#kevin put him in your purse. hes scared

[dayurno]

jean moreau saddest meanest little puppy dog in the whole world…….. he just wants Friends he just wants something to hold onto!

#he can do whatever he wants forever #its normal. its normal for puppies. its fine #hes going to be okay we're getting him out of the streets you can calm down now #asks #jean #also as an addendum i think its so funny if jean is not a big black dog or whatever but hes actually a little #shaky crusty white dog #sitting in renees purse terrified of the world #do you understand the vision. #when chihuahuas bark loud as fuck to establish dominance #thats jean to me #kevin put him in your purse. hes scared #if youre cold hes cold. pick him up

[halstudandruz]

Research Purposes ~ Part 2

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: What happens when the only person in the world you didn’t want finding out does?

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Part one found here (NSFW, 18+)

A/N 2: Also thank you to @enchantedblackrose for the idea 😊

If you are not 18+ and are unable to read part 1 and want to back story just hit me up (:

“We’re so freaking late. There’s no way we’ll have time to stop for my car.” You rushed around Jay’s apartment, pouring coffee for both of you.

“And whose fault is that.” Jay looked at you accusingly.

“I was just trying to help the environment.” You shrugged, handing him his cup after checking the lid.

“You and I both know we wasted more water in there together than we would’ve showering on our own.” He retorted grabbing his badge and gun off the coffee table to secure them to his belt.

“Yeah okay so I wanted shower sex sue me.” You rolled your eyes shrugging your jacket on.

“I wasn’t the one complaining.” He smiled, taking a drink.

“We would’ve had more than enough time if you didn’t insist on cuddling this morning.” You pointed out, remembering how he pulled you back into his chest every time you tried to move out of bed a couple hours prior.

“You like shower sex. I like cuddling.” He teased handing you your purse.

“Maybe we can draft up an alternate schedule.” You joked.

“I do hear compromise is the key to a healthy relationship.” He replied.

“We gotta go if you don’t want to get pulled over for speeding.” You changed the subject reaching for the door knob, before being tugged back by your arm, turning in time for Jay’s lips to meet yours in a sweet, passionate kiss.

“To get us both through the day.” Jay winked reaching around you to open the door and usher you out.

This was the second time that week you and Jay would be showing up to work together. Nobody noticed it the first time, but your anxiety climbed at the thought of someone recognizing and approaching you about it. What would you say? You and Jay were only in it purely for the sex. Right? Regardless of that fact that you had stayed at his house almost every night the past couple weeks even without the promise of sex, or how your stuff was starting to accumulate at his house from the past few months. A few t-shirts mixed in with his, hair straightener resting on his bathroom organizer, makeup scattered about on the dresser. Friends with benefits, that’s all it was. Nothing more and you certainly were not gaining feelings for him. Absolutely not that was against the rules and you were not about to be some stereotypical fuck buddy turned feelings trope, but you were getting sloppy apparently. You agreed to enter through the front while Jay entered through the back. Skipping up the steps you threw a smile at Trudy offering her a good morning, but in return she stared you down, eyebrow raised as she rested against the desk.

“What?” You stopped in your tracks in front of her. But she stayed silent giving you a look, and you just knew she knew. She was Trudy Platt. She knew everything.

“You should tell him.” She whispered to you, and it’s not the first time she had said something of the sort recently.

“Tell who, what?” You continued to fake innocence as you had the times before.

“It’s going to end badly.” She pushed again.

“It already did end badly.” You reminded her before trudging upstairs feeling the heat of her stare still on your back. Everyone except Kim was already there, including Jay who had his feet kicked up on his desk looking through a file. You greeted everyone draping your coat over the back of your chair and falling into it.

The first hour ticked by slowly, and you found your eyes moving across the room to focus on Jay. Opened documents lay across your desk. He looked so relaxed, shoulders loose, breaths slow and even, head resting against his palm as he fought not to fall asleep. You knew he would rather be out chasing suspects, but deep down you were starting to register you were okay with paperwork days. It meant he was safe, and that thought scared you a little. The last time you had those same thoughts you were staring at a different man in the room. A man who sat not too far behind Jay, clicking his pen absentmindedly as he often did when he was bored.

“Ruz, I’ll break the damn pen.” Kevin grumbled, as he had many times before in response to the habit.

“Sorry.” Adam mumbled, setting the utensil onto his desk away from his fidgety hands.

You chuckled at the small exchange, experiencing the exact same one many times in the years you had been detailed in intelligence with the best people you could’ve ever asked to work with. That certainly didn’t mean it wasn’t complicated though, and you were the very obvious example of that. You watched Jay’s head bob catching himself before adjusting in order to keep himself awake. His eyes accidentally met yours, heart rate immediately increasing. He sent you a small smile as his eyes started to roam over your body. Looking for a distraction from the tedious work. You couldn’t scold him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been doing the same thing the past 10 minutes. Looking at his arms that were tight against his sleeves you wondered if the scratch marks you left on his biceps this morning would still be prevalent, or if the fading hickey from nights prior was still noticeable on his hip bone.

“I need coffee. Anyone else?” You asked trying to divert the obvious eye fucking your were giving each other. Everyone in the room raising their hands. You laughed taking notice of all the tired eyes who so obviously wanted to bash their heads off the desk already bored out of their minds, just waiting for a case to jump off.

“I’ll help.” Jay offered, voice gruff from barely speaking all morning. Together you poured and distributed everyone cups. Sitting back down into your chair when Jay was handing Kev his.

“You gonna shave that thing anytime soon? You usually can’t stand it past a week.” Kevin asked Jay, referring to his beard. They had always teased him whenever he claimed it grew in patchy compared to Adam and Kevin’s and it usually resulted in him having a clean shaven face the next shift. But it had grown in quite nicely this time, and he made sure to keep it presentable by trimming it as needed.

“No, it’s starting to grow on me. I’m keeping it for research anyway. Seems it can enhance far more than just my facial features.” Jay shrugged casually sitting back down atin his chair, and at his words you choked on your coffee spitting it all over your desk. Uncontrollable coughs tickling your throat.

“You good [Y/L/N]?” Hailey asked standing up to help you.

“Yeah..sorry. Just.. went down the wrong pipe. Didn’t expect it to be so.. hot.” You explained between coughs looking across the room to glare at Jay who wore a cocky smirk on his face, flipping through papers not daring to look up at you.

“You forget your ice?” Adam asked, knowing you had put a couple cubes of ice in your coffee every morning cooling it down so you could drink it faster.

“I must’ve. Kinda out of it today.” You shook your head taking napkins out of your drawer to try to clean up the mess you had made on your desk as well as your white shirt.

“I’ll get you some.” He started to walk towards the break room.

“It’s really okay I spit most of it out anyway.” You laughed.

“I’ll just get you a new cup.” He reasoned and you just thanked him not feeling like bickering with him about it. He had been going out of his way to do nice things for you recently. You assumed either so you wouldn’t spill the beans about him and Upton or because he felt bad.

“There’s no way this is coming out..” You grumbled dabbing at the tan stain forming on your shirt, “Do you happen to have a spare?” You asked, turning towards Hailey.

“I’m sorry I don’t. I used my spare the other day after that shooting and haven’t brought another extra.” Hailey apologized. You waved her off thanking her anyway.

“There’s one in my locker.” Jay offered, “You’ll probably just have to tuck it in.” You thought for a moment, it probably wouldn’t look like a big deal. Just a friend helping out a friend.

“Okay. Thanks.” You nodded getting up to head to the locker room where Jay followed. “I know where your locker is.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, but you don’t know my combination nor are you very good at opening dial locks. Hence why you have a keypad one on yours.” Jay pointed out, spinning his combination. He was right. You could never open dial locks.

“Do you analyze everything I do?” You crossed your arms annoyed at how well he always seemed to know you.

“You’re an interesting person babe.” He smiled handing you the shirt as he kissed your forehead.

“Watch yourself. You don’t know who’s hiding in here.” You lectured, “this is your fault by the way.”

“I know. Total win-win situation.” Jay laughed, smiling brightly.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Jay Halstead.” You groaned, a small smile on your lips.

“What a way to go though, huh?” He quipped, giving you a quick kiss.

“Get out.” You pushed his chest.

“What? No free peep show? I offered you my shirt and everything.” He acted offended.

“They’re gonna start getting suspicious if we are in here any longer go.” He huffed at your reply giving in and leaving as you turned around to switch shirts. Jay’s scent immediately overwhelmed you as you slipped his shirt on. Causing your body to relax in turn at the familiar fragrance. Jay was right, you had to tuck the shirt into your jeans, otherwise it could’ve been a dress thanks to your large height difference. Turning to walk out of the locker room, you were met with Adam holding a new cup of coffee out to you making you jump at the unexpected body in your path. “Thank you.” You giggled taking it from his hand to take a drink.

“Did you change?” He asked, eyeing the shirt you now wore.

“Oh yeah. I had white on and it was gonna stain so Jay offered me his shirt.” You explained, shifting on your feet at the uncomfortable conversation.

“Well I have one. It might fit you better.” He offered moving to walk towards his locker, but you put a hand to his chest stopping him.

“I’m good this one is perfectly fine.” You reassured him, Adam stared at you, breaking the tense silence with a long sigh, leaning against the side of the lockers.

“Listen we never got to talk about that night you came to my apartment. I just wanted to say I’m really sorry you-“ He began to apologize when Kevin peeked his head in the door.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt..” he looked between the two of you awkwardly, “but we just got a case.” Adam cleared his throat as you nodded,

“We can..finish this later.” You chewed on your lip pushing past him to grab your coat out of Kevin’s hand.

It was nearing 8 o’clock by the time Voight had given you guys permission to go home and get some sleep. Knowing you’d be returning bright and early in the morning to continue to case.

“What do you think about pizza tonight? I’ve been craving some Bartolis.” Jay asked walking down the stairs behind you.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” You stopped turning to face him when you rounded the corner out of sight.

“Well I can just get pizza and I’ll stop for whatever else you want too.” He offered.

“I’m not talking about food, Jay.” You laughed, looking at the ground. Your mind had been racing since showing up with Jay this morning.

“Then..what are you talking about?” He asked, stepping closer towards you.

“I mean I don’t know I’ve been at your place almost every night the last couple weeks.” You whispered, hoping your voice wouldn’t carry to anyone nearby.

“Well we can go to your place. That’s fine.” He reasoned.

“No that’s not..” You sighed not able to find the words.

“Hey, just talk to me. What’s up.” He encouraged hands falling to your hips holding you gently.

“I’m just worried we’re starting to get careless. Showing up to work twice in one week together. One of these days we’re bound to get caught either coming in together or showing up on scene together. We don’t even know what this is. I don’t want to have to talk to Voight about it in the meantime.” You explained.

“We can be more careful. I promise. I just don’t want you to freak out about this.” He assured you tucking your hair behind your ear. “Can we just address how good you look in my shirt. I’m so glad you’re such a klutz..” Jay’s eyes roamed up and down your body.

“I am not a klutz! How did you expect me to react?” You crossed your arms, glaring at him as you did a few hours prior.

“Well is it not the truth? This thing is still on my face purely for your satisfaction.” He reminded you by trailing his lips down your neck, immediately summoning goosebumps from the raggedness tickling in the wake of his lips. He winked knowing his point was proven, moving up to place a soft kiss on your lips. “Sooo pizza?” He asked, pulling back, hopeful look on his face.

“Fine, but I’m not going in to get it.” You rolled your eyes, a bright smile on your face when he wrapped an arm around your shoulders pulling you towards his truck but when you rounded the corner your eyes connected with Adam’s who stood near the door, eyes wide between you two as Jay let his arm fall to his side, your feet rooted to the floor.

“I forgot my wallet in my locker.” Adam explained stammering over his words.

“Well don’t let us keep you. See you tomorrow brother.” Jay remained calm grabbing your arm to pull you out. Patting Adam on the shoulder when you passed.

“Shit!” You cursed when you reached Jay’s truck.

“What?” He questioned and you looked at him dumbfounded.

“You’re fucking kidding me right?” You scoffed.

“He’s not gonna tell Voight. For starters it’s Adam. Plus we know about him and Hailey. He can’t.” He shrugged.

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” You yelled.

“You just said that’s what you were worried about.” Jay reminded you, trying to catch up. “Babe.” He urged when you didn’t answer him.

“You don’t get it Jay!” You shook your head, lump forming in your throat at the anxiety the situation presented.

“No, you’re right I don’t. I’m sorry. Help me understand.” He grabbed a hold of your hand trying to get you to face him.

“Not right now.” You chewed your lip feeling a few tears fall down your cheeks, quickly swiping them away before they were seen, but you knew Jay would know regardless. You were tired, hungry, and now slightly panicking at the thought of having to address the entire situation. His hand squeezed yours tighter before starting his truck putting it in drive.

All Tag List:

@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3

Jay Taglist:

@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda

#jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #Chicago pd #one chicago imagine #one chicago

[cowboy-eddie]

May’s Tattoo

When May decides she wants to get a tattoo, and Athena isn’t exactly with the idea, she turns to two of the most tattooed people she knows; Buck and Eddie.

You can also read this on my AO3! hit up CallMeG :)

“Mom, I want to get a tattoo.”

Athena paused for a second, before turning to her daughter.

“What brought that on?”

“I want to express myself. I want to have something that defines me right now, even if it won’t later because it’s relevant now and it’s something I want to do while I’m young.”

Athena hummed, patting Bobby on the shoulder for backup and he cleared his throat.

“I’m sure Buck or Eddie would have a couple of recommendations.”

“Bobby, Buck and Eddie both got their tattoos elsewhere in the country.”

“Not true; Buck has one on his ribs he got in LA and Eddie got one before he came back to work on his arm.”

May crossed her arms.

“Is Eddie gonna give me that dad speech he has warmed up at all times?”

“Probably.”

Athena glared at Bobby, jabbing her elbow into his ribs to get him to shut up. Of all the people, she thought he’d be the one against it.

“Fine. I’ll ask Buck.”

May reached into her pocket and tapped away on her phone. A second later she had an answer and picked up her keys.

“I’m going to see Buck; I’ll be back later.”

“Okay honey, drive safe,” Athena called after her. She turned to Bobby, hands on her hips, and Bobby’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I was asking for help to convince her not to, Bobby.”

“She had a really good argument! Besides, I’m her stepfather. At least with Buck and Eddie she has good support.”

may’s tattoo

Buck opened the door and smiled at May, giving her a quick hug before inviting her inside.

“Eddie is here too; he’s in the living room.”

“Is Christopher here?” May asked, poking her head in and Buck shook his head.

“Abuela and Pepa practically begged to take him off Eddie’s hands for the night.”

“So just two bros, chilling on a couch, five feet apart...”

“Don’t say it,” Buck huffed and May laughed as she tossed her purse and mask on to the counter before taking off her shoes and leaving them on the shoe rack.

“Hey, Buck, can you grab me a beer?” Eddie called from the living area and Buck grabbed it from the fridge, popping the top off before leading May over to the couch.

“Eds, May is here. She wants to ask us something.”

“What’s up?”

Eddie sat up, feet on the floor instead of the couch and suddenly May got the idea they’d been snuggling before she knocked.

“Am I interrupting date night?”

“No!”

“What are those anymore?”

May glanced between Eddie and her pseudo-brother, before she laughed.

“I definitely did. Uh, I wanted to ask you guys about your tattoos. I was thinking of getting one, and Bobby directed me to you two.”

“That’s so not a good idea,” Eddie snorted into his beer and Buck shoved his elbow into his boyfriend’s ribs before turning back to May.

“What are we talking? First experiences? I got my first one when I was eighteen, and I probably wouldn’t recommend getting one in a dodgy parlour out the back of a gas station.”

“Is that even legal?” May asked and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Probably not. Uh, my first one... I got it right before I went to Afghanistan. It meant a lot to me.”

“Find a way. Hm.”

“My parents aren’t like yours, May. They wanted to coddle me for all the wrong reasons, and I had to get out of there. Christopher was more their son than I was.”

Buck squeezed Eddie’s shoulder, shrugging.

“Mine are all just a reminder of my life experiences and everything I’ve done.”

Next thing May knew, Buck had pulled up his shirt to show off his most recent ones.

“The uh- the human head, and the brain- it kinda symbolises how brilliant the human mind is when we remember to use it, and sometimes I need the reminder to use it.”

May burst out laughing and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“That’s an understatement. The one on my other arm... not the quote...”

“The map and compass?” May asked and he nodded, pulling up the hoodie May only just realised was Buck’s to show his forearm. It was clearly scarred, from shit she had no reason to ask about, but the detail in the image was beautiful.

“Oh my god- Eddie, it’s... it’s gorgeous. That would have taken ages!”

“Thanks, and it did. Something about guiding me in the right direction. North always leads to home.”

“I thought North always led to water?” Buck asked, brows furrowed. May shushed him, suddenly interested in the designs on Eddie’s arm.

“Did it hurt?”

“Nah-“

“-he has no sense of pain, May, don’t listen to him,” Buck said and Eddie glared.

“Neither do you, asshole.”

“Okay, if you want to get into this-“

“-guys! Can you at least wait until I’m out the door before you start making out?”

Buck pulled Eddie’s hoodie sleeves down and Eddie swatted at the back of his head.

“Do you know what you want?” Buck asked and May shrugged.

“I’m not sure yet, but I have some ideas.”

may’s tattoo

A few weeks later, Bobby appeared in the doorway to his office and called for Buck and Eddie. They headed into the office and Bobby closed the door, hands on his hips.

“So you convinced May getting a tattoo was a good idea.”

“Uh, no, we didn’t,” Eddie said, eyebrows furrowed but Buck shrugged.

“We didn’t exactly discourage it.”

“Buck!” Eddie huffed, shoving an elbow into his boyfriend’s ribs while Bobby just sighed.

“You two had one job. One.”

“I thought it was saving people,” Buck deadpanned. This time Bobby was the one who smacked him upside the head.

“Athena is not keen for May to get a tattoo!”

“Oh,” Buck and Eddie said simultaneously. Bobby nodded.

“Oh indeed. So, here’s what’s going to happen. I don’t want you to scare her out of it, but I do want you guys to be honest the next time she asks questions- maybe don’t tell her about the weed, Buck?”

Buck promptly shut his mouth and winced. He didn’t think Bobby knew about that part of Buck 0.5.

“You got it Cap,” Eddie agreed, hooking a finger through the belt loop at the back of Buck’s pants.

may’s tattoo

“May, come through. Do you have someone with you- Buck! Are you here with this young lady?”

“Yeah, May is my captain’s stepdaughter. Eddie might swing by later though.”

Following the tattoo artist through to a private room, the tattoo artist flicked the curtain closed and shook Buck’s hand.

“Good to see you man. Okay May, what are we doing today?”

“I want a line of power poles.”

“Wow, nice choice. Okay, sit down and let’s do a little prep work before I start drawing.”

May took a seat on the chair while Buck stood toward the back of the room, watching May’s eyes dart around the room.

“Hey. It’s okay if you’re not ready,” he said gently, “we can rebook for later.”

“No! I’m doing this.”

The tattoo artist took a seat on one of the stools, reaching for a sketchpad and transfer paper.

“So, power poles. Where are you thinking of putting them?”

“On my side.”

May lifted her tank top to expose her ribs, gesturing to the area. The tattoo artist frowned.

“That is one of the more painful places to get your first tattoo. I’m happy to do it, I just wanted you to be aware it’s not going to be comfortable.”

“He’s right,” Buck said. May smacked him on the arm.

“I’m doing this. Shut up.”

Buck promptly shut his mouth and the tattoo artist did some sketching on his paper before reaching for a marker.

“I’m going to mark it out on your skin with this, and then you can tell me what you think. How does that sound?”

“Good.”

may’s tattoo

“Hey, my boyfriend and his stepsister are here. May and Evan?”

“Oh, yeah, come through. Do they know you’re coming?”

