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blackvelvetallure · 4 years

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MARS THE TWELVE SIGNS

The sign in which Mars resides in the birth chart shows the expression of energies. Mars suggests the projection of self. Your energies must be evaluated in four different ways, and the sign that Mars occupies at birth largely signifies the type and degree of energy in all four. These four are first, Physical energies, which might show how hard or diligently you work, aptitude for sports, and just generally having the go power to get what you want in life. Next is mental energy; the energy spent thinking, communicating, and pursuing intellectual goal and ambitions. Then, comes the practical energy that is necessary to make your way in life; planning and organizing, holding down a job and padding the old nest egg, being responsible and dependable. Finally, Mars defines emotional energies which usually show up first as sex drive, but may include other aspects of emotions such as feelings, and setting emotional boundaries, and drive toward artistic endeavors. The Mars position suggests whether your energies are going to be largely physical (fire signs Aries, Leo, Sagittarius), material (earth signs Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn), mental (air signs Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), or emotional (water signs Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). Here then is Mars in the twelve signs:

🐏 ARIES MARS

Mars is at its strongest in Aries, its natural sign. This placement represents high energy, initiative, courage and impulsiveness. Most of the energies seem to come out as the physical and emotional type, but in Aries, Mars is very active and assertive in demonstrating enthusiasm for all four types of energy. This is a very powerful position for Mars.

You have an unrestricted drive to get projects done, to start new projects, and to act decisively. Your enthusiasm is contagious. An individualist with quite an ego, you always want to do things your way. Based on the influence of this planet taken by itself, you are not good at compromise or teamwork. There is a major part of you that always wants to charge out ahead of the pack and be the leader. Despite your apparent leadership abilities, you may function best when you are working alone and independently because of your demand to have your own way. If you are in a group, you will aspire to be the leader. Headstrong and independent, you won't tolerate opposition or interference and your temper can get you into trouble at times. Mars in Aries makes you very competitive in a variety of ways. This is perhaps the most courageous and enterprising Mars position.

You have a very strong sex drive which is spontaneous and easily aroused. Self-control can be a problems in this regard. As on the physical side, you are often unrestrained and very demanding emotionally.

The negative side of Mars in Aries is a lack of patience and discipline. Self-control and humility can be hard lessons, and often they are never mastered.

🐂 TAURUS MARS

Mars in Taurus denotes plenty of practical and emotional energy, while the physical side is often rather flat, and the interest in the intellectual is also a strain.

The planet of energy is not very active in Taurus, as the physical drive is reduced to a low gear. You may lack thrust and mobility, but make up for this deficiency with outstanding endurance. You are obstinate in many ways, yet practical, determined and very stable. You pursue your material goals with intent determination. Results are based on dogged persevering after a course of action is determined. Once you finally get rolling in one direction, it is nearly impossible to change your course. In Taurus, the energies of Mars are indeed channeled into a practical mode that may center on acquiring money, creature comforts and material possessions. Much your energy is apt to be aimed at securing wealth and a very comfortable lifestyle. Patient and precise in all that you do, you are a natural crafts person and the fruit of your efforts is likely to produce a quality product.

Also high on your list of priorities is the satisfying of physical desires. You are very sensual and sexual partner. Your approach to sex is straightforward and uncomplicated, without fantasies or fetishes; never rushed or over-anxious. Emotionally stable, you are apt to be a devoted and loyal partner.

The negative side of Mars in Taurus is often the lack of flexibility. Taurus is a fixed sign and energies expressed here sometimes come out looking like stubbornness. Even emotions can be held on to too tightly and then released with a major blow up.

👭 GEMINI MARS

In Gemini, Mars produces mental assertiveness and mental energies are highest here. As wonderful as this seems, on the practical side, you may be somewhat lacking, and emotionally, this placement is prone to big swings and is best defined as erratic.

You have an active and critical mind that may be inclined toward going off in many directions at once. You love to debate and engage in all types of intellectual contests. A satirical wit is often a hallmark of this Mars in Gemini. Frequently, this placement attracts persons to careers as reporters, journalists and critics. Periodic job changes or handling a variety of jobs simultaneously, are not uncommon with this placement since there is much restlessness in your nature. Since so much energy is channeled into mental and verbal activity, you are apt to be quite a talker. You may make use of this strength by becoming a teacher, a lecturer, or a related field that takes advantage of your ability to express yourself. You pride yourself on your intelligence and verbal dexterity. To you, a person's worth is based on their intelligence, and you want to be respected as a formidable thinker.

Several of your romantic relationships may be superficial. You eagerly pursue new experiences in romance, but it may be difficult for you to remain constant to any one special partner. You're apt to be an incurable flirt. Your mind, however, is your most active erogenous zone.

Mars in Gemini is high-strung and produces much nervous energy, but it is lacking in physical vitality or endurance. There is a tendency for you to burn yourself out through stress and mental strain. You may need to force yourself to get more exercise as a way of balancing the physical with the mental.

🦀 CANCER MARS

In Cancer, the Mars energies are largely of the emotional sort. While physical endeavors and practical affairs may find the energy to function satisfactorily, mental energies are apt to struggle.

This placement often causes actions to be tinged with a very sensitive flavor. You express your energies in a very emotional fashion. Much of the assertiveness of Mars is turned toward the domestic scene. There is a cautious side and much defensiveness in your nature. This placement of Mars is not very physical or competitive, and not inclined to any sort of combat, physical or mental. Mars in Cancer has a very positive side, as it often shows a quiet, peaceful nature. While being very protective of your "turf," you are never too assertive or demanding. In your work, you rarely compromise your views, and prefer working independently and in control of affairs. You are ambitious, and a hard worker. Since you are not, by nature, an aggressive person, you pursue your desires in a round-about or start-stop manner. You frequently change your direction and your goals. You strive for security, and a good deal of your energy goes into this effort. In this regard, you are fiercely protective of family, co-workers, organization, or to whatever you devote yourself. You may be known for the strength of your patriotism and loyalty.

Because of these strong moods and feelings, you are a very sexual and sensual person. You are also very loyal in relationships, and certainly demanding of the same from your partner. Infidelity threatens your sense of security and is therefore unacceptable.

There is an intensity of these emotions that often results in moodiness and discord in your domestic relations. Your digestion is strongly affected by your moods and feelings. With energies tied to feelings, you are prone to become very angry inside. If this anger is suppressed it can result in ulcers and stomach upset.

🦁 LEO MARS

Mars in Leo is noted for its physical energy, and it manages reasonably well in the mental and practical departments, as well. The ego and need for recognition make the emotional energy somewhat restrained.

In Leo, Mars displays exceptional will-power and creativity. With this placement, you project an air of confidence, self-sufficiency, and vitality that cause people to sit up and take notice. Activity is expressed in a dramatic fashion, suggesting that you may be well suited for the stage. You love being on "center stage." You are confident in most roles before an audience. This position couples positive initiative, with stability and determination, producing excellent leadership qualities. You have a definite charismatic and gregarious flair. This also makes you a natural leader. Ambitious and maybe a little egotistic, you want to lead. You'll do whatever you need to do to be recognized and appreciated.

You take pride in your sexual prowess. Affectionate and physically demonstrative, you enjoy the drama and excitement of a passionate affair. As much as it bolsters your ego to have several sexual partners, you're constant in love while your partner pays plenty of attention to you and is devoted. In romance, jealousy and possessiveness are often by-products of this placement.

The strong, fixed opinions and the overbearing manner of this placement may often stir opposition. The pride and need to dominate others, often sets up a degree of stubborn egotism. Excessive pride can be your pitfall, if you haven't learned to control it. The emotional side of Mars in Leo can cause to you to periodically over-react with anger when affairs don't go your way.

♍ VIRGO MARS

In Virgo, Mars focuses its energy into the job, and thus, the energies are primarily practical and useful. This placement will also produce high or at least adequate mental energies, reasonable physical energies, but on the emotional side, there is a severe limit to the energy and the interest.

As one possessing this placement, you are usually considered a very conscientious worker. Much of your energy go into careful planning before you charge ahead on any project. When you do act, it's usually based on practical reasons, with every detail carefully thought out. You are highly critical, and very exacting in all that you do; in many respects, the perfectionist and the organizer. Painstaking and dedicated in your work, you may lack imagination and innovation, but never attention to detail. In the work place, you can be a difficult person because you are so particular about everything being done correctly. But indeed, you are the one that can be depended on to get the job done right.

Virgo is associated with the health fields. Doctors, surgeons, nurses and social workers often have Mars placed here. There is much associated with this placement that involves helping people. You may be especially concerned with helping the sick and handicapped. You need to feel needed, and you can be very tireless in such a role.

Mars, the indicator of passions, is not very passionate in Virgo. Your sex drive may be strong, but your willingness to express it can be somewhat weak. Sometimes Mars in Virgo can even be a bit puritanical. You also may be a little bit afraid of letting your passions loose, and even be critical of those that do.

The negative side of Mars in Virgo may be the sometimes lack of tolerance. It's hard for you to get emotionally worked up over anything, but you can be very demanding of yourself and others. This placement often holds force and aggressiveness in check, releasing it as irritability and nervous habits. And finally, you have to be careful not to become the classic workaholic for this is a real possibility with Mars in Virgo.

⚖ LIBRA MARS

In Libra, Mars is curtailed by the rules of social behavior and the need for the cooperation and approval. Energies are very controlled and overwhelmingly favor the mental. A reasonable degree of physical energies may also be present, but this is not what this placement is noted for. Emotional and practical energies are usually rather low, if noticeable at all.

You are charming, generous, amiable, and cooperative owing to the persuasiveness of Mars in Libra. The normal assertive behavior of Mars is tamed down in Libra, and passions are never allowed to rule thinking. Yet you can become upset when your perception of justice is not served. You aren't one to push matters to extremes, but you do become very assertive when you experience injustice. You are ready to take up arms against anything that would destroy harmony, or that appears wrong or unfair. Your objective, unemotional approach could enable you to be a good judge, manager, or diplomat.

You are likely and wise to select a very assertive and energetic partner. You may need someone to push you along, as Mars can be somewhat lazy in Libra. You often need motivation. Though you are never pushy or very forceful, you do exert gentle and continuous efforts toward a solid relationship. Although you are very affectionate and romantic, your sex drive is somewhat low, and you expect more emotional satisfaction than physical passion.

You are not the type of person who goes after what you want with much conviction. You have difficulty asserting yourself at times, and it can be hard for you to be decisive. Aggression in any form threatens you, and you don't deal well with confrontations, arguments, or physical combativeness. You want to make friends, not adversaries.

🦂 SCORPIO MARS

In Scorpio, Mars displays powerful emotions and desires. Mental, physical, and practical energies are are, likewise, also very high. Indeed, the level of energy with this placement is high in all respects.

You are strong, self-reliant, extremely efficient, and highly self-disciplined. An intensity of purpose surrounds all that you undertake. This position illustrates the "do or die" principle very well. You may have an innate ability to transform other people in some significant way. You think of yourself as a "take control" person and a force to be reckoned with. You probably are.

Intensely passionate and sensual, you put much of your energy into sex. You are apt to be especially attractive to the opposite sex, whether or not you physically attractive. You may be fascinated with sexuality in all its expressions, certainly your interest is always keen. You're jealous and possessive of your sexual partners. Being trustworthy yourself, you expect the same from others. You're a loyal friend, or a bitter enemy, you never forget a betrayal.

Slow to anger, you rarely loose control, but when your ire is raised, you get even, and you can do so with frightening detachment. Proud, dignified, strong-willed, and stubborn, you have the sort of presence that is always felt by others even when you say nothing.

🏹 SAGITTARIUS MARS

Mars in Sagittarius produces some of the highest levels of physical energy and enthusiasm. The mental and emotional side seems to function fine as well, but unfortunately, this is not the most practical of Mars positions.

In Sagittarius, Mars often produces strong philosophic convictions. You are one to stand up and fight for any cause you believe in. The sense of justice is very strong. Your idealistic motives always seek to be improving society and those individuals in your immediate environment.

You are an outspoken debater, often lacking diplomacy or appreciation of the opinions of opponents. Nonetheless, your ever-cheerful presence makes you welcome in any social gathering. For you it is unrestricted freedom at all cost, with rhythm and tempo that comes naturally to you. You are a person with a zest for adventure and having a good time. You have trouble sitting still for very long, and you want to be on the move physically.

The hallmark of this position is the feeling that you are invincible. Your irrepressible confidence and optimism usually gets you through tough times. You may have been born under a lucky star. You often succeed because you don't think much about failing. In many respects you are a born gambler.

Mars in Sagittarius is not known for being particularly constant in love relationships. You approach sex as though it was a sport, and it's hard to tie you down to one person. You may be afraid of serious love affairs and being "trapped" in a relationship. This is a position that really likes sex, but at times can be too bold or crude in asking for it.

The negative of this position is a lack of endurance and consistency. Because your attention span is so short, and your interests are so many, you start many projects, but often fail to finish them. And even when you do get finished, the work can be a little sloppy. You have a tendency to scatter your energies and try to take on too much at one time.

🐐 CAPRICORN MARS

In Capricorn, the energies of Mars are channeled into the arena of personal attainment, and thus, the practical energy is highest here. Physical and Mental energies are sufficient, too, but emotionally, this placement may lack spark.

You are hard-working, very determined. Since much of your energy is focused on your career, you have a tendency to become something of a workaholic. There is a drive to satisfy professional ambitions. This is likely to manifest with innate managerial skills and good old-fashioned common sense. You have strong material urges, but even stronger is the need to get status and recognition. To attain these ends, you use your energy in very practical and profitable ways. You have little use for laziness or a lack of ambition.

Your sex drive is strong and you have a full appreciation of sensual pleasures. It's likely you conceal most of these feelings behind a stiff and conservative demeanor. Your public image is very dignified and reserved. It is as though you feel you must always be in control of yourself and your emotions. Mars in Capricorn is known for the ability to retain sexual vitality until very late in life. In these later years, you are apt to be less restrained than in your youth.

Your weakness in the action department is the tendency to be too cautious and skeptical. You are apt to miss some real opportunities on this account. You have difficulty breaking out of old habit patterns and you are slow to pick up on new ideas. Somewhat pessimistic, you go looking for problems and expecting the worst. You take responsibility seriously, often too seriously.

🌊 AQUARIUS MARS

In Aquarius, the energies of Mars are focused on intellectual pursuits, and therefore, mental energies are highest here. While Mars is focused on theory here, practical energies are usually found in adequate levels. The physical and emotional sides may struggle a little when Mars is in Aquarius.

The placement suggests the presence of very high principles and a modern outlook. You are concerned with the world of ideas, particularly those of an unconventional or progressive nature. Here the powers are independent, aggressive and enterprising.

You have good organizing abilities and calculated direction. You are a very good leader who can meet challenges with serenity and poise. Aquarius is a fixed sign and you are stubborn most of the time. If you believe in something, you put the idea forward with the zeal of an evangelist. You think of yourself as open-minded; willing to discuss the issues. Yet your discussions often get to be heated arguments, and you rarely give in to an opposing view. You can never work well under authoritarian direction, being one who is always out to upset the establishment. You are an active reformer with little respect for traditional ways. You can even be contemptuous of tradition unless it is substantiated with logic. You demand the freedom to speak frankly, and operate in your way.

Like the many other aspects of your life, sexually you are intrigued by anything new or unconventional. For you, variety is the spice of life. Yet somehow you are usually stable and dependable once you have found a mate.

The negative side of Mars in Aquarius resides in nonconformity. Indeed, you tend to lecture more than discuss, and you tend to demand compliance with your agenda. Your way is sometimes way out of the ordinary. At the same time, your energies are apt to produce more thought than action. You are the rebellious type, and you can become very impatient.

🐟 PISCES MARS

In Pisces, Mars produces emotions that are unpredictable and often intense. Emotional energy is high, sometimes too high. Mentally, Mars in Pisces does well, but on the physical and practical side, this placement often comes up short.

The strength of Mars in Pisces is found in the arts. You may find yourself very much attracted to music and the arts. You may relate to many of the world's fine artists who need the isolation and introspection so much a part of this placement. You have a natural sensitivity to color, tone and rhythm that may be of benefit to you in artistic endeavors.

In this sign, Mars responds in a confused manner. Assertive action is drowned in this sign that is so receptive, emotional, sensitive, and even psychic. The result of the placement is often a quiet exterior, but with much restlessness inside. Physical strength is rare with this position. Resentment runs high. Excessive emotions are a constant problem and a good deal of solitude is frequently necessary to sort matters out. Mars in Pisces has trouble asserting itself, and it is likely that you are somewhat shy and withdrawn.

Action is expressed in "behind the scenes" roles where you can work with subtlety, and your naturally intuitive sensitivity. Much of your attitude stems from your keen sensitivity to the feelings of others. You clearly know what the other person is feeling, and therefore you are always ready to render assistance to those who are most in need. You are apt to express the energies of Mars most actively in support of the defenseless or the underprivileged. In this regard, Mars in Pisces is often found in fields such as psychology and medicine.

Mars in Pisces is not a highly sexed sign. Certainly, you are romantic, but in order for you to be satisfied, the greater need is emotional rather than physical. You're very idealistic about love and relationships. In many ways, you view of sexual matters is more like a fantasy with such high expectations that it is rarely achieved in real life.

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happyandticklish · 3 years

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Sensitive Connections - Part One

Notes: Based off a conversation I had with @tickles-tea and some others about the intermingling of voodoo magic into the drrr universe, and thus this was born. It ended up a tad longer than I expected, as I got vaguely carried away with exposition.

Summary: Shinra comes into possession of an exciting new artifact that he’s eager to show his friend.

Shinra was practically vibrating with excitement when he met Izaya at the door, quickly flinging it open before sprinting back to the earlier room without so much as a word of greeting to the other. Izaya blinked, hand still raised where it had previously rested against the door in the imitation of a knock.

“Hello to you too,” he said, narrowing his eyes with vague irritation. “And such a warm welcome…”

Shinra popped his head back into the hall, seeming surprised that Izaya had not already followed him. “You got my call, then?”

“If by call, you mean the voicemail I received in the middle of the night calling me over here for some ‘strange new phenomenon you discovered, urgent’, then yes, I received it,” Izaya said, hanging his coat by the door and kicking off his shoes. “This couldn’t have waited till morning?”

Shinra wrinkled his eyebrows, giving his friend a strange look. “Well, I mean, it could have. I honestly didn’t think you would come right away. I didn’t imagine you would be this invested.”

