#just because he makes them for sympathetic reasons does not mean they weren't still mistakes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astro-rain · 3 years

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delicate; b.barnes

chapter eleven - “there’s a reason behind everything”

delicate masterlist

word count: 2k

synopsis: bucky and y/n endure an event of stressful affliction, followed by something... entrancing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

It had been a few days. There hadn't been any more headaches or vomiting. He was glad that Y/N faced no more impediments after that. However, he can't say the same for himself.

The thrashing was violent, his limbs wrenching, muscles tensing. The sheet beneath him was damp from cold sweat. He hadn't had a nightmare this bad in a while.

Ghastly memories assaulted him, ripping him from reality and forcing him back into agony, torture, and trauma. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, but he wasn't sure if that was in the nightmare or real life. The lines of reality and dreamscape faded. He couldn't tell if he was awake, and panic metastasized throughout his body.

His arms were strapped down - yes, two of them. He couldn't tell if the other was metal or not; the only thing he could register was that he had zero control. He was exposed and helpless and right back where he was before. He had never gotten out. Hydra still had their chains around his neck, choking the humanity out of him, and violating his autonomy to make a monster out of a man.

He felt like a caged animal. All there existed was terror; he needed to get out and he didn't care if he had to cut off a body part to do it. He jerked his body and pulled his arms as hard as he could. He thrashed and thrashed, desperately trying to somehow find a way out of this hell. He tried to scream but his lungs were frozen, cracked and collapsed from the ice that they defiled him with.

Every nerve in his body was ignited, screeching to try to escape. The only coherent thought in his head was "get out." Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get—

The top of his head suddenly burned, pain radiating out in beats, like a heart rate. It was then when he realized he was awake. It was then when he realized he had flung himself up, causing his head to collide with the wooden slats of the top bunk. It was also at this point when he heard her voice.

"Bucky!" her voice shook intensely, worry bubbling from the back of her throat. "Oh my god."

Faintly, the fear in her voice registered somewhere in the back of Bucky's brain, but this had no effect on his entirely overstimulated nervous system. His reaction was visceral; he flinched hard, jolting away from Y/N and falling off the side of the bed. The floor was cold; he could feel it in his hand and knees as he knelt on all fours (all threes?) trying to catch his breath.

Y/N hurried around the bed and immediately dropped to the floor in front of him. Her hands were quivering in front of her, completely unsure of how he would react to being touched.

His eyes were glued to the floor beneath him, but in his peripheral he could see Y/N's legs. Suddenly, she knelt on her hands, trying to be as non-threatening as she could.

"Buck," she whispered. "It was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. You're here, and you're just fine."

"Fuck," he whispered. His body was on fire; he wished it'd just calm down.

"Your hand's on the floor. What does the floor feel like?" she asked, in an attempt to detour his attention.

"Cold," he strained.

"Cold, yeah," she said. "Do you know why?"

He shook his head.

"It's because it's made of stone. Stone has a high thermal conductivity, which means it allows heat to flow through it quickly. The heat from your skin goes right into it and flows through really fast."

He pivoted his wrist slightly, smoothing the skin on his hand over the stone, feeling the cold, and thinking about what Y/N said.

She smiled slightly. "There's a reason behind everything, you know. An explanation."

"Even for this?" he asked, referencing the panic.

"Especially for this. What are you feeling right now?"

"Can't breathe."

"Yep. Okay, that's normal, too. That's your nervous system. It's really riled up right now because you're stressed. See, your body has a natural response to stress called the fight or flight response. It's supposed to be used in the wild to run from a predator or something, and you can imagine how engaging and intense that would be on your body," her voice was calm and steady. "The only thing is, your body is going through those same functions and feelings when you're not out running from a lion or something, trying to fight for your life. Instead, you're here. You're sitting on the floor and you're here with me. You're not in any immediate danger. We're fine."

He nodded, still looking down, still trying to compose himself. He couldn't look her in the eyes once he realized his face was wet from tears. He was acutely embarrassed. Be that as it may, she was helping. What she said made sense. It helped to understand just what his body was doing rather than simply trying to survive through it.

Suddenly, directly where his eyes were cast, a drop of crimson appeared on the floor; it dripped down from him. It was then when he registered the sharp ache in his nose and the warm, wet feeling around it. Blood.

"Bucky, there's- blood, are you okay?" The calm in her voice was muffled by worry.

"Y-Yeah, I'm... I'm fine. It's just my nose..."

"What can I do?"

"Can you just... keep talking?"

"Yes," she breathed, the calm returning with infinite softness. "So, there are a few divisions of the nervous system. First, you have the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Then, from the peripheral, you have the somatic and autonomic systems. And then from autonomic, you have the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Those are what you're feelin' right now. Your sympathetic is what gets you ramped up - you know, increases in heart rate, breathing, sweating. And then your parasympathetic is what calms you down, so slowing your heart rate and breathing and so on. Your sympathetic activated the fight or flight response, and your parasympathetic is trying to rein you back in... I hope that makes sense."

"It does."

"You know the hormone that gets released during all this?"

"Adrenaline's the only one I can think of."

"There you go!" she smiled. "It comes from the adrenal glands."

"Can I get those removed, then?"

"Unfortunately not. Do you still have your tonsils?"

"Nah, got those taken out forever ago."

"Appendix?"

"I think I still have that one?"

