badhomestuckfanfiction-blog

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

I was bored have these

On a more significant note: Auditions have opened to voice The Star Within here. I’m probably going to do it regardless of whether I get enough roles filled but it would be better if I had different people voicing different characters

#The Star Within #Blog Post

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Daddy Dearest

Daddy Dearest, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~I haven't even read it yet and I'm already scared

Title: Daddy Dearest

Pairing: Dad/John

~Oh my fucking God no

Rating: M

~*Groans*

Warning: This contains incest

~I mean, John's adopted, and his dad is technically his half-brother and OH GOD THAT MAKES IT WORSE

(But John is aged up to 16 even though it's a childish sort of tone)

~A: He's still a minor so don't be pulling any Homestuck High shit

~B: John's dad died when John was 13, so that's impossible. Unless it's Jane's dad, which would make him John's son and OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS KEEPS ON GETTING MORE FUCKED UP

~~~~~~~~~~~~Daddy Dearest

~I'm in for a hell of a ride

John is a good boy.

And he loves his daddy.

~No stop

John loves making his daddy happy.

~I command you to stop

He always makes good grades in school so his daddy will smile and pat him on the head.

~I guess that's not too bad

He learned to bake even though he hates cakes so his daddy would praise him and give him hugs.

~Sounds like a pretty healthy father-son relationship

He never uses bad words and is always polite so his daddy gives him kisses.

~Ok this is starting to get creepy but I suppose there's nothing wrong with that

John loves how his daddy still lets him sit in his lap.

~

And he loves how his daddy's arms hold him close, all snug and warm.

~This is getting increasingly creepier

John loves how his daddy undresses him for bathtime.

~OH MY FUCKING GOD NO

~Well this was a sudden turn of events

And he loves that he's allowed to undress his daddy.

~WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SHIT

John loves sitting in the bathtub with his daddy.

~NO BAD STOP

And that his daddy is careful to wash him everywhere.

~MY EYES

He loves how his daddy wraps him in a big fluffy towel and picks him up.

~Ok, this is normal for 6 year olds, not 16 year olds

And he loves how his daddy lays him very gently on his bed.

~Oh God I think I know where this is going

John loves when his daddy kneels over him and starts gently touching him, carresing him.

~NO MEANS NO

And he loves the soft murmurs of encouragement he gets when he moans softly, like a mewling kitten.

~HALT! DEUS VULT!

He loves when his daddy gently spreads his legs, hands so gentle like he's afraid he'll break John.

~NONONONONONONONONO STOP NOW

And he loves when his daddy's slick fingers press inside of his little hole,

~OH MY GOD

finding this little spot that makes him shudder and mewl and vision go white.

~WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF

John loves how his daddy gently strokes his small cock as he pulls his fingers out.

~WHY DO I READ THIS SHIT

And he's careful to take deep breaths like his daddy says, keeping himself relaxed.

~WHY DO PEOPLE WRITE THIS SHIT

John has no problem relaxing and even smiling softly as his daddy presses the head of his cock to his stretched hole; he knows it hurts a little at first, it always does.

~WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

But John trusts his daddy, and his daddy never hurts him on purpose.

~"ON PURPOSE"!?!?!?!?!?!?

And it does hurt, and John clenches his daddy's shoulders, trying not to cry.

~

And his daddy softly murmurs what a good boy he is and strokes him gently, rubbing his sides and back where he can reach to comfort John.

~STOP NO FUCK YOU GO AWAY THIS IS BAD STOP PLEASE

His daddy waits, patiently still, until John has adjusted and is nodding to move.

~JOHN NO DON'T DO IT

And his daddy thrusts into him, soft and slow.

~*SCREECHING*

Until John starts mewling and squirming, pressing the softest kisses to his daddy's cheeks and neck, then his daddy thrusts a little faster, and just a little harder.

~NO BAD STOP THIS IS NOT OKAY STOP NOW

And he hits that little spot again, and John arches up into his daddy's touch.

~

And his daddy keeps up his steady pace, stroking John in time, until John clenches his hands again, moaning loudly as he 'cums' (as his daddy calls it).

~OH MY GOD NO

His daddy shudders and kisses him lightly, as he cums inside of John, which feels warm and wet but nice.

~SOMEONE CALL CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES

John falls limp on his bed, giving a small, weak mewl as his daddy pulls out of him.

~JOHN NO THAT WAS VERY BAD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

His daddy cleans him up with the towel from his bath, and kisses his forehead, and tells John that he did good, and he loves him.

~Oh my God

And John smiles up at his daddy, as sweetly as he can manage, and tells his daddy that he loves him too, before yawning softly and kittenishly, rubbing at his eyes.

~*sobbing in corner*

His daddy tucks him snuggly into bed, brushing his hair back and kissing his forehead again, whispering goodnight.

~Get away from John you sick fuck

John whispers goodnight back, and his daddy leaves, turning off his light and closing the door.

~Never return

John snuggles down in his bed, soft little fingers curling gently in his sheets as he drifts off to sleep with only one thought in his head;

He loves his daddy.

~Well that was...

~Something

~(I’m linking to the gif because the file’s too big for tumblr)

~I'm going to go grab some mind-bleach, so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get out of here as fast as I can and try my best to forget this ever existed

#Miscellaneous Fanfiction #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

I need to slow down the update rate

I'm having trouble staying on top of it

#Blog Post

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 9

Homestuck high Chapter 9: The Gertrude Bass, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~This is the final chapter so once I finish it I'm FINALLY FREE... Until I find another fanfiction :(

im so thunkful for da revows im gettin for tha stry nd I DO NOT NEED HELP WITH IT OK I AM FINE my brother woz arrested an then i cldnt come on for a whiole but now dis stry is goin in a whole knew direction xP so haters u can fuck off go smewhere else ok fuck u

~Rude

Three weaks

~Three weaks

has past sence dave left Jade at the hospice wuh the babys an he ha#s climabed the ther mountain.

~Don't remind me

~Also, wasn't it John that was climbing the mountain?

He creid tear s thst wer like his eys color while scoopin the mountain.

~Wait a minute what? It's normal for a troll to cry their blood colour, but for Dave to cry red tears is just... Ew

The snow glew a crimson white and he creyd more. In the distence he saws Dad and Kanayon makeing out agenist a thistle branch in snow.

~Kanaya is canonically lesbian so no. Also, pedophilia

"Dad!" Dave squeels an d fingers his hand to Dad.

~But Dave doesn't have a dad

"What do you DO hear?"

"Suloux is delfowering menkind and so we must proscetate." Dad gloomy said.

~What the shit

"ok." Dave said.

~It's been a while since we had an underwhelming reaction

They makes there way to Dads controiversial limo and jump in to it.

~Controiversial limo

they sat around all sad like in silence. Huffs and puffs later, Dave bestotted a idea to the crowde. They eagerly wait in anticipatio

"I knmow what to do." Dave said. "We forum a band."

~How is that going to help?

"Dave you stupid." Kanaya moodely says,.

~My thoughts exactly

Dave glewered "NO." Dave had the shoulders of a politatician lookin over his polatical sun glasses. "do you FOOLS not get it? We...shal...defeater soluxe with the power."

~The power of what?

"Sugoi." Bro

~Where did Bro come from?

said aND gave dave a bass. Dave nods.

"You see..." Dave holded up the bass. "this is waht its about. the bass."

Kanaya genntley tooched

~Tooched

the bass. "This is a god catch. Bro u did really well catchiking this bass. Suloox will not stencil a chance."

~Stencil a chance

Bro smirks. "Heh. We'll im all aboot

~H O W   A B O O T   Y O U   E H ?

thee bass."

Dave fingered the scales of the bass. "Dad pull out the intesticale

~Intesticale

thingys and make guitaer strings for the bass." he paces the bass unto Dad who then fingers the bass.

"Yes..." Dad smelled the bass.

~What the hell

"freash air will be punish in to submisson at the sounds of this bass."

~Wat

Roxy wakes into the limo.

~Where the hell did you come from

"Hey gays whaddup."

~I don't think this is intentional but it's funny because literally everyone in the car except Dad is gay

"Valliant fool, do nt speek!" Dave wept gravely.

~Ok

"Dad speeks to the bass."

"...oooooooookkkkkkk..." Roxy stooped back wards and ontto Bros lap. "o-oh...B-bro.../"

~No stop

"Conference over. let us name.," Dave sermoned. the others nodded.

"...I know!" Roxie pooped up a light bulb.

~I did not need that image in my head

"Basselback."

Kanaya cackiled meaningfuly "Take your trash ridden nickelshit out of hear fuckgirl."

~#Kanayaworstfriend

Roxy poouted and snuggles into Bro's chest hair.

~No

"Meanie butt."

Dad decaded the limos stage. "I know. The Gertrude Bass."

~I don't know what that means but I'm not sure if I should look it up

"The Gertrude Bass!?" everyone exclaimed in a heat of inquisititivty awe.

~Wat

Dad through his hands toward the heavens skys and his non-political glasses pushwa themseluves up his nose.

~This means something but I can't figure it out

"all these darnded industrial kids these days weaving there origaminal band names. So...we take an ugly name (Gertrude after my fifth mistress) then adding the bass...we are all about gertrudes bass."

"Yes..." Dave beckoned then he fist bumped the air. "YES."

~The air doesn't want your fist bump

The Gertrude Bass plotte d and plannted there plans. Roxy demanded they must cover the song Poronograph by Nickelback, and they agreed.

~No

Dave was the leeds vocalis

~Leeds vocalis

and plays the Bass. Kanaya was heavy metal drums

~She doesn't play heavy metal drums, she is heavy metal drums

and even peareced her spetim and her tongue in three places.

~No

Roxy dawned lolita fashion

~NO

and plays the sexaphone

~Not sure if intentional typo or not

and Bro on egglectric guitar

~Egglectric guitar

and Dad was going to be the back in rapper like Marshall.

~Would be a more fitting role for Dave

Kanaya boy friend pap frank

~Wat

was gonna join but he decided they where too confirmist for his delicate tastes so makes out with Kanayas tougne rings in intervals.

~What the hell

Dave took the microphone and begin singing the Niclelbuck song:

"Look at this photograph...

Every time I do it makes me laugh

How your eyes get so red

And what the hell is on Daddys head?

~Wat

And this is where I grew up

I think the present owner fixed it up

I never knew we've never went without

The second floor is hard for sneaking out."

In the middle of the song Dad or 'Daddy' did a rap of imrpovisation and then they all stopped to celebrate with cheetos and pepsi max.

~#NotSoSubtleProductPlacement