“Yeah, he just asked me to bring coffee for him and something for May to sip on.”

The receptionist at the tattoo store led Eddie through the back rooms before knocking on a door.

“Hey, Kevin, Evan’s boyfriend is here. Can he come in?”

There was confirmation from the other side and the receptionist gestured for Eddie to go inside.

“Knock yourself out, I guess.”

Eddie opened the door and Buck glanced up at him with a smile.

“Hi sweetheart- oh thank god.”

“Caramel frappe, with a drizzle of chocolate sauce in the frappe as well as one on top. That was one of your tamer coffee orders, baby.”

“You’re a saint. Kevin, you remember Eddie?”

“Hey man, how’s that tattoo going?”

Kevin was working along May’s ribs. May had a death grip on Buck’s hand and she kept trying to focus on her phone but Eddie could see she was in pain. Clearing his throat, he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Need another hand to break?”

“Shut up.”

Eddie put the coffee tray on the table, Buck giving him a kiss. Eddie settled on Buck’s knee, giving May’s wrist a squeeze.

“You doing okay?”

“It doesn’t sting or anything, it’s just… uncomfortable.”

“That’s good. We booked Kevin because he knows exactly how to do this without hurting you too badly.”

Buck took a sip of his frappe, sighing in relief.

“Now that is good.”

“When can we get you back in the chair, Eddie? Any plans?” Kevin asked, focus on the lines he was tracing.

“Uh, maybe. I have some ideas. My son just turned ten, so I was thinking about something for him but I’m not sure yet.”

may’s tattoo

Helping May off the chair, Buck pulled the mirror around and she beamed at the brand new tattoo on her side, about to be wrapped. Eddie smiled as May turned to hug Buck before she paused.

“Okay. No hugs for a little while. Wrap me, Kevin.”

Kevin wrapped the tattoo and put a non-stick dressing on top, finishing up. He passed May the gel for aftercare, smiling at Buck and Eddie.

“I’m sure these two can tell you how to use this stuff.”

“It’s pretty straightforward, right?” May said.

“Relatively,” Buck agreed. Leaning into Buck’s side, Eddie pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Bobby’s gonna kill us.”

“We can avoid him. Surely.”

“How long have you known Bobby, again?”

may’s tattoo

First thing Monday morning, Bobby leaned over the balcony and yelled for Buck and Eddie as they came in. Exchanging glances, they put their duffel bags in their locker and headed upstairs. Bobby was sitting at the dining table, hands together.

“So, May came home Saturday afternoon with a brand new tattoo. You two wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?”

“Uh-“

“-we did our research beforehand. Eddie and I both went to the same tattoo artist last time and I’ve worked with him before. I had a chat with him before May went in and we were both there the whole time.”

Bobby was quiet for a moment as he took in Buck’s confession. Shrugging, he got up.

“Sounds like May’s old enough to make her own decisions. Athena wants her safe, and I trust you two to make sure she is. Thank you for helping her make her own decisions.”

#911 #9-1-1 #May Grant #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Bobby Nash #Athena Grant #911 on fox #9-1-1 on fox #911onfox

[rexeipts]

Monday Morning Rewatch Thoughts

This episode was disappointing. I think the last episode would have served as a better mid-season finale personally. Thoughts below:

Annie

- The plot of, “I wasn’t Ben,” and Annie being motivated to keep Ben in his current school for that reason is amazing. That is the kind of plot I want, and care about, for Annie. I love that they have included Ben’s transition into the story line in a way that it isn’t the main focus and that Ben has other pieces of characterization and other challenges/points of conflict than just his transition, but that they haven’t shied away from it when it makes sense.

- The financial aid lady is a down.ass.bitch. for telling Annie to just go find some guy she’s slept with the put down on the paperwork. I’m sorry, but that was great of her to be like listen here’s a loophole so you can help your kid and I will not ask questions. 

- I did not like the Kevin (name?) storyline at first because it just didn’t make sense? And I did not like his characterization at the auction of being the “trashy homeless guy” who eats way too much food and steals dogs. I felt like he had more to him when he told Annie that he doesn’t want to be a favor to her. I think she has more chemistry with him than any other guy we have seen her with (including Greg, sue me) and I’m actually looking forward to a possible storyline of her and him falling in love via being awkward roommates. I am hoping it has a current of don’t judge a book by it’s cover, and that Kevin is someone who is a good person and has an interesting story that brings Annie to some sort of realization about herself.

Ruby/Stan

- I HATED... yes... HATED Beth in the scene where Stan was going over the game plan. She was so damn condescending. Stan was biting his tongue and being as polite as he could be, but she was fucking rude. Point blank. Rude. 

- Because of that, I loved the scene where he called Beth out. And he is fucking right. And you know what? He even threw her a bone that she was ignored in her home for so many years. Which is fucking true, and made the conversation SO much more nuanced than just Stan calling her out. It made it sooo much more complex that he mentions her motivations. He has known this woman like a family member to his own family for decades. It makes sense he would see and understand the nuances of why she is doing what she’s doing. I hope it is foreshadowing for something more to come. 

- Sarah and Ruby have the best chemistry of any parent/child relationship in my opinion. I love watching them on screen even for just a few moments. 

- Ruby’s, “I did it for me,” at the end was remniscient of Beth telling Dean, “I wanted to,”. Yes, thank you. Ruby is not a yes man. She did this shit for her family, for her kids, for herself. As much as I think Beth might try to be in charge and often is, it was a good reminder that Ruby is still in there and still has a backbone. She has called Beth out with stealing the Tesla, with the sex tape, etc. before and I want that energy back.

- Annie and Ruby having a sweet moment together on the bench was great, I love them together. They’re so fun but also so so sweet.

Beth/Dean

- She’s with fricken Dean again this week.

- Beth’s eyebrows and wig are fucking terrible. Someone CHILL with the eyebrow filler.

- Was Rio just watching Dean and Beth? Like hanging out waiting? He was like RIGHT THERE when Dean got up. Was he behind a tree watching Dean with his arm around Beth just boiling? 

- Dean being pitied by the guy he was trying to sell product to was great. He has been knocked down so many pegs. But also, it was a waste of fucking screen time.

- Not so easy to get out from under someone’s thumb, huh Deansie? How’s it feel to be a dumb ass yet again? A year’s supply of skin care? Guessing Beth is gonna have to bail him out which is again a waste of screen time and something no one gives a shit about seeing.

-  The fact that Dean thinks he was good at selling cars is just... sad.

- Beth being a “bad bitch” and selling purses to the husbands who went to see strippers is completely undermined by her being a doormat for Dean who is a sexist, condescending pig who cheated, lied about cancer, and has not shown a single ounce of respect for her as a woman outside of her ability to raise children and make cookies.

- I do not want to see a storyline of Beth trying to get money to leave and go to Nevada or wherever. I know the show runners have said Beth will realize she can’t escape Rio if they’re in the same town, so that is what this storyline is going to be. Her trying to escape Rio yet again. This has been drawn out long enough now. This episode was so confusing and weird. Like her and Rio got the trust of the SS just so the agents could leave? Their relationship advancement, her making this choice of him or SS, etc. was for... what? The drama of the last episode was because of... what exactly? What was the entire point of the SS storyline if it literally put us no where? I’m asking sincerely if anyone has thoughts.

- I don’t want to see Beth and Dean anymore. I am fucking exhausted of seeing Beth and Dean. I am over it. I spent almost this entire episode on my phone because I was bored. The Beth being sweet to Dean storyline is so so so far past where it made any logical sense to the plot. There has been no advancement or progress. She’s supposed to be in a love triangle? We have seven episodes left and there has been absolutely zero progress in her and Dean’s situation. I will be looking for some fucking conflict in this next episode with Dean seeing Rio otherwise I have little to no hope for the Brio ship going forward.

Rio/Nick

-  Rio is the spider that Dave talked about right? That he couldn’t get and so he never went back in the bed?

- Nick is a pathetic pussy, and so is his bodyguard. Mick is the only ‘muscle’ I want on my screen. Thanks.

- The bullet wounds not being there is unacceptable. Not just because it completely minimizes the fact that this man was shot in the chest three times and left to die, but also just from a plot standpoint. Like this was the entire storyline of season 3. Wtf. I understand Dean’s not being there, because that was treated as a minimal storyline. But Beth shooting Rio was the entire basis of season 3′s conflict. It’s bizarre and completely unacceptable.

- I posted a little while back about stereotypes, guessing that Nick was going to push Rio and Beth together by stereotyping them both and not seeing the deeper connection between them. Tooting my own horn because this is exactly what Nick did. Beth is the soccer mom, Rio the “gangster”.

- Nick and Dean are the same force for Rio and Beth, respectively. They’re both oppressors. They both don’t get it, the draw between the two. Beth and Rio both try to minimize their relationship, admitting only to sex and nothing more, to their oppressors. Beth used to want to get out from Dean’s grasp and Rio currently does with Nick. Both Dean and Nick have put this other person in a box, minimized them to nothing more than a stereotype, taken away their choices, taken away their power and control. How Beth does not realize Dean is her oppressor and not Rio is fucking beyond me.

- Nick doesn't have kids, so who was the kid referring to Rio as his uncle? The female cousin’s child? Let’s see more of her and less of Dean please.

- Rio literally couldn’t cope the second Nick brought up Beth. He walked away like a love-struck teenage idiot not wanting to admit that he made a bad decision over a girl. I’m curious about this. I hope we find out more of why Rio did it. Did he do it just to scare Beth into submission because he knew he couldn’t hurt her? Or was there a layer of thinking Lucy was a threat to Beth? Because Lucy was pissed at Beth. Or a layer of trying to feign still having power in front of his boys but not being able to hurt Beth? 

- Rio’s voice is so raspy at the end, he’s so tired and beaten down, literally and figuratively. And I cannot catch the meaning behind “sometimes it’s worth it”, to be yourself? He sounded so... just sad and down when he said it. It sounded so vulnerable. 

- It is not, I repeat, not a storyline they should go down of thinking it is cool/fun/sexy/empowering/feminist for this “gangbanger” to be in love with the housewife and for her to not reciprocate and then torment him. It’s not. 

Promo/Going Forward:

- I think we have seen confirmation that Rio will lie/keep things from Nick. I think Rio gave Beth the plates, and they will be working together going forward. I hope.

- Rio chilling in the backroom of PP with Beth, so chill, so nonchalant, put me in the ground.

- In the below shot, you can see Rio still sitting there with his hand on his chin as Beth talks to Dean. This scene better be LOADED. Go ahead and mention them banging, Dean. That will be fun. But also I want to see Beth try to talk her way out of it. Go ahead and try to tell Dean you didn’t have a choice Elizabeth. Go ahead and try to minimize what this is when Rio is sitting there listening. That will be golden conflict. I want to see Rio realize the dynamic between Beth and Dean, see him see how submissive and pathetic she is when Dean is around, see how Dean belittles her, and then use that against her to pull her out of her shell. I want to see Beth try to minimize her relationship with Rio, see him call her out on that too. Idk. This scene has been four seasons coming so it better not be a disappointment.

#nbc good girls #gg spoilers #beth boland #annie marks #ruby hill #rio #gg season 4

[simonsrosebud]

so , what about, like getting older together , realizing that they are working for real, and maybe making it official (for the dalton au)

it’s taken me like 2 days to write this because i needed it to be right...

also i realized i read it wrong and didn’t realize u said “making it official” which i’m guessing is in relation to r*ngs but THIS IS JUST AS MUCH OF A MILESTONE FOR THEM!

kevin makes it a point to visit dalton on the weekend.  his second season with the new york blackhawks is coming to an end soon, and the deadline to make a decision about his contract is sneaking up on him.

but when he showers and climbs into dalton’s bed, he’s not the only one with news.  “okay,” dalton says.  he’s smiling, and sits up opposite of kevin.  “so i love teaching here, but- for me, at least, being three hours away from you has been the hardest thing since we’ve graduated.”  not when the moriyama’s stuffed you in a car?

kevin nods along.  they seem to be on the same page, but he’s wondering where dalton’s going with it.  “so i’ve been lining up some teaching jobs out in new york.”

what?

“can i stop you for a second?”  dalton nods, but his face starts to fall.  “new york wants to renew their contract, but i also have really good offers from south carolina, philadelphia, and florida.”

and dalton laughs and grins.  “oh- that’s amazing!”  but kevin knows what he’s thinking.  we can move halfway between the philadelphia stadium and the university.  it would only be a twenty minute drive for the both of us.

but when dalton’s smile fades again he purses his lips.  “but… you wanna go to south carolina, don’t you.”

kevin drops his head.  “i… i don’t want to ask you to leave your job, dalton.  and your whole family is up here.”

“and yours is all down there.”

kevin sighs.  he’s right, but he still can’t ask dalton to up and leave.  not if he doesn’t want to.  “i don’t know what to do,” he says.  “i’m not breaking up with you over location, that’s stupid.  i knew this kind of thing would happen eventually.”

“kevin.”  dalton grabs his chin between his thumb and pointer finger, and he’s got a soft little smile.  “i lined up jobs in new york to be closer to you.”

“i know and i’m sorry, i should have told you sooner-“

“no- i mean, i was willing to find another job there.  why not somewhere else?”  he pauses.  “if south carolina is your decision, would you let me come with you?”

kevin stares at him for a moment.  “really?”  he starts to smile.

“i did live there longer than you, when you think about it.  liked it for a reason.”  kevin can’t believe he’s willing to do that.  without even a second thought.  “carmen’s in georgia, anyway.  she’d love it.”

and kevin can’t really put into words how happy that makes him, that he won’t have to choose between dalton and his family, his chosen family.  so he tackles him into the mattress instead and lets dalton wrap his legs around his hips.

there’s only one problem left, and it’s been ringing in his head ever since he got new offers for the next season.

south carolina isn’t his highest offer.  the blackhawks renewal contract is, because they need him and because they know how valuable he is.  which is why kevin makes a call the next day.

“kevin day.  last time i spoke to you was in a car.  tell me, what did you do wrong?”

kevin’s heart is beating out of his chest.  “nothing.  i have a proposition, it has to do with my contract.”  when ichirou doesn’t answer he goes on.  “i know what you said about always accepting my highest offer, but at the moment south carolina is just below it and both neil josten and andrew minyard are signing to the team as well this season.  i’ve done the math and the press and publicity that would come of my transfer would ultimately boost my earnings higher than the blackhawks contract, which is why i’d like your permission to accept the offer to south carolina.”

he holds his breath.  it’s a full two minutes before ichirou answers.

“very well.”  and hangs up.

kevin sits stunned.  he pulls the phone away from his ear to make sure that really just happened, then looks to dalton sitting across from him at the table.  dalton raises a brow.

“i guess we’re moving?”

dalton grins.

dalton is more picky about house hunting than kevin would have expected.  apartments are different, and kevin wasn’t able to accompany him for that one.  he supposes he likes his decisiveness.  he knows what he- they want, had it in his notes on every tour.  he knows what’s practical.

there’s only a few things kevin knows he needs.  one or two spare bedrooms for when the foxes or the girls come by.  a big living room and kitchen, windows in every room, so that he doesn’t feel cramped and stuffed in.  after all, he’s still got a bit of claustrophobia left over from growing up in the dark.  literally.

he needs a yard big enough to do workouts and throw some balls around,  big enough for lilly to run around in.  kevin’s kind of excited to be living with a dog again, ever since the one summer he spent watching her.  they have the same amount of energy.

other than that, the rest is all dalton’s work.  they both have the same style, anyway.  kevin likes lavish, but he doesn’t want to live in it.  his apartment in new york is modern as all hell, but it’s never felt like a home.  the dorms?  they almost felt like home.  dalton’s house?  abby’s house?  those were homes.

kevin wants a big soft couch and a kitchen he’s not scared to get messy 24/7.  he wants to hang things on the wall, even though he doesn’t have many decorations he plans on bringing from new york.  the most of what he’s got are pictures from college.  framed photos of the team from their first championship win, a collage dalton made with pictures from graduations and banquets.  other than that, there’s no other decorations he cares to keep but a framed photoshopped diploma for “world’s okayest friend” from neil and andrew for his graduation.

anyway.

they do find somewhere, eventually.  they don’t have a ton of time, and they’re staying at abby’s while they search instead of traveling back and forth.  but they’re growing tired and honestly they feel like a burden on abby, even though they do their best to stay out of the way.

it isn’t until almost a month before preseason starts that dalton calls kevin on his way home from the gym.  “look at the link i sent you.”

so he does.  their realtor sent it to dalton barely seconds before he forwarded it to kevin.

it’s practically perfect.  and kevin’s got the money to spend, so the price doesn’t bother him.  he’d had to point that out to dalton more than once, every time they’d look at a place that seemed pricey he had to remind dalton that he had the money.  that he has more than he needs, even.

to paint a picture in your head:  it’s in a gated community, something else kevin really wanted out of paranoia now that he was going to be living with dalton.  he needed them safe.  needed him safe.

they walk in, and after a short hallway, the house opens up to the kitchen on the left and a big living room to the right.  a dining area sits past the kitchen and behind that, a sliding door to the backyard.

it’s all so bright.  

there’s three bedrooms upstairs including the master, and when kevin walks into the room he turns and holds his arms out.  “do i fit in?”

dalton grins.  “absolutely.”

they get the house.

kevin works some magic to get it sooner, and after they’re all moved in- though with a lot of work left, he leans against the garage.  dalton’s coming up the driveway after saying goodbye to matt and dan who had come along with wymack to help out.  kevin starts for him, and swipes him off his feet.  “hey!”  dalton laughs and clings his arms around kevin’s neck.

kevin carries him through the door.

dan sees it from the car as they drive away, and turns back forward.  “matthew, you didn’t carry me over the door when we moved in!”  she pinches his arm.

meanwhile, kevin tosses dalton onto the bed.  their bed.

dalton grabs his face and pulls him down.  “i love you, day.”

#kevin day #bisexual kevin day #kevin #OC: dalton miller #dalton miller #kevin day x dalton miller #the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is #exy #the foxhole court #david wymack #ichirou moriyama #dan wilds #matt boyd #palmetto state university #palmetto state foxes #the foxes #all for the game #aftg

[knockknockchicagopd]

A serie with Antonio Dawson. Chapter I.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1.3k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @anotherfan07 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

Neither of you complained when Voight asked you to be undercover as a couple, for a simple mission. Someone gave the tip-off of dirty cops dressed like plainclothes who used to deal drugs in clubs. Antonio and you should have to fake to be a drunk couple making out in the bathroom, where the deals used to be closed. He knows you work to perfection together and, out of the District, you're close friends, so it wasn't a problem for you.

Once Kevin and Ruzek have checked the camera installed in one of Antonio's buttons and you two have the earpieces, ready for the action, your partner offers you a fist to crash it with yours.

“Ready to be my girlfriend for a night?”

Raising both eyebrows, you look at him from top to bottom containing a laugh.

“What? Any girl would like it. I'ma good guy”. Pretending to sound offended, he squints at you.

“Do you really want me to break your heart?” You ask then, making reference that every woman he has been with, has left him.

“Low blow”.

“Still being the only one who stays”.

“That's why you're my best pal, and not my girlfriend”.

“Aw, you're afraid of losing me?” Making fun of him, you pull his cheeks shaking his head.

“Don't do that”. He chuckles pushing you away, before offering you his hand. “Ready, princesa?”

“Let's go”.

Stepping out from the VIP zone and going downstairs, you mingle with the people on the dance floor. The music is too loud for you, feeling a little annoyed, while letting Antonio bring you to the bar so you can have a look at your surroundings. You have seen the pictures of the cops, but it's too dark to focus on the faces around you. Although, this is why the Unit is outside checking the club through the cameras, isn't it? Technically, you only have to wait for Voight's alert to go to the bathroom.

Almost bending over the bar with both arms rested on, you wait for the bartender to be attended, feeling Antonio placing himself behind you and landing his hands on your hips. Kissing your bare shoulder, he puts his chin over it watching the people behind your positions through the mirror in front of you.

