#don’t discourse me I’m an old man

[pretend-erin]

Stray thoughts on Kururi & Mairu

So I am probably one of the very few Kururi & Mairu fans and I want to talk about them. They are, unfortunately, victims of being anime girls from the 2000s - there are a lot of problematic things in drrr that we, as a fandom, should acknowledge and discuss. Simon, Namie, the treatment of characters like Vorona and Anri, I could go on. But right now, I want to talk about the twins.

We don’t get a lot of information on the Orihara family as a whole. All we know is that Izaya was very isolated as a child, and seemed to resent his sisters for being carbon copies of each other. So the girls decided that they would be opposites. They picked their personality traits, splitting them evenly. That’s why they act opposite in the chat room - they do it all on purpose.

I can only speculate here, but it seems like the Orihara parents may not have been around a lot. Actually nobody seems to have parents in drrr. Why was Masaomi able to do all that while he was in middle school???? And the only parents we see are awful - like Shingen?????? He’s our parental figure in this show????Anyway. It’s a pretty common headcanon that Izaya’s parents were not very present, so we can only assume the same for the girls. Izaya, due to his own issues, resented them. All they had was each other. And that is not good!

If you think about it, their codependence is really sad. They’ve had to rely on each other for everything. Even though they purposefully act different from one another, they need the other one in order to feel whole. Izaya said they were basically the same person, and they changed that. But in the process, they cut themselves in half. They’re still operating as one.

When we meet the twins, they seem pretty comfortable around the people Izaya frequently interacts with - mainly Shizuo. He clearly knows them, and knows them well enough to evade them gently. He’s a lot kinder to the girls, even if they get on his nerves.

They quickly befriend the van gang, Mikado and Anri, Shinra and Celty, and Akane. They are present at the contentious Hot Pot Party. And Izaya knows that. He knows his sisters are hanging out with all the people on his chessboard.

Suddenly, they’re part of the chatroom. They’re directly interacting with Aoba (which, are they not kinda parallels to Anri and Masaomi to Aoba’s Mikado??). They have their dojo. Akane Awakusu looks up to them. And even though they get bullied, they have a community to fall back on. They’re not alone anymore.

It kinda seems like everyone who knows Izaya stepped in as big siblings to the twins. They continuously reject him, and he rejects them back. But they have something he doesn’t. Something he’s clearly jealous of.

They’ve never really been alone, they’ve always had each other.

And yeah, the canon portrays that in a super weird way. Sometimes they take the “twisted love” concept too far. But these characters are a lot more interesting than the jokes made at their expense. Sometimes I just pretend the canon isn’t true. I don’t like it! I wish they didn’t do it!!! That’s why I never used to talk about how much I like the twins - people will always fall back on the same joke like it’s 2009. Sometimes you just have to snatch them out of the canon. Take them out of their shitty narrative, they’re mine now >:3

Unfortunately, a lot of the female characters in drrr get ignored or misrepresented by the fandom. Even Celty! Hell, the anime goes out of its way to not make Celty the main character. We get stuck with Mikado for most of the show’s run.

I guess I just find it odd that the fandom doesn’t give the same grace and understanding to the girls as they do the guys. Izaya is everyone’s poor little meow meow (and I’m including myself in that statement) but what about the TWINS???

Idk I think their parallels to Izaya are really interesting, they have everything he doesn’t have. They’re still strange, and may not fit in with their peers, but they’re treated with respect by the very people Izaya focuses most of his time and energy on.

I also think it is so funny that Izaya had two little freak sisters the entire time and we find out about them in an OVA lmao

Like the funniest thing you can do to Izaya is give him annoying little sisters and then not mention them until it’s funny to do so

It’s like when Roger Rabbit can’t take his hand out of the handcuff until it’s funny, it is so funny to introduce these two after you’ve built Izaya up so much. Like he’s just a weird guy with weird sisters. He gets mad when they join his chatroom where he pretends to be a teenage girl. They’re a cringefail family and we simply must respect that.

#brain scramblies #drrr #durarara #kururi and mairu #kururi orihara #mairu orihara #I just have so many thoughts and feelings about them #I want to steal them from Narita. they’re mine now. you did a bad job with them so now they’re mine #this is also kind of Izaya analysis uh oh #don’t discourse me I’m an old man

[chrollohearttags]

I literally never had an issue or felt insecure abt my sexuality until I start interacting with heteronormative, allo ppl lmao. one convo and I’m ready to off myself.

