#legit impressed by how hard they fucked this up

[crystalelemental]

I caught up on the Ash vs. Cynthia fight and folks, I am choosing violence.

My stance on the anime has overall been really negative this tournament run.  Barring Diantha vs. Lance, nothing has been particularly exciting to me.  I can live with the Alain vs. Leon outcome, and the Ash vs. Steven outcome, I just feel like they could’ve done a bit more to make the match feel like it mattered.  I’m still not over Diantha vs. Leon, and doubtless, never will be.  But barring how hard they disrespected Diantha...this is the most bothered I’ve been.  This is worse than how sidelined Iris was.

It’s not because Cynthia lost.  I feel like I need to preface that.  Cynthia was always going to lose, no one should be surprised.  It’s not even strictly how she lost.  Ash still fights like a cheating anime protagonist (what the fuck is “Use Breaking Swipe on the shield to remove Stealth Rock supposed to be?), but most situations could’ve been handled equivalently without it, they just did it for dramatic effect (just have Pikachu tech in Electric Terrain this fight for Hypnosis immunity and it checks out, Breaking Swipe on Garchomp would’ve dealt damage that cancels out what Lucario would’ve taken from Rocks and the same outcome occurs anyway, etc).  It’s a mild inconvenience at worst.  In fact, I’m willing to say that on the whole the fight itself is really solid.  Part 1 is fantastic for ramping up the tension by taking Pikachu out early, the reveal of Dynamax Togekiss was amazing and that little blob actually did fantastic.  Even smaller bits like surprise, Roserade has Natural Cure, Gengar effectively accomplished nothing, is great.  It’s a little dumb that Cynthia apparently didn’t bring a Ground-type attack on Garchomp, but small potatoes in the grand scheme of an otherwise good fight.

No, what bothers me is what they did with Cynthia herself.

“By the way, win or lose, I’m retiring after this.”  That had people pretty mad, but personally, I was all for it.  Cynthia’s always had her fixation on her research and travels, and I had assumed this was leading into Black and White timeline stuff, where she’s going off to visit Caitlin’s villas around the world in her research, and is participating here just to show off that she’s the best, and retire on top.  Which is cool and interesting and works for her character.  But that’s not what happens.  No, instead, we get some nonsense in part three as she gets really into the tension of the fight with Ash, and decides that no, actually she’s not retiring, how could she ever give up something as fun as battling?

Fuck.  You.

That is stupid.  That is bottom of the barrel bullshit stupid.  You’re telling me the whole retirement thing was just so arrogant ploy of “Oh, I am simply just so bored of always winning.”  Fuck off.  That is the least compelling reason for anyone to do anything.  Especially for someone in her position.  You’re not even #1, Cynthia, what the fuck do you mean you’re bored?  All this motivation serves to do is make you intolerably arrogant for no reason.  To say absolutely nothing of the sheer disrespect it paints toward Iris.  Iris also had you down to your last Pokemon and was battling pretty well, but apparently absolutely nothing in that counted for anything?  Nothing Iris accomplished made you feel excited about battling, or like there was something worth doing in the fight?  Are you goddamned kidding me?  Fuck Iris I guess, not even good enough to register.  Oh but Ash is though.  I guess if you wanted to showcase a divide in his skill compared to Iris, there you go.  Just grind the poor girl further in the dirt, why don’t you?  But at the top of this list of bullshit, there is the most frustrating aspect of this whole situation.

THAT’S JUST VOLKNER

Apparently the anime’s grand plan of action with Cynthia was to whole-hog rip off Volkner’s entire personality.  I’ve been on record saying I can’t stand Volkner, and it’s because of this exact thing.  Dude, you’re a Gym Leader in a region with a proper Elite Four.  There are five people at minimum who are better than you in the region, and you’re bored of battling because no one’s challenging enough for you?  Sounds like a you problem.  Like maybe you’re avoiding facing off against opponents that obviously exist and can challenge you, and then complaining when there’s not enough challenge.  It’s intolerably arrogant, self-important, and stupid.  And despite having plenty to draw from on the topic of a regional champion, this is all they could think to do for her.  Copy the worst personality trait of a gym leader from her own region.

I legitimately don’t know what I expect anymore.  I got two parts of really fun engagement with the battle, before the anime decided to remind me it can’t do anything right with its characters.  I’m just blown away at how little everyone matters.  Lance and Steven get swept aside and effectively do nothing.  Iris gets a little but is unceremoniously pushed aside, her entire association with Ash as a former travel companion and rival just rendered meaningless.  Diantha gets a really cool debut fight, only to be obliterated off-screen and pushed aside for Leon, who has been given exactly 0 personality thus far.  And now Cynthia just gets her entire personality obliterated and replaced with Volkner.  What an absolute shitshow.  In for a penny and all that, I’ll get to Ash vs. Leon eventually, but boy I am not expecting anything beyond the battle anymore.

#pokemon anime salt #legit impressed by how hard they fucked this up

[vivwritesfics]

Have to have her

Mafia Au! This will probably be a two parter, and the next part will be kind of dark

Oh my look at him 🥰

Masterlist

Max Verstappen was a powerful man

It was all due to the way his father raised him

When he wanted something, he got it

At first, it was an old Formula One car

One of those relics that gets hung on the wall

And then he wanted to sponsor a team, using his fathers only legit business

And then he wanted his own house just outside of Monaco

(That was where his father drew the line. If Max wanted a house in Monaco, he was going to have to earn it. For the time being, he could have an apartment)

For a while, Max was somewhat happy with everything he had

He had his apartment, his F1 car relic and enough money to do whatever he wanted

And what did Max want?

Well, for a while, he wanted nothing

He had it all

He even had his own inner circle to help him do his business

Which was less than legal, by the way

Drugs, guns and more criminal activity

Max was born into it

And them, he laid his eyes on Y/N

Max was simply driving around the streets of Monaco, stopped at a red light, when he saw her

She was gorgeous, sat outside of a café with her friends

She caught Max's eyes and he caught hers

When the light turned green and he drove away, Y/N thought that was it, but Max knew better

The next time they saw each other, they were in the club

Rather, Y/N was in the club and Max had his men report her every move to him

Next thing Max knew he was sitting in a both in the club, an expensive bottle of vodka in front of him

The it was a game

In his expensive suit, with his expensive alcohol, he was hard to miss

Many girls came up to him, but not the one Max wanted

She was too busy dancing with her friends

He was sat there for maybe an hour before he got impatient and gave up

So then he walked over to her

"Hey!" He shouted over the music

But Y/N couldn't hear him

She looked at him with a grin on her face and wrapped her arms around his neck

They were kissing

And then Max had his tongue down her throat

And then they were getting into his car and driving back to his house

His impressive, well guarded house

Not that Y/N noticed

She couldn't stop staring at Max

If he wasn't driving, she would have been in the back with him, tearing off his clothes

It didn't take long for just that to happen

Max parked his car in front of the apartment complex and led Y/N up the stairs

As soon as Max and Y/N were in the elevator, somebody came and moved his car for him

They didn't make it to his bedroom

As they walked past the sofa Y/N pushed him onto it

She climbed into his lap moments later and began unbuttoning his shirt

Max's hands started on her hips, but they soon moved down, holding her ass

Eventually they made it up to the bed

Not before fucking on the couch

And then against the kitchen counter

And then Max carried her up stairs

Her arms were around his shoulders as she sucked dark bruises into his neck

Her legs were wrapped around his waist

Max was still holding her ass as he carried her

The next morning, Y/N woke up with a pounding headache

Waking up, hungover, in somebody else's bed wasn't ideal

Other than her, the bed was empty

Whoever had brought her home the night before was nowhere to be seen

Slight panic set it

When the bedroom door opened, Y/N shut her eyes and rolled away, pretending to still be asleep

Whoever came in left something on the table beside her bed and walked away, muttering under his breath

When Y/N rolled towards the table, she saw a Red Bull Racing mug

Inside there was tea

When Y/N sat up, she realised she was naked, but that didn't come as a surprise

She kept the blankets against her chest and picked up the tea

Sipping, she looked around the room

It was grand, impressive

The bed was huge, bigger than a king

The television mounted on the wall looked as though it belonged in a cinema

Relics from old Formula One grand prix were displayed throughout the rest of the room

How rich do you have to be to afford stuff like this?

The door swung open again and the handsome man from last night walked in

"Good morning," he said to Y/N

"Morning," she croaked back, placing the mug on the table beside her

There was an uncomfortable moment where they realised they had never formally introduced themselves

It had been a lot of kissing, a lot of making out and then a lot of fucking

"I'm Y/N," she went to say as Max began introducing himself

"Well, I've got work to do. Feel free to watch television or something," he said and stood up

Before Max could leave, Y/N called his attention once again

"Do you think I could borrow a shirt?"

While Max worked, Y/N watched television

She didn't know what else to do, didn't know how to get home from here

So, the only thing she could do was stay were she was

And then she got bored

And hungry

And thirsty

Dressed in one of Max's shirts and sweatpants, Y/N made her way out of the room

She got one step out of the door before she was stopped

"Uh, Max said you have to stay here."

Tanned, tattoos and dark hair

He was gorgeous

But he was no Max

"Oh," Y/N said and went back inside of the room

Because, really, what else was she supposed to do

It was a full eight hours from the moment Y/N woke up until Max took her home

They talked on the drive, getting to know each other after such an intense night

"Do you think we'd be able to do this again?" He asked as Y/N climbed out of the car

To Max, this was intentional, methodically planned out

To Y/N, this was a random one night stand

She gave Max a look, an apologetic one

Oh, he didn't like that

Max drove off, pedal all the way down, speeding through the streets of Monaco

His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel

He would have her, he had to have her

Max Verstappen didn't take no for an answer

Well, what can I say?

When he wanted something, he got it

And he wanted Y/N

#max verstappen #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x female reader #max verstappen smut #max verstappen x reader smut #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 scenario #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula one scenario #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 scenario #mafia!f1

[rallamajoop]

That time Heisenberg stabbed Ethan with a rusty fencepost

Thanks to this one fic project that needed a pornographically detailed list of Ethan’s most memorable injuries, I've spent some time trying to figure out exactly what Heisenberg stabs him with when they first met. Working mostly from a free-camera version from youtube, I settled on calling a metal pipe with a square profile.

Tumblr: I was wrong. The reality is so much worse.

Having cracked the game files and installed my own free-camera mod, I tracked down the original asset for this thing, and, well...

No, really, this is it! Check out those matching cross-bars if you doubt me.

FWIW, it isn’t actually a spear. Those semi-mangled crossbars flag it instead as a spear-headed fence-post. (This may not be a distinction that Ethan would find very comforting after being stabbed with the thing, but there it is, regardless.)

In fact, if you poke around the cemetery area just outside the castle gate, you can even find the fence it presumably came from.

Look in on the cemetery near the church from the lane leading up to the Duke's shop beside it, and this is what you'll see.

It's not a perfect match (in fact, it's even worse viewed from the opposite side, because someone has clearly stuffed up the textures on different sides of the same asset). I'll also note that if you go back to this fence again after meeting Heisenberg, you won’t find any suspicious gaps in it where a post was recently ripped out. So I’m going to just go ahead and assume this particular piece was lying in a pile of surplus scrap in the cellar somewhere, and Heisenberg did not, in fact, drag the thing all the way there from well outside the whole damn building. I mean, at that point, you’re just showing off.

The fence post is, admittedly, pretty hard to get a good look at in the actual game. Unlike all the other crap Heisenberg already has levitating around him in this scene, the fencepost doesn’t appear at all until Heisenberg stabs Ethan with it. It actually seems to emerge at speed from between a couple of barrels at the back. But if you’re enough of a lunatic to play around with the various slow motion/rewind settings that came with the free camera mod, you can get a decent shot of it in flight, cleaning up any remaining doubt that this is the same asset that was used in game.

It even freaking spins in the air as it moves. FTR, yes, it does go in pointy-end first. And the whole fucking spearhead ends up buried in poor Ethan. (Please feel free to insert your own dick-joke here.) Those paying really close attention might even note that the blood on Ethan's shirt is present even before the spear hits him, but that's just going to be virtual-stunt-coordination having a normal one.

I can offer you no similarly definitive insight into why Heisenberg would think stabbing Ethan with this thing was a good idea. I can’t even tell you if he knew for sure that it was Ethan Winters he was talking to at this point (maybe he's just playing dumb, pretending not to recognise him. Or maybe he legit didn't know that Ethan himself had made an appearance until Miranda told him. Sure, he's already got that whole conspiracy board, but finding real pictures of this Ethan-guy is surprisingly hard.) But whether Heis was already testing out Ethan’s ‘interesting body’, or whether he’d just generally assumed that anyone who could survive a full lycan assault on the village wouldn’t be too seriously inconvenienced by a little stabbing, hoo boy was this one way to make a first impression.

I’m not even sure which of these losers is the bigger idiot here: the one who imagined Ethan might still agree to work with him even after inserting a very convincing imitation-spearhead into his intestines, or the one who never thought to seriously question how he keeps shrugging off injuries just as exciting as this one.

They probably deserve each other.

#Karl Heisenberg #Ethan Winters #RE meta #winterberg #Resident Evil Village #Resident Evil #RE assets #not to soapbox but that's also why the popularity of AO3's 'soft' Heisenberg tag makes me roll my eyes so hard #this dude is 'soft' like a fencepost to the gut

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

For my first thought about “Saw X” (once again, highly recommend), I’m really impressed with how the movie managed to make their concept work. It’s mainly because the story of “Saw X” is really hard to pull off.

Not a lot of movies and shows can portray the kidnapper/torturer/evil mastermind as the protagonist while the victims are the main villains. Because, obviously, no one wants to be rooting for a character who is tormenting other people. It’s like making a version of “Squid Game” where you’re supposed to root for the VIPs, that’s a hard sell.

But, there are the rare few that manages to pull this off. “Hard Candy” is one of the best examples of this since the victim is a pedophile murderer while the torturer is Elliot Page. “Don’t Breathe” is an accidental example since even though we’re supposed to root for the victims, they’re not so easy to side with since they’re burglars who robbed a blind man.

So “Saw X” had a tough sell since we’re supposed to be on Jigsaw’s side for once. But honestly, I thought they nailed it. Not only are the victims horrible people (scammers who prey on the terminally ill), the story doesn’t force you to like John Kramer. John is entirely unapologetic about his actions as Jigsaw and the movie doesn’t try to justify him, especially by having Amanda question John’s choice of putting Gabriella into a test (she was a drug addict). Instead, the story naturally puts you on John’s side by focusing on his internal dilemma; fighting his cancer.

The first third of the movie was entirely devoted to John dealing with his cancer and how he was dreading that he was almost out of time. It humanizes John and makes you feel really sorry for him, even knowing who he is. What I like about this is that it’s not forced sympathy because the audience has known about John being a cancer patient for over a decade by now. Focusing on John’s disease and mortality makes sense is what I’m saying.

Even Jigsaw’s friendship with the little boy Carlos makes sense since John wanted to be a father. The one thing that people can say was a little forced to make you sympathize with Jigsaw STILL has precedence in the series, which is really rewarding for people who’ve watched every “Saw” movie. Nothing felt out of place for John’s character, it’s like a legit tribute to the character.

So when you learn that the doctors were all scam artists, it’s natural to side with John since:

1) They did it to themselves

2) You feel for John since you watched at least 30 minutes of him trying to fight the disease

3) You feel angrier towards the doctors since they’re arguably worse people than John

4) The lead doctor reveals that she knew John was Jigsaw and continued the grift anyways, so they have really no excuse

It’s like “Don’t Breathe” again, where both sides are horrible people, but the more sympathetic one gets to be the hero. And I’m all for it, because fuck medical malpractice/grifters.

(Side note: I feel like another way the movie got us on John’s side was that he stayed true to his word. If you pass the test, you get to live. During the movie, he makes sure Diego survived since he passed and asked that Gabriella be taken to a hospital after she freed herself. It’s honor, but in a fucked up way, which is appropriate for the character)

#saw #saw x #saw x spoilers #saw x 2023 #saw movies #saw franchise #saw x (2023) #saw films #sawposting #john kramer #jigsaw #saw spoilers #horror #horror movies #horror film #horror villains #movie spoilers #movie analysis #film analysis #jill tuck

[oh-my-may]

LET'S TALK HSR PENACONY 2.1 (or rather, have my impressions and thoughts on the main quest and some other stuff)

First of all, I went out of it with so many thoughts and emotions. This is not gonna be spoiler free (duh).

ACHERON IS SO FUN TO PLAY. Like, really really fun. Finally Simulated Universe is not an annoying pain anymore, and much quicker too. Thanks to a good friend of mine her relics aren't too bad either. She's already so fun to play with Black Swan, can't wait for a Kafka rerun now 💀

Aa for the story now: I FUCKING KNEW MIKHAIL WAS THE WATCHMAKER. I KNEW IT. Now to wait for them to confirm that Misha is connected to him, either as a ghost of his past self or a child or some sort. It's the only way.

It's also really refreshing to see that HSR is giving 4star characters significant roles in the story. First it was Tingyun, now it's Gallagher (and maybe Misha? I'll die on this hill).

Loved the pacing. Story was quite long and lots of gameplay but didn't feel overwhelming at all, probably because we didn't just stick to the MC the whole time. The characters split up and we didn't just follow the express crew but also Aventurine, I really loved that. It felt so dynamic and immersive.

WELT AND ACHERON INTERACTION. BRO. The way I gasped the whole time. We still don't have a canon confirmation of how Raiden Mei and Acheron or just generally HI3rd and HSR are connected but it's sp clear that Acheron is by far the closest connection yet. So sp excited to find out more about this. Raiden Mei, I'll love you in every universe.

Aventurine and Ratio are also very interesting to me. What does Ratio gain by involving himself in all of this? What does he get out of it? Anyway, their little journey through the mansion was nice. GIGANTIC RATIO. The kinda stuff my dreams are made of tbh.