It was a god feeling.

"Daddy. I like that."

~That's really creepy

Dad purred at Dave who lost his eyebros.

~Wait a minute what? Why is Dad calling Dave "Daddy"? This is some CaNWC level shit

Somewhere in the icy mountains, sollex heard the song, and made arangments with his brother skrollex

~Troll reproduction doesn’t work like that

to counteract The Gertrude Bass.

The bass was coming.

did u like it? pls reviw

~AND THAT'S THE END OF IT

~I'm kinda disappointed that it didn't get a proper end, but whatever. Time to find a new masterpiece

~I rate -10/10 demon babies, would not Tarvos again

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 8

Homestuck high Chapter 8: Solluxs Lair, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

im rely happy with al of thw reviws im getin from people an evryoen giving me support! im 1000000 percent serius about this story!

~I SMELL LIES

and im sory about sum of da wierd spelings i gt a virud n itz mesed up mi comp :c so sum ov it locks wired?

~This is almost unreadable

AND AS 4 DA OTHA REVIWS DA ONEZ HO R DAYIN DAT DIS IS BAD ITZ NOT OKAY!? I WORK RELY HARD ON DA PLOX 4 DIS U DNT UNDERSTATMUNT AN U DNT NO WATS CUMIN OKAY SO DNT JUDGE U ASSHOS. TO PROVE OU WRON I FINALY GT MY STY OF MI HRDDRIVE N I ROTE IT PROPRLY CUZ U AL HAV A PROBLEM WIV MI WAY SO WEN U RED IT TRY N FIND SUMMIN WRNG WIV IT DEN!

~What even is this paragraph

Rose was seating sadly on the bed with the carcasses of fracktured bones and devil chi;ldren surronded at her feet with the blood of angleic innosence on her fingertips.

~Oh. Ok

Sollux hath taken her away from her friendships and had carved her into a crimsen spicked room with mutalated woman hanging from the cielings by their ovulation systems and with the baba fetuses in there eye sockets.

~What the shit

She new that if she wasn't plesurabl enough for Solux she would join them in there patehtic orginic mooonlight tango sway dancings.

~This is fucking terrifying

She dreamed of a dream that bleed into the feers of presipece and her eyed sangof a tail of forgetten masurcation.

~What the hell is forgotten masurcation?

"Rose" Sollex repairended as his cracked yellow and crusted fingernaels

~I know the author is just saying this because it makes him sound gross and evil but trolls actually do have yellow fingernails

claws at her underbelly with a loving delite "I can sence the baba's souL!"

~No thank you

The misphoniac creyd and excreeted loudly weith a voice that belowed songs from the hearth of a love she lost "No! YOu are a fat nerd geek with wired glasses

~Wired glasses

that feasts on the fetuses of gothic childs sent frm haven to punish your instigationed soul! I CAN;T HAV SIX WITH A TROLL LIKE YOU!"

~RIP Sollux x Rose

he probebly had fifteen girths any way.

~I've seen some weird fanart of Sollux with two bone bulges

"YOU LIE!"

~You kidnapped her why are you surprised that she doesn't want to fuck you

he hisses and his vemnom spat a cross the walls and turnwed the bodys of the mutalated victems in to hydrocloric acid and it leathered down and burnt throught the skull made floors.

~Oh

He flew flew backwards to the corner of his cieling and gloared at her with the fire of heathed passeon you can fdind in french lullabys.

~HON HON HON, OUI OUI, BAGUETTE, EIFFEL TOWER, POMME DU TERRE

"I lust johnatan NOT YOU!"

~His name's John not Jonathan

she eviscerated softly wilst she cries the velvit tears odf the mennopauses that climacate from the ruens of the reched pedimeants of life. "HE IS CUMMING FOR ME"

~Not sure if typo or not

"No Rosa..." Sollux abatemented and he toke of his glasses to reveal the eyes of a worm lordess who crathed the fleash of the billium rectations of lacing china silk and his sockets were emptyed with aluminiem tissues made from the pancreus of god,

~Jesus Christ

"HE HAS SEXUAL INTERCURSE WITH GAMHEE AND TAVROS IN THE MOUNTAIN." he came.

~I'm still not sure why they were on a mountain

Rose started to crey the tears of raen that fals on venus only no raen ever gos their becuz theres no warter but they were filed with the love of volcanic explshions and exploitees.

~So she's crying lava? Ouch

Her tears made ouddles on the floor as she run form the room and Sloluz laughed liekt the evil man he was and cascadared down so that the voilcanic water eruoted from her eyes went over his cloths and set them on fire but did not kil him becauze he's not flamabil.

~Actually, none of the trolls ever come in contact with fire so... ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

Soon he would watter his sweat rose with the piss of a 1000 dragoons beter then she watered herself (AN: LYK PHOTOSINFURSIS.)

~Wat

She preeched out her creys liek a jesus gospil book only it wasnt a book byut a song so shut up.

~Rude

Nepita came from the rapprochement of Neptune and flys through the windpw

~What the hell

smelling like the rottan corpses of a hundread falcons who eat the spit of neckbeerds and cry form the rapped childs of acquiescene and luggaged toward the willting flower.

~You know, like usual

She had bought froth the antediluvian waters of neptunia to heel her soul befor it was selled to the obsolote devil in dersey.

~Derse isn't hell

"Eat the water" she beleagured and rose eat it up.

~How do you eat water?

"You must fight the power" neptuina crotheled in dissamence her wiskers food from ASDA peace whistled in lite harmeny wen her eyes fested upon rose's week body.

~I honestly can't figure out what this sentence is supposed to say

her tonge rise forth from the grond to pluck out a needel thred that she plunged in to her skin so she to could dancing in the abanaxed magnatic heet of the sun with her pussy and handled it to Rose

~What the hell

"Use et as le lockpic."

~No thank you

"if you continu with this you well break you're mind." the fluoresent crows cawudeled in lustful desier as they pluked the maggots from there inermost sacral areas to fed rose.

~Stop no this is bad

"i must fight for john and our baby and for HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION!" rose molested the

~I almost forgot they were still in high school. Yeah, good luck with that child

"Very Well" Nepeta "I will make arrangments."

Rose slept uneasy that night.

that's da end of chupter 8! plz review wat wil nepeta plan wats goin 2 hapen 2 tarvos now karkat again revoo n find out!

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 7

Homestuck high Chapter 7: On the mountain, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

my frend told me 2 try ritin in da pov off sumone so i will try 2 do that this chapter ok so plz tell me if it ok.

~I'm getting flashbacks to Mindfang's journals

JOHN POV

i relly didnt no what to do about it all it realy seemed to much. I was in love with rose but somthing didnot feel rite about it.

~Maybe the fact that she's pregnant with a demon baby

it seemd as tho she was ledding meonto sumthing that i felt unsuely aboot.

~Gonna ride my polar bear over to the igloo so I can get my syrup poutine and bacon, but first I gotta grab my toque, how aboot you eh?

I fell as thought i should protect her but it was all to much and i was scarred.

~HARRY POTTER

i didnt no if i wanted to do this.

"My boy" tarvos cooed as we waked up the mountain

~Wait what

"yu can do this becaus you are a worrior and u strive for it!"

"i feel liek my luck has gone with the wind tho" i repelled "do i rely love rose?

~You better because if you don't then HOOOO BOY. You're gonna have a hard time raising that child

Or is their someone else?"

"maybe i can help you decade in time jonathan"

~It's just John

tarvos wiggled his eyebros.

~Put those back down

I begun too fell hot at that.

~Oh no

Tarvos was attractive nd i had a crush on karkit when he was their but i wasnt homo.

~John no stop this train of thought now I command you

I loved rose and i needed too procreate her babys from Sollux sence she was a woman so she couldnt do it.

~TRIGGERED

i had to be a man and standup for her.

I new rose all ways had a thing four jade to.

~I actually read a theory on r/homestuck about how Rose and Jade might not actually get along that well. It was pretty interesting

the way they looked at one anoter was filed with hot firy passione and i new they wanted one another.

~John no

It was kinda hot tho sence they were two girls and it turns me on.

~WE ARE NOT REPEATING CHAPTER 3

suddenly there was a hand on my figh.

~NO

I mooned and saw it was Tarvos who were grinin at me.

~NO NO NO

My face was red and i lucked awaay but Gamzee caught it.

~Wait what. When did Gamzee get here?

his eye fishes in my and there were no where to look.

~Oh no. I heard about this part on TV Tropes and I think I know what's going on

I was surronded.

~RUN, JOHNNY BOY

"we no u want ouer harddics in your harddrive johnny..." tarvos giggled

~TAVROS STOP

I moaned.

~STOP

"we wont tell rose it okay" gamzee seed when cumming over "my wand can make miracles."

~MoThEr FuCkInG mIrAcLeS

they were rite.i wanted it. i wanted themm. this is who i am.

~

"Ok...do it..." i said and pulled down my pants.

~S T O P

Gamzee came over and groped my warhammer of zillyhoo

~OH MY FUCKING GOD NO

and tavros wet my crater with his hot tendancies.

~NO NO NO NO FUCK YOU FUCK THIS STORY FUCK LITERALLY THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN FANDOM NO STOP IT NOW

i got hard and begun to moon and tarvos stuck his bull into my flower and then gamzee did the sam.

~*SCREECHING*

it felt rely good to hav both of them in me an makin my bucket bigger.

~FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU

~OH GOD I THINK THAT JUST MADE IT WORSE

"ooh gamzee! tarvos! pull it in more! ooooh yeaaaah" i yodeled as i roded them on the mountain.

~NO STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD NO

then i came and then they both came in me and they spill theyre pollen in side my flower.

~DEAR GOD STOP NOW

But then somthing extrinordinry happened. tarvos stood up and his eyes widen like sausepens.

"I remembur now...I AM KARKAT!" karkat came.

~I'm not sure if this is the usual weird exclamation or if he actually just came

"omg" me and gamzee said

karkats back now! WHTT WILL HAPPN IDK LOL I DO BUT U DNT REVEW PLZ OK HE PLOTZ GETTIN HARDUR!

~Dear god what the fuck did I just read

~Where was my adult content warning

~"it was all to much and i was scarred"

~Let's hope nothing like this ever happens again

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 6

Homestuck high Chapter 6: Sollux, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

GUYUS STFU OKAI STUP BEIN MEEN! dis story is good u havnt seen wat is planed!

~Nor do I want to

an i m sorry i havn updtated as muc school SUXXXXXXX!

"hav you named them yet" john assed jade

~Assed

"i will call the daemon equius" jade complicaed

~Lil baby Equius

~Hold on, why isn't he a grub?

"daves girl will be caled terezi

~RIP Dave x Terezi

and tarovs son jake!"

~Jake is Jade's father, so if Jade's son is Jake, that would make Jake his own grandfather, and Jade her own grandmother. *confused noises*

"my son..." tarvos masurcated "is beautfil"

~beautfil

Suddenly white smok came in to and their was Sollex with a moses bucket

~What the hell is a Moses bucket?

~Alright, I looked it up, and I think they meant Moses basket, because that makes more sense

