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stefanmikaleson1864 · 8 months

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0802 Part Two !

Requested by @sirishavenigalla !!! I reallyhope you like this and it was worth the wait ! Thank you for being patient while i tried my best to finish it !

Hi , thank you so much for writing that , I enjoyed reading it. I was wondering if you could write part 2 where the Indian American reader and Jamie get engaged , but things start to get rough, the reader is tired of him being reckless on the field and constantly coming home late . She’s sick and tired of staying up late and wondering when he’s going to come home and worrying about whether he’s going to come back in one piece. They get in to a argument about it , she tells him she can’t do this anymore and stays at her friends place. The next day she stops by at OC on her way to drop off the aloo ( potato) samosas as well as ladoos she made because she knows how much Jamie and the team like them . Elliot notices how upset the reader is and knocks some sense in to Jamie . Jamie realizes he can’t lose her again (he wants to spend the rest of his life with her ) he apologizes and makes it up to her .

Y/N”S POV

Where do I begin this ? Things have gone from bad to good to bad again. Me and Jamie got engaged and we were so happy and so excited

. The thought of spending forever with someone was so exciting. We had so many celebrations and dinner’s and it felt like a whirlwind.

Then the hard parts started. Jamie was going back to being reckless and doing whatever he wanted. It was like he didn’t have anyone to come home to

. Which hurt me a lot. It’s not like I wanted him to become a different person. I just wanted him to act like he cared.

He also was staying out a lot longer past his shift. You don’t know where he was or what he was doing.

The thought of him cheating didn’t cross your mind. You knew that what ever was going on he wouldn’t cross that line ever.

I tried everything I could to get the point across to him because everything I did seemed like it never worked. He just kept saying the same thing over and over again. That this was his life and he needed me to respect that.

The way he was treating you made you feel like you had some regrets about everything. He made it seemed like your opinion didn’t matter and that he was the only one in the relationship.

Something big had to happen in order for things to change. You debated over and over again in your head what that decision would be. You just needed to take some time and clear your head out.

You had a friend who had a spare bedroom in her house. She offered it up to you a couple months of ago when the bad times started. But you didn’t want to leave him not yet anyways.

Sara was incredible. You two meant years ago at a bar when both of your dates stood you guys up. You bonded over everything your passion for work and even your favorite tv shows.

She truly was your sister and you were blessed beyond measures to have her.

Now it felt like you had no other choice. It was either losing him temporary or forever. So while he was at work you packed up your stuff and you left. Taking some things for a couple of weeks.

Packing up your stuff you could feel the heartbreak and the pain. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing down your face. You kept second guessing it every time you put something in your suitcase.

But there was no turning back now and you kept it going, reminding yourself this was out of love.

You were getting the last little bit of stuff ready when you heard a beep coming from outside.

It was time for you to go. So you zipped up the suitcase and slowly made your way out.

Your friend was sitting in her car looking at you with a sad face. She smiled up at you and you walked down to the car and threw your stuff in the trunk.

You made your way up to the front and she reached out and gave your hand a squeeze.

“Hey come on it’s going to be okay” She said.

“Thanks I know” was all you could muster out.

The two of you drove off and the car ride to the house was pretty silent. You couldn’t help but wonder was this the best thing or were you running away from your problems?

“Your doing the right thing you know” Sara said

“How do you know” You said

“Because you need to follow your heart and your smart you know what your doing” She said.

“You always see the good” You said

“Sometimes you have to” Sara said.

The conversation kind of fell flat after that and you just tried to shake your thoughts out and not over think everything like you always do.

Finally after what felt like forever you made your way to sara’s house. It was so beautiful and you were lowkey jealous she lived there.

“Come on let’s get you settled in” Sara said.

You grabbed your stuff out of the car and headed in. She walked you up to your room and it was beautiful a nice big room with a view.

“It’s so beautiful” You said looking around it.

“Thank you now you relax and come down for lunch when your ready” Sara said.

You smiled up at her and she headed out. You took your stuff out and placed it inside the drawers.

After you were done you just sat on the bed and you let a few tears fall. How did you get here you thought.

You just shrugged it off and your stomach growled so you headed down for food. Sara was making lunch just some sandwiches and you couldn't complain food was food.

“Here eat” Sara said placing a plate in front of you.

You sat down on the island and grab the food in front of you. It was a ham and cheese nothing special but you were grateful nonetheless.

You both just started eating in silence. Sara was struggling to find the right words to say to you. She knew no matter what she said nothing was going to comfort you.

After lunch you cleaned up and went straight up to your room. You laid in the bed and watched tv and kept checking your phone. Hoping and praying he would reach out.

You just cried a little bit and a couple hours had passed and you didn’t realize how late it had gotten.

It was getting late so you decided to start getting ready for bed wanting more for the day to end. Jamie didn’t text you or call so you figured he wasn’t home yet.

You got up and got your Pajama’s to change into whe suddenly your phone went off and you raced over to pick it up.

It was Jamie calling you and you couldn’t tell if you were more happy or upset or worried. It was like everything was all mixed into one.