Generally the whole Aventurine story got me right from the beginning. He's generally one of the most interesting characters to me (although this game has plenty of them). I gotta admit of course I was suspicious of him (as one should be of all Penacony characters) but I liked him nevertheless. This patch supported my feelings, my GOD HE xkdjjdjdjd. The way I cried. Since I played the story so late ofc I saw some spoilers/screenshots of his backstory but I never expected it to hit me this hard. Just wow. His ending, too. It's so bitter. Kinda hope we get to see him again, since he'a mot really dead, right? Just in some limbo.

His boss fight was really something. Not a lot of different patterns, but I still had to try a bunch of different teams, since you're kinda fucked even with just a single single target character in your party. Had to unbench Clara, and I gotta say, she came through for me. I might not have used the most meta team, but it worked soooo...

And just as I was glad I had managed the fight they hit you with that big cut scene, woah. AND THEN WITH THE FIREFLY SCENE? AND SUNDAY????

First of all, apparently it was common knowledge among the community since last patch that Sam was Firefly. Yeah, I gwt it bc of the leaks and stuff. But I'm just so confused as to HOW. Like HOW and WHY and just generally HUH. I can't wait for them to explain this connection (if you're reading this and you wanna spoil me with non-confirmed stuff then leave it, please, I might as well wait another 3 weeks).

And then Gallagher and Sunday... Just as I was admiring Sunday's beauty because he might legit just be one of the most gorgeous male character designs... THEY KILL HIM. When I tell ypu I was SHOOK. Mouth agape and all. Didn't know what to do. What a cliffhanger.

Now I don't have a real theory as to what I think will happen. If I remember correctly they said the main story will stretch until 2.3, right? I really wonder what else will happen, the story already seemed so huge this patch and I really wonder how it'll conclude. There's still so many questions and stories. Might add on to this post later when I have more thoughts.

Also Aventurine's banner just dropped but as of writing this I haven't pulled yet. Might add a little post later about it.

For now, have some screenshots I took during the story:

ALSO I GOT AVENTURINE. SECOND 50/50 WIN IN A ROW IN THIS GAME HAVE I FINALLY BROKEN THE CURSE. Now for the long and treacherous road of farming his trace mats and relics ... Since I never really prefarm 🥲

A pic I took in my excitement. Forgot the screenshot button exists.

#may's gaming #hsr #honkai star rail #star rail #penacony #acheron #hsr acheron #raiden mei #hi3rd #welt #welt yang #hsr welt #aventurine #hsr aventurine #dr ratio #veritas ratio #hsr veritas #gallagher #hsr gallagher #sunday #hsr sunday

[nachofuck3r]

ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄᴀɢᴇ x ɢɴ!ᴘʟᴀʏᴇʀ/ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

After a high I flood of demand we are gonna have some of Johnny Cage x Player headcanons!! Because everyone is loved by him, shut up! He loves the player?!!!

CW: meantions of you having a dick (it could also be a strap), lotta dirty talk, mentions of breeding, daddykink, slight degradation. the nsfw section is devided into 4 different categories, Johnny being dom/sub Bottom/Top, so everyone is provided for.

SFW:

First of all I do really hope you are looking for needy, because in game Johnny is so very needy and desperate for you and your attention. He'll do absolutely anything to grab it and impress you. He's already an attention whore when he's not trying to rizz you up. But with you he doubles down, tries legit everything from sweet to sultry.

No touching, means double the verbal affection, so so much flirting. There is not one taunt he doesn't do for you.

"I'm packing more than a punch, baby" "How do I look from behind?'' "Your smile, is my fatality" "What if, next time, you finish me?"

At first you are freaked out and taken aback, when it comes to your attention, that Johnny shouldn't be doing marriage proposals, in the middle of a match. You're game must be bugged in some very weird and fanservice providing way.

If you indulge his advances, by flirting back or taunting him. He's freak! There is no way the sexy person controlling him is also flirting with him?! Over the moon, that's him right then.

But if you don't or actively reject his flirting, he will suspect you are playing hard to get. So he'll most likely double down and get more risque with his propositions.

"You're like, super tiny, man" "I'm not tiny, I'm in a game, but I can, 100% guaranteed, still rock your world"

Banter becomes a regular occurrence, with you all the while, improving your gaming skills and him mostly just longingly staring at you and trying to impress you with taunts, brutalities and special attacks.

"Why didn't you do the fatality?!" "Because you already performed one this round" "what- "On my heart"

Groan

If you get easily flustered and don't like the flirting, DONT change this mans skin/clothes. The teasing will be endless.

"You like dressing me up, baby?" "Stop calling me that I'm a grown person..." "You're right I should be calling you my spouse"

"Are you looking at my ass?" "No, I'm just checking- uhh" "Just admit you want me, it'll make everything so much easier."

Also don't stop maining him. He'll survive if you play other characters but if you do it long term and the come back to him, he'll be twice as needy, a little pissy and a lot more desperate.

"Is it something I did?" "No, I just wanted to play someone else" "So it was something I did?" "What does that farm boy have that I don't?" "A hat" "Not if you dress me up as Illinois"

At first his very obvious, overly flirty self annoyed you incredibly.

Yes he's sexy and he's also technically single.

But he's also in a game so?? What is a guy gonna do.

This is what a guy is gonna do.

NSFW:

Subby Top:

If you like your men whiny but also want them to wreck you, talk about convenient. Johnny is 100% the provider for your needs. Will not stop whimpering and whining outside of sex but when it gets heated. He cannot stop.

"Please, I need to be inside you so bad" "Fuck I just wanna breed you, want to see you so full, please" "I wish you could ride my face, I need you so badly"

Since he's kinda well INGAME, you two find other ways to be intimate, if its just masturbating, you playing with toys mostly.

SUCK HIM OFF! Or well pretend to, seeing you suck on a toy. Boom man is combusted and on the floor. There is nothing he would love more than paint your face with his fuck-juice.

Seeing you ride a dildo will absolutely kill this man, he'll be a needy mess through out every other match he has the same day.

"Sorry, I couldn't stop thinking about you riding my dic-" "Johnny I swear to every god available"

Subby Bottom:

If the thought, of Johnny being inside you isn't your speed, that's fine! He's a flexible and very versatile man. Plus let's be real, he does this stuff anyway. No way, this man hasn't fucked his own ass.

Subspace Johnny is a fucking mess, just picture him endlessly fingering his own hole, very sloppily.

"If only these fingers were your dick!" "I wish you could spurt inside me, I need you so much baby" "Gods, I need that cock in me or else I'll die"

Dramatic as fuck, but these sentences are just scares throughout the fingering. He'll mostly just be a whimpering mess. So it's very likely you'll have to provide the teasing and dirty talk this time around.

The sound of your voice, taunting him, while fucking his own ass, will make him squirt. Makes a mess of his own mansion floor.

"We should do this before every match!" "Be real- ugh as real as can be, you wouldn't win a single match after something like this..."

Dom Bottom:

This is essentielly the cocky and less whiny version of sub bottom.

You can expect so much taunting from this man, especially when he's pounding his own hole. Will not stop god damned talking.

"If there's a way for me to get out of here, the first thing I'll do if ride your fat dick." "Just thinking about your dick makes me cum" "That's a good boy/girl, stroke that dick thinking about my tight ass"

My guy prays every night, that he can become real and actually just absolutely destroy himself on your dick.

"Are you okay? That's the second match you lost today?" "Sorry, I did not get much rest"

Dom Top:

This is kinda the end boss of Johnny Cages sex life, this is just a part of him. This'll happen eventually, of course only if you want to. But being a dominant top is probably something he'll have to do every once in a while.

"I'm gonna fill this tight litte hole with my seed" "You're such a needy whore for me, for your Daddy" "I'm gonna paint your insides so fucking white, flooding you full of me" "You look so good sucking my dick baby, it's like this is what you were made to do"

Of course it's all pretend, it's just you needily fucking yourself in front of a screen. But both you and a man can dream that he is absolutely destroying your hole with his fat dick.

If you have a pussy he'll ask you to slap it, 100% wants to slap your cunt to get it sensitive. It's also like his favorite thing if you can squirt, he wants that all over him, making you squirt is like his main goal (if it's possible). So he'll often have you fingering yourself into an absolute mess.

"One more baby I feel like this is the one"

If you have a dick, he'll want it super sensitive. Will make you fuck your own fist for hours on end, even if you're spent. Bro wants to see you massage your own balls. He gets so excited thinking about you spurting all over your own stomach. Looking so needy and desperate for him.

"Come on, baby. Make a mess of yourself for daddy"

Little plus here for my T-Dick people.

He adores your dick. He'll ask you to show it to him every time you two get intimate. Wants to see you stroke it and finger yourself (only if you're comfortable), he loves how stiff it can get. Wants to get his mouth on it so bad.

"I want to suck you off so bad. Wish I could frot our dicks together, baby"

#johnny cage #x reader #johnny cage fanfiction #mk1 fanfic #mortal kombat fanfiction #x gn!reader #x m!reader

[justatalkingface]

Let's talk about the Bakugou Problem

Yes, everyone, it's finally time, what is probably my most requested rant: The Bakugou Problem. Or rather, the Bakugou problems, because there's two:

The first is the fact that he's an unrepentant asshole who is only now, at the end of the manga, truly starting to realize basic shit like 'apologizing'. The second is that, for all intents and purposes, the Bakugou the characters seem to interact with is a different person than what we're being shown.

There's been plenty of deep dives on his issues, so I doubt I'll propose anything new, but this should fun anyways, right? Let's start here:

I think, at the core, Bakugou's problem is he just never grew up.

Way, way back early on, we see some flashbacks to Earlygou, and in summary? Earlygou is an ass. Fun fact: for all that it's commonly held that Bakugou grew worse over time after getting his Quirk? He called Izuku Deku before that. He was just a bit ahead of the class, looked at Izuku's name, and saw 'Deku'. Boom, he starts saying it, and it's only further entrenched in his mind as he outperforms his peers physically, while Izuku lags behind.

Then he gets his Quirk. Let's quote what he's told: 'Ooh, another impressive Quirk! You could be a hero with a Quirk like that, Katsuki!'

I know we all think he got coddled for his Quirk, and later on he was, but that? That was just a teacher giving him the verbal equivalent of a gold star. Meanwhile, Bakugou?

'Makes sense. I'm awesome. I'm better than everyone else!', he thinks, while having this look on this face like he's being enlightened to a Fundamental Truth. He took some generic praise and ran off with it.

So yeah, Earlygou was an ass. Here's the thing: a lot of kids are assholes. It can be hard to remember sometimes, but kids, really young kids who don't get how the world works at all, do and think a lot of impulsive, assholish shit, not because they think the world revolves around them, but because they can't comprehend a world that isn't all about them.

Here's another thing: kids grow out of that. They realize, eventually, that other people matter, that their actions have consequences, and all that other stuff that makes people into functioning adults.

I don't blame Earlygou for being an assholish child. I blame Bakugou for never growing beyond that. And it's interesting to think about that, because his parents seem legit. His dad is quiet, sure, but he's solid and down to earth, and while Bakugou clearly takes after his mother, she also seems to have gotten the 'morals' message he didn't, and has concerns that he didn't do the same. They're not poor, and are working in fashion, and implied to be doing well enough that, if they're not rich, they're at the very least well off.

So... school, I guess? Here's one of the times where the setting suffers for its lack of lower level development, because I would love to see what non-Aldera schools were like. Everyone else in 1A seems like they wouldn't have a major problem with Izuku being Quirkless, or at least be mild enough in their prejudices to not spend their free time torturing him. Is Aldera different? Is it an age thing? Are they just the good eggs and would have had assholish classmates who would act like Aldera did? Would other teachers be OK with how Izuku was treated (my limited understanding of the depressing Japanese view on bullying says, 'yes', but fuck if I know, and honestly, two hundred years in the future, shouldn't they be better than modern Japan)? More than that, the public view on Quirklessness is, for understandable reasons (cough cough Bakugou), highly underdeveloped, so we don't know how much Izuku was treated was the normal, but I think part of the reason Bakugou got so bad is that he had Izuku near him, as this convenient target. By pushing down on the 'acceptable' target, all his peers approved him, cheered him on, which both fed his ego and his popularity, and combined with his high-status Quirk, this cycle continued swelling his head until we reached canon Bakugou, king of all he surveys. The kids follow him, the teachers suck up to him, his potential, his future, all are limitless!!!!

...Sigh. Before I keep going, let me touch on one other thing: Izuku trying to save Bakugou after he fell when they were children.

On the first take, it seems utterly unreasonable, how badly he responded to that, right? And the second, and third, it still seems the same.

Someone, somewhere, said this take in a comment in a fic I read and I've never been able to forget it: think about it from the view of a heroic saturated society.

Think about it from the lenses of MHA, where All Might is a few steps short of a god in the eyes of the public. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him, especially the kids, and especially Bakugou and Izuku.

Look at that scene again, how Izuku reaches down for him. Overlay him with All Might.

That is what Bakugou saw: Izuku making himself unto All Might. While Izuku just wanted to save him, of course, somewhere deep in his unconcious Bakugou took that symbolism and ran with it, and reached a completely (ir)rational conclusion: Izuku was looking down on him. It went, I imagine, a little something like this:

All Might is the strongest. All Might looks like that when saves other people, who are weaker than him. Izuku is channeling All Might, therefore he is saying that he is stronger than me.

Bakugou, in his child mind, saw Izuku, not as helping him, but T-posing at him. To him, that was Izuku trying to assert dominance.

And he never got over that. Never grew beyond that impression. Do you want to know the worst part about it, though, when you look at it that way?

Think about Bakugou again, and his motivations, with your Bakugou Logic goggles on: All Might is strong. Bakugou wants to be strong like All Might. All Might asserts his power over others by saving them. Therefore?

Bakugou wants to save people like All Might.

Can you imagine if Bakugou was built of that dynamic? Like, with Shirou in Fate, if that scene was etched in his mind forever, and he was obsessed with remaking it over and over, but on his terms, with him as the savior? Him as the one looking down on the weak?

Still canon-style Bakugou, still an asshole, still lusting for power... but when asked what he wanted to do with it, or why, he would answer: so I can save everyone.

And even if it was for the crudest, most self serving of reasons, even if it was only so he could feel good about himself and lord it over everyone else that he was the one who saved them; it would have been so much better than canon. There's so much fascinating complexity to explore in a character like that, as well as a clear path to redeem him: under that logic, Bakugou would, over time, learn to save people, not for his own satisfaction, but just because it's the right thing to do. Hell, even the way people treat him would make more sense, because even if he was an asshole, if his motivation, which he cheerfully shouts about at any given moment, was to save people, then suddenly his acceptance feels more realistic, doesn't it? Him being compared to Izuku as a rival makes more sense when both of them are in it to save everyone, that core of heroism, but each represent a different part of how modern heroism is expressed, with Bakugou as the corrupt, media saturated part of it, while Izuku channels the original, pure spirit of heroics.

Can you imagine that with me? What could have been in another life? It could have been beautiful.

But, sadly, that's nothing more than a dream, and we should return back to reality (though I might want to expand on that at some point, it really does sound interesting to me).

Change and Improvement. These are words that some hold in the air whenever Bakugou is judged harshly, and they wave them like talismans to try and banish others objections.

Let me tell you a truth: change and improvement are hollow words without context. They are a statement that something has happened, not a measure of how much it has happening. In many ways, this is similar to a unit of measurement, like inches, and a number of inches. If you're talking about something, and you say, 'it can be measured in inches'.... that is generally unhelpful. Saying that it is, say, eight inches long is far more useful information.

Still, these aren't exactly moral statements, and change in particular is distinctly amoral. If something has 'improved a little bit' it, you know that it's better, and generally how much. But is it good now? Was it good then?

Let me put it another way: say that, once a day, every day, I appear to you out of the shadows and force you to eat a cup of shit. Exactly a cup, every day, at 2:30 PM, without fail; nothing you do to protect yourself from me makes any difference, nowhere you go is safe. You can't run. You can't hide. I am inevitable. The shit is inevitable. You will eat that shit, no matter what you think about it.

Then, one day, I come with only a half cup, and from then on you are only forced to eat a half cup of shit a day instead of a full one.

Isn't that both a change and an improvement? It's literally half as bad; doesn't that sound like a lot better? Yet, while that may be true, is the situation actually better in a meaningful way, or it as firmly negative as it was before? Should you be mewling gratefully to me that I'm being less horrible to you, or can you still hold a grudge against me for everything I've done to you and continue to do?

What if I apologized, one day, after forcing yet another half cup down your throat? What if I told you that I shouldn't have done it, but the way you looked, the way you acted, that vapid, cow-like look of joy on your face... it was just so shitty that I had to, that you made me do it? Then I say this changes nothing, and that we're still on for tomorrow for your daily dose at the normal time.

Tell me something: do you feel better? Has my generous apology moved your heart? Are we friends now?

This is Izuku's situation in a nutshell. Bakugou's treatment has changed, has improved even. It's reached a point where there are actual differences in Izuku's daily life. That doesn't mean it's still not shit treatment, and it doesn't matter if it's served in a cup or a tablespoon, shit is still shit. And the thing is Bakugou treated him like shit, and he still treats him like shit.

Context matters. So let's talk about the context. Let's talk about what Bakugou did.

Well, first off, there's the Deku thing, but I feel a lot people don't get how bad that is, so let's spell it out in detail. Once upon a time, as I've said, Bakugou was a little better at reading than everyone else. He looked at Izuku's name and saw 'Deku' in this, and thought it was hilarious, and so he started talking about it.

Bakugou looked at his name, and saw Useless in it. He didn't just call Izuku that, he said, this is in your name, it always has been there, to the point that, all these years later, he physically struggles to use Izuku's actual name.