“Anything?” You whisper loud enough to be heard only by him.

“Not yet”.

“What can I serve you?” The bartender pushes you out of your thoughts about Antonio's fingers caressing your waist, showing him a soft smile.

“Two beers, please”. You reply leaning on your tiptoes for a second.

While your partner pays the drinks, you grab them turning around to continue watching the assistants, without looking too suspicious. With an arm on your shoulders and a beer less in your hands, Antonio guides you to a corner of the club from where you can have a better look of it. Being undercover is one of the things that you like the most about your job, but you're not going to lie; starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation of exceeding the limit between him and you. At first, you didn't care. Antonio and you are very cuddly with each other, but knowing that your Unit is monitoring every second makes it somewhat awkward.

Having a sip from your beer, you turn at him placing your hands on his shoulders, feigning that you're just having a good time dancing on a given night. It isn't the first time you hang out alone, but not in this manner, and you sure he can feel it.

“Relax”. Antonio murmurs into your ear, pushing you close to move his body in sync with yours.

“I'm relaxed”. You lie chuckling and licking your bottom lip, tossing your head back looking for his incredulous eyes. “I am!”

“Sure”. He teases you by pinching your nose and making you laugh louder.

“After the mission, we're gonna book you a hotel room, no worries”. Jay's voice makes your cheek burn in shame, as your partner chokes on his beer.

“Intelligence pays”. Now, it's your boss who is speaking almost causing you a heart attack.

Antonio puckers his lips as if he's agreeing, drawing a funny gesture on his face.

“Breakfast in bed?”

“You can't eat breakfast, if you don't have tee—”.

“Cops at your six. Black jeans, brown jackets. Military boots”. Adam informs, knowing it's time to go to the bathroom.

Leaving the beers away on a coffee table, Antonio tangles his hands with yours to guide you through the crowd, straight to the place you've installed another camera to record the mission. As you come closer, the pressure in your chest becomes heavier, and you can feel him nervous by the way his fingers move around yours. Taking a last look of the plainclothes officers, you walk into the bathroom.

At your right there are four cubicles, in front of the sinks and the mirrors. All emptied. Antonio makes you a sign with his chin before continuing to the marble counter, between the second and the third sink. Sitting on and placing your purse by a side, your partner settles himself between your legs and puts his hand on your lower back.

“I'm too sober for this shit”.

“Stop complaining, you're enjoying it”. He scoffs clicking his tongue.

“Yeah… sure I'm the only one…”

“Alert. They're coming in three… two… one…” Before Jay can say zero, the door gets opened.

You don't see them, rushing to crash your mouth on Antonio's. From the very first moment, your lips move in total sync as if they were dancing passionately, when you feel the click in your guts. His arms pushes you somewhat closer, shortening the distance between your bodies with the same necessity it's running under your skin. There's no way back, and you two know it.

“Get outta here. Now”. You hear, breaking the kiss breathlessly to turn at your partners from another district, accompanied by two unknown guys.

“Man, I've paid for her five drinks. I ain't going anywhere till this bitch sucks my dick”.

You can't believe his words, nor the tone of voice he's using, letting go a nervous laugh palming his chest and pushing him away softly to put down on your heels.

“No worries, boys. Do your thing, and we'll do ours”.

Grabbing Antonio's shirt in a fist, you take him to the cubicle in front of you trying to feign to be drunk enough, closing the door behind your backs. You can't help but cross your arms over your chest, tilting your head with both eyebrows frowned.

“It was part of the plan”. Antonio tries to excuse himself, just moving his lips without uttering any noise to not arouse suspicion. “Sorry”.

“You called me bitch”.

The man waves his hands desperately to make you understand, earning a snort from you before starting to hear the deal happening some feet away from you. A simple one. Heroin and money. You can't even believe they can be this stupid, making you roll your eyes under Antonio's attentive and funny look.

“Shouldn't you be on your knees?”

Squinting as you lick your lips, with that kind of gesture that warns him that maybe he's going to be punched on the face, your partner lifts up both hands to defend his innocence again containing a laugh.

“Oh, fuck… You're so good”. You fake a loud moan, having so much fun when you see Antonio taking a step back, starting to blush.

It has been so real he's scared. Raising both eyebrows, you can't help but draw a petty smile on your mouth. The reddening of his cheeks enraptured you for a second, till you hear how the deal is closed, being the go-ahead to complete your mission. Grabbing the gun inside your purse and throwing it to the floor, you suddenly open the door in position and pointing at them.

“Chicago P.D.! Don't move! Hands on the head! Put your hands on the head!” You shout stepping out from the cubicle, followed by Antonio ready to help you containing them till the squad arrives.

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ⚡ #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #antonio dawson #antonio dawson imagine #antonio dawson x reader

[lost-in-the-80s]

You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 7

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,899k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In this chapter:  Late night talks on the bus can sometimes be your best friend. The band goes to a Scottish pub, but what happens when you mix love with beer? 

A/N: The only thing I can say after finishing this chapter is that I want Duff McKagan in my life! Enjoy… (new chapters every Tuesday)

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid @metalheartofgold @ginny-rose-sixx @rumoured-whispers @vinylvintage @metalupyourash ​ add yourself to my tag list :)

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Where’s my vodka?” Duff asked, searching inside the cabinets in the dressing room.

“Duff, don’t you think you’ve had enough for a day?” Y/N asked, concerned, he had drank a bottle already.

“Relax, sweetheart, I’ll be fine, I just want to ease my nerves....” He opened the last door, grinning widely. “Here it is!”

He placed the bottle on the top of the table, searching for a new plastic glass.

Y/N reached forward, grabbing the bottle just when Duff placed a glass beside it.

“Y/N, let go of the vodka, please.” He looked into her eyes, his tone was serious but his eyes had a glimpse that she couldn’t quite identify.

“No.” She took the bottle away from the table.

“Y/N…” He prolonged her name. “You don’t want me to go there and pick it, right?” He smirked, the glimpse in his eyes getting intensified, allowing her to identify it - mischief.

He started walking slowly towards her, while she started backing off.

“Y/N…” He said it again but she sprinted off the room, running through the corridors with him chasing her. 

At some points he almost got her, but there was always someone passing by that could be used as an obstacle. 

She grinned seeing the exit door at the end of the hallway. Pushing the door open, she met with bright sunshine. Looking back she couldn’t see Duff, she started moving backward slowly, facing the door trying to see any sight of the blonde.

Y/N abruptly stopped when her back hit against something, or better, someone. 

Turning around slowly she found Duff, he moved his arms and she closed her eyes by instinct, opening them when she felt him circling her waist and pulling her closer. 

He pressed his lips against hers, in a sweet and slow kiss. Forgetting completely about the bottle, she reached behind his neck with her arms, dropping the bottle beside her and pulling him even closer.

The crackling sound made him smile in the kiss, before he slowly pulled away from her.

“You good?” He looked down to see if she hadn’t cut herself.

---

A strong glow accompanied by a deafening crash woke Y/N. Looking out of the window she could see the rays covering the sky as heavy rain hit the road.

Great, we're under a storm. She thought to herself.

Hitting her head against the pillow, she grunted, running her hands over her face. Obviously it was a dream, Y/N.

She even tried to sleep, but she never liked storms, even when she was a child, they always made her scared and alert, two things that made it impossible for her to fall asleep.

Looking for her slippers on the floor, she got up, walking slowly to the common area of ​​the bus, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with both hands.

Opening the door, her eyes locked on Duff’s. He was sitting in one corner of the couch with an acoustic guitar on his lap, the radio was turned on at a low volume, playing some band that she had never heard before.

They stared at each other for a few seconds under the bad lighting generated by the red emergency lamps on the bus, and her cheeks burned with embarrassment as she recalled the dream she had just had, internally hoping he wouldn't notice.

"Can't you sleep?"

"I don't like storms very much." She headed for the small kitchen on the bus, turning on the lamp in the wall cabinet. "I came to make tea to see if it helps."

"It's been raining for a while, but the lightning started a little ago."

"Haven't you gone to sleep yet?" She looked at the clock on the bus, 4:10 am.

"I wasn’t sleepy, too many thoughts in my head."

"I know how it is." She murmured. "Do you want tea?"

"No, thank you."

Silence washed over the room, and she turned to face the electric kettle, waiting for the water to boil.

Focusing on the ambient sounds, the beat of the music enveloped her ears and she realized that Duff was playing the same song on the guitar, but on notes so soft they could hardly be heard in the rain.

"Which band is this?" She turned to him.

“Ramones. They are from New York. ” He stopped playing, looking into her eyes.

"It looks like a movie soundtrack ... of those that play before an adventure scene."

He smiled at her words. “It’s a tape I made, they are my favorite songs of theirs. This is I Wanna Be Sedated.”

"It's a good song." She turned, taking the boiling water to finish her tea.

"Now you can't say that you've never heard anything punk." He said remembering the conversation they had had at the record store a few months ago.

"Is that punk?" She opened her eyes wide. "I thought it would be something worth scaring little children." She laughed a little.

"No, it's not like that." He giggled. “They were the first band, you know? They arrived at the label with this tape with several 2-minute songs and ended up revolutionizing rock ”

She smiled when she saw the sparkle in his eyes when he spoke.

"Do You Wanna Dance?" He said calmly and she choked on the tea.

"What!?"

He laughed. "The music." He pointed to the radio, she hadn't even noticed that another song was playing. "This is the last one of the tape."

"Well, I don't know if I would listen to them willingly, but they are good!" She sat on the same couch as him, leaving some space between them.

"I figured you’d like it." He smiled putting the guitar on the floor.

"Yeah, but you're not always right."

"What you mean?"

"Those Dead Kennedys suck!" She said laughing.

"Oh no!" He touched his chest. "You’re hurting me, Y/N!"

“Like… Drug Me? What song is that!?”

"Yeah, maybe I gave you the wrong band." He laughed, leaning his head against the wooden panel that blocked the bus ladder.

The tape came to an end and the bus went silent again, only the noise of rain and wind being noticeable.

"What now?" She pointed with her thumb at the radio.

"I'll let you choose something."

Standing up and adjusting her knit shorts, she walked over to the radio, turning the station knob until she found a song she liked, playing at a local station.

"Scorpions?" He frowned.

"Is that their name?" She asked laughing, returning to sit next to him, this time closer.

He laughed as he shook his head. "I think I'm going to have to give you some rock lessons."

"Only if I give you some pop lessons!" Y/N smiled.

He pursed his lips. "That makes it difficult."

She laughed at his response, but then I Want To Know What Love Is started playing and she went silent with embarrassment, afraid that Duff would realize that the song represented exactly how she felt.

“So, where are you from?” She looked at him, trying desperately to initiate some conversation that could take her mind away from the song. 

“Seattle. Born and raised there.” He smiled.

“Just you or you have siblings?” 

“I have seven older siblings.”

“Wow! God bless your mom!” She widened her eyes.

“She’s a good woman. She would like you.” 

Y/N looked down, trying to cover the smile that formed on her lips.

“What about you? Any siblings?”

“I have one brother. He’s five years younger.” 

“The two of you get along well?” 

She yawned, the tea finally bringing sleep back to her. "Most of the time. He's a good boy. Started in college last year. ” A small smile formed on her lips.

“What’s his name?”

"Kevin." She placed the cup on the coffee table, resting her head against the back of the couch. "The nickname is Kenny." She closed her eyes, trying to fight sleep.

"I bet he’s very proud to be your brother." Duff said, looking at her closely and realizing that she was almost asleep.

"Yeah, maybe." She murmured.

After a few seconds of not moving, Duff called her name, but got no answer. She had slept.

He laughed softly, stretching his long legs on the coffee table, pulling Y/N to lie against his chest. She looked so small in that big sweater.

She moved a little while still sleeping, finding a comfortable position for her head right over his heart.

Duff wrapped his arms around her, gently kissing the top of her head. "Good night, Y/N."

And the sleep that had disappeared, finally came, if the cause of it was the sun coming up or the smell of her perfume? He couldn't say. But he closed his eyes, sighing deeply, allowing himself to sleep.

---

"Awn, look at them!" Steven said excitedly.

"Shut up, you're going to wake them up!" Axl replied.

"And isn't that the intention, idiot?" Slash asked, slapping the back of Axl's head.

Slowly, Duff started to open his eyes, all four were standing in front of him. Looking down, Duff saw her sleeping, she looked so peaceful, her hand was on his chest and her lips were slightly parted.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Izzy said, smirking.

Looking at the watch, he saw that it was 9:30 in the morning.

"We stopped for breakfast." Axl said, throwing a leather jacket over his shoulder before getting off the bus, being accompanied by Izzy.

"You guys look so cute together!" Steven exclaimed and Y/N moved a little.

Slash started pushing Steven lightly by the shoulders off the bus, leaving Duff and Y/N there.

She started to open her eyes slowly and Duff removed some hair from her face.

"Hey, good morning." He said in a soft voice.

Hearing Duff's voice she got up quickly, sitting on the couch and looking around, finally realizing that she had slept with him, or on him.

"My goodness! I'm sorry, Duff! Wow, I fucked up big this time!” She ran her hands through her hair, trying to untangle it, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"It's alright."

She kept looking ahead, so he touched her chin, gently turning her face to him. "It's alright." He smiled gently.

Slowly, Y/N nodded.

"Axl said we stopped for breakfast."

"Oh my God, did he see me like that?" She covered her mouth with her hand.

"Everyone saw it, but relax, they don't care." He smiled trying to comfort her.

"You coming?" He asked getting up, ducking his head so he wouldn't hit the ceiling.

“I'm going to change first. I'll be there in a few minutes. ” She smiled slightly.

Duff nodded and left the bus.

"Oh. My. God." She said slowly. The thought of spending the night in Duff's arms made a smile come over her lips as she slowly walked over to her suitcase, still not believing what had happened.

Wearing the first jeans she found, she kept her sweater on, brushing her teeth quickly and heading toward the cafe.

Sitting next to Slash and Axl, she asked for coffee with pancakes, avoiding the look in the boys' eyes.

"So Duff, did you sleep well?" Axl asked, smirking, making Slash nudge him.

"Yes, I did." Duff tried to be casual, but there was no way to make the situation any less embarrassing.

"Y/N." Izzy's voice made her look at him, hoping it wasn't another joke. "The driver said that we’ll get to Edinburgh in the early afternoon, do we have anything to do today?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "No, today is a free day."

Izzy nodded, turning his attention to the coffee.

"I want to go to a pub tonight." Slash announced.

"Hell yeah!" Duff agreed, high fiving the friend over the table.

"You know what, I'm going with you!" Axl announced, leaning against the chair.

“I think we could all use a night of fun. Izzy? Y/N? What do you say? ” Steven said, his eyes sparkling with the idea.

"Maybe." Izzy said without taking his eyes off the newspaper he was reading.

Steven looked at her hopefully.

"Why not?" She brought a piece of the pancake to her mouth.

"I think the night is going to be good!" Slash said smiling.

“8 o'clock, in the hotel lobby? What do you say?" Axl asked, receiving confirmation from each of them.

---

For the rest of the day she found a book in her suitcase, sitting near the bus window and listening to a tape of The Rolling Stones that Izzy had loaned her.

As much as her eyes were on the book, her mind wandered freely about the night before. Recalling how his skin glowed with the thin red light, how relaxed he looked and how soft his voice was when he spoke to her.

He had become the first good memory during a storm. And to be honest, she had even forgotten that it was raining when she was with him.

Around two in the afternoon they arrived in Edinburgh. Checking in and choosing a coat, she went out for lunch, meeting Slash in the hotel lobby, the two of them decided to have lunch together, walking quietly through the city streets.

“How was your night, Y/N? Sleep well?" Slash asked, smirking.

"Oh no! You too!?" She crossed her arms.

"Relax, I'm just bugging you." He laughed. "But you were so cute cuddling together this morning." He smiled, mocking her.

She pushed him lightly by the shoulder. "You will never let me forget this, will you?"

"Nope!" He smiled proudly and she rolled her eyes, not holding herself and giving a small smile.

After placing their orders, the two sat at a table by the window.

Looking at the gray sky and the cold wind that hit the streets, she sighed. "I wanted to go with a skirt tonight, but I think it's too cold for that."

“We are going to drink! You won't even know what's cold after the third beer.”

She pursed her lips, making them a thin line. "Yeah, that worries me too."

"Why?"

"Let's say I get drunk very quickly." She gave a nasal laugh as she remembered the last Christmas party, when she had a few glasses of punch she ended up sleeping in the middle of the party.

“Relax, we'll be with you. We take care of each other. ” He offered her a smile and then the two started eating, remaining in comfortable silence, except for some comments about the food here and there.

After returning to the hotel, Y/N found herself without much to do. She reorganized her bags, watched MTV and even danced when some music she liked was playing on television.

When the clock struck 7, she took a shower, drying her hair with the hotel dryer and applying light makeup. Searching among her clothes she chose a white and black skirt that she combined with a black long-sleeved blouse and long black boots. Wearing a long black coat and applying perfume, she left the room, heading for the lobby.

After a few minutes, everyone arrived and together they took two taxis towards a famous pub in the city.

Sitting at a table at the back of the establishment, “Beer Night” began, as Axl decided to call it.

The place was poorly lit, there were dark wooden tables matching chairs with red upholstery. The walls were exposed brick and there were some decorative pictures scattered around.

To her right, Y/N could see a tall counter, behind it were several craft beer machines, as well as a variety of other drinks like whiskey and liquor on shelves on the wall.

Choosing a round table in the corner of the establishment, Y/N sat down between Duff and Axl, widening his eyes when a big glass mug full of beer was placed in front of her.

"Am I supposed to drink all of this?" She pointed to the mug, looking at the boys.

"Relax, there's food to go with it." Axl told her, and then two servings of appetizers were placed in the center of the table.

When the second round of beer arrived, Y/N was already more than dizzy, she found everything funny, while the boys started talking louder and louder.

"Tell her how you broke your hand, Popcorn!" Duff said laughing, his arm was supported on the back of her chair.

"Oh no!" He ran a hand over his face, shaking his head.

"Come on! I want to know!!" She prolonged the last word by making puppy eyes.

“Okay… It was just a few weeks before the tour started, I was leaving this bar and a guy and I got into a fistfight. As you can imagine, I was not very sober, I tried to punch the guy, ended up slipping and hitting my fist against a street lamp.”

Everyone at the table laughed at the incident, Axl even put his hand on his belly to try to relieve the pain that formed in his abdomen thanks to his laughter.

Two mugs and many excuses to go to the bathroom later, they decided to go to the hotel. To be fair they didn’t decide to go to the hotel, in fact, the owner of the pub expelled them saying that it was closing time.

It was funny to see the man getting mad, none of the six were used to the Scottish accent, understanding what he was saying became even more difficult with all the beer they had had.

The last thing Y/N heard was the man growling "Fucking cunts!" before slamming the door behind them.

To be fair, it took them 15 minutes to get out of there, drinking the rest of the beer from the mugs and laughing at his accent. So she understood why he was so angry.

Stumbling to get into a taxi with Duff and Izzy, Y/N found herself leaning against the blonde's side, who put his arm over her shoulders.

"Your hair is so beautiful." She laughed, touching his hair.

"You are beautiful." He replied smiling.

She laughed again, laying her head on his shoulder, rubbing her nose against the skin of the blonde's neck. "I love your smell." She whispered and it was the last thing she saw before everything became black.

"Y/N! ... Y/N, we're here!" She opened her eyes, realizing that the taxi had parked in front of the hotel, Izzy had already left and Duff was waiting for her.

"Hum? Are we here yet? ” Her voice was drunk, skidding on every word.

"Yes, love." He smiled, getting out of the car and waiting for her.

Stumbling on the sidewalk step, Duff caught her, laughing.

"Damn boots!" She murmured, breaking free of Duff's arms and sitting on the floor in the middle of the sidewalk.

