#its not a mystery!! i know what happens!!!! IVE BEEN HERE TWICE BEFORE ALREADY!!!!!

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

fucking sobbing, i did NOT just stay up til 215 REREADING a book for the SECOND FUCKING TIME!!!!

#text #personal #books #its not a mystery!! i know what happens!!!! IVE BEEN HERE TWICE BEFORE ALREADY!!!!! #AND YET A CERTAIN SOMEBODY IS STILL PRESUMED DEAD AND I CANNOT REST UNTIL 'YOU LITTLE IDIOT'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #cries thats not for 30 more pages i need to be a fucking SLEEP #I HAVE TO LOG ONTO WORK IN THE MORNING!!!!!

[roman-writing]

no great revelation (1/8)

Fandom(s): The Haunting of Bly Manor / Star Wars

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Tyalor

Rating: T

Wordcount: 6,236

Summary: Jamie just wants to enjoy a drink after a hard day's work on the Telosian Restoration Project. The last thing she needs is to get herself caught up in a mysterious woman with a lightsabre at the local bar. 

Aurthor’s notes: Please don’t expect anything from this story. I’m just doodling in between writing ch11 and ch12 of ‘bring home a haunting.’

read it below or read it here on AO3

“The great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one.”

— Virginia Woolf, The Waves

—

I.

See, here’s the thing: she didn’t look like a Jedi. In fact she didn’t look much like anything. Any other time, and Jamie would have spared her a brief albeit appreciative glance before moving on. Today however, Jamie did what could only be described as a double take. 

The bar was crowded, and the night was young, and Jamie still had dirt under her fingernails from a day’s hard work beneath the Telosian sun. An Ithorian had just jostled Jamie’s elbow as he pushed by on his way to the bar, ignoring her tired grumble of, “Watch it, hammerhead,” when she’d spilled a bit of the local ale she had been nursing. She was wiping her wrist dry on her drab Corps-issued boilersuit, when she caught sight of her by the bar. 

Or rather. Saw it. A lightsabre. Clear as day. Clipped to this woman’s belt, poorly concealed beneath a cloak clasped together at one shoulder. Jamie nearly spilled her ale again. And that was when she really gave this woman a closer look.

Blonde. Pretty. Maybe a little too pretty. Definitely not Jedi material, however. For starters, her clothes were all wrong. She looked like she’d just stepped off a cruiser from the Core Worlds in those nanosilks. She moved as though too aware of the weapon she bore, her hand drifting to her waist every now and then before gripping her fingers in a fist and trying — and failing — to look nonchalant. And to polish it all off, she kept glancing around as though afraid that every tavern patron was about to grab her by the arm and haul her from the building. 

A nervous tourist, perhaps. Someone unused to travel. Or maybe a mule. Someone unlucky enough to owe a debt to Czerka. 

Jamie’s scant money was on the latter. Which of course begged the question: a mule smuggling what? 

Over the top of the bar, the holo feed flickered with the latest news from across the galaxy. Yet another infringement on the Treaty of Coruscant as Imperial Sith forces seized a planet along the border of the Outer Rim. From her vantage point in the far corner of the tavern, Jamie pretended to watch the feed idly as she sipped at her ale and studied the woman askance. Across the way, the woman was crowded away from the bar and closer towards Jamie’s corner table as thirsty patrons with credits clamoured for a drink, while the bartender — a Kel Dorian with a rusting breather mask that had seen better days — struggled to meet demands. 

Two more people entered the crowded tavern and began shouldering their way towards the bar. Jamie’s hand froze in its journey lifting the glass to her lips. Slowly, she set the drink down and leaned back in her seat, lowering her hand in a nonchalant manner to rest against her thigh. The small mining laser strapped to her leg wasn’t useful for much outside of cutting bits of wire or rope. It would even go through narrow branches in a pinch, if Jamie were too lazy to go trudging off for a proper thermal saw. But it would certainly give somebody a nasty burn if applied with a generous disregard for the health and safety manual. 

Not that starting a fight with two Czerka pillocks was her idea of a relaxing evening after work. Especially not with her history with the Hutt Cartel. The last thing she needed was yet another galaxy-spanning underworld corporation painting a target on her back. 

Pillock One was hassling other patrons, lifting hoods to get a better look at faces and pushing his own ugly mug close enough that said patrons leaned away. Meanwhile, Pillock Two was holding a chip in his outstretched palm, which projected a tiny holo displaying what appeared to be a very large amount of credits as a reward for any who cooperated with their search for a newcomer on the planet. The mini-holo flickered with the Czerka logo and a sign-off from the Official Head Pillock himself: Peter Fucking Quint. 

This day could not get any worse.

Jamie slouched down a few more inches in her seat. Definitely Not A Jedi Mystery Woman near the bar had only just taken notice of their newly arrived friends, and tugged up the hood of her cloak with a panicked expression. Jamie refrained from rolling her eyes, but only just. By the time the Czerka reached the woman, Jamie was well and truly ready for the worst. 

“You there.” Pillock One grabbed a hold of the woman’s shoulder and spun her round. “Not hiding, are you?” 

He reached up to push the hood of her cloak back, but she jerked away. Her expression was firm, but Jamie was close enough to see the tremble of her fingers. “I’m just passing through.”

“Not much of a tourist joint, Telos IV,” Pillock Two said. His voice was muffled behind the bulky helmet he wore, emblazoned with a chipped Czerka logo on one side. 

The woman lifted her chin slightly, pulling her cloak more firmly around herself. “The gardens here are famous across the galaxy.”

“You don’t strike me as the type to get your hands dirty,” Pillock One sneered. 

“Or maybe she does,” Pillock Two said, and he put the chip away, the mini holo vanishing as he did so. The woman shrank away from them, her back pushing against the edge of the bar. 

All right, so the mule theory was out with the bathwater and the last of Jamie's sanity, it would seem.

Don’t get involved, Jamie, she told herself firmly. She grit her teeth and tightened her grip on the mining laser.

The bartender leaned forward and said, “If you don’t mind, you’re scaring the customers.”

“Shut the fuck up, or I’ll hook up your mask to an oxygen tank,” Pillock Two snapped. 

The bartender immediately shuffled back, and the other patrons that had previously been crowding the bar followed suit, creating a vacuum of space around Jamie’s little corner of the tavern. Which, of course, meant that Pillock One looked in her direction, as she was now the only person who hadn’t moved away.

Fuck. 

“She’s with me.”

All three of them froze at the sound of Jamie’s voice. Pillock Two turned to regard her as well, and over his shoulder Jamie could just make out the woman cautiously leaning around him to get a look at who had spoken. 

So much for not getting involved.

“She was getting us some drinks,” Jamie continued. She managed to catch the other woman’s attention and exchanged a significant look.

The woman nodded. “Yeah. I was just - uh -” 

She gestured towards the bartender, who by now was no doubt pressing an emergency transmitter for the authorities located beneath the bar. Jamie would know. She’d had to press it herself once or twice when things got too rowdy around these parts. Not that it happened often. Just often enough. 

Pillock Two pointed to Jamie’s glass. “Looks like you’re still making your way through that one.”

“What can I say?” Jamie gave a shrug and remained seated. “I’m thirsty.” 

Pillock One sauntered over to her table. Jamie glared up at him from her seat, maintaining eye contact even as he reached out and tipped her glass over so that ale foamed and spilled all across the table. 

“Go ahead and drink, then,” he said.

“She’s been on Telos with me for a week already,” Jamie countered, ignoring the slow drip of ale onto her work boots. “Whoever you’re looking for came here — when? On yesterday’s shuttle from Praadost?” 

Pillock One grit his jaw so tight Jamie could see the muscles bunch up there. 

She bared her teeth at him in a smile. “Thought as much. Now, fuck off and let honest people drink in peace. Yeah?” 

For a long tense moment it seemed that would be the start of a very long evening, in which Jamie ended up back in her flat upstairs nursing a bag of ice against her face if she were lucky. Then, Pillock Two thwacked his companion on the shoulder with the back of his hand.

“The bounty’s getting away, while we sit here wasting our time,” he said. “Let’s go.” 

Pillock One stayed where he was, glowering at Jamie until Pillock Two made his way back towards the exit. Only then did he follow suit, but not without taking inventory of her appearance. And of course Jamie had to go and wear her Corps-issued boilersuit to the pub, with the AgriCorps logo stamped all over it. Absolutely phenomenal choice there. 

When they’d finally left, Jamie heaved a great sigh and let her head fall back against the chair for a second. Then she rose to her feet and crossed over to the bar. The woman eyed her warily, then seemed confused when Jamie ignored her utterly in favour of leaning against the bar and speaking to the bartender, “Ho’kyn, you got a towel?”

The bartender gave her a relieved nod in thanks, and immediately poured her two fresh ales. He slid them across the bar along with a stained dish towel. Jamie took them, pushed one into the woman’s hands, took the other for herself, and sank back down into her usual corner table seat with a drawn out groan. She used the towel to mop up the remnants of her previous drink before chucking it back towards the direction of the bar. The woman had to dodge out of the way to avoid being hit square in the face.

“You going to sit or not?” Jamie asked, and she kicked the leg of the other chair as an invitation. 

Nonplussed, the woman just stood there, clutching the full glass of ale between her hands as though it were a lifeline. Then she perched herself at the very edge of the seat, so that she seemed fit to flee at the drop of a hat. 

“Thank you,” she said eventually.

Jamie hummed around a sip of her ale, then lowered her glass. “Might want to hide that a bit better next time.”

“Hide what?”

Jamie gave her a significant look, then let her gaze wander down to the woman’s waist, where the glint of metal was clearly visible through a gap in her cloak. Face flushing, the woman jerked the cloak more tightly around her midriff and sent Jamie a glare that lacked any real edge. Before she could hide the lightsabre, Jamie could clearly see this close the faint glow of kyber through the hilt’s decorative casing, blue as the woman’s eyes. 

Or - well. Blue as one of the woman’s eyes. The other was a strange sort of brown, like the gleam of light through amber. 

Must’ve been some kind of cosmetic augment. Except there were no microfibral lines or data ports to suggest further connections that would make such augmentations useful in any capacity. 

“So,” Jamie said, leaning her elbows on the table and cradling the glass of ale between her palms. “What does Czerka want with a pretty thing like you from the Core Worlds?”

The woman shot her a bemused scowl. “I don’t know. I don’t even know who those people were.”

“Well, you’re awfully convincing. I’ll give you that.”

Jamie’s comment was summarily ignored, and the woman asked, “How do you know I’m from the Core Worlds?”

“You’ve got a Core accent thicker than a Senator’s.”

The woman’s mouth dropped open to protest, then shut again without saying anything. Instead she took a sip of the ale, holding the glass precariously from the top rim. Jamie watched this with some amusement, half expecting the glass to be dropped along the way. By some miracle it wasn’t. 

“Let me rephrase the question,” Jamie said. “Why do you have a bounty on your head?”

Her shoulders bunched up around her ears, and the woman cast a furtive look around to see if anyone had overheard their conversation. The other patrons had, indeed, moved back into their space now that Czerka was out of the building, but nobody was paying attention. That was why Jamie liked this corner. Nice and private. 

When the answer wasn’t forthcoming, Jamie slouched back in her seat. “All right. A guessing game, then. Does it have something to do with that stolen lightsabre on your hip?” 

“I could’ve bought it,” the woman countered.

Jamie gave her a slow grin. “You really couldn’t have.”

“And why not?” 

“Because the people who trade in lightsabres aren’t the kind of people you walk away from.” 

“Are you,” the woman asked warily, “a Jedi?”

Jamie gave a derisive snort. “Not even close. Trained in the temple, sure, but I was a shit padawan. Can’t lift a pebble with the Force. Got tossed out of Tython as a failure early on, and they passed me around various Service Corps branches until I ended up here to work on the Restoration Project.” 

“Oh. Right,” she said in a tone that meant she didn’t actually understand the situation at all. 

Jamie tapped her chest where the AgriCorps symbol sewn onto the corner of her boilersuit. “I’m a glorified gardener.”

The woman gestured towards a nearby window, through which the leafy horizon of Telos IV was darkening in the encroaching dusk. “I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job,” she said with a weak smile. 

“Oh, sure,” said Jamie dryly. “Only took us three hundred bloody years. And I still find shell fragments from the orbital barrage some days. Fucking Sith.” 

With a shake of her head, Jamie took a sip of her ale. Across the table, the woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“But you know,” the woman asked after a lapse in the conversation, “how to use one?” 

“What? A lightsabre?” 

The woman nodded.

“Well, I can hold one without chopping my own fingers off, which is more than most people can say. Never got past Shii-Cho before they yanked the practise blade from my hands and told me I was out.” Jamie made a jerking motion with her thumb over her shoulder as if throwing something away. 

“I never knew what happened to people if they never made it to being a full Jedi.”

“Yes, what glorious lives we lead,” Jamie drawled, and she lifted her ale in a mock salute before draining it and setting the glass back on the table. “Listen, I suggest you lie low for a few days. Sneak back aboard a transport, and then move on before Czerka realise you’ve gone. Just -” Jamie offered a wry smile and said, “- head back to the Core.”

The woman was gazing down into her half-drunk glass of ale. “I can’t. The Core Worlds are — I can’t.” 

“It’s either that, or -” 

And Jamie didn’t finish what she was saying. Instead, she pointed towards the holo feed over the bar, where the news was replaying the spread of red across the galactic map, like a virus creeping ever outward from the Sith homeworld of Korriban. The woman glanced up towards the holo feed and flinched as if she’d been struck across the cheek. 

“Cold War won’t last forever. And when it breaks, this is the last place you want to be.”

The woman frowned at Jamie. “And what about you?”

“I don’t get much of a choice,” Jamie said with a bitter chuckle. “The Council of Reassignment sends me where they send me.” 

“That sounds terrible,” the woman replied softly. 

A few more patrons trickled in through the front door on the far end of the long room. Jamie spared them a quick glance before dismissing them. Just the authorities answering Ho’kyn’s call about the Czerka assholes, no doubt. A handful of officers in tired uniforms and tired expressions behind their opaque half-face shields. They approached the bar and exchanged a few words with Ho’kyn, who gestured back the way they’d come.

“It is what it is,” Jamie replied, training her eye after the officers, who had begun talking to a few patrons and scribbling down notes on the pop-up screens from their forearms. “Difficult to make a living as a Force sensitive outside of the Council’s jurisdiction. And they look after me in their own way. It’s not -”

Jamie trailed off and cocked her head to one side. The holo feed over the bar now bore a description of her newfound acquaintance in the scroll text along the bottom of the usual news. There was no picture attached, but it was clear who the authorities were talking about. Jamie read the scroll text in a bored kind of bemusement. 

Until it got to the part about being wanted for murder, that was. 

Jamie’s eyebrows rose almost to her hairline. Sitting up straight, she glanced over at the woman, who had tracked where she was looking and whose face had gone white as a sheet. Another glance over her shoulder towards the group of officers slowly making their way from table to table. They weren’t as efficient as Pillock One and Pillock Two, but they would get here eventually.  

With a surreptitious jerk of her head towards the holo feed, Jamie asked quietly, “That right?” 

Eyes wide and hands shaking around her glass of ale, the woman stared at Jamie. Her voice wobbled when she spoke, coming out broken and erratic, “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to - He just - He attacked me out of nowhere. I swear it wasn’t -”

“Fucking hell,” Jamie muttered under her breath. She dragged a hand down her face and shook her head. Then she sighed. “Who are you?” 

“Dani,” was the immediate answer. 

“Dani,” Jamie repeated in a dull tone. “What the fuck have you gotten me into?” 

Worrying at her lower lip with her teeth, Dani said, “Not to seem ungrateful, or anything, but I don’t exactly remember asking for your help.”

Jamie mulled that over for a second, before conceding with a nod of her head. “Fair,” she said. Then she abruptly rose to her feet. “Right. I’m off, then. Good luck.”

“Hang on -! No, wait -!”

When Jamie did not, in fact, ‘hang on’ but instead turned to leave, she felt Dani grab her by the wrist, and she went stock-still.

It was like an electric shock. The wave of it traveled up her arm and hummed between her teeth loud as a thunderclap. It was like standing atop a great mountain, and the wind tearing at her clothes and hair. It was like waking up six feet beneath the ground, gasping for breath and breathing in dust until she drowned in it. It settled over her like a pall, a mist, a cool kiss at the back of her neck that roved down her spine and coiled in her gut. It was like a set of floodgates being unleashed, like being dragged along the current to some great unknown destination, vast and sweeping as the stars. 

“I’m sorry. Please,” Dani whispered, gazing up at her with wide eyes, her voice like a riptide. “Help me.”

And Jamie gaped down at her. Like an absolute moron. 

Not a Jedi. Not at all. Not a Sith, either. At least, not like any Sith Jamie had seen in the holo feeds. All black robes and black masks and red gold eyes that seemed to pierce the veil between them, as though reaching through space and time to claw back the very essence of whoever dared perceive them. And Jamie might not have been the strongest Force sensitive on the books — not by a long shot — but she was Force sensitive. She knew what the Force felt like, and that was —

“Shit,” Jamie hissed. Taking a moment to compose herself and draw in a deep breath, she grabbed hold of Dani’s hand in return and tugged her upright. “Come with me. Pull your hood back up. Keep quiet. Do what I say. And don’t make me regret this.”

Scrambling to do as she was told, Dani pulled her hood up and trailed in Jamie’s wake. Jamie squeezed them around the back of the bar, bending her knees just slightly so that they were a little less conspicuous. Ho’kyn shot them a puzzled look as they passed. 

“I wasn’t here,” Jamie muttered to him.

The sharply pointed feelers on his face clicked. “Back door’s locked. You know the combination.”

“Cheers, mate.”

It was a quick duck and weave through the cramped kitchens and storage rooms, a race past the walk-in freezer, and then Jamie was punching in the combination code to open the rear door. The two of them spilled out into the back alley. Piles of trash had been stored awaiting disposal in the recycling unit that came every three days. Clouds of steam puffed from the vents in the walls, creating white trails that rose into the night sky. 

Dani squeezed her hand tight. Jamie squeezed it back, but then Dani gave her hand a tug and pointed towards the main street down the way. Flashing lights and parked vehicles. More authorities congregated on the front step of Ho’kyn’s tavern. When the heavy metal rear door to the tavern slammed shut, one of the officers shone a torch down the alleyway towards the noise. 

Acting quickly, Jamie pushed Dani up against a nearby wall by the door.

“What are you -?” Dani gasped.

“Just -” Jamie stepped in close, close enough to block Dani from view, “- trust me. Keep your head down. Pretend like we’re -”

The circle of light hit them. Jamie could feel Dani wince, could feel Dani duck her head and bury her face in Jamie’s shoulder, gripping the fabric of Jamie’s boilersuit along her back as though she were a human shield. They were barely touching, but still Jamie felt the heat of Dani’s skin beneath layers of pastel nanosilk, the sweep of her panicked breaths against Jamie’s collarbone. A few stray strands of blonde hair tickled her nose, and Jamie had to fight the urge to scratch at her face. 

To say nothing of the cold length of a lightsabre pressing against her inner thigh. And not in a good way. In a ‘This Will Burn A Hole Through My Leg If I Move’ way. 

After what felt like a whole planetary cycle, the light moved along, the officer clearly disinterested in a couple groping one another behind a seedy bar. Jamie waited a few rapid heartbeats longer before pulling back. Dani peeled her hands away from Jamie’s back, looking small. In the dark, her mismatched eyes seemed to gleam owlishly. Especially the pale brown one. Almost golden. Like something that belonged to a nocturnal animal. 

“This way,” Jamie murmured.

When she began guiding them further into the shadow of the alley, Dani asked haltingly, “Why -? I mean - where are we -?” 

Jamie reached the expected set of metal grated stairs leading up to the second floor above the bar. “My flat.” 

Dani followed without further question, nervous and silent, all but hugging Jamie’s back when Jamie fumbled the passcode to unlock the door at the top of the stairs. They stumbled inside and Jamie only breathed easier when she’d shut the door behind them, locked them, then hit the control panel to lower the alusteel shutters over the windows. 

The apartment was small and dark and not at all quiet. By now Jamie was used to the noise of the nearby streets and the tavern beneath her feet. Her neighbours weren’t exactly gems, either. Another slap of the control panel, and she turned on a few lights and the news holo feed along the wall screen to generate some more noise so that it would be more difficult for them to be overheard by anyone snooping. 

Jamie turned around to find Dani standing stiffly in the middle of the living room. Which was also a kitchenette. And the entryway. And technically the guest bedroom. There was no wall separating it from the actual main bedroom. Beyond that was a door leading to a bathroom, and another door leading to a very cramped closet, which bore nothing but spare sets of Corps-issued boilersuits in various states of shabby, and a few personal outfits that weren’t much better off. 

“Your place is - uh -” Dani started to say, gesturing weakly around her. 

“Pure shite,” Jamie finished for her. “Thanks. I know.” 

“That’s not what I was going to say.” 

“No? And were you ever going to get around to telling me about the whole murder thing?”

“Yeah, actually, I was waiting until after we’d finished our drinks. I thought it would be a good segue into a friendship,” Dani retorted in a tone so sarcastic that Jamie had to quell an answering smile. 

“All right,” Jamie stepped forward, motioning towards the couch for Dani to take a seat and make herself comfortable. “Why don’t you start from the beginning.” 

Dani did not take the invitation; she remained standing, thumbs tucked into her fists, shoulders tense, jaw tense, gaze downcast. 

“Do you want another drink?” Jamie offered quietly.

Dani shook her head. “No. Thank you.” She flexed her hands and said in a dull voice that lacked its previous fire, “I was recently employed by Lord Wingrave of House Thul. He - uh - he needed a governess to teach his young niece and nephew at his family estate, and my background is in education. So, I thought it was a - it was supposed to be a good opportunity for me.”

“Until it wasn’t,” Jamie said.

Dani nodded. “Yeah.” She sniffled and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand before continuing.  “It turned out he has unsavoury friends and -” she wrinkled her nose, “- debts.”

“What kind of friends?” Jamie asked.

Dani didn’t answer, but her eyes darted just for a moment towards the holo feed, where a fleet of Imperial II-class Star Destroyers were raining down hell on fleeing Republic ships. 

Well, shit. 

“Poor choice of friends,” Jamie muttered under her breath.

Dani hummed a note in agreement. 

“Then what happened? Did you hear something you weren’t supposed to? Find something, maybe?”

Dani’s head jerked up to look at Jamie in surprise and — for some reason — suspicion. “I did,” she said slowly. “I found a - a box.”