Izaya bristled at the implication, but before he could say anything in argument, Shinra had moved back to the living room. Izaya sighed, following after him reluctantly.

Shinra stood triumphantly before the table in the center of the room, whereupon lied a simple doll. It appeared to be made of felt, almost like that of a stuffed animal, and was entirely featureless save two black buttons sowed where its eyes would be. Stitches crisscrossed its body, giving it a disjointed looking appearance. It sat utterly splayed out on the center of the table, its single occupant.

Izaya glanced between Shinra and the doll a couple times, attempting to decipher what he was looking at. “You called me here, in the middle of the night, for a… doll? A toy?”

“It’s not a toy,” Shinra countered, waving one hand at the notion. “This doll is actually one of the most powerful artifacts in this entire household.”

Izaya raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh.”

Shinra sighed, rolling his head back as he searched for a way to explain it. “How much do you know about the ancient art of witchcraft and the occult?”

Izaya had come across the concepts many times over the years, though he’d never devoted that much interest to them as he considered them the wild fantasies of fools. Admittedly, meeting Celty had certainly bought the ideas more validity, but each and every time he tried to look into it, he found himself unable to take the ideas seriously.

“Not much,” he admitted honestly, picking up the doll and examining it. It had a deceptively innocent appearance, that, knowing Shinra, was sure to be disproven soon. “Is this a talisman of some sort?”

“How do you know what a talisman is but not a voodoo doll?”

“Is that what this is?”

“Yep.” Shinra peered over Izaya’s shoulder, smiling affectionately down at the doll like a proud parent would. “Pretty cool, huh?”

Voodoo. That made sense. Izaya was vaguely familiar with the concept, mostly from pop culture and casual references of it over the years. Now that he was looking closer at the doll, he wasn’t sure how he had failed to pick up on it earlier. Leave it to Shinra to find something like this.

“And how exactly did you come into possession of it?” Izaya asked, glancing back at the other.

“Well, I’m not sure how much of that I could safely confess, but I can tell you that I received it from a good friend.”

“A good friend?” Izaya racked his brain, trying to think of the people Shinra was in association with. Celty, of course, and Shizuo, but he doubted the brute would have managed to acquire something like that. Celty maybe, but it was unlikely that she would care for such things. For some reason it irked him that there might be someone else Shinra was close friends with, close enough for a favor of this size.

“Of sorts,” Shinra agreed. He noticed the look in Izaya’s eyes, smirking suddenly. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Of course not,” Izaya sniffed, tossing the doll back on the table. He whirled around, falling into onto the couch absently. “So how does this thing work exactly?”

An excited glimmer entered Shinra’s eyes, the likes of which Izaya had encountered many times over the years. It meant that the info broker would not be leaving the flat for quite some time. “I’m glad you asked. We’re still trying to work out the theory of it. Based off the myth, sensations placed upon the doll will be reciprocated on the owner, without any physical marks. For instance, if you pricked it with a pin, there would be no evidence on the owner of any kind of damage, but they would feel it as if it had poked them all the same.”

“The owner,” Izaya mused, leaning his head back. A vague hint of devilish interest entered his tone. “So are you the owner then? I think I would quite enjoy stabbing needles into you after all you’ve done to me.”

“Done to you?” Shinra scoffed incredulously, rolling his eyes at the other. “What have I ever done to you?”

“The time I was stabbed and you just—” Izaya started, but Shinra quickly cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“Okay, okay, point taken! I guess you could say we’ve both done some pretty horrendous things to one another.” Shinra sighed, taking a seat besides him. “The answer is no, by the way, to your question. I considered it, in the beginning, but Celty quickly vetoed it. She insisted it would be too dangerous, especially considering we don’t know if there are any harmful effects of it yet.”

“So it’s blank right now?” Izaya confirmed, throwing a suspicious glance back over at the doll. Its empty face gazed back at him, devoid of sympathy. He felt an unmistakable shudder make its way down his spine.

Shinra nodded, oblivious to Izaya’s inner conflict. “It could just be considered a normal doll in its current state. You’d have to actually connect it to a person for it to activate into anything.”

Izaya couldn’t tear his gaze away from the doll. There was something captivating about the concept that held his curiosity like a moth to a flame. He wanted—no, needed—to know more about it. Even as he grew more invested in the subject, however, he felt strangely reluctant to let the other in on his interest.

“Say you were to attach it to a person,” Izaya said slowly, trying to force as much nonchalance into his tone as possible as he spoke. “How would one go about that process?”

For the next half hour Shinra spoke excitedly, laying out details and charts and theorems before the other, entirely unaware of how closely Izaya was listening. Eventually, Shinra had to excuse himself to go grab something from his lab for demonstration. He bounded down the stairs, leaving Izaya utterly alone in the apartment.

He couldn’t explain what called him to do it. Only that before he knew what was happening, Izaya had snatched the doll from the table, racing over to the door where his coat remained hanging. He quickly pulled it on, shoving the doll inside its folds and out of eyesight. He was just shoving on his shoes when Shinra returned, holding a small object in his hands with wires sticking out of. Heaven only knew what it was meant to be, and Izaya certainly didn’t have time to find out.

Shinra tilted his head in confusion when he saw him, frowning. “Izaya? Where are you going?”

“I just figured it was getting late, you know,” Izaya explained breezily, quickly brushing the issue aside as he tugged on his final shoe. “I have quite the busy life, you know; wouldn’t want to disappoint any of the many people waiting for me.”

“You mean your online friends?” Shinra asked wryly as Izaya opened the door, waltzing merrily out of it.

“Try not to be jealous, my dear Shinra—it doesn’t look good on you.”

Shinra shook his head as the door closed on him, smiling indulgently.

The clock ticked slowly on the wall. Three in the morning. Izaya spun slowly around in his desk chair, hands steepled under his chin. He glanced back at the doll. Two emotionless buttons stared back at him. He spun himself around once more, kicking off on his desk. The room whirled around as his thoughts did the same.

The drive home had held a strange energy to it, a mixture of excitement, nerves, and growing interest in the doll shoved inside his jacket. For once he was silenced, a blessing that the taxi driver escorting him was highly grateful for.

The walk to the door had been silent as well, a calm, practiced walk that spoke nothing of the ancient mythos hidden on his person. With every step up the stairs of his apartment, he could feel its weight. It was only once he finally set it upon his desk and was faced with the blank doll once more, a harmless toy, nothing more, that he began to feel maybe he was overreacting over the whole situation.

He pressed his foot to his desk, catching himself on his final spin. “I suppose there would be no harm in trying,” he mused at last to the empty room; Namie had taken the evening off for some unnamed activity she refused to reveal, so he had the place to himself for the night. “After all, the worst that can happen is I discover it truly is a simple doll after all and this whole evening has been a waste of my time.”

Reaching up, he pinched a stand of hair between his fingers, tugging firmly. He winced at the momentary pain, rubbing his scalp.

Shinra had explained the process of connecting the doll to an owner thoroughly, at Izaya’s bored request. There were a couple different methods one could try, but the simplest one would be to connect a piece of the chosen owner to the doll in one fashion or another. Izaya wrapped the hair carefully about the doll’s arm so as not to break it, tying it into a gentle but resolute knot.

Feeling a tad silly about the whole situation, he pressed his thumb to the doll’s forehead, tracing down to its chest and finally stomach, reciting as he did so, “I name you—Izaya Orihara.”

Afterwards, he removed his thumb, placing the doll once more on the table, and waited. For a while, nothing happened. No strike of lightning or crash of thunder, no cupboards rattling with sinister intent. Outside he could hear cars honking and racing past each other as people shrieked in joyous conversation. Nothing out of the ordinary for the bustling city. His body felt entirely his own, the only things he could feel being the leather of his chair and the slight stinging of his head from earlier.

Izaya sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised,” he said wryly, reaching out for the doll. “After all, what did I expect coming to Shinra for—”

He sentence broke off halfway in shock. Where his fingers had brushed against the doll, Izaya had felt a bolt of mirrored sensation run up his arm, sending pleasant shudders down his back. He jerked back with a start, narrowing his eyes. His fingers were curled hesitantly in midair from where they had retreated. After a moment, he reached out once more, stroking a finger down its arm. Again, sensation crawled unbidden up his skin and he instinctively shook his arm to rid himself of it, though the action did nothing to alleviate the feeling.

Izaya’s eyes widened. “Incredible,” he murmured softly, fascination lighting up his features. Quickly, he opened one of the many drawers in his desk, retrieving a pen. He held it up, carefully poking the doll up its leg. He winced as he felt the minor pain reflected in his own body, his leg tensing up with each stab.

A sudden shriek of a whistle interrupted his thoughts and he nearly fell out of his chair, his heart slamming about a mile a minute in his chest. The kettle. Of course. He had completely forgotten he had set it on. He quickly stood up, leaving the doll and the pen discarded upon the table as he sprinted to retrieve the screaming pot.

Removed to the kitchen now, he entirely missed the sound of the door opening and the disgruntled voice of Shizuo calling out, “Hello?”

Upon receiving no answer, Shizuo sighed, slowly clicking the door shut behing him and collapsing against it in exhaustion. The rounds that night had seemed to go on forever, and almost every client had decided that day of all days to pick a fight for reasons entirely unknown to the tired man. Tom had offered to let him go early, but Shizuo hadn’t wanted to leave the other alone. So he had stayed. And now it was three in the morning and all he wanted to do was sleep.

He dropped his stuff by the door, wearily making his way over to the living area where Izaya usually spent most of his time. He glanced around, but the info broker was nowhere to be seen. Instead, he found a bland doll thrown haphazardly on his desk in his place.

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. Knowing Izaya, it almost definitely wasn’t as harmless as it seemed. “Izaya? You there?”

Izaya paused midway through the process of pouring the kettle, his heart stuttering a little in his chest at the sound of the voice. He had almost forgotten Shizuo had promised to stay the night with the other amongst the chaos of everything Shinra had shown him.

“Late, are you?” he called out in response. “I was starting to think you had run off with Tom instead.”

Shizuo huffed a laugh, taking a seat in the leather-bound chair. “And what if I had?”

“Then I would burn to the ground everything you loved until you returned,” Izaya replied blithely.

“Mm, that’ll be unfortunate for you then. Deciding to experiment in self-arson, Iza?”

Izaya chose to ignore the heat creeping up his neck at the nickname. He poured the remains of the water into the pot, hopping upon the counter as he waited for the mixture to steep. “Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear brute.”

Shizuo smiled fondly, the exhaustion receding slightly as he fell into the ease of conversation. He turned his attention back towards the doll on the desk, wondering at its hidden purpose. There was no way in hell it was just some toy. He picked up it slowly, holding it up to his face as he turned it left and right in examination.

Sitting on the counter, Izaya’s mouth fell open in a surprised O as he felt a warmth clutch his body tightly, the comforting presence of a human body when there was nothing there. At first he was taken over by the sudden panic that maybe he had truly gone insane after all these years, when he remembered the doll sitting on his desk.

Shit.

Izaya slid off the counter with the intention of intervening, but before he could a sudden poke at his stomach made him jump, his mouth clamping down on a strangled yelp. Just as soon as he’d begun to regain his bearings from the first attack, there was another poke, this one angled down more towards his hips and sides. Izaya’s nerves flared up in anticipation, and he squeaked, falling quickly back against the counter, holding on with one hand for support.

Shizuo, meanwhile, had no idea of the effect he was having on the other. He innocently poked the doll as he searched for some kind of switch or button to activate whatever the toy’s true purpose was. He traced his fingers over the stitches lined haphazardly over the doll, scratching curiously at a cluster of them gathered at Izaya’s hip.

Izaya’s knees crumpled at the fluttery sensation, his face breaking out into a helpless grin. “S-Shizuo!” he stammered, sliding down to the ground. “Wait!”

“What is it?” Shizuo asked, momentarily stopping his attempts. “Wait for what?”

Izaya warily regained his footing, worried all the while for a sudden attack. “Nothing,” he responded, making his way out of the kitchen, tea entirely forgotten. He flashed him a disarming smile, hoping for a distraction. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Izaya—”

“Ah, I see you’ve discovered my secret,” Izaya interrupted, nodding towards the doll. “I found it on the road this morning and figured it belonged to one of the various Ikebukuro brats. I was just going to go out and try to return it.”

“You were…what?” Shizuo asked, genuine confusion wrinkling his brow. “You were going to return it?”

“Yes,” Izaya snapped impatiently, moving forward to try and snatch the doll out of the other’s hands. “So if you could just—”

“Since when have you cared about children?” Shizuo demanded, jerking the doll back and out of his reach.

“I’ve decided to branch out in my hobbies, now will you just—ah!” Izaya’s arm shot back where it had been reaching for the doll, coming down to snap against his side. When Shizuo had moved the doll back, his thumb had curled into its sides accidentally, shooting sparks of sensation throughout Izaya’s core. It was still there, still digging in, and fuck, Izaya was going to kill him.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes at the other. Izaya was strangely doubled over on his desk, but instead of a grimace of pain, his lips were turned up into a wobbly grin. Experimentally, he moved his thumb again and Izaya twitched, the softest of noises leaving his mouth.

“Izaya,” Shizuo said slowly, rubbing his thumb over that same spot on the doll’s side as he talked. “Mind telling me what’s going on?”

“I-It’s a v—hmm!—ah, that is, a voodoo doll,” Izaya stuttered, his arms coming down to wrap around his sides though he knew it would do nothing to prevent the sensation. “Shinra g-gahave it to me.”

“Gave?”

“Or rather I stole it from him—don’t!” Izaya squeaked as Shizuo scratched a finger over the doll’s hip again with a disappointed frown. The subtle tickling was insistent against the area, and Izaya found himself at a loss for what to do. No matter how he attempted to rub the spot, the feeling wouldn’t go away. Giggles, of all things, fell unbidden from lips. “S-Shizuo—”

“So, let me see if I have my story straight. You stole this from Shinra, a voodoo doll, a dangerous artifact, brought it into our home, and connected it to yourself? Why would you do that?”

“I wahahas t-testing ihit—” Izaya tried to explain, his sentence breaking off into more stuttered laughter. Of all the outcomes for the doll’s potential effects on him, this was certainly the least expected. He hadn’t anticipated Shizuo to take advantage of the artifact’s power so blatantly. Once again, the other had outwitted Izaya’s expectation.

Usually, this annoyed Izaya. However, as he fought against invisible sensations dancing merrily along his hips, the helplessness of his position beginning to set in, he found that he was almost… excited. Panic, irritation, delight… all of it mixed together into a confusing concoction inside him, and he struggled to find a way to understand just what it was he was feeling. He was finding it difficult to concentrate, with Shizuo now intentionally scratching his nails against the doll’s hips, running his touch featherlight along the other’s bikini line.

Izaya gasped, crumbling instantly to the ground as his laughter rose several octaves. “N-Nohoho, nohoho, nahahat thehehere y-yohohou—fuhuhuhuck!” His insult was lost between expletives and squeaked giggles.

Shizuo watched this display in amazement. Despite the very obvious effects it was having on Izaya, he still found it difficult to believe that it had worked. Voodoo. Genuine magic. He wasn’t surprised to have found it in the info broker’s possession—he was constantly discovering strange and unusual artifacts scattered about their apartment. Still… he couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed with this particular find.

Shizuo couldn’t help but agree that it was the perfect oppurtunity for revenge. For the past week Izaya had been taking advantage of Shizuo’s inability to defend himself against this particular method. Sneaking up behind him and squeezing his sides when he wasn’t expecting it, Izaya would quickly render the man useless on the floor before he could muster enough strength to fight back.

Now, however, the tables had been reversed. He smirked as he held the doll securely in one hand, dragging sweeping touches along his hips with his thumb, the index of his other hand setting to work scratching gently around the place where his ears and neck connected.

There was something so oddly intimate about that casual touch, the slow, gentleness of the gestures, that somehow served to make the whole situation a lot worse. Izaya felt his face warming for reasons entirely outside the tickling.

Curled up on the ground, Izaya was taken over by fits of breathless giggles, unable to continue any kind of rapport. His fingers curled around the folds of his shirt, twitching and gripping it tighter as he forced himself to somehow deal with the devastatingly light tickling. If he would only move off that one spot, for even a moment—

“Can you imagine if I possessed something like this back in our heyday?” Shizuo mused, pretending like the other wasn’t dying on the ground before him. “I would have ruined you with this. What do you think all those top dollar yakuza would think if they saw you like this?”

Izaya dearly did not want to have to think about it. The mere thought of the Awakusu-Kai, or one very specific member at that, discovering a weakness such as this sent a chill down his spine. Luckily for him, holding any thought in his brain was becoming very difficult due to his current predicament, so he didn’t have to dwell on it for too long.

It was when Shizuo’s fingers curled just below the doll’s hips however, that delicate area where torso met thighs, that Izaya began to truly get desperate. “Shizuo please, no, don’t, c’mon, not that—”

“Are you… begging?” Shizuo repeated incredulously, startled delight ringing through his words. “Is the great Izaya Orihara begging?”

Izaya’s mouth snapped shut and irritation flooded through him at the trap of his own making. There was no way to get out of this without shattering his dignity through genuine begging, yet at the same time there would be no dignity left to salvage if Shizuo pursued that spot. In the end he settled on fuming silence, neither a confirmation nor a denial.

Shizuo examined him for a moment, clearly debating the risk versus reward in his head. In the end, he shrugged, holding the doll limply in his hand and thusly removing the threat. “Alright. You win. If you can’t handle it, then I’ll stop.”

Izaya eyed him suspiciously, doubt flickering among his features. “I’m impressed Shizu-chan—that was almost believable.”

“Hey, take my word for it or don’t, but I promise I’m done.” He held the doll out as a peace offering, its limbs splayed out invitingly in his hand.

Izaya narrowed his eyes. He waited several moments for the other to do something, but Shizuo merely appeared bored, his arm growing tired from its outstretched position. Against his better judgement, Izaya slowly stood up, walking over and reaching for the doll.

“Thank you. I’m glad you’ve finally come to your senses—ahAHAHA SHIHIT!”

Izaya let out a veritable squawk of laughter as Shizuo jerked the doll back suddenly, curling his fingers into the death spot. Izaya’s legs buckled underneath him as he cackled, and he stumbled forward, falling into Shizuo. Luckily, the other managed to catch him just in time, letting go of the doll and placing it quickly on the table.

