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808airsoftbros · 1 month

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The Half Engine (Blackpink)

Author: Just a teaser hint for my upcoming Halloween oneshot. If you want to see more of my stories check out my Masterlist

The Original Half Engine story was by: [thebogieboy] (His Youtube) Genre: Crossover/Horror

Author's POV

It was a ordinary day on the island of Sodor, the engines had been working hard all day on their branch lines delivering passengers and goods across the island.

They were all looking forward to a goodnights long rest at the sheds, everyone that was except for James.

"How long are we going to be kept waiting? At this rate, will be home by nightfall," James sighed as he was waiting at the station.

"Have no fear, James, I'm confident will be back home in no time!" His driver assured but that didn't help ease his mind one bit as he had already seen the sun about to set down soon.

But it didn't help the fact that the weather forecast that there will fog this evening meaning their visibility is limited and travelling down the tracks will be dangerous.

Thankfully for James, he didn't have to wait much longer as his last passengers boarded the coaches.

James blew his whistle as he puffed out of the station to the next, the trip lasted about a couple hours and by the time he shunted the coaches into the yard, it was dark and foggy as predicted.

Despite Jame's headlamp shining brightly, he could hardly see a thing ahead of him so he had to travel down the line cautiously to prevent him from hitting anything.

Despite the Driver and Fireman being experienced navigators, they were eventually lost in the fog, and they didn't know they travelled down into a abandoned siding on the line.

"Stupid fog... I can't see a thing..." James muttered as he puffed down the line.

"Yeah, can't see anything in the distance either, no signs, nothing I'm afraid..." His driver replied and sighed.

"In that case, why don't we just get rid of these unused..." James paused as he saw something that caused his boiler and firebox to freeze.

James applied the brakes slowly putting him into a halt, the fireman and driver were confused and asked what he had stopped for.

However, James couldn't mutter a word out of his mouth as he shook nervously and the Driver got out of the cab to see what was wrong and they gasped as they caught the sight of a scrap engine.

"W-what the bloody hell?! What kind of sick person would scrap an engine like that?!" The driver exclaimed as they couldn't believe what they were seeing.

It was indeed a sorrowful sight to see the empty soul of an engine lying on the side but this was different... The engine was cut perfectly in half without error.

Half of the boiler, cab, funnel, and whistle can be seen, and they wonder how this would be possible as no skilled scrapper is capable of such a thing.

"I don't wanna know! Get me out of here! Get me out of here!" James demanded as he was too terrified to linger any longer.

The crew were quick to agree, they boarded into his cab and James reversed out of the abandon line as fast as his pistons and wheels can take him.

Back at the sheds, the engines were finally able to rest after a long day of work, Sir Topham Hatt arrived to deliver some news to the engine but they had to wait as James was absent.

Finally, James arrived back at Tidmouth sheds and the others were a bit worried and curious as to where James has been all this time as it was late in the night.

"Ah, James, so glad you can join us," Sir Topham Hatt greeted but James didn't reply as he was still too shaken from what he had seen earlier.

"Anyway, onto the point, I've come here to inform you all that we will be visited by celebrities from Korea, so I expect all of you to be on your best behavior, we do not want to give a bad impression, do we? Gordon, I'd like you to transport them from Vicarstown to Tidmouth Station, there we will begin the tour," He explained to the engines and they were quite intrigued and excited as they never had celebrities coming from across the world.

After that, Sir Topham Hatt got into his personal car and drove away from the sheds.

The engines chatted a bit about tomorrow until they eventually fell asleep except for James who could hardly sleep as he had a dreadful feeling that something or someone was watching them from the distance.

The night went on without any incident, James hardly got any sleep but still carried on with his duties as Gordon coupled to the express coaches and made his way to Vicarstown to pick up the guests along with Sir Topham Hatt.

When they arrived, Gordon saw a group of four young women, they stared at him with such curiosity and fascination that it almost made Gordon nervous.

"Ah, good morning, girls, I hope you all had a safe and pleasant trip! It's such a pleasure to have you all come to my railway, my name is Sir Topham Hatt II, and I'm the second generation running this fine railway. This is one of my prestige and trustworthy engines, Gordon, he will be taking you all to Tidmouth station, and we will begin our tour from there!" Sir Topham Hatt greeted to the four girls and they all smiled.

"Thank you for having us, sir, my name is Jisoo, I'm the eldest, and this man here is my manager," Jisoo introduced herself.

"I'm Jennie, I'm the second oldest, surely, you've once watched our music videos?" Jennie introduced herself with a hint of pride.

"My name is, Chaeyoung but everyone calls me Rosé, it's a pleasure to meet you~," Rosé introduced herself with such elegance in her voice.

"Hello, I'm Lisa, the Maknae of the group! This railway is such a nice place!" Lisa introduced herself as she admired the scenery and countryside.

After the introductions, the girls and the Controller boarded onto the express coach and Gordon puffed out of Vicarstown and began the journey to Tidmouth station.

Y/N's POV

As I finished doing my morning routine, I put on my work uniform, put on my coat, I put on my shoes, and walked out of the dormitory to Tidmouth sheds.

It was early in the morning at five am, I yawned a bit as I greeted Thomas as I was his driver.

"Good morning, Y/N, I heard we're getting visitors all the way from Korea!" Thomas greeted and I nodded.

"Yeah, I heard about it, they're a Kpop group called Blackpink, I doubt you heard of them... Ya know, since you're an engine," I replied.

"Oh, you'd be right, who is Blackpink and what is Kpop?" Thomas asked as he was slowly generating steam in his boiler.

"Kpop is a music genre, it's quite popular nowadays, can't go one day without hearing one of their songs, and they are talented singers and dancers, I watch them some time," I answered as I was shoveling coal in his firebox getting ready to start the day.

Then we heard a loud whistle and I recognized it to be Gordon as he rolled onto the rolling platform and joined the rest of us in the sheds.

I was wondering what was going on as Gordon should be heading out to take the express coaches by now but I was shocked to see Blackpink themselves.

They were walking with my boss Sir Topham Hatt, and they all stared at the engines with wonder and fascination.

"Good morning, everyone! I'd like to introduce you all to Blackpink, and they have come here for a tour around the island as I announced last night! To start things off, I'd like you all to introduce yourselves!" He instructed.

Henry, Emily, Thomas, Percy, and Edward all introduced themselves to the girls and letting out loud whistles as they generated enough steam in their boilers.

All except for James who still looked uneasy but he snapped out of his trance and introduced himself giving a fake smile trying to hide something.

"Wah, it's such a pleasure to meet you all! I heard so much about this place and it's amazing to be here in person!" Lisa replied as she walked up to the engines.

"Now, Thomas, Y/N, and Elliot, I'd like you to give them the tour around Sodor. Toby will be taking over your branch line for the day, that will be all!" The boss ordered us and we nodded.