She laughed. "Well that's good. The appendix is sorta kinda part of the lymphatic system."

"The what?"

"Er- immune system I mean."

"Never knew that," he commented.

"There's a reason behind everything, you know," she quoted herself endearingly.

"An explanation," he said, completing the sentiment and finally looking up.

Upon seeing his face, Y/N tried to hide her shock and concern, but he noticed. The apprehension was clear. He didn't want to be pitied; he wished he would've just suffered through this alone in a hole or something.

"There you are," she whispered.

Her voice was so gentle that his chest almost cramped, and then his entire body softened. Never mind. He'd much rather stay.

"Here I am."

She reached forward, ever so delicately, and smoothed the pads of her thumbs along his cheeks, effectively wiping away the tears. Effectively removing the physical aftermath of his pain.

She gave a strained smile. Why did he feel bad?

"Stay here," she instructed before getting up.

He'd do nothing but comply.

She came back with a damp white cloth, returning to her kneeling position in front of him.

"Here," she breathed, putting the cloth up to his nose.

He reached up to grab it, but her hand pulled away.

"I got it," she reassured.

He wasn't about to allow her to clean up his mess. This was pathetic enough as it was; he was pathetic enough as he was. She didn't need to tend to him out of obligation.

He insisted. "No, it's okay. I can do it."

"Bucky, let me help. Please."

"You don't have to. Seriously, it's fine."

"I know I don't have to - I want to. I want to help. Please just let me help."

He found he wasn't very good at saying no to her. He nodded silently, closed his eyes, and leaned his head forward. She got to work, gently dabbing the cloth to his blood stained skin, blotting the red, erasing the damage.

"You know," she said, a slight inflection in her voice as a result of her concentration. "I think you accidentally hit yourself in your sleep. I think that's why you're bleeding. 'Cause your head hit the top bunk, not your face."

"I'm really that talented, huh?"

She snickered. "Very. I don't know if I could manage such a feat."

"No, if you had nightmares, you'd probably just know exactly what each one meant and adjust your subconscious so you weren't afraid anymore."

She leaned back, an amused but shocked expression on her face, eyebrows raised, head tilted. Then she laughed.

"Look at you. Came for my neck with that one."

"I was just joking-"

"I know," she chuckled, leaning back in to continue her diligent work, "don't worry. I thought it was funny... even though it was wrong."

"Wrong?"

"Bucky, I wish I had that much control. I know the brain, but I can't work with mine that well. I'm only good at working with other people's."

He smirked. "Nah, I still think you could."

"Well, you have too much faith in me."

He couldn't think of a response to that. He had become decently distracted by the warmth radiating from her. She was so close. He thought back to what she said about heat conductivity, and briefly wondered how fast her warmth might transfer to him. What would happen if he just... opened his eyes-

Big mistake. He nearly drowned in the color, the depth all consuming. He hadn't noticed her movements stopped. She held the cloth at her chest, waiting. There were mere inches between them.

"Hi," she whispered, the ends of her mouth turning up ever so slightly.

He didn't think his body had ever been so still. He returned the smile all the same.

"Hi."

"What are you thinkin'?"

He could see every detail on her face. It made him equal amounts nervous and giddy. He never really thought about the number of eyelashes an average person had, but he became suddenly interested in counting each one of hers.

"I don't... I don't know..."

"You don't know? Well, it looks like there's at least a couple of hefty thoughts swirlin' around in there."

He did have a thought. Well, more of a question. What would happen if he glanced at her lips? What would happen if he just leaned in?

"Yeah... yeah, there may be a few."

When she didn't respond, her eyes bore into him, and dear lord, he felt bare. Eye contact is a dangerous, dangerous thing. But lovely. Oh, so lovely. And then that thing started to happen again: when time got lazy and the world felt slow. The room was without a sound. The only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat and maybe some of hers, too. It's as if they were in a trance.

Then, that thought returned. What would happen if he just leaned in? Rationally, he knew he shouldn't try to find the answer to that question. Nonetheless, curiosity beckoned him. Had the space between them become smaller? He couldn't tell. Not even an inch of their skin was touching the other, but every sensation and perception was so overwhelming, he thought his brain might fizzle out.

She was just so, so close. He was frozen, and never wanted to move again. She was so close, until suddenly she wasn't. Until suddenly, the trance stopped, time caught up, and the world began to move once more. Until suddenly, Y/N's serene smile disappeared, and she leaned back, awkwardly clearing her throat.

"Does your nose hurt? I can see if I can come up with a makeshift icepack or something."

"Uh, no. No, it's fine. I don't even feel it..."

He wondered which feeling he was denying.

delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie

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tempoaryblogformightyjensblog · 3 years

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After a Longass time, I'm gonna make a response post to a post from @itsclydebitches. Not sure if I'll acknowledge All

Of it, but still..

1.Thats, the opposite of what the First episode shows, the first episode shows that the Military presence in Mantle dosent really do anything to actually help them with the Grimm. With it even being joked about as usual for the Military by Nora. The next episode also states that wasn't even the reason James had for it. It was to handle the 'eventual' Panick.

2.This and the recurring point of this later on is something I kinda want to address, because it's sort of what I was trying to say in My ask but I should go into more detail.

The point is basically that If James was shady for what he did, then So is Ruby for being willing to work with him for that long...I kinda want to mix this with a different Criticism I heard. That Ruby not trusting Ironwood was horrible and ungrateful because of all the good stuff James had done and how sympathetic and well meaning he was. The issue is that they are both 2 halves of the picture that ignore the other half, wich was what the heroes actual response was.

