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#let them be dumbasses
m0mj34ns · 8 months
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i drawled rhem again👍
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dizzybizz · 3 months
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sleepy gill and gill with the bubbled evil cat
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archdevilsupreme · 2 months
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It is, by far, way too funny to me how I've been confused about Karlach's inventory for god knows how long before realising what's wrong. I was convinced it was the game being bugged since she can carry like 250kg.
Then I realised... she's been carrying around Cazador's corpse all this time. This shit is so funny to me because can you imagine a group of 4 people walking around Baldur's Gate, just casually dragging the corpse of a vampire lord along with them as a sign of dominance (and forgetfulness of said vampire corpse).
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merdie · 1 year
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cringe fail losers my beloved
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Good Omens incorrect quotes:
Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
~
Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.
Crowley: You’re right.
Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*
Crowley: Violence is the question.
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Aziraphale, running after them: NO-
~
Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?
Crowley: I only take cash or credit.
~
Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
~
Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Crowley: What did you do?
Aziraphale: Nobody died.
Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
~
Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Crowley: Killed without hesitation.
Aziraphale: No.
~
*how season 3 should start*
Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!
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Crowley: You're right.
Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
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Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out
Gabriel: great, it’s a date!
Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.
Gabriel: See you at five!
~
Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
~
Beelzebub: I made tea.
Crowley: I don’t want tea.
Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Crowley: Then why are you telling me?
Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.
Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
~
Aziraphale: This is bothering me.
Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.
~
Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: fsh
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Crowley: God, give me patience.
Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
~
Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.
~
Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?
Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
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Muriel: Why are you on the floor?
Crowley: I'm depressed.
Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.
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Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?
Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
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Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Crowley: The cow???
Muriel: What?
Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?
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Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?
Crowley: … No.
Muriel: I do!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
Muriel: I’m sad!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
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Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.
Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.
~
Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.
Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??
Crowley: Angel?
Aziraphale: Yes, dear?
Crowley:
Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.
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Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t
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Aziraphale: We need a distraction.
Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Muriel, whispering: My time has come
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Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
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Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.
Aziraphale: Try again.
Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.
~
Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Crowley: I'm a knife.
Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.
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Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?
Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.
Aziraphale: Oh, okay.
Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?
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Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel
Crowley: Fine.
Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
~
Crowley: Hey angel,
Aziraphale: Yes?
Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?
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Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!
Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!
Crowley: I’m sorry.
Crowley: ... would you like a knife?
~
Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?
Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
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Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.
Muriel: That's gre-
Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
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Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost
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Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?
Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.
~
Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.
Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?
Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.
~
Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.
Muriel: Yes!!!
Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.
Crowley: Obviously.
~
Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?
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vilsoo · 6 months
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my mutuals (majority that had bigger blogs) have all been dropping like dead flies because of a toxic, pathetic writer on this app that drove all them off. rip to munsonsins, getoswhore, kazushawty, literally everyone. and those that have heen affected yet still continue to stay on this app, i hope you’re all doing fine. but these ppl were driven off all because of jealousy reasons, false plagiarism accusations, death threats, cyberbullying, you fucking name it. we lose so much good works and genuine people on here that created their own platforms for the purposes of consuming fanfiction/writing fanfiction 😐 but since they were being dragged into discourse with a certain someone on this app, it’s crazy how their followers dickride the shit out of that thing and send hate/death threats to them through anon like wowww. 😹
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alpacacare-archive · 2 years
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padfoot0216 · 1 year
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(Carlos and Eddie walking into a room after leaving Buck and TK alone for 10 minutes.)
Buck - I know this looks bad-
Eddie - WHY IS THE TABLE STUCK TO THE CEILING!?!
Carlos - How is that even possible?
Buck - In my defense I was left unsupervised.
Eddie - You we’re with TK
TK - I was also left unsupervised.
Carlos, shaking his head - Yeah that makes sense.
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magnusthepuppet · 6 months
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hm. interesting (i’m going insane)
gif by @figmentof
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shallowseeker · 8 months
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Cas being mean to Sam is hilarious, really
So. This is what happens when Cas is alone with Sam, and Sam starts pushing.