Izaya wheezed, the disorientating feeling of the sudden sensation and its abrupt removal leaving him reeling. He blinked wearily, only to find his face inches away from the other. He decided to blame the pink tinge to his cheeks on the laughter.

“Hello,” Shizuo greeted, grinning.

“You are atrocious, you know that? A despicable human being.”

“Hey, save it for tonight.” Shizuo leaned in, softly kissing him in a manner that made Izaya’s bones melt inside of him. When he finally pulled away he found Izaya glaring at him, though it wasn’t very convincing.

“You cannot simply kiss me and expect everything to go back to normal.” He stiffened when Shizuo pressed his lips to his neck in a manner that was altogether far too distracting. “This is not going to work.”

“Mm.”

“I am—” Izaya broke off, struggling to remember how words worked—“still very angry with you.”

“You talk too much.”

Izaya frowned in dismay down at the other, before eventually relenting with an exhausted sigh. He pulled Shizuo’s face up to his, kissing him properly this time. “You are truly insufferable,” Izaya murmured against his mouth.

“And you are tremendously annoying,” Shizuo agreed. It was as close as they got to saying the simple phrase, three words that would make all of this seem too real for safety. So instead they stuck to petty insults, each understanding their hidden meanings.

The doll lay discarded on the desk, but by no means forgotten. In several days, a disgruntled scientist would discover the missing doll and a long-suffering info broker would face the consequences of the phone call that would follow. But until then, the two were content to let the night go on without them as they sat curled together in the slightly spinning chair, their bodies saying what their mouth could not.

Izaya decided that maybe the night hadn’t been a total waste, after all.

#tickle fic #durarara #shizaya #tickling #shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #shinra kishitani #durarara!!#fanfic #fanfiction

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forevercloudnine · 3 years

Text

pre-new 52 scarebat ship meme

(I actually have no idea what to call this period of comics. The dc wiki calls this the “New Earth” universe... it’s like, everything after Jason Todd was retconned out of being a circus acrobat up to Flashpoint. Anyway like a month ago I asked @heroes-etc to send me questions for this version of scarebat from this ship meme but then forgot that I did it because I got distracted by other ships. Sorry Jonathan...)

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Bruce does DO physical affection — I mean, how many comic panels do we even have of him making out with Catwoman on rooftops — but he’s not especially forthcoming with it. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that his love interests are more likely to instigate contact than he is, especially when that love interest is a villain like Selina or Talia (can you even IMAGINE him trying to take them off guard in a fight by grabbing their face for a kiss? Because I cannot).

He does occasionally instigate affection with his children/proteges, though usually it’s in instances where they obviously need comfort. Bruce isn’t always great at handling complicated emotional situations, but grief and trauma is something he understands very intimately, and he never hesitates to physically reassure people who are in that kind of pain.

In situations where someone isn’t in the active process of being traumatized, he’s less forward with physical affection. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll reject it if it’s instigated — depending on who you are, of course. I’m guessing he wouldn’t put up with hugs from random members of the Justice League. Superman is his best friend and he would probably try to wiggle out of 90% of Kal hugs if doing so was physically possible. Most of his loved ones don’t really spring physical affection on him unless they need it or it’s an especially emotional moment, however. It’s not really Bruce’s primary love language.

Jonathan seems even less physically affectionate than Bruce, though obviously doesn’t have a lot of opportunity to demonstrate how he feels either way. Master of Fear offers the only example of him expressing explicitly romantic affection that I know of (unless you count his terrorizing Becky Albright in New Year’s Evil as physical affection, which... might be how he’s thinking of it...?), and it’s entirely instigated by Sherry Squire. He does ask her to the Halloween party, but she’s the one who takes him down to the furnace room for some “one-on-one” time and tells him to kiss her.

He also notably does not actually get a chance to kiss her, mainly because the whole thing was a prank meant to humiliate him. This might be why he doesn’t try to instigate anything similar with his next crush, Dr. Linda Friitawa (again, unless you count Becky Albright, but I can’t find New Year’s Evil to read anywhere so my only knowledge of his interaction with her comes from Tumblr. I’m like 80% sure he was supposed to be interested in her romantically, but asking someone to do supervillainy with you isn’t the most direct way to express attraction, so I’m taking that as more obliqueness from Jonathan).

He never expresses any direct romantic interest in Linda, but at the very least he clearly cares about her more than he cares for most people, since he, like. Defends her in conversation and apologizes to her for things that aren’t even his fault. Which means a lot, coming from a sociopath with no regard for human life. They do hold hands at one point, but Linda reaches out to him first, and he waits to see if she’s going to back away from his reciprocated touch before he reaches for her other hand.

He never instigates anything further with her, possibly out of fear of rejection. Unfortunately, it turns out that this was a good call, because Linda was only pretending to be nice to him while Penguin was paying her to experiment on Jonathan without his knowledge. When Batman figures out what they’re doing, she immediately fucks off and starts dating Black Mask.

Even more unfortunately, his 45 seconds of hand holding with Backstabby McMad Scientist is probably the only mutual physical affection Jonathan has ever experienced in his entire life, so honestly I have no idea if he would be more into it as a concept if it was offered to him more often. He’s clearly willing to return physical contact when it’s initiated by someone else, so maybe it is something he would seek out in an actual relationship? He DOES get handsy with Bruce when he has Batman tied up sometimes.

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Trip out on fear toxin, both of them, hands down. There are few things more embarrassing than, as Jonathan aptly describes it, being “reduced to whimpering quivers” in front of your enemy. Especially an enemy who’s presumably jotting down notes on your worst fears, since Batman/Scarecrow fights tend to just be competitions in who’s more frightening.

11. What do they hide from one another?

I mean, obligatory mention of the fact that Bruce hides things from absolutely everyone (with the possible exception of Alfred, because Bruce trusts him as completely as he is capable of trusting anyone, and also because it’s really hard to hide things from a parent whose involved in every aspect of your life and already knew you before you developed your pathological need to obfuscate your feelings and intentions).

As Wonder Woman pretty aptly describes during the Tower of Babel arc, even Bruce’s closest allies are never going to hear the full story from him. So it’s deeply unlikely he’d ever be 100% truthful with a supervillain, even if they got close AND Jonathan reformed.

But it’s notable that Jonathan’s fear toxin has actually given him a more honest look into Bruce’s psyche than he would ever purposefully give to people who aren’t close family members. And by “close family members” I again pretty much just mean Alfred. Unfortunately for Bruce, nothing forces emotional transparency like mind altering drugs. Fortunately for Jonathan, nothing forces emotional transparency like mind altering drugs! Not that I’m recommending that anyone drug a romantic partner into being honest with them. But Jonathan is a trained psychiatrist, so I assume his psychological know-how combined with insights gleaned from the dozens of “sessions” he’s had with Batman in the past would leave him more prepared than most to decipher the mystery that is Bruce Wayne. (@heroes-etc: riddler is SEETHING.)

Jonathan meanwhile is more than capable of putting together a clandestine scheme, but in respect to himself he’s actually pretty straightforward. Though his driving motivation in this continuity gets more and more complicated over time, from the early 90’s “I just like fear” to the early 2000’s “my Granny tortured me with birds when I was a child and now I’m obsessed with inspiring the same fear and submission she forced on me onto others,” what doesn’t change is his willingness to monologue about it to anyone who’s listening.

Also, anything that Jonathan is unable or unwilling to go into detail on, Bruce is more than capable of puzzling out himself. In Scarecrow: Year One he successfully tracks down Jonathan’s old home to recover and read through Granny Keeney’s diary, and after Scarecrow’s Master of Fear origin was published, it’s clear that Bruce has done his research on Jonathan’s childhood. There’s even a (presumably unintentionally) hilarious scene where Bruce pauses mid-rescue of a man that Jonathan has kidnapped and traumatized with fear toxin to lecture him on having bullied Jon in high school.

Is this really the time, Bruce???

(@heroes-etc: oh 100% he nailed that timing.)

13. When do they realise they should get together?

Well, circling back to Tower of Babel, it’s revealed when Ra’s al Ghul has Talia steal Bruce’s contingency plans for defeating the Justice League that Bruce has “borrowed” Scarecrow’s fear toxin in case he has to take down Aquaman.

This was back when Scarecrow had a number of different toxins that induced different phobias, or made people hallucinate hyper-specific nightmare scenarios (such as “being eaten alive by roaches from the inside,” for some terrible reason). Batman notes in his contingency files that Scarecrow has already done the work for him; presumably Jonathan had already designed a formula to induce hydrophobia, so all Bruce had to do was steal a vial of it from a crime scene.

(The sentence “Why not make him incapacitate himself... perhaps through fear?” alone is like 90% of why I think these men would get along like burlap on fire if they ever actually cooperated on something. Also, unrelated, but the polaroid of Jonathan he has in the Aquaman file is weirdly adorable.)

Bruce’s plan for Arthur is incredibly effective, and notably also Bruce’s only contingency that isn’t either inherently lethal or a ruthlessly sociopathic betrayal of emotional vulnerabilities that had been revealed to him in trust and friendship (RIP Kyle Rayner).

(Notably, Bruce’s plans for Kyle and several other leaguers directly involve using their worst fears against them, even without a fear toxin conveniently tailored for this purpose. Bruce just really likes using fear as a weapon against people.)

After Tower of Babel, Bruce obviously needed to create new contingencies, since the whole point is that they were secret plans that no one could see coming. In canon, Bruce goes on to create the A.I. satellite Brother Eye for this purpose (which backfires even worse than his first set of contingency plans, because of course it does). But I think an interesting alternative could have been Bruce tapping Jonathan for more toxin strands tailored to taking down the Justice League. If Bruce Wayne offered to pay Scarecrow’s way out of Arkham in order to develop formulas that could neutralize the world’s most powerful superheroes, is there any way that Jonathan would turn him down? I mean, obviously he would plan on betraying Wayne at some point, and Bruce would similarly be working against Jonathan’s best interests. But maybe if they set aside their “who’s scarier” dick measuring contest to work together for once, they could come to recognize their shared passion: scaring the shit of people.

Also, the Jonathan in this continuity really likes books. And you know what’s a reliably sustainable source of books that can’t be confiscated by the authorities? Dating Bruce Wayne. The manor alone probably has an insane amount of rare books that have been hoarded by his family over the years. It’s like a weird reversal of the Beauty and the Beast, where the rude rich guy who gives a library to the love interest he may or may not have technically kidnapped is the pretty one.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

If they were dating, I’m guessing Jonathan wouldn’t want to go anywhere in public with Bruce at all. Bruce Wayne is a celebrity bachelor, and celebrity bachelors get a lot of attention, and people who take celebrity bachelors off the market get a lot of NEGATIVE attention. The public reaction to Bruce settling into a committed relationship with anyone would be the kind of weirdly resentful gossipy judgement that the girlfriends of famous princes or actors or musicians always get from tabloids and entertainment television, but in Jonathan’s case it would be a million times worse. Not just because he’s a supervillain, because if there’s any town that would expect its most eligible bachelor to eventually date a supervillain, it’s Gotham. But more specifically because “ugly social outcast” is one of Scarecrow’s most enduring character traits. Not exactly the traditional trophy wife. And though Jonathan’s Scarecrow identity seems to distance him from a lot of the shame he suffered growing up, I’m guessing that the kind of spiteful vitriol that would follow him anywhere he accompanied Bruce would at the least bring back some very unwanted memories.

Bruce probably doesn’t have the same discomfort Jonathan would with being seen together in public. He doesn’t care if people think Bruce Wayne is insane or lacking in judgement as long as they don’t think he’s Batman, and I’m sure he’d find a way to spin “dating a man who prefers to dress exclusively in burlap” into something appropriately characteristic of playboy idiocy. But while he'd definitely respect Jonathan's wishes to stay out of the public sphere, he would probably enjoy any opportunity to bring Scarecrow into Gotham high society, since his presence would definitely shake up a party, and Bruce is generally extremely bored at any social event where he doesn’t have anyone to snark with. And with Jonathan’s scathing wit as entertainment, Bruce might one day fulfill Alfred’s wish and actually make it through an intermission sometime.

I’d say that Bruce would be nervous about taking Jonathan out for “field research,” but I’m sure it would be one of Scarecrow’s requirements for any long term collaboration, so it’s something that he would have to get used to pretty quickly. He would probably endeavor to keep Jonathan away from anything that could retrigger his less healthy behaviors. On the other hand, it’s not like Bruce does that for himself, so it stands to reason that he probably wouldn’t be able to successfully control Jonathan in that regard either.

It doesn’t help that one of Jonathan’s primary motivations in villainy is his childhood, which is... exactly the same thing that Bruce is fixated on. A significant portion of Scarecrow: Year One is the two of them waxing poetic about how similar they are in this regard.

Relating to this, even though it might be a terrible idea, I don’t think Bruce would be able to resist encouraging Jonathan to reconnect with his mom. Bruce would never recommend for someone like Cassandra to seek out a relationship with her father, but if someone he cares about has a LIVING parent who WASN’T abusive to them? It seems unlikely that Bruce wouldn’t advocate for reconciliation. Jonathan’s dad obviously never cared about the teenage girl he knocked up or their bastard child, but Karen Keeney is a different story. DC Holiday Special ‘09 makes it clear that Jonathan was taken away from her against her will, and she’s spent a significant portion of her life wracked by guilt imagining what the woman who abused her was doing to her son.

Ultimately she attempts to commit suicide because she feels personally responsible for every terrible thing her son has ever done, which is tragic because really she’s the only member of the Keeney family completely blameless in the creation of the Scarecrow. In Scarecrow: Year One Jonathan clearly resents her for leaving him and moving on to have another baby that she actually did keep, which I would call a really paranoid case of jumping to conclusions if it didn’t seem extremely likely that Granny Keeney told him his mother didn’t want him and left him to be tortured on purpose.

(Side note, it is REALLY weird how young Karen Keeney is depicted in Scarecrow: Year One. At times her son looks older than she is, and it doesn’t help that her second born child is an infant for some reason. Even if Jonathan is only thirty years old here, then unless she had him at younger than fourteen, she should already be in her mid-forties. Why did she only have a second child so late in life? The implication with her abusive husband is that she ended up getting trapped in a bad relationship for survival when her family kicked her out as a teenager for disgracing the family by having Jonathan. It would make way more sense for her child with him to be at least in elementary school. Also the scene would have been way more interesting if Scarecrow’s sister was old enough to talk.)

Thankfully Deadman manages to convince Karen to hold on to life long enough for someone to call 911, and she ends up surviving the suicide attempt. But were Jonathan ever to reform, it seems like reconciliation would be really healthy for both of them, since miraculously Karen still seems to care about Jonathan despite everything he’s put her through, and they’re both clearly still suffering from the after effects of Mary Keeney’s abuse.

Bruce would be enthusiastic about this prospect for obvious reasons, although he would presumably still be nervous about the possibility of everything going terribly wrong. And even if everything went perfectly right, he would STILL be nervous, because everytime Jonathan goes to see his mother there’s a chance that she will mention the time that she kissed Batman full on the mouth. And that is not information you would ever want your psychologist boyfriend to know, unless you want to be mocked with Freudian buzzwords for the rest of your natural life.

(...This would also count as a thing that Bruce hides from Jonathan.)

#scarebat #jonathan crane #scarecrow #bruce wayne #batman #i just they're neat #it's all about those shared interests #and by shared interests i mean subjugating your enemies through fear #ship meme

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himbowelsh · 4 years

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Hi! I wanted to ask if you could do the Valentine's A-Z thing for Smokey. If you're uninspired, it's totally fine if you don't, though!! :) in case you do, thank you very much!^^

valentines day alphabet ( accepting! )

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

He’s a very demonstrative person who’s not shy about his physicality, and most at ease around people who are able to take it; sometimes Smokey can even be thoughtless with touch, because he doles it out so casually. he loves to be touched in return, relishing the reassurance it provides --- Smokey’s just not someone who enjoys being alone for too long, so brushing shoulders and wrapping arms around people chases those feelings of loneliness away.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He’s actually very good at picking out just the right bouquet for the occasion! His twin sister has a passion for flowers, so Smokey had to learn, okay?Flowers really aren’t that confusing, once you know how to take care of them. He’s no gardener, but could definitely keep plants alive if he tried.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He’s a casual fan. While he won’t buy it for himself, if someone gives it as a gift --- or a bribe --- he’ll gladly accept.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He wants to take something completely casual and turn it into something semi-illegal. Let’s go to the movies and try to break into the projector booth, just to see if it’s possible. Best seats in the house! Let’s see if we can “accidentally” get locked in a department store overnight, and run around bouncing on beds and doing weird things in the dressing rooms. Smokey can make most casual things a lot of fun, but he thrives in situations on just the right side of absurd. He’d love a partner who can liven up even the most mundane date! (And hopefully rein him in from doing anything too wild.)

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Again ---- very driven by physical contact, very liberal giving it out. Smokey hugs like it’s going out of style. He rubs people’s backs, claps their shoulders a bit, sometimes blows in their ear to make them jump... he’s got a different hug for every occasion.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

A very playful flirt, with a collection of pickup lines ranging from inspired to creatively-terrifying.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He thinks he’s great at gift-giving. Plenty of people who’ve received gifts from him would beg to disagree. And beg to be able to return the thing. (“Why the hell do I need a Dick Tracy lunchbox, Smokey, I’m a grown-ass man ---”) Always gives his gifts with the utmost confidence, even if it’s not something any sane person would want.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He definitely needs the right incentive, with the right partner... but that doesn’t take much. Truth is, Smokey falls in love fast. Once he’s in, he’s in, and it’s not easy to shatter his affections.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Gah, he loves saying it. If he’s in the right mood, he’ll say it twenty times in a day, just because he loves hearing it. When it comes to love, he’s very verbally demonstrative, as well as physically. Saying the Three Big Words isn’t a big deal to Smokey, because by the time he says them, he knows he means it ---- not like there’s any point holding them back. He’ll be the first to say it in a relationship (and might hold his breath until his partner says it back, but he’s willing to wait all year).

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Nah, not really. He’s a confident guy, and that confidence extends to his partner --- he’s fully confident they’d never do anything to hurt him. And... honestly, Smokey’s got a wide circle of friends who he’s very affectionate with, so seeing the same behavior from his partner wouldn’t raise any red flags for him at all.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Smokey is the world’s biggest tease --- a very playful kisser, who enjoys stringing his partner along after him. He loves pulling someone close, his arm wrapping around their back completely, a hand cupping their head; he’ll angle them slightly backwards, leaning into the kiss as his mouth finds a rhythm against their own. Slight grazes of teeth and tongue, just enough to leave them tense in his grasp, eager for more... and then he’ll pull away with a broad grin on his face, inviting them to come get it. Very into love nips, but will pull unexpectedly tender kisses seemingly out of nowhere.