“Hello” you blankay answered the phone.

“That’s all i get is a hello where are you what happened” Jamie yelled into the phone you could hear the panic in his voice.

“I left you a note to let you know I was safe. But come one this can’t be a surprise” You said.

“We could have talked it out not run away from our problems” Jamie said.

“I don’t have a problem you do fix it and figure it out” You snapped back.

You hung up the phone and felt the tears fall down from your face.

This wasn’t on you he was the one who was treating you different and not caring. So why should you. You weren’t going to be the only one putting effort into this relationship.

A few weeks had passed sense you moved into Sara’s house. You honestly had thought you would moved back in now but that wasn’t the case. Neither of you were budging.

You weren’t the one to blame and he needed to see he was the one who needed to fix this and make it right.

Put the other part of you just wanted to reach out and talk to him and clear the air. You just wanted to fix things.

You also felt bad that you were still crashing here. Sara said it was fine and that you could crash as long as you needed.

Right now you were sitting around in the living room when your phone started ringing. To your surprise it was Elliot calling you.

When you saw it you were first confused then the panic started setting in .

“Hey omg is everything okay” You asked all in one breath.

“Whoa slow down it’s okay it’s not like this” Elliot said.

“Look i’m calling to be a mediator” Elliot said.

“What do you mean” You asked taking a breath.

“I mean is your both miserable and Jamie is beating himself up hard and you know him he’s not gonna reach out he’s just gonna sull and he’s gonna throw it away don’t let him” Elliot said.

“I don’t know why can’t he just come to me and say he’s sorry” You said.

“Because he’s afraid he’s been through a lot he doesn’t know how to communicate” Elliot said.

He was right about that Jamie had been through a lot. Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard.

“Fine let me think about it” You said

“Thats all i ask were gonna be here late” Elliot said.

He hung up the phone after that. It did get you thinking about a lot.

You kept wracking your brain what to do so you decided to be nice and bring him dinner well the whole crew.

You made him your famous aloo samoos and ladoos. He loved them he always ate them up in a heartbeat so you made extras.

After you cooked you got a hot shower and finally put on some nice clothes. You felt good and you were excited and nervous to see Jamie.

You gathered up your food and headed out. The drive down your butterflies were going off. But you also felt like anything could go wrong. You just kept replaying every single thing that could go wrong.

It was about a half hour away and when you got there you decided it was no turning back now. You gathered up your food and headed in.

Everyone was sitting around and not doing anything really. Jamie was sitting at his desk with his head down.

Elliot was the first one to notice. He smiled up at you and got up and ran over.

“Hey thank you for coming and even more so for the food we missed you around here” He said he grabbing the food and taking it into the kitchen.

Jamie heard Elliot talking and the smell of the food and got up from his desk. He just kind of stared at you.

“God damn it man go and talk to her” Ayanna yelled out.

“For the love of god she’s standing right there go right now or your fired” Elliot yelled out.

It made both laugh and Jamie walked over to you.

“Can we talk in private” He said quietly

“Yeah come on” you said

“Boo no fun we wanna hear” Jet yelled

Everyone laughed and you both headed out the front door.

“Y/n” Jamie started

“What is going on” You asked looking at him.

He was staring at the ground and slowly his eyes landed on yours. His eyes looked desperate.

“I don’t know i just” Jamie yelled.

“You just what this is what I mean you just kept shutting me out i’m sick of it I can’t take it anymore we can work like this” You yelled the tears falling from your eyes.

That Broke Jamie seeing you cry. He never meant to hurt you like this, he knew you deserved better that what he was doing.

“I just got scared I guess you know things got real fast and I love you and you know what i’ve been through. The easier option was to just push you away and I didn’t want to reach out because I thought you didn’t wanna hear from me” Jamie said honestly.

“You can’t just do that okay. I’m gonna be your wife I love you come to me when your scared or hurt I’m not going anywhere I love you, your the best thing that’s ever happened to me” You said.

“I love you more than life itself I don’t wana loose you ever okay” Jamie said

“You need to get help go to therapy and talk to someone. This can’t happen again” You said honestly.

“I know I will done” Jamie said

He grabbed your face and leaned down and kissed you. The butterflies were erupting in your stomach and you missed this so damn much.

“ I love you” Jame said breaking the kiss and placing his forehead on your

“I love you more” You said

“I love you both now i hate to break this up but were all hungry and the food is warmed up so let’s eat” Elliot said.

You both jumped not hearing him come out.

“We were having a moment” Jamie said

“Yeah we got that but food let’s go” Elliot said.

You both laughed and Jamie grabbed your hand

“Let’s go eat” He said.

He grabbed your hand and you both followed him inside and into the kitchen.

Everyone had plates and the food all spread out. There was chairs all brought in so you could all sit together

“I see everything worked out” Jet said

“Yeah it did” You said

“Good i’m glad i could not stand for another moment Jamie walking around sulking all day it was getting to much” Elliot said.

“Oh well he was sad because you didn’t move in with him” You said laughing.

