#its a comfort anime of mine and i think i really needed it... and well... with the things ive heard recently on how im perceived... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

decafbat · 2 months

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i really like how much depth your art has, do you think you could show how you break down bodies when sketching if that makes sense? it’s something i struggle with a lot in my art! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

ok apologies in advance, this is probably going to be a really long and tangential rant about art that may or may not actually help you in learning how to construct bodies. im just gonna put it under a cut to save everyone from seeing this huge text wall.

i dont think its gonna be possible for you to replicate my methods here, because theyre mostly just really specific shortcuts for finding certain proportions and reference points for anatomy, which i'm fairly versed in, but not as much as i'd like to be. the shortcuts you'll need will be different from mine. im glad you think my art has depth, that is something i am trying to seek very intentionally right now, and i dont think im even close to the depth of form i am actually aiming for. so like. this makes making a tutorial kind of inherently hard. nevertheless, i threw this quick sketch together after like 3 failed attempts. (i was doing those attempts digitally, ended up giving up on that and going back to traditional because its what im most comfortable with rn)

i didnt get all the steps i took to get here because scanning that much would be cumbersome but ill try to explain how i got here. i start with the head almost every time.

i use a lot of symbolic/graphic shapes when drawing heads and dont stick to using forms very often besides the circle at the center of the head, which i use as the base to form these graphic shapes around. think of it like "wrapping" the ball in various textures and masses. the eyes are usually "textured" onto the head, notice how the her left eye looks narrower then her right. of course i try to make sure her bangs sit along the curve of the sphere and her ears look like they sit on opposite sides of the head. its easy to forget that part, making the head look unsymmetrical. the particular masses of leica's head would be her snout, which is just a curve extended slightly outside the diameter of the ball, and her hair, which are two strange organic shapes that are quite hard to draw, two hair sprig anime antennae things (forgive me, i forgot the word for them,) and the back of the head, which i usually need to extend slightly. its a little too extended here, needs more on the top, i fix this in the final pass. this was a quick sketch, so i didnt focus too hard on the forms of the head beyond the most essential ones for her design, but i sometimes highlight the form of cheeks with curved hatching, or try to make the eyes appear more sunken-in as they are on human faces. i dont know how to proportion the neck and torso correctly until i draw the head, so i always do it first. next, i did the torso.

so heres why i said that you probably wont be able to replicate this approach. you do kind of just have to practice anatomy, i cant just make it make sense because im not very good at explaining this stuff, but ill try to go through what i did here. so, i generally use simplified bone shapes to find proportions and reference points, as well as more complicated shapes like those of elbows and knees. i try to study fairly often because im not satisfied with here im at with this stuff yet. of course, i dont think i'll ever be. so i'll usually start with the ribcage, add a shoulderblade out the back to find the shoulder, the armbones come out of that, the bone in the upper arm connects to the ulna with a sort of three-pronged attachment, one big knurl in the middle, which forms the thrust of the elbow, two little ones on the side. i think those are part of the ulna but i dont remember. see, you dont really have to know what exactly they do as long as you know what they look like. the ulna does some goofy rotation shit i dont understand, connects to the wrist, and then we have a hand, which, i mean, im not good enough at hands to even be telling you how to do it, but i just have a big squarish mass and some little hotdog fingers coming out of that. you can see on her left hand that ill have a big circle forming the the area on the hand where the thumb attaches... theres more depth to the hands, i think you can easily find better tutorials then i could offer. anyway, under the ribcage theres the pelvis, represented with a box. ill get into that when i talk about the legs. i wanna briefly talk about the way i add the flesh and fat to the bones.

so, i really can't give a comprehensive crash course on anatomy, but i can point you towards the morpho series, which is where i get most of this stuff from. you can get very far with the volumes Simplified Forms, Fat and Skin, and Skeleton and Bone Reference Points. moving on, i just kind of have a feel for where the masses attach by now. the important thing to remember when drawing fat characters like this is that the fat should "hang" from the bones and flesh, drooping down slightly. leicas fat hangs substantially, so she's not very wide despite her weight. this is important to her character design i feel. i almost always draw characters naked first when doing serious drawings because it will come in handy knowing where the forms of the body are when i add the clothing. by focusing on the way her body looks naked, i can modify the impression of those forms when adding clothes, and when i add them later on in this drawing, leica will take on the distinctive boxy look i try to draw her with.

if you look at the arm, youll see that the place the line of bone sits is very high compared to the whole mass of the arm, the flesh and fat of the arm "hang" from the bone, and then the upper arm squishes against the bent forearm too. even if the anatomy in the arm is indistinct, it can still look convincing when the forms act realistically against one another. the elbow has much less fat connected to it, so its more bony then the rest. this isnt actually consistent on all people so like, think about that kind of thing when designing characters, like i was talking about before, fat can sit in infinite different ways. maybe if i was doing a more objective anatomy lesson i'd draw cath, because i do have a sort of vague understanding of muscle placement that doesnt come through here, but probably would if i was drawing a scrawnier character. let me know if you want that.

a word on the breasts too: they hang a bit lower then you'd expect, keep that in mind. the attachment point is also angled, as the line shows. the line starts roughly in the middle of the torso and ends around the armpit, but the form of the breast can go underneath the armpit or even connect around the fold of fat in the back. many things to think about. i love boob shapes. ok lets finally get on with it and talk about the legs.

so, the really specific shape of the pelvis doesnt matter that much unless youre drawing a really thin character, so its just a box here. out from the sides of the pelvis, extending out more then you'd expect, is the femur, which ends in a similar joint to the arm. this shape helps me figure out the form of the knee. two masses on each side with a bunch of complex and weirdly shaped bones forming the kneecap, which i have omitted because i dont yet know shit enough to include them. i am learning though. so, obviously the feet are just scribbles here because im just gonna put her feet in socks anyway. you really dont have to do more then you have to. a few tips i can offer here, the butt should hang a bit too when drawing fat characters, i think the butt is supposed to start just below the pelvis if i remember, but take that with a grain of salt. i also didnt really do that here but its hard to tell because she's facing mostly forward. again, i dont think i can really communicate what's going on here. morpho has a lot of great drawings explaining the shapes and muscles of the legs, all things i might focus on more when drawing a scrawnier character. for this case, i regrettably don't go too hard on the legs. also i should note that legs would usually be much longer, leica is really short so ive exaggerated the proportions to communicate that. i may change my mind on that front in the future and give her more grounded proportions. the important thing to remember with legs is just getting a nice hierarchy of forms going. bigger thigh going into smaller calf going into smaller foot. it mostly comes automatically now.

i added the clothing, shaped up her head a bit, added a bit of fur. i put her in her classic outfit, just a sweater and jeans. i enjoy the big thick folds that come out of these clothes, and big areas of white space too. its nice. i try my best to form all the folds around the forms of the body i drew earlier. thats one case where i really really have no idea what im doing and could never explain it in words. its just some fun intuitive play with loops and lines. this is at around the stage for a sketch where i'd do inks, or if it was going to be a finished pencil drawing i'd erase out parts piece by piece and replace them with nicer and more defined lines and tones.

i guess that's all i can offer , i hope that halped.

#leica #artworks

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metfell · 11 days

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What you've said about Michael has opened my eyes to new levels of anguish hitherto untapped! any further thoughts on how this...less than ideal childhood would manifest?? Its always such an interesting thing to incorporate into the baseline of the character I their habits and behaviour and such!!

GLAD YOU ASKED. i mean. obviously this is because he is in fact just a zombie piglin child in canon so its not like beeduo really HAD to be there taking care of him. but what that ends up manifesting as in canon is cbeeduo hardly ever really being there for him. tubbo is there for him more than ranboo is, because ranboo is THOUSANDS of blocks away at the commune. and so i really think it would manifest in michael not really knowing ranboo very well, and i imagine later on once uhm. the.... canon...... ending happened, that ranboo would have a HARD time raising michael on his own, because lets face it tubbo did 90% of the work there. i think it would probably lead to a lot of arguments, and michael missing tubbo a LOT.

i imagine that michael is probably a very independent kid, and i dont know if ranboo would know what to do with that. hed probably take after tubbo a LOT with his personality, which means hes stubborn as all hell and does not like to talk about how hes feeling in any kind of productive way. and its one thing to navigate that with your spouse whos on equal ground to you, and another thing entirely to navigate that with your child, especially one you realize more and more that you barely know. and ranboo is only in their 20's, so i cant even imagine how stressful that would be for both of them.

later on, i think that they would have to come to some sort of compromise and start from scratch entirely. ranboo writes down everything that michael likes, his favorite color. his favorite foods. what he likes to do for fun. and they dont talk that much about tubbo because thats a really sore spot for both of them. michaels bitter, and ranboo because of their memory problems never really stops grieving tubbo in an intense way. honestly i can see later on MICHAEL moving on and ranboo not, and that being a sore spot for them too.

michael is so fascinating because while we dont actually know his direct personality because in canon he... doesnt really have one, we can probably get an understanding of him based on what happened to him. hes most likely got some sort of social anxiety from the isolation growing up, probably tubbos brand of shoving everything down, he has his chicken so he probably would grow very attached to- if not a bunch of animals- his pets as a form of comfort rather than the people around him. there are some different possibilities for the things he enjoys as he grows up, either he tries to connect to ranboo by getting into mining and armor and tools, or he leans into tubbos likes because he mimicked him as a child and builds things, or he resents either or both of those, and becomes the type of player who mainly just explores and stays away from any kind of permanent settlement. i can honestly see him leaving his family and traveling just to get out of snowchester or the greater server. he needs to find himself, and i think neither tubbo nor ranboo grasped that because they were all HE had, but THEY had other people.

#ask #I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TAG THIS AS ILL BE REAL #beeduo posting #just for archiving

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stardewrotsession · 5 months

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Note: Midterms came and life got in the way, but now I’m back and hopefully for good! Yes, I still also have finals, but I’m slowly getting back into my Stardew phase so hopefully I stay. Anyways, enjoy!

How the Bachelors are when you’re sick:

Sam

- God he would not know what to do

- The first time you get sick, I feel like he’d internally panic and get everything from Pierre’s store to help you feel better

- After awhile he’ll understand what exactly to get you when you’re sick.