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

He’s got a lot of love to give, and when it comes to the people he cares about, Smokey loves fiercely. Probably the most important person in his life is his twin sister, Cleta, who he adores; then his parents; then all his friends, who he’d hide a body for without question; and his family should he ever start one, would immediately move to the top of the list.

M : MOONLIGHT. is morning or night a more romantic setting?

He tends to get in a weirdly touchy/romantic mood anywhere around 1 - 3am, aka the hours when any sane person just wants to sleep. He’s tired too, and he knows his partner is, but when the mood strikes...

N : NAUGHTY. what is your muse like in bed?

Smokey is a very attentive lover. He does not work on instinct; it’s all observation, keeping track of what his partner responds to best. Do they shiver when he nips them here? Groan when his tongue does that right there? Very interesting. He files it all away for later, stocking up an arsenal of how best to drive his partner wild. And what a tease --- he’ll bring his partner to the brink, only to pull them right back, so many times that they can actually get angry at him. Fisting a hand in his curls and pulling is a guaranteed way to get him compliant; he’s very sensitive at his hips, and will turn to putty if his partner directs their attentions there.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words?

You know he does, baby, you know he does. One of his favorite hobbies is writing long-winded poems just to troll people, but Smokey has also tried his hand at writing short stories before. Love poetry is very different --- much more intimate --- but Smokey’s sharp enough to do anything if he puts his mind to it, so he’d give it a shot.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Smokey wants someone with a bright personality ---- someone who lights up every room, with a quick wit and sharp mind. They don’t need to be a social butterfly, just to entertain him; he likes to be kept on his toes. Someone with a great sense of humor, and a great laugh. Someone who loves to read, because so does he, and they can talk about books for hours; someone who makes good coffee in the mornings, and that’s crucial. Smokey really just needs someone who can bounce off of him, take a joke, and make him smile even when it seems the hardest thing in the world.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

If you don’t think this man will plan an elaborate proposal --- he’d do the most elaborate thing. He’s probably brainstormed wild proposals long before he even met his partner, just because he figured he’d have to do it someday, and wanted to be ready. Smokey would find some insane way to propose, like on the top of a roller coaster or via skywriting airplane,just to see if he could pull it off. And if it doesn’t, he has no qualms with finding another way, and proposing all over again.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He’s got a super romantic heart, and is 100% willing to laugh at his own optimism. That doesn’t make it any less genuine, or make him any less eager to find love.

S : SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

His sister went through a phase when she wanted to get married, and poor Smokey was the nearest boy she could rope into playing the Wedding game with her. She got her best dress out, a little bouquet of flowers, forced Smokey to make a ring out of an old bottle cap for her... then, somehow, a bunch of other neighborhood girls got involved. Smokey ended up with six wives, including his sister. None of them wanted anything to do with him by next week. He’s 90% sure none of those marriages are valid today.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

Sure he does! When he meets the right person, Smokey’s determined --- that’s going to be it. He’ll be sold. He’ll know them, he’ll love them, and the rest of his life will just be getting to show them. He’s definitely idealized romance in his head, but that’s just because he really wants to fall deeply in love with someone.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

Smokey’s not the type to be completely shattered by a failed romance, even if it were one that meant a lot to him. Something like... losing someone he loves without warning, or having them die too soon... that’s the sort of thing capable of breaking his heart.

V : VALENTINE. how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

It’s a fun night, and he’ll spoil his partner any way they want, but he loves using it as an opportunity to come up with dates no one else would think of. Who else would spend Valentine’s Day renting horses to ride, or going to a haunted house?

W : WEDDING. would your muse get married? why / why not?

Yes! Please marry him! He wants it bad! He’ll ask a dozen times --- once he loves someone, he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with them. Marriage sounds like a dream.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Oh, absolutely! He’ll make lists, just brainstorming as many as he can think of, and leave them lying around the house for his partner to find; he’ll bounce a few off of them, just to see how they’ll work. (“honeycakes, what are you --- no, that doesn’t work, does it?” // “hey, sugarpuss--” “NOPE.”) Nicknames are a sport for Smokey, and he plays to win.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

Smokey has a very short list of people he’d go ride-or-die for. It includes his sister, his mom, a few close friends, and his partner. Once they’re on that list, no one gets to hurt them, ever.

Z : ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with?

Honestly, it’s all about finding takers. Smokey’s not shy, but wasn’t exactly rolling in girlfriends back home. Overseas, it’s easier. If asked, he’d probably quote a number much higher than the actual amount.

#3milesup #this man is 90% chaotic energy and cheese i love him #smokey gordon #band of brothers #headcanons

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seechie-blog1 · 5 years

Text

Full Birth Chart

**Source: Astrolibrary**

Planets and Points in The Signs

Sun in Taurus 19° 45' 17"

You are generally strong, quiet, deliberate, practical, exacting, determined, persistent, persevering, compassionate and loyal. You like getting your hands on your work, building things, and seeing the tangible, practical results of your effort. Routine work does not bother you as long as the end result is useful and serves some concrete purpose.

Possessions and material things are usually of great significance to you. This is because you don't feel emotionally secure unless you can see and touch the objects you own. This intense need to possess and enjoy with the senses can drive you to be extremely productive or extremely acquisitive. Lesser evolved Taurus natives can treat people as objects or possessions, thus leading to difficulty in relationships.

You work at a slower pace than most, but you always finish whatever projects you start. Because of this, you are reliable, trustworthy, careful and steadfast. You are better at sustaining what others have started rather than starting things yourself. You can be lead, but never pushed.

It takes a lot to make you mad, yet if you are pushed over the edge, well, all heck can break lose. Simply imagine an angry bull and you know what a Taurus is capable of when he is pushed too far. You know the saying about a bull in a china shop, right? When angered, you need plenty of time to cool down. It is best for other people to just leave you alone. Others will know when things are out of your system. With anything, you need time to assimilate and mull things over. People should not rush you or push you.

You are slow to change your opinions, but once changed it is very difficult to change them back. People tend to feel secure around you. In times of crisis, you are generally cool and collected and have the patience and ability to come up with practical solutions to problems. You hate pain and being sick.

You have a love of harmony and beauty and you can be extremely affectionate and romantic. But, you do have a decided fear of loss. The feelings that usually accompany this fear of loss are possessiveness, jealousy, laziness, stubbornness and extravagance. If there is no desire to possess anything or anyone, then there is no fear of loss. You need to learn to desire only mental and spiritual things and to release the desire to possess people emotionally and physically. Your other need is to find a true sense of values. You need to learn detachment. You must be willing to let go of people and things.

Ascendant in Capricorn 12° 36' 16"

People with Capricorn rising tend to be sensitive, timid, business-like, ambitious, controlling, reserved, practical, down-to-earth, duty-conscious, responsible, critical, and cold. You may have had trouble communicating in early life. Perhaps you suffer from feelings of inadequacy. You overcome these feelings through sheer necessity, for you have determination in achieving your goals and purposes in life. You have great ambition and do not settle until you have reached the great heights that you have set for yourself. Money, position and power are important to you. The reserve that often appears as part of your makeup is sometimes taken as coldness. To you it seems that you are being responsible and simply doing your duty. You may have had trouble with your knees. Any trouble with the knees is the outer evidence of an inner inability to be flexible.

Spiritual lesson to learn: Sociability (lighten up). Saturn rules Capricorn so Saturn will be important in your life.

Moon in Leo 26° 33' 01"

You are warm, generous, and loving in your affections and you bring out great devotion and loyalty in your loved ones. You want to be worshiped and adored like the king or queen you feel you are. You want and need a partner you can be proud of and your own pride is very important to you. You cannot love someone you don't respect and aren't proud of. It is important to you that you feel recognized and appreciated. Your feelings get hurt when you feel ignored. You dislike emotional games and dishonesty. You are popular, generous, dignified, loyal and ambitious and have a persevering, penetrating mind with leadership and creative ability. You dramatize the events in your life and your feelings. On the negative side, you may be ego-oriented, vain and/or ostentatious with a tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Mercury in Aries 28° 21' 36"

You are outspoken and direct in speech and actions. Your thoughts are original and filled with enthusiasm and great energy. You love a good argument or debate and like to compete and strategize with your mind. You say what you mean and don't pull any punches. You are opinionated and love to share those opinions, even if not asked to do so. You love controversy and might need to develop a little more tact in how you express your own thoughts. Your mind is restless and filled with much nervous energy. It is hard for you to sit still. You always have to be busy, especially with your hands. Mechanical ability may be present. Your thoughts and words are quick and impulsive and you may at times suffer from foot-in-mouth disease. A lack of patience and concentration in carrying out your plans may be evident. Great wit and an entertaining personality help make you popular. You don't like to be told how to do things and want the freedom to do things your own way. There never seems to be enough time to do all the things you have on your mind. You may be quick-tempered, but hardly ever carry a grudge. You get over things quickly, then move on.

Venus in Taurus 10° 28' 41"

If you have Venus in Taurus, in love affairs you are generally loyal and steady, especially if your partner is demonstrative and affectionate. You are oriented towards the sensual side of life in everything you do and it may show through too much weight. You are tremendously responsive to beauty and physical appearances, and the physical attractiveness of your partner is very important to you. You enjoy indulging yourself and the ones you love and it is too easy for you to be extravagant and perhaps to put too much value in material things. Comfort is important to you and you hate getting your hands dirty. At times you can be lazy, hoping or expecting someone else to do the dirty work. Self-control needs to be developed and added to the qualifications you already possess -warmth, charm, sympathy, artistic. Guard against possessiveness, jealousy, and taking the easy way out in your relationships. You aim to please in practical and earthy ways.

Mars in Aries 3° 16' 19"

You are aggressive, pioneering, adventurous, and always on the outlook to start new projects. You hate restraint and don't like to be told to do something or how to do it. You want to lead, not follow. At times you can be headstrong, impulsive, and impatient. Waiting is not something that appeals to you. You go after what you want with great zeal and you do not take "no" for an answer. You love competition and anything that allows you to test or prove yourself. Cooperation is not your strong suit and you can be very self-willed, self-absorbed, and selfish at times. The "me-first" attitude is strong in you. You are self-reliant and hate depending or relying on others. You need to be our own person and do things your way, even if it might not be the best way. Your best talent is in getting things off the ground quickly. If initial success does not come quickly, you may get tired of that project and move to the next. Sustaining is not your strong side. Long term efforts are not as appealing to you as quick, short term affairs that you can finish with quickly so you can start something else. Energy and enthusiasm are your strong side. Self-control is important for you to learn so you don't burn out. Physical activity and keeping in shape appeals to you. You may be prone to accidents due to haste. You need to learn to stick to a project until it is finished before rushing off on a new endeavor. You must learn to control your temper and impulsiveness.

Jupiter in Virgo 4° 45' 59"

You have a cautious, intellectual, analytical, and practical nature with an uncanny ability to sift the wheat from the chaff and determine the essential from the non-essential and the truth from the fiction. Your judgment is usually excellent and this helps bring success in business or work in general. You have a strong desire to expand your field of knowledge and to develop technical skill. On the negative side, you can at times be cynical, carping, critical, and mistrusting of others. There can be times when you get lost in the details and lose the bigger picture. There may be a dislike for exercise.

Saturn in Aquarius 18° 12' 45"

You possess practical common sense, self-discipline and inner sources of strength which provide stamina. Although humane in nature with a friendly and sympathetic disposition, you may have difficulty in understanding other people's goals. You need to learn tolerance for other people and must develop forgiveness. You have the ability to exercise system, organization, discipline and tact in unusual and non- traditional ways. You can think ahead and plan things with an inventive flair. Seeing things in a whole new way is one of your strengths. You tendency is to be serious, impersonal, detached and scientific. On the negative side you can be opinionated, vindictive, cold and uncaring with a tendency to get quite aggravated if your plans are met with opposition. Uranus in Capricorn 17° 52' 43" Rx **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Tracey Rogers**

Capricorns are very comfortable with the status quo. Generally known to be the managers of the Zodiac, this is a sign that likes rules and prefers to have systems in place. It is the nature of Capricorn to be grounded and, well, predictable. Discipline and structure are keywords that describe this sign; but when you add the planet Uranus to the mix, an unmistakable quality of organized chaos results.

The Uranus in Capricorn generation is consistently consumed by personal battles of will to ‘revolt’ or ‘obey.’ They are under pressure to bring about change, and yet they are required to do so using the same old mechanisms. It is no wonder these folks are in search of a life coach or astrologer with the hopes of identifying an internal solution. But if you look closely at the social movements storming across this country and the world at large, it seems as if they have found a way to walk both sides of this cosmic coin, adopting a more structural approach to dismantling institutions that no longer serve. Those born with Uranus in Capricorn are learning the rules in order to break them. They show resistance to systems that block collective evolution, by revolting in ways that are planned and controversial.

I write all this to say that there is a need for you, dear Uranus in Capricorn. Know it or not, you do have an important role to play. Yours is the generation poised to make huge strides without fully flipping the apple cart (that approach will be used by the Uranus in Aquarius generation – 1996-2003). We need you to strategize a way forward to a new world order, so that the big shifts set to come in a few years do not bring total disruption. The only way for us to learn from you is to lead your life by example. As Martin Luther King, Jr., a rebel-rousing Capricorn once said, “The hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined nonconformists.” I applaud and admire you, dear Uranus in Capricorn. Thank you in advance for your service.

Neptune in Capricorn 18° 51' 13" Rx **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Always Astrology**

Neptune in Capricorn is reserved and refined, especially in areas related to control, power, fame and success. They dream of wealth and power, even if they don't quite know how to attain it. They can use their imagination to put just about any idea to practical use and turn it into money.

Capricorn Neptune is serious and likes to think things over. They have the ability to concentrate on anything that happens, so they can solve any problems that occur. Detail work is something they usually excel at. On the other hand, they may tend towards melancholy, secrets and deceit. When they get this way, they want to shut themselves away from the world.

Capricorn Neptune may be a bit conservative and traditional. They reflect on spiritual matters, and are inspired by the Great Masters of art, music and literature. Many become cynics or critics. They may be accused of not having enough compassion.

Neptune in Capricorn excels at organization and bureaucracy, and they are conscious of status. They like to be in authority. Their only problem is getting reality to work as they think it should. They may envision a system that runs smoothly, is responsive to the needs of all those involved, and that promotes on merit. It can be frustrating for them to deal with the harsh reality instead.

Pluto in Scorpio 21° 37' 29" Rx **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Always Astrology**

Pluto in Scorpio is ruled by strong emotions. Not only do they react according to their own emotions, but they can understand how others feel as well. They are drawn to activities that will involve them emotionally. Intensity is the key word for them.

Scorpio Pluto knows how to bring things that are hidden out into the light. They fight for human rights and they have a talent for helping the unconventional become accepted. Topics that capture their interest may include the occult, sex, the mind, death, genetic engineering and cloning.

Scorpio Pluto may tend towards dark thoughts. They naturally filter out the good and happy things, focusing on the darker, secret motives of those around us. They may feel that they know best in every situation. On the other hand, individuals born with Pluto in Scorpio may try to remain positive so strongly that they find themselves in denial, finding out when it is too late about all that was happening right under their noses.

Their emotional courage, deep understanding and the ability to face their own wounds as well as those they have given to others can create a strong person you want on your side. They can be rather manipulative or controlling at times. They tend to question all the rules and may feel oppressed by the status quo. Their passionate natures incline them to experience as much as possible. They also have great willpower. They can focus on gaining wealth and power if so inclined.

Chiron in Leo 4° 22' 59" **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Jessica Davidson**

Chiron represents the primal wound, the urge to become whole and heal the self, while Leo represents self-expression and creativity.

With Chiron in Leo the wound is to your ability to manifest your creative self-expression which may come through in the following ways: Feel uncreative, unimaginative and uninspired Feel that others don’t see your uniqueness and specialness, and you don’t feel liked Tendency to hide the results of your creativity and refuse to share with others Find it hard to be spontaneous and go with the flow of life and have fun Fear of being seen, or feel unworthy of attention or applause Or try too hard to get recognition and be the centre of attention Champion others’ creative efforts and support their talents, while hiding your own

The Gift: Your healing journey involves empowering yourself to live from the heart and your gift is to see the whole of life as a creative act. When you give yourself permission to be all that you are, your innate creativity and desire to shine will come through. You’ll be able to learn where your true talents are and find a way to express yourself spontaneously. Creativity then becomes a celebration of life and you can inspire others to express their uniqueness too.You may also be excellent at encouraging others’ creativity and talents, and know how to use creativity to get in touch with your inner life. When you develop a deep respect for your inner life, you can honour the spark of divinity within everyone.

For the context of how Chiron in Leo will manifest – see Chiron’s house placement

Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius 12° 10' 08"

Your test has to do with personal freedom and the feeling of individuality or differentiation from others. If your Black Moon works well, you will be an independent, but friendly, person. Otherwise, you could demand freedom at all costs or be a rebel without a cause. Or you might be afraid to experience freedom, even if you crave it.

Sexuality manifests itself in permanent change and in very varied ways. People with Lilith in Aquarius look for new erotic sensations in which fantasy plays an important role.

There are periods in which the libido is remarkable, and others where abstinence wins. Then, you remain in a state of incomprehensible chastity. You can appear tame, but when you come into contact with your victim, you are lasciviously devouring. All your instincts are always on edge.

Perhaps, you never had any idea of what a sexual relationship is. And suddenly you marry and go from sexual ignorance to intense knowledge, in which case you become prey to numerous temptations. It is easy to go from there to licentiousness. In extreme cases, we find true sex addicts because they refuse to put a limit on their freedom.

You fear nothing. Adventure is your reason for being and you expect nothing from your partner.

You find it hard to separate the good from the bad. You will always have doubts in the emotional and sexual sphere, which will lead you to disappointments. Sexual desire becomes a goal. You confuse friendship with sex.

You get to experience disturbing sensations. These are not always satisfactory to you because you usually make bad choices in a partner.

Your sexual instinct is anarchic and destroys all taboos. You tend to experiment in all areas in a varied and bold way.