"Yes, sir!' Thomas acknowledged and the controller got into his car and drove away leaving us alone.

I showed the girls inside of Thomas's cab, I let them blew the whistle a few times, but while I showed them around, I noticed James looked uneasy and so does the others.

"James, is everything okay?" Edward asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Oh, it's nothing..." James tried to play it off but it wasn't going to deter Edward one bit.

"Well, if I don't know any better but is quite rare... Poor little James has seen a ghost," Gordon teased.

Henry and Gordon laughed but the others remained silent including Y/N and the Blackpink members.

"I-I did see something..." James softly spoke up and the two stopped laughing.

"And what is that?" Henry asked in an amusing tone.

"I saw a scrap engine..." He answered and their smiles dropped to a confused to look.

"A scrap engine? That's it? I understand it's rather distressing to see those poor souls but we've all seen them plenty of times yet you never once looked this disturbed," Gordon pointed out but James sighed.

"T-this one was different, the engine was cut in half without a fault... Never seen anything like that before," James mentioned and the others were deeply disturbed.

Myself, Jisoo, Lisa, and Rosé, we're also disturbed about this, except for Jennie was very skeptical about the whole thing and wondered if they were just hallucinating the whole thing.

"James, you must've seen a victim of... 'The Half Engine'..." Thomas replied to him with a nervous look on his face.

"Thomas! This is no time for teasing!" James angrily growled.

"I'm not teasing you! I know exactly what happened!" He assured and Edward insisted on telling us.

Looking at Jennie's skeptical expression, I thought she wouldn't bother listening but she stayed and paid attention to Thomas anyway.

"A long time ago, when Sir Topham Hatt I was running the railway, it was the time when the North Western Railway was founded, many engines had been brought here to help including myself and others. However... there was one engine that was different," Thomas paused as he recalled the tale.

"Something horrible went wrong with her construction, she only had half a face, and the other half being her smokebox door, we could hardly understand what she was trying to say, maintenance on her was a nightmare to watch or listen to, and through all of this... She was in immense excruciating pain, every night we heard her crying and pleading for the pain to go away, it was so horrid that many of us could hardly stomach it," Thomas explains the whole story and the girls were in deep shock about this and again deeply disturbed.

Lisa and Rosé looked at each other with fear written all over their faces and Jisoo didn't say a word but Jennie was skeptical as ever.

"But the nastiest of us and even some of the crews saw it as nothing but a joke, this would all boil up inside of her and one day, her behavior changed for the worst... She became more violent, snapping at everyone she came across, even those who pitied her, and to make things worse, at night, she traveled down the sheds and down a heavily forested line, and when she returned, she swore that we would all perish on this railway, in her gargled barely identical speech, and we began to believe she was possessed and deranged in all her suffering, seeking any ways to get rid of her deformity,"

"Eventually, the Director of the Railway had enough, and he ordered another engine to take her down the smelter yard to be cut up for scrap, at the same time, myself and another engine were heading home from work, but as we made our way down the line, we saw smoke and multiple sounds of fire engines, we rushed to see what happened, and there was a sight I'll never forgot..." Thomas again paused.

"We never saw her again after that day... But rumors spread from workmen about noises on foggy nights, they all told us the same thing, it sounded like someone screaming in pain, and now it seems like her spirit still roams around the railway to this day..." Thomas finished his tale.

Again, the others were silent as the grave, deeply disturbed and terrified of this, the girls were shivering as they looked down the line wondering if perhaps the Half Engine was watching them.

"Pft. What a load of rubbish! Come on guys, you can't be seriously believing this is all real?! It's fake! Just like every other folklore tale! James, what you say may have been a hallucination!" Jennie exclaimed but the others didn't seem to agree with her.

"Jennie, I'm being serious here! It's all real and I was there!" Thomas warned her but she scoffed.

"Yeah, sure... Almost as real as any other scary ghost engine story!" Jennie sarcastically replied and Thomas sighed in defeat.

But little did Jennie know was that something was lurking in the shadows of the yard, watching the others before disappearing in the wind.

I swore I caught a glimpse of an engine down near the shunting yards but it vanished before I got a good look but I have a bad feeling about the whole situation especially for Jennie's safety.

We continued on the tour as scheduled, the camera crew and the girls were vlogging around the island as Thomas, Eliiot and I, were travelling down the main lines.

When it was getting dark, we head down back to the main line and concluded the day as we got good footage for their Youtube channel, and we arrived back to Tidmouth sheds.

After I finished putting Thomas into his designated shed, I guided the girls to the dormitory where they'll be sleeping for the rest of their stay.

"For a railway dormitory, it sure is nice..." Jisoo complimented.

"Yeah, not bad, right? Provided a place to stay and get paid, can't really beat that," I replied and chuckled.

"By the way, Y/N, is the Half Engine, real?" Rosé nervously asked and I sighed.

"If I'm being honest... That is up to you to believe what is real and what is not," I spoke to her with a solemn tone and she gulped.

Not wanting to intrude any further, I bid them goodnight and I went back into my own dorm to get some rest for the night.

Jennie's POV

As we settled into our dorm, the girls were getting ready for bed and go to sleep but I wasn't tired yet as I wanted to find out myself if the story of the Half Engine is real or just made up to scare us.

Regardless, I don't believe in the thing but I'm willing to give it a shot, I grabbed my phone and flashlight.

I snuck out of the bedroom without waking up the girls as I quietly exited the dormitory, the night was foggy and quiet giving an uneasy ambience.

Despite all of that, I pressed on as I made my way into the heavily forested line where the Half Engine is said to reside.

I pop up my camera app on my phone beginning to record my investigation.

"Alright, Blinks, this is the investigation of the legend of the Half Engine, where it says is a ghostly engine with half a face and the other half being her smokebox door. To be honest, guys, I'm not too sure about the whole thing, so let us find out!" I started the recording as I ventured down the foggy line.

Ten minutes into my mischief yet dangerous investigation there was nothing out of the ordinary that appeared other than some owls and occasionally deer.

Eventually I was starting to grow bored and figured this whole thing was a waste of time and began pondering if I should just head back to the dormitory.

"Aish, you know what Blinks, I'm tired so this concludes-" She was cut off when she heard a loud banshee like scream causing her to freeze.

"U-uhhh... D-did you hear that...?" She nervously asked the camera and again the scream was heard but this time it was louder.

Then I heard a faint sound of puffing of a steam engine heading my way along with the banshee-like scream.

"W-whos there?! This isn't funny?! Thomas is that you?!" Jennie called out but there was no response.

But at the corner of my eye, I looked into the fog and my stomach dropped as I saw a rusted engine charging at me. But her face was skeletal and the other half being her smokebox... IT CANNOT BE!!!

