouldn't hurt anybody once they go to save Fan, and yet decided to believe Taco when she said "not necessary, teamwork prevails".

But of course, as all things... the wolf in sheeping's clothing will eventually show it's true self.

She got herself INFRONT of an species she doesn't know, TO PROTECT THEM, instead of trusting Taco

AND THAT SAYS A LOT AS WELL.

It's not only because Mic realized the truth, but because she puts everyone else first before her own person, she's too selfless and didn't even question trying to protect The Shimmer, she just did because she wouldn't get behind what Taco did any longer.

And now, with the end of their friendship...

"See? This is what happens when you listen to me, Mic. Delectable, isn't it?

Finally, a taste of recognition, finally, I can finally-"

It's the realization sinking in.

It's Mic finally realizing that Knife was right.

That Taco was using her the same way she used Pickle.

The same way she used her once best friend.

She never had a friend in Taco.

And Mic even says it- it just proves my point again of "Taco accomodating herself in order to maintain Mic by her side", MIC HERSELF SAYS IT.

"Making him feel like he was doing what he wanted? Like he was heard? I thought I gained a friend. Turns out? I gained nothing."

And when Taco says "surely it couldn't have been nothing-" is her denial- because she couldn't just mess up like she did with Pickle, right?

But she did. She was alone, again.

And Mic shows it via turning her gain down.

Which is a nice call back to Taco saying "it's your game, you have so much to gain", Mic has nothing to gain after that.

Mic's Elimination and The End Of Her Character arc.

This part is the most explicit one when it comes to how toxic their friendship actually was.

How Mic started doubting about herself, how she started explaining that she didn't make the best choices, how she felt guilty over that.

Goddamit, even Mic says "I heard it so often... that I never heard myself.", when referring to the voice in her head.

The realization of Taco's true self was so bad that Mic started having an identity crisis and started doubting if everything she did was because she wanted.

And it's not even doubting either, she affirms that.

And the aftermath is complicated since Mic is still having troubles accepting it. She still cares for Taco because she thought of her as a friend, yes, but she knows that what Taco did wasn't okay and how badly she hurted her.

But Dios mio, Knife even says that Mic looks relieved after cutting ties with Taco because she is. She no longer has to be around someone who lied to her, who made her feel like she was special when it was all just sugarcoated lies.

And she warns Knife about Taco afterwards. Mic wanted a friend, and she might have lost Taco, but she knew what to do thanks to Knife. He was the friend she needed the most.

Of course then Taco shows up and seems to have regrets as well. Do I think that she regrets it? Yes, in a way, the same way she regrets what she did to Pickle, but saying sorry won't fix anything either.

Microphone doesn't want to know anything about her, the same way Pickle does.

After all, that's why she left the show and decided to start over.

And with that, I'm done.

#inanimate insanity #ii #inanimate insanity invitational #ii 2 #ii 3 #inanimate insanity season 2 #inanimate insanity microphone #inanimate insanity taco #inanimate insanity knife #inanimate insanity pickle #ii knife #ii microphone #ii pickle #ii taco #microphone ii #pickle ii #taco ii #knife ii #object show #max overanalyzes lore

[clairedaring]

I just have a question because I saw your tags in the msi gifset. When you said Ming would have thoughts on he would take care of Joe and Joe should quit, wasn't he still hung up on Tong? Because had Tong reciprocated, the promise of taking care of Joe would mean nothing, no?

hiiii nonnie

i really wish i could share the excerpt of the novel but that would spoil the events of ep.4 this week. so instead i will say answer your question in the most non-spoilery way as possible.

sooooo for my interpretation of the characters, by the time ming and joe had settled into their relationship of 6 months/year (depending on whether you're talking abt the novel or series), i'd say that ming had pretty much set aside his feelings for tong and i don't think ming ever truly LIKED tong as a person but it's more like being attracted to the visual/physicality of a guy (think how you like someone very superficially for their face, you just like staring at them).

and i'd say when mingjoe had settled in their relationship, ming already knew he LIKED being treated nicely by joe. and in the series, you can see it even more clearly through his reciprocal of nice gestures to joe (bare minimum really but oh well that's the nicest we get of ming in this first timeline).

because for me, i don't view him crying over tong as him being still hung up on tong but rather just pain from finally letting go of this unrequited love for an unattainable someone he's had for so long.

but yea back to the point of his promise to take care of joe... now i did say i won't spoil it but i can give vague hints of the context in which it happens... and hopefully after this week's episode airs, i'll remember to share the novel excerpt from this part because i just know the series will definitely NOT adapt it as it is in the novel (it is so so so incredibly toxic it is insane, yet i enjoyed it)

so by the time yan ming xiu (ming) had said that promise to zhou xiang (joe), he had pretty much made up his mind that he wants zx and zx only but his possessiveness over zx made him do... some not very nice things that will happen this week... so please stay tune 😅

#claire replies #my stand in #my stand in the series #he makes very very stupid decisions #but the reason i know he was serious abt it bc the thing he did to joe was very very very horrible but the next day he did keep his promise #the only problem was that the act he committed was simply too horrible for joe to be anywhere near him. much less accepting his 'support' #I CAN ONLY SPOIL SO FAR PLEASE STOP ME #msi thoughts

[takaraphoenix]

I came across a post that, paraphrased, went roughly "Every time you see someone speak up against censorship, it turns out to be about incest or something problematic".

And. Yes, that's kind of the point, because nobody is trying to censor the 100% wholesome, morally upstanding vanilla ships?? That's not where the conversation about censorship starts, and for a reason?

The way the point just COMPLETELY goes over these people's heads.

Censorship starts out with the "problematic" content. That's how they get their foot in the door with EXACTLY these people like that OP. Show them that no, no, we are just concerned, just want to take out this Clearly Morally Wrong stuff. That's fine, right?

No. Even if you yourself find the content horrible and would never want to touch it, it has a right to EXIST because the moment you open the door to censorship, you lose control of what gets censored and why.

And the really pathetic part about this is that most antis operate from a place of utter hypocracy, to begin with.

In every single fandom I've been in where there were antis, judging and harassing others for the "problematic" content they consumed, the antis themselves were hiding behind ships just as bad, if not WORSE.

It doesn't even take much efford to list things about antis' supposedly morally superior ships that makes them problematic. Heck. Most ships have something about them that constitutes unhealthy or toxic if it were a real relationship. Throw a ship at me, I'll tell you why it's problematic.

But these people's false assumption is that their personal interpretation of morals is the one that will be applied in this purge and only the content they dislike would then be censored while the thing they love would NEVER fall victim to censorship, so a bit of censorship would be fine, to clean up fandom.

That's not how it's going to be. Your own problematic fave gets censored too, because no blind eye and bending over backward to explain why this particular thing is somehow ~different~, despite being the exact same.

And once we're through with the biggest offenders? The search for problematic content will be widened, more things will be targeted and deemed problematic, based on a definition of the term even they may no longer agree on - but it's too late, because the door's wide open now.

It's less about protecting one specific fetish to get your rocks off to, it's about acknowledging that these are the conversation starters used to convince others to open the door and let censorship in and we need to stop it before it gets in, even if that means defending other people's right to create fictional things that we, personally and individually, may dislike or even find disgusting.

Because once you start limiting something like art, free speech and fiction in general, how those lines will be drawn becomes blurry and that power WILL be abused by the wrong people.

So let's not give them that power.

#Censorship #Purity Cult #Discourse

[linabirb]

[PJSK OC Unit Introduction #01] Pain Killer

THE GIRLS!! ARE HERE!! YAY!! please be nicey to them...

more information about them under the cut!

(note: when it comes to their designs, their names are written in "first name, last name" order, but in their profiles their names are written in "last name, first name" order. also, about everyone's covers, at this point i feel like pjsk has so many covers, i can type literally any vocaloid song title and i will be able to find a pjsk cover of it, so if i say that a unit could cover a song that already has a canon cover, simply nod and agree with me 👍 also also, even if someone has "vocalist" as their position, obviously others sing too. also also ALSO, this takes place in the original timeline and not the brand new world one.)

(warnings for descriptions of physical and mental health problems, mentions of death, self-harm, toxic relationships and suicide, also this unit overall has a hospital/medical theme, so if you're not comfortable with that. yeah)

SEKAI Info.

Unit name: Pain Killer (i thought this would be a fun name for a unit with a medical theme! and it also has a deeper meaning, like, all of these girls' lives are painful in their own ways and they're tired of dealing with it, so they're going to KILL IT. but it also can be interpreted as them trying to get rid of this pain not in the most healthy way and getting addicted to it..)

Members (names are written in the "first name, last name" order): Yuuki Satou, Sae Chou, Kanami Nagai, Inori Watabe

Virtual singers (i've said this before, i'll be going with different vocaloids, but i'll still keep at least one "standard" virtual singer in every unit): Hatsune Miku, Oliver, Flower, Kaito, Utatane Piko, Mayu

Virtual singers' roles:

This SEKAI's Miku is a nurse and she seems to be very kind, thoughtful and soft-spoken. She cares a lot about the patients and the unit members and tries her best to give them good advice. It still feels like she's hiding something though.. When it comes to her design, her pigtails are more wavy and the tips of her hair are soft pink. She has two-colored eyes as well and they are both pink and teal.

Oliver is one of the patients. He's a very shy and kind-hearted boy who cares about the unit members and other patients' health and needs more than his own. Maybe it's because he enjoys the attention he gets as a patient with the most severe condition a little too much? His design is overall pretty similar to his original one minus the outfit and he wears a hospital gown similar to the ones Pain Killer members wear.

Flower is one of the patients as well. She clearly hates being here and she wishes she could just heal from all her pain already. Despite her cold and intimidating personality, she seems to be getting along with Oliver. Her design is very similar to her V4 standard one, she wears a hospital gown and there are some bandaids on her body and she has an eyepatch as well.

Kaito is the doctor that takes care of everyone and checks up on them. He seems to be very similar to WxS!Kaito as he gives off this older brother/father figure vibe, but he can be strict when needed, for example, when the unit members are refusing to take a break and rest. His design isn't that different from the original one minus the outfit, but he also wears glasses and has a hair gradient that goes from a darker shade of blue to the lighter one. If you remove his glasses, you can see that he actually has dark circles under his eyes.

Utatane Piko is an android who helps with detecting the patients and the unit members' health issues. He looks a lot like a human and you can notice the robot-like elements of his design only if you look closer. He seems to be only doing his job at first and not really having any feelings about it, but he actually takes it very seriously and gets attached to everyone in the process.

Mayu is a nurse as well, just like Miku, and she seems to be very overprotective when it comes to the patients. She always feels like they're still too sick and she doesn't trust them when they say that they're feeling better. It's possible for her to start feeling this way about the unit members too. Outside of that, she's a very cheerful and talkative person who is definitely the most extroverted one out of all Hospital SEKAI's virtual singers.

SEKAI creator: All unit members

SEKAI name: Hospital SEKAI

SEKAI description: This SEKAI is able to change its appearance based on the unit members' physical and mental health state. When at least one of them is suffering, the SEKAI will look like some kind of abandoned hospital that you would see in a horror game and if all members are doing okay, the hospital will look completely fine. The patients (Oliver and Flower)' physical and mental state is also directly connected to certain members. Of course, they can't actually die, but they can still feel pain.

Characters Info.

Satou Yuuki.

Name: Satou Yuuki (佐藤優希) (her last name means "assistance, help, aid" and "wisteria", her first name means "gentleness, kindness" and "rare, hope, beg for") 

Age: 17 years old

Unit: Pain Killer

Position: Vocalist and guitarist

Gender: Female (She/her)

Birthday: July 1st (Cancer)

Height: 168 cm

Family: Father, mother, grandmother

School: Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy (Class 2-A)

Club/committee: Health committee

Hobbies: Learning history of medicine, helping out at an animal shelter

Talents: Making people and animals trust her

Favorite food: Green apples

Least favorite food: Red apples

Dislikes: Seeing someone in pain

Appellations:

"Satou" (Sae)

"Yuuki-san" (Kanami)

"Yuuyuu" (Inori)

Image color: #F1C5FC

Character description: Yuuki is a rather shy and clumsy girl who finds it hard to socialize and make friends, but there's just something about her that makes people like her anyway. Because someone who was very important to her passed away recently due to illness, she became even more quiet and started to think about isolating herself from others, but after meeting a new student who seems to be having health problems as well, Yuuki changed her mind and decided to become friends with her, hoping that she can make her life better and at least a bit easier. Yuuki overall seems to have some kind of savior complex and she's obsessed with helping others and it's hard to say if she does so because she's genuinely that kind or because she wants those people to feel like they owe her.. or because her self-esteem is so low that she needs at least some kind of "proof" that she's still needed and she still can be useful.

Trivia:

She doesn't like red apples because she thinks they aren't as "juicy" as green ones.

Even though she's a huge scaredy cat, she's not afraid of needles at all and actually seems to have some kind of weird fascination with them.

Her favorite animals are dogs, especially big ones.

She's a bit jealous of Ichika and Saki's relationship and wishes to have something similar.

Interestingly, she actually doesn't remember that "important person" that well and she can't even remember if it was a family member, a friend or a significant other. It's possible that her memories related to that person became blurry because of trauma. She doubts that it was a family member though since she's sure her family would've told her about it and she would've noticed something different about their behavior.

Her hair is dyed and her natural hair color is lavender. She dyed it shortly after that "important person"'s death and she thinks it's possible that these two colors were that person's favorite.

Her personality is the reason why she's wearing an outfit more similar to doctor's rather than a hospital gown when performing in the Hospital SEKAI. She sees herself as a doctor and not a patient unlike the other members.

Chou Sae.

Name: Chou Sae (姚咲) (her last name means "beautiful, good-looking" and her first name means "blossom, flourish")

Age: 17 years old

Unit: Pain Killer

Position: Keyboardist

Gender: Female (She/her)

Birthday: January 16th (Capricorn)

Height: 172 cm

Family: Father, mother

School: Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy (2-A)

Club/committee: Library committee

Hobbies: Reading horror novels, playing piano

Talents: Not getting scared easily

Favorite food: Cheese buns

Least favorite food: Hamburger

Dislikes: Crowded places, forgetting her cane

Appellations:

"Sae-san" (Yuuki, Kanami)

"Sae-chan" (Inori)

Image color: #E9BD79

Character description: Sae is a new student and obviously it's hard for her to get used to her new school and her new classmates. She is a quiet person who often scares people away because of how blunt she is and because of her refusing to sugarcoat things, but she is actually just very.. tired. She can't find energy for socializing, so she often ends up saying something completely different from what she wanted to say. It may seem like she treats Yuuki just as coldly as she treats everyone else, but she actually appreciates her company and even finds her cute in some way. She also.. really likes the attention she gets from her.

Trivia:

Sae and Yuuki are classmates.

Sae shares a lot of similarities with Saki, such as being "the new student who couldn't attend school for some time because of illness", having a lot of yellows and oranges in their designs, being keyboardists of their respective units and their names starting with the same two letters. Their personalities are very different though.

When Sae mentioned that she doesn't like hamburgers, Inori stared at her and after a minute of silence asked "What do you have against America?"

Sae has to use a cane because she recently got a knee surgery. It may sound like something that isn't that serious, but Sae actually had to go through quite a lot of surgeries in her life which definitely had a negative impact on her mental health.

Inori decorated her cane to make her feel better. Sae is grateful to her for that.

She particularly enjoys body horror and psychological horror.