For your Black Moon in Aquarius to work well:

It is beneficial for you to reflect on what freedom is to you, and at the same time, reflect on the idea of respect for others. Reinforce your own personality and be yourself.

North Node in Capricorn 1° 28' 44" Rx **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Astrology Arena**

The Responsible Soul Having the North Node in Capricorn in your chart means that you are supposed to evolve throughout life by getting your act together. This is a lifetime that needs to be about true responsibility for you, which is why I call you the responsible soul. Finding deep fulfillment within is going to come from developing self-sufficiency and self-discipline. When you can figure out the right guidelines and structures to live your life by, you will be on the right track. Like with the other Earthy North Nodes (Virgo and Taurus), your spiritual growth is actually going to be a very practical thing. It’s going to come from embracing the positives of ambition and achievement. Your highest soul-expression motivates you to set respectable goals and work hard to make them a reality. Yet, with the South Node in Cancer, you have got to deal with your inner craziness before you can feel effective enough to achieve these goals. Our South Node is what holds us back from living out and fulfilling our North Node. So, it’s all about a balance here. The wonderful thing about having a Cancer South Node is how naturally sensitive, intuitive, and responsive you are. You possess a really ingrained care for other people, even if you might not always want to show it. The downside of this placement is that it can make you too defensive or too insecure for your own good. When unbalanced, your nature can become really irrational and needy, causing you to emotionally drain other people as well as yourself. You have accumulated a lot of karmic debt in terms of letting your feelings overwhelm you and also in regards to being too enmeshed with your loved ones, to the point where you have no satisfying life of your own outside of them. These are issues that have defined your past life. The South Node can either be your most recent past life or a very recent one. In this former existence, you were deeply invested in your personal life. There was a big-time emphasis on family in this life, which you took to seamlessly because it brought out your nurturing, protective, domestic sensibilities. South Node in Cancer individuals put their families before everything in this last life. At the same time, this was a major part of the problem. Making your loved ones your top priority means that you didn’t find much purpose elsewhere. I feel like a lot of Cancer South Node people were stay-at-home mothers/wives or fathers/husbands in their former lifetime. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, I think the problem was that you felt enslaved in that role of the homemaker. You didn’t develop any strong ambitions of your own, instead leaving it to your spouse to bring home the bacon. I can also see this being a major dynamic in your family of origin. You could’ve been the one who always needed to be taken care of and protected, well into adulthood. This eventually resulted in emotional immaturity, stunting you and preventing you from regulating your emotions and needs properly. A terrible moodiness developed in this life, especially if your family just “let you be” when you were feeling crabby or nutty because they were so used to your irrational ways. You could spend a ton of time just brooding over your feelings and how you’ve been hurt or wounded. A virtual addiction to those turbulent emotions developed and you turned into that person who just had to be constantly upset about something, instead of actually, you know, doing something about the situation. This only reinforced the notion that you needed to be taken care of. However, you might have also spent a lot of time taking care of other people, to a degree where your emotions and needs were actually neglected, only magnifying your sense of vulnerability and insecurity. With Cancer South Node people, their past life self fell into either category: always being protected or always protecting other people. It stemmed from deeply ingrained habits. Whatever role you played in your family, you played it to the hilt. If you were “the baby” of the family, you remained the baby all your life. If you were “the oldest”, you always acted like the oldest. Also, if you were the funny child, the screw-up child, the beautiful child, the brainy child, etc., you remained that child until the day you died. Being unable to break free of that familial role is something that really hindered your adult relationships, as well as your bond with your children. I think it would be very rare to see a Cancer South Node who wasn’t a parent in their last life. And although you were so sensitive and caring, you could’ve really smothered your children, especially since you project the same expectations on to them that your parents did to you. Repeating the cycle in a particularly unhealthy way is a major part of your spiritual baggage that you’ve carried over into this life. Those issues were not resolved in your former life. So, now, they are your unsettled business. Because of the unconscious element of the Water signs, I think that people with their South Node in Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) feel their past-life burdens much more heavily and profoundly than most people. Because of that, you probably believe in past lives, especially since Cancer is so connected to the past. Even if you don’t, these are still issues that have strongly affected your past in this life. All of what I just said is how you’ve lived out your past in this current lifetime, in one way or another. Your nature has remained way too crystallized in your childhood self and who you’ve always been in your family. This has prevented you from truly understanding who you could be in the greater world. You can also get far too wrapped up in your emotional reactions and needs, either experiencing terrible dependency and instability or a real sense of emptiness and neglect because of these pressing feelings. We all have to have a breakthrough period in life where we realize that our South Node just isn’t working for us anymore, which prepares us to embrace our North Node. As long as we remain over-focused on the South Node, it won’t get us anywhere. So, as long as you remain moody, co-dependent, reactive, and a creature of conditioning, you are going to continue to feel stagnant. Yet, I feel like it takes a lot to push Cancer South Node people out of their comfort zone, much like with Taurus South Node folks. In order to begin moving toward your Capricorn North Node, you have to “wake up” a bit harder than the next person, realizing that these habits and reactions of yours are just doing you no good. It’s my opinion that people don’t start really fulfilling their North Node until their late 20’s or early 30’s, at least, as it is a side of yourself that emerges with maturity. But, with this placement, which makes real maturity feel like a struggle, you might remain in a state of arrested development with your North Node. That comfort zone feels so warm and cozy, in spite of the fact that it doesn’t really fulfill you. It also feels like it’s essential to your very survival. So, rising above and transforming your South Node in Cancer feels a lot like leaving home, which is really difficult for you. Literally leaving home is often very scary for you. Many with this placement do live at home longer than most. Even if you move out of your parents’ place, it’s a major deal to actually leave your hometown. Being willing to step away from what’s familiar and create a new structure is the key to unlocking your Capricorn North Node. Then, you will be able to access and develop your knack for making the rules and following them with diligence. Instead of being coddled by someone else or expending too much of your energy into being a caregiver for others, you need to focus on being a boss. This means not only calling the shots and assuming control but doing so in a way that allows you to not treat the people around you like babies. You need to make your interactions with others less about coddling and more about directing, sometimes even commanding. You cannot be afraid to get tough with others when you need to because, in the end, you’ll be doing it for their own good. Yet, this is where your nurturing touch is required. North Node in Capricorn people have the good fortune of being able to be authoritative and firm without coming off as hardened or cold, which can be the possible negative outcome of just having the Sun or the Moon in Capricorn. You have to transform your South Node, and not leave it behind, by using your sensitivity to understand just what the rules and regulations need to be. In this sense, your intuition can be put to efficient use. You can then know just how to engage with other people in a manner that will keep things operating effectively and that will be for everyone’s benefit. Your higher self knows the power of a bit of needed tough love, making you realize when to stand your ground with people, instead of being so adrift in the current of their emotions. A show of tears or a sob story from someone else can easily melt those with this placement, making them forget their original aim and suddenly “go soft.” Now, I’m not saying you should stop caring about people’s feelings. But, what you should care most about is your integrity and your goals because these things will end up bringing you true satisfaction. So, don’t be so gentle or so understanding that you forget the entire objective of what you’re doing. If it so happens that it hurts someone’s feelings a bit, don’t let that affect you too much. Just know that you are a truly caring, giving person and that you’re just doing what needs to be done. Also, let the other person know that. Even if they do walk away feeling resentful or hurt, just know that they will move on. Feelings come and go. The emotional intensity of your Cancer South Node makes you forget that, sometimes. So, the thought of possibly hurting someone is made out to be worse than it really needs to be. Your soul yearns to be in a position of authority, to be seen as a respectable role model and example for other people. And any good authority figure knows that integrity, strength, and a solid vision are required in order to get the job done. With the North Node in Capricorn, you always have to see yourself as “on the job”, whether you’re literally working or not. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. You must see it through from beginning to end with a sort of professional spirit. In doing so, you will be able to become a boss wherever you go, winning people’s respect through the seriousness of your efforts. The South Node in Cancer makes you inherently relaxed and fluid; a go-with-the-flow type. So, luckily, you won’t take anything too seriously. But, you’ll be able to work off of that natural feeling of internal comfort in order to create external structures that not only lead to your success but to the success of other people around you. Pursuing success is an important part of your spiritual development. Capricorn North Node people can be haunted by this sense of “not being ready” for their goals. You have all of these ambitions inside of you. In the past, you’ve been very passive and very willing to just allow things to happen. But, a part of you has unconsciously developed, in reaction to this, by coming up with grand schemes for the future. It’s just much easier for you to be this very instinctual creature of the moment. Unfortunately for you, listening to your gut rarely pays off, at least not when that’s the only inner voice you’re listening to. Don’t totally ignore what your instincts are telling you. But, it can’t be your guiding force. You need to be following a strong game plan when you’re moving forward in any situation. Learning how to be reasonably calculating is beneficial for you. Otherwise, you’re just left with a giant mess on your hands. No business can function without a sense of organization and strategy. The North Node in Capricorn is challenging you to handle your business, in all definitions of the word. You will be on the right track when you can develop recognition for your skills, accomplishments, and contributions, which will translate most strongly into your professional life and social status. It’s going to require a lot of conscious effort, though. More than most people, Capricorn North Node individuals are very guilty of sabotaging themselves just before they reach success. In many ways, your Cancer South Node can keep you like a child, forever in a state of dreaming about who you want to be when you grow up. Then, when you get to that stage of becoming that person, it’s too much to handle. You don’t want to grow up now! Yet, you can still be saying that into your 30’s and 40’s. It’s important for you to understand that realizing your life goals and ambitions is actually going to sustain you emotionally. Those with this placement are often emotional wrecks unless their career is in a good place. If all those feelings have nowhere to go, they can consume you and drive you absolutely mad. So, if you approach your ambitions through the nurturing instincts of your South Node in Cancer, you will feel a powerful motivation to achieve because you will understand how good it is for you and how much that sense of success is a comfort food for your soul. Through the Capricorn North Node, a pursuit of success becomes something that resonates on that deep soul level, instead of being an empty display of ruthlessness or opportunism. You feel enlightened when you realize that you have something important to contribute to your community and society as a whole. A strong sense of responsibility will then develop. Again, it’s not just in terms of your profession. You will feel fulfilled through being responsible enough to have integrity, to be committed, and to be someone worth looking up to. The more you evolve as a person, the more other people will realize how important your contributions are. A certain level of fame can even stem from this. In this extent, the feeling of intimacy and support that your Cancer South Node fosters will pay off. You understand the human soul on a deep level and, therefore, you are capable of interacting with the world at large in a manner that makes everyone feel touched by you. But, at the same time, you can provide this support within certain professional or social parameters. In the past, too much of your energy has been expended on your personal life and your loved ones. Now, your public life has to be your top priority. This doesn’t mean that you cannot have a family or you should forget about your family. It just means that you cannot be held back by your family anymore, on any level. Do not let them dictate or influence your decisions in life, which is a particularly hard habit for those with a Capricorn North Node to break. You are in charge of your life now. Also, do not get too sucked into the family dynamics, as this makes you regress back to the days of being 12 years old. Do not be chained to the expectations that come with being a Smith or a Harris or whatever your family name is. You don’t have to be what they want you or need you to be. You are unleashing the vision within to be whoever you want to be. So, as much as you may love them, a certain distance from them is probably required. Capricorn North Node people often find it very life-changing to move far away from their families and just stay in touch and only visit on special occasions. This will grant you the freedom to live your own life the way you choose it. Yet, this will also require you to take true responsibility for your actions. A part of you will always be highly emotional and rather crazy. There’s nothing you can do about that. But, you can do something with those feelings. This not only means sublimating that anger, sadness, fear, or pain into your work, finding great success even when your private life is a total mess. It also means seeing it as your duty to regulate those emotions, instead of letting them just run wild. You have to diligently do whatever you can to manage your inner child. Listening to this side of yourself will also help you delve into your issues. A ton of unresolved emotions from childhood is the signature of the Cancer South Node. But, of course, you’re not a kid anymore and you are also not your parent(s). Yet, few people are more horrified than you to wake up, as adults, and realize that they are living exactly in the same kind of household that they grew up in. Use the dedication and perseverance of your Capricorn North Node to become much more than your past, working through all of the insecurities, fears, defenses, and inner messages needed to get there. This also means that you cannot blame your parents or anyone else from your past for your issues. You’ve got to discipline yourself to overcome them and manifest the successful adult life that you want to live. You can end up experiencing great healing through having children of your own, if you use your bond with them as a guide to figure out if you’re on the right track or just repeating handed-down patterns.

Part of Fortune in Libra 5° 48' 32"

You prefer to be in agreement with others instead of expressing your own desires and what you feel, so as not to offend anyone. You do not want to disturb the harmony of the people around you, and you cooperate in any situation that life presents to you. You flow and harmonize with all its most intimate aspects.

You know that offending or going against others will make you lose friends and relationships.

You have a special sense of justice and acceptance of other people’s faults.

Vertex in Leo 20° 15' 08" **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Lynn Koiner**

The Vertex is almost always found on the right or occidental side of the horoscope. The exception occurs in extreme northern latitudes. The occidental side of the horoscope is co-dependent and other-directed so that the Vertex represents characteristics, attributes, qualities and skills to be cultivated in this lifetime through the demand and urging of other people. For those interested in esoteric astrology, my theory is that the Vertex indicates the Ray energy to be cultivated in this lifetime – a shift in the personality, astral or mental body. When there are transits or progressed aspects to the Vertex, the qualities of the Vertex sign will be emphasized. Under favorable aspects, we are drawn by people (indicated by the House position) to express the aptitudes of the Vertex sign. Under afflictions, we seem to have problems with the Vertex sign energy. Leo: In this lifetime, you must learn to get personally involved so that you gain recognition for yourself and not share the glory with the group. You are to learn to be creative and to cultivate Self-Expression and Willpower. The tendency is to fade into a group rather than individualize. Individualization is the task at hand. A personal approach to dealing with people is needed rather than a detached and objective orientation

Midheaven in Scorpio 6° 40' 41" **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: Always Astrology**

Scorpio Midheaven knows what they want and how to get it. They are self-motivated and not afraid to go after what they want. Once they decide which direction to take, they will go to almost any length to achieve their goal and make their mark on the world. They can go too far, however, and exhaust themselves. To succeed, they need a place of safety to recuperate and become inspired again. Learning to keep some of their reserves may take a while. They need to understand the limits of their own personal power within the wider world.

Scorpio Midheaven understands the basic truths of existence. Because of this, they can truly sympathize with others and can find the strength needed to achieve their potential. They learn how to deal with personal limits and assist with difficult decisions. Careers may center on research, criminology, hypnosis, psychology, acting, energy healing, therapy or social science. A change of career at some time is not unexpected. It is their goal to shine the light upon that which was once dark and unknown.

Transformation is nothing new to those with a Midheaven in Scorpio. While transitions are very intense for them, they also understand that they will survive. Because of this deep understanding of the darker side of life, they can skillfully maneuver through difficult situations. Childhood traumas may impact their lives significantly, but they have been able to deal with it. It may cause them to want their own control, however, and not be under anyone's thumb. Ultimately, they must be willing to commit their all to something. Would they be willing to die for it, either figuratively or literally? Passion is what the Scorpio Midheaven is all about, and passion must be brought to the table for them to succeed.

Individuals with a Midheaven in Scorpio can easily indulge themselves too much, and become frustrated and angry when they cannot get what they want. Learning to let go of things and desires will make them more successful and happier in the long run.

Those with a Scorpio Midheaven are at their prime when they are balancing their feelings with their intellect. Jumping to conclusions will cause strife. Reality needs to sink in. If they can understand their inner selves they can deal with emotions without becoming overwhelmed. Change is their friend...they need to creatively use their innate determination, courage and healing capacity to facilitate it.

Planets and Points in The Houses

Sun in Fourth House

You desire to build strong inner and outer foundations, but, at times, you may have the wish to retreat from society when life becomes difficult. The influence of either or both parents is strong for good or otherwise. There is pride in the home and that is where you want to shine and show your creativity. That is where you can be the real you. You want to be king of your castle, but just don't be too demanding at home. No one likes a dictator.

Moon in Seventh House

You seem to attract sensitive people as partners, perhaps those who want to "mother" you or be mothered. There can be many changes of partners and many relationships because of the need to find someone who can bring an ultimate security. This search continues because security can only be found within, not without. You desire companionship, hence many relationships. Your feelings are greatly influenced by those with whom you are in close personal contact. You want to be popular with others. You are inclined to seek partners who can bring out your sympathetic side and play on your emotions. For men there is often a tendency to seek a "mother figure" and to bring out in others a desire to mother, protect and care for them. You are therefore likely to attract a partner who is kind and domesticated. Both you and your partner may need to be on your guard against moody or fickle behavior. Marriage may be undertaken with the object of establishing a home. More than one marriage is possible. There is probably a compelling emotional need for a partner and for marriage. In order to get the best results from any partnership you must learn to control any tendency to be continually at the mercy of your moods, which may result from over-vulnerable feelings. Try to control a tendency to be too dependent on others for your emotional stimuli and you should discipline a constant desire for changes in the nature of the relationship. Concerning vocation: Your work situation is tied to the public, partnerships, a keen awareness of public expectation and the need to meet it. Perhaps marriage is essential to give clear focus to work security. For many with this position, the work profile can be labeled a "public personality." You are dependent upon others for the fulfillment of work needs. The process of relationships is extremely important.

Mercury in Third House

You are clever, alert, adaptable, versatile and studious. Mercury here stimulates the mind and the body. You can express your ideas fluently and you have the ability to bring your ideas to completion. You are apt to be a jack-of-all-trades. There may be many short journeys. This is a good position for teachers, for those concerned with detailed work, or for work with computers. Writing or speaking ability is present.

Venus in Fourth House

You desire beautiful things and a nice, rather luxurious home. You have an artistic nature with a talent for making people welcome in your home. Entertaining at home gives you real pleasure. There is a love of family and children. The latter part of life may be pleasant and comfortable, although you may find a tendency to add weight in later life.

Mars in Second House

Much energy and action will be expended with respect to money, personal possessions and resources. You may have trouble controlling your spending habits and are likely to be an impulsive shopper. Saving is probably not your strength, but you should try to improve your savings ability. You might sometime need it for that rainy day. Money may come and go in order to de-emphasize its importance. Concentrate on developing your talents instead.