with a grin on his face. Everyone gaped and jade lunged for equius.

"NO! YOU CANOT HAVE HIM!" SHE CRED.

"foolish mortel! he will becom the next daemon lord of the derse!

~That's... Not... ???

u can not stop my planes..."

~I can with a World Trade Center

~I'm sorry

Sollux potted

Gamzee stod up.

"no u daemon equius will rule prospit do you not COMPREHEND" he condemed

~This entire sentence

"YOU DO NOT KNOW ME" sollux welped.

~I mean, he kind of does

"THESE PLAINS ARE NOT YORUS TO CONQUER" GAmzee reunited

Tarvos stood up, "No. he must go with the daemon becuse it has ben ritten"

~You have amnesia and haven't read a single text yet

John shook his hed "but then he will try too sex rose!" he coaxed

~Coax is not the right word for this situation

Sollux grined "rose will becum my bird and we will make love every nite."

~No thank u

"NO" john moaned and pulled out Demontroll. He put on his hornes and he transformation into Eridan.

Everyone gasped.

~You saw Eridan before why are you surprised

"John you look different..." Rose peculiured

~No shit

"Sollux. My enemey. Youmust defet me to progess in yor quest"

Sollux smirkes and takes roses rist. she yellped and then Sollux diisapparated and let a bloody note saying 'daddys cuming

~Unfortunate typos

for you equius'. Jade began to cry.

"how do we getto desre" eridan growled

~Shouldn't you know this?

"Katkat was from there but he no longer is" Gamzee thought

~But Karkat was a Prospit dreamer, not a Derse dreamer

"jade you need to hide yo kids." eridan said sereusly.

~Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

"ok" jade repled

"Gamzee, tarvos and feferi cum

~Again

with me we need to see a gene named aradia

~Aradia's a ghost, not a genie

who will tell us how to get there"

"ok" they all said

SO WIL ARADIA HELP THEM?

~Aradia and Sollux are in a relationship so probably not

WAT IS GUNNA HAPPN TEEHEEE!

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High Update

So I noticed chapter 10 was called whateverthefuck, so I decided to see what it was. Turns out the whole thing was a trollfic (thank God). I somehow feel a mix of disappointment, relief, and inspiration. I’m gonna keep reading because why the fuck not, so don’t worry about that, I just figured I’d let y’all know.

#Homestuck High

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 5

Homestuck high Chapter 5: Birth of the triplets!, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~I haven't even read the chapter but I know this is going to be bad

i am SOOOOOO SOORRY i doesnt update earlier i started scool again a few weeks ago and i was concantating RELY HARD ON MY WORK. i evenn showed my plans for this story 2 my english teacher

~What did she ever do to you

who was gravely impressed by my origiginality.

~Pretty sure that's not what gravely means

~"Gravely is defined as something done seriously or somberly, or something that is very serious and bad. If you have been stabbed in the heart and may die, this is an example of a time when you are gravely injured."

~Nevermind, that's the correct word to use

i wnt 2 tank everyone for supporting this story!

~Where's my tank?

just waint until u see what happens next heehee

It has been two weeks sence diabolo

~You mean evil!Sollux?

impgrenated Jade with his seed and she was in the hospitil going to give birth sence deamon babys grow quick and stuff like in twilight.

~This story is a combination of Homestuck, My Immortal, and Twilight

~Also, the baby wasn't a demon, it was half human half vampire

She was in a lot of pain and everyone was here to cheer her on sence she was scaerd of theoutcome because demoan babys are hurtful.

~Aren't all babies demons though?

Dave was ver upset be cause it was his girlfrend and he didnt like that she was wit child with another man and a deamon nontheless. John new that rose cold be next if he was not carefull and had not ben sleeping for to weeks

~Two weeks is fourteen days

~"Randy Gardner (born c. 1947) is the holder of the scientifically documented record for the longest a human has intentionally gone without sleep not using stimulants of any kind. In 1964, Gardner , a high school student in San Diego, California, stayed awake for 264.4 hours (11 days 24 minutes)."

~Someone here is lying

because rose could be next.

"she is in pain" the nurse moaned sadly

~*sad moans*

"what about the baby" dave demadnded

~Demadnded

"you mean babies"

~Oh hell

the nurse corrected "she is having triplets but they are not of natral causes!"

~Are you going to elaborate on that?

Everyone looked sadly at each other. Jade might not survie and the babys might take over her body.

~Silly, babies can't ruin your life until AFTER they're born

A doctor appeared.

"she has given birth to the childs!" he announced

~To the childs

"they are burtn with fires of hell but the others cannot tell of the things that they will face of a lonly mothers grace" Tarvos prophisied

~John, I need one of your underwhelming reactions

"THEY ARE MY SONS! NO DAM B STARD WILL CLAM THEM AS THERE OWN!" Dave ejaculats

~Suddenly, a giant dam with a letter B on the starboard side traps the babies in a giant clam while Dave ejaculates

Rose took Johns hand "I feel uneasy" she quoted "soemthing is amist"

"i can feel it to" John reconziled and he kissed Rose passiontly.

~John, not now

Everyone went to see Jade and her babies there were two boys and a girl. one boy had grayish skin an wellow eyes like a demon

~They're fucking trolls

and then the girl had daves blond hair but then the other boy...LOOKED LIKE TARVOS!

~There can only be one TRUE Tarvos

"omg" everyone said

~John's Underwhelming Reactions (TM) are beginning to catch on

"they all have different fathers" the nurse said widely "please take a shit and we will explain the circumsize."

~I was gonna comment on how triplets having different fathers is literally impossible, but then I read the rest of the sentence and just, what?

Dave couldnt sit down he was too angry. one of his childs were a damon and the other lookedlike his best frend! he also did not have a air for his family name! his true cchild was a girl...

~You could just have a second child later. Maybe when you're actually married and not just a bunch of adolescent teens?

"HOW COULD YOU TAVOS!" dave cried as tears welled in his eyes "she is my wife to be!"

"it was an accidant it happened in mcdonnald" Tarvos solmnly said.

~How did she give birth to a child less than a month after it was conceived? I can understand with the whole twilight demon logic, but not a troll

~Hold on, how the fuck did they even have a child together? Humans and trolls have completely different reproductive systems!

"we did not mean it Dave!" jade weeped

"You stole my son...now i shall make you pay!" dave exclamed and left

~He didn't steal your son. It's technically his child, you had no part in his conception. Sure, Jade cheated on you, but it was never your child

Jade cried as rosepatted her back and the babys slept. Jade was worred dave might turn to the dark side and she did not want to date a daemon!

~You're worried about Dave becoming evil as someone who literally went grimdark pats your back

"John" rose said suddenly "we need to make plans."

DUN DUN DUUUUN! A CLIFFIE!

~How is that a cliffhanger

also 2 the ppl sayin im a troll IM NOT STP SAYING THAT!

~I honestly wish this was all just a joke

mi frends say itzs not about spellin byt the stry that matters

~And you have neither

so i dnt need to rite amazilg like the twilight author does to please u! for those suporting mi storey U GAIZ R AWSOME!

~Why does her spelling become infinitely worse when she makes author's notes?

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 4

Homestuck high Chapter 4: The duel, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

to the people asking if im a troll no i am not i wuld rly like 2 bee one tho since the homestuck ones are cool!

~My worst fear is confirmed

idk why id own a dildo to stick up an ass lol im not old enough 2 own one.

~A. I love how you took their comment as a serious request

~B. If you're not old enough then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WRITING EROTIC FICTION!?

to the nice ppl who left nice reviews i wnt 2 say thank u because they made me smile hehe.

~It must take some serious willpower to write a nice review on this story

nefotion gave me a REALLY god idea 2 add in wizards 2 the story so i might do that.

~You already got one though

~for the last god damn time, hagrid, im not a fuckin wwizard

im rely glad u like the character developement but whaat is my immortal? do you mean like the song by evenescense?

~I actually read My Immortal earlier today and DEAR LORD. I'm not even part of the Harry Potter fandom but it was just so awful

Just when all hope was thought to be lost Eridan took out of his deadly weapon knwon as the almighty Demontroll and began to rock out on it so the noise would distract Sollux wich it did and he let go of Jade and she came running over to them.

~But Eridan's Strife Specibus is Riflekind though

"Thank you sooooooooooo much John" she exclaimed

"My name is Eridan, John is no longer part of this body but exists now within hells wreched flames!" Eridan spoke

"Oh ok" Jade said

~#Jadebestfriend

and walked over to Dave

"So..." Sollux begins as he took out his own instrement, the dark and almighty Red

~And blue

tooth which was an old wooden violin

~If Sollux played an instrument it would probably be a double-neck guitar

and began to fight back against Eridan "You are challenging me to a duel"

"You will not win it" Eridan ejaculates

~That's the second time someone ejaculated from talking

as he plucks the guitar harder "you will not win over my wrath and you will no take these chicks back to your castle within the dark clouds to create the next evil dark overloard!"

~Can I just take a moment to ask why Sollux is evil

"Then if i lose the battle you must hand over to me Rose and Jade so I may plant the dark spawn within them to create the ultimite POWER" Sollux suggested

~Wait, that happens if he LOSES? Wouldn't he WANT to lose then?

Both demons began to rock out on their instruments and a clash of white and black aroma smashed together within the space between them as they batteld it out. they began to sweat. it was a tough duel but Eridan did a triple eighty and knocked Sollux back flying.

~How does playing an instrument knock someone back?

"WELL DONE ERIDAN!" everyone on Eridans side cheered.

~Is there anyone besides Sollux not on his side?

"Whatevs" Eridan said, putting his guitar into his pocket

~It's bigger on the inside

~Unrelated, but I can't wait for series 10 of Doctor Who. I used to be a massive Whovian, but now it's been over a year since series 9 ended, and I really want to reignite that flame. Anyways, back to the story

Sollux walked away in defeat but hed be backk they all knew it.

Eridan took off his horns and John returned.

"What happenend" John ingerigated

~Ingerigated

"you turned into a super awesome demon

~They're called trolls

called Eridan and you battled that Sollux guy to protect me and Jade" Rose bubbled.

~Rose bubbled

"Oh ok" John said

~What is it with John and having the most underwhelming reactions?

"Lets go to class" Gamzee cornered