Interestingly, she doesn't just see herself as a patient in Hospital SEKAI, she sees herself as a zombie. Meaning that she sees herself as someone who's already dead or she thinks that with all the surgeries she's had, it would probably be better for her to die.

She's the only unit member who Inori couldn't come up with a nickname for, simply because she thought Sae's name is too short.

Nagai Kanami.

Name: Nagai Kanami (永居叶望) (her last name means "eternity, permanence" and "to stay, to be present" and her first name means "fulfill, satisfy" and "hope, wish, desire") 

Age: 18 years old

Unit: Pain Killer

Position: Bassist

Gender: Female (She/her)

Birthday: April 23rd (Taurus)

Height: 173 cm

Family: Father, mother, little brother (15 years old), little sister (10 years old)

School: Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy (3-A)

Club/committee: Tea ceremony club

Hobbies: Collecting cute hairclips, learning lore of mascot characters

Talents: Lying

Favorite food: Matcha-flavored pocky

Least favorite food: Egg dishes

Dislikes: Getting up early, paper

Appellations:

"Nagai-senpai" (Yuuki, Sae)

"Kana-senpai" (Inori)

Image color: #E4A1C1

Character description: Kanami is one of the most popular students and she's very respected for being so helpful and kind to everyone. She always has the best grades too. Sadly, she gets sick very often, so she has to skip classes and club activities because of that, but she always tries her best to catch up. She seems to have really bad health anxiety because of that, so you can often see her wearing a mask, gloves or simply using hand sanitizer every few seconds. Some people actually think that Kanami is faking her illness to skip classes, but most people believe that Kanami is the most responsible person you'll ever meet. Except.. those people who think she's faking are right.

Trivia:

Her hair is just like that. It's not a weird haircut, her hair really is just like that. Inori said it looks like wet paper. Kanami was not amused.

Speaking of paper, she actually has an extreme fear of papercuts, so she tries to avoid it.. which is hard to do at school.

Her favorite tea is matcha.

She's the only third year in Pain Killer, so she's often forced to do "adult stuff" such as promoting their group, posting their music, etc. She's not happy about it.

The reason why she's faking her health problems is because she's tired of the pressure she receives from her family and the lack of attention due to her being the oldest child. She knows it's not the smartest decision, but she can't come up with anything else.

She sees herself as a patient in the Hospital SEKAI because she wishes to be one so that she could stop feeling bad about faking her illness. She actually wants to be in pain.

Watabe Inori.

Name: Watabe Inori (渡邉以愛) (her last name means "to cross, to pass over" and her first name means "by means of, because of" and "love, affection")

Age: 17 years old

Unit: Pain Killer

Position: Drummer

Gender: Female (Any pronouns)

Birthday: June 2nd (Gemini)

Height: 166 cm

Family: Mother, older brother (20 years old)

School: Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy (Class 2-B)

Club/committee: Swimming club

Hobbies: Sitting on the rooftop of her house, knife throwing

Talents: Telling ghost stories

Favorite food: Salty popcorn

Least favorite food: Carrots 

Dislikes: Relaxing music, bandaids that are "not cute"

Appellations:

"Inori-san" (Yuuki)

"Watabe" (Sae)

"Inori-chan" (Kanami)

Image color: #75C7C0

Character description: Inori never knows when to stop. She laughs too much. Cries too much. Loves too much. So obviously he's not a type of person to take a breakup well. Especially a breakup with a guy who enjoyed seeing her in pain. She still hopes he will come back one day, so for now, she will continue to do horrible things to herself to make him pay attentiom to her. They don't even go to the same school, but it's okay, he can just pay him a visit later. Hanging out with Pain Killer members is fun though.. Maybe even more fun than whatever Inori and that guy had.

Trivia:

Most people refer to Inori by she/her pronouns, but Sae also uses they/them pronouns and Kanami uses he/him pronouns for them.

Inori and that guy were childhood friends and dated for three years.

Yuuki often takes care of Inori's scars and wounds. Inori wasn't happy about it at first since she does so to make their ex-boyfriend come back, but later, he actually started to like the attention they get from Yuuki.

Inori often jokes about looking a lot like Miku (the "classic" one and not their SEKAI one).

She's in the same class as Mafuyu.

Inori finds swimming relaxing.

Unit info.

Unit description: I imagine them being somewhat of a mix of L/N and N25, they're posting their music online and they don't really perform irl and Yuuki created the unit, hoping that they can help people "heal" from their pain with their music.

Unit leader: Yuuki

Original songs info: They mostly play rock (a particularly sad kind) with some elements of electronic music.

Vocaloid covers: I imagine them covering songs like Accomplice by Misumi, Sayoko by Mikito-P, Crier by Scop and Apocalypse Now by Pinocchio-P.

(Bonus) Milgram cover: Even though Throw Down and Triage seem like the obvious choice, I think Weakness would fit their style and their characters much better.

#there's. so much wrong with them #but it's okay!! they're cute <3 #toxic yuri polycule!! #oh and church sekai is next. #[ 💛 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐬 ] #[ 💜 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐨𝐜𝐬 ]

[fortpeat]

hi there, i really truly don't want this to sound like i am speaking only to you specifically, but you seem to have a lot of anons approach you about this topic, so please bare that in mind with what i'm about to say. i think people in general need to stop talking about fort and peat's supposed sex lives like they know them personally and are speaking on their behalfs. it feels a bit disrespectful to me. by all means, speculate away about their characters, i'll be the first in line to talk about that, but to talk about fort and peat in that way is wrong. they're real people with real lives. and the fact that i've seen discussions where people speculate about their sexualities and whether they're having sex with each other in real life isn't fair to them. yes, we see a lot of them in our daily life, yes, they indulge us and flirt with each other, but that's a big part of them just doing their jobs. it's called fanservice for a reason. does that mean they don't genuinely love and care about each other? no. but in reality, we don't actually know these boys. and to sit in front of our computers and speculate whether these two very real boys are having sex with each other is a little strange to me. and i do not use this phrase lightly when i say that it does sometimes feed into the fetishizing fandom culture that can be so toxic amongst the queer community. and it needs to be called out and stopped when it borders on that kind of territory. and i'm hoping by sending this message you and your followers might take a step back and see where i'm coming from. i'm not being cruel or trying to police anyone, just merely pointing out that we should all maybe try and set boundaries for the parasocial relationships we have with these boys.

Well hello there.

Clearly you are trying to police me and the people who have come to my blog. If there is something that's clearly making you uncomfortable then there is a button called BLOCK which you have every right to use. But you do not get to come to my blog and blame me for something that I didn't do. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN RESPECTFUL WITH FORTPEAT AND THEIR LIVES.

If you think that its all fanservice then that's your opinion, you don't see me coming to you and shoving down my thoughts down your throat. And I can't control what the anons send me and even if they have then I have always answered them in a way that never crosses the line.

For the record just coz we love Fortpeat and the love they have for each other doesn't mean that we are fetishizing them. Again if what you see on your timeline feels disrespectful for YOU then please block me for all I care. Curate your TL which is suitable for you. These boys have made some of my worst days into the brightest and if you can't understand where I am coming from and the love I have for them then that's your problem.

My blog is my safe space and I am sure that it's the same for atleast one person out there as well and that's more than enough for me.

And for the record my asks barely get one like or sometimes it's none. And anon I am not shouting about this in a public space like twt and tagging them. This is as private as one can be and you know what it's people like you who make it weird and wrong to talk about two humans who are affectionate with each other.

Again please feel free to use the block button. 🙏🙏 It saves us both the headache of ever having to interact.

(P.S. I can totally be nice to people who are nice to me but if someone comes into my blog and accuses me of something that I clearly haven't done so, then the "nice" is out the door)

#this particular ask is definitely NOT appreciated

[rrahuntersblog]

Okay, I just wanted to share about this and speak about this to someone and I didn't know who to share it with and I thought maybe I should share it with you.

In the police interview of Rust which Jensen spoke in (and look visibly uncomfortable even said he was going through it) , he spoke about his wife's fear of flying and how she didn't want to talk about which I will come to later on. He also spoke about owing a gun. He then spoke about production and sounds like he knows a lot in work, later on he spoke about how when an actor's name is added to production it is to 'sweeten the deal and take no responsibility in production'. So to the point: 1. He knows how to handle guns and is good with self defence. 2. He is clearly very knowledgeable about Production, he had a fair share and it's not just Danneel with his production company. 3. Danneel is unsupportive but I hope not abusive.

Maybe hear me out he is not in an abusive relationship. As someone who had a fair share in an abusive relationship, I don't want an actor who I have seen to go through one. I know I shouldn't spend a lot of time but imagine watching a show to seek comfort and you get into a fandom where everyone is comfortable and all that and you see- I really hope you understand.

If you want to check it out, the video was on YouTube. The first one to show up after Jensen Ackles Rust Police Interview. The full interview comes around 1 hr 48 minutes.

And maybe, I feel guilty that a man is going through something that is traumatic and these are the first things I think about. I would like to hear your thoughts.

Hi anon! I'll do my best to answer.

Jensen does in fact have gun experience. He mentioned once going to gun ranges growing up and not to mention his 15 years experience on Supernatural! There was something about him being surprised that Alec took the armorer's word that the gun was prepped and that Alec should've double-checked. That perhaps would've saved Halyna's life.

Yes, Jensen was visibly uncomfortable during the interview with the police and did say those things about Danneel. Broke my heart, the poor guy.

You're right, we do hope he isn't being abused, but there's a lot going on that support, bare minimum, an emotionally abusive and toxic marriage. I understand what you mean about not wanting to attach such horrible things that might have been going on in the background of a favorite show that is a comfort to us. Unfortunately, a lot of shows have toxicity behind them.

For instance, Once Upon A Time? Two lead actors were having an affair, and one of them was married. Other movies and shows will have drama--there's not much we can do about that. All you can do is attempt to separate the actor from their art.

#anti danneel #anti elta #jensen concern #jensen supportive

[escapismqueen]

Hey it's been a while since I've been on I saw that you recently made a new Jelly video I was about to watch it but seeing you upload it made me miss them. I still don't know if I'll watch season 3 sure I want to see the amazing love of the Jelly dating era but I know Jenny is going to ruin it like she did in the books they're going to character assassinate Jeremiah (even though he was the best part of the books not going to lie.) I hope she changes things and makes them endgame all we need is for them to stay together I need to see Belly fight for him more. Give me the Belly we saw in the finale where she was willing to leave Conrad there and go with Jeremiah. I don't need the toxic ship that the books had this is 2024 how people are still stanning the boring man Conrad I can never imagine he still hasn't been called out for his lies. Jeremiah didn't really have anyone on his side but Taylor I love her for that while Steven was a fake friend sure he wasn't that great in season 1 with him not wanting Belly to be with Jere but he's totally fine with Conrad after everything he's done?

Omg yes to all of this !!! Honestly I’ve been thinking about the way the show will end a lot lately and I just don’t see how making it a bonrad endgame would be a good thing. I’ve not read the books but I’ve listened to moments in the audio books here and there and the changes that were made from them to the show is so apparent and purposeful to me. Changes that make me go ‘why would Jenny change this unless she wanted to go for a different endgame this time’.

A lot of people say to me ‘yeah but in the books-‘ I don’t care. I love reading and I love books and clearly these books mean a lot to people but the show is not the books. The characters that we’ve seen on screen are not identical to the ones people read in the books. When you go in blind, not having read the books previously, you go in without a bias, which is important. The Conrad that we get in the show does not treat belly with the respect that she deserves. She even mentions at one point that he ‘gives and then takes away’ that’s toxic. The way he talks to her a lot of the time is honestly really rude, like calling her a baby and mocking her for knowing things about him. So much of his behaviour is a straight up red flag and so many Conrad stans tune a blind eye to it simply because they love book Conrad- which by the way, from what I’ve seen- WHY.

Jeremiah treats belly with respect. He’s there whenever she needs someone, he makes her happy and laugh and doesn’t make her question their relationship. She feels secure when she’s with Jere, when she’s with Conrad, she’s always on edge and she worried- it’s not healthy. Jere even put aside his own feelings because he loves both his brother and belly and at the end of the day wanted them to be happy, but belly chose jere. It would be beyond stupid now to have her go an change her mind AGAIN and get back with Conrad. And if one more person tells me what jere does in the third book, I’ll scream, because that is not show jere and making his character do that in the show would be the most ooc choice.

I’m sick of shows romanticising toxic behaviour. Just because belly fell in love with Conrad first, does not mean that she doesn’t love jere any less or that she will always love Conrad. People grow, people change, and she’s not a child anymore. Conrad is the guy you go through to learn a lesson, and grow from it and learn your worth. Jeremiah is the guy who makes you realise that you’re exactly who you need to be and that you’re lovable in whatever form you take. That’s what real love shows somebody.

#tsitp #the summer i tuned pretty #team jelly #team jellyfish #belly x jeremiah #belly conklin #jeremiah fisher #Thankyou for the ask ! #it’s been ages since talking about this

[cavalier-of-the-ninth]

Today 8/31:

1. End cycle of dopamine detox hell.

2. Had the following very disturbing realizations about my 7 year relationship:

I was constantly talked down to - esp. in private. It didn't flag it as quite the level of a problem (and a toxic behavior) that it was. I just pushed against it. Eventually, I checked out in favor of getting validation from work. Naturally, all this stuff put enormous cracks in the relationship.

It happened in public too - less so - but when it did, it was intensely embarrassing. It came by way of nasty little jokes. I confronted them and she'd apologize, but eventually she'd do it again.

This dynamic continued in such a way that my confidence was regularly prevented from growing too much. I didn't realize this at the time.

During our friendship, any of pretense disappeared. It became regular, over-the-top and cruel. It surfaced in front of other multiple times to the point that it made people who didn't know me but could so how kindly and respectfully I treated her clearly uncomfortable. (It happened at a party once when we were talking in a group and was used to subtly imply that I didn't mean the kind things I said to people calling out some cool thing I appreciated about them. (People don't hear these things enough from others, unfortunately.)

I'm a natural cheerleader for other people and she'd criticize it as being over the top - when directed at others. Interestingly enough, everyone else deeply appreciated this about me and would even openly say as much. (I NEVER offer a compliment that I don't mean. It's shitty and dishonest and manipulative and I just can't bring myself to do it.)

It finally hit me while watching a video that this was extremely toxic and problematic. I've been out of that relationship for a year it took me that long to fully 'get it'. I cut off the friendship too bcs it had gotten absolutely ridiculous and the 'using me when she needed something' dynamic got absurdly over the top. (10 months of regular vengeance while pretending to be a friend? Who knows. I deserved some of it - but certainly not 10 months worth.) Other people even noted it. People who knew everything about our history including my own end of relationship super shitty behavior (I cheated on her), for context.

Anyway - the better part of the 7 years was this dynamic. It caused almost every fight we ever had. (We didn't fight often which could signal something about simmering resentment below the surface.) I just didn't see it properly. I idealized her to everyone because I didn't want people to take a 'minor' criticism and think badly of her.

I'm going to tag this properly so other people going through things like this will see it. Maybe someone will benefit. I'm just shocked that it took me this long to flag it as a severe problem and toxic, and not just a minor issue.

I generally don't give a shit who sees this. I never say something in any public context I wouldn't say directly to someone's face.

Anyway. This one's just 'wow'. It will be something I'll be on the lookout for when I enter another long-term relationship.