Him being sympathetic, clearly just trying to help and all the Good stuff he was doing is why they are willing to work with him and help with things. But Ruby didn't like his shadier actions either, wich is why she didn't trust him completely. And also? ""Nora dosent agree...But Ruby, the leader, does. She pushed Ironwood to finish Amity somwhow", that....isnt What happens, we see After Nora yells at James, ruby walks up to him and tells him more calmly that his actions, his management of Mantle and such were only helping Salem and it's what was making it easy for Salem to frame him. And earlier on we saw her with the other protags suggest working with Robyn. That's not 'Reaping the benefits of his actions even if they don't like them', that's not liking some of his actions but still trying to Understand him, and hope to reason or talk him down. Basically...Well it's a display that the other charachterization for Ruby, that she was a judgmental child who considered anyone who went beyond her standard of perfection to be Evil, isn't true. She tries to help and Understand James because she knows despite his flaws he is trying to do good, she tries to reach out to him and get him to see his actions were flawed.

Hell, the Jobs they were actually given were jobs where they could actually help soften the consequences of James actions, like Ren and Nora guarding the wall. the Robyn thing was a direct display that they weren't just doing anything James asked or were perfectly fine with his morally ambiguous actions. When ordered to attack a Huntress who was just trying to help, they instead went against his orders and even tried to actually fix things in a better way.

3.This is a few different issues, I'll start by saying that, that wasn't Ozpins problem in the Previous Volume, Some fans and some of the Heroes in there Angrier times think that, But the big thing was basically that Ozpin wasn't trusting anyone With that Info, that's what separates it from Rubies situation with James, Ruby wasn't trusting James because he actually did have many traits that made him look untrustworthy. And...well Finishing Amity and the plan is not pointless even with Salems immorality. Ruby dosent 'Know' That her being immortal means that the whole plan is pointless for 2 reasons, 1 is that she never had the mindset that it made it all pointless, she was actually distinctly against that when the others thought that under the Apathies influence, and makes her stance clear later, that Salem being Unkillable doesn't mean she's unstoppable. And 2, she dosent 'Know' that because....Its not true. Even if they can't directly kill her like James is planning...Were explicitly, directly told in Salems first actual appearance in the show that Humanity United was a threat and that was why she was going to ensure she divided them. Not to mention that...It isn't even all about the plan? It's made clear that global communications being down was a really bad thing and fixing that alone would help.

4.Im just gonna address one point here...It was not 'The Majority of Mantle' Being taken, were told that they were not even close to being done evacuating.

5.Basically what I said at 2, But to also state, James wasn't an Unambiguous Bad guy in Volume 7, He was in the Wrong In Volume 7, but he wasn't meant to be a Villain yet. The point of James charachter is basically he's someone who meant well but was highly flawed and made bad decisions, and instead of growing from his mistakes, he doubled down on them and let his flaws consume him. I'll get to it more later, but, that doesn't mean he was always evil or meant to be, Also...Jaunes license was given to him by James but, he was not part of the Military being fused with Huntsman, especially by this point. And with Winters words in her and James fight, I have my own issues with that fight or Winters Arc, but I don't think that point holds up either because we weren't meant to see Winter as unambiguously a good guy in Volume 7. Her words in there fight was after she had changed, that dosent mean we're supposed to believe she was a hero while working under James. It just means her POV changed after leaving him, now she wasn't following her programming of being blindly obedient anymore. Penny called out Winter for her being willing to follow through with euthanizing the Winter Maiden, Marrow calls her out in Volume 8 asking the Weiss question.

6.Well, to answer the questions there, were told in episode 5 what the recources were. Clover says how they were taking 'Construction resources', were told this again by Penny in the Car ride, wich makes total sense. They are changing Amity so that it could serve as a shuttle, so needing Construction stuff makes sense. While we may not be told how much power James had explicitly, they do give us a decent idea, that he had way more then he should. It's said in the Council meeting that they set in Checks and balances to keep him from overstepping with his seats, and that he basically just Ignored them to pull the actions he did in Volume 7. And Watts gives us both one Major decision that shows James flaws and gives a Clue as to part of the reasons Mantle was crappy as it was, saying how James updated most of the code in Atlas after the fall of Beacon, but 'As Usual' None was updated in Mantle. Aside from showing a...Truly Spectacularly callous move on James part, it also gives a big clue as to part of the reason Mantle is as crappy as it is, That Atlas and James basically treat Mantle like an afterthought and neglects changing things there to make things better, resulting in the City's state that we see. And, I imagine that being surveillanced and patrolled almost constantly wouldn't be ideal, and it's established by Winters line in that first episode that not cooperating with Personal was a punishable offense. I think you also....Picked a really bad example with Rhodes, if anything, Rhodes is probably a perfect demonstration of why being complacent or loyal to a system is bad for Huntsmen. I think if he would have loved to help Cinder more, it's just that he was loyal to the System and wasn't doing anything to upset the status quo despite knowing it was wrong. If issues like that existed, then it makes James specialist program, wich is specifically supposed to be Huntsmen trained to be loyal to the system, an even worse idea. Also I sort of feel like the bits at the end are sort of a false equivalency. I explained Ozpin amd Rhodes but also...Well for one, while we don't see portals line up in those specific areas, the plan was to have Jaune explain what was going on with everyone. And Qrow, Marrow and Robyn were still taking in the other Ace ops,they knew the plan so they would likely just head over to the nearest portal after, and...Maria and Pietro weren't there. And in James case, it wasn't just him 'saving who he could', it's that he could have tried to do more but didn't because he didn't want to risk it, and as Volume 8 showed, they really did have lots of time to evacuate people and could have found a way to Launch Amity. And...Well in his case there's the little fact that, as his Convo with Oscar makes explicit, James plan involved leaving the rest of Mankind To the dust and at Salems mercy.