"What is she doing?" Slash asked in a slurred voice.

"Taking off her boots." Duff said. The two looked at each other and started laughing.

Trying to get up, she realized that it was a more difficult task than she imagined, as she fell down sitting again.

"Ouch ... I can't get up." She complained.

Rolling his eyes, Axl pulled her by the hands, helping her to her feet.

Analyzing the situation from the outside, it was clear that Axl and Duff were the two most sober people there, as far as possible, of course.

"Where's Izzy?" Axl asked Duff.

"He's already in." He pointed to the hotel door.

"Okay, take the lady “I can't stand up” to her room while I take care of these two."

Duff nodded, putting an arm around her waist, guiding her into the hotel.

Standing in front of the elevators, Y/N looked at Steven, he was already looking at her.

"What?" She asked.

"What?" He frowned and they both started laughing again.

Duff's elevator opened the doors and he entered, taking the girl with him.

"Good night boys. I love you!" She said in her slurred voice, but the doors closed before she could receive an answer.

Stopping in front of her bedroom door, she took a few seconds to find the lock, turning around abruptly before opening the door, facing Duff.

One of his arms was propped against the doorframe, making him only inches away from her.

“Can’t you open it? ” He asked.

"I already opened it." She smiled victoriously, leaning her head against the door and tilting her chin to stare into his eyes.

"What is it then?" 

"I want you to kiss me." She whispered, moving her face close to his.

"Y/N." He prolonged her name in a warning tone.

"Please." She sighed, standing on her tiptoes.

Slowly, Duff leaned his head down and she closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss, but it never came.

Opening her eyes again, she found two brownish-green orbs staring at her.

"Not like this, you’re drunk." He said in a low voice. "Can you handle yourself or do you need help with anything else?" He pulled away from her, clearing his throat.

"I can handle it." She said looking down, unable to hide her disappointment. "Good night Duff." Entering the room she closed the door before he could respond to her words.

---

The next morning, Y/N woke up to a loud noise echoing in the room. Opening her eyes, it took her several seconds to realize it was the phone.

She frowned when a severe headache hit her as soon as she stepped out of bed.

"Hello?" Her voice was slurred with sleep.

"Good morning Y/N." It was Tom, he had traveled the week before. The initial plans were for him to accompany the band for at least three months, but an unforeseen event with a band in the United States made him rush back.

"Good morning, Tom." She rubbed her eyes, lying back on the bed.

"How is it going?"

“Everything is going ok. The boys are behaving, just the usual delays and problems” She said referring to drugs and drinking.

"Good to know, because I’ll need you to take care of everything for a few more weeks."

"What happened?"

“It is difficult to explain over the phone, many things have not gone as planned and they are about to lose their contract. I will have to stay longer. ”

"Ah, yes ... I understand."

"Call me if something serious happens, and if they start to get out of control let me know and I'll get someone to help you."

"Alright, and don’t worry, I’ll warn you if something happens. ”

"Right." She could hear the sound of something metallic falling on the floor. “Sorry, I have to go. Take care, Y/N. ”

"You too, Tom." She hung up the phone, realizing it was 11 am, the soundcheck would start in a few hours.

Closing her eyes, flashes from last night hit her, fast like lightning. A dark-haired man yelling at them, Duff waking her up in the taxi and her taking off her boots on the sidewalk.

She couldn't remember entering the hotel, much less arriving in her room. Looking around she saw her clothes from the night before scattered on the floor, all except the shirt she was wearing. Her hair smelled like a mixture of cigarettes, shampoo and beer and she noticed that she had broken a nail.

"What the hell happened last night?"

#harley writes #you don't want my love #duff mckagan #duff mckagan fic #duff mckagan fanfic #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan x reader #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses fic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses x reader #gnr #gnr imagine #classic rock #classic rock imagine

[babysubinnie]

the last // jacob bae

👍 pairing:: jacob bae x reader 👍 genre:: fluff, angst 👍 summary:: criminal!jacob was the sweetest man alive, once you found out why you never went out for dates, your relationship was on the line. when you started helping jacob, there was one thing that the boys were hiding from you, the last mission.

a/n:: this is going to be a long one so beware but i’m really proud of this,, it’s inspired by the series money heist but not really cuz i just got some of the ideas for this. 

DISCLAIMER:: this is a fanfiction not real life so i’m not saying that the boyz are in any way like this. 

——————————————————————————

“JACOB! JACOB NO! PLEASE.” my arms were being held back by sangyeon and juyeon, i wasn’t even half as strong as the two of them. all i could do is scream. there was nothing i could do, i was stuck in this one spot. he was really going to leave me. i couldn’t go to jail for him, i couldn’t even say bye to him. i couldn’t even look at him because tears kept filling my eyes. 

“let me at least say goodbye to her.” they turned around with his hands still behind his back. he walked up to me with tears down his face so fast that his eyes were bright red. 

“i love you so much y/n. i promise i will be back, we’ll get married and have kids especially because you love kids so much. i just hope that you won’t be married to some other asshole when i get out. come visit me okay? i love you so damn much. kevin, protect her with your life. kill if you have to.” he rested his forehead against mine then pressing his lips to mine. i just wanted him to hold my face in his hands, in his arms. just one more time. he laughed with kevin for a second before his laugh dropped. i couldn’t breath. this is not ending this fast. it can’t. 

                                             ~~

he didn’t look like he was the most wanted man in korea. he didn’t look like he would kill anyone, not even a fly. i mean he looked like a fucking angel. look at him, he was always smiling, he was quiet, and got along with everyone.

“hi y/n~” the most important thing was, he sounded like an angel. he was my boyfriend, i needed to say something or it would eat at me if i didn’t. 

“hi jacob.” i stood up from the couch looking down playing with my fingers as he ran up to me lifting my chin pressing his lips to mine. i pulled away from him abruptly standing up to lean against the wall facing him. he turned around tilting his head to the side, walking up to me with his hands to the side putting his hands on my hips. 

“what’s wrong?” he pulled me close to him so that our chests were touching. he knew my weaknesses, very well. almost too well. one grip of my waist, one hug with his head resting in the crook of my neck, and i’d do anything for him. 

“j-jacob.” i took a deep breath but still managed to stutter through the one word that was said. he laughed rolling his eyes gripping his hand into my hip. i melted at the sound of his laugh. 

“let me guess. you know that i’m the man that everyone is looking for.” he whispered into my ear pushing my hips up against the wall. i threw my head back wincing in pain which then he responded by kissing my lips. 

“i’m sorry baby.” he laughed waiting for my response. i stuttered a few uhm’s and uh’s but then i finally decided what to do. i pushed him off walking away from him which then he grabbed my wrist without even turning around to look. 

“why didn’t you tell me jacob?” i turned around flicking his hand off my wrist. the more time i took to get words out of my mouth, the more time it gave me to get so pissed off i couldn’t even think. 

“it didn’t matter because i fell in love with you. i love you, i’m not going to just tell you something that would make you leave me.” he shook his head. for the first time, i saw a glimmer of tears in jacob’s eyes. i scoffed shaking my head before tears came flowing down my face, that i didn’t even notice. i wiped my tears readying myself for what i was about to say that even i wasn’t ready to. 

“i’m sorry. i can’t do this. i’m too scared.” i shook my head pursing my lips together. i couldn’t even believe what i was about to say, am i really about to break up with the love of my life that i searched my whole life for?

“no you’re not. you’re not going to break up with me. y/n, i will protect you. with my fucking life. i’m not going to let anything happen to you.” he shook his head putting both of his hands on my cheeks caressing my cheeks softly. i bit my lip looking down because jacob always knew what he was doing, and how to make me fall in love with him all over again.

“i don’t know.” i shook my head biting my lip breathing hard. i needed someone to help me make a decision because i didn’t know what to do. do i stay with jacob or do i leave him?

“stay with me please. i need you. without you, i don’t know what i’m capable of doing. i’m too scared to find out.” that was what hit me the hardest. now, of course i’m going to stay with him. he was my angel. always and forever no matter what was going to happen to the two of us. i nodded while he pulled me into a hug with his head in the crook of my neck. for the next hour, we stood there crying without letting each other go. he kept repeating that he loved me, so did i. 

about a month later, i got used to the fact that we were always running from the police. i even became one of his assistants, i did a whole bunch of things that most of his people didn’t want to do. i stole things, and threatened people, i mean the usual things. 

“i have something we need to do but it’s really risky. will you be able to do it?” jacob put his hand behind my neck pulling me in a kiss before he asked me. i rolled my eyes putting my arms around his neck laughing leaning in to whisper against his lips. 

“will i? i have you to protect me don’t i?” i laughed shaking my head kissing him. i heard footsteps so i turned to the side to see that all the boys were rolling their eyes while putting bullets into their guns. 

“yes of course you do babe.” he shrugged taking my hand. we walked over to the weapons room which then he handed me a gun, where i put into my holster which was already around my shoulders. 

for the entire mission jacob was by my side, but the one thing he didn’t tell me, was that this battle was going to be very close to the police. another thing he didn’t tell me, that he was going to sacrifice himself for me. 

“on the ground hands up. now.”  i was being pulled away by sunwoo and kevin while jacob was now on the ground with his hands behind his back in handcuffs. before he was completely out of sight, he mouthed a quick i love you before i couldn’t see him. 

this is not ending like this. i’m not letting it happen. i pushed kevin and sunwoo off me and ran back to where jacob was arrested and he was being put into the car. i shook my head starting to scream his name at the top of my lungs. 

“Y/N NO!” i heard sangyeon call my name, but i didn’t care. i’m not letting jacob go this easily. 

“JACOB!” i screamed his name until i couldn’t even speak in a normal voice. my voice was hoarse already and that was when they let jacob turn around to say goodbye to me. 

“JACOB! JACOB NO! PLEASE.” my arms were being held back by sangyeon and juyeon, i wasn’t even half as strong as the two of them. all i could do is scream. there was nothing i could do, i was stuck in this one spot. he was really going to leave me. i couldn’t go to jail for him, i couldn’t even say bye to him. i couldn’t even look at him because tears kept filling my eyes.

“let me at least say goodbye to her.” they turned around with his hands still behind his back. he walked up to me with tears down his face so fast that his eyes were bright red.

“i love you so much y/n. i promise i will be back, we’ll get married and have kids especially because you love kids so much. i just hope that you won’t be married to some other asshole when i get out. come visit me okay? i love you so damn much. kevin, protect her with your life. kill if you have to.” he rested his forehead against mine then pressing his lips to mine. i just wanted him to hold my face in his hands, in his arms. just one more time. he laughed with kevin for a second before his laugh dropped. i couldn’t breath. this is not ending this fast. it can’t.

“you can’t do this. i will get you out. i promise.” i threw my arms around his neck hugging him so tight that i knew he was having trouble breathing. i pulled away from him and started brushing my hand through his hair. 

“i love you.” 

#jacob #jacob bae #the boyz #the boyz imagines #the boyz fluff #the boyz smut #the boyz scenarios #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop angst #lee sangyeon #sangyeon #lee juyeon #juyeon #kevin moon #kevin #choi chanhee #chanhee #new #ji changmin #q #ju haknyeon #kim sunwoo #sunwoo #eric sohn #eric

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 37: Vancouver

WORD COUNT: 5.1K 

A/N: haha three ch in under a week? love that for me

TAGS: @madamsixx @nosebleedblitz​

@emariehorror​

WARNINGS: none

Read On Ao3

Previous/Next

February 5th, 1988

Tucson, Arizona

Nikki popped his bubblegum, resting his leg across his other to get comfortable in the dark green armchair. He waited patiently in the therapy office, looking out the wall-to-ceiling window to the Arizona desert. The sound of the door opening made Nikki's head turn, the on-edge feeling turning into a relaxed emotion.

"Sorry I'm late, Nikki. I had run into a colleague for a minute," said the Dr. grabbing his notebook from his desk.

"It's okay, Ortiz. Felt nice to think of what to say before we started," politely said Nikki, spitting his gum out onto a tissue.

"Good. It's always best to think before rambling during an appointment. Gets all the bases," said Dr. Ortiz, sitting down in front of Nikki. He clipped his pen and wrote down the date on his notes for Nikki. "So, how have we been feeling personally?"

"My mood has been good. I haven't tanked and felt depressed. It feels great to say that. I really haven't felt depressed since being here," said Nikki, scoffing at the fact of being healthy working out for him.  

"Well done then. According to my notes here, you had a group therapy session a couple of days ago with a guest? Is that correct?" asked Dr. Ortiz. Nikki nodded. "And how was it seeing a familiar face for the first time since admitting yourself into rehab?"

"I was happy, then I was scared. Scared and happy at the same time. I don't know how anyone can have those feelings together, but I did," said Nikki, rubbing his hands together, Sammi's face popping in his head.

"Why were you scared?" asked Dr. Ortiz, ready to write down what Nikki was about to say.

"Sammi and I didn't leave on the greatest terms in California. When I saw her, I was scared of what she would say about being around me when I was doing heroin,"

"And how did you feel in the end after she expressed her feelings?"

"Sad… I really didn't realize how horrible Sammi felt about everything from the moment I started. It never crossed my mind the conversation we had when we broke up. I don't want to hurt her like that ever again," said Nikki, continuing to rub his hands together.

"While it may have been a terrible feeling to hear to her side of the abuse, it helps make you a better person living a sober life and get rid of the fear,"

"What if I'm still scared of being sober?" asked Nikki, looking down at his feet

"And what is it that you're scared of exactly?"

Nikki sighed, rubbing his hands on his pants. "What if I'm a terrible boyfriend to her being sober? That's what I'm scared about,"

Dr. Ortiz is taken aback but almost lets out a chuckle. "Why would you believe you'd make a terrible boyfriend? You seemed like a great man to her and only her. Even with your troubles from all of our sessions. So why worry when you'd be healthy?"

"Because I've never been with someone I love without some kind of 'help,'" said Nikki, blushing from saying the L-word. "I've always been under the influence even to a small extent with Sammi because I needed it. Without drugs I'm a timid man who wants to be with the smartest girl he ever met," sighed Nikki. "That's why I'm scared,"

Dr. Ortiz takes a second to think before speaking, ready to talk man to man. "Nikki, I'm not going to be speaking in a way of a therapist but how a normal married man would. If Sammi dealt and stuck around long enough when you had your shit, then what makes you think she's not going to love Sober Nikki?" asked Dr. Ortiz, narrowing his eyes at Nikki.

"But she blamed herself for me dying…"

"And that is when you act like a man and treat her like the queen she is to you. Understood?" Nikki only nodded. "Very good. It's going to be a learning curve but hiding isn't going to work out,"

June 3rd, 1988

San Francisco, California

Boxes upon boxes were scattered among the small place that was now Sammi's old apartment, ready to be filled with every single little thing she can take home. Sammi kneeled in front of one labeled 'photos' as Emma and Sabrina were graciously beside her, putting other things in different boxes. Sabrina organized all of Sammi's books while Emma took the time for her snack break.

"Thanks for the help you two, even if Emma's been eating the whole time," said Sammi, smiling over at Emma in the middle.

"Your kitchen is empty for your information thanks to me so you're welcome," said Emma with a mouth full of banana, Sabrina shaking her head playfully.

"Why thank you, Emma. Is it still hard to believe I'm finally done with school? No more having to deal with grades,"

"Tell me about it. I'm starting to miss it already and I'm only taking a year off," said Sabrina, reading the back of one book.

"Yeah yeah we get it. You two are done with college while my ass is still going to classes," said Emma, pouting.

"Awe you'll be fine," said Sabrina, pinching Emma's cheeks. "Just one more year and then you'll be free to your heart's content," The three girls chuckled along, Sammi continuing to pack her belongings on the living room floor.

"Hey Sam, I have a question," said Emma.

"Shoot,"

"Do you have any regrets moving over by yourself? I'm starting to think about what I wanna do when I graduate,"

"You're gonna leave me and move away?" asked Sabrina, raising an eyebrow.

"You're gonna leave us?" corrected Sammi.

Emma giggled at the two. "No, I'm not moving out just yet. I just want to know what it's like here since it's the 'gay mecca'. I have to be with the lesbians at some point," joked Emma.

Sammi stared into the distance for a moment, pursing her lips as she thought about the question, "Yeah I actually do. I wish I never moved here,"

"What? Why?" asked Emma, scrunching her brows together.

"Think about it. I didn't make any friends here. I only met rude and miserable people when I had the chance to make friends. All I have are bad memories. Me leaving didn't do any good back home with Nikki, leading to another fight with Vince. I should've just stayed in L.A,"

"Damn I never thought about it that way," said Sabrina.

"Me neither," added Emma.

"If I stayed then maybe I wouldn't have any awkward tension between Vince and now Nikki. Maybe we'd all be living under one roof. It's just something I think about," said Sammi, looking down at the scattered photos.

"Well hey, who needs friends when you have us," said Emma, swinging an arm around Sabrina to pull her into their side. Sammi only smiled at the two with a sweet chuckle before going back to finishing the last of the photos, taping the box shut.

"You do have multiple points. Speaking of which, how are the guys since getting out of rehab?" asked Sabrina.

"They are currently in Canada working on a new album, so that's always good. Tommy, Mick, and Vince left in April. I would say they're doing great since being out. Tommy was a big help going apartment hunting with me," said Sammi.

"What about Nik?" asked Emma.

Sammi sighed. "He went straight to Canada after being released. I haven't heard from him since that therapy session," said Sammi, lowering her eyes from Emma and Sabrina. They could see the change in Sammi's face. Even if she didn't say it loud, the girls knew Sammi missed Nikki.

"You should just go visit them," suggested Emma. "I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the biggest shock in the world to the guys,"

"Yeah but this isn't a tour date. They're  working this time, and I don't want to be a nuisance,"

"You seriously don't think Heather or whoever is dating Vince doesn't barge in when they record back home?" asked Sabrina.

Sammi did shrug a shoulder in acknowledgment until something clicked in her head. "Wait I just remembered Mick said I could visit,"

"Then go!" shouted Emma and Sabrina in unison.

"Fine! Fine! I'll make some calls after we're home and I'm somewhat settled," said Sammi, standing up on her feet and walking to see what needed to be packed in parts of her bedroom.

June 14th, 1988

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

For being summer in Canada, the country proved to be the coldest place Sammi has ever visited, needing to wear her warmest leather jacket for the trip. She was quick to learn Vancouver was a calm city with still enough action going around. Sammi made a mental note to come back whenever L. A got too hot for her.

With the help of Doc setting Sammi up in Canada, it didn't take any time to find the recording studio Motley was working at. Sammi walked straight into the two-story building, hands in her pocket as she looked at the wooden interior. She stood right in the middle of the lobby where no one occupied the front desk, surprised by the quiet. The sound of steps walking down the stairs caused Sammi to turn on her heels, facing a young man with papers in his hand.

"Uh hey!" said Sammi, smiling politely at the young man.

"Hi… um who are you?" asked the skinny young man, walking down the last steps with hesitation.

"I'm Sammi, sorry to just pop in like this," said Sammi, extending out a hand.

"Like the name. I'm Kevin," said Kevin, shaking Sammi's hand. "What can I help you with?"

"Well I was wondering if Motley Crue was here right now. I'm Tommy's little sister," said Sammi, fixing the strap of her purse.

"Oh yeah they're upstairs with their producer right now. Did they know you were coming?" asked Kevin.

"No, I wanted to surprise them. It's been kind of boring back in California," smiled Sammi to hopefully let Kevin lead her to the boys.

"Well…" said Kevin, looking up the stairs and back at Sammi. "I know their producer Bob might not like you being here but I do know you're pretty special to the guys,"

"Yeah, the guys and I are pretty tight,"

"Alright then come with me," said Kevin, leading Sammi up the stairs. Kevin led Sammi through a spacious long hallway, knocking on the second door to their right. He peeked his head inside once, opening the door slightly. "Um, sir, the boys have a visitor,"

"I said no visitors. These four don't need any female distractions," said Bob in a deep and intimidating voice. Sammi almost regretted surprising the boys if they had this man working with them.