- Medicine, your favorite snacks, favorite movies, all of them

- He’d put it in a little basket too, sweet boy

- Bonus, he would not care at all about hugging and kissing while you’re sick. In fact he’d probably whine if you don’t kiss him

- In the end he would get more sick than you were

Sebastian

- he’d have a little more direction than Sam would

- He’d try to give you some medicine to help you recover, and he’d definitely get you some movies you two could watch together to pass the time

- He’d be more hesitant to cuddle though

- Physical touch has never been his strong suit in the first place

- Either way he’ll still show how much he cares, asking occasionally if you need anything or if you want him to get anything for you

Harvey

- he’s a doctor, he’s gonna immediately take care of you

- I feel like he gets a little too overprotective when it comes to your health

- I mean he’s already worried sick whenever you go on your adventures in the mines. But going sick? Not on his watch

- Unfortunately he would not even let you get out of the bed, let alone do any chores on the farm

- But its doctor’s orders right?

- Sometimes he’ll get overly technical with you about your meds, but he always means well

- If you were really sick he’d make sure to call off of work or have Maru take over for the day while he’s caring for you

Alex

- So at first he’d ask advice from his grandma.

- As much as he’d love to help, sometimes he doesn’t really know what to do to make you feel better besides medicine.

- Even with medicine he’d sometimes mix it up and get confused

- Once his grandma’s over, he’d suddenly switch from clueless to being his grandma’s helper for you

- If she’s baking you cookies? He’s getting all the ingredients and helping her mix

- Whenever she’s not over and she calls you to make sure you’re okay, Alex would be there to immediately

- Alex would also definitely help out on the farm. Moving things around, making sure the crops are watered and the animals are fed

- He doesn’t know much, but he knows you shouldn’t be doing any farm work

- And helping around the farm and carrying heavy stuff? That he knows he can do.

- Sometimes whenever he comes in from a long day out on the farm, you can see a small satisfied smile on his face

- When he feels like he’s done something to help you out, he can’t help but smile

Shane

- “Have a beer.”

- He backs off after you glare at him

- “Okay okay! Not funny, here I have some anti nausea meds if you need some.”

- He’d (begrudgingly) cuddle and hold you throughout the days that you’re sick

- He’d also run out and get some things for you if you asked, but I’m not sure if he’d go out of his way to get everything

- If you had a specific favorite or comfort food, he would pick it up though

Elliot

- Okay, imagine him reading you stories and books while you’re resting in bed.

- He’d go out of his way to get all of your favorite books and basically put on a whole play for you while reading them

- So cute

- I think he’s also be into herbal medicines from the beach or the ocean.

- Idk like seaweed soup? Something like that

- But if you didn’t like that, he would still do his best to cheer you up.

- He took on piano for a reason right? Might as well give you a small show, and from the comfort of your bed!

#stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #stardew headcanon #sdv sam #stardew #stardew valley headcanons #sdv #sdv elliot #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv harvey

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craacked-splatters · 3 months

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"I know"

"Do u want to see what I added today?"

"Sure buddy"

(insane rambling below!)

Scrapbooks! Scrapbooks! Hell yeah!!

Hello to the 5 ppl seeing this👋 Ima be real Im running on 7 hours of sleep after 5day grind brain mushy rn and I scribbled everything maniacally by memory at 3am after having one of those revelation moments so I have no idea what I'm missing lmao. This is actually the first time drawing them like this 2. Really proud of it

and B4 u ask anything hear me out.

So like tmnt2012 mutant apocalypse am I right?

Yeah it's flawed and pacings off and stuff BUT! The implications it left behind are haunting and it has been stuck in my brain for years. One of the things that stuck with me was the fact that Raph and Don had stuff like April's tessen, Mikey's stuffed bear head, The Creeps containment jar, and Casey's skull(horrifying btw) with them and that it's like :((

I fully believe it was Donnie who collected and carried them everywhere in their car. Not only for Raph(to help with this memory)but also for himself.

Why? Well maybe I'm reading 2 much into it and it's also partly a HC of mine but also bc canonically Donnie has a bit of a hoarding habit collecting trinkets and pictures and stuff. He likes to keep things around that hold a lot of significant value to him.

We see this in The Creeping Doom during the intro

AND I swear he's got a literal wall of family photos in his lab somewhere I can't for the life of me find it but I know he did! He even took some to the farmhouse with him when they escaped during the invasion.

They're memories yk? Reminders..

Ok im having difficulty expressing this shit rn words r failing so like give me ur brain 4 a sec.

Imagine ur donbot.

You're stuck in a cold metal limbo for the rest of ur last remaining family members life. Everything and everyone you knew and cared about is dead and gone. Over thousands of species and ecosystems that made ur world unique wiped out. No more animals no more wild things no more blue clear skys. Death can't come for you. Not in a way that matters anymore.

And no matter where u go you are haunted by shadows of what once was. There are so many echoes and ghosts and cultures and stories and lives that were buried & left to rot by the gaping maws of fear & the desperate need to survive. No one cares for the past and the only other person around you can't remember it. Time will claim its domain again and there will be nothing left except empty metal husks to show sentience even existed in the first place.

Like holy shit he was just a kid bro and he never got the chance to even reach full adulthood!!! I can't possibly imagine the grief and guilt he must've carried with him all those years. He lost EVERYTHING

His family. His home. His world.

Did Donnie even get the chance to mourn??? Do u think his new body allowed it? Do u think he even ALLOWED himself to mourn? He had a hurt amnesiac brother who still needed to eat, who could still starve and bleed and die if they weren't careful enough.

So between his habits and the ✨Angst✨ and human pollution, him hoarding random ass things Wall-E style and making these shitty little scrapbooks or keepsakes didn't seem so far fetched to me. I also highly doubt there was enough time or resources to build shrines or graves in the middle of apocalypse. But yk honoring/preserving the memories of the things and ppl we love is natural for us so like SORRY if its a bit cringe of me wanting him to have SOMETHING to comfort him during the really bad days.

Even if its more bitter than sweet

Bonus doodads cuz I was indecisive:

The 1st was purple tinted cuz of donbot vision get it hehehe

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coldhndss · 4 months

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These precious moments. ft. Chigiri. H

Having a cat was something you could only dream of. Sure, it sounds a bit pathetic, though the thought of coming home to pet and feed a little animal that also spent all its day waiting for you really seemed to excite you. Or maybe it was just growing on you because of a certain someone who also seemed to have a strong love for cats.

There were only a couple things that came to mind when you recall all of his interests: Soccer, reading, skincare, and cats. Particularly black cats. It came as a bit of a surprise to you when he stopped in the middle of your walk home from school to check a seemingly empty cardboard box.

“Hyoma, what are you doing?”

“Just wait a second and I’ll show you” He replied, right before reaching his hands into the box and pulling a small black kitten out from inside.

“Oh, a kitten! How cute..!” you reach your hand out to pet it, and it was surprisingly friendly. He cradled the kitten in his arms as it made itself more comfortable.

“But how did you know it was here?” You questioned.

“Well, I’ve seen a lot of stray cats abandoned in boxes on the sidewalk before, so I just assumed there would be one in here”.

You never knew that he had a warm side to him, to tend to a stray animal and show such care for it. You watched him hold the cat in one arm and pat it with his other hand. Watching the soft smile on his face as he did so.

‘His happiness was always so contagious’ you thought, as warmth tinged your cheeks alongside a subtle smile.

“Well, what are you going to do now? You can’t exactly put it back you know” You questioned.

“What do you mean, what am I going to do? I’m going to keep it, of course” he immediately responded.

“Huh? Just like that? Do you even have space for it?”

“That doesn’t matter, I’ll just clear some things out”.

Just like that, he cradled the small kitten in his arms as the two of you walked back home together. You wondered how he planned on keeping this cat without having the things for it, like food, a bed, litter, and the like.

“Don’t you think it would be good to get some stuff for it? You know, things a cat usually needs?”

“Well, I’ve always loved cats, but I’ve been especially hung up on it recently. So, when I’ve been heading out, it’s become sort of a habit of mine to pick up anything that I would buy if I did have a cat in the hopes that I’ll finally get one someday..” He bashfully chuckled with a small smile.

You decided to head to his home to help him bathe the cat and set up its place in his house. You suggested an empty corner in his room, though he tried to shoo you away from his door. When he eventually gave in and opened it, it was completely full of all things a cat would ever need or want.

Let's just say that any cat under his care would probably live a very pampered and lavish life.

#coldhandsss #writing #anime #manga #blue lock #chigiri hyoma #chigiri #chigiri x reader #blue lock x reader #one shot #short writing pieces #fluff

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gayaest · 5 months

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in terms of disabled characters, do you know about hyakkimaru from dororo? although the main plot is about him curing his disability (ew) i ignored that part. he's really helped me feel more comfortable being disabled & needing my wheelchair full time since he realistically would too. his entire body had to be reconstructed from wood by a prostheticist that took him in. due to a deal that his father made with demons, he allowed them to take his body parts away. hyakki's very cool (^^)b and we look similar so it helped more. i think in some gacha game he even has a modern design, but they didnt give him a wheelchair because theyre cowards i guess. either way, i think hes neat and i wanted to share him with you!

its just very relatable in a lot of ways especially for people who's condition, once found out, were practically abandoned by their families which is all too common at least in my experience idk.. !!.. idk. sorry for rambling!! if you do check out dororo (2019 especially) just be aware that theres a lot of violence/blood and other unsavory topics but it is really beautifully animated & wholesome too.

I’ve actually never heard of this series(?) animation. Thank you for telling me — I always am looking for more canonically disabled characters in media! ❤️

I think my view on “wanting a cure” is pretty nuanced personally. Like, if you personally want a cure for your disability, illness, etc because of pain, quality of life, fatality rate, etc, that is a completely fine and normal response for anyone to have!

The problem comes when you force that view onto other people, and/or adopt the eugenics ideology of “disabled=bad”, when that isn’t the case.

It’s also completely normal to feel pride and comfort in your disability as well — and to /not/ want a cure. These ideas can coexist at the same time, because humans are very diverse critical thinkers.

Disability is a natural state of humanity! Everyone will be disabled one day, whether that is when you come out of the womb, in your childhood to adulthood, or when you are elderly.

It’s really sad how common it is for disabled peoples families to abandon them when they become disabled, as mine did the same thing. I’m sorry to everyone that can relate. It’s not fair.

Thank you for sharing! If anyone ever wants to share with me disabled characters they like, I’m always open to learning !

#asks #anon

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letstalkwhump · 11 months

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Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host today.

Here today to talk all things whumpy is the brilliant @whumpcereal!

It’s great to have you here! Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself like your favorite color or favorite animal?

My name is Kay, and I’m a high school teacher in my 30’s. Besides whumping unsuspecting gentlemen, my hobbies include reading a lot, belting out showtunes, cooking for people I love, hitting up new bars and restaurants with friends, and traveling. And since you asked–and as a teacher, I hate unanswered questions–I’ve recently realized that orange might be my favorite color, and I love gorillas.

