#iykyk i guess

[star-anise]

So I've been watching this series of videos where a research-focused psychologist goes through Jordan Peterson's work to see which of his ideas and arguments are based on solid empirical evidence. I love it, even though she does mistakenly say his background is in counselling psychology (my field) when he's actually a clinical psychologist.

Anyway, that's got me thinking about Jordan Peterson, and how his response to criticism is, "People have been after me for a long time because I’ve been speaking to disaffected young men — what a terrible thing to do, that is. [...] I thought the marginalized were supposed to have a voice.”

So, here's my theory: Young men of the 21st century have grown up in a culture that is specifically hostile and punitive towards them. However, I think that while girls and women can participate in this culture, it is as much or more the work of boys and men. And I think that the problem with Peterson is that he's not particularly good at helping his audience escape the maze they are trapped in--and he's absolutely opposed to any attempt to dismantle a maze that is actually of fairly recent manufacture.

Case in point: The metrosexual.

The word "metrosexual" was coined in 1994 by Mark Simpson, a gay writer whose settings seem to be perpetually fixed at "critique the shit out of it".

"Metrosexual" describes heterosexual men who might be mistaken as gay, because they are interested in things very common among gay men, including: Caring about whether they're attractive; caring about how their hair is cut and what products they use in it; caring about what clothes they wear; working out to make their bodies look better; frequenting nightclubs. To be "metrosexual" was, in some people's opinions, to be a "man-boy" searching for his "inner girl".

To be metrosexual was, in some ways, to be called someone who looked gay.

The term didn't really catch on until the early 2000s, when media became briefly obsessed with talking about which celebrities were "metrosexual" or not. In that era of hotly divided opinions over the acceptability of homosexuality and queerness, it was implicitly asking, "Who looks gay? Is he gay? Tell me, fellow broadcaster: How gay does this guy look to you?"

(They got to have their cake and eat it too. A liberal audience, desperate to gather as many LGBTQ+ people and allies as possible in their race for 50% acceptance of gay marriage, cherished any signs that people with social clout might be on their side. And a conservative one, watching the same discussion, would heartily enjoy seeing a rogues' gallery of degenerate Hollywood types paraded before them, their every effeminacy pointed out in loving detail.)

Which of course got us: The Retrosexual!

When everybody's helpfully compiling lists of all the things a man can do that look gay or unmanly, dudes who don't want to get the shit kicked out of them by homophobes know all the things not to do!

Therefore, being "manly" became strictly defined by what was off-limits. To be a Real Man meant you shouldn't care about whether you're attractive, or what soap you use, or how your hair is styled. You shouldn't enjoy dancing or get too enthusiastic about music. A Real Man cares about sports and beer and being on top! Dominant!! A WINNER!!!

And, so like, here's a secret: In Anglophone culture, we are very affected by the Puritan legacy that says pleasure is inherently sinful. Vanity and pride--caring about how you look and whether you're attractive--are literal gateways to the Devil. Gluttony, and therefore seeking pleasure at all, is another such. And in Puritan religious theology, women are inherently more sinful. Yes, it goes back to Adam and Eve, and how Eve was tempted into sin first. Long story short, things associated with women became associated with sinfulness, and sinfulness became associated with effeminacy. And for centuries, you haven't even needed to be religious to drink these attitudes from the groundwater.

Okay, that's not the secret, this is the secret: Pleasure is not inherently sinful.

And liking how you look and feeling attractive and paying attention to your sensuality and your emotional life and connecting with art in a real and vulnerable way can feel really good, if you're able to handle it well.

Being raised to be a Real Man in a world where masculinity is perceived to be actively under threat is so uniquely painful, I believe, because every attempt to define yourself as "not gay" means denying yourself one of life's pleasures, and telling yourself you never even wanted it in the first place.

And then those desperate to be Real Men found a way to take some of those things back in what is surely the most painful context possible: They are allowed strictly as tools of your heterosexuality and masculine need for dominance. You are allowed to care about grooming and dancing, etc, purely as a strategy in playing a game called "Getting Girls", where you either score or you don't, where not scoring means you're worthless and unlovable, and scoring is often... strangely unfulfilling and certainly not enough to fill the aching void inside of you.

The mistake both Peterson and his fanbase make is that they get to this point, and then think: The reason I feel so empty inside is... I just haven't gotten enough girls!