~Is the author just using random words they don't know the meaning of to try and sound smart?

"I smell a war coming..."

~That's Terezi's job

~Actually, where is Terezi? Or Nepeta? Or literally any of the other trolls?

Tarvos wanred "I do not like this. Be careful John mboy"

The next day Rose came over to John bubbling with news

"John guess what" she said

"what" John said

"Were going to have a baby" she cried

~I know I already used this image 3 times but

"Thats great" John said

~Not even an exclamation mark. Fucking cold

~Also, teen pregnancy is far from great

and he hugged her tightly. he always wanted to be a

"Whats going on" Dave inquisited

~Dave somehow managed to interrupt the narrator

"Rose is going to have a baby" John said proudly

Dave smiled "But wait what about Sollux and the dark spawm"

~He said this while smiling

"Dont worry about that right now we must celebrate" Rose manifactured.

~Manifactured

"Ok" Dave said

next chapter there will be a baby shower and a realy big surprise but is it a good or bad one review to find out

~Probably awful, but I'm not sure if it'll be worse than *shudder* chapter 3

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 3

Homestuck high Chapter 3: Dark magick and a lemon, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

this chapter contains ADULT CONTENT between john and rose!

~The author is either a child or a master of irony. I can't really tell

if u do not like it plz skip over it. im really enjoying riting this story but ill upload more 2morrow this is the last update for now I WANT REVIEWS

John and Rose were in a field holding hands and kissing.

~Check out this ADULT CONTENT YO!!!!!111!!

They were alone and the sun was high in the sky. Rose was in a long white dress and a sun hat and John was chasing her through corn and sunflowers.

~But weren't they holding hands? You can't hold hands with someone and be chasing them at the same time

He felt happy. She spun around and her silken gown brushed against the corn as she ran backwards in slow motion.

~How is that possible in real life

John went to grab her, but she moved out of the way and he stumbled over a giant cliff and fell into darkness.

~Woah what the hell. If the bottom is dark, that means it's a ravine, otherwise the sun would light it up. Why is there a giant ravine in a cornfield?

"John" a voice boomed as he hit the floor "I am the dark genie of precipice Araida!"

~Wat

Thunder boomed.

"You are yur frends are in GRAEVE DANGER" she said

~GRAEVE DANGER

"What do you mean!" John said he didnt want any harm to come to Rose so he was worried since they handnt had sex yet.

~Why is THIS your incentive to protect her?

"JADE IS PREGNANT WITH THE SON OF A DEVIL"

~Hey! Just because Dave has red eyes doesn't make him the Devil!

Aradia bombed

~Aradia bombed

as more thunder struck loudly "And Rose is NEXT"

"O M G" John giggled

~That is not the right reaction buddy

"you must destroy the dammed

~Dammed

incubes on a nigth when the moon is full and spill his blod onto Jade and make her drink it so it kills the baba!" Ariada proclaimed

~What the shit

"But WHO IS THE INUCUBS!" John demolished

~Why does the author always use really weird exclamation words?

as he clentched his fists.

Aradia glowed "You must find out for yourself john! UNLASH THE POWER FROM WITHIN AND DO NOT LET THE DEMON TANT YOUR ROSE OR SHE WILL WILT"

She handed him two plastic horns

~If they're Kanaya's horns and he uses them to flirt with Rose I will die happy

"When you put these on you will turn into my faithful demon sslayer ERIDAN"

~DAMMIT

she magistrated "He will serve you well"

"Ok" John said and he woke up

~IT WAS ALL A DREAM

"Oh your ok" Rose said and she hugged John

"What happened" John elaborated

~That's not what elaborate means

as Dave hugged him next.

Dave raged

~Every time the author uses a weird word to describe how someone says something an angel loses it's wings

"Dark magick came out of your mcdonnaldss burger and FOUND ITS WAY TO YOUR SOUL"

~What the hell

"How!" John demanded

~Through the power of TRANS FATS!!!

"we do not yet know" Tarvos clemenced "We think that by eating it it distrupted the forces within your purities"

~Or that

"oh my gog" John said seriously

~How do you say "oh my gog" seriously?

The next day at school the group sat in a dark corner away from everoyne else as hey tried to think what happened to Jonn. But John knew that deep down there was an demon after Rose's ovaries.

~That is one of the weirdest sentences I have ever read

He couldnt bare the thought of his love falling to such a trap.

"Maybe it was just food poisoning" Feferi helped

"No my legs began to shake with a need i have long forgotten when i saw the black aroma!" Tarvos said

~Wat

"Where are Jade?" Rose asked

Dave began to cry into Tarvos shoulder. John had a feeling in his gut that this was not a god sign.

~Quite the opposite, a demon sign

"She cheated on me with a college guy" he moaned into Tarvos. he was so upset.

~I only just realized that this entire setting of the trolls being on Earth and no one finding it at all weird makes no fucking sense

"OMG Dave" Vriska purred as she pulled his face into her boobs. Dave cried into them instead.

~What the fuck

"John we need to talk" Rose announced

"Ok" John said

They got up and went to a private part of the school where no one could see or hear them. John had a feeling that he would be getting lucky as some people call it but he knew he had to be carful. He couldnt risk getting his rose pregnant or the conseqences would be FATALITY.

"John" Rose moaned "Will u be my boyfriend?"

~Wait, you weren't already? Even after Out-of-character!Rose tried to have sex with you?

"Ok" John said

~Not "of course" or "I'd love to" or "absolutely", just "ok"

"So you will have sex with me then since thats what people do when they go out" Rose said

~That's quite a leap from "hey let's get to know each other better" to "hey let's fuck" but what do I know

John could not resist those gigantic bosoms in that tight school top were begging him to rip it off right here and plant his seed DEEP inside of her. but he had to control himself or things would get bad.

~This entire paragraph. Just. What. The. Fuck.

"I do not know Rose" John manifested "Maybe we should wait!"

"I AM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU JON. I WANT YOU TO PUT IT IN ME NOW."

~Rose, stop, this is sexual harassment

Rose did not need to say more. John teared open the girls school shirt and her boobies came springing out in a wave of bouncyness. They were like those bouncy balls, only they were softer. He ripped off her skirt and looked at her panties. there was water already dripping from her patnies and her thighs were wet.

~Oh dear god, it's getting worse

He took off his trousers and then ripped her panties into too feeling how wet they were between his hands. More water began leaking out of her flower while she moaned. She took off her bra and then pulled out Johns hard member and pressed it to her sacred area.

~Why do I do this to myself

"Put it in me Johnny!" she cried loudly.

~ROSE. STOP IT NOW

"Ok"

~Wow, John, you sure have a way with words!

John said and he put his shaft into her tight hole. It was hot and wet inside. She began orgasming and making sexual animal like noises.

~I did not expect this kind of thing to be in this story. This puts The Star Within's weird, overly-sexual make out scenes to shame

"Oh oh oh! Oh John! Pull it in a little deeper! Ooooooh yeah!" Rose exclamated.

~I can see why GeekToSpeak never made a part 3 to their reading

She clawed his back like a tigeress in heat and John contiued to deflower his sweet rose. He already felt close to consumating their love with his seed.

~John stop it now this is going to end badly

He could feel the water flowing out of her and onto the floor beneath them. It made him want to drink it all up and feed it to her.

~I have no words

he could not control himsellf any longer and they came together in one giiant orgasm.

~Does this mean it's over?

"JOOOOOOOOHN!" she moaned as he came deep within her carven, her flower oozing with the white liquid as he pulled out of her.

~This entire segment is fucked up on so many levels

"NO! John! Rose!" Jade's loud cry mewled.

~JADE, GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

They turned their sweaty heads

~I imagine some creepy scene of them with unchanging smiles slowly turning to her in sync

to see Jade struggling in the grasp of a man who looked more evil than ANY other man they had seen.

~I mean, you fought Lord Emglish, so I doubt that

His aura admitted a dark energy that made the clouds come together and boom lightening.

~That's not how science

"NOW THAT ROSE HAS BEEN GIVEN THE SEED I CAN PLANT MY SPAWN!" the evil man yelled

~Creep

"Sollux, it hath been a while!"

~That's some Caliborn-level shitty twist

Tarvos trembled as he, Feferi, Dave, Vriska and Gamzee all came running up to the area.

"John, use the power of my demon slayer to help Jade!" John heard aradia's voice call.

He reached into his pockets and pulled out the plastic horns and stuck them into his head. He felt himself morphing into a different being until he was no longer John but a purple capped man with thick rimmed glasses.

~the names ampora

~eridan ampora

~FUCK that sounded stupid, nevvermind

"Sollux" John's now deep Eridan voice boomed "It's time to duel.

john has transformed into eridan and sollux wants to plant his spawn! who will win! plz review and then u will find out!

~Was this story written by Karkat? Because it's CANCEROUS

~*badum, tchhhhhhhh*

~I’m not sure if I should tag this NSFW or not

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 2

Homestuck high Chapter 2: Karkats incident and Jades secret, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

hi guys this is chapter 2. i finished chapter 1 a while back b4 my other beta reder got busy wit school since she didnt start then so now my otherfriend said shed beta it insted. ITS A LOT BETTER NOW THNK U SO MUUUUUCH CAROLYN UR A BETTER EDITER THAN JANE.

~Why do I have a feeling it's gonna be worse

Everyone went to teh hospitl

~Knew it

to see Karkat. He was in a comma. Everyone was crying, even Dave was crying a little bit because he and Karkat were best frends. They did lots of things togther (AN: no gay stuff tho! thats gross!)

~RIP Davekat

and so he was upset Karkat would try and do this to himself.

~Is the author going to explain why Karkat decided "OH SHIT LET'S COMMIT SUICIDE FOR SEEMINGLY NO REASON THAT'S A GOOD IDEA YEP 10/10"

"Is he gonna be allright" John inquisisted the doctor

~Inquisisted

"If it wasnt for you kids he wouldnt be" the doctor said

~A: What did they do to help him?

~B: The author just admitted that the kids are in fact still children despite the fact that none of them seem to be virgins

"So he is going to be okay?" Dave weeped

"He will suffer amnesiea and may never walk again" the doctor solemnly said.

~Hold on, amnesia is caused by brain damage, but paralysis is caused by damage to the spine. What did Karkat do to damage both his brain AND spine?

"NO!" Dave escalated loudly

~Escalated loudly

John and Rose were waiting outside. Rose was very upset. She dated Karkat when she was younger and she lost her virginity to him.

