#its the one thats burrowing in my brain anyway

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Fallout AU - Brotherhood of Steel

Kara is a vault dweller whose vault falls to raiders. Her parents send her to the surface to escape, but are killed before they can join her. She's left alone and lost in a harsh, cruel world. She's taken in by the brotherhood of steel just on the brink of death.

Kara is raised and trained and punished and made stronger, until one day she's selected to be anointed as a squire. She's seen knights before, and they've all been cruel and abusive with their power, all too willing to grind their heels into the backs of those beneath them.

So when she's assigned to Knight Crixus, she expects nothing different. When Crixus sears her brand into the back of Kara's neck, she braces herself for years of servitude under a cruel master... until she's granted knighthood herself.

After the anointing ceremony, five knights and their brand new squires are assigned the same mission-- locate and seize a fugitive in possession of a certain artifact. An artifact that would give control of the wastelands to whomever possesses it.

Kara hauls her lord's oversized gear bag into their assigned helicopter. Crixus mounts the transport easily in her heavy armor, leaving Kara to kip herself up on her own. Kara's expectations were right-- to a degree. She's assigned menial labor in the form of cooking, cleaning, and repairs. Meanwhile, Crixus never leaves his armor.

While searching a quadrant of their assigned grid, they discover an old hazardous waste site. There's something sinister about it, and Kara has heard enough tales of knights and their ill-fated squires to know she's expected to scout the cave before her master.

To her surprise, however, when Kara draws her sidearm and steps forward, he blocks her with a gauntleted arm.

"Wait here," he orders, the voice modulator turning it into a growl.

He levers his gatling from his back, settling it into his metal hands in a familiar grip. Then he stomps forward, his pneumatic tendons hissing with each step. Kara considers staying put, but her instincts pull her forward after her master.

They stalk into the cave, searching its corners for any sign of a threat. When they find none, Kara lowers her gun. Strange.

Only then does she notice the sudden, deathly stillness in the cave. Something was very, very wrong. She turns just as Crixus lunges for her, and catches sight of the enormous Abomination behind her before Crixus tackles her to one side. The swipe from the abomination catches steel instead of Kara's flesh.

Before Crixus can turn and ready his weapon, the abomination sinks its maw into the back of his neck and tears him away from Kara. Crixus goes flying, smacking into a tree that splinters from the impact. The abomination follows him, tackling Crixus before he can even get to his feet.

Kara scrambles up, but all she can is watch as the abomination paws and scrapes and gnaws at Crixus, as Crixus tries to punch the beast's great snout to release him. It doesn't, not until the armor suit gives a final hiss, Crixus goes still.

Only then does it turn back to Kara, stalking towards her with slow, predatory steps. Kara reaches for her sidearm, but her holster is empty. She doesn't dare cast a glance around for it, doesn't dare take her eyes from the abomination.

Heart pounding, Kara struggles to think, to come up with a plan that doesn't end with her dead. She doesn't have the time. The beast lunges, and Kara yells in panic.

In the next moment, the abomination slides to the cave floor at her feet, dead with the back of its skull missing. She finds it clenched in Crixus' fist, dripping with blood and brain matter. Then Crixus staggers, his armor smoking and whining in distress.

"Don't just stand there," Crixus growls. "Get me out of this fucking thing."

Kara can't quite reach the release, so she has to half help, half drag the knight towards the tree he'd been flung into, until he was able to slump against it. Kara quickly gets to work, all while Crixus mutters and grunts with curses.

The helmet is the first to spring open, but Kara doesn't stop to think until the rest of the suit follows. It's not until she's dragged her master from the suit and props him against the tree that she notices.... Crixus isn't a he.

"Fuck," her master says, bracing a broken arm against what can only be busted ribs. Ribs sitting below a chest that heaves for breath-- a chest that is decidedly not as male as Kara anticipated.

"Holy shit."

"Stim pack," Crixus gasps. He-- she-- nods towards the forgotten gear bag. "Stim pack, stim pack, stim pack..."

Kara shakes herself back into action. "Right! Um..."

She rifles through the gearbag until she finds the medkit, and wastes no further time in plunging the syringe into her master's neck. It takes only a few moments for the drugs to take effect, dulling the pain enough for Crixus to slump in exhaustion against the tree.

"You... you're--"

"No shit." Crixus rolls her eyes.

Kara blinks. "You saved my life."

She doesn't understand. The very concept of a knight risking anything for a squire is anathema to the Brotherhood. Knights were paramount in value-- squires were expendable. Less than expendable. There's always another page to be anointed and take her place.

"Why?"

Crixus glares at her. "You tell me, squire."

Collecting the other items from the medkit, Kara gathers a long branch and breaks it over her knee before kneeling beside the knight. She gingerly takes the woman's broken arm, and begins to fashion a splint around it.

"My name is Kara, Knight Crixus."

Green eyes regard her solemnly. Then she looks away. "Lena."

The revelation shocks Kara, that so soft a name could be ascribed to a knight so tough. She rolls it around in her mind for a short moment before her whole body jolts.

"Wait-- Lena? As in Elder Lex's sister?"

"Surprise."

#supercorp #fallout au #brotherhood of steel au #just one possible au i might run with #its the one thats burrowing in my brain anyway

[understandableparadox]

Bottom of the barrel Isekai review

Today we are looking at the following, "The white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon kings lap."

christ thats a long as title.

anyways, do you have a friend? no? yes? maybe? how nice, how do you treat them? how do you speak with them? how do you interact with them? while you are filling out this survey, could you be as kind as to fill out those silly little digits on that odd plastic card in your mothers purse for moi~?

no? well fuck you to.

the flowers, the painfully average looking protag, the specific notation about the eye color? we are about to dive into the live of a special young lady and her mystical adventures through whimsy and wonder.

anyways the story is that ruri, are main charecter lives a rather average life with her super importent dad and her super model mom, as the image stats, how could her life ever be distrupted in any form or fashion?

if you guess that a random girl made friends with her and followed her for most of her life until they both got sucked into a fantasy world and the kingdom decided the friend would be the priestess, then you would be correct~!

"But dox!" you say crawling out of my airvent "thats huge gap in time, what happened in between?"

well asashi and ruri had a rather odd relationship. you see, everyone fucking loves asashi, they are all in on ensureing that this random girls life is as easy as possible but at the expense of asashi. they will all work togather to do make sure asashi is happy while also bullying ruri.

do you feel that? thats the worm in my brain slowly getting into yours as more and more questions about this specific dynamic arise. some of them will be answered, but they will only be answered in a way that makes sure the worm Burrows Deeper.

first question: its clear ruri fucking hates asashi, why do i say shes her friend?

second question: Why are they friends? why hasent ruri made her leave her alone if she doesnt like her?

well to answer those questions...

as asashi is appointed the new priestiess ruri attempt to discover things about this kingdom, she learns from a priest that there is no way back home that they know of, nor are their any stories of a person summoned being Un summoned.

anyways we cant get any plot done here! we need to roundaboutly kick shit off while also makeing this asashis fault somehow!

so she ends up getting kicked from the castle, forced to wander the woods for the rest of her natural life, her mulchcore attitude persaudeing her to lay down and become one with it all...

ok no thats not what happens, she walks around a little bit, learns she is the greatest mage alive

, wanders presumably without food and water for five days, yes im screaming at the overpowered mc cliche once again just ignore it, where in she meets a old lady in the woods

who of course unlocks her

Special eyes of destiny

which allows her to see the collection of fucking creepy fairies that constently surround and are touching her at any given moment of the day.

I am lead to belive due to the daisies drawn in the back ground that this is supposed to be a moment of whimsy and joy, this image fills me with a special dread as it fullfills almost every single one of my autistic fears imagineable. night mare night mare nightmare.

anyways magic is discussed for a vary long time but oh fuck, we havent complained about asashi in five seconds, time to make a horrifying point about her!

this conclusion seems to be that no one can truly love asashi as all the love she will ever feel is artifically grown because of her magic. this also means that if you have a strong heart and a good soul you cannot love asashi because you would naturally and rightfully find her as annoying as ruri would. this is because ruri is the only one that can see her objectivly.

if you hare undergoing a string of panic that comes from the fundamental question that comes from the doubt of love from the sources in your life, dont worry, Ruri says she is annoying and bad and the story belives her to be objectivly correct so everyone belives that if they are good. you are a good person right?

growing dread aside, more plot, the fairys bend to the whim of ruri, all faries, meaning that unless you are a motherfucking wizard, the one source of universal and public magic has been cut off. all villagers that relied on water and fire magic have been cut off. farmers that need earth magic are cut off.

of course this is not her fault because again she is an objectivly good person with a good heart so she tut tuts the fairies for depriving villagers of clean drinking water and easy acess to heat and light for a week and the story moves on.

she learns more magic, she summons the fairy of time and they platoniclly flirt because ruri is a completely heterosexual girl.

the fairy of time is a simp and donates to her only dimensional space. one item of which is a bracelet that turns her into a cat, fulfilling one item on the title.

she goes to the market, her special chosen one powers make her super duper populer and people naturally want her advice and to give her money

wait a second, what time is it?

OH FUCK, WE HAVENT COMPLAINED ABOUR ASASHI IN A BIT!

SHE HAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE OF ASASHI GIVING UP HER DREAM LIFE IN A FANTASY WORLD TO BE WITH HER, THIS IS CONSIDERED A BAD THING, IN ANY OTHER MANGA THIS WOULD BE CONSIDERED A ROMANCE TO END ALL ROMANCES

she decides to leave and go to the city of dragons because fuck it, thats a thing to do, she has to tell them she is the special chosen one with the blue eyes and blonde hair.

we cut for a second our lead.

as you can see the prince through his actions is a completely heterosexual man, one that loves Boobs And Vagina. as one can clearly Tell.

anyways the prince is creepy, he walks through town in disgues, happens upon ruri and without a second thought proceeds to do this:

gross.

anyways, the prince tells his homophobic advisors that he met a girl and they immeditly start a witch hunt for her while ruri enters the room as a cat to establish that again, she is the special chosen one of destiny.

anyways she meets the prince and nothing happens. the fairies threaten to kill everyone with the knowladge that ruri has apocalyptic plot armor.

now, to explain what a special chosen one is:

"hey dox, pre-emptivly asking a question, why would their ever be a chosen one? it seems their sole existance is to get a small scratch and make everyone die about it."

GREAT QUESTION, I DONT FUCKING KNOW, THEY APPERENTLY CAUSE PROSPARITY BUT I HAVE YET TO SEE IT, NOT EVEN A GOD DAMN DECENT 401K

anyways the prince gets Really attached to the Cat

Really Close.

this is explained through the fact that they have simalier wavelengths or similier magic types, meaning that they feel lonely without each other nearby.

the manga is astouindingly quick to stifle any comparison to asashi because remeber, asashi is Objectivly Bad and Unloveable.