(My recent history with romantic entanglements over the past 12+ months has been an epic Shit Show of truly Biblical Proportions - like, 'you can't make this shit up' level. So clearly I shouldn't be in one without serious thought, serious healing, and to avoid walking into bad situations again or inadvertently hurting other people.)

So, there's today's Truth Bomb, folks. We all have our shit, that's for sure.

I'm out. Duty calls...

[astromaki]

part 2 of 5000 $ - shoto todoroki x fem!reader (1597 words)

part 1. (previous)

tw ; minors dni, angst, nsfw, toxic relationship, mention of cheating and breakup, shoto is a complete bastard here

you finally did it.

you broke up with him a week ago. for real this time, not like the last hundred times you'd yelled at him that he was a heartless jerk. just so he could get you into bed the second you calmed down.

no, you threw him in the trash the day after that party. by message, but it was a start.

even your social media status had gone from 'in a relationship' to 'single <3', you'd even reinstalled tinder, and accepted follow requests on instagram from those boys in the same class as you in college.

and shoto seemed to have abandoned you too. no news from him, and you hadn't even run into him on campus in the last few days.

so why did it still hurt to think about him ? why did your lips refuse to say his name ? and why the fuck did your sheets still smell like him despite the many machines ?

so you could tell that you felt a little joy when you saw this message.

he had sent you this two days ago.

and it's been two days, you've been wondering if it was a good idea to see him again right away.

never mind, you were already at his door. besides, you didn't have to talk to him, just take back what belonged to you and go home. it couldn't go wrong ? right ? it's ridiculous, you even had to convince yourself now.

you knocked, once, twice, three times. you could hear someone inside. and you knew he didn't have a roommate. this rich kid could buy the whole building if he wanted.

fuck. you just had to go in and get your stuff, and it's like you were never there. he wouldn't notice you were there.

you opened the door, and were surprised to see a second pair of shoes at the entrance next to shoto's sneakers. which is more like a pair of rather feminine shoes, pumps.

a strange feeling made you shiver. it wasn't like you to track down your exes, but you don't remember seeing a new girl with shoto on social medias.

slight, imperceptible sighs escaped from his room a little further into the apartment. bed squeaks, that male growl you knew all too well.

fuck. fucking hell.

you knew what it was, you knew what those noises were, who was causing them. why he had asked you to come and get those so-called forgotten things.

and yet you still walked to his room, your brain screaming at you to turn around and stay away from that boy and his unmitigated evil. your heart telling you the opposite, to keep going to find out if he still cared about you. no matter how small, you wanted to know, you had to know, if you ever meant anything to him.

or if you were just a joke, that he could throw a little money around.

"shoto, fuck, yes, right there oh fuc-"

you felt tears welling up in your eyes when you finally saw shoto vulgarly fucking a girl in that room, where you used to spend all your evenings.

but that wasn't the worst part. it was that he had taken your best friend to bed, ochako.

"you're so fucking good, i -" he says in a low voice.

he had already created that crack in your heart. but now ?

his blue and gray eyes finally met yours, his gaze was nothing but arrogance and contempt. the only things he ever felt for you. and even though he was fucking your best friend, busy pacing back and forth, he had the nerve to look you up and down. a smirk lit up his face.

and that asshole finally said the three words he never disdained to say to you.

"i love you ochako," he finally said, looking you straight in the eye. you're the best sex i've ever had. "

his words were spoken clearly, slowly, so that they were articulate for you to hear. a mixture of anger, and sorrow suddenly overtook you

as if you had come back to reality, you suddenly left the room. your steps were disordered, you had lost all your balance, gravity seemed to be slightly stronger. your hands dropped some objects on your way.

what was wrong with you? why?

ochako had finally noticed you after her orgasm, and weakly called out your name, as if begging you to come back would make things better. that he was cheating on you was one thing, but with her ? the one who had pushed you to leave him?

you could hear heavy footsteps following you down the hallway to the front door. and a muscular hand grabbed your wrist to turn you around in one simple motion.

obviously, who else ?

"so you just walk into people's houses without knocking now?"

wow, how did he manage to make you hate him a little more every time he opened his mouth ?

"stop it. don't mess with me. you sent me a message to come in today to get my stuff." your voice was firm.

his face was as haughty as ever, yet he already seemed a little more natural and relaxed than the other times. you would have found it attractive if it wasn't after a romp with your best friend.

"ah, that's right. and so it's okay? you got everything? "

his deceptively kind voice made you want to scream. to take anything and throw it at him. he still had this annoying habit of driving you crazy even after you'd broken up. you wanted to hurt him like he'd been hurting you for months.

but your shaky, broken voice didn't reflect your desires. you were about to cry.

"i don't understand why? why you're being so mean to me. i'm not stupid, shoto, i know that you invited me here today just to see you fuck her."

his face hadn't changed, nor had his eyes. he was glaring at you miserably. as usual.

"i was hoping we could talk if i came to your door so we could maybe work things out, get off to a good start." and it's true, that message he sent you had falsely given you false hope. and you had fallen off the deep end.

a slight sigh escaped his lips. that slight sigh that made the cup overflow.

"why do you care ? we broke up, right ?"he said it in such a carefree tone.

"fuk you shoto. fuck you. you don't even realize how fucking toxic you are! you throw money around to get what you want, you fuck with people and play with their feelings! you're a fucking asshole. and you're a lot like your father for someone who hates him deeply. "

your words of hatred and anger that you had been building up for weeks, for fucking months, poured out on him like a lava flow.

it was mean, it was sincere, and it hurt shoto. it hurt him to see that he had done too much this tim.

his emotionless gaze watched you get angry, cry, push him, hit him, dry your tears that he couldn't tell if they were of melancholy or rage. he saw you push his hand away as he tried desperately to calm you down.

you couldn't see it, too busy screaming and drying your tears, but you managed to wring a sincere expression from shoto.

he was just panicking. he was panicking because he knew he had crossed the point of no return. that not even $5,000 or $10,000 or even $50,000 would bring you back.

his love, full of flaws, who never knew a healthy role model from his parents, would not be enough to make you stay. not to leave him alone.

because we know the cliché, the rich boy who didn't know how to love. didn't even know how to make the one person who always cared about his own selfish self, stay. but that was shoto though. he was that boy who only had toxic love to give.

but please don't leave him for good, he was begging you mentally.

if he had put his pride aside to express himself or even make you understand, maybe you wouldn't have left.

"i hate you shoto todoroki. i fucking hate you. but know that you'll end up alone, you and your stupid money. and i'll be the first to laugh. "

fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck.

" i- y/n just wait- "

he didn't think you'd hate him so much. the young man knew he was just an asshole with a fat bank account. he just thought that by fucking your best friend he'd get you to come back to him, out of desperation, out of a desperate love.

he didn't think he would feel such a pressure on his chest when he saw you slam the door, leaving him alone in the apartment with your best friend and a big hole in his heart.

he didn't think he'd regret his actions. he was a rich guy who always wanted what he wanted, whether it was money or sex. so you were easy. right ?

he never imagined that he would miss your perfume, your exasperating smiles, that he would miss you.

you were barely gone, and he knew he would miss you.

a/n ; i've never written such a nasty shoto sorry 😟 kinda want to leave this story like this...

please lemme know what you thought about this second part, should i make a third one ? (+ reblogs are appreciated <3)

🔖 taglist; @deepestranchgoopdeputy @kizuatonoaiko

#bnha x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki x you #shoto todoroki x you #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki angst #shoto smut #shoto torodoki #todoroki x y/n #todoroki shoto x you

[grapementos]

hello!! i was wondering if you could do break up/make up with shinsou and/or monoma? ty, much love, I'll be waiting patiently

retrouvaille

(n.) the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery.

aged up shinso x gn y/n

monoma's part here.

a/n: breaking up and making up? i am HERE for it. def one of my top five tropes. thanks sm for the request nonnie, this was fun <3 i'll do monoma in a separate post

cw: descriptions of depression and anxiety, angst, crying, breakups.

shinso didn't scream or cry when you started packing your bags. you'd both already screamed your throats raw until there was nothing left but the eerily-calm type of anger, when you were both absolutely fuming but also at your wits end.

he stayed in the kitchen, propping himself up against the bar. his knuckles were white wrapped around the marble edge, his grip the only thing able to stop his hands from trembling.

meanwhile, you were throwing clothes and toiletries into your suitcase, just wanting to leave. you tried and tried to talk things out and come up with a solution, but it couldn't be helped; you just seemed to bring out the worst in each other.

and yet you couldn't find it in you to be sad. you weren't sad about the fact that shinso had pushed you to the edge with his bickering about space and some of your habits. you weren't sad because you fired right back, pointing out every single one of his wrongdoings. that led to an entirely different argument--one that exposed truths and pet peeves about each other that had clearly been hidden for a while.

it was such a teenager way to break up, you thought. neither of you were unfaithful, nor were you toxic to each other. it was moving in together that turned your world upside down. suddenly, you were together too much, having to share space and be exposed to tendencies you weren't used to.

it was too much too fast. you both crumbled under the pressure, deciding to call it quits before you started hating each other.

and so he didn't try to stop you when you rolled your stuffed-full, just barely able to zip suitcase out into the living room. he just looked at you, tinged red eyes meeting yours. his gaze was stony and hard, swirling with hurt and pain and every negative emotion known to man.

you allowed yourself to stare only for a second. though it wouldn't have mattered; you made up your mind.

it took little but a quick phone call to denki, a promise to explain everything, and a cab ride to his apartment for you to realize the gravity of the situation.

you stumbled into his home, tears already welling up in your eyes, "kami, what did i do?" you whispered, lower lip trembling, "i didn't mean to--i didn't want--"

"hey, y/n, drink some water, yeah?" he took your bag from you, seting it off to the side, "drink some water, take a second to yourself, and then explain the story to me. we'll get this sorted out."

you nodded, sniffing quietly.

it took less than half an hour, but once you got yourself situated, you found yourself sitting on denki's bed, tightly hugging one of his pillows.

"whenever you're ready." he encouraged, sitting cross-legged directly across from you.

you told him everything; how the argument started, the things you both said, how you felt about the situation, and how it ended. you were crying all over again by the end of it, arms winding tighter around the pillow.

"i just--i thought he was the one, y'know? i know we're young and everything, but god, i loved--love him. i never really considered a future without him by my side." you finished, trying to distract yourself with the tag of the pillow.

denki nodded, eyes unfocused as if he was deep in thought.

"so then it's a you guys problem." he concluded, though he sounded as if he discovered a new element.

"well... yes?"

"no, no, like, you guys individually. moving in together is a big step! it's not for the faint of heart. i think you two might've gone into it believing your relationship was gonna stay the same." he clarified, "but i know shinso loves you, y/n. he's the type of guy that, once you're in his heart, you're in his heart. he's long-term, in other words. i have no doubt he's suffering bad right now."

you furrowed your brows at the thought, not wanting to think about him being hurt, "but it's too late."

denki side wistfully, leaning back on his palms, "y/n, my dear, it's never too late. just work on yourself, okay? think about what you truly want. if he's what you want, then it's worth trying to fix."

you nodded slowly, considering his words, "yeah, okay."

-

it was a mere two weeks after the breakup and you were a mess. you didn't even want to get out of bed most days, much less actually shower and take care of yourself.

denki had to leave on a five-day trip--something about raising morale in the agency he was with. you didn't know; you weren't paying attention when he made you half-heartedly promise not to burn his house down while he was away.

there was a void in your chest, sucking out any bit of energy you might have had. it was deteriorating every part of you so, so slowly.

night was the worst; you had to make yourself fall asleep without his warmth. there were no arms spooning you, no forehead kisses, no love.

that left you sleeping throughout the day, only getting up to use the bathroom and eat an occasional bowl of cereal that got soggy every time.

you didn't really cry anymore, but that might've been due to dehydration. you were too nauseous to drink much other than the milk in the half a bowl of cereal you ingested some days.

you were curled in the duvet when you got an incoming facetime from denki, which you begrudgingly answered and then dropped your phone back down on the bed.

"y/n!" he shouted as soon as you answered, making you flinch, "you--where are you?"

"m'right here. what's wrong?" you mumbled out, clearing your throat, "why're you yelling?"

"y/n, it's two in the afternoon. don't tell me you're still in bed."

you sighed impatiently, "denki, what'd you call for? i was just taking a nap."

there was a brief pause on his end, but he soon spoke again with just as much excitement as before, "oh! i have a guest going over to get something they left. just wanted to let you know beforehand."

you pushed yourself up to a sitting position, rubbing your eyes, "and when are they coming?"

he laughed nervously, "...forty-five minutes."

"i'm going to kill you." you groaned, slamming your hand on the end call button with finality.

it took longer than you'd like to admit, but you managed to hoist yourself out of bed, legs slightly tingly upon holding up your weight for the first time in several hours.

you trudged over to your bag with clothes no longer neatly folded, grabbing something just barely on the edge of presentable.

the shower you took felt great, if you were honest, but it wasn't enough to bring you out of your funk. you had just barely put your clothes on and disposed of the dirty one in the laundry room when there was a firm knock on the front door.

you frowned, not exactly excited to have any form of social contact. you opened the door anyway, trying not to seem too rude.

you had a half a mind to slam the door closed when you came face-to-face with shinso, but you couldn't. you were frozen in place, completely unable to do anything but stare.

he was at a loss for words, too, if his widened eyes were anything to go by.

"y/n.." he started, tired eyes darting around cautiously.

"shinso." you stepped aside, letting him come in, "get what you need to get and.. please, go."

he looked like he wanted to say something, eyes glossing over at your words. but he didn't--instead he walked inside, "kaminari told me he was gonna be here. he didn't mention anything about you."

you shook your head, reminding yourself to have a talk with him, "well, he's not here, so.."

"y/n, please. stop being like this." he begged, demeanor shattering, "please, just talk to me."

"about what, shinso? you didn't want to talk this out two weeks ago."

"two weeks ago i was stupid, okay? i was upset things weren't going my way or--or the same as they were before we moved in together. i shouldn't have expected that. i thought-" he stammered, taking a deep breath to compose himself, "i thought i'd enjoy the space. but, y/n, i can't sleep without you. i have terrible nightmares and, even though you yank all of the covers away and kick and wind up with your pillow in my face, i miss you."

you covered your mouth to stifle your quiet sobs, just listening to shinso pour his entire heart out to you, "i miss you too, 'toshi. i haven't been sleeping at night because it's so hard. and showering is just--every time i step in, i think about how you can never keep your damn hands off my stuff. nothing's ever where i left it when you get out of the shower." the both of you chuckle wetly, shaking your heads at the thought.

"please tell me this isn't it for us, y/n. i can't go on in this life without you. i need you--i love you," he reached out his hand for your desperately, as if he was clinging on to the last bit of hope he had.

you stared for a long moment before wiping your tears and taking his hand, letting them hang down between the two of you, "i love you too. i think.. things might be different this time. knowing how it feels to live without each other might make our habits and pet peeves a bit more bearable."

"it's worth a shot, isn't it?"

"yeah," you squeezed his hand, "it is."

pheww matchmaker denki. reblogs are appreciated!

cashapp: $tofuchip

#rayne ❦ #sender: anon #sealed with a <3 #shinso x you #shinso hitoshi #shinsou hitoshi #shinso hitoshi x reader #shinso x reader #aged up shinso #pro hero shinso #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #angst #angst with a happy ending #breaking up and making up #breakups #anime #drabbles #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[goofyhoffy]

known stranger | jjk | Chapter 1

people say your bestfriend's rival is your rival too. But what if you fall for your rival.