"It's Tommy's sister Sammi, sir,"

"Sammi!" yelled Tommy, Sammi hearing his steps rush out the door. Tommy swung the door open and, in one quick movement, engulfed Sammi in a tight hug, lifting her up in the air. "I've missed you!"

"It's only been 2 months!" giggled Sammi.

"I don't care, I miss you!" said Tommy, placing Sammi down on her feet. Before Sammi could say anything, she soon noticed Nikki right behind Tommy, almost in hiding. Nikki sheepishly had his hand in the back of his jean pockets and a slight smile on his lips.

"Hey, Sammi," uttered Nikki, stepping closer to Sammi. Sammi couldn't keep her eyes off Nikki, first noting every single new thing about the man. He had more tattoos all down his arm of what appeared to be Japanese artwork. It complimented his now bigger biceps and toned body, seeing Nikki's pecs through his shirt. Tommy could see the shock and plan to gawk on Sammi's face, finding it downright humorous.

When Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, Sammi blinked rapidly and cracked a smirk. "Wow. You look…" lingered Sammi.

"Different?" blushed Nikki.

"I was going to say great. You look great with your new look," smiled Sammi, finally one take forward and hugging Nikki like normal. Nikki didn't question anything, wrapping his strong arms tightly around Sammi. She could feel the difference in strength right away.

"Come on, let's not be greedy," said Tommy, grasping Sammi's shoulder and leading her into the recording room.

Without Sammi facing the terror twins, Tommy flashed a smirk to Nikki as if the adults were back to being teenagers in high school. Mick was the first to welcome Sammi in, heading straight for a hug and a pat on her head.

"Ain't this a surprise, Little girl," said Mick.

"You're the one who told me to come," smiled Sammi, causing Mick to shrug his shoulder.

Mick was almost pleased with himself. "Didn't think you'd take the bait," chuckled Mick. Mick looking healthy was Sammi's first thought, causing the smile to stick on her lips.

"Hey Sammi," said Vince, going straight for a hug that was gladly returned. "Finally we can have some fun around here,"

Right as Sammi was close to responding when the sight of Bob caused her to shut her mouth. Bob was a big tall man whose voice matched everything about him physically. He towered over Sammi, glaring down at her with an intense stare. Sammi took a few steps back, almost hiding right behind Nikki.

"Am I really that scary?" asked Bob, breaking into a smile.

"Do you want an honest answer?" asked Sammi, staying beside Nikki. Nikki crossed his arms, puffing his chest to seem as if he was protecting Sammi. Bob nodded. "You're more than a foot taller than me and built like a football player. You are scary to me!" said Sammi. Everyone burst into laughter, any tension dissipating.

"Well I am not a mean person. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sammi. You just came at the right second, the boys are on a break," said Bob.

"I really hope I'm not imposing. I can just go back to my hotel and wait,"

"No!" said Motley in unison.

"Sammi trust us, we need you for a bit," said Nikki, squeezing Sammi's shoulder gently.

"You can stay for the rest of the session if you like, Sammi. I'm serious. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the offices. We'll start recording vocals in 20," said Bob, walking out, having Kevin follow him right behind. Sammi let out a sigh of relief, happy to not bother anyone who was working with Motley.

"See, Sam, you're welcome wherever you go," said Tommy pulling out a chair for Sammi that she accepted.

"I guess I am. But enough about me, how's the album going?" excitedly asking Sammi, smiling with bright eyes at the guys.

As the guys all settled back into their seats, Mick whipped out a piece of paper of every song for their new album, all in Nikki's handwriting. Sammi took the form for closer examination, reading off every circled name of a song.  

"Okay so we have 'Dr. Feelgood'. That one sounds cool. 'Slice of Your Pie', I wonder what that one's about," said Sammi, glaring at all the guys with a smirk.

"Get your mind out of the gut, Samantha," teased Vince.

"Rattlesnake Shake. That one also sounds cool. Kickstart My Heart. That has to be about Nikki. Without you?" stopped Sammi, scrunching her brows together. She looked up at Motley, trying to read all their faces. Vince and Tommy shifted their eyes to each other, looking at Nikki and Mick. Nikki bounced his leg a bit more than usual. "What's 'Without You' about?" asked Sammi. Nikki and Tommy glanced at each other, waiting for one of the two to speak.

"It's a song about Heather and I. You know how record labels are about having love songs on albums," said Tommy, putting on a somewhat convincing smile.

"Oh so you wrote a song!" exclaimed Sammi. "That's awesome. Did you help him, Nikki?" Nikki shook his head. "Well can I hear it? Especially if you wrote it Tommy,"

"It's not done yet, Sam. We still need the instruments on some parts," said Vince, Nikki thanking him in his mind. "Anyway! How many days are you staying in Vancouver?" asked Vince.

"I'm only staying for 2 days. I just wanted to make sure you four were still good and running," said Sammi.

"Awe come on Sammi, you don't have to worry about us. We're adults who have now figured out life. Kind of," said Vince with a proud smug smile.

"Vince is right and we can prove it to you," said Nikki.

"Oh really? How so?" asked Sammi, raising a brow with a smirk to Nikki.

"How about you come out to our rental tonight. We can all make dinner together and catch up especially since I haven't seen you in months," said Nikki, matching Sammi's smirk.

"And whose fault is that, Nikki?" asked Tommy, chuckling at the glare he received. Sammi snickered but hid her smile behind her hands as Nikki faced her again.

"That sounds like a great idea, Nik. I would love that," smiled Sammi. It was like they were in their own little world again, where Nikki only knew Sammi. Vince didn't feel the massive sting of jealousy as before, only by a quarter of the feeling. Nevertheless, he had to admit it was nice to see Sammi happy as well as Nikki.

"I can pick you up from your hotel, Sam. Our place is basically in the middle of nowhere. It's by a small lake!" said Tommy.

"Well isn't that cute. I hope you four are ready for my cooking," teased Sammi, standing up from her seat as she noticed Bob about to walk into the room again. It was time to somewhat finish what the boys started, more vocals on Vince's behalf. Sammi just sat on the loveseat right behind Nikki with a happy smile on her face.

"Okay!" Bob clapped. "Let's get back to work!"

*

Sammi shouldn't have been surprised when she first laid eyes on Motley's rental house that appeared to be a country log cabin. It subtly screamed Nikki and his Idaho roots. A beautiful two-story log cabin in the middle of the green forest with a lake within walking distance. It was a fantastic little escape for the guys after a long day at the studio, calling this home for who knows how long. In the open space kitchen, Sammi and Tommy served the five plates ready for Sammi's food. Nikki set up the dining table with forks and knives, placing the guys' drink of choice. Without asking her, Nikki popped open a bottle of Sammi's favorite red wine and poured a glass for her. It didn't take much energy for Nikki to completely ignore the alcoholic drink. Vince and Tommy set the plates of food on top of each placemat while Mick put the garlic bread basket right in the middle. Everything smelled amazing.

"Okay! Are we all ready to eat?" asked Sammi, walking into the dining room, seeing Motley sat down like well-behaved children with Tommy leaving a spot right next to him. "I'll take that as a yes," Sammi said, sitting beside her brother.

It was a comfortable silence that filled the room. Only the sound being made was of forks hitting the plates that felt like music to Sammi's ears. Silent people eating was a compliment for Sammi.

"I forgot how great your cooking is, Sammi," said Vince, finally taking a breather as he sipped on his glass of water.

"It's just spaghetti with meatballs," snickered Sammi, looking over Tommy to see Vince.

"Yes but we are used to frozen meatballs and pregos spaghetti sauce," said Mick, mouth almost full of food.

Sammi shook her head, taking another bite of a meatball. She glanced over at Nikki right in front of her, smiling at how he ate in silence. "Nikki seems to love my food. His head has been down his plate the entire time." teased Sammi. Nikki only flipped Sammi off in a matter she knew was playful. Sammi notices her glass of wine, looking around the guys. She smelled it and took a sip, happy to know it's her favorite. "Did you pour me some wine, Tommy?" Tommy shook his head.

"I did," said Nikki. "I thought you would enjoy a nice glass of wine,"

"But-"

"Sam, you don't have to quit drinking just because we did," said Mick, patting Nikki on the back. Sammi didn't say anything else, taking another sip of her wine.

"So, Samantha, a little birdie told me you got your pharmacy license. How does it feel being a full time grown up?" asked Nikki, relaxing in his chair.

"I'm so happy I passed, I did not want to react that stupid exam. Now it's just interviews back in L.A," said Sammi.

"Finally settled in at your new place?" asked Tommy, finishing the last of his food.

"Yeah I just need to figure out what to put in the second room. I only have my San Francisco sofa,"

"I'm surprised you kept anything from that tiny place," said Vince. "This might sound so stupid but does a pharmist apply? All I can think of is Walgreens,"

"I am mainly aiming at the hospitals now that most have their own private pharmacy," answered Sammi, finishing the last drop of wine. "Oh! I almost forgot! I finally bought a new car! It's a mustang,"

"Hallelujah! She finally listened!" said Nikki, dropping his head back to pretend he was looking at God.

Sammi smirked and flipped him off. "Great to know you didn't leave your sarcasm at rehab,"

"Oh, I love family dinners!" exclaimed Tommy, being the first of a domino effect to rise from his seat to take his dirty plate to the kitchen. Mick and Vince soon left, leaving Nikki and Sammi alone. They stayed in silence, Sammi scratching her neck as she looked away from Nikki. Nikki kept his eyes on Sammi.

"Do you wanna go for a walk outside? I can show you the lake," asked Nikki. Sammi only nodded.

*

As Nikki and Sammi walked beside the stream, they still kept a fair distance between themselves, keeping a guard up. Compared to how they were only a moment ago, they couldn't speak to each other the same way in privacy. One of them had to break the wall first, but they didn't know who it would be or what they would say first.

"I'm sorry," said Sammi.

Nikki halted, scrunching his brows in deep 11's at Sammi. "What? You're sorry? For what?"

Sammi sat down on the dry grass, inching close to dip her finger in the cold lake water; Nikki sat beside her. "I started to think after the therapy session about how we started, and I realized I wasn't nice. It wasn't ideal to how a couple should start,"

"Sammi-"

"Just hear me out, please," said Sammi, biting her lip as she stared out into the water. "When I got with Vince I knew you had feelings for me, but I didn't do anything about it. I just ditched you and you have to admit that must've hurt, Nikki. Even if we got together in the end,"

Nikki sighed out, pulling out pieces of grass under his feet. "Yeah it did,"

"I should've never gotten with Vince right after we had sex for the first time, and I'm sorry I would go to you when Vince pissed me off, I shouldn't have done that either. I knew how much you cared about me and I still listened to Athena & Tommy. I should've just chosen for myself," said Sammi, finally looking at Nikki.

"Would you have gotten with Vince even if your siblings weren't in your ear?" asked Nikki.

"No… but I think I needed it. I needed that little heartbreak to learn," said Sammi.

"Thank you. I appreciate it, Sammi. I really do," said Nikki with a smile. Sammi sighed out, feeling the weight leave her shoulders.

"Also I'm so fucking sorry I called you by that name. I was just-"

"Sammi, again, I appreciate it," chuckled Nikki. Silence soon filled between them again.

"Hey, have you happened to have any 'demons' hit you up?" asked Sammi.

Nikki dryly chuckled. "If you mean my past drug buddies, only one. Veronica called me when I was in rehab,"

"Oh," said Sammi in straight monotone.

"Don't worry, she finally got the idea we're not getting married,"

"Hope she returned that fucking ring. What did she want?" asked Sammi.

Nikki smiled at Sammi, finding her jealousy amusing. "She said she almost overdosed a week before calling me, only to have her call me high off her ass. So I just wished her well and hung up. I couldn't handle that,"

"You sadly can't fix them all I guess," said Sammi sadly.

"I'm scared, Sam. I'm scared to go back to L.A," blurted out Nikki.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the same Nikki that left. I know I'm going to lose friends but what if I get home and find out I really had no one this whole time?" asked Nikki, looking down at the grass. "Then what do I do?"

Sammi swallowed away her nerves, inching closer to Nikki as she laid a gentle hand on his bicep. "Hey, look at me," said Sammi. Nikki turned, eye dilating from how close to Sammi for the first time. "You have people now who truly care about you and you alone. I can already see a better relationship between you and the guys," Sammi soon grew hesitant, looking away from Nikki for a second. "And you have me. That's all you need right now after finally getting better. Remember that," said Sammi, squeezing Nikki's arm.

It took all of Nikki's strength to not lean in and kiss Sammi but be a miracle he managed. "Thank you, Sammi. I appreciate it," said Nikki. Sammi rested on her knees and hugged Nikki the best way they could. Nikki leaned into her, wrapping an arm around her waist.

June 15th, 1988

A knock on the hard hotel door almost scares Sammi, jumping off her bed and softly tiptoeing to look through the peephole. When seeing Nikki appear anxious in the hallway, she swung the door open with worry.

"Nikki, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are the guys okay?" asked Sammi in one breath, lightly placing a hand on his chest. Nikki shook his head, walking right into the single bed hotel room.

"I, um, I just really needed to give you something before you go tomorrow," said Nikki, rubbing his fingers together in a nervous habit.

Sammi eyed Nikki, not downplaying scanning him from head to toe. "Okay but just know you're scaring me," said Sammi, sitting at the foot of the bed. Nikki stood right in front of Sammi, pulling out a cassette tape from his jean pocket. He gave it one last look before handing it to Sammi, not looking her in the eye. As Sammi took the cassette, she quickly noticed "Without You" written by Nikki on the front, scrunching her brows together.

"You can play this right when I leave," said Nikki, ready to walk right out of the room. Instead, Sammi took to hold onto his wrist.

"What the hell is going on? Why're you giving me the song Tommy wrote?" asked Sammi.

Nikki sighed. "Tommy didn't write it. I did. It's finally a love song I wrote that isn't disguised… and that's about us,"

"You wrote me a love song?" smiled Sammi. Nikki nodded with a blush on his cheeks. Sammi couldn't help it any longer, standing on the tips of toes, cradling Nikki's face as she leaned in for that kiss. A kiss so soft and kind, Nikki felt his heart burst out of his chest, afraid to kiss again.

"Thank you," whispered Sammi, a smile still on her lips. Nikki scoffed, matching a smile. "But I need to listen to this right now," Sammi said, darting straight to the radio on the desk table. Nikki didn't protest, only groaned as he dropped himself on the bed, hiding under a pillow. The song in its entirety was touching but more so for Sammi, paying deep attention to every lyric. Sammi took the cassette out when it finished, looking over at Nikki's body thrown on the bed. She stretched herself on the bed, taking the pillow off Nikki's face to see his deep red flush.

"I love you," said Sammi. Nikki looked up in shock at Sammi, lips parting as if he wanted to say something. But all he caught was another kiss from Sammi with more passion. The two fell almost into the same old routine, Nikki's hand caressing Sammi's hair, Sammi's hand on Nikki's clothed chest. As Sammi started to lower her hands, the feeling of excitement turned into anxiety for Nikki in a blink of an eye.

"Sammi," whispered Nikki, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving the distance between them.

"What's wrong?" asked Sammi. Nikki slowly sat up, wiping the sweat off his hands. He took a few deep breaths, not able to look in Sammi's direction. "Are you okay, Nikki?"

"Remember when I told you I was scared?" asked Nikki. Sammi nodded. "Being with you like this was in that same word," said Nikki, meeting Sammi's worried eyes. "I-I've never been sober and doing this… with you,"

"Not even a little sober?" asked Sammi.

"When I say I was dependent, I really mean it. I needed a bit of something to bring me nerves down,"

"Guess your shyness didn't go away either," joked Sammi, rubbing her finger softly on Nikki's cheek. "Nikki, I'm not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do,"

"And trust me I do. It's just what if I'm bad at everything I thought I was good at between us?"

"I don't think it works like that, sweetheart. But I still don't want you to feel pressured to sleep with me. We can just cuddle and fall asleep. It'll be okay," reassured Sammi.

Nikki smiled lovingly at Sammi, leaning in to kiss her softly. "I love you, Sammi Lee. I really do," whispered Nikki.

Sammi's cheeks flushed. "And I love you, Nikki Sixx," whispered Sammi, leaning her head on Nikki's shoulder.

"Come on, you have a flight in the morning," said Nikki, playfully pushing Samami down on the bed. As Nikki stood at the bed's foot to strip down to his boxers, Sammi got under the soft white covers. The two fell back into the routine of late-night tv and cuddles. Nikki having his arm securely around Sammi with her head laid on his bare chest. The feeling of calm security quickly engulfed the two after a long marathon of danger. It was perfect.

#mötley crüe #Motley Crue #motley crue fanfiction #Nikki Sixx #Tommy Lee #Vince Neil #Mick Mars #Douglas Booth #douglas booth!nikki sixx #colson baker #machine gun kelly #mgk #daniel webber #iwan rheon #The Dirt #the dirt fanfiction #The Dirt Netflix #Lucy Hale #pll #classic rock #1980s #1980s music #80s rock #glam rock #80s #A Little Bit of Attitude

[hes-writer]

Instagram

Based on: harry is on tour and y/n posts a picture with a co-worker on a night out and he gets jealous and frustrated cause he hasn't seen his girl in a while.... he does something stupid that goes viral and breaks her heart but the co-worker is just a really good friend of hers and is happily married or something.... idk if it's a good idea but you can make it very angsty cause i love it hahahah (ooh-so-laura)

Word Count: 1457 words

Warnings: fluff, angst

Being on tour meant that Harry was away from Y/N for most of the year and that completely takes a toll on a relationship. It wasn’t because their love for each other lacked in any way, shape, or form. It was just that distance can strain even a strong relationship like theirs in subtle ways. So subtle that Harry didn’t even notice that he had gone a couple of days without video calling his lover, or that she wasn’t updating him every hour on her annoying work colleagues-- which was unusual for her, considering that she was practically attached to her cell for hours on end. 

So when Harry finally had the time off to catch up with the rest of himself, alongside the buzzing environment of traveling and touring-- his first instinct was to grasp his phone and dial Y/N’s number, not even considering the time difference of their home to his location for the next twenty-four hours. 

He waited and waited for what seemed like forever--he thought it was interchangeable considering he hadn’t talked to her in ages--he was surprised (not really) that it went to her voicemail. Harry knew that Y/N loved her sleep. He switched off the Clock app, finding out that it was only a quarter past nine and there was absolutely no way that she would be asleep at this hour. 

He tried twice, to no avail. His eyebrows furrowed in wonder and curiosity, lips pursing in a slight pout as a sudden wave of sadness overcame him and he realized that he’d probably have to wait for a bit more time until he got to talk to Y/N. 

---

As private as he is, Harry still kept up to date with the latest news through social media. He has been extra cautious as of late ever since he accidentally posted a picture of him wearing a cartoon shirt to his public Instagram story, mistaking taking it for the green, ‘close friends’ button. He made sure to keep his thumb a few centimeters more away from the sensitive screen as to not accidentally double-tap a picture he had no intentions of liking. He scrolled quickly, his eyes boring the screen in a swift glance, not really being interested in anything he was seeing. 

He soon moved on to his next task--to check everyone’s story. Loud sounds and pounding music got lagged through as he tapped on the right side of his screen, cutting off the video midway. He was still uninterested. 

Harry refreshed his feed, letting the loading logo swirl through circularly. Needless to say, he was stunned when he saw Y/N’s latest post, uploaded only a few minutes ago. 

There it was in large format, a picture of his girl and a--not going to lie-- a very decent looking man in a slick navy blue suit with a red tie. He figured he would’ve been more up-front of his obvious distaste of the man if he hadn’t worn such a color-coordinated suit. Snickering to himself, Harry thought he could probably show him up with a Gucci patterned suit of his that he’ll pull off no matter what. 