Rolling up her sleeves for no other reason than to give her hands something to do, Jamie asked, “What kind of box?”  

“Why does everyone keep going on about that box?” Dani asked, her expression suddenly going steely in a way that did not seem to become her. “What is so important about a glowing little box?”

“It glows? Listen, I’m not - Woah! Hey! Be careful where you point that thing!”

The lightsabre had appeared in Dani’s hand in a movement too fast for the eye to track, as if it had always been there, as if it belonged there. The blade was still sheathed, but gone was the awkward hesitance with which she had worn it before. She levelled the unlit hilt towards Jamie with a tilt of her wrist, and her face was hard yet frightened. 

“Who are you? Why do you want to know about this box?” Dani asked, and her voice was surprisingly even for all the tremble in her clenched fist. “Answer me.” 

Jamie had her hands held before her, as though that would somehow help deflect a fucking lightsabre. She tried to drift sideways to get out of the way, but Dani trained the hilt on her as though it were the muzzle of a blaster rifle. 

“The name’s Jamie, but I’d prefer it if you bought me dinner before pointing any weapons at me,” Jamie said blandly. She immediately regretted the quip, when Dani’s hand tightened around the hilt of the sabre and her thumb drifted over the activation button. 

“Okay! Okay!” Jamie scrambled back a few steps, nearly tripping over the edge of the couch, but Dani followed closely after her. “It just seems to be a bit weird, is all. Glowing boxes and corrupt Lords. Y’know. Unless Wingrave was in the habit of collecting items of luminous quality. I don’t fucking know. I’m just trying to get a picture of what happened, so that I can -” Jamie gave a wave of one hand towards Dani, “- help you. Remember? Remember that part? Me helping you?”

If the furrow in Dani’s brow was any indication, she was not convinced by this argument. 

Jamie motioned to the lightsabre. “Also, you’re holding that the wrong way ‘round.”

With a blink of confusion, Dani glanced down at the lightsabre in her grasp, tilting it to one side for a better look. The moment she did so, Jamie leapt forward, grabbed the hilt of the sabre, and tried to wrench it free. A scuffle broke out, and it was not the most dignified scuffle Jamie had ever taken part in. There was a lot of swearing — admittedly, mostly from herself — and a lot of yanking at the lightsabre hilt in futile desperation like a game of tug of war. Except instead of a rope, they were tugging at a weapon that might accidentally extend a nigh unstoppable plasma blade with one wrong movement. 

Eventually, Jamie managed to hook a foot behind Dani’s ankles, causing her to fall to the ground with a graceless yelp. Unfortunately, Dani did not let go of the sabre as expected, and Jamie was dragged down with her. Jamie grunted in pain when a sharp elbow connected with her ribs. With one final yank, she managed to wrest the lightsabre free.

Dani panted beneath her, flushed and half pinned to the floor between Jamie’s knees. Her hair was splayed loosely across the carpet, and she glowered up at Jamie with equal parts impotent fury and fear. 

“Right,” Jamie said breathlessly, ribs still aching. “Now that that’s all sorted, can you please tell me about this glowing box? And spare no detail.”

In answer, Dani’s jaw took a stubborn set. Sighing, Jamie pushed herself upright, then offered Dani a hand. Dani stared at her for a moment before allowing herself to be hauled to her feet, where she brushed down the back of her nanosilks. 

“When was the last time you cleaned your floor?”

“Can’t remember,” Jamie answered honestly.

Dani wrinkled her nose and began to card fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame it. When Jamie held out the lightsabre, palm up, in a silent offering, Dani went very still. Hesitantly, she reached out to take it, but Jamie pulled her hand back slightly before she could do so.

“Be careful,” Jamie warned. “This thing isn’t a toy. You’re more likely to chop off your own leg by accident than you are to actually injure someone else. And don’t point it at me again! Or we’re going to have words. Got it?”

Jamie waited for her to nod, then held the lightsabre out again. Dani took it, and her shoulders relaxed incrementally once she had it back in her grasp. 

“Now,” Jamie said. “Weird glowy box?”

Dani sighed and ran the same hand through her hair that held the lightsabre. Jamie had to suppress a wince. After everything she’d said about being careful, too. Bloody idiot. 

“I don’t know what it was,” Dani admitted. “I overheard a transmission. Something about putting the box where the children could get it. So, naturally, I investigated. I found it on a shelf in their playroom. I picked it up, and -”

She trailed off with a helpless little gesture.

“And?” Jamie pressed.

“And I don’t know,” said Dani, clearly frustrated. She paused to hook the lightsabre back onto her belt, but it took her a few tries to make it work. She almost dropped the weapon in the process, and Jamie took a step back just in case the bloody thing went unsheathing itself into the floor. “I woke up and I didn’t know where I was, or how much time had passed, or -”

“Which is when you looked down and found a dead man at your feet.”

“What?” Dani frowned at her. “No. That was later.” 

“Right. My bad,” Jamie said dryly. “Describe the box to me.” 

“It was about this big.” Dani held up her hands to indicate an object that could comfortably be held in one hand. “Sharp edges. Some kind of black gold metal, but nothing like I’d ever seen before. It looked hollow, but it was heavy. Like the light inside of it had weight.” 

“Was there writing on it? Marks of any kind?”

“Yeah, but nothing I could read.” 

“Would you recognise them if you saw them again?”

Dani shrugged. “Sure. I guess.” 

“Do you have this box with you now?”

At that, Dani’s shoulders went all tense again and she pursed her lips, her expression growing guarded. 

“Forget I asked,” Jamie said with a dismissive wave. With a sigh, she leaned down and began unlacing her work boots. She chucked them into a corner and then flopped onto the couch, placing her feet up on the cushions. “All right. Last question for the night. Did you know that you’re Force sensitive?”

Dani stared at her as though Jamie had sprouted an extra limb. And then she laughed. It was, in all honesty, a very nice laugh. Nothing at all like the nervous smile from the bar. Her smile now had lines at the corners, and she shook her head. 

“No,” said Dani, still laughing. “No, I’m not.”

Jamie hoisted up an eyebrow but said nothing.

“I’m not,” Dani repeated more firmly this time, her smile fading. “There’s nothing - I’m not special. I’m a governess. I’m from a small town on Alderaan in the middle of nowhere. I teach kids about galactic history and how to share toys.” 

Jamie pointed to herself. “And I’m a Rim Rat, but that didn’t stop the Jedi from hauling me off to the Temple for training until they realised I was a waste of time.” 

“I’m not -!” Dani’s voice had started to climb, and she quickly lowered it to a hush. “I’m not - like that. My family is normal. I’m normal. We don’t have any kind of history or - or anything.”

“You’re telling me you didn’t feel it?”

“Feel what? What are you talking about?”

Sitting up abruptly, Jamie leaned forward on the couch. “When you touched me earlier. In the bar. You grabbed my hand, and I felt — That was it. That was the Force. You were like a - a circuit. Like an exposed wire. You didn’t feel it?” 

Dani was staring at her now and there was no laughter. Only a dim and dawning horror.

“No,” Dani croaked. “I didn’t feel anything.”

Jamie huffed out a short and mordant laugh. Then she said, “Liar.” 

“I’m not -” Dani inhaled sharply and sat down on the edge of the couch furthest from Jamie. She crossed her arms. “I don’t want to talk about this.” 

Jamie shook her head and gave an incredulous chuckle. “Fine,” she said. “Fine. Here’s the plan: I have no idea what’s going on -”

“Great start,” Dani muttered under her breath.

“- but I know some people who might,” Jamie continued. 

Dani’s eyes narrowed. “What’s the catch?” 

“Catch?” 

“I’ve just spent the last two weeks being chased across half the galaxy by criminals and authorities alike. You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little skeptical of your sudden eagerness to help. So,” Dani leaned forward and fixed Jamie with a pinning stare, made all the more unsettling by her mismatched eyes. “What’s the catch?” 

“The catch,” Jamie said, lying back against the couch cushions, “is that my friends are a pair of Jedi on Tython. And the Council doesn’t really think of discretionary funds as a necessity, so I don’t have enough money to get us both there.”

Dani’s face went a little pale. “Can’t they -” she swallowed before continuing, “Can’t they meet us somewhere else? Somewhere halfway, maybe?”

Slinging an arm behind her head, Jamie asked, “Why? What’s wrong with Tython? I mean — apart from the obvious of it being one of the most boring rocks in the known galaxy.”

“Nothing,” said Dani, very unconvincingly. “It’s just - That’s a long way to go. And I’m not exactly swimming in credits either.” 

Jamie studied the way Dani tried to hide the wringing of her hands beneath her cloak, the way Dani noticed what she herself was doing and hid her hands behind her back even as she gave Jamie her best imploring look. Which, granted, was very effective. She certainly had some eyes. 

Gentling her tone Jamie said, “Hannah and Owen are good people. Better friends than I probably deserve. The most they could be accused of is spending too much time with their noses buried in the library or in a kitchen recipe.”

“It’s not - I don’t doubt that. It’s just -” Dani breathed in deeply and then continued in a rush, “I don’t think people will like me going to the central planet of the Jedi Order.” 

“Why would they even care?”

“Because,” Dani said slowly, not meeting Jamie’s gaze. She wrung her hands together in her lap, staring down at her own fingers. “The man I killed was a Jedi.” 

Well, then. 

Things just got complicated.

--

“Perhaps you were expecting some surprise, for me to reveal a secret that had eluded you, something that would change your perspective of events, shatter you to your core. There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.”

— Darth Traya, The Sith Lords

#the haunting of bly manor #thobm #dani clayton/jamie #damie #star wars au #no great revelation #roman writes #star wars

[twewy-comix]

x4 me to die - let’s watch the twewy anime

oh yeah wow the sub timing’s really bad lol. good thing im a fast reader! (and i also have ears)

oh nooooo he mistakes someone else for shiki ;;; theyre really cranking up the pain of some of these scenes to 11

ok so ive been slowly trying to get through final remix, which is easier said than done because im old now and the controls do a number on my wrist. anyway i had to fight one of those rhino things and totally forgot you have to aim at its ass. but it turns toward you whenever you hit it anyway? goddamn fucking rhinos

alright, fun story, i didnt play twewy right when it came out because i was a baby who needed my mom and dad to buy games for me. but my VERY FIRST memory of it is wondering why the fuck this person i followed (uhh “watched”?) on deviantart kept saying “zetta slow xDDD” what does that mean, what’s slow, more like zetta annoying as shit

my opinion has not changed. 

and now i have money to spend on games and mountains of sho beanbags

iiyo

so they had josh call him “neku” twice before asking his name in the DS NA version, edited that out of the switch NA version, but now it’s back here

our normal friend josh! also he slow claps lmao

alright, i was wondering how they were gonna do this--actually imo the first scan happening by accident like this makes more sense to me than the game’s “just scan me if you dont trust me” “i know that won’t work (does it anyway)”

.......but now i wanna know how the other josh scans will work out? in the game he could do it, like, secretly from afar, but is he gonna be like “hey bro dont mind me just gonna platonically touch your shoulder and stare into space for a bit, as bros do”

more foreshadowing! ok well it’s more like straight up “these two are players now” but yeah

there it is, the line that sparked years of twewy conspiracy theories

(...from me. are they gonna elaborate on this in neo?? I HAVE TO KNOW)

bro we all know youre like 40

one time i trespassed visited a junkyard with my dog and she kept jumping into all the junked cars because she wanted to go for a ride. it was adorable.

OH NO! OH GOD! ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT THESE THINGS WERE JUST IN THE UG BUT EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM??? #CRINGE #CRINGE #CRINGE

it’s too much. my rage has dissipated into solemn acceptance. all i can think of to say is “ouch” and “this is really sad”

(and “wooh! w”)

these guys are cringing too

OH RIGHT I ALMOST FORGOT, i didnt mention it before but the reaper grunts’ designs have changed, and someone pointed out that the red ones’ is really similar to neku’s new design in neo

chain necklace, mask, v-neck, hoodie

this has some unfortunate implications!!! (i mean assuming it IS neku, which we dont actually really know yet)

anyway

koko de 4ne

(the subs dont even try to translate the goroawase... a blessing or a curse? u decide)

[insert really gory sfx here]

but no blood? that’s weird. do players not have blood?? or maybe someone stepped on a burger or something. anyway this guy’s hella dead

then sho tries to make everyone kill each other???????? but neku’s like “dont listen to that asshole” and theyre like “ok”

...yo that’s totally the mus rattus shopkeeper on the bottom left there

gee thanks for the gamefaqs josh wouldve been useful a few days ago

oh nvm there’s violence anyway. “what no, purple hoodie guy, purple hoodie guy no”

BRO????

okay well now kariya and uzuki are summoning rhinos too. rhinos all over the goddamn place. goodbye, yumi sheena

subs leave out number puns: thank you

subs translate “follow my lead” “screw that” differently: noooo whyyyy i hate funimation :’( :’( :’(

in the game neku tells josh what happened to shiki and he’s like “happens all the time who cares lol”

here, josh already knows makes a lucky guess. because it happens all the time.

normal friend josh!

five hours

yknow what, yeah, considering sho’s characterization here, he probably did want them to just murder the winner for the gold pin

--oh wait no this isnt the gold pin mission. but still

“i stole it :)”

shopping tutorial’s moved way ahead to here. clearly this is foreshadowing josh’s princess umbrella, which will prove invaluable in the final battle

man i wonder who’s responsible for making all that taboo noise? it’s a mystery

ugh, anime is full of male gaze :///

OH OKAY THIS IS DIFFERENT

zowee

yooree

:(

♫ there’s our friend, our normal friend, there’s our normal pal josh ♫

♫ he’s a normal guy, with red glowing eyes, he likes to think about how neku dies ♫

what an awkward situation! luckily beat is here to punch neku in the face to break the ice, as well as neku’s jaw

and... uh... then he leaves. the end

♫ normal guy, breaks glass with his mind ♫

bonus:

#i hate you... but i love you... but i hate you... #twewy spoilers/ #this took way too long because tumblr fuckery sry

[uwua3]

saw you in a dream.

🌸🎮 chigasaki itaru

summary: this was the one game itaru couldn’t win, no matter how many times he tried

warnings: car crash, hospital, major character death, simulation (existential), surrealism

author’s note: another song fic! this actually made me cry for a long time, even if it’s not as long as my other pieces. this holds a special place in my heart ♡ i am sorry

we all cope differently. whatever you do, i hope you’ll feel better ♡ this won’t be forever, you’ll see them again one day. this focuses on what happens you lose a loved one, and what being in between life and death feels like. enjoy~

word count: 3,602

music: saw you in a dream – the japanese house (i highly recommend listening while reading)

I SAW YOU IN A DREAM,

YOU HAD STAYED THE SAME

Itaru didn’t remember what happened after the incident. All he knew was it was so dark, he couldn’t hear your screams, and the wreck around him was gone. He couldn’t move, but there was no pain. It was like, this wasn’t real. Was any of this real? What made this possible? What happened?

Itaru tried to shake himself awake, but he already was. His eyes were open but he couldn’t see a thing. It was just, nothing. Everything was gone. You were right beside him before he... what did he do? Were you okay? Did something happen? It was like Itaru had no control over his own body, like he was just in a vessel. Was this his body to begin with? Maybe, it wasn’t his time anymore.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Itaru couldn’t locate where any of his limbs were, what it felt like to be connected. He knew they were still attached, but it’s like all the nerves in his body were severed. Was he still inside his body? Who was he? Itaru wasn’t breathing, but he felt fine. There was nothing, and he was becoming nothing as well. It was just black. How long had he been here? Where were you?

Then, everything came back to him at once. The blackness split into fragments, pieces of his location overwhelming his vision. First, came a distant, blurry gloved hand pulling him away from something. It wore a fireman patch. Next, the load roar of an ambulance siren parked across from him. Then, Itaru could move his neck, he looked down, his car was flipped over. It was destroyed, the engine bursting into flames as a bright light overtook his senses. Finally, a stretcher. It was white, suddenly more figures were around him. Staring. Watching. Touching.

Itaru blinked. Once. Twice. Where was he?

Itaru closed his eyes. But, life wasn’t a game.

YOU WERE BECKONING ME,

SAID THAT I CHANGED

Itaru suddenly could breathe again. Itaru woke up with a start, sitting up as the oxygen mask on his face released a muffled gasp. The room was just as white as before, but the ground didn’t feel like it was moving anymore. Itaru moved to check his inventory, he must’ve played some game too long. But, the moment he tried to shift around, Itaru winced as he felt the tug of IV needles piercing his veins.

Itaru tried to pull the mask off, struggling as his vision went blurry again. He heard the door slam open and a rush of hurried conversations. Felt something push his chest back down to lie flat against the bed. A shot to his arm. Something that sounded like an apology.

Then, nothing, again.

TRIED TO KEEP MY EYES CLOSED,

I WANT YOU SO BAD

THEN I AWOKE AND IT WAS SO SAD

Itaru was back into nothing. It was black again, and he couldn’t move his body. Back to square one, maybe he reset the game on accident. Maybe, this was the loading screen. Itaru wondered how he got out of it the first time. Was he lying down? Which position was he even in? Was this just his mind?

Part of the black parted, and Itaru couldn’t do anything as he watched the black curtains reveal a pixelated screen. Without warning, Itaru was sitting in the middle of his room. He was back. His clothes were messily thrown across the room. Empty packets of chips and crushed cans of energy drinks were piled in his trashcan. Multiple game titles were scattered around him as he sat, a controller in his hand. The screen was off, now.

It was a dream? Itaru stood up, about to leave, before a light came from the TV.

The countdown on the screen reached zero as the console powered to life. Then, a fade in to a cutscene. Itaru slowly sat back down, eyes never leaving the screen as he saw your smiling face. There you were, happily talking about whatever was on your mind in the passenger side of his car. Cutscene him was holding onto the wheel, giving back answers that made you laugh even louder. On screen, the headlights illuminated the road as he turned on the corner, about to say something before a bright light consumed the room.

Itaru felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait!” Itaru felt himself manifesting, forming, growing back into his body. He was becoming something, he had no place in the realm of nothing anymore. Itaru reached out for the mysterious person behind him, but he was gone.

Itaru opened his eyes to a white light, just like the one on screen.

HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU IN MONTHS,

AND I THOUGHT I MIGHT CRY

BUT I’M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY

Itaru didn’t remember what happened. He stayed on schedule: doing physical therapy to get his legs back to walking (he was making a speedy recovery, apparently), eating hospital cafeteria food at the same time everyday (it was stale, he missed takeout), and staring at the white ceiling of his room, willing the light to come back.

Something happened, though. No one would tell him where you were, or why he was here in the first place. It’s been months since he last saw you... did the staff not allow visits between patients? Whenever he asked for you by name, they had no idea. It was like you input a different character name or something.

Itaru didn’t like this video game. It was too reptitive. The faces were too realistic. Everything about this simulation was breaking the fourth wall.

Characters didn’t call him Taruchi, the name he always put in when asked. They called him Chigasaki Itaru, his full name. He didn’t know why he put his entire name, he didn’t remember when he even did that. I guess anything for the immersion, right?

What day was it? What were his missions and goals? Did he have a list? Itaru glanced around his room to see if there were any options, but it was the same blank slate as always. Did you see this, too? Were you playing as well? Did you like the game?

Maybe, the purpose was to get his main character back to full health. His injuries were serious, it was lucky he could even walk again. Itaru tried to dig in his memory for the prologue, but came up with nothing. Just his dark room with a paused scene. How could he fully play the game if he didn’t understand what was going on?

That night, Itaru watched as his nurse gave him the sleeping pill again. It was like this for a while, Itaru thought maybe taking the drug would level him up or something. Itaru put the pill in his mouth and lodged it to the side, feeling accomplished when the nurse didn’t even bother checking since he always did. Maybe, he was going to advance to the next stage!

The lights switched off. Itaru closed his eyes. Then, a light flashed.

Itaru opened his eyes, seeing the same screen from months before. He was standing alone again in his room at the Mankai dorms, but it was perfectly clean and he was in the center of it all. The door was blocked off and the console was still on. Itaru stopped, looking down at his design this time. He wasn’t wearing his character’s usual hospital gown, but a familiar outfit.

Itaru didn’t press any buttons this time before the countdown began again, beeping every number until it reached zero. Itaru sat back down again to watch the cutscene before he saw a leather jacket out of the corner of the frame. Itaru compared the outfit on screen with his and proudly whispered a quick “yes!” under his breath. Him and the cutscene character had the same clothes, he was going somewhere!

Cutscene Itaru wore a leather jacket, vivid purple dress shirt, and black tie. His red eyes were somewhat focused on the empty street, and his smile was one for the ages. He looked, happy. Content. Like, this was the happiest moment of his life.

You appeared and Itaru wondered how the game producers designed the characters to look like you two so well. This time, Itaru could hear the audio from the scene as it repeated and rewinded, starting back at you talking.

“Come on, did we have to go out this late to buy some video game you could have pre-ordered?” You complained, but held a teasing smile as you jokingly punched Cutscene Itaru’s arm. He nudged you back, eyes glancing back at you with such love that Itaru didn’t know how they even managed to edit that in. It felt almost, real, in a way. Itaru had the urge to take off his jacket for a moment.

“First of all, it’s your favorite video game series. I wasn’t going to let you miss out on the experience of being the first in line for a release.” Cutscene Itaru reminded you, hearing your laugh out of frame as he tapped his fingers against the wheel. The scene changed its angle, going out to show the car driving in the dark. A subtitle appeared: 5 A.M.

“Secondly, I have an even bigger surprise waiting for you~” Cutscene Itaru teased as you smacked his arm again, impatient for whatever he was planning. Cutscene Itaru casually turned, about to come around on a corner before the scene paused at the same time it did last time.

Itaru groaned, rubbing his temples as he tried to find out what just happened. He leaned back into his beanbag, dropping the controller onto the ground with a thud as he felt a migraine coming on. It was like, he knew what was going to happen next but he didn’t know how to find out.

Itaru opened his eyes. The white light was blinding and his nurse was by his side with morning breakfast. He was back in the hospital.

“Good morning, Itaru.”

“Call me Taruchi.”

A beat of silence then the same thin–lipped smile from before never left her face. Did she always do that?

“Good morning, Itaru.”

I SAW YOU IN A DREAM, YOU CAME TO ME

YOU WERE THE SWEETEST APPARATION,

SUCH A PRETTY VISION

Itaru skipped his medication again. No one suspected a thing, he was doing something right. Itaru wanted to finish this game and get the hell out. It’s been so long, Itaru forgot when he started playing. What was it even called? Why’d he buy this stupid stimulation?