Jupiter in Eighth House

You are optimistic and you have faith in your fellowman. There may be financial gain through marriage, partnerships or inheritances. You are strongly emotional and should use your emotional energies to tap your psychic abilities so you can benefit, uplift, and heal mankind. Gain, opportunity and expansion through the use of other people's money is possible.

Saturn in First House

You are probably reserved, quiet, and serious. People may take you for quite a cold person. You are responsible, hard-working and duty comes first on your list of priorities. Self-controlled and disciplined are how others see you. You may have experienced a rather austere or difficult early childhood. Perhaps there was illness that kept you on the sidelines. Feelings of inferiority, insecurity, or unworthiness may push you to great ambitions and accomplishments. Perhaps you feel unloved or that you are not worthy of love. These feelings may have been activated in your early, formative years. Pessimism and depression may come upon you because everything looks like such a struggle for you. Keep your chin up and realize that no hard work is ever wasted and that rewards will come to you later in life if you buckle down now and toe the line. Survival issues may come into play.

Uranus in First House

You are strong-willed, independent, original, perhaps a bit eccentric, freedom-loving, and intuitive. You have an exciting and stimulating personality which tends to draw people to you. You may be willful, high-strung, nervous, and anxious. You may experience feelings of unrest and loneliness, perhaps because of the uniqueness you feel. Seeking new and unusual ways of expressing traditional ideas appeals to you. Listen to your intuition because it is probably very strong, or could be developed to a high degree. You can become a leader who will pioneer new paths for others to follow. You may be ahead of your time. You may not pay as much attention as you should to your physical state and appearance because of the myriad of thoughts that occupy your mind.

Neptune in First House

You tend to be artistic, idealistic, dreamy, procrastinating, psychic, and very (hyper)sensitive to your environment. Getting lost in your own imagination can sometimes make you moody, frustrated, unstable or impractical. You may be a sucker for the sob stories of those who feel down and out. You may enjoy playing the role of savior, or of martyr. The day-to-day pressures of the world can drive you away and into your own little world. Be sure you do not get lost in it. You still have to live and function on this earth plane. Your physical body may be susceptible to all sorts of real or imagined ailments. You are like a sponge and can soak up the influences of the environments you are in. So be careful what you surround yourself with. Watch any medicine you take because a little probably goes a long way for you. Perhaps the secret for you is to lose your ego so that you will find yourself.

Pluto in Tenth House

Unforeseen activities can affect your career. Elements of the world society can directly influence your job or your status in the world. You are self-assertive and need to incorporate diplomacy and patience into your personality, especially when dealing with the world at large. This position can give a desire for power, a desire to retreat from society or a desire to be of benefit and service to society. Using power and force to get your way will bring your downfall. Use your skills to uplift society and the masses. You enjoy working behind the scenes to accomplish your goals. You have an instinct for knowing why people do the things they do.

Chiron in Seventh House **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: The Astro Codex**

Natal Chiron in the 7th house of a natal chart indicates some emotional wounds connected with how the native perceives his close relationships.The seventh house rules partnerships, no matter if they are between us and our significant others, or of a business nature. Chiron’s presence here shows unresolved traumas concerning the concept of unification. It can signify early disappointments in the native’s love life relationships, and a subconscious fear to tie one’s reality to another person.

Generally, asteroid Chiron is responsible for traumas and their healing; thus the house where it is placed is a rather sensitive area of the native’s life. In case that the asteroid is negatively aspected, especially by Mars, Saturn or Pluto, the native may have experienced quite a lot of suffering. On the other hand, a well-aspected Chiron indicates abilities to heal other people in the respective life area, as the native has amassed a lot of wisdom through his own experiences.

Chiron in the house of relationships can indicate problems in the native’s parents relationship. Their marriage may have been quite unstable or even ended by a divorce, and the young native naturally perceives partnerships as something stressful. This can make him rather hesitant to enter some deep union, as fears of disharmony or rejection may constantly crawl in his mind. The native may pass long periods of feeling unwanted, even if his relations run rather smooth. The discomfort will frequently come through depressive ideas about a catastrophe that yet is to come in the future. Thus, a person with Chiron in the 7th house may delay his marriage or even prefer to never unite formally with another person.

The same patterns can appear in career relationships, where the individual with Chiron in the 7th house will often feel suspicious about possible partners. The native will not sign contracts easily, and will definitely prefer to create a company alone rather than include other people as co-owners. Yet, Chiron does not indicate failures when uniting forces with others. The asteroid affects mostly the native’s own perception, and not directly the events connected with his partnerships. Also, Chiron’s placement can show us early life traumas more than future situations, and can also bear some karmic debts from previous lives.

With an adversely aspected natal Chiron, the native was probably forced towards some type of partnership during his young ages. Alternatively, he has become a witness of unhealthy or painful relationships, becoming convinced that he needs to protect himself from similar behaviors. Soft aspects to the asteroid mainly imply that those experiences did not hurt him deeply, but actually granted him wisdom concerning such matters.

Even though a 7th house Chiron person may mess up with his own partnerships, his abilities to consult others may be exquisite. The native can excel in advising others about their relationships, and can even become a good psychologist for couples. Chiron can unveil to him the destructive patterns that can poison a marriage, while also the antidotes to heal from them. In addition, the native’s own inability to merge with a significant other can inspire him in helping others achieve that. Furthermore, this placement can be also good for becoming a catalyst between two or more sides in a business partnership. The native can aid all sides finding the necessary balances in order to function properly or work out possible disputes and problems.

Yet, Chiron himself cannot create a professional healer, and more planetary aspects are needed to make the native follow a career as a marriage counselor. Otherwise, the individual will just be considered by his friends as the right person to approach in case they are facing such types of trouble. His advice will give insight and different points of view to anyone who consults him. Also, he will be able to propose strategies or remedies for solving any disbalance. The cumulated wisdom through various observations on partnerships will make the chart owner find the roots of problems, while also possible ways to heal them.

Chiron in the 7th house can also signify a very hurt partner. Your significant other might be an underdog, have low self-esteem or even some form of physical debility. This urges the native to take care of him, becoming the leading partner in the relationship. In such a situation, the healing attributes of Chiron are being awakened, and the native will exercise them on his partner. The chart owner uses this relationship in order to forget his own traumas, which most of the times are of a less sharp nature than his partner’s. Thus, both of them are healed and on many occasions, this mutual progress can be of a karmic nature.

The best way to make Chiron function well when in the 7th house is understanding that you are a self-luminous person. Yes, relationships are important; but even failures concerning them are not the end of the world. Do not allow your fears make you lose a good person who tries to enter your life. Of course, there is always the risk of being hurt again, but fear is the biggest enemy and not failure. Nevertheless, with Chiron in the 7th house, be careful not to dedicate too much time towards your partners. Maybe the biggest risk you have is giving a lot more than you receive from the other person. Keep some balance between these too, so that it does not happen that you feel used.

If you have this placement, we strongly advise you to examine the natal aspects of Chiron so that you understand the whole big picture. Sometimes, by strengthening the planets that form a positive aspect to Chiron you can indirectly heal yourself, without having to dedicate a lot of time and effort in researching your childhood years with the aid of a professional.

Black Moon Lilith in First House **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: The Astro Codex**

Before exploring the attributes of Lilith in the 1st house, we should mention that the article is about Black Moon Lilith. Thus, we should distinguish this mathematical point of alignment from the asteroid Lilith, and also from Dark Moon Lilith, which is calculated in a different way.

Lilith is not a planet and is not a material object. It is the hypothetical point connected to the apogee of the Moon’s orbit, the farthest spot from Earth that the Moon can reach. The Moon is not orbiting Earth in a circle but in an ellipse, and thus this calculation shows the astrological degree in the signs when the Moon transit is more distant from our planet.

Black Moon Lilith is a rather obscure point of an individual’s natal chart. This topographical extreme point of the Moon makes emotion and sentiments hit a low and show their cold side, and the placement of this mathematical spot signifies quite a lot of doubtful or even negative behaviors. Under one’s Lilith can hide subconscious energies of malice and self-undoing, yet it would be wrong to consider her as something mostly negative.

When Lilith is located in the first house of a natal chart, she is strongly connected to one’s physical self, both the body and the mind. In case that she is in conjunction the Ascendant, the native will be oozing of dark sexuality, becoming an object of desire for other people. Lilith in the 1st house can give a very hot body, and especially in a woman’s chart can make her so attractive that other people can become obsessed with her figure. Also, Lilith placed here may indicate very bad relations with the female’s father. He can be of a violent nature, and the chart owner will frequently reproduce patterns of violent explosions in her own life.

In addition, the presence of Black Moon Lilith in the 1st house can give a tendency to wear black and morbid clothes, and generally have a rather dark and alternative style. The traits are quite common as having Pluto in the house, yet Lilith brings a less serious approach to clothing – the individual desires to look extraordinary and differ from the rest of the community. Also, taboo themes such as death and sex will be used as art and style to provoke the masses. A first house Lilith person will easily wear skulls, crosses, pentacles and everything else that will make him pass as dark in the other people’s minds.

Moreover, Lilith in the first house can also give a rather provocative character. The person who has this placement can have tendencies of acting “bitchy”, indulge in mind games and manipulations and even receive pleasure from confrontations with other people. Having enemies may be a source of personal power, and they do not seem to be discouraged when not being liked by others. In fact, this helps them create an even more strong and eccentric persona, frequently making their appearance and behavior be gossiped by the society. They take pride when other people notice them and discuss them, even if it is in a negative way.

As the 1st house is associated with the native’s body and how he treats it, Lilith will spawn her magic in the native’s everyday reality through quite a lot of means. Sex and drugs can frequently appear in the native’s life, especially if Lilith makes aspects with important planets. Good aspects can even show a very responsible use of these power sources, turning the native into a very spiritual being – even if he follows darker roads towards higher consciousness.

An adversely aspected Lilith can make the native have quite a lot of personal demons, and suffer from existential questions and dilemmas. Lilith in bad aspect to Mars, Pluto or other “malefics” can bring tendencies of self-abuse, love of pain and all types of perversions involving symbolical suffering. When in a water sign or negatively aspected to Neptune, a Lilith in the 1st house can give substance addiction.

On the other hand, taming Lilith’s dark powers can grant the native a fruitful life full of sexuality, while also a mind that can connect to deeper realms and understand the functions of hypnotism. In any case, the native can seduce others easily even if he does not understand the mechanism behind such phenomena.

In case you have this natal placement, understanding how to better channel the obscure energies of Lilith will help you avoid any negative effects very much. Be careful to hold back feelings of revenge, as it can backfire on you. Also, hold yourself away from self-destruction, even if it may appear as a vice that you enjoy. Know that you are easily noticed by others, your energy cannot just pass unnoticed; thus, there is no real need of over-exaggerating in your appearance and behavior. And finally, try to keep away from troubles! In case your life indeed has quite a lot of them, you will understand that most of the times it was your choice to get into trouble. Yes, this produces adrenalin; but if you consciously do it then do not be grumpy about it.

North Node in Twelfth House **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: The Astro Codex**

Having your North Node in the 12th house of the natal chart automatically also means that the South Node is located in the 6th house. This natal placement of the North Node indicates a heavy emphasis on matters concerning one’s deep psyche. The 12th house is responsible for the individual’s subconscious and unconscious, while is also connected with self-sacrifice, secrets, the supernatural and the occult. In addition, the 6th/12th axis shows that your life lesson involves your attitude towards daily routines, the health of your body, while also job and service towards others.

As the Lunar Nodes indicate Karmic debts and connections with previous lifetimes, the native who has the North Node in the 12th house must dedicate himself entirely to expanding his spirituality. The South Node in the 6th indicates that during the person’s previous life, he was a hard worker totally concentrated on daily labor. He may have been a workaholic, while even his body suffered from such a working regime. There are high possibilities that poor health from the previous lifetime will tend to re-occur during the current one. The karmic path of such a native is to break this pattern and to dedicate his life to spiritual quests. These can include auto-psychoanalysis, meditation, or any other way of unveiling the deeper layers of his mind and existence.

The North Node always shows us what road we must follow in order to develop ourselves, and most of the times it is not the easiest one to choose. Most people usually feel quite uncomfortable about marching towards fulfilling matters of the house where the North Node is located. This is because during previous lifetimes we have gathered a lot of experience concerning the South Node house matters. Indeed, we are a lot more acquainted with the roads we have already walked; yet life requires from us to abandon the safety of known patterns and face development through unknown areas.

For fulfilling our cause, the North Node strengthens everything it touches. Of course, a lot of fears can be present concerning the direction it indicates, as it is a terra incognita yet to be discovered. Yet, the North Node is quite beneficial when with conjunction with any planet present in the house, even if it is a “malefic”. Naturally, a malefic planet adversely aspected will still remain a rather harsh lesson to learn. Spiritual growth will be eventually reached; even if it comes through difficulties, but generally expect the North Node of the Moon to bless you with an expansion of the positive traits of any planet nearby. We should state that the 12th house is probably the toughest one to cope with in a natal chart, and the person who has such a placement will have to make strong efforts in order to reach his karmic goals.

The North Node in the 12th house indicates that the native must spend a lot of time with himself. Through solitude, he can understand a lot better the functions of his mind. Many times, people who have the North Node placed here are living with a lot of fears and phobias. It is a natural consequence that this house delivers. The North Node shows that he must stand up and fight them. In his battle, he is alone, and this is the reason why a solitary background is necessary. The twelfth house also rules places of seclusion. Yet, one does not need to go to a monastery so that he reaches the enlightenment he searches for. Most people can get into such a twelfth house state even by spending more time alone, without influences from people of their nearby environment. There are even plenty of beautiful ways to achieve the necessary distance from others. Living on the borders of the city, frequent closeness to nature, or just by choosing to pass time alone in your house. Curiously enough, a great battlefield for such people is night-time. By staying awake at night, they are symbolically battling their archetypes of fears and phobias. Every sunrise is a victory. This is a great way for personal customized meditation that they can use. Especially if their phobias are also connected to darkness, both literally and metaphorically.

Also, a twelfth house North Node can bring to the native a karmic road of altruistic sacrifice towards others. The 12th house is ruled by Pisces, and such a native will learn through selflessly offering to others, forgiving his enemies and even being patient during his martyrdom. In addition, the artistic traits of Neptune, the 12th house’s ruling planet, instruct such a chart owner to develop through creating art. Thus, he has the opportunity to transform his fears and pain into a symbolic redemption. If you have this placement, consider trying art even on an amateur level. Painting, poetry or even dancing may become your personal psycho-therapy. Again, prefer exercising these activities on your own.

People with the North Node in the 12th house tend to suffer from lack of faith and low self-esteem. They must, therefore, establish back this faith, both towards their own self and towards something higher, depending on their religious views. As the 12th house is a gate to the occult and the supernatural, big changes in their cosmotheory can occur after paranormal events in their life. The North Node empowers their clairvoyant abilities, and in some cases, such people can reach control over their occult powers.

The 12th house rules large animals, and the North Node makes the relationship with them a necessary part of the native’s life. Curiously enough, many people who have their North Node placed here are strongly attracted to horses and dolphins in particular. Some of them, who also have natal planets placed in the 12th house, even have a job which involves taking care of animals. The presence of animals in their life is necessary for spiritual progress and healing. Of course, the North Node acts as a benefic, and usually helps great love develop between them and the animals.

Yet, the native should be very careful with handling small animals. They are ruled by the 6th house and not the 12th, so they symbolize things we should leave back. People with the North Node in the 12th house are advised to stay away from small animals, especially if they have a malefic planet present in the 6th house. This can indicate accidents that can be the echo of difficult events of previous lifetimes. Do not bring those events to the current lifetime, stick to your 12th house.

The 12th house is all about self-sacrifice and giving, while the 6th one indicates putting a price on what you offer. People with the North Node in the 12th house know how to price their efforts and charge for them, but have not learned yet how to give for free. A life lesson for them is to understand that there are more important things than the economical value of their work.

When you activate your twelfth house and balance the karmic axis between the two Nodes, you will be able again to seek development in the sixth house related matters. So, if work, daily routines and an organized life are of a high importance for you, you may safely turn towards them after you learn your lessons. By developing your 12th house, you are actually opening the 6th house gates too. Only then you will be able to use your South Node in a proper way, this time consciously.

Part of Fortune in Eighth House

You will achieve your greatest satisfaction and fulfillment through what is granted to you by other people. Others always teach you another way, another path, or another value system. And, every time you try them, you make new personal discoveries, making your experiences richer. You will see and experience new things, very different from those you already know. It represents a revolution of consciousness and getting a new perspective.

You must reexamine all those personal values that no longer serve, by observing what stimulates them. Thus, by learning the art of flexibility, you will be able to give those values a new meaning. The more you can discover these values and apply them to your personal life, the more your experiences and your understanding of life will be enriched.

Vertex in Seventh House **Details weren’t provided via Astrolibrary, only what’s above in bold. Source: The Astro Codex**

The Vertex is a mathematical point in the chart of the native, always located at the right-hand side of his chart. It is the intersection of the ecliptic and the prime vertical, and astrologers tend to argue whether it is very important or not at all. The exact opposite point is called anti-vertex, but most astrology researchers tend to not pay attention to it.

As an astrological point, it is connected with karma and fate, and it functions when triggered by planet transits. The transiting aspect that is mostly to be observed is the conjunction, and slow moving planets are the ones that will mainly influence the native’s life. The Vertex is also widely used in synastry charts, as it is responsible for major changes, especially in relationships, births, and deaths of people – while also in important business partnership beginnings or endings. This can be easily explained by the fact that the Vertex is always located somewhere between the 5th and the 8th house, which are responsible for such kind of issues.

With a Vertex in the 7th house, an important transit can bring a karmic marriage, business partnership, or both. A karmic union is very probable to come if the Vertex conjuncts the significant other’s Ascendant or Sun, and planets like Jupiter, Uranus or even Pluto aspect the spot by transit. Of course for positive events, the responsible aspects are trines and sextiles, while the squares and oppositions tend to bring difficulties. Conjunctions strongly depend on the planet that transits and can manifest either positively or negatively. In addition, they are the most responsible ones for radical changes in 7th house matters.

The nature of events triggered also depends on existing aspects of the Vertex to other natal planets. Naturally, a well-aspected Vertex will act beneficially when in conjunction with a transiting planet, while an ill-aspected one will bring turbulence. Also, keep in mind that a Vertex that is natally in conjunction with any planet is far more potent than an unaspected one. In case your Vertex was not powerfully aspected at the time of your birth, it might not even pose an important role in your chart. Only transiting conjunctions of slow moving planets, especially Uranus and Pluto will then trigger some events.