Remember, Wanting to be friends with someone and not immeditly knowing if they like you or not makes you an objectivly Bad and Annoying person.

cut forward a bit, more werid cat flirting and she gets a job outside the palace... anyways she hears knews that the kingdom she was exiled from is wageing a war against the nation of dragons. this is handwaved as being something they just do when they find some cool magic shit.

but notably, the reason for the war has changed, as rumors have emerged that the priestess of the kingdom is supporting the war to save ruri who they belive to be kidnapped.

she gets sad about this and goes to the grandma to whine about it.

so we can see here a few things.

we are supposed to belive that its completely unreasonable for asashi to make the assumption that her best friend has been kidnapped.

that it is her fault for allowing a war to happen when we know that regardless of her support they would wage it regardless

ruri only considers asashi a friend when it is deemed attractive to her moral charecter.

yes this is the first time ruri has every said that asashi is anything resembling a friend to her.

she slips into the castle after some poverty porn about how evil and bad this kingdom is, we get a brief scene showing the king is planning on makeing sure both asashi and the prince die because he finds him annoying (I guess he has a strong and objectivly good soul)

"Man, isnt asashi awful, worrying about her friend like that? wanting people to help her find her? isnt she just the fucking Worse ever?"

im going insane, the worm has won, they have consumed any rational part of my brain and replaced it with the vast rot of whatever fucking bizarro verse this manga demands me to be within.

the two friends finally reunite after being seperated for so long.

we get a sob story about a time she broke her watch because again, asashis charm powers make people jealous of how close she is to asashi, so they bullied her and since asashi has literally never seen anyone ever act anything like that because again, everyone s magically forced to love her unconditionally, she doesnt belive her.

and of course she dosent belive her either but instead of just blindly saying no to ruri, she says she'll talk to them about it, when its clear ruri fucking hates that idea, and gets ready to leave with a little cryptic warning, she asks to flee with her

which again is displayed as a creepy and werid thing because she accidently uses her charm magic that we have established she has no control over. again, in any other manga the idea that while you may not belive what you hear, you are willing to give up any comfort to be with your friend, would be considered the most profound act of love. please feel free to contrast this to captian hair sniffer and Cat spooner.

I cannot add any more images so lets speed run this. asashi is shaken up so she goes to the king to ask him whats going on, he says "Mind control" which lets be perfectly clear, is an established and perfectly reasonable thing to belive can happen in a magical fucking world, asashi is shown to be dumb for belive this.

war happens and nothing happens, dragons win by a land slide and asashi gets captured.

she dosent belive the dragon princes words and all of her allies that got captured with her are placed in an anti magic zone and now hate her completely because again, without magic, asashi is completely and utterly unloveable.

ruri makes friends with another god and they learn that asashi convinced a guard to let her go because i guess that charm magic works whenever. but shes stuck in a dungeon and she may run into the soldiers who i guess the charm magic wont work on which leaves us with this haunting scene:

we are told that asashi legitamitly does not understand what the fuck is going on, she does not understand why they hate her, she just thought she was going to save her fucking friend.

Behold Your Antagonist.

it ends with that.

here are the questions.

"Is the underlying story, barring any other concept, good?" 

Kinda. its vary bland and vary generic. its a romance that does not know how to present itself a romance. it is a romance that spends more time complaining about someone then being in love.

"on a sliding scale of min to max, how much is the author using this to explore fetish" 

none, the few saveing graces.

"How many story crutches does the author use to explore the story" 

an absurd amount, from the plot contrivances to the power cliches, to the physical attributes denoting specialness to ensure we and the charecters know to treat her in a special way.

 "Is the author attempting to use the story as a way to explain why he is not weird."

yeah, if you have any fucking trouble with social interactions or cant read people, then you are an objectively bad person, and if you are somehow populer, no one actully loves you, and they are being forced to love you.

#bottom of the barral #isekai #shitty isekai #manga review #read on your own time #its better as a hate read #I almost miss reading omegaverse romance isekais #at least there they pretend to be in a relationship of some kind

[uniquezombiedestiny]

🔊 angela lobotomy corporation?

Just like clockwork, brass and copper, turning, spinning, always running Tick tock tick tock, gears shift, can't talk, repair damage, oxidation Gold inferno, blazing fire, thousands screaming, thousands dying Sanity is withering, their consciousness is fading away Ever marching, ever turning, soldiers fighting, endless cycle With their fates now sealed in copper, just like clockwork, perfect timing --- But when the engine's cold And the battle has calmed and ended Embers will fly away And I'll see all that's died...

Just like clockwork, pendulum stops, hours, minutes, angels of death Glowing furnace, anvil, hammer, cide is born within the forge Molten core and twisting metals, all created for one purpose Faulty scraps left to the sidelines, never given room to glisten (Just like clockwork, divine rework)

---

i havent like. taken the time to actually see a character in this song before but this actually fits angela really well?? i think the first part of lyrics i put is lobcorp angela

"gold inferno, blazing fire" could be like her eyes since theyre orange and thats preeeetty close to gold. also theres fire to make up for it anyway

also specifically "gears shift, cant talk, repair damage" and "tick tock tick tock" + "with their fates now sealed in copper, just like clockwork" bc timeloop/time in general. shes just stuck to follow the script and stuff (fates sealed in copper)

2nd lyrics part is creation of the library then ruina angela

"but when the engine's cold" could be like angela becoming desensitized to everything or her being trusted kinda?? like shes just not seen as a danger with the engine referring to well. dangerousness (idk much about the later like story stuff so idk how trusted she is from days like 40-50 but i assume shes trusted by people/the sephirot/etc).

"embers will fly away" could be like the glowing pages in ruina :P

"cide is born within the forge" could both refer to the downfall of l corp and all the killing in ruina, or a like. metaphorical killing. like killing love or something (like the desensitization to everything through the timeloop thing, killing a part of herself [hey that fits the 2nd definition. nice])

"pendulum stops, hours, minutes, angels of death" 'pendulum stops' for the timeloop thing ending, 'hours, minutes' for angelas slowed perception of time, 'angels of death' bc iirc angela is called the librarian of death/pale librarian. also angel for angela and burrowing heaven AND being an attempt at making carmen kinda. its sorta like death and becoming an angel ig??

^ "(just like clockwork, divine rework)" about the whole angel thing, this fits in too

"faulty scraps left to the sidelines, never given room to glisten" ayin just. hated her and ignored her and all that stuff. also timeloop, also angelas revenge on ayin ('left to the sidelines, never given room to glisten' with glisten referring to the revenge or like. maaaybe doing something impactful? idk)

---

didnt mean for this to be this long lmao but woo yeah analysis :thumbsup: i dont wanna go get the emoji. also little --- things for formatting/separation/etc etc.

oh and one last thing some of the lyrics give me dakota vibes bc my brain simply has a dakota sleeper agent ig. her wearing the pink ego + anything she says about wars/battles/etc ever never left my head ("this war never ends... always starts over and over again" HIIIIIIIII)

#thanks for the ask! -nameless (newly formed alter he just. has no name yet lol. i call him purple sweater guy -dakota) #this really just. did get long like wow #i should do this more ive always like. wanted to do analysis stuff #guess i just didnt know how. and then i did #lmao #there may be typos like somewhere but i dont wanna reread and check #probably fixed them as i went tho so it should be fine

[jrueships]

Okay frank ocean fan !!!

#i love the way he tried quickly combing over the fact that hes a frank fan in that one interview #' i love kanye .. hope hes ok with whatever hes got.. goin on with him rn.. i love migos lil baby etcetc...frankocean-DABABY-' #'i listen to a LIL of frank- i mean' #when u try to escape the allegations then admit to liking mr ocean #no need to be fearful gup!!! ocean is a goodie!!! #anyways i forgot yall arent in my head so basically gups favorite stan page made a gup fancam highlight reel #usin a frank song and gup responded because he has a worm burrowing into his brain #i hate the 'okay cool' phrase bcus my friends say that all the time so now IM sayin that along with 'thats very funny' #like they are LIMITING my VOCABULARY like hOw do you expect me to talk to pale people without excess annoying vernACULAR? Smh #crabs in a barrel #im kidding but anyways <333 gup #' i cant let them know im friends with lil nas' mentality #i think its cute that kpj thrifted the __vstheworld saying from gups stan blog bcs they BEEN friends for a while #the rockets are all just a bunch of dumb friends being dumb + grandpa john wall so its so lovephobic for them to fail #NEED THEM... TO W I N !!!!! #gup #i dont think he said dababy but he probably did mentally to counteract his homosexual thoughts #dababy defense mechanism

[furrysmp]

My brain said “make him a cat” and so I did

also, I think the pun is pretty witty

oh my god so much ranting to do aaa

well, as usual the wings are my lazy version of falcon wings because it fits with how he uses an alytra to fly then drop and fly again, really like it for him.

I do actually love the pun, but my brain is half puns half panic pretty much constantly, so.

anyways, the fur pattern for the ears and tail are burrowed from Maui! because it was either that or make his hair gray which I cannot do, even if it makes slightly more sense with the colors of the wings.

also, I know its not very obvious but I tweaked with his eyes a bit for this design?

like, not only did I decide to lean more towards the reds in the brown, and I gave him cat pupils bc Kitty, but like. the thing birds of prey and some kinds of cats have in the outside of their eyes that makes their vision super sharp? I kinda gave him that. I forgot if it has a name or not but its the middle of the night and Im in pain so thats the last of my concerns

absolutely love what i do with his shoes, and now the bit that looks like digitigrade feet on the cap also makes sense bc hes a gryphon

yeah this was supposed to be part of a set of doodles for the 100 hours trio so I’ll probably do those at some point this weekend, I have many doodles to make, I just had to start with the grian ones because Kitty and bc he’s my favorite mcyt of all times ^^”

#mcyt #grian fanart #winged grian #grian #gryphon #griaphon #cat: maui #mcytblr #grian minecraft #idk what else can I tag #my posts lately been getting more notes #(by which I mean usually theres more than 3 notes on a post) #so Im being Hype and want ppl to see this bc numbers apparently really are addicting #:D

[draco-slander]

fremione.

ladies, gentlemen, or whatever else you identify as, may i proudly present to you: FREMIONE

(i apologize in advance for the horrible grammar, its late but this thought just came to my head so leave me alone)

ANYWAYS,

here’s some of my headcannons for how they started to get closer then the start of their relationship :)

THIS IS AN AU WHERE EVERYONE LIVES BTW SOOOOO ANYWAYS YEAH

when hermione discovered the twins plan for WWW, they expected her to be mad, but she kind of discovered that george and fred werent just two idiots who broke the rules, but they actually had some knowledge inside their brains!! (took you long enough, mione.) so she began to help them with their plans for the shop, going to the library after hours when they couldn’t to grab some books they needed, staying up in the common room late to help them study

george could obviously tell when fred started to fall for mione, and though they had only been friends for about two weeks, he was already head over heels for her. and he was going to make sure she knew that. hermione, as well, started to notice when her eyes would wander to fred’s gorgeous red hair, or stare longer then usual at his beautiful hazel eyes, but she, per usual, pushed her feelings aside. i mean, why would some amazing, gorgeous, pure-blood, hogwarts prank king fall in love with some nerdy, bushy haired muggle-born like her?