Itaru was in the same position as before, against his beanbag with the controller by his side. The screen was still loading, and the place was clean like before. But, the sheets weren’t made. The bed was obviously slept in. Itaru didn’t remember taking a rest in his room, was someone else here? The door was open a crack, Itaru went up to close it.

It was difficult, adjusting to a body with impaired legs. Itaru always wondered what happened to his character and if he would genuinely recover. It’s been such a long time, Itaru missed having a functional body. How many days of work has he missed? Where was everyone else? Didn’t they wonder what happened? What was he doing?

Itaru went to go sit back down, grunting since his legs weren’t what they used to be. Picking up the controller, Itaru furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the buttons. There was only one blinking, the “A” button. Guess he couldn’t fight with what the developers wanted. Itaru pressed the button. The loading screen went away, the cutscene kept going.

You grinned, distracting him with your happiness as you rested your hand against his forearm. “A surprise?” You wondered out loud, and Cutscene Itaru nodded, mimicking closing his lips and throwing away the key. You said something about him being no fun. You leaned back into your seat, moving your hand up to his and holding it gently. Cutscene Itaru squeezed your hand back, clearly on cloud nine. He was about to open his mouth before the white light entered again.

“Shit! I can’t wake up now!” Itaru complained, shutting his eyes. But, he stayed the same. He was sitting in his bedroom before he heard a deafening crash and haunting scream from the speakers. Itaru warily opened his eyes, it looked like the scene was in reverse. Itaru saw a car flipped upside down. The engine caught on fire. The piercing cry of an ambulance siren ruined the stillness of the night. Someone was holding onto Cutscene Itaru, who was glassy–eyed and blank. He wasn’t breathing, but his hand was still in yours.

Then, Itaru saw you. You were tightly holding onto his hand even though there was so much blood. The scene was awful, but he couldn’t look away. Cutscene Itaru’s legs were bent out of shape, his skin was covered in scars. Itaru subconsciously ran his fingers across the scar around his calf, watching the same one on screen get made as Cutscene Itaru’s leg was stuck under the door.

You two were seperated, never to be seen together again. Itaru caught a glimpse of something glittering in the firefighter’s hands as he was reporting what happened to the police officer running out of his patrol car. It was... a ring. And it was that game you loved so much, he did pre–order it.

Then, everything came back all at once. He wanted to propose that night, pretend he was taking you to some video game store when he had a whole evening planned. He was going to gift you the game, surprise you and when you were about to say this evening couldn’t get any better, he was about to get down on one knee. It was going to be a night secluded on the mountains, a spot set up at the edge where you two could see the whole city. It was going to be perfect, you were going to say yes.

Itaru was going to marry you.

Before Itaru could do anything, the scene ended as an oxygen mask was shoved onto his face and his stretcher was inside the back of an ambulance.

Cutscene Itaru seemed to look directly into the camera, the same pair of eyes staring back into Itaru’s. They were the same person, that was him.

“Where are they?”

Someone sat down next to him, setting their chin on their knees as they pulled their legs up. They remained silent, looking forward at the finished cutscene. No credits, the game wasn’t done yet. Itaru couldn’t bring himself to see who it was, taking in a shaky breath before they placed their hand on his forearm. Then, his hand. He felt himself squeeze back.

“You have to end this game, Itaru.” You said.

Itaru closed his eyes, and he was back in his hospital room. The same nurse was sitting by his bedside, holding breakfast. She performed the same smile she was programmed to.

“Good morning, Itaru.”

Itaru put his hands together, wanting to feel the last of your touch. His ring finger was empty and bare. He knew what happened now.

But, Itaru blinked. Once. Twice.

He looked around, seeing an unfamilar nurse. Where was he? Where were you?

THERE WAS NO REASON, NO EXPLANATION

THE PERFECT HALLUCINATION

Itaru was in a video game store, this time. He was in front of a display, hundreds of games at his disposal as he rapidly looked around. It was just him, alone again. Was this the final stage? He’s been playing for so long, he already unlocked the backstory. Itaru wanted to go home.

Reading the titles, Itaru flipped through them but none of it made any sense. They were just his name with the subheading, “Day #” with numbers going all the way up to 8,395. It didn’t make any sense, what kind of faulty game was this? Itaru left the stand, searching around the store but the rest of the games were the same. Itaru was about to give up before he noticed the same screen at the front counter, the same controller’s “A” button blinking.

Itaru went over and saw a disc was popped out. It was labelled: What Could Have Been. Itaru pushed it back in, and pressed the button. He felt like it was the end, he was reaching the conclusion. The last episode. As he was about to lean forward to watch, his head dropped. He closed his eyes, and suddenly he was on a mountain. It was night time. His legs didn’t hurt that bad; he felt younger, stronger, better. Who was he this time?

You came out of no where, staring at the city lights at night on a mountain cliff. The distant city seemed so small, like you two were on top of the world and urbanization was insignificant. The wind ruined your hair, but you looked so, dreamy. Itaru was breathless, confused, mesmerized, so many emotions at once. How were you here? Did he win the game? Was this it?

“I can’t believe I let you trick me! But, I can’t be too upset when I have the best game in the world!” You exclaimed, holding the game up in the air. Itaru couldn’t move, even though he had full control this time. What did he have to say? What was he supposed to do?

You sighed, looking out to the horizon again. You were so content, so happy, so real. You smiled, like everything was okay in the universe.

“Life can’t get any better than this.”

Itaru put his hand in his jacket pocket and felt something cold. Something metallic. Something, that was calling his name. Itaru slowly pulled it out, seeing a ring gripped tightly in his shaking fingers. This was it. The game wanted him to propose, this was what his character was meant to do.

But, he was too late. Suddenly, Itaru woke up and was back in the video game store. The “A” button still blinking. The screen loading. This time, you were standing behind the counter with the same clothes you had the day of the accident.

You didn’t look happy with him.

ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END,

BUT I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT LAST

BUT YOU CAME AND LEFT SO FAST

“Itaru, what are you doing?” You asked, but your tone was so sad, so exhausted, so tired. You looked like you’ve been here forever, like you wanted to leave. Itaru didn’t understand, were you here this entire time? Why couldn’t he save you?

“How...” Itaru started but you shook your head, holding your finger up as if you couldn’t bear to hear his voice. Itaru wanted to take your hand and tell you it was okay, but it wasn’t.

“Itaru, you have to stop playing this game. Finish the scene, and you’re done.” You ordered, your existence flickering like the overhead lights. You seemed translucent, like you were here and somewhere else. Where were you?

Itaru closed his eyes again and he was on the mountain. You said your lines just like before, holding the game up in the air as you smiled, gazing out at the horizon.

“Life can’t get better than this.”

Itaru pulled the ring out, knowing this was he was meant to do. How did the game know he wanted to propose? Why did it feel so real?

AND WHEN I’M AWAKE, I CAN’T SWITCH OFF

IT ISN’T THE SAME, BUT IT IS ENOUGH

Itaru was about to say your name, but he stopped himself. Itaru looked down at his clothes. He was wearing his hospital gown. He was older. He was the same person he is now. You looked at him, and you smiled even though the tears in your eyes were evident. You saw him.

This, this was enough. Itaru got down on one knee, on the verge of tears himself as he took in the sight of your face. Something told him, he’d never see you again after this.

Itaru held the ring out and you started crying, saying yes over and over again. He put it on your left ring finger and held your hand, squeezing it.

In the video game store, Itaru smiled as tears streamed down his face. This was the happiest he’s been in months. You were his partner for life. You said yes, you two were going to get married.

You watched him behind the desk, struggling to maintain your composure as you stared at the ring that appeared on your left ring finger. You knew you two couldn’t get married, at least, not in this game.

Your hand moved to the power button.

I SAW YOU IN A DREAM,

THEN IT CAME TO AN END

I WONDER IF YOU’LL COME AND VISIT ME AGAIN

YOU’RE TAKING YOUR TIME TO REAPPEAR

Itaru hugged you close, his arms holding you tightly as he breathed you in. This, was enough.

“I love you.” Itaru whispered, both in the scene and in the video game store. You paused, staring at the outlet and back to the love of your life.

“I love you, too.” You responded, holding his hand one last time.

You pulled the plug.

I’M STARTING TO BELIEVE THAT WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME,

YOU JUST DON’T HEAR ME ANYMORE

AND I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN’T EVEN TRY

IT’S A WASTE OF TIME

Itaru woke up. He remembered everything.

You stopped playing the game.

A long, long, time ago.

#chigasaki itaru #itaru chigasaki #a3! act! addict! actors! #a3! #act! addict! actors! #a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3! #mankai company #spring troupe #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #itaru x reader #a3! itaru #a3 itaru

[sweetlittlevampire]

is this reincarnation au youve been talking about really good? ive read a few already, how does it stand out?

Hi Nonnie!

First of all - I have no idea how long you’ve been waiting for this reply. Apparently your ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few hours, but I’ve received no notification of it (tumblr at its finest again), and I just discovered it because I clicked on the inbox icon at random. Sorry about the delay!  😅

The fic we’re talking about is the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by @huacheng-zhu , for those of you who are curious. The description reads:

Wei Wuxian died twice.

Hundreds of years later, Wei Ying, a young artist in search of escape and inspiration comes to Gusu. There, he meets a mysterious recluse—a mysterious recluse who, unbeknownst to Wei Ying, has been waiting for him for a long, long time.

So this is, indeed, a reincarnation AU.  And yes, you may consider this an extensive fic rec.

Now, let me preface this by saying that this is my first reincarnation AU. Which is...weird, considering just how many are floating around out there, and I am planning on reading a few more.

Also yes, I do consider it to be really good, and I will elaborate as to why in a moment (and will try to do so without spoiling it too much, or at least not more than I already did, oops! Sorry, @huacheng-zhu !). However I also want you to keep in mind that, while I absolutely adore it, and I know other people who also do, doesn’t mean that you will automatically love it as much. You might find it tacky, or boring, or even just a non-creative way of using the trope, I don’t even know. And that’s okay! Tastes and preferences vary; without this fact we wouldn’t have such an amazing plethora of varied fan content out there for us to enjoy.

So what is it about this fic that makes me go  😍 😍 😍?

The world & the pacing. I consider it to be a slow fic for my standards, and I’ve enountered a few slow fics that had me yawning after a while. However it goes hand in hand with the world it is set in. We meet Wei Ying in a modern Gusu. He’s an artist and has his cameras and sketchbook with him, and he wanders about trying to capture different things: from beautiful motifs to a certain feeling trapped on celluloid. It’s nothing that comes fast, and he is enjoying himself. It fits. Lan Wangji lives alone in a house in the woods, a bit up the mountain, with only his rabbits as company. He rarely allows visitors, so his little bubble of the world is calm and slow as well. It’s - soothing? In a way? Like, imagine you’re sitting on a bench in a parc on a warm summer day. You hear a body of water nearby, a gentle breeze rustles the leaves of the trees around you, and the ground is dappled by sunlight falling through the tree branches. You know when you return home, there will be someone you love, and who loves you, waiting for you. That’s what this fic feels like to me. Someone described it as walking through a Ghibli movie, and they’re not wrong.

The bittersweetness and melancholy. Listen. So this is a reincarnation AU - Wei Wuxian has been reincarnated as Wei Ying. Lan Wangji has not. It becomes clear very fast that Lan Wangji has indeed cultivated to immortality, and is patiently waiting for his Wei Ying to return to him, in each and everyone of his lifetimes. Which - he’s not even sure if it will ever happen. What if Wei Ying gets reincarnated as a completely different person? In a completely different place? What if their paths never cross? What if Wei Ying never remembers? What if he gets reincarnated as someone who won’t be able to love, or even like Lan Wangji again? And in spite of what the fic description says, one can’t help but wonder: How often has Lan Wangji gone through the cycle of waiting for his love, finding him, and having to witness him die again, only for the cycle to begin anew? How long has he been suffering like that? How long and often will he be able to take it before he breaks for good? I’m sure this is explored in many reincarnation AUs out there, but the way this fic handles it is very beautiful, very gentle...which brings me to

The tenderness. Like - we know Wangxian. We know they can be cuddly and sweet, but when it comes to Everyday Business (you know what I mean), they usually get pretty wild. First of all, the physical love scene is implied here. There’s a fade to black. We know it happens, and it fits. Honestly though, a very intense cuddle session would have also fit the bill, but I digress. What I am trying to say is: We witness Wei Ying fall for this stranger with his white and pastel blue clothes and guqin and horde of bunnies, and while he falls fast, he also falls gently. It’s not like a “BOOM - Congratulations, you’re in love now!”. To me, it felt more as if Wei Ying had realised it gradually, slowly - he’s still very much Wei Ying, and he’s very much in character, but this is an alternative universe. He’s been raised differently and has different life experiences, so sometimes he reacts accordingly, rather than what we’re used of him. And it fits, it never feels off to me in this fic. Of course, Lan Wangji never fell out of love, but the way in which he treats Wei Ying is so gentle and tender it almost hurts. When you finally get to the love scene, it’s - they’ve been pining and longing, yes, but it’s one of the most emotional get-together scenes I’ve ever read. It’s so full of happiness and fluttering hearts and trembling fingers and tears, but not in a bad way, They are gentle with each other, everything is calm and full of whispers and held breaths and silent exhales, full of tenderness, absolutely loving. It’s gorgeous, and I am feeling warm and tearing up at the same time just thinking about it.

There is mention of a lesbian couple and a badass non-binary OC. I love all of them, they’re super cool!

There are cats.

There is one chapter left of the story, yet to be published, and I’m gonna be honest: I am so sad to let it go. Absolutely devastated. I am pretty sure I am going to reread this several times, simply because I don’t wanna leave this world behind just yet, and how it makes me feel. But I know from own experience with drawing that working on the same project for a long time can be really really draining, and I can understand that @huacheng-zhu is itching for a break from it, for something new and fresh. All I can do is say Thank You for the joy their story is bringing me over and over again.

This got really long; I hope this answers your question, Anon! I did ramble a lot though; sorry about that!

#Anonymous #Reply #Wangxian #Fic Rec #MDZS #The Untamed #Reincarnation AU

[abdicatedarchive]

Cherish’s House Party || Chase and Savvy

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: cherish’s house party // 15th of january.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x savvy ( @savvy-cassidy ).

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: underage drinking.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: two cheerleaders playing ping pong and having a good time gossiping

Chase had come over to find beer pong in the kitchen and no one to play with until he saw Savvy. "Savvy, I challenge you to a game of pong" he said as he pulled her over to the table lightly. "That is if you can take the heat" Chase teased as he racked up the cups. Gabrielle was off doing something, and he always enjoyed talking to Savannah. Maybe he would even hear some good gossip out of it. 

Savvy was, as usual, sipping on her drink and mingling around the party. That is, until she was ushered over to the beer pong table. "when have i ever not been able to take the heat?" she scoffed and finished off the drink in her head. "good thing i get better at this game the more i drink," the brunette was already a bit tipsy. 

"I mean that's just the science behind it" said Chase laughing a little, "once you have double vision then you get two cups at once" he joked. Once the cups were racked he grabbed two balls and washed them off in the sink. "Ladies first" he said as he handed her the ping pong balls and went to his side of the table. "So tell me, have you seen anything interesting at the party so far?" Chase asked.

"i think i just try harder when my vision is blurry so i really work twice as hard on trying to have good aim," she commented with a laugh. "how polite of you. not too many of the males around here have manners," she joked. taking the ball she took her shot, seeing it bounce off of one of the rims. "off to a great start. hm. ive been in two bedrooms and neither were occupied at the time i stumbled upon them, i thought that was pretty interesting because that never happens. also, staci poured a full beer down sara's shirt when she told her to be careful not to spill it."

"Well, I was in the cheer chat during the men suck discussion, so I'm on my best behavior" he said sarcastically, he didn't mind. Especially when it came to all the girl's boyfriends being kind of shit. There had been a lot of newly single moments recently on the team in general. He was happy with his girlfriend so hating on men was definitely an option, it kept him in line with his own relationship. Chase caught the ball when it bounced off the rim and held it while he waited for her to throw again. "Well Sara had it coming with that comment, and you never tell someone with a full cup to do anything" he joked, "Staci's got low impulse control that's for sure". "to be fair, i think we all have our moments of sucking so dont worry it isn't just men," although they did seem to have far more moments, but that was beside the point and she didn't feel the need to bring it up. on her next attempt, she sank the ball, "yesss hopefully now im getting somewhere. and you're right on both of those counts. what about you what interesting things have you seen thus far?"  Chase took the ball out of the cup and chugged the whole thing. "Well" he said catching his breath, "I saw one guy constantly changing rooms, so I investigated a little" he said throwing his first ball and it sinking into the cup. "And it turns out he is talking to two girls at this party, and I am 30% sure they are texting each other about this cute mystery guy that they're talking to" Chase said as he tried the other ball and missed. "So I cannot wait to see how that turns out"  Savvy lifted her brows as he took a breath, knowing that whatever he was about to say was probably quite the story. Lifting up the cup, she took out the ball and chugged the liquid, something a good friend of hers had taught her to do well over the years. "dont they know that the circles around here are small? its like we've all slept with each other by association."

"Everybody is sleeping with everybody" said Chase letting a small laugh fall from his lips as he waited for her to throw again. "Speaking of, who is your newest conquest? I have to live vicariously through others now that I'm back with Gabrielle" he said, intrigued to know what the girl was up to. She was one of the most beautiful girls in school, it only made sense that she had guys at her beck and call.  "That is putting it lightly," she chuckled, setting down the now empty cup and setting up her next shot. it circled the rim of the cup a couple of times before finally sinking inside. "conquest? you mean like, have i hooked up with anyone tonight? chase. im a lady. you think i do that kind of thing at a party where there are loads of people who could walk in at any moment?" the girl was rambling playfully before eventually answering, "jet." mostly because everyone likely already knew anyway, it happened at most parties. it was like knowing that someone was going to end up throwing up in the bushes, jet and savvy were going to hook up. "how is that going?"  "A lady never tells" said Chase, knowing full well that there was always Jet. He was hoping there was maybe some variety in there, but Jet was ... well he was kinda it. He was that guy in town for sure. "Oh that's still going?" he said with a smile, "He is super hot, and I heard he's very good in bed. Good for you" Chase replied. Chase chugged the cup and put it to the side before continuing. "It's going great, it's a race right now to see who is the drunker one and who is in charge of getting us home. I'm hoping she's the responsible one tonight, but who is to say at this rate. She could be off taking shots with Juliette right now, and they're both so tiny they'll be on the floor in minutes" the boy said with a laugh.  "We have a nice arrangement. It's very convenient. Plus, I wont have to worry I won't get off, which is definitely a big plus. Like an old, yet reliable habit." Savvy had to laugh at her own description, the alcohol definitely making her sound a little ridiculous. "Maybe someone else will get a turn, i just dont really want it to be when i have beer goggles, because ew." Crinkling her nose at the thought she shook her head. "so who do you think is winning? how drunk are you?"  "I get that, what you know is better than something new. And if it works for you, then why bother with anything else" said Chase, completely understanding. That was something about being with Gabrielle that he loved, it was always good because they had been at it for so long. "She only drinks liquor so probably her, but it has been me before and I am working my hardest at it" said Chase laughing a little, he didn't mind taking care of her at the end of the night. It was fun when she took care of him though. "Knowing her, it's who she is with. She can either drink a lot because she's having a really good time or a really bad time. But if it's in between she won't be drunk at all ... just a little buzzed"  “Something new can be exciting, if it’s the right something new,” Sav pointed out with a shrug. “It is always nice to have a safe option though too.” Because who didn’t like options. “Yikes she could be going pretty hard right now. So that will not be a fun morning for her. “  "It can be, but I am a sucker for the classics. Only one girl out there for me" said Chase with a small smile. He was soft for Gabrielle like that, sure he would be having a great deal more fun as a single guy at this school, but there was nothing that beat to comfort of being loved. "She'll be fine. No matter what I'll make her breakfast, even if I'm about to yak" said the boy. 

“Oh isn’t that just adorable,” to be fair, there was a time when Savvy may have thought the same thing, when she was dating someone she liked to think it would be for the long haul but that was rarely the case. “Breakfast too? Damn you really are one of the good ones.”  "Yeah the perks of her family taking me in, we get to spend every morning together no matter what rooms we sleep in" said Chase with a proud smile. He also treated her very well, just going above and beyond whenever he could. It made him feel like he was repaying a debt to her family. "What do your mornings with Jet look like? Or is it purely a party affair?" he asked, curious to know more.  “That is a pretty unique situation so I guess you should enjoy it as long as possible because you lucked out there. Do they let you stay in the same room though?” Sav was glad that her friend was happy though it seemed to be going well and that’s what was most important. Her brows raised at his question “we usually have each other for breakfast,” she answered as if it was nonchalant. “And then go out for pancakes because were fucking starving.”  "Yeah, I am milking it as much as physically possible" said Chase in all earnesty. He was certain they would not separate for college, but if they didn't get into the right schools then they would be screwed. Having a child together, even though it was a secret bonded them past the usual high school relationship, but it was hard to explain that to anyone because he couldn't. "That's a hearty breakfast, lots of vitamin d in that one" Chase joked, proud of himself for that one. "Pancakes is always a good dessert after a hearty breakfast"  “I can’t say that I blame you, I think most people would do the same thing. But hey im glad that it works out for you and you’re both happy with it, that’s honestly all that matters,” the girl nodded with a shrug. She couldn’t help but chuckle, “vitamin d, good joke. Best of the night so far. But agreed pancakes are the best. A nice way to refuel.”  "You can tell who at this school has a major vitamin d deficiency" said Chase with a small chuckle as well. There were a lot of people who just needed some kind of release, any kind. Whether it was a boxing class or getting laid, people needed to do something. 

Savvy couldn’t help but chuckle and nod in agreement, “you are correct about that, I wish them all the best, honestly. Might help some of their piss poor attitudes.” "I think that might be our big ticket to victory this cheer season" said Chase feeling the alcohol start to hit him. He hated to admit it, but a lot like his girlfriend he was a light weight. 

"everyone getting laid? you might be on to something with that," she chuckled and nodded in agreement, "you down for the count on this game, or what? i can already see your eyes getting glassy, you're sucha lightweight," she teased him.  "I did some shots earlier, but I think it's all kicking in now" said Chase, the room was a little spinny. "All I am is bone and muscle, there's nothing to absorb the alcohol" he said to defend himself, but it was the honest reason he couldn't handle too much to drink.

