#just my mind deciding to redirect my post on depression

[princington]

...If I look away you might disappear again.

#avatrice #other ava au #ava silva #beatrice #my art #listen............ #warm up done time for work 😤 #only cause i saw but no fic for other ava au #just my mind deciding to redirect my post on depression

[lenievi]

[aos spones] post-Beyond snippet

I found a thing, it’s probably like 2+ years old, but... maybe I should write a post-Beyond fic one day... it’s spones, it’s just a snippet (it’s actually about 1 600 words lol), it’s set in an AU where Spock and Uhura never dated, so don’t get confused during the first scene. STID didn’t happen but what happened at that time was that McCoy’s father died.

---

“That is why I decided to redirect my efforts and continue his work… on New Vulcan.”

The words pierced McCoy’s chest as if a wild beast cut its claws into him and opened him up. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

“You…” He wet his lips. “You’re leaving Starfleet?”

Spock looked away.

McCoy’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions and questions. He grasped the one that seemed the safest. “What did Jim have to say about that?”

“I could not find the time to tell him,” Spock replied.

“Well, I can tell you he’s not gonna like that. Hell, I don’t know what he’d do without you.” Jim was clever and resourceful, but he needed someone to bounce his ideas off. McCoy sure as hell didn’t even try to humor him most of the time. “Me—you know, me, on the other hand, I’d—I’d throw a party.” It was weak. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

Spock gave him a smile. 

McCoy chuckled.

Spock shifted and their arms brushed. McCoy focused on the ring on his little finger.

“Three years ago, when my dad died… I wanted to leave. To continue his job,” he said quietly. “I didn’t join Starfleet because I wanted to. I saw a flier.” He huffed out a laugh. “Hell, even now I’m not sure I like it. But... I’m still here. Want to know why?”

Spock touched his cheek. Lightly, the tips of his fingers caressed along McCoy’s jaw before they stopped under his lower lip. 

McCoy’s eyes widened. “What’re you…” he breathed out.

“Leonard,” Spock muttered, pupils dilated, mouth slightly open.

The sound of McCoy’s given name, so foreign on Spock’s lips, startled him. McCoy looked at Spock. Really looked at him and grasped his shoulders. “My god, you’re getting delirious!” McCoy maneuvered Spock and lowered him on the ground, letting his head rest in his lap. “Stay conscious. We’ll move in half an hour.”

McCoy leaned against the cave wall and looked at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, still feeling the lingering sensation from Spock’s touch on his face. What was that? What the hell was that?

-

Spock’s blood loss was a problem. It prevented him from entering the Vulcan healing trance. And he needed it. Badly. McCoy hoped that Spock would be able to walk soon. If they left the rocky complex, perhaps his communicator would be able to pick up something. Someone. 

“Doctor,” Spock said softly.

McCoy looked down, noticing his fingers in Spock’s hair, tangled and gripping the coarse strands. He blinked, easing his grip. “Sorry.”

Spock raised his brow, and McCoy snatched his hand away. 

“Sorry,” McCoy repeated, avoiding Spock’s piercing eyes. 

Maybe he hit his head more than he initially thought.

Spock sat up. “I am able to move now.”

“Good.” McCoy stood up, brushing the dust away from his uniform. “Good.” He offered Spock his hand and pulled him up. “Let’s go.”

-

McCoy glanced at Jim. He stood alone, leaning his forearms on a high table, and watched the construction of future Enterprise-A. McCoy smiled into his glass. 

Since early afternoon, Jim couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t hide his smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. McCoy had groaned and grumbled, but hearing Jim’s deep laugh and seeing his genuine smile after months, was a weight off McCoy’s mind. Even if this time the Enterprise had disappeared in the cloud of swarm and left them mourning. As they said – every cloud had a silver lining, and if the result was a happy Jim, McCoy would take it with both hands, no questions asked.

He raised his glass at Jim’s back and drank.

The sofa depressed as someone sat on his left side. McCoy turned his head and met Spock’s eyes.

“You’re still here?” McCoy asked, eyes widening.

“An illogical question, Doctor, since you can see me.”

“Aren’t you in a good mood?” McCoy smiled, just a small upturning of his lips on one side. 

Eyeing the glass in McCoy’s hand, Spock said nothing. 

Three years ago, shortly before their five-year mission, Spock had found McCoy drunk in his apartment in San Francisco. They had never talked about it again, but McCoy hadn’t got drunk since then.

“I know my limits,” McCoy said, putting the empty glass on the table with a soft thud.

“I did not mean to imply—”

“You didn’t.” McCoy waved him off. He leaned against the back of the sofa, turning his body towards Spock. “What’s on your mind?”

“Your ring.”

“My ring? What about it?” McCoy frowned and examined his little finger, where a thick, white gold band was. His chest tightened as he thought of its previous owner.

“Three years ago—”

“No.” McCoy shook his head. “No. We’re not doing that.”

“Doctor—”

“I have a meeting at Yorktown’s Medical Center tomorrow morning,” McCoy said, ignoring the drop in his stomach. “I should go.”

As McCoy stood up, Spock caught McCoy’s wrist. 

“I apologize.” He tugged at McCoy’s hand. 

McCoy lost his balance and fell on the sofa, his shoulder slamming into Spock’s chest.

Spock let out a tiny hiss through his teeth.

“You okay?” McCoy asked, moving, his thigh brushing against Spock’s. 

Spock’s hand moved toward his side with a jerk before landing on his thigh, fingers curling into the fabric.

McCoy saw red. “Why didn’t you go into the healing trance?” He grasped the hem of Spock’s dark blue shirt and pulled it above the navel. The scar was an ugly green and brown, surrounded by bruises.

“My mind was otherwise occupied,” Spock said, avoiding McCoy’s gaze. “The scar is only a mild inconvenience. I’m not in danger, Doctor.”

“Mild inconvenience, my ass.” McCoy’s fingers hovered above the injury, close, but not quite touching. If he were a better pilot, the skin wouldn’t be scarred. If he had better equipment, Spock wouldn’t have to be in pain. Restoring it to its original smoothness would be a question of minutes. 

Spock shifted – just a light touch against McCoy’s knee.

Blinking, McCoy moved, so his knee didn’t touch Spock’s thigh anymore, and said, “You and I are going to the hospital. Tonight.”

“That won’t be necessary, Doctor.” Spock straightened and smoothed his shirt, covering the exposed skin. “I will go into the trance tonight.”

“No, I want to examine you.”

“May I remind you that you have no authority here,” Spock pointed out. “And you cannot order me.”

Spock’s words hit McCoy with unexpected strength. Something awful coiled in his stomach as he remembered what Spock had told him back on Altamid. “Right, when are you leaving?”

“Doctor?”

“You said you were leaving Starfleet, didn’t you?” McCoy stood up. “So of course I can’t fucking order you, but it was my fault, and I need—”

Spock seized his arm in an iron grip. “Calm yourself,” Spock whispered in his ear. “The Captain is coming.”

“Problems, gentlemen?” 

“None, sir,” Spock said, letting McCoy’s arm go. “Doctor McCoy just forgot to control his emotions. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Bones?” Jim’s eyes were searching.

“He ignores his health. Nothing out of the ordinary,” McCoy parroted, keeping his voice even. This was between him and Spock. No point in dragging Jim into it.

Jim studied them with a calm look. “It’s a wonder you two didn’t kill each other on Altamid,” he finally said.

McCoy rolled his eyes. If Jim thought he was being funny, he had another thing coming.

“Captain, I apologize,” Spock said, not sounding apologetic at all, “but there is something I and Doctor McCoy need to discuss.” Then the hard lines around his mouth softened. “And… happy birthday, Jim.”

Jim smiled and patted Spock on the arm, not saying anything. “Okay, go. Talk it out.” He waved his hand in a shoo motion. “I don’t want to see you arguing tomorrow at dinner.”

“Are we having dinner, Captain?”

“Do you have other plans?” Jim asked.

McCoy probably imagined Spock glancing his way before saying, “No. Dinner with you and Doctor McCoy is acceptable.”

Yet there was something off about his tone. Maybe he planned to talk to Jim tomorrow, and he didn’t want McCoy there? Hell, McCoy didn’t want to be there. Just imagining Jim’s face shattering after hearing Spock’s decision to leave the Starfleet made him want to punch Spock in the face. Stupid unfeeling bastard. At least he didn’t spring it on Jim on his birthday. That was his only redeeming quality at the moment.

“Doctor, shall we?”

McCoy nodded his goodbye at Jim and followed Spock out.

-

They walked in silence through Yorktown’s dimly lit streets and corridors. McCoy tried not to think about the buildings above their heads, hanging like stalactites, almost threatening to fall and bury them. When an upside-down monorail crossed the sky, McCoy shivered, thanking anyone who would listen that Spock didn’t make a comment.

“Doctor,” Spock said when they reached an empty park. “I believe we started on a bad note earlier.”

McCoy stopped, waiting for Spock to do the same. “You told me you’d heal yourself. You lied.”

“I…” Spock looked up at the artificial sky. “I received a box of Ambassador Spock’s belongings.”

McCoy wet his lips. “I can see how that’d disturb you.”

“There were things I needed to meditate on,” Spock continued and turned around, finding McCoy’s eyes. “My decision to leave Starfleet might have been made in haste.”

McCoy froze. Spock’s eyes seemed like the only thing around. The only thing in the universe. Unflinching. Making McCoy drown in them. Why was it so important that Spock didn’t leave?

“Jim will be pleased,” McCoy said, his voice rough.

“I do not plan to mention it to him.”

“You don’t?” McCoy furrowed his brows.

“What he does not know, cannot hurt him.”

That McCoy could agree with.

“However, I am sorry to rob you of an opportunity to throw another party.”

“I don’t think I’m good at throwing parties,” McCoy murmured. 

Spock’s eyes were dark. Warm. The change, the softening after McCoy’s words, was almost invisible. On a different face, McCoy would miss it. But not on Spock’s.

“Perhaps it is… better there won’t be a need for it then,” Spock said softly. 

McCoy nodded, and another monorail passed above their heads. 

#spones #leonard mccoy #spock #star trek aos #my writing #look i read this and got a lot of feels idk even why #i believe i wrote this before i got really involved with the fandom and that's why i feel i didn't overthink as much #anyway even though it's just a snippet i hope you enjoy! #i think it's quite good actually. it still has a special place in my mind in any case

[coldsandles]

Hello everyone!

This is my first time posting, so I decided to very briefly introduce myself and list what I may possible write for!

I go by ComedicSackOfEggs on the internet, and I’m 18 years old. I enjoy reading fics, doodling my favorite characters, and writing short stories mainly for myself.

My main interests currently are My Hero Academia, One Piece, and Dragon Ball (very generic I know), so these are probably what I’ll be writing for.

Requests are: Open ✅

What I will write:

-Oneshots/Headcannons

-Imagines

-Sfw/Nsfw works

-Fluffs

-Smut

-Crossovers

-Action

-Minor drug use (basically just weed since it's the only thing I can write with experience lol)

What I won’t write:

-Angst

-Incest

-Noncon

-Extreme fetishes

-Racism/homophobia/transphobia/any form of bigotry

-Beastiality

-Shoutacon

-Extreme death

-Stories that involve Depression, Eating Disorders, Cheating, etc

-Works that include real life people/celebrities

-Hard Substance Abuse (Coke, Meth, Fent, etc etc)

Some important rules to lay out for requests:

1) Be polite! When you’re requesting and you’re friendly off the bat, I’ll be more likely to be inspired and motivated to finish your request!

2) When requesting, please use my Asks. This allows me to keep things organized, and keep track of what I have and haven’t done.

3) I will close my requests once I’ve reached my Limit of 10, and won’t reopen until the previous 10 have been completed.

4) If a request either doesn’t follow the guidelines that I stated or makes me uncomfortable, there’s a good chance that I won’t accept it and will simply delete it. Please keep the rules in mind when requesting.

5) I will write both Smut and Fluff. Because of this, any fics requested that have underage characters that are the focus will be AGED UP, meaning that the minimum age will be 18. Keeping this in mind, please don’t request any characters that are outright children (let’s say 14 and under) and ask for me to age them up, I will deny the request if so.

6) Please be clear about your request! Giving me guidelines makes the writing process much easier and will help quicken my pace! Not only that, but it allows me to be as close to what you want as possible.

7) While it is my goal to get to all requests in a timely manner, I won’t be doing the requests in any specific order. Instead, I will be writing whatever idea catches my interest and inspires me from the most to the least.

8) If a request is too similar to something I’ve already written, I’ll go ahead and redirect you to the previously existing page so I don’t have to rewrite anything.

9) Due to me being a college student, I won’t have too much free time on my hands. Because of this, please try to be patient with me when requesting and waiting for a request. It may take me a while to post, and I will occasionally take breaks that are indefinite just to get my work completed.

10) Feel free to reblog my stuff, but please DO NOT repost my works! This means no re-uploading my stuff to other platforms. If you think you see any of my stuff on a different website, please let me know!

One thing to note is that since my page will contain NSFW Works, please don’t interact with any nsfw posts as a minor! I don’t want to have to block anyone over it, so please just abide by this rule meant to keep both parties safe.

[snow-and-saltea]

About your personal post - people without depression can say weird and disheartening things about it because they don't understand, so when I was at my worst, I ended up talking instead to people I didn't know (like free helplines) because then if they said something unhelpful/upsetting, I didn't take it so personally and it didn't undermine a relationship. I could get the stuff off my chest, then when I felt a bit better, could then go back to communicating with people I actually knew. I don't know if this might be helpful but it definitely was to me, because people can accidentally be so awful without meaning to. That said, please do reach out for help in some form - things will improve even if it doesn't feel like it now. Sending you all the best <3

(i privated the personal vent post so this looks out of context but)

thank you for this really sincere and kind response anon :'))

mhmm. i think what helped ground me now, i guess, was the reminder that they're still trying to help me and their perspective is no more or less important than my own. and that they're not an evil or bad person (hence they aren't setting out to hurt me on purpose) and neither am i for disagreeing. if we have the same goal of helping me, the power to redirect or reroute advice is as much as in my hands as it with the other person. i think i made myself too passive of an object (something being done to me, as opposed to a subject, doing something in the world) and i was too caught up in the quagmire of my own mind about how i feel about being an object, the emotional politics of things and their role in this mental warfare ive somehow concocted, rather than if i had just switched gears to become a subject. is this explanation easy to follow? hopefully it does!! sjdhskdhskfjdkfk the way my mind works is not very easy to explain or understand because i am constantly very meta about my thoughts and it creates complications that i have to take time to unravel, so i decided to go for levity (kinda, i can never be quite as concise as normal people).

with that outta the way though, what you said did give me pause and i thought was really insightful, thank you! i think one of the reasons i found it difficult to disagree with them is because we have a history or connection of some kind that allows for misunderstanding to flower really easily, and because humans personalise everything, its not easy to be a detached, easy going person who is both balancing taking me seriously + being kind and understanding with no serious lines about where it should end bc of nebulosity (and that leads to feeling impatient and exhausted acting against your natural disposition or instinct. which is what i also felt i was the victim of, so to subject someone else to that situation would be hypocritical of me and so i know its not the right perspective i should latch to).

that kinda went into multiple strands of thoughts ajdhskdj but the bottom line is, yeah! i agree with your advice, its very helpful. i often feel fearful of going to talk to people who i know will agree and or understand my stance, because i am always very wary of behaviours that lead to false honesty for myself. false honesty as in... i can say whatever i want and it'll technically be the truth, but its not an accurate summation of reality or what actually happened, and so i always feel wary about confiding in people with just my side of the story because i worry about my influence on other people's biases that would lead them to agree with me, and i don't like being right on the sole fact that i was convincing enough (simply by virtue of being confident or emotionally charged and firm in my interpretation of reality / the situation). i think ill have to strike a balance between finding the appropriate and relevant amount of context to solicit advice, but also not too much perspective that i get muddled with ideas that are not my own and get confused on what are my feelings and what aren't. and also!! i guess!! i just need to have (temporary, but fruitful) trust in whoever im talking to that they are a person with their own life experiences that inform their judgement, and not everything hinges on me being completely unbiased (bc its an impossible bar to reach even at the best of times) and that they have their own reasonings that remain unaffected by how i speak. if there's a gap in information, they can ask it, and i can volunteer it, and there doesn't need to be me overexplaining everything at the same time with multiple parantheses and caveats jwhksjdkd its something im prone to doing.

now that im more clear-headed, i can see how both ways of asking advice can have pros and cons. asking advice from someone i don't know relies on the universality of "common sense" and social instincts/principles of what is appropriate and inappropriate and it can help to simplify the matter to the essential thing at the center most point, and it can help me figure out if i'm overcomplicating things by thinking too much about accommodating personality quirks and letting the wrong thing slide / personalising it too much w my own perspective. it risks oversimplifying a lot of things, but it also can be grounding with reminding me if a situation can / SHOULD be as straightforward as it looks, and all that.

whereas asking advice from someone i do know, its a lot more personal because that person probably knows things about me i don't or they know things about me that i overlook or disown / dismiss that they think are noteworthy. whether or not they're valid points of concern is another topic, but the point is, contextualising things and advice so that it is something that i will most likely follow / need to hear for me specifically is important because it gives more basis as to where they're coming from, bc they're not saying stuff blindly. although, yeah, they can be pretty hurtful when they come from or are delivered badly because i feel like. "why are you saying this to me knowingly!! why are you hurting my feelings on purpose!! don't you know i don't like that!!" and there's a higher standard i have for people i know / have a close connection to because its tangled in a lot of history. the same goes the other way around, i also find it difficult to disagree on a purely logical perspective of "i don't agree with what you're saying about this" and its hard for them to not feel like they're being dismissed or to not take it personally, especially if they were passionate about being helpful.

i guess it's just the balancing act we have to do, so there's no other way to do it than to do it, even if badly. its ... tiring and daunting realising the potential each individual has to cause hurt, but i just have to trust that the world will spin as it always does, and i have to spin along with it, albeit imperfectly and clumsily.

once again, thank you for going out of your way to send a kind message when i was in the Depths of it, i truly appreciate it. seeing your message in my inbox made me weepy when i saw it, i felt very touched. squeezes you, i hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you, friend 💛🐢

#yuu rambles #anon #augh. my thoughts are a bit scrambled here but i think i put this as coherently as i can manage #i hope it's understandable to you anon!! thank you again for being kind!! #therapy stuff #this ended up being longer than i expected.... in my head it was elaborate but easy to digest so i hope that came across

[anlheu]

Breaking the Taboo

It's been quite a while since I wrote something and posted good stuff on Instagram. For months, I've been knee-deep with my MA, finishing my TESOL and other online courses, doing some volunteer work, teaching my students, and working extremely hard to fight my depression.

Yes... you read it right. I'm battling depression that's why I can't post something positive. How can I spread positivity when even I couldn't feel it? False positivity is just not my thing.

It started about 6 or 7 months into the pandemic last year... I've been in and out of a dark place. From a different perspective given the current circumstance that we all find ourselves in, I could be considered as one of the lucky ones because for one thing I'm physically healthy among other things to be grateful for. Yet despite that, I find myself experiencing anxiety, sleepless nights, and demotivation. There are times when even getting up from the bed feels exhausting.

Being inside of your head is the hardest and scariest place to be when you are depressed. It feels like there's this part of you that's in a deep pit wanting to climb out but can't or don't know how. The emotions are just too chaotic and overwhelming. There were moments when I couldn't do anything productive for a week or so, and I would feel guilty and hate myself for that causing another bout of anxiety. Honestly, it's exhausting that you just want it to be over as soon as possible.

Every night I pray that when I open my eyes the next day, the fog would be lifted or at least I could get through another day no matter how hard it is. Every day, I wake up and do my best to fight the demon inside me. I do all sorts of stuff that I know could make me feel better somehow just to get by. At the back of my mind, I've been thinking that there are people suffering more than me, but they continue to live. It also occurred to me that I shouldn't invalidate my feelings... that it's normal to feel this way.

So about three months ago, I decided to conduct research on mental health as my course project. I've been thinking that since my mental health is threatened, I might as well learn more about it and raise awareness to help normalize conversations and break the stigma and discrimination regarding mental health.

I'm still in the process of climbing out of this pit by telling myself that I can't solve the world's problem, but I can somehow help if I redirect my energy in doing something good for me and those around me, to not react to every single thing that's out of my control, and to be open and honest about what I'm going through because I cannot advocate for something unless I share it, thus I'm putting this out here.

I think that admitting that you are depressed is one step to helping yourself get out of the dark place. People with depression aren't looking for pity...knowing that there's someone you can talk to without fear of judgment when everything feels overwhelming is good enough. This is based on my personal experience, I would still advice those who are experiencing severe depression to consult with experts.  

There are a lot of people fighting their silent battles. Maybe you know some or maybe you don't. But if ever that you have family or friends who seem to be withdrawing or disconnecting from the world, try to reach out and ask how they are. If they don't respond to you in what is considered an "acceptable" amount of time, let them because they may need the time to process their feelings and thoughts or to "re-energize." Just remind them that you are gonna be there whenever they are ready. Better yet simply make it a habit to reach out to friends and family every now and then because we may see them smiling and laughing, however, we are unaware of how they truly feel.

Depression is dangerous because you can't see it; it's a "virus" that cannot be cured by vaccine and may lead to irreversible consequence.

To help normalize conversations on mental health, break the stigma and discrimination, and genuinely help people suffering from various mental illness, you can...

EDUCATE YOURSELF. BE KIND. BE SENSITIVE. HAVE AN OPEN MIND. ADVOCATE TO ADDRESS AND TREAT NON-COMMUNICABLE DISEASES.

Depression does not equate to insanity.

#mental health awareness #breakthestigma #normalizementalhealth #communication

[violetren]

My first theory for volume 9 while the second half of volume 8 is fresh in my mind!

Volume 9 is gonna be the therapy season, but in the most traumatic you'll need different therapy afterwards kind of way. Instead of paying a therapist they're all just be bargaining with the universe like "yo I've had this trauma for a while, and I'm feeling pretty done with it. Here you take it back and uhhh I'll take a new guilt complex. Maybe a fear of falling? IDK, fuck me up bro."

The foreshadow-y Alice in Wonderland-esque fairy tale Oscar told to himself/Oz while in captivity is my guide post here.

Aaaand this is gonna get long so! 10 ideas of shit that's gonna go down next volume beneath the readmore, each one about 1-2 paragraphs each.

In the fairy tale the girl runs away from her problems into a new land, but because she never learned from her problems they just followed after her. Yeah? So first--second? First discounting the volume therapy theme theory.

FIRST BIG THEORY: The girl from the fairy tale was real, and she used the Spear of Creation. And like Weiss and the crew, she was fucking smart about her wording. She offered up materials that'd last even after someone else inevitably used the staff. IDK what materials she woulda used. Maybe there's a story about a missing continent we just haven't heard of yet? Maybe the Brother of Light's pool, since Salem seens to have claimed the Brother of Darkness's one but no sign of BoL's these days. Maybe there is a reason the land beyond Menagerie is so uninhabitable beyond desert + grimm? idk. Point is, it's a thing that happened, and since Ambrosius can't destroy/directly kill she's still in her wonderland. For themes sake I'm gonna call her Alice from here on out.

So Alice made a pocket dimension to flee from her problems from.

SECOND BIG THEORY: Her problems were relic related. She needed to hide em, and hide herself from Salem. Tbh I'm not sure how into this one I am. Maybe she had other shit going and some version of Oz was like "hey you don't want to be here, I have some property that I don't want to be here, lets make this happen!" THE POINT IS, the little pocket realities the relics are in, are aalllllll places in her pocket reality. When the team said "hey Ambrosius just make the middle ground into one of these type places" that's what he did, cause that's how he do. What better way to make sure it works like those places than to be kinda connected to em?

THIRD BIG THEORY: Ambrosius was buds with Alice once upon a time, but knew staying in her pocket world ultimately drove her crazy. He knew his middle ground worked like the pocket dimensions because it touched em or something, so he gave a vague ass warning not to fall, because he knew where they'd fall to.

Back to the fairy tale. It's implied Alice was never able to leave/give up her wonderland because she never learned from her mistakes.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 1: RWBY + Jaune can't figure their way back to reality until they adress a major personal issue and break out of whatever cycle it's got them in. This one I feel is shaky because they all have such different issues and are in very different places with each of them, trying to do one big arc on em would be too much of a mess. Plus it doesn't account for saving any of the many civilians that may have survived the fall.

FOURTH BIG THEORY VERSION 2: nobody can leave until Alice either leaves, dies, OR is convinced to let them go. As we're following good kind people this means we watch the kids try to give someone else therapy that THEY need. RWBY+J work through their shit through variations & combinations of witnessing mirrors of their struggles in Alice/other wonderland inhabitants, and just having time and space to slow down and breathe whether they want it or not.

FIFTH BIG THEORY: Alice is the "antagonist" of the underworld because she is the obstacle to overcome.

What about Neo you may be asking. Well I want her to let go of the revenge schtick, or at least redirect it back onto Cinder thus calling a truce with Ruby. However it's more than likely she's gonna be on team keep Alice as an obstacle at least as long as it takes to kill Ruby, and so Neo will be the "real" Antagonist™ within wonderland.

SIXTH BIG THEORY: Neo because of her unwavering determination to enact revenge is gonna die this volume. She'll be the comparison against which RWBY+J will be measured. As they grow and get closer to leaving she'll become more wrapped up with whatever strange classic wonderland logic this pocket universe has. Potentially depending on how things go with helping Alice, Neo may just end up trading spots with her, and end up trapped while everyone else goes back. But dead or trapped, I have a sad feeling this could be our last volume with Neo. My only hope of her surviving at this point is that she like Emerald switches sides, and in doing so joins Winter as a Cinder foil. While Neo grows and lets go of revenge and thus survives, Cinder stays dedicated to her own desires for revenge and other self serving instincts ringing her own death toll for either the end of the volume, or maybe somewhere in vol.10.