#cherry chats 🍒 #rant in tags #like how am I supppsed to respond lmao #and please don’t get me started on the infantilization #‘you poor baby you just haven’t found the right person yet 🥺’ please go to hell lmao #and I’m so serious #it’s so frustrating bc you’re literally happy and then the world around you makes you feel like ur broken bc you don’t live like them #‘ur still a virgin? that’s so cute 🥺’ I literally wasn’t comfortable being around a man alone until 2 yrs ago and couldn’t tell anybody why #lmao get the fuck out my face #and I shouldn’t have to disclose trauma to justify something I’ve felt since I was old enough to understand relationships #cw discourse #cw sa implied #cw acephobia #cw arophobia #i’m sorry yall #I’m just in a spicy mood tonight #one of my old friends hmu just to talk about her man and I wanna claw my eyes out #this is why I’ve been ghost from social media for 6 mos

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager #I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol #give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway #like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces #not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing #also very nasty #sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽 #sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it- #I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo #one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen #i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol #again #I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho #like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose #of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell… #this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out #a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship #stuff and like discourse #and the behavior of the fans… #these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me #I just think there needs to be a balance lol #like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it #but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾‍♀️ #rambling

[icequeen-07]

why are there anti max memes in my lads tag

#tiger talks #IM GONE FOR TWO MONTHS #HOW DARE #he’s just a baby!!!! #I get it if u ship something else but really??? #lmao I have Travis’ tag blocked and like EVERYTHING is gone #I’m tired of that old man in tags he shouldn’t be in #and I’m tired of people bashing max for that freakin ship #let me have my boy in peace #don’t tag ur character hate in that tag like oml #who taught u about fandom spaces #I understand not liking him but goddamn how many times must I filter travis’ tag #discourse #rants

[morelikedoccock]

Discourse again

I’m done with this crap I stg

If you understand that I have every right to block you then why tf are you sending long messages to my fucking personal art blog that I only mentioned here once months ago (because I blocked you on my other blogs)

Take the L and move on bro, find better and more interesting people to follow

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if we’re not close friends here I don’t owe you anything. We literally don’t know each other.

I will practice common decency as best I can but goddamn if you push me I’m not going to entertain bullshit for any longer than it takes me to press the block button. I know that sounds harsh but this is the internet. We are strangers to each other. And if I block you, just move on. I’m sick right now and depressed and burnt-out as all hell, I don’t have the time or energy to explain these things to someone who doesn’t even respect my boundaries.

#cerbin speaks #discourse #ffs people #I’m coughing so hard my ribs have started to bother me please for the love of god don’t block evade #it honestly makes me nervous when people do this shit #I’m sorry I haven’t been creating much lately but goddamn #once again I am a human being with life stuff to deal with #and I wrote SO MUCH in the past few months I need a long break #if a creator I liked blocked me sure I’d be upset but I also know that trying to block evade n ask them why literally accomplishes nothing #it’s happened before and I just had to accept it and move on #I’m too old for this shit #old and sick and cranky and tired #once again to those of you who are down to stick with me #I appreciate y’all endlessly #I’m sorry for being a crabby old man like this

[cock-holliday]

Idk man it’s so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said “ok” then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences I’ve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said “wow, I’m impressed and intimidated by people like that. I don’t know that I could be that chill with pronouns.” I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of “opposite” gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said “You could just do it.” I’ve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctor’s office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said “makes sense.” And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. I’ve had gay women love my facial hair. I’ve had gay men like my tits. It’s all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And it’s more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.

#LJsm

[daybrightsims]

Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3

To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.

I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.

I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.

Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).

Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).

Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.

Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).

Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.

Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.

I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.

Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”

To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.

If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.

If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.

Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.

But it does.

Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.

Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 companions #spawn astarion #astarion #polyamory #enm #ethical non monogamy #halsin x astarion #act iii #halsin #monogamy

[baixueagain]

Couldn’t help but notice this reblog in a certain recent “queer is a slur” discourse post.

Beyond being ahistorical, it is significant in its third paragraph, which is almost entirely made up with TERF and alt right dog whistles. For anyone who has even a basic idea of what to look for, this blogger has just outright shown their hand.

Let’s start from the beginning of the text I’ve marked in blue:

“a pedophilia and incest apologist”

This is a very handy tactic especially prevalent in alt-right rhetoric these days. It stigmatises anything it is attached to, in this case the person who coined the term “queer theory.” Topics like pedophilia and incest are extremely taboo and emotionally laden, and attaching them to a subject will cause many people to automatically distance themselves from that term out of a semi-instinctive desire to not associate themselves with such things. Spread this attachment widely enough, and you can push entire groups into abandoning terminology, praxis, and people.