In any case, the Vertex is connected with people that become very personal to us; on the other hand, it does not guarantee the blissfulness of the relation. When a Moon’s Node is also present in some way, the relationship can be considered extremely karmic, and generally, there is no easy way of escaping from the people that Vertex is allowing to enter in the native’s life. What the Vertex brings is rather uncontrolled, and has to happen so that both parts learn their lessons and progress. So, be careful what you wish for.

People with their Vertex in the 7th house will observe that many times, they simply cannot exist without being in a deep relationship. They crave for union and despise being on their own. Marriage can be their ultimate life goal and they will feel rather insecure without a partner. The same applies in their career; they will always prefer to share their path with a stable business partner. That is why Vertex in the 7th house can influence them to try to establish a business together with their significant other. Moreover, if they already have a business relationship with someone, they will probably upgrade their relations to an intimate level.

In case that natal Jupiter or Venus is in conjunction with the Vertex, marriage can bring tremendous happiness and it is an indicator of great luck in partnerships. Even if the planet is just in the same house without any aspect to the point, this life area is strongly empowered. On the contrary, Saturn, Mars or Pluto can be of a destructive nature concerning marriage. Saturn in conjunction with the Vertex can generate a strong thirst of finding the right person for unifying, without being able to find him for many years (if ever). Thus, solitude can become a real issue. Mars and Pluto can bring difficult bonding towards ill-tempered people, and marital life can involve quite a lot of suffering. Of course, many more parameters have to be taken into consideration, such as the condition of those planets and aspects.

Vertex can fulfill wishes – but who guarantees that what we wish is what we indeed need? It should not be taken lightly, as it can bring you something permanently that was either not clearly wished, or that you have since changed your mind about. The difficult thing actually is to let go the Vertex person that arrives, his weird presence can persist in a paradoxical way – for months years or more. There are definitely issues to be resolved between you, and the best thing is to establish a good communication, think out of the box and understand what are your real needs, who is your real You, and whether your wishes brought you what you want. The opposite is not to be afraid of. In any case, be open towards whatever the Vertex brings – after all, the most likely to happen is that you won’t manage to resist it!

Aspects

Sun Square Moon (orb 6°48') Sun Square Saturn (orb 1°33') Sun Trine Uranus (orb 1°53') Sun Trine Neptune (orb 0°54') Sun Opposition Pluto (orb 1°52') Sun Trine Ascendant (orb 7°9') Moon Trine Mercury (orb 1°49') Moon Square Pluto (orb 4°56') Mercury Trine Jupiter (orb 6°24') Venus Trine Jupiter (orb 5°43') Venus Square Saturn (orb 7°44') Venus Trine Uranus (orb 7°24') Venus Trine Ascendant (orb 2°8') Venus Opposition Midheaven (orb 3°48') Mars Quincunx Jupiter (orb 1°30') Mars Trine Chiron (orb 1°7') Mars Square North Node (orb 1°48') Mars Quincunx Midheaven (orb 3°24') Jupiter Trine Ascendant (orb 7°50') Jupiter Sextile Midheaven (orb 1°55') Saturn Square Pluto (orb 3°25') Uranus Conjunction Neptune (orb 0°59') Uranus Sextile Pluto (orb 3°45') Uranus Conjunction Ascendant (orb 5°16') Neptune Sextile Pluto (orb 2°46') Neptune Conjunction Ascendant (orb 6°15') Chiron Square Midheaven (orb 2°18') Ascendant Sextile Midheaven (orb 5°56')

#journal #writer #blog #spill everything

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blacklister214 · 7 years

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Second Son Chapter 7: Lucky

I checked and apparently it has been almost a year since I’ve updated this one...so sorry about that and thanks for sticking with the story! Here’s the url for the whole story on Fanfiction.net. Enjoy!

Jacob glanced at the dashboard clock and found to his dismay He’d only been on the interstate for eleven minutes. It felt much longer. His gaze traveled to the grim-faced occupant of his passenger seat. Jacob’s stomach clenched in an unfamiliar way.

This should have been a good moment for him. It had been less than an hour since Jacob and Elizabeth Scott had left the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services and begun the drive to the girl’s home. She hadn’t argued with him, or tried to renege on their deal. In a few hours all of his efforts will have paid off and he’d be returning to Reddington’s side with his mission accomplished. This should have made him happy. He was going back to where he belonged.

Over the past few weeks Jacob had found that he missed the older man’s company. He missed Reddington’s quirky anecdotes. He missed being prodded to try some seemingly inedible dish. He missed sharing a quiet drink after a successful business negotiation. Despite wishing to return to his long-time companion however, Jacob’s feelings about leaving Nebraska were muddled.

Elizabeth Scott shifted slightly in her seat and Jacob forced himself keep his eyes on the road. He knew exactly what was wrong with him, of course. It was the girl. He was unhappy because the girl was unhappy. Why was anyone’s guess.

According to the file he’d once stolen from his social worker, Jacob had an ‘attachment disorder.’ He ‘lacked empathy’ and ‘struggled to form emotional bonds’. For the most part Jacob couldn’t argue with that assessment. Even with Dembe, the caring had come gradually. With Liz it was different. He only spent a few hours in her company and yet somehow it had been enough for him to connect with her. It was probably for the best he’d be cutting with the farm girl sooner rather than latter. If she had this effect on him now, he couldn’t imagine what would happen if he stayed.

Jacob shook himself. He couldn’t believe he’d even allowed himself to entertain the thought. Jacob Phelps, settling in Nebraska, just to be close to some girl? It was beyond ridiculous. He had to do something, distract himself from his errant thoughts.

“You okay?” Brilliant opening line. Reddington would have been so impressed with his conversational skills. Liz didn’t even bother to turn her head away from the window.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jacob’s mind flashed to Elizabeth as she’d been inside Reeves’ office. The caseworker had been jumpy when he’d passed the file into Liz’s eager hands. Jacob had forced himself to respect her privacy and not read over her shoulder. Instead he’d kept his eyes on Reeves, who he’d been concerned might pass out from the terror over breaking department policy. He’d been sweating like he’d just turned over nuclear missile codes to the Russians. They’d all sat in silence for ten minutes as Elizabeth read and re-read the documents. At last she’d stood, put the envelope on Reeves’ desk and told Jacob she was ready to go home. That was the last thing said to him in the past forty minutes.

“You seem quiet.”

“Unlike some people, I don’t talk unless I have something to say.” Jacob was silent a moment as he weighed his options. Clearly Elizabeth wasn’t eager to share her thoughts with him. On the other hand she was obviously having some kind on internal struggle. If he kept prodding she might change her mind and choose to vent to him.

“Do you regret reading the file?”

“None of your damn business.” Jacob smirked at Elizabeth’s increasingly spiky tone. If he kept going, she was definitely going to explode.

“I’m just saying if you wanted to talk about it-” Elizabeth suddenly turned to Jacob eyes flashing dangerously.

“I don’t, so stop bugging me!” Jacob glanced at his passenger’s face and registered that the expression was very similar to the one she’d wore before she’d flipped a table over and attacked him. Under ordinary circumstances he wouldn’t have minded sparring with Elizabeth Scott, but given that he was currently driving at over 60 miles per hours, now probably wasn’t the best time for a physical altercation.

“Copy that.” It was time to change tactics. Fortunately he had a plan B already in place and Liz’s comment had inspired him.

Jacob kept his left hand on the wheel of the car while his right groped for the top of the storage compartment between his and Liz’s seats. He flipped the lid open and withdrew a plastic case.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting in a CD. You clearly don’t want to talk. We have two more hours on the interstate, and radio reception tends to be unreliable.” He slide the metallic disk into the player and advanced to the fifth track. He grinned as the rapid beats blasted out the car’s speakers.

“Are you serious?” Jacob turned to her, his face a picture of innocence.

“What? I like this song.” It wasn’t a lie, technically. Admitted he’d had hadn’t been an immediately convert to Destiny’s Child, but there was something catchy about the rhythm of this track at least.

“Bullshit.” Jacob’s smile widened. If she didn’t believe that he was indeed a fan, he’d be more than happy to demonstrate for her. He started bopping his head to the music.

“I wanna put your number on the call block. Have AOL make my emails stop, cause you a bug a boo. You buggin what? You buggin who? You buggin me, and don’t you see it ain’t cool.”

As Jacob sang, he watched Liz out of the corner of his eye. He could see the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought to suppress a smile at his antics. This spurred him on to an even more impassioned performance, until finally he had her laughing.

“You’re an asshole.” There was no venom in her insult, in fact it was almost affectionate. A warm feeling washed over him, as he looked at her chuckling over his clownish behavior. He’d made her happy, if only for this brief moment. He took a strange amount of pride in that.

“Come on, you know you want to...” He nodded at the speakers.

She rolled her eyes, then began half-heartedly, “When you show up at my door you're buggin me.”

Jacob joined her, “When you open up your mouth, you're buggin me. Everytime I see your face you're buggin me, you're buggin me, you’re buggin me.”

By the time the song finished they were both in stitches. Jacob was perfectly willing to continue their car karaoke, but Liz reached out and hit the stop button on the player.

“Why’d you kill my jam?” He was genuinely confused. He had thought they were both having a good time.

“Destiny’s Child is not your jam. You got that CD because of me.” Jacob considered lying, but found he didn’t really want to. Instead he decided on the route of verbal ambiguity. It was a technique he’d learned from Reddington, who was a great fan of obscure truth.

“I noticed their poster in your bedroom, but that doesn’t mean I can’t like them.” Jacob answered Liz’s sceptical look with a shrug. “It’s true. I travelled a lot growing up and the man who raised me believed in embracing a broad range of cultural experience. Have you ever heard of Tuvan throat singing?”

“No.”

“It’s impressive. These guys can sing two to four notes at a time. Of course it isn’t always melodic. At certaining points the singer can sound like they are burping for a really long time.” Jacob’s mind flitted back to the festival Reddington that dragged him and Dembe when they were 15 and 16. At one point they’d looked at each other and burst out laughing. Reddington had scolded them, but the glint in his eye had told Jacob that he hadn’t really been angry.

“You’re making this up. I bet Tuva isn’t even a real place.” He wasn’t surprised Liz hadn’t heard of it. American public education didn’t really bother with world geography, at least beyond the “big name” countries.

“It is...though now it’s called Tyva. It’s on the northern border of Mongolia.” Jacob’s seven years with Reddington had been much informative than a high school and college education would have been, at least were global knowledge was considered.

“And you’ve been there? To Tyva?”

“Yes.” They’d spent two weeks hiking, rafting, and trekking through the Sayan mountains. Jacob had appreciated the aesthetics of the landscape, but he was thrilled when they had finally returned to civilization. He could only take so much tranquillity, not to mention time away from hot showers.

“Where else have you been?”

Jacob shrugged. “A lot of places. Greece, France, South Africa, Pakistan, Papua New Guinea, Thailand, England, Argentina, Poland, Columbia-”

“You bullshitting me right now?” He could understand why it would sound far-fetched. Elizabeth was seventeen and she hadn’t yet left her home state, let alone the US. Jacob was only four years older than she was and had already visited six of the seven continents.

“I was raised by an international businessman. We travelled a lot.” Of course most of the places he’d visited hadn’t been for vacations. There’d been quite a few times they’d been crossing borders to evade police authorities and then departing immediately for a destination across the globe.

“You’re telling me, you’ve been around the world and yet you choose to set up shop, here, in Nebraska?” Jacob paused a moment, wanting to be careful with his answer. Elizabeth believed he was a local private eye hired by her father. Reddington had made it clear that no one know should know anything about his investment in the girl, including the girl herself.

“You don’t think much of your home state do you?” Liz snorted, apparently accepting his deflection for the moment.

“We both know Ohama isn’t exactly Paris.” Jacob smiled. Why was it girls were always so obsessed with Paris, like it was some romantic Mecca. The reality wasn’t quite what they imagined.

“Which frankly is a good thing. Paris smells like pee.” The horrific odor was the number one thing that tourist brochures did not advertized about the ‘City of Lights’.

“What?”

“If you’re a man it’s totally legal to urinate on the street, so the city smells like pee.” Jacob was pretty sure people peed in the streets in every city in the world, but at least in most of them it was frowned on, if not illegal.

“But it’s not legal for women?”

“I know. Sexism, am I right?” Liz laughed, then her express sobered.

“I still rather be there than here. Nebraska feels so small sometimes I can barely breath.” Despite the miles of nothing currently surrounding them, he understood what she meant. Nebraska was in many respects a nice place to live. It was scenic. It was safe. For many people it would be idyllic. Unfortunately for her, Liz clearly wasn’t ‘many people’. It was too static, too dull for someone like her. She needed a challenge, an adventure.

“Do you mind if I give you some advice, as someone who has travelled pretty much anywhere you can imagine?” Liz made a face as though she’d swallowed something sour.

“Let me guess: ‘There’s no place like home?’” Jacob smirked at the Wizard of Oz reference. Having never had a home, he was in no position to assess the veracity of that statement.

“No. Traveling is great, but where you go doesn’t matter nearly so much as who you go with.” Jacob thought of Reddington, Dembe, and Mr. Kaplan. Any memory of wonder, discovery, or joy that he’d possessed had been with one or all them beside him.

“You really love them, don’t you?” Jacob glanced over at Liz sharply, “Your brother and foster Dad.” Love? Liz threw out that word like it was so simple. It wasn’t, at least not for him.

“I’d have nothing without them. I’d be nothing without them.” If Jacob had never met Reddington he would have probably spent his life on the streets, until the police eventually caught him. Then it would have been off to Juvie for him. He wouldn’t have met Dembe. He would have grown up alone, with no one caring if he lived or died.

“I get that. Sam is...my whole world.” Jacob felt a wave of mutual understanding pass between them. As different as their childhoods had been, they both knew what it was to be saved.

“You’re lucky. We both are.”

“You never finished the story about your brother. What happened after he threw you into the dresser and cracked your skull?” Jacob was surprised she remembered what he’d said to her in the waiting room, let alone was interested in hearing more. Even more astonishing was that he wanted to tell her. He let his mind drift back to the day that had changed the course of his life.

The address on Dembe’s card didn’t belong to a doctor’s office or a clinic. Instead he found himself sitting in basement of a Brooklyn brownstone. There was medical equipment, and what appeared to be a patient table, but somehow Jacob doubted that this practice was listed in the phone book. That probably wasn’t a bad thing. Reddington clearly had money, and he wouldn’t have instructed Dembe to use this physician if the man didn’t know what he was doing. A competent doctor willing to overlook legal restrictions was a good acquaintance to have.

“You’ve been to this guy before?” Dembe nodded once. Jacob waited a moment before determining his babysittee wasn’t planning to elaborate.

“Why?”

“I was unwell.” Before Jacob had a chance to deliver a sarcastic retort, the door opened and a large bearded man strode in. Dembe stood immediately and extended his hand in greeting.

“Dr. Koslov.” The bearded giant laughed, crossed the room in two bounds, and seized the offered limb.

“Dembe, my fine lad. It is good to see you looking so robust. Mr. Reddington was right when he claimed you had a strength many growth men would envy. Your recovery is nothing short of miraculous. I am confused to see you here alone, without him. He is well I trust?” The man’s English was perfect, but his ascent was definitely foreign. Definitely eastern European.

“Yes, he is well, but Jacob is not.” The doctor turned his attention toward Jacob, who pulled off his cap.

“Come here, boy.” Jacob complied and the man began removing the bandages Dembe had wound around his head. Jacob winced as Koslov inspected his head wound.

“You are fortunate. I think we can get away with two staples. I assume this will go on Mr. Reddington’s account?” Dembe opened his mouth to speak, but Jacob cut him off.

“Actually no, I’d like to cover this myself...assuming we keep this visit between us.” Dembe’s face darkened with disapproval.

“You should not ask Dr. Koslov to lie to Raymond.” Jacob shoot a return glare toward Dembe.

“I’m not asking him to lie, just to not to volunteer the information. That’s covered in patient confidentiality, isn’t it?” Jacob twisted his head to check the doctor’s expression.

“For ordinary doctors, yes, however I am not an ordinary doctor, nor is Mr. Reddington an ordinary patient.” Jacob’s stomach sunk. Of course this guy was in Reddington’s pocket. He should never had come here.

“So you won’t do it?” The doctor studied Jacob’s face for a moment before sighing.

“Given that the injury isn’t too serious and that you are not Mr. Reddington’s ward, I’m willing to hold my tongue on two conditions: 1) You can pay me the $500 fee and 2) You can convince Dembe to likewise maintain his silence. I’ll give you a few minutes alone to discuss it.”

Jacob waited until Koslov had left the room before turning to Dembe. Everybody had a price, Jacob just needed to find his. “How much is going to take to keep you quiet? $100? $200?” Dembe’s glower became even more pronounced.

“My honor is not for sale. I am prepared to face the consequences of my actions.” The ward of the shady Mr. Reddington was a damn choir boy. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Easy for you say. What’s the worst Reddington’s going to do to you? Ground you? That will a real hardship for the guy who didn’t even want to leave the hotel room. Versus me, who will be out of the best paying job I’ve ever had. The job that was going to keep me fed for months. Have you ever been starving, Dembe? Not hungry… but starving?” Self-righteous was easy for people who had nothing at stake.

“Yes.” Jacob blinked. That wasn’t the answer he’d expected. It was hard to imagine the huge boy having ever missed a meal. Then again the doctor had mentioned Dembe’s ‘miraculous’ recovery. Maybe the kid’s life had been harder than Jacob had assumed.

“Then do you get why I might not be real eager to feel that again?”

Dembe was silent a moment before nodding. That was a promising start. What else could Jacob say to convince the guy not to rat him out? Would an apology work? Dembe had cracked his skull, but Jacob had deliberately provoked him. They both shared the blame for what happened.

“Look...I was a dick. I know that. And I get that you don’t want me around. That’s fine, that’s nothing new for me. If you want me to not say another word to you for that rest of the week, I’ll do it, but I need this job. Please.” Jacob couldn’t remember the last time he’d used that final word with anyone. He only hoped it would pay off here.

Dembe was quiet for nearly thirty seconds before reaching a decision. “I won’t lie to Raymond...but I won’t expose any falsehood you tell. You can even tell him we left the hotel, if you’d like. Get your $200 bonus.”

“You know about that?” Had Raymond told Dembe before Jacob’s had arrived about the details of their deal?