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" I screamed in terror as the deranged engine was charging torwards me and was about to run me over.

I closed my eyes standing still then I heard someone shouting out my name as I was trembling and frozen in terror.

"Jennie?"

"Jennie!"

I opened my eyes fearing to see that ungodly engine but it was long gone and I sighed in relief when I saw Y/N with Thomas with worried looks on their faces.

"Are you okay, Jennie?" Y/N asked as he shined his lantern in his hand.

"I-I guess..." I answered as I was shaken.

"You really shouldn't have gone out this late, do you know what could be out here? Bears, wolfs, and maybe even dangerous people," Y/N scolded me and I looked down in shame.

I pulled out my phone to call my members as they are probably worried sick about me but I gasped when I saw my phone cut clean in half without error...

"N-no way... How is this possible...?" I trembled as I tried to figure out what the fuck happened to my phone.

"You should consider yourself luckty it was your phone... Instead of you," Thomas spoke and I looked up to him.

"What do you mean...? The Half Engine did this to my phone...?" I nervously asked and Y/N nodded.

"Not many people live to tell their tale... Instead, they are found with their corpses cut in half... Just like the engines. I saw her once myself and that's why I consider myself the luckiest man on the island," Y/N explained and shivers ran down my spine as I felt thankful that it took my phone instead of me.

Thomas and Y/N gave me a ride back to the sheds and he guided me back to the dormitory and I was in for a lecture from Jisoo that night but that was the least of my concerns.

Whatever I saw... Whether it be the Half Engine or not, I will never forget it and I feel like this will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I feel sorry and regret that I didn't believe Thomas and instead risked my own life to prove that the Half Engine is nothing but a made-up folklore tale.

Throughout the rest of the trip, nothing happened and I never saw the Half Engine again, but the thought of it lingered in my mind, and sometimes... At night, when I sleep... I feel being watched by something or someone.

#kpop #kpop idol #kpop gg #bxg #x male reader #blackpink #blackpink rose #blackpink jisoo #blackpink lisa #blackpink jennie #kim jisoo #jisoo kim #jennierubyjane #kim jennie #rose #park chaeyoung #lalisa manoban #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine

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clickabletale · 2 years

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It’s a pattern with me- 💀

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jenyifer · 7 months

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How does Boston treat Nick in front of others?

I know I need to do a just atom soup pot but this question is bothering me more. So I find when I’m in a relationship a big indicator if the other person is serious is how they act about me in front of their friends. 100% of the time their friends family are on their side so it’s important those people get the impression that the person 1 likes me and 2 thinks of me long term. So let’s look at some BostonNick moments and apply those principles to them.

Boston is eager to talk about how useful Nick is to his friends. He also must have talked him up so much Nick is put in charge of the website. Something that isn’t super simple if you can make bookings for the hostel through the website. Look at Boston’s face before TopMew show up. Quietly proud.

Boston doesn’t try to downplay what him and Nick were doing at the pool. He doesn’t try to blame things on Nick. It gives the impression this is deliberate and has been done before. Mew will definitely know now that Boston and Nick are seriously seeing eachother with this scene in the pool. If Boston wanted to deny it he’d have to be a bit more callous towards nick. But he looks at the poor boy like this. Melty goo.

With Ray and Sand Boston insists that he and Nick stay out with Ray and Sand further cementing what’s going on with the two of them. He’s perfectly happy to be snuggly to the max with Nick in front of Ray and Sand… kind of possessive to some extent. Boston knows Sand is Nick’s friend he wants to be perceived by Sand and Nick that he’s a cool guy. I think that’s a reason why he looks so annoyed with Ray’s rebuttle hurtful statement to Nick. FIRST Ray implies Nick is wrong for liking Boston which Boston agrees with. Then Ray says Boston can’t love anyone but himself. Putting Boston down and I think this did hurt him. Boston does love Ray and Mew actually in his own head he can definitely accept that more than his feelings for Nick. Still he doesn’t want to be put down in front of Nick. It’s hastening the end.

Post fight Cheum and Mew try to get Boston to admit to dating Nick which Boston denies. THEN he says what he really feels “you guys are going to abash me in front of him” That is what Boston can’t stand. That is what Ray did. Mew Cheum and Ray talk about how Boston is a heartless slut all the time but Boston acts like he doesn’t care. HOWEVER in this conversation Bostons tone is serious he doesn’t want to be put down in front of Nick.

Because Boston wants Nick to like him.

Because feelings are already there.

Boston brings Nick to meet his dad and… idk about you but how Boston looks at Nick in this scene makes me feral. He is possessive in his own way Proud that Nick is there being useful to his dad. Boston respects his dad even though he treats Boston with disdain. Boston bringing nick there HUGE. Boston leaning on Nick for support and talking his skills up. Priceless confirmation.

Ugh I can’t have anymore photos but at the party ep 6 as things fall apart Boston denies his and Nicks relationship while relying on Nick. But Bostons denials now feel hollow. Boston knows. If I was Nick and ALL THAT SHIT WENT DOWN then Boston came back to my place. I’d be comforted by the fact every “Is Nick your boyfriend” question the answer was a placid no not a fervent denial or joke.

Anyways I think all those scenes show that Boston wants Nick around and he’s proud to have Nick at his side. Even if his words don’t match body language actions prove it. I can totally see why Nick was conflicted.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #ofts meta #only friends meta #only friends Boston #only friends nick #bostonnick #ofts Boston #ofts nick #Boston x nick #Jenny’s rambling

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waitmyturtles · 8 months

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THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 5 ("CH-CH-CH-CHANGES / TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE") EDITION

Well, well, FUCKING well. Man, I am REELING. THAT. Was a HELL of an episode of a drama. Jojo and his team need to applaud themselves.

Let me set this up by sharing with y’all a tweet that really stuck with me after episode 4, but I think it’s pertinent to episode 5:

Now, yes -- this is a touch of a generalization (many of my queer friends are straight-edge-and-or-early-to-bed-while-living-in-cities folx), but I want to note something important in this tweet.

Before I got started on episode 5 last night, after having seen a lot of the meta and reactions on my dash throughout the day, I shot a note to dear @ranchthoughts that I thought I'd have to get a little #oldmom on this episode. Speaking to chibi's note above: toxicity happens to be a common human trait. Seeing that there was QUITE a bit of surprise for Boston's "outing" of Ray to Sand on my dash actually surprised me.

From my lawyer friends, I learned about the following concept, and I just cracked the fuck up the first time I heard it, because it rang really true once I got my head around it: a lawyer friend once told me that when he started out at a typical major American law firm, his orientation included hearing a presentation from an older managing partner about the idea of the "equal opportunity asshole." Meaning: there's workplace harassment against protected classes, like race-based or sex-based harassment. But: can you get sued if you treat EVERYONE AROUND YOU like shit? And, he didn't mean on a personal level, not on an attacking level. Just on an abrupt, aggressive level. A bossy level. A very direct-toned level.