Fred was always finding little excuses to touch her; ‘hey, granger, you’ve got something on your face.’ he’s say in the great hall during dinner, taking his warm fingers, gently wiping her chin, george playfully gagging in the background, hermione turning a deep crimson red.  or while the three of them were reading in the common room late at night, hermione’s hand on the page of her book. ‘woah, mione, you’ve got mighty small hands, let’s compare.’ he would say, picking up her hand, placing it against his own.

hermione soon became more comfortable with physical affection with the twins. they had gotten to the point where they were comfortable snuggling up with eachother on the common room couch late at night, while flipping through potions text books, skimming paragraphs. with george, it was all friendly, but when he went to bed early and it was only her and fred, it felt...different. fred would bury his head in the crook of her neck, his hot breath on her making her blush.

after a few months of being close, the two were practically an old married couple. sure, they had never admitted their feelings for one another, but it was almost like they didn’t have to. after classes, while hermione was studying on the couch of the common room, fred would sneak up to her side, twirling her hair while watching her eyes slowly move from one side of the page to the other. ron and harry, who were playing wizards chess on the other end of the room, slowly looking over at the two of them, ron gagging while harry playfully winked at hermione.

and hermione, while she usually would be in her dorm studying during quidditch games, always made sure she cheered the hardest for fred. 

one day after the O.W.Ls, (when fred and george werent taking them), hemione arrived back in the common room, looking tired and worn out. fred noticed this almost immediately, and got to work rubbing her shoulders. she chuckled lightly, before pushing his hands off. ‘i’m not a princess, fred.’ ‘you are to me, mione’ he said with a wink that made her blush

AND OH, THE NICKNAMES. he would come up with at least 5 new ones every day. mione, princess, kitten, granger, darling, love, etc

literally EVERYBODY at hogwarts though they were dating. enough said.

while hermione stayed at the burrow for summer holidays, the two found it a lot harder to be comfortable around eachother when molly’s eyes were plastered to their backs. (BOOK MOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!) hermione somewhat found this easy. it felt weird to her when fred would cuddle up to her on the couch, or kiss her temple repeatedly when she found something that would help with their shop. she always thought that it would be odd for the both of them if they dated, even though she knew she loved him. fred always made little excuses as to why he and hermione were so close. ‘don’t worry, mum, she’s just helping me study! you do want me to have good grades, don’t you?’ ‘oh, no worries, mum, we just fell asleep studying last night. oops!’

one night in the burrow during the summer, fred had gone to bed early, so it was just her and george on the living room couch skimming through books. george knew this was his opportunity. ‘hey, mione, you do know my brother is, like, head over heels for you, right?’ she stopped reading almost immediately, looking like a deer in headlights. ‘he does?’ ‘of course! i really thought the brightest witch of her age would have know that by now’ he said playfully.

after that, she became more comfortable with freddie, never feeling like he didnt like her back.

fred thought long and hard about how he was going to work up the nerve to ask hermione out. ‘should i make it big? i mean, thats what we always do, but it’s hermione’ ‘maybe ill just ask if she wants to go to the library. she likes that right?’ ‘wait, she likes butterbeer...ILL ASK HER TO HOGSMEADE! OH, IT’S PERFECT, GEORGIE!’

so, he did. ‘hey, love, can i ask you something?’ she sighed. ‘first of all, i told you to stop calling me that. second, make it quick, there’s a new potions book out in the library that i think will really help with the puking pasties.’ ‘yeah, for sure, so, uh...i was wondering if you maybe wanted to go to hogsmeade with me this weekend? IFYOUDONTTHATSOKAYIWASJUSTASKINGIUH-’ she chuckled slightly, and couldn’t tell if she was glad he had asked her out or amazed that she had just witnessed fred weasley stumble on his words. maybe a bit f both. ‘i would love to go to hogsmeade with you, fredrick gideon wealsey’ she said with a smile, while he let out a sigh of relief.  ‘well then, darling, how about that book, eh?’ he said, grabbing her hand and interlocking it with his own

[elyreywrites]

do you know who you are?

a fic written for Pride Month 2020!! (yes, i know pride month is over, but i posted this on AO3 on June 30th so.) this is a projection fic. it’s not an exact projection of my experience, nor is it meant to be a generalized representation. this isn’t everyone’s experience.

warnings: slight mention of Jack and Janet Drake potentially being homophobic, and discussion of compulsory heterosexuality

thank you to my betas in the Capes & Coffee Discord - Bumpkin, ZulieTheProgrammer, and Oceans!!

title is from Moana’s “I am Moana”!

please REBLOG - DO NOT REPOST

AO3 Link

Teen 1,678 words Bart Allen & Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent slight one-sided Tim Drake/Jason Todd - as in, tiny-Tim has a crush on Robin-Jason

Summary:

He’s twelve and watching Robin fight. He’s seventeen and staring up at the ceiling. He’s nineteen and text-spamming his best friends.

Tim’s growing up and finding himself, and he would really appreciate if the Realizations didn’t happen when he’s trying to sleep. Kon and Bart would probably appreciate that as well.

- - - - -

It starts as he’s watching the second Robin knock out some muggers. It’s not the first time Tim has seen Jason’s Robin take down a group of criminals, but it’s the first time that he nearly gives himself away as he squeaks.

 Jason’s so strong, and cool, and pretty, and – oh. Ah. Okay.

He calls it a night at that, bright red from the questions that are swimming around in his head. He spends most of the trip home lost in thought. When he’s sitting on his bed, one of his best pictures of Jason’s Robin sitting in front of him, he gives them a voice. Talking usually helps him get his thoughts in order. “Okay,” he whispers, “do I like boys?” He doesn’t dislike them – not at all. But does he like them? Maybe, but… how is he supposed to know? “Is that too big of a topic?” he wonders aloud to the picture. “Let’s start with this: Do I like Robin? Jason-Robin.”

That doesn’t turn his brain into a jumbled mess like the previous question did. Of course he likes Jason-Robin. He’s absolutely amazing, protecting people and checking on the working girls and kicking criminal ass! He’s only a couple years older than Tim is, but he does so much more! And he’s real in a way Dick isn’t.

Jason’s just a kid like Tim, though they have such different backgrounds. Dick was a trained acrobat, with skills Tim never really believed he could learn. Jason seemed closer. He was still more amazing than Tim could ever hope to be, but it wasn’t an entirely impossible stretch like it was with Dick.

“And he’s so passionate, especially when it’s a kid that’s in danger. And every time he smiles, it just makes me so happy that I kind of want to giggle and—” Tim stops babbling. He doesn’t need to anymore, after basically answering his own question. Yes, he does like Jason Todd, the current Robin. As in, he has a crush on him. Tim falls back on his bed to stare up at the ceiling.

“Well,” he says, “that explains the weird, squirmy feeling I get in my stomach every time I imagine talking to him.” That feeling is always accompanied by a fierce blush and Tim hiding his face for a good two minutes. He thinks he probably should have caught on sooner. Deciding that was enough Realizing Things for the night, Tim quickly locks the picture of Robin up with the rest and collapses on his bed to sleep.

The next day – a Saturday, which is Mrs. Mac’s day off – Tim hops on the computer and starts researching. He has a crush on one boy, but Tim still thinks girls can be cool. Batgirl is pretty awesome, after all! After a few hours and a lot of new information, he settles back on his bed again. He’s bisexual, and sexuality can apparently be really fluid. In all honesty, it didn’t take him hours to find the term, he just fell into a rabbit hole of researching sexual orientation and gender identities. Tim’s fairly secure in his gender, but he’s glad to have learned. It’s something to keep in mind about other people – to not assume anything based on appearances.

He’s bisexual, with a crush on a boy, and his parents will still expect him to only date girls. At least the boy was Robin and completely unattainable.

- - -

Years later, Tim is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling once again. It’s a different bed by now, in his own apartment at seventeen. The thing is, he’s pretty sure he has no interest in romance. And now his brain was mixing everything up in a tangle of thoughts and feelings again.

“Holding hands is nice,” he admits. “I like cuddling. That was fine.” He hasn’t gone further than making out with anyone, so that’s about the limit of his physical experience. It’s the implication of emotions that makes him want to skitter away. Specifically, emotions of the romantic variety. Now Tim’s reassessing every romantic relationship he’s had, though he’s only ever dated women.

At the time, he had thought he was happy while in each relationship, but… it’s becoming much more likely that it’s because he was previously starved for affection. He suddenly got that affection while dating someone. That thought makes him want to hide from everyone he’s ever dated. Stephanie is the only one he really still has to see, and that has him burrowing under his blankets.

It sounds awful, honestly. Like he was using the relationship to get the affection he so desperately wanted. Logically, he might be overthinking this. He just wishes his dumb brain would tell that to his anxiety and the ingrained societal expectations. “I didn’t mean to,” he mumbled into the blankets.

Romance, dating, being happy in a relationship? He has no other experiences to reference! He didn’t know that something wasn’t right.

Hell, he’s only having this Realization because a woman was flirting with him at a gala and asked if he would like to get dinner together sometime. A romantic dinner date with a woman he wasn’t close to. The entire scenario would be romance with no physical affection, and that didn’t sound pleasant in the slightest. It did, however, make him realize that he might need to think things through again.

So, here he is. Thinking things through. No romance – if he’s remembering his research correctly, the term is ‘aromantic’, similar to ‘asexual’. Asexuality was something he’d heard more about over the years, but he rarely heard of aromanticism. It had just stuck out because while the terms were similar, their meanings were pretty different.

Now he’s glad it stuck in his mind. It gives him less reason to panic about being confused. So, he was bisexual and aromantic. That’s fine! He’s a vigilante, romantic relationships would be difficult anyway.

- - -

A year and a half later, Tim’s fingers fly across the screen of his phone, sending text after text without waiting for a response. Either his friends would wake up or they wouldn’t. Hopefully they would.

Tim: Oh my god. Guys, wake up, I’m an idiot. Bart, Kon, please. I’m so dumb. How the hell am I this oblivious? I’m not bi-aro at all. I’m just fucking gay. It’s 5 am and I can’t sleep, and I just want a boyfriend. I want to do couple things, like cuddle up while watching movies.

Clone Trooper: dude, it’s the middle of the night. why do you do this to us?

Tim feels no sympathy for his friends – he’s been running on less than six hours of sleep for years. Sometimes less than four hours. High school and vigilantism don’t mix well. Anyway, they can deal with waking up to deal with his Realization.

Sonic: bro we cuddle up when we watch movies are we not good enough for you anymore

Tim: Yeah, but that’s platonic, Bart. And yes, I’m aware of the time. I’d like to be asleep too, but I’m lonely and sad and having Realizations! Suffer with me.

Clone Trooper: … suffer how? are you expecting us to have an existential crisis too, or is this just suffering by being awake?

Tim: Being awake. It’s not an existential crisis, it’s just a Realization.

Sonic: its the middle of the night i think it can be deemed an existential crisis

Tim: But seriously, someone please tell me how I jumped passed the logical conclusion I should have come to of “I’m just not attracted to women” and directly to “I have no interest in romance at all”? How did that make sense to me?

Sonic: society conditioned u to like women

Tim blinks at his screen. Bart isn’t wrong, but Tim has absolutely no idea where he’s going with that. He already had the Realization about societal conditioning, thanks.

Tim: Okay? I’m aware, but I’m not sure how that translates to how I didn’t think of the logical conclusion.

Sonic: dude. for years it was a fact – since you were a kid u were so conditioned that u should like women it was just a fact

Clone Trooper: think of it like this, tim: as far as you knew, you liked women. later, you figured out you like guys, but you still think you like women too.

Tim: We’ve established, yeah.

Clone Trooper: so, suddenly something is weird. the only really new thing is that there is romance involved. so that’s clearly gotta be the issue.

Oh. He stares so long the screen goes dark. He drops his phone on the bed and stares up at the ceiling, turning that over in his head. So. He jumped to not wanting romance because it was so deeply ingrained that he was supposed to like women? His exhausted brain seems to accept this explanation enough to calm the edge of self-recriminations.