For Izuku's entire childhood, the one person truly on his side, who truly loved him, was his mother.... who gave him that name.

In other words, every time Bakugou called him that name, with that history behind it? Bakugou was telling him that, when Izuku was born, Inko looked at the child she held in her arms, turned to the nurse, and said, "I'll call him... Useless."

He called him this, every day, every time they talked, for over a decade. Saying that the real meaning of the name his mother gave him was useless.

But it's not just that, even. He led the school, his neighbors, effectively everyone Izuku knew in anywhere near his age group, to call him that. There were probably people in Aldera who didn't know Izuku by any other name. There were probably times Izuku thought of himself by that name, that his name was Useless. It's not that big a reach from responding to it as his name, after all, and by the time the story start's he was well trained in responding to it.

Then, there's the more 'basic' bullying; insults, taking his stuff, breaking his stuff, using his Quirk on him. Again, for years and years, until Izuku is beaten down into terrified compliance, where Bakugou blowing up his stuff, his desk, and him* in front of a teacher isn't something anyone even really notices anymore. And why does he do it? Because it's fun. Because he feels strong breaking things, hurting people, being the big man on campus. Because he wants attention, respect, glory.

Because he can. Because it's fun.

(*And isn't that weird, when you think about it? Bakugou has been hands free with his Quirk on Izuku since they were, what, four? Why doesn't Izuku have burns?

Bakugou uses explosions. His hands can burn hot enough (probably as part of the lighting process) to burn clothes, and that's when he's clearly holding back with it. There's no way he's been careful enough, kind enough to not hit skin with that his entire life. So why doesn't Izuku have burns from all that?

Answer? There is no good reason. You can mention how MHA humans are, well, inhumanly strong, but we see heat resistant Shoto being burned with boiling water; it's not like they're immune to it. More than that, though, Izuku is explicitly Quirkless. He is a mortal in a world of magic. He wouldn't have that same kind of resiliency.

So Izuku isn't burned because, A, Hori didn't want his main character to be scarred over, both for aesthetic reasons, and probably for ease of drawing, and B, because that would make Bakugou look worse. Because even then, back when Bakugou had consequences, that would be too much consequences for him, that he permanently scarred Izuku, since the Heroes Rising was the original ending, and Bakugou was always supposed to be redeemed. Hori probably figured, if he thought about it, that that was too far for the readers to forgive him for, and finally, C, he just didn't think about the consequences of Bakugou's actions.

But let's be honest: Izuku would be burned. The fact he isn't is just the prettying up of the situation.)

This is where Bakugou starts from: abusing Izuku to the point where he doesn't dare protest out of years of deeply ingrained terror, doing his best to systematically destroy Izuku's life, while being careful to avoid going too far and damage his chances for UA, which judging by his comment on smoking, may be the only real internal check he has on his behavior.

Because that's the thing; he's cruel, but calculatingly so. He's not a wild animal. It motivates him, but he can think about his actions, think about the possible consequences of them, how they'll react... and as long as they won't harm him, he's all for it.

Then we go to UA, and when he realizes that 'Deku' has a Quirk? Much less such a strong one? He attacks. Viciously, instinctively he goes into attack. He's stopped, but no consequences are given (more on that later), so he doesn't stop. Why would he? All he's learned is this teacher won't let him attack Izuku without a motive.

And then he gets one. Bakugou walks into the Battle Trial planning what he'll do to Izuku. His first words in there are don't dodge... which is especially bad considering what he'll say in a little bit.

His plan? To beat the living shit out of Izuku, to vent all his frustration on him, but stopping just short of it being bad enough for the Trial to be stopped. And as Izuku defies him (by dint of not letting himself be beaten up), he gets angrier and angrier at him for the gall of it, for the audacity to not lay down and let Bakugou beat him up until he feels better, until it reaches the point where Bakugou brings out those gauntlets of him.

'Dammit, Deku, don't dodge me!' 'He won't die if he dodges!'

Yeah. He says both of these things in the space of the same fight. When Bakugou fires that damn gauntlet of his, he's finally reached the point where, for the first time we've seen, he's no longer thinking of the consequences even a little. He wants to kill Izuku, if only to prove that his Quirk, that he, is better (note this too; we'll talk more later about this) than Izuku and his Quirk.

Well, for obvious reasons, that doesn't work out for him, since Izuku's Quirk is the strongest in existence, and small fraction of it, badly used, is still enough to clap Bakugou's attack, enhanced by support equipment (who the hell approved that, by the way? It literally destroys buildings. It seemingly exists for no other reason than to cause massive collateral damage). Then he's forced into an existential crisis when Deku 'wins'. His arm is broken, he's beat up, but by the rules of the game he won anyways and because of that, Bakugou's world collapses.

This, more than anything, I think is Bakugou's true catalyst for change: not being saved by 'Deku', but losing to him. Granted, being saved is enough to force him to avoid him, but it probably helped that Izuku only bought him moments of air. He may have saved him, but All Might did the work, All Might the strongest, the greatest, his idol.

This though? This was Izuku surpassing him, and all on his own.

And I want to pause to consider something here: something that was stressed since the beginning of the story, and still is, besides the terrible mixed messaging at times, is that being heroic is more important to being a hero than sheer ability. Izuku was heroic with his complete lack of ability at the start, after all, while All For One is one of the strongest beings in the setting, and is the farthest thing from heroic. And when you look at Bakugou, as we're introduced to him? There's not a speck of that in him. There's no kindness, no mercy, no sympathy; Bakugou has no positive aspects to him. He has talent, talent for days, but talent isn't a person, a personality. He is a creature of pure ability, and nothing more, and that makes him a singularly unheroic creature.

But the story continues, and Bakugou is forced to confront his own weakness compared to his classmates... except, you know, he doesn't. Even as he does everything wrong, as picks fight with classmates, teachers, villains he should be avoiding... he faces no real consequences for it.

Because, as I've said? Bakugou used lethal force on Izuku. Knowingly. As a teacher tells him not to. That... that sounds like something that even a normal school would be concerned about, much less this elite school that is focused around being a hero, and whose student body is largely comprised of very lethal people, who they intent to unleash upon the world with minimal restrictions on their behavior.

I mean, forget the school; why is All Might fine with this? Aizawa? Nezu? Any of these teachers? How about all of their fellow students, all of who are heroic, and watched this happen live, and All Might's response, no less?

This is the second problem of Bakugou: what they see, talk to, and interact with, doesn't seem to match with the reality that we see, and these two problems are so intertwined that is hard to talk about them separately.

Because on Day One of school, Bakugou attempts to murder his fellow student, and no one cares. The worst he gets is a waggled finger. The fact that he isn't expelled is mind boggling beyond belief, when you pause for a second and consider that fact.

Aizawa talks like he just rough housed too hard or something, and the worse thing All Might mentions is failing the exercise.

This is something that many people have talked about, and at times have named many different ways. For this, I've decided to call it, 'Bakugou's Tsundere Field', because it makes other people act like Bakugou is tsundere, acting tough but with a kind heart, instead of just... acting like a shit person. You know, like he does.

Like I said, it's hard to realistically seperate that from Bakugou's general behavior, so I'm just going to keep going and point it out as I go along.

Next, let's talk about... the Sports Festival. The Sports Festival is where, if you need the reminder, Bakugou starts things off by insulting everyone else and making them hate his class. Twice.

First, by insulting the, admittedly vulture like crowd gawking over 1A's near death experience (I still don't like that), and the second as the valedictorian, where his 'speech' is his two sentence statement that he's going to be first... and yet, for some reason, Izuku watches this and marvels over how he's changed. Because normally, he'd do this but he'd be gloating. Izuku. Izuku. This isn't some mind boggling big thing to be in awe of.

Actually, let's chat about that a bit, because that's honestly such a big problem it's almost a third concern on it's own right: Izuku is our major narrator, right? So we get a lot of our views on Bakugou from his perspective, and... well, he's very much an unreliable narrator, whenever it comes to Bakugou. Every time he talks, there's this sense of awe in it that's been there ever since he was a child; it taints his narrative every time he talks about Bakugou, makes it always more positive than it should be.

Because, wow, Bakugou, that's different from before, an improvement, right? Well guess what? That shit is still shit, even if there's less of it. Izuku is just so biased, so traumatized, such... an abuse victim, that he he takes what Bakugou gives him and doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, because he, Deku, has no self respect, and Bakugou is the biggest and the baddest, the most beloved of their childhood, and it's something he never seems to get past. Even when he stands up to Bakugou, fights him, he still can't get past staring at him in awe, and barely ever complains about how he's being treated.

And because Izuku is our main viewpoint? This view on Bakugou taints our view on him, and it's easy to look at him with Izuku's admiring eyes.

But I digress. In the cavalry battle, Bakugou basiclly breaks the rules by flying off the horse, but gets away with it because of a technicality, which, you know, is great impulse to nurture: it's fine as long as it's technically legal! Sounds really heroic, right? Like something you want your law enforcement to live by?

Meanwhile, during this same fight, both Aizawa and All Might praises him for his ambition, and I just. Do you know what Bakugou says right before they think about that?

'I'm going to be Number One and leave piles of bodies in my wake!', he screams, while literally throwing a tantrum on national television and hitting the top of Kirishima's head like it's a desk.

...Wow. You know what? Maybe you two are mixing tenacity with bloodlust. That's one of the least heroic things I've ever heard in my life, and yet everyone just falls over themselves to praise him for it just because he's not content to settle for second place.

It's times like that I have to wonder: are they... are they seeing something different than what we do? Are all of Bakugou's most violent phrases and actions edited out for them? Did Hori add them for his fans? Or is it just The Tsundere Field(TM)?

Not even mentioning third stage where: he's praised for taking a woman 'seriously' for no apparent reason, and dragging it out when he would normally, just like he always does, just leap in mindlessly to attack, and this one time he really thinks it through it backfires when Ochaco turns it back around on him, only for him to just... over power it, with no ill effects. This comes with the double plus stupid on his part of him doing that because he's... what, afraid of her touching him?

Seriously? This entire post exists for me to call Bakugou out, but even I can't call him a coward. Every time he fights a villain, all of which want to kill him, and one who has Ochaco's power but lethal, he still charges in. Moreover, all it does it make you weightless; Bakugou's power explicitly gives him a way around that; if she tosses him, he can just fly back to the stage.

So... why is this a thing? This is a thing so, when the heroes, who at this point are symbolizing the audience's discontent with Bakugou, start complaining, Aizawa can step in, verbally slap them, us, and then explain how great Bakugou is, which get magnified by how casually he shoots down her plan at the end.

And here's the super special bonus problem with all of this: a hero's job isn't to protect themselves. A hero's job is to protect everyone else. Even if they, personally, are hurt, a hero is expected to risk their health, and lives, so that the general public is safe. You want to know what the problem is when protecting yourself and allowing the villain time to do things in the process? It means they get to do things. Like, say, set up a giant meteor shower that could cause mass casualties? You know, like what Ochaco actually did as Bakugou held back?

This is that plan that, need I remind you, Eraserhead was defending.

Then there's the fight with Shoto where, under the actual logic of the setting, according to Hori's very notes on how their Quirks work, Shoto should have froze him and thusly stopped him in his tracks, no fire needed, since it would stop Bakugou from sweating. But, instead, Bakugou powers through, somehow, and clinches a win anyways. And then, and this is after he eavesdrops on Shoto's conversation, BTW, which means he knows exactly why Shoto doesn't use his fire, he throws a fit that Shoto didn't use his fire on him anyways (which, considering he sweats nitroglycerin, means he would have exploded).

Now let's look at the Intern Arc, and I'll be honest: no matter how much a non-character Best Jeanist, I'll always be a fan of him for one simple reason:

When everyone else looked at Bakugou, and says, 'This kid is awesome', this is the one person in the entire setting who saw a problem. And as a bonus, he acts to do something about it.

In the same vein, I'll never forgive Hori for making him seem like such a pretentious twit, much less how hard he ends up cheering for Bakugou's every word later in the series. I'm relooking at these manga chapters, and his big attempt seems to be... jelling up Bakugou's hair, and... something like focusing the body and mind via the power of... tight jeans.

Wow. I mean, wow. The one time we get someone honestly, actually trying to change Bakugou for the better, to call him for what he is, and his big plan to do this is apparently giving him a new look.

Really? Like, beyond how much of a failure of an opportunity this is, beyond how it makes Best Jeanist look useless, it can give the reader that the impression that the reason why Bakugou is so wild and untamed is that those who want to reign him in are elitists who are wildly disconnected to reality, that he is right to be this way, because people following the rules are just holding him back.

And we come to... sigh. The Final Exam test. The fact that anyone who has spent five minutes with Izuku and Bakugou thinks that this clustefuck needs to happen is more proof of the terrifying powers of the TF. I mean, I just... when one person is constantly yelling, constantly aggressive, constantly swearing, constantly throwing fits, and this same person is constantly picking fights with another student, who, at worst, defends himself, and and more often just seems to take it..... what do you think they need?

Is it to be thrown together into a teamwork based, sink or swim test with seemingly enormous penalties for failure? Or is it to make one of them get therapy? And also detention?

Well, according to All Might, Aizawa, Nezu, and who knows who else....

*shrugs helplessly*

If only we could use Bakugou's powers for good, rather than making Izuku suffer.

But we can't. So the school locks an abuser and his victim together in a pseudo-deathmatch where teamwork is required to survive, as a form of therapy to treat the lack of cooperation that comes entirely from one party. Wonderful.

And, as anyone could predict, this promptly goes terribly. Bakugou attacks his teammate for the crime of... *checks notes* trying to work together with him against All Might, the strongest being in the setting. This is such a terrible crime because *checks notes again* ...Bakugou can totally take him.

Bakugou Katsuki, everybody. A 'genius' with the brain of a yipping chihuahua trying to fight a mastiff.

Recovery Girl watches this happen live and just goes, 'They're just absolutely the worst team, those two."

And oh, and I'm going to be honest, when you look at Recovery Girl she's kind of a piece of shit. She barely gets any scenes and any time they involve Izuku (a lot of that small amount) they are pure ass. But this? This just takes the cake.

Wow. They're such bad teammates, sure. Such heroic insight. Why, that's like saying putting Muscular on the same team with Kouta would be a bad team! That would have some truly terrible teamwork as well, right? It's something that is technically correct, but is just.... so heinously missing the core of the problem that you honestly have to wonder what in the actual fuck she's thinking. All Might and Aizawa, at least, have the excuse that they don't see that, at least as far as we know, but she deadass watches it happen, what the fuck.

And, as it has often been pointed out, Bakugou passes, after attacking his teammate and being carried out afterwards while Sero, who heroically sacrifices himself for the win and never once attacks his teammate, loses for exactly the same thing.

Simply marvelous.

Now let's move Training Camp Arc... where, when Bakugou is informed in the middle of an attack by villains that he is the target (and oh, we'll get to that in a moment). What is his first response to this? What does he do?

Le-fucking-roy right at them. Here's something that bothers me about how the story talks about Bakugou: he's so intelligent, he's analytical, all this stuff... but every time he gets into a fight? Or near a fight? His response is always, always to jump in. Needless to say, a heedless charge at the problem backfires, and he's captured. Surprise!

And back to Bakugou as target: the League of Villains watch him on TV and the first thing they thought about him is, I like the cut of his jib.

The worst people look at Bakugou and say he's clearly one of them.

This... this is something that's never really discussed. There's a press conference, Aizawa basiclly says he's too heroic to ever join them (ironically, since Bakugou's argument isn't about heroism or villainy, but that they're losers), and this just... never comes up again. There's no doubt in anyone's mind about anything after Eraserhead gives him that support

No one is concerned that, hey, maybe he did actully join them. Or the man with ten-thousand Quirks did something to him, brainwashed him, and honestly? That's not even a reach. That is actually what AFO was planning to do to him. This is a setting, need I remind you, where actual brainwashing Quirks exist, much less whatever the fuck happens to the Nomu and no one is concerned, after they all agree that there is already a mole, that Bakugou could become another mole, or maybe even was that original mole in the first place. No one goes, 'Hmm, well, the scum of Japan think he's one of them, maybe this is something we should be concerned about?'

I mean, fuck, no one just sits Bakugou down and tells him to pull his shit together, your image is ass and the media is probably going to be watching you until you die, ready to stain you with the accusation of villainy, and they can make your life hell if you slip up, and so far you don't seem even seem to care. Also, your heroic career, that you're oh so concerned about, is never going to get off the ground if everyone thinks your a villain, and a villain will never be Number One.

There's just... nothing. Bakugou is made out of warning signs, one the entire fucking setting ignores at times, but this is just... fuck.

Alright. Bakugou vs Izuku Two; Wank Bakugou Harder!

Actually, no. Before that... let's talk about one of the major lead ups to that: Bakugou finding out about OFA. Why? In part to force him into the plot, sure, but a large part of it is Izuku feeling... guilty. He feels guilty for lying to him, guilty for seeming to have a Quirk of his own; I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just want to talk about how fucked up that mentality is, that he felt he owed Bakugou that. He owes Bakugou nothing. Bakugou isn't his friend, isn't even his acquaintance, he's his abuser. Bakugou doesn't treat him in a way that deserves such sympathy, much less information on one of the greatest secrets in the setting. If Bakugou wants to assume that Izuku somehow hid that he had a Quirk for his entire life? Allowed himself to be constantly beat down, insulted, and mistreated, and for what? For this one gotcha moment of surprising Bakugou? Let him. If he's too stuck in his own idiocies to think of anything else, let him wallow in his own ignorance.

Anyways, BvI2: also known as that time Bakugou pulled his frequent victim aside to attack him and both of them got in trouble for it.

And this is billed as this big thing for Izuku, but he fights against Bakugou, metaphorically, all the time, and he's already had this big moment of physical defiance in BvI1. This fight isn't about Izuku, on any level. This fight exists solely for Bakugou. It starts because he starts it, he starts it because he feels upset and violence is apparently how he sorts through his emotions, and he wins it because he needs to.