That kind of interaction -- an interaction with an equal opportunity asshole -- we know those kinds of people, right? These kinds of folks are...titchy. They might jump to conclusions. They're rooted in their worldview ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. They lack empathy. They make you feel unsettled. They are emotionally disconnected from you. They have NO interest in being emotionally connected WITH YOU.

When I dove into episode 5, I really thought I'd be writing about Boston as the equal opportunity asshole, and I think that this theory still holds to a great extent, but -- there's a but, a slight and fascinating-to-me but, that I'll get to in a second.

@ranchthoughts did the thing once more of covering EVERYTHING in her episode 5 ephemerality breakdown, so dear Ranch, I'm just gonna repeat some stuff you said in my own words, if you don't mind. First off, a couple of gushes:

1) That blind dining scene had me swooning. "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get," was what I was hearing when I was watching that. These lovely idiots are blind to what's happening in front of them, and what that means to them -- BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUNG. YOUNG AND INEXPERIENCED. The blind dining metaphor, oh gawd -- using your senses to come to realizations about how you're truly feeling, and how to connect better with WHAT you're feeling? Slamming my hands on the table! BRILLIANT. Mew is SO clueless (OR IS HE?!?!??!).

1.5) And -- remember (all you young folks out there!). Youth is fleeting (cc the Ephemerality Squad). What we're watching of this cohort of "friends" is their building their bases of life experiences NOW, that will TEACH them how they will live more EXPERIENCED lives in their futures. Will their lives be better? Who the fuck knows. But their FUTURE LIVES will be shaped by what they're experiencing NOW.

2) Ranch nailed this already, but Sand is just as bad as Ray in living in the annals of time. (He's also naughty for another reason, which I'll get into in a postscript.) He's got the vintage tees, he wants to rewind to Woodstock, he's a fan of mostly classic Brit rock (....I will not call the Arctic Monkeys classic Brit rock, I will not, thus, "mostly," lol.) Dear friend @neuroticbookworm described this phenomenon of Sand's in the frame of Ray dabbling in a day of poverty tourism, as essentially what his day and night with Sand constituted. But I'd also add that Sand's living in a fantasy world of a couple levels to break the monotony of his everyday life. Those flashes of hope that he'll travel to world to festivals one day -- as he clocks 450 baht (around $12 USD) per bottle, as he sings, as he gets up and gets down -- yes, Ray is his fantasy, his non-existent 25th hour, Ray is the break from monotony that Sand needs as a thing to look forward too. Of course it comes crashing down.

3) But it'll come crashing down anyway, because I will posit the following: Sand's survival fantasies are necessary to keep him going by way of motivation, because Sand is going to be held back by others, and not just Ray. Sand is caught in a trap of filial piety. (OH SHIT! GIMME!) He's paying off his mom's debts.

We don't know how much the debts are. [We're seeing in Dangerous Romance that Sailom is getting his ass beat if he and his brother don't pay the debt collectors on time every month. Shit, the debt collectors are even trying to make Sailom an escort (which then turns into Kanghan buying off Sailom himself, but lemme leave that alone, WRONG SHOW)]. But even Sand's mom admits: Sand is solving a problem of MY OWN CREATION. How good is my son? He's a very good son. Drink up, honey.

Sand thought of Ray: wow, this guy might be into me, and shit, I'm into him. And I could use this right now! I could use this break. And that illusion came crashing down when Sand -- an intelligent dude! -- put two and two together real fast. And Sand, very rightly -- because he is FAST learning independence, in a totally different way than the main OF quartet -- pulls the hell away, and puts away the fantasy of Ray at Alone O'Clock.

3.5) I just want to note, real quick, that we now have TWO of my favorite-ist themes in this show: we have intergenerational trauma by way of Ray, and filial piety by way of Sand. THANK YOU, JOJO AND TEAM! *This* bitch is TRACKIN'.

4) Big ephemerality note here: I just, I SWOONED, GOD, I LOVED IT, WHEN RAY REVEALED HIS MOTHER WAS AN ACTRESS. And that she was bitter about getting pregnant and how that affected her career. Are you kidding me? JOJO. NINEW. ALL OF YOU. BRILLIANT. The ephemerality OF SHOWBIZ ITSELF.

Aren't all these actors risking their damn careers by potentially BLOWING UP THEIR SHIPS for the sake of this show? (I mean, that's actually a little far-fetched, as FirstKhao will be the first GMMTV pair to have an intercontinental fanmeet, BUT STILL.) God, the commentary on the FICKLENESS of showbiz was just CHEF'S KISS.

5) As Ranch noted, this was the episode where CHANNNNNGGGGEEEEE was the big bell ringing. Top needed something different than his sexual monotony -- so he goes after Mew, and shit, homes is bored AF. (@lurkingshan covered this perfectly here.) Mew contemplates changing for Top, the LASIK, the sex, all of it. Top seems to try a different kind of sex with Mew -- soft and romantic sex that ends with "I love you." Nick (oh, my bubby Nick), changes for Boston, becomes ripped, finds buttons and slacks. Boston contemplates whittling his list down. Ray wears secondhand (lol, it's called "vintage," asshole). Sand changes his routine to accommodate Ray.

And yet. I very, very often say in my posts that the process of behavioral change is INCREDIBLY difficult.

The five stages of behavioral change are: pre-contemplation, contemplation (Nick and the podcast), preparation, action (Nick at the gym), and maintenance.

The risk to this process, at any point in time, is: RELAPSE.

Think of how difficult it is to quit smoking. To go on a diet. To start an exercise routine. To stop biting your nails.

What is the thing that marks these processes more than anything else?

It's the RELAPSE into the old behavior, the old habits.

We really saw Boston trying to change...something. Trying to stick out...something with Nick. Trying on something new. Kinda like the way Ray tried on his secondhand shirt.

And then Boston experiences a familiar trigger: a trigger of jealousy when Mew calls him, innocently, to give Boston the heads-up that he's about ready to experience some cherry magic.

And that trigger, like all of our own triggers -- stress, a change of environment, a change of the people around you -- sent Boston back to a place.

Listen, I will, in no way, ever defend Boston's behavior. He was drunk and high AF, and he's generally toxic. Jojo is totally egging this on.

I would absolutely call Boston an equal opportunity asshole. He's only seeing the world from his own worldview, his own desires, his own desire to control whatever he can control around him.

But like I said before: toxicity is FAR more common that we'd like to believe. And toxicity within someone doesn't disappear very easily -- just like any of our habits, be they good or bad habits.

Boston was trying out a new life, for a few minutes (lol), of being a LITTLE LESS EPHEMERAL, a little less aloof -- a little less toxic. And a trigger brought him back to his bad place, and I think what we saw in that damn outburst was a relapse of the highest order.