#chasexsavvy #threads || savvy and chase #savvy and chase || 001

[callunavulgari]

“Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together.”

Heather’s Top 50 Songs of 2019!

dark night — philip sheppard // curse of the i-5 corridor — neko case // way down we go — kaleo // almost — hozier // dancing in a room — ezi // epic (pt ii) — anais mitchell & justin vernon // spanish sahara — foals // obstacles — syd matters // tom thumb — bitter ruin // wolves of the revolution — the arcadian wild // epic (pt iii) — anais mitchell, justin vernon // the spine — darren korb & ashley barrett // don’t think twice — hikaru utada // face my fears — hikaru utada // waves — chloe moriondo // ashes — bear mccreary // wake up, moving on — kevin penkin // paper boats — darren korb & ashley barrett // call off your ghost — dessa // power over me — dermot kennedy // a future for the krogan — christopher lennertz // mine — bazzi // bite — charlie cunningham // wait for me — andre de shields // birds — imagine dragons & elisa // crazy — patsy cline //  bury a friend — billie eilish // the seed — aurora // eleventh dimension — julian casablancas // sunflower — post malone // what’s up danger — blackway, black caviar // bad guy — billie eilish // elevate — dj khalil // must’ve been — chromeo // dark matter — les friction // lark of my heart — eliza rickman // dancing on my own — robyn //  hungover in the city of dust — autoheart // season of the witch — lana del rey // bird song — juniper vale // paradise valley — honey & the sting // my hallelujah — autoheart // furthest star — dirt poor robins // play dirty — kevin mcallister // it’s quiet uptown — kelly clarkson // pas de deux — michael abels // i got 5 on it — michael abels, luniz, mi // one day more — les mis cast // into the unknown — idina menzel, aurora // show yourself — idina menzel & evan rachel wood

short version | long version | youtube | spotify unwrapped

long version will lead you to the 165 song, 10 hour and 34 minute playlist which i’ve been slowly adding to since january. short version will lead you to what you see here. youtube will lead you to the playlist you see here but... wait for it... on youtube. mostly because i know not everyone has spotify. spotify unwrapped will lead you to a mixture of the long and the short version, which is pretty bloated with austin wintory songs because those are what i listen to when i write or read usually.

the long version is much improved in length from last year, which was 261 songs and 17 hours, but that’s mostly because august through december i was pretty bad at keeping track of the music that caught my attention. whoops.

and under the cut is me ranting about music, like usual. enjoy!

i. dark night || philip sheppard *instrumental*

This was my absolute favorite from the Detroit: Become Human soundtrack. I tended to prefer Kara’s songs most because they were gorgeous and haunting and just plain fantastic. Connor’s songs were mostly listened to while writing for the fandom, but Kara’s songs were what I kept coming back to. ii. curse of the i-5 corridor || neko case So I left home and faked my ID I fucked every man that I wanted to be

Sometime in January, I fell in love with eighteen wheels on an uphill climb, which was a 91k hank/connor wip by blackeyedblonde. Hank’s a trucker. Connor occasionally dabbles in sex work to keep himself alive and moving. But like, it’s so much more than that? Anyway, at some point the author linked to this song. I think it may have been on tumblr, but I fell in love with it and neko case.

iii. way down we go || kaleo Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

Speaking of Detroit: Become Human (sensing a theme?), this fanvideo is one of my favorite things in the world. I had it and a couple other fantastic videos like it playing in the background while writing for the fandom. This video, in fact, is what finally made me go in search of the game. iv. almost (sweet music) || hozier The same kind of music haunts her bedroom I'm almost me again, she's almost you Wasteland, Baby was a thing that happened to me. Which would have already been enough to get it on this list, but I also listened to it on repeat while writing my first DBH fic. v. dancing in a room || ezi I know you notice, notice me I might be broken but it's not showing It's how I'm copin', copin' I don’t actually remember where this one came from. I know that sometime when March is still a bit cold, I listened to a playlist on spotify that I can’t find for the life of me. It had a lot of the songs that are about to come up on it, and before I started exclusively listening to audiobooks while I got ready for work in the morning, I listened to random fantastic playlists. vi. epic (pt ii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon And suddenly Hades was only a man with a taste of nectar upon his lips

Hadestown was also a thing that happened to me. This song makes me fucking weak. All of the lyrics are great, the whole song is gorgeous and haunting and so perfect it hurts, but those lyrics above are just *chefs kiss* vii. spanish sahara || foals Forget the horror here Leave it all down here It's future rust and it's future dust

Sometime during the spring, I played Life Is Strange and had a million and one feelings. I played both options for the ending and each one was gut wrenching in its own way. I think I still prefer the one where Chloe lives, but this song has literally haunted me ever since.

viii. obstacles || syd matters Someday we will foresee obstacles Through the blizzard, through the blizzard And this is the song that plays if you make the other choice. Again, SUPER TRAGIC, but also you know. You get to keep your girlfriend. ix. tom thumb || bitter ruin And I know I'll be burnt, but I can stand a flame or two to catch you

This was one of the songs that I discovered on the mysterious spotify playlist! Something I’d forgotten: I discovered Hadestown off of that playlist. Thanks, mystery playlist. You gave me all the ear worms. x. wolves of the revolution || the arcadian wild You're trapped inside of your own heart It's a spectators sport, just play your part You guessed it - from the mystery playlist. They’re all very reminiscent of the Hadestown soundtrack. Vaguely eerie, kind of haunting, a lot beautiful. Makes you feel like you’re a forest creature living on the edge of the swamp. You know: the aesthetic. xi. epic (pt iii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon Where is the treasure inside your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his hat in his hands? Who stands in the garden with nothing to lose I thought about only including this one instead of including part 2, but in the end I loved both too much to choose. Hadestown, man. I hope it comes to Ohio at some point in the near future. xii.  the spine || darren korb & ashley barrett Fingers tied themselves in knots around the heart It beats in time I see the spine of the world

I have never actually played Transistor, which is fucking tragic because I listened to basically the entire soundtrack over and over again for the entire year. There’s at least one more song from the game on this list, but it is really wonderful. Haunting vocals, perfect for writing or reading or driving.  xiii. don’t think twice || hikaru utada I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed It'd take this long, it'd take this long Hi, I played Kingdom Hearts 3 this year. And I cried so fucking much. I had some issues with the game, namely how the ending was such a clusterfuck of boss fight after boss fight and emotional character arc resolutions so it all felt kind of rushed? But the gameplay was superb, the selfie thing was ingenious, and I did cry at least six different times while I was stressing my way through fighting boss fights with blurry eyes. xiv. face my fears || hikaru utada Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears Won't be long, won't be long, I'm almost here Watch me cry all my tears

So like, if you care at all you’ve probably already seen it, but the opening cutscene of KH3 was to Face My Fears, and I’m gonna be real honest here - I didn’t like it at first. I moaned and groaned about Skrillex and how it was nothing like Simple and Clean or Passion/Sanctuary. But it grew on me to the point that it was actually my most listened to song this year. Watch me cry all my tears, indeed. xv. waves || chloe moriondo Make me into more than a goner Perhaps a little bit stronger Thicker skin, less needy, And maybe to not bruise so damn easily, but you can't

I don’t remember where I found this song either? Maybe mystery playlist but probably not. Either way, it’s pretty and uh, I too want to slow the world down. xvi. ashes || bear mccreary -instrumental- Man, oh man, let’s talk about how good of a game God of War was. It was so good, guys. The game play was excellent, the world was gorgeous, and the storyline was interesting. And the music went so, so hard. Between Horizon Zero Dawn and the new God of War, I have basically been ruined for all other games. Also, dad protagonists, am I right? xvii. wake up, moving on || kevin penkin -instrumental-

Did not actually realize this was part of a soundtrack to a game? But it’s very lilty. Has that French quirky romcom vibe to it and I listened to the crap out of it in early summer. xviii. paper boats || darren korb & ashley barrett The river always finds the sea So helplessly Like you find me

Another Transistor song. I really love Ashley Barrett’s voice. I should probably at some point play the game. xix. call off your ghost || dessa I hope she makes you happy It's just a lot to ask to watch your future walking past me

This song played during one of the weather segments of Welcome to Night Vale and made me remember how much I absolutely adore Dessa. Her voice is fantastic and I love the way that her songs flow. Also, this song gives me personal feels. xx. power over me || dermot kennedy I wanna be king in your story I wanna know who you are I want your heart to beat for me I have absolutely no idea where I heard this one. It might have been playing on the radio while I was driving somewhere? I played it a lot during the summer.  xxi. a future for the krogan || christopher lennertz -instrumental- It’s been a while since I played Mass Effect, but this song came up on a writing playlist and I have been listening to it ever since.

xxii. mine || bazzi Running circles 'round my mind Even when it's rainy all you ever do is shine

Shrug emoji. 

xxiii. bite || charlie cunningham Stone cold faces let you keep you poisoning your blood Cut you open then you'll see poison in your blood

Also shrug emoji? Most of the time when I’m doing these there’s fandom connatations to half the songs, but these year I wasn’t heavily invested in a whole lot of fandoms so these are mostly just songs I listened to while I was a) driving, b) in the shower, or c) while reading.

xxiv. wait for me || andre de shields Ain't no compass, brother, there ain't no map Just a telephone wire and the railroad track Keep on walking and you don't look back

And here’s the last Hadestown song on the list. It’s just... really good, okay. Really, really good. xxv. birds || imagine dragons & elisa Seasons, they will change Life will make you grow Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry

I think there’s been an Imagine Dragons song on here every year since they came out with Radioactive. This is the only song of theirs I heard this year, but pairing their voice with Elisa’s was fucking genius because this song makes me feel the chorus in my soul. xxvi. crazy || patsy cline You'd love me as long as you wanted And then some day You'd leave me for somebody new I was at a bar, and my friend has just announced that he was getting married to his girlfriend of ten years in Vegas, on a ferris wheel, by an Elvis impersonator. We started listening to Elvis songs to figure out what he’d play, and then we got distracted listening to a bunch of old love songs. This one is more heartbreak than love, but I’ve always loved Patsy’s voice. xxvii. bury a friend || billie eilish Bury a friend, try to wake up

I was really slow to the Billie Eilish train. One of my friends recommended her music and it’s just so chaotic and fantastic that I can’t believe I didn’t fall for it earlier. This song in particular was a Billy Hargrove song for a while.

xxviii. the seed || aurora Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer Aurora’s got one of those truly lovely voices. Also I like songs about how the earth should eat humanity.

xxix.  eleventh dimension || julian casablancas 'Cause no one really cares or wonders why anymore Oh, I got music, coming out of my hands and feet and kisses

Back in 2011, when I was still watching Doctor Who, someone made this video which blew my little heart away. I rediscovered this song while we were driving back to Ohio from our annual beach trip and managed to get everyone in the car hooked on it for weeks afterwards.

xxx. sunflower || post malone You're a sunflower I think your love would be too much

Into the Spiderverse! Was so! Good! 

xxxi. what’s up danger || blackway, black caviar I like it all on the edge just like you, ayy I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em

So like, that scene, right? The one that had everyone losing their collective shit? I saw gifs before I watched the movie, and goddamn, it lived up to every single expectation I ever had. I made Nick watch it with me, and he groaned a lot because honestly he is not the biggest fan of super hero movies, but even he admitted that it was the best damn Spiderman movie we’d ever seen. It was powerful and clever and heartwarming and funny and the music and animation were both fan-freaking-tastic.

xxxii. bad guy || billie eilish I'm the bad guy, duh Can you believe that I actually didn’t know about this video until @nijuukoo did art? I mean, I’d definitely heard it and liked it before hand, but the fucking video, man. That pic of Vanitas showering Ven in hearts is still the background of my desktop.(It would have been the one of him sitting on Ansem while he’s doing push ups, but it didn’t work with my screen)

xxxiii. elevate || dj khalil I jump off this building to save these civilians My strength and my honor is trusted by children I'm ready and willing to fight all these villains No chaos or killings, my style is so brilliant I really, really liked the music to Into the Spiderverse.

xxxiv. must’ve been || chromeo I must've been high when I met you Out of my mind when I decided to love you

There was a Harringrove fic that I read during the summer that made the connection between this song and modern AU Billy and Steve. I thought it was @lymricks but maybe not. Either way - I listened to this for like three weeks straight while reading about Billy and Steve flirting at the pool. Ha! Found it - you, through half-shut eyes by @brawlite.

xxxv. dark matter || les friction Bring me your soul, bring me your hate In my name you will create Bring me your fear, bring me your pain You will destroy in my name

There was an Outsider fanvid. I tripped over it.

xxxvi. lark of my heart || eliza rickman Lark of my heart - dance in the dark and say you love me Lark of my heart - right from the start and say you love me

This one was another that I found on a random playlist while I was reading and I just love the rhythm of the song. I sat right up and favorited that sucker before I lost it.

xxxvii. dancing on my own — robyn I'm just gonna dance all night I'm all messed up, I'm so outta line Stilettos on broken bottles I'm spinning around in circles Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So there was that tumblr post that went around a while back where a bunch of subway riders who just got back from a Robyn concert started singing while waiting for the train and I just. It makes me so fucking happy. Like, I remember the night I clicked on that video. I’d never heard the song before, but I didn’t need to because the level of fucking joy and unity in that video literally brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes, humans are fucking beautiful.

xxxviii. hungover in the city of dust || autoheart We’re hungover in the city of dust So let our minds run round in circles While we figure it all out

I really adore autoheart. They did Sailor Song, which was on my Top Songs post last year and honestly, according to the plays on spotify, probably should have still been on my list this year, but alas - this is the abridged version. Every song I’ve heard from them I’ve loved. The entire bridge makes me shiver, it’s just so wonderfully executed.

xxxix. season of the witch || lana del rey You've got to pick up every stitch, The rabbits running in the ditch, Oh no, must be the season of the witch In October I watched Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and it was super spooky and really great and probably one of the best movies I saw this year? But like, also this cover by Lana del Rey was the best damn thing about it. Someone made a witchy video that was great too but I can’t find it now. xl. bird song || juniper vale Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together

I really like Juniper Vale. I found them last year when I stumbled across their cover of Singing In The Rain, and they churn out some really quality music.

xli. paradise valley || honey & the sting So you'll have to hold me down Could you just hold me down build the levees higher This song was always going to make it to 2019′s list too. It’s just too damn good. Thank you, Wolf 359. You’ve given me a gift that is still giving three years later.

xlii. my hallelujah || autoheart Thought I found a new religion In you who was I kidding There's nowhere to go Except for under quarantine

More Autoheart! Just listen to that melody! That flow! 

xliii. furthest star || dirt poor robins We'll find our hiding place Clear across the Milky Way Beyond the galaxy On the furthest star that we see

This song reminds me a lot of Muse back in their early days. I was half-napping on the couch listening to, you guessed it, a random playlist on spotify, and I liked this song enough to surface from the edges of slumber to favorite it so I could find it again.

xliv. play dirty || kevin mcallister Would you get the Devil this dance? Would you be a part of his plans? Now you got some blood on your hands

There was a fanvid. It was good and basically caught me up on Preacher. The song is also really catchy.

xlv. it’s quiet uptown || kelly clarkson Look at where we are Look at where we started Last year, this was on my list because of an EOS 10 playlist. This year it’s on my list because I still fucking love it. Also I saw Hamilton this year and it was really phenomenal. I cannot get over how good it was.

xlvi. pas de deux || michael abels -instrumental- I watched Us in late October/early November and this entire sequence was really lovely and eerie and just all around fantastic. I loved the mirroring throughout the movie, and it all came together in this stunning confrontation.

xlvii. i got 5 on it || michael abels, luniz, mi I got five on it

Us had a really good soundtrack.

xlviii. one day more || les mis cast One more dawn One more day One day more!

About a month ago I got to see Les Mis in theater and I cried like six or seven times. That is not an exaggeration I was a fucking mess. As much as I’ve adored every musical I have seen up until this point, I have never had a musical affect me the way this one did. It was incredibly powerful and the experience was worth every damn cent.

xlix. into the unknown || idina menzel, aurora Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls

Like, I know it’s cool to hate on Frozen because it got so popular, but Idina Menzel is a queen with the voice of an angel and I’m sorry, but the movies were good. Also, Elsa is very, very pretty and this shit was very, very gay. 

l. show yourself || idina menzel & evan rachel wood Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more

Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Elsa gets all the best numbers. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, folks. Happy listening.

#heather says what #fanmixes #2019 #music makes the world go round #new year's memes

[blookmallow]

ive been wanting to play Smile For Me for so long and i finally caught it on sale when i actually have money im so hype for this 

this is PEAK aesthetic i cannot fucking WAIT 

this definitely feels like it was designed for VR, the “answer by nodding or shaking your head” thing is like. cute, definitely a unique feature, but also does Not work very well at least on a laptop trackpad so i frequently end up just standing there violently shaking around for like 30 seconds until it finally registers the response :’ | 

,,,thank you

I DONT SEE ANYTHING I DONT LIKE THIS 

IS IT THE LIGHT???? UH

i was absolutely expecting a jumpscare to happen here and im so glad it didnt but the fact that theres just nothing fucking there is such a more effective scare lmao 

whats habbening

,,,my bed is talking to me 

I FOUND A CLOWN HES VERY SAD BUT HES MY FRIEND 

YES

o....KAY APPARENTLY THIS GUY’S A VAMPIRE

i m laughing so hard i literally just realized his name is fucking “trencil varnnia” of course he’s a vampire. i got so hung up on ‘why is his name TRENCIL’ bc it sounded like pencil i didnt even notice the pun. im an idiot, news at 11 

i already solved this mystery before he even mentioned it to me lmao 

i like this kid he needs to chill a lil bit but i like him 

why is everything you say the weirdest shit ive ever heard 

i kept refusing to go to bed and habit did Not appreciate it 

i eventually got the same message twice though so it might just be a cycle rather than an escalating event, im not sure

honestly figured id get murdered eventually 

she changes her age every time i talk to her 

she also really wants to bully ronbo for no good reason so im not very fond of her :’  ) please leave him alone hes going through a lot right now 

im gettin some psychonauts vibes from this game and im not sure why, something in the art design or something ??

i cant figure out habit’s deal so far like... it doesn’t seem to just be “SMILE AND BE HAPPY OR ELSE :) :)” its like.... “don’t worry :) we’ll all be happy one day :) but not yet :) why rush?” and giving all this really really bad advice that actually encourages dwelling on negative memories and bad feelings/holding onto them and letting them fester 

my efforts to cheer people up seems to be threatening habit somehow, im not sure if he just doesnt actually want anyone to be happy and trapping them here forever because theres no hurry you know :) or if its like. HE wants to be the one to make them happy and if someone else is doing it its threatening his authority or something 

keeps mentioning some “big event” like everyone’s supposed to smile Only When It’s Time 

very confusing. very ominous. cant wait to find out what the fuck is going on 

i LOVE these weird automaton things 

#lucy plays smile for me #i have more but this is getting long

[eggoreviews]

12 ‘Unpopular’ Viddy Game Opinions

I’ve seen this topic floating around a lot, but didn’t think I had enough ‘unpopular but maybe not’ opinions about games to make a post. Turns out I do! So if you see this and I say something blasphemous, remember it’s just my opinion and my personal experiences with the games I list. Hope you enjoy or hey, maybe even agree with some of this!

Note: Can’t stress enough. This is just me. Also, spoilers under the cut!

12. The opening of Kingdom Hearts II isn’t as terrible as everyone says

Okay, so it’s not brilliant, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s the worst. For those not in the know, KH2′s opening is a basically a massive slog where you play as a character you don’t know or care about with seemingly no real link to the events of the previous game. The general consensus is that there’s some interesting stuff in here, but it’s buried among endless dialogue that really doesn’t mean much. And they’re right, but I really think there’s some great stuff here that people tend to gloss over. The music and the motif of Twilight Town is atmospheric, there’s some genuinely intriguing plot elements that are woven into Roxas’ story and believe it or not, the stuff that happens here is intrinsic to the rest of the game. So yeah, it drags on a little, but I don’t think KH2 would be miles better without this opening.

11. I loved Breath of the Wild’s final boss

One of the problems I see talked about with Breath of the Wild is that the boss fights are fairly mediocre, especially the very last one, Dark Beast Ganon. And I couldn’t disagree more. I think every boss in the game is wonderfully crafted, intense, challenging and great for testing you on what you’ve learned throughout the game by encouraging you to make creative use of your slate powers and the flurry rush technique. And while Mr. Pig Man at the end here is sort of easy and short, it serves as a brilliantly epic finale to damn near perfect game. While the difficulty is mostly gone after the mammoth fight with Calamity Ganon, it’s still just as intense as you frantically fire off arrows into the massive beast in front of you. Plus, the design of this thing is one of the best looking monsters in the game, so I really don’t understand the dislike for this ending.

10. I really like Crash of the Titans

Okay, so maybe childhood nostalgia has something to do with this pick, but every Crash fan I’m aware of seems to hate this game. But I don’t really know where the hate comes from! I played the PS2 version of this and I thought it was a genuinely fun 3D platformer with a variety of locations, good visuals, well-designed boss battles and even a vague story you can sort of follow! The game’s main gameplay feature is also brilliantly integrated, as using Aku Aku to possess various monsters throughout the game keeps everything interesting. One thing I will say though, that tiger dude you have to fight about halfway through is the most annoying thing I’ve ever had to endure in a game.

9. Life Is Strange: Before the Storm is BAD

I loved Life Is Strange when it first dropped, so I was beyond excited when they announced a prequel from Chloe’s perspective. But I really think they dropped the ball and they dropped it hard. But everyone else seems to adore this game! For me, this wasn’t a touch on the original. For a start, they dropped out one of the main mechanics of the first game, the time travel, which they then replaced with a much less interesting ‘Backtalk’ feature, which was then only used about twice throughout the game. Instead of interesting, developed characters reacting to genuinely dangerous or heartfelt situations, it felt to me like a bunch of one-dimensional teenagers who are edgy for the sake of being edgy. Chloe spends the majority of the game being a dick to her mother and bunking off class to spend time with Rachel, who she has literally known for like a day and their sudden relationship drops out of nowhere. Not that I didn’t enjoy the emotional moments of their relationship, it just didn’t feel like it stemmed from anywhere, unlike Max and Chloe from the first game. And the game’s attempts at villains were also rubbish compared to the first, with Damien (random scary knife guy who doesn’t really tie into the plot that much) and Eliot (who doesn’t appear for the whole game and suddenly goes full incel on Chloe when she breaks into Rachel’s house). Yeah I think you can tell I had some problems with this one.