SEVENTH BIG THEORY: Ruby is gonna be grieving and maybe even getting full on angry about being expected to fix everything just because she's the optimistic one. She shouldn't have to deal with this brand and advanced level of childhood stealing just because she wanted to do what was right and won(lost) a genetic lottery for magic powers type anger. Jaune is going to have SO MUCH GUILT to work through, mostly the survivors kind. The bees will be experiencing couples therapy, they've both been pretty solid about individual growth leading up to this, Underworld will be them learning what it means to them to be partners now that they are so different to who they were. Weiss is different. Weiss is at first gonna feel like she's there just because it was a way to really shove all the other Schnee's into their therapy arcs and gave RBY+J neutral presence to rely on. Weiss is gonna go in the most stable of the bunch. But then, slow boil style, she'll start to realise how fucked up basically her whole life has been, especially upon realising that her "good years" with her new family have been spent getting sucked into being the last line of defense against the apocalypse, but will be too busy helping the others, so at the end of the volume when everyone else is actually doing pretty good and refreshed for the fight against Salem she'll only just be beginning her breakdown.

EIGHTH BIG THEORY: All this therapy shit is gonna be mirrored back on Remnant by the others grieving the percieved loss of the hearts of the team. Both sides of these story are gonna deal with some heavy shit, but the Remnant side is gonna be the depressed side, at least as long as it takes for Oz to tell them maybe the other's aren't dead leading to desperate attempts to get the staff OR the make desperate attempts to get the relics back anyways and inadvertently find out from Ambrosius what is up. But anyways. Winter is gonna be dealing with survivors guilt and the loss of both her little sisters (friends are great but Penny was little sister zoned and it's a hill I am prepared to die on. good sisterly relationships are friendships too). Nora is gonna be doing her self discovery thing. Ren is gonna be building on his end of vol.8 developments. Oscar will continue his grappling with the merge stuff. Qrow and Willow might get forced into AA. Whitely is gonna learn his own definition of being a Schnee instead of what his dad taught him.

NINTH BIG THEORY (OR FOURTH VERSION 3): The other way they get out is QORN obtain and use the staff to bring them home, potentially by trading enemy lives for them.

BONUS CONSPIRACY THEORY: QORN if presented with needing to trade for their loved ones & lost civilians have a lightbulb moment and decide hey why not trap Salem in a pocket universe since that is a thing Ambrosius can make? Like, if this bitch hasn't budged on her not learning to appreaciate life and humanity or whatever (which I'n pretty sure is the other way to break her curse instead of stopping remnant from turning) then she's a prime candidate for shoving into a personal reality that you can only escape if you can face your problems long enough to break the cycle they have you in. It'd be really fucked up but I think it might actually be possible to run the place using her as her own material component. Like kill her over and over and redistribute the energy to make the pocket world, but because god given power + Ambrosius can't actually destroy she just reforms anyways. MIght take a few hundred thousand deaths but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or use the BoD oasis/grimm pools to make a world that mirrored the one she chose to live in on Remnant really make it hard for her to break that cycle....

Anyways.

TENTH BIG THEORY: Working on the idea that the relics are actually hidden in secret protected pockets of the underworld RWBY+J are gonna have a secondary quest of trying to get the relics from this side, and either finding a new place to hide them ages away from their vault doors. If you wanna make it a FOURTH VERSION 4, they're specifically gonna seek out the sword of destruction (HOLY VORPAL BLADE ALLUSIONS BATMAN) either with the intent of cutting their way out underworld--ahem wonderland--or with the assumption that someone is inevitably gonna have to open the vault door, because that's just how things be these days and they'll be able to cross to Vacuo from there.

#chirping wren #rwby #rwby theory #hello hiatus my old friend #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xaio long #jaune arc #neo politan #ambrosius rwby #lie ren #nora valkyrie #emerald sustrai #winter schnee #cinder fall #schneeblings #bumbleby #salem rwby #oscar pine #whitely schnee #willow schnee #qrow branwen

[simplybakugou]

OKAY I JUST READ YOUR SHORT STORY ABOUT BAKUGO HAVING A QUIRKLESS KID AND CRAZY IDEA BUT WHAT IF MIDORIYA, WHO’S STILL IN TOUCH WITH BAKUGO, WAS LIKE A CLOSE FAMILY FRIEND OR SUM AND GOT ALONG GREAT W KATSUO. idkidk but im sure deku would truly understand how katsuo feels so he’d kinda take him under his wing and “guide” him as he grows up AND MAYBE ONE DAY PASSES ON ONE FOR ALL TO HIM ? CRAZY IDEA BUT IT JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD WHILE READING IT.

⋆ PAIRING: dad!bakugou x female!reader ⋆ WARNINGS/TAGS: swearing; angst ⋆ WORD COUNT: 6126

A/N: I was already planning on making a part 2 for this but you guys beat me to it! And this is so long, I didn’t mean for it to be so long but so many ideas kept coming to mind lol. This is also my way of contributing to Bakugou’s birthday because I’m too depressed and sad to do anything else for him :) Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy :)

Link to part 1 is here!

✐posted 04.20.2020✐

“You’re all done!” You exclaimed, patting one of your patient’s back as you wrapped up the bandage. “Remember to not put too much pressure or overwork your arm otherwise it won’t heal properly. Please contact the hospital if you have any other abnormal pains.”

The young woman smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Bakugou-san. No wonder you’re so famous!”

You smiled and thanked the woman as she exited the room. Your nursing assistance, Hana, walked into the room, holding her clipboard of all of your appointments in hand. “Hana, do I have any more appointments?”

Hana looked down at the clipboard, shaking her head. “No, you’re clear for the afternoon.”

You nodded, thanking her and pulled your phone out from your pocket as you walked out into the hallway. There were numerous missed calls from Aldera Junior High, Katsuo’s school. A sigh escaped your lips, already knowing that the meaning of the call couldn’t be good. You dialed the phone number and called back.

“Hello, this is the office of Aldera Junior High, how can I help you?” A man’s voice asked from the other line.

“Hi, my name is Bakugou Y/N and I was just calling back after receiving some missed calls from this number.”

“Oh, Bakugou-san! Let me redirect you to Principal Hirai. She will answer your call shortly.” The line was momentarily cut off until you were redirected to the principal’s phone.

“Hello, this Principal Hirai. Is this Bakugou-san?” 

“Yes, it is. Sorry about not answering your previous calls. I had a few appointments to take care of at the hospital here.” You took off your white lab coat and sat down in your office.

“No worries, I understand how busy and hard you work. I called because there was an… incident here.”

You furrowed your brows. “Incident? Is it about Katsuo? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine but he did get into a fight with another student here. His mother is here in my office now and I would like you to come as well. I tried calling your husband but he is currently on duty so that’s why I called you,” Principal Hirai said.

“I understand. I’ll get there as soon as I can.” You hung up, setting your phone down on the table. Your fingertips rubbed small circles into your temples as you could feel a migraine forming. Katsuo, despite being a carbon copy of his father, had your temperament, making him calmer and less aggressive than his father. That was why you were shocked to find out he had gotten into a fight, something that is not in his character. 

You grabbed your coat, phone, and bag, approaching the front desk of the hospital. “Hana, call me if I get any other appointments. I’m taking my lunch break early.”

Hana nodded, waving good-bye to you as you made your way to your car and Aldera Junior High.

***

The doors were light as you pushed open the doors to the main office of the school. A man, most likely the one who you were on the phone with, greeted you. “Bakugou-san? You can take a seat right there. Principal Hirai will be right with you.”

You nodded, looking over to where he was gesturing. In the seats was your son who had a tissue in his right nostril to stop the bleeding as well as a bruise on his right cheek. He looked up at you, his crimson eyes widening at the sight of you. “Mom!”

You sighed, walking over and sitting down next to him. You cupped his face in your hands, examining his face. “You don’t look too beaten up but that bruise will take a few days, maybe weeks, to heal.”

Katsuo looked at you with a puzzled expression. “So… you’re not upset?”

“Of course I’m upset!” You exclaimed. “Why would you get into a fight, Katsuo? It’s not like you to do something like this.”

Katsuo scoffed in a manner similar to Bakugou himself. “That bastard Watanabe is a piece of shit.”

You felt your eye twitch at the sound of your son cursing, normally reprimanding him for doing so but deciding not to now since he seemed so upset. “He was picking on a kid in class for not showing him the answers on the test so I just wanted to tell him off for picking on someone like that. But then he started getting all pissy, talking about me being shitty for not having a quirk and then he…”

Katsuo looked over at you, looking away after his eyes met yours. “Then he what, Suo?”

Katsuo sighed, looking down at his hands. “He started saying that I’m probably quirkless ‘cause ‘my bitch of a mother’s shit quirk was too weak to pass on’ and that it was ‘her fault for making such a fucked up kid.’”

Katsuo looked back up at you, holding your hands in his. “But your quirk is so cool, Mom! No one else thinks it’s shitty or anything! Everyone thinks that you’re amazing for protecting and saving so many people and they all admire you for it! I admire you for it! Even if you aren’t a pro, you’re my hero, Mom.”

You smiled at him, raising your hand up and caressing his blonde hair down. “When did I get such a sweet and caring son? You didn’t have to say anything, Suo, I’m proud of you for sticking up for your classmate.”

He smiled back at you, looking over to see the man at the front desk smiling at the sight of a mother comforting her son. Katsuo blushed, rubbing his neck. “I-It was nothing, Mom.”

The door labelled ‘PRINCIPAL’ in black, bold letters, opened up. Principal Hirai gestured at the two of you to come in and you both got up to enter her office. Inside was an older woman and a young boy, who was even more beat up than Katsuo with a large band aid covering the bridge of his nose as well as a black eye. It seemed like even quirkless Katsuo was capable of showing his strength and protecting himself. Katsuo sat down on the chair next to Watanabe and you sat beside your son.

Principal Hirari sighed, folding her hands together on the desk. “Thank you both for being able to come here today, especially you, Y/N, with your busy schedule.”

The mother scoffed, crossing her arms. “What? Being a little doctor means she gets more praise than me?”

“No, not at all, Aiko. But let me get to why I had you come here in the first place. From what I’ve heard from Mashiho, he was minding his business when Katsuo came over and kept initiating a fight. Then he punched his face, forcing Mashiho to have to fight back.”

Katsuo stood up from his seat, eyes widened and teeth clenched together in anger. “You liar! You threw the first punch! And you were the one who kept picking on Asahi!”

Watanabe rolled his eyes at him. “I didn’t do any of that, Principal Hirai. Who are you going to believe: the kid with respectable parents or the brat with a sad excuse of a father who uses his aggressive behavior to call himself a hero?”

Katsuo grabbed Watanabe by the collar, pulling him up to his feet. “I dare you to say that again, you fucking piece of shit.”

You stood up, pulling Katsuo back and making him sit back down. “That’s enough, boys. I’ve heard enough,” Principal Hirai said.

Aiko began comforting her son in her arms. “Oh, my poor baby! Hirai, as you can clearly see, that barbaric kid is the one responsible for all of this! But you can’t blame the kid for being like that, since his parents can barely take care of one kid, let alone two. I mean how many times has that behemoth of a hero caused damage to the press. He’s better off being a villain than a hero if you ask me.”

Your hands clenched into fists. “Good thing no one was asking you, ‘cause the next time you even think about insulting my son or my husband in front of me will be your last.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Principal Hirai commanded. “It’s clear to me what happened.”

“Good, so I’m glad that that brat will be taken care of,” Aiko huffed.

“No, the exact opposite will be happening,” Principal Hirai said, eyeing Aiko. She looked over at Katsuo, smiling. “Katsuo has never gotten into this kind of trouble. Nor have I ever gotten complaints about him from the teachers. In fact, they say that he will most likely be the valedictorian for this year’s class. I only expect good things from him and I can see that you and your husband have done an excellent job raising him and Suki, who also is doing well in her classes here. I also want to thank you and your husband for everything you do for the people and so selflessly as well.”

You smiled, bowing your head at her. “Thank you for your kind words and taking care of my kids, too.”

Principal Hirai nodded, her smile disappearing as she looked at Watanabe. “Mashiho, on the other hand has caused more trouble than any other child in this building. There have been numerous cases where he has bothered other students for his benefit. I’m sure that if Katsuo didn’t step up and defend his classmate, Watanabe would have continued this behavior. Therefore, I’ve decided to suspend Watanabe for three weeks.”

Aiko and Watanabe stared at Principal Hirai with wide eyes and they both jumped out of their chairs. “This is outrageous! Look at my baby, look at how beat up he is because of that little shit!”

Principal Hirai looked at Aiko with disgust. “I also advise you, Aiko, to learn some manners as well because I won’t allow any adult to address my students as ‘little shits.’ I won’t be changing my mind. Please leave my office and do not return.”

Aiko, who was enraged, got up and grabbed her purse in one hand and her son in the other as she stormed out the door, cursing as she did so. Katsuo snickered and you nudged his leg to make him stop. Principal Hirai sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I really do apologize for making you come all the way here for such a nuisance. I’m sorry to you, too, Katsuo for having to deal with this.”

Katsuo grinned at her. “It’s nothing. If I’m being honest, I only fought back ‘cause he talked shi– I mean bad about my mom.”

You ruffled his hair, bowing and thanking the principal. “Thank you so much. If it’s alright, I’d like to sign Katsuo out for the rest of the day.”

Principal Hirai nodded. “You can sign Suki out as well as my way of showing my thanks for everything you and Ground Zero do for the world.”

You and Katsuo thanked her once again, going out into the office and having the man at the desk call Suki’s teacher to have her come down. Suki was your daughter, two years younger than Katsuo. Unlike her older brother, she had inherited your healing quirk. The difference was that she inherited Bakugou’s special sweat where she is able to heal using her sweat. Although she still can’t use it to the best of her abilities, she does try and train it as best as she can.

As you signed your children out, Suki opened the doors with a large grin on her face, most likely due to the fact that she got to leave early which was practically every child’s dream. She made a face once she saw her brother’s bruises. “God, what happened to you?”

Katsuo rolled his eyes at his little sister. “I’ll tell you later.”

***

“And then, I used just one drop of my sweat and it healed her paper cut! Isn’t that great, Mom? I’m showing so much progress!” Suki said, her face lit up with excitement as she latched her arm around yours.

Katsuo scoffed. “Aren’t you supposed to be able to do more? You’re in sixth grade now and that’s all you can do?”

You nudged Katsuo’s side. “Progress is still progress. I’m proud of you, Suki.”

Suki grinned at you, sticking her tongue out at her brother. Katsuo flipped her off when you weren’t looking. It was bright outside, the sun beaming down on the three of you as you took your kids out. Although you didn’t want him to get into fights, you were proud of your son for sticking up for his classmate and defending himself even without a quirk. There was no doubt in your mind that he would become a great hero just like his father.

Katsuo extended his arm out in front of the two of you, causing you to stop walking. He pointed down the road. “There’s a bunch of reporters there. If we go down this way, they’ll just ambush us and ask a bunch of questions about Dad.”

You nodded, looking down the street that was a bit dimmer as it wasn’t exposed to the sun’s rays due to the ginormous trees on the sidewalks. “This road looks better. It’ll take us a bit longer to get back to the car but that’s fine.”

“Do you think we’ll run into Dad or another cool hero on the way?” Suki asked excitedly as the three of you began walking down the narrow, desolate road.

“It’s possible, but I’d rather not ‘cause heroes only show up in times of need and that would mean a villain would be here,” you said. 

“Do you think there are people out there that hate Dad?” Katsuo asked.

“I’m sure there are. Just as there are people who love and admire Dad for everything he’s done, there have to be people who despise him for getting in the way,” you stated. Your phone began buzzing in your pocket, looking at it to find an alert from a ‘villain movement app,’ one that notifies you when there is criminal activity in the area. WARNING: Level 5 villain, Gamma, is in the area. Be cautious.

“Gamma? Who’s that?” Suki asked.

“He was a villain that Dad and Uncle Deku faced a few years ago. He got away from police custody but no one’s heard from him since. We should get to the car as fast as we can before anything happens.”

“Too bad I got to you first,” a raspy voice called out from a few feet from behind you.

You felt like something was crawling under your skin as you clenched your hands around your kids’ forearms, turning around slowly to make eye contact with a pair of green beady eyes. 

“Mommy?” Suki called out to you softly. Gamma grinned menacingly at the three of you.

“Kids, run that way as fast as you can and get help from the first person you see,” you said in a low voice.

“What about you, Mom?” Katsuo asked, his voice trembling. Although he had never seen Gamma, obviously, he remembered watching the news feed of his father and Midoriya facing off against Gamma and it was difficult even with their combined strength. 

“Don’t worry about me, and go!” You said, your tone harshening in a way that Katsuo or Suki had never heard.

Suki grabbed her brother’s arm, running in the opposite direction. Katsuo looked behind him, your back faced him and he could see how you were shaking. Gamma took a step forward but you stopped him. “I’m your target, not them.”

Your quirk was in no way suited for combat but you knew you could distract him as much as you could just so that your kids could get away. Gamma grinned even wider. “You think I’ll let those little shits get away?”

Gamma used his quirk to create a solid wall in front of Suki and Katsuo’s path in a similar way that Cementoss’ quirk worked. “Your little husband and that All Might wannabe did this to me!” He pulled down his hood to reveal all of his hair singed off as well as burn markings all over his scalp. “I’m gonna make them feel every ounce of pain I felt.”

Suki began tearing up, clutching onto her older brother as Katsuo held her tightly against him. Gamma smirked. “I’m gonna kill all of you and make that explosion bastard feel so much agony he’s gonna beg me to kill him.”

Gamma moved his arm, his quirk activating to create a branch like substance, wrapping around Suki’s waist. Suki screamed as she was ripped from her brother’s grasp but Katsuo refused to let go of her, holding onto her arms. Although he didn’t have a quirk, he still trained with his father to maintain his physique. Due to Gamma’s strength to have been immensely depleted thanks to Midoriya and Bakugou, Katsuo managed to yank Suki from the cement branch.

Gamma grunted under his breath and you let out a sigh of relief. But it still was far from over. Gamma looked over to Katsuo, snarling at the sight of him. “You look just like him. I think I’ll play around with you until he gets here.”

Your eyes widened, looking back at Katsuo as another cement branch grabbed him this time. “Katsuo!” You and Suki called out in unison.

Suki attempted to pull her brother away like he had done for her but she wasn’t strong enough. The cement branch moved towards Gamma, holding Katsuo up in front of him. Gamma activated another cement branch, grabbing Suki and maneuvering it forward so it would grab you on the way. The substance felt like the side of the road was wrapping against your bare skin as the tiny rocks dug into you. You winced in pain and Suki began crying out.

Gamma laughed maniacally. “You all made it too easy! I expected it from the doctor but not from the brats! I expected at least one of you to have that bastard’s quirk!”

The crowd of reporters heard the commotion from the street over, moving to the source of the sound. With little time, the crowd continued growing as they all watched on, unable to do anything other than watch. 

The cement dug deeper as Gamma tightened its hold around all of you. The silent road was now filled with the sounds of the three of you screaming in agony. You gritted your teeth. “They’re just kids! It should be enough to take your anger out on me, not them! Let them go!”

Gamma shook his head. “I want him to feel as much pain as he can! I don’t give a fuck who gets hurt!” You continued baiting him, angering Gamma even further.

Katsuo grunted, trying to break his arms free or at least move them around. Think, Katsuo, think!

He remembered watching the video of Gamma fighting all those years ago and how he relied on the darkness when using his quirk. It was a long shot, but Katsuo knew he had to do something otherwise his family would be murdered. His fingers snuck into his pocket carefully, pulling out his phone and turning the flashlight on. He shined the light at Gamma’s eyes and Gamma screamed out, his eyes feeling like they were burning. His grip began to weaken and Katsuo broke free from his hold. He continued to shine the light at him as he went over to his mother and sister.

The only way to get them out would be to break the cement. Katsuo didn’t have any tools to do this, having to rely on his fists and the fact that Gamma was weakened by the light to break them free. So Katsuo began punching the cement, his knuckles cracking and bleeding as he pounded relentlessly. 

“Suo!” Suki cried out, tears streaming down her face.

With one final punch, Katsuo broke you and Suki free, falling to the floor. The crowd cheered for Katsuo as you grabbed your son and daughter and ran towards the crowd and away from Gamma. Katsuo continued to shine the light onto Gamma, sighing in relief as he thought they had gotten away.

“Not so fast, you shit!” Gamma yelled, releasing one more cement branch blindly, grabbing Katsuo. He dropped his phone, releasing Gamma from being burned by the light. You moved to grab your son, only to be stopped by the formation of a cement wall, one with numerous net-like holes so that everyone could see what he was about to do.

“All you bastards out there, feast your eyes!” Gamma called out to the crowd. He tightened his grip around Katsuo. Katsuo felt his ribs crack as he let out a blood curdling scream.

“Katsuo!” You called out, covering your mouth as you sobbed. 

Suki fell to the floor beside you, turning around at the crowd. “One of you fucking idiots call for help! He’s gonna kill my brother!”

The crowd flinched at the intensity and vigor of Suki’s voice. One of the reporters had gotten the attention of others around him, and the crowd managed to call over Midoriya who was initially informed about the situation, the perfect person for this. 

“Gamma!” Midoriya called down the road.

Gamma flinched at the sound. “That voice…”

Taking advantage of the diversion and Gamma’s lack of attention, Katsuo pushed his arms out, wriggling his body from Gamma’s clutches. He fell to the floor, groaning in pain. He was broken and bloodied. “Suo!” Suki called out.

Katsuo punched through the wall, managing to break free, falling in front of his mother and sister. He was panting, clutching his side in pain. 

“That damn hero…” Gamma grunted. 

Before Midoriya could make his way through the crowd, Gamma created another branch, one with deadly shards of cement that would surely impale you as he was trying to grab you this time. Katsuo saw this, grabbing his book bag that was strewn on the floor and flinging it at the branch. He threw his body in front of you and Suki.

“Don’t you fucking touch them!” Katsuo screamed, his voice cracking. 

Gamma smirked at him. “Look at you being all brave. Come to think of it, I did hear about Ground Zero having a quirkless son. And you think you can defeat me? You’re just a waste of space!”

“I know that I’m weak!” Katsuo yelled. “I’m quirkless, and I’ll never be as strong as my dad.”

“Suo…” You murmured, holding onto Suki. 

Katsuo looked at Gamma with an intensity in his eyes that matched that of Bakugou’s. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll just let you hurt the ones I love without a fight!”

Gamma scoffed, angered by the child’s tenacity. He created another branch, this time aiming for Katsuo. “It’s over for you, kid!”

“Not while I’m here!” Midoriya called out, finally breaking through the crowd and running full speed at Gamma. “You’ve hurt them enough!”

Gamma flinched as Midoriya used his quirk and landed a devastating punch to Gamma’s large body. His body cracked, weakening his powers immensely. He was already weak due to Midoriya and Bakugou’s efforts all those years ago. 

As Midoriya reprimanded Gamma, Katsuo collapsed to the floor, continuing to clutch his side. You moved to hold him in your arms. “Katsuo, don’t worry I’ll fix you up soon.”

***

“Will he really be okay?” Suki asked, sniffling as she continued to cry.

You smiled softly, caressing her hair. “He’s alright. He has a few broken ribs and broke a few fingers, too. But Katsuo’s the strongest kid I know.”

Suki’s fists shook in her lap as you two sat outside of Katsuo’s room in the hospital. “He’s such an idiot! He should know better than to hurt himself like that!”

You rubbed Suki’s back, leaning your head onto hers. You shivered at the mere thought of Gamma but was assured as the images of Katsuo’s bravery flooded your mind. You knew that he trained with Bakugou since he was a toddler but you had no idea he was so strong, especially without a quirk.

You were broken away from your thoughts as Midoriya walked down the hallway. He smiled as he saw you and Suki. “Are you guys okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks to you, I don’t know what would’ve happened without you, Deku.”

Midoriya smiled sheepishly, rubbing the nape of his neck. “I was just doing my job! Your son was amazing out there! Speaking of, is he awake?”

You nodded. “Yeah, he wanted a few moments alone to breathe and process what happened so I’m just waiting for Katsuki here.”

“I see. Is it alright if I see him?”

“Go ahead!”

Midoriya smiled at the two of you as he slid the door open, closing it behind him. Katsuo sighed from his bed. “Mom, I said I wanted a few moments alo–”

Katsuo’s eyes widened at Midoriya by the door. “Oh, sorry! I can come back later if you want.”

“No! It’s okay, you can stay!” Katsuo sat up in his bed, wincing slightly. “I actually wanted to thank you for saving us back there.”

Midoriya shook his head, sitting down on the chair beside Katsuo’s bed. “You did so much for your mom and your little sister and I don’t think you understand how you literally saved them. I’m sure if you hadn’t done what you did and protected them in the way that you did, they would have been harmed severely. But you used your own body to protect them.”

Katsuo blushed. Although he was close with Midoriya due to his connection to his father, this was the first time someone other than his parents was commending him for his strength. “I just didn’t want them to get hurt. They’re my family and I think that if I had just done nothing, even though I don’t have a quirk, I would have never forgiven myself if they got hurt.”

Midoriya smiled. “You remind me of myself when I was your age, you know.”

Katsuo’s eyes widened. “What? No way! You’re one of the top heroes, Uncle Deku! You’re as strong as Dad, there’s no way you were like a quirkless loser like me!”

“I was though.” Midoriya paused. “I was quirkless like you.”