There are problems with RWBY, but I don't think it's shoddily written, partially because I don't really find it 'particularly' flawed and think the good far outweighs the bad. And you know what? To some degree, I agree. I do think there's a weird bias towards authority in the FNDM, but maybe alot of fans are too dismissive of criticism, I do think to some degree we should acknowledge the RWDE and such aren't all right wingers and there's now a Vocal part of it that are on the left or members of minority groups. I don't agree with a ton of the things they say, and think most of it dosent hold up, but instead of just dismissing, perhaps it's better to look at things in detail and give proper arguments agaisnt them. So I won't treat you like an idiot, I'm going to give a full rundown on why I don't feel like it holds up under analytical scrutiny.

For one, while it doesn't have those specific issues like in the real world, I don't agree with this Criticism because I feel it is the one that sort of ignores the worldbuilding and what's been shown or said about the Military and the world itself and not the show, It sort of feels like people just bring up the basic concepts that would seem reasonable and ignore how the show executes certain things. For one, the military was a leftover from a time when they were meant to fight against other humans, It was something an Authoritarian state held over after its defeat and reformation, James and the Military helped Jac as he turned the SDC into the horrific corporate empire it is, Covordin shows that Nationalism is indeed a bit thing and that there were high ranking officers who were fully comfortable with the possiblity of just waging war on the other Kingdoms again. And then there's the specialist program, I've seen people sort of distill it to its very basics to make it seem more reasonable, describing it as just stuff like Huntsmen having rules and such, when the show displays it being way more screwed up then that. It literally involves indoctrinating people as students, were shown Elm reprimand the protagonists saying how they don't need to think about Orders just follow them. As both Volumes show, the culture of the program is deeply screwed up and unhealthy for them, were shown how they taught stuff like repressing your emotions and how deeply unhealthy it is for them.

And...Furthermore? If we're judging by how things are In Universe with the show the world built...James way of doing things is, completely absurd. I already dislike Cynical 'This is the REAL world 'Types IRL. But....In the world James is in, his strategy is just....

He lives in a world where negativity causes monster attacks and the villains whole Shtick is manipulating narratives to cause disarray and ensuring people stay divided. James strategy involved closing off Atlas from the rest of Remnant after they were framed for causing the Fall of Beacon, never bothering to clear there name when sleet and Camilla say he could easily do so, he dismisses both his image across the Globe and in Atlas, and dismisses what the people of Mantle want and the stuff his actions currently cause, all as Neccesary sacrifices when that's all completely insane and Relies on basically ignoring absolutely everything about the situation they are in and how there enemy works, wich again, Ruby points out, that he was actively playing into Salems hands and making it easier for her.

I think it's a decent display of the Tunnel Vision James has, he's prepared for the negativity of the END result of his plan and made preparations for it, but he...Basically ignores the consequences his actions are having right now and how that will affect his ends.

Overall...I think the issue is that James is not meant to be the Bad guy through Volume 7, and I feel like its not that the show 'contradicts' it's pure black and white take on things, it's just that it wasn't there to begin with. Whenever a Major flaw Ironwood had from the start is brought up, it's claimed that it means he was supposed to be 'Always evil'(admitedly some fans as well), when it dosent, it just means his flaws and darker aspects were always there and he didn't jump off the slippery slope instantly like some claim.

Were meant to sympathize with James, understand him, ECT. We're meant to want to see him get better, to be escatic when he does almost get better.

Overall, I don't agree with the idea that James was a reasonable charachter who was bastardized, the show set him up as flawed pretty well already, he's sympathetic because he's designed to be sympathetic. He's not potrayed as a Villain through 7 because he wasn't meant to be til the end.

Also...Well, even if you still felt that him 'Just' abandoning Mantle was still just morally gray...That isn't dropped in V8, it's bascially dropped not 2 episodes later. Where not only does he shoot Oscar but Oscar pointed out not only was he abandoning Mantle, but abandoning the rest of Mankind. Wich James just responds calling it an 'excellant philosophical point'.

#rwby #rwby volume 8 #rwby volume 7 #Anti-RWDE #I can finally sleep now...#itsclydebitchsz

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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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I agree with you on most things, but where we differ is our opinion of O/the Blakes. B made the decision to bring O back into his life on his own terms & I love the Pike scene where O faced her actions, but imo the writers leaving out O's abuse of B in s3/4 was a mistake. O's first response to grieving Lincoln was to beat her brother bloody & I don't think it's honest to the story to not address that, especially since O went on to tell B she'd kill him if they weren't related. 1/2

I mean, the abuse was so bad that B thought he was pathetic for still going back to O even when she hated him, & I think it's really harmful for the writers to never address that. I guess what I'm wondering is if you think that's a bad message to send because I don't understand how it could possibly not be. 2/2

I have to say that I don’t interpret that scene quite the way you do. I see it as an assault. But I don’t believe O had enough power to be an abuser there. In that assault scene.