Ray repeats to Nick what Top and Cheum have already said. This guy, Boston? He's nasty. Stay away. Boston's an asshole. Boston's still being stigmatized, and still living up to his label.

How would I summarize all of this? Throughout this ENTIRE episode, what was screaming within my head, as I said above, was: youth is fleeting. Youth itself is ephemeral. The experiences these young folks are going through at this moment in this show will build their experiences for how they will survive (or not) in their futures.

We may think that Boston, and Ray, and Mew, will not learn from their dumbass behavior, but -- they will. They will have no choice. Because their time being this young, and inexperienced, and idiotic, will flee. They'll graduate, and they will have to learn how to survive in a "real" world that may very well be far more brutal to them than their proximate friendships are to them right now. And man, if they have to experience lives that are MORE brutal than these proximate friendships they have, then good LUCK to them, because, well -- shit. It ain't pretty the way it is right now.

...

P.S. I just thought this whole scene was brilliant. Sand, honey, you're not as innocent as your meow feelings are letting on. I'm holding you accountable for what you're saying to Ray, too.

P.P.S. JENNIE.

(HAPPY SUNDAY, EPHEMERALITY SQUAD! @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @distant-screaming @slayerkitty @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea)

(HEY, SQUAD: if you tag me in things, and I forget to reblog, send me a DM! I'm on the last stages of this moving chapter of my life, and I don't wanna miss your meta!)

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sheldon-oswald-lee · 26 days

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My Life As A

Smiling Friends. Just Smiling Friends.

By @animatorrader

#my life as a teenage robot #mlaatr #jenny wakeman #nicktoons #nickelodeon #xj9 #jenny xj9 #nick #digital art #x j9 #smiling friends #nickelodeon fanart #smiling friends fanart

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blairwaldcrf · 1 year

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blair waldorf + jenny humphrey | Oscar Wilde // Sylvia Plath // Jim Thompson // Jean-Paul Sartre // Charles Bukowski

#blair waldorf #jenny humphrey #blenny #blair x jenny #gossip girl #gossipgirledit #web weaving #blennyedit #it's sad hours friends #re: gif three- the actual scenes both take place against glass.. but i decided i didn't need to trigger my own ptsd for only a gifset so #*by me #***

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dreamsuvivor · 2 years

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shoutout to the girlies who would choose the safe option, the golden retriever of a boy, who treats them right, the boy they need not want, but I will always choose the one that is probably not good for me, but makes me feel fireworks inside and makes me kinda insane, the mysterious broody type that is slightly toxic, but has a soft spot for me, the one that i can argue at 2 AM but will kiss me in the rain

#i will always choose the one i want not the one i need even if it means I will end up alone #this is shoutout to all my friends who persuaded me to date the nice guy who i felt zero sparks with #this post is very much inspired by #the summer i turned pretty #and taylor’s the way i loved you #team conrad #am i gonna end up alone?#possibly #conrad fisher #i choose suffering #love #jenny han #christopher briney #jeremiah fisher #conrad x belly

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light-yaers · 2 years

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Lover: Chapter Four

Chapter List | AO3 | Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and substance abuse, eventual sex/smut, mentions of death/cancer. 18+

A/N: this one goes out to all the emotional bitches!! enjoy this bitches!!

Word Count: 4.7k

Chapter Four: close.

“The chairs will go here,” Belly explains, walking on the beach by the house. “The altar will go right here and flowers will decorate all the furniture,” she’s beaming.

“It sounds amazing, Bells,” you let out, utterly in awe of the fact that the wedding is coming up so soon. “A beach wedding—it suits you and Jeremiah so well,”

“I know,” she agrees. “Oh, also! The pool is being covered and turned into the dancefloor for the reception afterwards,”

“I can’t wait to see Jeremiah twerk on top of a swimming pool cover. If we were still sixteen, he would have been fired from his dream job at the country club,” you joke.

“Paige hated him at first, but she soon realised it’s impossible not to love him. In all his annoying and charming glory,” Belly gushes about her man.

“Amen to that,” you agree, slinking your arm around her shoulders as the two of you head back up to the house.

“Taylor’s arriving this evening, by the way,” she continues, entering the back door to the kitchen. “She’ll come round tomorrow. She’s staying in a hotel, since we don’t have the room space right now, before you ask,” she looks at you knowingly—she knew exactly what you were about to ask.

You perch on a bar stool. “Any space for Conrad in that hotel?” you joke. “I feel bad that he’s sleeping on the floor all summer,”

“He suggested it when we were first talking about you coming,” Belly begins. “I think he just really wanted you back in the house. We all did,”

So, it was Conrad’s idea to suffer on the floor for your sake?

“I still feel bad,”

“Don’t,” Belly says softly. “He really really doesn’t mind,”

You and Conrad head into town after breakfast, under instruction from Belly to find vases for the flower arrangements for the wedding. You search store after store, collecting multiple different vases that fit her theme.

Conrad is bored. He’s milling around next to you, but not really focused. Every time you pick up another vase he rolls his eyes, groaning to himself and leaning against store shelves for some respite.

“Hey,” you click your fingers at him once, when you see him fucking falling asleep. “Wake up, idiot,” Conrad flicks his eyes open, but it’s clear that he’s had enough. You stop and turn to him, frowning at him slightly. “Didn’t sleep well?”

“Something like that,” he lets out. His voice is a coarse croak. You suddenly feel awful.

“I told you that if you needed to sleep in your bed that I’d—,”

“And I elected not to hear you,” he cuts over you, strolling forward with sagged shoulders. “I’m fine, really,” he lies. You tut at him involuntarily, shooting him a knowing look.

“Let’s get a coffee,” you say, all but dragging Conrad out of the store.

You park Conrad’s Jeep outside a small café, one that you’d seen have a transfer from owner to owner over the years, but the coffee was ultimately the best in Cousins. A bell dings when you and Conrad pull open the door, and inside you’re met with the bitter burst of coffee granules in the air.

Conrad grabs the back of your top as you stride to the counter. You think nothing of it. It’s just normal now, for him to want to be close. For you to accept that closeness.

You haven’t talked more about what happened the other day—the confession, the attraction. Instead, you both accept that you said it, admitted it, and it’s basically gone back to normal. Laurel gives you knowing looks in the house, same as Cleveland with Conrad, but the two of you act as normal as you always have; inseparable, happy, emotions and feelings hidden underneath the banter you share instead.

“One Cappuccino and an iced latte plea—,”

“Don’t I know you?” the server’s voice juts over yours, and you finally get a good look at him. The years fall away, and suddenly you’re sixteen, sat with Jeremiah and his friends by the pool. Conrad was sailing that day.

“Oh my God... Lucas?” you reply.