Katsuo stared at Midoriya with genuine confusion. Midoriya raised his hands in front of him, showing the numerous scars on his hands. “I was born quirkless but I was given this quirk by someone else. It’s called One For All.”

“You were given your quirk? Is that even possible?”

“This is the only possible way. A long time ago, I met my hero, the past symbol of peace, All Might. He gave me this quirk.”

Katsuo got excited, his eyes shining with excitement. “All Might?! Dad always tells me stories about how cool he was back in the day! And he gave you his quirk? Was that why he retired?”

Midoriya shook his head. “No, you see, that’s not how it works. One For All can be passed down from one person to another and it has been for generations. All Might was given his power by his teacher, too.”

Midoriya looked down at his hands. “I was a quirkless kid just like you when I met him. I thought it was impossible for me to become a hero and so did All Might at first. But then, I tried to save your dad from a villain, even without a quirk, and All Might saw me do it. He saw my drive to save as many people as I could as the perfect thing for the next successor of One For All. So he passed his quirk to me.”

“Dad never told me about that… about the whole villain attacking him.”

Midoriya chuckled. “That sounds like Kacchan. It isn’t something he’s proud of, having to be saved by a quirkless kid. But seeing you throw yourself and do anything to save those that you love, it reminded me of exactly why I wanted to become a hero.”

Katsuo furrowed his brows in confusion at Midoriya. “I like hearing all these stories, but why’re you telling me all this? Isn’t this supposed to be a secret?”

“I’m telling you this because I want to pass down One For All to you.”

Katsuo stared at him with utter disbelief, not believing for a second that he was serious. “Uncle Deku, I really do respect you, but if this is a joke, I think you can stop now.”

Midoriya shook his head. “I’ve never been more serious, Katsuo. Kacchan and Y/N have been telling me how much you’ve wanted to be a hero and I’m sure a lot of people have told you that you wouldn’t be able to be a hero because you’re quirkless. But from one quirkless person to another: you too can become a hero.”

***

Bakugou’s feet moved at a pace that the rest of his body couldn’t keep up with. The moment he heard the news of Gamma attacking his family, he didn’t hesitate to drop everything to rush to your side and make sure all three of you were okay. Midoriya had texted him the location of the hospital and Bakugou cursed under his breath as he had decided to take the stairs to the fifth floor, which was where you were. He even used his quirk to move his body faster, finally reaching the fifth floor.

His crimson eyes scanned the halls and found Suki lying on two chairs outside of a room, you close beside her. You looked up, smiling after seeing your husband. “Katsuki!”

Bakugou didn’t hesitate to hold you in his arms, practically knocking the wind out of you. His calloused hands held you tightly, his head nuzzled into your neck. He was so glad to see that you were alright. Bakugou pulled away, examining your body once more for any external injuries. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m fine. Suki and I got away with a few scratches.”

Bakugou’s blonde brows furrowed in worry and concern. “And Suo? What about Katsuo?”

“He has a few broken ribs and fingers. He’ll be okay though.”

“What the fuck happened?”

You smiled at Bakugou. “Katsuo protected us from that villain, Katsu. He did whatever he could to protect us.”

Bakugou stared in silence and relief. He was concerned about his son, slightly aggravated with the fact that he had been so reckless, but he also knew that if Katsuo hadn’t stepped up, you and Suki would’ve been harmed to a degree that Bakugou didn’t even want to imagine.

“He’s in there with Deku if you want to see him.”

Bakugou nodded, moving over to Suki who was fast asleep. He sighed, knowing that she was okay before sliding the door open. Katsuo nor Midoriya heard the door open, Bakugou only seeing the sight of Katsuo in a state of utter shock.

“What the hell did you tell him, Deku?” Bakugou asked, closing the door and leaning against it.

Midoriya flinched at the sudden sound of his voice, turning around to face him. “Oh, Kacchan! I didn’t even hear you come in.”

Midoriya looked back at Katsuo who was looking at his hands, both his hands bandaged up as the aftermath of the day’s events. “Dad, do you think I can be a hero?”

Bakugou sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think what you did today is enough proof that you’re better than half the pros out there. Some of them hesitate to even save people, valuing their life above everything else. But you didn’t even think about that, and even though it was reckless, you’re the reason why Mom and Suki were able to get out of that unscathed.”

Katsuo let out a breathless laugh, his eyes tearing up as he whispered out, “So you think I’m a hero, too?”

“From how shocked you are now, I’m gonna guess and say that this shithead wants to pass down his quirk to you.”

Midoriya and Katsuo looked at Bakugou with shock. “How’d you know, Kacchan?”

Bakugou scoffed. “I wasn’t born yesterday. The moment I heard what happened and how you were there at the last minute, you probably saw that my kid was just like you all those years ago with that fucking sludge monster. And seeing as you’re here and Suo looks like he’s gonna pass out, I figured that’s what you told him.”

Midoriya turned his body around to face Bakugou. “So what do you think?”

“I think that my opinion has nothing to do with this. This is your quirk and it’s your decision for who you want to pass it onto. And it’s up to Katsuo if he wants this.”

Midoriya smiled, looking over at Katsuo. “You see, Katsuo? There are only a few people in my life that know about One For All and All Might and your dad are included. It’s all up to you.”

Katsuo clenched the sheets in his hands. The minute Midoriya had explained his situation, he knew exactly what he wanted. “I’ll do it. I’ll take One For All.”

Midoriya grinned. “Awesome! I knew I could count on you. But, I will say that I can’t pass it onto you for now since I still have so much to do with this quirk. But, I will train you and help your body be prepared for this quirk. I had no muscle training until All Might came into my life but I can see that Kacchan has prepared you well.”

“I–”

The door slid open abruptly, almost making Bakugou fall backwards. You put your hand on his back, pushing him back up. The three boys stared at you in shock and you looked at them in confusion. “What? You guys look like I interrupted a classified meeting.”

Midoriya shook his head vigorously. “N-No! You didn’t interrupt anything!”

“O-kay?” You sighed. “Can you two get out for now? I need to examine Katsuo’s wounds a little more before we can call it a night.”

Midoriya nodded, getting up to leave and sit on the chairs outside of the room. You walked over to Katsuo, sitting on the chair that Midoriya was sitting on. Bakugou unfurled his arms from his chest to his sides. “I’m gonna go talk to Deku.” You nodded and he closed the door behind him.

Bakugou sat down beside Midoriya who seemed to be deep in thought. Bakugou looked over at him. “What, you regretting your decision already?”

Midoriya shook his head rapidly. “No, not at all! I have no doubt that I made the right decision. I’ve just been thinking about when All Might approached me the same way with this quirk.”

He looked down at his hands which had numerous scars. “I want to approach this the right way. All Might was running low on time with One For All and he prepared me as best as he could until the U.A. entrance exams. But I want to make sure that Katsuo’s body will be prepared to the fullest before taking this quirk. You’ve seen it’s backlashes and I don’t want him to have to experience that same pain.”

Bakugou looked over at his daughter, caressing her (H/C) hair. He smiled. “He’s stronger than he looks. He’s my kid after all.”

Midoriya smiled as well. “I figured that much. If he wasn’t strong, he probably wouldn’t have been able to fight Gamma and hold him off as much as he did.”

Bakugou sighed, looking in the opposite direction. “I’m gonna say this once so you better fucking listen up.”

Midoriya looked at him with curious eyes. “Thank you.”

Midoriya became flustered, expecting anything other than a ‘thanks’ from his hot-headed friend. “There’s nothing to thank me for! I didn’t really do anything.”

“You idiot, you’re giving him hope. No matter how strong a person can be, it’s difficult to become a hero without a quirk. I always told Suo that I believed in him and I still do, but I was always worried about what would happen once he faced off with an actual villain.”

Midoriya shook his head. “I didn’t do anything, I’m being honest. He’s always had hope. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to do what he did today. He believed in himself. Besides, I didn’t expect anything else from a Bakugou.”

Bakugou smirked. “Of course, where do you think he got it from?”

Midoriya smiled. “Kacchan, I’m going to make him become an even better hero than you and I. He’s going to be the best hero in existence.”

Bakugou looked over at him. “Damn right he will.”

#katsukibakugou #bakugo #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo #bnha bakugou #my hero academia #my hero academia imagines #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #boku no hero imagines #katsuki #kacchan #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #DekU #one for all #bnha midoriya #bnha katsuki

[wornoutmouse]

Illumi x black reader ch 3

Reminder that this will all be posted on ao3 @ kachansmassivetiddies as well

It was the next day when Illumi came home and all night you had to force yourself to ignore the phone calls that came throughout the night. "Y/N I brought you breakfast." you could vaguely hear the monotone voice through your sleepy state. Sitting up you wipe your eyes and look around the room before finally taking in the food in front of you. You blink slowly as you take in the large egg in front of you. It was about 2 feet tall and larger than your own head with speckled spots all around it. "Illumi what the hell is this?" Illumi blinked at you, "A boiled egg, I heard it is popular among you people." he replies, taking out a spoon and whacking the top of the egg at light speed. All at once, the egg was made up of cracks before they all fell lightly around the egg itself. 

 

"You people? What does that mean" you glared at him, arms folded. Illumi looked at you blankly before closing his eyes and standing up, "Isn't it obvious? Americans." You looked at him for a while, questioning the life choices that lead up to this moment. "Are you going to eat this with me?" you asked poking the large food product with a fork provided by Illumi's brother from your last meal. Illumi shook his head, "No I ate two weeks ago I'm quite full." 

 

At this point, you didn't have any desire to question it as you pierced your egg with your fork eating it. You were surprised at the abundance of taste it held without having any noticeable sauce or seasoning on it. "This is amazing!" you said digging in the egg savoring every bite. Illumi took out a notepad and scribbled something down. "What's that?" you ask, eyes lighting up as you finally made it to the yolk. "Notes my mother gave to me in order to make you accept this family as your own. Step 1: Take them, easy enough. Step 2: a way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Illumi looked up to you with what you could only guess to be pride.

 

"Did you just call me a man?" you asked blandly suddenly wanting to throw something at the skinwalker. "As far as I can see, you carry no masculine features but even if you did, my family has ways of making it work." Illumi says gesturing at the pins adorning his green vest. You internally shiver at the sight of them as you think back to the night you two met. "Why wouldn't you answer my calls?" Illumi asks, black eyes peering down at you as if they could swallow you whole. "Why did you call me while you were inside someone. Aren't I supposed to be your wife?" you questioned sarcastically licking your lips and setting the plate to the side. 

 

You had only finished about 1/8 of the egg but you felt as if your stomach would implode on itself. You jump as you see a pale hand planted on the bed next to you. You gaze up at Illumi as he looks down at you, seemingly to take in all your features. "Would you prefer I were inside you?" You squeal jumping up and out of the bed falling onto the floor. "Where did that come from!?" you yelled pointing an accusing finger at Illumi as he walked around the bed towards you. 

 

"Although I would prefer our lovemaking to be only when conceiving a child, I do not mind indulging in your fantasies." He says sliding a nail down the middle of his vest opening it up to reveal a green shirt underneath. "You stay right there slender man! Touch me and it's on sight!" you say wielding your fork as if it were a weapon. "Onsight? But I can see you just fine, are you perhaps blind?" You look at him with distaste as you stand up lazily throwing the fork in his direction. “You’re so weird.”

 

Illumi looked like a kicked puppy, “I don’t know what was strange, you chose to insinuate that you were jealous of me giving physical pleasure to another woman.” There was a knock on the door and a tall man with a mustache walked in. “What is it Gotoh?” Illumi asks, facing the man. Gotoh takes in your disheveled appearance and Illumi’s rare lack of that ugly ass jacket and smirks. “Look OG I don't know what you're thinking but that ain’t it.” you say rolling your eyes before walking into a closet to see what you could possibly wear. 

 

Illumi looks at you with an eyebrow raised, “What is an Oh Gii? Is it a term of endearment?” You look at Illumi for a while before giving him a thumbs-up, “Yeah totally.” Gotoh pushed his glasses up doing his best to contain his amusement. “Your mother and father request a meeting with you and your fiance.” Illumi nods and Gotoh takes his exit. 

 

You pull out an outfit that looks similar to what Illumi was wearing but instead of green it was red. “That'll work.” you mutter flinching as you feel arms wrap around your waist and you feel Illumi rest his head on your shoulder. “I am quite fond of you Oh Gee.” 

 

You have to close your eyes and take deep breaths in order to keep in the laughter threatening to exit your lips.

Much to Illumi’s outward displeasure yet obvious pleasure, you and him were wearing the same thing. Although his vest was tightly hugging your chest and the pants were getting ready to bust from your ass. You two walked down the corridor in silence as you took in the navy blue walls that adorned the hallways. “I mean, knowing what you people do I wasn't expecting to see any loving family photos but how do ya’ll not get depressed with all this nothingness.” Illumi gazes forward but pulls out a small parchment. “I prefer to carry family memories.” 

 

Illumi holds out a small photo to you. You look at it and it appears to be a child Illumi with his father in the woods. Ordinarily, this would be a sweet and endearing photo if not for the fact that Illumi was covered in blood splatter. “This was my first kill.” You quickly handed back the photo and chuckled awkwardly. “How cute a child murderer.” Illumi nodded, “Grandma thought so too.” 

 

You silently prayed that someone, anyone would come to get you from this nightmare.

 

Illumi opens the double doors and allows you to walk in first. The room was much more lively than the halls but still managed to not look out of place. The room was a deep orange with golds everywhere from the linen to very abstract paintings placed in gold frames.

 

Sitting on a large pillow was Illumi’s mother and if they had your way, your mother-in-law. Illumi’s father of course sat next to her, broad-chested and overall intimidating. “I bet his dick is small.” you mutter trying to ignore how fast Illumi turned his head to gaze at you.  “Illumi my son, come, come, sit!’ The woman cried, throwing her arms in the air in a welcoming manner. Illumi sat down.

 

You continued to stand because there was no obvious pillow for you to sit on. “Umm.” you scratched the back of your head before walking close to Illumi to sit. “No need for you to sit my dear, you will be leaving soon anyway.” you raised your eyebrow at that and couldn’t help but feel a chill go down your back. “W-What does that mean sir?” you ask. To your left, a small man in a lab coat walked from behind a door holding a clipboard. “We are ready sir.” he says not looking at you the entire time

 

“Y/N can you please go with him.” Illumi orders not even giving room for objection. You put your hand on your hip slapping away the hand the little man offered to you. “Like hell, I’m just going with Dr. Frankenstein over here without having any information!” Illumi sighed, having the audacity to look embarrassed. “You chose yourself a feisty one, my son.” Silva chuckled looking at you with a gleam in his eyes that made you thoroughly uncomfortable.”Illumi!” you warned, tapping your foot on the carpet. “More like obnoxious.” you could hear Kikyo mutter but you were too pressed with Illumi to care.

 

“It is understandable Illumi, I’m sure she would be more comfortable with her husband present during the examination.” You tapped your foot faster, getting anxious at the words 'examination.' 

After a long pause, Illumi get’s up and follows you into the next room. This room was ordinarily dull. The floor was hardwood but the walls seemed to be adorned with expensive fabrics. “Miss if you will, can you roll up your shirt so I can draw blood.” You jerk your head at Illumi who simply looked blankly at you. 

 

Seeing no other choice you roll up your sleeve but before the doctor could put the needle within you, you freaked out and stopped him before holding your hand out to Illumi. Illumi looked at your hand before recognition set in his eyes. He leaned forward and gave you a high-five. “My brother Killua taught me that.” You put a tight smile on your face before reaching over and grabbing the nearest object and throwing it at Illumi’s head satisfied as it hits him square in the jaw.

 

“No dumbass, hold my hand.” you responded. Illumi opened his mouth to say something but decided against it before taking your hand into his. Illumi’s hands were unsurprisingly cold considering how pale he was. The fingers were thin, long, and too delicate to belong to someone that takes lives for a living. You couldn’t quite help but laugh at how your skin tones concentrated so drastically, it was almost comical.

 

Before you knew it the blood work was done but you still didn’t let go of Illumi’s hand fearing what was to come next. “Please take off your clothes.” You Look at the doctor for a second before slowly sliding out of the chair and bolting for the door. Before you could make it you feel the neck of your vest being jerked back. “Don’t make this difficult please.” Illumi sighed. 

 

“Hey you're not the one being asked to strip in a strange place.” Illumi shook his head, “Would you like it if I striped you instead of the doctor?” You smacked him on the back of his head, “No with your weird-ass!” 

 

In the end, you kicked Illumi outside and found yourself propped up in a chair as the doctor took swabs in your cooter much to your discomfort. Illumi comes back in by the time you finally put your pants on and you follow him and the doctor back to the original room. 

 

“How did it go doctor?” Silva asks and as you come closer you notice a large pillow sat out for you. “I’ll have you know my findings are quite peculiar. This woman seems to be a second nen ability within her but it’s dormant. This only happens with twins when one consumes the other.” You knew this fact, your momma always joked about how you were so hungry as a child that you ate your sister. “And what else.” Kikyo said, opening a hand fan impatient. “Is the girl barren and therefore of no use to us?!” 

 

“Oh you won’t have to worry about Illumi’s ability to produce children, this woman is extremely fertile. In fact, I’m sure all it would take would be one time. There is also a high chance they could produce a white-haired offspring.” Your eyes widened, Kids? What the hell are they talking about, it’s been 3 days do you not get a got damn orientation? Silva held his chin in thought, “Though I do not doubt Killua’s loyalty, it’s always good to have a backup.” 

 

You stood up and headed out the door as fast as you could, fists clenched. “Back up my ass, I ain’t having no brat with any of you people!” You walk down the hall, having no intention in mind highly doubting that you could make it to any exit without this damned family allowing you to. “Who the hell are you?” You hear a voice down the hall coming from a small boy with white hair. ���This must be Killua.” You thought as you continued to walk past him, “A bad bitch who doesn't need no weird-ass fish-eyed man.”

 

Before you take another step, you hear a loud sound coming towards you, “Get out of the way!” Killua said, pushing you against the wall. There is a loud crack then footsteps, “Hello Killua.”  You heard Illumi’s monotone voice say as he comes to be in front of you. Reaching above your head, Illumi picks out one of his pins from the wall behind you. “The hell was that Illumi!’ both you and Killua yell out, pointing an accusatory finger at the man in question.

 

“I see you’ve met my bride.” Illumi continues ignoring the situation. “It was good to see you again, finally tired of your ‘friend’?” Killua scoffed, “No, I’m here because dad called me.” he shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets and walking away, “Hey!” you look up at Killua who had his hand raised in a wave, “Sorry for your loss.”

 

Illumi crowds you back into your shared room with more force than necessary. “Hey watch it!” you snap shaking your shoulder out of his grip. “You embarrassed me in front of my mother.” He replied blandly. You roll your eyes, “Well sorry for you pretty boy, but I have bigger fish to fry.” Illumi looked around the room slowly, “I swear to god if you say-” “What fish?” You groan plopping on the bed burying your face into the sheets. 

 

In your own world, you ignore the feeling of the bed sink, but you do not ignore the crotched pressed into your ass. “What in the hell do you think your doing nigga?!’ you say not in the mood whatsoever. “What is a ni-” you swing your hand behind you and attempt to slap Illumi in the face only for him to grab it and press it into the sheets above you. You begin to feel uneasy, “What are you doing fish eyes!?” You attempt to lift your hips but he secured them with his own. “Considering the results, I say that now is a perfect time to start consummating.

#black y/n #blackreader #illumi zoldyck #illumi #illumi x reader #hunter x 2011 #hunter x hunter

[jeonqukie]

SOMEBODY ELSE / 02 ( ALT ).

SYNOPSIS / After years of working up the courage to confess his feelings for you, Min Yoongi decides to give up and move on from the unrequited position he has put himself in. However, when you discover his veiled attraction towards you, you dwell on what could have been. You find yourself ready to reciprocate the same sentiment for him, only you’re too late when he reveals he has already found someone else. Consequently, you’re lured into a series of meaningless and warped encounters from the one person you swore to avoid.

FEATURING / Min Yoongi; brief appearances by Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES / Angst, romance, mature, friends with benefits, and unrequited love.

WARNINGS / This chapter contains alcohol consumption, graphic language, mentions of sexual activity, mentions and acts of infidelity, and other mature themes.

WORD COUNT / 4.2k.

TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

NOTES / Because part 3 of somebody else will take some time to write, I decided to post one of the original ideas I had thought of for part 2. I still really like this version a lot, but I feel like I wasn’t going to go the direction I wanted to. So please enjoy this alternate version while I still plot out part 3! In another world, this is what I had planned out for this love triangle. Feedback is always appreciate. Big reminder that I am forever grateful that you took your time to read this! Thank you very much for taking your time to read this. (つ≧▽≦)つ

© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and our non-binary friends,” All it took was one step inside of Ernie’s newly renovated bar to hear the particularly flamboyant introduction from the opposite side of the room. “We are pleased to announce the arrival of the new division head of advertising, YN.”

Your cheeks ignited at Seokjin’s grandiose greeting. The rest of the gang was evidently hammered from the boisterous cheers and praises. Nevertheless, it was nearly impossible to avoid the incessant stares from other bar attendees when your feet hastily walk towards the other side of the room.

“Ernie, another round of shots over here, please!” Michelle’s request could be heard from a mile away. You began to strip out of the beige blazer that matched your skirt off of your body only to reveal your white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up all the way to your elbows.

“I told you guys to get started with the drinks - not to get fucking hammered.”

“Sweetheart, the moment you gave us the approval, we couldn’t help ourselves.” You were seated in between Hoseok and Michelle, trying to make yourself comfortable inside the semi-circular booth. On the other end was Jimin and Seokjin who were awaiting patiently for the new round of drinks to appear on the table.

“Plus, it’s your fault for being late.”

“It’s not really my fault that I had to stay an hour back at the office. There were just a couple of paperwork I needed to complete.”

Could you imagine what your boss would have said if you refused to stay back at the office after you recently earned your promotion? It would have led to her doubting her decision to promote you. So you had no choice but to go along with the flow.

Frankly, it didn’t take long for you to earn your position. It may sound immodest of you to assume that, but you’ve only been working for a year and a half and you were already the division head in advertising. It’s funny how a year and a half ago, you were merely just an intern, fighting for a permanent position in the company.

The glasses of spirits soon arrive at your table, Hoseok captures one and placed the minuscule glass across from where you sat. “Alright, everybody, grab a shot because I shall propose a toast -“ But at the corner of your eye, your main focal point happened to be at the front door where he stood; dark mane and pale face when he enters the vicinity with the now familiar, Tiffany.

“Oh, shit, Yoongi and Tiffany are here! Okay, now, it’s a real party!” The sputtering slurs began erupting out of Seokjin’s mouth and all eyes immediately dart towards you.

You weren’t just a mere intern, struggling to find her place in the company a year and a half ago. You were just as lost and confused when it came to your own personal life. You vividly remember the morning Yoongi confronted you of your feelings - how you interrogated him of his true emotions with the both of you coming to the conclusion that there was no happy ending for the both of you.

The circle was in an awkward position for a while, unsure of whether you and him can be in the same room. But for the sake of everyone’s sanity, you were forced to make up with him. Well, you didn’t want to say you were forced to make up with him.

Your friends were too fed up to deal with the cumbersome conversations, so Hoseok and Seokjin had unwillingly bring you together to resolve the predicament you both found yourselves in.

To be honest, you missed him a lot. Persistently trying to avoid him for a good two months was draining, especially when he would be with Tiffany. You were quite surprised she hadn’t caught onto the dynamics of the clique after nearly being with Yoongi for months. You felt an ache in your chest every time she seemed to tag along with him. You even remembered the gut-wrenching moment when you overheard from Jimin that Yoongi manage to convince Tiffany to move in with him.

Suddenly, you found yourself back with Taehyung - in your eyes, he was a saving grace. He was constantly there to numb and alleviate you from the pain. You were always frustrated, absolutely depressed and sought for the comfort you yearned for. For some reason, you were okay every time - as Michelle would say, he’d fuck the sorrow out of your poor soul.

You recovered from the pain and your naive mind believed that you were immune to it.

You thought that everything was fine; you focused on work, focused on rekindling the same friendship with Yoongi and you even ignited a new one with Tiffany herself. She was genuinely sweet, caring, and selfless when it came to Yoongi. Soon enough, you were getting comfortable with the idea that, perhaps, the universe was right - maybe you and Yoongi were better off as friends.

Of course, that wasn’t the case.

Oh, how you were so wrong.

Just a month ago, you remembered how everybody gathered over to their apartment for a movie night and Yoongi made the announcement that he’s asked for Tiffany’s hand in marriage and she inevitably said yes. 

Who wouldn’t say no to someone like him?

Living your life so normally, thinking that things have gotten better was just the naivety coming to slap you right across the face.

The pang of agony was unbearable. You weren’t so sure how you survived the two hours in their apartment with their radiating, saccharine faces.

Not even Taehyung could save you from this one.

You recalled the moment you and Michelle arrived home - how you stampeded over to the bathroom when you began to regurgitate all of the nauseating pain at the pits of your stomach. You were no where near drunk - just utterly miserable.

The sting of your eyes came crawling back to your eyes when the large diamond ring shone right across your face. With Yoongi and Tiffany at the end of the table, Seokjin looked at you straight in the eye, awaiting for you to raise your shot glass once more.

“Earth to YN, I need you to have your glass raised up.” You apologized hastily and raised the glass hesitantly, blushing in embarrassment when everyone had managed to catch you in a state of otherworldliness. “As I was saying, a big fucking congratulations to YN.” It was conspicuous that Seokjin was absolutely inebriated and you savored his demeanor; he was so carefree and loose. “And, also, to our Yoongi who, in a month, will no longer be a fucking bachelor.”

Everyone raised their glass yet you remained… paralyzed.