What does whump mean to you?

It’s the sort of pressing-on-a-bruise feeling that is wrapped up in watching someone suffer and then be comforted. It’s the need for vulnerability and human connection. It’s watching Prince Philip get chained to a wall and not understanding why you find it so magnetic, but you do, haha!

How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join?

I was writing for the Newsies fandom (I know) during the pandemic, and one of my favorite authors tagged her epic work with “whump.” I clicked the tag on tumblr, and I found @lonesome--hunter’s Ezra almost immediately; I fell down the rabbit hole and never came out. After Ezra, I spent a good long time with @ashintheairlikesnow’s Danny and then @galaxywhump’s Wren. I realized that a lot of what I was putting in my own writing could be classified as “whump,” but I wasn’t sure how to join in the fun. I lurked for a while and then beta-ed for @darkthingshappen before I got brave enough to post my own stuff. But part of what motivated me to start posting was just how supportive and welcoming the whole community is. On AO3, you can get tons of hits but almost no real engagement; with whump, that’s totally different. It makes my little dopamine receptors ping.

The whump community is amazingly supportive! Do you think your view on or the way you consume whump changed since you joined?

I am definitely a hurt/comfort gal. I can’t do the hurt without the comfort, and I need my whump to be strongly oriented in the characters’ feelings, whether we’re talking whumpers or whumpees. I struggle when a character is just getting the shit kicked out of them endlessly; I want them to have some relief, even if the relief is bittersweet or painful in its own way. I also find it easier to whump an OC than I do a fandom character, just because if they’re mine, I can build the kind of backstory that makes the whump reasonable.

And your favourite whump trope?

I do like noncon. Whump is a genre where I’ve really been able to explore scary things that have happened to me, and when a whumpee has an honest (and not needlessly gratuitous) nonconsensual experience, I gravitate toward it, especially if they’re allowed to explore the aftermath and how it makes them feel. I also love a mute whumpee–probably because I watched The Little Mermaid too many times growing up. Something about the helplessness of being trapped in your own body and at the mercy of others–hey, whumperflies! Captivity whump too, especially anything in the BBU. The BBU was one of my favorite discoveries when I found the community. It provides such rich opportunities!

Captivity whump is so good! Would you mind sharing a favourite piece you've written? (the following pieces may contain non-explicit nsfw references)

Ooooh. Well, I guess I’ll choose one from each of my series. For Jack, my first and forever whumpee in Behavior Modification, and his caretaker, my wish-fulfillment fake husband, Joe, it’s this piece with their little girl. It’s something that I wrote in basically a single stretch one afternoon last summer, and I’m proud of it because it shows both how far Jack has come in his recovery and how much everything he’s gone through is still affecting him. It also shows how fierce of a protector Joe is, even though Jack’s got strength of his own. Plus, Hallie, their little girl, was super fun to create. She’s a feisty little thing, and I liked the idea of looking at such a dark, violent system through a child’s eyes.

For The Kennel, it’s this piece which immediately follows my boy Will after his best friend Tommy is forced to assault him. It’s got the aftermath of noncon, plus it includes a lot of world building for my scary whumper, Doc, and his particular set-up. It really sets up the horror of the situation in which Will and Tommy have found themselves and also emphasizes the stories of other whumpees whose stories I’d love to explore (Justin and Tony, I’m looking at you). Plus, it gives Annie–who’s technically the caretaker in this story, even though she’s been abused herself–a chance to think about how she’s been raised and the way her father treats people. My favorite moment is when Will just breaks down completely, because we haven’t seen him do that yet. It’s a human moment, and he’s feeling so much less than human that it’s almost cathartic.

And then, honorable mention to this piece where I crossover my two stories and let Jack help Will as his post-rescue counselor. I had so much fun with that reveal!

Oh wow, I love the Kennel piece! You’ve broken my heart with Justin and Will! Would you like to share your writing routine with us?

I’ve actually been riding a bit of a block lately, but typically, I am an evening writer. No drinks or snacks, but usually movie scores that match the mood of what I’m writing. On good nights, it’s big blocks; on others, it’s just a sentence here and there (that’s been where I’m at lately). I try to write a little every day, but again, it’s been rough lately. Being a teacher at the end of the year is just as hard as being a student, haha.

I can only imagine! Are some things easier for you to write? Anything you struggle with writing?

I have an easier time writing recovery than I do straight whump, which is sometimes a bummer, because the whump community doesn’t seem to like recovery quite as much. So, I’ll pour myself into a recovery piece I have big feelings about, and then it won’t get quite as much traffic and engagement as when I’m roughing up the boys. I am very careful about how I write noncon. I think I do a decent job, but I try to approach it from a place of sensitivity to the person who is suffering versus engaging through violence alone. That can take a lot of time and thought and big feelings.

And is there anything you're working on at the moment?

I do have a fantasy crossover miniseries with Jack, Joe, and Ivan and @oddsconverts’ Josh and Felix that I’ve had a really fun time working on. I need to write a little intro before I post it. I need to go back to Jack and his intimacy consultations at WRU, and AU AU Joe and his reaction to the Drip. Poor Will and Tommy are in desperate need of attention; I need to get Will sold away so all the drama can increase. Maybe during summer vacation?

Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today? I am only funny on accident. Just ask my students. ;-)

Do you have any writing advice you’d like to share?

I’m great at giving advice to others, but absolute shit at following that advice myself. For instance, write for you. Don’t write for hits, likes, reblogs, etc. Just write what you want to read. Write as often as you can. During the pandemic, what got me back into writing after years of thinking about it was trying to write a little every day. Find you some writing friends who will get excited with you when there’s something you can’t wait to write about.

Finally, would you like to give a mention to some of the amazing people in the whump community?

I already mentioned some of my favorites, but shout outs to @hold-him-down (whom I was lucky enough to eat very expensive risotto with this spring and whose Leo is one of my very favorite whumpees), @peachy-panic (58 Days is one of my VERY favorites), @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump (whose Wyatt has my whole heart), and @squishablesunbeam (I mean, Jesse? Come on!). My first friends in the whump community were @darkthingshappen (creator of my Benny baby), @oddsconvert (whose series are all so beautifully written that I can’t choose a favorite–she even made me like vampire whump–and who is my wonder twin forever), and @sparrowsage (go check out his new stuff!).

Thank you so much for joining us, @whumpcereal ! It was a pleasure to have you here!

And to all you lovely folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

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ruthlesslistener · 1 year

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This is gonna sound weird but ur like the only writer that seems to have their shit together re Hollow Knight, but how would you characterize the Hollow Knight? Fandom consensus is something akin to "overgrown innocent child must protect" but yk fandom and hunter's journal mentions they're fully grown? ik hollow knight is just piecemeal so its all up to interpretation but still. confusion!

Ahshs I'm not sure if I'm the *only* competent writer in the fandom- there are lots of other people out there who are just as passionate and into the lore of Hollow Knight as I am, but have different interpretations that fit well within the canon story and are just as acceptable as my own. Unless you're just talking about my writing period, in which I regretfully must inform you that Until Dawn Shall Break is the only fic I have ever written that I actually did an outline for and is the only longform fic that I see myself finishing. I'm not exactly the most competent writer either, I'm just figuring shit out as I go.

But yeah you kind of hit a personal pet peeve of mine, which is the depiction of the Hollow Knight. I do not mean to insult or belittle anyone with trauma that involves age regression and/or a retreat to a more childish state of mind to reconnect with a past they were denied or found comfort in, or belittle anyone who needs high levels of outside care, but the fandom consensus of treating Hollow like an overgrown, innocent baby who was done wrong and needs to be protected and/or cared for is...bad. It's really fucking bad. Maybe this is my personal experience as an autistic adult speaking, but infantilizing someone is essentially the exact same deal as treating them like an empty, unthinking corpse like they were in canon, simply with a level of sugarcoating on it to make it more bearable to the fandom. Infantilization is an abuse tactic. It's a means of enacting control over someone by dismissing their own ability to make choices for themselves and replacing it with what you think is best for them- essentially controlling their life for what you believe is 'their own good'. It isn't helping someone, its seizing total control over their own life because you do not deem them 'mature' enough to make their own choices. It's a major problem with neurodivergent/disabled people and it is ESPECIALLY prevalent among mute/silent individuals because for some reason, language and articulation is associated with maturity and intelligence. It's a lack of respect and a statement of power, and it's alarming as hell to see it placed upon the vessels, given that they are shown to not only capable of taking care of themselves, but are also robbed of their autonomy by virtue of being voidborn. They cannot voice their suffering. They were believed to be animated corpses. And treating the Pure Vessel itself- a vessel reared to full adulthood and a god in their own right who spent an uncountless number of years in an agonizing battle of will against a genocidal god thousands of years their senior, who knew the stakes of failure and likely bears that weight on their ruined shoulders- as an innocent child? Inexcusable. Their lack of a voice does not mean that they should be treated with a lack of respect.

(This is also a major issue with animalkeeping and pet training, which is another thing I am very passionate about, but since comparing animals and people has somehow wound up being a bad thing, I'll leave this tangent here. Just know that this is a universal problem among any living being, not just people specifically.)

((Hell, I even see it as a problem with human juveniles specifically, because the whole reason why we protect, care for, and impose strict regulations on children is because they are new to the world and require proper guidance and role modeling. It should be phased out more and more the older a child gets, as soon as it becomes apparent that they do not need as much guidance on a task as they did before. Offering aid should be done from a position of respect and consideration, not one of dismissal.))

And we *know* that the Hollow Knight is an adult, because as you said, it is outright stated in canon that they have been raised to their prime form, aka their adult moult. Which, if we're getting biotechnical here, means that their body-which is very different from Little Ghost's- has physically matured as well as mentally, given that insects reach sexual maturation on their final adult moult. The body and hormones are just as important to development as time is, which is why despite being from the same clutch, the Hollow Knight and Little Ghost are an adult and child respectively. While both have been around the same amount of time, the Hollow Knight has physically and mentally aged, while Little Ghost is still physically (and likely mentally) a child. Stunting is, of course, likely due to access to resources over time- real insects become developmentally stunted if they lack enough nutrients irl, and Ghost led a very different life than the Hollow Knight- but the point still stands that the Hollow Knight is an adult, and should be treated as one. Even if they lack life experience and require extensive care post-Radiance, they are still physically and mentally an adult, and that means they should be treated as one. If you want to write them as returning to childish urges that they never were allowed to indulge in- that's great! Do that. If you want to write or depict them as being intensely animalistic in some regards- again, that's great! They're not human and they sure as fuck aren't a bug, no reason they won't act like that, esp. in the grips of agony. But remember that they are an adult, they have seen far more shit than you have, and that they deserve to be treated with the same level of respect that you'd give any war veteran. Needing more care =/= stripping them of respect. And honestly, given what we've seen of them in game, I don't think they're an overgrown innocent child at all.