But nonetheless, the look was effortless and Harry was sure that he would’ve liked the man very much if it weren’t for Y/N appearing beside him. That alone caused a scowl to appear on his face and the next thing he knew; he was calling his girlfriends’ number with forceful taps of his calloused thumbs.

Y/N looked great, obviously. And maybe that’s why he was impatiently muttering to himself for her to pick up the phone. Harry didn’t know if he should complement the dress she wore or mention the fact that her lipstick was perfectly painted on her pouty lips, or how her hair was styled in a way that reminded him of date nights that ended in passionate lovemaking.

His chest ached suddenly, emotions overwhelming the fact that he missed his girl so much added with the boiling jealousy bubbling in his blood. The call went to voicemail and normally he would patiently wait a few minutes before calling again. However, Y/N’s profile rimmed a colorful hue, indicating that she just recently uploaded a story. 

He didn’t know what to make of her actions-- if she deliberately ignored him or she simply did not hear her ringtone alarming that he was calling. He called again. 

“Who’s that in your photo?” He growled, demanding for an answer instead of greeting his lover.

Y/N furrowed her brows at his sudden rough voice filling the speaker of her phone, “Hello to you, too”

“Who was that?” Harry repeated. He couldn’t help his fingers from fidgeting against a stray string of his knitted jumper. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“That was Kevin,” Y/N answered loudly, loud music blaring through her soft voice. “Did you like his suit? He said it was Gucci, but he wouldn’t let me see the tag,” She chuckled at the end, oblivious at the burning jealousy coursing through Harry.  

“Kevin, huh?” Harry mocked. “I’m sure it was Gucci and I guarantee that he wouldn’t mind taking it off to show you,”

He could hear you excusing yourself from the crowd. His phone speaker muted to a quieter atmosphere--he assumed you moved outside. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“God, Y/N. I haven’t seen you in so long and the first thing I see is with you and some other guy!”

“And whose fault is that?” She bit back, hoping to get some sense into his head before she hung up. 

Sighing in frustration, Harry changed to a decent attire, quickly grabbing the things he needed for a night out. Needless to say, the next morning was interesting for both of them. 

———

Headlines of Harry were plastered everywhere, mostly discussing his wild night out wherein pictures of women grinding against him were linked. He didn’t have an ounce of alcohol last night, but the hazy atmosphere of the club surely made his mind boggled. 

“Oh shit,” He muttered silently to himself, sitting up in his otherwise empty hotel bed. 

—-

Y/N understood that he was busy as of late, especially since he was in the middle of touring. Their video calls for the past couple weeks dwindled into a good morning or good night message and as much as she wanted to beg him for a few minutes to see his faced in a pixelated screen--she knew that he just didn’t have enough* time to do so. 

But apparently he had enough time to go out. She thought. She shook off the thought, knowing that jealousy and jumping into conclusion never ended in a quiet stupor. 

Instead, she examined the pictures closely as much as the blurry pixels let her. Seeing the emptiness in his eyes and the slouch of his shoulders caught her attention. His hands were to himself, seeming as though he did not care enough to push the women off of him but had no intentions to enjoy the movements against his body. And frankly, Y/N should be angry at him for doing something so stupid. But she also couldn’t ignore her instincts that all he needed was a reassurance that their love was still very much alive. 

She called him. 

“Y/N!” Harry agitatedly explains the events of last night, spewing out that he did not do anything that would taint his conscience or ruin the relationship they had. It put Y/N’s mind to ease knowing that her initial assumption was right—he just needed her to be there for him. 

“It’s okay, H. I understand,” She responded softly, playing at the end of *his shirt that she was wearing. 

“Y-you do?” His voice came out childlike and scared. She could imagine his lips pursing in a pout. 

“It’s alright, Har,” Y/N relaxed her tense muscles, “You wanna tell me what happened during our call?’ She giggled at his behaviour, to which he groaned in protest. 

“I’d rather not,” He shook his head, his dimple making a slight indent on his cheek.

“You were jealous weren’t you?” 

“Of course not. I was just wondering because if it was from Gucci, then Alessandro would’ve shown it to me by now,” He muttered quickly, lips pursing and pressing a lie to cover up his embarrassing actions. “And I kind of miss you,” He added quietly. 

“Right, of course,” Y/N let a few seconds pass before replying, “And I miss you too,”

“So, Kevin is …?” Harry let his thoughts trail off, brows pinching together as he waited for her answer.

She laughed at his prying tone, “Kevin is happily married and you are, too.”

----

thank u for the request !!

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[dayurno]

under the cut is the kandrew throw down of the year™ aka my attempt at reasoning the ch*king scene in therapeutic context. the events in this happen in betsy’s office, on the grounds that andrew asked her to fix them a few weeks after canon. could probably be the kickstarter for a kandreil fic but who knows. i sure don’t

tw: discussions of abuse, choking, kevin flipping his shit (aren’t you tired of being nice? don’t you just want to go apeshit?)

"You’re a spineless, despicable, selfish, obsessed and self-righteous person—” Andrew starts, a tinge of anger simmering under his words. It’s almost dangerous, but Kevin knew Betsy would throw Andrew out of his room if he tried solving this with his fists. 

Maybe it’s that safety that has Kevin cutting him off, perhaps just as viciously, “You are a man,” he says, pointing a finger in Andrew’s direction. “You are an average, lazy, boring, cowardly, success-fearing man. You have potential and you waste it. You think feeling nothing makes you have the upper hand, but that makes you average. It makes you so-so; irrelevant; not special. You settle because you’re a coward.” He takes a deep breath. “You think violence makes you a man. It does not. It makes you a petulant child with knives.”

“Not so spineless after all,” Andrew snarls, a cold fury settling all over him and tightening his muscles into unbearable tension, as if he was about to snap. 

Kevin does not find fear when he looks for it; most of all, he’s tired. He’s tired of Andrew’s leash and how short it is, he’s tired of pulling at his teeth, he’s tired of up-keeping a deal with a man who did not keep his word in the first place. “Do better, then. Stop acting like a child and do better. You can’t like me if you tried and I’m getting tired of pulling at your teeth.”

“Andrew,” Betsy interrupts before Andrew can —  most likely —  launch himself onto Kevin, “what do you think? How does that make you feel?”

He stares at her fixedly, avoiding Kevin as if he weren’t there. “I think that I want him out.”

She considers it for a second, then says, “No. I can’t let him leave, Andrew. This is the root of all your issues with each other, and you’ve asked me to fix you two. Let me help.”

Andrew takes a long, shuddering breath, so deep Kevin’s own lungs hurt as he follows it. Inhale; exhale. They do it as parallel lines, eyes pointedly away from each other. “I think,” he roughly replies, “that Kevin could simply go back to the Ravens if he wants someone that gets off to Exy as much as he does.”

“Oh, because that’s so mature,” Kevin fumes, at once the forest fire and the leftover ashes. “It’s so easy for you to throw other peoples’ abuse around, isn’t it? Andrew gets to have boundaries, Andrew gets to keep secrets, but God helps anyone who wants to do the same. No one can touch you, but you can hurt people however you want without a single care for the consequences. Doesn’t sound very fucking healthy to me, Andrew. It sounds like someone I know and you won’t like to hear who it is.”

Andrew’s gaze is stone cold. Kevin would shiver if he wasn’t so deep within the flames, and then again —  he's seen worse. If Kevin survived Riko Moriyama, he'll survive anyone.

 “Say it,” Andrew demands. “I dare you. Say it.”

“I don’t fucking do what you tell me to do,” Kevin snaps, struggling to keep his voice down. “I’m not your fucking pet, Andrew. Obedience under the coercion of a knife is not the choice you think you’re giving me.”  

“Is that how you feel?” Andrew asks, dead gazed. His lips are chapped and his hands are balled into fists; shaking with the strength it takes him to hold himself back from giving Kevin another necklace of bruises. “You were not forced to strike a deal with me. You did it out of your own volition. Do not speak of things you do not understand because you want to lash out at me.”

“He thinks I don’t understand what it’s like to not have a choice,” Kevin laughs, a cynical sound choked out of his throat. “Oh, aren’t you farsighted. Before I got out of the Nest, saying ‘no’ to someone was not even in question, Andrew. There are things I still need spelled out for me because I don’t know what it’s like to have personal fucking boundaries. When you choked me, I,” at this point Kevin’s hands are trembling at the same violent rhythm Andrew’s are, though a part of him —  untainted and scared; perpetual in its adolescence —  still thrashes at his insides at the mere thought of arguing back, biting back. “I didn’t even know. I didn’t know that wasn’t a thing you should be allowed to do. I didn’t have a name for that. All I thought was that I was submitted to you, and that it was right, and that I was paying for keeping something from you. I didn’t know and you did it anyways. You took advantage of me.”

Andrew’s entire body tenses up. “I didn’t. I didn’t. If you say something like that again, I’ll kill you.”

“Then be it,” Kevin replies, leaning back against the chair with a slump of his shoulders. “Kill me. Do it. Finish the job you started. Live with yourself afterwards. Live your sad, average, miserable life and feel free to tell me if it’s worth it in the end.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Betsy holds her palm up in a quieting motion, looking only slightly tipped off by Kevin’s blowout. It was probably the last thing he’d ever say to Andrew —  probably the last thing he’d say at all, if Andrew’s murderous wishes were to be fulfilled —  and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. “That’s enough, you two. Kevin, do you understand how heavy of an implication that is? You cannot take it back. You know Andrew’s issues with being taken advantage of.”

“But isn’t it, doctor? Isn’t it being taken advantage of?” Kevin spits out, “Isn’t it taking advantage of someone to hurt them from a position of power, thus rendering them unable to defend themselves? I think it is. I think I won’t allow him to make me seem crazy for being angry.”

Betsy blinks for a few seconds, searching for Andrew’s eyes. Andrew, on the other hand, is perfectly still, frozen from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. There is no pride in Kevin to have made him like that —  there is only tiredness, so deep it settles in his bones. His bones; the place he knows Andrew the best in. Kevin sighs, “I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to. But I can’t do that with you using me as your punch bag because you know I won’t hit back, Andrew. I can’t do that.”

“I did not mean to,” Andrew says in a whisper, almost a prayer. “I did not mean to.”

“Andrew,” Betsy calls, her tone unwavering, “breathe. Breathe. You can’t fix this if you’re having a panic attack. You’re with me, you know this. You’re in my office at Palmetto State University. You are safe. You are having a joint session with Kevin.”

“I did not mean to hurt you,” Andrew repeats, and it’s the most vulnerable Kevin has ever seen him. Something in his chest recoils sadly at the sight. “I did not mean to take advantage of you. I was just—  Neil—  I lost control.”

Kevin purses his lips, allowing his bruising heartbeat to will down. “I know you didn’t mean to be cruel. That doesn’t mean you were kind.”

“Okay,” the therapist sighs, adjusting her glasses. “Okay. Andrew, I don’t think Kevin shouldn’t be allowed to manifest his anger in a controlled environment. You hurt him in a way that hindered his own recovery, and triggered memories of his own abuse. You did not mean to bring those memories back, but it has happened all the same. Kevin, do you think this could be fixed?”

He wets his lips, gently thumbing along the skin of his throat where sickly yellow, green and purple bruises were only a few weeks ago. Andrew follows his movements almost obsessively, and something glossy shimmers under the layer of apathy Kevin knows too well; guilt. Self-loathing. Kevin huffs a soft sound, and answers honestly, “I don’t know if I can forgive it in a way that’s healthy.”

She nods. “Thank you for your honesty. Andrew, do you think there is anything you could do to make it up for him?”

Andrew exhales shakily. “He could hit back.”

Betsy frowns, but Kevin beats her to whatever she was going to say by uttering, “No. I won’t put my hands on you.”

It makes Andrew offer him a weird look, though he’s still far, far away, the guilt now a lot more emptier; cotton-white. He looks speechless, so Kevin completes it for him: “I’m not like them. I’m not like…” like you, he wants to say, but wills it away; it would be too cruel. “I’m not going to hit back. I just want… I don’t know, Andrew. I don’t know what you want me to do and I’m tired of having no choice. I'm tired of having the yes choked out of me.”

“I will make it up to you.” Andrew steadies his gaze onto Kevin’s face, gripping the armrest of his chair until his already pale knuckles turn white. It sounds like a promise. “I will make it up to you. You have my word.”

It doesn’t mean much to me right now, Kevin wants to say. Instead, he answers, “Okay,” because really, what else is there to do? Andrew’s word is the best he can offer. There is nothing else he can promise and not even Exy can mend —  whatever this is. Whatever Andrew has made of them. 

“Is there anything else you want to say, Kevin?” Betsy asks, gently, her words a feathery touch skimming down the side of his face. 

Kevin doesn’t answer, staring directly at Andrew, wishing that he could at least hold his gaze for a second, a minute, a lifetime —  enough that Kevin could peel back the years of apathy from him like jackets, meeting Andrew, for once, in all of his mess the same way he has met Kevin’s messes one too many times. “Yes,” he says, and Andrew snaps his gaze towards Kevin with something too akin to shame for it to be any comfort. Still, Kevin holds it like it’s a prize, challenges him, tells him something Andrew might have not believed until now: I am unbreaking. “Wash that look out of your face. It’s a waste of blood and sweat, and I won’t have it in my life or in my Court. You cannot break me. I am angry at you because you tried when you were supposed to have my back.”

“I know,” Andrew answers, his grief razor-sharp and stupefying. “I will not be like them. I will not be like him. I will make it up to you.”

“Good,” Kevin tells him, crossing his arms and baring his teeth. “I’m expensive to keep.”

Betsy looks like she wants to interrupt their relentless stare down; Kevin’s muddy green meeting Andrew’s forest fire hazel, a battle of wills years in the making. Kevin might not hit back outside of Court, but he does not pull away —  he is not the man to do it. If it aches in Andrew, then it should ache and ache and ache, until it balances out the pain he caused; until he rots into something new.

He is just a boy, barely a man, a shadow of what someone with such unrelenting morality should be and act like. Kevin looks at him —  really looks at him, no bias clogging his mind, and what he sees is what he’s always seen; a boy. 

Leave it to the rest of the team to mistake Andrew Minyard for a hero or a villain. Their eyesight is filtered through their own self-beliefs, their opinions are based on their inability to believe others have the same nuance and complexity they believe themselves to have. Kevin Day, though —  he has always had perfectly sharp vision, and he cannot be fooled by sharp knives and dead eyed gazes. He came from men much worse; he sat with the horrors of the world, unflinchingly, long before Andrew did.

If Andrew could only be what he pretends he is.

#all for the game #aftg #kandrew #kevin day #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #neil josten #my writing #kevin #andrew

[binniedeactivated]

saint. || soobin🌪 (10)*Finale*

congratulations for making it to the part 1 finale guys! thank you all so much for supporting this au! I am grateful beyond words! ♡

🖤┊𝔰𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔱 . ೄྀ࿐ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝖘𝖔𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖓 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: 𝖘𝖒𝖚𝖙/𝖆𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙; 2195

you never really noticed how much breakfast solved your morning grumpiness but it did. you were much more relaxed and motivated when you were not worried and being taken over by hunger. you were able to actually pay attention and do your work with such ease. you thought maybe it was worth adding that into your daily routine once in a while. throughout you were surrounded by a bunch of females who were talking about how they were ranked on the list as it if mattered anymore. you wished they stop talking about it because to you at least, it didn’t matter anymore. you hated soobin for making something like that and you were happy you said what you said to him. 

anyway sister abigail was choosing random people to do math equations on the board today and you knew this would go completely go wrong for you. you knew math formulas and expression, but you couldn’t solve an equation. it was always for you which is why as soon as you felt as if you were about to go next you quickly asked her if you could go to the bathroom. she obliged and you were happy to have gone. 

you were kind of surprised soobin wasn’t in the hallway like he normally was. creating trouble and walking around as if he didn’t have classes to go to. you push open the door to the bathroom. there was someone sitting on the floor which you found very odd, and...disgusting. she looked insane. you don’t even think she went to the school, maybe she snuck in and needed a place to stay. you couldn’t go into another stall without addressing her. her clothes were ragged and her hair looked as if it hadn’t been brushed in days. you approach her hesitantly while she sits with her knees to her chest. she kind of scared you with that look of crazy in her eyes. 

“hey, are you alright? do you need somewhere to stay tonight?”.

maybe you could call your mom and they could’ve arranged something until she got back on her feet. you couldn’t just leave her here.

“what do you want? why are you even talking to me?”. she grumbled. you looked closer into her eyes.

“mia?”. 

“what?”. 

you were baffled at her appearance. you couldn’t believe she came to school in this condition she looked so strung out. it was terrible.

“what happened to you?”. 

“it’s not like you’d understand. shit like this happens to you when you refuse to be a saint”. she assures with a tear fleeing her eye. 

“mia it doesn’t matter if you’re a saint or not. if you need help you need help”. 

she blinked a couple of times before she began crying in her hands. you sit down with her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders. you felt horrible for her and you hadn’t even known what happened. As she was crying you could see her now dirty school skirt lifting up a bit. words couldn’t describe how sorry you felt at the fresh wounds that slit across her thighs.

“mia? have you been...?”. she quickly clutched the bottom of her skirt and pulled it down. she was ashamed of what she had done. you pursed your lips. no human being should ever have to experience that kind of pain. absolutely no one. 

“I want to help you. can I help you?”. you says and mia looks up with you with her teary blue eyes. 

“why the hell would you want to help me? soobin must’ve broken up with you huh?”. 

you stand up, giving her a hand to help lift herself off the floor. 

“me and soobin aren’t dating”. you say truthfully. “we should head to the nurses office to get you some painkillers”. you hold out your hand for mia to hold. she reluctantly clutched it figuring she had no choice. you guided her down the hallway and your mind was blown on how she willingly let people see her look like this. it wasn’t like mia to ever look ungroomed. 

“what do we have here?”. 

“hey i was wondering she can get some pain meds? she’s having a bit of a headache right now”. the nurse nods putting a hand through mia’s tangled hair.

“are you okay honey?”. she asks. and mia just nods knowing she was broken beyond repair. she was given the tablets and glass of water and she took them gratefully. you tell the nurse thank you and wish her a happy rest of her day before you let mia follow you back into the bathroom.

you place your bag on the sink and position her in the mirror where she could see herself clearly. she knew she looked like a wreck, she hadn’t had the strength to do something about it. you reach into your bag and take out a brush, slipping it through mia’s hair carefully. she flinches. 

“what are you doing?”. she snaps.

“I’m brushing your hair. I refuse to let you walk out of the bathroom like this”. 

she turns around and continue going down each strand, brushing out the knots at the ends before brushing from the top. you did this until her hair was as silky and flowy as you remembered it. mia touches it, forgetting how much better she looked with it done.  

“you like it?”. you asks and mia nods. she looks into the mirror like it was her first time seeing herself. you grab a napkin and wet it, wiping the tear stains off her cheeks. “whoever they were must’ve really hurt you mia”. she holds her head kind of low while you dip into your bag and grab some mascara and lipstick. you never wore much makeup but you carried it because...well that’s just what girls did in high school . 

“i’ll never be the same person again”. she swallows. you twist open the mascara and grip the cap tight. you gently drag the mascara brush up her eyes lashes with care. “who’d ever hurt you like this? this is insane”. 

“you’d be surprised at the things people do when they’re desperate”.

“what did they want from you?”. you question finishing up her other eyelash. mia gulps and stares into your eyes with the most serious look you’ve ever seen. you gulp. 

“mia you have to tell someone you can’t just harm and neglect yourself like this”.

she shakes her head slowly, remembering what the boys told her. 

“I can’t”. 

“why can’t you? anything is better than this. look at your thighs. you can’t go on like--”. 