“Yeah i think he asked but we didn’t get conformation you said no” Ayanna said

“Uh he wanted me to sleep on the right side he knows better” Elliot said.

Everyone laughed at that

“Y/N is a much better partner to sleep with” Jamie said.

“Awww well I don’t know Elliot is nice” You said

“Well you keep bringing this food in I’m yours anytime” Elliot said.

“Nah this mine forever” Jamie said.

“Damn straight” You said.

Everyone was joking and eating and enjoying themselves and you were so grateful Elliot called. It was going to take some work and you and Jamie both had a lot to talk about when you got home.

But he was your person and he was worth the fight for and you were so happy to be coming home.

#jamie whelan #Jamie whelan x reader #Jamie Whelan Imagine #Indian American reader #Law and order organzied crime #Law and order og #elliot stabler #ayanna bell #jet slootmaekers

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sassbewitchedmyass · 1 year

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Chapter 8 of my EO political AU is up!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42953463/chapters/109657635

#olivia benson #elliot stabler #elliot x olivia #EO #bensler #fanfic #my ships #law and order svu #law and order organized crime #law and order svu fanfic #odafin tutuola #john munch #rafael barba #sonny carisi #amanda rollins #jet slootmaekers #ayanna bell #grace muncy #jamie whelan

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 3 months

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So...just watched both crossover finales for SVU and OC.

I have mixed emotions. On one hand, it was nice to get the old groove of Benson and Stabler working together again. On the other hand, I want to look at the shows' writing teams & Graziano and go "Wtf?"

Let me see if I've got this straight... Rollins exited the show and Giddish is no longer a series regular, she left SVU to take a job as a professor, and we had a huge emotional farewell for her, her story was tied up nicely with her and Carisi getting married, etc...only for her not to deny Olivia's assessment of "You miss it, don't you?" And her confirming it by saying she loves her students but it's not what she thought it would be basically. We see that she's pregnant, something Carisi had told Benson a couple of episodes ago, and we also see Carisi becoming increasingly worried about impending fatherhood. I seriously doubt Kelli is coming back to the show but they have Muncey leave and STILL have this conversation happen between Benson and Rollins when it wasn't needed? It nullifies her emotional farewell to the show and all of the happiness fans had for her endgame (her marriage, her kids, her new career) and dilutes the reason for the conflict she initially had with Benson over her leaving.

And then Muncey leaving... Perhaps the actress Molly Burnett had another project, I'm not really sure what happened there. But we have yet ANOTHER spot to be filled on SVU and now also OC as well? I'm all for rotating new faces and stories but Muncey wasn't even here for a year. Should I expect Bruno to go somewhere in the beginning of the next season? Hard to maintain any emotional investment into these characters if they're just going to have short stints like this. TV is not the movies. TV characters stories' are meant to develop over time, that's the medium and type of story telling it has.

Speaking of which, WTF was that with Jamie? Again, maybe the actor Brent Antonello had another project on board, but what a brutal ending!!! And then to have the sociopath saved on top of it??? Also, why build up the relationship between him and Jet all season only to have it end in a phone call ILY that was one-sided due to him not returning the sentiment and that's the last thing he "says" to her ever?

And no goodbye convo between Benson and Muncey? Or Jamie and Stabler? Or even Velasco and Muncey really? He helps her carry her stuff to her car? And just a hug from Fin? That's it? Jamie, who was a practical mirror for Stabler? And while Benson and Jamie both getting hurt might be a parallel, again Jamie was a mirror for Stabler so how does Jamie not saying the ILY to Jet parallel? This just didn't make any sense to me.

And literally last episode, Benson and Stabler say that the almost kiss wasn't the right moment between them, but now they're just "partners"? He wants her to find her way to happiness? Okay, I can get behind that but then you have her watching after him like that? What? And Stabler already told Benson he loved her, so she knows this already, but when he says he was worried when he couldn't see and heard the shot...she tells him how terrible it must have been for him because it brings back memories about Kathy? I'm not saying she's wrong but make it make sense, people. D-E-V-E-L-O-P-M-E-N-T

Which we know they've thrown into the mix already because he tells Benson he's going on a job and she says "Thank you for telling me this time." So wtf was all the rest of this?

Idk if this was Graziano or what, but this episode single-handedly dismantled the Jamie and Jet relationship, the Velasco and Muncey relationship, and yep, the Bensler relationship. Not to mention they sidelined the Bell and Fin dynamic that we should have gotten to see more of.

And I'm going to say it, when is that Chief going to take a hike? Don't get me wrong, I like the actor, but no way in hell has his character gotten any development since he started deferring to Benson and working on himself. It's almost as if his behavior in this SVU finale undid all of that development and turned him into the asshole boss Benson battled with when he replaced Chief Garland (not that I understood why he and Kat were exited from the show back then either, especially when both actors said it was not their choice to leave the show).

I know OC has had a very high turnover for showrunners since Ilene and that has unfortunately sometimes been shown in the writing. But these two finales felt way off, from everything both shows have been building this past season (and even a little before that).

So I say to Graziano - wtf is going on?