I read O as a character in crisis who was in danger of becoming an abuser, but to me, abuse is characterized by repeated behavior and an abuse of power, which I don’t believe she had. I do consider their relationship to be dysfunctional, but at that point, she wasn’t an abuser yet. And she wasn’t an abuser in s4 either.

I consider her abuse to have begun in the bunker.

She always had the tendency to turn to violence, but violence alone doesn’t make an abuser. She always had the tendency to blame others, but that alone doesn’t make an abuser. Bellamy and Octavia’s relationship was not a normal relationship, and it was not healthy for either of them, and he spent too much time taking responsibility for her actions and she never had to face her own responsibilities.... for very good reasons. And he was literally her jailer. He kept her captive. And he had a hard time letting her go when she was free, but he learned.

But you’ve got an interpretation that you think, for some reason, I should accept, even though I don’t agree with your interpretation. You state that it is abuse without examining it at all, and from then on, you only declare the abuse to be more severe and basically unforgivable. But it all hinges on the interpretation that Octavia was an abuser in season 4. And I understand why people would think that and I’ve never argued with people about it because I think there’s a case to be made for the interpretation and it could CERTAINLY trigger people who have experienced physical abuse INCLUDING the power issues and duration of domestic abuse, so that to them it would represent their own trauma. And that’s a completely fair way to engage.

But you haven’t made the case to me for me to agree with your basic interpretation. I don’t think that’s the message they’re sending, and you know we don’t agree on this topic, but you’re still saying that’s what’s happening even though we don’t agree, and I don’t really understand why you want me to respond to a message you think they’re sending as BAD, when I don’t think they’re sending that message.

You’ve also declared the story to be incorrect and wrong for not addressing your interpretation and I think that’s a mistake. What if you’re wrong about your interpretation, and that wasn’t the story they were telling, but you’re now holding them responsible for the story you think they should be telling and didn’t? That seems like an impossible ask.

And I think maybe they didn’t address what you say because they didn’t really write it with Octavia as “abusive.” Or maybe they did.

Maybe they’re not LOOKING to write a story where they write everything so it’s not harmful. I always saw CL as emotional and psychological abuse. But at least one writer said it wasn’t, although JR said that the world was abusive so the relationships reflected that.

Did I think they did WRONG by not making it explicit that CL was abusive and therefore bad and unhealthy. I do not. That was the story they were telling and as the audience I am not looking for my fiction to moralize for me. And if I’ll be honest, I got more out of facing my discomfort with watching CL and facing my triggers, and dealing with my OWN issues than I would have if the story were tied up with a neat bow saying ABUSE BAD!!!!

Do you think that’s what stories are FOR? To represent only the best of the world and always make it so it makes sense and good guys get good things and bad people are never forgiven because that’s “not healthy?”

I have to tell you, when season 3 happened and I saw Octavia’s behavior, I think i had a very different perspective than a lot of the audience, because I am a mandated child abuse reporter, and I was a teacher and an advocate for teenagers, and when I saw that story line, I saw a young woman in crisis. I saw an abused girl lashing out at the only person she felt safe with. Not saying it was right, but I saw the storyline not just from Bellamy’s perspective, but also from Octavia’s. I understand the cycle of abuse and how the abused can become the abuser and I saw a girl who was heading down that path because of the trauma she had been through.

So when you reframe the story and cast Octavia in the villain role, before she was actually a villain in the story, I’m just not with you.

And I don’t know why you think I should answer your charges as if you are right when I don’t think you’re right.

Your interpretation is not mine. I think you’re wrong in saying what the writers SHOULD do with their story.

If you told me “this is how I feel and this is what I don’t like,” I’d totally be sympathetic.

But instead you’re saying, ‘This is wrong, that is wrong, and that’s a bad message to send so what do you say to that?”

I think commentary where you interpret and discuss and express your feelings and what you like and what you didn’t like and what you think the meaning is? I think those are all good commentaries.

I think commentary where you say that the story is wrong because it doesn’t conform to your idea of what they SHOULD be saying and your view of the world? That is bad commentary.

Don’t like a story? Ditch it. Stop watching. Decide how the story should go and that you have the authority and power to DECLARE what is right and wrong for someone else’s story? And how everyone else should interpret it? That’s not right.

I know people say I think my interpretations are always right and that makes me arrogant but I don’t think i’m always right. I’m trying to UNDERSTAND the story being told, not decide what should be told and complaining when it doesn’t go there. If i’m off, i back track and figure out where. if something happens i don’t like, i try to figure out what it means. if a story doesn’t follow it’s own story, okay then fair enough. narrative flaw. if it DOES follow its own story and you’re pissed that it didn’t do enough on the particular scene you hated? nope.

If you don’t like the message of the story, you should stop watching. If you like some of the story but not other parts of the story, fair enough. But recognize that you just don’t like it all. I was literally triggered by 3.03, do you see me saying it shouldn’t be in the show because it sends a bad message for an abused partner to stay with the abuser? No you do not. Because I recognize that my reaction to the story is mine and mine alone and I am not going to put my emotional response onto the author or the rest of the audience. This is a TRAUMA FILLED story, and if you are offended that there is trauma and violence then you should stop watching and if you don’t, that is your choice and it is not a the fault of the writers that they are writing the show they TOLD YOU they were writing.

