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#ive drawn so much shit today

multimystica · 2 months

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Card of the Day

The image of the 3 cards is the same as the last post but the results are different, I guarantee.

Here we go, take a deep breath, exhale relaxing, think of your situation of choice to get info/advice on and pick a card.

Now we go for the long vertical line of dots so y'all can't see the results before actually choosing a card... Edited to remove the line and add keep reading button.

Card 1 - The Magician

Willpower and manifestation! This card pretty much means you can do whatever the fuck you want right now. If you have a goal, go for it, you have everything you need to succeed, just do it right now. Whatever goal you have in mind right now just picture Shia LaBeauf's JUST DO IT!!! Take a look at this card:

Believe it or not, you're ready. Take control of your life, all it takes is maintaining your willpower. The advice for today is to align your intentions with your actions right now. Stay focused on your goals, have a vision of what you want, have the intent and take action. This is the right time to apply your power. Amazing or even miraculous things may happen for you today, the stars are aligned for you. Willpower, stepping into your power, being ambitious and determined, and showcasing your talents are main themes for today. It may also be quite useful to take a look at what resources you currently have available to you in this moment and make use of them. Again, step into your power.

Card 2 - IV of Pentacles

Caution. Okay, well, this card brings many different meanings with it (some of which may oppose each other), and it may be hard to tell which one applies to you right now. Both are about caution, security and control. I'll do my best to explain both meanings in a way you can figure out which is meant to you, but it may still be a tough one. Take a look at the card beforehand:

If you've been controlling and holding tight what you currently have - This card may be a warning to loosen up a bit. While security and control may be great at bringing a sense of peace, it may also make you loose a lot of opportunities.

If you're in a relationship in which you're afraid of the person leaving - Beware, excess of control and holding too tightly onto this person might be what cause them to feel suffocated and drift apart, which would then be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just chill a bit and know when to give them space, do not be controlling over their friend groups, outings, etc or you might just cause the thing you fear is going to happen.

If you been just letting everything go or taking every risk you can lately - This might actually be the time to stop and hold on to some things, work on financial security, or just stay where you are and do not take a risk for today.

If your home has been cluttered - Today is the best day to declutter your home and make giveaways or yard-sales!

IN ANY CASE - Financial security is relevant at this moment, this can also be true in terms of emotional security, whatever your case may be, build a solid foundation, think twice when taking any risks today, this may also apply to communication as well. Proper balance of holding on and letting go, be it in any area of life, is very important right now. Being cautious is also relevant (if you're always TOO cautious, be less cautious. If you're not being cautious lately, THIS IS THE TIME TO BE).

Card 3 - V of Cups

Loss. The usual meaning of this card is quite short and simple, you lost (or are be about to loose) something important to you today (no shit sherlock!). This card speaks of emotional suffering and of how much attention is paid to that loss. Take a look at the card:

The depiction of the card, in this case, speaks for itself. The loss is painful no matter what you lost (be it a thing or a person it was dear to you), and your attention is drawn to it. It is a tough time to look at the brighter side of things, I get how hard it can be, but the advice this card brings is to look around to what you still have. Find comfort and peace on that which you still have, value what's still there. It's okay to suffer that loss and process those feelings in your own time, but don't forget what you still have. Suffer at first, then pick yourself up and carry on valuing what you still have in a optimistic way. In case this was the death of a person: I'm sorry for your loss, it's okay to grief, and the advice here might be to look around for people you can rely on at this tough time, you don't have to go through this alone.

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bluewinnerangel · 1 year

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Absolutely stuck on the overwhelming amount of louis today so I'm just gonna turn that energy into recapping everything that made my heart melt today (warning I love all things):

his close to 1.5 hrs late grandpa entrance pls, and that security said it was because he was having lunch

the place was playing his Tour Bus Playlist yey

the many pictures and videos of him looking up at fans, full of love and smiles and warmth and mhm fuck this

when a fan asked him to write "bisexual rights" rainbows and crying emojis go here

him getting real confused when asked to write "nothing's changed" because he was thinking of the line "some things change" instead like mans wrote an album full of lines "contradicting himself" (his words) including a massive pile of "change" everywhere dont play

his face when the fan with the trans flag was talking to him

when a fan said "you're really beautiful" and he responded with "hahaha nice one"

when a fan asked if he knew her twitter because she does piano covers of his songs and he was like YEAH THE PIANO YEAH YEAH YEAH I SEE YOU ALL THE TIME *sparkly eyes*

when a fan asked him to write "hey babe" and he laughed like "hahaha yeah" like just the tone you gotta hear it he knows everything were fine

saying he likes "i choked when your smoke got in me eye" just hearing him say and put emphasis on that line.

so. much. football. talk. here's one

on that note him making this lil shit face when he told a fan their team was gonna lose

when a fan was wearing the green nike jumper he wore recently and he said "ive got that jumper - i know you know that already"

the little wave to the people in the screen

him saying hes not gonna draw a heart "only because im fucking shit at drawing hearts" and then drawing a heart and ye she quirky but i hope he knows that makes it even better

or when a fan asked to draw a little star and his response was to ask them whether they wanted it "5 sides or 6" and "I've not drawn a star in years" again excusing his drawing and then draws a star just fine

writing "we'll be alright"

his lil hiya's and nice one's and cheers'

^Seriously the way he greeted everyone was so early 1d days signings esque im not coping with the passage of time rn

the gum chewing

that a fan told him OTB wasn't a lonely song anymore

"YOU LOOK ROUGH LADS GHAGHAGHAGHA GHA GHAHGHGHA"

When a fan told him "if france wins the game you have to sing angels fly next week" he immediately went "but what about if england win" and told the fan if england win they have to show up in an england shirt at their next gig in france and then his crew apparently very much in on his betting behavior dead serious going REMEMBER HER FACE! REMEMBER HER FACE! ILL REMEMBER HER FACE and then they also thanked the fan lol

the harry meme shirt lookin eyein gazin smirkin seein perceivin happenin

his jumper. that's it.

yk his hair also.

eyes.

The whole chat about AFH in Mexico within the next 5 years and that video especially these frames thank you

personal favorite: when he was asked to write Faith In The Future's initials and he kept looking at the title on his own album cover to make sure he got the right letters

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notbornbutforged · 1 year

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Stay Awake

Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Wanda, a doctor, falls in love with her patient, Y/n, a terminally ill young woman with a short life span.

Warning: fluff-angst, death, I genuinely feel kinda bad for making this but anyways grrr

Word Count: 4.6k

"Oh? My favorite doctor is here today?" Y/n asks in between coughs. Her voice sounds scratchy and broken, she is only able to speak to Wanda through her mask and IV tube that is attached to the crook of her arm. She smiles weakly, eyes half-lidded as she reaches over to grab Wanda's hand.

Wanda squeezes back and gives the girl a sad smile as she turns back to Y/n. "How are you feeling?" She asks quietly, leaning into Y/n's touch. She can feel Y/n's fingers trembling against hers from how cold they are despite being so warm. It hurts to see her this way.

Y/n just shrugs, "Not good, but it's not like I have much time left anyway." She smiles again as if trying to lighten the mood, "It's nice seeing you again, Doc." She whispers, voice barely audible.

Wanda swallows thickly. Her throat is suddenly dry and hot. She blinks rapidly as tears sting at her eyes, blinking fast in an attempt to push them away. "I told you before, you don't need to call me 'Doc,' Y/n."

Y/n just shrugs again, "But it's easier to remember that way. Makes things easy for me." She pauses, looking up at the ceiling as she tries to remember something. Then she looks back at Wanda, "Do you know what day it is?" She asks hesitantly, looking around the room like she expects someone else to be there to hear.