~A: Rose is a lesbian

~B: How the fuck did Karkat date her when she was younger? They were in different universes!

He was her first love and she never really gog

~Gog

over him.

"I cant believe he would do this hes so emo" Rose moaned

~Why is everyone either goth or emo

"I am sorry!" John proclaimed

~What does John have to do with this?

"John" Rose said seductivley "Can u take my mind off it"

~Rose no stop it

John gulped. He knew what Rose wanted but he wasnt sure if he was ready for it yet. Rose was a sex goddess

~And a minor

and he was a geek who never got less than 100 perfect in any lessons. But he had no scores in the sex department.

~So he got 0% in Sex-Ed? But he never got less than 100% in any lessons? YOU CAN'T FOOL ME, I SEE THROUGH YOUR LIES

"Rose" John pronounced "I do not think now is the right time!"

"U want to wait?" Rose raised her eyebbrow

"I want are first time to be specil" John announced

~Specil

"Ok" Rose said moodily.

Five days later Karkat woke up from his coma and everyone came to pick him up. Dave was very happy his friend was awake and brought along cheetos and pepsi to celebrate.

~i specifically requested apple juice rose wheres my fucking aj

The girls had been to thhe beach and so they were in their bikinis.

~Stop

Rose was wearing a lethar tight string thang bikini which showed of her private areas

~I said stop it now

while Jade wore a black lacey one with a 'D' over her left boob becase she loved Dave.

~S T O P

"He is suffering with severe head tramaur" the doctor said shakily "he does not remember his name!"

~I want an enter name screen. How about "cancerous fuckwad" *badum tshhh*

Everyone gasped.

"No! Karkat!" Dave discharged

"Who is Karkat my name is Tarvos" Karkat said questioninly

~Orange is the new Grey

"He can no longer walk either he must go in a wheelchair" said doctor We do not know if he will recover

~Dear lord he's really becoming Tavros

"How could this happen" Gamzee shot "All he want was to be normal"

They all left the hospital and Karkat was rolling himself happily while everyone was crying they had lost one of their best freinds and school would no longer be the same how were they supposed to hang around with him now he was in awheelchar.

~Forget his amnesia and probable brain damage, him being in a wheelchair is the most important issue!

To lighten the mood they decided to go to mcdonnalds and so they all went there and ordered burgers and chips and chicken nuggest for everyone to eat except for vriska who ate the napkins instead.

~But why though

"Golly I REALLY like these chicken nuggets" Karkat happily said

~Priorities

"Karkat..." Dave began "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM."

"My name is Tarvos! Not Karkat!" Karkat exclamated. He smashed the chicken nugget down on the table and squished it like a bug as he looked at the floor. He was ANGRY.

~Calm down

Gamzee sighed "I guess we shall call him Tarvos"

"YAY" Karkat, now Tarvos sang explendidly.

~Why is he so persistent in his belief that he's Tavros? Or sorry, "Tarvos". If I got serious brain damage, was told I had amnesia, and people kept telling me my name was Joe or something, I would probably believe them

"These napkins taste like piss" Vriska snooted as she gobbled one up.

~Why are you eating the napkins then?

"I used that one to wipe myself after I peed..." Jade whimpered.

~A. What the fuck

~B. And you put it back!?

"Ok" Vriska said, munching away.

~What the hell Vriska why are you ok with this

"When did you go to pee" Rose asked curiously

~Wait, if Rose doesn't remember Jade going to the bathroom, that means she did it at the table. What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Jade looked down at the floor while fiddling with his black lace panties "When you all weren't looking...I..I needed to take a pregnancy test."

"WHAT!" everyone but Feferi exclaimed because she was too cool

~feferi give me my fucking shades back

"Dave..." Jade began "I AM PREGNANT!

~

~I already used this image in the last story but I don't care

gasp! Jade is PG!

~That's not what PG stands for

what will happn now! will karkat get better? REVIEW

~This story's pacing is so weird. I'm 99% sure they were just coming up with plot points as they wrote, which would explain Karkat's shit suddenly doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle into the embrace of a failed suicide attempt causing shit to get into an unstable relationship with the fan leading to several years of relationship counselling and dear god what am I even writing

~Anyways, from this point onwards, I have no idea what's going to happen in the story, so wish me luck as I burrow fuck deep into the hellhole that is this fanfiction

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

I already have posts queued as far as Thursday so I could literally drop off the face of the planet for 5 days and the blog would continue to have daily updates.

Alright that sounded a lot more impressive in my head.

#Blog Post

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

Homestuck High - Chapter 1

Homestuck high Chapter 1: The spring fling, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~I found this one from a video someone made of the first two chapters, you can find the first one here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0ce9Zk_sL8

hi guys this is my first fanfic i RLY hope u all enjoy it im riting it on notpad but mi frend beta red it 4 me! HEHE HOMESTUCK FOREVER!

~Oh God, the typos

The spring fling was next week and John didn't have a date. He realy liked Rose however. He had liked her sence second grade when she bit his arm and broke his glasses and made him cry.

~What the fuck

~Ok, ignoring the fact that John apparently has some Equius level masochism, John and Rose live very far apart

He took his books out of his locker and seen Rose walking towards him. He got REALY nervous and began to sweat.

~The Equius parallels don't stop

"Hi rose" he said blankly

"What do you want loser" she replied coldly

~10/10 Rose portrayal, definitely not inaccurate at all

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the dance with me?" John said

"Ok" Rose said "But if someone hotter than you asks me then im gonna go with them"

~Rude

"Thats ok" John said

~John no she doesn't care about you

Just then the schools goth kid Gamzee came up to talk to them.

~#GothGamz

"Hey rose" Gamzee seed "I like totally love your hair, wed look amazing together at the spring flarp next week. YoU should go with me."

~The spring flarp

"I just asked her you goth freak" John proclamed loudly!

~John don't say that about Gamzee

~Actually never mind, fuck Gamzee

"Well your no god for rose.

~Your no god

Rose is a beauty like no other rose could compare. I deserve to go with her more than yu do!"

"OMG u guys" Rose describbed

~Describbed

looking from John to Hamzee

~HONK HON, HAMZEE COMIN' THROUGH

~I just misspelled honk as hon and now I'm imagining Gamzee in one of those stereotypical French hats holding a baguette going HON HON HON HON HON HON HON HON HON

"Why don't u both take me to the spring fling next week? We could be a threesome"

~What

"Ok" John and Gamzee agreed in unicons.

~In unicorns

On the weekend Rose went shopping with Jade and Ferrari

~Ferrari

to pick a dress. They got ready together at jades house. Rose was wearing a mini length lether tight dress which came up to her knees like one of those pencil skrits and it hugged her small frame tightly. It had no straps and it was held up by her boobies.

~Rose why do you do this

It was bright green and it showed of her clevers.

~Clevers

She bought knee high leather black boots that had riddles in them and were for inches high off the ground with a pointy toe.

~Rose stop

She wore her hair up in a kinda messy bun with her bangs just bellow her eyebros. She was wearing thick black eyeliner and bright red lipstick.

~S T O P

She was also wearing a fake tan.

~This would look really weird considering all of the humans are whiter than patriarchy

"OMG u look so hot rose I would totally wanna sex you" Jade said as she smacked Rose's ass.

~What the fuck

"you look hot too Jade, I bet Dave will want to sex you to" Rose described

~Ran out of "Stop"s, please donate

"Do u think so?" she blushed "Im a virgin though"

~You're like 13 why wouldn't you be

"Don't worry he likes virgins" Ferrari said "Vriska told me"

~What the absolute shit

"OMG Vriskas slept with Dave!" Jade ejaculated

~That's a pretty intense reaction

"Yea, but he didn't like it because she wasn't a virgin" Ferrari conjured

~Why are you kids like this

"Oh ok" Jade countered

~How is "Oh ok" a counter argument

They all went to the party and everyone was there. Everyone danced with one another and the lights were flickering between all different colours. All the differnt clicks were dancing together and it was realy good. Dave ended up taking Jade early and Roze

~Reverse CaNWC

gave her a wink but Vriska was jealousy.

~She was very jealousy

She want Dave for herself and didnt like them together.

"Rose" John said seriously "I think im in love with you"

"OMG John" Rose declaration "I think im in lust with you too"

~In lust

"yay" they both said

"OMG you guys karkat just killed himself" Gamzee proclimbed

~Woah what the fuck this went from zero to 100 in like two seconds

hehe a cliffhanger i hop u enjoyed it plz review

~You feel like it’s going to be a long day

~Also GOD DAMN IT TUMBLR WHY IS IT SO EASY TO POST THINGS ON THE WRONG BLOG

#Homestuck High #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

What even is this

~I think this is a joke but I'm gonna read it anyways because it looks funny

John sighed as he looked out the window, “Oh no…!11!”

~...!11!

he said to himself while covering he face with his hands. John sees Vriska with a pregnant like stomach at his door.

~

Vriska is sitting at the fucking door.

~Not a regular door, a fucking door

Truth is she’s smuggling drugs.

~But why though

John walked downstairs, clutching his slightly bulging stomach

~What

to meet Vriska in the doorway… john. I’m pregnant. And smuggling drugs. Vriska says with a worried look on her face.

~Oh, is that all?

In which Vriska then rips off her shirt to reveal many weed taped to her body.

~Many weed

She remains with a nervous expression. John gasped and took a step back, but it was not because of Vriska’s surprise, it was because of- none other than his kismeisis Bec Noir flying towards them!

~That's... Not how kismeisistude works

~Also why is Bec here

Vriska gets worried and runs inside john’s house away from Bec noir. “Oh, I’m also pregnant with a weed/grub/baby hybrid, john.”

~I'm imagining a grub with human limbs and weed for fingers and I'm terrified

Bec Noir descends from the sky wearing a bedazzled speedo.

~"This is no way for a killer of your elite profile to dress. Your rise to omnipotence has had a regrettable influence on your vanity it seems. Have you forgotten the original grievance with frivolous attire that got you here?"

Upon landing he approaches John. John closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Bec noir…why are you here?”

~Probably to kill you. My question would be how