For the record, I’m not sure of the source for this claim. The woman who coined the term “queer theory” was Teresa de Laurentis, and I’ve never seen anything by her which tries to excuse pedophilia or incest. She certainly wrote about the gendered nature of incest, but this was in no way laudatory. This may also be a reference to the work of Gloria Anzaldua, who helped further popularize the term. She spoke frankly and openly about her sexual fantasies, many of them of a taboo nature, because of her firm belief in de-stigmatizing discussions about human sexual behaviour. Not only are such fantasies extremely common, they are in no way apologetics for real life abuse, nor do they predict real life behaviour.

“a straight woman with a fetish for gay men”

We’ve gotten to the transphobic dogwhistle now. This is an accusation frequently used against trans men and nonbinary AFAB people, especially those who pursue relationships with men. With the current surge in transphobic public rhetoric, it has received a new breath of life, and trans mlm are currently facing a slew of accusations of being straight women/girls who have just fetishized gay men to the point that they’re trying to “become” gay men/boys themselves (CW: link leads to transphobic hate site genderhq.org). These accusations are even being used in queer circles--including by trans people--to gatekeep who “gets” to write fiction about mlm. Just a week ago, for example, queer writer Alex Marraccini accused indie trans mlm author Ana Mardoll of fetishizing mlm, claiming that Ana’s “fetishistic” writing isn’t nearly as groundbreaking or liberating as the work of real cis gay men.

I’m not sure who the blogger is referring to here as there’s no real consensus on who first used the term “queer studies.” However, I think they may be referring to Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, who was most certainly not a straight woman. She was queer and came out as a trans man, though as far as I know continued to publicly prefer she/her pronouns (hence my own pronoun use here).

“use intentionally over academic language”

Ah, good old anti-intellectualism. If I can’t understand you, you must be using over-academic language just to confuse me on purpose. This dogwhistle not only gives people an excuse to dismiss anything they don’t understand straight away, it pushes the conspiracy theory that we academics are part of an ivory tower conspiracy to Queer Everything for...reasons (see below).

“to obfuscate that their founding texts and members are Marxists”

Aaaand here we are, the full show of the hand. This blogger is either alt-right or well down the pipeline to becoming one. The old chestnut that These Academics We Disagree With are all secret Marxists is one that is, you guessed it, strongly tied into antisemitism and Nazi conspiracies that push the belief that Karl Marx, Marxism, and Marxists are part of a global Jewish conspiracy that seeks to destroy the West.

And of course we have one more “incest and pedophilia” whistle to round things off, just to doubly ensure that people understandably disgusted by those things attach them to queer theorists.

Anyway, once again I beg the good people of Tumblr to please pay close attention to TERF rhetoric, where it comes from, how it’s used, and the other movements that it is tied to. I am not being a paranoid conspiracist when I say that “queer is a slur” discoursers and “pedophilia and incest” scaremongers and their ilk (including anti-kink discoursers) are tied to TERF rhetoric, which is itself allied increasingly with the alt right. They are telling you this for themselves. Listen to them when they tell you who they are.

#queer #queer discourse #discourse #lgbtq #transphobia #terfism #dogwhistles #terf rhetoric

[lucvly]

— christmas headcannons with chris. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: fluff, cursing, mentions of sex, not proofread as always.

a/n: this is soo self indulgent help !! i love christmas fr.

— he’ll act like he literally doesn’t give a shit about christmas but on december 1 he’s already staying up late thinking about what he’s gonna give you.

— i don’t even wanna hear discourse about this but this man acts like a child around the holidays. he’ll enjoy december like he’s a 10 year old child who still thinks santa’s real.

— my man is quick to hang up those lights. it’ll deadass be mid november and he’s already asking you when you’re gonna decorate because he wants to help you.

— gingerbread house making is a must. he loves it. you do it at least three times in december because it’s by far one of his favorite traditions. of course he ends up building something that doesn’t look nearly close to a house but A for effort.

— you get matching ugly sweaters obviously. it’s your job to get them every year, and they progressively get worse. chris always complains about how itchy they are LMFAOO.

— baking christmas cookies with him is such a chore for real. you can’t even let him open the flour because it either ends up all on the floor, or on your face. don’t even ask him how to preheat the oven because those cookies will end up burnt.

— most times you have to make three or four batches of cookies because the first batch turns out awful, the second one: burnt.

— once your relationship gets really serious, you two make christmas cards and send them to your close family and relatives. it’s corny, sure, but you both love doing it.

— once every year, you go with him and his brothers for a late night drive just to see how people decorated around the neighborhood. chris always ends up falling asleep on your shoulder in the backseat while nick is yelling about how the lights should’ve been hung higher or how the reindeer is out of place.