✿ Pairing :  Jungkook × female reader, Jimin × best friend reader

✿ Genre : enemies to lovers, stranger au, personal assistant au, manager au, mutual au.

✿ Summary : always seen him around your mutual friend, but one day you  noticed the known face. Everyone find you so interesting that they always want to be your best friend, yet you never find anyone close to your heart. Jimin your so called bestfriend gone through the worse break up but instead of caring him you fall for his rival. You never thought of liking someone who would beat your bestfriend, but you fall for Jungkook there. Unfortunately, Jungkook became your personal assistant who hated you the most for supporting Jimin. What if Jungkook also wants you back?

✿ Warnings : fluff, strong languages, reader is a psychopath, angst, anxiety, anxiousness, double faced, bullying, overthinking, mean people, Jimin here is the meanest, ignoring, explicit, smut, fake friends, manager and personal assistant au, mutual friend, swearing, filled with flirty lines, rival, lovey dovey, break up, makeout, humiliation, oneshot, texting.

✿ Series : a drabble fanfiction of 3 sets

✿ Word Limit : 5 k+

MASTERLIST

✿ Author's note : wishing you many happy returns of the day, kook. I thought of making this fanfic a oneshot but my mind never cooperates with me. So, here I'm again with my drabble series. Read it and let me know if you liked it. To get add on taglist, send an ask.

(๑˙��˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)

"See, I changed your contact name to 'Bestie' , it's looking perfect dude." Jimin rejoiced. You just gladly looked at his phone screen with your two owl eyes. "Now, you also need to change my contact name in your phone to 'bestie'. Do it fast, I'm waiting, piggy."  Jimin said happily.

"Ya, I'll do it later some day." You weirdly smiled at him. It's always been like that. Jimin being too clingy, always said that you're his best friend, his own girl, whom he adores the most. But somewhere you never felt that. You never denied him of being your friend or you can say your best friend but you always hesitated to accept. You never called him sweetly, never even seen him like your bestfriend but something less than that. A vibe just didn't match with him. Yet, he was always the one who texted you, asked for hanging out, call you by pet names, always loved you, always treat you like his bestfriend. You never showed this emotions neither you did denied all that .

"You always do this things. You know, you're always first for me. First priority,____(y/n)." Jimin sighed.

"Ya, always first. But-" you got intreuppted by him.

This Areum gonna kill me one day. This girl already broke up with me but still cling to me." Jimin said while checking his phone. Few weeks ago, Jimin had a worst broke up. More likely, a betrayal kinda thing happened with him. Before that he was so happy, bright and always busy with his girlfriend. And never ever asked you how were you back then. There you got it, how really a toxic person he was. That's why, you never wanted to call him your special person. Cause after every break up he only comes to you. And during his relationship phase he never even asked you nor did he talk to you. A complete stranger basically.

" Why don't you just ignore her. Block her if she's distrubing you so much." You said.

"I did, but still. Well, she's only for fun. She also have fun making out with me and I do the same. So no problem." Jimin chuckled.

"Also fun when she calls his boyfriend and his friends to beat you up as you're assign of molesting her." You rolled your eyes.

"____, you clearly know that. You have seen that. She was the first who directed me to kiss her , touch her and everything. But later that bitch just called her bodyguard boyfriend to help her out. It's only a strategy for breaking up with me." Jimin sighed.

"Then, why did you do the same thing again Jimin? Just leave her. It really feel bad to see your friend suffering." You asked.

"Bestfriend not friend." Jimin corrected.

"Whatever. Do you want to have red stamps on your ass again?" You sighed.

"No, but I can't. That time I was so mad at Areum so I didn't do any harm to her boyfriend. Unless I would have kicked him in nuts." Jimin giggled.

"Everything is not a joke, Jimin." You rolled your eyes as you left for your daily shift.

◉

You got freahen up after a hectic day at your work. After taking good hot shower, you sat on your bed and checked your phone. You glared at how many messages Jimin had sent you to ask about your day, your mood, what's you're doing and stuff like that. You completely ignored it. Sometimes you feel that, the boy put so much of his time on you just to get some friendly love from you. But at the second thought, you imagine all those moments when he ignored you, your texts, your calls for hours and days just because he don't need you.

At last you saw the flooded messages at the new group chat you got added. You don't have enough patience to read what the group chat was about and who were the members. So, you directly called the one who added you.

It's Bora, who added you. Your long lost another best friend. Who also treated you like her best friend but you never like being her friend. But you felt so glad that someone still remembered you. You called her.

"Hello!"  You nervously chuckled.

"____, I missed you bub. Don't you missed me sweets?" Bora excitedly asked.

"Sure. I-I mean I did. A lot. Bora." You weirdly smiled

"Then you're definitely coming to the Mall? Don't you?" Bora asked.

"Mall? About what?" You asked.

"I added you to the gc dude. Checked that. Everyone is coming. Please you also need to come. I have many things to talk about you." Bora pleased.

"I saw that, that's why I called you. Cool idea! Definitely gonna come Bora." You said.

"Call me sunshine. Okayy, tomorrow at eight at evening near the south mall. Don't be late. We all will be there." Bora said happily.

"Sure sunshine. I'll be there promise. Good night. Meet you tomorrow." You said cheerfully.

You're kinda excited to meet your old goldies. Not to lie but you missed them so much. All the shit they talk, crazyness they do and everything about them is all you need right now. You missed Bora in real. Like, in days she was so toxic that gives you anxiety unnecessarily but still she missed you. You always love the person who mentioned you anywhere unless or untill it's Jimin.

At the Mall, you're already late to go their after your hectic schedule. But still you're not late as it's only nine and they asked you to be their till eight. But you always a late lateefa. More like a queen for whom everyone waits. You saw Bora, and ran cheerfully towards her.

"Sunshine!" You sang.

"_____, again late." Bora exclaimed arrogantly.

"Really sorry Bora. Tell me if I missed anything." You asked.

"Everything. Legit everything." Bora said.

"Why? I'll cry dude." You sighed

"Everyone already gone for movie. I'm just here to wait for you girl. Thank me." Bora rolled her eyes

"Then let's go for the movie. We can join the movie." You cheerfully smiled.

"Wait. I didn't call you here to hangout with you. I need to tell you many things." Bora said.

"Then whom we're waiting for. Let's have some goosip coffee, Sunshine." You chuckled as both of you just walked upto the near counter coffee shop. There you sat the same place you used to and have endless laughter.

She explained how she's going to marry the man of her dreams. Tells you everything about what happening in every one's life and their love life. During your old days to, Bora was the one who tells you all the goosip and love life of others. She was so much interested in other life than her own. Unfortunately you were always the one who used to hear all those boring goosips. You were never interested, neither you are now interested.

As the weather is getting happier the dark clouds surrounds the mood. You saw Areum and his Boyfriend Seokjin was also there at the mall. They're strolling down the Mall with grabbing eachother hands. They looked so happy. But you felt so bad for his boyfriend Seokjin. He never knew the actual face of Areum. You have seen after Jimin's break up also, she used to make out with him. Jimin share each and everything about that. How she bite his upper lip so much and how she was acting that everything was good and still were together. Jimin was an actual fool and you knew that. He didn't understand that, the thing which he was telling fun and gain is actually the entire opposite. Areum was all having fun with her new rich boyfriend and having a good physical life with Jimin. But here Jimin was always so sad because of her. She's an actual bitch  and act like an innocent fool.

"Bora, this is the girl I'm talking about." You pointed at Areum indirectly.

"She was Jimin's girlfriend? Ew. I always know he had a bad taste." Bora said.

"See the boy beside her, he's her new boyfriend. A total bitch." You fumed. As both of you sitting at the corner of the coffee cafe looking at them and goosiping.

"That's Seokjin. Lord." Bora yelled.

"You know him?" You asked.

"For sure. He's the friend of Jungkook. That boy is way too flirt." She giggled.

"Jungkook? You mean that boy?" You asked.

"Ya, remember during the high school party I invited him. You met him quite a few time, ____" she said.

"Wait. There's a  Long story about him also dude. Let me finish." You chuckled as you sipped your cold brew.

You explained her how during the break up of Jimin and Areum, she called her new boyfriend. With his new boyfriend there was Jungkook there to threaten Jimin. You had witnessed all the threatening Jungkook given. The way he said 'back off your little ass' , 'fuck another girlfriend, leave Areum' , 'seokjin is like my brother, if anything happens to her girl I won't leave you". All his aggression, confidence in his eyes and a way of firece. Not to mention you liked it.

All this years, you have seen Jungkook. You have seen him in the partis, malls and streets. But after he threatened your bestfriend, you kind of liked him. After that you noticed him in real. How he was flexing his arms while talking to Jimin, how he was rolling his eyes, how he was just standing there looking immensely handsome. With the white t-shirt on and cargo pants, he was looking handsome. That's the first time you actually noticed him.

You really felt bad for Jimin that all the boys get over him. But a certain part of your giggling to recalling all the moment of Jungkook. You never talked to him, neither he took an interest on you. You both were just a known stranger to each other. Known by the faces and stranger by the identity.

At the end of the meet and greet day, you were on your way to outside. Bora was with you. You both were laughing. You met with other old friends too after so long. You took some good memories photo and you felt so good at the end.

"Bora! Hey!" Someone shouted at Bora who was standing beside you at the exit of the mall. She looked back and realized it's Jungkook.

"Hey, Kook. You're here." She giggled.

"Come here with Seokjin. You too here?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, with _____(y/n). Meet my bestu." She pointed at you.

"I see." Jungkook just rolled his eyes on you. It's completely like ignoring you. You also completely just looked at your phone to cut off eye contact. It was like ignoring both of their conversation.

You know why he always looked so uninterested on you. After Jimin's broke up, you took Jimin's side and then all those so called cold war started. He absolutely hate you because you opposed him and supported your friend. But you know you were correct. But that never mean that you could not have a crush on him.

His dark hairs falling at his eyes with the little puppy eyes look immensely fierce. His everything is quite recognisable and you remembered each of the detailed about him. But always a guilt that you never spoke to him. You wanted to but his expression kills your inner whore.

"Then spend time with Seokjin. Meet me soon." Bora said.

"Cool. You also spend time with your bestu. I'll meet you soon." Jungkook greeted as he left both of you alone. He gave you a scary look before leaving which you clearly noticed but rolled your eyes.

◉

You entered at your work place. That day you had a lot of work to do. So, you piled up all the papers needed for the work. Basically, you were working as a manager in a hotel as you want to have enough money to publish your book. You work daily so hard to accomplish all your dreams to be a writer. Being a manager you saved enough for your book and have enough to spend the rest on your own. Your work was always way to comfortable for you.

"Good Morning,____." Your boss entered at your work place and greeted you.

"Good morning boss. Do you need something?" You asked.

"I want you to meet someone. Kook! Come in." He shouted to call someone. As he called, a guy entered in the room and it's none other than Jungkook itself.

"Meet Jungkook. From now onwards he will assist you. Your personal assistant." He said.

"Dad! I'm not anyone's assistant here. I'm not doing this thing." Jungkook barked angrily.

"You have to think about that before the car accident. To be more sincere, you have to work as an assistant until or unless I'm sure you can do something on your own." Your boss hissed. You never knew that Jung kook was son of your boss. Your boss looked quite young for a big boy like Jungkook. And never did Jungkook had been in this five star hotel you worked at. You were quite shocked while giggling inside that he had to assist you. That's mean proper supremacy.

"But dad -" Jungkook been cut off by him.

"Meet _____(y/n). I really want you to work with her. She's sincere as well as profound at her work. I think you will be a good Manager -  assistant thing." You boss said. As he mentioned your name , Jungkook looks at you. He was as stun as you.

"Thanks Boss. Hello Mr. Jeon Jungkook." You greeted and try to be as professional as you want to stop him from invading in your personal life.

"Now, you both can start your work. I'm leaving." You boss said as he left your work place leaving you and Jungkook alone.

For few minutes it was like a dread silence. Only your computer making the typing sound. You don't know how to start a conversation. The only thing you know was that you should be professional with him. No perosnal talks. Only see him as your assistant or more like your boss's son. Jungkook was there right behind you still astonished and don't know from where to start. He was already feeling so sad about being someone's assistant but it made worse after realising it's you. You were his manager. Internally he hated you, but you liked him. You know he hated so much. But neither you had talked to him nor he talked to you. It was an internal war of friendship. Because both of your mutual friends were rivals. So, you both also knew you have to be each other rivals too.

"You work here?" Jungkook smirked.

"Yes, Mr. Jeon. As you're my assistant now, I'll teach what you have to do." You weirdly smiled.

"I'm not your assistant first of all. It's for my dad sake. Or I would never have to work here." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon. But I have to abide by my boss rules." You said.

"What's with Mr. Jeon? Don't you know me?" Jungkook asked smirkingly.

"Do I?" You asked.

"Dude, you're Bora's as well as Jimin's bestfriend. I clearly have seen you hundreds of times. Don't deny that you never have seen me." Jungkook smirked.

"Sorry, Mr. Jeon. But I'm at my work place. No perosnal talks please." You hesitantly said. You felt like a large piece of stone got off from your heart. You never want to talk to him about your personal matters or it would go real wrong.

"Stop calling me Mr. Jeon for God sake. Call me Jungkook." He ranted.

"Okay, Mr. Jungkook. Anything you like." You said.

" God! You're so annoying dude. No more formalities please. Jungkook only." Jungkook yelled at you. You know how to annoy people. You were just testing his patience and as expected he was way more patienceless than you have thought.

"Okay Jungkook. Call me _____(y/n) then." You smirked.

"Whatever." Jungkook rolled his eyes as he sits at the table.

He was on his phone through out you were working. You thought of giving him some work. But the way he was sitting, getting annoyed by you and those priceless smiles across his face whenever he was playing in his phone. You can't deny but you want to admire him all day long. You and Jungkook was all alone in the room. No one was there. You were working on your files and peeping at him when he was not looking at you.

"Dude, give me some work or something. I'm getting bored." Jungkook sighed as he put his phone aside and looked at you.

"I thought you don't want to work! But sure, being your manager I'll give some work to do." You proudly said.

"Only for my dad. And also I'm bored so thought doing something with you." Jungkook said.

"Something with me?" You asked. Your sarcasm is way too knowledgeable to your friends. How you turn simple things to some random jokes.

"I-I mean some work with you." Jungkook stumbled.

You told him everything he have to do. All the rules and regulations he had to follow. But at all your words he just rolled his eyes. That kind of annoying to you and you want to beat the shit out of him. But you can be a bigger annoyance than him. And you decide to be one. As Jungkook would never find you interesting or beautiful but you would force him to do so.

After the work, when you finished all your daily work and wrote down all the things you have to do tomorrow on your diary. You were ready to go to your home and work in your book and have some delicious coffee.

"Jungkook now you're good to go. See you tomorrow." You greeted him with a smile.

"So, now what are you gonna do?" Jungkook asked.

"We did all the work today so early. So, now you can go home and so do I." You said.

"Go home! Don't you have anywhere to go? Hangout or parties?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"I prefer home Jungkook. Meet you tomorrow." You said and you're on your way to exit.

"Wait ____. I'm trying to start a conversation. And you're only ignoring me." Jungkook yelled.

"I'm not ignoring. It's just I have pile of work to do." You laughed

"So, if your professional life ended can we talk about your personal life?" Jungkook asked jokingly.

"No. I don't want to." You said as you left the venue for your home. Jungkook was standing there all astonished that why you react like that. Thinks if he asked you something wrong.