“The one and only!” he exclaims. He’s a tall man, with brunette hair slicked back and stuffed into a backwards cap. His muscles look like a bunch of mangoes underneath some tarp. He’s fucking huge. Does everyone in Cousins look like they’re on steroids?

The two of you laugh and go through re-introductions. All the while, Conrad is silent next to you. He’s staring Lucas down, fingers pulling on your top so much that he’s started pulling you backwards.

“Conrad,” you say quickly, noting his obvious change in behaviour. “You remember Lucas?” you turn to him, getting a good look at his frown. If looks could kill...

“I see the Fisher’s every summer, still,” Lucas responds on Conrad’s behalf. “How you doing, Connie? How does it feel knowing that your baby brother is getting hitched before you?”

Conrad lets out the most rancid laugh you’ve ever heard. “Feels great,” he basically spits it. “Can we get our coffee now?” he demands.

“Conrad,” you say once, shooting him a disappointed stare.

“It’s all good. That was one Cappuccino and an iced latte—,”

“To go,” Conrad interjects again. You shoot daggers at him with your eyes, astounded that he’s acting so rudely. It’d been a while since you’d seen Conrad this way—seething, eyes on fire, chest pumping pure adrenaline around his body as his rage hits its peak.

But to get angry at a random guy? You thought he was better than that.

You pay for the drinks, stepping forward and tapping your card down. Conrad’s still clutching onto your shirt, as if he’s jealous, or scared, or anything.

“I guess I’ll see you at the wedding,” Lucas says, skirting his eyes over you as you pick up the two to-go coffees.

“Definitely,” you smile.

“Would you maybe want to grab a drink sometime, too? Before everyone fucks off after summer again?” he asks, and you practically hear Conrad’s anger bubbling inside his body. It’s obvious Lucas is hitting on you, but Conrad’s behaviour was only pissing you off.

You didn’t want to hook up with Lucas, didn’t want anything with him, but out of spite surrounding Conrad’s shitty reaction, you say “That sounds nice, yeah,”

Conrad tugs you backwards immediately. You smack his hand off your top venomously, not even bothering to turn around and look at his face. Lucas is already looking at him, awkward smile on his lips. “See you at the wedding, too, Connie?”

“Don’t call me that,” he says through a clenched jaw. You finally swivel around, shoving the cappuccino in his hands.

“Go and wait in the car,” you demand, utterly embarrassed by his childish behaviour. He shoots you this look; one that could only say—what the fuck? This guy? Seriously?— before he leaves the café without a word. The bell on the door dings as he storms out.

You exchange numbers with Lucas, inwardly raging at the situation that just occurred. Lucas seems fine though, as you wave goodbye a few minutes later. As soon as the café door shuts behind you, your face drops into pure anger.

Conrad’s leaning on the passenger door of the Jeep, arms crossed, sipping coffee every few seconds angrily. You storm towards him, not even knowing where the fuck to begin.

“What the fuck was that?”

“What?” Conrad raises his brows at you. “With me? Are you fucking joking?”

“You were vile in there, Conrad. For no fucking reason,”

“Lucas is a dick. I thought you fucking knew that. Excuse me if I got pissed when it was clear he wanted to jump into bed with you—,”

“Do you hear yourself? You acted like a goddamn child—,”

“At least I didn’t agree to a fucking date with a moron who doesn’t know the difference between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’,”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you let out, exhausted already. You step back in realisation, finding the words slowly. “So that’s it, huh? You can’t fucking stand it when I speak to a man this isn’t you, Jere or Steven, is that it?”

“Oh, fucking hell, please—,” Conrad rolls his eyes.

“No, no, I’m right. Want me to go find another random man to have a two-minute conversation with and see how long it takes you to fucking explode?” you’re both screaming now, breathing heavily, on a raging war path about who’s in the right.

“Fuck you,” Conrad says, seething. It hits your heart the hardest. You let out a disgusted laugh, not knowing how this even happened. You’re amazed at how fast this escalated, all stemming from Conrad’s behaviour.

You grab the car keys from your pocket, chucking them at him suddenly. “Drive yourself home, asshole,” you say lowly, before you start walking towards the beach. Conrad fumbles as he catches the keys, dropping his coffee in the process. You don’t care enough to look back.

“Where the fuck are you going?” he yells.

“To get some fresh fucking air!” you yell back, storming down the small hill to the beach. People sat outside at the café sip their drinks in awe, overhearing the entire ordeal between you and Conrad. You ignore them, waiting for the sound of the Jeep driving away to hit your ears.

When it finally does, you let out a sigh.

You walk down the beach, shoes in hand and ocean breeze calming you down bit by bit. After fifteen minutes, you’ve walked a little under halfway home. Conrad should be back at the house by now. You stop abruptly, looking out towards the sea, breathing in deeply.

What the fuck, Conrad? What the fuck.

Conrad slams the driver’s seat of the Jeep loudly, picking up the bags of vases as he makes his way to the front door. Opening the front door, he’s met with Belly and Jeremiah, stood beneath the archway.

“You didn’t ask me though, Bells. This is as much my day as it is yours—,”

“I thought you would have wanted him here, after everything that’s happened. I grew up with him too, you know—,”

“That wasn’t your decision to make!” Jere exclaims. “Dad being here won’t be good for Conrad or for me,”

Conrad stops abruptly, and his brother finally notices his presence. Belly’s the first to let out a sigh; guilty. By the looks on their faces, it’s obvious they’ve been fighting since you and him left for town.

“I’m going sailing,” Conrad announces out of the blue.

“I’m coming,” Jeremiah says quickly.

“Jeremiah,” Belly lets out, obviously upset. He looks at her sadly, annoyed; maybe he thought she was better than this.

“We’ll be back later,” he says. It’s not a promise; it sounds like a punishment of sorts. Jeremiah runs upstairs to get changed, leaving Conrad and Belly alone.

Conrad gently hands Belly the bags of vases. “She picked them all,”

“Where is she?” Belly asks quietly. Conrad swallows uncomfortably.

“She wanted to walk home,” is all he says. It’s enough to tell Belly that they fought, as well. There was something in the air, something in sea, today. That had to be it.

Belly sits on the beach after Jere and Conrad leave to sail. She runs her fingers through the sand, picking it up and sifting it to the ground again. You see her as you approach the house, still stomping off your anger, despite walking for thirty minutes.

You approach Belly, hair blowing in the wind and thighs burning from treading through sand. “Hey!” you shout, getting closer with every stride. You stop when you’re a metre from her, peering down at her obviously sad, little face.

Something’s happened with her, too. You don’t know what, but you know you’ll find out soon. Still riding the coattails of your fight with Conrad, you suggest the first thing that comes to mind.

“Do you wanna get drunk?”