The clinks of the glass against each other notified you to take the shot into your lips and you swallowed it, feeling the stinging burn coating your throat.

With your eyes pinched closed, you open your eyes only to see Yoongi directly at you. For a split second, he saw the slightest unravel of your guard. He could feel his own chest swell when he notices the way Michelle’s arms slither around your shoulders, whispering words of comfort into your ear before your lips unwontedly twitch onto a discomforting grin. Your eyes glistened underneath what little lighting the bar possessed and when both your eyes lock onto each other, he can see the light in your eyes losing its spark ever so slowly.

You made the announcement that you will be using the restroom and that you should be back with another order of drinks. Scooting your way out of the booth, Yoongi’s eyes follow to where you hastily amble towards the women’s restroom. He tried his best to ignore the way you felt about the situation. He knew that if he factored you in to every decision he made, he wouldn’t be able to progress his relationship with her.

However, when the words came slipping out of somebody else’s mouth that he would no longer be an emotionally available man, it dawned on him how soon everything seemed and he tries his best not to dwell on the fact that there was a slim possibility that he was regretting the decisions he made himself.The night was still relatively young. It was close to midnight, but your feet was growing painfully exhausted from being at the dance floor all night. In order to avoid the newly engaged couple, Michelle and Jimin were trying their best to aid you in distracting yourself from your pain and, hopefully, avoiding you from a really bad mistake.

In this case, they feared that you would drunkenly dial your unofficial bootycall.

But Taehyung has made it clear that it’s best if he strayed away from you… because there was only so much he can do to help you forget Yoongi. Every time he had the chance to see you, it gave him more confirmation that you were anything but over Yoongi. Despite his efforts of making you forget him, he realizes that you were utterly in love with somebody else and he can’t change a thing about it.

Michelle held your phone so close to her while Jimin spun you in circles all night. You yearned to have the phone back to your safety, in case your boss called you for an emergency, but they knew it was wise of them to keep it as far away from you. But they had their limits, too.

“That’s the last song, I’m beat.” Jimin surrenders in defeat which is quite surprising for someone like him. He had so much energy and he was usually the last one off of the dance floor. But you can see from corner of your booth how Tiffany nuzzled ever so lovingly onto Yoongi’s neck when they whisper to each other and your eyes dart back to Jimin who was ambling over towards the bar along with Michelle and you were left stranded in the middle of the floor awkwardly.

It wasn’t until you feel the warmth of somebody else’s body against yours. You spun around to meet eyes with a much taller male; his hair slightly parted with the ends just ending at the top of his brows. His hooded doe eyes stare right down at you with his naturally pink lips curling onto a flirtatious grin.

“H - hi,” You were breathless and taken aback by his handsome face when the song switches over to a much slower rhythm, introducing a romantic guitar at the background. “I - uh, I’m sorry. You must have me mistaken for somebody else.” However, he shakes his head when his large palm envelopes your wrist gently, urging you to slither his arms around his shoulders.

“I saw your friends abandon you and you looked… lonely, so I decided to come and save the day.” He chuckles darkly when you oblige to his request. The romantic guitar playing in the background is not helping you establishing personal space with the newfound stranger. But you weren’t necessarily protesting against it; it was just a little too forward for your liking especially when you couldn’t see your friends in sight. “Plus, you have some serious dance moves."

“Saving me won’t do anything.” It was a depressing thought and you were already biting back the tears that shimmered your eyes when you looked onto the stranger’s eyes. “There’s really no point in saving damaged goods.” You concluded your self-deprecating statements with a dark chuckle, cocking your head to the side to see just how he would react. “Thank you though; I learned from both of my friends who abandoned me. I think you should be dancing with them instead of me." He swipes his tongue across his mouth when he guides you to the rhythm of the song; hips grinding and swaying together, bodies getting closer and closer to each other.

“What’s your name?” He whispers ever so softly into your ear when his large hand is placed right at the small of your back, right above your ass.

“YN.” You answer him breathlessly. Oddly enough, you find yourself being so responsive to his touch - to his voice and to his requests. “I think it’s fair you give me yours?”

“Jungkook.” He sighs before looking you straight into your eyes. “Whoever hurt you,” he begins before his the palm of his hand comes to cup your cheek, thumb circling over the cheek. “… is a real fucking idiot.”

Your laugh travels so far through the room and Yoongi reactively searches for your location. He watches you nuzzle onto the warmth of the stranger’s palm, feeling the world move around you. You were reminded just how out of tune you were out of your normal self. The buzzed brain clearly did not function well when it came to making smart decisions which is why you found yourself caressing his cheek as well, only to have your thumb swiping against his bottom lip. Instinctively, Yoongi’s digits grip around Tiffany’s waist and she squeals, reminding him just how ticklish she was. But his eyes remained fixated on your dancing body, how close you seemed to be against another man.

“I see what you’re trying to do.” You begin your comment before you slowly peel yourself out of the much taller male. “You see this… girl and it’s so obvious she’s broken and it’s so easy to get a good fuck.” You sigh before your digits run themselves through your tousled mane. “You put on this spiel that you can make her feel good, but you can’t. You try to get her hopes up and we all know how this ends.”

His eyes transform into more melancholic ones and he shakes his head before he takes a safe step closer to your body. At the corner of your eye, you can sense the presence of your friends. Suddenly, you can feel several eyes on you, observing how you stood your ground. “You’re wrong, but if that’s how you truly feel, I won’t convince you otherwise."

Your perfectly sculpted brows knit together in confusion when you see him take another step closer towards you, but you remain frozen to the floors. From the booth, Yoongi can see your mouth moving; they were poutier than ever - the bottom sticked out so much when you spoke to the stranger across you. He watches the other male tower over you, caressing your soft cheeks and he fists his hand momentarily before he watches you nod to his statement.

Suddenly, Yoongi observes the way you step closer onto the other male’s body; how his arm wrapped around your waist while you had yours propped over his shoulder. It’s been a while since he felt the nauseating boil at the pit of his stomach; he was envious of the man who had you all to himself at the dance floor. His eyes never missed a second of you swaying your hips to the pattern of the romantic guitar in the background, the way the male lured you to press your smaller physique onto his.

When the song ends, Jungkook whispers something into your ear before he barely brushes his petals right above yours. It ghosted over your dry ones and it took every ounce of self-resistance for Jungkook to step away from you and you both bid your goodbyes only to watch the lust driven look on your face direct itself towards where Yoongi sat uncomfortably. Tiffany and Hoseok were having a conversation about cleaning supplies and he could careless about which bleach did the best job of ridding of stains. However, Yoongi, a newly engaged man, found himself standing up from the booth only to examine you from head to toe. He observes the way your chest rose up and down heavily, frustrated and anxious to have what should be hers.

His eyes doesn’t disconnect from yours and you can’t help but swipe your tongue over to wet your petals, tasting the dried alcohol off of your lips and a hint of his strawberry chapstick. He wasn’t aware how hot the entire vicinity seemed to be. In addition to that, there was a minor strain over at his ripped, skinny jeans. When he mentally curses to himself, you begin your exit out of the bar, desperate to breathe in the cool air to relieve you off your non-fulfillments. When the night’s breeze attack your body, the muffled noises from the bar notifies you that you’re absolutely and utterly alone. The cruel reality of the thought finally edged you to your breaking point and you found yourself leaning against the wall, hugging yourself in the process of sobbing. When the doors open once more, revealing that Yoongi had followed you outside, clearly concerned for your well-being.

“What are you doing out here?” You inquire before you begin wiping every single tear that came streaming down your cheeks.

“I’d like to ask you the same question, to be honest.”

“I just needed some fresh air.” You quip bitterly before you sniffle to yourself, swallowing hard when he examines your current state. Hair disheveled from dancing for a decent hour yet your outfit seemed to be well in tact. The white dress shirt still tucked beautifully onto the waist of your beige skirt and some black tights to complement the outfit. But your eyes were too broken to comprehend; they were red and absolutely shattered, yet they shimmered in the night light. When he sees fresh tears staining your cheeks, he desperately seeks to wipe them off of you.

“A month, huh?”

Yoongi’s digits remain frozen midair when he attempt to wipe the tears off of your stained cheeks. He swallows hard, knowing very well where the conversation is leading to. All he could do is nod his head once and drop the hand to his side while takes a few step back, reminding himself that he cannot offer the same comfort to you anymore.

“Well, congratulations, Yoongs. I always thought Michelle would be the first one to get married - even Hoseok or something.” Yoongi was having a difficult time comprehending how you were still joking despite the pain he had put you through.

“Stop the bullshit, YN. I know you’re not okay with this.”

The uneasiness of his voice had your heart racing and your eyes disconnected from his; not wanting to read his mind - or try to read his mind. With pursed lips, the silence gave you a moment to remember everything - all of the pain he has put you through. Alcohol was running through both of your veins and you feel your hands ball into fists.

“But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“From what I heard you’ve been fucking Taehyung.” He scoffs and, suddenly, you were no longer sad.

“So?”

“Well, how’s that working out for you, YN? How is fucking your ex-boyfriend going to make things any better between you and I?” You clenched your jaw and you swallowed hard, trying to understand why he was so frustrated with you. “And then you’re… just… sleeping with random strangers at the club now?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, c’mon, Hoseok tells me everything.”

“No - no! You have no right to discuss this with me. You have no right to judge me.” You seethed, stepping closer to his frame. “Just because you’re doing so much better at moving on from whatever the fuck we had, you have no right to judge the way I’m trying to cope with everything when this is all your fault.”

He scoffs bitterly and you pace yourself away from him, running your digits through your mane, wanting to rid of all frustrations out of your body immediately.

“I - I put my feelings to the side! I’ve withstand every single thing concerning you and Tiffany. For fuck’s sake, Yoongi, I even befriended her for your sake…. just to get back to the way things were.” The contrast of the cold breeze on your skin and the hot tears streaming down your cheeks earned an eruption of goosebumps through your skin. Your teeth shattered when you spoke and you swallowed the filter you once possessed. You were mindlessly speaking out loud at this point.

“And, for a while, I thought everything was okay. I’ve accepted that maybe this can work out - that i can move on from you because… I was so fucking happy to see you happy even if it wasn’t with me.”

You chuckled to yourself, reminiscing back to your naivety.

“Then you proposed and that’s when I knew I’m… not even fucking close to getting over you.” His eyes never leave yours and you can see how hard he was gritting his teeth because of how prominent his jaw was. He held his breath as he studies your tired features. The bags underneath your eyes stood out from your skin. Eyes blood shot from your tears and the alcohol - from the pain.

“I don’t know how you did it though. You’ve seen me with Taehyung all those months and you never said a single thing about it.” You started and he watches how your eyes are just searching for the right answer as if you were begging him to give you the answer. “You never did a single thing about it.”

It was his turn to get frustrated with your words. He opens his mouth expecting to raise his voice on you, but with the way you were sobbing, he chooses to calm himself further.

“There was nothing I can do, YN. You were with somebody else.”

“And look how the tables have turned.” You sighed, nibbling onto the bottom of your lip. Tears stopped trailing down your cheeks and you took deep breaths to calm your beating heart. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… I’m not over you, Yoongi.” Your voice is small… so small that you feel yourself shrink in size when you amble yourself closer to him. “We both… had the chance to be together, but… we just - we didn’t happen.”

Silence over takes the conversation once more.

“Do you ever think of what could have happened?”

His query catches you off guard and your eyes meet his and you nod once. You inhale deeply, smelling his cologne and the alcohol exuding from his skin. “All the time it’s fucking unhealthy.” You were surprised to hear him chuckle softly to himself and you fold your arms, preventing yourself from doing something you may regret.

“I keep thinking what it would be like to hold your hand.” At the tip of your fingers, you feel the itch desperate to feel the searing heat of his skin against yours. “Every time you whisper something to her, I just… think what it would feel like to have your lips brush up against my ears.” Your cheeks burned when you confess your hidden emotions to him. “I see the way you kiss her; you have your hand caressing her cheek, fingers crawling to the back of her neck and you… sort of cradle her head while you just… kiss her and…”

All sorts of breathing stops when a hot palm frustratingly caresses your cheek, crawling gracelessly across the back of your neck to force your head to tilt towards the towering male. A pair of soft petals crash onto your own when he inevitably caves in and hungrily captures your bottom lip. You responded immediately to his actions, arms slithering around his neck when he firmly pushes you to cold wall, digits tugging at the roots of your hair when his tongue intrudes itself inside your mouth. You savored the heat of his tongue inside your mouth, so you feel your tongue collide against his. He tastes of mint and whiskey and you were addicted to the taste of his mouth.

When the sounds of exiting clientele leaves the bar, you are alerted that this was… wrong.

Yoongi was kissing you.

Yoongi is with Tiffany. You keep chanting it in your head and it took every ounce of willpower for your palms to unfold and push his strong physique off of yours, but you remain frozen underneath his touch.

Instead, he stops. He releases you slowly, lips leaving yourself gently. His hands, however, remain glued to your stained cheeks and he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“We can’t do that anymore.”

You separate your heated bodies away from each other, experiencing a multitude of emotions all at once. There was a satisfaction deep within you at the realization that you were not the only one suffering from the struggle to get over somebody else.

Who knew one single kiss from him was all it took to realize that you wanted more?

“I — we should forget that ever happened.” You licked your lips once more, the guilt clearly painted across your visage and you tried your hardest not to break down when Yoongi exhales out slowly and realizes the immorality of your actions.

He stays absolutely quiet with his lips parted.

“Yoongi, say something. I’m doing this for your sake.” You try to shake him back to reality, worried he might make a choice he sincerely regrets. “Yoongi, you’re engaged… to Tiffany. You’re marrying Tiffany. Please go back inside and be with her.”

He nods his head once and shakes his head, realizing the repercussions of his actions. “We — we can’t say anything.”

“I won’t say anything.”

He purses his lips into a thin line, deciding to amble back to the entrance of the bar.

“YN,” He starts before he opens the door. “I — I’m sorry."

#yoongi fic #yoongi imagine #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi angst

[firespirited]

Blog

Decided to blog even without the internet, I've promised to keep some kind of record after never daring to have diaries and destroying old writings. It not only helps to record memories better but is part of the effort to allow myself to be seen and known even though there's a lot I don't talk about

// Mostly physical issues: you can kind of tell from gaps in creating or gaps in the day in general when i've been incapacitated by pain or exhaustion, so say, the lack of dog walks or cooking is a big tell: in 2019 I was doing them regularly. It's not exactly relatable and can be quite frightening to non spoonies and triggering to others so I record health issues and abilities with initials on a notepad instead. Besides my body steals the focus all the time, i'd like other things to get the spotlight for once! //

So here goes:

read more for super long post!

I should note that the soundtrack for the past week has been Seal: Kiss from a Rose non stop, overlapping, out of order, mostly the acapella stuff. You might think that's torture but it's not a bad song to have on loop considering we're entering the Wham, Mariah and xmas schlock season. Shoutout to the ADHD folks with constant snippets of ad jingles, catchphrases and songs -We all know there's worse to have playing in an unclosable background tab. There have been brief interludes of of the sung parts of Freebird because I can't see the word freebox without thinking "and this bird you cannot tame!" or "won't you flyyyyy-yyy freeeebird, yeah".

Monday: I woke up to a double slap in the face. First: the internet wouldn't work and the box said disconnected. Second postal woes. We'll deal with this part first but both happened simultaneously.

Go to find M, she's half asleep with no answers. her phone will have some mobile data and was the main signup contact info.

I wanted this to be a shared responsibility not on my shoulders alone since i'm tech guy but if things go wrong they want to know why they weren't asked about decisions first, i make the tech decisions all the time. So that's why she's main on this new internet lease. as mentioned before i have an ongoing battle with guilt/shame and tend to spiral when something goes wrong like it's my fault (for doing x or not having a backup plan for x). it's irrational but powerful. I have to spend most of the day thinking *away* from things that are under my responsibility but go wrong no matter how busy things get, the thoughts still weedle their way in.

Okay so she has a text from Orange on *friday* saying they noticed the new company had our phone line details and they're cutting us off, one from Free that morning saying your new line is connected and functional so we just need a box to hook up and we'll have internet.

Second: I was asleep when the postman came: my letter with a few bratz clothes to AustrALIA, printed and carefully stamped with tracking stickers was sent to AUSTRIA, send back and fined 10€. There was a bunch of post so M paid up without asking why or what or even looking at the parcel, didn't think to ask for anything. Now I have to find way of contesting the fine or tax or whatever it was (no receipt!), finding out if post to Oz is going to have this issue again and somehow tell the customer. You can not make this kind of incomptence up. but no internet = no answers. Look at this nonsense:

I spiral for a few hours anyway

I'd really like to do therapy again someday, I need adapted coping mechanisms to redirect thoughts. Going for a walk or body based mindfulness isn't an option.

Watched Colossal (dled in 360px from a streaming site back during the last internet drought). It's a great premise with solid acting, the metaphors are built in and it certainly has you white knuckled for the entirety of the third act but once it was over I found myself wondering if there was a meaning (I don't expect full resolution from stories about addiction or depression, in fact it annoys me if the person is magically better without some serious timeskip and ongoing work). It just sort of gave me 'this story is sort of an indie film and will have a point' vibes and ended up being a thriller, a solid thriller: just not what was expected. Oh wait, did I mention your immersion will be constantly ruined by the fact that Korea is a real place with real people with real lives? and you *will* want to kill the two leads, yes even the heroic one at the end... with no personal ethical problem at all: straight up murder the leads with your bare hands to save people who actually have a working moral compass. I was half hoping they'd have an end scene where there's a reveal and a lynch mob but that would be giving asian people some agency and this movie has no interest in that. Like they chose Seoul !!! of all places, to fill with expendable stupid person-shaped plot drones. Seoul has a quake plan, a nuke plan, a coup plan, a chemical attack plan, all men over 30 have been through military training, people are community minded and organise very effectively. They would leave the town evacuated except for skeleton crews manning the medical areas and military bases within 12 hours. Bet you $10 they have a joke military simulation for kaiju/mechas ready to go. But no they're plot ants going to turn up to be killed by a monster that appears in the same spot at the same hour everyday. What happened to inventing some exotic coded city or country? Why not set the monsters in Dallas or London (trust me, we are not prepared for much)? 

My review, like that of Daredevil on netflix (yes that's an old grudge but I expected better) and The Suicide Squad 2020, is two middle fingers up out of ten stars for 'foreign' people as props: immersion ruined, story loses any impact, I don't care about your protagonists anymore, two hours of my time wasted on dreck that needed five minutes of thought instead of relying on a very tired old racist cliché. Who is greenlighting this 1960s B movie bad storytelling trope over and over again?

Does it not occur to them that a significant part of the audience will empathise with the city dwellers or factory workers or have been to a place that is strange and alien but also *people were still very much people*?

To illustrate: in The Boys (aka the series in the terrible tumblr ads) they had this scene of a bad guy being hunted through a block of flats and you're like ok I know this place, we've seen characters live in similar places, I've lived in places like this and the collateral damage the superhero does is horrifying and it tells you that the superhero is worse than any bad guy but then the superhero has this big scene where they say a slur and enjoy killing the bad guy slowly like 'Dun Dun villain alert' when the correct "oh shit" moment was when civilians were getting tossed out of windows. You know what I mean?  You feel like you're being treated like a total idiot by a story when the person did a bad thing then the story has to double down and have them do a whole bunch more bad things- like you didn't get that it was a very bad thing the first time around. Maybe I'm just sick of the comic book, action hero and cop movies that treat death with no weight. I think I'll watch Rachel's wedding Rachel getting married as a palate cleanser when the internet is back where the damage of addiction is given it's proper levity (even though it's going to be painfully cringeworthy).

I would 100% watch a remake or different version of the Colossal concept done smarter. The superhero facing consequences or with side effects makes for some really interesting media, i mean there are some terrible executions of the genre (avengers civil war) but done with even a little bit of thought? that's some delicious brain food right there!

Dolls on film (looks like Bandai Cutie Honey. set in Seoul 1987)

Lily is bored and being adorable. she's fully fluffy at the moment so she reads as a puppy even more than usual.

Tuesday: Freebox arrives tomorrow. Thank the universe J's skype medical appointment got moved to friday. Today I'm going to watch Chronicle (2012) to compare and contrast. I wonder if the blonde guy's (DeHaan) voice is an affect to sound like a teen or his real voice? Michael B looking both too old for highschool and also so young. Oh nice: rules as soon as there's a mess. Good guys, I love these dorks. Their home movies are 3 idiots playing slap games, if they were brothers they'd have accidentally killed eachother by now. I'm glad they made both cousins awkward and socially isolated with one making a choice to work on connecting to people because the ND being the one to snap isn't true to life. Oh, wow, here we go... OK that was good. Minimal shaky cam considering the medium. Escalation was handled with clues, clarity and a big trigger event so it wasn't a straight 'power corrupts' storyline. I think Jordan should have been the cousin, he's got the better acting chops, but yeah that was 2012 *cough*Not everybody came out of their Friday Night Lights binge with the right conclusions*cough* (still waiting for a certain actress to get her dues). I don't need answers about the nature of how things work but no anime references? it's 2012 and M.B. Jordan how do you pass up such a golden opportunity? LMAO. The comparison to Akira has probably been done to death and The Craft has better lore on about using powers for good and TWO characters with emotional issues.

I'd rate this a solid 7/10 as a variation on the Akira story. Works well as "What if Peter Parker had a terrible uncle and wasn't whip smart?". A teensy bit on the fence about the atypical coding of blonde dude, I'd be less forgiving if they hadn't made his cousin a bit of a social disaster too. I loved that they connected telekenenis to flying, when characters can move stuff and themselves ... but not themselves from the ground it's a wierd thing for viewers/readers to buy into. The big fight was set at night which had me squinting to see who's where, so that lost it a point.

Finished Lagoonafire and yarn rerooted Gigi while listening to 3 "You are good" (formerly "what are dads") podcasts which has Sarah and Alex from "You're wrong about" talking about movies in a very informal not technical way. This was The Mummy, Guardians of the galaxy 2 and Birds of Prey.

I love them because they can take some seriously awful subject matter and do gallows humour that doesn't feel uncaring, they care a lot and take it seriously but life is tough and it's also ok to laugh about the absurdity of it. You've got a good dose of respect for the complexity of humans, lots of empathy but also they don't leave you feeling dirty, it's more like "here's the knowledge and context people had at the time, here's the knowledge we have now, it's ok to be furious at the injustice and let's keep these things in mind as we move forward because setting the record straight even for your one brain is a small step towards justice and that's a positive even though we just gave you twenty more reasons to hate humanity. Like if this was a twitter thread info dump you'd want to take up drinking right now but we're going to let you digest this with a bit of space gently". I don't know how they pull it off but they do. I thought "you're wrong about" was going to be confrontational or, worse, sensational but it's just debunking and education with a spoonful of sugar. Everything properly sourced and balanced like proper journalists not sloppy true crime/docuseries.

Not sure why I rerooted half of Lagoonafire to stick her hair in a ponytail but she looks amazing with her hair down too:

Wednesday:

woke up to find freebox physically set up thanks to J (my heart is bursting!!) now to fine tune the back end. quickly sent emails. client in australia seems understanding (with a full refund).

#saf #dolls #my dogs #my_dogs #lily #monster high #reroot #internet and postal woes #colossal 2012 #chronicle 2012 #movie reviews

[datawyrms]

Still Robophobic?

Chapter 2  while crawling through all of K1-B0′s text so I can inanely chatter and make depth that probably wasn’t there because it makes me happy. and you can’t stop me. Once again I am serious this is all of his text so this is LONG. (and if you didn’t read my first super long post covering Prologue/ch1, you might want to do that first) someone make me work on my fics lol

Also I totally just realized Keebo is totally hiding behind Himiko after Monokuma’s return to life and I just MISSED HIM lol. He trusts Kaede and Shuichi, even when they’re being sketchy as heck and says he’ll think of plans too, because more plans are better than less. shame upon me for overlooking more of his trusting and trying to help nature. MOVING ON.

Cold open with the funeral that starts at Kaede’s portrait so you think it’s current but no this is for our viewing pleasure only...Gonta finds the horse a hint...Kaito abuses a doorbell and shepherds Shuichi out of the room...get to the dining hall and Keebs is muttering questions so he can be the first one talking in a scene again!

K1-B0: Writing...? Gonta: Yeah! Like someone try to hide writing in grass! Weird, right!?

keep shining on with your refusal to do anything but ask questions unless talking to Kokichi or a Protag, Keebo. As Keebo is garbage at people, he has zero reaction to the Hatless Reveal. The human has removed part of their clothing and he does not care. If you’re curious, Maki, Ryoma, Himiko, Keebo and Kiyo are the only ones not to remark on it at all. :v

Kokichi: Kirumi, be my mom! Gonta: Gonta want you to be his mom, too! K1-B0: ...What are you two even saying?

even keebs knows you two are being hecka weird by asking that guys. Which is probably the joke that the robot calls them on this. Or it’s him not getting the point of moms/what they’re asking for...since you know. Built in a lab...(Though he does know, since he made fun of Kaede that way.)

K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Hm? What's wrong, Kee-boy? You're not eating— Oh yeah! I totally forgot you can’t eat! Y’know, cuz you’re a robot! K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Hey now, don't look so down. I'll bring you a broken TV later. K1-B0 I don't want that... I'm not a waste receptacle. Angie: Nyahahaha! Keebo and Kokichi seem to be getting along swimmingly!