As soon as you reached home, you got a text from an unknown number.

You're internally giggling and smirking that it was not you who texted first but it was him. You were happy that finally you got his number. But still you don't want to show that you liked him or anything. You just want to be professional with him so that he'll beg you to talk to him. You're way too annoying and you want to show that to him. You now just want to go tomorrow and annoy him more and more.

◉

"You did well today. You should be proud of yourself!" You smiled at him.

"I'm always proud of myself. Well, now home?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, let me just get my things and we'll be good to go." You said as you packed your bag up.

There Jungkook standing looking at you and your curves. He was really so rude to you at first but now he was cooperating with you. He does everything you told him and obediently he did that. As you were busy packing your things. He grabbed your diary across the table to hand over to you.

But before that he looked through the pages of the diary. First few pages, you marked all your day to day plan. Yet as he turn the pages over he looked the brief description you have pointed about everyone. This was something you do whenever you find someone interesting. You always note down their physical and behavioural characteristics about them. Because in a thought that maybe it'll help you in the near future on your books. You always make your books character with attachment of the real people existed. It's kind of a thing you really like.

"His deep ocean eyes when he looked at his rival. For me it his dark hairs which he glides with his veiny hands." Jungkook louldy sang. As you didn't noticed that Jungkook already have your diary and you're looking for it. But those lines he sang just clicked your mind.

"Jungkook! What the hell? Give me my diary." You shouted at him and punched his arms.

"Dude, I'm giving. Wait, let me read some more." Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"Give me or I'll leave." You rolled your eyes. As he gave the diary back to you. You look at the pages he turn over and generously you looked at it. Properly examining if he fold any of the pages.

"It's okay. I didn't eat your pages." He rolled his eyes.

"I'll check that up." You arrogantly said as you pick your bag up and left for home.

The lines Jungkook read loudly was actually about him. You have written everything about him which you find interesting. You don't want to reveal your secret that you liked him. But you just wished that he didn't read his name there.

As soon as you went home, you got Jungkook's text. It's now kind of become a routine for you to get text from him at night. The whole day you just spend with him and at night we wished you 'sleep well' to end the day. You can't thank your boss enough for him. He's rude but kind. You're annoying but sweet.

"Today we don't have many work Jungkook. You can take a leave today. " You said as you pile up the papers.

"It's okay, I'll help you." Jungkook nonchantly said.

"Well, I also don't have work. So, I'm leaving already." You chuckled.

"It's only afternoon dude." Jungkook sighed

"So? You're so enthusiastic to work, huh?" You asked.

"For you." Jungkook sighed under his breath.

"Wait. You're free now? Any plans for evening?" He asked.

"No I guess. Will eat and watch something so far." You excitedly said.

"Let's hangout?" Jungkook smirked

"Huh? With whom?" You dumbly asked.

"With me of course dude. You and me. I never have talked to you in person. You always so professional." Jungkook giggled

"Umm... I might be - " you got intreuppted by him.

"Please don't say no. I also want to know why every one wants you be there bestfriend." Jungkook pleased. You really want to go at the first go but you want him to plead to you. And he did, and you accepted that.

"Okay then but home by night." You smiled. 

He accepted and asked you to wait for him till he take his car at the front. You waited for him at the main door. But you saw he forget his phone at the table. And repeatedly his phone just lights up as there were messages flooded on his phone. You decided to peep into it. Your inner detective rises as you checked his phone. You know it's wrong to check anyone's personal thing but he also did first with your diary. You looked at the top messages, it's filled with many flirty girls texts, some work related texts and lastly Seokjin text which popped up as soon as you open it.

Your inner self was burning right then. You thought Jungkook was not like that but you were wrong. He was like that, a total rude brat. But before you he acts like all sweet and flirty. Yet he was totally the different personality in real. He still thinks of you as a ugly and rival person. You can't process what did he mean by 'I'll fuck a pig than you'. You were keep repeating the lines in your head. The more you imagine it, the more your blood was boiling for him. He was traitor or a chameleon who only knows how to changes colour. You can guess how he thinks about you. He only thinks about you as a ugly, little and fatty bestfriend of his rival. You just want to see him and kick him so hard and want to know why he acts like he actually interested in you.

You were already been worse , you don't want anymore to get worst. You only need to go home and drift in your blanket and sleep till you forget that Jungkook is okay to fuck a pig but not you.

You left for your home without greeting Jungkook a bye. You don't want to hangout with him anymore. You now just want him to beg you to fuck him. You're a total psychopath for this. Your ego is far more bigger than anything in this world. Either he should beg you to fuck him or you never will see his face. You know your ways how to do that. As you think, Jungkook already called you to enquire why did you left after promising for hanging out. But you declined the call. He texted you over hundreds time to know what's wrong with you. But neither you did answer. You were completely ignoring him.

The past days you just ignored him, his texts and calls everything. Everytime he comes to talk to you at interval you just passed him. If comes to ask you something you directed him to the other managers. Even ones he asked you why you were acting so differently and ignoring him. But you straight up rolled your eyes on him. He got so annoyed by your actions. He only wants to know if he made some mistakes. But more than the mistakes you feel that it's a double game. He only wants to insult you and nothing else. You also know it's better to stay away from double faced people.

You were at your workplace constantly ignoring Jungkook. You never pick any personal calls during your work. But as it's lunch time and Jimin was calling you, being a good bestfriend you picked it up.

"Bestie! You're at work?" Jimin asked through the phone.

"Umm.. yeah. Anything?" You said.

"Today, I prepared dinner for you. Specially for you. Please come over at my place." Jimin said.

"Ahhh! Jimin! Tonight I can't. There's a lot of undone work." You ranted.

"You always say this things. Shut up, you have to. Else I will pick you up. Okay?" Jimin asked smiling.

"No need to come here. I'll come, it'll be late." You sighed.

"Great bae. Love you always." Jimin sang.

"Meet you tonight. Bye." You said.

"Say it back, piggy." Jimin shouted.

"Ahhhh love you Jimin! Bye." You also sang the same way he did and declined the call. You were already tired and again you have to go there.

Someone was there to noticed all the things you were doing, it's Jungkook. He heard all the talks with Jimin. Heard the way you have a plan tonight with Jimin, the way you sang love you to Jimin and the way you were giggling all the time talking to Jimin and not him. His inner spirit boiled to know you were again talking to that little brat who was his rival and he got jealous that you never hangout with him but you at once get ready to hangout with Jimin. He couldn't sit with his inner boiling ego. He need to ask you what happened, why did you hangout with Jimin and many other questions which a boyfriend need to ask his girlfriend. Time by time there was some sudden urge which keep him engaged with you. It  could be your personality, your way of showing emotions and everything you do. He also fall for you but still didn't know it.

Jungkook just entered the room where you were working and shut the door arrogantly. You were amazed what he just did but without caring much you did your work.

"Working, huh?" He asked. You just nodded a yes.

"Free tonight? Thinking of taking you to any restaurant." Jungkook smirked.

"Busy tonight. Hope you will understand." You rolled your eyes.

"Busy tonight with your boyfriend Jimin, huh?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly. Your eyes just burned to hear that. You frowned.

"Sry, my mistake. I mean your so called best friend Jimin." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Jungkook, mind your own business." You shouted. He walk up to you and stand straight right before your face.

"Now,I understand why Jimin broke up with Areum. Jimin got you." He said as he pinned you at the wall. He thoroughly looked into your eyes leaving no gap. His hot steamy breath could be sensed by your cold skin. Each word he spokes makes your heart pound. His wide chest touches your torso. He was furious and angry that time you could clearly guess. But more he come nearer to you. You felt like hugging him. Instead of asking him to leave you, you just glared into his eyes. Both of you were stolen in each other eyes. No one was taking back.

"Love you Jiminiee." Jungkook mimicked you.

"Jungkook, stop it"

"Tell me that you love Jimin and I'll leave."

"What if we stand like this forever." You winked.

"Don't play with me, ____(y/n)" Jungkook smirked as he come closer to your face.

"What if I kiss you now?" You smirkingly said.

"Then do that! Jimin again got a cheater girlfriend. Poor Jimin." Jungkook giggled.

"I'm glad that he didn't get a girlfriend like Areum." You frowned.

"Mind your business. Dare not to speak anything about them." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"Who started, huh? Who's now pinning me? Who's jealous about Jimin? Who wants to take me to dinner? Hear yourself, baby." You playfully winked as you punched him to get off from him. He took a back from you.

"Seokjin is right my taste is real bad. Live with your Jimin happily." Jungkook said.

"First of all he's right to say that. Having a friend like Seokjin shows your taste. Secondly, Jimin is not my boyfriend. Lastly, don't ever dare to talk to me and fuck off." You ranted as you leave the room.

(✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡)

TAGS : @mellie1409 @pariyansha @alienatedkitten @chans-baby-girl @mwitsmejk @hello-stranger24 (sry the tags are not working)

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fuckboy #jungkook romance #jungkook × reader #jungkook ×oc #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook icons #jungkook layouts #jungkook moodboard #jungkook friends to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #bts jimin #jimin × reader #kookiiee #jjk smut #jungkook birthday #jungkook core #jungkook assistant and manager au #jungkook kpop #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut

[ticketstomydaydreams]

5:3666

(All We Have: Part Two)

Part One

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: You and Colson fall into a night time studio routine when he starts keeping you company through your insomnia and you decide to work though some past demons

Word count: 3,200 (ish, I lost count editing)

Feels: Fluff with a dash of past trauma

Warnings: Drug & alcohol consumption, domestic violence, cursing, Colson being so sweet it almost makes your teeth hurt

Companion playlist:

Machine Gun Kelly - 5:3666

Warren Zevon - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

The Vamps - All Night

Halsey - You Should Be Sad

A/N: If you've been affected by anything in this story, please know you're not alone. My inbox is always open and I'm all ears 🖤

______

During the first couple of weeks of moving in, you’d been partying A LOT. The guys wanted to show you just how mad it got, breaking you into their chaotic household, blending the days together. Everyone was hyper and the house was buzzing with energy. You'd been so exhausted from all of it that you'd been all but passing out each night, but you couldn’t lie, it was great fun.

You’d tried to pass on a few nights but Colson would never hear of it, often forcing you out of your room to get involved as the house was filled with people, jam sessions taking place in between drinking games. It was a far cry from your usual homelife, your last housemate mainly kept to themselves so your place was normally pretty chilled. Colson had used your place as a quiet escape over the years, but it seemed you wouldn’t have the same set up extended to you here with this lot.

With the pandemic unfolding, the house had started getting quieter, less people in and out every night and everyone was settling into a lazier way of life. The gang were mooching around the house throughout the day and while the house was still lively at night, it wasn’t quite the party central you’d almost started getting used to. Your normal working routine went out the window as everyone had started working from home mainly and without your daily routine, followed by nights out partying, your insomnia was back with full force.

______

You were lying in your bed, trying to force sleep on yourself but after trying to nod off for a couple of hours, you accepted defeat and got back up. Throwing some sweats on and one of Colson’s huge hoodies (you’d been slowly sneaking them out of his closet, finding that the masses of material drowning your small frame were super comforting), you headed down to the kitchen, turned the stove on and filled the kettle up. You were scrolling through your phone when you heard footsteps on the tiled floor. Colson strolled into the kitchen looking disheveled in a white tank top and boxer shorts, hair ruffled and looking sleepy

“Dude, it’s 3am how come you’re up?”

“Couldn’t sleep, living that oh so fun insomnia life again” you sighed “Did I wake you?”

“Nah, I was already awake. Couldn’t sleep either and heard someone moving about so thought I’d come down” He replied, climbing onto one of the breakfast stools

“Yeah, I think it’s not having much of a routine. Hate lying in bed staring at the ceiling so just got up. You want a cup?” you offered, pointing to the chamomile tea you were brewing

“Sure, thanks” he says, taking the steaming mug from you

You sit down at the breakfast bar with him and start chatting, scrolling through instagram as you do. After about an hour, as you’re talking about an article you’re reading, you notice Colson doesn’t respond and you look to your right and see he’s fallen asleep, leaning on his hand, his mouth slightly ajar.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” you whisper, rubbing his back with your hand “Go to bed”

He slightly jolts at your touch, opening his eyes “Nah man, I’m keeping you company”

“Some company” you laugh softly “pretty sure you just slept through all my rambling there”

He leans against your shoulder, closing his eyes again “Hey, at least you’re not sitting here alone. That’s something right?”

“That’s true” you smile, leaning your head against his “You’re very appreciated, do you know that”

You gently push him upright and stand up “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’m pretty tired myself, so you’ve definitely helped”

He’s laid his head down on his arm on the counter, his breathing getting heavy immediately so you pull his other hand making him stand up. He stands up and puts his arm around your shoulder as you walk towards the stairs, your legs feeling heavy as you climb each step, carrying some of Colson’s weight as he sleepily walks with you

Once you’re standing outside your bedroom doors, he pulls you in for a hug

“Night kid, don’t be wandering around bored if you can’t sleep yeah? Just come get me. Nothing worse than sitting up alone at night…”

“Will do. Thanks Col” You squeeze him a bit tighter as he kisses the top of your head

“Night” you smile, as he let’s you go and turns and heads into his room, waving his hand up behind him

Undressing and crawling into bed, your eyes feel heavy as your head hits the pillow. Colson was right, insomnia was a much less lonely experience with a friend.

______

Of course, as is always the way after your sleepless nights, you sleep in super late the following day meaning the cycle continues and you find yourself wide awake as the witching hour approaches. Feeling restless in your bedroom, you get up, and decide to head downstairs and out into the studio because you figure you might as well put this time to good use. You settle into a chair with your acoustic guitar and started playing, stopping and starting as you figure out a melody, working your latest lyrics in with it

“I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest. Got no anger, got no malice…”

“I thought I told you to come get me if you couldn’t sleep”

You almost drop your guitar as you hear Colson’s voice behind you, “Jesus, how are you such an enormous human but you still manage to creep up on me all the time?”

“Just a stealthy motherfucker I guess” He laughs, flopping into the chair next to you

“Whatcha working on? That sounded sweet, keep playing…”

Colson knows you sometimes get a bit self-conscious with people watching you sing, so he lights his joint, rests his head on his hand and closes his eyes. You smile as you see what he's doing, thankful he always understands what you're like.

You turn back to your notepad, reading over your lyric outline quickly before repositioning the guitar in your lap and resetting the metronome

___

‘I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice, Just a little bit of regret

No, nobody else will tell you, so there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out and then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs, and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry, I feel so sad

I tried to help you, it just made you mad

And I had no warning about who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breaking down

And then ran so fuckin' far, that you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough of them’

___

“Man, that was beautiful Y/N. I got some chills right there…You just wrote that?”

“Nah, it’s something I dug up from ‘back then’. Been going through some old lyrics and samples while we’ve got all this time on our hands. It’s kinda cathartic to go over some of that stuff now there’s a bit more distance you know”

______

A couple of years ago, you’d been stuck in a really toxic relationship with your ex, Stevie. Your time with him had been a tornado of arguments, drugs and the constant heartache of him cheating on you. Every time you’d get close to having the strength to leave, you’d always cave in and the mess would continue with you losing a bit of yourself each time you stayed. You’d become pretty used to his violent outbursts, he had always been controlling and short tempered, often pushing you and throwing stuff around your apartment. Despite his own frequent infidelity, he flew into a jealous rage with you constantly.