But not just because he needs to win, oh no, there's more to that. Thematically, you see, this is important for Bakugou's growth. Or rather, the idea of his growth that never seems to persist between his growth moments. You see, thematically, Bakugou stands for victory via force, but him winning this fight doesn't make him right, doesn't give him All Might's approval, and to him, that's almost a paradox; that paradox is needed to move beyond who he is.

But that's the thing though. Bakugou needs it. Bakugou needs to win for Bakugou's growth. This growth is, both literally and thematically, at the expense of Izuku, because Izuku? If he won this, just... out matched Bakugou in a fight, no tricks, no technicalities, no crippling injuries, none of the things from their first fight? That would have been huge for him, for his confidence. It would have been Izuku, heroic Izuku, finally and truly eclipsing his old bully in every possible way, and that would have been great for him, for his confidence, for his self respect. Moreover, though, that still would have been good for Bakugou, because even when he loses, he never loses, and he could use an actual, humbling defeat to help screw his head on straight.

But Bakugou loses all the time, I hear people say? He lost in their first fight, true, but that's a technicality; anyone looking at them would know who won combat wise. He won the Sports Festival, even though he bitches about how it wasn't 'right'. He loses against All Might, sure, but All Might is the strongest man on the planet; that loss means nothing. Moreover, he wins against him through the goal of the exam at the end anyways. He loses to the villains, sure, but it was a bunch of them against him; it wasn't a fair fight, which is the whole reason him picking it was stupid in the first place. And now, here, he could have finally had a real loss to give him some perspective... but he doesn't.

Moreover, Hori just... hypes up Explosion as a Quirk more than it really deserves. Is it a good Quirk? Strong? Sure. But let's be honest here: he sweats nitroglycerin. Literally, his Quirk is his two parents mashed together into the best possible option, and it's basiclly lazy ass chemistry via genetics. There is, by the very definition of the substance that he explicitly makes, a cap to how much it can do with a certain volume; that's why new, more explosive explosives were made to replace it

One For All, all the heroic thematics aside, is literally just pure power. All Might changes the weather with a punch on accident; I'm convinced if he punched the ground and meant it, he could actually fuck up Japan as a island. The cap with OFA is yes. There is no way, under the logic of the setting, that Bakugou can ever contest that.

Like, look at Endeavour: when he wants more fire, he makes more fire. It's bigger. What the fuck is Bakugou going to do, rain his sweat on people? What happens when he dehydrates, because again, this is his sweat, which comes from his body? Cluster doesn't even make sense, really, that he somehow super concentrates it to make it more powerful, and AP Shot is literally him making a circle with his fingers before blowing up a bomb in it, yet somehow it makes, like, a laser?

The thing is that more loose Quirks, like Endeavour's, again, aren't as limited to science as the more 'realistic' Quirks like Bakugou's, so there's nothing really saying he can't just... make more flames. He could damage himself, sure, but since he already pulls that shit out of nothing, Endeavour increasing the volume of his magic ass firebending isn't hard to accept. Hori wrote himself into a hole here because if Bakugou just made explosions by magic? If he just... conceptually made explosions? A lot of this stuff would make sense (except AP Shot; fuck AP Shot), and it feels like that's how he treats it sometimes. But that's not what he did: it was his Dad's Acid Sweat with his Mom's Glycerin which means he sweats explosive sweat. And then, when it's convenient, he has shit like the Gauntlets, and basiclly all the rest of his support gear, that are explicitly filled with his sweat.

Bakugou's powers are basiclly whatever the fuck Hori wants at any given moment, and it's honestly frustrating when he tried to play so much of this setting's powers so seriously at first, and Bakugou's Quirk in particular is explained more than almost anyone else, and yet he tosses it the moment he thinks of something that sounds cool.

...But I've gotten off topic. The point is, OFA is OP and Izuku should have just won that on pure ability alone.

Anyways, after all this, the teachers finally come, once it's settled in Bakugou's favor, and they're both in trouble. For a fight that was 100% Bakugou's fault.

So, throughout all of this, Bakugou has changed, yes, but beyond the first couple of days, the changes have been grudging and glacial, and the reasons why are best exemplified in the License Exam where we find out that, for all intents and purposes, Bakugou is incapable of showing basic empathy. I mean, fuck, he fails to show that when, with any amount of logic, much less that of the genius Bakugou, would say that now is the time to fake it. An actual, factual sociopath would do better than him, purely because they would know to act for their own betterment.

(And the fact that his teachers look at this, explicit proof that he is seemingly incapable of actually trying to save a person, but do nothing with this information speaks volumes.... mostly about how bad Hori is at writing Bakugou and the implications of what he does constantly. Surely there's no way that, without the Author hyping him up, they'd just let that slide, right? ...Right?)

But, then, hope on the horizon! He has a make up exam, and it's apparently centered around pounding basic morals/how to deal with civilians into his thick skull! Surely, this is the time Bakugou will finally, finally, get the point, right?

And that's the thing: he does. There's this, probably to other people, touching moment where he sees himself in this asshole kid and talks about how you can't just look down on people. And it's like... finally. Finally! The switch has finally been flicked! He gets it! Change, improvement, development, fina-

Then the second he gets out of it he promptly goes back to calling everyone extras.

That dynamic in many ways is the perfect embodiment of Bakugou's development, and it's... It's like watching someone fighting off a disease. There's an infection, right and symptoms increase. Sometimes the symptoms appear out of nowhere, sometimes they increase over the span of several days. They peak, finally, then they fall back down, again either dramatically, or over the span of several days, and then you are back to normal.

Bakugou makes changes. He makes realizations. He gets 'humbled'. He has a single moment of heroism that the narrative hypes up, sometimes with a bit of build up before hand for a few chapters, and with people sometimes reacting to it for a few chapters afterwords.

And then it passes, like he's just finished fighting off a case of Morals.

You see, Bakugou is well liked. And, honestly, I get it. The asshole can be therapeutic to root for, at times. The problem is that he's too popular, and that this story is too about people being good. So Bakugou, to keep the fan base, to keep the sales, has to stay Bakugou, stay the unrepentant asshole constantly telling people to die.

But, at the same time, Bakugou is an anti-hero, basiclly, and this is a setting that just... can't handle the complexity of an anti-hero, in how people react to them, what they do and the morality of it, how it would affect society and so on, and so Bakugou can't stay as Bakugou, has to grow and be better and become a hero proper.

So... Hori goes, 'Why not both?' Thus, Bakugou gets his moments of 'development', and a slow, slow, slow trend to the better, and the fans get to see him do his thing, even though he's 'changed'. And it's easy, when you just sit back and accept the narrative, to believe that. But if you don't....

All of that? It makes his character empty because after a certain point, it's clear that Bakugou won't change, in so many fundamental levels, even if everyone around him acts like he does. Like attacking his teammates, like blindly charging the enemy , like constantly insulting everyone around him is just different because he's The New Bakugou now, like it's just fun and games, even when this was a dead serious problem early on. He didn't stop, he didn't change, or dial it back; everyone else just started acting differently when he does it. The same way in day one he attacks Izuku for having a Quirk, far later on he throws his metal... hair thing at him for daring to talk about his Quirk. And it, like, impales him, but haha! It's just funny now, it's so funny, that we can apparently see Izuku's brain! It's funny that, when Izuku is seriously thinking about his predecessors, Bakugou just instantly insults them for not being famous! Look at how patient Izuku is dealing with him as he acts like a bratty five year old child throwing a fit, look how fond All Might is as he insults his beloved teacher that he probably has deep seated trauma about regarding her untimely death!

In the War Arc, where Bakugou 'Rises'? Maybe ten minutes before his 'Rise', he was threatening to attack Izuku for daring to ask why he's following him. In a war zone.

The entire story, Bakugou has been described as a creature of instinct, a natural born warrior with a talent for battle. All of that is to contrast him with Izuku: where Izuku, instinctively, has the urge to save, Bakugou has the instinctive urge to fight. This is fundamental to him, a core characteristic, one of the (many) ways it's explained about how good he is at fighting.

And yet, suddenly, when Izuku is in danger, he moves without thinking (aka instinctively), but it's not attack Shigaraki, which, you know, he was shouting about doing not too long ago, it's to save Izuku.

And. And am I supposed to believe that?

I mean, fuck. In the FInal Arc, he has a Big Speech in response to SFO: about being 'way over fear and rejection since long ago', which SFO was talking in the context of how they create inequality in society, and how he wants to fix it... which, doesn't that mean Bakugou just doesn't care about them? Because being over them doesn't actually solve them, genius, it just means you, personally, are beyond them, and even now, he still treats everyone like they're unequal to him. Bakugou has always been the one to profit from inequality in society, between his Quirk, his talent, his well off family, so honestly all of that rings hollow.

He talks about how he has friends now, who are willing to move beyond them, and OK, that works a bit better, except when he still doesn't treat them like friends, in fact not too long ago he yelled at Momo for getting his stupid ass chuunibyou name wrong.

Or, maybe a minute later, when Bakugou gets a power up and/or realization about how SFO moves or something, and you know what he does? He instantly charges in blindly, alone, and is killed over it. Right after this speech about teamwork, while everyone was just... cheering his determination, and prissy Best Jeanist says, with a straight face and actual awe, 'Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight'.

And then when he sees Bakugou get smacked around, Eraserhead's first thought is to scream, desperately, 'Save him! Save him so he can try and become the Number One Hero!' in the middle of all this shit that is happening.

All of this is presented to us as this... thrilling thing, with music that is going to be swelling in the background when its animated, and everyone cheering him on, right before he's tragically struck down for being too stupid to live (no, seriously, SFO actually lampshades this. Before this big 'dramatic' moment, he says that getting up close to him is pure idiocy, and all that it will do is allow you to get get smashed by an All Might like power. Then, you know, Bakugou closes in, again, because he had bitchslapped Bakugou before, and then a second time during that boast, and it goes exactly as SFO said) and we're supposed to mourn him. Again, actually, even though this is a blatant set up for him powering up, since this is literally the same set up as the War Arc.

All of this work, all of this emotion, and all of it rings hollow because, well, it's Bakugou, and no amount of trying to hype up teamwork battle is going to make it work for me when the second the Big Moment is over he reverts to his normal asshole routine.

That Tsundere Field, guys. Too strong, too broken.

While I'm at it, let's talk about Bakugou being Quirkist, because, well, he is. It's a big part of his early character: the reason he rags on Izuku so hard, so successfully, the reason he's so big and important as a child, is about Quirks. When they get introduced the past users? His first comment is that they have weak Quirks.

Izuku saves him and he still doesn't think much about him; it's only later when he starts actually acknowledging Izuku.

When he has a Quirk.

And it's not just a Quirk, it's more than that: it's a strong Quirk, powerful. Enough for him to defeat Bakugou. All the respect Bakugou builds for Izuku? And while it stagnates for awhile, I do have to admit he does respect Izuku more than he did originally... and it's not because Izuku is kind, or heroic; he still hates that. No, he starts respecting Izuku because he is strong. His respect isn't about Izuku as a person, it's about Izuku's Quirk. All his respect, slowly built up throughout the series, comes from the corrupt foundation that Izuku is worth respecting only because he has a Quirk. Later, this gets worse because he learns about OFA and starts valuing Izuku as important, but it's only because his Quirk is important. It's All Might's Quirk. His second fight with Izuku is because of it's All Might's Quirk. He starts training him (that one time, and apparently never gain) because it's All Might's Quirk. When Izuku goes 'rogue'? And when he heroically goes to hunt him down? One of the first thing he does is talk about how he's so great because he has One For All, and then calls him an All Might wannabie*.

And you know what? I just talked about Class A hunting down Izuku recently, but let's talk about that more, because I hate it so much.

I really, honestly wonder if Hori is blind to the parallel he set up here, or if he invoked it on purpose, to try and show how Bakugou has 'improved'.

Look back at the first chapter, where we first see Bakugou. Think about that dynamic: Izuku, beaten down, on one side, while on the other, Bakugou. Strong, proud, with minions at his back, all of them ready to throw down at his command.

The thing is? The first time is shown as clearly villainous in nature, a cruel bully against someone who is weak but heroic. The second time, everything is the same, but it's shown differently. Bakugou is being shown as heroic for doing this, heroic for leading Izuku's friends to hunt him down, heroic for attacking him.

*And ah, Bakugou the Hypocrite. Let's finish this up by talking about Bakugou's name. When we first talk about hero names, Bakugou's naming sense is much like it is for his final name, and Midnight promptly shoots down every one of them because, well, they aren't heroic, and the story pokes fun at him a little because he clearly doesn't get it.

Then it's the War Arc. Bakugou has 'grown', there's all this hype for his big heroics moments, and he announces his new name... Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. And I'm just wondering... am I getting punked? This is the the same shit as before! No, actually it's worse than that, it's bigger, longer, and more ridiculous.

The universal response is that it's tacky. Nejire thinks it's disgusting. Mirio literally thinks it's a joke.

But the story itself treats it seriously, and over time? People start accepting it, taking it seriously as well, treating that stupid name with respect. What the fuck kind of hero name has the word murder in it? What kind of hero calls himself a god?

And finally, it's Dynamight. Which resembles All Might, the Greatest, Most Beloved Hero, the one Bakugou has always considered the best and viewed as his goal to surpass.

And yet he says that Izuku, who is calling himself Deku, is the one viewing himself as an All Might wannabie.

#this got way too long #basically an ask at this point #bnha critical #mha critical #bakugou critical #anti bakugo #izuku deserves better #izuku is basiclly an abuse victim #why doesn't izuku have burn scars? #the power dynamics of saving #'change and improvement' are hollow words without context #bakugou's SCP Worthy Tsundere Field #Izuku is an unreliable narrator #AP Shot makes no sense #Bakugou's development is like watching someone get over an infection of Morals

[kikiwooo]

| • Falling hard for you

notes: sfw & nsfw, female & male reader, there are two different occasions, yeah I did write for the both genders.

© @/kikiwoo

| reblogs and comments are appreciated |

don't heart the post, I want fucking reblogs idc that I'm being rude, it's what I deserve.

[ Dyrroth ]

The most clueless one, legit thought something happened to him. Dyrroth can and will shamelessly stare at you from across the room. He needs to solve...why you are so attractive to him in the first place.

Refuses to get help from others, they'll tease him at the end of the day anyway. Especially Selena, that witch girl is just no-no. If you're someone that takes part in the matches, prepare to be his first of last target. You make him pretty light headed and the Abyss Prince doesn't like that. Dyrroth gets pretty snappy when he's light headed, no, not to you, he doesn't have the face to talk to you, but his teammates aren't safe from his curses.

The Abyss Prince loves to think about you, his favourite thing to pass time. Beneath him or pinned to wall, eyes wide...

If you're female

Dyrroth will take his precious time to bite into your gorgeous skin after he caught you in the enemy's jungle. He'll pin both of your hands, the more you struggle and let out cute noises the more excited he gets.

" Heh, stop struggling now. Do you see what you're causing? " Dyrroth says while pointing his bulge.

If you're male

Dyrroth specially gets more arousal if you're stronger than him by any chance. His bulge throbs painfully as he watches you fight. The little hearts in his eyes tells everything. His dick stands proud and ready to hump into you or you into him quickly. He doesn't care who's top or who's bottom all he can think about is sweet sweet relief.

" All alone.. all mine. I won't let you get away this time. Obey me and come here~ "

[ Badang ]

Badang would try to be charming while being a complete shy. Ironic. He would be more bold with males tho. He'd try to charm you in his own ways, Badang is a show-off like Lapu-Lapu. If he's got a crush on you, he's got it bad. He'd try to impress you w/ his skills, good job ignoring him.

Badang would enjoy you being on the enemy team more than being his teammate, don't mind him.. that will definitely lead to some interesting ' encounters ' he won't miss the opportunity to battle against you. Being defeated by you makes him feel some things...

Badang is really into make-out and you're so tempting. Badang would be more rough with a male partner while being more gentle with a female partner.

If you're female

Badang is touchy, expect him to be handsy. He'd grab you by arms and hold you in place, you move around too much and your sounds... someone can hear you y'know? The risk of getting seen turns him on.

" Shh... they're coming this way. " Badang says as he pulls you flush against his bare chest.

If you're male

He cannot avoid his bulging dick in his pants. Badang would probably be a little less horny to a male partner, however don't let this get you. Do you even know how much of a turn-on you are to him?

" H-ah! A-alright stop now! T-thats e-enough. "

[ X.Borg ]

X.Borg is a tricky one, he can be playful and is bit messy on the head. He wants someone who can keep up with his craziness, his..weird ideas to have fun. There's %50 chances that you two can be ally's or enemy's, who knows.

X.Borg isn't someone to let his guard down real quick. He will test you first, to see if you're the perfect one to him. However, he'll act a bit more warm to you. If you take part in matches, X.Borg would teasingly flick your head, not too rough not too soft, everytime you die in some stupid way. His way of telling you to not care about that, but of course as long as you don't bring the team down with you.

X.Borg is dirty minded, keep that in mind. He'll imagine all kinds of scenario(s) with you. You beneath him or on top of him, doesn't matter he's got the imagination going on.

If you're female

You'll be shorter than him and that's a plus. He can easily manhandle you, which means, lift you on a counter by your thighs and make out with you.

" Heh., not so confident now huh? " X.Borg says as he dives into your neck, letting out sloppy sounds.

If you're male

X.Borg would definitely want to be a top, but wouldn't be much against being a bottom. Of course, he won't go down without a fight. He's both biter and sucker, he'll try to leave as much as mark he can leave on your body. X.Borg is definitely a freak in bed.