Everyone’s eating and Keebo is just listlessly staring at food. Till Kokichi decides to loudly announce to everyone that’s what he’s doing. Which, judging by the fact Kaede had to ask...Keebo might have told Kokichi based on how he says ‘he forgot’ that and no one has really noticed he just watches. It’s been a busy set of days, I suppose. Angie is right in a way, she notices how Kokichi’s poking isn’t getting as much of a response and how the little punk keeps pushing on to get some words out of him. Course, it mostly looks like he’s making fun of him, but that’s Kokichi! for an ‘emotionless robot’ you sure picked out his emotion, tiny terror. Things Keebo doesn’t call robophobic: being told to eat broken electronics. He is pretty down though, Kaede’s FTE makes it pretty clear he’s pretty jealous that he can’t eat. Considering it looks good to him and all. (Who programmed that. Why would you do that.).

Shuichi falls into the depressing narrative ‘everyone is faking being normal’ mode after that conversation, we talk about the horse a hint again/Gonta’s gullibility.

Kokichi: Nee-heehee... Gonta, you're so gullible. Y'know, if you keep being this gullible... You’ll be killed before you know it. Understand? Shuichi: ...Ah! The moment Kokichi said that word, the warm and casual mood shattered. K1-B0: What's wrong, everyone? Is there a problem with Kokichi's advice? Gonta: Oh, Kokichi... You no should say thing like that, even as joke.

Keebs can sorta read the air to tell the mood just got real nasty...but has no idea why because to him it’s perfectly sensible advice. this boy. If someone is tempted to commit murder, logically they’ll try to trick people. Who do you trick? Someone gullible. He knows it isn’t a joke. No one actually answers him either, though he can probably guess by Tenko calling Kokichi insensitive. this is why he’s bad at people, people ignore him aaa

Kokichi tries reminding people hey monokuma is totally gonna exploit your glaring weakpoints lol/ups his dislike score, said bear shows up,  kubz give area unlocks/ make an attack on titian reference with the nape of the neck thing and they skadoodle. (keebo also having a neck weakness...tsumugi....)

Kokichi: Hmmm... Seeing that robot-looking one get left out makes me think of Keebo...

yes keebo, you really, really are. No one else even says anything about this, Maki moves the conversation to the items they just got. Poor guy wants to pretend he isn’t that left out. Oh well...he’ll probably figure it out...eventually... Shuichi gets given the job of rubbing items on things because he is the Protag so Go Unlock Stuff, Boy. Keebo hangs out with Tenko near the to-be-unlocked pool.

K1-B0: That item we received earlier...I think we can use it on this stone monument. Can you try?

Tutorial robot strikes again. There is information I know, so i am going to say it and have no fluff dialogue. Tenko has a pretty sweet little scene with Shuichi here and he’s just beep-boop my protagonist powers know a puzzle when I see it.

K1-B0: The ivy withered in seconds. What remarkable technology... Tenko: Ah! We can get in! We can go in from there, right!? K1-B0: ...You intend to go inside? That course of action seems dangerous. Monophanie: No, it’s not dangerous. There’s just a pool in there.

This is why no one invites you to their DnD sessions Keebo. Sure, it’s true they probably shouldn’t blindly blunder into new places but you literally just told Shuichi how to open the door. ‘Ah, a new discovery. Time to ignore it.’ Of course he’s impressed by tech bordering on magic, which is fun. I wonder if the Kubz got summoned to make sure Keebo didn’t chicken out on exploring :v He honestly seems to trust they won’t lie to them, or at least not blatantly/in ways that would get them killed.

Tenko: What should we do? There may be a pool, but we’re not going for a swim, are we? K1-B0: But...if it is not dangerous, then maybe we should take a look. It is never bad to have too much information. Shuichi: Yes, I suppose you're right...

K1-B0: It looks like there's a pool inside. We should take a closer look. It would be best to know the specifics.

Easily swayed, this robot. Two seconds ago you were all ‘let’s not go in there’ and now you’re This Is Totally Not Dangerous, time to Take A Look. Because the Monokubs said it was okay. It had the opposite effect on Tenko, but she’s outvoted by the ahogeholders. I’d say ‘make up your mind’ but this is how Keebo makes up his mind. If he knows something ‘for certain’, he wants to know more. If it’s iffy, he’s cautious. It does look like he’s indecisive as hell though xD

Shuichi: ...Then I suppose that dream is pretty far away. K1-B0: It’s not necessarily a dream of mine... But swimming with everyone does sound fun. If I tried to swim, I would just sink. Shuichi: ...And that one is even farther.

He tries to relate to Tenko a little bit here, in the swimming is her dream but really he just thinks it sounds fun to be included, he knows he can’t swim...they’re in the same boat in that regard! Tenko actually does want to learn to swim, it comes up quite a bit in URDP. Keebo not so much. He really is more chatty about himself in smaller groups :v

K1-B0: I wonder if the day will ever come when I can swim with everyone... Tenko: Keebo! I was wondering... If you fell off a boat and sank to the bottom...would you be stuck living under the sea, beneath a rock or in a pineapple!? K1-B0: What...? Shuichi: No, I believe that before you'd get too deep, your body would be crushed by the pressure... K1-B0: Please don’t say such scary things, both of you! Or I’ll never set foot on a boat!

K1-B0: ...If I ever get the chance to ride a boat, I will wear a state-of-the-art flotation device.

He’s scared. By both of them. He doesn’t get the reference at all, obviously. His hopeful wondering that he might be able to take part in something gets redirected into either being trapped alone at the bottom of the sea forever or crushed to death. From a question that basically comes out of nowhere! But he apparently is still willing to go on a boat with proper precautions. To not be left out. he just wants to be your friend guys. you could at least say sorry for freaking him out come on. His struggle with Not Being Swim Compatible continues.

Shuichi: This looks like...a storage room? K1-B0: I peeked inside and discovered all manner of pool supplies in here. It is fully stocked with kickboards, water polo balls, and even sturdy rubber inner tubes. Perhaps I can float in water if I inflate them and attach them all over my body. Shuichi: Ah, I think you would look like that tire company's mascot...

shh let him do it, it sounds funny. It’s interesting Shuichi’s willing to say this out loud, he usually keeps his snark in his head. Also, you got a lot of info from a peek Keebo. Thank you for also mentioning rubber inner tubes exist here, as this will be plot relevant later. :p

Tenko: Oh, Keebo! Are you a degenerate male or a girl!? Which is it!? 

Shuichi: Really? How interesting...I suppose I did just assume he was a...he. But Keebo is a robot, so...

Non binary keebo is canon. ‘don’t know’ he/him pronouns on the profile page for the robot.  Because he literally hasn’t even thought about it before. And it doesn’t seem like he intends to either! He doesn’t start rationalizing out which one he might be, just admits he...cares so little it never crossed his mind. but seriously how old are you. how long have you existed and not a SINGLE person asked you Keebo your backstory is super shaky. Or secretly depressing. also i totally forgot Miu gets way too excited by the tennis machine. no wonder she takes so long to drag keebo to the lab :v Shuichi wanders off to unlock everything else, and they all meet back up in the gym.

Angie: Alrighty then, check this out. K1-B0: That is a peculiar-looking flashlight...So, what of it? Angie: Umm, I dunno what it is either. I inspected it pretty good...Nyahahaha, but in the end I couldn't figure it out.

we’ve been here for two seconds and you’re back to asking questions aaa Though the fact Angie and Keebo have actually talked to one another again is good, it helps explain why she might have chosen to add him to her ‘friend group’ -cough- Angie then explains she asked Monokuma, he shows up, sorta explains the flashback lights.

Kaito: Hey! Don’t just give up on explaining after a single sentence!  K1-B0: So...what should we do? Tenko: What should we do...? You mean, should we or should we not use the flashlight? No way! I refuse! It reeks of fishiness!

keebo i’m confiscating your question mark key. Taking relying on others opinions to entirely new levels, this robot. But hey he’s actually been answered twice! That’s better than posing the question to the sound of crickets chirping. Tenko seems to like him better in general after hanging out a bit too. (and the whole ‘is not a boy thing.) Kaito and Kokichi face off in ‘should we use the flashback light’ annnd

Tenko: I'm...staying. After hearing that degenerate’s speech, running away would just frustrate me! Gonta: Gonta also stay... Is what true gentleman would prolly do. K1-B0: I also agree with Kaito. Our defeat is 100% assured unless we stand up to this. That’s... how I feel, deep inside. Just a whisper- Kokichi: You hear it in your ghost? I'm pretty sure robots don't have ghosts, though. K1-B0: ...Leave me alone. 

First mention of his inner voice! Kokichi pounces on that, which just gets Keebo to actually stand up for himself a little, though pretty pathetically. He doesn’t seem all that sure if it’s him feeling what’s right or the inner voice though...calling it a whisper. He’s completely convinced to go along with it though, he’s really more of a follower...but of course the outside world is going to compel the protag to get plot details. then they actually use the light

Shuichi: I can't either...I suddenly realized... I could not remember any important details of the Ultimate Hunt... K1-B0: It’s no use, I can’t remember either. I can only remember being chased... I can't remember anything else at all. 

Way to echo Shuichi’s inner thoughts, Keebo. This whole flashback light should really be confusing him more than it does. but we’ll get to that.

Ryoma: Could the reason be that...we were caught by the Ultimate Hunt? Shuichi:  Caught...by the Ultimate Hunt? K1-B0: You mean, we tried to escape by erasing our memories, but they found us anyway... And subsequently, we were captured as part of this Ultimate Hunt? 

At first I thought Keebo’s ‘returned’ memory might have been slightly different to compensate for the glaring issue but nope! Here he is, stating they erased their memories. and he’s summarizing again lol. keebs. i don’t care if you throw your harddrive in a washing machine, you are going to very quickly re-learn that you’re a goddamned ROBOT. He doesn’t even question this memory, no one does! (ok, kokichi probably caught it based on what he does right after this but otherwise) did you think you were a slightly less ultimate robot how did this even logic in your head. Questions that will never be answered.

Kaito: We just gotta work together. If we cooperate, we'll make it out of here alive. Just like a certain someone said... Shuichi:  ...Kaede. K1-B0: But I believe cooperating with each other is the most logical course of action— Kokichi: *snore* I’m snooooring! K1-B0: ...Why are you sleeping!? Kokichi: Whoa! Huh, what!? Tsumugi: Hey, Kokichi...we're having a serious conversation here. Kokichi: And is it written somewhere that I have to take serious conversations seriously? Kaito: Tch, quit acting so immature! Kokichi: Hm? I’m a teenager...so duh I’m immature. Aren’t you guys forgetting to act your age? K1-B0: But I don't have a biological age... Kokichi: Don't worry about it, Keebo. I'm just talking to the humans right now! K1-B0: ...Grgh!  Kokichi: What were we talking about again? Something about working together to escape, right?

he thinks kokichi is actually sleeping. he genuinely buys it when he says I’M SNORING. you sheltered little robot. He is super bad with people in so many new and exciting ways. Which effectively stops him from being a driving force/leading anyone...which is probably exactly what sleepyhead wanted here. Then excludes him further with the not a human reminder, which Keebo still doesn’t actually contest. No fitting in for the robot, can’t be trusted. That and the conversation gets re-directed to the mastermind among them from this diversion. Use Robot for Free Topic Change :v Keebo doesn’t speak up  again at all after this, but he’d probably have no idea what to say about Ryoma just casually going ‘nothing to live for bye’ so. Free time dialogue time!. First time slot...he’s in the dining hall

K1-B0: ...Shuichi, if you have free time, would you like to spend it with me? There's something I want to ask you. 

Lookit him, taking some initiative and asking Shuichi to hang out. Negative five points because you want to ask questions. he’s a very curious robot. Second time slot he retreats to his room.

K1-B0: There's an area in this school that is closed off. It seems there are other hidden rooms as well. 

There’s a lot of hidden rooms! He really doesn’t talk about anything but current events and the school... Free time ends, kubs bungle the motive delivery, Shuichi watches Kaito’s video...and goes to run off to tell him right away about his sad looking grandparents....

Shuichi: Keebo! Have you seen Kai-- K1-B0: Impeccable timing Shuichi! I was on my way to get you! Shuichi: You were? K1-B0: Everyone is gathering in the dining hall. Please come right away. I'll go get everyone else. 

Keebo’s been promoted to sleepy student fetcher in the meantime, or more likely volunteered to help Kaito when he proposed gathering everyone to talk about it. Good thing Kaito didn’t beeline for Shuichi or he might have actually seen the video :v

Kirumi: Shall we wait for everyone then? Until then, I can provide you all with massages— K1-B0:  Thank you for waiting! We gathered everyone else! Korekiyo: My word...and after I was about to finally experience one of Kirumi's famed massages... K1-B0: Wh-What do you mean? Are you also suggesting that I cannot read the air? Maki: So what is it? Why did you drag us here?

kiyo you’re hurting the robot’s feelings with your massage lusting. Keebo no idea and just assumes it’s a reading the air thing pffft. Getting everyone together to discuss the kubspads is a bit more important, even if they wanted to do something first. Not that anyone is going to tell him that :v

Kokichi: So, what are these videos? K1-B0: No doubt they’re the motives from Monokuma, but why were they all mixed up...? Gonta: Y-Yeah! Why Gonta get Tsumugi's video— K1-B0: No! Don’t say it Gonta! Gonta: ...Hm? Tsumugi: Aah...I heard it... I see... So Gonta has my video... Gonta: ...Huh? Gonta not supposed to say it? Miu: Who fuckin’ cares!? We’re gonna exchange ‘em anyway, right? K1-B0: No, we cannot exchange them. Shuichi: What? We can't? Ryoma: Why not? They're videos of the most important people in our lives. K1-B0: And that is precisely why we cannot exchange them. Although we do not know why our motives were mixed up...As long as we don't exchange them, we don't have to see our motives at all. Himiko: So it’s better to just ignore them... K1-B0: Yes. At least, that is what I think. Tenko: Th-That's true... If we ignore them, then we won't have a motive... Ryoma: I'm against that.

The robot has learned the technique of how to cut people off mid sentence, but was a bit too slow on the draw here. This is basically the first time Keebo takes the lead on an idea though, so of course it’s about keeping everyone safe. poor gonta. Innocently having no idea why the weird robot is suddenly pushy at him. The fact this clicked really quick for Keebo while Shuichi is still half ‘but i gotta show it to Kaito’ is pretty interesting, but makes sense. He’s probably less likely to have that emotional ‘oh friend would want to know this, i must let them know’ moment our detective is having. I expect he saw it as a motive first, and all else second. Kaito is the one who takes over when it comes to confronting Ryoma, because Keebo and conflict do not mix well. because he’s a doormat. He does speak up again though!

Kokichi: Who cares? Ryoma just stated his opinion. Actually...I feel the same way as him K1-B0: Are you...trying to cause trouble again? Kokichi: Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying we shouldn't care about killing or dying...But I think it'd be better if we didn't cooperate with each other...Actually we *definitely* shouldn't cooperate with each other!

...because Kokichi speaks up! Kokichi likes to remark on him, so darn it, he’s going to remark back on on the purple terror. He keeps going on for a long time here too. The fact Keebo was one to originally bring the ‘don’t share’ plan up might be why Kokichi goes so hard against it here. he doesn’t trust keebs as far as he can throw him, so anything he wants done must be obstructed. It’s early on enough that he hasn’t really had time to confirm Keebo is as harmless as he says he is (usually.) And hey if it doesn’t work he’s still showing himself as ‘difficult’ for future evil plans.

Kokichi: Anyway, I’m warning you all for your sake. Let's just exchange our motive videos instead of cooperating with each other. K1-B0: ...I cannot comprehend that logic. Kokichi: Well, now that I've said I won't cooperate, I can't afford to be seen with you losers...C’mon Gonta, let’s go.

good job keebo. don’t refute or argue, just state you have no idea how his brain works. He doesn’t speak up at all once Kokichi leaves either, not even when it devolves into Kirumi getting a bunch of orders. He isn’t one of the ones that leaves so apparently he just...watches everyone eat hot pot :v Then it’s time for more free times!

K1-B0: Everyone seemed to really enjoy that delicious-looking tripe hot pot... It's fine. You do not need to worry about me. *sigh*...

oh he literally did. I forgot this line. keebo. why do you do this to yourself. The food thing is...a big thing for him. Is this why you hate vending machines Keebo. Do you think those machines ate the food. In Free time slot two he’s alone still (he’s almost always alone, no matter where he is. Kokichi and Kaito were just in the room he’s in now the previous free time tho.)

K1-B0: I also want to know what is contained in my motive video... But...if a killing were to happen because of that... It would mean that we've betrayed the very wish that Kaede entrusted to us.

I want to know but am putting everyone being safe first. Though also ‘Keebo what on earth could you been shown that would make you thinking killing is okay suddenly.’ Then I’m ‘oh do you mean you don’t trust the person you trade with to not go murder’. Do you have Shuichi’s, Keebo? Is that making you double down on Kaede’s wish, right to Shuichi’s face? Kaito is surprised to know Shuichi has his, there’s nothing saying they had to be ‘swapped’ to match...it’s just interesting to think about. another interesting thing is Himiko and Angie are hanging out in the same room during this free time. V3 is pretty good about foreshadowing future events if you go talk to everyone! Anyway, Keebo shows up in Tenko’s parasol event/bonus scene. 

K1-B0: I am grateful for your care, Kirumi. Kirumi: This is more people than I had been told. Tenko: I'm sorry... I just wanted Himiko to feel like a celebrity, too! Angie: Can I join? Atua says He wants to feel like a celebrity too! Himiko: If Atua wants to be a celebrity, then we might as well invite him too. Tenko: S-Sure... If that's what you want, Himiko. Grrrrgghhh...I just wanted to vacation like a celebrity with Himiko! Shuichi: ...Would a god want to be a celebrity? 

This bit is interesting! Tenko objects to Angie coming, but she must have invited Keebo herself, as he isn’t here to set anything up. He doesn’t spend either of his free time spots at the pool, so it’s not coincidence that he’s there either. Maybe they’ve bonded over their inability to swim. He wouldn't just tag along of his own accord. Tenko then tries to shoo Shuichi away here because of course she does :v

Shuichi: ...What about Keebo? Tenko: Keebo's a robot, so he's neither male nor female! He barely passes! K1-B0: ...I cannot tell if that remark is robophobic or not. Shuichi: Well at the very least, you're better off than I am... 

Want to be included...eclipsing need to be treated the same...Even though he’s self admitted to not being either! :v Keebo honestly doesn’t know what he wants. Shuichi apparently thinks you’re enough of a guy to get turfed out with him Keebo, so that’s probably something you like? It’s nice to see Tenko remembered though, considering she was the one who asked him in the first place.

Kirumi: By the way, Keebo... K1-B0: Yes? Kirumi: In your case, would you prefer oil over tropical juice?

Kirumi: Keebo, Tenko requested I help her feel like a celebrity. And she has included you as one of her guests... I will do my utmost to fulfill her request, for that is how a maid must conduct herself. So please tell me what food or beverages I can prepare so you feel like a celebrity Shuichi: Such pride and dedication... Kirumi's prowess as a maid is showing! K1-B0: Um...I do not require food. And I would not be able to taste it in the first place...

He’s a bit hard to read here! He’s happy with just the offer, but seems a bit awkward about it judging by the sprite being used. Actually being accommodated for seems to put him off a little. It seems he’s fine on oil on the moment so he has no need or desire for it though. Which conflicts with Kirumi’s goal and seems to actually irritate Keebo by pressing. He’s doing the exasperated hands up sprite when he’s stating he doesn’t need or taste food. Would it be nicer to just go ‘okay fine oil’, probably. but he doesn’t since uh. It could just be the ‘I just said no thank you why does no one LISTEN’ getting to him! that and we know keebo has like -10 to tact anyway. That and...asking him what he needs to ‘feel like a celebrity’ probably just sent him thinking ‘THAT’S A FEELING???’ so he just sticks to a fact and pretends he’s not at a loss. Keebo then spends his time more interested in the parasol than anything else, because of course he is. He honestly looks puzzled by it, it’s kinda cute.

K1-B0: Out of curiosity, do you really need that parasol even though we're indoors? Tenko: Of course! If you wanna feel like a celebrity, you absolutely need a parasol! A robot like you wouldn't understand what it means to feel like a celebrity, huh Keebo? K1-B0: Ghhhh... Th-This is a difficult feeling to understand!

Keebo cannot have a nice thing without getting dumped on for it almost immediately after :v He basically admits he doesn’t know what ‘feeling like a celebrity’ is like by trying to justify himself...but really tenko the question was fair and you just go ‘haha robot’ instead of maybe realizing it’s an atmosphere thing not a feeling thing.  In the morning after Shuichi chats with Ryoma...

Shuichi: Good morning, Keebo. K1-B0: Good morning. Um, have you seen Kokichi or Gonta? Shuichi: Ah, I haven't seen them... K1-B0: I see...I saw them earlier...and they seemed to be sneaking around. Given Kokichi's penchant for mischief, do you think he's planning to cause more trouble? Gonta is very earnest but also very naive... Kokichi could easily fool him. Shuichi: That's true... That is a bit disconcerting. K1-B0: ...I wonder why Kokichi is so determined to undermine our cooperation. True, Monokuma does interfere with our attempts to cooperate, but consider this...Perhaps what Monokuma fears more than anything...is our cooperation. That is why I think that Kaede was not wrong. Shuichi: ...I think so too. I’ll always be thankful for what Kaede tried to do for us. K1-B0: That's right! If we all cooperate, I'm sure we will be able to escape this place! If we meet every morning for breakfast, we will slowly but surely become more united. Shuichi: Yeah! K1-B0: Well then, I will go to the dining hall now.

Keebo and Kokichi are mutually on one another’s case and it’s pretty hilarious. He doesn’t call Kokichi cruel or anything either...just mischievous. Even someone terrible at people saw what kind of person Gonta is, and has apparently decided Shuichi is the one who has to hear about his concerns. He’s pretty into the getting along and working together thing, but Kaito really takes the roll from him in most group settings, so we kinda only see it when Shuichi is alone. Though Shuichi maybe uh. don’t be thankful about the attempted...murder...I know that’s not what he means but hahaha it does not read well xD also Kokichi is totally Keebo’s rival, not Shuichi’s. because keebo is the real protag. :v he’s totally Togami levels of dickery to Keebo, who’s pretty Makoto-ish...even if I do read Kokichi more favourably at times for that sort of comparison :v  Moving on to the dining hall.

K1-B0: According to my calculations, not everyone has gathered today. Shuichi: You can see that without doing any calculations...

You know you’re low on the totem pole when Shuichi will dunk on you. Out loud. This is the opening bit for this scene! You couldn’t remark on people missing, no. it is dunk time. Everything Keebo does is in numbers detective, he’s a robot! He doesn’t need to inform you that he calculated it, yes...but he’s trying to impress people and he just sucks at it >> anyway yes people did not come to breakfast.

Tenko: Maybe she's hiding a bunch of kids in there that she's secretly taking care of! Shuichi: What? She's not some stray dog on the streets raising pups... K1-B0: I also saw Kokichi and Gonta sneaking around together. Miu: A couple of virgins sneakin' around sounds like bad news to me!

Keebo reiterates the ‘kokichi is a menace and has gonta with him’ fact for the rest of the class/people who don’t read optional dialogue. Yet he doesn’t mention how this concerns him like he does to Shuichi alone! because that’s not a fact and we’re in a group setting.

K1-B0: Himiko is acting rather odd. I do not fully understand what she is doing...

The Ultimate Mage might not have anything nice to say about him, but he’s paid enough attention to notice the weird ‘calm’ Himiko isn’t normal. Better point it out to Shuichi! and keebo you don’t even halfway understand what she’s doing, it’s ok. Though I suppose 1% of understanding is technically not ‘fully understanding’ something too :v

Himiko: Nyeeeh...as long as I pray like this, I don't need to waste my energy on useless stuff. No matter what happens or what trouble lies ahead, my heart will be calm... K1-B0: I see...It’s escapism. Angie: No... She has merely abandoned reality to speak to Atua. Tsumugi: That *is* escapism.

He found an answer! it’s delightfully cynical and calculated and thus hilarious. He’s doing his little ‘hand up/i’ve deduced something’ pose so he looks pretty proud of it too. Tsumugi of all people backs him up on this! Though I suppose she’d know allllll about escapism! :V gdi moogie. Yet even with his short, matter of fact answer he’s still confused after all the back an forth/ the hug scene.

K1-B0: What’s going on...? Did Angie...do something to Himiko? Angie: Hm? I just undid her brainwashing, that's all. K1-B0: But...Himiko is clearly acting strange. Himiko: That’s rude. I’m not acting strange. This is my true self... I guess Atua's words can't reach robots... K1-B0: Wha—! You're being robophobic again! Angie: It's okay! Atua has compassion for robots who look human! K1-B0: O-Okay... 

Aw. He’s worried about his friend...who doesn’t like him and said we should kill him. this boy, I swear. Very forgiving. We can add one to the ‘times Keebo actually outright said something was robophobic’ count...annnnd Himiko is literally using the reason that he’s a robot to invalidate his concern over her behaviour. i think he’s justified! Not to mention he instantly backs down when Angie basically goes ‘oh Atua would include you’ and doesn’t argue for any other robots here...really just say ‘stop treating me like i’m sub human’, but then they’d just say he is sub human so. robophobic it is :v He just wants to be included so badly...but he’s getting the message as a robot he can’t. and that is sad. of course he listens to angie later, atua and her will include him, even as a robot. Though not at first! The next time he talks...

Angie: No, noooo, that's wrong. It's not enough to simply live here forever. Our lives must also be full of divine purpose. In other words...We must make this academy  heaven on earth! Shuichi: What...? Angie: In doing so...our desire to leave will vanish, and the killings will cease. K1-B0: Are you...being serious right now? Angie: This place provides us all with shelter, food, clothing, and wonderful friends! What more could you possibly desire? Do not give in to your greed.