He asked confused, nervousness building up within him having not told Bec Noir the news of their child. “John, I hate you with a burning passion, But I also lo–” Bec Noir spots the shirt on the ground and sees Vriska behind john. “ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?!?!!?“

~This is 100% best Jack portrayal 10/10

Vriska lies on the couch seductively.

~Ok

Bec took a step forward, his wings lowering. "Woof…” He barked in a low grim tone. Vriska also isn’t wearing a bra.

~Why is the fandom like this

John pisses himself.

~Wuss

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b–b-b-b-b-bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-b-b-b-b-b-bb-b-b-b-b–b-b-b-bb————————————bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb-b-b–b-b-b-b-b-b-ec senpai…I’m mprego..”

~What the fuck

John whimpered stuttering slightly. Vriska correct john. “Actually, I’m pregnant with John’s Weed/Grub/Baby hybrid, deal with it, Bec.”

~

Bec Noir looks to the sky with a blank expression. “Dick game too strong.” “Actually were both prego. You hate fucked me, and then prob hate fucked Vriska, and then I fucked Vriska, and then you, and she fucked me, so really were ALLL pregomongenat.” Vriska says “omg wat”

~Same

john how dare u have fun with a different person. I will dump that ho into the streets, yo.“

~I have no idea who's talking right now

Just then, Dad flies down the stairs. "SON I AM DISSAPOINT.”

~#DadEgbertbestdad

“It’s too early for this shit woof.” Bec growled while grabbing (groping) john and flying away.

~Bec no

Omg. Vriska flies after them in god tier, grabs john’s pants lag, and “accidentally” pulls them down.

~Vriska stop

John pisses himself yet again.

~Wuss 2x combo

Bec bent down and bit Vriska’s hand,

~Rude

but it was too late, yet again another sword was impaled through his chest like a doggy shiscobab.

~But isn't there always a sword impaled through his chest?

omg. Vriska grabs john and flies back to his house, standing in a seductive position, showing off her body like and hourglass and a booty like two hams, regardless bein pregnant.

~VRISKA STOP IT NOW

Dad literally runs Vriska over, leaving a trail of frosting.

~I take it back, #DadEgbertworstdad

Bec remains a doggy shicoba, not dead, just, and confused.

~Me too

Just so, HIC descends from the sky,

~NO

wearing the most OP of weaponry, and— Jesus what the fuck happened to her hair.

~Same

Dad is consumed by the HIC’s hair.

~#DadEgbertmosteasilyconsumeddad

As is half of the home. Children are screaming from the depths of her hair.

~This is my new head canon for HIC's hair

As Dad is consumed, he is transformed into an anti-constipation pill with fishnet leggings.

~#DadEgbertbestanticonstipationpill

Seriously. HIC’s hair is consuming most of the town.

~This is why I like girls with short hair

Kanaya

~Where did you come from

swoops in from the sky and picks Vriska up. She is dressed like Eridan.

~Kanaya no

One of the people trapped in HIC’s hair began to flirt with Dad “Are you an anti-constipation pill, because I’d swallow you any day…” He whispered seductively.

~This is my go-to pickup line

The HIC tells her hair to BACK OFF and kisses Dad.

~What

Kanaya flies over HIC and drops Vriska down onto Dad.

~Rude

Dad flails violently; he has no fucking idea where his god damn son keeps disappearing off to.

~#DadEgbertprettyokdadIguess

Nepeta

~Where do these trolls keep coming from?

flies in and out like, “Thank mew Yarnaya.

~Yarnaya

In which then, a giant Karkat approaches.

~What is even happening in this story

Meanwhile, John is at Vriska’s hive,

~But how though

pestering Dave and looking through all of Vriska’s diaries.

~Wow invasion of privacy much

There is a lot of porn and personal stuff in it.

~Vriska why are you writing stuff like this

Vriska is already in her room, sitting in her slime seductively.

~Vriska enough is enough

Karkat looms over Vriska’s hive, reaching down to remove her roof.

~What

He then reaches down with one of his giant yaoi hands and picks John up.

~Why does everyone want John

[10:32:53 PM] Lord of Dong:

~Best name

The AOT theme begins to play as John screams in mortal terror.

~Same

Luckily, Bec Noir manages to get himself up and fly over to rescue him…even if it costs his own life…. ,v_v,

~RIP Jack

The colossal titan comes in and eats the giant Karkat.

~RIP Giant Karkat

Dirk

~Dirk why are you here

flies in moments later with his 3DMG.Suddenly, John let out a horrifying screech- HIS WATER HAD BROKE.

~How is that even possible

Snoop dog comes in and starts singing smoke weed every day.

~10/10 best cameo

Dirk looks at John and whispers. "The yaois.”

~Same

“DIRK I AM BOUT TO HAVING BABBY” John yells while removing his pants to reveal lacy velvet panties stained with white.

~What the hell

Meanwhile with HIC: “Bros before hos.” Dirk whispers, gently papping John’s head.

~Shoosh

John pushed and got babby joss all over Dirk.

~Ew

Then a babby pop out. The babbby is……………………………………. HORRUS.

~Wat

Meulin is currently on weed with Kurloz and runs him over with a random car that she stole from troll cops.

~Rude

*mmm whatcha say plays in the distance*

~Well that was... Something

#Miscellaneous fanfiction #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

The Star Within - Chapter 8

The star within Chapter 8, end of Stars, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~I'm finally on the last chapter, and it looks... surprisingly short? Whatever, less torture for me

Chapter 8, end of Stars

Lumina open her eyes to see a very big place with lots of glitter and sparkles and stuff.

~My worst nightmare

She looked around and could not find her computer anywhere but she heard the beep beeps!

~Beep beep, dontgiveafucktruck coming through

The place was very shiny and sparklery. It made her eyes hurt.

"oh no where aaam ii" she said to herself quiet.

She walked around a lot and saw a slamder!

~Slamder

the slamder went up to her and said "glub!"

"omg your like fefri" lumina said with a smile and suprise.

~End me

she picked up the slamder

~Ok, you've misspelled salamander as slamder enough times that I'm not sure if it's intentional or not

and named went "ok your name ii5 going to be…. uh ii dont know" (REVIEW WHAT U THINK THE SLAMDER'S NAME SHOULD BE !PLS! XDDD)

~Hey! Only Vincent Von Salamancer has authority to name consorts!

the slamder licked her face!

~I think this person actually thinks that's how salamander is spelled

"aaaw your 5o cute aaalmo5t like kaaarkaaat ii5" she then gasped

~WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME? I AM NOT "CUTE". I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A WASTE OF VOCABULARY THAT TROLLS DO NOT EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR IT.

"ii forgot aaabout kaaarkaaat" she started to tear up in her eyes and and gasped.

"5orry 5laaamder ii know to go fiind my computer aaand taaalk to kaaarkaaat"

~I still can't get over slamder

She put down the slamder and walked towards the big glitter mountain except the mountain wasn't made of glitter it was just very glittery and sparkled. She looked around lots and then eventually found her computer. She looked through Karkat's log in trollian. (thats the trolls pester chum right? XDD )

~You would know if you had read act 5

CG: LUMINA

CG: …

CG: LUMINA?

[galaticGlitter is now idle]

CG: …

CG: FUCK LUMINA!

CG: LUMINA

CG: LUMINA

CG: MAYBE IF I FUCKING SPAM HER SHE WILL COME BACK

~This actually isn't that out of character

CG: OR MAYBE SHE LOST HER SHITTY COMPUTER

CG: FUCK!

CG: OH FUCK OH FUCK

CG: LUMINA?

CG: PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARENT DEAD

~Please just assume she's dead and leave so your timeline will be doomed and we can go home

CG: F U CK !

CG: LUMINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

CG: FUCKITY FUCKITY SHITASS FUCKASS SHIT

CG: FUCK

CG: SHIT

CG: FUCK !

CG: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

CG LUMINA!

CG: LUMINA

CG: PLEASE COME BACK

CG: I DONT WANT YOU TO BE DEAD

CG: LUMINA

CG: PLEASE

CG: I LOVE YOU

~You met her like two days ago

GG: oh hey kaaarkaaat

CG: LUMINA!

CG: THANK JEGUS YOUR NOT FUCKING DEAD

CG: NOT LIKE I FUCKING CARE OR ANYTHING

~Maybe if you hadn’t outright said that you loved her she would believe you

GG: whaaatever ii know you do

CG: N-NO YOU BAKA!

~What the fuck does Baka mean

GG: whaaat does thaaat meaaan

~Exactly

CG: IDK JUST SOMETHING I HEARD TEREZI FUCKING SAY

GG: 5he5 craaazy

CG: YEAH YOUR RIGHT

~Whatever happened to you having mutually flushed feelings for each other?

GG: ok but do you know where ii aaam

CG: OH YEAH YOUR IN THE GAME WORLD LAND SHIT

GG: doe5 iit haaave aaa naaame

CG: YEAH I THINK YOUR WORLD IS CALLED THE LAND OF FUCKING GLITTER AND SPARKLES

~How do you know this? Also, that is a terrible land. A land is supposed to challenge the player on multiple levels, not give them a free ride on the luxury train

GG: oh no wonder there aaare 5o maaany gliitter5 aaand spaaarkle5

CG: FUCK I GOTTA HELP YOU RIGHT

GG: oh yeaaah

GG: lol bye lo5er brb

~Well that was a sudden shift in mood

[galaticGlitter has disconnetced]

Sudleny, the sky turned an nice pinkblueorangeyellowblackgreen-SPARKLEY olor!

~Also known as white

it was very beautiful, but only to bad guys, because it was an evil color! Lumina new this was badd news.

~Oh damn, actual plot

She went on her STAAARphone to contact her bf, but it was deadz!

~Wait, does she have another boyfriend? If it's Karkat, why wouldn't it just say his name?

She had no escape this time! she tried to find a place to hide, but the land she was in was a giant plane of nothingness. HOOO BOY….

~I thought it was land of glitter and sparkles

The only escape was to call on her luma, and ask him for help.

"LLLUUUUMAAAA GET OVER HIR YA LIL SHIT!" SHE SCREAMED

~Same

Luma fel from sky. "It is I" he said in an old man voice. he was vrry wise.

"OOH WI5E LUMAAA, WHAAAT THE FUCK DO II DO!?" SHe said very calmly.

~I'm not sure if this is intentionally bad or not, but it's funny nonetheless

"U are very powerful young lady. You must get god tier. Then you will be very very VERY powerful." he said while patting Lumina on the back with his star nub.

~Gross

'git ur fithy hands off the merchandise' She kinda whispered, kinda hissed. WOw rood. But he did not do a hearing of her, since he lacked the ears.

"ok bitch, im off" he said "later"

~I think the author gave up

She was left alone, very confused. oh boy, this would be tough. Lumina saw the sky started flashing, and evil 90's anime music began to play. A figure slowly floated dow, and crash into the floor.

It was the ulimate god of hyper death!

~I didn't know female Asriel would be in this story

She came from planet Drool! She descended from the color ful sky and landed in front of lumina.

"geeeeez whaaat aaare you doiing here" lumina said while sighing.

"I am here to eliminate you and your existence." replied the UGOHD.

~Rude

"whaaat aaa paaaiin" moaned Lumina. She was so not in the mood to deal with this demon.

~Are you ever in the mood to be eliminated?

The UGOHD punched her in the face! Lumina flewed a billion feet backwards like they do in anime when there is a joke or a baka.

~What the hell is a Baka?

She cried it was so much pain! She got up from her feet, renewed with determination.

~The Undertale reference a couple comments back fills you with DETERMINATION