Tim: That. Makes sense, I guess. But still, it really seems like I should’ve realized a while ago. Also, I’m kind of surprised that you aren’t teasing me for being oblivious.

Sonic: oh thats coming but teasing is saved for when u arent having a crisis

Clone Trooper: later, we’ll absolutely laugh about that jump in logic. but right now it’s too early and you’re already having A Time.

He’s not sure if he has wonderful friends or terrible friends. Tim suspects that he’s still going to hear about this in a few years. It’s the kind of thing they won’t let die for a while.

Tim: Fair enough.

Clone Trooper: great, glad we got that cleared up! now tim...

Tim: What?

Clone Trooper: please. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP.

Snickering, Tim plugs his phone in and smothers his face in the pillow. He’s still lonely and he still wants to analyze every missed evidence over the years, but he’s also exhausted. The chat with his friends did get his brain to shut up enough that he might actually be able to sleep. He can rethink his entire life again after he wakes up.

#fanfiction #elyrey writes things #tim drake #kon-el #conner kent #bart allen #friendship #lgbtq themes #lgbtq character #self-discovery #coming out #pride month 2020 #dcu

[supersharpteeth-yes]

7, 17, 27, 37

Talk about your current wips.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ok, so this isn’t from any of my exo-fic. Its actually from an Arcana fanfic I wrote ages ago, and I still love it.

‘I’m a what?’ Asra asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

‘A migraine,’ Julian repeated. ‘for me anyway. You hit me real fast, and it was just… painful. It felt like my head would explode with you taking up all the room in my brain. It felt like I was gonna die.’

Asra frowned at that, but Julian continued. ‘But eventually it ended. Now it’s just this dull throb in the back of my mind. Like a little reminder of what the real headache was like.’

Julian flinched when he felt Asra place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t shy away from the touch. ‘Some people are just a passing cold, floating in and out without any real impact. Some are broken bones, the kind that take ages to heal from but your stronger for it in the end.’

“And then there is that person,’ Julian sighed. ‘And they are the Plague. They appear from nowhere, and their arrival rewrites your whole world. Suddenly everywhere you go you are reminded of them, until one day, you wake up and realise you have it. The disease has burrowed down and lodged itself in your chest. They’re in your heart, your brain, your very breath. With their stunning amber eyes, and this crazy sharp mind that can keep pace with you so easily, its like they were made for you. And you know you aren’t going to recover from this one. She’ll be the death of you.’

This is me and my weird way of think at its finest. I really felt like I got into the character’s head and wrote them how they would think (medical, melodramatic and fatalistic) and it came out almost beautiful. I’m just very fond of it. 

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

In my head, no. Everything is out of order and a mess. On paper -- mostly. It is also why I tend to write one-shots and snippets of stories and struggle to write a whole big fic.

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

YES PLEASE! I love writing collaboratively, and helping others with their work, even if its just behind the scenes. I am an editor IRL so... its kinda my schtick.

37.  Talk about your current wips.

For SuperSharpTeeth, I have a few WIPS. I also have a bajillion others for other fandoms but thats not for here. 

I am working on part two of Velvet, Thorns and Streaming right now. As in, this very moment. I am also working on a Dragon x Reader fic, where the reader is a part of the dragon’s hoard and has to deal with a princess showing up. I am also workshopping a Robot Boss x Human Assistant fic, and a Clockwork Angel x Drider artificer fic. of the last three I don’t know which to work on more, so if you have an interest in one. Let Me KNOW!!

#Ask teethie #did i just reveal my maim blog? #oh well #it wasnt a secret

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter nine / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

Nakoa wakes to darkness. He finds out easily that he’s in a vehicle; the rumble of tires beneath him, the loud, high-pitched squeal of rubber on asphalt.

The hard, unforgiving feel of metal against his shoulder. He opens his eyes, but it makes no difference. He sees slivers of light, but nothing really. Nakoa blinks, once, twice, and, when he turns over, finds himself grateful for the lack of light, because just the slivers of daylight peeking through are enough to send spikes through his brain.

“You awake?” He jolts at the sound of a voice, relaxes when Rem adds, “Hey, it’s just me.” His words are near slurring, though. Nakoa spins his head to look for him, nervous, worried, but it’s impossible to see in the darkness. “I—” Rem huffs a frustrated breath. “Can’t see a fucking thing—where are you?”

One of Rem’s boots finds Nakoa’s ribs. He mutters an apology, then says, “Hang on—” before he reaches down, his hand skirting along Nakoa’s back until he reaches Nakoa’s hands, clasped behind him. “Hold still.”

The ties release after just a second, and when Nakoa pulls them up, he asks, “How the fuck did you get out of them?” The plastic rubbed his wrists raw, even as short as they were on.

He can hear Rem’s grin in his voice when he speaks, though, and his presence makes the dark, unforgiving trcuk a little less foreboding. “You think I leave the motel without a knife?”

Nakoa would laugh, if he could. Instead, he reaches a hand out, trying to find Rem in the dark. “Where—” he says, before he makes contact with Rem’s knee. Relief settles in his stomach, and he reaches out for Rem’s hand, squeezes it. Feels better already when Rem squeezes back.

“You okay?” Nakoa asks. “That looked.” Bad. Terrible. Nakoa sees it no matter where he looks, Rem lying on the asphalt like that.

“Mm.” But his voice sounds far away. “Nakoa.”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck?”

Nakoa should have known, knows he should have. That he should have said something to Rem, but… “My father’s—” The word tastes bitter on his tongue. “…in imports.”

“Drugs,” Rem says, immediately. “Fucking hell, Nakoa.”

It’s how Nakoa got started. It’s why he kept going with them. Michael’s into more than just weed, though, and therein lies the problem. That Nakoa knows. Michael had beat him, when Nakoa found out, and has since used his strength to his advantage. Try as he might, Nakoa can only throw a punch if he’s catching someone off guard, if they can fight worse than he can.

Michael doesn’t fit the bill, and he’s always carrying.

“I didn’t have a choice!” Nakoa says. “And I thought. Maybe, if I wasn’t there… why would he waste a bunch of bullshit on me? Men, resources.” Why would he follow Nakoa across the country? Nakoa, of all people?

“You stole from him,” Rem says. His voice comes out flat. “Nakoa.”

“You don’t get to play like you wouldn’t have done the same fucking thing,” he says, tone sharp. He pulls back from Rem, smells blood on his hands as he wipes them down his face. “How often have you stolen whiskey?”

“It’s legal! You wanna compare that to coke?”

Exhausted, suddenly, Nakoa says, “I really need you to not fucking judge me. I stopped, okay? He didn’t notice, and even if he had, what was he gonna do?” Michael hates Nakoa; always has. A disappointment, and that isn’t even considering Rem. That’s not considering the fact that Michael knows, and always has, that Nakoa beds men as often as he does women. It’s been like this since Nakoa was born, his father distant for work, and Nakoa eager for his approval and stumbling on his work at thirteen.

“He couldn’t do anything about it then,” Nakoa says. “But now what’s stopping him? His kid went missing. No one’s gonna care if I end up in a ditch.”

“Don’t fucking joke about that.”

Nakoa shuts his mouth, though. Taps his fingers on the metal on the floor. He says, “I should have told you.” He wants to apologize; can’t.

Wishes that he could just… touch Rem. No expectation. Find comfort in his touch.

He holds his hands to himself, and neither of them speak.

Eventually, the van slows to a stop, and doesn’t start again. Rem gets to his feet, says, “I got this.” Nakoa hears the knife unlatching in his hand. “Stay back.”

“Don’t being a knife to a gun fight, you—” Nakoa sighs. “Just—get behind me.”

“I’m not going to let you—”

“He’s my father,” Nakoa says, his voice cracking. “Let me deal with him.” He thinks about clocking Rem on the head again, but if he got knocked out that bad, he might already have a concussion.

Nakoa doesn’t say, “I want you safe.” He doesn’t say that it means more to him that Rem is okay, that Rem can go home. Maybe Rem thinks he’s worthless, but he’s Nakoa’s entire world.

The door slides up, and Nakoa blinks against the blinding light. Rem stands behind him, body heat warming Nakoa’s back. Michael’s behind his men, chatting on the phone, but Nakoa doesn’t move, not until Michael says, his voice almost bored, like he’s not still devising a plan. “Come join me for dinner.”

Nakoa blinks. “Pretty fucking dramatic entrance for dinner.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “You could show a little respect.”

Already disappointing his father, and they’ve been reunited for a matter of minutes. Nakoa holds his gaze and says, “You wanna kill me, go ahead.”

Behind him, he hears Rem make a small, distressed noise. “Nakoa—”

But Nakoa’s tired of living in this hole, in his father’s shadow, too afraid to move beyond Michael and his wants. Too afraid Michael might follow through on his threats.

“Just come. We’ll discuss what I plan to do with you at dinner.” Michael sighs, rubbing his forehead. “I keep forgetting about the carry on.” Nakoa catches his attention shifting to Rem, wishes it wouldn’t. “Hm. Looks like he’s the reason they’re free. Someone remind me we need handcuffs.”

When Nakoa doesn’t go forward, Michael sighs, says, “Someone grab him, please. Leave the other.” He sighs. “And tie him up this time?”

One of the men hauls Nakoa from the truck, by the hair, the shoulder. Nakoa swears, grips at the guy’s wrist and tries to walk with him, can’t. Holds tight and tries to lessen the pressure on his hair, anyway.

He watches as Rem crawls from the truck, eyes wide with fear, brandishing his knife. In comparison to giant men with handguns, he looks like a small, terrified child. Nakoa knows better than to call out his name, so he doesn’t.

His chest aches, and a half-strangled, “Rem—” escapes from his throat, just as the man dragging him pulls him into a building. Before the door shuts, Nakoa catches sight of Rem lashing out, the sound of a gunshot, then… Nothing.

Nakoa finds himself dropped at Michael’s feet, scalp burning, Michael staring down at him with something akin to disinterest. “I wish things could have gone differently for you, Nakoa.”

This is nothing like the Michael Nakoa remembers. This man is… different. Distressingly calm, quiet.

Nakoa prefers him screaming. Calm breeds terror in Nakoa’s chest, and he doesn’t care for the way it burrows in and refuses to leave.

“Up.” It’s not a request. “Dinner.”

Tossing a scowl back at the man who’d dragged him, Nakoa rubs his wrists, follows Michael through the warehouse.. He needs to stay around until he can get back to Rem, anyway. After that… who cares? Michael can do whatever he wants with Nakoa, as long as Rem gets out of this safely.

Michael leads him into another room to a table sitting alone, like one in the movies, covered with a tablecloth, a single lightbulb illuminating the table and nothing more.

With a swallow, Nakoa takes his seat, still rubbing his wrists. Michael sits in the other chair, and, neat as can fucking be, he undoes his napkin and lays it across his lap.

“Nakoa,” Michael says, and now he sounds more like himself, like the Michael Nakoa remembers. “You are a pain in my ass, you know that?”

“So the pleasant, calm druglord, that’s just for your employees. But your son, all bets are off.”

Michael’s gaze is sharp, piercing, and Nakoa wishes he’d kept his mouth shut. “Ungrateful. You know,” he says, already lifting the lid from his dinner, “you really don’t understand the sacrifices I’ve made for you. The resources I’ve wasted finding you.”

As if Nakoa asked for it. As if he gives a shit about whether Michael goes broke. As if he cares, for half a second, what Michael loses. He sits back, crosses his arms. Waits.