#so frustrating #it's like svu oc and 911 dropped acid or something #or got selective amnesia #law and order svu #svuposts #law and order organized crime #bensler mention #jamie x jet mention #muncey x velasco mention #bell and fin mention #this was from when the finales aired #i still love both shows #and now in hindsight i wonder if things got dropped or rushed because they knew the strikes were coming #either way it still blew my mind #svu and oc feelings rant #l&o svu #l&o oc

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lovelinny · 5 months

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Jet and Jamie are giving me old Elliot and Liv vibes and I’m sad because I know how that relationship ends 😭

#law and order organized crime #jamie x jet #jet slootmaekers

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thena0315 · 1 year

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Why did it have to end like this!! This was my favorite OC lineup!! 😭 😭 😭

RIP Detective Jamie Whelan

Badge #91111

#organized crime spoilers #Jamie Whelan #Jet Slootmaekers #Jet x Jamie #Bobby Reyes #Elliot Stabler #Ayanna Bell #Law and Order Organized Crime #Organized Crime #😭😭😭😭

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nacrella · 1 year

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Okay I just woke up into another chaos and I need answers WTH IS GOING ON ARE YOU SERIOUS SVU??

I've been crying since I woke up and I'll keep crying for some more time. Did Muncy actually leave? And your reason is that fans hated her?? Fans just started to like her!! Have you seen the hate for churlish? And what will happen to my dear veluncy 😭 I was expecting them to end up together. How could they do this to us? At the end of the day, all the bensler fans are happy... but we'll never get more scenes of our ship again. I'm sooo mad and sad at the same time. Veluncy was the only reason I kept watching svu but now I'm done with it. I didn't even watch the episode. And frankly, I'm not planning to watch it bc I know I'll cry AGAIN. The only thing they care about is bensler... I think bensler was Dick Wolf's tactic to keep fans hooked on the show for years. I thought that the fans would get what they wanted in the season finale and that veluncy would be paved the way. We didn't deserve this ending... I won’t believe it until Molly explains. I want muncy back! I want my veluncy back 🥺

And the terrible things don't stop there. Whelan's dead? Is he really? I can't get over how they write terrible endings to all my favorite characters. Duarte, Whelan and now Muncy... Whelan didn't deserve such an ending and so much hate. Most of the fans have so much hatred for the new characters and don't give them a chance. Then they say they're glad they're leaving and it drives me crazy. I think we would all be happy if a separate series for the bensler and a separate series for the side characters 🫠

What about those deleted scenes? I don't really care about the deleted scenes after Muncy's departure and Whelan's death, but they deleted the scene with Velasco working with Reyes. Everything I was excited about about this crossover has turned out so badly. Looks like I will keep crying for a while 🤧 Depression mode: on.

I just want to wake up again and see that it was all a nightmare. I’ll never be ready to watch these episodes. Unless Muncy comes back next season saying "hey I'm back", I won't be in a good mood. What will Velasco do without her? She was the only one who really trusted and loved him. As he said, Muncy was his “only real friend”.

I’m also sad about Jet and Jamie… they could make a cute couple 🥺 There might be an open door for Muncy but Whelan is gone forever now. I still don’t want to believe. He was baby Stabler. My tears will become a fountain when I watch the scene he dies (if I can watch it) Svu writers are really good at ruining good things…

I think it’s time for Benson and Stabler to retire.

Let's talk about what's on our minds. None of us seems to be able to get out of this depression for a while. I’m open to any comments 💔

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rqgnarok · 11 months

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more than just a short time — jamie whelan

fandom: law & order organized crime

wc: 2,579

warnings: SPOILERS for the season finale of law & order organized crime, canonical character death, canon mention of hospitals and violence. very self deprecating talk from a disabled character. ANGST. ANGST, ANGST, ANGST. female!reader

summary: Can someone be a widow if their partner only ever planned to propose?

author’s note at the end.

Jamie doesn’t wanna see her.

She’s on her way up, Bobby tells him gently. Jamie wishes the surge of relief that courses through him wasn’t mixed up with the abhorrent need to send her away, be as rude as possible to have her leave the room before she comes to terms with what he’s become.

He doesn’t. Jamie nods at Reyes and licks his lips. He feels his eyes burn when the door opens to (Y/N) walking in, clutching the strap of her purse like it’s a lifeline, eyes wide and terrified and determined all at once. Bobby cups her elbow in silent support as he leaves the room, and Jamie swallows the mean words that try to climb up his throat at the sight of someone else doing what he can’t; comfort her, touch her, be the steadiness she needs in a moment of chaos.

Neither of them speaks as they’re left alone, a bubble of something-not-quite-peace enveloping them and making the outside world a mere blur at the other side of the doors. It’s only them and the ticking clock, the smell of alcohol and disinfectant, and the lack of color and life one expects from this specific wing at Bellevue.

They’d met in a bar around four years ago. Jamie had just made detective and some of his buddies at the four-nine were adamant about at least buying him some drinks in celebration. Just after finishing his first beer, another one had been delivered to the table, the waiter pointing to where (Y/N) was sitting at the bar, smile sheepish and face flushed at being caught.