Cas does the Cas equivalent of "Shut up, Sam."
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Sam gets annoyed by Cas's annoyance. And that makes Cas even more annoyed, so he uses smaller words and simpler metaphors—a little dig at Sam's approach, I think.
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13x18 Bring em Back Alive
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laz-kay · 2 months
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One overly specific thing I need from Bob’s is for Jimmy Jr and Jocelyn to hang out more. They’re both such dumbasses who’ve clearly known each other for a long time, and they’ve never seen the other in a romantic light. Let them be besties, your honour🥺
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pcktknife · 3 months
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i cant stand stupid ppl bro
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introspectivememories · 7 months
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roger who's nickname for buggy was "junebug" cause they found him in june and his hair is the same color.... buggy who hates it at first until he's climbing into his captain's bed at night bc of a nightmare and his captain says ever so softly, "oh junebug, c'mere"..... the nickname getting adopted by everyone on the crew until nobody calls him buggy anymore..... them meeting up with thr whitebeard pirates and getting irrationally jealous when the whitebeards use the nickname bc that's their nickname and who the fuck do these people think they are getting so close to their junebug.... rouge who has never met buggy calling him junebug in her head.... roger whose last words to buggy that fateful day before loguetown was "you shine like the sun, junebug. never stop"..... buggy who waits for years after the execution for a call from one of his former crew members, hoping every time the den-den one day it'll be rayleigh or seagull or gaban or sunbell on the other side with a familiar "hey junebug", except no one ever calls and the years go by and buggy slowly learns to stop waits, and gives on being the roger's junebug and learns how to be buggy the clown, buggy the genius jester, buggy the immortal, everything and anything other than junebug
#the thing about buggy is that he is always loved but never enough yknow?#and he'll never be his dad's junebug again and it kills him some days#he'll never argue with shanks again and have rayleigh come and break them apart with a 'junebug! shanks! enough you're both dumbasses'#toki-neesan will never let him curl up with momo and hiyori again#those days are over and yet somedays he looks in the mirror and he is still 14 wtching his captain's head hit the ground with a splat#he is still 12 watching his dad walk away from them and knowing in his heart that this was the end#he is still 8 and climbing onto his new home and when his captain asks for his name he says 'buggy sir' and capt laughs and says#'what an ordinary name for a boy like you!' as shanks look ready to well shank capt for the perceived slight against buggy#he is still 8 and sitting on captain's shoulders as his dad says 'do you see how beautiful she is junebug? you carry her with you'#he'll never be junebug again but by god he wants it so badly he thinks he'll die from the ache of it#(junebug is dead and has been dead for a long time but smtimes when he sits by shanks and they're sharing a drink as they carefully tiptoe#around certain topics; shanks'll just Look at him and for one soft gut-wrenching moment junebug is alive again#and then the moment passes and they're back to being buggy and shanks: two broken men desperately trying to make sense of the cards#gave them)#op buggy#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#gol d. roger#roger pirates#anyway how y'all doin?
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nightgoodomens · 7 months
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I’d watch anything with the two of them but this does sound bloody fantastic.
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yrieso · 1 year
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just imagining being lo'ak and watching your older brother bleed out right in front of you and your parents. you literally have his blood on your hands, your mom is sobbing and screaming in grief, and right before your dad goes to save your sisters from meeting the same fate as your brother, he tells you to stay (with the dead body!) because "you've done enough." it only amplifies lo'ak feeling like neteyam's death is his fault. and while he looks at the bloody body of his now dead brother, lo'ak thinks back to the last minutes of neteyam's life. specifically, the last words he said to lo'ak directly. he used some of his last breaths to look at lo'ak and tell him
"i've been shot, dumbass."
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kusuokisser · 8 months
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oomf is slowly converting me to torisai.. like. yeah... youre right... they are total losers.... total losers in love.....yeah..
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