"No…why?" Wanda asks slowly, watching as Y/n closes her eyes tightly, frowning. After a minute or two of silence, she opens her eyes again, looking up at the ceiling. Her expression changes gradually, confusion giving way to a look of pain on her face.

Wanda reaches for Y/n's hand again but is cut off by a sharp gasp. She looks down at Y/n's face to find that Y/n has curled up slightly, face contorted in discomfort and breathing harshly. The girl clutches onto Wanda's hand like her life depends on it.

"Shit…" Wanda mutters to herself, extracting her arm from Y/n's slack grip, which has started to slip out of her grasp. "Y/n, hey, open your eyes," Wanda gently coaxes, shaking Y/n's shoulder, "Come on-" Y/n groans loudly in response, causing another bout of coughing from the sound alone.

Wanda frantically grabs the bag she brings in with her earlier and digs around inside it, pulling out all sorts of syringes and other medical equipment. "Okay, okay…stay still, it'll be alright." She says in a soothing tone as she holds onto Y/n's wrist.

"No… It's fine…" Y/n mumbles through labored breathing, reaching for Wanda's hand again. Her hold is strong like Wanda's presence is her lifeline. "I'm fine… Just stay. Don't leave…" Y/n wheezes out.

Wanda bites her lip, unsure how to handle this situation. "Can you tell me where you're hurting? Maybe I could help." She offers softly, squeezing Y/n's hand.

Y/n shakes her head feverishly, "No, it's fine! I'm fine, really. It doesn't hurt at all, honest!" she lies through gritted teeth. Wanda can practically feel the panic radiating off of Y/n. "It's just a little headache, nothing serious!" Y/n insists, trying to sound reassuring. Her hand slips completely out of Wanda's now, leaving her to awkwardly adjust her IV stand, taking her mask off.

"It will get worse, you know?" Wanda points out quietly, her voice sounding choked and hoarse. She hates this, hates seeing Y/n like this. Y/n's face is pale and drawn, she looks absolutely miserable. There are dark circles underneath her eyes, the same ones that are usually present under Y/n's eyelids even when sleeping. "I'm your doctor-"

Y/n interrupts her, her voice strained. "Nope, nothing to worry about. I promise. Really, I am perfectly fine." The girl reassures as she pulls her mask up, looking determined. Her eyes are clear and bright behind the glass of her mask. Wanda feels a sense of helplessness washes over her.

She shakes her head, "You know that's not true Y/n." She places one of her hands gently over the girl's own, "Your temperature is rising. Your lungs are failing faster than we anticipated. You could go into a respiratory arrest if you haven't already. If you keep this up-" Wanda cuts herself off, swallowing thickly once more, "Don't try and lie to me, it's no fun."

The corners of Y/n's mouth lift into a wobbly smirk as she lets out a shaky exhale. "Well, I can always count on my sweet, caring, compassionate doctor Wanda." She teases lightly, attempting to ease the tension that seems to hang in the air. She winces, biting the inside of her cheek. She clears her throat and continues, "I'm just being silly. It's just a headache. I've had these before and I'm fine." She finishes stubbornly.

Wanda sighs, closing her eyes briefly. "Y/n-" Wanda begins, but is cut off yet again by Y/n.

"Please stop worrying. I'm fine," Y/n says, her voice soft as she pleads. She shifts, her face contorting in pain as she does so.

Wanda immediately takes Y/n's hand again and holds on tight. "Alright, alright, I won't say anything anymore. Now, why don't we talk about something less stressful, hmm?" She suggests hopefully.

Y/n nods gratefully and sits up properly, pulling herself closer to Wanda. They sit facing each other and Wanda can almost physically feel the relief wash over Y/n. She lets out a content sigh and leans in slightly, resting her forehead against Wanda's.

Wanda chuckles at this, pressing forward too. They remain locked together for a few seconds until Y/n breaks the silence. "Stop distracting me with those eyes, Dr. Maximoff." She says, grinning, though her expression is far from humorous. She sounds tired. Wearied.

"What eyes?" Wanda teases, feigning innocence despite knowing full well what Y/n means.

Y/n raises an eyebrow, "A look full of curiosity, love, concern, and affection. That sorta thing. You know exactly what I mean," Y/n states simply, a teasing look creeping its way across her features.

Red spreads across Wanda's cheeks and ears as she flushes bright red. "You are impossible," she tells Y/n with a small laugh.

Y/n laughs too, albeit a tiny bit breathlessly. "Am I really?" She smirks.

Wanda rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes you are. Now go to sleep." Wanda orders, giving Y/n's hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'll sleep if you guessed what day it is today," Y/n bargains, ignoring Wanda's last statement. She looks amused despite her current circumstances. A playful grin plays along the edges of her lips as she waits for a reply.

Wanda hums thoughtfully for a moment, thinking hard on whether or not she'd guessed correctly. "Is it Tuesday?" she asks finally.

Imitating Wanda's words from earlier, Y/n pouts her lips mockingly. "Wrong!"

"Then let me guess again! Is it Wednesday? Or Thursday?" Wanda asks as she makes a show of counting on her fingers.

Y/n giggles, shaking her head as she moves to shake her own hands dramatically. "It's not about the date, silly."

Wanda smiles, "Then what is it?" She asks eagerly.

Y/n smirks evilly, raising one of her eyebrows challengingly. "That would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it? And besides, I don't think you want to spoil the fun."

Wanda rolls her eyes but doesn't protest. "Fine then, I concede defeat." She smiles widely, unable to hide her happiness.

Y/n's smile widens and she rests her head comfortably against Wanda's chest again. "Then about my prize…"

"Prize?"

"Yes. Well, you guess wrong so I need a reward…" Y/n mumbles, trailing off. "It's only fair."

"Oh…oh right, the reward. How did I forget?" Wanda mocks herself, holding back a laugh. "What do you want then?"

"…can you kiss me?" Y/n murmurs against Wanda's chest, her face turning slightly pink as she speaks. She doesn't raise her head again, choosing to watch the patterns the moonlight creates on the wall instead.

Wanda freezes for a second, taken aback. "Excuse me?" she asks tentatively, as if asking someone who just committed a serious offense.

Y/n shrugs nonchalantly, not bothering to raise her gaze from the wall. "I said can you kiss me?" She repeats without missing a beat.

Wanda's heart skips a beat as the word 'kiss' leaves Y/n's lips and she freezes. 'Why would she want that?' She thinks in alarm. Y/n knows better than anyone else how much Wanda is attracted to her, and yet here she is, asking Wanda to kiss her?

"I…uhh…" she stutters out. She tries to calm down, to think of what to do. This is just Y/n after all. She wouldn't ask Wanda to do anything that she didn't want to. "But I'm your Doctor." She adds with a nervous chuckle.

Y/n lifts her head up and gives Wanda a sheepish smile. "So? It's my prize. For winning this whole guessing game." She explains innocently. Her innocent tone makes Wanda feel uneasy.

"Y/n, that's-" Wanda starts nervously, her hand subconsciously caressing Y/n's cheek.

"I promise you won't regret it," Y/n whispers soothingly, a small smile still on her face.

Wanda blinks, still somewhat confused. Y/n just wants to be kissed by her…? "I…um…are you sure?" Wanda asks hesitantly.

Y/n nods confidently, "Yeah. Just do it. Kiss me already." She says, clearly annoyed at how long this conversation has been taking.

Wanda swallows thickly again, trying desperately to avoid looking anywhere near Y/n's lips. Her heart races and her thoughts seem to race along at lightspeed. She's frozen in place. "Do you really think-"

Before Wanda can finish her sentence, Y/n quickly leans forward and presses their lips together. She closes her eyes and revels in the soft sensation of Y/n's lips. The kiss is sweet and tender and filled with promises both physical and verbal. Y/n kisses Wanda as if her life depends on it, as if her life depends on it.