“I have no choice you don’t understand”. you sighed. you take out the lipstick and swab her lips with the pretty maroon color. you use your fingernails to get the excess around her lips before you were finished. you turned her around to the mirror where she could see herself. she stared and you could tell she didn’t know how to feel.

“you look beautiful mia. and if you let me help you we can get you through this”. 

she presses her lips together. 

“why are you being nice after I’ve done what i’ve done to you? it doesn’t fucking make sense”. 

“well--”.

“I clowned you in front of the whole school i fucked up your history exam I tripped you in gym class and not only embarrassed you but you were also injured. I tried to take soobin away from you and talked down on you as much as I possibly could to get him to hate your guts. why are you being like this?”. 

“The bible says to love your neighbor like you love yourself. yes those things happened but i forgive you. the only thing that is important right now is making sure that whoever it is pay for what they’ve done to you. you don’t deserve this”. 

mia toys with fingers before grasping you in her arms hugging you with the small pocket of joy she had left. 

“do me a favor just put that one on this wall”. Michael says to kevin. he nodded, taking the polaroid picture and stapling it to one part of the bulletin board. 

“we should spread them out more”. kevin says in a matter of factly tone. “true”. and together the both of them took their time taking numerous polaroids and stapling and taping them shamelessly to every wall they could find. 

“this bitch is so pathetic”. kevin utters laughing to himself. he was proud of the work they were doing. it was more fun than any arts and crafts project he’d ever done.

“she is. I hope she sees this shit”. michael replies. the both of them take a step back and look at it all together. in their eyes, it looked great. but when the bell rung and everyone made their way out into the hallway they stopped at every wall in complete horror. thousands of polaroids of the pictures mia took of herself, cutting herself and bleeding. under each one wrote, 

‘mia is an attention seeking cunt’ 

some laughed. some were shocked, and some just plainly walked by them as if they were normal everyday posters. but after mia hugged you, you slipped her your number and made your way upstairs to your class. to your misfortune you didn’t see them. 

but as soon as mia worked up enough courage to step out of the bathroom and become herself again she was reminded of who hurt her. she was reminded of the boys who could give less fucks about how she feels. she was reminded that she was an absolute psychopath for slitting her thighs the way she did. she was stared at. and normally mia wouldn’t mind being stared at when she was among her friends but it was different when she were alone and much more vulnerable. 

where were her friends?

she walks through the crowd holding her head low to avoid eye contact. she’d do anything to not be able to look into people eyes and see what they thought of her. she knew she was a lunatic. she knew she was disgusting. because in the religious community, self harm was bizzare. 

michael throws his hood on and ties it tightly so that his face went unseen. he catches up to mia who was still trying to innocently make her way past the hallway. he grabs them hem of her skirt and pulls it down before he makes a clean getaway. mia shrieks, gaining back the attention she was starting to lose.here she was, in the middle of the hallway with her scars out in the open for everyone to see. she quickly pulls her skirt back up with tears gushing out of her eyes. she runs outside of the school building and everyone stares in utter shock.

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════ 

the housekeeper clutches the blankets and snatches them off the bed. she jumped back a little when she saw the blood stains that danced along the bed sheets. she quickly reported it to her manager as she was mandated. he took a glimpse for himself. it was unusual that guests ever left a mess and when they did it would be food, shoes, maybe clothes that they forgot. 

but it was never blood so this was a serious problem. and it called for investigation.

#choi soobin #choi yeonjun #choi beomgyu #choi soobin au #txt au

[ghstandpucks]

Misguided Ghost Ch.9

A.N.: Hey everyone! I hope everyone is doing well! Quick update, I will be starting my student teaching tomorrow! It’s all I have left before I am finished with my teaching credential and master’s program! It’ll be my second master’s degree so I’m excited! So the next 14 weeks are going to be a little crazy for me. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter and let me know your thoughts! Thanks!

Sleepless Nights

Later that day, everyone had settled into their own spaces. We were all tired from being up, so I figured this was how they were at the end of a lockdown. Of course I probably messed with that routine with them taking me to a book store, but they were just being kind and I had finally accepted that they didn’t do it out of pity, but care. I had ordered a sandwich from the pizza place and some jalapeno poppers for dinner, and ate on my balcony, enjoying the cool air. It was only about 7, but I had already showered and was in my pjs curled up in bed with my books scattered around me and the cooking channel on. I slowly drifted off to sleep two hours later once I took my glasses off.

Startled, I shot up in bed, my heart pounding in my chest. I starting looking all around my room, and it seemed liked the shadows were moving around me. Putting on my glasses, I turned the bedside lamp on and looked around trying to calm myself. I couldn’t figure out why I had woken up, all I knew is that I felt absolutely exhausted. I laid back down hoping I could fall asleep again. No use. My eyes popped back open and I could not settle down. I looked at the clock and it read 3:30. “You’ve got to be kidding,” I whined and huffed out. I sat up and was completely on edge, apparently what had happened on the lockdown affected me more than I hoped for. I wasn’t sad or scared, just restless and agitated.

Deciding to give up any sort of sleep and not being able to stay put in the room as it was starting to creep me out, I slipped on Zak’s jacket, put my slippers on and grabbed my book. I didn’t want to wake anyone and worry them more. They all deserved some sleep after helping me. Grabbing my phone and room key, I walked out to the hotel lobby. Behind a rock wall divider was a cute little sitting area with two couches and a few over stuffed chairs. There was a fire place with a fire still burning, and I sat on the couch beside it, hoping the heat would help relax my tense muscles. I opened my book and sunk down into the couch, allowing myself to get lost in the literary work of Kevin Kwan.

Between looking at social media on my phone and reading my book, the next thing I knew it was 7:30 in the morning. My phone began to ring and I looked to see Nick calling me. “Hello?” I answered quietly.

“You could not have slept through all the knocking. Open your door,” Nick sounded exasperated.

“I’m actually not in my room,” I said slowly, feeling bad he had been knocking to no one. There was a pause on the other line.

“Where are you?” he asked, sounding unsure if he wanted to know the answer. I rolled my eyes, he didn’t think I went and slept with someone did he?

“Lobby. Next to the fireplace,” I answered. Nick told me to wait and he hung up. I went back to reading for about five more minutes.

“So do you want to tell me why you are down here at 7:30 with your pjs on?” Nick asked when he got to me. I sighed and sat up.

“If you must know, I woke up at like 3:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I came down here thinking the fireplace would be nice,” I closed my book and looked at him.

“You haven’t gotten much sleep then have you?” he asked, probably trying to figure out when I actually went to bed.

“I mean I fell asleep at like 9, so it wasn’t like I didn’t get any sleep,” I shrugged.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” I smiled at him and he returned it. “Why were trying to wake me up?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” Nick chuckled. “I was about to make a coffee run. The guys are starting to get up so we can head home. I know their orders but I wasn’t sure of yours. Aaron said tea, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted right now so I was going to ask.”

“Actually, coffee sounds great right now,” I said standing up and going with Nick to get everyone’s order. Luckily there was a coffee shop in the same parking lot as the hotel. Once we had all the orders and walked back to the hotel, I went to my room to change and pack. I had packed mostly last night, so it was mainly just getting my toiletries together and making sure I had everything. I was double checking the bathroom when there was a knock at my door. I answered to Aaron’s big smile.

“Ready to go?” he asked, coming in.

“Yup, just one second,” I said, zipping up my suitcase and grabbing my coffee and purse. Aaron eyed my coffee.

“Nick told us he found you in the lobby. How come you didn’t wake one of us up if you couldn’t sleep?” he questioned me. I shrugged but smiled at him.

“You guys did so much for me yesterday. I didn’t want to be annoying and call any of you at 3:30 this morning,” I replied. Aaron nodded.

“You know you could have though. Its not like any of us sleep the greatest after lockdowns either. No one would have minded.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I grabbed Zak’s jacket off the bed as we walked out with my stuff.

“So…still have his jacket huh?” Aaron nudged me with his elbow. I felt my face getting warm.

“It was comfy and I tried to give it back but he told me to keep it for now. I’ll give it back to him,”

“Sure Jan,” Aaron smirked. I choked on my decaf coffee and started to laugh once I stopped coughing, smacking his arm. We reached the guys in the lobby as Billy was checking us all out. I smiled at Zak and walked over to him.

“Are you ok?” he asked. I nodded and held out his jacket.

“Thanks for letting me borrow it,” he took it from me tentatively, almost like he didn’t want to take it back. I looked at him, trying to read his expression but he quickly put a smile on before I could question him.

“No problem,” Zak said in a low tone. He grabbed his suitcase and started walking toward the van. Did I upset him somehow?

We all piled into the van, ready for the drive home. The drive was quiet for the most part, everyone doing their own thing. I was trying to read my book, but kept looking up front to where Zak was gazing out the window, extremely quiet. I would hear Billy say something, with him only mumbling in return. Had I upset him somehow? Maybe he was tired? I kept questioning myself. Four hours later we found ourselves back in Vegas, and turning into my apartment complex. I hopped out as Aaron helped me with my bag. “If you need anything, and I mean anything Y/N, you call me. Alright?” he asked. I nodded and gave him a quick hug, yelling bye and see you tomorrow to the guys. I walked into my apartment, and set my bags down. I started to do laundry and think of what to make for dinner. I was craving something comforting, and comfort food to me was Mexican food. Growing up Hispanic, my house was always filled with delicious Mexican food. My mom is a great cook, and I was trying to follow in her footsteps. Realizing I had all the ingredients to make some chicken enchiladas, I got to work. As I cooked though, the silence of my apartment started to creep up on me. I turned on my Spotify, but I couldn’t shake a creepy feeling. I kept reminding myself that nothing harmful happened to me on the lockdown, so why was I feeling so spooked when I was by myself. Maybe it was just the fact that I had an experience, and it was sticking with me. I hoped it went away soon. I was feeling a bit better than last night at least.

The timer went off on my enchiladas and I jumped. Taking them out of the oven, I decided that I really did not want to eat by myself tonight. I picked up my phone and went to my contacts. A part of me wanted to reach out to Zak, but I wasn’t sure what he would say after the way he acted this morning. So I went with a more reliable source. “What’s up Y/N” Aaron answered on the second ring.

“Nothing. Just wondering if you have had dinner yet?” I asked. I heard him chuckle.

“Should I pick something up on my way over?”

“Well that was easier than expected. Here I thought I was going to have to bribe you with homemade enchiladas,” I laughed.

“What! I will be over in half an hour,” Aaron said, then hung up. I went about setting the table that I hadn’t really gotten to do yet. I was glad that I could rely on Aaron. At 6:30 he showed up and I served us the enchiladas with a salad on the side. “These are great kid! You can bribe me any time you’d like,” Aaron said through a mouthful of food. I laughed and nodded.

“Thanks for coming over. I didn’t really feel like eating by myself,” I looked down at my food.

“It’s no problem. I understand. You’ll eventually get used to lockdowns, but all of us know it takes a while. No judgement here,” Aaron replied. He put down his fork and looked at over to me. “Why did you call me though?”

“You said if I needed anything to call you. And I figured if you really wanted to be my big brother you should know I can be a handful at times,” I shrugged, making him laugh.

“Why didn’t you ask Zak?” Aaron went back to eating. “Not that I mind. It’s just that you two seemed to be getting closer. I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded having dinner with you.”

“I think I may have upset him unintentionally. He seemed a bit disappointed when I gave him his jacket back earlier,” I told him. Aaron looked back at me and smiled kindly.

“He can be moody Y/N. I’m sure everything is fine and tomorrow it’ll be like nothing happened.” I smiled back at him and we finished eating, changing the topic to tv shows we liked. Around 9pm, Aaron left and I showered and laid down in bed. I hoped Zak wasn’t mad at me. I thought I was being responsible giving him his jacket back. I would have kept it in a second if I knew how he would have reacted.

~ ~ ~

           I woke up the next day feeling refresh after finally having a decent night’s sleep. After getting ready quickly and texting Aaron for Starbucks orders, I arrived at the office right on time. I passed out the coffee’s to Nick, Aaron, and Billy who was in today going over evidence from the lockdown, and then found myself in front of Zak’s office. He was staring at something on his laptop, so I knocked on his door frame. “Can I come in?” I asked. Zak looked up at me and nodded slightly before going back to his work. I walked in and set the coffee on his desk.

           “What’s this for?” He asked gruffly.

           “I just got everyone coffee this morning,” I shrugged. His attention stayed on his laptop as he nodded. I took that as my que to leave. Before I stepped out of his space though, I turned around. “I’m sorry if I upset you in anyway. I hope you know I didn’t mean to.” I said before turning around and walking into my office. I didn’t want to see his reaction. I sat down at my desk and started my laptop, getting to work. I snuck a peak at Zak, only to see his head shoot back down to his laptop. Was he watching me?

           After lunch, I was looking at one of my mythology books for information about a spirit people had seen at a site. I had my back turned to my door and quickly turned around when I heard footsteps come into my office. Zak had brought his laptop and sat on the opposite side of my desk. He didn’t look at me, just went back to his emails from what I could see. I took my book back to my desk and continued working as well. Maybe this was his way of saying everything is ok? I’m not sure, but as I looked over at him and saw the tension release from his shoulders and jaw like it did the other day, I figured we were going to be just fine.

#Ghost Adventures #ghost adventures imagine #ghost adventures x reader #misguided ghost #zak bagans #zak bagans imagine #zak bagans x reader

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 5) | The Boyz Imagine

Ep 5: in which Kevin says it’s okay to be different 

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main Characters: Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz.

Genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

----------

“I managed to take out his tumour, but I’ll need him to stay for a few days just so that he can recover fully. He’s under anesthesia for now but he should be up soon,” Kevin flips through his newest patient’s medical file and scans the page for his details. His name is Yeon Hanjo, eight years old, who had suddenly collapsed to the ground a week ago with no indication of an illness whatsoever. An MRI scan of his head and body had shown that the small child had been keeping a tumour hidden within the side of his skull for some time and after some thorough deliberating and research about the best methods to go about the operation, Kevin had managed to successfully draw the tumour out without any mishaps or complications. 

Mrs. Yeon bows before Kevin once more with barely restrained tears coating her eyes. She holds a tissue in her hand, which seems already wet and crumpled into a ball, and Kevin reaches out with another tissue that she takes gratefully. 

Mr. Yeon is at her side, one hand on his wife’s shoulder to provide her comfort, “Thank you, thank you so much Dr. Moon. We--We don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

Kevin lets out a small, genuine smile, “it’s my duty. Hanjo’s life is just as important as anybody else’s, if not more.”

A few hours after the parents have left and Kevin has done his rounds as he is supposed to, he makes way to Hanjo’s room with a box of chocolate in hand. 

Hanjo is already awake, blinking at the night sky from his hospital bed. The child turns his attention towards the door when Kevin pokes his head in with a smile, “hello Hanjo. How are you feeling?” 

The child shrugs, and looks away. 

Being familiar with the way children react when they are forced into an unfamiliar setting where strangers prevail, Kevin steps in, closes the door behind him and takes a seat at Hanjo’s bed. The child is still not looking at him, chin adamantly pointed towards the outside world. 

“I bought something for you,” Kevin opens up his box of chocolates and offers him the box. Hanjo peeks into it for a few seconds of silence, looks up at his face, then pushes the box away.

While Kevin isn’t used to children not wanting any chocolate, that doesn’t dissuade him from trying. He closes the box and sets it on Hanjo’s bedside table. 

“In a few days, you can go back home. Aren’t you glad?” Kevin chats on despite the reluctance in Hanjo’s body behaviour, “what’s the first thing you want to do when you go back, Hanjo?” 

Still, the child stays silent. Kevin sees his lower lip tremble but decides it is better off not to mention it. He takes it as a fact that Hanjo might be shy, unwilling to converse because he’s a stranger. The only solution to that though is for Kevin to keep trying, which he does day after day. Every time he’d bring something different -- a different candy, or toy that boys his age would’ve liked -- but Hanjo refuses every single item without delay. 

When the date of Hanjo’s discharge looms closer and closer, Kevin can’t help himself but urge him to speak by prompting the child with good news, “you must be excited, only three days left!” he grins at the child in hopes of getting a smile back, at least. 

Hanjo, on the other hand, merely blinks. Then, a fat tear rolls down his cheek before he bursts into tears.

“Hanjo,” Kevin’s demeanor softens then, gently tugging the said child in his arms and scooping him close against his chest. The child keeps on crying, his face now red and tears cascading down his cheeks, staining Kevin’s white coat. His parents, having heard the commotion from outside, quickly slip in with mirroring expressions of worry and take the child from Kevin’s arms, who is left confused and slightly concerned at the child’s suddenly sad countenance. He cannot, for the life of him, understand how Hanjo’s mind works. Kids like him shouldn’t be crying like their world is tearing apart, shouldn’t be subdued and silent and just afraid of everything. 

No, there’s something that’s bothering Hanjo. And Kevin finds his answer a few hours later. 

“Hanjo spent most of his life in Florida, where he was born,” Mrs. Yeon says to him. After Hanjo had fallen asleep, she had ushered to buy Kevin a coffee at the cafeteria. She now sits opposite him, coffee cup clasped between frail fingers with skin wrinkled and saggy from years of work, eyes rimmed with blue aprons and mouth tugged down in a tense, awkward line, smeared with a pale chalky lipstick.

“We moved here just a few months ago. He hasn’t told me anything, but his teacher tells me that he hasn’t been very...interactive with the other kids,” she purses her lips as if in discontentment, “he barely talks, not because he doesn't understand. We talk to him in Korean all the time at home. Somehow though, he barely says a word here. It’s like he doesn’t want to make even the slightest bit of effort.”

“Have you tried talking to him about it?” Kevin asks with furrowed eyebrows. 

She shakes her head, “no, well. We’ve tried asking him about school and stuff, maybe mentioned his teacher’s comments once or twice but that was it. We don’t want to push him either.”

He can’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for the said young boy, knowing all too well how strange it is to move oneself to another country altogether, a country where the language is different, the people are different, and how it feels like your entire life has just turned upside down because of that mere fact. 

“Oh that’s just like little Kevin when he just moved here,” Hyunjae can’t help but snigger, prompting Mae to whack him across the back of his head.

“Ouch!” Hyunjae throws her a scowl, “why are you even a doctor? You should just become part of the mafia. Seriously! That hurt--”

She proceeds to shove a piece of lettuce in his mouth to muffle his protests. Juyeon and Kevin exchange knowing glances, before shrugging. 

“You should talk to him,” Mae suggests, and though she’s trying very hard to act normal, Kevin can feel the unease rolling off her, how she’s not looking at him and permanently fixating her gaze on her platter of food. He makes a mental note to ask Juyeon about it later.

For now, he replies, “yeah I should. It’s just a saddening thought. Children shouldn’t have so much trouble earlier on in their lives.” 

“Hey touff, we all haff prwabems,” Hyunjae attempts to say with his mouth still full. He swallows before gulping down some water. Slamming his cup down, he jabs a finger in Mae’s direction, “you and I have a problem.” 

“The only problem that I’ll have with you is killing you by asphyxiation, and before you ask, there is food involved,” Mae cooes. 

Hyunjae shivers, “psychopath.” 

“Nu-uh, Sociopath? Probably. But psychopath?” she scrunches her face up as though contemplating the thought, “nah, I’m too kind.” 

“You flatter yourself too much,” Juyeon rolls his eyes.

“Can we focus on the problem at hand?” Kevin waves his chopsticks around dramatically, ignoring Hyunjae stealing his piece of chicken and replacing it with some ginger instead. 

“Kevin, we all know that you’re the wondrous child talker here,” Hyunjae says, “we’re all counting on you to babysit our kids one day.” 

“Excuse me? Is there kindergarten written on my forehead?” 

“You mean, there isn’t kindergarten written on your forehead?” Hyunjae gasps dramatically, “here, let me--” 

“Don’t you dare, Lee Jaehyun.” 