Maybe some guys get out of the maze by finding a woman who is allowed to care about things like affection and love and dancing and looking nice, and their connection with her lets them express all the other parts of their souls that didn't fit in the Real Man box, but can come out in roles like Boyfriend or Father.

But humans aren't telepathic, so relationships can only "fix" you so much as you're willing to do the work of nurturing your own soul in a safe environment, so for a lot of men the maze never ends, and sometimes they don't even get the fleeting joys of relationships or sex, since they're so fucked up about them!

At this point, I as a queer woman am like, "Solution's obvious! Dismantle the maze."

And Peterson, who has worked his whole life to achieve the status of Best Maze-Runner in All of Christendom, is clinging to it like, "NO! DOWN, YOU DARK CHAOTIC MOTHER! THIS MAZE GIVES MY LIFE MEANING! THIS MAZE CONNECTS ME TO MY FOREFATHERS! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT THIS MAZE!"

At which point, like... what can you do but just leave him there?

At least he's not in my area of specialization. The world would be too unkind if I had to deal with him in any professional capacity. I wish Clinical Psychology all their continued joy of him.

#feminist discourse #masculinity #jordan peterson tw #to be honest #the moment I learned he was from Fairview and went to the UofA I was like 'OH IT ALL MAKES SENSE' #it's not that all of Fairview is one way because Rachel Notley and other very fine people come from Fairview #but there is a specific breed of Guys Who Come From Fairview #Who Study Psychology At the UofA #Who Like To Monologue About Conservative Politics #I can't explain it #it's a type #iykyk i guess

[becausecosima]

Calliope: "Anyway, she leaned in, and I saw her fangs... So I just--"

Talia: "Exactly what you did."

First Kill Gifsets // The Pantry Scene 1/?

#we all had the same thoughts when we watched talia confront cal #iykyk i guess #first kill edits #first kill #first kill s1 #calliette #the pantry scene #jules x cal #cal x jules #juliette x calliope #rzfk #FKgifrz #rzz #wlw #lgbt #lgbtqia #pride month #pride2022 #lesbians #sapphic #2k #3k

[apple-cores]

Somsnosa and Instar, with their appearance around hylics 2, and appearance x years into the future [scanned 2021, with new color]

also 3 year twinniversary

#hylics #hylics 2 #somsnosa #instar hylics #instar #i have story worked out up to my version of somsnosa leaving #which is also a bit after juice 4 #iykyk i guess #im cursed with knowledge but not closure so i can only go so far

[stoneconeslober]

Jeff Blim as Professor Henry Hidgens in Team Starkid’s “Workin’ Boys” (2023) trailer

#as a jeff blim stan it is my obligation to post these #he’s so fine #big day for the blammers and scooter lovers #iykyk i guess #jeff blim #starkid #team starkid #workin boys #working boys #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #professor hidgens #the guy who didn't like musicals

[aviscranio]

Corpse Bride (2005) dir. Tim Burton, Mike Johnson

#corpse bride #the corpse bride #tcbedit #animationedit #filmedit #emily (tcb) #victoria everglot #barkis bittern #my gif #/gifset #queue #//posting one set bc I'm cramping and I hate everything I've made atm #iykyk i guess

[ihathbenobiwankenobied]

Just a soft little fic of codywan sharing a moment in the rain :)

The rainforest fulfilled its promise as clouds gathered overhead and rain poured down. Obi-Wan and Cody had been waiting for their intel for hours, pacing between a triangle of trees.

They had agreed to meet with their source at coordinates two klicks inside the forest, and they had been waiting for hours, sitting by a makeshift fire to counteract the cool air. Obi-Wan had watched the sky as dark clouds rolled across the sky, “We should find somewhere to take cover while it passes.” He muttered as a drop of rain landed on his forehead.

Cody watched fondly as Obi-Wan blinked rapidly, smiled, and wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. “Sure, General. I saw a cave just over there.” Cody pointed to where he could see it far in the horizon between the sweeping trunks of the tall trees.

“Ah perfect, Cody. You’ve always had a keen eye.” 

Cody watched Obi-Wan’s lips curl into a frown as they walked. He kept eyeing the sky like it had done something to personally offend him.

“Something wrong, Sir?” Cody asked, looking up through the leaves of the trees to see if there was something he had missed. 