Wanda feels Y/n's warm, delicate hands rest on the sides of her neck; she slowly wraps her arms around Y/n's slender waist, bringing her closer. It lasts only a few moments and Wanda is overwhelmed. Everything is fuzzy and she can hardly make out any coherent thoughts. All she knows is that Y/n's kisses taste sweeter than anything.

Pulling away, only the sounds of Y/n's ragged breathing and the beeping of the machines surrounding her fill Wanda's ears. Y/n doesn't open her eyes until her breathing evens out a bit and Wanda removes her hands from the younger girl's hips, only to intertwine her fingers with Y/n's.

She looks up at Y/n shyly. "Was that okay?" She mumbles softly, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

Y/n lifts her head, looking at Wanda. "More than okay. You're wonderful, Dr. Maximoff." Y/n whispers, smiling gently.

Wanda's face turns even more pink. She can feel her lips twitch into a small smile. They stay silent after that, staring lovingly at each other. There isn't a single ounce of tension left in the room now and it fills with happiness. After a while, Wanda leans forward to give Y/n another short peck on the lips, earning a happy giggle from the younger girl.

"Now," Y/n mutters suddenly, "For my second prize…"

Wanda quirks an eyebrow inquisitively at the sudden change in subject. "There's more?"

Y/n smirks. "Well yeah. Of course, there is." She replies, a mischievous sparkle shining in her eye.

"Okay…what's the second prize?" Wanda asks curiously.

This causes a wide, mischievous grin to spread across Y/n's face. "Hmm..let me think…" she trails off, tapping her chin lightly, looking at Wanda in deep concentration.

The corners of Wanda's mouth twitch upwards and she can't help the giggle from escaping her. "Well?" Wanda prompts.

Y/n stares down at their intertwined hands for a brief time before meeting Wanda's eyes once more. She inhales deeply, exhaling slowly to steady her nerves. "My second prize…is to stay awake." Her expression turns soft, pleading, as she looks directly into Wanda's eyes, as if begging her for permission.

"Stay awake?" Wanda repeats questioningly.

Y/n swallows heavily, looking nervous and hesitant all at once. "Yeah…stay awake…for as long as we"Hey, no…" Wanda mumbles gently as her own throat constricts at Y/n's words. "I don't want you to sleep. Not yet. Not tonight." She tells her, hoping Y/n knows exactly what she means without saying it. "But it's…I feel…so tired." Y/n whispers in response, pulling away just enough to look Wanda in the eye. "It hurts so much to breathe sometimes. To move. Even just to stand up. My chest…the whole place…and my lungs…they're getting worse." can. I want us to stay awake." She confesses, her voice quiet and shaky.

Wanda looks worried as Y/n looks at her nervously. "Why…?"

Y/n pauses before answering, averting her gaze. "Because…" Y/n trails off, staring intently at their hands. She bites her lip nervously. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, struggling to find her words.

Eventually, she gives up on saying anything else. She takes one final deep breath and looks back up at Wanda. "Because I…love you…and I need you here right now…" She mumbles. "So please?"

Wanda's breath catches in her throat, her heart swelling with warmth at Y/n's confession. She's unsure whether to cry or throw her arms around Y/n and never let go, she isn't sure which reaction she wants most. She's overwhelmed by emotions; happiness, joy, excitement, sorrow, fear, and anxiety all mixed together and swirling into a single chaotic mass in her gut. She feels like she's on cloud nine and can barely contain her emotions. But most importantly, her heart flutters happily in her chest, making her feel alive. Her heart flutters happily because Y/n loves her back.

Y/n watches her expectantly with hopeful eyes, her expression hopeful and vulnerable; her entire body tensed up in anticipation. Her eyes seem to plead for Wanda to say yes. If Wanda agrees, she will know exactly what that means.

And although Wanda hasn't quite figured out why Y/n is asking her to stay awake, she doesn't have to figure it out anymore. Her heart tells her everything she needs to know. Her heart tells her it wants them to be together. It always has wanted them to be together.

"I'll stay awake with you but only if you stay awake too," Wanda mumbles with a small chuckle. She squeezes Y/n's hand and brings it to her chest, feeling her beating heart through the fabric of her shirt.

"That's fair." Y/n smiles, squeezing back tightly with her own hand. "It's a deal then."

"Deal." Wanda confirms happily and smiles widely as well.

They sit there in silence after, both looking at each other happily. Their hands are still connected between them and they aren't letting go anytime soon.

"So what do you wanna do now?" Wanda asks with a teasing smirk, breaking the comfortable silence that surrounded them during that momentary moment.

Y/n laughs in amusement. "I was thinking…you should choose what we do tonight as your prize." She suggests playfully, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"My prize?"

Y/n gives her an innocent smile. "You heard me. Your. Prize. It's only fair you get a prize too! The loser's prize."

Wanda laughs out loud, her laughter filling the whole room. A soft blush appears on her cheeks as she looks at Y/n. She shakes her head and sighs happily. "Let's start our night!"

And with that, the two girls did everything they possibly could for the next couple of hours, keeping their promise to stay awake. Y/n kept insisting on picking movies and snacks. She insisted on playing board games with Wanda. And they laughed so much at some silly things. They talked about everything under the moon. They made each other laugh till their stomachs hurt. They spent time watching movies they haven't seen before together. They played board games and ate lots of chocolate.

Finally, they decided on watching a horror movie together, not wanting to watch anything else. Once the movie started, Y/n couldn't stop herself from looking at Wanda, studying her every move with interest. At first, the latter didn't notice, her attention mostly focused on the scary movie. However, Wanda noticed her intense stare eventually. "What? Do I have something on my face?" She asks Y/n.

Y/n immediately shakes her head, snapping out of whatever trance she'd fallen into just a few minutes ago. "No! No. No, no, no. Nothing like that. You're fine." She replies quickly. "Just…just keep watching, I guess."

"Uh huh…" Wanda hums suspiciously, narrowing her eyes slightly in suspicion. She lets out an amused chuckle. "Whatever you say, Y/n." turning back to watch the movie.

As usual, Y/n tries to follow along in the movie. However, she finds herself staring at Wanda's beautiful face again. She feels the urge to reach out and touch her beautiful, tousled red hair. The urge grows stronger when she notices a light sprinkling of freckles scattered across Wanda's face. She wants to trace them carefully with her finger.

"You're doing it again," Wanda notes out loud, her lips curving into a small smile.

Y/n blinks at her in confusion. "Huh? Doing what?"

Wanda chuckles. "You're staring again."

"Oh! Sorry." Y/n quickly apologizes, looking down bashfully.

She hears Wanda shift beside her. "Is everything alright?"

"Mhm. Everything's fine." Y/n answers quietly.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Wanda breaks it again. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Y/n shakes her head. "Not really…I'm okay now."

Wanda hums in acknowledgment, deciding not to push any further. Instead, she continues watching the movie. Moments of silence pass again until, "If you don't mind me asking," Wanda speaks up, "Why were you acting so weird this day? Like…really weird?" She asks curiously.

"You know what I mean," Wanda says. "…Asking about what it is today, the prizes, the mood swings, the looks…the sudden confes- You seemed different than normal."

Silence falls again and it isn't a comfortable silence either. It's a tense, heavy one. And Wanda can tell something is off. It's almost like the air is thickening. Almost like she is holding her breath, waiting for the moment when Y/n decides to finally open up and share what's bothering her.

Suddenly, Y/n let out a low chuckle, causing Wanda to look over at her quizzically. "Are you alright?" she asks hesitantly, her voice laced with concern.