But anyways, now that that tangent is over, it's time to get to what you were actually asking for- how I characterize the Hollow Knight. And it's complicated, but I'll try to sum it up as best as I can:

Autistic young adult who was a gifted child growing up but now suffers from severe burnout and suicidal depression, magnified by an abusively strict childhood and an emotionally unavailable family. Specific autism flavor is hyperempathy and sociability paired with extreme masking. Extremely mature in some areas (such as certain areas of problem solving and self-discipline), but extremely deficient in some areas because of aformentioned family issues. Genderless, but gives off the vibes of a transfem egg who is the family's favorite 'son'. Also they're a hyperpredator with the body of a xenomorph, power over nothingness itself, and have both the will, skill and resolve to kill god. Their passivity is the only thing saving you.

That summary was a lot longer than I anticipated.

But yeah, I basically see Hollow as someone who is extremely quiet, reserved, and 'mature' by nature, which is what allowed them to pass as the Pure Vessel where Little Ghost wouldn't (it's not just their anxiety- they're really just that quiet). They've got an innate protective streak a mile wide, which was partially what inspired them to become and stay the Pure Vessel, though their desire to end the suffering of both their siblings and the Radiance was admittedly overshadowed by their childish desire to be loved by their father, which is a guilt that haunts them to this day. They're also stubborn as hell, which is why they resisted the Radiance so long, and they have hyperempathy, which motivated them to try to stay pure to save the people of Hallownest & understand their father's motives and regrets, giving him far more sympathy and understanding than he deserved. They're a sensitive soul, one that adores children and loves to watch the lives of people from afar, but that protective instinct will lead them to rend others apart and kill without mercy if they have been given leave to do so (or feel that it is necessary to achieve their goal). They are hyperintelligent and excellent at reading body language, but a mix of synthesia, void logic, and their childhood has left them terrible at understanding their own emotions. They have an old soul and a cutting mind that allowed them to learn reading and complex mathematics on their own, but have the anxiety and insecurity of any young adult who's been sheltered for far too long to help themselves. Their patience is outstanding and their temper is long-burning, but once it's been worn thin, there's no going back, and they *will* hold a grudge unless actions are done to mollify them. While young compared to the others, they are an extremely powerful fully-ascended god with an oft-overlooked aspect that has all the territoriality and possessiveness to make deadly use of it. They also inherited their father's depression and complete lack of care for their physical form as long as it keeps their loved ones safe, which means that they are terrifying on the battlefield. They are also aware of how terrifying they are to others, and while they do not enjoy it, they will exploit it if necessary. In terms of hobbies, they have an extreme soft spot for romance novels/plays (despite being aroace), music, burrowing/nesting, caring for their family and people, playfighting, hunting, and meditating, which is often how they align with their aspect and passed the time in the White Palace. Speechwise, they are one of few words, and prefer not to sign, gesture, or write at all if they have to, simply working off of the void and their own body language to engage (if they even do so). Silent, vibrating vocalizations such as rumbling, purring, sigh/huffing, and clacking their mandibles is common.

Once healed, their body throws them into voracious heat cycles (courtesy of their mom and love for children), but they are terrified of becoming a parent or having children of their own, which makes it a stressful occurrence that they dread, but don't know how to fully get rid of. Post-Radiance, they are prone to having days where they lapse into total inactivity both mentally and physically, requiring external care before they return from the dissociative state they fell into. Chronic pain days are also often a major issue, and while they can technically induce a moult to heal their carapace and regrow their arm, the trauma-pain paired with the feeling that they don't deserve it is what prevents them from doing so. Their relationship with their father is a unique place of hurt, guilt, loss, and love, and should not be touched on. They barely saw the White Lady as a child, and while they long for their mother's approval, they also get the impression that she cannot stand them (due to either grief, hatred, or guilt, and so stays away). They are a god of broken people, and while they are comfortable in this position and accept their prayers, they never, *ever* want to be king. They love both their little sister Hornet and Ghost dearly, and have an absurd amount of guilt over abandoning Ghost in the Abyss, but they still retain the Cain instinct and will bite them if they cause problems, and would give Hornet very disappointed stares or purposeful pokes if she was being rude or unfair. They have a very courtly air and an expectation of mannerly behavior, even if they themselves never got to be called prince.

But that's all my personal interpretations of them, not canon.

#hollow knight #the hollow knight #pure vessel #the pure vessel #abelism tw #i had to copy-paste this in paragraph by paragraph >:(( tumblr why #anyways i love them. blorbo of all time #always happy to answer asks about them #my writing #hk headcanons

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pretend-erin · 10 months

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Stray thoughts on Kururi & Mairu

So I am probably one of the very few Kururi & Mairu fans and I want to talk about them. They are, unfortunately, victims of being anime girls from the 2000s - there are a lot of problematic things in drrr that we, as a fandom, should acknowledge and discuss. Simon, Namie, the treatment of characters like Vorona and Anri, I could go on. But right now, I want to talk about the twins.

We don’t get a lot of information on the Orihara family as a whole. All we know is that Izaya was very isolated as a child, and seemed to resent his sisters for being carbon copies of each other. So the girls decided that they would be opposites. They picked their personality traits, splitting them evenly. That’s why they act opposite in the chat room - they do it all on purpose.

I can only speculate here, but it seems like the Orihara parents may not have been around a lot. Actually nobody seems to have parents in drrr. Why was Masaomi able to do all that while he was in middle school???? And the only parents we see are awful - like Shingen?????? He’s our parental figure in this show????Anyway. It’s a pretty common headcanon that Izaya’s parents were not very present, so we can only assume the same for the girls. Izaya, due to his own issues, resented them. All they had was each other. And that is not good!

If you think about it, their codependence is really sad. They’ve had to rely on each other for everything. Even though they purposefully act different from one another, they need the other one in order to feel whole. Izaya said they were basically the same person, and they changed that. But in the process, they cut themselves in half. They’re still operating as one.

When we meet the twins, they seem pretty comfortable around the people Izaya frequently interacts with - mainly Shizuo. He clearly knows them, and knows them well enough to evade them gently. He’s a lot kinder to the girls, even if they get on his nerves.

They quickly befriend the van gang, Mikado and Anri, Shinra and Celty, and Akane. They are present at the contentious Hot Pot Party. And Izaya knows that. He knows his sisters are hanging out with all the people on his chessboard.

Suddenly, they’re part of the chatroom. They’re directly interacting with Aoba (which, are they not kinda parallels to Anri and Masaomi to Aoba’s Mikado??). They have their dojo. Akane Awakusu looks up to them. And even though they get bullied, they have a community to fall back on. They’re not alone anymore.

It kinda seems like everyone who knows Izaya stepped in as big siblings to the twins. They continuously reject him, and he rejects them back. But they have something he doesn’t. Something he’s clearly jealous of.

They’ve never really been alone, they’ve always had each other.

And yeah, the canon portrays that in a super weird way. Sometimes they take the “twisted love” concept too far. But these characters are a lot more interesting than the jokes made at their expense. Sometimes I just pretend the canon isn’t true. I don’t like it! I wish they didn’t do it!!! That’s why I never used to talk about how much I like the twins - people will always fall back on the same joke like it’s 2009. Sometimes you just have to snatch them out of the canon. Take them out of their shitty narrative, they’re mine now >:3

Unfortunately, a lot of the female characters in drrr get ignored or misrepresented by the fandom. Even Celty! Hell, the anime goes out of its way to not make Celty the main character. We get stuck with Mikado for most of the show’s run.

I guess I just find it odd that the fandom doesn’t give the same grace and understanding to the girls as they do the guys. Izaya is everyone’s poor little meow meow (and I’m including myself in that statement) but what about the TWINS???

Idk I think their parallels to Izaya are really interesting, they have everything he doesn’t have. They’re still strange, and may not fit in with their peers, but they’re treated with respect by the very people Izaya focuses most of his time and energy on.

I also think it is so funny that Izaya had two little freak sisters the entire time and we find out about them in an OVA lmao

Like the funniest thing you can do to Izaya is give him annoying little sisters and then not mention them until it’s funny to do so

It’s like when Roger Rabbit can’t take his hand out of the handcuff until it’s funny, it is so funny to introduce these two after you’ve built Izaya up so much. Like he’s just a weird guy with weird sisters. He gets mad when they join his chatroom where he pretends to be a teenage girl. They’re a cringefail family and we simply must respect that.

#brain scramblies #drrr #durarara #kururi and mairu #kururi orihara #mairu orihara #I just have so many thoughts and feelings about them #I want to steal them from Narita. they’re mine now. you did a bad job with them so now they’re mine #this is also kind of Izaya analysis uh oh #don’t discourse me I’m an old man

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nevvaraven · 1 year

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At least I’ve got you

Regulus keeps getting surprise visits from a dog?

“Oh for fucks sake- REG! Your stupid dog’s back.”

“How many times do I have to remind you that he’s not mine?”

“Well maybe try reminding him, this is the like the tenth time he’s wandered in here now!”

Regulus peeks his head out of the bathroom to see Barty angrily stuffing the contents of his desk into his book bag, whilst simultaneously sending irritated looks over to the familiar black dog now resting casually on Regulus’ bed.

The dog bares his teeth and growls slightly towards Barty when Regulus finally steps out but the minute he does so, the dog’s head snaps towards him with an excited bark, and any previous aggression vanishes as his tail begins to wag.

“I’m going to the library with Evan, I’ll see you later.” Barty huffs out, practically stomping out the room, “and that thing better be gone when I get back!”

The door slams on his way-out causing Regulus to roll his eyes, and if he didn’t know any better he’d say the dog lets out a little huff of laughter at Barty’s dramatic exit.

“Back again, are we?” Regulus asks approaching the now clearly appeased animal with a soft smile. The familiar creature lets his tongue wag out and smiles widely as Regulus begins stroking his head.

He isn’t quite sure where exactly the dog always come from.

The first time Regulus ever saw him was after one of the less fortunate quidditch games a few weeks ago, they had lost rather pathetically, and he had stayed behind in the changing rooms not wanting to deal with the aftermath of it all.

