simonsrosebud

[simonsrosebud]

tbh im just now realizing how young neil was when he went through everything in the series. and in retrospect it’s the funniest thing bc imagine being 19 and ur biggest opp is the JAPANESE MAFIA😭😭 bro was PARANOID

[simonsrosebud]

i’m screaming into the abyss god bless u for these

my final designs for both Jeremy and Jean!

(still not finished reading, i'm about 65% through!)

[simonsrosebud]

my final designs for both Jeremy and Jean!

(still not finished reading, i'm about 65% through!)

[simonsrosebud]

jeremy knox how is jean meant to survive you

[simonsrosebud]

twitter doesn’t disappoint

[simonsrosebud]

the Andreil scraps nora fed us were 🤌🏻✨ Andreil are canon protective boyfriends cos what do you mean Neil crosses the court to retaliate for someone fouling Andrew?? What do you mean Andrew throws himself out of his goal like "all hell was at his heels" to protect Neil??? What do you mean they look for each other in lingering looks and matching armbands and cigarette smoke "whenever one fell out of orbit for too long"???? Are you trying to kill me?????? 😭😭😭

[simonsrosebud]

it’s kind of wonderful to watch Jeremy handle Jean’s trauma because the foxes are so used to each other being fucked up and problematic that when blood spills out of Neil’s locker and he says that he doesn’t want to talk about it they go okay fucked up but sure. Jeremy is so insistent with Jean’s issues and thinks that he just needs to talk about it and pushes and pushes and just begs him to tell him what’s going on. Because that’s the world of trauma he’s used to. He’s used to a problem shared is a problem halfed and being a shoulder to cry on that when Jean says “I’m traumatised” he thinks, “talking about it will make you feel better.”

He handles Jeans trauma with this messy heavy hand and he means so well but his version of trauma, his perspective on trauma is so far removed from the trauma the foxes or the ravens are used to. Every single minute detail Jean reveals is shocking and insane and fucked up and he’s barely scraping the surface. How do you tell someone who thinks you can talk through your problems that you’re afraid of water because you were waterboarded, or that you are so used to your body being used that it’s no longer that Jean feels as if he deserves his abuse, it’s no longer that he thinks his punishments were normal. They are facts. They are core unmoving beliefs so ingrained in him they are set into his skin like the tattoo on his cheek. They’re going nowhere. Jeremy will never understand that, and every thing Jean tells him disturbs him more than the last. He’s so empathetic and compassionate - I think if Jean told him the truth, it would destroy him. It would destroy his spirit, his belief in others, his faith in kindness. It would make him angry. It would make it impossible not to annihilate the Ravens for what they did in the dirtiest, meanest way possible.

And I cannot wait to watch that all happen.

[simonsrosebud]

poor wymack is traumatized by neil's terrible clothing

[simonsrosebud]

Hilarious dynamic. Jean will follow whatever the coaches tell him, he knows they won't let him fight, and he asks anyway. Way to make your anger known.

[simonsrosebud]

Seeing neil from an outside pov actually 100% makes it clear why andrew was as intrigued as he was. Because we as readers could see how stressed neil was 24/7 but seeing him from jean’s perspective really helps to see how absolutely off the rails he seems if you don’t have the insider understanding of his character

[simonsrosebud]

Wymack is just picking up traumatized kids and being like ok is anyone else gonna father them?? and doesn't wait for an answer just carries them around forever even if they're french

[simonsrosebud]

was ready to evade the FBI so Jean could grieve his little sister

there’s something about Neil subconsciously holding onto runaway tactics just because it’s all he’s known that gets me

Neil came in, caused general chaos. Gave the fbi agents attitude, ordered Thai and a hit, was ready to evade the fbi so Jean could grieve his little sister, framed a whole different crime family, and dropped Jean back home like nothing happened and I love him for it.

[simonsrosebud]

still giggling over jean thinking the raven training methods are the norm, and the trojans are weird outliers

he is like “the reason people think the trojans are weird and different is because they let their players have too many freedoms, like autonomy, running their own errands, owning clothing, going outside. it’s not because they have good sportsmanship. that’s just a weird side effect”

[simonsrosebud]

Neil makes SCRAPS of appearances in tsc but he serves cunt and leaves. Absolute legend. I get now why Jean was at his wits end with this guy. He orders drinks and food, makes fucking fbi agents WAIT for him then sits in an INTERROGATION and eats take out as if it's just another day for him. Jean probably got 20 separate heart attacks because of this man and then this gremlin goes ahead and orders a hit on the behalf of a man he knew only in pain while sitting in a very public diner and waiting on fbi agents to show up and drag them away.

Neil Fucking Josten, Andrew has his hands full. Never a dull day with him.

[simonsrosebud]

neil’s insistence on hiding his scars for as long as possible bc he knows it’s not normal and the foxes Will stare and ask questions vs jean just stripping in front of the trojans bc he expects his teammates to ignore his abuse since it isn’t their business... neil flinching from wymack's loud voice bc he doesnt trust men old enough to be his father vs jean holding his racquet out for rhemann to hit him after "failing" to do what he said he would do because he expects to be beaten to a pulp by his superiors and because "contrition, coach"... it makes me sick!!! i need to wrap them up in a warm blanket forever

[simonsrosebud]

Too bad Andrew wasn’t there to see Neil make the fbi wait for him to finish his little drinky drink. He would’ve loved that shit

[simonsrosebud]

imagine being the fan who bought kevin day gas and then he disappears from the media and seemingly off the face of the earth