" Giving up so soon? Come on (Name)! Entertain me more! "

#mobile legends #mobile legends bang bang #mlbb #mlbb x reader #mobile legends bang bang x reader #mobile legends x reader #gn reader #dyrroth #dyrroth x reader #badang #badang x reader #x.borg #x.borg x reader #x reader

[obstinaterixatrix]

I recently got my first office job where I am interacting with my coworkers regularly. do you have any evil conversation skills that you think i should learn first

1. Figure out the easiest/most comfortable ways to say the whole spectrum of soft no’s to hard no’s from a scale of ‘genuine regret (invites future attempts if scheduling allows)’ to ‘polite deferral (respectful and evasive, somewhat firm)’ to ‘stone-cold shut down (professional Fuck You)’; you gotta know them all and you gotta be able to deploy them as needed. or at the very least, you gotta know how to give yourself time so you don’t automatically say ‘yes’ when you don’t want to.

2. The easiest way to make a good impression on people is to balance being useful and making others feel useful, which means offering some of the specific knowledge/insight you have and also asking for/acknowledging the knowledge/insight of others. offering/asking can be a weird balance, sometimes for some people in some contexts it comes pretty naturally, other times I find myself parsing out one (1) resource bit by bit to gauge whether someone’s actually looking for it or if it’s received in a lukewarm way. If ‘useful’ can’t really be a selling point at the moment (e.g. starting with zero experience rather than having an established knowledge base in a new environment) then you can always swap out ‘useful’ for ‘interesting’. know a charm point you have that can hook other people’s interest, know how to find and highlight other people’s charm points. If you want a mutual relationship it’s better to make an effort to share equally (for some people that means intentionally holding back, for other people that means intentionally speaking more), but if you’re just trying to coast it’s usually easiest to keep turning the conversation back on them and track topics the other person can get chatty about (pets, kids, shows, how they’re doing, etc).

hang on those are too reasonable and not evil but I’ve typed it all out so I’m not deleting. so, there’s a bunch of worksheets about ‘rules for fighting fair’ and if you ever meet a coworker you fucking hate then you wanna take those rules and do the opposite of all of them in order to have an on-purpose bad faith conversation and to make it as miserable for everyone as possible

1. If the coworker you hate is trying to talk about one specific problem, disagree with whatever their definition is and refuse to compromise

2. Bring in as many stupid tangential asides as possible so their original point gets buried

3. If you want to be legit evil, always imply or directly state that whatever they’re going through is a personal problem and a Skill Issue

4. Always find a way to vaguely disagree with your coworker. If they have a good point, say ‘Well, no, it’s actually like [basically rephrasing their point]’; you can either be subtle about this (negging) or blatant about this (The Mansplainer)

5. There’s a limit to how disrespectful anyone can be as a new employee. Find that limit and keep just short of it.

6. Always deflect and blame someone else, or if there isn’t someone to blame, have different excuses at the ready for anything that anyone might take issue with.

to some, evil communication skills is to win. but I think the most successful (insufferable) application is when the point is to make everyone as miserable as possible. I’m not trapped here with you, You’re Trapped Here With Me. also I wouldn’t actually recommend doing many of these things if you want functional working relationships. but it’s good to keep in mind if you’re ready to go nuclear! but more seriously, I do think these are important evil communication skills to learn because if you recognize someone using them against you, it gives you the chance to make strategies based on their behavior. 1. If someone is disagreeing with you any time you try to express a problem, shut down the conversation and reengage with a mediator that will be fair to you; 2. if stupid tangents keep showing up, it’s up to you to be the terrier with its teeth sunk into the mailman’s leg; etc. anyway this has gone too long and someone else should probably be giving more legit advice

#ask #anonymous #whoops this got long #oh almost forgot #congrats and good luck! hope you don’t have to use the evil skills!

[mrwavellswaps]

A Life He Never Had - Part 2 (Father’s POV)

➡️ Son’s POV ⬅️

Oh god I can’t help but moan, these nipple are so damn sensitive. I know he can hear me as well with my door wide open. It might be a little cruel of me to keep teasing him like this but I just can’t help myself. You know I originally had my doubts but fuck am I glad I decided to steal my Son’s body!

When I’d first bought that switching potion I honestly wasn’t sure if it’d work or not. I would’ve tested it first but apparently it was only good for one use. However I was so fucking desperate to have another chance at the life I never got that I decided to throw all my chips in and risk it.

Next thing you know I’m drugging my own Son after having our weekly meal together and lugging his barely conscious body up to my bedroom. I don’t think think he was fully out but it didn’t make a difference in the end. I was able to get him to drink some of the potion before downing the rest myself. After that I laid down next to him and prayed this stuff was legit.

I wasn’t sure exactly what I was expecting to be honest. One second I was awake and the next I was out cold with my soul being forced out of my body. I could see my old body lying unconscious on the bed next to my Son while his soul was floating next to mine. Only, unlike me, his soul seemed dormant. I knew what I had to do. I used my ghostly hands to grab my Son’s soul before stuffing it inside my 51 year old body and watching as it sealed itself inside forever. Once that was done I turned my attention back to his young sleeping body. With a lick of my lips I dove down with a hunger for the youth that body was about to grant me.

Waking up that next morning had to have been the greatest moment of my life. The second I returned to consciousness my eyes shot wide open, eager to inspect my new form. Looking down I certainly wasn’t disappointed. I was so lean, muscular and hairless that it seemed unreal. And when I looked to the side to see none other than my fat old body, that’s when I knew this for real.

The first thing I did was throw off my Son’s clothes and get a good look at his, or should I say my, naked body and I have to say I was more than impressed with what I saw. Not only did he have some very well sculpted muscle from years of hard work but he had a cock on him like a horse! It had to be at least twice the size of my old one so there’s no way he got it from me. Same with this ass! I remember turning in the mirror and being genuinely shocked at how well shaped my Son’s big bubble ass was compared to my relatively flat one. Whatever the case they belonged to me now and I was gonna use them however I goddamn pleased.

Truth be told I’d actually done a little preparation before hand in the hopes that the swap would be a success. I’d done a little shopping for my new body in the form of some fun new clothes to try on. Mainly underwear. I grabbed them from my secret little stash and started trying them on one by one. Jock straps, speedos and just a bunch of saucy underwear. And let me tell you I looked fucking incredible. The way they all stretched over my ass and bulge was nothing short of breath taking. With a body like this I couldn’t have been more certain I’d be able to bag a guy to fuck my brains out.

I eventually decided to head downstairs and make myself a coffee, still wearing a kinky pair of white briefs at the time, when I heard a scream come from upstairs. I shook my head knowing that he’d finally woken up so I grabbed my cup and made my way back up to him. When I got there he nothing short of was hysterical. Especially when he saw me in these briefs. Yelling and screaming about what the hell was going on but I just couldn’t help smiling and teasing him. I think I even gave my ass a smack just to see what he would do. I thought he’d try to punch me honestly but he must’ve been in too much shock I suppose.

Ever since then my life has felt like a living a dream. One of the very first things I did was break up with my son’s girlfriend. I might have his body but I still don’t care much for chicks at all. Dick is all I wanted. All I needed. And I was now more certain than ever that I was gonna get it.

Almost as soon as I could I was heading out to all sorts of gay clubs and signing up to hook-up apps and let me tell you it wasn’t long before I had stud after stud in my bed. Guys I would never have had a chance with before now drooling over me as much as I was over them. It was a little… painful at first I’ve gotta say. Considering my Son was straight before I took his body it only made sense that his hole was as tight as could be but I was working on loosening it up. With every fat cock I took up there it got easier and easier. Some might consider me a man whore now but can you really blame an old man for wanting to catch up on all that he missed out on.

Originally when I’d first gotten this body I was partly considering keeping up my Son’s ritual of shaving his body and facial hair to stay smooth. After all I’d been so hairy for so long that it was kinda nice to be so smooth for once. But after quite a few of the guys that fucked me suggested growing out some fur again I decided to do just that. I prefer a more masculine look anyway. And so over the coming month I simply let my body grow its natural hair again and allowed a short beard to form which I’ve gotta say seems to have gained me some extra attention.

I’ve gotta say though I’ve really enjoyed teasing my Son since the swap. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. Am I gonna keep doing it? Absolutely! It’s just too much fun to walk around the house with barely any clothes on just so I can not only flaunt what he used to have but also show him how much of a slut I’d made his body now. I made sure to reinforce that even further whenever I brought a guy home by moaning as loud as possible to make sure he heard. Just to make sure he knew I was getting his former straight guy hole filled to brim with cum. And just for good measure I made sure to tell him all about it afterwards.

You know before all this I thought I was a total bottom. That is until I slept with a much more versatile dude. He was a pretty big bear of a man and made sure to fuck me good first. But after he’d pumped his load inside me, he started to compliment me a lot on the size of my cock. I was flattered of course but when he asked if I’d ever used it I said I hadn’t ever really considered topping before. Well wouldn’t you know it the next minute he’s bent over and displaying his furry ass for me. I was a little apprehensive at first but once I shoved myself inside and started pumping, I gotta say it wasn’t bad. I’ll probably still bottom most of the time but maybe topping here and there could be fun after all with my Son’s huge fat cock under my control.

Speaking of cock this thing just doesn’t stop! For over ten years I’d been struggling to get my old dick fully hard but this one does it all the time! Even just the slightest glance at a hot guy, especially when there was nobody else around, and boom! Massive erection! It’s fucking amazing! I’m jerking off all the time and squirting my young new seed on everything I own when I’m not just having straight up sex. I forgot how endless the sex drive is for guys in their early twenties… though I’m certain I was never this horny when I was originally this age.

And that brings me back to present, sat in my new bedroom tweaking my nipples and groaning as loudly as possible. My young cock beginning to strain against this new jockstrap I bought myself. You should see the way it frames my ass. I’m sure the guy that I’m having over tonight will appreciate it.

Speaking of, I’ve had this guy around a few times now and honestly I’m really starting to like him. Maybe after he’s filled my ass again I’ll ask him out for dinner. Wouldn’t that be something. My first ever date with a man. I hope he says yes!

Until then I’ll just keep enjoying my new body and all it has to offer while shoving it in the face of its former owner. I couldn’t be more happy that this swap is irreversible…

#magic #male body swap #male body theft #permanent #identity theft #father and son #jock #dad #hairy #straight to gay

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - “Harder, Daddy”. “Son?!?” “🤨” Cont.

@bubblegumbeech @library-of-cronos @ghostboidanny @ecto-mochi @miss-nov @thegayonthemoon

Chap.5 Show Me To My Wonderland

It’s been a few days now and Danhy’s pretty sure Maddie and Jack and the school have more or less accepted shit, at least he wasn’t getting bombarded with questions anymore and Maddie and Jack had more or less settled into just acting like nothings changed. He doesn’t get called ‘son’ anymore and they still make little faces over the ‘aunty’ ‘uncle’ thing but otherwise no change. Meaning they’re not really okay with it but going along with it anyways. Because it’s easier? Because they don’t want to make things worse? Because they don’t care? Hard to say and he legit barely cares. They’re still being ‘family’ and Jazz seems pleased so it’s good.

Even if they definitely didn’t think Danhy would actually get himself a ride to his actual parents. The fucking chariot was goddamn overkill, the royalty thing was still wild. Maddie more than Jack were definitely upset since she’d been all ‘are you really going?’, and both of them had been stiff and weird when he got back; they also thought the ‘king’ and ‘god’ thing was bullshit Danhy was being fed to ‘impress’ him and make him like his parents more. He was pretty settled on spending most weekends at the Keep, hadn’t dragged Sam and Tuck along yet but eh. Sue him if he, and his parents, wanted some ‘just them’ bonding time, Jazz was entirely in favour of that, same with Sam and Tuck; Jack and Maddie didn’t get a say especially since he knew what their opinion was already.

… He won’t be too surprised if they kick him out at eighteen, that or they’ll get way better and get over their bigotry. One was waaaaay more likely.

Especially because the lack of a seal thing was definitely doing shit, the strength he was absolutely right on, but now he’s growling and shit at anything that annoyed him. Oh, he also literally felt more ego-y, proud; it was weird when he was used to, like, basically almost the opposite. Which probably actually kept said ego in check? His dad had an ego bigger than he physically was after all. Pops was more self assured and confident rather than ego and pride; the ghost literally knew everything so figures.

And Danhy absolutely can sense when ghosts show up in Amity even when he’s in the Infinite Realm! It feels different, as if the pull and sensation is in the distance rather than right there with him; still useful and chilled out his protectiveness though.

The Phantom PR on the other hand? Oof, exactly as he expected. There was a lot of ‘is Phantom turning evil!’ and ‘is ghost puberty a thing?’ And ‘It’s showing its true colours!’. Then someone actually had the smart idea to ask Danhy, aka the guy who is the kid of the fucking ghost king, you know, the guy Phantom flew off into the sky to fight? Danhy spun some bullshit about how Pariah found out that Phantom, by protecting the town, had effectively been protecting his son as well, and as a result knighted the ghost for his services. So as such Phantom’s physical change was one part power boost -meaning he could protect the town better. Which most folks were in favour of these days. Jack and Maddie were not impressed- and one part the effect of getting an official title from basically the most powerful ghost ever; that led into Danhy vaguely explaining that ‘yes ghosts have titles and roles’ and ‘yes ghosts have a hierarchy system’, which led to ‘yes ghosts have governments’ and ‘yes ghosts have laws’. Jack and Maddie thought he was being foolish for believing the ‘lies’ his actual parents were telling him, even though Danhy was able to actually see that shit in action in person repeatedly. Either way Amity actually seemed to view the ghosts a little more positively now, and one of the popular girls attempted to teach Phantom how to brush fire hair; Ember got involved, he now knew how to do a pretty solid pony tail. It looked weirdly good on him and he was heavily encouraged to grow his hair out some; which he was actually debating on doing.

Oh! And a dude who apparently served in the military had some words to say about Phantom actually having armour now and how stupid it was that he hadn’t already been wearing that kind of thing. That had been soooo awkward, him having to basically shout about ghost clothing and how only weird ghosts usually added to it. Then Red showed up shouting about him being a weird ghost himself, which was absolutely right, and started shooting at him.

She seemed super annoyed Phantom was more durable now. He laughed at her. She shot at him more aggressively. He teased her all the more. She eventually wore herself out and just outright asked him to keep an eye on ‘Danny’ for his safety because she trusted Phantom more than ‘that psycho and who ever’s crazy enough to get with said psycho’. Was it weird he was a little touched by that? Probably.

Regardless, apparently a week-ish of time was considered ‘enough’ to let him adjust and get to know them before dropping the ‘THE REIGN OF DARK HAS AN HEIR” shit on the Infinite Realm. Meaning now Danhy has to get publicly introduced and made official and shit. When he asked if his fraid, Jazz included, could come he’d been given a very firm ‘this is your place as a ghost, this is meant only for ghosts’ and a ‘they’ll be part of this realm in time, like many others, they can be part of this with you then’. Danhy was still a little miffed they couldn’t be around what was basically a literal crowning and Lion King style child show off.

Danhy groaning as the dressers basically drag him around, they couldn’t speak and Danhy didn’t ask why, but they could be very aggressive about shoving him in random clothing that was so much more excessive than his standard shit. Meaning now he’s got on a silly, in his opinion, kilt and set of freaking Loki-style horns over his standard ghost clothing. The random neck gear jewelry, skull cape clasps, and bracelets were ridiculous too, ditto with the Norse time and family runes? face paint; dagaz, jera, thurisaz, and kenaz; if he’s remembering names right. Gebo and Wunjo on the back of his hands, marking him as a ‘gift that brings them joy’; that was impossible not blush over. Talk about embarrassing, ugh. Also! His ears are pierced now! Or hole punched really! Stupidly more painful than he expected, and he was going to fiddle with it so much. One of the plugs had a valknut on it and the others got a gear cog; nice and very cool looking. Sam’s parents were gonna flip and Sam’s gonna love every second of it.

Danhy huffing a little as the dressers push him out of the dressing room and right into ol’ Frighty. The ghost seems pleased, “you look more theirs”.

“We’ll excuse me if I’m not going to start wearing face paint and jewelry all the time, ear things are awesome though”. The kilt thing he might adopt, during summer and all that; one part heritage, one part comfort (Danhy did, in fact, start wearing a kilt during summer. He actually got compliments on it too! Even Maddie and Jack thought it suited him). Either way he follows after the knight ghost, eventually hearing all the chatter.

“-has returned to us! Regardless of certain one’s feelings of displeasure over his existence!”.

Danhy mentally laughs at that.

“Our high kings mad wrath quelled as his young kin’s grown fiercely and become battle hardened far more than you fools! And these lands will be his as well in time! Let any dead before him tremble in his own strain of darkness and might! The dying to pay their tolls in blood and servitude, should it be desired!”.

Danhy does not want people’s blood, ew. Though fighting did kinda spill blood and stuff.

“You all exist within his high royal highnesses darkness and know that he is what all good and evil fear! Be blessed that you’re allowed to bask in further darkness! A Phantom of darkness!”.

Oh cool, the FrightKnight is now walk/floating Danhy out to the crowd of ghosts, some who are probably gods and shit. Danhy’s totally not nervous! Not at all! Not one little bit!

… Sweet Zone, was that ever a lie.

“Presenting! Danhy Phantom! Ling of the High Ghost Sovereign, God of Death, Pariah Dark! And of the Ancient Guardian God of Time, ClockWork!”.

The FrightKnight standing off to the side and behind as Danhy comes to stand in between his dad and pops; his dad standing further forward than his pops who’s floating. That made sense since this was a royal -holy shit he’s royalty, that still hasn’t quite set in- event.

“A being granted life to know death all the better! A being well thrived in light and darkness! To know both better!”.

All the servants or squires or whatever begin chanting:

“Darkness of youth!”

“Darkness of old!”

“Darkness that bind!”

“Darkness that hold!”

“A Flame in dark!”

“A Flame in light!”

“A Flame by thee!” 