She’d heard them celebrating and figured there was no harm in inviting the next round. Jamie leaned into her space with a charming grin and said something stupid about being harmed by meeting someone so beautiful and not asking for their name. To this day (Y/N) calls it the worst pickup line she’s ever heard, but it got him a laugh and a date that very same weekend.

It’s been good. It’s been great – the last time Jamie was so infatuated by someone he’d been thirteen and crushing after the next-door neighbor. He fell so hard for (Y/N) and simply kept falling as they moved in together before their second anniversary and started looking for rings a couple of months before he transferred to Organized Crime.

The development of their relationship has been both a whirlwind and the most obvious thing Jamie’s ever lived through. Of course he was supposed to meet her. Of course he fell in love with her from the very first night. He hasn’t been able to imagine his life without her since their first date.

Jamie doesn’t want her here. Jamie needs her by his side. These are two things that have to coexist now, his new reality far from the idea he had for the rest of his life.

He doesn’t tell her to go.

“Hi, sweetheart,” (Y/N) talks first, breaking the silence and the distance between them all at once as if snapping out of a spell. She drops her things in the chair left behind by Bobby and is by his bed in an instant, hands hovering all over him like she’s unsure of what parts of him she can touch without hurting him.

Jamie wills for his fingers to twitch, for his hand to wake the fuck up and reach for her, help her cross those last few inches she isn’t daring to do on her own.

He remains limp against the bed. (Y/N) finally touches him, her fingers against his cheek. It’s enough for Jamie to shudder with a cry, turning his head so he can soak in the touch. She’s warm and steady against his skin and Jamie mourns his situation for the hundredth time in the last hour.

“Jamie,” she says, murmured and weepy. Jamie’s eyes close in agony but it feels too much like being dead already, so he opens them again. The sight that greets him is devastating: his almost-fiánce-never-to-be-wife, asking him for something he can’t give her. The lifetime together he’s been waiting to promise in his proposal has gone up in smoke in the blink of an eye.

It was the right thing to do. Jamie knew– not even the blinding pain that shocked through his nerves had been enough of a distraction to the urgency in Stabler’s voice– that the second Kyle died, the chance to put down Shadowerk would go with him.

There really was nothing he could’ve done. The bullet had reached his spine the moment it entered his body. He was dead the second he walked into that godforsaken camp.

But (Y/N) hadn’t known that when she kissed him goodbye that morning. She’d stood on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck and joined their mouths together, tasting of toothpaste and languidly using her tongue to make him late for work.

“Hi,” he says, voice dry, trying not to sound as miserable as he is and failing.

He’d already canceled a vacation on her earlier that week. A pre-honeymoon, he’d started calling it in his mind, maybe finally the right time to propose. He worries for a ridiculous moment if (Y/N)’s gonna be able to get a refund out of that, fretting terribly for what’ll happen to her after he’s gone.

He knows she can take care of herself but she’s not supposed to have to. Not while he’s alive and breathing.

Jamie’s overcome with how badly he wishes he’d called in sick. That he let (Y/N) drag him back to bed like she almost did and throw caution to the wind, burrow himself in her arms and her laugh, and leave the curtains drawn shut, embracing the safety of the darkness. He was so afraid of letting Bell and Stabler down, of having Reyes go out there without someone that cared for him watching his back, and where did that get him?

Without his body. Without a future with the love of his life.

The love of his life who can never find out what he asked of Bobby. Even if she loves him enough to do it for him– Jamie loves her too much to even ask. He won’t do that. He’s already planning on making her a widow, having her do it is just cruel. He made a promise a long time ago that he wouldn’t let the job make him someone he didn’t recognize and he’s not about to start bailing on it now.

Can someone be a widow if their partner only ever planned to propose? Jamie almost suggests they get a priest in here and use Bobby as a witness, but (Y/N) deserves better than that. And she’ll find it someday, Jamie’s sure of it, with an accountant or a banker or someone with a boring job who doesn’t leave the house to get shot at and get paid too little for it.

“My day sucked,” he jokes weakly despite the inner monologue that’s rushing through his brain, trying to get her to smile and his voice cracking with emotion in the process. (Y/N) struggles with it but she manages an upward tilt of the lips, eyes wet.

His pretty girl, so fucking resilient.

“I bet,” she tells him. She doesn’t stop touching him, which Jamie appreciates as much as he does the effort at light conversation. “Office coffee was that bad, huh.”

Jamie’s laugh turns into a sob so quickly that he reasons it wasn’t really ever a laugh. His fragile good humor is gone in an instant, lip wobbling and features scrunching in agonized despair.

“I’m sorry,” he cries earnestly and without restraint for the first time since his mom died, probably. He shuts his eyes but it does nothing to stop the flow once it's started and (Y/N) can’t wipe all his tears fast enough. “We should’ve gone on vacation, I shouldn’t have gone to work at all, I’m so sorry–”

“Hey,” she cuts him off, equally as devastated. “Honey, it’s alright, it’s okay. You were doing the right thing, there’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

He keeps apologizing anyway, fervently. Jamie isn’t strong enough to stop when (Y/N) starts to cry, too. She just holds him as best she can while they cry together. “You don’t deserve this, you don’t need less than half a–”

“You’re alive,” (Y/N) insists fiercely through tears. Jamie doesn’t tell her how this can’t be much of a life. “You came home to me, baby. That’s all that matters to me, you understand?”