I don’t think they SHOULD address what you think they should address. I think they addressed the dysfunctional relationship. I think they addressed the way she treated him and I REALLY liked him standing up to her and saying she was responsible for what happened. As an abuse victim (though not physical) that made me feel good and made me feel like he had transformed himself, regardless of what she did. When he cut her out of his life because she refused to change? That resonated with my experience.

I do not believe that in this world, with Bellamy and Octavia SPECIFICALLY, that the beating she gave him felt like abuse to either of them. They were both known to get into physical fights and sacrifice their own well being in order to...well do various things, pay penance, let off steam, stall for time, entertain themselves etc. I think you’re looking at the story through your personal experience and understanding and have a difficulty understanding the story from the point of view of a person who is different from you. They aren’t like you. Their world isn’t like your world. They don’t look at violence he way you do, and so, when the story dealt with Octavia and Bellamy’s relationship, it didn’t pay the attention to the physical assault that you wanted it to.

Rather than deciding that made the story wrong, why didn’t you ever stop and look at it and wonder what it was they WERE trying to say? What it was they WERE trying to transform instead of just deciding that it failed to address your personal feelings and interpretation. You do know that authors are not inside your head, right? However, you are essentially inside THEIR heads because that’s where the story comes from.

DO I think abusers should be forgiven? If they work for it and prove that they have changed. It hasn’t worked for me IRL but I tried. I think that’s what we’re seeing with the blakes. I think the message they’re sending is different from the message you’re picking up, and I don’t know why, because I don’t know your experience. And because I need to know your experience to understand where you get your interpretation, it doesn’t work for me as an interpretation of the canon.

To be honest. You know I hate doing this anti stuff and I don’t know why you’re bringing your anti-octavia concerns to my blog. I know we’re all bored, but come on.

Why don’t you do nanowrimo and write it out the way you think it should be done. I know people would be interested in it. I personally have another 800 nano words to write today and I shouldn’t even have done this. Maybe I’m bored too. It has been really slow. I also don’t have a problem with you generally so you know I’m answering your respectful question. I just wish I didn’t have to argue with you. I avoid that part of the fandom because whenever I say I don’t agree with you guys someone calls me a racist or an abuse apologist or argues for eugenics or says I’m a misogynist or calls me arrogant. The more I try to explain my position the more names I get called. Oh wait. iT’s the PRO octavia part of the fandom who calls me a misogynist. And arrogant. Frankly both sides are the same.

Like, go ahead and hate octavia. Think they did it wrong. Fine. Leave me out of it.

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bear-bee-dragons · 6 years

Text

My intense Game of Thrones Dragon age Dream after drinking an oyster shot before bed

That time the Inquisitor became a god and married the black Divine

So above is the long story short, if you don't want to read the whole dream.

Holy shimmering shininigans, my friends! You would not believe the dream I had! It was like Dragon age meets game of Thrones. I woke up feeling like the sand man had slapped my subconscious with a LOTR sized epic!

So the world setting is post Trespasser.

- Liliana is the Divine

- Cassandra was her right hand, and leader of the new Seeker order.

- Vivienne was the left hand, and leader of the reformed circles. They weren't compulsory, but available for a safe place should mages chose it.

- the red Jennies and Sera continued to do their amazing thing

- BlackWall was helping rebuild the wardens

- Cullen was training a new wave of Templar who were meant to keep the good for the past, but minus the oppressive and cruel tendencies

- Bull and his charges were aiding the inquisition, making regular visits to Tivinte, to see Dorian and help him with his efforts to free slaves, particularly the elves.

- the Inquisition was made a peace keeping organization absorbed into the Divine's honour guard.

- Inquisitor Lavellan was trying to prove Solas wrong by working to restore and educate the elves, building a kingdom for them to go to and call home, with infrastructure and sovereign rights

- Lavellan is also training warriors, like the arcane warriors of old.

- she was working to transition the role of Inquisitor to Cassandra, so that she could fully dedicate her efforts to the elves.

- even when she seperated from the inquisition she was still very much a part of it and the two groups continued to help one another.

- while all this was happening, she went fade and dungeon diving, looking for a way to protect the veil, or find a way for everyone not to die if it burns down, or just bloody something- all with the help of Morrigan.

- in this one Lavellan drank the well, so Morrigan and she have been working to hear and understand the voices, learning more about ancient Magic's and the truth.

- they use this knowledge to learn from the mistakes of the ancient elvhes, but still make use of their techniques.

- All seems like it is going into a positive direction, but unfortunately, things seemed to go South when the Qunari started moving to invade. Starting with Tivinter.

This immediately starts a whole bunch of discussions. On one hand, nobody wants to ally with Tivinter, on the other hand, they don't want the Qunari to get more power before they spread to their side. Plus, most of the inquisition is sympathetic to Tivinter now that Dorian's efforts are spreading with changing the ways of sacrificial slavery to not.

The freed slaves making their way to the elvhen haven Lavellan is building.

- So as $h#+ starts to hit the fan, there is a disturbance in the veil. Lavellan finds Solas in the fade, he doesn't make himself hard to find, knowing she thinks it could be him.

He explains it is not, and is in fact some of the Evanuris trying to break through, taking advantage of the weakened veil.