8. Dishonored: Death of the Outsider was also a hot mess

I LOVE the Dishonored series. The first game and its DLCs are amazing, the second game was arguably even better. And then this happened. In this one, you play as Billie Lurk, a character I love, and Daud comes back, a character I also love. But both of them are incredibly badly written and it doesn’t feel like there’s any development to them or even much reason for them to do what they’re doing. This entry took the mystery surrounding the Outsider and basically did a big poo on it, giving us the revelation that he was apparently HUMAN this whole time. I think that was the nail in the coffin that made me sort of think this was a bit rubbish. While the combat and side missions were as brilliant as ever, the level designs felt less creative than other entries in the series and lacked variety or colour, all the side characters were entirely forgettable and to wrap it all up, they killed Daud offscreen. Out of nowhere, they just killed him, mentioned it offhand in a cutscene and that was that. If you like this game, fair enough, but it kind of baffles me that more people don’t see this in the game.

7. Mario Galaxy 2 is good. It’s just sort of good

Some people cite this as being one of the best 3D platformers of all time, and that’s fair enough, but I just kind of see this one as ‘good’. Sure, it has a good, satisfying control scheme for the most part, the level design is creative and the bosses and puzzles are pretty standard for a Mario title, but still enjoyable. However, sometimes, the floaty physics and weird knockback effect from jumping into walls led to quite a lot of unfair deaths, especially if I’d been punished for messing up already by losing a life, only to then immediately be punished again by falling into the void. Plus, I found Yoshi near impossible to control at some points with the motion controls. So yeah, this one is genuinely enjoyable, but I don’t think I’d personally put it with the best of all time.

6. I LOVE Dragon Quest IX TO DEATH

This is a game in a legendary franchise that consistently almost always see ranked at the very bottom of the pile in the series. But I really don’t understand how or why. Okay so your protagonist and party are basically silent and don’t have a lot of character, but I don’t see this as a reason to totally write off the game! The side characters, villains and story are all amazing and well-developed, the world is huge, colourful and interesting, the monsters are brilliantly creative and Dragon Quest’s signature lame sense of humour is gratefully carried through the whole game. The music is always brilliant and atmospheric and the bosses are just as memorable as each character you meet. What was everyone’s problem?? This is genuinely one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played and if you haven’t had a chance to pick it up, it is so, so worth it.

5. Sonic Adventure is a broken mess

So before I kick this one off, I’m not someone who hates Sonic and I’m not here to slate the whole franchise, but considering this game is often considered to be one of the best in the series, I thought it was definitely worth addressing. When I first played this, I literally couldn’t believe this was made in 1998, AFTER Mario 64 and yet it’s so broken! The physics and control scheme are totally wonky and hard to control, the unending amount of glitches make a fair amount of the stages almost unplayable, the voice acting and facial animation is cringey and oddly broken and yet, this was all on the Dreamcast. The most powerful console of the time. And I don’t think I even need to mention how boring some of the later stages get, with Big the Cat’s fishing section being the main offender. I can’t vouch for Adventure 2 as I haven’t had a chance to play yet, but I really hope it isn’t like this.

4. Dragon Age Origins is the best Dragon Age

Dragon Age has always been a popular RPG series, but I think it properly shot to fame once Inquisition dropped in 2014. And don’t get me wrong, I liked Inquisition! The world was colourful and expansive and the characters were fairly memorable, but I still think the best experience you can get is in the series’ first entry, Origins. While it’s pretty easy to see that it’s slightly dated considering it’s ten years old now, the best characters and story in the series I think is here. Each companion you recruit is varied and developed and the story wraps up brilliantly in the end with each companion and army you meet playing a different role in the final battle. Plus, I kind of can’t forgive Inquisition for making Leliana lose her sense of humour and making her kinda boring.

3. Oblivion is better than Skyrim

Okay so I’m not sure exactly how unpopular this is, but I just thought Oblivion was miles better than Skyrim ended up being. Just to clear it up, I still love Skyrim and I thought it built on the series’ combat system and variety of enemies really well and still provided an enjoyable experience. But Oblivion feels like more of an adventure you feel at home in. The story is dense and full of twists and turns. The soundtrack has some of the most atmospheric music I’ve ever heard, the world is full of bright colours, each city is vastly different and has its own lore and I found some of this to be absent from Skyrim. I’d go into more detail, but I think the simple fact is that Oblivion had so much more I liked than Skyrim.

2. I don’t think The Witcher III is all that amazing (in some regards)

This by no means says that I don’t like the game, because I do, but I think it has more flaws than people let on. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the stuff people praise about this game is true, the quests are in-depth and masterfully crafted, the characters, especially Geralt, are extremely memorable. In fact, Geralt is one of my favourite game protagonists. But most of the problems I had were in terms of the gameplay. The combat, while fast-paced and satisfying, can sometimes feel a little finicky, so a lot of precision is needed. However, I felt that the world itself didn’t particularly interest me and the music is often ambient but outside of combat, isn’t anything special. Mostly though, the leveling system I found to be a bit wonky. I did absolutely everything I could in the first area of the game; all the side quests, treasure hunts, killed a whole bunch of monsters etc. And then I arrive in the second area and find I’m too underleveled to do literally anything. The majority of the quests have too high a level cap, a lot of the monsters kill me very quickly. And because the bulk of EXP farming is in the quests, I’m sort of stuck in an endless loop of constantly not being strong enough to do anything. On top of that, all my equipment keeps breaking and I’m finding that repair kits are extremely few and far between and that makes me even WEAKER. It’s something I’m gonna need to persevere with I think, but hey, this is just my experience with it.

1. Ocarina of Time, as amazing as it is, may have overstayed its welcome as best game of all time

I reckon this might be the most controversial, so it’s number 1. Let me preface this by saying I really like Ocarina and I agree that it was innovative for the RPG genre at the time. There’s a hell of a lot in this game that we have to thank for the games we have today. But considering how far the gaming industry has come since then and the sheer amount of high quality games we’ve been getting year after year, is still fair to call this the best game ever? When more recent games have taken what Ocarina started and built upon it? Games like Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption II, God of War all gave us expansive, beautiful worlds and a story you can really get stuck into. And all the time, more and more games of this caliber are coming out. So yes, of course Ocarina of Time deserves a place in the hall of fame, it was revolutionary and still holds up really well today! I just can’t help but think there have been plenty of games since then, as flawed as some of them may be, that have improved upon the formula tenfold since Ocarina’s release.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Just to reiterate, these are all just my opinions and my experiences with the games I mentioned, so pls don’t attack me. Got any viddy game opinions you think are sort of not popular? Drop them down below if you feel like it!

#zelda #loz #nintendo #nintendo switch #kingdom hearts #ocarina of time #botw #breath of the wild #oblivion #skyrim #dragon age #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #dragon quest #mario #Super Mario #Dishonored #life is strange #gaming

[septic-dr-schneep]

How's the next chapter coming? :D

Heh.

JSE Fanfiction - In Time Of Need (Part 7: Discord #4)

Summary: Schneep is reluctantly pulled away from Jackieboy’s side to answer an urgent summons; it leads to him making an unexpected discovery.

Schneep had never been one to sleep on his side. Flopping face first intothe pillow and sleeping on his stomach had always been the fastest route to therest he so desperately needed. When he slept on his side, his glasses werealways bent crooked and the nerves in his arm never got enough blood because itwas trapped underneath him, but it was amazing how willingly he could acceptthe position after surviving on three hours of sleep every night for the lastweek.

Somehow he even managed to stay comfortable enough to dream; he hadeverything he could ask for, after all: a sturdy bed, a blanket and thecomforting presence of a friend—a friend who was safe, who could make sure that he was safe.

He dreamt of that safety, that warmth and love. His boys, his steelyDeidrick and his curious Liam, were little again, laughing and chasing eachother, ducking around his legs as they played. Maire’s dark, sleek hair slideasily through his hands as he guided her in to kiss him. In the corner of hiseye, Chase made a face at them just as his own wife was reaching for him.

The scene changed—there was music, chatter, dancing. Chase performed hisfirst flawless backflip, Jameson and Marvin showed off their hat tricks, and Schneepgot up the courage to sing just a few verses of “Footloose” with Jackie as hisbackup. Jack was smiling so widely that his cheeks were turning pink and Signewas in her pretty black dress, leaning on his arm. They were inside a vastbuilding with a soft and rosy glow, but somehow they were surrounded withfireflies.

Reality crashed back in with an uncomfortably loud buzz and a touch tohis shoulder. He jumped, untangling himself from Jackieboy’s arm and sitting upstraight with his glasses dangling precariously on one ear. Even with hisvision blurry he registered the small, pasty white hospital room, as well asthe startled nurse, Rena, who stood before him.

“I’m…sorry to disturb you, sir. I just wanted to check up on thepatient,” she explained hesitantly, to which he scowled but jerked a short nodof approval, adjusting his glasses as he slid deftly off the hospital bed.Jackie didn’t stir at the movement. No doubt he would be sleeping off themorphine for a while; at least he would get to keep his sweet dreams, Schneep mused ruefully as he moved out of Rena’sway, rifling through his coat pockets for the source of the vibration.

It hadn’t been his pager, he realized, brows furrowing in concern as he checkedit and didn’t find any messages. His cell had been placed on silent for thesurgery and he hadn’t turned it back on, so it couldn’t be that…

The insistent buzz sounded a second time, then a third, and Rena lookedup from Jackieboy’s IV, questioning, “Are you going to get that, Doctor?”

“I’m trying,” he assured her in a huff, half-turning away for someprivacy and then stopping up short as he was faced with Jackieboy’s personal effectson the tray nearby—among them, two phones. Dread trickled icily down Schneep’sspine as he saw which screen had brightened, but he had no opportunity to pickit up before the one in his pocket took its turn, rattling against his hip.Trying to keep his breathing even, he shifted his reach from his recreationalcell to the other phone.

“I’ve got aperfectly good phone,” Chase had protested, waving said device so its screenpleasantly reflected the light. “Got the best data package, got all of you onspeed-dial…what’s the deal with this new one? It’s only got dialing andtexting!”

“Yes, what isthis meant for, Jackie?” Schneep questioned, peering closely at the gadget Jackieboyhad shoved into his hands. It didn’t look like a normal smartphone; it was larger,sturdier, encased in black and bronze metal.

“Familyemergencies,” the hero muttered as he slapped one in Marvin’s outstretched palm.“Silver Shepherd helped me with ’em; he’s giving one to Roxanne too. It’s a CCC—CriticalCondition Communicator. It’s only meant for when you fear for your life, okay? Ifyou’ve got time to send a message with text, it’s got prompts for the kind ofemergency. If not, well, you don’t even have to speed-dial, Chase; thisis instant-dial. Hit any of these numbers and it contacts me, Marv, Jackand Signe. Speaking of you, Marv, I’ll need you to enchant them so they canhave unlimited range in the city.”

“Seriously?”Leaning his elbows on his knees, Marvin blinked up at the older Ego in utter bewilderment.“What’s brought all of this on?”

“It’s beencoming for a while,” Jackieboy assured him grimly. “Figured it’s about time Itry getting to all of you in time, instead of finding you in a puddle of yourown blood. Anti is Prompt #1, by the way.”

Schneep was already starting to sweat when he snatched up Jackie’s comm. andread the #3 – Marvin scrolling across it. When he pulled his own fromhis pocket and found #5 – Chase on the screen, he spun hurriedly on hisheel.

“Take care of my friend! You take care of him, you make sure he’s safe!”he commanded the nurse, barely taking a moment to watch her nod before speed-walkingdown the hallway. As soon as he got past the hospital’s front doors, he brokeinto a run, only spurred on by the essential bricks weighing down his pockets.

His comm. vibrated one more time while he was fidgeting, drumming hisfingers and yelling at the driver in the back of the taxi. He was afraid tolook and it turned out that gut feeling was entirely valid.

#8 – Jack.

“Faster, I’m begging you! Doyou know meaning of emergency?! Isthe definition in your brain?!” he cried desperately at the taxi driver yetagain, who exasperatedly shook his head and waited for the light to change. Bythe time Egos Incorporated came into view, Schneep was a mere lunge away fromtaking the steering wheel himself. Instead he opted for the door, charging upthe front path at a full run.

“Schneep, finally!” Chase came to meet him just inside the door, clampingonto his arm and steering him in the direction of the lab, frenzied wordspouring out of him faster than Schneep could latch onto them. He caught themost important parts—“Jack,” “some kind of fit,” “fighting his own body”, and—

“He what?” Schneep gasped.

Rubbing his arms as if to ward off the cold, Chase gulped. “He spoke. Screamed. All he said was ‘Out,’ and I—Ihave no idea what he meant. Doc, he opened his eyes! He was awake and then he wasn’tand I couldn’t do a thing! I had to call you!”

“You did right, you did right,” Schneep concurred with a fleeting wave toMarvin as he snatched up a handful of tools and bent over his creator, pryinghis eyes open. For a second or two, he was startled to see just how blue Jack’seyes were this close. Even glassy and red-rimmed, they were electric. Shakingit off, he shone his penlight into them, muttering, “The eyes respond like normal,but they’re inflamed…He has not been awaketo be inflamed! How did this happen to you, my friend? What were you dreamingof? You dream of the sun, look at it too close? You should know—”

“What is it?” Chase demanded anxiously at the doctor’s abrupt silence.

“Go to the ABOP, Chase,” Schneep ordered lowly. “Marvin, you open thatgateway for him.”

“What is it, Schneep?” Marvinrepeated Chase’s question even as he grit his teeth and began focusing a spell,the air before him bending into a portal to the Augmented Biogenic Ocular Plant,where Septic Sam resided.

“Jack’s right eye…has been burned. Go make sure our little Sam isalright.”

With a breathless half-sob, Chase nodded so vigorously that his hatalmost flew off his head, fairly diving into the portal as soon as he could seethe makings of the pocket dimension on the other side. Marvin’s hands shook ashe eased the portal closed behind the vlogger and then staggered back,clutching at his head and very narrowly catching himself against the counterbehind him.

Schneep looked up at the clatter, eyes narrowing in concern. “Marvin?”

“It’s nothing, it’s fine,” the magician assured him faintly, his knuckleswhitening where he gripped the counter’s edge. “Just…stretched myself a littlethin today…Haven’t had a chance to lie down since Chase dragged me here by thearm.”

“He gave me the same treatment.”

Silence settled in after these words as Schneep began looking over Jack’smonitors. It looked as if none of his vitals had changed, but Chase would neverbe so cruel to lie to them about this and the redness in his eyes was amystery. Momentarily Schneep berated himself for not being here to witness itand then he thought again. Perhaps it was better that he hadn’t; he neverwanted to see Jack in such pain as Chase had described.

After changing some of the solutions in Jack’s IV, he turned hisattention to Marvin, who was still slumped against the counter with his headdown, breathing shallowly. Schneep’s heart sank uncomfortably at the sight. He hadn’tbeen alone with Marvin for almost two weeks; in fact, he’d hardly been in thesame room with him for twice that long.

“You don’t look fine,” he ventured softly. Marvin’s shoulders shook witha silent laugh, little more than an outbreath, and the doctor shifted towardhim, fiddling with his hands. “Tell me.”

“…I was there, Schneep. I was inthere.”

“In where?”

“Jack’s head.” Agitated, Marvin tugged at the hem of his shirt. “I was inthere—or at least I was trying to be.I was looking for him, trying to find some…trace of him. He had his seizure while I was in there and I…thinkit might’ve saved my life.”

“Tell me everything.”

“Hkh—hh—hel—”

“D̶oņ’t…b͜o͟th̡er…t̵ryi͠ng,”Anti hissed again, his teeth glinting in eerie colors against the light of themedical monitors as he smiled, bearing his weight down against the struggle. “Noone̶'̢s li͢s͟t͝eni̴ng. Y̡our̨ f͡a͘it̛h̢ful͢ little͝ n͟urse ͜might hav͝e͡ no͠t̶ic̶e̕dbut, well…s͜óme pupp̛e͡ts ̡get t̢hei̡r ͠str͟i̸ńgs ͠c̕ut t͘oo s͟o̴o̢n̡!”

Jackieboy could only manage a sick, agonized gurgle in response, hisfingernails tearing frantically into Anti’s wrists to dislodge his grip fromhis throat.

“W͝e̢ ͝b̀o͢ţh k̢n̢ew y̴ou͘r ̵do̢ctor͜ ̕woul̢d sav͞e ͝y͘ou̕,” Antigrunted, bringing one knee down hard into the hero’s stitched side and drawinga strangled whine from him as he bucked and thrashed against it. “I̶ c̴oun̸t̨ed on i͝t̨, cos͠ ̨n̕o̵w͜ ͜w̧hat̢ I g̴èt to do—H́o͘ļd͞s̸̢ţ̧̕i̧ļ͢l͘!—is wa͠tch ͜him͝ g͟o ̨mad̴ to keep you a̸liv̨e͘. I o̢n͝ly goţ ̛t͟o see͝ ìt ͢oncè, w̶hen̴hé wa̕s ope̡r̡at͠i͞ng ̨on yóu͜r poor҉ ͠J͡a͢ck. He had Ja̢ck̷'͡s̸ bl̴ood̷ all̨ơv̛er his fr͡o͠n̢t, he was d͘rȩnc҉hedin it! Y͝ou ́şhoul̵d’ve ͟seen ̛how͞ hę c̵ried͡. You wou͢l͝d͘’vę̶thóug̕h͞t he wás̕ th̡e ͞on̛e dying…And he cri͝e̶s the ͘sa̵me̴ ̨w̡ay̶ ̡for you.”

He laughed then, leaning in close, blood from his throat dripping androlling down Jackie’s face alongside his sweat and tears from struggling. Inone swift motion he tore one of his hands away from the hero’s throat and clampedit over his mouth and nose.

“S̵ee, t̴h̀i͠s͠ ͟is ͡be͟tt͘e͢r͘ ̶th̸an ki̷ll͜i̢ng̴ ̀you,” he explainedgleefully, static gathering around him like the darkest clouds just before athunderstorm. “Be̶c̀au̵se Schnee̛p̷l̨estei͢n…and Cha̸se͜… and̨͡Ma̡rv͟ìn…s͠eeing you in̛ ͜th̀e same con͢d̸ìti̛o͟n a̵s̨ J̷ac̵k ͞is̵͜go��i͟n̡g t͝o̡ ̕b̵e enou͘gh to̡ kiļl th̷em!So ̧g͠o on, h́ér͞ǫ…”

Jackieboy’s skin numbed where Anti was touching him and what little wasleft of his cries began to die out. His peripheral vision flickered with gray,tunneling, and the world around him faded to white noise. With the lastvestiges of consciousness, he flung an arm out toward his belongings, fingersscraping helplessly against the tray for the communicator that wasn’t there. Itwas far, far away, at the bottom of a lab coat pocket.

“Tòo̸ ͜ląte for that, p̛upp͘ét.” Anti’s smug words sounded just as distantas his last chance for help. “J̡u͢st ̛rel̨a͞x…I͡’m͜s͢ure ͟y̧ou’ll ̕be͞ ̀a̷ble t̀o sl̷e҉e͟p t͜hi̷s off.”

#youtube #jacksepticeye #fanfiction #youtube fanfiction #dr schneeplestein #marvin the magnificent #chase brody #jackieboy man #antisepticeye #septic eye sam #angst #hurt comfort #whump #answered ask #Anonymous

[lilydalexf]

My current struggle with "My Struggle IV" is:  When did Scully find out she was pregnant?

Mulder demonstrated he did not know prior to Scully telling him on the bridge because she did so in direct reply to him saying that he was not a father and him saying he didn't know what she meant when she said he was. So Mulder ran out of the house to go find William while Scully stayed home to, like, Google lottery ticket winners, and while she's not busy doing that she decided to take a home pregnancy test in the middle of the night? No.

Under the cut there are surely more words than necessary to continue answering this question. It’s a lot of words, you guys.

Scully clearly learned she was pregnant sometime after "Plus One" because (a) she's talking to Mulder about having babies in a theoretical, what-if way, and (b) that's when they definitely had sex. Twice.

She also must have learned after "Ghouli" because it is too absurd to think that Mulder and Scully are running around seemingly finding William and then Scully says nothing about being pregnant again with Mulder's child. (Mulder and Scully seem to be fully accepting of Mulder being William's father prior to "My Struggle IV," hence the "again." That is a good thing from this episode and this season – Mulder and Scully certainly thought they made William together in a normal way. Whether that was by IVF or the old fashioned way is of course never made clear, but it seems that it almost certainly has to be the latter since "Per Manum" was explicit about the "last chance" IVF attempt failing.)

It also seems like she had to learn after "Rm9sbG93ZXJz" since Scully was eating sushi in that episode, which she would have known was a bad idea if pregnant since it would've been risky in an already risky scenario. And Scully would not engage in anything remotely risky just for the fun of it when it came to a surprise pregnancy. (Yes, she did put herself in dangerous positions in "My Struggle IV," but mostly not. She was simply running around the warehouse – though of course she couldn't have known that's all it would be when she went there.)

And it must have been after "Familiar" since that episode was so child-focused and she was nonplussed by it, as much as she would be faced with something so objectively awful. She and Mulder were investigating murders of children. If she knew she was pregnant, she would have surely experienced some emotional upheaval and shared that with Mulder, if not during that episode then sometime prior to or at the very least during "Nothing Lasts Forever."

It's hard to believe, though, that Scully knew she was pregnant before "Nothing Lasts Forever" because she fell 4 stories down a dumbwaiter shaft in that episode and didn't seem concerned at all. She plainly announced with certainty when Mulder pulled her out from the trash pile at the bottom of the shaft, "I'm fine." She would NOT have done so in the face of a newly discovered pregnancy. Blowing off the danger would have been cruel and irrational, and Scully is anything but cruel and irrational.

In that episode she does whisper something mysterious to Mulder in the church, and maybe it was then that she told him she was pregnant, or maybe just whispering a needless tease of wanting to be when she already knew the truth, but his facial reaction did not reflect such a huge revelation. Plus, his "I'm not a father" comment in "My Struggle IV" would not make sense if he learned about the pregnancy in the prior episode, to say nothing of how curious his decision would be in "My Struggle IV" to run off alone on a potentially fatal search for William (without even hugging Scully goodbye, no less) if he already knew Scully was pregnant.