“I can see you’re going to be difficult, so let me lay this out for you.” He pops a bite of dinner—steak, because of course it is—into his mouth, and chews. Slow. Nakoa knows the tactic well, terrify them with their own imagination. “You’ll come home with me.”

“Over my—”

“—and we can leave your friend here to fend for himself.”

“Next.”

Eyebrow raised, Michael cuts back into his steak. “I could just as easily kill your friend, you know. He hardly seems like a man someone will miss.” At Nakoa’s expression, Michael laughs. “Don’t tell me you think—” He shakes his head. “You’re a fool, Nakoa.”

Better a fool than a prick, Nakoa thinks, but he doesn’t say so. Michael married a gentle woman, one he can scare into submission, and he thinks Nakoa’s life choices are worth judging. “Next option,” he says, through gritted teeth, staring hard at the table, at the knife marks in the wood. Imagines what it might be like to see those on his skin, instead. If he’d even life through it.

“I could kill the both of you. You’ve already been missing for how long? None of the authorities would think twice about a couple of stupid, runaway queer boys ending up dead. Two of them…” He clicks his tongue. “Well. Is that even a tragedy worth the news cycle?”

And Michael wonders why he ran away. Nakoa lifts his gaze, reluctant, up towards Michael’s face, hates the giddy expression on his father’s face. He’s a bastard, and Nakoa knows he’s always enjoyed his work a little too much, but he’d hoped maybe, underneath it all, there was something that made him human. Now he’s not so sure.

“Easiest way to tie up loose ends, don’t you agree?”

Nakoa wants to tell him to fuck off, but Michael won't hesitate to cut him with the knife on his plate. Never has before. Never hesitates, once he makes his mind up. “Why the holdup?” Nakoa asks, but his voice shakes. “Sounds like you got it all figured out. Why not just kill me now?”

He’s losing his patience, Michael. The joy drains from his expression and he returns to his dinner, almost bored. “Unfortunately, I still think there might be some use in you. I could use you to make an example. I think using you as a living example carries more weight, don’t you?”

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Pointing a fork to Nakoa’s plate, Michael says, “Eat. It’s the last time you’ll get the opportunity in a while.”

“What about Rem?” Nakoa does his best to hold his voice steady, to keep Michael from making any more shitty comments, but it still comes out wrong.

“I think I’ll be doing the world a favor, taking him out.” He reaches for his drink, then sighs. “Nakoa, please. If you don’t eat, I’ll be forced to take other measures.” Like what, Nakoa wonders, but doesn’t ask. Sighing, Michael sets his fork down and says, “Nakoa. It’s in your best interest to work with me.”

“Too fucking bad.”

“I can make your life a living hell, you know.”

“You already did. What can you do to make it worse?”

Michael raises an eyebrow, says, “You think you’re in love with the man outside. Not sure where you got that, but fine, I’ll play along. You’re right in considering yourself worthless, so I understand I can’t use you against yourself.” With a cock of his head, Michael leans back in his seat. “I might be able to use him yet. Suppose I better put in the call to keep him in one piece after all.” He pulls a walkie talkie out of his shirt pocket and switches it on. “Hold my previous order,” Michael says, glaring at Michael. “Plans have changed. We’re going to have a little fun.”

#my writing #road to nowhere au

[anotherfandomok]

Interactive Introverts Richmond Summary! (Part two!)

We come back. The are so dramatic and extra oh my god the smoke and the lights and the wheel is revealed with Phil strapped to it and he's freaking out he is so good at acting you guys it's underrated. He's like help what have you done to me I didn't think you would choose me etc it's some Good Shit. Dan goes "well hello everybody" and does like a maniacal laugh, and then he says the outfits they have for this segment are their pajamas. Low-key I didn't even realize Dan was on stage too until he started talking bc I was so focused on Phil strapped to the wheel lmao.

Dan is like the point of this is to not hit Phil and Phil was like please don't! And then Dan said but if I do hit him and he dies it's all your fault because you wanted this etc. And Dan was like various projectiles and all that blah blah start with the slingshot ("let's see what Danny has in his trunk of fun" sktnrjeej) (the original - if it could kill a mammoth, it could kill Phil) sifbfje it came really close to Phil's leg. He got out the bow and arrow and called himself Dandiss Danverdeen and then he was like I don't actually really know how to work this and Phil was like oh that's great to hear and Dan was like I THINK ITS LIKE THIS YOU JUST PULL IT BACK AND FIRE BUT HE WAS FACING THE AUDIENCE SO EVERYOME SCREAMED AND DAN WAS LIKE OKAY CALM DOWN YOU WERE IN DANGER FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS OR W/E AND THEN HE WAS LIKE BUT I don't think you guys understand how intense this is let's get a little sideways motion in this wheel so THE WHEEL STARTS SPINNING BACK AND FORTH A BIT I WAS LIKE SJTBDJFNRJSDJ. The arrow came really close to hitting him in the stomach too (and I don't remember which one it was - I think it was the bow and arrow - but Phil was like two inches to the right and I'd be dead and Dan was like "that's OUR left Phil" oh my god I died). He brought out the Nerf gun and called it a bazooka and said I still don't think you guys are getting how dangerous this is LETS SPIN THE WHEEL ALL THE WAY AROUND. I was definitely not expecting that and I was scared Phil was gonna get sick all over the stage, but I guess they've been practicing it lmao it was INSANE. and Dan did not hit Phil, so it went alright.

Dan kept telling us to calm down and stop freaking out and screaming oh my god like ssjfbsjdjskdjs. He was like "you all screamed, Phil gasped, you need to call the heck down."

Phil asked Dan to help unstrap him and Dan was like I'm not gonna help unstrap you unstrap yourself! Sigbfjdej. Dan tried to talk about his serious thing about how they're real people, but everyone was distracted and laughing by Phil taking off the suit so Phil was like sorry I'll go back here behind the trunk but obviously we could all still see him so Dan was like I'll just wait until you're done.

It was wild you guys I did not think Phil would be on the wheel, and when they spun it all the way around I was SHOOK.

Also the number of times they called each other by their full names had me absolutely dead like every time they did it I just like cried a lil bit.

Anyway, then Dan talked about how they're real people and once we saw Phil was in mortal danger we felt remorse and stuff like that, and then I think he talked about their curated online personalities (or maybe that was later). He talked about how if you have this wide and individual of an audience there's no way everything you do will please everyone (even though they want to please us), and that makes it really hard because do you put your audiences wants over what you want and do you be an individual or just act.

Dan talked about wholesome Howell (he called it a spicy meme) and how "some people on the internet thought I was joking about death too much" and how he copes with bad things by joking about them and stuff, and he talked about making the meme and he did the pose and everything and did the sarcastic voice "I will always be wholesome from now on and I will never be sarcastic again 😇" etc. And he said most people were like yeah right Dan haha funny but then he said there were some people who were actually like thank God "this is so much better than the regular Dan!" finally Dan's gonna be nice or w/e. so he was like "if there's this version of me out there that some people want me to be, should I just be that -" and we all screamed no really loud and he looked shocked and happy and he kinda stepped back a bit and laughed a lil and I died I was like we did good we love you sjfbdndns.

Then Phil talked about his hair change and he and Dan talked about how he was genuinely scared that if he changed his hair people were gonna stop watching him/abandon him ugh ugh ugh bb no we love you but he had had the same hair for so long and just ah. We cheered super louldy when he was like when I changed my hair this year! Dan was like this was a big deal it was important news up there with the royal wedding man Dan loves to gas his boy up I'm fine. He was like but look all these people are still here and we all cheered super loudly bc we love our boy (and then Dan was like or it was just too late to get a refund on the tickets 🤷🏻‍♂️).

THEN THEY TALKED ABOUT ANOTHER OFF BRAND THING FOR PHIL WHEN HE SAID FUCK ON DANS CHANNEL I WAS LIKE AJTBCDJGJSKDN AND DAN WAS LIKE "and he's gonna say it again right now" I was like AJGBHHJDJS but he didn't obviously (they actually kept the show pretty pg 13 I was impressed like there were no f bombs - just a ton of innuendos).

TIME FOR THE PERSONALITY SWAP. DAN CALLED IT ROLE REVERSAL SJFBFDJ. So Dan talked about how they have these opposite personalities kinda thing, and then Phil represents "everything's that nice and sweet and wholesome in the world." AND THEY PUT THE PIC OF ANGEL PHIL UP ON THE SCREEN I DIED GUYS IT WAS SO PRETTY. I LOVE HIM. AND THEN DAN IS LIKE THE DEVIL RIGHT AND HOLY SHIT THE DEVIL PICTURE OF HIM THEY PUT UP HAD ME SHOOK IN THE WHITE SHIRT WITH THE DEVIL HORNS AND THE FUCKING LIPSTICK Y'ALL I DIED HE LOOKED SO GOOD AJRBFJDJSM. Dan commented on how he was rocking the lipstick. then they switched and they like crossed sides of the stage it was really gorgeous tbh I'm obsessed with them walking now so it was like well coordinated and just wow.

ANGEL DAN IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HIM. He's gonna have to explain why the things that we said on the interact website were bad are actually good (they played really soft music whenever he did his it made me really emo). AND PHIL IS GONNA HAVE TO MAKE THE GOOD THINGS BAD AND OH MY GOD WHEN THAT PICTURE OF DEVIL PHIL CAME UP ON THE SCREEN EVERYONE IN THE ROOM JUST FUCKING LOST IT THE LIPSTICK YOU GUYS I FUCKING CAN'T OKAY AJFBGJSEJSJ oh my god. Y'all when Phil was devil Phil he SWAGGERED he STRUT like I was like oh my god this man could kill us all instantly if he wanted to like he just exuded power and I was Afraid it was incredible. HE CALLED HIMSELF X RATED LESTER AND DAN WAS LIKE I HAVE TO SAY FOR THE RECORD I DO NOT SUPPORT THAT I WISH YOU HAD SAID LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. AND PHIL GOES "I ONLY FEEL MORE DIRTYY" I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WE'RE ALL DEAD. ALSO HE WOULD ALWAYS CROSS HIS ARMS AND THEN STAND WITH HIS FEET SUPER FAR APART LIKE YOU KNOW THE WIDE LEGGED STANCE HE DOES LIKE THAT FUCKED ME UP I WAS SHAKING OH MY GOD HE EXUDED SO MUCH POWER AND TBH BDE I WAS SHOOK WHENEVER HE STOOD LIKE THAT SJTBDJ.

Dan said color being sucked out of the world was a good thing bc BLACK IS THE BEST COLOR AND EVERYTHING WOULD BE BETTER IN MONOCHROME THATS A WORLD I WANT TO LIVE IN "spell funeral without fun amirite" and "everything would be fashionable!" and we were all shook and cheered really loudly and Phil was like I don't want to live in that world and Dan said "well Phil you weren't invited anyway!" I was like sjgbfndjss.

Phil said "time for me to get... A little bit evil" and he STRUTS to the middle of the stage and starts gyrating his hips oh my fucking god we were all dead like what the fuck. Dan was like "sToP gYrAtiNG!!1!" (Dan added that to the list of forbidden movements that had been growing throughout the show that mainly including thrusting and other such movements oh my god). My favorite thing about this segment is the audience and other person would see the thing they had to defend first, so we would all just burst out laughing and then the person who had to defend it was always like "what??? What is it why are you all laughing what is it??"