— you best believe you’re writing letters to santa. it’s unserious but chris loves doing it, especially because he gets to write something along the lines of: “santa, all i want for christmas is my girlfriend under the tree. thx. — C” LMFAOOAOA sorry.

— you’re absolutely making matching ornaments. they have your initials on them it’s adorable. though decorating them is painful as hell because chris always ends up throwing glitter at you.

— takes elf on the shelf so serious like calm down!!! he better not catch anyone laying a finger on that dumbass elf or he’ll go absolutely insane.

— going christmas shopping with him is adorable. he gets so excited over what to get his brothers and his parents AWW, and he also gets a present for trevor obviously.

— you are never gonna know what that man gets you for christmas. he hides it so well it surprises you each year to be honest. you’re out here thinking he didn’t even get you a present and he’s already packing up at least three.

— definitely an expensive gift type of boyfriend, i’m talking tiffany necklaces, chanel bags, dior, ysl. and he doesn’t even care because seeing you happy makes him 10 times happier. (“baby, you didn’t have to– oh my god.” “i know, but i wanted to. you deserve it.”)

— of course you also get him cute and expensive gifts but you could seriously give him a rock and he’d cherish it as if you just gave him a gold bar.

— you two will absolutely watch christmas movies together, especially romcoms. he loves christmas romcoms LMFAOO. he’s the type to complain about the main character idc.

— he hangs up a mistletoe on his door just so he can tease you and give you a kiss every time you walk into his room. (“look, mistletoe, you gotta kiss me.” “chris i swear to god.”)

— christmas dinners are hilarious bye. he’ll deadass be eating 3 or 4 plates with no shame at all. you’re staring at him in disbelief and he just looks at you with his mouth full like “😊”. at least he’s happy LMFAOO.

— he gives you at least three presents. the first one is marked “from: santa, to: y/n” obviously you know it’s him LMFAO he thinks it’s cute and you just leave him be. second one is marked “from: chris, to: his girlfriend.” as if he wasn’t the one marking up those presents BYE. third one is “from: the best boyfriend ever, to: the prettiest girl.” he’s so cute somebody sedate me !!

— one hundred percent asks nick and matt to figure out what you got him for christmas. you’ve figured this out over the years so you don’t even give them hints anymore LMAOO.

— the worst jokes over the holidays seriously. (“hold on. babe, which cooking seasoning is the most festive?” “chris–” “christmas thyme.”) he needs to be stopped lord have mercy.

— secretly loves decorating. he’ll decorate with you all day fr. ornaments, mistletoes, the tree in general is his favorite. he cannot deal with putting up lights though. it pisses him off so badly– (only because he ends up tangled in them).

— i just know he makes hot chocolate with water. nuh uh. you had to teach him the correct way (with milk) because it was seriously getting on your nerves LMAO.

— he gets so lovey dovey over the holidays. he’s also horny 24/7 but that’s completely besides the point HELP. hands around your waist, arm around your shoulder, hand holding, everything.

— matching pjs YUP. he loves matching christmas outfits with you LMAO especially pjs. y’all have like four matching pj sets every year it’s so cute.

#lucvly #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #nick sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo x you #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo edit

[lunarblazes]

listen. listen okay i try not to discourse on this account, i really do, and i try so hard to keep an open mind about the dream team because i used to adore their content and i don’t think they’re bad people, but i’m so serious when i say that this time they’ve actually ruined mcc for me. the behavior they continue to display in these events would have gotten anyone else benched and they don’t seem to be aware of it at all. openly picking a fight in the game chat with a mod as a twenty two year old man and then having the audacity to sarcastically comment about it in the next game to make fun of the choice would have gotten ANYONE else banned and the fact that all three of them have been doing it for TWO STRAIGHT YEARS with no fucking consequences is insane. the only reason they’re still in this event is because they have huge audiences who would be absolutely rabid if they were kicked. i get being an overly competitive person—i am as well, i don’t do well with losing, i’m a perfectionist—but when your competitive spirit actively hinders the mood of people around you or causes you to lash out you need to take a step back and breathe. the fact that dream has been doing this for two years without doing ANY of this or taking responsibility for his comments is astounding. the noxcrew seriously should stage a fucking intervention and reality check these assholes, (not that i’m blaming them for their horrid behavior). the teenagers on orange are doing better and have BEEN doing better at sportsmanlike conduct than these grown ass men for years. fruit is entirely right about dream saying stupid shit in the chat. they are in this event as a privilege not a right and i think it’s time they’re reminded that they’re here on good graces just like everyone else. unbelievable.