“A Flame raised right!” 

“Darkness of truths!”

“Darkness of lies!”

“Darkness that sleeps!”

“Darkness that flies!” 

“A Flame in war!”

“A Flame in might!”

“A Flame by thee!”

“A Flame known by sight!”.

Pariah stabs his sword on the ground, “SILENCE!”; which obviously shuts everyone up. Gesturing a hand aggressively at Danhy, “YOU ARE BUT PUPPETS FOR WE! FOR OUR SOCIETY AT LARGE! OF MIGHT! YOU ARE BUT DISPENSABLE TOOLS! AND SO LONG AS WE REMAIN NOT AN ENEMY OF YOURS WE WILL BE ENEMIES OF ALL OTHERS! THOSE WHO OPPOSE OUR REIGN OR SEEK OUR END! WHETHER WE STALK TOWARDS THEM! A LOOMING DEATH! NOW OR FROM THE SHADOWS IN TIME’S FUTURE!”.

“HAIL!”.

Pariah turns to Danhy, who’s trying to not look wide-eyed. His poor fucking ghost ears. “FOR YOUR ARRIVAL I SAT AND WAIT, I NEED YOU NOT! NOR DO I NEED YOUR ACTIONS TO REACH MY GOALS! YOU! YOUNG ONE! ARE NO PLAYER IN MY GAME! YOU MAY CHOOSE TO MAKE ALL YOUR ENEMY OR NONE! IT MOVES ME NOT! BUT A BLESSING YOU REMAIN UPON ALL! AND FOR THAT BLESSING UPON MY DARKNESS I DESIRE YOU TO WATCH NOT YOUR OWN FINAL GRAVE BE DUG BUT DIG OTHERS THEIR OWN! SO PRESENT YOURSELF FOR ALL! YOUNG ONE! AND KNOW THAT I AND ALL OTHERS ARE PLEASED AND HORRIFIED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!”. A tiny crown forms in the ghosts massive hands, Danhy eyeing it as his dad puts it on his head; he can feel its connection to him immediately. New power flowing from it and into him, it was strange but the feeling settles nicely as if it was always meant to be there.

Then his dad steps back, nodding at watching Danhy’s ecto-field flare and settle properly, now letting Danhy effectively take the stage and say his piece.

Danhy’s not about to scream or bellow or whatever at everyone, the ecto in the air carrying his voice easily and there’s a pressure to his voice that has some kind of command to it, “I don’t present myself for your approval. And I’ll only laugh if you try and kill me; and then I’ll annoy you so much that you regret everything. I’ll use my claws on those who hurt me or mine. Otherwise-”, waving the crowd off to seem more chill about this shit, “-I’ll leave you to your bullshit and vices, which in the end may end or beat you as well. But then I had no part in that. But if you cross me I will make sure to be the last face you see, I can promise that. I’ll fight for fun or not. I’ll match that energy. So play nice or square up”.

He actually gets some laughs, cool. Go him. And a bunch of yeti’s yell, “PRAISED BE THE GREAT ONE! OH SAVIOUR!”. Much to Danhy’s great confusion.

The announcer dude or whatever shouting, “you have seen and been beholden! Now BEGONE!”. Does everyone leave instantly? Yup! Well… almost everyone. Danhy’d bet money that the ones that remain are god ghosts.

ClockWork floating closer to Danhy, practically winding around him and grinning, “well, go on, say hello to your fellow gods, even though you are more Demi-god than god in truth”.

Why is this Danhy’s bullshit to deal with? Also, how is he actually a god at all? And of what? Zone fuck this shit. It’s kinda funny though ‘cause almost none of the ones he can see -there’s a fucking lot- have legs. Danhy going over with ClockWork in tow, Pariah sticking a little bit further back even though he was technically a god too; a god by conquested position or whatever.

Danhy gives a little wave, “hiyya, if you all wanna fight me now I’m gonna be so annoyed”. That gets him some snickers, laughs, eye rolls, huffs, and pouts.

“Hmmmm. We’ll see”.

“In time perhaps”.

“Now is hardly what I’d call appropriate”.

“That depends on your opinion on dogs”.

“I’d be annoyed fighting you too, pass”.

“Ha!”.

“You fool around with those living weeds, I’ll put you in your place eventually”.

“I doubt you care for the blade”.

“I’d rather just play!”.

“If only you were a girl…”.

“Meow”.

Honestly half of the responses, from the ones that even bothered, get drowned out by each other. The strange floating eyeball with skinny ass green arms, sneering, “you should not even exist, abomination”; is hard to miss though.

His dad snarling, “Observant”, and looming down over Danhy, glaring at the eyeball ghost all the while. Ah okay, so this asshole is the, or one of, the ghosts trying to fully off his tiny baby ass. Danhy immediately sticks out his tongue and flips off the ghost with both hands getting in on the action, “well I do, so piss on each others heads or whatever other weird thing y’all are into”. The ghost is very clearly scandalised, actually pulling their head back in offence. Ha! Suck on that. Jerk. Maybe try not being a baby murdering dumbass next time?

ClockWork frowns at the Observant, “you beings should beg for times forgiveness, rather than harassing that which you’ve done wrong by”.

“You’ve made a terrible thing, ClockWork, and with him of all ghosts”, the Observant feels like it’s glaring but who knows with something that doesn’t have freaking eyelids, “as he’s clearly proven himself more a monster that needs to be put down, more than anything else”.

Pariah snarls, “retaliation for harming my young is hardly unbecoming behaviour. You’re the foolish things here, my actions were earned and deserved, and I will tear you lot apart”.

Danhy huffing and kinda sticking his face out at the ghost, banter he could do, banter was his bread and motherfucking butter, “I guess you could say I’m a warning not to step on my parents toes, a terrible threat that’s for sure. I am a threat to you and if you choose to not fear me then you’ll fucking regret. Zone, you already should”, gesturing at the ghost lazily, “I mean, you totally forgot about me, right? but guess who came the fuck back? Bitch. You laid the bricks for me and this new age, dontcha know that when you gamble the house always wins”, and open mouth grins at the ghost. Is Danhy stealing lines from Vlad? Absolutely. Is Danhy trying to sound like he knows what he’s talking about and is more dangerous than he thinks he is? Definitely. Does Danhy want these eyeball assholes to either leave him alone or deeply regret just how much they’ve fucked with him even without him knowing they had? YES. Danhy could do without floating eyeballs making a thing out of trying to assassinate him or something all the time; he got enough of that with Skulker’s poaching/skinning attempts.

And hey! The eyeball ghost does actually float back away from him slightly, leery. ‘Eyeing’ or ‘staring’ at him then ‘glaring’ at Pariah, “your chaos and harm to the realm has weakened our sight”, ‘glaring’ at ClockWork, “we can not see him, correct this immediately”.

But a ghost that looks like a starry blanket with a horned mask laughs softly and meanly, “his so called harm has given us a ghost who sleeps, I see no issue with his actions”.

Pariah glaring down at the Observant, “I’ve done no wrong, you lost any right to watch him long ago. Remember this and begone, I can litter the realm with your bodies if it’s what I want”.

Danhy nodding and smirking at the eyeball thing, “even if all I’ve got is the Dark and Time to fill my heart, you’ll wish I never knew y’all tried to off me. ‘Cause know I sure as shit know it’s better to reign in the dark the serve you lot”.

But the eyeball looks to ClockWork, sounding chastising, “ClockWork, fix. This”. Oh that sounds like an order? Is there like some kind of hierarchy thing with time seers or whatever? But there’s no way in hell that the literal GOD OF TIME isn’t at the top of that right? RIGHT?

Danhy is still convincing himself he’s right as ClockWork leans over Danhy’s shoulder to put their face in the Observants, “you. Do not own me. You have misjudged your own place in the world and this realm, your self inflated sense of self a corruption all its own. There is nothing to correct as it is your actions that would have needed correction had they not already been”.

And then the Observant actually grabs ClockWork’s cloak and pulls them at him. Danhy snarling and ripping the things hand off his pops, “do that again and I’ll fucking break you, use your eyeball shaped dumbass heads as a goddamn soup cup; it’ll be on sight”.

ClockWork narrows their eyes, “do not mistake my calm demeanour for gentleness, time maybe be a slow and forever winding thing but it destroys everything in time”. And then ClockWork smashes the ghost in the chest with their staff, sending them indenting into a gnarled thick tree, “and you’re all out of time”, teleporting over to them and smashing their head into the ground. But with a twist of the staff the Observants back to being imbedded in the tree; ClockWork smashes their head down again. And again. And again. And again.

All the other god ghosts are smiling, smirking, laughing, or jeering; but they don’t get involved. Danny’s guessing there’s some kind of ‘non interference’ rule or some shit.

“Abandon you false rationality”, ClockWork smacks the eyeball in the cheek to the side this time. The Observant floats themselves up right ‘glaring’, “how dare you raise your powers against us”.

But ClockWork simply teleports right in front of the ghost in an instant, their face right in the Observants, “I was always meant to bathe in your hatred, as you were always meant to fall by the way side”. One of their time mirror screen things appearing behind the eyeball ghost, ClockWork seemingly pushing the ghost back through it easily.

? It’s possible to go through those things? That practically screams ‘time travel shenanigans! Do it Danhy!’. Danhy’s going to do something stupid with those things one day and everyone’s going to regret him doing it, mostly him of course ‘cause his luck’s just like that.

More of the time screen things pop up and the Observant just seemingly gets flung from one to another by… other ClockWork’s??? Okay Danhy’s not going to try and make sense of that one, since he’s pretty damn positive these aren’t duplicates. Danhy tilting his head and humming innocently, “watcha doin’?”.

ClockWork humming back, “giving them a taste of times far worse possibilities”.

“Neat. Can you hurl me through time screen thingies? It looks fun, like a really weird amusement park ride”.

The look his pops gives him is very judgemental. But a fishy looking maybe shark with too many legs laughs, poking Danhy with something similar to the trident from the Little Mermaid, “I like this one”. Danhy grins widely back, all teeth.

Another ClockWork drops the Observant at this ClockWork’s ‘feet’, or tail tip really, ClockWork grabbing their cape and hauling them up in the air. The Observant shakes as ClockWork speaks, “run. Away. I’m a fight you can not win. Learn humility, I’m the one who counts time down and on; you are but observers and nothing more”.

Pariah stomping over to loom down over ClockWork and more so the beaten Observant, “and I’m no toy for you. I. Am. Death’s. Bringer. I. Am Life’s. Pariah”.

Pariah simply watching as ClockWork tosses the Observant away, then taping their staff, “time up”, and the ghost seems to rip themselves apart from the inside and outside at the same time; being torn apart into nothing.

Okay. Check on the murdery thing. Danhy did not expect or want to see one of his parents fucking obliterate someone. Damn. Muttering, “I’m so not adding to this murder train”. One of the other god ghosts scoffing, “as if the existence of other beings matter”. Okay is pro-murder just a gods thing in general? Again, is he gonna have to watch himself for murderiness?

Another sneering, “especially the existences of lesser mortal things”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at the multi-winged harpy-looking ghost, “I’m at least somewhat mortal so piss off”; while ClockWork just sort of appears next to him, ruffling his flames.

“I hardly expect you to”.

It’s a little weird when it seems like a lot of the ghosts stiffen when the weird three-eyed cat hops in front of Danhy, even ClockWork feels to be watching them cautiously as the cat slinks around Danhy, purring. “A mIsssssPLAceDthINg, nO MATter wheRE hE beeeeeEeE. PecULiARimpeeEeeeeeerfECt tHIng. yeeeeeEEeeeEeeeEssS”, and hums, eyes squinted before slinking off to nowhere. Like, legit, the cat just pops away in an instant.

The other ghost gods kinda look at him leerily before up and leaving en masse. Leaving Danhy blinking and looking to his pops, “what the fuck?”. Even his dad looks a little bothered and leery.

ClockWork frowns, ominous, “most avoid any who get Remi’s attention, she’s one of the chaos gods. Ancient god of misplacement; while I can bend and pick preferred reality, she’s one who alters it entirely. Her interest in you does make sense so I wouldn’t worry much”.

Pariah crossing his arms a scowling, “not much, but still watch for her. I do not want my son being misplaced again”. Oh yeah dad was always going to be mad about that. ClockWork rolling their wrist, “of course, she may be harder to watch but I see all”.

Danhy grumbling, “well if she ‘misplaces’ all my good spoons I’mma be mad”; that gets him some fond looks at least. He will absolutely be mad though, nothings ever stopped him from throwing hands. and godhood, or whatever, wasn’t going to start stopping him and his hands.

More than a few verifiable gods looked into and chuckled to themselves about the young god and prince. Curious about him and his little domain. This… could be very interesting and many of them were very bored. Course they wouldn’t be too mean, crossing the time god or death lord was hardly a wise choice for any; crossing their ling was likely just as foolish.

Some wishing to make his little domain more proper in their minds. Others wishing to see what his dreams could make. Others wanting to see if he really was a ‘fight first’ type. Others instead noticing those around him, from a wonderfully orange-haired child, to a reincarnated pharaoh unaware of himself, to a gardens caretaker that could be so much more, to another half thing almost as misplaced and far more foolish, to a raged fuel child one day to be so close to being more machine than human.

Oh they weren't going to be bored for the foreseeable future for a very long time.

Whelp, at least all of that was over, now Danhy can just chill in the Keep, lounging over a stupidly massive couch that was mildly swallowing him up. His dad was still going through tablets, and his pops was observing the Observants reactions to Danhy’s existence… and to ClockWork obliterating one of them. Hint: the Observants weren’t happy. Hint: the Observants were fully planing to try and assassinate him again. Hint: Danhy fucking hated them. And so did Pariah. And so did ClockWork.

Well whatever, Danhy’s bored and he’s calling his friends, because he is so telling them this shit.

“Have your parents pissed you off yet?”.

Danhy rolls his eyes at Sam’s tone, “not everyone has parent issues, Sam. And the Fenton’s and me being weird doesn’t count ‘cause they’re not my parents”. Danhy can see dad’s smirk from here.

“So what’s up, Danny man?”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “eh not much, I just got crowned and shit. Met some gods, meaning I, and Amity, might get harassed by some gods. Pops somewhat randomly murdered one of the gods that went attempted murder happy on baby me after they were being a major dick to us. Got called ‘saviour’ by some very loud yetis, not sure why”.

Pops interrupting him without so much as looking at him, “you’ll find out in a year or so”.

Danhy pouting, “that’s not as comforting as you think, pops”, shaking his head and ignoring his pops smirk, “anyway, I pretty much offered to fight anyone who annoys me, which I guess might not have been the best choice of words”.

Tuck laughs, “man! You like fighting so I’m not even surprised. Definitely dumb though”.

“Ugh, now we’re going to have more newer ghosts, damn it Danny”.

Danhy shrugs to himself, “I make no apologies. Fuck sorry, ‘cause I ain’t”, rubbing his neck, “I just don’t want the regulars, the ones who are halfway decent, to think I’m going to smite them or something”.

Sam snorting, “yeah wouldn’t want your go to misplaced aggression to get cold feet”.

“Sam, we’re dead, our feet are always cold”. Danny snickers to himself over her groan, “anything on your end?”.

Danhy can hear the shrug in Tuck’s voice, “outside of the fact that we’re still miffed we haven’t met your parents yet, come on man, Lancer wants to know if there’s ghost history books he can use for a ‘ghost history’ lesson while Mr. Shanell is stuck in the hospital”.

Danhy lifts his head up and stares at his dad, speaking into the phone, “sorry guys, you know things have been crazy but…”. When Pariah picks up on the staring and raises an eyebrow at his son, Danhy speaks back up, “wanna met my fraid? Like, properly?”, tilting his head back to look at his pops, “you too, Clockpops”.

Pariah eyes his tablet, “this is hardly amusing”, and puts it down; stomping over to Danhy and picking him up by the cape.

Danhy speaking into the phone as he’s lifted through the air, “whelp guess I’m fixing that right now, in coming guys”. They laugh meanly at him as they all hang up.

ClockWork sending away their screens and joining Danhy up on the giants shoulder, “it is rather about time”; Danhy snorts at that. Very funny. Changing back human since anyone seeing Phantom with Danhy ‘Dark’s’ parents was so not a great idea, at least so soon anyway.

…

Tuck shrieks, Sam putting a hand to her chest, when a massive portal pops open right next to them. Pariah, aka the guy who terrified the entire town not too long ago, stomps out; their goofy dumbass friend and another ghost they’ve never seen before on the giant ghosts shoulder.

Danhy basically sliding down his dad’s arm, jumping off at his hand, Pariah looked amused. “Hey guys! Presenting-”, gesturing at his parents, “-parental figures that don’t suck!”. ClockWork floats down and smacks him lightly over the head for that; Danhy pouting at him.

Sam instantly points up at Pariah, stomping forward some herself, “you better not try abducting the town again. Or hurt Danny. Or convince him to commit murder”.

While Tuck laughs to himself, Pariah raises an eyebrow at the goth, “I hardly have any reason to”, scowling, “if my son desires or not to kill then that is his prerogative. I have no interest in restricting him either way”.

Danhy doing jazz hands, “hooray for freedom of choice”, holding up a finger, “I’m not pro-murder though”. Pariah simply shrugs at that.

Tuck elbowing Sam, “ah come on, Sam, live a little. Enslave people! Establish your might!”. Danhy flicks Tuck in the head, “bad, Tuck, bad”.

ClockWork floats around the two teens, “know that we’ve met plenty, you were simply unawares”, holding up a fingers, “just because I left my charge in your and the Fenton’s care, does not mean I left him unattended”.

Tuck blinks, “huh. A ghost has been watching me sleep. Kin-”; ClockWork doesn’t even let Tuck finish before smacking him with the staff too. Tuck covering his head, “hey! Ow! Meanie!”. Sam smacks the part of his head that wasn’t covered for good measure. Tuck pouting at her before sticking a hand out at ClockWork and Pariah, “ow. Anyways, I’m Tucker Foley, that’s TF for Too Fine”.