He remembers it had been a particularly rough day, with not only his mother having sent him a humiliating howler at breakfast about not screwing up at his game but also since it had been Sirius’ birthday. Regulus had refused to even glance in his direction following the silence after the howler had ripped itself to shreds but he knew he was watching him, half the bloody hall was, he just couldn’t bring himself to look back. Too afraid of what would follow, what he would see.

Afraid it would be a stranger.

He knew perfectly well the extent to which he was no longer a part of Sirius’ life, he didn’t need the reminders.

Regulus had been sat in the changing rooms long after everyone else had already left, head in hands and still in his kit when the dog had wandered in, at first he had looked around in confusion wondering where the owner was, but no one had followed the animal in. And when the dog placed its head on his lap, Regulus felt no desire to really go looking.

It was sort of ridiculous but in that moment, Regulus had needed someone, anyone really, to prove to him he wasn’t as alone in this world as he felt. The whole day had felt like one punch after another, and for whatever reason, when the dog looked up at him, it felt like he understood. Like he was telling him it was all going to be ok. He knows logically that can’t be true but, in the moment, he felt some odd form kinship with the dog. And call him crazy but he thinks the dog felt it too. Why else would he keep coming back?

Ever since that day whenever Regulus has had a bad enough day that he can’t hide it in his expression, the dog always somehow shows up and offers him that small amount of comfort that keeps him from feeling like he’s fallen over the edge. It didn’t make sense then and it doesn’t make sense now but for better or worse this dog has managed to keep finding his way back to Regulus when he needs him, and Regulus has undoubtedly grown very attached to him.

He tried hard not to, but these days there aren’t a lot of people he feels comfortable talking to about the things that play on his mind, and something about the dog just makes him feel safe enough to open up in a way he just can’t seem to with anyone else.

“How do you even get in here?” Regulus asks lying down next to him.

The dog responds by placing its head softly on his shoulder.

“I feel like I should have a name for you by now.” Regulus says laying his head against the dog, “never really been quite good at names though,” Regulus murmurs stroking the dog’s head, “how do you feel about.....Noir?”

The dog lets out a huff in response.

“Ok clearly not,” Regulus laughs, the smile dying on his face when the next thought appears, “you know who’s great at names? Sirius.”

The dog’s ears perk up at that, they always seem to whenever he mentions his brother. He had been on Regulus’ mind all day, they had run into each other in the hallway earlier and Sirius had been holding hands with that friend he’s always staring at, Lupin. They looked at each other in a way that friends just don’t. It was so plainly obvious. To all of them it seemed since Sirius had ripped his hand away the second he had spotted Regulus. Regulus had immediately turned in the opposite and despite hearing his brother call for him, he had continued walking.

He knew. Of course he knew. But he wasn’t going to be able to say the right things. He never has. So he’d rather say nothing at all now. It’s easier this way, spilling his heart out to an animal who doesn’t really comprehend anything he says.

It’s not real.

“He used to play this game when we were younger,” Regulus starts as the dog perks up, “where he’d look out the window and make up stories for every person who walked by the street, he’d give them names and backstories and explain why they were out that day, it was all so ridiculous. He used to do it to cheer me up whenever mother got angry.” Regulus feels tears begin to prick in the corners of his eyes as the longing for a person who no longer thinks of him begins to build up in him, “I still do it sometimes, when I go home. I try to think of the kind of stories he’d make up for people but they’re never as good. One time this kid with long hair walked past and I nearly ran outside because I thought it was him,” Regulus laughs through his tears at the absurdity of it. “It wasn’t.”

When he looks back at the dog he’s surprised to see there are tears in his eyes as well.

“It’s ok,” Regulus whispers, stroking him again in what he hopes is a comforting motion, “I actually saw him today.”

The dog raises his head from his shoulder to look down at him, eyes unblinking.

“I think he’s happy. He looked happy.” Regulus admits, the dog looks away from him for the first time and gazes towards the window, “I didn’t know what to say to him, I know he must’ve been scared not knowing what I was thinking, but I’ve never known what to do with his fear. Which is a shame since he always knew exactly what to do with mine.”

The dog looks back at him then, he almost looks sad.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get to tell him, but I’m glad he’s happy. Even if I don’t get to be a part of any of it.” Regulus whispers, “one of us should be.”

The dog whines and for a moment Regulus thinks he’s crying. The sight of it for some reason is too much for Regulus to handle.

“I think you should get going buddy,” Regulus says wiping at his own and sitting up, “Barty and Evan will be back soon, and I don’t think they’ll be as happy to see you as I am.”

The dog sniffles and crawls into his lap, his front paws come all the way up to Regulus’ shoulders and he leans his head against Regulus’ chest. There’s only one person Regulus has ever accepted a hug from and as he sits there in his room holding on to the small creature that can’t possibly understand the comfort he provides him, Regulus wishes not for the first time, that his brother was here.

“It’s ok,” Regulus whispers into the dog’s fur, “at least I’ve got you.”

#microfic #regulus black #Sirius Black #black brothers #i needed a distraction #here it is

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longislandcharm · 2 months

Text

PARTIES: @longislandcharm and @magmahearts TIMING: First week of January LOCATION: The Winter Festival SUMMARY: There's a reindeer destroying Winter's car. Cass comes up with a plan to get rid of it. CONTENT WARNINGS: Just a weird reindeer.

The winter festival had felt like another reason for people to make puns of Winter’s name. She’d planned to avoid it but with her recent injury to her shoulder there wasn’t much she could do back at her new place when it came to the renovations or even unpacking anything and the girl was bored out of her mind. It was her favorite season too so she figured a short trip to the festival couldn’t hurt too much as long as people decided to act right that day.

Turns out, it wasn’t the people she had to worry about. She’d been having a good time, really. All of the booths had been somewhat entertaining at least and the food had been pretty good but on her way back towards her car, Winter noticed that she wasn’t alone. One of the many reindeer that had taken over the town was hot on her heels, most likely because of the apple cider donut she had in hand. She wasn’t about to give it up, the girl giving the reindeer a look over her shoulder before picking up her pace.

It was keeping up with her though and before long she felt the nudge of its muzzle against her waist. “Oh, no, Blitzen, this is mine. Go find your own.” Air blew out of its nose, the girl watching as it turned white with the cold, almost as if its temper was rising and steam was accompanying it. “I mean, it, shoo.” Could a wild animal give attitude? Winter could have sworn she saw the thing narrow its eyes at her. It would have been scary had she been threatened by something that didn’t accompany Santa on his trip to visit all the children of the world every year.

Again, she had to learn the lesson that she couldn’t underestimate anything anymore. The reindeer sauntered in the direction that Winter had originally been going, moving straight towards her Jeep Cherokee, and she watched it turn before it kicked out her right headlight. “What the fuck?” It was staring at her, challenging her to say no to giving it her donut, and well, Winter didn’t back down from a fight. Especially when it was being started by a furball with antlers. She kept eye contact as she raised the rest of the donut to her mouth, chewing the last bite even as the animal blew out another heated breath and kicked its foot back again. There was now a sizable dent in her grill. “Hello? Does anyone know how we stop demented reindeer from destroying our property?”

The festival was amazing. Cass had never really been to an event like it before. She’d seen them from a distance — county fairs and conventions that she was too afraid to get close to for fear of being cast out or rejected — but she’d never participated in one before. But… she felt comfortable in Wicked’s Rest, in a way she never really had anywhere else. That intense fear of rejection was still there, but she was trying not to let it stop her from having fun anymore. She was at the festival, she was enjoying herself. She was laughing at the ugly sweaters and marveling at the snow sculptures. She was having fun.

But she was on her own. Tonight, at least, this round. She’d dragged friends before, made Ariadne wear that silly two-person sweater with her and all, but it was easier to weave in and out of the crowd picking pockets for much needed food money when she was by herself. And if she weren’t by herself, she might not have spotted the reindeer being… decidedly un-reindeer like.

One was following someone. Cass could only see the back of the woman’s head, but she didn’t think it was possible for her not to realize she had a tail. Reindeer were loud walkers, what with the hooves and all. Still, instinct drove the oread forward, unsure if she was looking to help the woman or the deer up until the moment the latter, seemingly unprovoked, went for what Cass could only assume was the woman’s car. Blinking, she made her way forward.

“Hey,” she called out, “are you o— Winter?” It was only as the woman turned that Cass realized she was familiar. “Whoa, hey! Um, I’m guessing this isn’t your demented reindeer, then?”

She knew that voice. That voice was so familiar and yet she couldn’t place who it belonged to until she turned to find Cass coming towards her. Not exactly someone she had enough confidence in to get rid of this thing but it was nice to have someone there to share in her misery. Rolling her eyes softly at the question, she turned her head back to continue watching the reindeer as it stared her down, still challenging Winter to do something about the small kicks it was still giving her jeep. “Does it look like it belongs to me?”

Her attitude was misplaced and she knew that as soon as the words left her mouth. She wasn’t mad at Cass, she was pissed at this stupid animal destroying her car over a damn donut. Sighing, she used her good hand to run her fingers through her hair. “No, it’s not mine. It just started following me when it noticed I had a donut in my hand. I didn’t give it to the stupid thing and now it keeps kicking my car.” It was like the reindeer wasn’t stupid at all, like it knew exactly what to do and how to get its way. Almost as if he were mimicking Winter’s tantrums from when she was a child…and maybe even a little older.

It started to saunter around to the side of her jeep and her eyes narrowed in its direction. “Don’t you dare…” The reindeer was smiling at her. That smirk was unmistakable as its antlers went through her driver’s side window making Winter let out a low growl. “I think this festival could use a reindeer roast right about now.”

“Well, I don’t know. You don’t strike me as a reindeer girl, but it seems a little rude to assume.” It was half a joke, her lips upturned in a quiet smile. She didn’t know Winter well; she didn’t need to. She wanted Winter to like her because she wanted everyone to like her, because the idea of being disliked always tasted like acid on her tongue. There was a chance this particular ship had sailed, though; Winter was close with Mack, and Mack hadn’t spoken to Cass since their argument months ago. Still, that desperation beat in her chest. That need to be liked was a living thing. It controlled her far more than she controlled it.

The situation might have been funny if not for how frustrated Winter clearly was. Cass could hardly blame her for being irritated. If she’d had a car and a reindeer seemed intent on kicking it to pieces to protest not getting a donut, she’d have been pretty mad, too. “I don’t think donuts are good for deer, anyway,” she offered, glancing to the deer in question as if she was trying to remind it of this fact, too. Feeding animals things that weren’t a part of their natural diets was a good way to make them sick, after all.