He’d always hated Colson, despite him being one of your best friends, and while he’d play nice to his face you’d always get it in the neck once you were alone about how you and Colson were ‘too close’ and he ‘didn’t trust him’. Before that final night you’d spent with him, things had been pretty good with the two of you for a few weeks, there hadn’t been much drama and so you hadn’t thought too much of inviting him out with you and the gang for a night out clubbing. Your good run had clearly come to an end, when you felt his hand grab your arm tightly and drag you off the dancefloor where you’d been dancing with Colson. You’d been bundled into an uber so quickly, you hadn’t even managed to get your handbag from inside. You saw Colson running out of the club, followed by Rook and Slim who was holding your bag, as the cab pulled away.

Once you were back at the apartment, he flew into a rage. You’d never seen him this bad before, his eyes were dark and when you tried to argue back, calling his jealousy ‘pathetic’ he snapped. He’d grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the wall, “Don’t you ever disrespect me like that again” he’d spat in your face, before striking you so hard with his fist that the skin across your cheek split open. It was as if his actions had knocked him back to reality, he’d let go of you and you ran to your bedroom, locked the door behind you and started packing a bag. He hammered on the door, begging you to open it and you could hear that he was crying. You looked around for your phone before you remembered you’d left it at the club. Desperate to get away, you opened your laptop and brought up instagram, managing to send Colson a message asking him to send you an uber to his house straight away. You’d thrown your laptop and a few more bits in your bag, the battery dying before you had a chance to wait for a reply, before pulling the bedroom door open and barging past Stevie. He’d tried to grab you, but you’d finally had enough “Never fucking touch me again” you spat, pushing him off you. The hatred in your voice rooted him to the spot and he said nothing as you walked out, the door slamming behind you.

Once you were outside the apartment building, the reality of what had just happened and the situation you were in started to wash over you. You had no phone, no wallet, your laptop was dead. Just as you were starting to seriously panic, an uber pulled up and Colson had leapt out of the backseat. You’d been in total shock and had just let Colson guide you into the cab and then out into his house, up to his room. He didn’t say anything as he led you to his bathroom and lifted you up onto the counter. He grabbed a flannel and soaked it with warm water, rinsing it out before pressing it softly against the cut on your cheek, gently wiping away the blood that had mixed with your mascara laced tears. The tenderness of his actions was almost too much and you started to sob again.

“Hey, hey. Y/N, look at me” he said softly, lifting your chin so you looked at him, his blue eyes misty themselves “It’s okay, you’re safe here. Don’t move, I’ll be back in a sec”

He left the bathroom and returned with a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Putting them on the counter next to you, he crouched down and undid the straps on your heels, slipping them off your feet and then helping you down from the counter. “I’ll leave you to change”

When you came out of the bathroom, Colson was lying in his bed “Come here” he said, holding his arm and beckoning into his side. You crawled under the covers next to him and snuggled into him, his long arms wrapping around you.

“Col…” you said quietly

“Yeah?” he whispered back, stroking your hair off your forehead

“Thank you…”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ve always got you Y/N”

______

“I hated that fucking guy. That night...I wanted to kill him after what he’d done to you”

You see him tense up at the memory and you lean over and squeeze his knee “You’re such an amazing friend, do you know that. I don’t know what I would’ve done that night without you”

"You're a fucking warrior Y/N, you'd have handled your shit. I was just happy you trusted me enough to let me be there for you. You deserve so much better than that" he says, covering the hand you'd placed on his knee with his, staring you in the eyes and returning the smile that's crept across your face

"You know there's been a few punches I've wanted to dole out on behalf of you over the years, but you've never let me" you tell him

"Too right I'd never let you. I never want you in the drama, you're too good for getting caught up in that shit" he replies, pointing at you with mock sternness

"Hey" he says, seeing your expression wash over with a tint of sadness "At least the sleepless nights aren't what they were then…

… If we're gonna work through some old demons this lockdown, I'm sure I've got some songs and lyrics that have never seen the light of day" He reaches over the desk and pulls his laptop towards him "You've inspired me… "

"Oh no, are we gonna fuck our heads up with this?" you joke nervously, worrying that Colson's going to delve into something that's going to upset him

"Nah, I got you covered and you got me, right?"

"True dat" you say, as he holds his fist out so you can fistbump, his eyes now focused on his laptop screen

______

You felt kinda bad, having kept Colson up all night with you the last two nights, especially as you'd got him reminiscing about some tough memories, so tonight you tried to sneak past his room when your restlessness got the better of you.

"Nice try kid!" Colson says as he throws his bedroom door open, causing you to yelp in fright. standing there topless with his sweatpants hung low in his hips, he lights the joint hanging from his mouth "I told you we were in this together now"

"I felt bad, making you stay up with me"

"You didn't make me do shit…Wait a sec, let me find a hoodie. If I have any left in here…" he says, giving a pointed look towards the huge blue hoodie you were wrapped in before walking back into his room and rummaging through his drawers

"Oh shush, you have like a hundred…"

"Right come on" he says, pulling a pink hoodie over his head and flipping the hood up over his messy hair "Let's see what we get into tonight…"

______

And so the nights went on like this, the two of you falling into an easygoing studio routine. If there wasn't anything else going on in the house, you'd eat dinner together then head to the studio and work through the night into the small hours, skipping out the pretense of trying to sleep. You were both pretty productive at this time it seemed, both being proclaimed night owls, and keeping busy during these uncertain times was keeping your minds off the unfolding pandemic.

Considering he’d referred to his home studio in the past as the ‘rage cage’ (and it certainly could still be party central when the entire crew got involved), it was actually a place you drifted towards to relax these days. You’d always worked well together in a studio, but over the weeks spending so much time just the two of you, you became more in tune with each other, noticing when one of you had hit a wall and it was time for bed. Sometimes you'd work in comfortable silence, side by side, engrossed in your own seperate tasks. Sometimes barely any work would get done as you put the world to rights talking about anything and everything in a late night impromptu therapy session.

This evening, you'd been sitting cross legged in your chair for hours now, focusing so hard on editing a song which was driving you mad, you hadn't realised your feet had gone numb. As you try to move, your knees crack and pins and needles shoot through your legs. Colson looks up from the screen he'd been engrossed in after hearing you groan and sees you rubbing your feet trying to bring back the feeling to them

‘C’mere’ he said, before turning his chair towards you and leaning down to grab your legs, bringing your feet up onto his lap. He pulls your socks off and begins massaging your feet. You lean your head back, eyes closed and let out a long ‘hmmm’. You don’t see Colson glancing over at you and shifting in his seat as he lets out slow breath before turning back to his screen

“Now this is the kind of work session I could get used to”, you sighed "You being my studio bitch on hand for foot rubs. Although, I imagine this enjoyment goes both ways Mr Foot Lover” you tease, throwing him an exaggerated wink

Colson throws his head back with a hearty chuckle, and light heartedly slaps your calf

"Keep it in your pants Y/N"

You laugh and wiggle your toes, Colson letting out a dramatic, throaty groan in response. "Those are some sexy little toes though" he states, sticking his tongue out.

Still laughing, you put your hand to your chest, and gasp as you feign prudishness and try to pull your feet away. He grabs both your feet in one of his hands, keeping them in place then leans over the desk and pulls your laptop towards you

"Get on with some work you, this is supposed to be keeping you motivated, not distracted"

He scolds affectionately, with a smile on his face

“Okay, okay, spoilsport” you grumble as you pull your computer onto your lap

Half an hour passes, your legs still on Colson’s lap with him still massaging your feet absentmindedly with one hand while he works, and your eyes begin to feel heavy. You don’t realise you’ve fallen asleep, until you’re awoken by a “woah” from Colson as he catches your laptop which is about to fall. Taking it from your lap, he states “Right, time for bed you”

You check your phone and see it’s already 5:36am.

You stand up and stretch then walk over behind Colson, putting your arms around his shoulders, and resting your chin on his head. Looking at his screen, you yawn “You got much left to do?”

He leans back into you, bringing his hand up to rest on your arm, “Making some good progress so just gonna finish a couple of bits”

“Okay dude” you gently kiss the top of his head and squeeze the back of his neck a couple of times as you turn to leave “Try and get some rest, we’ve got a long day of sweet fuck all to do tomorrow” you say through another big yawn

“Heh yeah, Night Kid” he says softly, letting out a yawn himself. Colson turns and watches you head out of the studio and lets out a big sigh. Feeling the back of his neck still tingle from where you’d squeezed it, he’s suddenly aware of how empty the room feels without you in it....

______

Taglist: @triplexdoublex @thisshitisfuckingdifficult @brightblaqkkheaven

Lace Up! ❌❌

#colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #mgk fluff #mgk smut #Colson Baker #colson baker smut #Mgk #machine gun kelly #mgk fanfiction #Mgk fic #Colson fic #Colson imagine

[unkownknowledge]

This post is a sort of collaboration with @golden-wingseos who is kindly letting me use their toxic traits post as a base for writing some Fluff! Check 'em out! Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: Albedo might be a OOC. This is my first attempt at more serious writing. And of course you should always remember that problems in a relationship might need more than a short talk.

Edit: request are open, if anyone reading this likes it feel free to request. Rules are pinned.

Now onto my post:

_____________________

Albedo: your heart is real

_____________________________

-you knew Albedo's secret, you knew his feelings, you knew enough to know he didn't want to love you.

-yet he did.

-you also believed he shouldn't be chained to someone else's wishes, especially when it wouldn't bring him happiness.

You were sitting in Albedo's lap, your head on his shoulder as you gently played with his hair.

"I'm going to destroy monstadt you know," he said, like he always does in an attempt to push you away, "that includes the people"

"Then I'll just stop you." You reply calmly.

"Then I'll have to kill you."

"So then you won't destroy monstadt."

Albedo was confused, you usually told him you would stop him but you've never said he wouldn't do it to begin with.

Albedo grabbed your shoulders and made you look at him, "what does that mean? Why wouldn't I destroy monstadt?"

"Because you would have to kill me." You said smiling.

'That damn smile' he thought, "why would I not destroy monstadt, not fulfill my master's wish, just because you would need to die?"

"Because you love me."

Albedo pushed you off and got on top of you, holding a knife to your throat, "would someone who loved you so this?"

"Yes" you never stopped smiling at him.

"Exa-wait what?" Albedo was dumbfounded, not comprehending what you meant.

"You're trying to push me away," you grabbed his shaking hands and pushed them down, causing him to release the knife, "because you don't want to feel any remorse, because you don't want to hurt me."

"Who says-"

"And I know you don't want to destroy monstadt," you grabbed his head and brought him closer, "because you love it there."

"I'm not real, I'm just a tool my master made to carry out their dreams. Stop treating me like a person."

"But you are a person, and as a person you can choose what you want."

"Well I want monstadt destroyed!"

"Even if that meant killing me?"

Albedo was shocked, he never felt conflicted before. Not in following his master's wishes, but now? At your words? He doubted every desire he's had.

You placed his hand on his heart, "feel that?"

"That's my heart..."

"So your heart is real. Now tell me, what does a tool need with a heart?"

Albedo didn't answer.

"Your master might want to destroy monstadt, but who says they want you to? Why give a weapon a heart?"

You didn't give Albedo time to respond before you kissed him.

"Your heart is real. Just like your love for me."

Albedo sat up and pulled you back into his lap, "you're an anomaly you know that? No one else can make me feel this way." He looked into your eyes and put his hands on your cheeks, "I guess I can hold off on destroying monstadt, atleast until I conclude my research on you."

"Well, let's start experimenting."

_____________________________

Hope that didn't suck.

_____________________________

Diluc: you'll get hurt if you love me

_____________________________

-Diluc has been avoiding you for a month now, he hasn't even gone out to do his darkknight hero duties.

-he's just locked himself away in his manor, ordering his servants to not let you in.

-Diluc, however, forgets that you met because you tried stealing from his house.

You were fed up with Diluc, he kept pushing you away and now he has CROSSED THE LINE! You're going to break into his room and make him explain why he's been avoiding you, it's been a year since you and him went on a date and now this? Something is seriously wrong.

You climbed up to the window sill and lock picked your way in, you walked over to Diluc's bed and sat down, waiting for him to return.

Diluc entered the door and, without looking, fell on his bed right next to you.

"You look tired, almost like you took the long way home just to avoid the route I take."

Diluc shot up and looked at you in shock.

You crossed you arms over your chest, "I want an explanation."

"(Y/n) what do you m-"

"You know full well! And don't call me (y/n)! You always call me 'dearest' or 'honey's, in fact you do a lot of things you seem to have forgotten about, like dinners, and tea times, and DATES!"

"Please I-"

"No! No running away, no excuses!" You grabbed his shoulders and turned him to you, "why the hell are you avoiding me!?"

Diluc looked up and saw you were crying. This isn't what he wanted, this is the opposite of what he wanted!

Diluc looked away, unable to face you, "Because I want you to hate me."

Your eyes widened, "w-what?"

"I want you to leave me, in a way that won't make you sad to leave me."

"Why!?"

"BECAUSE YOU'LL GET HURT IF YOU LOVE ME!"

You jumped at him and held him close, and yourself closer, "idiot."

"What?"

"I said," you managed between sobs, "your an idiot, Diluc. I knew full well what I was doing when I fell in love with you, and I did it anyway. What-what gi-gives you the right t-to abandon me now?"

Diluc was shocked to say the least, he didn't know what to say.

"I know how dangerous being near you is, how many enemies you have, how likely I am to die, but Diluc," you look up at him with tear stained eyes, "I won't be able to live another day, not without you in it."

Diluc pulled you onto his lap and held you, enveloping as much as he could.

"(Y/n)- honey, I'm sorry," he cried in your hair, "I'm so sorry, so very very sorry. I just wanted to protect you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you got hurt because of me."

"But you did hurt me, you hurt my heart."

"I know.. but please," he tilted you head so your eyes would meet his, "let me heal it."

_____________________________

Kaeya: no more secrets

_____________________________

I wrote this perfectly but the draft didn't save. If it's bad blame my rage.

_____________________________

Another day without you.

Another day spent drinking.

Kaeya remembered that day clearly, more clearly than he wanted.

Kaeya was happily walking home to you.

He was always happy on the way home, but he was happiest when he saw your smile. Lately though you've been acting strangely, he was going to talk to you about it today.

"Honey I'm home-" he stopped, it was quiet.

You were never quiet.

He decided you were just out, so he waited.

And waited.

And wait-

"Where are you?"

Kaeya reached for his drink, but he couldn't find it.

"Eh Dilc, wers meh ferkin dernk!?"

Diluc sighed, "sober up."

Kaeya slammed his hands on the bar and grabbed Diluc by the collar, "WAH SHELD AH BEH SURBER!? WAHTS DA FEKEN PEINT IB TAY AIN ERE WID MEH!?"

Kaeya fell backwards and cried, "wad tay lev meh Dilc?"

Diluc sighed and walked around the bar to his brother, "sober up," he picked Kaeya up, "and I'll tell you."

Diluc carried Kaeya to the winery.

Next day

Kaeya woke up with a scream, "(Y/N) WAIT!"

He looked around and saw he was in an unfamiliar bedroom.

Diluc walked in with water and breakfast, "are you sober?"

Kaeya held his head, "I wish I wasn't."

"Well you'll want to be," Diluc set his brother's breakfast down on the nightstand, "I'm going to tell you how to get (y/n) back."

Kaeya jumped at his brother, knocking them both to the ground as he held the red head's throat, "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

Diluc calmly pushed Kaeya off, who was weak as hell right now, "calm down, you need you to understand why they left or they'll just leave you again."