Sam scowling at the boy, “you disgust me”. Her looking to the ghosts, one hand on her hip and sighing, “and I’m Sam Manson, even if someone already knows everything”. Tuck blinking and facepalming, “right. That”. ClockWork’s faint smirk is mean.

Pariah eyeing Danhy, “a bit foolish, eh?”.

Danhy waving his dad off, “hey, they’re dumbasses, totally different”.

Sam poking Danhy, “as if you’re not also a dumbass, Mr. Breaks You Own Hand With A Locker Door To Get Out Of Gym Class”.

Tuck pointing, “or sets a bathroom on fire for a cover story”.

“Or stores your thermos in your chest just because you can”

“Or fist fought a lamp because you said it looked at you funny”

“Or intentionally buys disgusting milkshakes just to see people’s reactions”.

“Or back flips to transform publicly”.

“Or has a crush on someone definitely trying to kill you”.

Danhy puts up his hands in surrender, “okay okay, I get, geez. No need to run a ‘dumb shit Danhy’s done’ lecture by my folks”. They laugh at him meanly. He loves his friends but they absolutely do know every embarrassing or bad thing he’s ever done; they could go on like this for a while.

Pariah grins wolfishly, putting his hand on Danny’s entire head, “good, a prince is meant for chaos”. Eyeing the two teens, “I doubt I require an introduction, regardless, I am Pariah Dark, overlord of the Infinite Realm, death god, and Danhy’s secondary progenitor”.

ClockWork gesturing to themselves leisurely, “and I his primary. ClockWork, ancient god of time”.

Danhy eyeballing his dad’s hand that’s still on his head, “I have questions about that”. Sure he hadn’t ever directly asked how the zone ghosts had kids, especially with his pops being genderless, but he’d decidedly not asked.

Tuck putting up his hands, “I’m cool with not having those questions answered. Ew”.

Pariah crossing his arms, “I could hardly carry him while dealing with wars and skirmishes. Further, of the two of us, ClockWork is far more durable, immortal as they are”, and gives ClockWork a bit of a fond look.

Danhy makes a face, “well alrighty then”, he is so not pressing for more.

Pariah scowls, “considering their actions, I do regret that ever so slightly”. ClockWork still doesn’t look the least bit apologetic about everything.

Sam points at the large ghost, Danhy gets the feeling that she impressing him at least a little, “well I, we, totally do not regret it”. Tuck punching Danhy in the arm, “yeah, Danny-dude’s great and we like having our friend”.

“Yeah I couldn’t stand your blood mouth crap without him”.

“Oh like your grass mouth is any better”.

“At least I don’t eat dead things!”.

“Well my foods actually worth eating!”.

Then Sam has her boot in hand at record sped, Danhy snagging it while Tuck makes slightly fearful ‘do it Bitch’ motions. Danhy laughing at their antics, ah the comforts of the meat vs veggies argument, “and ecto’s the best of both worlds. Dead but also sometimes never alive or sentient”. They both make faces at him.

His dad has opinions about that while Danhy plays keep away with Sam’s boot, “you eat ghosts? I did not take you for minor cannibalism”.

And Danhy has never thought of it that way, wow. “I mean, I guess? Just like general ecto, you know, not whole ass ghosts flying around”.

Tuck chuckles when Sam tackles Danhy, absolutely getting back her boot. “Oh I’m sure the blob ghosts wouldn’t object”.

“Do not encourage him!”.

Pariah laughs loudly, “I’m sure threats of cannibalism would discourage any uprisings! A unique way to keep the masses in line! Ha! Your own brand of darkness indeed”. ClockWork smirking themselves, “I’m sure the Observants would be horrified”.

Danhy’s opinion on cannibalism do a one eighty right then and there, “in that case, I’m down. Fuck those guys”.

Sam blinks before nodding, “okay even I can’t object to threatening to eat the jerks that tried to murder baby you”.

Tuck humming, “thats more revenge than ‘Danhy’s just a cannibal’ though”, holding up a finger, “and I’m pretty sure ecto-wienies don’t count as just general ecto, man”.

ClockWork’s tone is mean, “they are not, they’re about as sentient as a typical whisp or blob or bleb”, poking Danhy in the check, “cannibalism indeed”.

Danhy play snapping his teeth at the finger, then eyeing them, “which you technically could have stopped but didn’t”; apparently his parents were just cool with Danhy damn near being a legit ghost cannibal.

“I get bored quite easily, why would I stop something with so many interesting kinds of possibilities and outcomes?”, ClockWork waving a hand lazily, “so long as you don’t cannibalise yourself, as you did in one times future”.

Sam and Tuck give Danhy disgusted and horrified looks, “DANNY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!”. At the same time as Danhy mutters, “why would I do that?!?”, him then looking to his friends, “why am I getting in trouble for something that hasn’t actually happen!”.

“Because your pops is a time god!”.

“Because how could you even think about doing that in any timeline! What the Hell!”.

Pariah smacking him chastisingly on the back, which does make him jerk and wobble some, the guys hand was as big as Danhy’s entire body was! And there was the ghost strength at play. “Do not consume yourself”.

“I’m not going to! Oh my zone!”.

When did this meet n’ greet turn into Danhy scolding time?!? Yes he’s done a lot of weird and fucked up and dumb and reckless shit but seriously!

He gets a round of ‘good’s’ and a smirking clockpops in response. Jerks.

And then, bless Danhy’s luck, Vlad shows up. Takes in the three teens and two very powerful ghosts, one being the guy Vlad tried stealing from, and turns to walk away immediately with a, “oh butter biscuits”.

Danhy grinning ferally and basically giving chase, “where you going, Vladdie!? Dontcha wanna meet my real parents!?”.

“I was looking for the one who should be my knight! Not you!”.

“Frighty’s my dog! Get a cat!”.

The two teens and two ghosts watching Danhy ecto-blast Vlad’s shoelaces to nothingness, which of course results in Vlad blasting him into a wall. That of course turns into a transformed Phantom and Plasmius duking it out in the sky, Plasmius looking very miffed about Phantom being able to easily hold his own now.

Pariah letting his son have fun for a bit before snarling, “YOU!”, and launching himself after Plasmius, slamming the startled ghost into a wall with an axe.

ClockWork shaking their head before appearing next to Danhy, poking the boy’s crown, “perhaps you should not have that out while in your mortal lair? No?”.

Danhy blushing, “oh uh, right”, and absorbing the crown into his body. Oops.

“YOU ARE A FOOL WHO SHALL SUFFER! INSOLENT CREATURE!”.

“Aurgh!”.

Sam and Tucker shrug at each other before giving chase as well, weapons drawn and happily shooting at the vampire-themed half ghost.

…

Is anyone surprised when Pariah ends up pinning the ghost? No, of course not. Putting his far larger face looming over the half ghost, “know that it is only by my child’s request that I do not end your puny existence. You are lucky I have no interest in doing away with my son’s plaything”.

Vlad sputtering, “I. Am not. A plaything”.

Danhy pushing his head between them, inches from Vlad’s face and grinning mockingly, “you sure about that one, Vladdie. I’d call this play fighting, and you’re definitely not my friend or family”, then frowning and snarling, letting his green red eyes flash dangerously and with more power than they ever used to hold, “never cross my family again, Vlad”; exerting some of that ecto-pressure on the other halfa that Danhy could do now thanks to being princey.

Vlad chuckles awkwardly and nervously, “message received, Daniel”. Pariah squeezes him tighter with a growl, Vlad squeaking out, “Danhy. I mean, Danhy”.

All of them watching the injured half ghost fly away with his tail between his legs. Danhy is very smug, today has been a very good day. Sam and Tuck give him high fives.

Tuck laughing, “wicked crown, by the way dude”.

“I know! Right! And it somehow doesn’t look weird with the fire hair!”.

“I wish it did, you deserve it”.

“Sam! That’s just mean!”.

“Wait! Do you have ear plugs!?! Wicked!”

All three teens laugh, partly at Danny’s expense but mostly just because they can laugh together.

ClockWork settles on Pariah’s shoulder, humming, “it’s nice, is it not? A good outcome, I would say”.

Pariah almost sighing, “I will still mourn that I could not raise him, though his fraid is acceptable”.

“He remains young, there is still raise yet left to do; and the raising that’s been done is of lesser quality”.

Pariah merely huffs in response.

End.

#danny phantom #phandom #phicphight24 #phic phight 24 #danny fenton #tucker foley #sam manson #phan phic #my writing #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick

[tunashei]

First impressions of Animoprhs!

I'm listening to the Animorphs series while I work, through Animorphs Aloud - a fan made reading of the series. Here are my first impressions/random thoughts about them! Spoilers below if you haven't read them.

Book 7: The Stranger

I often think how you'd REALLY react if you were faced with something paranormal or magical, because it wouldn't just be the monster or ghost or superhero you have to contend with - but your entire knowledge of the universe flipping on it's head. Legit consider how insane you'd go if you found out monsters were *really* real. And they do this to a random person in the start of most books! Ha.

Kind of surprised they consider a human-alien relationship with any sort of seriousness. How progressive. But then there's been a few hints towards Rachel liking Tobias and he's...a bird. Rachel is very open minded.

Somehow I have my doubts Rachel will move away. The clue is the 47 books that come after this.

Man I feel for Tobias, having to spend the rest of his life as a hawk while potentially watching his friends move on. It's not like he can make new friends. Also how long does he even live? Does he have a hawk lifespan now of 10-15 years?

Rachel wants more firepower and she skips the POLAR BEARS? GIRL. Those things are fucking terrifying! Though I did do a bit of research and turns out when Polar Bears and Grizzlies compete for food it's usually the Polar Bears that leave.

Also I have a hard time believing a bear has more 'firepower' than an elephant. Bit easier to move around and get into places as a bear though.

Still can't get over the frequent use of the slang 'hooked up' to mean meeting. Very different meaning nowadays.

The mental image of them fitting pretty much a centaur into a dressing room is very funny.

Wow. Stopping time definitely blindsided me. This Ellimist is like a god?? Was not expecting that.

The descriptions when the Ellimist is showing off the beauty of earth make me very sad I will likely not get to experience it. It's so sad to know coral reefs exist out there, beauty unparalleled, and you can't simply go and see them. Not without money. It's a cruel joke that we're placed on such an amazing planet and yet how little of it we'll see.

Man this is a genuinely tough decision. I really like Cassie's perspective, that humans are now the endangered animals potentially rejecting the one thing that could save them. Honestly if what seemed like a literal god told me the fight is unwinnable I'd probably give in and tell them to take me to a new planet.

Aaaand now the kids are getting eaten alive. I LOVE the amount of traumatising scenarios in these books. Main reason I started em. Feel a bit bad for the Taxon, imagine eating some innocuous snack and it swells up and bursts you from the inside.

Ax has a thing for cutting off people's arms.

You're the second largest carnivore on land Rachel, Polar Bears got you beat.

Also Rachel totally just murdered a bunch of human people.

Now...time travel? Hm not a big fan of time travel.

Damn the Yeerks invested in free, superfast and wide-covering public transport? I'd vote for them.

This is why I don't like time travel. Is it deterministic? Can it be changed? Boggles the mind. The implication is they refuse the Ellimist's offer and stay and fight, and lose, and Rachel becomes a controller. But why would Ax being there mean the future has changed? Did future-Rachel lie about there being six humans to Visser-Three? Why?

PFFFF I'm sorry but as horrifying as the idea of them killing and consuming Tobias after being infected and turned into controllers is, it's also like Disney-level villainy.

If this is the future and it can be changed, why can't Visser-Three kill them? Sure he wouldn't have controller Rachel so the future would be different but the goal of invading would work?

Well this is looking bleak.

I wonder who is keeping Ellimists in check that they even need rules.

Surprisingly quick and efficient mission! And that's the end of that one. A bit confusing, but I wonder if the Ellimist stuff will get clearer later on.

#animorphs #animorphs aloud #book #reading #audio book #first impressions

[ecoamerica]

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[hellsbellschime]

Do you think they have any chance at all of making Jace interesting if they basically eliminate the only plot her has in the books that is about himself? I'm so confused by what I read about the Northern plot being cut or severely pared down, especially with their own insertion of Aegon's prophecy about the Northern threat. How can that make sense?

I mean I think it's possible, I just don't know that this is a priority for the writers and showrunners. Thus far, it doesn't seem like they see the Strong boys as much more than plot devices in Rhaenyra's story, so cutting out one of Jace's few relevant plot points seems on-brand there. It's unfortunate, but they've obviously made more radical changes to F&B already, and it's not hard to imagine that they just want to focus on other things.

As for the prophecy, maybe I'm being too hopeful, but in my ideal scenario it was introduced as a bit of an ironic twist and demonstration of what fuck-ups all of these people are rather than a genuine issue. The idea of the Targaryens passing down this apocalyptic message, only for it to get utterly fucked because Viserys and then Rhaenyra are under the impression that they alone are meant to fulfill this prophecy and therefore no matter what their goals will succeed, is what fascinates me the most about Aegon's prophecy, even though I don't even know if that was the intention.

To me, what makes it seem important within HotD is that first it "infects" Viserys because he tortures and murders his wife based on his belief that he must have a son to pass the prophecy on to, and then he decides Rhaenyra is the chosen one and then changes the line of succession for her based on this belief, despite the fact that it's obviously going to go wrong. Then it similarly affects Rhaenyra, because she now believes that she really is the chosen one, which means that she both has to fight for the throne but will also inevitably win it because her interpretation of the prophecy means she's destined to. And of course, Targaryen hubris and the belief in their own specialness ultimately results in the prophecy dying with Rhaenyra, because it never occurred to her or to Viserys that their beliefs could be wrong. But honestly, I have no clue if that's where they're going with this, it could legit just be an Easter egg for GoT that they intend to do nothing with.

#hotd spoilers for ts

[22degreehalo]

The more I think about it the more I'm just. obsessed with aroace Yuno!!!!

Like c'mon... 'The wanted wanting the wanter /isn't that just too perfect?' She's not doing this compensated dating because she needs the money or has any huge past trauma, there's something else attracting her: it's that normal relationships feel so fake and dishonest (meanwhile even if her clients get feelings for her, it's not her fault because she was upfront that this is a transactional thing) and with these types she can have full control of what goes on and when and where and why!!!

Which is Also making me think of. Complicated slightly fucked up Yuno+Kazui friendship.

And FIRST OF ALL I'm. very new to this fandom and haven't read Most of the drama CDs hahahaha so this is just my first impression BUT

so she approaches him early (i have no idea if any of this is canon im sso sorry this is just what I want. right now.) because guys like him are common clients (either bc they're divorced and lonely or want to feel young again or whatever) but he's just easygoing abt it but Firm No. ('I'm old enough to be your father.' 'Haha, yeah? Isn't that the point?') And genuinely doesn't seem interested which is kinda annoying but whatever.

So she kinda tries or or two approaches with him, like playing the more sexy role of her second MV, but still he's not giving Anything back At All, and honestly it's weird that she's even trying this hard? Normally it's the other way around??? Like it's not like he can even pay her in here so.

She stews a bit and wonders if she does genuinely have feelings for him finally which'd be both annoying and a relief, and honestly it just Fits that that'd be how these things go lmao that she finally has real legit feelings for a guy with no interest in her. (And Mahiru is probably super excited about it bc this is early when she's still perky and happy and wanting to push them together.)

Maybe at some point Kazui does admit that he feels lonely without someone physically there with him to touch and be close to. So Yuno finally gets him to lie in her lap or vice versa or whatever. But it feels sorta weird. And he gets a bit somber. And wonders aloud if this is what it would've been like to have a daughter.

And she just. Gets up and leaves.

She's had guys say stuff like that before. Sometimes cause they pitied her and wanted to 'save her', which was frustrating, and she'd cut them off immediately. Usually because it was some kinda fucked-up incest roleplay, which she enjoyed; more than most roleplays, actually. The sweet lovey-dovey rps are okay but kinda false and make her feel weirdly guilty; the more messed up ones, she can relax in. Fucked up familial relationships, fucked up romantic relationships: what's the difference?

But Kazui actually meant it. No ulterior sexual or compassionate motives.

She apologises later saying that it's because they never hashed out their red flags or what the scene would be about, but she's the professional here and she didn't make sure that happened so it's her bad. And he just seems to accept that, and says he doesn't want to overstep her boundaries. And seems to mean it.

There's some commonality between them. A willingness to hold themselves back. To not talk about things that people don't want to talk about. This dance of fake affection, until it's impossible to tell what one's true feelings are anymore.

She likes having her relationships set out in clear words, without the actual emotional honesty of having to delve into her own psyche. But now she sort of wants to share things with him, and she has no idea what to do with that. And on his side, he senses some similar circumstances between them, but he still isn't yet able to be honest about what he knows about himself deep down. But maybe if he was, he could talk to her.

There's some talk abt sex among the prisoners. These two are expected to have the most experience, but she's kinda like 'sex is okay. It feels good and it's a means to an end.' And he's weirdly mysterious about it all but claims that his perspective is closest to hers, which confuses everyone else.

And............somehow from that they end up being able to have a conversation about Not Wanting What Society Wants You To Want and the weird relationships you have with all that and the ways you do or don't get what you Actually want, an d it's all very good and meaningful but idk I haven't thought that far yet hahahaha that's as far as I got before I had to type it all up :')))

#milgram #aromantic Yuno

[kpchrs]

warren is creepy though. he thinks snuff films are funny. he says to max's face that he's disappointed she won't have sex with him within 3 weeks of knowing him. he plays max and brooke off each other by lying about the tickets for the drive in. he knows how to build pipe bombs. he almost beat nathan to death because he was angry.