Phil said community service would be a bad thing bc what if it's a community of cannibals right lmao and then afterwards he was like I think I would taste pretty good and Dan was like yeah whatever pure sugar tastes like ew gross ajfbfjwjd.

Dan said grandma seeing your Wattpad was good but we didn't give that one to him he was like we have to bridge the generational gap and share our interests and the internet with old people and then he was like plus she'll probably be like oh yeah I wrote when I was younger about the Beatles in a bathtub AND SOME MILK. DAN NO STOP OH MY GOD NO. NO. he kept being like but I'm sure someone probably wrote that about the Beatles. I was like no please no oh my god we were all like no.

Phil said sitting in a field of flowers is bad bc you pick up the flower, give it a big sniff, and then you hear... Buzzing? THERES A BEE IN THE FLOWER AND ITS IN YOUR NOSE AND NOW ITS BURROWING INTO YOUR BRAIN so we definitely gave him that one lmao I think Dan said something about him or us being traumatized, but it was SO INTENSE when Phil was saying it like they played that hardcore music that had me dead on the floor and Phil was so into it and I just. Died.

Dan said his square hair was good bc everyone has to have a lowest point in their life and now he can look back at pictures and be like well at least my head isn't shaped like a square lmao he was like all of you go out and get your hair cut like that tomorrow I promise you there'll be nowhere to go but up I was like sjgbjdjfdj it was good omg. But he flipped out when he had to defend it he was like oh my god no sjfbfje.

Phil said a double rainbow was bad because apparently there's a double rainbow song and it always gets stuck in your head?? So Dan was like oh my god you got it stuck in my head and he was like there are like five songs permanently stuck in my head it's that one and there's Chandelier by Sia I'll be doing anything and my brain is like *he sang part of chandelier I was shook help my emotions god I love it when he sings* and he did a lil acting about the anger and frustration when it's in his head LMAO.

EVERY TIME PHIL GOT ONE RIGHT HE WOULD DO THE CUTEST LITTLE JUMP UP IN THE AIR Y'ALL I CANT HANDLE IT IT WAS SO ADORABLE IM DEAD IM DEAD. AND THEN WHEN HE WAS JUST STANDING HE WOULD LIKE SWAY HIS HIPS BACK AND FORTH/SIDE TO SIDE WITH HIS ARMS CROSSED. AND Y'ALL. Y'ALL????? MISS BAYLEY??? MISS BAYLEY?? OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE FUCKING DEAD. I CANT.

Then Dan "time to stop this before we get arrested." What did we learn from that experiment? Phil: "that I have a dark seed growing in my soul" y'all he said it in his really low voice I was s h o o k. Like Phil Lester had officially graduated to 'looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you.' Dan: "somewhere in the dank cave of my soul,,,, there is a single beam of sunlight that broke through the ceiling." --- happy middle ground between doing what you want and what other people want aw.

They were like you guys want to know about Dan and Phil's real relationship. Fast forward to we secretly hate each other and Dan was like I'm just an actor Phil hired ten years ago and it got quickly out of hand and I was like ajfbcnsjd. You only know the good side of Dan and Phil when we're happy and loving and having a good time. "But there's angst, and tension, and cereal stealing related betrayals." To know the real Dan and Phil you have to see the dark side. "Time to push our little bond until it breaks. In,, the DAN VS PHIL EXTREME FRIENDSHIP TEST."

Time to test their friendship to the max! Buzzer time ladies, gents, and nonbinary friends. I'm dead. They had the prettiest background on the screen for this where they had their fists up and were pretending to fight each other I can't deal with it. "The easiest way to cause each other pain - electrocution" I sjtbfjdndjw. "We will literally be punishing each other for being bad friends."

Psychic connections first (they think of the same thing from a category, or else "zappy zappy ouch time") their category was dairy products, they beamed it to each other, and Phil said STRAWVERRY MILKSHAKE. LMAO DAN GOT SO MAD HE ROASTED HIM HE WAS LIKE WHY WOULD I SAY STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE PHIL WHAT THE HECK WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY MILK. it was hilarious oh my god. HE CALLED HIM AN IDIOT AND PHIL WAS LIKE STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE SOUNDS NICER. AND Y'ALL EVERY TIME THEY GOT SHOCKED THEY WOULD JUMP AND SHAKE THEIR HANDS AND HOMESTLY ITS THE CUTEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY BOTH GET ZAPPED AT THE SAME TIME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IM OBSESSED WITH IT.

DAN PHIL OR A RAT I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS GONNA BE IN THE SHOW DAN SAID PHIL WANTED TO PUT IT IN AJTBJDEJS OMG YES. Phil thought his was his hair, but it was a rat so he got zapped (they turned up the power/volume between each challenge sjrbfjs), and Dan thought his was Phil but it was actually himself so he got zapped. WHEN PHIL GOT ZAPPED HE WAS JUMPING AROUND AND HE WENT WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU- DGESICKLES AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM DIED. After Dan saw his was himself he goes "who submitted that photo" lmao.

Dilemma time! They have to save each other or sacrifice something for the other. Phil is being attacked by a shark, but to save him Dan has to have his square hair for a year. Dan called the person who submitted it a sadist lmao. But y'all Dan is so whipped Dan would do anything for Phil at first he was like you don't really need one of your limbs you don't really use them for anything and Phil was like what?!? yes I do I'm so clumsy I need all my limbs and Dan eventually was like yeah it would suck and you guys would all laugh at me, but I would do it to keep Phil from being eaten by a shark. (The shark is a big shark and it likes a nibble on British boys, as Phil said.)

Dan is being abducted by aliens ("the Dan mpreg story you all want," as put so nicely by Dan himself), but Phil has to give up both his arms to save him (lmao very common limb losing theme here). Phil is not going for it "I need those to do things!" he's clumsy etc Dan is like just make a decision already and Phil goes "it's only a little probing, they'll return you to earth, you can go on one of those mystery weird science tv shows and make loads of money from that!" (capita£ester strikes again) is that your decision Phil yes and he prepares himself to get shocked and Bam aw haha.

Phil lost, Dan gets a point. The loser gets the HIGHEST SHOCK POWER BITCHES. they turn it up from red to blue. Phil holds out his hand with the shock thing in it, Dan says "Any last words?" And PHIL GOES "Dad." WHAT. akrbgjebejdjejsb. Then he gets SHOCKED.

They've been keeping track for the whole tour of who wins and who loses. Dan has 18 wins but Phil has 21!!!!! Clearly the better friend.

My phone was getting low on battery so I don't have any videos or audio for like twenty minutes but I remember most of it.

That zapping was intense, time to chill for a bit, the audience doesn't really want to. They put the shock things away, and Phil goes and sits on the front of the stage ;-; look at his legs help me guys he's so long and adorable help. He has his notecards they turn off all the screens and effects except for two lights, and Dan sits on one of the benches it's cute af I love him. Phil is like I have some questions from the audience we're gonna get a bit more intimate (send help).

They say hi to all the people who ask questions really soft (or Dan does) but Phil says the first like three pretty intensely/seriously and Dan is like Phil that is not casual! It's cute af.

Someone asks whether to get a moon or star tattoo - they ask the audience and the audience chooses moon. How to get their mom to accept it? Dan: "wait until you turn eighteen and then speed out of there bye! No I'm kidding don't do that." Phil says tell Mom you got an enormous back tattoo of a three legged horse, and when she's freaking out tell her JK it's just a little moon on my ankle! Dan laughs but he's like or you could just say this is really important to me and I want to appreciate things that are pretty and blah blah blah he gives actual deep and good advice he says it really fast I love him I love him I love him I'm gonna cry and they're like but the horse thing would probably work too haha.

Questions about Dan and Phil! The AmazingPhil video??? They talked about how they filmed it on the tour bus and how weird their texts are and how they have their alien language "ice cream, BLURRRGHHHH" etc it's cute, and Phil's like editing on the tour bus but he hopes it'll be up tomorrow or the next day (so that would be today or tomorrow since I'm posting this so late) and Dan's like as long as he doesn't vomit on his laptop editing on the tour bus hopefully tomorrow or day after. It's soft I'm so excited for the video guys :').

What have they experienced that they wish they had filmed? Not a lot they value living life without screens sometimes, Phil especially says he likes just having memories in his head. They talked about how weird it would be to have like the contact lens cameras where you can just see everything you do all the time, but they wouldn't like those. But Dan talked about how at Phil's (old) house up in the mountains they once saw (green) ball lightning even though everyone says it doesn't exist they saw it during a storm (were they watching a storm together at Phil's house I'm 😭) lightning hit like this building and then they saw the ball floating there for a few seconds and then it exploded and caught a tree on fire or something and they looked at each other and were like did you see that and y'all it was v soft none of their friends believe them but I believe them that's soft.

Then Phil says once when he was in Florida with his family they were out on a dock and a family of manatees swam under the dock and there were two babies and he saw them really closely and help me that's adorable they were both talking about how cute the babies were ah it was so sweet and soft.

Then it's the end of the segment and the question and Dan stands up and goes "alternately, the Vegas video" WHAT THE FUCK I COULDNT EVEN SCREAM I LITERALLY WOULD NOT HAVE IN A MILLION YEARS GUESSED THAT HE WOULD HAVE MENTIONED THAT. My soul left my body.

Ok! Back, and time for the golden I awards!!! They had talked about the set and the phallic i s on the sides of the set when they first came out, and what they stood for and all that stuff, but now they were like this show is for you so we have the first ever Richmond golden I awards I was shook.

Most inaccurate II predictions some nominees were "Dan and Phil leave the stage. We run the show now." And they talked about how we could all go up on stage and sing Welcome To The Black Parade (towards the beginning Dan apologized for g-noting us lmao wow). WINNER ISSSS Gerard Way comes out on an elephant and tramples Dan and Phil. They laughed and then they were both like honestly I'd be down with that I'd be okay with that. PHIL SAID "TRAMPLE ME DAD" WKGNJSJETHTS.

Pets! (Phil: "our furry friends!!" Dan: "not furry - fluffy! Fluffy friends. Pets!") Cute smol white fluffy dog in an II hoodie I think or maybe just a black hoodie as Dan in bed, and Dan was like wow that's literally me it was cute skskfksksk. A cat wearing askew glasses and a plaid shirt was Phil and Dan laughed and was like "I love how your entire personality can be summed up with glasses and a plaid shirt." It was cute af. Winner was a cat with an eclipse and a coconut on it's head as Dan awww.

Parents! I didn't know they did this, but they had pics of three parents and gave the winner to the best sour puss grump who didn't want to come we gave all the parents a round of applause for coming and all that good stuff it was nice and Phil/they used they/them pronouns for all the parents like 😭😭😭😭😭 I'm fucked up it was so good.

Also they wore THESE REALLY PRETTY AND REALLY SPARJLY JACKETS FOR THE AWARDS LIKE THEY RAN OFF AND THEN CAME BACK AND. WE WERE ALL SCREAMING AND DANS WAS SILVER BUT PHILS WAS GOLD LIKE THE TATINOF ONES AND THEY WERE SO SOARKLY AND SO PRETTY AND 😭😭.