Maybe Scully knew she was pregnant when "My Struggle IV" begins, putting her finding out sometime between the last two episodes. In retrospect, she has a curious reaction to Mulder immediately prepping to dash to the airport to maybe find William after the phone tip from Reyes. Mulder says now may be their last chance to find William. (He says "our" last good chance, which is one of the nice, subtle ways that the Mulder/Scully partnership is affirmed in this episode, though it is funny in a ridiculous way that their last chance is also their first chance as far as we know). As he's getting ready to leave Scully stands staring at him with mouth literally gaping open, eyes teary. She moves her mouth repeatedly as if she's about to say something, but then the only thing she says is "Just come back alive."

Was Scully's reaction here intended to reflect an internal struggle over whether to tell Mulder now that she's pregnant? It can certainly be interpreted that way. Gillian Anderson's face is marvelously emotive here.

At the same time, of course Scully would be emotionally distraught at this point without knowing about a pregnancy, with Mulder being driven to run off that moment to find William at a place she knows William is not at because of her mental connection to him but that she wants William to be at so he can be found and reassured of some safety with her and Mulder. So she's torn between insisting that Mulder not go and encouraging him to go. That could also explain the uncertainty and fear painted on her face. It would also help explain why she did not pull Mulder into a hug here, which you'd have to think there would not have been a question about were she seeing Mulder off knowing she was pregnant with his child.

Last time Mulder ran off on a dangerous search when Scully was pregnant (albeit unknown to her at the time) in "Requiem," things ended badly. VERY badly. Mulder did come back alive, but only eventually. After being dead for a while first. Would Scully just stand there in "My Struggle IV" knowing she was pregnant and not say anything to Mulder? Not that she would tell him that second she was pregnant as he was about to run out the door, but she wouldn't insist on being by his side this time, to leave with him? Ask that he not only come back alive but quickly and unharmed? Be more persistent in stopping him from leaving right then because she knows he won't find William at the plane, knows the prospect of finding William at that particular plane is the only reason Mulder is so dead set on leaving right that second, and knows that she can't keep the baby a secret much longer for her sake or Mulder's?

It's just absurd that Scully would know she was pregnant at that moment Mulder was leaving and act how she did. Particularly after what happened in "Requiem" and its aftermath when Mulder was missing and Scully was pregnant, unsure if she would ever see him again. Not to mention that Scully knowing at this time in the house would mean she had to have found out on her own at some prior time that did not prompt her to immediately get to Mulder and tell him the news. What would she have possibly been doing that was more important? And why wouldn't Mulder have been with her in the first place if she was testing for pregnancy, either at home or at a doctor's office? Especially after "Nothing Lasts Forever" it's pretty unfathomable that Scully would not at least have a plan of confirming a suspicion of pregnancy with ScienceTM and then telling Mulder ASAP.

In theory Scully could have had that plan but Reyes interrupted it in a colossal tragedy of bad timing. Stranger things have happened on this show to be sure, but to set up the timing that way on purpose? For no reason that offers any remote care for the character of Scully, or Mulder for that matter, instead only serving some "big reveal" in the last seconds of the episode when neither the characters nor the audience deserve something that should be joyous turn into something desperate and rushed?

In conclusion, no scenario makes sense for when Scully discovered she was pregnant and we are all doomed to an existence of incomprehension. The more things change with The X-Files, the more things stay the same!

Honestly, though, it seems most plausible that Scully found out sometime between "Nothing Lasts Forever" and "My Struggle IV" and that her struggle was figuring out how and when she was going to tell Mulder. Why she would struggle with that is something I can't quite make sense of since (a) she was probably living at the house with Mulder since hers got destroyed a few episodes ago, and (b) the news would have been exhilarating and aching to be shared. Exhilarating bad by being scary and confusing but also exhilarating good by being a result of love and hope.

I obviously love this show dearly, and especially Mulder and Scully dearly, or I would not bother to try to sort through this plot point. These two are beyond deserving by now to be emotionally and physically well and with each other. I hope they are once they get themselves off that bridge. But geesh, Scully, less whispering into Mulder’s ear and more talking out loud into his open heart.

#my struggle iv #i only meant to say a couple things #it turned into THIS #i am obviously making good decisions about how to spend time today #life well lived

[iphoenixrising]

I can't stop thinking about your Dr!Tim verse (This isnt a prompt btw, I just wanted you to know that Ive been thinking about your writing and how much its inspired me. Sorry for how long this is). I keep imagining the man on the bridge being the hot topic on every news station and paper, even more than Batman and Robin. Everyone wants to know who he is. Is he ok? Did he give his life saving his fellow Gotham citizens? There are a lot of questions

(2)and few answers. Those in the loop are more than content to leave it that way,but somehow it gets leaked that Gothams new hero is a young prodigy doctor atGotham General. Tim is not made aware of this until he gets mobbed by reportersas he’s leaving his 36 hour shift and getting asked a lot of innapropriatepersonal questions. And it’s not nearly as funny as you seem to think it is,Jason.

(3)Of course his boyfriends quickly stop finding the situation funny once the joboffers from all over the world start rolling in. Dozens of them, all offeringthings like millions of dollars in salary, positions like chief of surgery, allin state of the art hospitals that are properly funded and don’t reside incities with crazy clown attacks. And it hurts because, how could they ask himto stay? How could they ask their genius sugar to tie himself down to a city

(4)that chews everyone in it up and spits them out, to be a doctor in a hospitalbarely scraping by, how could they ask their genius boy to refuse a once in alifetime opportunity to escape this shithole of a city and make something bigof himself, all to stay with two vigilantes who cant guarantee they’ll make ithome each night. They couldn’t do it, they want whats best for their boy, evenif it means he leaves them. They can’t ask him to stay.

(5)Damian of course has no such qualms about blackmailing, er requesting Drakestay in the city, and subsequently with his older brothers (Because if he hurtsthem, Damian will hurt Tim twice as bad). Which leads to a very awkwardconversation in which Damian threatens Tim not to leave, Tim is confusedbecause “who said anything about leaving?” And then they have a heartto heart about how Tim isn’t stuck at Gotham general, he chose that hospital.And that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

**

So, hi babe :D  Iknow this has been sitting in my inbox for a minute, sorry >.

Brilliant, babe. Justbrilliant.

I also get to play withanother back-and-forth I haven’t really gotten to yet in these little things,so I’m super excited for B and Tony Stark to just have a little snark-fest,yeah?  

**

Tony showed up a fewweeks early for his quarterly “visit” to Gotham.

It’s disconcertingbecause Tony Stark goes between creating new innovations to privatelyconsulting around the US on the most dire of cases in need of a precise handand large enough ego to make miracles happen. He might have to do somebookkeeping even though Pepper is his CEO and runs his company with iron heels. When he’s not working, he has a nice relationship waiting for himat home.

All of it didn’t leaveTony much time to be running to Gotham before schedule to do someridiculous amount of pouting.

And yet?

Here they are.

When Tim actually getsto turn away from the stack of charts he’s updating, he has an oh shitmoment because Tony…isn’t immediately talking. No white coat, just asnazzy three-piece, arms crossed over his chest, and utterly

Silent.

Tim automaticallystands, taking in his old mentor from head to foot, looking for clues toadd to the inevitable diagnosis hovering in his brain pan.

(Because, you know, thattime when he was still a lowly bachelor and could take a month off of Mercy topretty much live in Tony’s facility while things like brain tumors threatenedhis Tony Stark’s life. His hands didn’t shake the whole time he was rootingaround that famous mound of grey matter–that’s when he knew he’d hit the bigleagues.)

“If you even think,”Tony starts, low and angry, “of taking the offer from UCLA over mine, Iwill be an even bigger asshole about your terrible life choices.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Word has apparently gottenaround.

It started out with aquick blurb on the news, blurry camera phone picture of emergency workers andplain clothes civilians jumping to action in the middle of a crisis, a humaninterest story and all that. A glimmer of goodness among the chaos.

More picture with betterquality once the shock and aftermath died down, started to flood Social Media,even various videos of cables snapping and people running, trying not to gettrampled. One the media latched onto just happened to be of him carrying thelittle girl from the car and helping her mother up in the back of a truck tosend them to safety.

The one with himbreaking through the fallen debris made Dick gasp from the table where he waspatching his suit and Jay wrap a big hand around his ankle to squeeze.

The one where he almostlost his grip climbing the wall of broken shit and flaming car remains isprobably where someone saw the connection because the class of kids went on thenews, holding up colorful signs with Thank-You, Dr. Drake!

He was happy they allseemed fine and after an uncomfortable call from Channel 11 Gotham (howthey found out his name is still a mystery even though he suspects B is an evenbigger troll than he’d already surmised), in which he stipulated nocameras this time, went by the elementary school for a visit. They gripped hisnerd shirt with excited hands, and his arms are long enough for a lot ofhugs.

But while Channel 11agreed to his term of no cameras, no interviews, that didn’t really panout when it came to the story later on that night.

His picture flashed allover the damn place, the resident angel on the bridge as one Dr. Drakefrom Mercy General trying to save as many lives as he could. More video clipsand interviews after the fact (he’s so glad to see that Karmen and her mom areokay), and dammit, he’s being literally attacked outside thedouble doors to his ER after a very long shift without Steph. He mighthave been a little mean when he told them in no specific terms that he was onlytrying to make sure people didn’t, you know, die horribly, as is hisnormal, every-day job, and please let him go home where he can pass outfor a day or he’s going to lie down on someone’s shoes and take a nap.

Jay was predictablyentertained at the whole of it. Dick merely told him his kick-ass doctorinstincts deserved appropriate accolades.

Both of them areassholes, but still, they’re his assholes.

But eventually, likeeverything in Gotham, those videos became old news and the next wave ofinevitable oh shit became front and center. Which, should have meant hisfifteen seconds of fame was pretty much over (thankfully)–if he hadn’tstarted getting other interest.

Several offers startedcoming first by mail to the Penthouse, more by phone and email. Unassumingproper stationary with silver and gold lettering, bright voicemails about his“heroism” and obvious skill in emergency situations, emails from high-rankingdoctors or board members extending an invitation to visit their campus and seeif his career might be going in a new direction.

(Gag)

It was pretty easy atfirst, chucking those finely detailed introduction letters in the trashdiscreetly, sending back appreciative declines without Dick or Jason gettingwise as to how many there actually were.

(John Hopkinsthough…that one he had to think about)

A month later and thingsslacked off (or might be routed through Drake Industries so they stop coming tothe Penthouse). Apparently, though, the attention had been somewhat noticeable.

“I don’t know what youmay have heard, Tony, but–” he starts out calmly, putting the penpointedly down.

“Let me start with the shortlist,” it’s the usual sarcasm laying the mood, mimicking an imaginarychecklist, “John Hopkins, Department Head of Emergency Medicine. Mayo, General Surgery Residency Program Director. MassachusettsGeneral, Chief of Surgery. UCSF, Chief of Residents. UCLA, Chief of Staff.Cedars-Sinai, Neuroscience research grants out the ass. Sound morefamiliar?”

Well, there’s only oneway to get this conversation started.

Bonding over coffee.

Gathering up hischarts with a sigh, Tim shakes his head a little and grabs the cane he’s beenusing since his leg is finally starting to get with it (and no Steph,the House MD jokes were funny a week ago, now you need new material). Heshoos Tony out of the room and down the corridor to the chaos that is his ER.

“Notice I didn’tmention the very generous and consistent offer from StarkMedical, Tim,” because Tony really has nothing to be mad about per sayand falls in step beside him anyway, slowing down his unusually fast strides toaccount for the limp. “Because I’m not here to smooze.”

He pauses at the maindesk to arrange the charts in order, gets the approving nod from his favoriteHead Nurse.

“There’s story behindthis,” he fills in casually, “it’s more complicated than just–”

“You almost died,”Tony interrupts smoothly, “on a bridge. You ran around on a crumbling bridgeinstead of getting people the hell off while you got the hell off. Halfthe nation saw that guy with the crazy bat fetish catch someone out in openwater wearing purple scrubs, Tim.”

Well, none of that isa lie really.

Hands free, Tim gripsTony’s elbow and steers them pointedly into the break room, closes the door.With Dr. Stark roaming around Mercy, most everyone would stay clear unless somecatastrophe hits anyway.

He lets Tony stew fora few minutes while he makes a fresh pot of coffee and thinks very, very hardabout how this is going to go.

“You were worriedabout me,” Tim finally gives a half-grin in the face of Tony’s nope, andputs a fresh paper cup in his hand, “you can bluster all you want, but you wereworried, and I appreciate it.”

“That is absolute crapand you know it. I’m here to make sure no other hospitals or researchfacilities snatch you up, Drake. Not after all the effort I put into you overthe last few years.”

Sure, Tony. “The bridge. I survived. A lot of otherpeople survived, so you can ignore whatever crap the news stations aresaying–”

“All of it is true.You stupidly risked your life when the structural integrity was compromised,and since it just happened to involve that wing-nut in the cape, thenation is going to pay the fuck attention.”

Which is probably whyhe’s suddenly Mr. Popular in his field. Well, that does answer some questions.

“You’re taking thisout of proportion,” even if it’s fruitless, he’s still going to try,“there really haven’t been that many–”

“Twenty of the topfacilities in the world have made offers that would put this place to shame.Three of your last publications have shown up in recent journals. The nextsymposium you’re supposed to be at is already sold out.”

And well, shit.He…he didn’t know all of that.

“Besides, if I wasblowing it out of proportion, we wouldn’t be talking about it in thedeserted break room, Drake.”

Tim groans out loud,rubbing a tired hand down his face. How is he going to explain without soundinglike a complete moron?

“Tony, the offersare…nice, okay? I’m not going to say it isn’t cool to be wanted by someof these places. I mean Cedars… they have equipment and research facilitiesmost places couldn’t even dream of. Just the possibilities–”

A very pointedclearing of the throat makes him take a pause to breathe, count to ten becausehe has to get in the mindset to deal with Tony like this again (it’s been aminute) when he’s being incredibly stubborn.

Neither of them noticethe dark blue against black right at the side of the building, but the presenceunder the open window narrows white eyes and stays hidden in the Gotham shadow. Who even knew how long he’d been there.

“Excuse me,Cedars has equipment most facilities–aside from Stark Medical of course–couldn’teven dream of.”

The look he gets backis unimpressed at most, but Tim can see past the usual Tony Stark mask. Theexuding confidence is there like the nice, expensive suits he wears, but underneaththe brilliance and the snark, Tony’s eyes are bloodshot and the dark circlesunderneath look like bruises. He keeps his dominant hand in the pocket of hispants, probably to hide the slight tremble (which is why he isn’t wearing acoat, right? If Tony’s riding the sleep dep train, he won’t operate if hishands are starting to shake).

Tim eases back alittle, sips on his terrible sludge while idly thumbing his phone open.

“I’m very well awareof the opportunities right in front of you, Tim,” Tony starts moving, a shortwhirlwind of movement, activity, and energy. “I’m just saying–”

“What I told you ayear ago is still true,” Tim comes back, finishing up the quick text to one ofTony’s significant others, (just a little knowledge drop on how exhausted hismentor really is). He puts his phone away and crosses his arms over his chestin a firm sign of ‘this is how the discussion is going to go.’

“You can’t be serious.”And yes, that’s Tony Stark without all the touchy-feely, I care if you diekind of thing. “I’m outraged. I’m outraged on your behalf, Tim.”

“You can’t be,” hedeadpans.

“The hell I can’t.You’re going to stay here, in this death trap of a city and practicemedicine in this ill-equipped, dilapidated chop-shop hold-over from the secondWorld War–”

“Tony, c’mon.”

“While half thegoddamned world is out for you?! Do you have any idea what kindof direction your career could go if you accepted even one of thoseoffers?”

“I–”

“Anything else isliterally going to be professional suicide.”

“When you put it like that–”he snarks back, getting a little closer to his patience. It had taken longerthan usual because Tony, like Layla, needed to adults to lay it out for themonce and awhile.

“It’s time to listento reason, Tim. You’ve had plenty of time to try, I don’t know, winningthe Nobel for putting up with terrible conditions and homicidal maniacs withbomb fetishes. Isn’t it time you started challenging yourself again, and notby trying to die in this trash-dump city?”

And the shadowsoundlessly slides away in the night, leaving the conversation to finish up anecessary patrol. The rushing wind doesn’t take away anything he’s alreadylearned.

Dr. Drake, blissfullyunaware of the company, narrows his eyes dangerously, straightens up because dammit,he thought he handled this.

“I. Am. Not.Interested.” He tries, wondering if the emphasis counts. “As appealing as theresearch capabilities are, I’m not taking any of the offers. At all, atall. I’m staying right the fuck here where I choose to be.”

And he sees Tony startto open his mouth to start-up with another fast and furious argument on whyGotham is a cesspool of death and more death, but Tim walks right overanything he might have started in on by just getting right up in Tony’s faceand laying it all out.

“I appreciate the fuckout of the interest, Dr. Stark. Thanks but no thanks.”

“I need someone tocheck you out obviously.”

“I like ithere.”

“Oh? And what’s hername Mister I-Like-It-Here?”

“His name,Tony, and their names for your information.”

That has the intendedeffect and makes his old mentor pretty much pause on the next syllable.   

“But just so you know,they aren’t the only reasons why I’m staying in Gotham City. It’s more thanbeing close to my parents’ graves or close to my best friend and my niece. It’smore than just finally coming home, Tony. I belong here. I’m neededhere. It’s dirty and dangerous and so fucking what if there’s a guy in aBat suit running around kicking the shit out of criminals? It’s my city,so no. I’m not going anywhere.”

And Tony just blinksdown at him for long moments, this scene so painfully familiar from their daysof arguing back and forth during his “internship” with Stark Medical. It hadn’ttaken him long to understand what needed to be done to make someone like TonyStark change his mind.

Get all up in his faceand drop some truth bombs.

“I really, really hatethis,” Tony finally replies flatly, but his eyes are scrunched in amusement.

“I know. If I ever dowant to leave it behind, then you know the first place I’m going to go,” Timcomes back more gently, giving Tony a smirk.

Even though he’sobvious not happy about it, some of the pissed off fades out of Tony’sstiff posture. “Promise me, Drake. No one gets to kill you before I pick yourbrain about the neuro-stimulation device we’re working on.”

And with the obviouspun, he leans over laughing until his damn leg starts to ache and Tony has tohold him up by the arm so he doesn’t fall over.

**

The very impressiveRolls Royce greets Dr. Stark when he finally makes his way out the front doorsto attempt finding some palatable coffee.

The older man waitingby the passenger-side door is familiar enough that a smile cuts across Tony’sface.

“Alfred! Long time, nosee.” He smirks at the irony since his “visits” to Gotham didn’t alwayscoordinate with Pepper’s insistence he at least be in the city for SMbusiness.

“Master Stark, apleasure to see you again, Sir.”

“Always. Let me guess.You have some incredible coffee in there waiting for me?”

“Of course, Sir. Flavoredjust how you prefer.”

“You are a master ofall things, Alfred. Don’t even let Bruce tell you any differently.”

“I shall remind him atevery opportunity. However, you may do me a service and tell him yourself,”Alfred opened the back door with a slight flourish to show the billionairehimself sitting in the back, drinking from a thick, glass tumbler.

“Aw, Bruce, is that autility belt under your shirt or are you just happy to see me?”

The surgeon foldshimself down to get in, eyes sparkling for the slight scowl on his old friend’sface. He pays little attention to Alfred getting back in the driver’s seat andstarting the car. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t trust me inyour city.”

Tony stick up hispointer fingers at the side of his head, wiggling them to mimic the ears on theside of the cowl.

He’s smiling likecrazy when B just rolls his eyes and takes a deep pull from the tumbler.“You’re early, even after you’ve been running the gambit at your facility andStark Industries for the past few weeks. Forgive me for being curious.”

“I had to see anotherdoctor about a job prospect.”

“The doctor we have amutual interest in?”

“That would be theone. Next time he needs to be saved, leave the tights at home. Don’t you have aWE helicopter for a reason?”

“And exactly how wouldI explain that one away?”

“You have PR people,Bruce, let them have a field day with ‘rich socialite accidentally savespeople on a crumbling bridge.’”

“That would make morework for me as Bruce Wayne. Batman is a better figurehead for that kind ofthing.”

“Figurehead? Oh,you mean the persona you’ve gone to great lengths to hide as some kindof myth or urban legend all these years? That guy just suddenly shows up in thedaytime?”

“He’s beenphotographed before, Tony. Sometimes even with other superheroes, likeSuperman and Wonder Woman. All drawback of being on a team.”

“Teams are wonderfulthings, Bruce.

“Says you.”

And from a pocket inthe door, Bruce finally has a little bit of mercy on the overworked genius bypulling out a warm travel mug with the Batman logo on the front.

Tony laughs maniacallyfor long, painful moments, earning another eye-roll. The contents, however, arejust as Alfred promised: full of caffeine and just as tasty.

After a long moment ofsatisfaction, Tony lays his head back on the cushy seat and just sighs.

“You’re pushingyourself too hard,” Bruce admonishes gently. “I’m going to send the WE chopperto pick up Jim and Steve instead.”

That wakes him up.

“Don’t you even dare,B. I’ll never forgive you.”

“I’ve made worseenemies.”

Tony doesn’t snortcoffee up his nose, but really, it’s a close thing.

“You obviously can’ttake care of yourself,” Bruce is his usual brusk, no-nonsense about it, butTony can see there’s already some kind of plan in the making. “I can seewhy the two of them have such a hard time with you.”

“Says the guy thatneeded an emergency arthroscopy for meniscus tears.”

“Then I guess I’m verylucky you were in town.”

Tony hums, but hiseyes are sparkling. “How is the knee doing by the way?”

“It hurts when I breaksomeone’s jaw. Other than that, it’s fine.” And because it’s Bruce, he wavesit away without a second thought.

Tony hums again, buthis eyes go down to the knee in question.

Bruce sips his drinkagain while Alfred continues driving and Tony makes him wait for it.

Finally, once they’repassing the old Mylar building, B looks at him head-on, “all right. What did hehave to say?”

Trying not to grin,Tony shrugs a shoulder, “you’ve got nothing to worry about. Drake is staying inGotham, even with the more-than-generous offer I’ve made him. Believe me, B,I’m not happy about it, but he doesn’t seem too keen on leaving Mercy General.”

And as Tony is well-awarein their long and industrious friendship, the real Bruce Wayne is like a closedbook, doesn’t let even the smallest twitch break his facade (well, except infront of his boys, which is when BatDad makes an appearance), but thesigns of relief are really hard to miss for someone that literally kept B’sright arm moving after that rotator cuff injury.