#sorry i just. i REALLY gave them the benefit of the doubt #but it seems like EVERY EVENT they CONTINUE this pattern #and noxcrew takes the fall for it! scott takes the fall for it too! #everyone is punished by their actions except for them! #they stay in the same circle of teammates because nobody else wants to deal with their shitty attitudes #i’ve missed all of hitw and sot because of these assholes. as a VIEWER it’s working me up. #they’re actually just assholes. they’re literal children. i cannot believe this is how they act. #needed to get this off my chest. back to the fun event times because i hate discoursing #discourse #mcc #mcc 24

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

Thoughts on “Loser Baby”

—TW: talk about sexual assault/self-blaming for SA/internalized victim-blaming

I watched episode 4 of Hazbin. Warning that this will be partially more of a personal vent as well.

In regards to everything with the discourse surrounding episode 4–The arguments on Threads and all the talk about depiction of sexual assault and abuse. Well, it’s made me reflect a bit on my own assault.

And what made me reflect on it more than anything wasn’t actually “Poison”, although I will talk about my personal feelings on that later, it was “Loser, Baby”

I want to talk about my thoughts on the song—but before I do I’m going to talk briefly about my experience with sexual assault.

If I’m being honest, I feel like I have to bring it up. With all the contention surrounding the episode, I’m worried that if I try and just give my opinion, fans of the series will try and “disprove” my feelings or opinions on the song and episode.

Or say that I’m shutting down victims, even though I’m just trying to talk about how the song made me feel in relation to my own experience with sexual assault.

So. Here we go.

Final tw—talk of sexual assault/groping/internalized victim-blaming

I hesitate to even call it an assault, because I was groped, and I feel guilty calling it that. Like, there are victims who have been actually physically assaulted and raped and had it so much worse, and so I don’t have the right to call it “assault”.

Maybe I minimize it because it makes it less scary, the idea that there are people who just believe they can do whatever they want to you and your body. I don’t, and won’t, call myself a survivor because I just can’t when I think about everything others have had to go through and still survive. All I had to survive was the shame of what happened to me, and the shitty hangover I had the next day.

Anyway.

When I living abroad as a teacher, I was groped by a stranger multiple times while I was out drinking with coworkers. I didn’t speak the local language fluently. I’m pretty sure I was 24.

At the time I was really really drunk. I don’t remember a lot of that night, just that every-time I got up from our booth to go to the bathroom or get a drink this old man at the bar kept touching my ass.

And I remember not understanding what was happening at first, and then slowly realizing the situation. After that I know I drunkenly I told him off to his face angrily. I remember shouting “I do not forgive you” in the local language. I remember storming outside the bar. I remember that when I was screaming at this man who believed he had the authority to touch my body without my consent, he was smirking and smiling at me, unimpressed by my indignation.

My coworkers came outside and asked me if I needed a taxi to get home but I was so embarrassed that I said I was okay and walked home. I called my friend who was also a foreigner like me and told her what happened. I talked to her most of the walk home, and she comforted me and distracted me by telling me about her day when I asked her to.

I remember as I got close to my apartment I finally fell apart. I just have this memory of leaning up against a telephone poll down the street from my apartment building and sobbing against it. It was probably somewhere between 1 and 2 in the morning, and I had never felt more alone in my life.

I felt so embarrassed and so so stupid. Like. Why had I decided to drink that much? If I hadn’t I would’ve been able to tell what was going on sooner. Maybe I could have stopped it! Maybe the guy wouldn’t have touched me at all if I had been sober! I felt humiliated and violated and like I had made a fool of myself.

In short. I felt like a loser.

What I’ve come to realize since then is that no. I am not a loser. I didn’t do anything wrong that night.

It was the man that groped me, the man that wrongly believed he had a right to touch my body wherever he wanted, who was the loser.

I think that’s why the song “Loser Baby”, to me, is so so much worse than anything Poison could have portrayed. And why it feels so so unnecessarily hurtful.

I don’t want to “reclaim” the feeling I had that night. I want to scream and scream and scream at the man who assaulted me until his head pops like a balloon.

I want to tell EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Who has ever been touched or groped or assaulted or worse that, no, it’s not your fault. It will never be your fault. You did not do anything wrong. You are not to blame for this. You are not a loser, and you have nothing, nothing, NOTHING to be ashamed of.

And. I think I also want to somehow minimize what happened, because I know that worse has happened to other people.