He’s very much on the ‘no, we are not staying here forever’ train. He can’t parse if she’s being serious or not. He’s also doing the job of reacting since Shuichi is still mostly reacting in his own head instead of out loud. Her argument might compel him a little though, considering how alternate plans of escape haven’t really shown up...

Himiko: Now is the time to demonstrate my powers. My magic is the only thing that can heal your twisted hearts. K1-B0: But in our current predicament, performing magic tricks is quite illogical- Himiko: Nyeeeh, don't disturb my concentration. You gotta learn to read the mood already. And...it's called a magic show cuz I do magic. Not tricks

Cut off again and dismissed! Keebo needs to avoid people shorter than himself, apparently it never goes well for him. Though he does get an unintentional stab at Himiko here by outright ignoring her ‘magic’ bit to clarify that they’re tricks. He isn’t too great at telling a sort of performance could cheer people up, sure...but people really should be thinking of other solutions too. but no we’re gonna dunk on the robot and go ‘shut up you’re dumb’. The fact he still attends when he clearly doesn’t get how it should help, or why...he’s trying so, so hard.

Korekiyo: Kehehe... Faith as intense as this can be quite terrifying. K1-B0: There may be no cause for concern. This does not appear to be related to our motive videos. Kaito: You're only worried about that? K1-B0: Of course. We cannot afford to take Monokuma’s motives lightly. Tsumugi: But...everyone who isn't here could be showing each other their videos, right?

yes kaito, he already expressed concern over Himiko’s behaviour and basically got told to sit down and shut up. Twice. Of course he’s only focused on the only thing he didn’t instantly get shut down over. You should have backed him up earlier! I really do love Kaito, but Keebo never really benefits from Kaito’s good qualities.  Free time again, he’s hanging out on the 3rd floor. Same general area as Maki’s lab...so basically alone, as usual.

K1-B0: A magic show...It seems unconnected to the killing game, so I do not foresee any issues with it... 

Fortune telling is not one of his skills. Though I suppose the show itself has no issues, it’s what happens before...This is also the last FT slot in the chapter so I’m smacking the level one FTE here.

K1-B0: Since you have come to speak to me...I can only assume that you've taken some sort of interest in me. Shuichi: Ah, well...you are a robot, after all. K1-B0: Indeed. Curiosity is a very useful human quality...Very well, I shall humor you. Shuichi: ...Hm. I feel as though he's talking down to me a little... K1-B0: So first, I will explain my functions. As a robot, I'm somewhat extraordinary compared to you. Shuichi: But...I remember you saying something about having the strength of an old person... K1-B0: T-True, but...Considering the tragedy that occurred during trial production, it was a logical design choice.Now first, is my visual acuity. I have 20/13 vision... Impressive, no? Shuichi: ...You think so? I believe that's pretty normal... K1-B0: What are you talking about!? Over 50% of high school students have less than 20/20 vision! But no matter what, my visual acuity will always be 20/13. Shuichi: If it got any worse, I suppose that would count as a malfunction... K1-B0: My next function will definitely surprise you. Shuichi, please raise your hand. Shuichi: Huh? My what? K1-B0: I want you to put your hand in front of my mouth. Shuichi: ...Like this? K1-B0 Haaaaaaaaaaa... Shuichi: ...What the hell is this? K1-B0: Haaaaaaaaaaa... Shuichi: Lukewarm breath grazed across my hand. Well, Keebo is a robot, so maybe not "breath"... K1-B0: How about that? In addition, my warm breath also functions as a dryer. Shuichi: Ah...I see... K1-B0: Now, now, you can't be surprised just yet, okay? Case in point, my hand can turn into a multi-tool! With both hands, I have 20 tools at my disposal! My finger can detect wafting aromas, and even distinguish between different scents! I also have a music player for when I'm bored. I can even play tapes and records. Neat, huh? Shuichi: I'm still thinking about how weird your breath felt, I dunno about your other functions... K1-B0: Don't be too surprised. After all, I am the Ultimate Robot! Shuichi: ...

The start of Keebo’s FTE is almost word for word how he starts with Kaede. This is how he introduces himself to people. This is him being confident and secure. Unlike Kaede though, Shuichi has no qualms in pointing out Keebo’s shortcomings instead of letting him chatter on like he does with Kaede. He spends a lot more time trying to show him new functions, apparently thinking he just needs to show one that’s a bit more ‘impressive’ to get a positive reaction. Like being asked questions, or at least a ‘oh that’s cool’ instead of ‘wait aren’t you weak’. But we’ll gloss over the the tragedy in trial production AGAIN. To the point he takes Shuichi’s baffled silence as a more positive reaction than of the others he got, seeing as he seems to think the detective is impressed...even though we know he’s not. It’s true most people don’t have twenty tools always on hand and a music player that can take tapes and records on them at all times but...it’s easy to dismiss as not that interesting. Even though he’s desperately fishing for validation here. The nicest answer we can get out of Shuichi here...is clearly a lie, to be honest. (Keebo probably uses that music function a lot.)

Shuichi: Y-Yeah...amazing K1-B0: Right? I am Professor Idabashi's masterpiece, after all. The professor's technology has given me the functions to support a life of comfort. Shuichi: A life of comfort... I see. That makes sense. K1-B0: However...My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

He takes it as a honest statement and instantly brings up how great his creator is. Keebo...cares about Professor Idabashi a lot. He is bragging, about himself...but everything he is is something his ‘father’ made. Or at least that’s what he thinks anyway...He wants people to know how great his dad is. and that’s sadly sweet. (Since he probably doesn’t exist. or care about him if he was made for this...) The part where he supports of a life of comfort is interesting though. Are you built to bring comfort to the professor, or mostly yourself Keebs? It could be both. It’s nice to think Keebo’s father figure would want him to be able to live comfortably...be able to stand on his own two feet as it were. He might not have a use for many of the functions, but he’s clearly thinks they’re valuable

Shuichi: That's actually pretty normal. K1-B0: Gh—! Wh-What do you mean, "normal"!? What do you know about robots!? The meaning of "normal" is purely subjective anyway! Don't assume your definition of normal is the same as mine! Shuichi: Oh no, he's really mad! K1-B0: F-Furthermore...! My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

ahahahaWHOOPS. Good job Shuichi, you genuinely upset him. Because you said his ‘father’s’ work is ‘normal’. Without the context of the ‘nicer’ reply, this can seem really out of left field! Keebo is usually all about being ‘normal’ and fitting in ‘like everyone else’ but here he goes basically spitting fire at Shuichi for it. What do you know about robots indeed Keebo...But hey, we get some of that impulsive side here, getting overwhelmed and just spitting out what he thinks right away. This is WAY more fight than we usually see him give Kokichi, and that guy’s mocking him all the time. probably because he hopes Shuichi is a better/nicer person than him but still. In contrast...

Shuichi: Ah...is that it? K1-B0: Is that it...? You mean, you're not impressed? Shuichi: Well, I assumed you would have more...special...functions. K1-B0: ...W-Well, you know...I *might* have a special function of sorts... Shuichi: ...Might? K1-B0: But Professor Idabashi told me to keep it a secret. I hope you get the chance to see it someday. And besides... My greatest attribute is actually not a function at all.

He just takes it when Shuichi is unimpressed. Clearly Shuichi not being impressed with him is a shortcoming on his part, not the Professor, or his work. Being told he’s lame or disappointing is something we’ve seen a lot of...and apparently that doesn’t trigger his get mad buttons. Think he’s...kinda used to it by chapter 2. Though Keebo will still try and fish for later attention by suggesting he does have a ‘special’ function he’s been told to keep a secret. (Though...what Keebo things is special might not rate such praise from others)

Shuichi: It isn't? K1-B0: You can't tell what it is? It's my compact, lightweight design that makes my various functions possible! This is what truly drives Professor Idabashi's technological revolution! Well? Now do you understand just how amazing I am? Shuichi: I don't know how to respond to his boasting...Maybe someone like Miu would really appreciate his mechanics. Shuichi understandably is ‘ you’re like slightly less heavy than Gonta and he’s way bigger than you Keebo wtf do you mean’. This makes far more sense when you know KEEBO CAN FLY. He’s lightweight enough for that That is incredible. Too bad Keebo doesn’t actually like flying, according to him. Though really, being light enough to travel around where humans can fairly easily when he’s made is metal and carrying quite a bit of hardware is similarly impressive, even if Shuichi doesn’t really see it. He does correctly get that Miu would probably be impressed though! sorry keebo your attempts to look self assured have failed yet again. (As I wonder if Keebo feels he can be above or below humans, but not equal considering how little success he has and how his final FTE finishes but mhm we’ll get there.) Keebo is ones already grabbed by Gonta by the time Shuichi gets dragged in.

Korekiyo: The same is true of the rest of us. We were all seized by Gonta...and brought here. Tenko: But Shuichi's the only one who got knocked out. K1-B0: Gonta apologized for that. Apparently he couldn't slow down in time when he tried to grab you. Shuichi: What is this anyway...? Why did Gonta do this?

Gotta let Shuichi know that Gonta is sorry. Gonta is probably one of the nicer ones to him in general, so it’s not a big surprise that he’s already forgiving the guy for dragging him here, and hoping Shuichi doesn’t blame him either. Since we know who’s to blame....

K1-B0: I do not think Gonta would ever decide on his own to capture us. What is Kokichi trying to accomplish by taking advantage of Gonta's naivete? Regardless, I cannot forgive his nonchalant attitude about using people!

...haha keebo’s being nonchalantly used by tons of people...Anyway he doesn’t blame Gonta for this at all, understandably and is already going ‘what is that little gremlin up to?' He’s been concerned about this exact thing for days but wasn’t able to do anything about it. He even clarifies that even if there was a ‘good’ reason, he cannot stand for Kokichi just using Gonta like this...but unfortunately won’t be able to prevent it the second time either.

Kokichi: Isn’t it great!? Only an evil supreme leader like me could do something so...eeeeeevil! K1-B0: Kokichi...why are you doing this? Kokichi: Oh, I thought we could throw ourselves a little screening party with all our videos. With all you here, exchanging our motive videos wouldn't be that difficult at all...And I wanna see your videos, too, so I figured we could all binge-watch them together! K1-B0: D-Do you know what will happen if you do that? Kokichi: Ummm... Everyone will know their motive and a killing will be more likely to happen? But I like playing on Mean difficulty. Also, I don't run from battles in RPGs, either! I wanna win this killing game! So I'm not gonna run from it, I'm gonna crush it! That’ll be waaaay less boring, don’tcha think?

protag and rival square off. Or more Kokichi monologues his evil plan. Keebo’s the one to confront him about it first...and oh look, Danganronpa reference in regards to difficultly level. I wonder if he suspects he’s talking to a camera already. After all, he decides the gathered group is ‘enough’ for the little viewing party even though Gonta couldn’t get everyone. Five missing people is quite a few.

K1-B0: It seems I must be the one to take care of this. With my talent, Kokichi, I will stop- Kokichi: Yeah, yeah. I don't have time to listen to some robot. Let's see...it's exactly 9 pm. right now. I should be back by nighttime. Welp! Have fun with the bugs till then!

sorry keebo you don’t get to have monologues. He just listed to yours Kokichi, get back here and listen to the whole thing. It is good to see Keebo taking initiative though! Even if...people are not going to be all that impressed even though it works.

Tenko: M-My Neo-Aikido is no match for Gonta's superhuman strength either... K1-B0: ...We still have a chance when Kokichi comes back. That’s when I will take care of this. Everyone, please just endure it until then. Shuichi: E-Endure it—

Hey remember how all the cameras in the game are apparently magically tiny bug bears? So feasibly all CGs could just be shots from them? How are there bugs on the edges on such a tiny camera? ...Well we have a bigger camera at this scene, don’t we! keebo’s totally buried by bugs like himiko is ohno. Keebo might not be able to get bitten, but he’s not having a good time at the insect meet and greet either. He doesn’t talk during it, and his post dialogue doesn’t mention his own feelings. I imagine bugs crawling inside him would be unpleasant though :v Hopefully that didn’t happen. All those armored plates have edges for things to get at though...hm.

K1-B0: ...Thank you for enduring it, everyone. This is the last chance. Please leave the rest to me.

He is gonna help! do your best you funky little robot. Though if anyone had stopped Kokichi from leaving or made him have to listen to the speech Keebo could have done this an hour ago. This is why you back up your robot buddy, kids.

Kokichi: Oh, don't worry about it, Gonta. Just keep watch so these guys don't— K1-B0: That’s it! I won’t let you do as you please! Kokichi: Hm? K1-B0: I didn't want to use this unless I absolutely had to. It eats up a lot of my electricity. But that’s neither here nor there! I will stop you right here, right now! Shuichi: Keebo...what are you going to do...? K1-B0: ... Shuichi: Still glaring at Kokichi, Keebo slowly reach a hand behind his ear...and spun the mechanical parts there. Tsumugi: He's lighting up!? Is he gonna self-destruct or— *whirrr...* Tenko: Huh? What's that sound? K1-B0: One moment please... I'm rewinding the tape right now. Himiko: The tape?

Shuichi: Keebo shouted out and pushed his palm against his ear That's when... ‘Is this your doing, Kokichi? Did you have Gonta kidnap us?’ Was that...my voice? ‘Nee-heehee...he's so simple-minded. As soon as I told him that everyone who hates bugs was trying to get rid of them......he started crying, and said that he would get you guys to love bugs...or something like that.’ Could this be...? K1-B0: So, what do you think!? You just saw my audio recording function for the first time! Tenko: Did he really just whip out an audio recorder like it’s some kinda secret weapon!? Tsumugi: Really? It’s a cassette tape? In this day and age? K1-B0: But it’s metal tape, you know!? Tsumugi: The sound quality isn't the issue! K1-B0: L-Let's just put this aside now. More importantly, it seems to have worked.

Over the top and flashy for...recording audio with very good quality. No wonder it uses so much electricity if he needs to light up to get it to work. Or he was just trying to show off since he’s personally getting back at Kokichi for this actions here...or at least making sure he’ll see some consequences. Not that it matters, he just gets made fun of anyway...even if he tries to defend the tape being metal as a way to seem less unimpressive. 

K1-B0: We must run while we still can! Tenko: Wait! We need to take back our Kubs Pads first! Shuichi: Tenko snatched the Kubs Pads from Kokichi. Kokichi: Awwww... Shuichi: Then, we all ran out of the lab. After leaving the room, I could still hear the muffled buzzing and Kokichi screaming.

yup keebo leads the fleeing out and totally leaves him there to his fate. With audible screams. He might be nice but he’s got limits. and apparently being locked in a room for like two hours being swarmed with bugs is one of those limits! Though I think he’s still more bothered by the ‘using Gonta’ bit. After they get out Monodam takes the pads to return them...

Tsumugi: But out of all of them, we can probably trust that one, right? K1-B0: Shall we go back to our dorms? It is well past nighttime. Angie: Nyahahaha, that's true! We have the magic show tomorrow.

of course you’d think that Tsumugi. We trust the robotic one that kills it’s siblings. Though they are the ‘friendliest’ cub...it just makes me think of another robot who gets determined to kill all their friends for the greater good hm. Keebo just thinks all his human friends should get some sleep, but he’s probably wanting to go charge if that light show just gobbled a chunk of his battery. It must be one hell of a drain if he can go a week normally without worry... Which he somewhat confirms in the morning.

Shuichi: Ah, Keebo. Good morning. K1-B0: Good morning, Shuichi How are you feeling today? Are you still sore from the events of last night? Shuichi: Ah, I'm fine. Are *you* alright? K1-B0: Yes, I’m fine. I’ve recharged the electricity that I used on my recording function. Even so...I'm very happy that I was finally able to use my functions to help everyone! Shuichi: Keebo's recording function... It's not exactly revolutionary technology, but it did help a lot. Yes, thank you, Keebo. You really earned your title of Ultimate Robot. K1-B0: Oh, it was nothing, really. If you ever need my help for anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Shuichi: Ahaha... Yeah, I sure will. K1-B0: So...the magic show is starting soon, yes? Everyone has probably gathered in the gym already. We should get going as well.

Shuichi actually asks if Keebo’s alright! Actual concern instead of more dunking! Keebo asking if Shuichi is okay is not as much of a surprise, but it’s nice to see he admits he’s happy that he was able to be helpful. He wants to be useful. Goes and downplays how he helped in order to keep stressing how ‘please ask me if you need help I WANT TO HELP’ :v Then he’s off to go to the Magic show, which he probably isn’t super interested in but Everyone Should Be There, so he’s gonna go. Also, we learn from Angie that Keebo and Kaito were the designated equipment carriers from Himiko’s lab. I guess it wasn’t too heavy, or Kaito might have been doing the brunt of the lifting. Also, when you talk to Angie before the show...

Angie: Tenko, you’re trembling. I've told you many times that Atua loves all His creations. Tenko: What do you mean, all his creations!? That's way too much love! What about Monokuma, huh? Does Atua love him, too? Angie: Of course. So we must love Monokuma, so that our love will reach him. Tenko: Shaddup already! Robots can't feel love! They can't feel any emotions at all! K1-B0: And yet...I felt a strange pain in my chest after you just said that...

y u gotta do this Tenko, he’s RIGHT HERE. or at least apologize! But no, we’re just gonna let Keebo know his emotions he’s feeling aren’t real I guess. You two were getting on okay, so of course he’s upset...but this does also set up a little more that Keebo’s heard Angie say Atua accepts robots twice now.

K1-B0: This is quite a professional-looking set. However, considering how unsettled Himiko is...We might not get to witness for ourselves the skill of the Ultimate Magician. How unfortunate.

Well, he’s impressed by the work his friends did! And seems like he’s at least semi-interested in seeing Himiko’s talent in action, even if he knows it’s trickery, not magic. He’s always ready to be a supportive sort of friend and praise their efforts. not that he gets it back all that much. He does get caught up in the tension of the show and seems to worry a bit after Gonta runs up to the stage.

K1-B0: Um...Less than ten seconds remain...

Notably, he’s also one of the ones who looks to be mid movement after this line...(there’s a lot of CGs for this part, huh)

K1-B0: Look! The piranhas! Tenko: H-Hurry! The curtains! Open the curtains already!

Then Ryoma is shown to be very very dead. Due to how everyone who wasn’t at the show rushes in, there aren't as many reactions before...well.

Kokichi: Yeah, break it. It’ll take too long to drain it by hand. Shuichi: But what would we even use to break— Kokichi: Gonta! Kee-boy! You’re up! K1-B0: Huh? What do you mean, we're up? Kokichi: Gonta, throw Kee-boy as hard as you can! Use that robot like a battering ram! K1-B0: Who are you calling a battering ram!? Gonta: Gonta throw Keebo! Got it! Tenko: Then, I’ll help too! K1-B0: N-Now wait just a second. You don't need to team up now—

K1-B0: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

robot gets yeeted despite protests because guy no one likes says to. Why are all you guys so mean to this poor robot. You could have seriously hurt him! Good thing he’s waterproof, but he still got treated as a thing and probably got nasty blood water all over him >> Does anyone even say ‘sorry’? Or even thank you? NO. being keebo is suffering, like it’s pretty funny but MAN these kids are jerks to him.

K1-B0: I’ve...gathered Ryoma’s body and belongings...in one place... Shuichi: Keebo looks depressed... He *was* just used as a battering ram, so I understand why.

maybe apologize for what happened? or tell Kokichi off, or Gonta for listening and Tenko for just going along with it? no? ok sure we’ll just leave him staring listlessly after carrying the remains of his friend while soaked in his blood, why not. after all he doesn’t have feelings, apparently. 

Korekiyo: In any event...let us begin the investigation. K1-B0: Investigation... So it's really going to start again. Tsumugi: I can't believe it... One of us killed Ryoma...

yes you can tsumugi. Why are you always talking near keebs this chapter. Unsurprisingly, Keebo still doesn’t really like the idea of a class trial and what it means, but I suppose it gives him something to think about that isn’t how he has zero respect around here. Anyway, Maki says ‘nope, i’m out’

Miu: The fuck is that bitch's problem!? She's seriously not gonna investigate!? K1-B0: That seems...rather irresponsible. Korekiyo: She likely assumes someone else will take care of it...and I suppose she isn't wrong.  

Considering you all die if you’re wrong, irresponsible is certainly a word that works. He doesn’t do name calling or anything though, just points out the behavour. She’s busy trying to hide she’s an assassin, but it isn’t like the rest of the kids have too much time to worry about that. Keebo is probably a bit more shaken than he lets on though, he doesn’t confront or talk to Kokichi at all while he’s busy accusing Himiko, and usually he does!

Kirumi: To solve this mystery, we must first learn the trick behind Himiko’s Underwater Escape Act... K1-B0: We have no choice in the matter. Shuichi: He’s right...we have no choice. We have no choice but to find the culprit who killed Ryoma. This investigation is to save all of our lives...because we’re risking our lives in the class trial!

Behold as Kirumi tries to send both protags on a pointless wild goose chase! The underwater trick and how it works turns out to be completely irrelevant! Which of course, Kirumi knows and is banking on. :v She’s sneaky. Anyway, Kaito is Shuichi’s partner for this case...

K1-B0: Although there are many unknown variables, the first thing we need to make clear is...when was Ryoma murdered? Kaito: Well, in the middle of the show, obviously. The culprit knew how Himiko's trick worked and took advantage of it to kill Ryoma. In other words, everyone watching the show isn't suspicious. K1-B0: ...Kaito, you didn’t attend the show either, did you? Kaito: N-No, but I'm still not suspicious. I forgot a promise...so I was just eating breakfast. You got it!? I’m not suspicious! K1-B0: I do not understand how that explanation is supposed to convince me. Shuichi: Keebo does have a point...

Robot is right, ‘when’ the murder happened is one of the most important details of the case. So thankfully, he didn’t just immediately try and follow Kirumi’s ill motivated advice. Apparently if Kaito gets questioned by Keebo his brain just goes into shock. Kaito isn’t dumb but he has this weird habit of getting flustered with Keebo’s blunt questions. Maybe because he’s figured out Keebs wants some reasonable explanations! and he doesn’t really have one and just...tries to justify himself in a way Keebs is not impressed with at all. He doesn’t provide any other information, but that’s not a big shock. Considering he was both at the show and the meet and greet and had to recharge, he didn’t really have a chance to see anything of use for this case. this will be a trend.

Shuichi: The fragments of the broken glass water tank have been piled up. There are so many tiny pieces...Gonta and Tenko certainly didn't hold back when they threw Keebo at the glass.

More proof of robot abuse. but really Keebo doesn’t come up much in this investigation. Kirumi actually shows up a second time to distract Shuichi by giving the ‘clue’ that Gonta was the last to see Maki at 8PM. She really had plans to not get caught. We have no need to hear from our robot friend again until pre-trial time.

K1-B0: ...Is everyone ready? Gonta: Not like we have choice, right? Korekiyo: Kehehe... You are quick to understand. It's as though Monokuma has you trained.

Has all of you trained, Kiyo. But Keebo’s doing his protag job in asking the obvious question to prompt responses :v

K1-B0: I did not calculate that we would gather here under these circumstances again...What would Kaede say if she saw us right now...?

I suppose it is also your job to hope. Though it is a little sad that he’s worried about letting Kaede down. Most of the others are more concerned about the trial and the case surrounding it at the moment, but this is what he’s stuck on. Shame and disbelief. this robot understands empathy very well, okay.  Class trial time :v

Kirumi: But it does point to Himiko being the most suspicious. K1-B0: Ryoma died during Himiko's magic show. Korekiyo: His body appearing in the water tank leads one to think the escape trick played a part. It’s only natural we suspect Himiko. She was the one performing the trick.

oh look who’s the first person to agree Himiko is suspect after Kokichi/Angie point to her. Keebo is just outright wrong here! This is why he is not the detective :v Somewhere along the way he’s decided ‘during the show’ was the time of death, whoops. This is also a bit weird becauseeee after the nonstop debate about the cause of death...

Angie: Ryoma drowned, Himiko changed places with him, and then the piranhas ate him. Right? K1-B0: No, Himiko only had 60 seconds to escape from the tank...Even if they changed places at the start of the show, that's insufficient time to drown someone. Kirumi: If that is the case, then when did he drown?

watch out the robot knows how long it takes to drown a man. But this is why his other comment is weird...he knows Ryoma couldn’t have drowned during the show? I suppose he didn’t know the cause of death...but it’s in the monofile...throwaway line you aren't meant to think about too hard but dang it

Korekiyo: Yes... By that point, he had already joined the ranks of the dead. K1-B0: Could that mean his body was hidden until the culprit made it appear in the tank? Gonta: Hidden...where? Kirumi: The culprit would have had to hide the body near the tank, and then show it during the act.

He gets back on the right track after Shuichi points out Ryoma had to die before the show. I super didn’t notice this the first time I played, but Kirumi is always here to make the correct idea seem unlikely and try and steer conversation away from it! and of course kokichi helps her derail it back to explaining the trick.

K1-B0: How did Himiko escape the water tank? Angie: Maybe she just climbed out and no one noticed.

So Keebo kicks off the non-stop debate about the water tank :v Because asking a question is his favourite thing to do, and he just tried suggesting the body could be hidden, so he’s filled his doing things quota.

Shuichi: The staircase also has an escape hatch, one facing away from us. It’s placed so that the water would not drain from the staircase. K1-B0: In which case, a person could exit and leave water inside the staircase. Shuichi: However, that person would be soaked, meaning that *some* trace should be left...That would explain why there was a puddle around the stairs...

Rephrase for the audience and give Shuichi a gap before he has to launch into another explanation. He’s quick to pick up the logic, but he doesn’t really need to apply it since Shuichi usually does that part too :v

Shuichi: ...It's because she changed her uniform. K1-B0: The dormitory is stocked with uniforms. Did you hide one behind the stage in advance? Himiko: Nyeh... Nyeeeh! Angie: I remember seeing Himiko go to the gym this morning, carrying a uniform and a towel.