Then one last award right we get Phil's diss track, Dan playing piano, OR a random video of a dog that has nothing to do with Dan or Phil. At this point I was very confused bc I had seen the spoilers and thought I knew both the first two things happened. So they said the dog video won and I was like sjfbsjsj what. It was a v cute dog slo mo running through snow and they talked about how cute and majestic it was and Phil said "trample me" akfbcjsj again. But then Phil went and got his hat AJTBDJSJD THE HAT HE MEANS BUSINESS AND BAM LAUNCHES INTO HIS DISS TRACK OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS I THOUGHT I WAS READY BUT I WASNT I THOUGHT I WAS READY TO HEAR HIM SAY BITCH BUT I WAS NOT.

Y'all honest to god he rapped really freaking well like he has the rhythm down he's practiced so much I'm so proud of him sjfnfje.

Then HERES DAN WITH A PIANO (I need to study the lyrics bc I videoed it but it was a lot to take in and kind of hard to hear the lyrics with everyone screaming.) Omg bb he looked so pretty.

And they sang together I love them so much and then they came back on stage and waved to everyone and we stood up and held up our signs and then they went back to be moved away from the stage with the piano and they crouched and waved really far down until they couldn't see us anymore 😭.

Also Dan said the super best friends and soulmates thing, and he said when Phil is a hundred wait no ninety he'll remember when we came to Richmond and talked about Satan and furries and sjfnfdnjdej my heart?

Towards the beginning we screamed super loud for something and Dan said we broke the sound barrier and we just screamed louder ;-;

At the beginning Phil said most of the internet is in cables under Virginia, which I didn't know, so Dan said all our Wattpad smut is stored underneath us. They did their research XD. Also the way they said Virginia had me shook, but I was one hundred percent expecting them to say it in their American accents and then make a virgin joke, but they didn't! I wish they had done their American accents more, but it was literally such an incredible show and I can't believe it's over.

During the piano bit Phil sang his part and then got down on his knees and Dan was like sorry sorry Phil you're in my light this is the Dan and Phil show not the Phil and background piano guy show and Phil was like oh sorry and Dan was like should we sing it together? And ;-;.

There was one point where I was so close to crying when they were talking about how important we are to them and how they just want to please us and shit and like. 😭

I'm forgetting so much stuff and this is so long...

#i've been so sad all day #like i feel like im on the verge of bursting out sobbing #i cant believe i havent cried yet #i cant believe it happened and its over #interactive introverts #interactive introverts spoilers #ii spoilers #richmond ii #dan and phil #dnp #amazingphil #dan howell #july 12th 2018

[shreyamistry]

ooo can i have angst 18 and 26? for aiden? m!mc? if thats not too much to ask for? ily

“Do you think you could teach me that?” “I fucked up...” “Shut up and kiss me already.” “I’m dying.” “I wish I never met you.”

Aiden x M!MC (Axel Griffin)

Notes: Currently closed, but when they open rules here! Don’t know what to request?  Check out my prompts list found here! Check bio for if requests open!

Summary: Aiden remembers his time with Axel, their first real connection, the time he fucked up and ruined everything, the kiss that saved them, and their final goobye. With the help of his friends Aiden accepts what happened.

Aiden stands in front of the mirror, his hands moving to the tie around his neck, that he barely had the strength to finish tying himself, his hands shaking with his thoughts and sadness. Tears building on his tear duct, as he closes them holding his breath to help steady himself from the chaos of pain and hurt that burrows deep into his chest. He couldn’t let himself fall apart, he needed to be strong for Axel.

He finishes fixing up his hair in his bathroom mirror, putting his toothbrush back into its cup, his eyes lingering on the cup, misery filling in his chest as the image in his head felt off looking at the cup. Even now his toothbrush container felt empty, and he pulls open the medicine cabinet’s mirror pulling the toothbrush in the zip-lock bag out and putting it back into the cup with his own, and everything feels normal for a few seconds.

He exits the bathroom, where his parents stand in the doorway of his bedroom, a soft comforting smile on his mother’s lips, an equally meaningful look on his father’s face who chooses to make no eye contact.

“Are you ready Aiden?”

Aiden watches Axel with curious eyes, as he sits perched at Aiden’s piano. Aiden didn’t think he could ever be ready for the moment to come, his mind hurt just thinking about the atrocity he was sure was to follow watching him play Aiden’s piano. He had already apologized to the piano for what was to come.

“You don’t have to look like you need to vomit Aiden.” Axel grins, pressing down on a key of the piano. “I’m an all natural piano player, you won’t be able to keep up.”

“I highly doubt-” Aiden falls quite as Axel starts hitting keys to obviously tune him out. He watches with slight heartache, the terrible flow and missing of notes that were clearly obvious, he couldn’t believe he let Axel talk him into this. “Please stop before you hurt both of us.”

“How would I hurt myself Aiden?” Axel asks, crossing his arms over his chest, Aiden wanted to chuckle at the cute face he made in response to Aiden’s statement, he couldn’t help himself to stop falling for Axel.

“I was speaking about the piano and me, not you.” Aiden walks over to where Axel sat, resting one hand onto the piano and one hand onto Axel’s shoulder, “You’ll get better I promise.” Aiden hoped, prayed almost, that he wasn’t lying to Axel.

“Do you think you could teach me that?” Axel looks at Aiden with a pleading smile in reference to the song on their music stand. Aiden wanted to deny the request, he definitely didn’t have time for a relationship let alone to teach a cute boy he barely knows how to play the piano. But his mouth spoke before his brain could stop him.

“Under one condition, you take it seriously,” Aiden asserts.

“Absolutely.” Axel grins, “I can do that.” Aiden nods, sitting down next to Axel, their arms brushing against each other as he leans forward to fix the music sheets in front of them, Aiden could feel himself blush pretending the moment is not happening. “Are you blushing?”

“Shush, we have work to do,” Aiden replies, still refusing to make eye contact with Axel denying him the enjoyment he wanted from watching Aiden squirm and feel blushy and nervous. He hated this feeling with all his heart, and he hated that Axel pulled it out of him so well. Aiden straightens, his posture encouraging Axel to do the same, and Axel, of course, follows his direction.

Aiden brings his hands to keys and Axel moves his hands besides Aiden’s, “Now this is the C key.” Aiden states, pushing his finger down softly onto the key, looking at Axel out of the corner of his eye, as his hand pushes down the same key after Aiden, “Now is the D key.” Aiden then pushes on the key, and Axel does the same after him. “And this is the E key.” And they both push it together, and Aiden can’t help that smile that forms on his lips afterward. “Now play the song.”

“Can you show me again?” Axel asks shyly, Aiden studies his expression softly, the confusion hiding under his typically confident demeanor, his eyes wide staring at all the keys that Aiden showed him, with a huff Aiden places his hands on top of Axel’s leading him through the first part of the song, it’s awkward and there are pauses that shouldn’t be there. He can’t help but notice how soft Axel’s hands are, and how warm they are to the touch, or how much he enjoys holding them even if he feels he shouldn’t. “Thanks, Aiden.”

Aiden smiles holding the door open for Maria who walks into the building before them, her face shaded with sadness that hurt Aiden to see, even if he and Maria weren’t the best of friends he still genuinely cared about her. “This is all so weird.” Maria’s hands pressing her black dress down, smoothing out the forming wrinkles.

Aiden knows what she means, he doesn’t quite know how to acknowledge it or accept it, but he puts a smile on his face resting a hand on Maria’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” The best comfort he could offer her right now, he was fairly new to the comforting emotions as he held very few friends before meeting Axel.

“Yeah, I knoww you’re right, but still.” Maria lets out a sigh, turning her eyes towards Aiden and he nods in agreement, he completly undertstands the feeling. She seems grateful the nods of agreement, maybe she felt weird about feeling it as well. ”I’ll save you and Myra a seat, I just need to use the restroom.” Maria smiles, and Aiden pulls his hand from her shoulder, letting it fall back into his pocket, giving her a soft nod as she excuses herself to the restroom, Aiden walks around for a while finding a place with no people, he finds a staircase leading to an upper floor coming to a stop in a small room with a piano sitting inside, his eyes feeling heavy all of a sudden.

He approaces the piano and sits down on the bench. Brushing a tear off his cheek, pushing his lips into a straight thin line to stop himself from crying.

“Aiden, are you okay?”

Axel sits in Aiden’s car watching him, Aiden rests his head in his hands his elbows resting on the steering wheel, Axel’s voice is soft and he refuses to leave the car even though they’ve been sitting outside his house for twenty minutes. Aiden wasn’t okay, but he didn’t know how to tell Axel that.

“I fucked up…” Aiden admits, with a burdening sigh. He watches Axel for a few hesitant seconds, his face crinkling in confusion at Aiden’s word, he knew the statement was fairly ominous, but he couldn’t bring the words out of him as he had wished.

“What do you mean?” Axel’s voice is soft and comforting and Aiden doesn’t deserve the kindness offered to him by Axel, he watches Axel shift in his seat facing Aiden more, his hand falling on Aiden’s back rubbing in soothing circles. “You can tell me Aiden, I’m your boyfriend, you can always trust me.”

“It was me.” Aiden replies hesitantly, leaning up to face Axel. “I lied when I said someone stole my password, I told Cameron the audition was postponed.” He waits for the anger, the response anything, but he looks over and sees the tears forming in Axel’s eyes, as he nods softly. “I’m very sorry.”

“Why’d you do it?” Axel asks, his voice straining. “Did you not think I was good enough to win it myself?”

“Axel, it wasn’t like that.”

“Clearly it was since I didn’t win the solo anyway. You didn’t even believe in me and I do nothing but believe in you and this is the thanks I get? I can’t even fathom why you thought this was okay.”

“I didn’t want you to feel like a failure if you got the second chair instead of first for the solo.” Aiden admits, and he can see the hurt in Axel’s face.

“So you didn’t believe in me.” Axel nods with resonating silence following Aiden after the statmenet. The air around them felt tense and strong, Aiden bites down into his lower lip to keep himself from making this worse.

“Are we okay?” Aiden regrets saying it as soon as he does, but he couldn’t tell if Axel wanted to break up with him in that moment or not. 

“I need to go Aiden.” Axel pushes open the car door before Aiden can stop him and he’s already walking up the steps to his house, Aiden feels his heart beat faster in his chest watching him enter his house without even looking back and he knows he fucked up big time. There was no coming back from that.

His phone chimes a few seconds later.

I’m here if you need to talk

Aiden smiles softly at Myra’s offer, he’d thought of taking her up on it later, but at that moment he was ready to stop talking about it. Everyone always wanted to talk about their feelings lately, and he grew tired of it, he knew Axel would scold him if he found out Aiden was bottling up his feelings yet again but talking just means hurting in Aiden’s book.

“That’s very kind of you to offer.” He smiles pleasantly at her.

“Formalities.” Myra jokes, she takes Aiden’s arm into her own. “Everyone from Berry is here. Even most of Hearst, can you believe that?”

“I can.” Aiden asserts, and he can. For today he can believe that most of Berry and Hearst are here for Axel, after all the time, energy, love, and aggression he poured into the two schools, it was no wonder they all came to celebrate. “I even saw Max and Kara outside.”

“I did too, can you believe Max and Kara?”

Aiden rolled his eyes, watching Max and Kara walk around like they owned Prom and were already voted Prom King and Queen, he didn’t believe for a split second that they would win when they were up against Mia and Axel, Kara and Max lacked so much compared to his junior companions.

“Not surprising,” Maria shrugs, “I’ve heard worse stories from Jade about last year’s prom.”