When I think about this—and don’t worry, I think about it very rarely now—but when I do, a part of me says “you’re complaining about that? A couple of ass pats and grabs? What’s wrong with you? Other people have been raped! What you went through was nothing! Quit whining and feeling sorry for yourself”

And the same way I try to minimize my own feelings and pain about when I was sexually assaulted, Husk minimizes Angel Dusts feelings and trauma around his abusive relationship. I realized that was a big part of why the song upset me so much too.

In the show Husk sings to Angel about how he’s being a baby. About how he’s whining and lots of people have it bad or are also in shitty situations and are losers so he should embrace it. That they’re losers together!

Except after seeing the beginning of the episode and after seeing the montage of abuse Angel went through in Poison, I don’t want him to think he’s a loser. He’s not. He’s not sloppy seconds, he’s not used goods, or a degenerate, or a cum-dumpster, or “problematic”.

He’s not those things to me anyway. To me, he’s an abuse survivor who deserves love and respect and to be told that he is not to blame for his abuse.

And I really don’t think the intent behind the song was to say that he is all those things and that he is truly a loser. At least. I hope that wasn’t the intent. But I personally have a really REALLY hard time interpreting it any other way.

If the song makes you feel empowered, or safe, or anything positive, I want you to know that I am truly, truly not trying to take those feelings away from you. Nothing I say can invalidate your feelings, your opinions, your passion for things you love. Please remember that.

I’m just talking about my experience and my own feelings regarding the song and the episode. And well.

It made me feel real bad.

(Final note—it’s okay to reblog this—but PLEASE do not use it as a way to shut survivors or victims who feel differently than me down. Please don’t use it to invalidate anyone’s feelings or opinions. I wanted to share my feelings here, because I felt strongly about doing so, because I felt like maybe I was just crazy and the only one feeling hurt by this at all, and because I knew if I didn’t get them out somewhere I was just going to fester on them until I got even more upset.)

#funhouse convo #Hazbin hotel critical #Hazbin hotel critique #Hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel episode 4 #hazbin hotel spoilers #loser baby #loser baby was like a slap in the face honestly #vent post #personal vent #media criticism #media critique #angel dust hazbin hotel #angel dust poison #poison

[atopvisenyashill]

seeing how some greens act like rhaenyra being groomed by her uncle, and subsequently being unable to let go of him, is HER personal failure turned me into a rhaenyra extremist when i simply enjoyed her character beforehand.

im really glad you're speaking about it because even though it's fiction, it still perpetuates a very dangerous rhetoric

wait this gives me an excuse to ramble, pls excuse me if i phrase things maybe a little crassly here, it’s a delicate topic i’m speaking indelicately about but also, i think i should be allowed bc [redacted] BUT-

obviously i don’t like, love, some of the changes to the show but i think the first half does a great job of setting it up to where you can see both alicent and rhaenyra are surrounded exclusively by much older men who want to fuck them, and have just no way of knowing who is being genuine with them. because no one is really! so you have episode 4, where alicent is sleeping in a room with pornographic art on the wall and being called to her husband’s bed and she can’t say no, and he’s not going to do anything to make the whole thing even marginally easier for her. and then you have rhaenyra, pulled from her bed by her uncle to a brothel, and she’s completely exposed, and she’s experiencing new things, and he’s purposefully trying to make this feel good but also overwhelming for her, then abandons her drunk & confused & half naked. this is The Same Thing - they’re both being used and manipulated by a much older man, but because that manipulation looks different, they react different. but it’s still manipulation.

yes, the type of abuse is different when it’s like, your ugly ancient grandpa grooming you vs a handsome 30 year old stranger you met online that you tell all your high school friends is your boyfriend, but ultimately, both the grandpa and the 30 year old boyfriend are abusers but more importantly, the granddaughter and the high schooler are both victims!!! i think a lot of people when analyzing this whole thing, will pin daemon as a groomer but then completely forget that this also makes rhaenyra a victim. some people will even hee hee haw haw over it because “oh your feminist icon would rather marry her groomer uncle than her gay cousin in the book” DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF. could it possibly be that rhaenyra prefers daemon to laenor because daemon has manipulated her into thinking she is only free with him? she is only safe with him?? could it possibly be that he has been giving her gifts and taking physical liberties with her for her whole life, and being the Good Cop, Sweet Confidant to her parents Bad Cop her whole life, that she feels taken in by him because he is all she knows???? in the same vein that alicent just swallows all the poison and bullshit from otto because that’s her father, and his protection is all she knows????

honestly part of like ~the discourse~ that’s most frustrating is that most greens just refuse to see rhaenyra’s pov or see that she’s also a grooming victim grasping for power to protect her own children, again just like alicent, but on the flip side, most of the analysis from the blacks side is like “if you think nyra is a victim of grooming you are just as bad as the people calling her a whore for having children out of wedlock” and like, how do you even engage with that. with either of those opinions. you can’t wksjd so if youre, ya know, like a normal fucking person who can see how both girls are being manipulated, but you have like a fondness for nyra specifically, it’s just constant bad takes. there’s nowhere to go to escape the bad takes.

i thought we had already hashed out this idea that being aware or unaware of your victimhood doesn’t suddenly mean you’re not being oppressed during the main show with arya and sansa but no, we’ve actually just taken this exact same annoying fandom discourse about which teenage girl is dealing with being abused in the most acceptable way and made it a thousand times worse.