But the reindeer didn’t seem to care much about that. It continued its protest, kicking at Winter’s car angrily. Then, its antlers went through the window, and Cass winced at the sound of breaking glass. “Okay, let’s — Let’s figure out how to get it away from here. Nobody needs to roast anybody!”

“No, you hit the nail on the head with that assumption. They’re gross, full of ticks, and apparently they have tempers.” The subtle humor Cass had been trying to throw in this was lost on her, her frustration with the whole situation overtaking anything else. Her eyes cut back to Blitzen having a merry time with her vehicle but she knew better than to approach it. If it wanted to beat her car Winter had no doubts that it would turn its hooves on her if she tried anything.

But it seemed Cass had other ideas. The suggestion to try and get it away didn’t sit well with her but the medium wasn’t sure what else they could do unless she wanted to watch this asshole make her vehicle into spare parts. “I’m not giving the bastard what it wants so food isn’t the way but I don’t have any other ideas on how to get it away from my stuff.” Her voice rose higher towards the end so that the reindeer could hear it and in response the animal headbutted her side mirror off. She really wanted that roast.

The reindeer looked up at the two girls and just stood there as if challenging them to refuse it again. Winter knew it was waiting for food and if she didn’t get it any soon it would continue its crusade. “I don’t have any more donuts, you bastard!” The air in front of it turned foggy as it let out a frustrated breath and she joined it while she watched its antlers go into her side door. “Cass, what am I supposed to do with a bum arm? Push its butt with one hand? He’ll probably kick us and then we’ll look like my car…and I don’t really want to touch it’s butt anyway.” She didn’t want to admit that she might have to give up her pride and grab some popcorn to lure it away or something to that extent. It didn’t deserve the food it craved.

Okay, so Winter wasn’t in a joking mood. Cass’s expression fell just a little, though she wasn’t really hurt by it. It was clear that this situation was… frustrating, to say the least. Winter probably wasn’t having a great time watching a reindeer attack her car. After all, nobody liked seeing their personal belongings damaged, especially not by errant reindeer. “He probably has fleas, too,” she offered, because she’d learned the fastest way to a person’s heart was often as simple as agreeing with them. She wanted Winter to like her. It was her nature to say whatever was necessary to make that happen.

Although… Winter’s stubbornness might get them both into some trouble here. After all, the most sure-fire way to get the animal to leave was to toss the food and let it go. What did it matter if they’d be giving it what it wanted? It was a reindeer; Cass doubted it was capable of really thinking about that kind of thing. But if Winter wanted another solution, Cass would find one. She’d figure out a way to resolve this without anyone getting hurt. Wasn’t that what heroes were supposed to do?

“Maybe we can scare it away?” She offered, trying to remember what she knew about reindeer. Like most animals, they tended to be afraid of things that were bigger than them, didn’t they? The problem was… Neither Cass nor Winter was bigger than a reindeer. “What if… you got on my shoulders? We could make ourselves look big, and that might spook it a little.”

“Ugh, gross, you’re right.” She pointedly looked at the reindeer, her nemesis (she was calling it this time), and sneered. “Not only would touching it risk us getting lyme disease but it would make us itch as well.” It responded with a noise she could only describe as fury in reindeer form before using its antler to puncture her tire. Alright, enough was enough. If Winter had to get the thing food then so be it. This thing was causing way too much strife in her life to hold onto pride. She was just afraid that as soon as she fed it then the thing would never leave her alone.

Cass’ suggestion stopped all other thoughts, her eyebrows raising so much they were close to buried in her hair line. How in the world could she climb onto the girls shoulders and why would she risk injury to the both of them when she’d refused to even touch the thing ruining her day? “I don’t know if that’s the best idea. This little shit doesn’t seem scared of much and I don’t want to hurt you. I’m tiny but so are you.” They were the same height and if she had to guess weighed close to the same. Winter was someone who wouldn’t lift a paper bag to carry in groceries half the time, how was she to know if Cass could handle her weight?

As much as she hated the idea, she hated the idea of giving in to terrorist demands even more and that’s what this thing was being. “Do you think you could handle it?

“Yeah!” Cass agreed adamantly, feeling as if she’d made a good decision in pointing out the reindeer’s potential for fleas. As if it had gained her brownie points in Winter’s eyes, as if it had gotten her all the closer to the friendship she craved from just about every person she met. She wanted approval, wanted attention, wanted love. Insulting a reindeer was a pretty small price to pay in order to achieve that.

But… maybe she still had a ways to go. Winter didn’t seem immediately sold on her idea, and Cass frowned a little. “I’m a lot sturdier than I look!” She knew she couldn’t climb on Winter’s back; as small as Cass looked, she was solid stone and heavy. Even if Winter could hold her weight, she’d certainly notice the difference between how Cass looked and how she weighed. “I could definitely handle it! And I think if we confuse it enough, it’ll freak it out and make it take off. Just, you know, make it cut its losses.”

The enthusiasm, it wasn’t at all contagious as she stared at Cass. No, if anything, it was making her more nervous for this possible disaster. What if she tried to climb onto the girl’s shoulders and her own bum one caused her to crash and fall? The reindeer would laugh and probably kick out a tire’s rim in celebration. She wasn’t so confident in her yoga abilities to think that an injury wouldn’t hold her back and Winter’s apprehension with the whole plan only continued to grow.

But then the bastard only got worse, a screeching sound filling the air as Blitzen ran the tip of his antler down the side of her car and caused a huge scratch. “Alright, you’re definitely getting roasted today, you little-” She cut herself off, knowing her temper could bring out the worst in her, and instead turned to Cass with a new fire in her belly. This monster wasn’t going to be allowed to do this to them.

“Fine, let’s try this. Do not drop me…it will be very painful.” If only she had been a cheerleader. No, she’d been too busy with ice skating in high school to join the lame squad. Winter tried her best to figure out how to maneuver this with her shoulder and only started to move when she saw something else she could stand on as a starting point. She stepped up onto the random tree trunk still in the ground, probably a casualty of some other disaster in this town, and looked to the other girl. “Alright, let's go.”

Winter didn’t seem enthusiastic, and for a moment, Cass thought it would be back to the drawing board. It wasn’t something she particularly wanted to do, if only because she knew there weren’t a lot of options available to them here. If Winter didn’t want to give the reindeer any food and Cass didn’t want the reindeer to be hurt, what choices did they have? There was only so much they could do, only so many things that might work.

Then, a miracle: Winter relented. A grin spread across Cass’s face, and she nodded quickly, getting down into a crouched position so that Winter could climb up onto her shoulders. “I won’t drop you,” she said. It was neither a promise nor a guarantee. Both of those things were dangerous, after all, especially to someone like Cass. But it was the closest thing she could offer to either without putting either of them at risk.

When she felt Winter balance on her shoulders, she rose back up to full height, tongue poking out the corner of her mouth as she concentrated very carefully on not dropping her friend. She took an unsteady step forward, bringing her hands up to grasp Winter’s legs and offer additional support. “Okay,” she said. “I’m going to walk towards it. You… scream!”

Oh god, why was she doing this? This was the worst idea and yet she couldn’t bring herself to give up her own stubborn mindset to give this fiend what he wanted. It was a little bit of a struggle to get onto the other’s shoulders but she still had to thank her yoga training for being able to do without the use of an arm but the wobbliness that happened afterwards? She almost jumped right off again. It was only Cass rising to her feet but it was enough for that doubt to come rushing right back and Winter had to close her eyes for a second.

No, that made things worse.

Opening her eyes again, she resisted the urge to gain stability by grabbing onto some part of Cass and just allowed the girl to go, using her core to help herself balance to not throw them off kilter. The only thing that could distract her from her impending fall that was sure to come was Cass telling her to scream.

Yea, she could do that. Especially with the rage that started to build at the sight of Winter’s car. When Cass started forward she could see the reindeer stand at attention. It knew something was up as it eyed the two girls. Was this actually going to work?

When they got closer, Winter started to scream at Blitzen, saying everything that she wanted to say to the reindeer from the moment it tried to take her donut. “You lazy, no good, little disease carrier, you need to go before we make you!” Her words soon turned into just screaming and the animal actually looked scared despite standing strong.

It was, like, suuuuper awkward trying to walk with someone balanced on your shoulders. Cass hadn’t really thought about how hard it would be, but it totally was. With every step she took, Winter’s position on top of her felt more precarious. It felt less like she was actually moving forward and more like she was just moving with the wobbling of the other girl’s body on top of her in an attempt to keep her from falling. One step at a time was the best way forward, she thought; left foot, right foot, blah blah blah. They’d get there! Eventually!

As they neared the reindeer, Winter seemed to stiffen on her shoulders. Anger, Cass figured; she was mad at the deer because of her car, which did seem fair enough. It wasn’t a justified reaction. Not getting food didn’t mean you got to destroy someone’s car, that totally wasn’t the vibe.

The screaming seemed to be doing… something. At first, the reindeer seemed unbothered. But when it turned to look at the source of the sound, it faltered a little. It seemed like Cass had been right — a reindeer, when faced with something substantially larger than a reindeer, grew just a little uneasy.

“Yeah!” The oread joined in. “You’d better back up, dude! We’re big and loud and angry! And we’ll… step on you!” It didn’t matter what they said to the reindeer, did it? The little guy probably didn’t understand English.

Winter appreciated Cass joining in on the yelling, her words failing her as the screaming took over, but she was having a hard time getting over the image of what people might have been seeing. One girl with a sling on her arm on top of another girl who was wobbling towards a confused reindeer as it did what it could to destroy a car…it was the most ridiculous thing. She kept looking back at her Jeep to get the anger to stay in place long enough to watch this little bastard run off. “Why are you still here? Even your fleas are quaking in their boots, go you little mongrel!”

With a huff, the reindeer made sure to add another long scratch to her car as it slid its antlers along the side again, making sure to puncture her back tire before running off towards the festival. It was most likely in pursuit of another person to bully into feeding it but Winter didn’t care, it was away from her car and that had been the goal. A victorious ‘whoop’ rang out to replace the yelling, the girl throwing her good fist in the air. Her car wasn’t totally destroyed, all she had to do now was call a tow service to get her to a garage and replace those tires.

“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Or that she was still on top of this girl and she hadn’t toppled them both over yet. She’d been so happy that the reindeer had run away that she’d forgotten how precarious this position was for them both. They were still wobbly and the medium was trying very hard to stay as still as possible after Winter remembered that Cass couldn’t hold her like this forever. “Uh, hey quick question, how do I get down without squashing us both? Why didn’t we think that through before I got up here?”