“Dick and Jay will behappy to hear that, I suppose.” Tony observes with false cheer becausehonestly, who wouldn’t put two and two together at this juncture.

(Bruce isn’t the onlydetective. As a surgeon, Tony has to deduce with little evidence, so it’s notreally a shocker to find out the vigilantes have a doctor for a sweetie. Smartmove all around.)

“…yes, they will.Tim…?”

“He didn’t have to.You just told me yourself, Mr. Wayne.”

At the frown, Tonygives himself a mental point. The day he can get one up on the Batman is reallya day he needs to remember.

“All right, fine. Jayand Dick might have mentioned he’s been getting attention outside Gotham. I’vealready taken some steps to try making it seem like staying in the city mightbe a better deal.”

And Tony’s jaw drops,“you’ve been trying to get Mercy to partner with WE! That’s why they aren’tplaying nice with Pepper! Bruce, you devil.”

“Demon, actually, ifyou believe the stories,” and now it’s Bruce smirking into his tumbler. “We’lltalk more about it over dinner. Besides, the Batcomputer is on the fritz again.You can dazzle me over filet mignon.”

“Flatterer. How can Ipossibly say no?”

Bruce taps theintercom to tell Alfred they’re ready to go back to the Manor and Dr. Starkwill be joining them for the evening. Alfred gives him an affirmative and the planis set into motion. If there just happens to be a comfortable surfacefor Tony to pass out on during the visit, well, the pictures for Jim and Stevewould be well-worth the effort.

**

The conversation withTony didn’t end well, leaving him with a mental hangover by the time his shiftis finally over.

Night hadn’t startedbreaking away into dawn yet, so he’s still walking by dark alleys where thestreet lights are flickering.

He gets out a, “whatthe fuck–!?” before he’s just suddenly swept up off his feet by a strongarm holding him up hundreds of feet in the air.

Really, he should beused to things like this by now.

Robin undoubtedly givesno shits about how tight he’s holding onto the doctor or, the obviousdifferences in their height as punctuated by the botched landing, putting himliterally on his ass.

“Wow, thanks for the warning,Rob. I really didn’t need legs anyway.”

In some way that mightactually show he’s sorry, Robin bends down to pick up the cane and handsit over so Tim can get back on his feet.

“Alright, what’s goingon? Where are you hurt?” He doesn’t bother with niceties, just grips Robin bythe bicep and turns him, uses the cane to hold the cape out of the way. “Pleasetell me no one stabbed you because wouldn’t that just be ironic?”

He sees no blood ortorn suit. Takes a second look just to make sure.

Robin, in a creepyparody of his conversation with Tony earlier in the evening, is silent.

“Rob? Robin, what isit?”

A litany of oh shitruns through his brain pain in the form of toxins, mind control, and bloodborne pathogens (oh my).

“I have beeninformed,” the youngest vigilante starts slowly, “you are considering other opportunitiesoutside of Gotham, Drake.”

He blinks once. Doesit again while staring down at the whiteouts.

“Opportunities? Rob–Dami,what are you talking about?”

“Facilities are vyingfor you, offering you more advantages than any in Gotham possibly could.I understand the temptation of such offers–”

“Whoa, what? Wait aminute. Just. Wait.”

“However,” Robin goeson, his tone low in the night, “I am here to offer you a bargain.”

And that in no waywhatsoever sound anything less than ominous. Like, ‘I’ll promise not to takeout your spleen’ kind ominous.

He leans down a littleso the crime fighter doesn’t have to look up at him, “First: yes, I’ve gottensome job offers. It’s nice they’re thinking of me, really, but those offers arebased off a one-time emergency incident, not because they’ve seen me inaction or know anything about my…hobbies. They’re not offering a jobto me, Dami. Do you get that?”

The ensuing silenceand Bat-stillness are signs of the younger processing.

“Besides, I choseto come back to Gotham when I could have gone pretty much anywhere after myinternship with Stark Medical. You have no idea how many places wantedme on staff after I survived Tony Stark. If I wanted a job outside of the city,I could have had it in spades. The point is I chose to be here. I wantedto stay, and that? Isn’t going to change, okay? No bargains, no threats,nothing. I’m not leaving–”

He stops himselfbefore saying I’m not leaving Dick and Jay because really, he isnot, repeat Not talking to Dami about his relationship. Poor kid mightbe traumatized for life, so nope, not happening.

(Their last littleconvo to the vibe of ‘harm my brother and I shall eviscerate you per one ofyour textbooks. I shall do it slowly and methodically. Your screams would nottrouble me’ turned into a pretty good discussion on the best possiblescenario in effectively ripping someone’s spine out. His argument against thelogistics of it had spurned Robin out of the killing mood).

The obvious relief inthe small crime fighter is right there in how his shoulders sag just slightly.

“So, you’re going tohave to put up with me saving your ass when you do stupid shit like take on anarmy of zombified Jokers without backup.”

“Then…I shall haveno other option but to deal with your meddling when necessary,” the youngerwaves off his concern, but a corner of his mouth is tilted up just enough tonotice.

**

It’s really nice ofDami to drop him off on his fire escape. Walking would have been fine, but whenyou can travel Air-Robin, well, why not?

He pushes his windowup and gingerly eases in, maneuvering the cane to steady his leg. Hands are onhim before his head is inside and he wacks himself a good one in surprise.

Dick is smiling gentlydown at him, still gripping his elbow to steady him.

“That sounded like ithurt,” is a failed attempt at a joke because the mirth doesn’t reach the darkblue of Dick’s eyes.

Oh. OH. Welp, that’swhere Dami got this nonsense from, is it?

His stern lecture isgoing to have to wait for at least one cup of half-way decent coffee because hereally need to wind it up so the message hits home.

Jay is already there,his chair pulled out from the kitchen table and the pot filled with somethingdarker than the night.

“Hi honey,” he tiredlycalls, “did my boys have a good time kicking the shit out of bad guys tonight?”

Making grabby hand athim, Dick is one of his hugging moods, and pretty much lifts him off hisfeet to nuzzle/carry him to the table where blessed coffee awaited. Fine.Lecture pending.

He gets a last goodnuzzle to the face before the smell of pizza hits and a plate appears in frontof him. Jason leans down to blow a breath across his jugular before his mouthpresses just enough to be a kiss, the usual effect takes his nerve endings up anotch or two before the tease pulls away.

The three of them eatin sluggish silence, the strain of their night jobs hitting a little close tohome. The call of a communal shower and their large, comfortable bed a siren’ssong to the over-worked, sleep-deprived do-gooders.

But Tim knows them bynow, knows what’s already running them further down.

Through the last yearof their relationship, they’d already been through the whole we’re puttingyou in danger just by being with you argument.

Yes, yes it possiblywas.

Yes, he is fullyaware.

Yes, he can make hisown choices fuck you very much.  Apparently, his no, not changing mymind is going to come out for a second time tonight.

“Robin picked me up onthe way home,” he starts out while the two of them are finishing up and lookingless likely to start up arguing before he’s made his point.

“Dami was still out?”

“What? Baby Bat ain’tget enough in that warehouse down on 23rd?”

Tim finishes off hiscoffee and finally sets his eyes on first Jason and then Dick. “Going to ask mewhat he wanted?”

Both crime fighters gostill, doing that eye slide thing they can still pull off with a domino andhelmet.

“Lay it on us,Timmers.”

“He pretty much askedwhat offer I was accepting for some mystery job half a continent away,”and now he’s glaring, eyes narrowing when Dick looks quickly away and Jasonsits back with a tense jaw jutting out.

“Which is absolutelyfucking ridiculous considering I like right where the hell I am.Where could he have heard such a thing, I wonder?”

Oh yeah, that’s Dick’sguilty expression.

“It’s fine if theywant to offer me a position, but the nice thing about it is that I can politelydecline, you know.”

“Top twenty facilitiesin the world, Timmy?” Dick’s voice is softer than he’d like, shakingly unsurefor a vigilante that literally risks his life every night to keep peoplehe doesn’t even know safe. “That’s not something to take…lightly.”

His mouth drops openwith an are you even kidding me?

“‘Sides,” Jayintejects without really looking at him, “ain’t like this is the fucking centero’ the world fer a fella like you, Sweets. Smart, sassy, moves like yerass is on fucking fire when someone’s on the line. Ya got moreguts than anyone outta the cape I ever met.”

“Gotham doesn’t haveto be the hill you die on,” Dick picks up, looking down into the sludge left atthe bottom of his coffee mug, “we would absolutely understand andsupport you if you even wanted to look into any of these places–”

“Even go ta seewhatcha might be lookin’ at,” Jay shrugs indifferently, “make sure ya’d findsomewhere safe ta build a nest.”

“The kind oftechnology they could offer you would be, like, ground-breaking stuff and…andGotham just can’t give you that, Tim.”

“No motherfuckersgonna break inta yer shit, I guaran-fucking-tee ya on that.”

“It’s not just beingin the ER or in surgery, it’s moving up to management or teaching or being afull-time researcher with grants and–and everything.”

“Make a safe routethere n’ back, you feel me? Me n’ Dickie’ll scope it out a few days, check the scene.”

“We would never wantto hold you back, baby. Not when the only thing Gotham has to offer you isexploding bridges and insane mad men that kidnap you and ninjas that are readyto attack at any second, and…and Timmy, you could never be safe, notreally, not here. Not even with us and B and Dami and everyone else,it’ll never be completely safe for you.”

“But fucking believeit, Timmers, we’ll make any place ya wanna lay yer head down as safe as wecan, yeah?”

“We…we love you, andwe want the best for you.”

“If leavin’ is what’sbest, Sweets, then we’ll make it fucking happen.”

It’s DIck’s voicecracking and Jay’s shiny, averted eyes that end it for him right then andthere.

He shoves himself upfrom the table abruptly, a jarring motion. The sound of the chair fallingbackwards a loud clatter against the softness of their voices. He keeps a handon the table top to walk around the damn thing and almost strangle Jason bylooping an arm around the base of his throat and pull the Red Hood into hischest. He holds out his other hand to Dick, glaring with the best of hisabilities.

It’s a tremulous thingwhen Dick rises tiredly out of his seat and takes that hand, lets Tim pull himover and secure the both of them to him.

“I’m going to say thisbecause it’s obvious the two of you are too tired to use your detective skillsfor anything more than superficial clues.”

Slowly, Jay’s face isin his stomach, arms wrapping around his waist while Dick secures his chest,the two of them almost holding him up.

“After all thefighting I’ve had to do to get here, to get this far, I’m not giving up jackshit. I run the gauntlet because that exactly where I want to be. I staywith my people because that’s my fucking team and no, I don’t wantor need another. I can watch Layla grow up into this kick ass little person andmake sure Steph has someone to Netflix and chill with while we kill a pint ofBen & Jerry’s. But what matters the most, what I can’t fucking give upis being here with the two of you in whatever capacity I can. Asyour boyfriend, as your surgeon, as the guy that is totally, you know, inlove with you. As someone that can share your lives like this. All of it isexactly what I want and what I get to choose. You two? Don’t get to tellme what’s best for me. I decide that. Got it?”

The quiet, still menattached to him give half-shuffling nods where they’re buried in him.

“I don’t want to hearanything else about leaving Gotham, like at all, okay? The answer is no.I’m not going anywhere to tour the facilities or listen to stupid speechesabout what they have to offer or how good the benefits package is. None of thatshit. They can’t offer me my ER, they can’t offer me time doing research in theBatCave, they can’t let me play around with alien DNA for a minute, and theycan’t give me you two. So? No. Case closed.”

Dick lets up justenough for him to tilt Jay’s head back and lean down to slide their lipstogether, giving the Red Hood a little something to seal the deal. Those eyesare bluer when he pulls back, making him smirk before he straightens up to giveDick the same treatment.

(Because they’re bothtall, he has to pull them down to effectively fuck his tongue in their mouths.Such a pain in the ass.)

When he pulls back,Dick gasps in a little, tightens his hold around Tim’s chest.

But the reliefpervades the air between them, giving him a reason to go a little more lax,just to feel them pretty much ready to hold him up completely.

“So the plan is,”he continues easily, one hand on the back of Jay’s neck to rub the tensionaway, and the other gripping Dick’s wrist tight enough to bruise tomorrow, “weget a nice, hot shower with plenty of scrubbing and maybe a little play time.Then, we climb in bed and pass the fuck out. You can fix your suits tomorrow,and we’ll all feel up to having dangerous acrobatic vigilante sex after about eight hours. If you’re both good,I’ll…I’ll wear that thing you got me for my birthday. Deal?”

He knows he’s alreadygot their acquiescence when both his boyfriends noticeably perk.

“That sounds like adeal to me,” Dick tries to be mock-grave, but he’s laughing in the back ofTim’s neck, running his nose over the knob of bone.

“Fucking righteous,Sweetheart. I been waiting ta see that.” Jay is grinning up at him with thatlook– all kinds of anticipation without any of the previous hesitation.

“Good. Peel yourselvesoff of me and lets get naked. For mostly clean purposes. Or not. Really, I’mpretty beyond compromised, so I’d probably like to make you both come at leastonce before I’m unconscious.”

“Sweet-talker,” Dickteases and steps to the side so he can be the first to lift their civilianboyfriend up in a princess hold that has become way too reminiscent in the pasttwo months.

“He’s just talkin’ my language, ‘at’s all, Baby Boy,” Jaystands to give him a fast n’ dirty before he gets their mugs to the sink andfills them with water to wash tomorrow. He hits the lights and follows his boysdown the hallway where slippery skin and things like I’m not giving upare waiting.

#doctor!tim #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #winter answers #my fic #my writing #this really was fun babe #bruce wayne #with guest star #tony stark #dr!tim

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #167: Tomorrow Dies Today!

January, 1978

Oh hey the Guardians of the Galaxy! Not the ones more known these days and never at the same level of popularity but an interesting bunch just the same!

I’ve been actually thinking of going and reading some of the original team original run.

On this cover, Beast punches a guy in the face and the rest of the Avengers are like hey slow your roll this is a crossover not a hero vs hero event.

Anyway, we start off killing tomorrow today with a priority communications alarm interrupting him from his shower.

You’d think that since its a communications alarm and not necessarily an emergency, he could continue showering and let someone else take the call and if it is an emergency then someone can knock on the door and let him know.

Like, I understand that with the stuff the Avengers deal with its good to stay on your toes but Beast is completely covered in hair. When he starts a shower, its a long, inevitable process that should be seen to until the end.

Otherwise he’s going to drip everywhere and probably smell like dog.

He’s not even the only one who is not ready. Scarlet Witch is half dressed.

And Steve “I probably go on a ten mile run every morning for fun” Rogers criticizes Beast for not getting up to shower at 0600.

Beast, Cap, and Scarlet Witch arrive at the communications center to find Vision already there.

Also, why do they have so many chairs in here? This is more chairs than they have in their living room.

A lot of the Avengers equipment is a mystery to me. They seem like they have a lot of the typical superhero headquarters monitoring equipment but also they so often wait for problems to happen on the news before they notice them.

Anyway, it actually is an emergency so Beast would have had to interrupt his shower anyway.

Nick Fury is on the horn and he tells them to turn on the feed from the Avengers’ monitoring satellite because of course they have one of those and need to watch the news anyway.

Per Fury’s request, they focus the Avengers satellite on the SHIELD space station. Weirdly they can’t see any stars behind the station. Just an endless wall of white.

Beast zooms out and-

AHHHHHHHHHH UNICRON HAS COME AT LAST TO DEVOUR OUR WORLD!

Galactus is going to be miffed.

Except no. This looks like a double Unicron. Which is possibly twice as bad.

Apparently this giant structure popped out of nowhere and its orbit is going to smash the SHIELD station all over it in a couple hours.

So the Avengers assemble to finish getting dressed and also to go check out a mysterious huge space thing.

Like I said, this is the huge space thing portion of their lives.

On the station, playboy industrialist Tony Stark claims he has urgent business on Earth.

Nick Fury is like no shit of course I’m not letting you get smashed with the rest of us you dink, get on a shuttle and go.

Fun fact: the SHIELD space station is where Steven Lang’s Project: Armageddon set up shop. And coming up to space to stop him is what led to Jean Grey becoming the Phoenix.

Secretly, Tony Stark has to get back to Earth so he can change into Iron Man and lead the Avengers back up here.

Double lives are hard.

Meanwhile, Thor and Wonder Man are enjoying some bonding time in a diner.

Thor confesses that some mysterious force has been transporting him back to Earth every time the Avengers need his help. Which has to be every couple of days. Its almost as if he’s being displaced through time.

Wonder Man goes wow cool uh I’ll be no help figuring that out but as long as we’re here maybe you can give me some advice.

Wonder Man: “You see... sometimes I -- I feel as though I’m not man enough to be a super man!”

-interrupting Avengers beeper says no time for feels, time for punches-

So Wonder Man and Thor fly back to Avengers’ Mansion.

But they have to wait because Iron Man still hasn’t joined them.

And when he does show up, Cap goes off on him.

Iron Man: “Sorry I’m late, group!”

Captain America: “You’re sorry you’re late? A hundred men might die up there, and --”

Iron Man: “Then shut up and get into the ship!”

Also, new Quinjet! Space Quinjet!

Only minutes later, the Avengers have arrived on the SHIELD station. Which is... really impressive.

But since it took them so long (because of Iron Man), there’s no time left for anything fancy. The big double Unicron is only half a mile away.

Now the only option is to spacesuit up (except for Thor and Vision), rocket across to an opening that the station’s brand new Stark computer pinpointed, and find a way to redirect or destroy the giant space thing in... fifteen minutes.

Geez.

I’m pretty sure fifteen minutes wouldn’t even get you from one side to the other of that thing.

But the Avengers do rocket across. And the opening that the computer found was an airlock. And interestingly, they find that the atmosphere inside the station is breathable and even chemically perfect for humans!

Now that is interesting. Does that mean that this is a human construction?

Not necessarily. The Avengers never had trouble breathing on Skrull ships or Thanos’ giant H, or even on the Kree homeworld.

I mean maybe the chemically perfect line signifies that even beyond everyone in space breathing the same thing except that one group of aliens that kidnapped that lung expert, that this construct has a human friendly atmosphere.

Iron Man weighs in. Atmosphere or not, whether the occupants are humanoid or not, this construct is far beyond the capabilities of any Earthly power.

Boring and also a waste of time says Cap.

And he steps up and takes charge, giving everyone a directive.

They should split up to cover more ground.

And while that would usually be a bad idea on a space station that appeared out of nowhere and could contain any number of alien nasties, the simple fact is that they have a vanishingly small amount of time.

Splitting up is the only way to cover any significant amount of territory.

So Vision and Wanda are one team. Wonder Man and Cap another. Thor and Iron Man another. And Beast is on his own because they have an odd number of people.

Although Beast wonders why he’s the one without a partner. He used mouthwash that morning!

Meanwhile, while Iron Man dismisses Thor’s concern that Iron Man might be troubled over Cap taking charge, in reality he is troubled.

Iron Man: “On the other hand it’s no secret what Cap thinks of my leadership! I suspect his resentment is growing and getting personal! With the stakes the team is playing for, that kind of dissension can lead to sudden death!”

Maybe its time to consider whether someone without their own book should lead the team then.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Beast is climbing through the air ducts or perhaps Jefferies tubes. And actually Cap had a point splitting him off like this. Beast is the only one who has the agility to crawl through tubes like this.

Good call, Cap!

But when he pokes his head out of the Jefferies air duct, someone grabs him and yanks him out like a radish.

Hey, its Charlie-27! From a race engineered to live on Jupiter, he’s about 11 times stronger and denser than a normal human being.

Also, its Nikki Gold! Raised on Mercury, she has high resistance to heat and most radiation and also HER HAIR IS FIRE.

And the thing is, they don’t think Beast is an enemy. They think he’s some kind of ugly alien space monkey that can also parrot words like a raven.

Beast refuses to put up with that sitting down dangling by his scruff so he kicks Charlie-27 in the face and starts bouncing all over the room.

Nikki tries to shoot Beast because, hey, he’s a rude monkey. But he’s bouncing so fast she can’t get a bead on him despite having aim adjacent to Annie Oakley’s.

But then Beast tries to tackle Charlie-27 and just bounces off. Because dang. Remember? Eleven times more massive than a normal person? Its rather like Beast just tried to jump kick a brick wall.

Before possibly breaking a toe kicking a guy built like a brick house, Beast also muses on the weirdery of the two of them speaking English.

Which again isn’t so odd. Universal translators exist. And a lot of aliens speak English.

But all these things like the atmosphere and aliens speaking English? This time they signify something other than narrative convenience.

Nikki jumps to confront the dazed Beast but with a RRRAK! a coherent light burst separates the two.

The rest of the Guardians have shown up, specifically Starhawk who tells Charlie-27 and Nikki to stand down.

Starhawk: “This fighting must cease! I sense that he is not evil! Accept the word of one who knows!”

Lets run up the line.

Blue guy red fin is Yondu Udonta and he is absolutely familiar if you only know Guardians from the movies. Like in the movies, he has special arrows that he can control through whistling. But in the comics he also uses a bow. He is from Alpha Centauri which kind of breaks the theme of the Guardians all being humans but adapted for life on different planets of the solar system.

Unlike the movies, Yondu is portrayed as noble savage IN SPACE. Going with that he has an intuitive and mystical rapport with nature. IN SPACE! Making him a space Alabaman was probably a better idea.

Next there is Starhawk. In the movie he was Sylvester Stallone and very disappointed in Yondu. In the comics, he’s just weird. He was conceived on Earth, was born on Vesper, and was raised on Arcturus IV. He has a grab bag of powers like flight, super strength, light manipulation and being the one who knows thanks to being empowered by the Hawk God. He’s also in an on-again off-again fusion with an Aleta Ogord. He’s basically weird.

Next is Martinex. His people were genetically-engineered to colonize Pluto so he’s made of silicon crystal instead of meat. He can also siphon heat out of the environment or vent it. Which lets him shoot heat rays or cold beams somehow.

And finally we have Vance Astro, Major Victory. He’s another weird one. He was sent on a mission to help colonize Centauri IV, put in cryogenic hibernation, and woke up to find that he wasted his damn time because faster travel had been invented and people got there before him. And now he has to stay in his astronaut suit or age rapidly. Also also, he has psychokinesis. And also his younger self became New Warrior Marvel Boy and probably ruined his chances of becoming an astronaut by killing his abusive dad.

Comics are weird.