"Hm? Oh, yeah! Yeah, I am." Y/n replies quickly in response. "I just remembered something funny." She says brightly, offering Wanda a friendly grin. It's clearly forced though, Wanda thinks. "This is supposed to be your prize, having the power to choose what we do but it ended up with me choosing instead. That's pretty unfair of me." She teases lightly.

"Stop changing the subject," Wanda warns gently, raising an eyebrow at her.

Y/n frowns faintly at her tone and lowers her smile as she stares at Wanda. They both fall silent again after that, Wanda sitting quietly and staring back at Y/n.

There's a moment of tension when neither of them speaks. It lingers throughout the air, suffocating, suffocating, suffocating. Eventually, Y/n speaks first. "Do you know what day it is today?"

Wanda groans annoyedly. "Y/n-" She cuts herself off as she sees Y/n's facial expression. There's a mixture of sadness and disappointment. "No… I don't."

"September 11th. The day we met." Y/n tells her softly, lowering her gaze towards her hands resting in her lap, the fingers drumming nervously against her thigh. "…Also the day I got diagnosed with lung cancer."

"Y/n…" Wanda whispers, taking ahold of Y/n's left hand and intertwining their fingers. She rubs her thumb along Y/n's knuckles soothingly.

After a long pause, Wanda whispers "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Y/n whispers, furrowing her brows. Wanda doesn't answer right away. Her eyes never leave Y/n's face.

Wanda doesn't answer right away. Her eyes never leave Y/n's face.

"It's not your fault, okay?" Y/n says reassuringly. "Don't blame yourself, Doc. You just did your job and you did it brilliantly. You immediately recognized all the signs and you tried your best to cure me… or lessen the pain at least. And I appreciate that."

"Did my 'Best'. Not everything." Wanda argues quickly. "I failed you, Y/n. I failed you…"

Shaking her head vigorously, Y/n pulls Wanda closer to herself, leaning down and resting her forehead against hers. She holds Wanda's chin in her palm and makes her look up at her. "You saved me. You've saved me so many times already." She explains softly, running her thumb slowly back and forth against Wanda's jawline. "I'm still here because of you."

Wanda doesn't even think twice anymore, leaning forward to connect their lips in an intimate kiss. Y/n's lips feel soft and warm against hers, their movements gentle. The kiss lingers longer than necessary for either of them but they don't care.

They want more of each other. They want to savor every single second of their kissing, feeling their lips pressed against each other. Kissing each other. Touching each other. Feeling each other. They love how close their lips are to each other. They love feeling each other's bodies press against theirs.

Wanda could taste the salty tears that escaped Y/n's eyes. But Wanda doesn't make a sound. She only tightens her grip around Y/n's waist, pulling her even closer so their bodies are pressed together. She kisses Y/n gently. As if giving her a way out from any kind of pain or discomfort.

Y/n pulls away for a brief second, looking Wanda in the eye. "I'm sorry." Y/n mumbles, tears streaming down her face.

Wanda wipes them away, cupping her cheek tenderly. "Why are you apologizing?" She questions softly.

This just makes Y/n sob harder, shaking her head as she leans into Wanda's touch. "You deserve better than me, Wanda. You deserve someone who will love you forever and you deserve somebody with whom you can share a lifetime."

Wanda frowns sadly at Y/n. She runs her hand through Y/n's tangled, unruly hair, smiling softly at the brunette. She cups her cheek again. "That's not true, Y/n." She reassures softly, wiping another tear from her face, making Y/n gasp and look away embarrassedly, embarrassed by how emotional she sounds.

Wanda giggles softly at that. "Hey…" She whispers. Y/n turns her head back toward her. "I'm always going to love you no matter what happens. I'll be there whenever you need me, alright?"

Y/n sniffles loudly, nodding weakly as she brings her arms around Wanda's neck to hug her tighter, burying her face against Wanda's neck and pressing her lips firmly against her skin.

"I'm sorry, Wanda." She whispers between hiccuping breaths. "I got tired of keeping myself alive…tired of fighting to survive…tried my hardest to stay sane and happy. I was trying so hard, but then I saw you and I felt happy. Happy that someone was willing to fight with me even when you had no reason to do so. Even after you found out I have cancer, you stayed determined enough to keep fighting despite the fact that there's no longer any possible hope…"

Wanda squeezes Y/n's waist lightly as she feels the warmth of tears soaking her shirt. Her heart aches to hear such painful confessions come from the girl in her arms, and the sight alone hurts Wanda inside even more.

"I'm tired, Wanda…so tired." Y/n repeats, her voice breaking slightly. "I just want to rest now."

"Hey, no…" Wanda mumbles gently as her own throat constricts at Y/n's words. "I don't want you to sleep. Not yet. Not tonight." She tells her, hoping Y/n knows exactly what she means without saying it.

"But it's…I feel…so tired." Y/n whispers in response, pulling away just enough to look Wanda in the eye. "It hurts so much to breathe sometimes. To move. Even just to stand up. My chest…the whole place…and my lungs…they're getting worse."

"I know…I know." Wanda responds gently as she brushes back a strand of Y/n's messy brown hair behind her ear. "But it'll get better, sweetheart. Just hang in there for a bit longer, alright? We're supposed to stay awake."

"For as long as we can…" Y/n mumbles softly as she closes her eyes, sighing deeply before opening them again and looking straight into Wanda's gaze. "And I can't- I'm at my limit now, Doc. I can't hold on any longer." She reveals worriedly, a small hint of panic evident in her features. Her bottom lip trembles and she tries her absolute hardest to suppress the emotion bubbling in her chest. "My body…it's shutting down…I can't fight it anymore."

Wanda sucks in a deep breath as she shakes her head slowly. "But… We just started, Y/n. How can you give up now? How can you possibly give up while we have this chance?!" She exclaims frantically, trying desperately to convince Y/n to stick around.

Y/n looks away guiltily, biting at her lip. "It's selfish of me, isn't it, Doc?" She questions sadly. "To have me confess my love to you on the same day I want to rest. I'm sorry, I really am. But I just had this brilliant idea. That could at least make the rest less painful. Just how wrong I was…" She lets out a sad chuckle.

"Confessing to you… Spending my day with you didn't lessen the pain but it gave me a sense of peace. A feeling of complete and utter happiness. It made me feel content to be leaving by knowing that I finally confessed to you, spend my last moments with you, and surprisingly… you liked me back."

Wanda bit her lip in response, holding back tears. 'I didn't just like you… I love you…' She wanted to say, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. "I wish things were different," Wanda admits quietly. "We would be happier now."

Y/n smiles weakly, rubbing at her eyes with her free hand. She leans forward and rests her forehead on Wanda's once again. "Yeah…Me too."

The two sit on Y/n's bed in silence. Wanda wraps her arm around Y/n's waist, laying her head against her chest as she listens to the steady sound of Y/n's heartbeat. They don't exchange any more words for a few minutes, simply enjoying each others' company silently.

"Do know… I won't feel any pain." Y/n eventually murmurs, bringing Wanda back into reality. "When I rest, everything will be over. It's all gonna go away…" Her voice gets quieter, her smile vanishing completely. "Everything."

Wanda sobs softly, tightening her hold around Y/n, placing a soft kiss on the side of the brunette's head, unable to bear to lose her after everything that has happened so far.

A tear slides from Wanda's eyes and drops onto Y/n's chest. She doesn't bother wiping it away, instead letting it fall freely. Instead of crying about it, she just smiles sadly at the brunette, her hands moving to cradle her jaw. She presses their lips together again, her hand trailing down to intertwine their fingers again, squeezing tightly. She takes a shaky breath as they pull away again, closing her eyes briefly. When she opens them, a single tear falls, and it's the first time that Wanda allows herself to let them all out.