They probably looked ridiculous to anyone passing by. Cass, anchoring Winter on bottom while screaming at the top of her lungs and Winter, clad in a sling and clearly angry, screaming just as loudly. But in that moment, it was hard to care what they must have looked like. There was a quiet joy building up in Cass’s chest, a little thrill going through her. She was having fun. She thought Winter might have been, too, though she was pretty sure if she wasn’t, it wasn’t really Cass’s fault. If anything, the damaged car was to blame for any lack of enjoyment on Winter’s part. But… Cass hoped she wasn’t quite as miserable as she might have been without the whole screaming match.

The reindeer seemed to admit defeat, trotting off back towards the festival, and Cass let out a celebratory whoop. She nearly threw her hands up in the air in excitement, stopping herself short when she realized doing so would almost certainly throw Winter off her shoulders. She watched as the reindeer disappeared into the crowd, wondering absently what it would do next. For a moment, she imagined herself and Winter chasing it, still stacked on top of one another as they scared it into the woods. It was a funny idea… but probably not entirely feasible. There was no way they could maintain this balance forever.

In fact, Cass was a little surprised they’d held it up as long as they had. She blinked at Winter’s question, chewing absently at her lower lip. “Um… good question.” She could kneel down, but that much movement without toppling over would be difficult. “Maybe… I can inch us over to the car, and you can slide off onto the hood? Then I can help you off that.” Was it the best idea? No. But it was just about the only thing Cass could think of that wouldn’t end in the two of them landing on the concrete all tangled together, so… Work with what you’ve got, right?

Despite not knowing how she was going to get down, despite her car being completely trashed at this point, despite feeling so wobbly on top of this girl’s shoulders Winter was grinning. It was another ridiculous situation that she couldn’t help but laugh at because if she didn’t she would end up crying and that wasn’t happening. Underneath the frustration it had been such a funny thing to do and she knew that in the future she would look back on this with nothing but humor even if her annoyance was prominent. Cass wasn’t so bad even if she had thrown her best over a balcony…on accident, of course. Shit happened, right?

She looked over towards the car and thought for a moment, shrugging a shoulder when she came to the conclusion that it was already pretty far gone. They couldn’t really do much more damage could they? Shrugging her shoulder, she straightened up in hopes that it would help keep the balance better. “Sure, why not? I don’t think a dent in the hood will hurt it anymore than it already is.” Winter was definitely going to have to call a tow truck and her parents were going to have a field day when she told them a reindeer did this on purpose. The thought of that made her giggle, her body shaking softly with the laughter. She just hoped it wouldn’t throw Cass off balance.

Winter was right, of course — there wasn’t much damage the two of them could do to the car that was worse than what the reindeer had done already. Even if Winter were heavy enough to dent the hood by sitting on it, which Cass didn’t think she was, it would hardly even be noticeable among the scrapes and dents left behind by a very angry reindeer. The whole situation was just a tiny bit ridiculous, and part of Cass wanted to laugh. Who dealt with things like this? Who had these kinds of problems? (The same kind of people, Cass suspected, who accidentally ruined sleepover parties by throwing someone down the stairs, only to be absolved when said someone proved herself to be undead already.)

Carefully, Cass began to inch towards the jeep. Slowly, but balanced. At least, until the weight on her shoulders began to shake and vibrate. Cass wasn’t expecting it, and it didn’t help that the sound of Winter’s giggling set her off, too. She began to laugh right along with the other girl, her body shaking until she realized there was no way she was maintaining her balance. The best she could hope for was to control the fall. She angled the pair of them so that she would hit the ground first, hoping to save Winter from any further injury, giggling all the way down.

Winter could feel the two of them tipping over and tried to brace herself for impact even as she continued with the giggles, the sound only growing louder with the surprise of toppling sideways. She shouldn’t have been shocked, and in part she really wasn’t, but she still let out a yelp when she hit the ground as a jolt of pain went through her injured shoulder. Jostling it probably wasn’t for the best. It should have killed the mood but her moan of pain was short lived before the laughter started to take over again. She just kept imagining what people were thinking as they walked past the two of them and it would start a fresh round of them. “God, we probably look so stupid right now.”

Sitting up, she gingerly lifted her injured arm just to make sure the jostle of the fall didn’t break the stitches apart, her giggling having died down but the smile still on her face. But it started to fall as her eyes landed on her car again, her head falling forward in defeat. “I appreciate your help, Cass. Not many people would let me sit on their shoulders to scare off a rogue deer. You’re not hurt, are you?” Winter looked the girl over but didn’t see any blood staining her clothes. Didn’t mean she couldn’t be injured in some way. “Do we need to add another offense to that deers’ list?” Oh boy, was she keeping a list. She’d find the little shit before long but right now she wasn’t too worried about it.

Winter yelped as they hit the ground, and Cass felt a moment of worry wash over her before the other girl began laughing again. It was impossible not to join in, squeals of delight rising up from the pair as they lay tangled together on the ground. “We — We just fought a reindeer,” Cass added, breathless. “Do you think that puts us on the naughty list?” The question only made her laugh harder. It felt good to laugh. It felt good to have problems as stupid as a reindeer attacking her friend’s jeep, felt good to have those problems resolved as easily as a silly plan and a piggyback ride. She wouldn’t mind more issues like this, really. She felt more like a superhero now than she had in a long, long time.

Shifting into a sitting position, she faced Winter with a grin. She watched the other girl inspect her shoulder. “Is it okay?” She nodded towards the injured limb, hoping it hadn’t been damaged in the fall to the ground. “I’m not hurt, no. And I was happy to help. That was… actually kind of fun. I’m sorry about your car, though.” She looked back to the jeep with a grimace. It was definitely going to need some work done on it to get it back to normal.

“I think I’ve been on the naughty list since way before the reindeer came into my life…you probably just made it though. Welcome, you’re gonna love it.” She sent a playful grin Cass’ way before she looked back at the spot where the reindeer had previously disappeared. “To be fair, I think the reindeer is the one who should be on the naughty list. It’s going to cost a fortune to fix what that thing broke.” At least her mood was better. It only took climbing somebody else and acting like a total idiot with them to get a rogue animal to go away. Winter shook her head at it all, laughing again when she realized how mad Henry was going to be to know that he missed this. That’s what he got for wanting to throw snowballs at people walking around the festival.

Looking up from her arm, she nodded with a shrug of her good one. “It’s fine. Little bit of a jolt when we landed but nothing I can’t handle.” Not that she would admit if it was anything she couldn’t handle. The good thing was, she wasn’t lying this time around. Nodding her head at Cass’ answer, she too looked over at the Jeep and sighed once more. “I think the only thing I’m really worried about is explaining it to my parents. I don’t think they’re going to believe that a reindeer did this out of vengeance.” Now that Winter was really thinking about it, it would probably worry her parents if she said something like that to them. They were already concerned after her melt down back in June.

“Anyway, I really do appreciate it. You’re not so bad, Cass. Maybe we should get together and intimidate more of these suckers. Become a team. Girls bosses against teleporting menaces.” The medium grinned at the horrible name before she started to get to her feet, wiping away the cold snow that had clung to her legs. “I would ask if you needed a ride but it looks like I’m waiting for a tow truck now. Want to head back to the festival with me?”

There was a brief, childish sense of panic at the idea that she’d made the ‘naughty list,’ though realistically Cass knew she’d have been on it years ago if such a thing really existed. If the stealing hadn’t gotten her a spot there, the accidental deaths she was responsible for would have surely secured her a reservation. And that was assuming that the parts of her that made her own people cast her out of Hawai’i didn’t doom her from the start. But the naughty list was a silly concept, and Winter was only joking, so Cass laughed. “Somehow, I think I’ll manage,” she replied, squinting at Winter’s car a little. “Yeah, I don’t think reindeer have money. Or insurance. So… I guess you’re stuck with the bill?” She managed to at least sound apologetic about it.

She was far more worried about the state of Winter’s arm than her jeep, though. She relaxed a little when the other girl assured her that it was all right, nodding her head. “Well, um… I know a doctor, if you need one.” Regan would definitely be unhappy about the prospect of helping Winter, and would probably complain about it the entire time, but Cass was pretty sure she’d do it anyway. For someone who claimed not to have any kind of attachments, she was always willing to lend a helping hand. The mention of Winter’s parents brought up a complicated bundle of emotions, and Cass nodded absently. “Maybe we could get a video of the reindeer doing other stuff as proof,” she offered, glancing back to the festival. The praise had her grinning and preening, pleased to have successfully navigated the interaction. “We could totally kick their fluffy asses,” she joked, nodding her head. With one last glance at Winter’s ruined jeep, she nodded again. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Come on. I can buy you a snack to make up for the jeep — and this time, we’ll make sure no reindeer even dares to ask for a bite.”

#Threads #Thread: Cass #Please Stop Blitzen

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fiction-box · 2 years

Note

Hello hello! Here is my Claude request again:

Reader has always wanted to fly but never had access to a pegasus/wyvern until coming to Garreg Mach. Claude, of course, offers to give reader a ride on his wyvern to help fulfill this childhood dream of theirs (and as an excuse to hold them close- *cough* uh no you didn't hear anything this is for safety purposes only)

Feel free to use the same reader from my first Claude request! Plus reader is a little nervous about heights so they're definitely gonna be holding on to the nearest thing for dear life lol (also idk if this detail will matter but reader is very much an animal lover and will certainly be cooing over Claude's wyvern like they do with all the monestary's cats and dogs hehe)

Thank you again in advance!!

I got your other note, too. I'm glad you like my style! Of course, there are things I must attend to outside of this blog, but it always puts a smile on my face to get a request during my day. I'm a bit of a dreamer (though that doesn't mean my head is in the clouds), so these things tend to fuel my imagination. Then, I'm able to put them into stories effectively before sharing the result with you all! How lucky I am to have such a gift.

On that note, I believe someone needs to bash me over the head with a stick because once again, I did not entirely listen to your request. I somehow turned "a little nervous about heights" into a full blown fear of them. Forgive me. Naturally, before I noticed that I messed up, I managed to write over half the fic.

(Also, thanks for coming in clutch with that resend! I was devastated when I accidentally deleted it!)

Let me know what you think! Requests are open to all!

The story will be continued under the cut.

“Uh oh. Looks like someone’s developed a crush on my wyvern. Should I introduce you two?”

Standing at the entrance to the stables, you turned around at his sudden appearance. Your flustered reaction to his words turned to laughter once you realized what he meant, “Could you really? That would be great! Oh, but what should I say? How should I act?”

It appeared that Claude couldn’t fight his smile at your antics, “Just be yourself! Fate will work itself out.”