“I’m afraid storms here can take a few hours. Our contact will be late, I’m sure.” Obi-Wan shrugged, then looked back toward the cave they were rapidly approaching, “I suppose we will have to wait.”

“We need the intel; I’m sure General Skywalker can hold things down at the base.” Cody replied, hoping his reassurance would do something to quell Obi-Wan’s concerns. Cody himself was unconcerned; he was not opposed to taking a few hours to sit and relax. The war was long, and brutal, and ever stretching him to his limits. He knew Obi-Wan felt the same, though he was less likely to admit that. 

Like Cody, Obi-Wan felt an urge to protect, and that urge led to pushing himself until every bit of his energy had all but dissipated. 

A few hours, alone in the forest, wasn’t a bad thing. If not for the reason of rest, Cody would never complain about more time with his General. Obi-Wan was a beacon of light in the darkness. He was a soul that glimmered like gold even on the cloudiest days. It was hardly something to ignore

They approached the cave with caution, Obi-Wan entering first with his lightsaber lit and eyes scanning over the features of the walls and loose stones for signs of life. He waved Cody in after a moment, and then went to sit on a flat rock close to the ground. Cody followed suit, sitting next to him on the ground. 

It was then the rain picked up, pulsing against the ground like raining blaster fire. “Quite the weather.” Obi-Wan said with a chuckle, “Can’t imagine I’d want to live here if it was just going to rain all day.”

Cody laughed, a smile creeping onto his face without permission, “What? You don’t like getting mud all over your kit? Don’t like your tunics soaked with water?” 

Obi-Wan shook his head and water droplets fell from his unruly auburn hair and trickled down the sides of his face into his beard. “I can’t say that I do.”

Easy silence fell over them, as if often did. Cody never considered himself one for small talk, and Obi-Wan never seemed to mind. They sat for several minutes, and Cody watched the rain splash into the mud.

For once, his mind was quiet, free from all the noise of blasters and the vode and the endless reminders of the next battle to come. He basked in it, letting his thoughts dissolve into nothingness for only a few seconds before they were back to Obi-Wan.

Copper hair and blue eyes.

But he wasn’t just that, he was intelligent and kind, more compassionate than Cody had been expecting when he’d first seen the General’s little glowing picture the day he was assigned to the 212th. Cody had grown to allow himself the occasional privilege of a moment of appreciation for him.

Obi-Wan looked out on the muddy forest, something between fondness and regret written on his face. Cody found him hard to read. 

“What are you thinking about?” Cody asked quietly, his voice only just loud enough to be heard over the pounding rain. 

“Thinking about? Oh, nothing really.” Obi-Wan answered too quickly with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“You’re lying.” Cody said pointedly, “Really, what’s on your mind?” 

Obi-Wan sighed, then turned where he sat on his stone, “Sometimes I wish I could enjoy moments like these more, but for some reason… I can’t.”

Cody wanted to say he already knew that, but restrained himself. “Why can’t you?” He asked instead.

Obi-Wan nearly snorted, “I’ve never been good at stopping. I hate when things hang over my head, just waiting for me to complete them. I suppose there will always be something I have to do.” The General shook his head.

“You’re right.” Cody said after a pause, because Obi-Wan was right about everything he’d said. But it didn’t have to be that way. “But what if you could learn to enjoy doing nothing?” 

Obi-Wan considered that for a moment, then offered a shrug, “I’m afraid I don’t have a teacher.” 

It was the invitation Cody had been waiting for, “I can teach you. Let’s start now.” He stood up, shucking his pack where it was still strung on his back, and pulled his bucket off of his head. “Come with me.” 

He held out his hand to Obi-Wan, whose eyebrows were raised, “Where are we going?” He asked as he took Cody’s hand, slotting their palms together like it was always meant to be that way to begin with.

“Out there. In the rain.” Cody clarified, and began to pull his arm. Obi-Wan made a noise of protest, “Oh, c’mon, we’re already soaked, what’s a little more water?” Cody offered a smile, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks when Obi-Wan shook his head in defeat. 

“If you insist.” 

“I do.”

And then they were out in the rain, running through the mud without abandon. The rain cascaded over them quickly, little droplets running down Cody’s face and soaking through his hair. Obi-Wan dragged a hand through his flattened locks where they stuck to his forehead and pulled them back over his head. 

“Now what?.” He yelled out, though his eyes smiled.

