Underwater
Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader
Description: Kaz and reader are in an established realtionship and when they think they succeeded in the Heist, something goes wrong.
Genre: Angst/Fluff
Word count: 1,8k
To Kaz, loving her was like drowning. His head would spin, his palms would sweat under his leather gloves, he would be confused. But it also felt like a first mouthful of air after he broke the surface. His heart would skip a beat and he would let out a first, shaky gasp of relief that he finally was able to get out from under the water. She didn’t make it easy to love her, her own traumas, her own nightmares and demons that couldn’t let her rest, her own vengefulness and personal vendetta against the world. But Kaz couldn’t and didn’t resist when he realized what all of those weaknesses meant. He was taken aback when he realized that he had a heart to give her. And she was happy to nurture and keep it safe.
When the Crows got the job to do they knew they might not come out alive from this. All seven of them were aware of the fact that death might be lurking behind the corner. So when Inej got injured y/n felt death on her shoulder, creeping closer and closer, making itself known in her every thought.
“Saints, Inej,” y/n exclaimed when she noticed that the Suli girl finally opened her dark eyes. Her brown face looked worn out and the remains of her blood could still be seen on her pants. Y/n delicately helped her friend up and propped her tensed body up the wall. The ship was swaying, the light bulbs weren’t giving much light, but she could see how Inej was grimacing when she moved her limbs. “You scared us all.”
“I scared myself,” Suli replied, touching her thigh. She hissed when her finger made contact with a scratch. Nina was a decent healer but even her powers were limited. “Are we safe?”
“As safe as we can be with this lunatic,” y/n smirked, leaning against the wall beside her friend. She tried to make a light out of the situation, but it was hard when she had been helping Nina bring colors to Inej’s face. She didn’t think she had taken a full breath in since Inej got attacked. “Somehow he figured we would be ambushed.”
“One would think he’d done it himself just to prove his point,”
“It’s Kaz, I think he himself doesn’t entirely know what is in his own head,”
“I reckon you would know best, y/n,” Inej smirked in her direction, her eyes glowing when she noticed how y/n’s cheeks grew redder. The girl rolled her eyes and got up.
“I will go fetch Nina, she’ll be thrilled you’re awake,” y/n smiled at Inej, taking her in once more to make sure she could be left alone.
“Coward,” Suli sing-songed.
“Stay still and do not go anywhere, you unbearable creature,”
“You and I will have this talk one day, I hope you know,”
“Dear Ghezen, have mercy,” after this she left and went to look for the Heartrender. She found Nina walking around the dock, Jesper keeping her company. They looked anxious and Nina’s palms were slightly shaking.
“Y/n!” Jesper exclaimed, “Is Inej okay?”
“She woke up, actually,” the girl said, sitting on one of the wooden steps. “I think you should take a look at her wound, it opened up a bit.”
“Yes! Yes, of course,” Nina shot to her feet, running to the room where Inej was sitting.
“Is Kaz okay?” y/n asked the Zemeni boy, his eyes were locked on the newest addition to the Crows. Wylan, on the other hand, was fidgeting. The boy couldn’t sit still and he was looking guilty, as if he had betrayed himself. Y/n wasn’t surprised regarding his upbringing. She hoped he would get used to it, being disappointed with himself that is.
“Go and ask him yourself, he nearly threw me overboard when I asked if he wanted to change his shirt, I’m not risking anything,”
Y/n nodded and made her way to the bow, where the Dirtyhands was standing. He looked lost in his mind, his hand clenched on the railing. His hair was disheveled and the wind didn’t seem to be helping with that. Not like he paid any mind to it, anyway.
“How are you holding on? I heard you were the one that carried Inej onto the ship,” she started, trying to come as close to him as she could, but still give him his space. “She’s alive thanks to you, Kaz.”
“I know,” he remarked. Y/n breathed a laugh, of course, she didn’t expect no other answer. “But I can still feel the wetness of her blood,” he started, his breath heavy and voice no louder than the sound of the wind. “I really tried not to drop her.”
“But you didn’t, Kaz, she’s alive and what’s most important she’s okay,” she smiled at him, she put her own palm on the railing, so that he could feel her closeness, but not close enough to overwhelm him.
After this night everything was left to the fortune. Inej prayed to her Saints everynight, Jesper worshiped his revolvers, Matthias was brooding and making faces whenever one of them so much as mentioned their destination, which was often enough that y/n was afraid that his face would stay in that way, Nina sang some old, Ravkan songs, Wylan and Kaz were going through the maps all over again and y/n couldn’t shake off the feeling of certain energy creeping from behind the corner.