"I love you… I'll be fine… You can rest now." She says softly, brushing the tear away with her thumb and caressing the side of Y/n's cheek.

Y/n smiled sadly, her hand pressed against Wanda's chest, leaning closer to her ear, she whispers one final confession before she succumbs to unconsciousness. "I love you too. More than anything else."

Wanda sobs harder as she felt Y/n's body go limp in her arms, her head dropping to the side. Her hand stays on Y/n's cheek, the tears never stopping, hugging Y/n tightly against her, not wanting to ever let her go.

"Time of death: 2:37 AM."

#wanda x reader #wanda maximoff #mcu fic #angst prompt #fluff fic #lgbtq #wlw #marvel #fem!reader

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dearlymrme · 1 year

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Te lo meriti! (CopiaxReader)

Summary: A birthday present for my dearest @nocturnal-birb I did my best and hope you like it. This also goes out to all you folks who feel this way and need a Papa’s support and reassurance.

Copia x Reader || Papa Emeritus iv x Reader || Fluff || Comfort Fic || Established Relationship || Poorly Translated Italian || WC: 1716

You stand before Copia’s door with a manilla folder in hand full of official documents for him to sign off on. There’s a few about his next sermon, some to do with the next tour, and notices from the clergy.

You gently rapped your knuckles against his door, loud enough to get his attention while your other hand brushes invisible dust off your habit and straightens the small amount of wrinkles. You wish you had more time to tidy up. Your hair was being very uncooperative today and you had been in such a rush this morning that you had forgone makeup.

You hoped he wouldn’t mind that you didn’t look your best. However, knowing Copia, it’s not because of your makeup that he’s always staring at your face with his dopey lovesick eyes. You smile at imagining him getting distracted again in the midst of paperwork coercing you that neither of you get any work done.

“One minute!” You frown in concern at the sharpness of his voice, even behind the door. He sounds panicked.

“Papa?” You worry and jump when you hear a loud thump and yelp followed by cursing.

“Merda! Ti userò come legna da ardere!” It’s a hard thing to try and hold back a snicker when you hear him muttering curses at the furniture and wonder just what has him so unsettled that he’s bumping into things. You clearly caught him in the middle of something. You wait, expecting him to open the door but there is more shuffling from the other side before it goes quiet and then he clears his throat.

“Come in.”

You grab the handle and open the door, raising a brow at the dark room. The fireplace is out. The lights are off. The shades are drawn. The only light in the room is that from the now opened doorway, illuminating your Papa’s desk but even it is darkened by your own shadow. You tip your head curiously and reach for the light switch as you step into the room and close the door behind you.

For a split second the whole room was pitch black before you flip the switch and the lights came on, revealing…Just the office, but there are multicolored paper streamers hanging from the ceiling and not much else has changed besides the fact that on the coffee table to the side is a cake with candles and two glasses. It’s small but still just enough to make your stomach drop and the implications.

“Cazzo!” You're startled to set your gaze on the man right beside you. Copia, the most powerful figure in the church, your lover, was standing in such a position that he had to have been hiding in the shadow of the door when you opened it.

In his hand is a colorful cardboard cylinder, which he fumbles with awkwardly.

“Wait! Shit. I had this all planned out and-” He curses and you lift a hand to stop him.

“Copia.”

“AHA!”

And then there is a loud pop and glitter goes flying everywhere. You momentarily transfixed on the shimmering flakes as they catch the light and gracefully fall to the floor. The smell of the explosive breaks you out of your stupor and you glance back to Copia’s smiling and expecting face.

You open your mouth but no words come out and he misinterprets this as a good sign.

“It’s good, si? Took your breath away?” He grins and shakes his hands jazz-like to gesture at the cake and candles and streamers.

“I wondered why you never took your birthday off. You never even mentioned it, I had to look it up. Surprise!” He happily cheered. You bite your lip and take a unsteady breath as you walk over and drop the folder on his desk before turning and looking back at the door.

The brief idea of running away crosses your mind and then you look back to the small preparations he made for this and then at him who stands eager for your reaction, you flush with humiliation.

You lick your lip before crossing your arms over yourself and that causes him to drop his expecting smile. He tentatively approaches and begins to worry with his hands.

“Mia cuore, what is wrong? Don’t you like it?” He asked and you shake your head, looking down at the floor and rub at your arms with nervous energy

“It’s not that. It’s very nice Papa-” He flinches at the title because this is meant to be a moment between you, a happy moment, and when you are being happy together you use his name. You are not happy. You wince at your mistake, so clearly giving away your down mood that only goes further down. He worked hard on this, he wants to see you happy, you should be happy he went through all this effort.

“Copia.” You correct but the damage is done and he looks at you with worry and even a bit of hurt in his eyes. You lick your lips again as you try to figure out a way to explain it.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked and you quickly shook your head.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the problem. I don’t-” You gesture and swallow the knot forming in your throat. Your voice goes tight and what you say ends up a mutter in your shame.

“Say that again?” And you take a deep breath, dropping your arms and curling your fingers into fists at your side.

“You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“Of course I did. Today is a special day.” You shake your head and deny.

“No, you shouldn’t have…I…I’m not worth it.” You say, gesturing to the decorations, meager as they may be, he went and took time out of his busy schedule to put this together.

“You probably had so many other things you could have been doing.” You huff a pathetic attempt at a laugh to try and lighten your own mood but fail. “

Hell, I came to deliver you more paperwork. This is a busy time of the year for you, you know.” You clear your throat and then start to babble as you try to distract from the fact that you feel like absolute shit. Because he went through all this effort and you can’t even muster a smile at him.

You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve him.

“You’ve got the new tour to worry about. Assignments from the clergy. The sermons for next week. Meetings with officials from the Norwegian abbey in a month and-” You gesture to yourself.

“I’m like…You shouldn’t have taken time to…You got other things you could be doing than waste throwing me a party.” You snicker wetly and shake your head, “We need to work on getting your priorities in the right order.”

Copia gives a shocked gasp and you can’t even muster the courage to look at him, focused on the floor and the glitter that litters the carpet and will most certainly be a pain for the cleaners.

“Sorry, I’m gonna-” You make a move to leave and are halted as he snatched up one of your hands.

“Cara mia.” He says adoringly, sympathetically, concerned. You bite your lip and sniffle as it starts to strike at your heart. You still cannot meet his eyes, ashamed of the emotion that litters his voice that he’s wasting on you.

“Look at me?” He suggests in a gentle tone and when you still refuse he gently cups you by the chin with his thumb and guides your head up. Your eyes remain on the floor and your cheeks burn. “Amore, please.”

That breaks you and you finally look at him and wince when you see heartbreak in his eyes. It makes you feel one hundred percent worse.

“La mia amica del cuore. You listen carefully.” You nod as a tear streaks down your cheek.

“My priorities are in order.” He explains.

“Getting you to smile, to be happy, to blush and to laugh?” He smiles at you and moves his hand from your chin to wipe away your tears.

“That is one of my highest priorities.”

It absolutely strangles your heart that such a sweet man can say such sweet things to you, of all people, he says these things to you. And the way he looks at you with such a soft expression and concern on his face as he brings your hand to his lips and presses gentle kisses to your knuckles.

It makes you choke and flush embarrassedly.

“I think this is a momentous day, you know.” You sniff and don’t resist when he pulls you close before wrapping his arms around you, thumbing your shoulder gently and pressing a hard kiss to the top of your head. “This is the day you were born, mia cuore. And if you hadn't been born I would have never met you.”

“I don’t know who has told you or led you to believe that you're not worth celebrating but I have some harsh words for them.” He clicks his tongue. “Who? Who has told you that you are not worth it?” He asks you and you shrug, neglecting to answer but he picks up the silent clue too well.