“I was listening at the door.” Yet again Jacob’s massive charge surprised him.

“Kind of sneaky for someone as honest as you.” The kid clearly had layers, Jacob would give him that.

“Raymond is honorable is his own way, but I have found him less than forthright, on occasion.” For a non-native English speaker. Dembe sure knew some fancy words.

“Forthright? Seriously? Do you read the dictionary for fun, or something?” For a moment the older boy looked almost embarrassed.

“I enjoy books. Raymond reads to me, when he has time.” Jacob pushed down the unexpected feeling of jealousy. It was stupid to envy Dembe his relationship with Reddington. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He certainly didn’t need anyone to read him bedtime stories.

“There’s a library near the hotel. I can bring you some books tomorrow, if you want.” Jacob had ‘borrowed’ one or two in the past and had yet to be caught. He could probably sneak out a few more if Dembe was interested.

“I would appreciate that. Thank you.” The older boy smiled at him, and Jacob unexpectedly found himself smiling back. Maybe the week wouldn’t be a nightmare after all.

“So then what happened?” Liz’s voiced pulled Jacob back into the present.

“The doctor fixed me up, good as new.”

“And your brother kept your secret?” Jacob nodded. When Reddington had returned that night, Jacob had told him that they’d hung out in the room all day. Dembe had seemed surprised, given that he’d agree not to contradict any story Jacob came up with. He’d assumed Jacob would want to take advantage of the opportunity to get the extra $200.

Jacob had considered it, but in the end he’d decided not to. He told himself it was for practical reasons, that such a lie would be more easily exposed, but in reality it hadn’t felt right, particular after Dembe had reimbursed Jacob for the money he’d spent at the doctor.

“Yeah. First time anyone ever did anything like that for me.” Dembe had shown him mercy that Jacob had done nothing to deserve.

“He sounds like a good brother.”

“The best.” Jacob felt an unwelcome pang of loneliness. It had been over a month since he’d spoken to Dembe. He hoped his brother was keeping himself safe. Jacob didn’t know what he’d do without him.

“You’re lucky. I always wanted a sibling. A part of me was hoping that maybe I already had one.” It took a moment for Jacob to realise Liz was talking about the file. It was funny that she wanted to discuss it now, when less than thirty minutes go she’d nearly bitten his head off for asking.

“You were an only child?” Liz nodded.

“As far as the State of Nebraska knows I am. Although apparently my biological father was a con man who ditched me to go the lam, so who knows.” Jacob could hear the undercurrent of anger beneath the flippant tone.

“And your mother?”

“Died in a fire, that she may have started herself. The report was ‘inconclusive.’” No wonder Liz hadn’t felt like sharing what she’d found in the file. She was probably expecting him to respond with an ‘I told you so.’

“Could have been worse. She could have been a negligent crackhead like my birth mother.” Liz turned sharply to look at him. Jacob shrugged, feigning a nonchalance that after all these years he wished he could actually feel. “Family isn’t blood, and blood isn’t family. I think we both made out alright.”

“Yeah, I think we did too.” They fell into a companionable silence, very different from the one they begun the trip with. Jacob found that he no longer dreading the length of the ride, but rather it’s conclusion. He didn’t want to drive away from Liz, knowing he’d never see her again. Stupid and sentimental of him, but it was what it was. Jacob looked over at Liz and found her looking out the window, smiling at the seemingly endless fields stretching to the horizon. She was happy. They were both going home. It was enough.

#blacklist fanfiction #Second Son #keen2 fanfiction #I finally updated!

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duanecbrooks · 7 years

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Patton General Remember how I've talked--and more than once--how one of the coolest things about having a DVD player is that it enables you to see--and re-see and re-re-see and re-re-re-see--pictures that you dug when you first saw them in a theater? Well, the fact is, I recently, thanks to said--and fantastically-regarded--DVD player, caught a theatrical film that I saw and dug through watching its trailer on YouTube. That flick, by name, is Baggage Claim, and I can say unequivocally that it's just as stylish, just as qualitative as its trailer--which, again, is on full display thanks to YouTube--wants you to believe. It is indeed a picture that is near-to-bursting with snappy dialogue, attentive direction, and, above all, lively performances--in point of fact, one such performance is easily the highlight of the picture; there'll be more about that as we go on. Indeed, I'll go so far as to say that said cinematic rom-com has worked its way onto my list of Most-Cherished Theatrical Offerings (The others: Body Heat, Boomerang, the great writer-producer-director Garry Marshall's final creative object Mother's Day, and my gal Robin Givens's classic made-for-television film The Penthouse). Now to the picture in question. Claim kicks off with a shot of a church that, after around one minute, has a group of happy, celebratory, greatly well-dressed black folks, having obviously attended/participated in a wedding, bustling out of it. Included, of course, are the bride and the groom--and this quite spirited adolescent, who, we learn, will grow up to be Claim's lead character, Montana Moore (Paula Patton). Through voice-over we hear Montana ruminating on her Mom's, ahem, busy romantic past ("Marriage has always been a big deal to my mother. She loves marriage. Especially hers [Cut to another group of spiffily-attired blacks happily emanating from the same church, the same bride and a different groom included]. And hers [Same scene, only with a different groom]. And hers"). From there Montana lays her cards on the table concerning her own romantic life ("A easy as it is for Mom to get married, my relationships have never been cleared for takeoff"). Cut to a mega-busy airport, where we see planes taking off and landing, folks bustling along in a hurry to get to their planes--and where Montana, still in voice-over, discloses to us her lifelong ambition ("I've always wanted to be a flight attendant...You get to travel around the world, meet interesting people"). We're then taken to our heroine's apartment complex, where before she enters her particular abode she runs into her longtime buddy, William Wright (Derek Luke), to whom she further discloses her hopes regarding her romantic situation ("I don't want to spend my life listening to my mother telling me how she could find five husbands and I can't even find one"), whereupon William tells her what his wife Taylor has cooked up ("She planned a trip to Rome to celebrate our one-year anniversary"). Moving forth: We witness Montana rushing through the airport, anxious to catch the flight she'll be working, and, as she races along, we hear yet another voice-over of hers, wherein she gives us some Mom-originated words of guidance ("According to my mother, you're not a woman until you're married on or before your 30th birthday. And you're not a lady until you've had two kids"). We then see Montana having made the flight she'll be working, and we're also introduced to two of our girl's closest working buddies, brother flight attendant--and card-carrying homosexual--Sam (Adam Brody) and sister flight attendant--and frequent Sam adversary--Gail (Jill Scott). Right away we're given a look at the aforementioned Montana buddies' dueling relationship (Sam: "Gail, I seem to have misplaced my badge. Could you check your cleavage for me, please?"). Later, as the three are congregating in the plane's food-preparation area, Montana lets her friends, and us, in on this guy she's been seeing and how it seems to her like the guy is going to pop the question. Gail, for her part, bluntly hurls cold water upon said scenario ("Montana is not getting married. If she was, as her best friend, I would know first"). Shift to Montana with this guy, a smoothly handsome dude named Graham (Boris Kodjoe), where the two of them are affectionately pressed against each other during a cruise and Montana is absolutely over the moon about it all ("Graham, you have talked about [us taking this cruise] for so long...[The view is] absolutely beautiful!"). We get a marvelously-shot montage of Montana and Graham coming together physically--during which Patton shows that not only is she achingly gorgeous but has a BITCHIN' bod--then we see the latter dropping the former off at a hotel, claiming a need to attend to his professional life ("I got an emergency phone call. I got to fly to New York"). When our Montana gets to her room, she calls up gal-friend Gail, who right away demands that her buddy fill her in on the progress of her relationship ("Are you guys doing it?"). Afterward--after zipping down her exercise outfit so a nearby hunk who's also exercising can see her cleavage--Gail urges girlfriend Montana to go out to Graham's house and spy on him so she can ascertain for sure whether or not he's on the up-and-up. To which Montana, no surprise here, initially objects. We continue. Claim takes us to Graham's rather luxurious house and Montana sneaking up on said house--fully demonstrating that, pace her initial resistance, she's just dying to know whether or not Graham is playing it straight with her. Upon getting close to the aforementioned house, Montana rings up Gail, who, respectively, upbraids the former ("I didn't think you would do it [follow Gail's advice to spy on Graham]!") and instructs her ("Do not knock on that man's door! You'll look like a stalker"). Upon looking in the window, Montana, and we, see Graham in his living room going over some papers, which greatly eases her mind (Montana in voice-over: "[Graham] was preparing for his meeting, just like he told me he was. Gail was wrong!"). Alas for her, however, Montana, along with us, sees a stunning woman enter and Graham fondly helping her off with her coat--both of which clearly saying that Gail's suspicions were entirely valid; Graham indeed does not consider himself, and never considered himself, Montana's guy alone. Having been thus chastened, our gal makes a quick--and quite saddened--exit. In time we're transported to Montana's apartment and witness the drop-ins of Mom Catherine (Jenifer Lewis) and younger sis Sheree (Lauren London), both of whom bearing big, big news (Catherine to Montana: "We [she and Sheree] are so excited! We wanted you to be the first to know." Sheree to Montana: "I wanted you to be the first to know." Catherine: "After me"): Sheree is getting married. This, unsurprisingly, distresses Montana big-time and we next see her in a bar pouring her heart out to Sam/Gail ("I just can't go to my little sister's wedding alone! I'll be the laughing stock of the family"). Sam at first seizes upon Montana's predicament to stick it to Gail ("Why don't you take Gail? She never waxes her moustache. [Your family will] think she's Steve Harvey"), then comes up with the notion of Montana's "accidentally" encountering all of her exes until she finds the one who will accompany her to Sheree's wedding. Here we meet Montana's other working pals, among them Cedric, the fellow who checks passengers before they board ("First name, Cedric. Last name, take everything out your pockets! I need your pockets out your pockets!"). Since the scheme came from Sam, Gail balks at it, but he pushes on, citing the considerable, as he sees it, benefit to Montana ("[W]e can come to the aid of the sweetest, most fantastic human being alive"). Let's press on.Montana is at first resistant to Sam's ploy but then Catherine makes another visit, again guilt-tripping her oldest daughter ("I started thinking, my daughter is marrying a handsome, athletic young man. I may not be alive to see my oldest daughter do the same"), and, upon Catherine's leaving, Montana is on board concerning Sam's notion. As William is driving Montana to the airport, he comes up with some especially wise words--"You know, Mo, the magic isn't in getting married. It's in staying married." We get further introduction to Montana's charmingly loopy working friend Cedric as he's going about his business regarding passengers ("I have no life! Which gives me all day to ruin yours!"), then Montana boards this plane wherein she'll meet, according to Sam, her first prospect, one Damon Diesel (Tremaine Neverson)--who, let it be said, was initially dismissed as prospect by Gail ("You gotta be kidding me! Damon Diesel can barely take care of himself, much less a family"). Montana is ready to dump the entire plan when, lo and behold, Damon spots her and lets her know that he has ("I'd love to see the stitches in that skirt"). Having discovered each other, the two get to be on friendly terms, to the point where Damon responds quite favorably when Mo enquires as to just how long he'll be in town (Damon: "Long enough to spend some quality time [with you]. If I'm allowed." Mo, smiling warmly: "You're allowed"). As they spend more time together, Damon becomes more and more enamored of Montana (The former to the latter, with clear-cut affection: "You could stay awake for the rest of your life and you'd still be beautiful to me"). In time Damon takes Montana to what he tells her is her place and she, along with we, find him taking a nice, warm bubble bath--in which he eagerly invites Montana to participate. However, trouble, big trouble in paradise soon comes, at first knocking on, then banging and, eventually, screeching at the door, in the form of Janine (Tia Mowry), a key executive at Damon's label and his current main squeeze to boot. Having met Montana earlier when she stopped by her and Damon's table to remind him of an upcoming meeting, Janine, her Spidey sense going full-blast, is well aware of the likelihood that Montana is inside with him and the prospect has her going flat-out postal ("Damon, I know you hear me! Open this damn door!...Damon, I know you ain't got that 'ho from the restaurant [referencing Mo] in there!...I'm gonna shoot you and that bitch!...Open! Open, open, open, open!"). Happily, and at Damon's urging, our lady manages to hide out on the stairwell outside while, inside, Janine continues hollering and ranting at Damon. Yet it soon goes from raining to pouring when Catherine calls, inviting her dear daughter to a pre-wedding slumber party ("We're all here in our pajamas, and we want you to come over"). Montana, for her part, winds up slinking away, having been thoroughly defeated and being totally dejected. More transpires. On a flight she' s working, Montana happens upon two former beaus--Curtis and Langston Jefferson Battle III (Taye Diggs), the latter currently running for Congress. Montana and Langston wind up together and the latter wasts no time turning his considerable charm on her, inviting her to a meeting he's scheduled to have with a hoped-for financial backer (Him to her: "Would you happen to know a young lady--gorgeous, intelligent--who would be so gracious as to join me?" Her, in a warm tone: "If I'm asked." Him: "Consider yourself asked"). Fast forward to that meeting, where we see Mo and Langston hook up with that hoped-for financial backer, one Howard Donaldson (Ned Beatty), accompanied by his wife. Right away Donaldson is warm and gracious toward Mo ("Young lady, I hope you can withstand this election [involving Langston] will surely bring"), then Langston tells their waitress what he'd like to have and...he orders for Mo, also. This of course mightily pees her off, so Langston takes her off to one side and "explains." ("[Financial supporters] want to know that the candidate they're backing is a take-charge man. A leader"). The evening continues and, to Langston's great delight, Donaldson strongly takes to him ("If you're not elected to Congress, it won't be because of insufficient financial support"). Yet the evening takes a fiercely uncomfortable (for Langston) turn when Donaldson raises the issue of just how "black" Langston genuinely is, eventually bringing Tiger Woods's alleged lack of real and true "blackness" into the conversation. Understandably wanting to lighten the increasingly grim mood, Mo quips: "What I think would make Tiger Woods black is that he drives an Escalade and his Daddy's name is Earl." Her humor, however, doesn't go over well with Langston and when the two get back to the latter's hotel room, he aggressively bawls her out. In the midst of his denunciation the phone rings and, when Langston picks it up, he discovers that it's Donaldson with good news: Being wholly enchanted by Mo's wit--after the call, Langston informs her, and us, that Donaldson told him that her wisecrack "was the highlight of [Donaldson's] evening"--Donaldson has decided to double his monetary contribution. Yet rather than recognize and express appreciation for the obvious fact that Montana was an enormous asset to the evening, Langston patronizingly tells her The Facts Of Life ("[S]ometimes being [the] greater [woman besides the man] means being quiet"). Here our Mo naturally becomes fed up and, after telling Langston off big-time ("New actions, new outcome. Same asshole, same outcome...You haven't changed a bit. Langston"), she angrily storms out, permanently crossing him off her list. And so Claim goes, with Montana at last finally sucking it up and telling her assembled family that she doesn't have a boyfriend and that that fact doesn't have any negative impact on her ("Marriage doesn't make you a lady. Any more than standing in a garage makes you a car...I like me. A lot. With or without a husband"), at last finally discovering that it's her old and cherished pal William who's her real and true love--which brings about a cinematic-rom-com first: a woman (our Montana) rushing to and through the airport in order to intercept her male love object (William)--and at last finally William getting down on his knees right there in the airport, slipping an engagement ring upon our lady's finger, warmly proposing marriage, and our gal tearfully--and happily--saying yes, culminating in joining William on his knees and the two of them sharing a soulful and loving kiss while still in the airport--a scene which is just as moving and winning as when Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston did it at the conclusion of the former's legendary baseball picture For Love Of The Game. Claim ends with Mo pals Gail and Sam, relieved that their lady buddy's romantic melodrama is over, sharing a taxi and winding up battling with each other over a man that they previously didn't know they shared (Sam to Gail: "You bitch! That's my man! I had him first!"). So that's Claim, a flick that not only deserves high marks for being a black-oriented picture that to a greater degree than even Boomerang staunchly refuses to in any capacity shove race down our throats--the aforementioned scene with Montana, Langston, and Donaldson and his wife is literally the only time during Claim's unspooling that race is dealt with and, as was not the case with Boomerang, not in any victimization sense--but merits praise for being, on its own, a highly likable, warmly funny, and smoothly stylish theatrical rom-com. Ned Beatty, as said financial backer Howard Donaldson, is appealingly unctuous and, in time, appealingly race-conscious. Tia Mowry packs her role as "spurned" woman Janine with sizzling energy and rousing humor. Jenifer Lewis as Montana Mom Catherine is engagingly commanding and, in her confession scene with Mo, engagingly forthright. Christina Milian, as kid sister Taylor, wins us over with her dazzling spunk and her unflagging fizziness. Jill Scott and Adam Brody, as Montana compadres Gail and Sam are entirely warming with their steadfast loyalty and their graceful sparring. All of the men in Montana's life--Djimon Hounsou as a hotel magnate who is the deciding factor in Montana's eventual determination to absolutely refuse to allow a man to define her; Diggs, Kodjoe, Neverson, and Luke, the fellow our lady with whom she at last finally winds up--are all stylishly amiable and agreeably manly. David E. Talbert, adapting from his original book, provides the cast with spicily humorous and spicily sexy things to say and do. And Talbert the director deftly creates an air of tangy camaraderie and simmering sexuality that, to his great credit, he maintains throughout the entire picture. Now to Paula Patton. She is, in a word, sensational. Starting off with the fact that her slender statesqueness--she's 5'7", to be precise--gives her a forcefully enticing valkyrie appeal, she's an honestly captivating blend of urbane beauty, Seven-Sisters-colleges charm, and Katana-sharp intelligence. Whenever she's in a two-shot, regardless of who the other actor is, her carefully-polished good looks and her runway-model sexiness have your eyes riveted upon her. You might remember that, in an earlier article, I discussed the sincerely depressing scarcity of contemporary big-screeners in which there is the emergence of a real and true female star, the monumental lack of modern-day pictures which feature the appearance of an honest cinematic diva who shines mega-brightly and who easily towers not only over her brother-and-sister theatrical-film actors but over us as well, such as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and Sandra Bullock in Speed and my lady Robin Givens in Boomerang. It is Baggage Claim that forcefully and proudly shows that Paula Patton deserves to be added to that woefully short list.

#baggage claim #Body Heat #boomerang #garry marshall #mother's day #robin givens #The Penthouse #paula patton #julia roberts #pretty woman #Sandra Bullock #speed

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