“Yeah, they totally pushed some poor girl down the stairs so she wouldn’t be able to attend prom. Could be a myth, but how would you explain the clear frontrunner magically disappearing?” Jade shrugs, “Not to mention they were last seen with her.”

“I hate that.” Axel laughs breathlessly, Aiden watching him with curious eyes. “Who cares if they win, I don’t need a crown to know I’m lucky enough to have great friends like all of you.” Aiden can see him purposely not look at him, and it makes him feel sad again, he hoped that Axel could forgive him before Prom, he wanted to share the occasion with him, he was the only reason Aiden choose to attend.

“Let’s hit the dance floor. I’m ready to show off my moves.” Everyone turns their attention to Luis, Emma giggling at him with a handful of their friends as well.

“I’ll stay here and watch your belongings.” Aiden comments, getting a few thank you in response from a few of the girls who brought purses that they left on the table. Aiden twiddles his thumbs sitting by himself, the catchy music playing around them, before he notices Axel falling into the chair next to him. “Axel.”

Axel smiles softly, “Aiden.”

“I’m so-”

“Shut up and kiss me already.” Axel grins, leaning in close to Aiden. Aiden smiles in response, resting his hand on the back of Axel’s neck pulling him in close, his lips pushing against Axel’s softly, his body feeling a brand new warmth that’s left him over the last few weeks that he and Axel were apart. Axel pulls away slightly breathless, “God did I miss that.” Aiden chuckles in response. “Also, Jade was not lying. I got triped after school today and rolled my ankle. Mia told me not to come into school today on top of it.”

“That’s why she wasn’t in homeroom.” Aiden nods, getting a laugh from Axel.

“Thanks for coming.”

Aiden smiles at Scott, who pulls him into a hug, normally Aiden would not accept hugs from his friends' parents, but he knew Scott could use a hug at the moment. Having to deal with everything by himself, Axel’s mother long passed away when he was younger. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss this, Mr. Griffin.”

“Please stop calling me, Mr. Griffin, Aiden. Just call me Scott.” Aiden notices the smile on his face as he pulls away, but the sadness in his eyes tells a different story, as he hugs Myra next and thanks her for coming. “I asked them to save you and your friends a row up front. You’re welcomed to say a few words if you’d like.”

“Thank you, Scott.” Myra smiles, Aiden’s grateful for her being there so he doesn’t have to form words at the moment, not knowing if they’d even come out. He excuses himself to go talk to other people walking through the door, as Myra and Aiden head off towards the section where Sydney, Michael, Maria, and Emma already sat. They approach the teary-eyed group, everyone exchanging glances, he never saw Michael look so sad in his entire life of knowing him.

“I miss Axel.” Sydney nods, leaning her head on Maria’s shoulder, who wraps her arm around her comfortingly. Emma leans against Sydney too, her face flushed with tears, Aiden assumes she stays silent so she doesn’t completly break down.

Michael rubs his hand soothingly against her arm, as comfortingly as he can. “I’m angry about all of this.”

Aiden watches Axel sit up in his bed in the hospital room, looking around at all the fancy equipment plugged into Axel, a few machines beeping in response to the sudden movement, Aiden’s eyes landing on the bandana tied around Axel’s head. “I’m so fucking fed up with all these fucking machines, Aiden.”

“I’m sorry, Axel.” Aiden approaches the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, looking up at him with sad eyes. “Can I get you anything?”

“I’m dying, Aiden, there’s literally nothing you can do for me.” He growls, and Aiden shrinks inside of himself, he knows Axel doesn’t mean it entirely, he’s just angry about everything that’s happening to him and around him. “I wish I never met you, sometimes.”

That hurts Aiden, he didn’t want Axel to grow to regret their relationship, but he could understand completely why Axel felt the way he did, or at least he tried to tell himself so. “I’m happy we met.”

“Why? We never even got a future we planned, we both didn’t get to go to college together, follow our dreams together, we have a broken relationship.” Axel sighs, falling backward into his bed. Aiden rests his hand on Axel’s knee giving him a gentle reassuring smile.

“Because you’ve made me happier than anyone in my entire life, Axel,” Aiden admits, he watches Axel's face grow sad, a lingering look on his face as Aiden continues to talk. “You’ve helped me to realize there is more to life than just music. You taught me to love, make friends, be open.” Aiden admits.

“And I’m already abandoning you.”

“No, you’re not. You can get through this surgery, and even if you don’t, I never for one second ever would regret the life we shared even if it was only for 2 years.” Aiden leans forward, resting his forehead against Axel’s. “I’ll never stop loving you, Axel.” He places a gentle lingering kiss on Axel’s lips.

“Thanks for everything Aiden.”

Aiden says the same last words he hears leave Axel’s lips before he went into the surgery that would save his life if it worked, sadly he fell victim to the fifty-fifty life and death rate of the surgery. Aiden stands at his casket looking down at his lover, peacefully resting in the casket, his beautiful features still just as beautiful when he was alive.  “Thanks for everything Axel,” Aiden says one last time, wiping away the tears rolling down his face. Myra comes up beside him nudging him with her arm, a sweet smile.

“You were a great boyfriend to him Aiden.”

And it finally hurt as he falls into Myra’s arm, supporting himself on her much smaller frame.  And he was the best boyfriend he could be to Axel, and he would have been the best husband he could have been if Axel lived through this surgery.

#aiden zhou #aiden x mc #mc x aiden #hss #choices hss #High School Story #choices high school story #ask #answered #prompt #request #endormifleurs #that's all the aiden requests i have until my requests open back up #i fucked up #shut up and kiss me already #im dying #I wish I never met you #do you think you could teach me that #myra khandaar #michael harrison #maria flores #emma hawkins #sydney kym

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 2

Homestuck high Chapter 2: Karkats incident and Jades secret, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

hi guys this is chapter 2. i finished chapter 1 a while back b4 my other beta reder got busy wit school since she didnt start then so now my otherfriend said shed beta it insted. ITS A LOT BETTER NOW THNK U SO MUUUUUCH CAROLYN UR A BETTER EDITER THAN JANE.

~Why do I have a feeling it's gonna be worse

Everyone went to teh hospitl

~Knew it

to see Karkat. He was in a comma. Everyone was crying, even Dave was crying a little bit because he and Karkat were best frends. They did lots of things togther (AN: no gay stuff tho! thats gross!)

~RIP Davekat

and so he was upset Karkat would try and do this to himself.

~Is the author going to explain why Karkat decided "OH SHIT LET'S COMMIT SUICIDE FOR SEEMINGLY NO REASON THAT'S A GOOD IDEA YEP 10/10"

"Is he gonna be allright" John inquisisted the doctor

~Inquisisted

"If it wasnt for you kids he wouldnt be" the doctor said

~A: What did they do to help him?

~B: The author just admitted that the kids are in fact still children despite the fact that none of them seem to be virgins

"So he is going to be okay?" Dave weeped

"He will suffer amnesiea and may never walk again" the doctor solemnly said.

~Hold on, amnesia is caused by brain damage, but paralysis is caused by damage to the spine. What did Karkat do to damage both his brain AND spine?

"NO!" Dave escalated loudly

~Escalated loudly

John and Rose were waiting outside. Rose was very upset. She dated Karkat when she was younger and she lost her virginity to him.

~A: Rose is a lesbian

~B: How the fuck did Karkat date her when she was younger? They were in different universes!

He was her first love and she never really gog

~Gog

over him.

"I cant believe he would do this hes so emo" Rose moaned

~Why is everyone either goth or emo

"I am sorry!" John proclaimed

~What does John have to do with this?

"John" Rose said seductivley "Can u take my mind off it"

~Rose no stop it

John gulped. He knew what Rose wanted but he wasnt sure if he was ready for it yet. Rose was a sex goddess

~And a minor

and he was a geek who never got less than 100 perfect in any lessons. But he had no scores in the sex department.

~So he got 0% in Sex-Ed? But he never got less than 100% in any lessons? YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, I SEE THROUGH YOUR LIES

"Rose" John pronounced "I do not think now is the right time!"

"U want to wait?" Rose raised her eyebbrow

"I want are first time to be specil" John announced

~Specil

"Ok" Rose said moodily.

Five days later Karkat woke up from his coma and everyone came to pick him up. Dave was very happy his friend was awake and brought along cheetos and pepsi to celebrate.

~i specifically requested apple juice rose wheres my fucking aj

The girls had been to thhe beach and so they were in their bikinis.

~Stop

Rose was wearing a lethar tight string thang bikini which showed of her private areas

~I said stop it now

while Jade wore a black lacey one with a 'D' over her left boob becase she loved Dave.

~S T O P

"He is suffering with severe head tramaur" the doctor said shakily "he does not remember his name!"

~I want an enter name screen. How about "cancerous fuckwad" *badum tshhh*

Everyone gasped.

"No! Karkat!" Dave discharged

"Who is Karkat my name is Tarvos" Karkat said questioninly

~Orange is the new Grey

"He can no longer walk either he must go in a wheelchair" said doctor We do not know if he will recover

~Dear lord he's really becoming Tavros

"How could this happen" Gamzee shot "All he want was to be normal"

They all left the hospital and Karkat was rolling himself happily while everyone was crying they had lost one of their best freinds and school would no longer be the same how were they supposed to hang around with him now he was in awheelchar.

~Forget his amnesia and probable brain damage, him being in a wheelchair is the most important issue!

To lighten the mood they decided to go to mcdonnalds and so they all went there and ordered burgers and chips and chicken nuggest for everyone to eat except for vriska who ate the napkins instead.

~But why though

"Golly I REALLY like these chicken nuggets" Karkat happily said

~Priorities

"Karkat..." Dave began "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM."

"My name is Tarvos! Not Karkat!" Karkat exclamated. He smashed the chicken nugget down on the table and squished it like a bug as he looked at the floor. He was ANGRY.

~Calm down

Gamzee sighed "I guess we shall call him Tarvos"

"YAY" Karkat, now Tarvos sang explendidly.

~Why is he so persistent in his belief that he's Tavros? Or sorry, "Tarvos". If I got serious brain damage, was told I had amnesia, and people kept telling me my name was Joe or something, I would probably believe them

"These napkins taste like piss" Vriska snooted as she gobbled one up.

~Why are you eating the napkins then?

"I used that one to wipe myself after I peed..." Jade whimpered.

~A. What the fuck

~B. And you put it back!?

"Ok" Vriska said, munching away.

~What the hell Vriska why are you ok with this

"When did you go to pee" Rose asked curiously

~Wait, if Rose doesn't remember Jade going to the bathroom, that means she did it at the table. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Jade looked down at the floor while fiddling with his black lace panties "When you all weren't looking...I..I needed to take a pregnancy test."

"WHAT!" everyone but Feferi exclaimed because she was too cool

~feferi give me my fucking shades back

"Dave..." Jade began "I AM PREGNANT!

~

~I already used this image in the last story but I don't care

gasp! Jade is PG!

~That's not what PG stands for

what will happn now! will karkat get better? REVIEW

~This story's pacing is so weird. I'm 99% sure they were just coming up with plot points as they wrote, which would explain Karkat's shit suddenly doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle into the embrace of a failed suicide attempt causing shit to get into an unstable relationship with the fan leading to several years of relationship counselling and dear god what am I even writing

~Anyways, from this point onwards, I have no idea what's going to happen in the story, so wish me luck as I burrow fuck deep into the hellhole that is this fanfiction

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction