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smoooothoperator · 1 year

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What A Shame

05: The Winner Takes It All

Driver! Charles Leclerc x Singer! OC (Juliette Morelli)

Exes to Lovers, Forced Proximity, Childhood Sweathearts

Summary: things are starting to calm down? or is it just the calm before the storm?

Words: 3.1k

warnings: Charles being a lost puppy, Juliette being Meryl Streep for some secons (if you understood the reference tell me), flashbacks are on italics

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a/n: hey! you just got a free chapter today because is frstive where I live so that means no classes yay!

Every interaction is very welcomed!!!!

🏎️

I walked out of her room. I had a chance to talk with her, but that didn't go how I wanted.

Just when I thought that we were on the same page, talking about my regrets and that I still love her, she just pushed me away.

"What did I do wrong?" I frowned looking at the ground.

I walked through the corridors going outside towards the garden, needing time alone to think. For a moment I saw my Juliette, the one that used to place a band on my thigh and calmed me immediately. The one that smiled and all worries disappeared. For some minutes I had that woman back with me.

But it was just an illusion.

Julitte Morelli is no longer the little girl I fell in love with, she's no longer the next door neighbors' daughter that came to the same school I was, she's no longer the girl that came to cheer for me during all the karting races.

She's a different woman that had matured because I broke her heart. And I'll never forgive myself for doing that.

"Thank God you woke up in time" Carlos said walking towards me. "Pierre was searching you"

I turned around and looked at him. I don't know what shocked him the most, how red were my eyes trying to hold the tears or that I was a functional man after drinking god knows how many glasses of whiskey last night.

"Mate, are you alright?" he frowned, walking closer to me.

"I talked with her" I said, taking a deep breath, smiling weakly. "And… God. I just hurt her so much"

Carlos looked at me and his gaze changed. Again, he's looking at me trying to show his big brother instinct.

"At least now you know it" he sighed.

"No, no… You don't understand" I said shaking my head. "I read her notebook, her lyrics, her poems… She said she had a lover but in that notebook the only name there was mine"

"Well, good for her that she had a lover! She deserved it just after you fucked up everything" he frowned looking at me confused.

"She still loves me" I said. "She… God, how can someone like her, after everything I did… How can someone like her love me?"

I was questioning everything. Every choice I made came to my mind as a list.

The first contract with Ferrari. Sure, it was my dream. I was the second driver but I had Sebastian Vettel as my teammate. The best mentor I could even imagine.

Then Anthoine died. I fought hard that weekend to make him proud, even if that meant no sleep and study every previous race I could. That meant not sleeping with her in bed. First bad decision.

Then Ferrari showed me the contract of the first driver. Everything I ever wanted was in front of my eyes. Wrong, it was something I dreamed about and I promised her to accomplish it with her next to me. Second bad decision.

Being the first driver meant being a leader, fighting hard. I needed to spend more time on the simulator and on the headquarters, away from home and barely going to see my family and my girlfriend. Third bad decision.

I signed for more seasons with Ferrari, rejecting all the contracts other teams showed me promising things and warning me. I didn't believe their words, I defended my team with all my heart. Fourth bad decision.

I never leaned on her anymore, I got distanced and locked myself in the simulator room and did everything Ferrari told me to do. She showed me support and I never appreciated it. Fifth and worst decision.

But the worst decision I took was pushing her away, breaking her heart just because Mattia told me to do that. The worst decision I made was choosing Ferrari over her. Choosing a team that tortured me instead of a person that loved me.

"She hates me, Carlos" I sighed. "And she has every right to do that. I promised her so many things and broke all the promises"

"For example?" he asked me, leading me to sit on a bench that had views to the vineyard.

"That I would never push her away, that I would let her be by my side… That I would marry her" I sighed. "I even wrote it on the final lines of one of the songs she wrote. That promise sounds everytime I hear it, reminding me of that broken promise"

I saw Carlos nodding, taking a deep breath and crossing his arms. The moment I stopped coming to the paddock with Juliette he never asked what happened. He just stood there, looking at me.

"What happened?" he asked, leaning on the door of my room.

"Huh? With what?" I frowned looking up from my phone and leaving it on my lap.

"Did you leave her in Monaco? Is she sick or something?" he asked worriedly.

"Oh, no. She won't come back" I answered looking back at my phone. "We broke up last month"

He stood there on the door, looking at me, scanning me with his eyes. I didn't look worried, like it was the most normal thing on Earth. I mean, a break up is normal. But he knew that it wasn't normal with us. He knew that something was wrong.

"Just say whatever you want to say" I sighed heavily. "I know that all these years you had many things that you wanted to tell me. Go on"

"Just to resume everything… You are an idiot" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Like, a big one. You were so selfish, so greedy. Just because you were in Ferrari, it didn't mean that you were the king. You are not Michael Schumacher, you are Charles Leclerc. You really believed that the nickname they gave you was your destiny"

I swallowed thickly hearing him talk. But I have to stay still, it was my turn to listen to him, to face the consequences of my mistakes.

"You turned down big opportunities just because you loved red" he said. "You never listened to the warnings, to the friendly comments. You kept defending a team that always let you down always blaming yourself for the mistakes"

"I know" I said, looking at my hands. "That's why I left, because I got tired of them"

"But you did that too late" he frowned. "And don't tell me that Ferrari was your childhood dream. Ferrari was the dream of everybody that was on the grid, only a few of us were lucky enough to dress in the red suit. But you took it too far, mate. You made unnecessary sacrifices for them. And now look where you are. It was about damn time that after all this years you faced her"

I sigh and close my eyes, letting my head fall down defeated. Yeah, it was about time that I faced her and confronted all my mistakes.

"But now it's too late, Carlos" I sighed. "Even if I recognize and accept my mistakes, she won't want me back"

"And you deserve that" he scoffed. "You deserve it for being so stupid ad blind"

"I know" I sighed.

I got up and took a deep breath, brushing my hair and looking inside the building. I have to talk with Valerie, the one that might know how to fix this.

I searched for her around, guessing that she would be somewhere here.

"Valerie… Can we talk?" I asked her once I found her, surrounded by a couple of her bridesmaids in her room to get ready.

"Is it urgent?" She frowned. "I mean… I have tk get the last things ready"

"Please" I sighed, holding the handle of the door. "It is"

She sighed and looked at all the girls around her, understanding the gaze she gave them and walked out of the room, making me move a little to let them pass by.

"What did you want to talk about?" she sighed looking at how I sat on a chair close to her.

"Just… About Juliette" I mumbled. "She will never forgive me, right?"

"I mean… You fucked up pretty bad" she shrugged her shoulders. "But maybe you two need to talk"

"I tried, actually" I sigh. "The first time went pretty bad and the second try… Just when I thought that we were talking peacefully she just pushed me out of the room"

"You know her, Charles-"

"No I don't" I frown. "The Juliette Morelli I met this weekend is not my Juliette, is someone else. And I know I made her like that, you don't have to remind me. I just… I don't know how to talk with this her right now"

"Try to sleep with her" she shrugged. "Make her jealous, mad… Whatever to get her attention. Just don't go to her trying to talk because she will get anxious and get her walls up"

"Are you crazy?! I can't sleep with her, not this way!" I exclaimed, like if I was offended.

"Then make her jealous" she sighed. "I know deep inside her she still loves you. You just have to take your Juliette out of this Juliette"

I took a deep breath and nodded. Make her jealous. Okay, maybe I can do that. Right? Maybe dance with someone at the wedding, talk with them while Juliette is near.

I can make her jealous too, right? Yeah, I can.

"Okay, yeah" I nodded. "Your sister is single? Maybe I can talk with her?"

"Stay away from my sister, you idiot!" she laughed.

I chuckled and nodded, getting up and hugging her. I have to get ready, the lunch will be soon and then after that I'll be too busy.

"Charles, can you come please?" Pierre sighed, calling me.

I nodded and walked towards him, frowning when I saw his worrying face.

"Don't tell me you are having second thoughts, please" I begged. "Because then I'm going to kill you"

"No! No, no, is that…" he sighed. "The string quartet that was going to play in the church… Well, there won't be a string quartet anymore"

"Fuck me" I groaned. "No fucking way! They just canceled on the wedding day!"

"Well… Talk with Juliette" he sighed. "Maybe she can sing?"

"Dude, no" I frown. "She's going to kill me if I do that!"

"Please? Just… God, I don't want Valerie to be sad! She had a list of songs she wanted to be played during the wedding! And there's just enough time for Juliette to try them!" he begged, making me sigh and nod.

"Okay, okay… Give me the goddamn list" I sighed. "Why the hell did they call you, by the way? I'm the one that organized that, I thought they were professionals''

"At least you didn't pay them yet" he shrugged his shoulders, sending me a text message with the list of songs. "That's what happens when you give a chance to someone that is a friend of a friend of a friend"

"Whatever" I signed. "They were friends of my piano teacher"

Pierre looked at me nodding, laughing.

"If you weren't my best man and all your songs weren't depressing I would have asked you to play at the wedding" he joked.

"Fuck you, mate! Those signs have many fans" I laugh punching his arm. "Well… I guess I'll go talk with Juliette… Wish me luck"

"Yeah, you'll need it" he joked, making me roll my eyes and walk out of the room.

"Fucking great" I groan.

I prayed that she was in her room just like before. I prayed that she would let me in even after she pushed me out of it.

"Juliette?" I sigh knocking on her door. "Juliette, I need to talk"

I heard rushed steps and then she opened the door. Her hair was wet, body wrapped with a silk robe. No bra. Fuck me.

"What you don't understand about me telling you that I don't want to talk with you?" she frowned.