“Careful, the Goddess might get mad at you for that one.”

Easily, the two of you fell into a good mood as he led you to his wyvern.

“So is it friendly, or will it bite my hand off?”

“I’d imagine you’re a familiar face,” Claude reached forward to pet it, himself, “so you’ll be fine. Besides, you’re here with me. Pretty sure you’re safe as long as you don’t suddenly attack me.”

“Ah, well. There go my plans for the day,” you remarked, slowly stretching your arm out for the beast to inspect.

It sniffed you once, twice, then leaned forward into your hand. Its scales were rough, but so long as you stroked in the right direction, it was comfortable.

The wyvern seemed to have more of a preference, though. The more affection you gave it, the more noise it made. Soon enough, it began trying to get closer to you, though the chains attaching its harness to the wall wouldn’t permit it to go far.

“Oh my- you are adorable!” you cooed.

“Careful. This one’s special,” Claude commented. “I’m not a fan of the idea that we might draw an audience, what with all the noise you two are making.”

You took your attention away from the creature as he did his best to silence its movements. From your many visits to the castle of Duke Riegan when you were younger, you came to recognize this wyvern as belonging to Claude. If he didn’t want it to have a crowd, he probably had a good reason.

Originally, you two had been sent here on stable duty. However, you highly doubted that your teacher would suddenly classify this as an acceptable way to spend your time.

“I suppose you have a point,” you frowned. “It’s just…I have never actually seen one of these up close. It’s always been a dream of mine to fly at least once, but…”

“What’s been stopping you?”

I’m afraid of heights. “Quite a few things, actually. There aren’t exactly a surplus of wyverns and pegasi in the area I’m from, and my family is quite stubborn about not needing them. That means my teachers have firm instructions not to let me ride one, so I haven’t had the opportunity to learn how.”

“That’s it? Well, I sure don’t see any teachers around here. And would you look at that? There’s a wyvern about ten feet in front of your face.”

You didn’t smile, “I don’t know…”

I can’t do it. I’m too scared.

“If you want, I can take you flying,” he offered. “I happen to know for a fact that today’s skywatch is made up entirely of students. Nobody will recognize you, and if they do, there’s no way they could possibly know about your little ‘obligation’.”

“Maybe, but…” you eyed the wyvern.

He paused, waiting for the rest of your sentence. It didn’t take him too long to figure out the end wasn’t coming.

“Is there some other reason?”

Really, you didn’t want him to know. It was embarrassing enough when you were the only one that knew about it, you didn’t need your best friend figuring it out and teasing you about it.

“I…”

“Oh, I see,” Claude picked up, ever the vigilant one between you two. “You’re afraid.”

Unable to find the words, you settled for a nod.

“Come on, what’s so scary? Worried about what your family might think if you went behind their backs?”

He received a look from you, “After everything you’ve talked me into doing these past few years? I doubt you and I will start getting caught now.”

“Okay…and I know you aren’t scared of my wyvern after how friendly you two were a moment ago.”

You laughed, “No, of course not!”

“Well?”

He was only trying to help, you reasoned. Besides, he already knew you were afraid. Telling him why couldn’t be so bad, right?

“...I’m nervous about being so high up without anything to keep me safe. No ties, no railing…”

In truth, you had always been somewhat thankful that your parents had forbidden you from riding the animals. It meant you never would have to reveal your fear, and your teachers couldn’t force you to face it.

Yet here you were, spoilt for choice, and you were freezing up. You still yearned to fly, but by no means did that translate to you wanting to face your fear.

“...I don’t know…” you repeated, softer.

You could feel Claude stare at you for a moment, “It’s not like you’ll be on your own. You’ve got me here with you, and I promise not to let you fall. I can hang onto you the whole time, if you want. Plus, you can always hold the horn of the saddle to feel more secure.”

It didn’t sound so bad when he put it that way…

“I swear, you won’t have to do anything other than sit. I can handle the rest by myself.”

“Have you ever fallen off?”

“Not that I can remember,” he joked, “but trust me, I won’t let that happen to you.”

How old was he now, eighteen? You were well aware of how many years of experience Claude had with wyvern riding. The leader of the Golden Deer was offering to help you achieve your own small dream, but it was strange.

The existence of this wyvern was not known to many, and Claude had never even mentioned owning one to the professor. You wondered how many students were aware he actually knew how to fly.

Well, if this was your one chance, you were taking it. The details could be sorted out later. Once you were in the air, you would have no other choice than to face your fear, right?

No, that was a horrible line of reasoning.

Just shut up and get on the wyvern.

With false confidence, you let him lead the way to the wyvern’s saddle. He went up first, then extended a hand in order to help you up.

“There you go. Now, put your left foot on that loop and step on it. Keep holding my hand so you don’t lose your balance.”

You followed his instructions easily enough until he was able to wrap an arm around your waist and pull you up. Seating yourself as comfortably as you could, you moved your hands to hold the saddle’s horn. Claude kept his left arm at its place around your waist.

“Alright, you ready?” he asked, pulling a key out of his pocket. The brunet undid the chains binding the saddle to the wall and let them fall to the ground.

Really, how bad could it be?

“Yes. Go ahead.”

He guided the wyvern out of the stables through the gate you left open when you entered. Then, with a few movements of his right arm that you didn’t get to see, you felt yourself leave the ground.

Immediately, your eyes shut and your grip tightened.

Maybe you weren’t ready, yet. This felt similar to signing a contract without reading it first. If your eyes remained closed, though, you could remain calm. That way, you wouldn’t realize what was happening until you opened your eyes at the peak of your little flight. You were sure it wouldn’t be so bad by then.

But when the time finally came, and Claude informed you that you weren’t going to fly any higher, your eyes did not open.

Somehow, from behind you, he managed to pick up on this.

“What’s the point of doing this if your eyes are shut? We may as well have just gone outside on a windy day and put you on a rock,” he teased.

“I’m trying, I just…”

“Seriously, if you don’t open your eyes, you’ll get all disoriented and pass out. Then I’ll have to fly back without dropping you, take you to Manuela, and explain everything in a way that doesn’t send one of us home or get my wyvern banned.”

Sad as the second part was, your mind was gripped in fear at the thought of the first, “What? That can’t be true!”

“Hey, I’ve seen more than a few wyvern riders fly into caves without their helmets attached properly and come back out limp on their mounts!” he shouted over the wind, “Something about the harsh breeze going past your ears and your eyes not understanding why.”

He must have been lying to you, right? There was no way such a ridiculous story could be true.

“Look, whether you open your eyes or not is up to you. All I’m saying is that if you don’t, I’m turning back to the stables. I don’t need your parents or any teachers spreading rumors that the future Duke Riegan made some noble’s daughter pass out on his wyvern.”

Yeah, that did sound pretty bad.

“Alright, I’ll do it. Just give me a moment.”

You didn’t feel safe enough on the wyvern; that was your chief complaint. Sure, Claude’s arm acted as a safety harness, but you still felt the need to grip the horn of the wyvern’s saddle. If you could just cover your eyes with your hands, you knew you could muster the courage to open your eyes. Then, it would only be a matter of spreading your fingers open to peek through the gaps until finally, you could pull your hands away.

But how were you meant to achieve all that when you barely felt safe now?

Then it hit you. Of course the answer was right in front of you (or, behind you, rather.)! Did you not just refer to Claude in your thoughts as a safety harness?

“Alright, I’ve got a plan. For this to work, though, I’ll need to release the saddle.”

“Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”

“No, that’s…” that was a terrible explanation on your part, “That’s the thing. I feel as though I might fall off if I do. Could you just…tighten your hold on me to make up for my own lack of grip? At least that way, I can trick my mind into thinking I’m attached to something.”

The literal second you stopped talking, you wanted to slap your palm against your forehead. What did you just ask Claude to do? And so casually, too. It didn’t help that you had no backup plan; everything was riding on how he chose to answer your question.

But before you could process what that really meant, you felt him shifting behind you. Your back was moved into his chest as the pressure around your waist increased.

“How’s this?”

“Perfect.” you said lamely, attempting to play it off.

And then all of a sudden, fear engulfed you as you realized you would actually have to do this task you thought up in your head.

Uncomfortable with entirely free-handing it, you lifted one hand to cover your eyes as the other braced itself on Claude’s arm for support.

This can work. I can do this!

You opened your eyes within the darkness of your hand, then you slowly began to fan it out and peer through the gaps. Through them, you could see just how high up you were.

At once, you closed your hand and shut your eyes. It was too much. Instinctively, your body tried to back away only to be met with Claude’s chest. You stopped at the resistance, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, and started to shake.

You were trapped in the sky. There was nowhere for you to retreat. Your breathing was out of control, you were out of control…you couldn’t control anything up here! What were you thinki-

“I’m right here with you,” Claude spoke into your ear. “Take it easy. You’re alright.”

“I can’t. I can’t do it.”

He kept his tone calm, “Sure you can. The only thing stopping you is your fear, remember? So, what part of this are you so afraid of?”

“When I look at it...when I think about it…I’m afraid I might fall off.”

“But I’m here, aren’t I? Move all you’d like, but I’m not going to let you go unless you ask me to. And even if you do fall, I’m right here to catch you.”

“Right.” He was persuasive when he wanted to be, you gave him that. You wanted to believe him, and so you allowed his words to bring you into a state of ease.

“What else?”

What else was there, really? Thinking back, you never had an issue looking out at the view from the top balcony of your manor, so long as you stayed away from the rail. So maybe heights weren’t the issue.

“I think that’s it. I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of falling.”

“Well, you aren’t falling right now, are you? In this moment, you’re not facing any of your fears.”

That was…true, wasn’t it? You truly wanted to see the view from up here; you weren’t afraid of the sight by any means.

“So open your eyes. It’d be a waste, otherwise.”

You followed his instructions, opening your eyes from behind the darkness of your own hand. Gently, you felt Claude’s own hand brush against your own, slowly pulling it away. If he was waiting for some form of protest, you didn’t give him any.

It wasn’t a beautiful sight, really. It was predictable; exactly what you would have guessed the monastery grounds looked like from the sky.

Even so, you felt accomplished. The feeling made the whole experience that much better.

“How anticlimactic,” you commented. Well, at least you wouldn’t have to go through this episode in a place where it mattered, like on a battlefield.

Claude laughed so hard that he almost did fall off the wyvern (which meant he almost pulled you with him!). You wouldn’t let him hear the end of it, lecturing and insulting him the whole journey to the ground for “almost killing you”, “endangering your life”, and of course, for how “terrible of a friend” he was.

He settled for doing the majority of the stable work to make it up to you.

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