#and like the ~analysis~ side will be like ‘nyra is a dumb bitch for trusting daemon’ but if you said that about ali and larys you’d get shot #and i’m not even exaggerating the way people talk about her it’s always this ‘she should have known better’ HOW #if u get that ali couldn’t have ever known better when it comes to her own kids. why does this not apply to nyra. #perhaps………….it is bc you cannot concieve of her as anything but the aggressor. #asks #anons

[gatheringbones]

[“I never felt like I was born in the wrong body,” he says, referring to the dominant medical discourse, though he hated looking in the mirror and says he “felt extreme discomfort” with the body he had. Lucas has been binding his chest for two years using a compression sports bra, always a little too tight, usually followed by a T-shirt and a man’s shirt. He does so for safety, because he sometimes goes to rural Putnam County: “very small, really Southern places,” doing HIV education. “If they knew I was queer, let alone trans, I would probably be killed, so I kind of have to keep all of that very much on the ‘down low’ when I’m doing work out in the community.” But to his co-workers he is “very, very out.” For Lucas, undergoing top surgery is an assertion of what some feminists call bodily autonomy. Pro-choice activists argue that the government has no right to tell women what to do with their body; transgender activists say that they have the right to change their body if they please.

Lucas is at the surgeon’s office with Oliver, a former boyfriend who is also a bearded trans man; and Rachel, a bisexual Latina, his “soul mate and sister.” Lucas says he has “always known” he wanted top surgery,” even before he began injecting testosterone. A few friends in Gainesville who had undergone surgery with Dr. Garramone became mentors to younger trans people in town like Lucas, directing them to friendly therapists and doctors, and helping them get letters for testosterone. Having crowdfunded the $7,000 he needed for top surgery, Lucas is giving away $500 to charity.

And then there is Nadia, a twenty-eight-year-old from St. Louis who works as an employment coach at a nonprofit agency. The odd girl out, she is having her chest masculinized, but not as part of a gender transition. As a how-to book suggests, top surgery is “not just for those transitioning from female to male” but also for others on the gender spectrum, including “gender non-conforming, gender fluid, bi-gender, butch, and so on.” Nadia feels some camaraderie with trans men undergoing top surgery and considers herself “near the trans community, but not in it.” She has short brown hair, bushy eyebrows, and olive skin, and she is wearing large horn-rimmed glasses, a men’s shirt, and hip-hugging straight-leg jeans that look baggy on her slender frame.

When Nadia was twenty-one, her breasts suddenly grew to about a 32C. “They just went boom,” she says, and she told me they felt outsized for her small frame. At certain points in her monthly cycle, when they bloomed even more, she couldn’t even bring herself to get dressed. She felt more comfortable in an androgynous style, wore men’s clothing, and hated the way her buxom bosom made her clothes fit. And she loathes having them touched. She identifies as female and has no interest in taking testosterone, but she sees her breasts as an impediment, a part of her body that does not reflect how she sees herself. Nadia’s queer circle includes trans friends with whom she shares a deep sense of alienation from standard-issue notions of femaleness. She is here with her girlfriend, Flora, an art student whom she met on OkCupid four years ago; the two were drawn together by their mutual interest in art, politics, and graphic novels.

Nadia upends conventional notions of what women should look like and how they should be. She’ll remain female, but she shares with the others here today the belief that their breasts don’t fit and that by changing their bodies they can become more comfortable in their skin and more successful in their lives.”]

arlene stein, from unbound: transgender men and the remaking of identity, 2018

#arlene stein #currently reading #gender stuff #lesbian literature

[vitanithepure]

I want to hear your take on teacher Gale.

Not in the sexy professor kind of way, mind out of the gutter, but in the actual act of taking on a pupil, an apprentice.

I have no idea how that works in D&D and until BG3 and meeting Rolan I imagined it all worked more individually. Like, you wanna learn magic? Go grab a book and set the barn on fire! And it appears that there are entire schools devoted to learning magic? Academies? Not gonna lie, this was not what I imagined it to look like.