“Oh, well then I have some harsh words for you.”

He places another kiss on your head and hits you with what he deems are cold hard facts.

“You are worth it.” He kisses your forehead.

“You do deserve it.” And he tips your head up once more to claim your lips with his own.

“I love you, mia amore.”

“And I will throw as many birthday parties as it takes before you start believing it. I will not rest until I get these tears of sadness to turn into tears of joy.” He promises before claiming your lips again in a sweet peck.

You sniff before wrapping your arms around his chest and nuzzling your face into his shoulder. A tremble runs through you as he glides his fingers through your hair and strokes your arm.

It’s spoken like a promise. It’s kept like a vow.

“As many hugs. As many kisses. As many parties. As many presents. As many as it takes before you see yourself as worthy of it as I do. Anything and everything, my heart.”

#copia #copia x reader #cardinal copia #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus #papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus iv x reader #ghost band #ghost the band #the band ghost #reader insert #dee writes #comfort fic #@nocturnal-birb

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plague-of-insomnia · 9 months

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The Promise AU: A Sebard Love Story

I’m very proud of this AU, and it’s very personal for me. I realized I couldn’t find a post for the first part of this series here on tumblr. So I decided to make a new post with links to all the currently published parts of this story. I would love if you read it and commented if you enjoyed it!

Please see individual pieces for their ratings and tags, as they vary.

Part I: The Promise

Sebastian pressed his head against Bard’s chest as if he were trying to meld them as one, letting loose a long, drawn-out sigh. “What’dyou do this time,” he mumbled, his breathing beginning to even out.

Bard held Sebastian, rubbing the other’s back in soft, soothing circles, rolling his eyes and scoffing. “Why does everyone assume I’m to blame?”

Relaxing further, the tall man began to grow heavy against Bard. “Tell me again, please?”

Bard wrapped a leg around one of Sebastian’s, as if his arms weren’t enough to keep his husband secure. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. Not today, not ever. I will protect you. I promise .”

Part II: Staying Afloat

Bard carefully perched on the edge of the bed beside his husband and linked his fingers with Sebastian’s far longer, more elegant ones, smoother, not covered in calluses and old burns. “We will get through this. Together. I promise.”

That made Sebastian smile faintly, even as tears struggled to break through. He refused to let them fall. Not now. He had shed more than enough over the past few weeks, and he was ready to stop wallowing in self pity and start trying to fight again. It was tiring being buffeted by waves constantly, but he wasn’t alone. He had someone to hold him when he felt ready to give in to keep him from sliding beneath the surface. Someone to help him stay afloat, to support and cherish him.

Part III: A Hopeful Halloween

“I got to cross ‘virgin’ off my sex bucket list.”

“Bard . . . I wasn’t—”

Shaking him subtly, as if to emphasize his point, Bard stared hard into his husband’s eyes, to leave no doubt that he was sincere. “You were to me.”

Sebastian’s lip and chest trembled. He slapped a hand over his mouth, but a sob burst through anyway.

“Hey, hey, shit. I’m sorry. I‘m an idiot. Forget I said anything.”

Sniffling, Sebastian shook his head emphatically. “Thank you.” He drew his fingers along Bard’s sideburn, scratching the stubble, making his husband shiver. “You never saw me as tainted, did you?”

Surprised, Bard replied, “Never.”

Part IV: Riptide

Kissing Bard always felt like coming home .

A home that Sebastian actually wanted. A home where he felt safe and loved. Licking his lips, savoring the taste of cigarettes and beer and Bard , he stared into his husband’s beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that had never looked at him with pity or disgust.

Absently, he trailed his fingers along Bard’s five o’clock shadow; he’d always loved the way the stubble tickled. A stark difference from the near flawless, hairless, overly-soft skin of his uncle.

Sebastian wanted to tell Bard out loud how much he appreciated and loved him, but the words caught in his throat.

Part V & Part VI: Coming Soon

Fan art originally by @geekeciel

#black butler #黒執事 #sebastian michaelis #bardroy #sebard #the promise au #fan art #fan fic fan art #riptide #staying afloat #a hopeful halloween #fan fic #modern au #poi writes #poi og

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bihansthot · 8 months

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I’m probably not going to be around much today lovelies, as I mentioned earlier in the week it’s the 25th anniversary of my heart transplant and ngl it’s weird. I’m in a weird place today, I’m trying really hard not to be sad or upset or think about how traumatic that night was. I don’t remember a lot about the night but I remember the phone ringing late at night maybe just after midnight and I remember going into my parents bedroom, they didn’t have to come get me, and I said “it’s time”, I just knew it as soon as I heard the phone and they confirmed it and we relatively calmly got our stuff and drove to the hospital. I had no idea what I was getting into and had I known, I would have not reacted as calmly as I did. I remember they had to draw blood before the procedure to use during the operation, I remember it taking over 25 attempts to get all the blood they needed and I was sobbing, I was in so much pain and I absolutely hated getting my blood drawn as a kid and while 14 isn’t exactly a little kid anymore it’s certainly not an adult either. I still remember the nurse who was there with us, she had a very distinct, raspy voice despite being quite young and to this day people with that type of voice bring back this very unpleasant memory. I don’t remember anything after the blood draw, they give you medication to help you forget traumatic operations and it doesn’t get much more traumatic than a heart transplant. I don’t really remember much of recovery either, I do remember how painful it was when they made me walk though. I wanted to go home and they said I had to walk to the end of the hall to go home and if I couldn’t do it they would keep me at the hospital another day. You better believe I dragged all my various IVs and monitors down that hallway in an instant. My incision was bleeding afterwards and I felt like I was going to collapse but I held that shit together like the stubborn ass I am and gave them a smile and told them it was nothing and I was ready to go. Shockingly they didn’t notice the bloody incision or my clear exhaustion and I was allowed to go home after only 7 days which at the time was a record. The weeks and months that followed were absolute agony, a heart transplant is a ridiculously painful procedure the only time I’ve ever been in more physical pain is when I threw up from my painkillers after having my tricuspid valve replaced 10 years ago. It was awful, I couldn’t even wash myself, I had to have my mother give me a bath like I was a five year old and that was humiliating but I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just too painful to move my arms to wash myself when my whole sternum had been ripped open and was now held together by twist ties and super glue. Then there was the near constant pain from the weekly biopsies to check for rejection, they basically jam a catheter into your neck and then rip little chunks of your heart out to check to make sure your body isn’t rejecting the organ. On top of all that I gained so much weight from the medications and steroids I was on and my mother was an absolute monster about it. We had a very bad very toxic relationship during this time, she ridiculed me constantly but I depended on her for so much that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to die. I don’t want to get to into it though but it was really hard so trying to think positively about today is really difficult but on the positive side of things I’m still here. I made it through all that hardship, all that struggle, all that physical and mental anguish. I survived. For 25 years I have survived and while everyday hasn’t been easy, I didn’t give up. I guess I deserve to celebrate that at least even if I don’t like dwelling on all the misery I’ve endured. So, happy anniversary me, you’ve done the best you could and deserve a nice celebration. I know a lot of you lovelies aren’t going to read this but if you do, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me outside of being a horny Bi-Han fangirl. 💙

#personal #medical stuff #heart transplant #anniversary

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kasaneteto · 1 month

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my therapist asked me to think about my ideal partner and i have my appt today so i should write down the things ive come up with

if i dont write this shit down i blank in the moment. i guess i could write these things in a note on my phone actually but whatever im already here

1) i need to be with someone who isnt insecure. obviously everyone is insecure sometimes but im the kind of person who will constantly reassure someone who’s insecure and that takes a LOT of energy from me that i need for myself. i cant be feeding you validation 24/7