She ran up to the UGOHD and then kicked She in the gut!

~Rude

ouch! the UGOHD flew upwards.

"Tch…!" She said. and flew back down to lumina. She looked her square in the eyes.

"so liike your naaame ii5 liike waaay to long so caaan ii caaall you aaa niicknaaame" lumina asked the UGOHD.

"Sure I guess. You can call me THE ULIMATE RANDOM RAWR DINOSAUR." said TURRD.

~The author has officially given up trying to be serious

~Thank God

"ii'll ju5t caaall you raaawr" lumina said cooly, because she is cool.

"That's fine to." said Rawr.

"so where were we aaagaaaiin" lumina asked Rawr. she then ran up to Rawr. she kicked Rawr in the rawr and went flying billions of feet away!

~I want to kick everyone in the rawr

"Tch…!" she said. they used their wings and flew back to Lumina. They looked at her with this big frown.

"Can you just please die already?" she asked politely.

~If it means this story will end along with my miserable existence, then yes

Manners are important. Lumina was sad.

"but why" she asked. Tears started leaking from her golden blue orbbies. Rawr looked a bit sad too.

"Your are super bad and I hate you and you need to die sorry." Rawr said and she looked away at the same time. she were upset. she pointed her pencil gun at Lumina. And then she pulled the trigger. It was sad and dramatic as lumina fell down to the ground. She tried rehealing with her Shine of Star god tier powers, but the hole was too big. She looked up at the sky.

~Do Lumina and Rawr have some kind of past connection or something? Why is Rawr sad?

"LUMINA!" someone yelled. Lumina looked over to the direction of the voice she heared. It was karkat! She smiled but very smally.

~What

~That is literally impossible

~How the hell did he get on her planet

"h-hey kaaarkaaat" said whispered barely, as her life disapeared. He was crying really hard.

"LUMINA, YOU FUCKING BAKA!" he was crying.

~Are we never going to learn what a Baka is?

~Ok, I’m adding this like a week later, but I spent enough time looking at homestuck anime posts to learn what baka means. Don’t worry

"I CANT BELIVE YOU DIED TO THIS… THIS FUCKING BITCH!" he cried even more.

~Wow, rude again

"iim sorry kaaarkaaat ii ju5t waaant you to remember thaaat ii loved you" lumina said while crying.

~Even though we met like a couple days ago

"NO! YOU LOVE ME NOT LOVED! YOU WILL LIVE!I WILL SAVE YOu!" he was screeching at lumina while tears flowed freely from his red looking spheres.

~Also known as eyes

Lumina died in his hands. Karkat sobbed angiely.

"I...I WILL AVENGE YOU LUMINA!" He screehed at Rawr. She looked at him and shurgged.

~Shurgged

"Sorry buddie, I gotta blast. More people to kill you know?" She flew off. Karkat screamed sadly.

karat

~Karat

looked down at his ded lover.

Lumima woke up.

"huh how ii waaa5 deaaad" she looked around after whispering to herself. It was a golden land.

"iim on pro5piiit" she questioned. she saw Sollux!

"5ollux" she exclaimed happily. She ran up to Sollux and gave him a big hug.

"huh? wa22up lumiina?" Sollux asked her. She was crying.

"ii diied" she cried. Sollux patted her back.

~Oh, that's all?

"dont worry lumiina, your really dead now." He said calmly.

~#Solluxworstfriend

"huh" Lumina questioned when she realized what he said. It was Rawr in Sollux cosplay!

~Oh damn

She stabbed her in the back where she were patting her! Lumina started bleeding a lot.

"aaack" she screamed. and cried. Rawr looked at her diviously and then flew away. She laid on the ground and bright golden blood surronded her. She looked sad. And then she died.

~I mean, she was going to die regardless

Afterwards, Karkat killed Rawr so Rawr could no longer kill anybody and also because she killed Lumina.

~Might I ask how he did this?

They later discovered that Rawr was Lord English!

~What

~That makes no sense

~WOW. AND I THOuGHT *I* WAS FuLL OF SHITTY TWISTS.

Lumina saved the game!

THE MOTHERMONKEY END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Thank the Lord

~Now that the story's over, I can confidently say that it was not worth it

~I mean, there were like two funny conversations and then that was it

~Anyways, it's 5:50 pm on Christmas Eve, so I'm gonna end it here

~I might do some more of these after the break, but until then, I will issue one last whatthefuckisthisshit

~Goodnight

#The Star Within #Bad Fanfiction

[badhomestuckfanfiction-blog]

The Star Within - Chapter 7

The star within Chapter 7, game of Stars, a homestuck fanfic | FanFiction

~Second-last chapter, thank God, but very long by the looks of it

Chapter 7, game of Stars

( A/N wow you guys are so nice! thanks for all of the reviews! Ok, so I guess I was wrong, and the wiki is based of the comic.

~THANK YOU

I guess that makes a little more sense. LOL Im SUCH a spaz! :PPPPP. I decided to read the comic again, so I would understand more about spurb

~Does this mean the story won't be pure cancer?

(also, its spurb, not spurp XDD).

~...

~...

~...

~...

~...

~It's fucking sburb

I read up to like, act two. It was SUPER boring, but I think I have enough knowlege, and will just use my existing knowlege for the rest of the fanfic.

~NONONONONONONONONO

~There is SO much you won't understand!

~You won't understand why the troll's session, or even the kid's session for that matter, went wrong! You won't understand the nature of the scratch! You won't understand how the trolls were born! You won't understand God Tiers! You won't even know what the purpose of sburb is! Read the comic before you write a fanfiction about it!

but again, like last time, there were lots of haters. I also read some of the updates and they were pretty boring. there was so much talking oh my god.

~It's called character development

and there needs to be more trolls!

~Again, the first mere MENTION of a troll isn't until late act 3!

At least the CLAY PEOPLE WERE GONE! but you guys really need to fix the hater problem i mean there were like lots of haters. But we're getting lots better! thx! XD~~ )

~I went into this story hoping it would be funny due to how bad it was. Now I'm just hoping it will end

" 彡 wow look at thii5 hou5e ・:.,;*"

~Hive

said lumina it was really big. She went upstaitrs to her room. it was also big. and gold and sparkly and pretty. She jumped onto her fluffy troll bed,

~Trolls don't have beds, they have recuprecoons, which are slimy, not fluffy

pulled up her computer, and alerted everyone to start the game, as she downloaded it. She then heard a ping on here computer. Karkat had added her to a memo!

[carcinoGeneticist made a new memo on "LETS FUCK THIS GAME BUT NOT IN THAT FUCKING WAY YOU FUCKING PERVS"]

~I can never be mad at Karkat

[carcinoGenetist joined the chat at 12:06 am]

[carcinoGenetis added galaticGlitter to the memo]

GG: 彡 heeeey kaaarkaaat ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 we haaav to 5taaart the gaaame ・:.,;*

CG: YEAH FUCKASS

GG: 彡 we haaave to aaaletr the other5 ・:.,;*

~Aaaletr

CG: HERE IM YOUR FUCKING SERVER PLAYER

GG: 彡 oh yaaay! ・:.,;*

CG: OKAY ILL ADD PEOPLE

GG: 彡 who5 miine? ・:.,;*

CG: YOUR THE SERVER PLAYER OF SOLLUX'S LAND

~But if she and Vriska are both on the red team, and Vriska's dead now, that would imply that Lumina takes her place in serving Tavros, right? Also, if Sollux is being served by Lumina, then who's Karkat serving? Karkat originally was serving Sollux, so does that mean Karkat will be serving Lumina?

GG: 彡 YAAAAAAAAY ・:.,;*

CG: (THAT LUCKY FUCKASS)

[gallowsCalibrator joined the memo]

GC: H3Y GUYS

GC: 1 L1K3 R3D

~100% accurate portrayal

GC: WH4T 4R3 TH3 T34MS C4RC4T?

CG: THERE IS GONNA BE A FUCKING BLUE TEAM AND FUCKING RED TEAM

GC: WH4T 4BOUT LM1N4?

GC: C4B 1 V=B3 ON YOUR T34M

~What even is that sentence

GC: 1 L1K3 R3D

GC: 1M BL1ND

~I noticed

CG: YEAH YOUR ON MY FUCKING TEAM

CG: REMEMBER WE HAD THAT WHOLE THING ABOUT BEING THE FUCKING LEADER AND STUFF

GC: NO

GC: Y3S

GC: 1DK

GC: JUST T3LL M3 TH3 T34MS

[apocalypseArisen joined the memo]

AA: guys im a r0b0t

~And a frog. Don't forget about the frog

CG: OKAY HERE I MADE A FUCKING PICTURE

CG: / 1E5FPEI

CG: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK

CG: THE FUCK IS A EBAY

CG: HERE I THINK I FUCKING GOT IT NOW

CG: 1E5FPEI

CG: ... WHAT THE ***FU C K SH IT ******

~I feel like this would be funnier if I got to see the image

GC: BUT WH4T 4RE THE T34AMS

CG: FUCK OFF IM WORKING ON IT

AA: what is this even

~Same, Aradia. Same

CG: OKAY SO THIS FUCKING SHIT ISNT GONNA FUCKING WORK

[apocalypseArisen left the memo]

[grimAuxiliatrix joined the memo]

GA: Hello Sirs And Mamas

~Sirs and mamas

CG: HELLO KANAYA

CG: FUCK OFF

GA: Ok

[grimAuxiliatrix left the memo]

~Rude

CG: OKAY I THINK I FUCKING GOT IT NOW

CG: HERE THIS IS THE SHIT

CG: 0WZOGG

GC: K4RK4T TH1S 1SNT WORK1NG

GC: 1M L34V1NG TH1S SH1T

CG: ALRIGHT FUCK OFF TEREZI

[gallowsCalibrator left the memo]

[twinArmageddons joined the memo]

TA: ?

TA: what2 google

CG: I DONT FUCKING KNOW

CG: FUCK /0WZOGG

~Are these supposed to be links or something

TA: al2o, fuck off kk

CG: ...

TA: ii am the computer ma2ter

CG: **********FUCK *******************************

TA: hold on, iill fiigure iit out

CG: OKAY AT LEAST *YOUR* FUCKING USEFULL

CG: UNLIKE ANYOF THESE FUCK NUTS

CG: THERE ALL FUCKING SHITASSES

TA: hehehehhehhehhhhehehehhehehehehehehehehtruehehehhe

~I'm lost, what's happening?

CG: ...HEY LUMINA

CG: WHERE THE FUCK IS LUMINA

TA: 2he2 playiing troll 2oliitare

~Of course she is

[arachnidsGrip joined the memo]

~Aren't you dead?

AG: Heeeeeeeey guuuuuuys

CG: FUCK

CG: GET THE FUCK AWAY

AG: m m

AG: Fuck you

AG: Ill stay if I want

AG: Im a part of this game to guuys

CG: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

CG: HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE

~See?

AG: Oh

AG: Well, I went god tier silly

~How? You haven't even entered the game yet, that's literally impossible

CG: WAIT THE FUCK

CG: YOU FCUKING DID

AG: Yeah

AG: My god tier 8ed is my house

~That's not how it fucking works

CG: WHAT THE FUCK

CG: OKAY

CG: IM NOT GONNA FUCKING ASK

AG: Wooooooow, your fucking lame.

AG: I'm leaving.

CG: YEAH FUCK OFF VRISKA

[arachnidsGrip left the chat]

~Thank you

TA: hey guy2

TA: ii fiigured iit out

CG: ANY WAYS *WHERE THE FUCK IS LUMINA*

CG: OH GOOD

CG: IM TRYING A NEW FUCKING LINK TOO

CG: IM USING THIS FUCKING THING CALLED FUCKING TROLL DEVIANT ART

CG: OKAY LET ME TRY ...

CG: 4ECC / F / 2015 / 122 / B / C / THE_FUCKING_GAME_PLAN_BY_KARKATTHEFUCKINGBEST-D8RX . PNG

CG: *******FUCK********************************************************

TA: here

TA: 4ecc / f / 2015 / 122 / b / c / the_fuckiing_game_plan_by_karkatthefuckiingbe2t-d8rxl7o . png

~I looked it up and found nothing

TA: FUCK

CG: SEE SOLLUX IT ISNT THAT FUCKING EASY

CG: ONE MORE SHITTING TRY

CG: 4ECC / F / 2015 / 122 / B / C / THE_FUCKING_GAME_PLAN_BY_KARKATTHEFUCKINGBEST-D8RXL7O . PNG

TA: OOP2

CG: F JU KC ICUCJUIOSDECVHHSWYNICFEHKYGU G NUYWF\

CG: ]\

TA: PAGE NOT FOUND

CG: ASSSFUCKINGSHITCRAPBRITCH

CG: OKAY ONE MORE FUCKING TRY WHAT CIUKD GOP FIUCKOIJNMJG MWROINJG

CG: ART / THE-FUCKING-GAME-PLAN-530646180

CG: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

TA: OOP2OOOP2OPPP2OO2P2O2O22P

TA: NOT FOOOOUUUUUUUUUUND

CG: HERE LET ME FUCKING SEND YOU A FUCKING LINK TO MY PAGE AND FIGURE IT OUT FROM THEIR FUCKASSES