Jamie hums an affirmative and keeps crying, and (Y/N) keeps soothing her fingers over his cheeks, his mouth, his temple, his hair. Jamie’s tremendously grateful for her, even if the need to make himself small and let (Y/N) hold him will never be satisfied again.

“You’re not half of anything,” she continues to reassure him without room for discussion. “You’re my everything. My whole entire life, Jamie–”

“I kept thinking of you,” he weeps, his breaths coming fast and hurried without the usual feeling of his abdomen pulling with the force of his grief. “All the time I’m out there, all I do is think of you, and I thought this time, I– I– I–”

She says his name helplessly, pressing a fervent kiss to his temple while some of her tears fall into Jamie’s hair, her breath stuttering. (Y/N) wraps herself around him as best she can without disturbing his injuries and the machines that are keeping him alive, leaving her in a most awkward position she doesn’t complain about once. Jamie’s love for her is too strong to be contained inside his body.

“I love you,” he tells her after enough time has passed that Jamie’s almost certain he won’t break into another sob. His voice quivers but that’s about it, and he thinks he’s allowed. (Y/N)’s fingers tremble against his temple. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” she answers without hesitation, her voice a little shaky, too. She scratches at his hair and Jamie’s shiver is cut down to his neck. “I love you, baby, and we’re gonna be alright. We’re gonna be okay.”

“I don’t think we’ll make it to Alaska,” he tries not to scoff in disappointment because he knows (Y/N) won’t like it, and she proves him right when she purses her lips like she does when trying to convince herself not to slap him in the back of the head.

“Don’t be stupid,” she says, but it’s so, so soft it sounds like a term of endearment. Idiot, like honey, sweetheart, baby . “I don’t care about that. We can get shitfaced and take pictures with your thumb on the lens at home, you know.”

“Hey,” he says, trying and failing not to think about wedding rings at the bottom of champagne glasses or hidden in chocolate mousse cakes. He’s always made fun of people who think proposing with a choking hazard is a good idea but Jamie now aches for that stupidity, that normalcy that won’t ever be for him. He refuses to propose in a hospital room when he can’t even put a ring on her hand himself. “We probably won’t get a refund out of that.”

“That’s okay,” (Y/N) soothes. Nothing is, but Jamie lets her try. Maybe she’ll have better luck at pretending than he did. “I don’t mind.”

They fall into silence and he almost goes to sleep under her hands, pacified to unconsciousness half due to exhaustion and half due to her presence: the calm in the middle of the storm. Jamie isn’t mad anymore, can’t be when she’s got him wrapped around her finger.

“I love you,” he can’t tell her enough, sleepy and quiet. The rush of air she lets out is the only indication that (Y/N) heard him.

Breathing’s getting harder, already a chore, and now the thought of the device running out of batteries or accidentally disconnecting from where it's keeping him alive makes him anxious. (Y/N)’s worried, he can tell even if she almost never voices it because she refuses to make him feel guilty about doing the job he loves. Jamie wishes she’d tell him off, scream and cry at him and not bottle it all up. It’ll only be worse when he–

He says, "Want every day with you," with sharp breaths between each word because he's too exhausted to say I want to spend the rest of my life with you. There's a ring in my locker at the station that I've been waiting for the right moment to give to you. He doesn't say, every moment is right when we're together and I'm sorry I'm only realizing that when I’m unable to breathe on my own.

(Y/N) smiles, shaky and watery, and the most gorgeous sight Jamie’s seen in his life. She knows, and Jamie knows she does. The knot that had built up the whole time he'd struggled to stay awake, waiting for her in this hospital bed, loosens.

It’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be alright, even if she’ll miss him. She’ll grieve and move on knowing, without a doubt, that Jamie loved her like he’s never loved anyone before. It’s enough for him. He can only hope it’s enough for her, too.

“Honey,” she rouses him gently from an accidental slumber hours later, the sun that gave little light to the room now gone behind the horizon, (Y/N)’s fingers still caressing his face. She looks exhausted and worried and the most beautiful Jamie’s ever seen her. Her smile is brittle and shaky. “Your dad’s here. I didn’t want to wake you up, but–”

“‘s okay,” he tells her. “Can you give us a few minutes?”

“Sure,” she says softly, hesitation clouding her features only for a second before she’s leaning in for a kiss, firm and lingering. Jamie exhales into it, something in his chest unfurling at the touch. He hadn’t realized they hadn’t kissed yet. “I’ll bring him in.”

“Wait,” he says, managing a boyish grin with lidded eyes. “Do that again.”

(Y/N)’s smile is bright, and Jamie’s glad to taste it when she goes in for another kiss on his mouth and then moves on to his cheek, his nose, his chin, his forehead. “Insatiable.”