He does get to do it here though! V3 is nice in letting the other characters also confirm things without Shuichi’s handholding, but he will still be doing the bulk of it, obviously :v keebs can be smart.

Miu: So Himiko went in the stairs with the body!? What kinda kinky shit is she into!? K1-B0: That seems unlikely. There isn't enough space for two people to fit in there. Tsumugi: Yeah, the stairs are pretty cramped. It'd be hard to fit even Ryoma and Himiko in there.

Keebo makes a point, Tsumugi takes the chance to reiterate it to be ‘helping’ by doing very little :v Angie argues for a switcheroo which leads to the next debate, Shuichi refutes it, leading to

Korekiyo: She had no need to worry about us witnessing her at that point. For the entire stage was hidden behind a curtain. To all but Gonta, anyway. K1-B0: Then the culprit never would have considered hiding inside the staircase with the body.Entering the staircase *after* moving the body is much faster, and seems more rational too! Tsumugi: Then...Ryoma’s body wasn’t hidden in the stairs?

He’s back again to confirm his earlier point was correct! With extra logic on his side thanks to Gonta going where he wasn’t meant to. and yes mugi that is what he just said please pay attention. He’ll keep defending it too, such as in the debate afterwards.

Tsumugi: It wasn't really in the stairs, was it? K1-B0: After all, there was only enough space for Himiko.

Shuichi’s busy agreeing with Korikiyo here since he actually goes into what another option might be other than reiterating it’s not the stairs. Trial goes on, Miu correctly accuses Kirumi but of course, it’s too early and baseless so we need to argue with her.

Gonta: I-Is too soon to tell. We should hear what everyone has to say, right? Miu: Fuck that noise! K1-B0: But, Miu, you don't have an alibi for when the crime occurred either, do you? Miu: Y-You think I’m suspicious? I...don’t even know where the gym is.

oh Miu. Robot is always glad to point out relatively simple contradictions like this and get people flustered. Not one to accuse though, since he might simply not know something...

Tenko: Anyway, among those four, the culprit must be the one who doesn't have an alibi! K1-B0: ...I apologize but given the circumstances, we have no choice but to suspect you. Tenko: Suspect who!? Who’s the culprit!?

Even though he says sorry, this triggers a mass panic debate :v Though it’s the logical thing to do, he can occasionally figure out putting people on the spot for murder can be uncomfortable and apologize for it. This is a friendly robot who is way nicer than most people are to him gdi. Miu, Kaito and Kirumi squabble it out. Keebs ends up being in TWO conversations :v

Miu: I have an alibi! K1-B0: What is your alibi? Miu: When I was running from Gonta...Things got a little...heated if ya catch my drift.

He caught it, and apparently had no interest in following up, as that segment switches to Angie asking after Maki’s alibi. Keebo decides to poke at Kirumi’s alibi instead. which is the weak point for this debate. All business today it seems!

Kirumi: That was five minutes before 9:00 p.m. K1-B0: Did you really leave the gym at 9:00 p.m.? Are you sure you did not stay at the gym?

Of course the bullet that breaks it is Kokichi’s account. Because Kokichi and Keebo get on like a house on fire :v which of course means it’s time for the two to squabble again.

Kirumi: This information could have been told to us beforehand. Kokichi: Sorry! Forgot! I definitely didn’t keep it a secret to make the trial more interesting! K1-B0: Forgot...? It seems far more plausible that you were telling another lie. Kokichi: Unlike robots, we meatbags can't pull out our memories from our hard drive. K1-B0: Was that supposed to offend me? Your irrationality fills me with pity...

Of course, the alibi ends up being worthless since the time of the crime isn’t what the kids think it is. (Later it’ll damn Kirumi but right now? not so much.) It makes Kirumi look like less of a suspect so it’s actively harmful, whoops :v So were you ‘forgetting’ because it won’t help solve the case yet...or just having fun. Either way, Keebo shows that he really needs to install a sarcasm detector, that was REALLY blatant. But sassy robot returns, he goes from angry to eye rolling once he realizes it’s more of a backhanded complement than an insult. ‘Why yes my memory IS better than yours, annoying purple meatbag’. Too bad it ultimately leads to Kirumi being off the hook so Kokichi can get his ‘make Maki and Kaito fightfightfight’ game on but I like this interaction. He gets to feel proud of himself a little :v He keeps this attitude for a bit, considering...

K1-B0: Most of that was unintelligible nonsense, but it would seem that Miu has an actual alibi. Kokichi: Yup. It took a while, but at least we got everyone's alibis cleared up...We should remember all of this, in case we need to recall these events again.

oh no they’re AGREEING. someone check hell it’s probably freezing over. But lookit that swipe at Miu. They really don’t start off on the right foot at all! We get the everyone’s alibi bullet which still ultimately means nothing(for now)...and Kokichi gets the fight ball rolling with a...surprising assist from Keebo?

Kokichi: If one of them is the culprit, then the innocent one should know who the guilty one is. Yeah? Because if you know you're not the culprit, then you can just accuse the other person. K1-B0: Yes, that is true. Kokichi: Which means, there is one person among us who definitely knows who the culprit is! To that someone who knows... Do your best to convince us! Work harder!

He’s still eye rolling here, but offers his agreement. which yes, it is true...if either of the accused is the culprit. Which they aren’t. Keebo doesn’t know this, obviously but it’s still weird to see them ‘working together’, but this happens more often the further we go. Mostly because Keebo will follow anything with a solid/logical backing. Kokichi might be a liar, but he generally has a solid bit of evidence or logic to springboard off of. (even when taking us in the WRONG DIRECTION. if you wanted to pressure maki we could have done this in a way easier way you little gremlin). So really, these two will team up more often than Keebo would with say...Kaito, who prompts his next line.

Kaito: Hmph... You don't get it. This isn't just any hunch...This is an official hunch from *the* Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! Tsumugi: Wh-What...? K1-B0: How illogical... This is even more difficult to comprehend than Kokichi's antics. Kokichi: You're totally not serious! You can't be *that* stupid, right?

Yup. Kaito is more confusing than Kokichi. Kaito is basing Maki’s innocence on nothing but what he feels, which people can sort of get. We all have ‘hunches’, the backs of our brains picking up on little things that we might not actively be paying attention to, and he’s got a lot of belief and trust to give. We can get it, some people you just want to trust! Keebo doesn’t get it. Error, no input found, please give me a provable, actual reason for that hunch. I kind of think he doesn’t even get hunches himself. He can clearly worry, or have concern, but he might lack those sort of gut feelings on if you can trust something or not. After all, he can actively search through his own ‘brain’ and explain why he feels a certain way, he doesn’t need to just ‘have a feeling’. Kokichi following Keebo up here to slap an insult on an honest statement of ‘i have no goddamned idea what you’re on about’ is just expected :v

Kirumi: So...you do not have any evidence. K1-B0: Only baseless conjecture. Tenko: B-But...I totally get where he's coming from! Cuz I wanna believe in Himiko too!

Kaito’s inspiring speech broke zero ground in the ‘make the everyone understand’ attempt. Whoops. So Keebo’s backing up the murderer pointing out the lack of proof. As it is baseless conjecture. You need a fact, or at least a lie presented as fact to get him to understand what you’re driving at. This is honestly interesting, considering he’s ‘hope’ motivated later on. There’s nothing logical about a meaningless hope! So it feels less like him and more his...helpful voice telling him to ignore logic... Maki fesses up to say she saw Ryoma at nighttime

K1-B0: So Ryoma was still alive at nighttime!? Tenko: I thought the crime took place between 8 and 10 o'clock at night?

He’s not on board yet, but he’s listening! Even though if true, haha we spent all that time talking about stuff that doesn’t matter.

Miu: Quit fuckin' around! You think I'm dumb enough to swallow that line of crap!? Kirumi: Yes, this seems too convenient. K1-B0: But why did Maki wait until now to mention that? Kokichi: Ah-hahahaha! It’s totally obvious! Maki’s sooo desperate that she has to lie!

oh hi kirumi no big surprise you simply go ‘no it is garbage’. Keebo’s the one to offer a way out by asking why exactly she didn’t mention it until now, he’s not instantly saying it’s out of the question. Kokichi follows up to try and press that it’s a lie, answering his question. Which probably just tells him that he should keep listening, since Kokichi lies so much :v

Kirumi: Does this mean you an Ryoma recived one another’s motive video? Maki: Maybe... I actually didn't check the one I got, so I wouldn't know. K1-B0: Maki admitted earlier that she hadn't checked her Kubs Pad. Angie: Then why did Ryoma think that Maki had his motive video? Kaito: If he went around asking at random, he might've asked some people besides Maki. Miu: He never asked me! He probably never asked you guys either, right!? K1-B0: Then...who was it that told Ryoma about his Kubs Pad?

Flexing that good memory, and giving Maki a little backup. After all, Keebo’s an expert in what it feels like to get dismissed :v He them prompts Shuichi to Do His Thing in calling Kokichi out as the one who told Ryoma. (Though he doesn't actually get to make him answer before they get derailed again) Though even though he’s willing to listen and belive she possibly did see Ryoma...he’s still not too thrilled about Maki’s choice to keep it secret.

Korekiyo: *If* that story is true... Maki: ...It's true. K1-B0: Then why did you wait until now to bring that up? Maki: I didn’t say anything until now because I wasn’t in the mood to be suspected.

He’s pointing and everything. He’ll believe you but darn it explain. He wants to understandddd. But still, no name calling or excessive rudeness, because he is a good lad who doesn’t threaten or do such things. She explains not wanting to be suspected buuuut

Kaito: Well, whatever. Either way, let's just believe Maki. Angie: Yes, yes. Those who believe shall be saved. K1-B0: No, we need to wait. There is still more to confirm— Shuichi: Well then, why don’t we ask Kokichi?

couldn’t you wait for him to finish the goddamned sentence Shuichi. Still, Keebo’s not a hasty one, the second Kaito wants to just go ‘good enough’ robot is right back to WAIT NO THAT’S NOT LOGICAL. It does get Kokichi to properly admit he knows who had who’s pads though. More squabbling about believing Maki ensues...

Korekiyo: I find Maki's testimony suspicious. It's far too...convenient for her. K1-B0: This is...difficult to determine. Kokichi: Maki is lying! Like I said before, a liar like me knows their own kind!

Are you trying to convince Keebo, Kokichi? You keep reiterating your point right after he speaks. Keebo is basically admitting he’s completely undecided and not taking a stand either way, but he’s usually pretty wishy-washy...because having an opinion involves what he thinks. and he doesn’t like admitting what he’s thinking very much. Certainly not if he doesn’t have a fact to back him up. Shuichi lies in the following debate. keebo will basically always follow shuichi, he’s the ultimate detective. Though hearing everyone else agree/trust him first probably lets him consider it true more easily. (and kokichi just nudging shuichi he saw that lie but not doing anything about it...)

Himiko: So we're right back where we started... What a pain. K1-B0: However, it should be clear now that the crime occurred after nighttime began. Kirumi:  But then when was Ryoma's body placed inside the piranha tank?

Maki’s testimony + Kokichi’s admitting of telling Ryoma Maki had his kubspad + Shuichi’s lie about overhearing= enough to set this as ‘the truth’ for Keebo. It is true, but here comes Kirumi to instantly derail them to the wrong detail first. When doesn’t really matter right now!

Miu: So did we fuck up by thinkin’ the body got stuffed into the piranha tank? K1-B0: I don't think so. We have evidence to prove that's what happened. Tenko: Then when did the culprit throw the body into the piranha tank?

There is evidence, and even then he’s saying ‘think’. he’s so hesitant to speak in absolutes right now. As he might be wrong :v The whole Maki debacle was confusing for him. But now Tenko is repeating the question Kirumi posed and we go on a merry goose chase and have a scrum debate about it. Keebo’s on Shuichi’s side again. (He always will be, with one exception.) He doesn’t actually have a line though! He just gets to shout THIS IS OUR ANSWER with everyone.

K1-B0: That means it was certainly possible to put the body in the piranha tank from the window... Shuichi: However, I’m also positive the pane dividing the piranha tank was set up beforehand. Korekiyo: That certainly couldn't be tossed in. It would need to be placed carefully. Kirumi: Even if the culprit were to throw the body from outside the window...The window is far too high. It cannot be reached from the floor.

protag explaining tag team. Shuichi speaks more confidently in trials, saying things like ‘he’s confident’ while Keebo is hovering around with ‘possible’. You think our detective is an anxious mess half the time? so’s the robot :v oh and Kirumi is once again pointing out ‘problems’ to try and get the line of thought dropped. It works, considering we start going on about the ladder and whatnot and slam headlong into a logic wall until Maki says ‘okay no, time to talk about Where Die, not how get in fish tank’. You knew too Kokichi don’t you ‘ Why didn't anyone realize this yet?’ me :v

Shuichi: That’s important to remember...it’s not as if everyone here *wants* us to find the truth. One of us is trying to sabotage this trial... K1-B0: Well then, let's discuss the crime scene to figure out who the culprit is. Himiko: That's not a bad idea for a robot. The last time I heard such a good idea was......when Nino told me to move in with her under the bridge to get out of the cold. Tenko: Himikawa Under the Bridge!?

it’s a Arakawa Under the Bridge reference :v Honestly there’s tons of references in the game in general and we can totally blame Tsumugi for them. Keebs is glad to be the one to agree to a new topic though. Then he doesn’t have to state an opinion and can just fish for everyone else’s thoughts! He doesn’t even react to the ‘for a robot’ crack at him. :c Though for good reason I suppose when no one takes you seriously and judges you on a dime. Next nonstop debate to establish the crime scene...

Angie: Wasn't it the dorm room? Ryoma was relaxing in his room when he got attacked. K1-B0: But the cause of death was drowning. There is nothing in his room that could collect enough water.

Refuting Angie’s idea with a pointless weak point. I DO think the white noise that goes across when Miu goes ‘S-S-Sow’ might be Keebo though. ‘This is difficult to watch’ does match his general speaking style, and probable opinion :v

Angie: Hmmm...How did those handcuffs get from the lab to the water tank? Maki: Because Ryoma was wearing them, right? K1-B0: Yes, though they were only visible for a brief moment when Ryoma appeared in the tank. I am certain he was wearing the handcuffs at the time. Kirumi: The handcuffs were left after the piranhas devoured Ryoma

He did it, he said he was certain about something! Good job. Considering perfect memory and the horror that was that moment it was probably very easy to recall. oh dear keebo has perfect memories of all his friends corpses. that can’t be fun. oh and the fun of being THROWN AT THE REMAINS. Kirumi ‘helps’ with the easy logic of handcuffs didn’t get eaten. :v Now we’re working with the angle of body movement now that we know it came from Ryoma’s ultimate lab. Tenko suggests just tossing the body from the pool area...

Kirumi: Your explanation contradicts some things we discussed earlier. The gym window was too high to reach from the pool side, even if one used the ladder. Tenko: That’s right! I apologize! I must go on a journey to reflect on this! K1-B0: We keep hitting dead ends, since we don't know how the body was thrown into the gym... Kokichi: Nee-heehee... Well, that didn't really give us any info about the crime.

So of course the murderer tries to make it sound impossible, since we’re getting a bit too close to the truth! Keebo’s frustrated at this point, he’s eye rolling again with no leads to how it was actually done. He hasn’t considered the new approaches that could be possible now that they know where everything started. Kokichi ‘agreeing’ with him should be a tip off though :v shuichi goes and drives a brain taxi and raises the rope possibility.

Kirumi: Is the rope long enough to reach both windows? Korekiyo: The rope is roughly 65 feet in length. As for the distance between the windows... K1-B0: According to the sign at the pool, the width of the pool is roughly 35 feet...and the distance from the edges of the pool to the windows is an additional 16 feet. Altogether, the sum total length from one window to the other is roughly 50 feet. Gonta: And pool is only thing between research lab and gym windows... Miu: You bet it’s long enough! Heh! That’s what she said!

Chatty when he can do something easy like math! Numbers make sense and don’t confuse him with believing and who is working against them. Miu does basically sum up what Keebo took a paragraph to say tho. Since he needs to show his work. he likes having proof, and assumes everyone else likes knowing how he got the answer too. oh and reminder gonta is still plenty smart, he points out how to do the rope trick here. Then we talk about the zipline-i mean ropeway.

Korekiyo: You say the culprit placed their foot on the windowsill? Isn't that against school rules? It would count as entering the gym, would it not? Monosuke: Last time we got asked that question, we decided it was okay. Stickin' your body through the window is an automatic out, but standing on the sill is— K1-B0: Wait, who asked you last time? Monosuke: ...Eh? K1-B0: It is quite possible that the culprit went to you to confirm the details of their plan... Monosuke: ... ...O-Oh shiiiiit!

He does know how to press on something suspicious! Not too surprising he’s the one to confront a Kub, he even cut him off to do this. Keebo seems to put more stock in what the Monokubs say or do at any given time anyway. Of course, he won’t answer, but it isn’t really necessary. Just confirming someone asked was enough, which that freakout accomplished. Kirumi tries to sidetrack again with the ‘multiple trips’ thing...

Korekiyo: Which is why the crime was committed during nighttime, while we all slumbered. K1-B0: But if the culprit was so careful to recover the rope they used to commit the crime...Why did they leave the inner tube in the pool? Shuichi: I believe that was an accident.

He really, really loves questioning things. This part doesn’t make sense, better ask about it, and hurrah, my detective has an answer ready to go. He might not contribute much himself, but he does provide setup :v Shuichi announces Kirumi as his top suspect...

Korekiyo: That is not yet a certainty. Let us hear her testimony first. K1-B0: Is this true, Kirumi? Kirumi: I cannot believe you would suspect me...If that is the case, then I will have to deny it. I will not let you make the wrong choice.

question.exe is always running. i swear. Still, never just taking it right away, he wants to hear an answer. Snap judgements are not his thing. Even if he does lean towards believing Shuichi. because he has secret protag sensing powers. Trial 2 is such a change from one with how hard Kirumi fights here. since kaede did not want to kill everyone :v Keebs says quiet until he’s heard enough proof to throw his support behind Shuichi again

Shuichi: Just tying the rope to the frame wouldn't cause so much damage. The rope that was tied to the frames must have been weighed down significantly. The frames didn't break, but they were left with distinct marks. K1-B0: Those scratches are proof that you used a rope to carry the body to the windowsill. Kirumi: ... Kokichi: Oh? What’s wrong, Kirumi? What’s wrong, what’s wrong!? Hey, what’s wrong? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!?

Pictured: two very different confrontation styles. I suppose it makes sense Keebo would be knowledgeable about scratches on metal :v He’ll just state some proof that goes with Shuichi’s statement, while Kokichi attempts to annoy her into submission instead. Shuichi brings up the black fabric/the ‘everyone’ thing and Kirumi slips.

Kirumi: Y-Yeah, so what? You’re still wrong! Your logic is flawed!!! K1-B0: Kirumi...why are you becoming increasingly erratic? Korekiyo: Kehehe... There is such absolute beauty in trying to fight against the truth.

:c He’s confused again. Yelling out questioning perfectly good logic is strange for her, emotionally charged, and he hasn’t really figured out guilt and panic makes people act out strangely. He knows the feelings exist, but not the full extent they can go to. and really it can’t be fun to watch someone so collected start falling apart because they murdered another one of your friends and is going to die for it...

Shuichi: The extra uniforms in our rooms are made of the same material we're wearing now. We can test my theory by comparing the fabric scrap with your glove. Kirumi: Gh...grgh... K1-B0: ...Well, Kirumi? Will you allow us to compare the black fabric we found in the pool with your gloves? Kirumi: U-Uhhh...!

‘will you allow us to damn you’. Keebo, you sound like you’re mocking her if you ask now. but he probably doesn’t quite realize that. comic, kirumi spite votes shuichi...

Tenko: Th-There’s nothing good about this at all...! *sob, sniffle...* Wh-why did it have to be Kirumi...? K1-B0: Truly, this result was unexpected. Tsumugi: How can you be so calm about it...?

This time, the culprit actively tried to get away with it. He might not really know how to feel about the whole thing. Kaede was apologizing, while Kirumi was fighting the whole way (and will keep doing so). He probably would have said this about anyone though...suspecting friends isn’t something he likes to do. and you made him this way moogie shush. 

Tsumugi: You mean like from the motive video? So Kirumi watched hers after all? K1-B0: Earlier, Kirumi mentioned that she had accepted a request...Perhaps that request came from a someone important in her motive video? Kirumi: ... Maki: ...Do you have nothing to say for yourself?

Going to ask more questions to try and understand, as per usual. Kirumi does use this as a chance to try and get away again mhm. Keebo isn’t using any of his distressed sprites here either. He might be coming off as a bit heartless at the moment, poking at ‘why did you kill’ and not even looking shaken. so guess who mentions that after Kirumi drops the ‘prime minister’ bit.

Kokichi:  I don't think it's odd that an Ultimate-level talent could be *that* powerful. I mean, Kee-boy’s talent lets him pretend to be human, even though he’s a heartless robot. K1-B0: How rude! I am not pretending! I am still learning! Tsumugi: U-Uh...I see. Well...good luck, I guess.

Yes, this gets the biggest reaction out of him. That’s normal and easy to understand over ‘how do we feel about this.’ While Tsumugi mocks his attempts to learn because she’s terrible :v and Kokichi is almost another backhanded complement? ‘Pretend to be human’, so you do buy his ‘pretending’ and how he seems very human? even though you keep calling him heartless and emotionless...and getting him thrown at things...

Monokuma: I am the ruler of this world. Nothing is beyond my power. Shuichi: Nothing is beyond your power? What kind of arrogant, ridiculous— K1-B0: That is 100% a lie! It is impossible that he could bring disaster to a country! Monokuma: Puhu... Puhuhuhu

Keebo feels the need to cut Shuichi off here! To back him up, but I wonder if his inner voice was telling him he had to deny that claim. He’s throwing out impossible and 100%, certainties...while Monokuma is mugging for the audience. as he basically is a god in their fake little world. It would explain how he’s changed his mind by the next line...

Tsumugi: Kirumi's got the lives of hundreds of millions of people on her shoulders, right? K1-B0: Logically, Kirumi’s survival would result in fewer casualties than our collective survival would. Himiko: Geez... Maybe it would've been better if we'd gotten the culprit wrong...

He seems to believe it now. Not enough to say anything definitive, but he will say it’s ‘logical’. even though you can’t really assume that. Who knows what the collective rest could do for people? No one :v

Kokichi: Do you really think someone as desperate to live as Kirumi would give up so easily? Of course not. In fact, she probably still hasn't given up, even now. She was hoping that learning the truth would make one of us volunteer to die in her place. K1-B0: ...What!? Kirumi: ... Kokichi: But Monokuma would never allow a blackened to escape punishment, so maybe......she wanted everyone to rebel, so she could use that as cover to escape on her own. ...How about it, Kirumi? Am I close?

This shakes him. Lying over something so important is almost unbelievable. After all, he couldn’t see why someone would lie on someone else’s behalf with their life on the line in trial one. Not really a shock he doesn't consider the opposite being possible too. Keebo doesn’t really...lie. Basically ever. The closest he ever gets is a flustered non answer that is technically a lie in a back route. He still cheers her on when she makes a break for it though.

K1-B0: Run! Please hurry!

He doesn’t really react to the death, he’s prompted to speak by Angie.

Angie: ...Oh? Isn't that what Atua said? All desire, even your desire to escape this place, can corrupt you beyond redemption. K1-B0: It's Monokuma who is corrupt. He is the one who distributed the motive videos. Korekiyo: Those videos were more dangerous than we thought. To have driven Kirumi that far...

He’d still rather blame the obvious antagonist over the people he calls friends. Clashing with Angie here doesn’t stop him from getting roped in later...hhm.

Shuichi: That must be why Kirumi did not want to show the videos. She thought that if everyone felt the same murderous rage that she did...this killing game would be pure chaos. She...wanted to stop it. Kokichi: If that's the case, then we really shouldn't show our videos to each other! K1-B0: That was our consensus from the beginning. Not including you, of course.

Shuichi gives a pretty kind interpretation of her actions, and Kokichi earns some robot sass for his actions. Kokichi likely had his own video and was not driven to any such murder...figured out his own plan might actually be bad too little too late.

K1-B0: For now...we should rest. To me, that seems the most rational course of action.

keebo wants to be morgana. GO TO BED. While you just...sit around awake all night long and think about what happened, I guess. Of course, we won’t do that because we have another reveal to do first.

Kokichi: Maki admitted it during the class trial, remember? Ryoma wanted her to show him his motive video cuz he was looking for a reason to live. But that wasn’t the whole story... Ryoma was blackmailing you, wasn’t he, Maki? K1-B0: B-Blackmail? Ryoma just so happened to discover Maki's true identity. So he used that to blackmail her. I bet he said something like... “If you don’t show me my motive video, I’ll tell everyone what you really are.”  That's why Maki didn't want us to know she met with Ryoma. She wanted to keep her true identity a secret! That’s why she kept quiet until the last minute!

That’s the last thing he does, enables Kokichi by asking for clarification :v Hope you liked to see Keebo do things, as the ‘trio’ forms up he has fewer chances to show up. He’s still got a few in 3, but in 4 and 5 he’s fairly sidelined. Well he TALKS a lot, but mostly just his normal questions :v

hahaha this took way to long why am i like this. when am i going to cover his gifting dialouge. who knows. aaaaaaaaaaa. feel free to yell at me about the robitt. or any of the characters :v Chapter 3 will come sooner than I expect I assume...