2) they have to be okay with the fact that i have a lot of love to give to the world and will be giving it. this kind of ties into the insecurity one too. im choosing to be with you so you shouldn’t get upset by me showing another person affection too. me giving my friend a peck on the cheek shouldn’t make you jealous. because you get to fuck me and my friend doesn’t

3) this one is a little weird but i feel like i need like. a wrangler. i need someone who is very calm and organized and not fucking insane and off the rails like me. i mean dont get me wrong i love fellow crazyasses but dating fellow crazyasses is uhhh. not great for my habit-building or healthy lifestyle living LOL i think i need to find a normie who is infatuated with my strange behavior. someone who is fascinated and wants to study me. i just know theyre out there

4) last one is you gotta be a positive person. i grew up around so much negativity and pessimism, being positive and seeing love and joy and beauty in life has been so freeing. i can’t be with someone who only sees negativity in things. it really sucks the life out of me and it makes it hard to want to do anything

ultimately i just have to be pickier and only go for someone if im really feeling drawn to that person. and even then give it time. im not jumping into a relationship ever again. there needs to be an incubation period where i vet the person. im also realizing that being demi-sexual has led me to date people that physically are not really my type. my last partner is probably the only person ive dated that i would consider ACTUALLY my type physically. so thats something to consider. ok i think thats everything

#txt

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betaoctillery · 2 years

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i dont follow ppl that dont support mspec lesbians btw. not only is it bullshit gender/sexuality policing but its ahistorical as shit when bisexuals & lesbians were almost indisguishable from one another until a very specific point in the 1970s when terfs and political lesbians began dividing the community by excluding anyone who had ANY association to perceived masculinity, which included trans women (bcus terfs thought of them as men), bi women for sleeping with men, butches for expressing masculinity, and women of color for racist reasons which posited that they arent feminine/women bcus many dont look/act/talk exactly like cis/het white women.

at any rate, the current accepted definition for the term lesbian is inherently bisexual! everyone says it means “attraction to women and nonbinary ppl” (which is nb-phobic outright ANYWAYS by lumping ALL nonbinary ppl with women -- this is what ppl are criticizing when they say we’re treated as “women-lite”) so if youre not being a nb-phobic asshat, you then have to acknowledge that woman and nonbinary are different genders, thereby making lesbianism a fundamentally bisexual identity as it includes to attraction to two or more genders.

like think critically for a moment. what about a bigender lesbian who feels like they are both a man and a woman? do you personally get to decide, do you personally get to have the authority, to choose which identity of theirs to suppress in order to cram them into one specific neat little box? whichever way you try to pigeonhole them, youre promoting gender binarism, which is nb-phobic. trying to cut up and divide ppl’s identities like nations erecting borders is dehumanizing.

another aspect of this issue ive noticed is that almost every single person ive met who self-identifies as a bi or mspec lesbian is trans or nonbinary. they often have complicated relationships to gender and sexuality that sweeping statements like “lesbians cant like men!!!” end up erasing their experiences. ive seen ppl claim its a term used by cis women to describe sleeping with trans women and i cant stress enough how in all the reading and research ive done on bi lesbianism that ive never once seen that cited as a definition or something having been done in practice. its literally just ignorant teenagers or young adults in their early 20s who know nothing about their community’s culture or history talking straight out of their asses. and if there are ppl who do this, theyre extreme outliers and its disingenous to act like mspec lesbians would defend such a level of transphobia when, again, most mspec lesbians are transgender themselves and are well aware that this division occured bcus of terfs.

read queer history yall. for the love of whatever you consider sacred and holy in this world pls fucking read queer history. dont get all of your information off of social media, random unsourced carrds made by teenagers who obviously dont make an effort to learn about their own community, and bad faith internet debaters who make conclusions drawn off what amounts to nothing more than “vibes” essentially. these people have really big loud mouths, but theyre simply wrong. material history will never agree with them.

throughout history, bi and lesbian have more or less meant and were treated as the same thing, including both women who exclusively were attracted to other women AS WELL AS women who were attracted to both women and men.

and until a single exclusionist can provide sources that can prove that 70′s lesbian separatism wasn’t a huge, well documented movement that resulted in much of the exclusionary attitudes and its effects we see even today, im just gonna continue to laugh at how childishly they cover their ears and go “la la la la” when presented with verifiable and cited evidence that this happened.

#bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #nonbinary #nonbinaryphobia #queer history

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melissa-titanium · 29 days

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hrng. the bane of my existence is decidijgnbetween drawing n slightly shorter than v OR slightly taller. i tjink J is the shortest so shes out of the question but making n tall is cliche BUT making v tall to me is like making myself short and i cannot be short. i cant be short id aftually rather get hit by a truck. v taller is funnier but n taller is Good for my brain + also works eith how i draw him. v is more stout and square while n is gangly as fuck and uzi is a happy medium being kind of short but SHARP with lots of tendrils/longer bits. also i feel loke as ive drawn doll & realized she looks like a twilight sparkle gijinka ive actually started to fall hard into that which is Undesirable. if shes a gijinka of anyone it better be maud pie on steroids. rules for my doll design; square. well kept enough that you aren't immediately weirded out but not well kept enough that suspicions dont start to arise when you look a little closer. doesn't smile enough for her teeth to poke out, but theyre longer than uzi's; she never had correction like uzi did. wearing a headband to be remniscent of dds. all her outfits are off-shoulder bcos she will overheat if not. two lines down her cheeks to look like "doll cheeks"??? cyn also has these but theyre meant to be more puppetlike. i usually try to dapple in lore elements in designs but thats just cosmetic. um. what else. AH OK. scarcely expressive, but when she is its ALL OUT. this is kinda canon actually. every time we see her express save for two instances that i can think of. shes totally deranged. killing the student @ the start of promening. fucking wit v. running away in dead end. like in every other instance sjes either :| or >:| but then when she ACTUALLY expresses shes like HHRHAHAHRRHWGWEORORWGGER. RABID ANIMALEWOROORIEUWWYGWG. hrng but then againnthis is a lot to think about when im. judt drawing & doodling. i need to find a good middleground between doodling and looking decent. NO I JUDT NEED TO FIND OUT HOW TO DRAW FASTER. i think too much WHEN im drawing but i ened to be doing the thinking BEFORE i draw. ugh i dont even know if this is artblock or not i think its my depression OK WOW majorly offtopic. i know ep 7 will make me insanely diseased 2morro so ill be good. dpring break too WOOHOO!!! i ended up clearing some dms today because. its. been lokg enough. but also i honestly dunnou if i will be checking shit during spring break. homework. maybe summer? not 2 far away. but then again thats when i will be taking drivers ed. hrrng. what EVAR. ill figuer it out :) i think im done. my head is most active when im forced to sleep so i need to ramble or ill go crauzysauce!!!!!! 2 say i am not a morning dragon would be tha understatement of the century. what 14 years of a sporadic peeper schedule and 2 years of no school does 2 a mfucker

ok anyways. ep seven. smile

#mel roars

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oceanofsoup · 1 year

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Ive caught up on rwby and oh boy I have many thoughts and feelings that I need to just get out of my head.

First big thing based off what Ive seen a lot of today, I dont think Jaune is going to sacrifice himself for the others to go home, if that even is how the tree works. Not only will it most likely not work that way, but I doubt he would do that to his friends. Specifically to Nora and Ren, they've already gone through the pain of losing Phyrra and he wouldn't choose to put them in that situation again. Plus they outright told him that they love him, I'd hope that he's out of that mindset of thinking none of his friends would care if something happened to him. There is definitely more to the tree than what Jaune thinks and I cant wait to learn all it's secrets.