He mounful admits that this could force him to speed up his plans.

Then there is a heated argument that goes something like this:(Arbelas was there, like his right hand, and I obviously made it more coherent with my waking mind)

Lavellan: "No!"

Solas: "I'm sorry, Vhenan, but I cannot let the Evanuris break through. It would mean the end of everything, and no one would succeed. It would have all been for nothing."

Lavellan: "Then we stop them!"

Solas: "It's not that simple."

Lavellan: "Some of it is. Like the part where you can't just destroy the world every time you don't know how to fix a problem!"

Solas: "I do not make this choice lightly." He insisted.

Lavellan: "It is not your choice to make. You *don't* get to decide which world lives, and which ones dies. For a man who claims not to think himself a god you have the arrogance of one."

Arbelas: "You would really choose the world of the shems over the world of your people?"

Lavellan: "My people are here, and they will rise by their own strength and perseverance, not by stepping on a foundation built by the blood of thousands and thousands of slaughtered innocence. Anyone who would, does not deserve it. And anyone who would, is not my people."

Solas looked at her with regret. His heart wanted to follow her, the administration he had for her strength of spirit-... And it was true, she had accomplished so much...

Solas: "I am sorry, but there isn't a way you could stop the Evanuris."

Lavellan: "You don't know that."

"I have lived for over 1000s of years, and know the Evanuris more than anyone-"

Lavellan: "You know nothing! You didn't know Corypheus would survive the blast, you didn't know a mere mortal could take and weild the anchor, didn't think anyone could go physically into the fade, you didn't think people could band together and set aside their differences to fight for a common cause, that those people would continue to help eachother even after the danger is passed...that people can change their natures... " She rose her head high again. "I will find a way to stop them, without destroying a world, even if it means I lose myself in the process... You can either help, stand there and watch, but if you so much as even try to break down the veil now, I chop off the grim head of yours and shove it up your fatalistic arse!"

Then she stormed off from the Dream. Before the intense emotions attracted demons.

- So after she cools down, she and Morrigan get chatting, and they inform the other of their additional problem to deal with.

- long story short, the remnants of Mythal hidden in the mirror speak to her and transfer their power to her, with extra knowledge.

This causes some big changes. She grew a magical lyrium arm, her hair bleached all glowy and magicy white, she practically oozed magical energy, much more connected to the fade, almost similar to the Titan and the dwarf who's name I can't remember, but still remains grounded.

- so the big battle comes and she uses her knew elvhen god power to shut those Evanuris back in their, with the help of the United forces and even Solas.

- but there is still the threat of the Qunari. But both Ferelden and Orlais do not want to help Tivinter, believing that the Qunari trying to take over would weaken them, making it easier to fight against them and it would get rid of Tivinter for them. The Inquisition is still finding it difficult to choose because they are a Chantry religious force and the Tivinter Imperium is quite blasphemous, and even though they don't want the innocents within to suffer, they could not justify all those who would die to protect the corrupted.

- Negotiations still take place, especially after they heard of Lavellan's new ancient elvhen magister power.

- long story short, Lavellan agreed to marry the Black Divine in exchange for the freedom of all the elvhen slaves. Her power would protect them against the Qunari.

- from here it gets extra angsty.

- Solas confronts her and is pissed. She is pissed at him too.

Solas: "You sell yourself to the very one who represents everything you claim to despise!"

Lavellan: "Do you have any idea how hypocritical you sound after all that nonsense about walking the fatal path alone. Where you would sacrifice yourself and the world, all I would do is use my own life. And in doing so, my people are free, and a new kindgom is arising."

He let out a rare burst of emotions, anger directed at the situation, at himself, pain, loss, that feeling of helplessness when you realise you don't know all the answers, and can't fix all the problems.

Lavellan: "I only wish you finally had faith in me before I lost my faith in you... But it is too late for that now. What's done, is done and we have to look to the future."

Solas: "No one has seen the power you weild since the time of the ancient elves. They already feared you when you were just the Herald, and now..." He said with earnest worry in his eyes.

Lavellan: "I know... and this will be my burden to bare."

- the Qunari attack and she goes Avatar state God mode sinking the ships using Mythal power to summon dragons and shit. Causing the remaining ships to retreat.

- after the battle even the Tivinter people she saves are shit scared of her. The Black Divine is on a power trip cause he is convinced he married a god.

- after killing all those people her face was stoic, she flew off on a dragon.

- This calmness freaked people out. Especially her friends. Bull, although Talvashoth, was shook from seeing so many of his people killed. Sera was spooked by the magical killing coldness. Etc

- and then people started spreading rumours about her using blood magic for her power and again, long story short, they mournful made a plan to kill her thinking she was taken over by an elvil elvhen god magsiter.

- she feels heartbroken, but knew it was coming. She isn't mad, but goes to her dragon tower thing.

The reason she was cold, was because she didn't want to seem weak infront of all the elf hating magisters. And ended up breaking down when she flew up to her tower.

So, that dream happened, I woke up crying my eyes out,. Vowing never again to drink oyster shots before bed.