Belly looks up at you, eyes glassy. “Yes,”

You’re two bottles of wine and two big bags of chips down when Belly finally asks “Why did you walk home? Did something happen?”

You swill your glass of white for a few seconds, blowing out a big huff of air. Before this point, your conversation was blissful. No mention of the boys, no mention of their fights—just wedding talk, girl talk, reminiscing.

“Is it that obvious?”

Belly scoffs. “Conrad is attached at your fucking hip. Of course, it’s obvious. He wouldn’t have drove home without you unless something happened,”

You tell her about the café, about his behaviour. She looks thoughtful, listening to every word as the cogs in her brain think of something to offer.

“You know Conrad. He’s protective,” she replies.

“That doesn’t make it okay. It was embarrassing,” you take an annoyed gulp of wine. “I’m a grown woman, you know? I don’t need him acting like this. It’s not like we’re together,” you stop after your prior sentence, realising more and more that Conrad’s outburst had purely been from jealously.

“Sometimes, it seems like you are,” Belly says smally. She looks at you with soft eyes. “This summer doesn’t feel like when we were kids. You and Conrad were always close, but... I don’t know, it seems like more now,”

Did she know about your confession to each other? About the obvious attraction?

“I—,” you start, but you have to halt yourself while your brain fires thoughts at you. You hold your head in your hands, pinching the bridge of your nose painfully. “I don’t know, honestly,”

“You like him?” Belly chides. You let out a huff.

“Not if he’s gonna act like this, no,” you let out. “But... I mean, I love him, you know?”

“We all love Conrad—we all love each other—but is it a ‘you’re my best friend’ sort of love, or something else?” she keeps digging. You don’t know what to reply, don’t know what to feel. You’ve never had to think like this before, about the possibilities, about your own feelings this deeply, especially not for Conrad.

You’re reminded of the way Belly looked at you and Conrad during your dress fitting. It hits you like a truck. She’s looking at you in the same way, now.

“You pulled this same face at the boutique, Bells,” you say, smiling at the way she backtracks her expression.

“No, I did not,” she lets out, fumbling over her words. “I was just—admiring—the way you two were interacting—,”

“You want us to get together,”

“Would it be so bad?” she bursts. All her secrets spill out in one solid package. “Me and Jere, you and Conrad, Steven and Shayla. Summers here. Maybe even life here, since Conrad is planning on moving to the beach house,”

“He’s what?” you question. Belly gasps subtly, leaning back and trickling her fingers over her mouth.

“I... wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” she says smally. You’re on the brink of laughing in her face. Drunk Belly is the worst secret keeper. “Please don’t tell him I told you,”

“I won’t,” you promise. “But you have to tell me why, now,”

“I mean, wouldn’t you want to move here, too?” Belly splutters. “I think Cousins feels more like home than Boston does for him, now,”

Home. Cousins felt like home to you, too. That was a funny thing to admit, considering your parents’ marriage had fucking collapsed in the beach house. Nothing could beat the feeling though—getting off a ten hour flight, driving through the city until you reach the border, all the way down until you hit the sea—that was what coming home felt like.

“Still though—just imagine it,” Belly continues. “Would falling in love with Conrad really be so awful?”

“You’re biased,” you chuckle.

“I am not!” Belly bursts, slopping wine on the dock. “Teenage Belly’s infatuation with Conrad Fisher is dead and buried,”

“So, you went for his brother instead,” you smile smugly. Belly smacks you on your thigh.

“Fuck you,” she lets out, but her smile is too big to not be real.

The two of you get through another bottle of wine by the time the boys get home. Laurel and Cleveland are out of town for the evening, researching Cleveland’s new book. Steven’s at Shayla’s. The house is empty, besides the fucking tension of your shared arguments with the Fisher boys.

Jeremiah’s the first out onto the patio, while Conrad still stands in the kitchen. “Are you guys okay?” Jere yells. Both of you immediately duck to the floor of the dock, laughing like schoolgirls.

“Do you want to have a sleepover?” Belly suggests.

“That sounds like a dream,” you giggle back. Belly stands then, looking back towards the house, bottle of Chardonnay in her hand.

“We’re fine!” she yells. Jere disappears back inside, no doubt to play video games with Connie on the couch.

When you both eventually drag yourselves inside, Jeremiah and Conrad are watching a movie. There’s a bowl of popcorn between them, actors laughing on the TV, but the mood couldn’t have been flatter. They definitely talked on the boat.

Belly slings her arm through yours as the two of you round the corner to the living room. The boys look up to meet you both; your giddy, drunk, female empowered asses.

“We’re having a sleepover tonight,” Belly announces. “We’re taking Conrad’s room,”

“Is your third guest another bottle of wine?” Conrad speaks up, as rude as ever. You stare at him plainly, bluntly, not even bothering to vocalise against him this time.

“Why? You jealous?” you say spitefully. Conrad turns back to the TV immediately, frown covering his pretty boy face. Jeremiah looks at his brother for a second, before shooting you a saddened look.

“Sleep well,” he says, before looking at Belly. “Both of you,” Belly’s face drops sadly. This must be the first time in a while where they haven’t slept in the same bed.

You smile at Jeremiah. “Thanks, Jere,”

It feels funny having someone in the bed beside you in Conrad’s room. You’ve got used to Conrad on the floor beneath you, sleeping soundly, making noises in his sleep. Belly snuggles up next to you, leaning into you on the pillow beside you. You do the same, facing her nose to nose.

She still looks sad, like she wishes this evening had ended differently. Gently, you pick up a piece of her hair and brush it behind her ear.

“Still feel rough, Bells?” you whisper. The moon is shining through the tiniest gap in Conrad’s curtains, casting a faint glow over her face. Her eyes are still glassy, still weeping.

“We’ve never gone to sleep without resolving a fight before,” she whispers back. “It just... feels weird,” she admits. “And now... the more I’ve thought about it, I definitely should have asked him first about Adam,”

Belly invited Adam to the wedding, without Jeremiah knowing. It’d been a few years since Adam had contacted the boys. After Susannah died, it was very easy for them all to go their separate ways. The brothers together in Cousins every summer, Adam in England most of the time.

“Maybe you should tell him that,” you suggest, softly running your fingers through her thick hair.

“And leave you here to suffer with Conrad?” she says, peering at you with puppy dog eyes. You lay your hand on her shoulder, smiling.

“I can deal with Conrad,” you whisper. “What I can’t deal with is seeing you so upset,”

Belly snuggles closer into your chest. You always did feel like a big sister to her.

“Do you think he’ll apologise?” she asks. You let out a sigh. You want to be certain that he will, but Conrad had always struggled with biting his tongue and letting go of his pride. Jeremiah, however, had always been somewhat of the peacekeeper—

Maybe their sailing trip talked some sense into him.

“I guess we’ll see,” you say, trying not to sound so uncertain.