I also saw a comparison drawn between Jaune giving Ruby cresent rose and Tai giving Yang her arm. They have gone through something horrible and are given something that everyone around them thinks they 100% need. Everyone assumes that it will give them a sense of normalcy and will help them, but it just makes them feel worse and ends up not being something they can handle quite yet. Im curious to see if Ruby will try to redefine her vision of what it means to be a huntress, or if she decides that she can be something else entirely. Either way it seems that Summer is going to be a big part of this.

I dont have that much to say about bees except holy shit!! I definitely teared up at the kiss and had the biggest smile once I realized what the bridge wanted from them. We've been waiting for years and I feel that it was well worth the wait for such a beautiful moment. I just love how Yang was still a bit nervous to say it, no doubt caused by Raven up and leaving without a word, so she still says I think I love you. But there is no doubt for Blake, she knows Yang feels the same and theres barley a pause before she says I love you too.

I think thats it for tonight but I will be thinking about Jaune all night.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby9 spoilers #rwby volume 9 #ruby rose #jaune arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumblby #there are so many variations for them i hope thats the right one #also i didnt mention weiss but shes been amazing this volume #last one but fuck anyone whos still insisting that blacksun makes more sense just say youre homophobic and move on

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ashers-selfships · 9 months

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OOURHGHF IT'S ME AND ALICE'S 2YEAR ANNIVERSARH TODAY IM SO HEHEUEHEUH I haven't drawn anything for it (yet) ive felt like shit lately and just haven't felt like drawing but eeeuuuhhhhh two years with my girlfrienf I'm so fuckinf happy I love her so so much

#asher's talking again #my kind of woman💋#selfshipping #fictional other #f/o #selfshipper #going insane im too tired to physically emote but mentally im screaming so fucki g loud I LOVR ALICE!!!!!!!

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molluskzone · 7 months

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isaac next! hes off model here (my sketch was much cuter, hes supposed to look like shit but not THIS much) but. whatever. today i learned that your signature does not technically have to be your name!

well, i knew that before because my friends older sibling said once that she was going to make her signature a smiley face but her mom yelled at her while she was telling us this so i wasnt sure if it was true or not. and i looked it up and it is! and i think isaac would have done this too lmao except less wholesome

decided he probably would be an organ donor idk. as for his hair he just pushes it out of his face to the side and it just stays there due to its texture / density. also he is NOT following proper ID photo guidelines here but i didnt feel like changing the sketch. also im squinting like HELL in my own id photo which you technically arent supposed to do so he can angle his head down and eyes up who gives a shit. i think in my original sketch i intended to have him be underweight when the photo was taken when hes a bigger guy in the other pics ive drawn of him but i put a normal ish weight for his height in the sketch so im not sure. what the hell i was doing. but i just kept it idk who cares

i debated whether or not isaac would even HAVE a valid drivers license because he canonically has had multiple DUIS but apparently the revocation length for that in wisconsin ranges from only a few months so i guess it can be canon? depending on the timing when this license is issued. he dies before it can be revoked again anyways so like LOL. maybe ill redraw it with one of those "ADULT NON DRIVERS LICENSE" IDs

#this fucking guy #my art #furry #anthro #skunk #sfw furry #sanctuary

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birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo · 10 months

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GOOD LORD that film is a FECK of a lot longer than i remembered _(:3」∠)

i had a blast tho!!! and i would like to share some thoughts that i had this time round!!!!! thus i have put them below the cut, in no particular order!!!! read them......if u dare huehuehuehuehue >:D

how did no one notice. that there was a GIANT FUCKING CASTLE. being built in mordor??? wHO WAS BUILDING IT. WHERE DID THEY GET THE MATERIALS. HOW MUCH NOISE DID THEY MAKE. (im not invested in the answers, i just find it funny 🤣)

HOW IS THERE A GIANT FUCKING CREATURE IN THE WATER RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR TO MORIA???????? how DEEP is that fucking water??!!! HOW COULD A CTHULHU THING POSSIBLY LIVE COMFORTABLY IN THERE????? is this its NATURAL HABITAT??? is it an INVASIVE SPECIES??? WHAT IS HAPPENING

is ANYONE going to ask gimli if he's ok. ur mans pure SOBBING ON THE GROUND and nobody is going to say 'oh gimli, i'm so sorry about ur friends and relations. let's hold hands. let's destroy toxic masculinity with a brotherly forehead kiss ;A;'. U CAN DO BETTER THAN A GENTLE SHOULDER PAT, SURELY!!!!!

when legolas catches boromir before he can fall in the mines. i wanted them to fuck nasty 👀

wHEN LEGOLAS CATCHES ARAGORN BEFORE HE CAN FALL IN THE MINES. I REALLY REALLY WANTED THEM TO FUCK NASTY

(i HAVE drawn it tbh but it was terrible and bad and it's on my old laptop so it shall NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. NEVER NEVER NEVER 😳)

my favourite scene is when they all dance in the shire ;A; ive actually got that tune ('flaming red hair' it's called) in a few of my playlists, it's just so catchy~~

i used to be able to play the ~shire~ melody on the pennywhistle. badly. very very badly. but i've lost track of the whistle so ur ears are safe from me 🤣

gandalf and saruman flopping round the room for their ~fight~ will never NOT be funny to me

(12th july 2023 - still in love with aragorn 😔)

(wait no i watched it before midnight so it was the 11th)

(....whatever it doesn't matter, shut up birb 😔)

i passed out IMMEDIATELY after the film ended, i've still got a sore head ;A; it took SO MUCH out of me, i knew it would but it took MORE THAN I THOUGHT ;A;

wheN SEAN BEAN SAID THE THING

legolas out here like 'omg he doesn't even know aragorn 😳' and 'tee hee i'm sprinting atop the snow~ 🤭' are two of my favourite Legolas Expressions, but my ABSOLUTE FAV is his 'oh dear everyone is crying, are they having emotions?? what do i say?? what do i say when ppl have emotions?? can i get out of this. how do i get out of here' face right after gandalf tells them all to FECK OFF U FOOLS and leave him behind

i suspect they PROOOOBABLY had enough time to help him, but. u know. we need drama. abair drama~~~~ 🤣🤣

WHEN SEAN BEAN SAID THE THING. AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

'my brother. my captain. my king.' im fucking SOBBING

what if aragorn and boromir fucked nasty with EACH OTHER as well. pls consider this

'they have a cave troll' is VERY GOOD but WHAT IF: 'they have a fucking cave troll.'

when aragorn tells arwen to 'ride hard', i get the feeling it's neither the first time he's said it nor the only context he's said it in 👀 good for them tho!!!!

arwen: the rivers obey ME and ME ALONE!!!!!!!! oh shit oh fuck frodo are u ok oh my god oh no DADDY HELP ;A;

'ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!!!!!!' she's damn RIGHT i will, mY POWERFUL SCARY QUEEN I WILL PEEL UR FRUIT FOR U SO U WILL NOT HAVE TO SULLY UR DAINTY HANDS ;A;

(frodo didn't seem to agree with me but that's ok. friends can have different opinions and still love each other!!!)

HIS HUG WITH SAM. that was baby birb's favourite scene, before i got older and discovered that i wanted the handsome human men to FUCK NASTYYYY 👀

that's all for today. AND TOMORROW?????? the second film in the trilogy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#birb still says #i fell asleep for a while but i still feel SOOOOo TIRED AAAAA ;A;#hopefully i'll get over it lmaooo #i HATE ITTTT when my watches get interrupted #one time i watched the same ~3 hour long japanese stage show EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK #bc there were SIX different productions and they all diverged SO MUCH that i NEEDED TO KNOW WHAT THEY DID DIFFERENTLY #it nearly killed me but i had fun :D #lotr #birb watch #birb REWATCHES the lotr trilogy

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