#solavellan #solas #solas imagine #solavellan imagine #imagine #headcanon #dragon age inquisition imagine #dragon age headcanon #dragon age imagine #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #inquisitor #inquisitor headcanon #lavellan #solas headcanon

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faelapis · 7 years

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Not su critical, but I wish there was less human episodes and plot's loose ends weren't left forgotten for literal ages. I just, idk, feel like crewniverse wants us like lars or ronaldo too much

i mean, by definition it’s not forgotten if it’s brought up again. the show is just very long-term and demands you have a lot of patience sometimes (which makes it satisfying when it happens, but it can also be frustrating before that).

on the subject of humans: i’m not always super invested, but there’s always a rewarding or clever element. i like connie, kiki and sadie a lot. greg’s alright. the cool kids too. while onion’s not my favorite, his episodes tend to be solid and gives us interesting steven-characterization (onion gang was quite nice, they finally made me emotional about both onion and steven’s loneliness).

i have a buddy who loves lars with all his heart - i know he’s not the most popular character, but i like him alright, too. he’s the kind of teenager who can be a jerk without being a one-note bully. there’s a good post going around about you kinda need to see the humans to feel the payoff of them (spoilers) seemingly getting kidnapped in this next bomb, which will be another interesting mix of the human and magical elements of the show.

the “slice of life” elements also has another important function, which i think is vitally important - in fantasy / sci-fi stories, there’s a lot of Othering. by which i mean, strictly good vs evil escapism where a lot of the time, the enemy is so inhuman they might as well be a natural disaster, not a person. good and evil is often decided by which magical species or alien race you belong to, not who you are as a person.

slice of life is the complete opposite - you have your jerks, but they’re still human. those stories rarely end with anyone being murdered for their crimes and this being portrayed as a “victory”. it’s pretty common that while the main character’s perspective expands, we get to know even those characters who we assumed were just cruel or bullies. everyone has some struggle going on, and the punishments for their crimes are not that they’re irredeemable or die. rather, they’re allowed to actually develop and/or have nuances to them.

both sci-fi and fantasy also have an expectation of war in recent years - there’s the expectation of constant high stakes and people getting killed. the plot is expected to constantly be the focus - we need to find the Thing to fight the Dark Side. we need to get to Place before Evil gets there first. the Chosen One needs to collect all five Orbs, four of which symbolize the four friends, and the fifth one will awaken her own power. the Enemy needs to be Stopped, their reasons are (usually) irrelevant.

on the other side, slice of life is very personal: everything is character-driven, and their motivations is the main reason to watch it. i saw a lot of surprise that “yuri on ice” didn’t have a traditional villain - my response was basically “…well, yeah, it’s slice of life”. that’s kinda how it usually works. especially in anime - you may not get to know every character equally well, and some will be deeply flawed, but no one is sorted into a box labelled “inhuman” or “evil”.

so what’s my point? well, steven universe continuously trains its audience to see slice-of-life elements in the ~magical space conflict. it tells you to see the characters through a ‘human’ lens, even the characters who aren’t human. part of how it does this is by adding surprising amounts of empathy and human solutions - not just to the beach city problems, but to the gem problems as well.

the first time we see two diamonds together - the Intergalactic Tyrants™ who most fanart depict as the final boss overlords all the “less-awful” characters will unite against in a Final Battle? oh, they’re grieving the loss of their fellow diamond. blue diamond is crying. their pearls are there, standing as a reminder of the hierarchy they champion, but neither element ruins the other - they can be sympathetic and deeply flawed at the same time. when it’s towards the people they care about, they even seem well-intentioned. yellow diamond chastises blue for not being a good leader to her people.

part of the reason this seems natural is because the show has portrayed its human characters as flawed, not as a faceless mass of “good people” who must be saved from the evil alien race. so it makes sense it would work the other way around too - everyone’s got their own stuff to deal with, and everyone makes (sometimes massive) mistakes.

we’re expected to see both gems and humans as people. part of this is because of the human side of steven’s upbringing - the old crystal gems are used to meeting allies and enemies, steven is mostly used to meeting people, even if he (like everyone) has his own biases between them, or thinks some of them are “mean”.

despite some people’s consistent insistence that any jerk we’re introduced to is just a villain, that’s it, end of story, steven universe continues to challenge those assumptions. time and time again. that’s part of why it’s so vital (to me) that no one are just killed off or bubbled forever, because the show has laid the groundwork that every life is unique, and suffering is never a good thing.

it can be a trade-off, like how we’re exploring rose’s shattering of pink diamond, and yknow, there WAS a war in the style of sci-fi/fantasy, but the show is critical of that solution. pink’s shattering did not, in fact, end the conflict - her death left countless gems leaderless, mourning and FAR from ‘liberated’ (in fact, many of them hate the crystal gems), and earth was still under the slow threat of the cluster… and how was that cluster solved again? not by force, but by talking to a hostile and vicious little green alien. then getting her help to reach the huge, suffering eldritch abomination in the center of the earth… which was also stopped by communication, not by force.

the human side of the show helps steven cope with gem life, make connections that are important to him, develop his character and fuel his desire to help.

i know some will insist these are unrelated, but i think without steven’s human side, he would really “just” be another crystal gem. an empathetic one, who is curious about people, but not on this level. not one who opposes the idea of not just shattering, but wants to find a way to connect with everyone (as he is like no one and everyone), and has the kind of boundless optimism where he refuses to accept that this is just “the way things are”, or that suffering is ever necessary. everything is always changing on earth, and because of that, steven wants to believe everything can always change.

#steven universe #su theory #long post /#text heavy /#steven #~let's talk about genre~#the cluster #the diamonds #the great diamond authority #Anonymous

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