CG:

~What just happened

[caligulasAquarium joined the memo]

CA: SHUT THE FUCK UP

CA: wwhat evven is this?

~I've been trying to figure it out too. I've got nothing

CG: YES FUCKSHITS SUCK MY BULGE I FUCKING DID IT

CG: FUCK MY BULGE SOLLUX

CG: WHOS THE FUCKING HACKING MASTER NOW HUH

CG: WHO IS IT NOW FUCKER

CG: ALSO ERIDAN FUCK OFF YOU SHITTY TROLL

~Don't talk shit about Eridan

CA: fine then you little shit

~NO DON’T GO

[caligulasAquarium left the memo]

~COD DAMMIT

CG: GOOD THING YOUR FUCKING GONE

~Are you happy now?

CG: OKAY SO THAT PICTURE YOU SEE IT

TA: waiit what are tho2e other piicture2 kk

CG: WAIT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING

CG: ...OH

CG: GET THE FUCK OFF MY DA AND LOOK AT THE GOGDAMN FUCKING TEAMS

TA: ehehehehehehehehehe

CG: OK SO FUCKING ANYWAYS

CG: ITS OUT WERE GONNA DO OUR TEAMS

CG: SO ON THE BLUE TEAM TA, CC, CA, AC, AA, CT, AND THEN IT GOES TO THE RED TEAM TO GA, AG, AT, TC, GC, ME, AND THEN LUMINA AND THEN BACK AGAIN

~So I was right about Karkat serving Lumina

CG: ITST HE HUGE FUCKING LOOP OF SHIT

CG: DOES EVERYONE FUCKING GET IT?

[arsenicCatnip joined the memo]

AC: :33 IT MAKES PURRRFECT SENCE SENPAI!1!

~Stop

[adiosToreador joined the memo]

AT: yEAH,, uUUHH,,,,,,,,,,, i GUUUUUUUEESSSS,,,,,,,,

[terminallyCapricious joined the memo]

TC: NoT ReAlLy bRo, bUt iTs cOoL

CG: FUCK OFF NEPETA

[carcinoGentist banned arsenicCatnip from the memo]

~#Karkatworstfriend

CG: TAVROS FUCKING GET MORE CONFIDENCE YOU ARE REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING LIKE FUCKSHIT

[carcinoGentist banned adiosToreador from the memo]

TA: hey

CG: GAMZEE.

CG: FUCK OFF.

TC: FiNe ThEn My MoThErFuCkInG InVeRtIbRoThEr

[terminallyCapricious left the memo]

TA: kk

TA: ii made one of tho2e deviiant art thiing2 you made

~Not this again

CG: WAIT WHAT

CG: YOU FUCKING DID

CG: WHAT THE FUCK

CG: YOU FUCKING SHIT

CG: FUCK SHIT IN YOUR FUCK

TA: 2olluxii2better . deviantart

~Let's see if this is real

~

Oh my God, it's beautiful

TA: haha ye2

TA: here it i2 fucker

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: YOUR ACCOUNT IS FUCKING SHIT COMAPRED TO MINE

CG: WAIT

CG: WHAT DID YOU WRITE IN YOUR BIO

CG: ...

CG: **FUCK YOU!**

CG: OKAY IM FUCKING CLOSING THIS MEMO SHIT BEFORE IT GETS ANOTHER FARTHER.

~Thank you

CG: FUCK OFF YOU SHIYS

CG: BYE

[carcinoGentist banned twinArmageddons from the memo]

[carcinoGentist banned carcinoGentist from the memo]

[carcinaGeneticist closed the memo]

Meanwhile, Lumina was playing troll solitare because she got bored. she saw that Karkat closed the memo, and decided it was time to start playing the game with him. She messaged Karkat.

[galaticGlitter began trolling carcinoGentist at 4:31 pm]

GG: 彡 kaaarkaaat caaan we 5taaart the gaaame・:.,;*

CG: FUCK YES LUMINA LETS DO THIS SHIT

GG: 彡 oh okay cool ・:.,;*

CG: OKAY SO IM GOING TO CONNECT TO YOU RIGHT NOW

CG: SO JUST FUCKING HOLD ON OR SOMETHING

[carcinoGentist is now idle]

Karkat was sitting in front of his computer. He put the spurp

~First of all, the game is called sburb, not spurp. Also, the troll equivalent of sburb is sgrub

disk into his computer disk slot and a application started with some really trippy colors with lots of moving things and lots of colors. Then he got another message on his computer.

GG: heeey kaaarkaaat where aaare you

[carcinoGentist is no longer idle]

CG: OH FUCKING SORRY IT IS JUST TAKING A REALL Y LONG TIME TO LOAD.

GG: 彡 ooh okaaay ii should aaal5o probaaaly downloaaad the game ・:.,;*

CG: OH FUCK YOU NEED THE CLIENT VERSION SHIT

~You didn't realize this earlier?

CG: AND THE FUCKING SERVER VERSION TO

CG: **FUCK**

CG: OKAY

CG: GOTTA CALM DOWN:

CG: AND SEND YOU THESE FUCKING FILES

CG: YEAH

CG: YEAH

[carcinoGentist sent galaticGlitter SPURP_ ]

~Should be sgrub

CG: OKAY FUCKING DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL THIS ONE FIRST

CG: AND THEN

[carcinoGentist sent galaticGlitter SPURP_ ]

CG: DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL THIS ONE

~How are you supposed to tell the difference, the file name is the exact same

CG: WHEN YOU HAVE THE CHANCE

CG: QUITE A FEW OF OUR FUCKING FRIENDS FUCKING TOLD ME THAT THIS GAME IS FUCKING ASSSHIT CRAZY

~Karkat, one fucking is enough

GG: 彡 okaaay ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 thaaank5 kaaarkaaat ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 oh wow it fini5hed downloaaadiing already ・:.,;*

CG: NOW YOU GOTTA FUCKING INSTALL IT WHICH WILL TAKE FOREVER

GG: 彡 okaaay iim goiing to be iidle for now ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 thaaank5 5o much kaaarkaaat *u* ・:.,;*

CG: WHAT KIND OF FUCKING CRAZY EMOTICON IS THAT

GG: 彡 oh iit5 liike my faaace wiith staaar eye5 ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 ii wii5h ii haaad staaar eye5・:.,;*

CG: NO YOU DON'T

~YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

CG: OKAY GO FUCKING INSTALL THE GAME

GG: 彡 okay ・:.,;*

[galaticGlitter is now idle]

Lumina started installing the game and just like Karkat it was thin khuge

~It was thin khuge

explosion of trippy colors, weird shapes, and flashing lights. It took like a hour to install!

[galaticGlitter is now idle]

GG: 彡hey kaaarkaaat ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 iit fiini5hed iin5taaaliing ・:.,;*

CG: OH GREAT OKAY LETS START THIS SHIT

CG: DID YOU START INSTALLING THE SERVER

GG: 彡 yeaaah ・:.,;*

CG: SAME

GG: 彡 ok 5o how do we do thii5 ・:.,;*

CG: OKAY SO I THINK

CG: WAIT

CG: I GOT YOU

CG: HOLY FUCKSHIT YOUR HOUSE IS FUCKING AMAZING

CG: LIKE FUCKING HOT DAMN

GG: 彡 hehe thaaank5 kaaarkaaat ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 your 5o niice to me ・:.,;*

~Stop talking now please

CG: OKAY SO IM GOING TO PUT ALL THE FREE STUFF IN YOUR HOUSE NOW.

CG: OK?

GG: 彡 pleaaa5e ju5t dont me55 up my hou5e ・:.,;*

CG: DONT FUCKING WORRY I WONT

Karkat began putting weired white machines and things around her house. He almost squashed her! Like two times! She then hit the white pole with a hammar she found in her house and a yellow circle thing came out! She then got a message from someone on trollian

~You just summed up the first half of act 1 in a paragraph

[apocolyspeArisen began trolling galaticGlittler at 6:12 ]

AA: lumina

GG: 彡 oh hello aaaraaadiiaaa ・:.,;*

AA: hell0

AA: circle thing that came 0ut of the p0le is your sprite 0k

GG: 彡 ok ・:.,;*

AA: it will be y0ur guide t0 game

GG: 彡 ok ・:.,;*

AA: put 0ne thing in it bef0r the game starts

AA: and then after the c0untd0wn reaches zer0 put an0ther thing in it ok

GG: 彡 aaalriight ・:.,;*

AA: pick wisely

~Why does Lumina not question how Aradia knows all of this?

GG: 彡 aaal5o aaaraaadiiaaa ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 ii remember you saaaying you were a robot・:.,;*

GG: 彡how aaare you a robot ・:.,;*

AA: i d0nt kn0w im just a r0b0t

~How do you not know how you became a robot. You were the one who entered the robot

GG: oh wow ・:.,;*

GG: thaaat5 5o cool ・:.,;*

AA: thanks

AA: ch00se wisely what you pr0t0type

AA: the first thing you put into the sprite will be part of the emeies so dont choose something big

GG: 彡 ok thaaank5 aaaraaadiiaaa ・:.,;*

~Thanks captain exposition!

[apocolyspeArisen began ceased trolling galaticGlittler at 6:12 ]

Lumina looked at the countdown. She had 1 hour and 34 minutes left! She looked around her house for something to put into the sprite like Aradia said she should. She found a can of beans and a show but nothing good to put into the sprite. But then she found nothing good to put into her sprite. But then she found a dead luma in the her front yard!

~Oh. Ok

It must of died while building her house. She felt sad and then brought it into her house. The sprite was floating around being stupid

~#Spritelivesmatter

and she dragged the luma next to it. But then she remebered that lumas were super powerful and the first thing prototayed would be part of the emenies! She put the luma down and didn't throw it. She looked around her house some more.

She started to get hungary.

~I'm always hungary

"iill ju5t maaake aaa de5eciion laaater" she said to herself quietly. She walked over to her fridge and grabbed a Star Bar. She loved star bars. It was a vallina ice cream obeyed in chocolate shell.

~Why is this your first thought

She was walking back to her computer. But then she tripped on the dead luma body! She threw her star bar! The sprite was floating around dumbly again and the star fell into the bar! The sprite became starbarsprite!

~Wow! How convenient!

[apocolyspeArisen began trolling galaticGlitter at 6:43 pm]

AA: hell0

AA: h0w is the game

GG: 彡 uh ・:.,;*

AA: what

GG: 彡 ii ju5t prototyped my 5piirt

~Spirt

wiith aaa 5taaar baaar

AA: a what ・:.,;*

GG: 彡 here iill 5end you aaa piicture of me aaand my spriiite・:.,;*

GG: 彡 instagram p / 2gk2zyzgFh / ・:.,;*

~Stop it with the inaccessible links

AA: 0h

AA: i guess that will help us because the imps will pr0bably be weaker

AA: g00d

AA: 0k i have t0 g0 n0w

AA: i need t0 c0ntinue the game

AA: have fun

GG: 彡 thaaank5 aaaraaadiiaaa ・:.,;*

[apocolyspeArisen stopped trolling galaticGlitter at 6:58 pm]

Lumina went back to the countdown. She only had 20 minutes left!

~How did that take an hour?

She ran around while texting Karkat.

[galaticGlitter began trolling carcinoGentist at 7:00 pm]

GG: 彡 kaaarkaaat ・:.,;*

CG: YES LUMINA?

GG: 彡 ii haaave 20 miinute5 left whaaat 5hould ii do ・:.,;*

CG: OKAY

CG: IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLAIN IT ALL

CG: SO FUCKING PREPARE FOR THE LONGEST FUCKING SHIT SPEACH OF YOUR FUCKING ENTIRE LIFE

~DEATH IS AN EMBRACE

CG: FIRST FIND THE TOTEM MAKER

~It's called a Cruxtruder

Lumina scrambled around her house and found the totem maker.

~Cruxtruder, which you would have already found if you managed to get your sprite

CG: OKAY

CG: NOW YOU GET THE TOTEM FROM THE TOTEM MAKER

CG: I PUT IT INTO THE CRAVER IN YOUR KITCHEN

~Craver

Lumina got the totem and put it into the carver. It began super wavy.

~It's called a Totem Lathe

CG: NOW YOU PUT IT INTO ALCHIEMIZER

CG: AND YOULL GET A BIG THING

~Wow, way to be specific

Lumina put it into the alchiemizer and it made 6 stars

~I wish they were actual stars so they would consume the planet and I could be done with this story

CG: NOW ITS A PUZZEL YOU GOTTA SOLVE OKAY

CG: I DONT KNOW HOW YOU SOLVE IT SO FIGURE IT OUT

Lumina played with stars for a while and stuff. She then figured out that she had to put the 5 of the 6 six stars' points into the large middle star. Lumina looked up and she the saw the meteor coming closer and closer.

CG: LUMINA.

CG: ITS COMING

CG: HURRY AND ACTIVATE IT!

She looked back down at the stars. She pressed the stars closer together. The stars lighted up and created on big figure and everything flashed and became whiteness.

CG: …

CG: LUMINA

CG:...

CG: LUMINA?

[galaticGlitter is now idle]

CG: …

CG: FUCK LUMINA!

( A/N LOL CLIFF HANGER XD

~But if you've read Homestuck, you'd know she's fine

also some of the links wernt working for some reason!

~I noticed

so karkat's da is karkatthefucking best,

~

Why

solluxs da is 2olluxii2better and luminas ig is lumiinaaalu5ter!

~

You've lied to me

sorry LOL!)

END OF CHAPTER 7

~It's almost over

#The Star Within #Bad Fanfiction