So when they somehow succeeded in their plan, after many, many close encounters with death, she was relieved to feel every bone, every muscle, every hair on her body. She was sore from head to toes and for the majority of the journey to Ketterdam she was sleeping. She felt like she was on fire.
However, when they eventually docked to the Fifth Harbor and were ready to receive their payment everything went to shit.
“The deal is the deal, Van Eck,” Kaz said, the first signs of the storm were in the air. Y/n shivered looking around her friends’ faces. Everyone seemed confused, including her, and tired.
“Not much of a deal if no one besides us knows about it,” the merchant’s voice was filled with pride, his face full of arrogance. “I didn’t know you were so naive, Mister Brekker. Fortunately, none of you leaves the island alive, so no one will hold me accountable.”
“You’re wrong,” Jesper countered, his hands ready to take out his guns.
“Am I?” Two things happened at the same time, the ship behind them, the same one that they’d arrived on, blew up and Van Eck’s people started shooting. The force of the explosion was so big that y/n couldn’t keep her balance. She fell on her palms and knees feeling the hard concrete underneath her. She looked around her making sure that everyone was okay. Her eyes stopped at the silhouette of Kaz and Van Eck. She tried to warn Kaz, but to no avail. Y/n felt a pair of arms lifting her up, Jesper’s scent hit her nostrils. She got up as quickly as she could with his help and she found a box to hide behind.
“Jesper, cover me,” she whispered, the Zemeni looked at her, perplexed.
“Always,”
Whatever she wanted to do, it was stupid. Probably the most stupid thing she had ever done. She left her shelter and tried to get closer to the place where Kaz was still having a conversation with the merchant. She carefully went along the dock’s line so as not to fall into the canal. She kept the pistol hidden to prevent the guards from shooting. She creeped closer and closer and she could hear their words as clear as the storm over her head was allowing, still minding how close to the canal she was.
“You have too many weaknesses, Brekker. She for instance is one of them,” Van Eck motioned to his man. “Take care of her.”
Then the hell broke loose. Y/n didn’t know where she was supposed to look, everything happened so abruptly. Both her and the guard lifted their guns, aiming. Y/n fired but even with Jesper’s help, her shot wasn’t good or quick. She felt the knifr hitting her and hot, white, flashing pain radiated in her shoulder. Tears shot to her eyes but she didn’t let herself scream. She swayed on her legs, then a second knife hit her. She fell and kept falling. She hit the water.
She realized that the feeling of death she had experienced was inevitable. She was meant to die on this trip and once she had managed to escape its arms, but this time it looked her straight into the eyes. She tried to swim back to the surface, however her arms felt as if they were made from the lead. On top of that she was losing too much blood, too quickly. She prayed even though she wasn’t religious. Eventually, after what felt like hours, she closed her eyes, expecting death soon.
Unexpectedly, she felt two arms pulling her out of her slumber, she opened her eyes noticing Kaz. Kaz, who almost drowned himself. Kaz, who dove right after her. Y/n let herself smile at the thought that he cared so much for a person who might die in a few minutes. They hit the surface, taking big gulps of air. Kaz screamed at Jesper to help him, but y/n understood only every other word. Jesper and Matthias helped Kaz to put y/n on the dock and then helped him get out of the water. Kaz took off his gloves and his heavy coat. He put the latter over his girl’s body and he let her lean against his own body.
“Nina,” he barked, “I need you to take out those blades.”
“She lost too much blood, Kaz,”
“She will heal herself, pull them out,” he hissed, trying to bring y/n around. She was pale, but her lips still had their pinkish color. “Don’t die on me, y/n.”
“Matthias, give me a cloth, until she’s conscious she won’t be able to do anything with her power,” Nina ordered, kneeling beside y/n. “We need to stop the bleeding.”
When the Grisha pulled out the first knife, the wounded girl hissed through her teeth. “Do not move,” Kaz said, his voice calm, but everyone could hear a hint of relief. “You’ve lost so much blood.”
“You jumped after me,” she whispered, her words only loud enough for him to hear. “Kaz–,”
“Shh, love,” his eyes softened, but he didn’t dare to touch her. “I couldn’t have lost you the same way I’ve lost him.”
Y/n gasped, touching his palm.
“I didn’t know Kaz had feelings,” Nina commented, getting up. “We need to patch y/n up and then we can take our revenge, so you’d better heal fast.”
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