“Let’s dance.” Cody yelled back, and took Obi-Wan’s other hand. Obi-Wan’s cheeks grew red when Cody pulled him close, their chests almost touching. 

It was clumsy, Cody’s feet moving in the opposite directions of Obi-Wan’s and their arms entangled at strange angles, yet, at the same, it felt equally natural. Obi-Wan laughed, eyes brighter than Cody had seen them in a long time. Cody let his own laughter out in loud sweeps when Obi-Wan accidentally stepped on his toes. 

“You’re a terrible dancer, Cody.” Obi-Wan said after he caught his breath.

“Oh and you’re so much better.” Cody rolled his eyes and dropped Obi-Wan’s hands so he could wrap his palms around Obi-Wan’s waist. 

They stood close together now, completely still.

Obi-Wan’s breath felt warm against the water droplets painted on Cody’s face. 

Their eyes locked and Cody’s heart melted in his chest.

“Commander.” Obi-Wan spoke in a whisper, his head leaning in, just brushing against Cody’s forehead. 

“General.” Cody responded feeling the compulsion to lean in, to feel every part of Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan’s lips were chapped, his beard ragged from a week without a shave, but under Cody’s gaze, he was the most beautiful he had ever been. It took Cody’s breath away. Obi-Wan’s cheeks were red, and he opened his mouth like he might say something, but there wasn’t anything to say, not anything that could cut the electricity that burned in between them.

So Cody leaned in, breath brushing across Obi-Wan’s lips.

Closed his eyes.

And suddenly everything was as it always should have been all along. Obi-Wan’s lips were soft against his, a feather-light touch, but it sent a shiver down Cody’s spine.

It was only a moment, and they pulled apart, Cody’s eyes searching Obi-Wan’s for something like approval or disdain or surprise.

“I–hello.” Obi-Wan said, with a hint of a smile. Cody reached out to swipe away a few droplets of water with the pad of his thumb.

“Hi.” Cody replied.

Their staring continued until Obi-Wan cleared his throat. 

“I think I’ve learned how to enjoy doing… nothing.” Obi-Wan said, taking a step back so Cody could see his face, see the redness that had gathered around his neck crawling up into his cheeks and forehead. “You’re quite a teacher.”

“Oh? That’s all it took to teach you how to relax?” Obi-Wan smiled brightly, brighter than both Tatooine suns in the middle of the afternoon. 

“I’m a fast learner.” 

#just a quick little codywan piece for may the 4th #may the 4th be with you #sad day for many codywan shippers for certain reasons however #iykyk i guess #dancing in the #fanfiction #codywan #fanfic #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #soft #fluff #codywan fluff #first kiss

[e-oe-u]

2023 and 2022 if you know the song ily

#fanart #coby one piece #op fanart #one piece #doodle #implied cobylu #iykyk i guess #cobylu

[wilson-salad]

One of the most interesting thing to observe from watching house md to me is how other people questioned wilson why he care so much about house, why he keep coming back even after house made him feel hurt, why despite everything, he chooses house. Imagine you witness this guy who's a total ass to everyone not excluding his boybestfriend, you heard this guy's friend has to put up with him for 20 years and after so long he still does things that can ruin his carreer and possibly life, but you see that he will always, always present when this jerk is getting in trouble. They have no boundaries yet they keep coming back. You see how much pain he had to endure everytime this jerk guy is self-destructive, you see how much he's hurt looking at his friend's near death experience that guy does to himself on purpose. You undertsand that's just the way they are, but sometimes you can't help but wonder, "why?"

#hilson #james wilson the person that you are #i understand his pain too much #i mean i can guess why #but its just #from outside perspective #its hard not to questioned it #this perspective is biased against house because most people are #iykyk i guess

[flameswallower]

Reading For I'm In Your Walls

It’s not a place, exactly, but the best way I can describe it is still: once I found myself in another place. And when, later, certain other things happened, that place returned to me, and I found to my surprise that it was familiar. I’d expected to go somewhere, but I thought it would be an undiscovered country, and it wasn’t. I’d been in this room before.

0.

It’s a different place, but it’s not a different location. Maybe a better way to put it would be that you suddenly perceive new aspects of the place you start from. Imagine if you were a carpenter ant chewing through a portion of wall and one day, briefly, you could see the whole house. Or smell it, with your antennae. It wouldn’t seem like your home. It wouldn’t feel like somewhere you completely recognized.