#danganronpa #drv3 #kiibo #keebo #K1-B0 #longlong post #i mean it #all of chapter two! #kaito and keebo are ideologically opposed #he's much friendlier than kokichi but they don't really get eachother #but that'll show more as we go #hopefully you enjoy rambling #tumblr plz put my stuff in the tag next time lol

[autisticforestgremlin]

Hii i just read all ur posts and I'm deciding to remain anonymous but i want to ask smth and i hope you don't mind. ASD is a disorder which cannot be cured, is it possible for it to resurface and hugely impact one's mental condition after being kept in control for a few years? Even if it wasn't that much of a serious case at first?

HI FRIEND *waves*

Heck no, I don’t mind. I love asks! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get to answering this. I’ve been crafting the answer in my head but haven’t had a good brainspace to answer. Apologies in advance if this is a little rough as far as sentence syntax goes. Twas a Big Day today and I’m caught somewhere between Too Much Stimulus and Too Little Stimulus.

Anyhow. I shall also preface this with the disclaimer that my answer is based totes on my own experience and my limited research + talking with other autistics.

There are two things that come to mind here:

1) Masking: Masking is when we basically pretend to be neurotypical. We suppress our stims and most of our autistic behavior in order to “fit in” and “get along”. Masking can be super exhausting when done long term, and this exhaustion can cause you to have what’s called an autistic burnout. This can look a lot like the autism “getting worse”. It’s kind of like a depression/shutdown/meltdown crash. All systems down, four alarm fire, autistic human in trouble.

2) Stress/trauma/illness: Stress or trauma or an illness can lower your ability to deal with sensory input. It can also compromise your ability to mask.

I have...many much experience with all of this. I’d say it also depends on when you were diagnosed. I’m about three weeks into my autistic discovery, and I never knew I was masking. If you wandered into my room right now, you would see someone who presents as very autistic. If you saw me at work, you would see someone who looks just a lil quirky. That’s masking for you.

My ability to mask is severely impacted if I’m stressed or sick. I used to say that “sometimes I felt autistic” and other times I didn’t. I realize now that what was really happening was that when I was sick/stressed/tired, I couldn’t mask effectively, so my stims and sensory issues “broke through”. Masking takes energy, and when my energy is redirected elsewhere, something’s gotta give. The “neurotypical” circuit breaker blew.

I’m risking a four page ramble here, so I’ll try to shorten this -- but pls pop back into my inbox if you wanna keep chatting. I have many more Thoughts.

My guess would be that with everything that’s going on in the world, the autism is “breaking through”. You (or whoever) probably have less overall energy to run your body systems, meaning that your sensory issues are affecting you more and your stims are closer to the surface. You could also be having a bit of an autistic breakdown. ORRRR you were masking a lot and the mask is crumbling (finger guns @ myself). Been there done that.

ANYHOW that was a chaotic mess of an answer but here we are. I hope that was somewhat coherent/helpful? Let me know if you wanna chat more. I am essentially a 27 y/o AFAB enby who like....thought for years I just had anxiety but now realize I have like. MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmm moderate???? autism? Yeah. Anyhow. Best of luck to you. Come and chat anytime, friend <3

#anon #💜💜 #autism #autistic experiences #gremlin answers #masking

[aka-willow]

Flight

gif

Words: 1817

Characters: Willow Wren, Peter Parker, Ned Leeds, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers

Prompt/Tag:

“call me now. it’s urgent.”

“What did I do wrong?”

Summary: Willow receives visitors at school

Timeline: February 2016

Song: Flight - Hans Zimmer

A/N: passed 300 views on Ao3! what?! like i know that’s not a lot but it’s a lot for me lol

—————————————————————————–

I wanted to skip school the next day—I hadn’t slept all night and I still had to get up early to shower in the locker room before school. I probably would have skipped if I didn’t have in-school suspension, which had to be the stupidest thing I’d ever heard of. Like… I’m already here, aren’t I? At that point, just let me go to class.

So, I dragged my ass to school, cleaned up in the locker room. I didn’t even bring a backpack to school that day, just my phone, and a charger. And a sharpie as a writing utensil. Off to a great start, per usual.

I ran into Peter and Ned in the hallway and they were surprised to see me there that early. “Hey, what’s up?” Peter asked. “Did you get number two on the algebra homework last night because Ned and I got two different answers. I texted you but…”

“Yeah… uh… no, sorry,” I said. “I forgot to text back.”

“Wanna go over it at lunch?” Ned asked.

I sighed. “Look, guys. Um… I got in-school suspension. Three days. I won’t be in class today.”

“What? What did you do?” Peter asked, his forehead crinkling with concern. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I got into a fight with Annabel,” I said. “After school.” I glanced down at my phone lockscreen. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Jeez, okay,” said Ned. “Wanna hang after school then?”

I can’t. I can’t do this anymore. “Sure,” I said. “Text me.”

We parted ways and I walked to the guidance office, where I’d be spending the rest of the day. It was a beautiful, sunny winter day, which made the whole thing seem even more depressing. I’m going to have so much work to make up. And we were doing review for the biology unit test in class today. Shit. I’ll have to get the notes from Ethan. In guidance, I was faced with another awesome Captain America VCR tape. “So, you got in-school suspension. You messed up…”

Jesus Christ.

“They’ll be sending your work down to you shortly,” said one of the guidance counselors.

“Great,” I said, completely deadpan. “Um… could I borrow a pencil?”

She frowned and handed me one from the colorful mug on her desk, a chipped D.A.R.E. to Resist Drugs and Violence pencil, and I took my time getting up and sharpening in the electric sharpener by the door. I can’t sit here all day. Physically. I’m gonna fall asleep, and then I’ll get another day tacked on.

I miss… I miss how things used to be.

Eventually, a manila folder of work was dropped off at the guidance office and I cracked it open, trying to decide if it was even worth doing any of it at this point. Even though my first term grades were good, I was barely scraping by now, and I didn’t have much hope for the third term, either.

Around nine, I had filled the margins of my Spanish homework with doodles and I was coloring in the spaces with a sharpie when the phone rang. I heard my name through the receiver. “Willow?” the guidance secretary asked. “They want you to report down to the main office.”

You’ve GOT to be kidding me. At least this is more interesting. “’kay,” I said, closing the folder, standing up quickly, almost excited for anything to break to monotony. But something felt wrong, and I couldn’t place what. As I walked down to the main office, my steps echoing in the empty hallway, my stomach began to clench. What is it now? How could things possibly get worse?

I became hyperaware of every noise, the sound of the heating escaping the vents, conversation in a nearby classroom, my own heartbeat. Calm down. You need to just calm down.

I paused outside the main office door and then opened it, as I forced the rest of my paranoia back. “Hi?” The office was silent except for the receptionist writing on a Post-It, and what looked like a dad in one of the waiting chairs, typing on his phone.

“Willow?” the receptionist asked, looking up.

“Yeah.”

She nodded her head down the hallway. “Conference room.”

“Do you know what this is about?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Why the hell would I know?”

Fair enough.

My feet heavy, I trudged down the carpeted hallway to the conference room, the same one I had met with Officer Dunphee in only a day ago. Is that what this is about? Does she have something to share with me? Or am I in more trouble?

I paused again in the hallway, trying to hear who was in the room, if anyone. Something is wrong. I know it.

“You saw it, too. We can’t risk it anymore.”

“I know. It’s just… is this the right way?”

I recognized the second voice, a male, and tried to run it through the catalog of all the other men I knew in my life. Marty’s dad? Principal Morita? The list was small. I opened the conference room door and decided to get the first word in. “What did I do wrong?”

Time seemed to grind to a complete halt. There were only two people in the conference room. A woman. Red hair. Wearing all black. And the man. It took me a few precious microseconds to deconstruct it, but I knew the face because I had stared at it so many times before.

Captain Fucking America.

“Willow?” the woman asked. “Do you want to sit?”

At that moment, I had a decision to make and as each fraction of second ticked by, as my heartbeat was reduced to a slow drone in my ear, I made it. Whatever this is, you need to run. It was a split-second reaction as I pivoted and sprinted back down the carpeted hallway, flying out of the main office as I heard the chairs scrape the conference room floor and the woman say something to the man. The “dad” sitting in the main office lunged for me as I ran for the door and I opened my palms and struggled to control my power, pushing him back just long enough for me to get out.

Comms chattered outside, I heard vehicles idling. The adrenaline seemed to dial my senses to a ten and I heard it all. It’s happening. They came for me.

I sprinted down the hallway, my mind racing, trying to get out of sight as footsteps pounded behind me. I can’t take them on. I need to get as far away as possible, right now. This is a fight I know I can’t win. “Hold on!” the woman yelled, but I heard heavy footsteps gaining on me and I turned, my hands pushing outward just as a projectile redirected from my chest and wind shot past it, back down the hall. They were going to shoot me.

With dawning horror, as a tide of wind pushed through the hallway, I ran for the auditorium, pushing open the stage doors and running for the camera perch, just somewhere to hide and regroup. I opened my wings, but I didn’t have enough room to gain momentum and get up there, and after a few failed hops, I was still on the ground and running out of time.

The ladder. I climbed the ladder up to the rafters just as the doors opened and a flashlight surveilled the space. I laid down as flat as I could against the rafters above the cameraman’s perch, praying I wouldn’t be seen, that they didn’t have heat goggles or something like that. I was still trying to process everything, what this meant, why?

You know why.

The flashlight clicked off and the door shut. I heard talk of calling in SHIELD to secure the room. Of course. That’s who’s outside.

With shaking hands, I pulled out my cellphone and pulled up Peter’s number. Pick up, please just pick up. It went to voicemail and I waited three agonizing seconds for the beep. “Peter. It’s me. Call me now. It’s urgent.” I then paused and reconsidered. “The really bad thing I said might happen has happened.” Is this really it? “Um… I have to go now, and I don’t think I’ll be able to be in touch for a while. Can you tell Ned? Please? Um… and Jessica Jones. Alias Investigations, her number is online. Bye. Thanks for being my friend.”

I hung up and powered my phone down, slipping it back into my pocket just as the auditorium doors opened again. SHIELD agents this time. Lots of them.

I still have a mission. I need to find Doctor Turner and get rid of that book. Dulce, New Mexico.

I can’t get caught now. Not yet.

I shimmied along the rafters, as quietly as possible, each creak and groan sounding like gunshots in my head. The comms chattering down below were beyond distracting as someone relayed instructions. I continued to move, an inch at a time until I reached the ladder to the roof access. Easy now.

I stood, praying I was out of sight and gave the trapdoor a push. It didn’t budge. I tried again. Nothing. Finally, I put all my weight into it and on the third try it screeched open and immediately the agents below went silent. Light filtered in and I was suddenly illuminated in the dark auditorium, cold air filling the rafters.

Before I could think of all the possible consequences, everything that would happen once I made this decision, as the chatter picked up and another projectile nearly struck me, I jumped up onto the roof and began running, as fast as I could, opening my wings, not caring who saw now. The edge of the roof approached fast and I jumped off, letting myself fall towards the ground until I angled myself and swooped upward, rapidly gaining altitude. I looked down and saw a plethora of black SUVs outside MSST, and the same people from the conference room standing outside, staring straight up. I was too high to be caught now.

Something was approaching from where the sun was—I heard it cutting through the sky and saw its shadow—and without a pause, I narrowed my span, shooting through the sky, as fast as possible, aiming for the clouds that I hoped to lose them in. If they have someone in the air, they know what I can do.

I breached the clouds and passed through the white vapor, ducking and weaving as fast as I could, knowing now that I could never go home. The wind bit at my skin as I charted a new course, my limbs numb with adrenaline, my vision blurred. Gooblin’s in upstate New York. The fire tower. I need to get there.

They found me. I can’t go home.

#ww writing #willow wren #ned leeds #peter parker #natasha romanoff #steve rogers

[squidcalamarium]

An open letter to three people

I would write this (and post it) on some other social media platform, or even write it out in a google doc, but that all feels either more vulnerable or impersonal than I want this to be. I understand that posting about my Feelings on tumblr isnt really all that private, but here all I am is what I say I am, and that matters more than anything really.

Anyway

This is going to be really long.

Five years ago, when I was 15, I identified as agender and pansexual. I was struggling a lot with feelings of "greyness" accompanied by intense bursts of anxiety, and both would make me cry. I cried a lot. I cried a lot for years. I still cry fairly easily but thats beside the point because I dont cry As Much, now. I dont cry as much as I used to, and it's not as painful as it used to be, because I have you three.

I was 14 and scared of myself when I met my first real best friend, at a mutual friends birthday party. I used to struggle with accepting a lot of things about myself, before I met her. Before I met you, I was disgusted by the way I looked. Not because I thought I was fat, though I struggled with that some, no, the main reason was my skin. I was raised believing the darkness in my skin was something to be ashamed of. Not ever directly, my grandmother would never ever tell me, her perfect granddaughter, that her skin tone was shameful. But it was in everything around me, from the age of 8 to 12, that taught me that being Half of something that's supposed to be Opposite of another, is wrong. The distinction between Right White and Black as Sin.

You helped me see past that. You helped me be able to look back at pictures of myself from when I was in elementary, middleschool, yesterday, and not have to look away. I was a really cute kid, looking back. I dont have to fight myself when my mom posts pictures of me from years ago on Facebook anymore. I know I'm not ugly. I know I never was. Now.

It struck me when I was 14, a year after getting to know you, that I didnt think my skin was ugly anymore. That I could like features about myself again. I cried when I realized that. I started to explore myself in other ways, after that, because I could finally look past how I Looked into what I Am.

I tried out genderfluid for a while, scared to admit I wasn't a Girl. At 15 I tried out agender, and like I said above, that was probably a product of my hormonally increased depression. It was also because I was scared to admit I Was A Boy. It's easier to say I'm nothing than it is to say I'm something.

It's hard, learning to accept one aspect of yourself only to struggle immediately after with another.

I dont remember much about this stretch of time in my life, and my timeline is incredibly blurry. I remember when I first met my two best friends, but I dont remember when I first met my girlfriend. Probably because we just weren't very close at the time. It was middleschool, after all. We met through a mutual friend and never really got to spend any time together until highschool. Anyway, back on topic. I think I was about to talk about how I learned to Love again.

For a Very long time, I was scared to even say the words "I love you" out loud and in a coherent manner to another human being. Saying "I love you" felt like a weakness, something vulnerable that once said, would be used against me. It had been, before, but not by you. Which you? All three of you.

Love, too me, used to be something sacred and delicate that could be ruined if I said it to freely. To say it would be to give someone the opportunity to hurt me, and no matter how many times someone said they loved me, I couldnt say it back. I was like this for so long, and it hurt so much.

Love, too me now, is still something incredibly special, but also something that should be said freely. Love is a feeling best felt shared. Love isnt just Romantic, and it never has been. I love flowers in fall, I love the feeling of summer rain, I love the color pink, I love the Concept of goblins, I love my hair, I love my girlfriend, I love my best friends. I love being able to say "I love you" without feeling like I'm pulling rocks out of my lungs. I love being able to say "I love you" without feeling the blood grow heavy in my skin and fear suplex my heart.

I love knowing I'm loved just as much as I love them.

I love knowing no one is going to fight over who I love more. Knowing I love you all differently and just as passionately. Knowing I dont have to be scared of being abandoned.

When I learned how to love without being scared, and how to trust in others, I was able to accept more about myself. I was around 17 when I accepted the fact that I'm a man. I'm not a girl, I'm not nothing, I am genuine to myself. I struggled a lot with accepting that. I was scared of myself.

Before I came to that conclusion, and went a little bit wild, I met my other best friend. He helped me find peace in myself.

I was not in the best place, when I was 16. I almost did a lot of things when I was 16. I dont think I tried to kill myself, but I also dont remember a lot of my teen years. He would know better, the kind of place I was in at the time. He helped me get through it.

Sometimes, when you catch yourself in a rut and cant seem to find a way out and just end up digging yourself down deeper, you need someone to call you an idiot. You need someone to go "maybe instead of resigning yourself to pacing back and forth forever, you could try and climb. You could try and dig into the walls and climb. Just stop trying to pretend it's okay, and ask for help."

I decided from then on out that I was going to treat myself better. That I wouldnt seek out self deprecation, and I wouldnt dwell on things that made me feel bad. It was hard, and it Still Is, but I'm better now. I'm better than I was. I still have the screenshots of the texts he sent me. They're on a blog I used to Write my Woes onto, but now its just an archive.

I am no longer my Own Worst Enemy.

When I first got with my girlfriend, I was kind of in the middle of losing my mind, and I ended up breaking up with her. Awful decision, really, but it needed to happen. I needed to grow as a person, into someone who deserved her even a Little Bit.

I still dont think I'm good enough for her, not by a long shot, shes a better person than I'll ever be. But she loves me anyway. Shes seen me when I looked my worst, when my brain was at its worst, and she still loves me. I dont think ill ever measure up to be what I think she deserves, but I try.

She motivates me, more than anything, to keep trying. To keep going. I almost didnt make it past 19, despite everything I still almost gave in, I almost gave up. I refuse to hurt her like that though. I can't hurt any of you like that.

I cant give up now, not when I have a future to look forward to, and that above all else is what she gives me. Its what you give me. A future to look forward too, to want to earn, to achieve.

I have never really had any solid idea of what I wanted out of life as I gotolder. Usually I'd go for more vague things, like "I want to be an artist and make money from my crafts" and "I want to be a therapist for tweens and young teens, to help them understand themselves." But besides that, I had nothing. What kind of life would I lead, outside of these Career Paths?

Now, I know I just want to be yours. For as long as you'll have me.

I'm 20 now. I am a man, and I don't really want to bother much with a label for my sexuality besides saying I'm queer. I have two best friends, one like a sister another like a muse, and my girlfriend. I have a cat named chelly and a dog named princess.

My life isnt where I want it to be, but I'm a better person now than I was before.

I'm better at Being a person than I ever have been.

Because everything I am now I had the potential to become, and everything I will be I have to potential to become.

There are a finite amount of resources in me, and the more I learn the better I am at using them.

I still get upset just as easily now as I did before, I can still spiral just as badly. I can still cry just as quickly. It's just that now, I know what to do to calm down a little quicker. Now, I'm nicer to myself. Now, I know how to redirect my emotions and my thoughts.

I'm still everything that I was before, just with more experience. The same parts, just rearranged more effectively than before. I'm as quick to comfort myself as I am to comfort others.

And it's all thanks to them. It's all thanks to you.

Thanks you.

I love you

#my insomnia is kicking my ass right now #i have a final tomorrow i have to be ready for #and am i ready?? no #am i concerned? kinda #should i be more worried ?? probably #either way my brain isnt shutting the fuck up so i guess ill just write it out #this isnt as good as the one that didnt post in the facebook group #but im kinda glad it didnt post in there bc facebook is weird and it might of posted to my actual main timeline #and that would of been bad #note how i avoided using names in this? #yeah thats why its not as good #op #long post #rlly rlly long post #its 3am

[lala-sara]

My blog was terminated yesterday. They restored it today with this: I've restored your account but it looks like you had reblogged at least a spam post with a deceptive redirection in the click-through link or a deceptive link in the caption. This post has been deleted but please be really careful when reblogging in the future. Deceptive links usually send you outside of Tumblr to adult paying sites or fake dating apps but they can take many forms so we can't give you a comprehensive list of them unfortunately. If they don't redirect you outside of Tumblr some of these links can also open ads or pop-up windows on your screen. As a general rule, be careful of any link inside a post caption, especially if it wasn't added by the original poster. And in case of doubt, err on the side of caution and don't reblog the post for the safety of your blog & your account.If you're using the Queue to publish on your blog, review the posts for this type of links & remove them from your Queue or your account might be automatically terminated when those posts are published. My answer: Do you understand that this is unacceptable treating? Noone can be so vigilant so ANYONE can be terminated any time for things they DID NOT DO bc "reblogged something that has a hidden link to adult blog that I didn't notice" is not a crime and you're treating it like it. Should I link to any link to check if it leads to adult blog? That's what adult bots want! And links are hidden, they are not in theme for the post so nobody can know what is going on. Stop terminating blogs for reblogs, start terminating original bots who do it. Also - no, banning people for adult content didn't help with that, did it? It's still happening. Because we were not the one who does it! Start doing your job and delete those bots and stop oppressing real people. It's not my job to watch for any bad link - it's yours to delete bots who does it. At least make an alarm system so people can be aware that they reblogged something bad instead of terminating blogs without warning which is very stressful!!!!!!!! It literally can lead to suicide.

I really was on the verge yesterday and I don’t speak lightly about it. I have depression with suicide ideation and always have the thought of ending in the back of my mind, I’m used to it, but there are times I have more that that, when I’m starting planning. It started before tumblr decided to end me but it made a big impact. I don’t care about this personal blog, but I have two art side blogs. Now I’m literally ‘doing it for them’. So beware people - ANYONE can be terminated ANY time. So for the sake of your mental health know this and know that this can be something you are not aware of as I wasn’t and they (maybe) will bring it back. If your blog will be terminated remember: you are not bad, you did nothing wrong, you were not hunted (for those of you who has paranoia), it’s just the staff is so LAZY they better do this to an innocent people than hunt actual perpetrators. I was so right to equate them with Russian government - they have the same tactics. I already live in fear in Russia, I don’t need this shit from fucking tumblr. I thought it’s the safe space, guess I was wrong, there is no safe space anywhere, we’re all fucked.

[onlinetherapyandcounsellingcom]

Coping With Stress By Thriving On Good Changes

New Post has been published on https://onlinetherapyandcounselling.com/coping-with-stress-by-thriving-on-good-changes/

Coping With Stress By Thriving On Good Changes

Have you ever noticed your self-going to the fridge to get something to eat when you are all upset?

You’re not alone there are many people just like you in this world. They are like you wishing they could do something to change that from happing to them but it isn’t going away what you can do to help you to change all of this form happing to you.

You have to train yourself to do something different only you can do this. What causes this to happen to people?

Most of the time this happens when people are stressed out or being upset. The first thing they want to do too ran to the icebox and eat ever thing they see in it.

Which isn’t health for you in the first place? You need to think way down inside your body and figure out what can be done about this habit. There are other ways to go, you just have to figure out what to do about it and do it.

What can one do to learn to redirect myself? Redirecting is hard for most of us to do but it can be done in time. You have to do it over and over again until your brain knows that is what you want it to do instead of going and binging on food.

So when you feel you have to eat why not go and pick up a good book and read it. You’re going to have to make your self-do this but you can do this if you want it bad enough. If you find that reading isn’t what is good for you at a time like this then you will have to find something that will work for you.

What are some things I can do to find what is good for me? There really isn’t anything good to say about this other then you have to do some things on your own to find out what would be best for you what might be good for you may not be good for someone else.

You might want to ask your friends what they do to give you some ideas. They may suggest something like taking a real hot bath, or reading a good book. Some of them may find that exercising is a good way to relive some of their stress.

There are many things that you may find works for you that don’t work for your friends. You might think that cleaning house is a good way to get rid of stress that is okay to.

Why is stress so bad for me and why do, I need to get rid of it?

Stress is something that you might want to get rid of as soon as it hit you. Why is this?

This is because stress isn’t good for you or your health. It will cause you many problems if you don’t get rid of it as soon as you are able to.

Some of the things it can cause is heart troubles, high blood pressure, out of control cholesterol, and can cause you to have some depression. If this happens then you will have to go to your family doctor and may have to take some kind of medication for it.

Therefore, you are better if you can learn to control it before this happens. There is way to do it you just have to have some will power and set your mind to it and do it. Thrive to make satisfying changes.

Conquering your Problems

Have you ever had one of those days that you wish it would hurry up and end? It seems like nothing is going right for you. Think positive, there is hope for you.

There are some things that you can do to help you relax so that you are able to clear your head and think straight. You thinking; huh, ok how is that going to be possible to do? Here is what you might want to try, this may help you to relax some and be able to think right.

What can I do to help me out on a day like this? On one of these days, there is something that you can do to help yourself out. Although you don’t think that, there is any answer there is an answer.

For one thing you might want to try some deep breathing techniques this could be something in the form of mediation. If you want to get deep into mediation, you can always take a Yoga class. You could even go to the library and get books on how to learn to teach yourself this technique. This is really a self-teaching course for self-healing.

If you find meditation, doesn’t work why not try something like aromatherapy? Aromatherapy is always good to help clear a cloudy head with a ton of stress on your back. Try aromatherapy in a quiet room yourself, with some candles.

Quite time is always good to clear up the head and relax. You might want to try taking a hot bath with some candles sitting around. Turn down the lights and put on some soft music, and just relax until you feel like you are going to turn to a prune.

There are so many things that you can do to relax so that you are able to have a clear mind to make the right choices in the world today.

How will I know when I need to do something to help to clear my head?

Well this is totally up to you to decide, but most people know when they are getting all stress out and cannot think straight. Stress will make you feel like your mind is so cloudy making you feel like nothing. Therefore, when this happens you need to just relax and do some techniques to help you to be able to think straight.

What else can stress do to you and your health? Stress is not a good thing by any means; it can make you feel like you’re dying inside. It can also make you have heart trouble, cause you to have strokes, and maybe go into a depression as well.

No one wants this to happen to him or her so you need to take a hold of things and find a way to get rid of this unwanted stress in your life.

How can I stop stress from hitting me? There is nothing you can do to keep stress from your life; you have to find your inner feelings and how to control them.

Stress will take you as far as you will let it go and then it is almost too late to do something about it. Therefore, you really need to find some way to control it now before it controls you.

The things I have said may work for one and not for another so you need to decide what will work for you and go with it. If it does not work then try something until it does work. There are many ways that you can do to improve yourself for thriving in stress.

We can help! Please check out our extensive self-help library in the member's area. We'd also like to recommend our range of stress-busting products.

Jill is also available for 1-to-1 online therapy if you'd prefer to speak to a very experienced therapist face to face.