Belly gives you a swift kiss on the cheek, before hoisting herself out of bed. You watch as she leaves, headed for Jeremiah’s room and clicking the door shut.

Belly makes sure to be quiet as the door creaks shut, but almost screams at the top of her lungs when she sees a black silhouette before her on the landing. She gasps, clutching at her chest in fear before realising who it is.

“Conrad— Jesus Christ,” she lets out, feeling her heart pump beneath her ribs.

“It’s definitely Conrad,” he jokes, whispering at her from the other side of the hallway. They both stop, wondering what to say given the circumstances. “Going to see Jere?” he chides.

Belly nods in the dim light. “You?” she asks, but it’s obvious what he’s doing. Conrad lets out a huff, scuffing his bare feet on the sanded floor.

“Yeah,” he confesses. Slowly, they move past each other, heading for the rooms that each of them just left. Belly stops before Jeremiah’s door, back turned to Conrad.

“Be good,” she says once, sterner this time, but still with a soft tone that incites him to do the right thing. Conrad smiles to himself, before Belly enters Jere’s room and shuts the door behind her.

“I will,” he whispers to himself, before creeping across the floorboards to his door.

You hear it open, a creak first, before the subtle whoosh of air displacing. You can sense his presence immediately, sense him stood in the doorway, wondering how to go about this entire situation. Conrad shuffles into the room, shutting the door gently.

You’re laying down on the right side of the bed, back turned to the door. Conrad’s stare hits the back of your neck immediately, forcing your hairs to stand on edge. Part of you thinks he’s going to creep to the mattress and lie himself down without saying a word, but another part is screaming at you that he’s stalling.

Stalling to talk. Stalling to crawl into bed with you.

He clears his throat gently behind you. “Can we share?” he chides softly, and his voice is enough to make your heartrate accelerate.

It’s late, the moon is shining through the drapes, and suddenly you’re all too aware that your pyjamas are thin.

Nevertheless, you shuffle in bed, still not looking at him as you peel back the covers and indicate he can join you. Leaning back into the pillow, you watch in your peripheral as he descends onto the mattress next to you. His legs are so fucking long, broad shoulders for days, so it’s no surprise when you feel his bare skin skim your arm.

Goosebumps prickle on your skin. You wish you could sand them away.

He covers himself with the duvet, and the warmth of his body drifts over your bare legs. You both lie in silence, looking at the ceiling, hesitant about how to even begin. He’s just so close—closer than you get day to day, closer emotionally, too.

Conrad sighs softly, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry,” he says gently. His voice trickles over you instantly, heightening your senses. Everything sounds—feels—more intense at night. If you closed your eyes right now, you were sure you’d be able to hear his heart, beating in time with yours.

“It’s selfish,” he adds, and you hold your breath instinctively. “I just want you all to myself this summer,”

The manner in which Conrad Fisher speaks makes you crazy. The vagueness of his jokes, the accuracy of his intelligence, and the bluntness of his emotions. It would be comical that he says his feelings so plainly, without hesitation, if it didn’t make you want to melt.

He’d always had that effect, that magnetism, that made you latch onto his every word when you were a teenager. As you grew up, through your fights and absences, you learned how to combat his attitude—but this?

What were you supposed to say to this?

What were you supposed to say apart from you can have me.

It’s eating you alive, the want to express that you want nothing more than him next to you in this bed for the rest of the summer—maybe beyond—but the one thing that holds you back is this little slice of life; this time you have in Cousins; with the people you so dearly love.

What would happen to this little hidden realm of your life if you committed to something and then fucked it up?

You want to spill it all, eject your guts onto the floor, catapult your heart into his hands.

Instead, you sigh softly. “You’ve got me,” you croak, swallowing back a sudden sullen sadness that just slotted itself into your heart.

Conrad turns to you then, flickering his eyes over your side profile. Every coherent part of yourself is screaming at you not to look at him, but it’s overtaken by this craving in your gut—a craving reserved solely for Conrad fucking Fisher.

You turn to him too, hair falling over your jaw.

You’ve never seen him like this; face to face in the same bed; in the darkness with only the moon to tell you where his features lie. His eyes, warm as the bonfires on the beach; his nose, strong and pointed in the same way his attitude expresses itself; his collar bones and subtle curves and the mole just above his lip that somehow always catches your eye when you look at his face.

“You’ve got me,” you repeat, softer this time, upon your heart melting as soon as his gaze hit yours.

“Only for the summer,” he replies, swallowing softly. “Not forever,”

Do you want me forever, Conrad?

“Of course, you do,” you urge, suddenly overcome with the immense want to reassure him. Of course, he had you forever. Even after you left Cousins this summer.

Slowly, he reaches out his hand, tangling his fingers between a few strands of your hair. Gently, he tugs them behind your ear, exposing your entire expression to him. He smiles sadly when he rests his hand comfortably on your neck, thumb gently tracing your jaw.

“Not like this,” he says. “Not all of you,”

His eyes dart around your face, not sure where to land or what else he can take in of you. The frenzy of his stare hits your chest first, until your entire body is hit with the desire to yell at him—

I’m right here! I’m right in front of you!

The insurmountable weight of this summer having an end hit you instead, as you struggle against the want to flush your lips against his. Your days here are numbered, your days with him are numbered. Cousins isn’t real, is it? Only for a few months a year does it actually appear on a map.

But the other half of your psyche keeps you tied down. If you did that, it could get even more messy. If you gave in to his charm, his smell, his softness and the way he simply thrives when he’s around you—everything could go wrong.

“Maybe that’s the poetic part about it,” you let out, but your voice doesn’t sound right. It sounds strained, tongue tied, as your body tries to get you to speak the words you desperately want to. “Two months, then back to reality,”

Conrad’s face softens into something that makes your heart hurt. He nods once, but you don’t believe him. “Yeah,” he mutters.

You still don’t believe him.

Gently, he tightens his grip on your neck and tugs you forward into his chest. You shuffle towards him immediately, until your bodies are flush under the duvet. You can feel all of him like this; the pulse beneath his skin; the blood in his veins; the subtle pop of a heart string breaking.

It feels right. It feels right being this close to Conrad Fisher.

You snuggle yourself into him, as he encases you in his embrace strongly. You rise your thigh up under the duvet, so it’s resting upon him, wrapped around his torso comfortably. One of his hands trickles upon your bare skin there, keeping you in place—holding onto you for dear life.

Falling asleep in Conrad’s arms wasn’t something you ever imagined happening, but now that you had a taste of it—

You were in danger.

Big, fuck off, danger.

Tag list: @browneyes-issac @cjansw234 @mightiestheroes @slxt4myselfxd @m3laniehearts @advicefromnixxxx @planttett @ready-hit-it @lonelywitchv2 @conradswifee @sunnystarkey

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