“You love it.”

“God help me, I do,” she pats his chest carefully. “Let me go get your dad before he wonders what we’re doing in here.”

“Okay,” he says quietly, and once last time because he can’t help himself. “I love you.”

(Y/N) turns from where she already had one foot out the door, expression tender. “I love you back. See you in a minute.”

Later, after crying in the safety of his dad’s presence like a little boy and saying his goodbyes, Jamie closes his eyes as his breaths begin to recede. The shrill sound of his heart monitor, the panic that takes over the room when he stops breathing, he’s aware of none of it.

Behind his lids isn’t death, but the Northern Lights and (Y/N) underneath them, showered in colors and smiling at him like she did that first night in a bar, young and unknowing. She offers him her hand and Jamie takes it. Nothing hurts.

________

this fic snuck up on me ngl but the season finale fucking wrecked me. i’m still thinking about writing a fix it.

short (considering my standards lol) and somewhat sweet? hope you enjoyed and if u want tell me what u think!

masterlist / ao3 / buy me a coffee

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notafunkiller · 7 months

Text

wait for hours

Summary: Bucky and you have a small fight about making him attend a business dinner on your one-year anniversary.

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x secretary!reader

Warnings: 18+, oral (f receiving), org@sm denial/edging, teasing, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 1.9K

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: I wrote this blurb based on @marvelouslizzie’s prompt: “You want me to put it in you, don't you?”

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

You know he is mad. You could sense it right away at work and also in the car. But you don’t regret it, it had to be done.

“Why did you even bring me here if you aren’t gonna talk, James?”

Your head is spinning only from the way he’s pacing around.

He puffs. “You wanna talk now?”

“You are such a kid,” you say, sighing.

“I am the kid?”

You’re surprised by how high his tone is.

“Why are you so bothered? I did what I needed to help you.”

“I don’t care! You knew tonight is off limits. It was supposed to be about us!”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm down a little. You don’t want to fight. You never do when you disagree, and this is silly.

“We can do it another time. We both know how important this is, so why are you so mad?”

“Because this is our one-year anniversary and we always…”

You sigh, standing up. “He wouldn’t have waited, and I don’t care if you think: then his loss. This is your company! You need this investment.”

“You made this decision for me!”

“Good,” you snap. “Someone had to, I wasn’t going to let you waste a great opportunity just cause you are not in the mood for another business dinner.”

He steps toward you so fast you don’t even realize for a second. “Yeah, sorry I am not in the mood for a business dinner when I could be buried inside my girlfriend in our private jet as we fly to Europe.”

“Who said I wanted to go in the first place?” You look him in the eye, challenging him to answer you. You’re not gonna let him intimidate you. Not that he wanted that.

“Then I could have made you come on my tongue after dinner right here.”

You roll your eyes. “All you can think about is sex.”

“All I can think about is you, but you decided to-”

“To do the right thing.” You interrupt him immediately. He’s so stubborn sometimes!

Bucky sighs, bringing his hands to your cheeks. “Are you bored with me?”

What. The. Fuck.

“Are you drunk?” You ask despite knowing it’d be impossible. But how can he ask that?

“Are you bored of me, honey? Is this why you keep me a secret?”

“Bucky!”

“I wanted to make it official like what? A thousand times?”

You sigh, bringing your hands on top of his before leaving a kiss on one of his palms.

“I am not bored of you, Jamie. But work is work. He knows-”

“I want everyone to know!”

You understand, but at the same time there are more consequences to consider before making the decision to get public. “Know what? That you’re fucking me?”

Now this is a thing you regret saying. The expression he has on his face breaks your heart.

“That’s all you think this is?”

Oh, you fucked up! This is not what it is, and you know it. You both had been trying to fight it off, to ignore the tension for over a year. Until you just couldn’t anymore and gave in.

It was clearly more than sex from the start. He didn’t even try to seduce you, and you were only going out on dates for weeks. And if he wanted sex, why he’d make such an effort when you’re sure he can get a girlfriend or a one-night stand or even escort services. He didn’t try to buy you. But would the office understand?

“No, James.” You kiss his other palm, trying to show him how you actually feel. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“When would it be, then? Or would it ever be a good idea?”

He’s more than upset now, his chin is trembling and the way he keeps staring at you makes you want to cry.

Such a horrible situation…

“When I’ll change my job,” you murmur, stroking his cheeks. “This way, they wouldn’t call either of us names and your reputation would-”

“I don’t care about it, okay? About what they’d say about me, and I certainly wouldn’t let them talk shit about you. What you did for the company is amazing.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “I am your secretary, Bucky. My job is to please you and do the best to assure the company’s success.”

“Fucking bullshit!”

“Hey, it’s true. You know very well how people would talk about both of us, and rumors would spread, and sure, men would pat you on the back at first, but some might hate the scandal. And I would be treated like a...” You don’t want to finish your sentence; well aware he knows what you mean. “You cannot protect me from this no matter what you do. And you cannot ruin your company! Do you want to do this just for public claim?”