Beast doesn’t know this though. He just sees a bunch of asshole aliens who are still calling him monkey so he jumps to attack Charlie-27′s face.

But is interrupted when Mjolnir flies by, snags him in its loop and drags him away. Which is damn good trajectory control.

Anyway, despite split up gang we’ll cover more ground, the Avengers have reassembled off-screen and apparently recognize the Guardians from prior team-ups. With Cap in Marvel Two-in-One #5 and with Thor in Thor Annual #6.

And now Major Victory recognizes the Avengers. Because he is from this time period and oh man oh geez the Avengers are his heroes! He used to dream of meeting them!

So a potential misunderstanding fight cut off before it began and the teams introduce themselves.

And no worry about the SHIELD station. The Guardian’s meteor deflectors will gently shove it out of the way instead of running into it. This whole mission was pointless!

Except as set-up. And honestly, even if the Guardian’s station wasn’t going to run into the SHIELD station, I’d hope that they’d be interested in why a giant space thing appeared.

Thor recaps his crossover with the Guardians because it happened so recently he hadn’t had a chance to put it in the Avengers files yet and also because the details are relevant.

He teamed up with the Guardians to invade Korvac’s Wonderworld. Who is Korvac?

He was a collaborator with the Badoon when they conquered the Sol System IN THE FUTURE. But they caught him napping at work one day so they grafted his upper body to his work station because the Badoon are dicks.

So obviously he turned on them and started a plan to conquer the cosmos by trying to make Earth’s Sun go nova.

Aw dangit, Thanos, you trendsetter!

The Guardians plus Thor were able to thwart Korvac’s plan and minions but Korvac escaped by traveling back in time to the year this year.

They’re not sure what he’s planning but when a guy who tried to blow up the Sun goes back in time you just have to kind of assume its nothing good. For instance, Major Victory’s past self is currently a child on Earth. If Korvac kills young Vance Astro, then Major Victory never gets frozen like a space Captain America and never goes on to form the Guardians.

So they have to stop him. Except if its on Earth, Major Victory can’t get involved. Two Vance Astros on Earth would mess up the time stream.

(Beast you were right there for this conversation, why did you think bringing the original X-Men into the present from the past was a good idea??)

Meanwhile, on Earth, Janet Van Dyne makes her debut as a fashion designer.

I had been wondering where she and Hank (Pym) were. Sort of weird that they didn’t get paged about this though. There’s a giant thing in space and they buzz Thor and Wonder Man away from dinner but Jan doesn’t get called away from her fashion show.

Maybe she left her bleeper at home.

Anyway, also in the crowd is Kyle Richmond, aka Nighthawk, aka Not-Batman. He’s usually on the Defenders, being a jerk, but Yellowjacket is sometimes doing stuff with the Defenders so maybe that’s why he’s here.

He does comment to himself that it’s weird for him to sit through a fashion show.

Kyle Richmond also notices a weirdo sitting next to him in the crowd. Wearing a tux in this day and age and sitting like a statue. He doesn’t react to anything until a model named Carina Walters takes a turn down the catwalk in a sultry summer jumpsuit.

Kyle being the kind of person he is, sees that this weirdo stranger reacts to Carina and thinks “Forget it, pal! You’re not her type!”

You’re a gem, Kyle.

And then Porcupine busts in to rob the place.

Just his luck that he chose to rob a place where three superheroes were chilling. Porcupines are seriously unlucky.

Hank Pym and Janet waste no time shrinking down to shoot the robbers with tiny blasts.

Janet was also far-thinking enough to have her dress made from unstable molecule cloth so she wouldn’t have to fly around naked just in case a supervillain tried to rob her fashion show.

Its this kind of forethought that made her one of the better chairpeople that the Avengers ever had.

Just saying. Civil Wars don’t happen when Jan runs the show.

And while the rest of the audience panics and flees and screams, the mysterious tux weirdo continues to calmly sit in his seat.

Kyle Richmond managed to sneak off and change into his costume and I don’t even know where he managed to hide the wings because they would not fit under his civilian clothes.

But anyways, he helps punch people that dare ruin Jan’s big debut.

Including a guy that hesitates from shooting at Nighthawk because he doesn’t want to go up on a murder rap. Nighthawk makes the very valid argument that not making a decision is a way of making a decision and unnamed robber made the right decision.

What a weird segment. I hope no-shoot criminal turns his life around.

Anyway, the tuxedo weirdo shows up where Carina is tending to a fainted Mrs. Lichterdale. And he silently offers her a hand.

And without a word spoken she feels his desire but also his offer and without a word spoken she departs with him.

And they seem to teleport or something from the scene while the heroes are distracted shooting Porcupine with pink and yellow zaps until he finally falls down.

Only after the villains are all unconscious does Mrs. Licherterdale inform Jan that Carina is missing along with Jan’s sultry summer jumpsuit.

Hank is sure that she just got frightened and ran off somewhere. She’ll turn up!

Jan: “I hope! That was my favorite outfit!”

Oh Jan!

So here we go again. Once again we take our first step into a run defining story arc. It was only back in May that I started the Celestial Madonna Saga and now here we are once again on the front porch of a long saga I have mixed feelings about.

The Korvac Saga.

The Shooteriest part of Shooter’s run on Avengers.

At the least, we’re going to get some more time with the Guardians. The downside to not having a misunderstanding fight is that if you’re solely following Avengers, we haven’t really seen what they can do yet.

And they have some good batshit stuff that they get up to. Like the giant double Unicron station? Its called Drydock. It was a, well, drydock and training facility. When the Badoon invaded, the commander used its experimental warp drive to keep the station out of Badoon hands. But warp radiation killed the entire crew.

In an almost Red Dwarfian move, the computer needed people to give it orders. So it created a simulated crew to tell it what to do. Except the simulated commander went insane and captured the Guardians of the Galaxy to create a clone army of friends. So Charlie-27 had to run the gauntlet of the station’s security and shut down the computer.

That stuff right there? That’s amazing. And I don’t mind at all if the Guardians are hanging around bringing that kind of craziness to the Avengers.

Oh and also, I guess there’s the mystery of what Korvac is up to and whether the tuxedo weirdo is related. I already know the answer but what are you going to do? Google information?

Pssah.

#Essential Avengers #korvac saga #Avengers #Guardians of the Galaxy #Iron Man #Captain America #Yellowjacket #the Wasp #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #Thor #Wonder Man #Beast #Charlie 27 #Nikki Gold #Vance Astro #Starhawk #Yondu #Martinex #Nighthawk #Porcupine #I guess he's technically the antagonist of this issue but eh he goes on the end of the cast list #two superhero teams meet up and barely fight at all #good job avengers and guardians #just another giant space thing in the lives of the Avengers #Essential marvel liveblogging

[gaarfielf]

my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some

Castle of Cagliostro (10)

favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.

Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)

Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.

Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)

Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.

The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)

The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.

Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)

The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol

Hemingway Papers (8)

They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing

Return the Treasure (7)

Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)

From Siberia With Love (7) 

The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.

Elusiveness of the Fog (7)

Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.

Pilot Film (7)

That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long

Another Page (7)

Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.

Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)

The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.

Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)

i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.

Sweet Lost Night (6)

I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.

Dead or Alive (6)

The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.

Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)

Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.

Napoleon's Dictionary (6)

Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?

Mystery of Mamo (6)

Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.

Red vs Green (5)

Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.

Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)

They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.

Dragon of Doom (5)

I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.

Voyage to Danger (4)

tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.

First Contact (4)

I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.

Columbus Files (4)

This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.

Seven Days Rhapsody (3)

The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.

Alcatraz Connection (2.5)

Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.

Missed by a Dollar (2.5)

Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??

Gold of Babylon (2)

This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.

Angel Tactics (2)

TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.

Harimao’s Treasure (2)

nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.

Twilight Gemini (2)

this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.

Princess of the Breeze (2)

How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.

Return of the Magician (1)

I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.

#i feel like im missing a lot

[driftingglass]

Do you use an outline when you write your fics? Ive only followed you for a month or so so sorry if you've already explained this in the past. You write so quickly that it seems to me either you are REALLY good at following/expanding on an outline or you're writing by the seat of your pants. I'm having trouble starting a fic, the beginning just isn't working the way I want. I don't know how to get from A to B, and I wanted advice from you since you can zip from plotpoint to plotpoint with ease.

Oh man this is a loaded question. (I live for this stuff.) 

Okay, I’ll do my best to help you out here, Anon. I don’t create outlines for everything I write, in all honesty. In fact, some of my works start out as impulsive pieces and gets spurred out of the moment because I have little to no control sometimes when I want to “ride on the wave of a new idea.”

I can even tell you through and through which works of mine do and don’t have outlines. You can probably tell with the writing and how they’re progressing. And yes I write very, very fast, but this is both a good and bad thing. Sometimes they come out too quickly and could easily use extra time to refocus and rehash certain plot points and details that need further emphasis. 

All of these works have had different processes in how they began. 

Honestly, when it comes to “writing by the seat of your pants” and “expanding on an outline,” a lot of the time it can become a mixture of both because of how the story plays out. 

You may realize that you want to actually take it in a different direction, or change the ending or dialogue, so you have to go back and make changes that suit the new steps you want to take. Sometimes the stories have a mind of their own. They can be rude like that.

I’ll share with you the creative backdrop processes for my more multichapter fics below.

My Hunter x Hunter fanfic, Wayward Souls, was borne from a very extensive outline after I wrote the first two paragraphs. I went off the handle with it, and changed the ending twice to accommodate the changes I wanted to make to the overall story. Now, it’s moving swimmingly, but the conclusion is always the hardest part.

My Hunter x Hunter fanfic series, The Afterschool Library Chronicle, has no outline whatsoever. That’s kind of why it’s split up into a series. I hadn’t intended for it go the direction it went, and as it comes towards its conclusion, I’m glad that it was written that way. Sometimes the story just flies off the handle itself and you have to somehow trust the process. 

My BNHA fanfic, Before Midnight, had a similar process to Wayward Souls. That one just kinda… fell together. The plot points became more prevalent to me after the third chapter. Then, I knew what I wanted for the story. The notes for that one are more scattered and I know the ending and the climax already, but the steps to get there have changed for the better. It also helps craft a decent mystery (not excellent, but decent).

My BNHA fanfic, Alexithymia, has been the least difficult story to outline because it’s relatively simple by comparison. There’s less worldbuilding, but still rules and customs I had to make up in order to do it. It’s similar to the canonical universe of the anime/manga with the already widely understood A/B/O Dynamics. I mostly wrote the first chapter out of spite because I normally hate that particular AU genre quite a bit.

In all honesty, Anon, it depends on what you enjoy writing to begin with. It’s better for me to use outlines in my works because my mind constantly strays and I need a mechanical structure to remind me of where I want to go, especially when one plot thread leads to another one much later. 

Outlines help me mostly because I almost only write pretty broad Alternate Universe stories with my own rules, including self-created magic systems, political systems, scenery, geography, history, and so forth. That’s just part of how I think as a writer. 

So, outlines work better for me to keep track of where the hell I’m going most of the time, especially with these broad, intense universes. 

It can help with consistency and planning, and so, I could recommend several approaches you could take for this process in outlining/beginning your work. 

For one thing, every story has its own pace. 

In this article, well-known author Marie Lu discusses the process between writing two completely different series and how she needed to change up her routine to basically mold her style and process to fit both of them. It’s definitely worth taking a look if you’re struggling with even beginning with your ideas.

Now, when you go back to your story, instead of focusing entirely on how to get from point A to point B, think about what your entire story is to begin with. Craft a graph, or an outline, or even a spreadsheet (all of them help) and visually write down what you want to happen for your story. 

Some keynotes I want to address here before you start this exercise. 

Who is your protagonist? What is their goal? Their motivation? What obstacle are they intending to overcome?

Who is the antagonist? Or what is the antagonistic force? Basically, what is stopping your protagonist from reaching their goal?

What changes will your protagonist go through in your story, for what purpose and for what reason? Every solid story follows a protagonist going through some change and a “point of never return,” so to speak.

What are the rules in your universe? Do these changes need to be thought out more before you start writing? 

Where is your fic/story taking place? 

What are the most prevalent themes and ideas behind your story?

Why do you want to write this fic/story to begin with?

What are the three high points and three low points of your story? (Approximately). These will determine the steps from your introduction, to your rising action, to your climax, to your falling action and then your conclusion. 

There are many, many articles you can turn to to help with this process. Even the most successful authors struggle with this exact thing. 

Also, Anon. Writing is hard. Honestly, it’s the hardest task, yet the most rewarding, depending on your effort and ability to be patient with your setbacks. I’ve spent years crafting outlines and meticulously plotting out points for original works that still haven’t seen the light of day because of either major plotholes I discovered or other mechanical factors that didn’t work. 

Whether you’re outlining or just writing impulsively, the story will move on its own. Patience is an absolute must, and the ability to take and process constructive criticism from both yourself and your peers. 

Start with looking at the overall work you have planned, and then go through to find out how you want to break up each scene and plot point into chapters. 

Again, maybe this process won’t work for you at all, but in order for me to take control of my stories and to write quickly, I needed to spend extra hours building an outline to work off of. 

Plans will change, though, and it may just be out of your control. 

Ultimately, have fun with the process. Writing is meant to be exhilarating, hard, rewarding, but fun. Enjoy it. Let your work speak for you and please you, first, as the writer and creator of this fabulous journey that many people will be so excited to step into when it’s finally released.

I wish you the best of luck, Anon! Thank you so much for the ask!

#Let's Talk Writing #Write Write Write #Anonymous #Writing Tips #Writing Advice #Outlines #The Creative Process #Building Worlds #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Original Ideas #Wannabe Writers #Novelists #Writers #Writing Struggles #I've Got Your Back Anon #You've Got This #Be Patient #Yep These Are How These Babies Began #Oh Wayward Souls #You Troubled Child Of Mine #HxH #Hunter x Hunter #BNHA #My Fanfiction #DriftingGlass Answers #Hope This Helps

[blookmallow]

I FINALLY GOT SKYRIM MARRIED

i have a BEAUTIFUL WIFE

...who i went through a lot of shit for. this is. a lot of exposition, bear with me :’) im very invested in my character’s personal story here

so astrid had a very important special job for me and sent me to markarth to speak with the client directly

it turned out to be the apothecary’s assistant, who i was passingly familiar with already, so i imagine it was a bit of a surprise to both of us, but she got right to the point - a man broke her heart and ruined her life, used her to hurt the people close to her, abandoned her to go become a bandit, now she wants him dead

u can probably imagine where this is going,

this is the first time ive had a dark brotherhood job i was legitimately PSYCHED to carry out, you BET ill go fuck this guy up for you id do this for free

however, she also had... another request, one that wasn’t required, but something she really, really wanted

see she was very close with/practically another daughter to the shatter-shields in windhelm, the wealthy family who recently lost a daughter to the windhelm butcher

alain had manipulated her and used her to get to the shatter-shields, i dont remember if he stole from them or what happened there, but whatever it was, the shatter-shields blamed muiri for this and disowned her, throwing her out onto the streets with nothing

so she was used and had her heart broken by a man she loved, then was told it was Her Fault, and lost her home and her friends/the closest thing to family she had all at once, and was so hurt and desperate she turned to the dark brotherhood to get revenge on them all

she wanted me to kill nilsine too, the shatter-shields’ other daughter

SO we have this really complicated situation where, on the one hand, she wants alain dead for using her and ruining her life and hurting her friends, and like, he’s a bandit leader now, so he’s someone i probably would’ve easily killed off anyway, by “this is a video game not real life”/skyrim standards that’s a no brainer, i have no moral conflict with that and can’t wait to slash this guy’s head off

but on the other hand she’s so broken she wants a woman who used to be her best friend/practically her sister dead too. i dont know what nilsine’s role in this was specifically but these people were essentially her family, and they victim blamed her when she needed their support the most and threw her out with nothing and nowhere to go

and i had already done quests with the shatter-shields before this, so like, i know them too, and they’re sort of friends to me, i helped solve the mystery of their other daughter’s murder and now I’m being asked to kill the other. not to mention everyone’s going to think the butcher’s back/there’s a copycat killer/something and it’s gonna cause a panic again (even if the game doesn’t acknowledge that/directly show that happening, y’know) 

killing someone’s daughter when they’re still in mourning over the first, when they’ve come to trust you, when you’re the one who helped them gain closure over that first death already, is just. a stone cold thing to do

especially looking at it from my character’s perspective, she’d be especially torn on this because she’s a mother herself, but her children are girls she rescued from the streets - lucia was thrown away by her family, sofie was a victim of tragedy and was let down by the people in authority who should have protected and helped her

so medea would relate to tova as a mother and a friend but also relate powerfully with muiri as a victim in this

ultimately i don’t think there’s any real justification to kill nilsine here, i dont think you can really morally defend that, but. i was so drawn to muiri and wanted so badly to give her a shot at a better life and help her heal from all this, and knew she would become a marriage option if i did it bc id seen her name on the marriage options list before, her story fits in so well with medea’s, and like, i dont imagine im gonna have a lot of options for wives who would Know about my connection to the dark brotherhood/the things ive done and be okay with it, so if i went with her, there wouldn’t be a “keeping this horrible secret from my wife” aspect to deal with even though the game probably doesn’t acknowledge it if you do (i mean im still. keeping it from my kids, but. y’know. when they’re older)

and “talk this out with her and help her see how badly her mind’s been warped by the pain she’s been through” isn’t an option given to you, so

in the end i went through with it. killing alain was easy, just like any other bandit camp raid, but to get at nilsine without being caught, i had to sneak into their house when the family was asleep

which i expected would involve a lot of careful sneaking and laborious lock picking

until i realized i could just walk right in

because the door was already unlocked for me. because they consider me a friend and allow me into their home

and that somehow made it so much worse

i killed nilsine with an arrow, nobody heard a thing, and i ran for it before anyone saw me in there or realized what had happened

muiri gave me a special ring as a “symbol of her affection” for doing this, which i think is about the biggest sign i coulda hoped for lmao

i held off on considering marriage for the time though and finally decided i had to go back to windhelm to see if there was anything i could do to make amends to the shatter-shields even though they shouldn’t know it was me/make sure i didnt get seen by a guard without realizing it or something (though it wouldn’t probably matter anyway, guards saw me leave the orphanage immediately after grelod’s death and shrugged that off, so,)

my name’s still clear in windhelm, but...

tova committed suicide after she discovered what happened

she couldn’t cope with losing another daughter

so now the father is the only one left, coping with. the death of his entire family occurring within like a couple months

i didnt see what happened here i came back later so i dont know if this is something you can possibly stop or if its possible to witness the moment they find nilsine or tova’s suicide or if this just Inevitably happens whenever you come back

i feel terrible about this but theres. not really any going back now,

so. i went back to muiri

i dont know if this is what everyone says or not but her response was just. “i mean, yeah, why wouldn’t I be” i love her lmao

i wouldnt choose to get married in riften if it was up to me but thats how it be in skyrim i guess

my babies are here!!!! what!!!!

and a. random guy i dont recognize lmao :’)

just wandered in to see what was going on i guess. or maybe we’re friends and i forgot who he is entirely which would be kind of sad :’ )

maybe it was my long lost father... slipped out before i ever had the chance to realize it

however i actually. ended up doing this scene twice because, fun fact, there’s a glitch where if you don’t manage to catch up to your spouse to talk about where to live before they leave the chapel they can just fucking Disappear sometimes, :’  ) i couldnt find her anywhere after the wedding and finally looked it up and apparently she just fell into the void so i had to reload and run it again. we’re double married now

planned better this time and dressed better but anyway that elf guy didn’t appear this time but some other guy did, who i ALSO cant quite identify, he looks. maybe. kind of like lucas valerian? who is actually a friend to me and was one of the first friends i made so it’d decently make sense for him to come to my wedding, but weird if he came and camilla didn’t, and im not even sure thats him anyway, so i dont know what happened here all around

muiri’s mentor lady came too though which was sweet

im spinning this kind of as... like, medea was so drawn to her and felt so strongly for her she couldn’t bring herself to disappoint her and this was an eye opener for them both as a kind of. “look what kind of people we’ve let ourselves become” and their marriage as a new beginning, love coming from a place of desperation and darkness, starting over and hoping that the divines will forgive what they’ve done

medea’s not leaving the brotherhood but i mmmmmight try to be a little more careful about who i kill

i had intended for her to come live with me in markarth, she’s in on my. assassin life so having kind of this Other Side to my life made sense but... she met my kids at the wedding i guess and she wanted to live with them... which is really cute,

it feels really weird having this huge fancy house all to myself (and uh. argis, i guess) in markarth and having my wife and kids (and lydia, and a fox) all squished into the honestly kinda run-down whiterun house though i think im gonna work on getting the solitude house for them bc its. safer there than in markarth i feel like and ive heard thats like the fanciest/biggest house

there she is..... my Wife

she also sells things now but i feel bad accepting it when she gives me “my share” of the profit like.... babe thats your money i have so much adventuring money and i didnt do shit to help earn that,

i buy things from her sometimes but i refuse to sell her stuff bc i dont want to take any more of her money :’ )

even tho it. doesnt really matter, its video games, i know, but

found lucia, the fox, and muiri all on the bed at once

lydia was just standing like this for a rly long time after muiri moved in i guess she was suspicious but chilled out eventually :’)

gettin along finally

i just realized if we move to solitude lydia’s gonna get left behind though :(

i mean ill still come visit her but. upsetting

my one issue is that muiri still keeps saying “thank you for solving my-....problem.” every time i come in speaking distance of her which is. weird given that its the same line she had before we were married, like, she apparently doesnt get any new things to say, and is Really repetitive (imagine living in a small space with your partner and they say the same sentence with the same intonation every time you step within like 2 feet of them. how long til that gets old, do you think, ) and also its just like??? girl let that go we gotta stop dwelling on this or the kids are gonna start questioning what apparently massively important problem mommy solved

idk why she was laying on the floor but anyway my kids have started calling her “mama” now too and im not crying or anything

#lucy plays skyrim #this actually happened. a while ago but i forgot this post in my drafts bc i didnt want to deal with proofreading it lmao #Nobody Cares Except Me but my skyrim character's life is important business ok #i think im gonna marry sadri on my khajiit file eventually. he was like. my second choice/'If I Had To Pick A Dude' #and that way my dad will stop asking if my character's married anyone yet lmao i can be like o yea i married sadri #little does he know my main file is a woman with a wife and my male character's gonna have a husband. technically im not lying #hoping he wont ask to see how my house is coming along or anything lmao