Kaeya just laid there.

"Good. Now listen because this is something it took me a long time to realize too: communication is key to a relationship."

"What?"

"Did you ever tell (y/n) anything about your work? About your dealings in the dark? About your 'off the clock projects'?"

Kaeay didn't speak.

"I thought so. Kaeya you need to talk to them about your life, if you don't you'll just drive them away."

"BUT I ALREADY DID!" Kaeya shouted as he slammed his fist on the ground.

"True, but I can bring you to them. But you have to swear you'll tell them EVERYTHING."

Kaeya nodded.

Diluc and Kaeya took a trip to Liyue, to a remote village you were living in.

"They're in here. Remember Kaeya, no secrets."

You opened the door at Kaeya's knocking, before immediate closing it.

"Go away Kaeya."

"(Y/n) please, I want to make amends."

"How? Batting your eyelashes? A kiss on the cheek? Sex? Well? What have you come up with as a substitute to trust this time?"

"No. No substitute, no lies, none of that. I'm here to tell you the truth (y/n)."

You opened the door, "no more secrets?"

"No, darling, no more secrets."

_____________________________

Childe: you give me strength

_____________________________

Childe met you when you first joined the fatui, and from the first day he was smitten. You always strived to get better, never once did your lack if vision keep you from being powerful nor keep you from getting more powerful. You were his ideal person for him.

But you didn't feel like it.

You always worried, 'what if I lost? What if I can't get stronger? What if I'm weak?' Were constant thoughts going through your head. You knew Childe was greedy for power, how he wanted nothing but power, how he would do anything for it, and as far as you were aware he cut off anything that held him back.

Even you.

You pushed yourself to far everytime you trained, to the point you were getting weaker by how little time you took to recuperate. But you never realized nor did you let anyone know out fear for what Childe would do if he saw you being so insecure in yourself.

You realized you were getting weaker and weaker, and that scared you, scared you to the point you decided to take drastic measures.

You decided you would prove how strong you are.

With Childe

Childe sighed as he wrote yet another debt collection warrant, he was tired from the month long mission he just got back from and now he had to do this. He decided he would indulge himself and pamper you when he got home, after all nothing pleased him more than seeing your constantly stern face blush and smile as he showered you in gifts and affection. And while he wasn't exactly good at reading people in an emotional sense, even he could tell you were insecure about something so he wanted to talk to you about it, maybe even introduce you to his family.

He wad actually getting lost in happy thoughts when a collector ran in, "HARBINGER! I HAVE URGENT NEWS!"

Childe glared at him, "what is it, I was thinking about my snow flower!"

"IT'S ABOUT THEM SIR!"

Childe snapped the pen between his fingers and stoop, "what happened."

"Sir they-"

"WHAT HAPPENED!"

"SIR! (Y/N) HAS GONE OFF TO TRY AND SLAY A GEO REGISVINE!"

Childe immediately bolted over his desk and sped through the bank, out of the harbor, and across the country of Liyue at speeds lost would think belonged to Baal themself.

He got to the regisvine just in time to block an attack that would have killed you.

It took him mere seconds to completely demolish it.

Childe approached your crumpled form, you could barely move and your bones were probably all broken.

"Ch-chi-lde..." you got out before blacking out from pain.

Next day

You woke up, everything below your chin was in a caste and you felt about as bad as you looked.

"Let me through!" You heard the one voice you didn't want to hear right now.

"Sir please they have to r-"

"DID I FUCKING STUTTER!"

A doctor was flung through the door and Childe charges right at you.

'This is it,' you thought, closing your eyes, 'he's going to cast me away, like I always knew-'

Your thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of lips against your own, and a wet feeling against your cheeks.

You opened your eyes in time to see Childe pull away from you, "what were you thinking you idiot?"

You looked at Childe, dumbfounded.

"WHY DID YOU DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID!?"

"W-what?"

"Why did you try and kill a regisvine on your own?!"

You looked away.

"WHY (Y/N)!? WHY!?"

"Because I don't want you to leave me..."

Childe recoiled at that, what did you mean you didn't want him to leave you?

"Why in the world would I want to leave you? Your my snow flower."

"Yes but..." you didn't want to say it.

"Come on, snow flower," Childe put his fingers under your chin and gently made you meet his gaze, "you can tell me anything."

"You...you only care for power...and I could tell I was only getting weaker no matter how much I tried, I was....I was afraid....afraid you would leave me...."

"(Y/n)," Childe said lovingly, yet with obvious sadness, "please, I dont want power just for power's sake.... I'm so sorry that I seemed that way to you."

"But you always seem so...dedicated to getting power..."

"Yes, but power is simply a means to an end," Childe chuckles, "I have a family, with a lot of siblings, and I care about all of them. I do so much for them, and every bit of power: be it with more, status, or pure power they are what drives me to get it. I'll admit though that it has developed into a bit of a....addiction, I guess you could call it, to battle and by extension to getting stronger. I-I didn't realize how much I let that take over-"

"No!" You shout, "no! Don't apologize for that. That's why I love you: your drive for power, your willingness to never settle, everything you do you do for power. I don't care if it's because you like battle or you like your family, because I love it. I love you. And I don't want to hold you back, and because of that I didn't want to be so weak that you had to....dispose of me..."

Childe kneeled besides you, "(y/n). You never have to worry about holding me back. Remember what you said? Even if I do, granted in a much smaller part than I originally stated, want power to protect my family, it is also very true that I want power for nothing more than to have it. But you could never hold me back from that, in fact you give me strength, (y/n)."

You chuckled, "that's so cheesey Childe."

"Well it's true, and the only thing more true is this:" Childe leans towards you, "I. Love. You."

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #albedo x reader #childe x reader #sorry it took this long #and sorry if it's bad #fanfiction #genshin imagines

[clairecrive]

“Burn” - Bane x reader [Requested]

A/N: this is for this anon. Thanks again for requesting! I missed writing for Bane.

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.5K

Taglist: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @sopxhiea, @shadow-of-wonder, @fandom--0verdose, @fuseburner, @kind-wolf, @innerpaperexpertcloud (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)

The vastity of the night sky had always helped y/n ease her worries. Surely, whatever was bothering her couldn’t be as big and impossible to solve as she was making it out to be. Because, would you look at that? The universe is so big and we’re so small, so insignificant. and that applied to her problems too. 

At least that was what she always told herself whenever she’d feel lost and hopeless. Thinking this way helped her put things into perspective. And sure, not everything was as easily solved but, even in that case, it helped a bit.

And so here they were, she and Bane were laying down staring up at the starry sky. Sometimes, they would spend it in silence, just enjoying the warmth and comfort the other’s body would bring. Others, like this one, they would easily fall into conversations about everything and nothing.

“Was there someone special in your life? Someone you wish to get back to?”

“You mean, romantically?”

He nodded.

“No. Single for life.” She did a peace sign to lighten up her embarrassment but Bane was curious and did not pay it any mind.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never given your heart to anyone?”

“Well, if you put it that way I have to change my answer to yes. Being in a relationship with someone and giving someone your heart are two wholly different things.”

“Let me rephrase then. Have you ever been in love?”

She really thought about the answer, her mind going back to any romantic involvement she might have had during her life. Even if she scouted her memories, she found that it wasn’t a yes or no question.

“I guess,” not only was the word she chose explicative of her indecision but the tentative tone of her voice left no doubts as to where she was standing. But Bane was confused, to say the least.

“I’ve always been under the impression that love was one of those things where absolute certainty was involved when it came to its presence or absence.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I have had mostly one-sided crushes, you know?” she started but Bane could see the faraway look in her eyes and knew that she had more to tell but was lacking the right words. So he waited.

“I said ‘I guess’ because I don’t really know what love is. I mean, everyone has a different take on it depending on their experiences but I don’t think I’ve ever felt it,” she paused turning to meet his eyes, “once there was a guy I strongly had feelings for. Even that was one-sided though and it took me a long time to recover from that because he was my best friend at the time. Looking back to it, I guess it was love or the closest thing to it that I’ve ever felt for someone. It hasn’t happened again though so I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“Maybe it wasn’t love, just deep infatuation. Or maybe I just confused my love for him as a friend for something more. I don’t know. I guess I’ll figure it out when I fall in love with someone else. “ She concluded and refrained from correcting that when with if. she couldn’t see herself being as lucky as to have someone that cared about her and that loved her in the future. But Bane didn’t need to know that.

Turns out that those unspoken words had become a sort of oracle, ‘cause here they were now, years after they had that conversation. Just when she thought that she had found that one person to share her life with, to give her heart to, life quickly come into play letting her know that that wasn’t the case.

Because the man that had saved her from a destiny worse than death, who had given her hope and made her trust him to the point where she had felt safe enough to open up to him and allow him close to her heart, had now shattered whatever remained of it.

"So let me get this straight, first you save my life than you decide to keep me with you so you basically kidnap me, get me to fall in love with you, put me through an insanely difficult training so that I could stay with you but it was all done in vain because now you’re  sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away but you cannot stay here anymore. I’m doing this for you."

"And why is that? What changed?" and when Bane stayed silent she added, "what happened to 'I want you always' ?"

"I did not lie to you." His words were in striking contrast to the ones he had said before but y/n had learned to read him and could tell that this time he was not lying. But then the question naturally arises, what's really going on?

Nothing out of order had happened in the last few days. Bane and she had been the same as always, even his work had proceeded as usual. So what was it? What was she not thinking about? What was she not seeing?

Letting her mind go back through the last day to fat check that nothing happened, she went through their actions. Light breakfast together followed by a not so light tête à tête then they trained together until he had to deal with something for his work and she had occupied herself otherwise. She had called him to see when she could get dinner started and he said that he had a meeting with Talia first but had come right after. They had dinner and while they consumed their healthy and perfectly balanced meal she shared with him whatever came to her mind while he ate in silence. See, nothing out of order.

Wait a minute...

He went to meet Talia.

"It's her, isn't it?" Suddenly, everything was clear. She knew what had happened, what had changed. And she sneered at the pull Talia had on him. Suddenly, she understood but at the same time, the last year lost its meaning.

"I just wish I realized earlier that you didn't care about me as much as you said you did," turning she went to her cabinet to get her stuff, "I wouldn't have put myself through so much otherwise." 

Nodding, she knew what she had to do. She had to leave. There was no reason to stay. Resolute and defeated she put everything her eyes fell on that was hers in a little bag. Clothes, lingerie, cosmetics, books. But when her eyes landed on the little box where she kept everything connected to him, her heart broke further and her anger was fueled. 

In there, there was every present Bane ever gave her. Every little thing that made her think of him in some way. The letters he wrote her whenever spoken words failed him. She knew that going through its content would equal to a chronology of their relationship. If it was possible her heart broke even more. Everything she did to stay with him, everything he did to keep her now was all vain. She gave up so much for him, for a man. Her former self would be ashamed of her and knew that her heartbreak was contributing to making her feel something akin to that. 

"Here," she said walking where he was standing, "take this. I don't want it anymore," and she threw it at his feet. The only acknowledgement on his part was a tilt of his head but it wasn't needed. He knew what it was and what she kept inside of it. He felt a pang in his heart but kept his face void of any emotion. 

"I'll want you always," she said mocking his voice, still stuffing stuff in her bag and chuckled with mirth, "what a load of bullshit." 

"Actually," stilling for a second, with a shirt cramped in her fist she faced him, "I am the biggest clown between us because I believed you." retrying her stuffing, shaking her head she added in a whisper, "I should have known better," but Bane heard. 

As soon as he decided on this course of action, he had also prepared for her reaction. He knew her well and so far she hadn't done anything that he hadn't expected. And while he had been ready, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He knew how she was looking at this situation, knew that his words had led her to believe it to be so. At the same time, a little part of him wished for her to oppose to his words, to see right through them and see that he was lying. That he had been honest when he had told her those things, he had opened up to her and meant everything. But knew that she was too lost to rage and hurt to think clearly. And it was also the reason why she was acting up and had thrown the box on the floor. He knew that she deeply cared about it and what it meant to her. He almost thought of offering some kind of comfort, to give her some hint about what was really going on. But knew that it would be unfair to her. After all, he was doing for the sake of her safety.

“You know,” her voice brought him back and his eyes were immediately drawn to her, “isn’t it funny how you man always pride yourselves to be strong and all that bullshit when even someone like you, who’s the epitome of masculinity and strength, at the end is totally subjected to a woman?” 

They would always have this kind of conversation. Bane, being a leader of a huge army, had the tendency to be bossy. Even in situations when it wasn’t needed. It was just who he was and he felt the need to remind her of his alfa status an unnecessary lot of times. While she could enjoy this inclination of his when they were in bed, she definitely couldn’t stand it in their everyday life. And now, it made her feel stupid that she had to put with it and learn how to deal with it but when it came to Talia, he just did whatever she told him to. Also, this changed her consideration of him. What a clown. She had tried to warn him about his rather toxic relationship with Talia but he’d always get angry and dismiss the conversation either by leaving or shouting at her. She could remember their last fight about it like it was yesterday. It was also the first time that she had ever doubted her relationship with him. The first time that she had thought that maybe she had made a mistake by staying with him, by falling in love with him. Maybe she should have left as soon as she had rescued her. It wasn’t for the motive of their fight, neither her jealousy and worry about his relationship with Talia, but it had all to do with what he shouted her in rage that made her blood run cold and her heart shatter. For it was said that angry and drunk people were the more honest ones. And since that moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he really thought what he said to her or if it was just an impulse propelled by anger as he had explained.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have saved you.” 

And then, as if that wasn’t enough, he decided to twist the knife further.

“I told you not to fall in love with me.”

As if one could choose who they fell for, she remembers thinking.

Those words still haunted her to this day. It happened a while ago and Bane had made it up to her, mostly. But it was in situations like this that they would come back and mock her for even forgiving him and thinking that he loved her as she loved him. To think that even a small part of him thought that it was best that he had left her to suffer in the hands of a sex abuser until he would have eventually tired of her and killed made her sick. How could anyone say something like that to another human being? One they presumedly loved? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Bane had then explained that by that he didn’t mean leaving her with her captor but simply bring her with him and keeping her with him. Despite the fact that his explanation made sense, y/n still didn’t think it made things better.

And as for his second statement, it went mostly unmentioned. 

Sure, that had been something he had told her in the beginning. It was after her training required them to spend most of their days together since he wanted to attend to it personally. Y/n knew that being in the military and with his past, it wasn’t easy for Bane to show emotions let alone let someone close enough to him to allow himself to love them. She understood that. She had a few things she was dealing with that made it difficult for her to entertain the idea of something more between them.

But that was almost a year ago. So much had happened in their life and between them that even though the words were not spoken aloud, she felt the shift in both their behaviours when it came to them. Hell, they even started dating. 

Not that any of them labelled it that way. But that was beside the point.

They slept together, they ate together every meal, they lived together. If there was a band on both their left ring fingers and it was a more conventional setting, people would assume they were married. 

While y/n didn’t like thinking about what they had in that way, she surely considered the commitment they had made to each other equivalent to a marriage. 

She hadn’t considered Talia though. 

Or at least, she had hoped that if she ever would try and come between them, Bane would stand up for her. 

Turns out that she really was foolish.

“Whatever, I guess it’s not my problem anymore.” Giving him her back again, she closed the almost full bag and went to put on some shoes and coat. 

“I don’t have any use for it, you should take it with you.”