“I want to hold your hand so badly everywhere...” He sighs, moving his hands from your face to his own hair, pulling it a bit too harshly. “I want to be able to leave with you home and not make Sam wait for you on the parallel street.”

You know and you feel the same way. Sometimes you find yourself imagining how things would be if you gave in and just not care about it, but there’s about so much more than you. You know how important his partnerships are, how hard he actually worked. He might not be a billionaire, but he is very rich and affords many things. He pays everyone well, including you, as wrong as it might sound.

“I’m gonna think about it, okay? I love you so much!” You take a step closer, getting on your tiptoes so you can kiss him a little. “I am sorry for making you feel like this, you’re not my dirty secret. But I don’t regret saying yes to this meeting. You weren’t going to agree, and we both know this is really important. We can celebrate later or tomorrow night. We can go anywhere you want. Just know I love you.”

Bucky says nothing for a while, his face emotionless as he thinks about what you said.

“I love you, too. Now I want you to get your clothes off and get on the bed.”

You raise your eyebrows at the change in his attitude. What the fuck!

“What?”

“Don’t act as if you don’t want it. You were teasing me all morning. And during the breaks!”

You cannot even deny it because it’s true. Yesterday you were both too tired to even eat when you got home, let alone have sex, and you woke up really horny.

“Don’t you need to get ready?”

He smirks in that way that you hate so much, and you sigh.

“You got one minute, baby.”

You quickly take off your shirt and pants before unclasping the bra and placing it on the nearest bedside table. You let on your panties, eager to see him tear them off as you sit on the edge of the bed.

But he, surprisingly, doesn’t do that after he drops on his knees in front of you and spreading your legs.

You get on your elbows just to watch him. He smiles cheekily, happy with the extra attention you give him, as he hooks his finger around your underwear and moves it to the side, holding it there as he starts to lick your slit.

“Yesss!” You throw your head back, knowing how much you’re going to enjoy this.

He’s a little too slow compared to the usual, but it still feels good, especially when he brings his tongue to your entrance.

You manage to hold back for a while, not letting your hips move until you realize he doesn’t intend to change the pace. With your fingers through his hair and another hand grabbing the sheets, you try to get his tongue inside you faster. But he doesn’t want that either, so you pull his hair a bit harder out of frustration.

“If you want it slow, at least use that tongue on my clit.”

He snorts, amused and does what you told him without protesting. But instead of feeling better because he’s licking your clit, it’s even worse.

You both know that you hate when he’s doing it slowly, so that’s annoying you even more. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose.

You try to tilt your hips more, showing him he needs to hurry up, but he places his right hand on your tummy and pushes your back to the bed again.

“Come on, Bucky! What is this?”

He smiles against your clit and suddenly starts to lick faster. And faster. And faster.

“Yess, yess.”

You pictured him like this before you got together. You imagined countless of scenarios with him eating you out on his desk or on the couch in his office, in the car or in the meeting room. You did that so often it became a habit, but you didn’t expect it to be that good. And he’s somehow getting better every time. Even when he’s torturing you.

When he starts sucking on your clit, though? You feel on fire. You let out the loudest moan before grabbing his hair.

“Yes, sooo c-close. Gimmie a finger, Jamie.” His eyes are on you as you speak. “Please!”

He stops sucking just to breathe on your clit, making you shiver. “Now why would I do that?”

You open your eyes confused.

Does he mean he wants to fuck you?

You’d love that, truth be told, so you push him away a little and get on your ass on the bed. You immediately move your hands down, trying to find his bulge over his pants.

Yeah, you totally missed that.

“I guess foreplay is done. You can fuck me now.”

Bucky laughs. He laughs! Then he brings his hand to cover yours and helps you get a better feel of his cock. Fuck, he’s so hard!

“You want me to put it in you, don’t you?”

“I’m still close.” You whine, surprised by your own body reaction. “Just get inside me, okay?”

“Why would I do that, honey?”

You give him the most confused look ever. “W-what?”

“You’re not gonna come tonight. Or well, until I get back from my meeting. Not on my fingers, not on my mouth, and definitely not on my cock. “

The world is spinning around you. He’s not serious is he.

“Aww, what’s wrong? Who’s the one thinking only about sex now?”

“You’re joking, right?”

He cannot do this. He can’t...

“I should get ready for the meeting.” He tries to get up, but you grab his hand.

“Are you punishing me for doing the right thing for the company?”

He senses you are close to tears so he leans in to kiss your forehead. “No, baby, why would I punish you for that?”

“I don’t know...”

“Maybe this is for thinking our anniversary is not important for me” He cups your face. “But I promise tonight will be great.”

You can’t even say anything, squeezing your legs together, still turned on.

“No touching either. You don’t get to come until I come back, okay?”

You sigh, pouting. “I’ll try, daddy.”

Bucky bites his lip before he kisses you properly. “You won’t try, you will do it for daddy, okay?”

You nod, staring at his chest. “Can I help you clean?”

“As much as I’d love that, if we go in the shower together, I don’t think I’ll leave.”

Damn it... now you have to wait for hours.

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