But it does seem like my home. That’s the part that I think is unusual. It feels like I’m actually supposed to be there. It feels like I was born in it, but someone threw something over me— like a bandage over a hole in the skin, like a plastic cup over an ant— and I forgot. But maybe I’m wrong about that, maybe everyone feels/would feel exactly as I do. When I’m not there, I kind of wish I was. It’s hard to remember, moreso as time passes between visits. The parts that are great and the smaller parts. The parts that hurt. It’s hard to remember exactly what it feels like and how it’s different— but it is different! It’s hard to remember what you can see through the windows of that room.

I.

Like how many things are made of paper and smoke; they look solid, but you can push through them with a thought. Paper walls don’t have to contain you. The difference between you and an ant is not very much (zoom in) is everything (zoom in again) is nonsense; there are just shapes and pieces of material (zoom out) is ordinary and vast. You can hold her in your hand and you’ll never know each other, but you’ll know she’s there.

XXI.

The difference between you and a house is that houses were built to serve you. Similarities: good bones, weeping, black mold. The joy of inhabitants. You, the dream of so many cells, so many bacteria. The culmination of so many thoughts inside your brain, which you know looks and feels like clay. A clay city of ghosts. A maze of many rooms. A million tiny yous looking back through the windows, and then other things behind them (it’s not just solipsism). Other things like quick flashes of lightning, patterns.

X.

It’s hard to remember any of that. Yeah, it’s like trying to smell the air off the Ionian Sea by looking at old vacation photos. That specific quality of the air, not your general impression of what it was like, synthesized later. The air as you breathed it in the moment, in that specific place, at a specific time.

Only the place and time I’m talking about may be reachable, may come back, may be called.

#iykyk i guess #i feel like some of you are going to find this very cheesy and obvious and some are going to be like 'lol whut so cryptic' #that's the way it goes! #poetry

[qkluckity]

still thinking about that awful tierlist i saw on twitter the other day. it screamed "i only watch one (1) streamer and since he hasn't been there in months i keep up by watching clips of other english streamers" lmao because wdym maxo straight up disappeared he's one of the most lore relevant characters from the start, bffr

#.txt #iykyk i guess #maybe I'll share it here just to be petty

[detectivelokis]

Thank you to @nightbloodraelle @jinfromyarikawa @madparadoxum @shegetsburned @baldurrs @voidika @phillipsgraves @socially-awkward-skeleton @kyber-infinitygems @clonesupport @direwombat @derelictheretic @simonxriley @fourlittleseedlings for tagging me in this picrew 🖤

Tagging: @sstewyhosseini @nightwingshero @marivenah @confidentandgood @ghastlyrider @poisonedtruth @gwynbleidd @captastra @risingsh0t @hopelesscounty @aceghosts @eclecticwildflowers @vampireninjabunnies-blog @indorilnerevarine @euryalex @leviiackrman @clicheantagonist @josephslittledeputy

Charlie Berger (Various): absolutely smitten as she watches her partner cause chaos.

Annie King (AC: Syndicate): distraught after discovering the truth about her betrothed. At least the cute assassin who has been annoying her lent her a coat and helped her home.

#using gender neutral terms since they’re not all men anymore #iykyk i guess #and Annie is very much coping with having had a crush on a would be cousin fucker #such is life #oc: charlie berger #oc: annie king #picrew tag

[mossyvamp]

vampire orgy where everyone sucks each others blood

#iwtv movie #vampire #vampirekin #vampcore #vampir #bat #vampire memes #gothic vampire #vampirism #iykyk i guess

[doomdays]

#iykyk i guess #i want to remove like. half my characters. and add more idk my brain hurts <3 #i want more horror muses frankly. thats besides the point rn but #ooc.

[flowers-and-beskar]

Media literacy lesson Nr. 1:

Readings and interpretations are not canon. Because they are readings and interpretations.

#iykyk I guess #media literacy #i’m tired

[lady-astras]

THIS SONG TOO CHEERFUL TO BE PUTTING ETHO THROUGH A SAWMILL.

#hermitcraft #ethoslab #writing #astra writes yo what? #by the way #the song is #run by onerepublic #iykyk i guess #🎶

[yiga-hellhole]

my unglopped poat has reached my dash again..... via my ghirahim mutuals. organic. healthy. all is as it should be. i am at peace. this is a bernard moment fr

#iykyk i guess #madman's rambling