“Neither have I. Burn it, see if I care.” 

And with that, y/n turned around and walked out of their shared apartment at last.

It hurt to say the words, it hurt that things had ended to abruptly, it hurt that even after all this time he didn’t care about her, it hurt like hell but y/n was resolute in leaving all of this behind her. Yes, it wasn’t going to be easy and maybe it would be like leaving a hot fire trail behind her but at one point the fire would burn out, wouldn’t t? 

It may take a while but she would be okay,

#bane #bane dcu #bane imagine #bane x reader #bane imagines #bane one shot #bane angst #like super angst #mention of Talia #bane x oc #tom hardy bane #TDKR #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagines

[imaginationintowords]

Folklore [song series]

epiphany

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

[warnings: death]

word count: 3168

Age: 21 Year: Sep. 2015 Location: Brooklyn, NY

"So I was thinking, godparents," Bucky spoke up. He and Natasha were currently finishing setting up the baby's nursery in their new apartment.

They had found a nice two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, much to Natasha's dismay. Bucky thought it was the perfect place to start their new little family. It was also about a 20 to 30 minutes drive to Bucky's work and University campus. His mom and stepdad had even offered to help them out financially for a bit, just as long as Bucky continued on his path to graduate with his Masters in Music Technology in the Spring.

Bucky had managed to finish his bachelor's and masters program in just the span of 4 years, a whole year earlier than originally planned. He was proud of himself, if there's one thing he hadn't screwed up yet, it was his education. He had fully devoted himself to his education the last four years and it clearly paid off. He had also managed to get a good paying job at a studio as an engineer. He had his whole future all planned out, the pregnancy might've been a curve ball at the beginning but with the help of his family and therapist, he was handling it all so well.

"Oh you don't need to worry about the godparents, I have it all figured out already," Natasha tells him as she folds baby clothes, "I picked Abigail and Dylan."

Natasha on the other hand had decided to put her education on hold. Deciding she wanted to be a stay at home mom, Bucky constantly made sure that that's what she wanted. And she insisted every time that she was "made to be a stay at home mom". So Bucky had to reluctantly allow her to make that decision. 

Which was one of the reasons why his parents had offered to help out for at least the first year or two, they had known their son was already stressing about finances, and trying to respect Natasha's decision. They figured two years would be a good enough time for the couple to build up their savings.

Bucky didn't like the fact that his parents were helping out with money, but he knew him and Nat wouldn't have been able to make it just on is current income alone. At least not until after he graduated, his boss had already promised a raise once he graduated, but that wasn't until May and the baby was due in the next two weeks.  He promised to pay his parents back every cent they gave him, but they told him to just focus on being a good father.

"Abigail and Dylan?" He questioned.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders.

"The same Abigail and Dylan that showed up to the baby shower high, and proceed to get drunk, because and I quote 'babies are so boring'. That Abigail and Dylan?"

"Come on James, they were just joking, plus baby showers aren't necessarily the most fun thing in the world," she rolled her eyes.

"Can we at least each choose one godparent?" He suggested, "You can have Abigail as the Godmother and I can choose The Godfather."

"Like Sam?"

"No, not Sam. Steve," Bucky tells her.

"Oh, then no," she simply said, turning her back to him to continue putting clothes away.

"What's your problem?" Bucky asks annoyed, finally having enough of her attitude, "This entire pregnancy you've been against everything I've suggested."

"Hey, you got to choose Brooklyn," she turned around pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah because I couldn't fucking afford Manhattan Natasha," he stressed, trying not to raise his voice at her, "You didn't want to know the gender of the baby? Fine. You get to name the baby? Fine. You choose the color scheme of the nursery, fine. You choose the hospital. You choose the apartment. God damn Nat, I haven't done a single thing but pay for everything."

"And I thank-you for that," she rolled her eyes.

"But you don't," he shakes his head in disbelief over her reactions, "You haven't thanked me once. I get that you're carrying our child, and I'm appreciative of that. But god damn Natasha, show me some respect. Show my family some respect!

"You didn't thank my mom, Rebecca, or Keith for everything they've done for you. For us. And I can't keep making up excuses to defend you," he raises his voice a little bit.

"If this relationship is ever going to work, you need to be respectful. You need to stop being so selfish. I get this isn't easy for you, but trust me, this isn't easy for me either. But I agreed to do this. I am stepping up. I want to be a part of my child's life. And I want us to be together and be family," he calms down, "But if you continue to act this way. I won't stay in this relationship."

"You're just going to abandon us?" Natasha asks grabbing her belly, suddenly realizing the reality of the situation.

"No, I won't abandon you both. But we won't be together," he explains, "I will always be in my child's life. I will always be there for them. I'm not going to put my child through the same thing I went through growing up. I promised myself I would never do that."

"So if that means that you and I break up, then so be it Natasha, I'll do it," he tells her, "My child will not grow up in a toxic household."

"Okay," she agrees, tears in her eyes, "I promise I will be better."

"Don't promise me Nat, just show me."

Two and a half weeks later Bucky found himself rushing an in-labor Natasha to the hospital, it was a quick k10 minute drive from their apartment. He quickly called his mom as the nurses wheeled Natasha away, with Bucky following.

Bucky's mom arrives within the next 10 minutes, as the nurses begin to prep Natasha in her hospital room.

Bucky sent a quick text to Steve and Sam, letting them know it was showtime and that he'll call them once the baby is here.

"How's Mama doing?" The doctor asked while entering the room, quickly taking her spot at the foot of the bed to examine Natasha.

"It hurts," Nat cried, as Bucky tried to soothe her.

"I know, but unfortunately you were too far dilated when you arrived, that it's too late for the epidural," the doctor softly explains, "But the good news is I feel Baby's head, so it's time to go."

Natasha looked over at Bucky, completely scared.

"It's okay," he assured her, "I'm right here. Everything's going to be okay."

He leaned down an placed a soft kiss to her lips, helping her relax a bit.

"Ready?" The doctor looks up at Natasha.

"Yes," Natasha nodded, grabbing a hold of Bucky and his mom's hands on either side of her.

10 minutes later, a soft cry was heard in the room. Bucky quickly glanced over to where the doctor was had finished pulling the baby out.

"Congrats Mommy and Daddy, it's a girl," she announced.

"A girl?" Bucky whispered in awe, tears filling his eyes. He looked over at Natasha, who looked a lot paler in color.

"Nat?" He called out for her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, her limbs went limp, and all the monitors started to go crazy.

The doctor quickly cut the umbilical chord and handed the baby off to an awaiting nurse.

"What's going on?" Bucky panicky asked.

"Get them out," the doctor told a nurse, ignoring Bucky's question.

A nurse quickly escorted Bucky and his mom out of the room.

"She's going to be okay right?" He asked his mom, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know honey," she honestly said, wrapping her arms around her son. She never thought the first hug they shared after him becoming a father would be like this.

She continued to hold him, soothing him as she made silent prayers pleading for Natasha's safety.

10 minutes later. The same 10 minutes it took for them to arrive to the hospital. The same 10 minutes it took Natasha to bring their daughter into the world, the door opened.

Bucky quickly pulled apart from his mom to see the doctor walking out of the room.

The doctor's face was filled with sorrow. Bucky's mom immediately put her head down, already knowing the outcome.

"How is she?" Bucky asked.

"Mr. Barnes, Natasha had a postpartum hemorrhage, due to issues with her placenta," the doctor carefully explains, "Unfortunately, there was too much blood loss. We weren't able to save her. She died."

Bucky immediately broke down, his mom quickly caught him. The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his back.

He quickly pulled away after a couple of minutes, "The baby. How's the baby?"

"She's good. They took her to get checked just as a safety procedure," the doctor tells him, "She's on the pediatric floor. Would you like to meet her?"

"Yeah," he says, then pauses, "What about Natasha?"

"We can come get you to say goodbye once we get her cleaned," the doctor tells him.

"Okay, thank you," he says.

The doctor takes him and his mom to the pediatric floor. The walk was silent. No one knowing what to say. Bucky was no longer crying, but he felt numb the entire short walk. The doctor knocked quietly on a door, before opening.

"Doctor Monroe, this is Mr. Barnes, the baby's father," the doctor said, before stepping aside to let Bucky in, "Mr. Barnes, I'll have someone come get you when it's time."

"Okay, thank-you," he nodded his head.

"Are you ready to meet your daughter?" Doctor Monroe asked, Bucky nodded his head.

"Meet your Daddy baby girl," the doctor said, gently handing the baby over to Bucky.

Bucky looked down at the small baby in his arms. He was instantly overcome with so many different emotions. The doctor walked out of the room, while Bucky's mom watched from outside threw the window.

"Hi baby girl," he whispered, sniffling back his tears, "You're so beautiful. I'm your dad. And boy am I lucky that you chose me to be your Dad. I always imagined this day would've turned out a lot differently. But life sure knows how to throw some real curveballs."

"Your mom would've loved you," he paused, letting it all sink in. His daughter will have to grow up without a mother. No little girl should have to be without a mom.

"I'm so sorry," he cried, as the baby was lulled to sleep, "I am so sorry your mom won't be able to physically be here. I am so sorry you'll have to grow up without her. No one should have to grow up without a parent. And trust me, I know what that's like. But lucky for us, I had the greatest pleasure of being raised by the most strongest and kindest mother. She taught me everything I know. Your grandma is the best lady you will ever meet. Lucky for us because god knows we're going to be needing her a lot.

"But you and I are incredibly fortunate that we won't ever be alone. We have so many people who care about us. You'll have all the female leadership you can ever need. We can do this," he strongly said to the sleeping baby, "You and I. We can do this. And I promise you this, that no matter what happens, you will always have me. You're stuck with me for the rest of your life. My love for you is greater than anything, anyone I've ever loved. My love for you will always be easy and unconditional. You'll never have to prove your worth to me. You're worth more to me than you can ever possibly imagine. I love you."

Bucky placed a soft kiss to his daughter's forehead. The first kiss he will ever give her, but definitely not the last.

There was a soft knock at the door, he gently called for the person to come in.

His mom quietly opened and closed the door behind her, stepping to her son's side.

"She's beautiful," she smiled down at the little baby.

"She really is," Bucky beamed. He looked over at his mom and noticed she was holding a clipboard, "What's that?"

"Birth certificate," she tells him, "One of the nurses gave it to me. They said there's no rush to fill it out. You have time."

"Here, I can do that," he said gently holding the baby out for her to take.

"Are you sure?" She asked, switching with him.

"Yeah, I have a name anyways."

"What is it?" She looked over at the name written down:

Poppy James Barnes.

[flashback]

After that talk Bucky had with Natasha, he noticed a serious change in her attitude. She was beginning to be more relaxed and more selfless. Bucky felt a tiny weight lifted off his shoulder. Hoping that these changes in her personality would stay.

"So what do you think about James for a boy?" Natasha asked one night, as she and Bucky made dinner together in their small kitchen.

"For a middle name?" He asked confused.

"No, his first name."

"Oh," he paused, "I actually have never liked the idea of giving a child their parents' name. I feel like it doesn't really give them a chance to be their own person. If their parent is successful then they feel the stress of always having to live up to that. And if their parent is crap then they're forever stuck with that reminder of that person."

"That makes sense," she agreed, understanding where he was coming from,

"Then how about James for the middle name. Whether it's a boy or girl."

"I would actually really like that," he smiled at her, "I would like that a lot."

They gathered up their own plates, and sat at their small round table.

"So what other names have you come up with?" Bucky asked her as he took a bite of his chicken.

"Truthfully, I haven't found any good names. All the girls keep making suggestions and they're way too out there," she tells him, "I don't want them to have a name that's too hard to pronounce or spell."

Natasha's phone started to ring, Bucky got up to grab it for her from the living room. By the time he handed it over to her it stopped ringing.

"What kind of flower is that?" He asked her, noticing her phone's Lock Screen background.

"The California Poppy," she tells him.

"Why do you have that as your background?"

"Well my mom was actually from California," she says, "She met my Dad when they both went to Harvard. They fell in love, so she decided to stay out here on the East Coast.

"The only clear memory I have from her was all the stories she used to tell me about poppy season. How the color just made everything so lively. Her parents would take her every season. I remember seeing all the photos of her as a child surrounded by all the flowers. We looked a like as children," she fondly smiled,

"She always talked about taking me to go see them, but she and Dad were always so busy. Then she got sick and there just wasn't a way for us to go. My grandparents tried to get some out here but it was too late. I never did get to see the poppies."

Natasha was silent for a moment, letting what she said sink in. She's never told anyone that story before, the memory would always make her sad. But now sitting here with Bucky, pregnant with their child, for the first time in her life her mother's death didn't bring her such sadness. She could smile at the memory and know she had the utmost best time with her mother, even if it was short lived, she knew her mother loved her. And she can't wait to shower that love onto the baby inside of her, once they were out.

"We should go," Bucky says, "Once the baby is here we should go when it's poppy season. Plus it'd be nice seeing Steve and Liz's life out west."

"Yeah, that sounds nice," her eyes teared up, seeing how generous this man was in front of her, "I'd really love that."

"Poppy, that's cute," Winifred smiled.

"Yeah, Nat would've loved it."

"They said if you were ready, you can say your goodbyes," she carefully said.

"Okay, you're good with her?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to go with you? The nurses can watch Poppy."

"No. I'd feel much better if she was with family," he tells her, "I'll be fine mom. I can do this."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room.

"Take all the time you need," the nurse told Bucky, as she led him to the room Natasha's body was in.

"Thank you," he quietly said.

She opened the door for him, and he carefully stepped inside.

He walked closer to the body on the bed. He immediately started crying at the sight of her lifeless body.

"God Nat," he cried, "I am so sorry. We never even discussed the possibility of this ever happening. I never even thought of this happening. God I don't know how I am going to ever do this alone. I never imagined myself ever raising a child alone."

He takes a moment to catch his breath.

"She's beautiful Nat, so incredibly beautiful," he tells her, "I wish you would've been able to see her. Hold her. I'm going to make sure she knows everything about you. There's not going to be a day where she doesn't know about her mother."

"When poppy season arrives I'm going to make sure to take her. Every year," he wipes away a tear, "Oh, I also named her Poppy. For you. For your mom. I promise I won't let you down. She's going to have the best life ever. I'll make sure of that. Thank-you for everything you've given me. I truly did love you. Goodbye Natasha." _________________ Age: 22

Location: CA

Year: May 2016

The car comes to a stop, parking in a spot next to a bunch of other cars. Bucky, Liz, and Steve get out of the car. Steve and Liz grab a few things from the trunk, while Bucky gets the smiley baby out of the car seat. Bucky places the baby into the stroller, Steve had gotten out. The three of them began to walk towards the field of poppies.

"Wow, there's a lot this year," Liz says, "Do you want to take her out?"

"Yeah, I'll grab her," Bucky says grabbing Poppy.

He walked ahead of Liz and Steve, taking in the moment with his daughter.

"Look at all the poppies," he whispers to the almost eight month old. She had a huge smile on her face taking in the sight around her.

She was making some babbling sounds, as if to agree with her dad.

The weather was perfect. The sun shining down on them, it wasn't too hot or too cold. Bucky just stared at the flowers, with a peaceful feeling washing over him. The last few months haven't been the easiest, but he was making it. They both were making it. Being here, gave him the reassurance that he was doing good. He could feel Natasha's presence with him there. As if she was silently saying how proud she was of him.

"We're going to be fine," he said to Poppy, placing a kiss on her head.

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