Kevin waits until Hanjo’s parents leave with promises that they’ll be here to watch over him tomorrow morning, before slithering inside the children’s ward. Hanjo spots him, but doesn’t say anything as the said doctor sidles up to his bed and takes a seat on the abandoned chair next to him.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Kevin murmurs. The child watches as he pulls out a box of pocky sticks. His mother had stated that Pocky is the only asian snack he eats. Surely enough, Hanjo doesn’t hesitate to grab it with his little chubby fingers and Kevin gazes down at him with a fond sympathy gripping his chest.

But then, Hanjo glances up at him uncertainly. Kevin puts a finger to his mouth, “can you keep a secret?” 

Hanjo pauses, contemplates him for a moment. Then, he nods. 

“Cool, because I can’t actually sneak in any outside snacks,” Kevin whispers with a soft chuckle at the alarm washing over Hanjo’s face, “it’s okay, don’t worry. This is between you and me, alright?” 

It takes a few seconds for the child to decide that Kevin’s intentions aren’t all that bad, before he slowly pries open the packet and digs into the snack with barely restrained excitement. Kevin just watches him with fondness, glad that for once it seems like he’s done something for Hanjo, when the child suddenly sticks out the packet, urging him to take some. 

“Oh,” Kevin blinks in surprise, before drawing a pocky stick, “thanks, Hanjo. That’s so nice of you.”

Hanjo just nods, before returning his attention to the said chocolate covered sticks. As his mother had stated, it is indeed his favourite snack. 

“Do you often eat pocky, Hanjo?” Kevin asks. 

The child shrugs, urging Kevin to ask, “do any of your friends eat pocky?” 

At this, Hanjo’s mouth pauses as if in contemplation and Kevin knows that he has hit a nerve. Not just any, but a sensitive one. He hurries to continue talking for fear that he might lose momentum, “you know, I never really had any friends when I first moved here. I used to eat pocky because it reminded me of the snacks my mom used to buy for me, back when we were still in Canada.” 

He can practically see the cogs turning inside Hanjo’s brain as he mulls over the newly acquired information. 

“I was shy back then. I didn’t know how to approach people. They all spoke Korean, I understood them. But I was so scared that they couldn’t understand me for some reason. After all, I never spoke Korean back when I was in Canada, just with my parents.” 

Kevin let the information sink in for the child who was now gazing up at him with newfound interest alight in his big brown eyes and it takes everything inside the said doctor not to squeal at how adorable he looks. Instead, he pauses and waits, waits with the hope that Hanjo will react to this, however he wants. 

“How?”

Kevin blinks. Hanjo’s mouth is open, curiosity filling his features as he continues hesitantly, “how...did you...make friends?” 

While Kevin wants nothing more than to punch the air in success, he decides that this is not the right moment to be celebrating that fact. Instead, he clears his throat and allows his arm to rest on the side of the child’s bed. 

“Actually, the pocky sticks helped me. The kids at my school always brought the same type of pocky sticks and then one day, when one of the girls in my class didn’t have any snacks, I offered her one,” Kevin smiles at the memory flashing before his eyes, “I thought she’d laugh at me when she started talking to me because of my accent. I wasn’t completely fluent. Surprisingly though, she was very interested to know what I had to say, despite the fact that I was so scared she’d just turn away from me.” 

“What was her name?” Hanjo asks.

“Her name?” Kevin tilts his head, “actually, she works here too. Her name’s Mae, she’s a doctor from the Cancer department.” 

Hanjo pauses for a few seconds, before he looks down at the box of pocky in his hand, “I don’t like talking in Korean,” his voice is small, barely a whisper, “I don’t like it here. Everything is different. Everyone is different.” 

“You know, Korean is one of the hardest languages to learn. And you know English. Do you know how amazing that is?” Kevin smiles down, one of his hands going to pat his head, “I know how it feels. It doesn’t feel like home, because home is far far away. But it will get better, Hanjo. It’s okay that you’re not fluent in Korean. You’ll get there, eventually. Look at doctor Kevin, see?” he motions towards his own chest, “I was in the exact same position as you were, once. But it really gets better, trust me.” 

Hanjo is frowning at the snack in his hands now, as though there are different thoughts flying about in his brain, thoughts too complicated for him to explain. But he surprises Kevin when he suddenly looks up and holds out his pinky. 

“Promise?” Hanjo asks, “promise it gets better?” 

“I promise,” Kevin hooks his finger with the child’s, “and you know what? You made your first friend right here,” and he pats his own chest with an amused smile. Hanjo’s lips tilt up in a mirroring expression, albeit hesitant, and Kevin’s heart melted right then and there in a puddle of Hanjo goo.

-----------

Knock knock. 

Kevin blinks away the drowsiness as he raises his head from his desk where he’d been napping just a few seconds ago. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, he spots Hyunjae and lets out a groan at the mischievous smirk on the latter’s lips. 

Whenever Hyunjae’s in a mood, he’ll have some kind of face that warns people about it. 

“Get lost, Hyunjae. Not in the mood,” Kevin groans while his friend saunters in as though he hasn’t been straight out rejected. Kevin buries his face back into his arms and Hyunjae quickly lays his head just beside him. 

“What?” Kevin asks with his eyes still closed.

Hyunjae merely giggles, before blowing softly on his face. 

Kevin whips his head around, “you’re so annoying. Get lost.” 

“But Kebiiin,” the taller man whines and nestles his face even closer so that Kevin’s soft hair tickles the bridge of his nose, “I have important news!” 

“What news?” comes Kevin’s mumble.

“I’m getting married.”

“To who?” 

“To you.” 

“No you’re not.”

“Okay fine, to Juyeon.” 

“No you’re not.” 

“Okay fine, to Mae then.” 

“Do you know,” Kevin asks slowly, “why is she acting so weird?” 

“Weird?” Hyunjae snuggles even closer, breathes in Kevin’s soft vanilla scent, “like usual Mae kind of weird or weirder than weird?” 

“No, she hasn’t been talking to herself. But she has been avoiding me.” “Oh.” 

“Oh?” Kevin whips around to look at him in alarm. 

Hyunjae draws back to stand, leaning against the opposite doctor’s empty chair as Kevin straightens to look at him with growing concern, “what do you mean by ‘oh’?” 

“She did ask me something weird the other day.” 

“About?” 

“About who you were crushing on.” 

“WHAT?” Kevin’s eyes grow wide, “what did you tell her?!” 

“That I had no clue.” 

“Oh thank god,” Kevin visibly slouches in relief. Then, his eyes grow wide, “wait--Does she know then?! That I--” All it takes is for Hyunjae’s face to take on a suspicious air for Kevin to realize that he is not out of dangerous waters yet.  He scrambles up and holds onto Hyunjae’s sleeve, “what?” Kevin demands like it’s a life or death situation. Which it is to him, “why do have that look on your face?” 

“Look Kev, mate, I definitely did not do anything.” 

“But?” 

“I never said there was a but.” 

“You implied it!” 

“Okay fine,” Hyunjae huffs, “but, someone seems to have leaked this information to her, like it or not--” 

“What?!” 

“--and we all suspect that it’s the Neurosurgery resident, the one that comes from Toronto--”

Kevin sucks in a sharp breath, “Jacob Bae?” 

“If anyone asks, this did not come out of my mouth,” Hyunjae is quick to defend while raising his arms in the air in mock surrender, but Kevin is too preoccupied at the thought that his secret is now out in the open for everyone to dissect and digest. How in the world does Jacob know about this? He barely even talks to him! 

Unless...unless it’s that obvious? 

His head snaps up so suddenly, eyes dark and so vividly intense on Hyunjae’s that the latter can’t help but yelp in return, “Hyunjae,” Kevin says slowly, “you’re sure...you’re sure you didn’t say anything?” 

“Are you implying that I lied to you?!” Hyunjae gasps mockingly, “Kevin, I’m--”

“Shut up and be serious for one second.” 

“Of course I didn’t! Who do you take me for?!” 

“Shit,” is the only thing that Kevin has to say, “Shit. Shit.” 

#deobi playlist #theboyz au #theboyz fanfic #theboyz scenarios #theboyz #tbznetwork #deobidrabbles #theboyz imagine #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #the boyz au #the boyz scena #the boyz hyungseo #the boyz juyeon #hyunjae fanfic #hyunjae #kevin moon scenarios #kevin moon imagines #kevin moon #the boyz kevin #hospital playlist #kpop fanfiction #kpop imagines #q #tbz changmin #sunwoo #sangyeon #jacob bae #younghoon #juhaknyeon

[themarionetteanovel]

Chapter Fifty-One - The Notebooks Go Missing

Claire brought the notebooks with her to work, convinced she was overlooking a critical clue. She finished going through the spiral-bound notebook where she’d found Dave’s secret email account and learned of Sophie’s pregnancy, and wondered if whoever did that rough drawing of a body had witnessed her death. Or had participated in it.

Since it was cool and overcast, customers were few and far between. Only if there was a thunderstorm would her boss close this place for the day and even then, she usually called to say so first. Claire propped her feet on the top of a cardboard box full of paper menus. She rested the black notebook on her lap and began working through the code Fran had given her.

She shivered. She should have brought a sweater or jacket to wear. Rain spat into her booth. She shifted closer to the griddle, wishing she could move it so she’d be downwind from its warmth. She continued transcribing. The optimal time to perform the activation is at the moment of death. The entities feed off of the life energy of the victim. With a pregnant woman who has passed the first trimester, they can feed off of the life of the infant as well.

“This is some seriously creepy shit,” she said aloud, comforted by hearing the sound of her own voice. She wished she’d never peered into the window of that antique store. She wished she and Dave had chosen a different college to attend.

She gazed out at the drizzle misting the spectral trees and lampposts. The river was invisible in the fog, similar to the night she first got together with Adam. Apart from a few pedestrians huddled under an umbrella near the concrete staircase, the park was empty. She hated being alone out here. She craned her head out to see if her boss’s VW Golf was parked nearby. No such luck. Similar to witnessing a gruesome car crash, she continued. For a man, achieving orgasm via being a recipient of sodomy activates the root chakra.

Dave had always been homophobic. You wouldn’t know it from the way he behaved around gay men, since he was friendly with everyone, but he was. She knew him. She knew him. Dave was never into weird occult rituals. Then again, she’d never clued in he was cheating on her for months on end either. The next lines she decoded were even creepier. Sacrifice of Sophia/Sophie. Blood, fire, earth and water. Pain feeds the energies, activates the chakras.

She closed the notebook and let it fall, landing on top of her purse. Chakra was another term she’d have to look up. She was delaying the inevitable. She was still reluctant to go to police with the clues she assembled. If Kevin was from as prominent a local family as he seemed, she could be putting herself at risk.

She checked the clock on the wall next to the schedule. An hour until her shift ended. Whenever she felt agitated, time slowed to a crawl. She watched the second hand sweep past the numbers, up and around, and then the minute hand would do one shaky tick. “Hey.”

She nearly leapt out of her skin at the voice. Carmen waved sheepishly at her.

“You gave me such a fright!” She could find no words for how happy she was to see Carmen, but surely the grin on her face said that for her.

Carmen giggled. “I didn’t mean to scare you! I tried waving to you as I approached and you were off on planet Claire. Hey, I think that was a song, no?”

“B-52s. An old 80s band,” she said, still recovering from the surge of adrenaline. She never used to be so high strung.

“How’s life these days? It’s been weeks since we hung out together. Didn’t you get my message when I told you I was back?”

I forgot, she thought with a sudden, razor slice of guilt. Again she’d been slack with friendships, only now she didn’t even have a boyfriend as an excuse. She’d texted Carmen about Adam, and Carmen had responded, and then … She got lazy. No, not lazy, anxious. All those empty evenings, she could have called to make plans and yet some part of her brain blocked her from even pulling out her phone.

“How was your holiday?” For some reason, holding such a mundane conversation compounded her sensation of surrealness.

“Not bad. Quiet. Sarah is still at Eric’s cottage. I came back to work and they laid me off.”

“I heard the new outlet centre’s drawn away a lot of customers from that plaza.”

She shrugged. “My friend Greg said his restaurant might have an opening for a hostess. He said he would pass my resume to his manager. I’ll find something, not to worry.”

“Good luck,” Claire said, her mind still scrabbling the dark corners like a rat, visualizing those lines Fran had decoded. She hoped the process wasn’t messing with her psyche.

“You are coming back in September for school, no?”

Claire was about to confirm she was when she spotted Adam strolling towards them from the parking lot. Her heart stopped, and then, as if shifting gears, began fluttering madly in her chest. She blinked, dreading he was nothing more than a mirage, a chimera. Carmen turned to wave at him and motioned for him to join them. He was real, and he was approaching them! Claire felt giddy, as if she’d just arrived at a party already in full swing.

They quickly caught up on the past few weeks, which he’d spent at his cottage roughly a four-hour drive from here. Adam assured a suspicious Carmen, both of them casting glances at Claire, that he been visiting extended family out of town.

“Anyhow, I’m on a quick break from work and thought I’d pop by to say hello,” Adam said. “I wasn’t sure how welcome I’d be.”

“Of course you’re welcome! I’m glad you came by.” Claire began feeling more optimistic for once. She hoped he’d mention the message she left, or ask her whether she had plans for later on, but he didn’t. Wanting to delay him from leaving, she offered him a coffee. He accepted. She handed it to him, sugar and cream already stirred into the cup. He thanked her and kissed her cheek. Her heart soared at the feel of his stubble on her skin, the scent of his cologne.

“Good to see you again. Give me a call one of these days and we’ll hook up.”

“I will. Talk to you soon.” Claire was almost breathless as she watched him walk off. She hoped he was being aloof only because Carmen was around. She was happy, almost buoyant, just seeing his face again and knowing he was alive and safe.

“It’s nice that you broke up on good terms,” Carmen said and Claire privately hoped the breakup itself would soon end on good terms. “Always good to see.”

“Amicable is always best,” she said, thinking, since it keeps the door open to go back. Now that she’d seen him again she couldn’t picture them being permanently split.

“Anyway, onto a better topic. Are you going to be taking that world literature course?”

“I can’t wait, I’ve heard it’s really good.”

“Excellent! I’ll be having Almeida again for … oops, sorry, you go ahead, I’m not in line.” Carmen stepped aside for a couple who wore matching plastic slickers of the kind handed out at sporting events. Underneath, they wore identical beige plaid shirts. She’d seen a few couples in her life who dressed in the same clothes, and always thought it was weird.

“I’ll have the strawberry and banana,” the man said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

The woman took a paper napkin, wiped her own glasses with it, put them on again and was still squinting at the menu. “The uh, the strawberry and banana. I’ll have that too.”

Claire giggled as she caught Carmen behind the woman, rolling her eyes. I’ll see you later, she mouthed, and trotted off. Claire served the couple, who kept under the shelter of the awning while they ate. As soon as they were gone, a mother with two children came up to the window. The sun had come out, Claire noticed. She could see cracks of light blue sky, blazing yellow where the sun was bursting through.

At last, her boss arrived to cash out. Claire snatched up her purse and confirmed she’d be doing the later shift tomorrow, from four to eight-thirty. Only when she was outside again, marching up the steps towards the street that ran in front of her apartment building, was she aware her purse felt lighter than it should. Her wallet and phone were still inside. So were her keys. But the notebooks were gone. Had she brought both to work with her, or just the one with the ringed binding? She struggled to remember.

She closed her purse and straightened up again, horrified. She checked behind her and saw nothing lying on the ground between her current spot and the booth. She stared blankly at her apartment building and only now did she register Adam waving at her from across the road. He waited for a white SUV to whiz past, and dashed across. She stayed stiff as he wrapped his arms around her, hugged her close, nuzzled his face in her hair, and told her how much he’d missed her. Where had those notebooks gone? One she could see dropping or forgetting, but not both.  

#fiction #new adult fiction #cosy mystery #mystery fiction #mystery novel #family feud #small town setting #dark secrets #revenge #abandoned mansion #abandoned building #antique store #love triangle #missing person #unsolved death #whodunnit #marionette #puppeteer #books #writing

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Part 2 of Size Makes A Difference

Gif credit @haileyupstead

Requested on wattpad.

I hope you all enjoy.

Happy Reading Dollies.

Taglist @nocturnalherb16

While Jay was at work you were finally going to do it. You were finally going to take they pregnancy test that has been in your drawer for weeks. Over the past couple weeks you felt different. Lightheaded, nauseous, breast hurt and your ankles started to swell. You thought it was your time of the month but when it didn't happen you knew something was up but you didn't tell Jay about it. You didn't want to worry him.

So you sat at on the edge of the tub waiting for the ten minutes to be up and you would see if your life was going to change or not. You kept looking at your watch over and over trying to get it to go faster which didn't help the anxiety growing in you.

You thought about what you would have to give up. Your job for starters, at least they'll put you on desk duties. Boxing, drinking, kicking someone's ass. But then you thought about what you gained. A baby, someone that will love you unconditionally and someone that you can teach. Plus you'll be a bad ass momma.

The timer went off and you took a deep breath picking up the stick.  Positive. The anxiety grew but you were to excited to even notice, you couldn't wait to tell Jay and the team.

Of course you had to do something big for the baby announcement so you went to the best bakery you knew, order a cake in the design you wanted. Stopped by the party story and the craft store. This was alot to do in the amount of time you had. See the team was about to go hunt down a big criminal based empire and you wouldn't see any of them for awhile. Voight put you on leave since you were "sick", he didn't want you getting everyone else sick so you worked from home to help.

You spent the next three hours getting everything together and perfectly planned out, before going to the station you stopped but the bakery and picked the cake up. It was awesome, Jay was going to love it.

Walking into the station Trudy greeted you with a smile.

"I see someone's feeling better"?

"Much better. Why don't you come up stairs I have to tell you something". You motioned for her to come and she giggled along the way.

"Y/N". You heard Voights voice before you even topped the stairs.

"Hey guys".

"What are you doing here? Everything okay"? Jay rushed over, checking your forehead with the back of his hand.

"I'm great. I actually have something to tell you all so gather around". Putting down the cake, you pulled out the bag of tiny boxes in your purse, handing everyone theirs own special box.

"Don't open them yet. I just want to say thank you all for being the best family i could ask for. You've supported me since I came here and I don't know what I would do with out you guys".

"You got another job offer didn't you"? Voights voice boomed through the room, he sounded quite upset.

"No, nothing like that. I'm just going to need that support now, more than anything. So you can opened your boxes". You watched as they opened their boxes, you opened the cake box in front of you.

"No freaking way". You heard Adam say with a chuckle.

"I can't believe it, you're pregnant"? Jay wrapped his arms around you squeezing you tight, placing a kiss on your lips.

"You're not sick, you're pregnant? Why did I let you take the week off"? Voight chuckled as he smiled at the little plastic sheriff's badgeb that said, sheriff grandpa. Voight was like a dad to you and Jay so you thought it was fitting.

"Sheriff grandma? You gotta be joking". Trudy scoffed with a laugh.

"Kev and I have uncle sheriff". Adam raised his badge.

"I got daddy sheriff". Jay kissed the top of your head.

Jay smiled as he saw the cake "There's a new sheriff in town, kicking butt and taking names in September 2020".

"The cake is adorable Y/N".

"Thanks, I thought it would be cute since we're all cops. We'll have another one to train".

"I can teach it to fight, I'm a good fighter". Adam was showing us his moves. Kevin started pushing him away.

"The baby will stay away from you unless it needs a good place to eat". Kevin said with a wink.

"Congratulations Jay, Y/N. You're on office duties until you take your maternity leave". Voight nodded and went back to his office.

"Sounds great".

"Congrats, I can't wait to spoil this baby". Trudy hugged you.

"So what do you think"? You turned to Jay.

"I'm excited. Little nervous, kinda scared but I'm so ready for us to be parents. I can't wait to have this baby".

"Same. I hope we raise this kid right".

"We have the best team to help us". Jay and you looked at the people you called family doing what they did best fighting crime and joking around.

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