"The string quartet won't come to the wedding. I need you to sing, or play the guitar or the piano. Whatever that makes music" I said nervously. "Just… Don't do this for me but do it for Valerie"

She looked at me and I felt little. I tried to breathe deeply, standing there in front of her.

"What songs?" she sighed and I felt myself smile a little. "And you better make sure that there's a guitar or a piano on the church after lunch so I can practice"

"Of course" I nodded. "I'll send you the songs… You still have the same number?"

"Yeah" she nodded and I took a deep breath. "Just give me times and I'll do whatever I can"

"I'm sure you'll do it amazing" I said smiling and I saw that she tried to not smile.

Just relax, please. Smile at me, Juliette. Let me see my Juliette.

"Thanks" she nodded. "I'll search the scores, I prefer if there's a piano"

"Yeah, okay" I nodded, sighing.

She won't smile at me anymore.

🎤

I took a deep breath after closing the door, then I heard the bell on my phone, making me sigh when I read the contact name I never changed.

Charles❤️: Guests entry something simple, whatever you can play on the piano is fine

Entry (bridesmaids and groomsmen first, groom with his mother and bride with her father): A Thousand Years, is around 5 minutes

For the exit Valerie wanted Wings by Birdy

I rub my eyes and brush my hair with my fingers. I'll let him in read, I really don't want to talk to him nor text him. But he kept messaging.

Charles❤️: I'll be on the church trying the keyboard

Just in case you want to come and try it by yourself

I groan and lock the phone, leaving it on the bed. Why did I never change his contact name?

I looked at the phone, the only source of light in the room. A week went by, and he didn't call yet.

"Maybe he's just busy" I mumble.

A week ago he broke up with me. A week ago he came to me and told me he wanted to break up, that we weren't working at all anymore, that I was distracting him.

Of course I didn't believe him. He's stressed with this season and needs to focus, maybe he just had a bad race and needed to get all his stress off with me so he said the first thing that came into his mind.

I waited days for a text, then the days became weeks, the weeks became months. I waited every hour for a text of him telling me that he misses me, that he loves me and that he regrets breaking up with me.

But that text never came to my phone. That text never showed up in my notifications, his name never came again.

I sighed, shaking my head, and got ready to get out of my room.

I wanted to go to the restaurant and eat lunch, I really wanted to, my mind wanted to go. But my legs and my heart had other plans, making me go to the church and accepting the fact that he was there, maybe alone playing the piano.

Music came to my ears when I was near the building, piano notes. He was playing, sitting in front of the keyboard with his eyes closed and fingers working all over the keys. It was a sad song, one that you want to hear whenever something is wrong, when someone hurts you.

"You improved" I said walking closer, trying to keep the sadness that song brought me.

"I'm a verified artist in Spotify after all" he said, stopping the music and looking at me with a sad smile. "It's all yours"

He got up and let me sit on the chair. Something deep inside in my heart wanted him to tell me why he composed a sad song, why he played it right now.

I just want answers.

I sigh and sit on the chair, trying the keyboard, playing the songs I'll play at the wedding.

How ironic it is that the song I would have chosen to be played at my dream wedding is the one I'll sing in my best friend's wedding and with the man that broke my heart, the one I wanted to marry, right in front of me.

"It's nice" I nodded, standing up and turning off the keyboard. "I guess I have to be earlier, just to warm up. See you later"

I started to walk away, but then he held my wrist, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Thank you" he said, and I just nodded.

"This is for Valerie" I said, moving my wrist away from his grip. "Don't get the wrong idea"

"You know that's not true" he whispered, trying to hold my hand. "Juliette, you know that we belong together-"

"Don't" I said, turning around. "Don't make me laugh, is not the right place to lie, you know? On a church" I scoffed, looking around.

"Juliette, please… Let me talk" he begged, those green eyes looking at me with anxiety.

"I don't want to talk about the things we've gone through, Charles" I sighed, closing my eyes. "There's nothing more to say"

"Juliette…" he sighed, and I just asked myself how many times he said my name this weekend.

"You know… I just thought that I belonged to your arms" I said, smiling weakly. "That you were home, that you would be the last person that could hurt me. But I was so stupid, a fool,an innocent girl in love"

I heard Charles taking a deep breath. I just want to let my anger go, all the anger in my heart wants to come out.

"I don't want to talk about this because it makes me feel sad" I whisper. "And I know you hate seeing me sad, so please. Leave me…"

"I was there" he interrupted me, taking me by surprise.

“What?” I mumbled.

"I went, I went to some of your concerts, I followed your award shows, I watched every movie you worked in even if I had to watch you making out with someone else that wasn't me! I was there but I couldn't be there! Because I was so afraid of what could happen, Juliette. I was afraid if someone saw us, if someone saw me. I even wrote on papers everything I wanted to tell you all those times, I still have the papers. I just… Please, Juliette… Let me talk"

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