I was so surprised seeing this LOL I didn't know that that reached people because I thought my hashtags never worked. Not that I expected it to or that I'm great at writing them down either tho. (Turned out seeing the few likes, it did reach people lol). But, well, obviously I didn't go to law school, Anon, you haven't given me time to do it (heh, and also because obviously that's a joke).

I read this on the day you sent the ask to me btw (which was months ago), but it took me a long time to write this because I got distracted so BADLY. So, sorry for the wait... if you are waiting xD I won’t expect anyone, even you, Anon, to read this. I genuinely don’t give a shit if no one reads this, but I still want to try to argue back. My mindset throughout this eSsAy will be as open and fair as I can.

1. "he thinks snuff films are funny."

Okay, let's pull up the script.

Warren: Haha. Make sure you watch Cannibal Holocaust. Max: No fucking way will I watch that. My mind is twisted enough... Warren: I laughed my ass off. (Episode 1: Crystallis)

Okay, first off, Cannibal Holocaust is not a snuff. That’s false. It is a cult classic horror film. It’s one because it’s (one of?) the first of its kind. Also, while it IS controversial and violent and there ARE something inside that are SO BAD WHYDIDTHEYHAVETODOIT, the film actually has an interesting and legit message. I think it’s not weird if Warren, being a fan of disturbing films or obscure films in general, will be interested in watching the so-called “cult classics”.

So regarding why he laughs, a possibility is that he laughs to pretend/show off to Max that he is tough. I mean, he literally shows off his car in that scene, to impress her. Weird flex but okay, bro.

Another possibility which is more probable is it’s because Warren has a dark sense of humour. Max knows this the day she meets him for the first time, that “he’s dark”. You can read it from her diary.

I think he has a higher tolerance than the average person after getting desensitised watching too much horror, which is why he laughs. Because he sees the comedy somewhere. And I think I have an idea where it is. Hint: It’s connected to the message of the film.

The message is the irony of how fast the characters adapt to savagery and exploit the tribe and their culture for the media, which raises the question: “So which one is the savage one? The tribe who people think should have been the ‘uncivilised’ or the characters who should have been the ‘civilised’ ones?” That twist can be funny with a dark sense of humour. Or it can be as simple as how the climax is satisfying/amusing with the characters getting what they deserve after all they have done fucking with the tribe. Hell, if you want to be meta and look into the background story of the filming, you can laugh too at the hypocrisy between the message and the film’s status as an exploitation film.

2. "he says to max's face that he's disappointed she won't have sex with him within 3 weeks of knowing him."

Hmm, that got filtered by your interpretation so let's go back to the root again aka the script to be objective.

Max: So you're sensitive... Warren: Ouch... That sounds awful the way you say it. Max: How so? Warren: Sensitive usually means "won't be having sex with you." Max: Oh, gawd! You need a sensitive woman to kick your ass. (Episode 1: Crystallis)

I want to confess. I had to think hard about what this means, maybe because I didn’t get the reference, because I’m not a native, or just because it’s a bad dialogue. I mean, of course, it sounded bad but I didn’t know EXACTLY what it meant. It took me 6 months to get it… somewhat… From my understanding, he means that “sensitive/nice guys finish last”, no? So the concern is about Nice Guys™?

I won’t wave this off, Anon, it’s still a distasteful comment to say, I admit. But I believe it’s a bad joke made by Warren, an awkward kid, who tries to hit on the girl he got a crush on. The whole scene is about him trying to be smooth, but failing miserably because (1) as I said, he’s awkward, you are not smooth enough, bro; (2) that’s the wrong thing to say, bro; (3) Max is not interested in you, bro (unless you make her be, I guess).

Warren is cringey. I have facepalmed a lot of times listening to him or reading his texts to Max, but we are all cringey in our teenage years. I don’t want to elaborate on my cringey-ness but I want to at least tell you that I did have a Warren, Anon. I rejected him hard and harshly (which I regret but I was also a teenage kid). But he was ultimately a good kid and we are still close friends. He’s matured and thriving now and I have no doubt if Warren were real, he would mature and thrive too now.

3. "he plays max and brooke off each other by lying about the tickets for the drive in."

Okay, let’s search for those. 

Warren: BTW, the drive-in is actually popular so I'm buying the tix now. Warren: I'll have an extra one. In case you change your mind. [Wed; morning] (Warren’s text messages in Episode 3: The Chaos Theory if you decline the invitation.)

Warren does talk about two tickets but the drive-in charges per car, not per person (based on the poster). What’s the subtext of this dialogue? It’s saying that Warren still hopes that Max comes with him. Even deeper is Warren nudging Max to convince her subtly to go with him. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t know why these inconsistencies happen, but inconsistencies are not uncommon in the game. So let’s rewrite the text message dialogues to remove the inconsistency, but keep the subtext.

Warren: BTW, the drive-in is actually popular so I'm buying the tix now. Warren: I’ll keep your spot open. In case you change your mind.

Nothing is different. The subtext is still the same. So if his narrative is to… I don’t know, to manipulate Max to go with him, I don’t see why he has to lie in the first place. Because my rewrite does the same job of the subtext. Maybe it is a development mistake.

These are the dialogues that are relevant, right after Max accepts or declines the invitation:

If Max accepts: Warren: I have to tell Brooke I'm going with you to the movies instead. I'll text you later? If Max declines: Warren: Uh, I have to see if Brooke wants to go to the drive-in, Max. Maybe I'll see you later. [Tue; morning] (Episode 2: Out of Time)

Okay, the first one sounds like Warren has invited Brooke first before Max with that “instead” and the second one sounds like Warren hasn’t invited Brooke at all. Weird, isn’t it? This is why people say Warren is playing off both girls. But there’s this dialogue:

Brooke: That's so ironic that Warren asked Max to the drive-in. Brooke: It's not like I don't own all the original "Apes" films. Brooke: Maybe I should've asked Warren to go... [Thu; afternoon] (Episode 4: Dark Room) [Max accepts Warren’s invitation route]

“Maybe I should’ve asked Warren to go”? In the narrative of if like you say, Warren playing them off, this dialogue doesn’t really add up, does it? It sounds like Warren never invites Brooke at all, or at the very least, they talk about wanting to go but never commit to doing it together. Does this make sense?

So what is this? Which one is right? Are these inconsistencies again? Maybe? Am I wrong? Tbh, my head hurts already LOL Tell me what you think. I’m so tired of this game’s inconsistencies.

Brooke is the second choice here. I don’t deny that. She always is even in the alternate universe, poor girl. Even after Warren says that he will ask Brooke instead after Max declines that morning, I think he still procrastinates on that and keeps hoping Max will change her mind until the next day. That’s why later he says: “I’ll have an extra one” (or “keep your spot open” in my rewrite) [Wed; morning].

And then, there’s the scene where Max is dared to kiss or not kiss Chloe [Wed; morning] (Episode 3: Chaos Theory). Regardless of whether Max kisses her or not, Chloe will text Warren later [Thu; morning]. In the route of Max declining Warren’s invitation, it sounds like he finally gets that Max is either not interested in romance or is interested in Chloe. So Warren gives up and he finally invites Brooke to the drive-in (Episode 4: Dark Room) [Thu; afternoon].

Just like Max is not interested in Warren and prioritising Chloe, Warren doesn’t seem to be interested in Brooke and he prioritises Max. Insensitive? Yes lol But, they are teenagers having a crush.

I hope all this makes sense.

4. "he knows how to build pipe bombs."

Because he's a nerd. A nerd who spends his time experimenting with chemistry. Pipe bombs are simple to make too. Max can even make it with his instructions. It's not weird if he knows how to build a lot of stuff. When you are passionate about something, you will want to learn more stuff, right?

Also, Anon, in high school, we begged our chemistry teacher to put potassium inside the water after we heard it would explode. She reluctantly yielded and yeah, it exploded and we screamed and laughed. She immediately regretted her decision. My point is explosion is exciting, Anon. There’s a reason why teenagers like to play with fireworks. Dangerous? Duh. It’s exciting tho, said a lot of teenagers.

God knows I got knowledge on weird stuff just because of some morbid curiosity or because one of my interests gets me interested in researching weird stuff. But my point is, it’s the same with Warren in this case. It’s not weird at all that a science nerd knows how to build a pipe bomb.

5. "he almost beat nathan to death because he was angry."

This, is my favourite point you made. Because despite all the people who decided to let Warren beat up Nathan, you use this point to imply that this isn't right, which weirdly makes me happy to see that it's acknowledged. Because it IS not right! Sorry, I'm just a Nathan trash (who wants to punch him too ironically but of course, I wouldn’t do it lol Sorry, Nate). Of course, you may say this with the intention of “there is something wrong with Warren based on this scene, some anger issues or something which is… dangerous.” Well…

You know, Anon, the thing with Warren is, the game subtly told us that he is bullied. And I was spending time trying to find evidence but I’m frankly so tired of combing the Wikia HAHAHA Turned out, someone has talked about it already.

There’s no confirmation on who bullies him (eh), but my guess is having a room across the kInG oF bLaCkWeLl's (I hate that dumb cheesy nickname lol) is not a good time for him. People can interpret it as him being angry because his crush is getting attacked by Nathan again, but I don't really see that tbh. Maybe it starts off as that, but later it explodes because of the pent-up anger he feels inside after all the bullying he has experienced. That’s the first time he beats up someone. He doesn’t even know he could do that.

Of course, this is just a different interpretation. Some people choose to interpret something from this side of the spectrum and there are people who choose to do it from the other side of the spectrum. I chose “this side of the spectrum” to give you a different interpretation to ponder upon.

People could scoff and say, “Now you are just being biased.” Well… That’s what Warren haters do too. Being biased. Because Warren has so many positive things too, you know? It’s just the same as how Chloe haters are biased and ridiculously bash her hard outside of the fandom, when she has so many positive things.

People could scoff again and say, “You are using ‘him being a teenager’ too much as an excuse.” I believe we are too hard on teenagers. Yes, even the 18-year-old kids. You don’t magically mature and know everything about yourself or the world once you are 18 years old (or 19), even if society deems them as young adults. I sure didn’t when I was 18 (or 19). I only knew what my favourite colours are in my 20s! (Answer: the shades of pink, red-purple, and true red.) Everyone has their own pace. Warren is approximately a month before 17.

Also, I believe in mental growth. If people love the idea of flawed Warren as a character and then they write a fanfiction about him maturing and growing as a person and Max is in the picture, is that a bad thing? Of course not, it’s just them believing in the potential inside a character and character dynamic and using it as a creative outlet. Characters in “Life is Strange” are created to be in the grey shades. From the almost-white (like Kate and Samuel maybe) to the almost-black (like Jefferson). Max is grey. Chloe is grey. Rachel is grey. Warren is also grey. It’s not a bad thing to love fictional grey characters or even villains.

Lastly, let this be a reminder, not only for Anon, but for people in general, that… you don’t know why someone loves something. They may have nuanced reasons that they can’t explain fully if they don’t write long-ass essays and even if they do write one, sometimes people don’t even care about reading it. But if you keep an open mind and listen, maybe you won’t agree, but at least you understand a little bit and respect the opinion. Like, for example, hell, if I hear someone seriously loves Jefferson I will be so baffled (I hate him), but I will be so interested in hearing it and I'll still be so baffled but I’ll respect that, you know? Maybe I'll laugh a lot but only because I’m entertained and happy that they explain it to me. (I’m seriously interested so hit me up if any lol)

But that’s only me and my mindset. The general rule is just please be respectful.

Maybe after this, more people will come to my inbox and point out more things to argue. While… um, okay, I did say I claim to be Warren’s personal lawyer (and I was obviously joking) but until when will you people do this? xD Okay, I can’t stop it, or I can but I don’t want to block the few anonymous asks to my inbox, but since my lawyering is not paid by Warren, whether I will write an essay like this again or not will depend on my time and mood hehehehe xD

Thank you for the ask. I enjoy writing this! For Warren sympathisers, I hope I do him justice. If not, I’m sorry, but let’s hear it.

I'm shocked if someone is actually reading this, but if so, thanks for reading.

Kris

#defending #warren graham #life is strange #grahamfield #kris got asks

[bright-and-burning]

okay yeah i didn't know that there's the different ai stuff and that this is generative ai BUT GOD AM I HAPPY to see that you know the difference between ai and ml like !!! this is not ai !!! it's such a trend now and it's so wrong and so frustrating beyond the, in this case, misogynistic aspects of it. like this is not ai !! but that sounds catchy and URGH so frustrating. okay that's all i love ur additional tags thank u xoxo

yeah!! i did my undergrad degree focused on this kind of stuff (and dropped out of doing a phd in it at the last minute) so it's Literally my roman empire. like. i took so many courses in this and THEN it blew up right at the end of my degree and the misinformation........ chatgpt getting massive my senior year of college made me soooo mad i legit started to resent my field. like this particular use is particularly egregious (why hire a woman in an area severely lacking in women when we can rampantly misuse important computational and REAL LIFE resources to create a fake woman to "talk" abt SUSTAINABILITY!!!) but in general i am like constantly infuriated by AI bullshit from a lot of different sides bc Everyone overestimates/glorifies it/turns it into something it isn't, essentially. (rant abt AI from an AI perspective under the cut that idk might be informative or interesting LOL. i tried not to get technical but i did get mad)

generative ai drives me BONKERS bc it's literally not artificial intelligence. chatgpt is NOT AI it's fucking glorified predictive chat and all the dumbass tech bros on linkedin and twitter who hail it as like world changing infuriate me lol. like chatgpt literally works by calculating the word with the highest probability to come next in the sentence/in response to that prompt based on the data it trained on. is that super impressive ignoring the real world stuff going on? yeah!! it is! it's doing really well and it's fascinating in an academic sense. but then you put it in the real world context, where dumbass tech bros and business leaders worship it as god and where SEO morons use it to turn the internet to sludge and it's like oh god WHY.

and the ai art bullshit oh my god. ok i took a machine vision class right. and like literally one of my projects was to write code that could take in a photo and output it in the "style" of another photo. like as the cs version of a creative exercise, basically (they give u a Lot of projects that are basically write ur own version of an algorithm that's already been written more efficiently by someone else, bc that's how you can kind of pick it apart and really understand it, it's like reverse engineering) to show us how that works. (photos from that project are below; i took the cactus photo and then i "combined" it with a monet. i am STAUNCHLY anti-ai "art" btw this was Lich rally an assignment lol). but do you know what i learned (and what my whole class learned)? it's not fucking magic. it's LINEAR ALGEBRA. it's linear algebra on a truly batshit crazy level, combined with some crazy optical physics equations, but it's literally math. technically speaking, if you had infinite time, and were really insanely good at math (and really really perfect abt not making mistakes), you could do it by hand lol.

ai art from prompts? that's just turning words into numbers (not hard!! i did a project that did that in my second year of undergrad in literally 6hrs!!!) and THEN doing some crazy math and turning numbers into PIXELS! the computer does not know what is going on. it is a FANCY CALCULATOR. WHEN U THINK ABT IT LIKE THAT ASSIGNING HUMAN TRAITS TO MATH IS INSANE.

like tech bros who are like bro chatgpt is aliveeee bc they talk to it is like. if i made my high school graphing calculator draw a smiley face and then was like omg it has emotions......

anyways. like do you know how many projects ive worked on that use AI/ML for GOOD??? like. same kind of techniques that ppl use to create generative ai "art" algorithms? used to do things like detect cancer in scans before human doctors can do it with any confidence. isn't that so fucking cool???? i interviewed w a professor who used machine vision (so literally the field that is now seen as being abt ai art) to figure out what nutritional/vitamin deficiencies ppl in remote villages in madagascar are likely to have based on SATELLITE IMAGERY. so that the overworked underfunded public health ministry could more easily meet their needs without necessarily having to do expensive testing on everyone! i mean, shit, i've worked on really cool sports analytics projects using machine vision. that's not exactly saving lives lol but like. just goes to show how many positive applications there are!

in terms of chatgpt vibes like. i've worked on natural language processing! it has so much more potential than spitting out misinformation!! silly projects for classes, like classifying what political party a politician belonged to based on their tweets, but also more serious stuff in the research i did, like analyzing international public opinion by demographic and country on various conflicts based on individuals' social media posts! analyzing covid vaccine opinions based on demographics, and how to encourage vaccination rates based on that!!

idk it's just. infuriating. that ceos and dumbass business majors (sorry to business majors but i have met a Very Specific Type who like to butt into my field and i am Not A Fan) have completely twisted these really and truly interesting projects and applications. to continually make more money and to cut out/replace more and more people. and the way funding has mirrored this kind of interest, in part bc it makes money (the remote villages nutrition thing is never gonna make money. working on chatgpt on the other hand...) and in part bc of like. basically fear-mongering? you get so much more attention for research in these really dramatized fields (and people lie ALL THE TIMMEEEEEEE to get more interest) and it's all CAP. it's BULLSHIT. and it's just to create buzz for big tech companies' bottom lines. they don't care that it's fear based, or whatever. like people being terrified abt the impact of generative ai bc of bullshit headlines and disinformation HELPS THEM make MORE MONEY. and it's so FUCKING STUPID!!!! it makes me SICK!!!!!!

anyways. it's all math, at the end of the day. and i found a job where i get to use it to help people but i still am like deeply grossed out by what comes out of my field and gets popular bc . i got into this bc i loooove data i love information i love finding things out. and i love using those things to help people... and there are ppl using the things i love to hurt people......... it makes me so sad. and mad.

#i used 'like' probably a thousand times here sorry #and also sorry for . how long this got in response LOL. but yeah basically i agree !!! and thank u for chiming in #ai rant from eve what's new #actually idk if ive ever ranted abt it on here lol. but my irl friends have listened to me go on and on abt this many times #ask #cant believe i actually get to kinda use my degree here. normally i just watch the lawyers do their thing #i LITERALLY did sports analytics AND physics analytics stuff is the ironic thing. i have the background lol

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