I really loved interacting with Rolan while playing as Gale. It wasn’t all that much different, perhaps, but being in the correct mindset during the whole Lorroakan plot was at least giving a perspective. And no, Rolan did not entertain the thought of seeking out a new teacher, claiming all he needed to learn was already here in the tower he inherited.

But back to the question at hand - do you guys think Gale would be a good teacher? Would he even want to?

He’s passionate about what he does, and he strikes me as a kind of person who enjoys gaining knowledge through discourse with his peers. He likes to share what he knows. He does so on numerous occasions. The Weave scene in act 1 gives a glimpse of what he would be as a teacher, but that moment was born out of loneliness and longing, just a thought that appeared in his mind and he decided to go with it.

I think that, perhaps, he would be more suited for an impromptu kind of teaching. Let me paint a picture:

I’m still imagining young kiddo Gale following Elminster’s every movement around Waterdeep when he visits the city, absolutely star-struck even though the old man is just going around doing his business. But sometimes, sometimes, Elminster indulges this inquisitive little lad with a little magic trick just to watch him scribble down what he saw down to every last detail.

And I imagine Gale would do exactly that, too. He’s an open book, you ask him a question and get a book’s worth of knowledge in one go. Don’t think he would mind someone seeking him out to ask questions or talk about something magic-related. There is a lot of stuff that can be learned through observation as well.

So, what do you think?

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 #bg3 spoilers

[lambment]

FAQ & Important Info

About me:

bday: march 30th

lgbt?: im bi

What can we call you?

Lambment is fine, its supposed to be a play on of Lament or Lambent you can also call me Pepaw!

What pronouns do you use?

I'd prefer They/Them, but you can use She/Her.

Whats your Main blog?

Im still deciding whether I want to have my two blogs associated, Im enjoying the anonyminity. That being said, I may say whatever and link em', but you'll just have to wait until then.

Mutuals are free to ask though, theres a level of understanding that I trust you when I started following you.

Art Related:

What art program(s) do you use?

Procreate and Clip studio Paint. Brushes: Shiyoon Kims Wet Brush pack (X) and several Max Packs (X) for procreate in CSP I use the defaults + these two lineart brushes (X) (X)

How long have you been drawing?

I've always drawn, but I started getting really serious at 14, around the same time I first made my main blog. I was self taught up until I got into animation school.

What do you do as a career?

I'm currently doing Freelance work for companies and individuals. I was previously an animator, I'm moving over to storyboarding now.

Do you have a store for your art?

yes, probably wont be posting it here until/if I decide to link my main blog, But I'm willing to make prints or zines in the future!

Do you take requests/commissions?

I do have commissions. all the slots are currently filled, but you can message me and request an inquiry for wait times/prices.  for the time being small requests are open, they may close soon, and there’s no real guarantee I’d do anything with them.

Asks and Messaging:

Rules for asks/tagging?

Anyone can send me a message, Mutuals, Anons or not!

Dont send discourse or anything explicitly NSFW. you'll be blocked lol. suggestive I dont mind, also artistic nudity is oki doki, but if theres two people tangoing I dont want to see it. if you send me triggering content I’ll mind blast you into dust. (block).

Do not send and DNI's?

Transphobia, Homophobia, Acephobia. All the obvious bigot contenders.

SA, pdfilia and incest are absolute no goes.

***very important to note to be aware of when you’re making sexual comments on someones posts, are you actually being ‘funny haha’ or are u just being explicit.

are you okay with me direct messaging you?

only if we have spoken before/ you're giving me a headsup about something/ I've prompted you to send me one. Mutuals are free to DM though. willy nilly even.

***minors: please refrain from dming me to chit chat, im not down to and it will probably end with me lecturing you about internet safety.***

Why don’t you answer my asks/dms?

my main blog has +1000 unanswered asks... I’m tiored. (I also hoard the nice ones sometimes like its a pile of treasure, dont ask me why) as for DM's, unprompted messages from strangers will not always get answered sorry. I also sometimes just dont see it because im an old man w ADHD thats logged off the internet.

Misc

why are you posting political stuff on your art/fandom blog?

because I can and caring should have no such boundaries.

Can you reblog my donation posts?

no. too many scams.

#faq page #alot of these are just FAQ's from my main blog #u can ignore this

[toomanyopinionss]

i wanna talk abt

the CW DC shows

man how far they fell…

Of course this list was prompted by the fact that the Flash is coming to an end, signaling the end of an era.

There’s a multitude of reasons why these shows went in flames:

troubling production, some truly awful plot lines, the racism, the queerbaiting…

however, the highs were so HIGH. Every once in a while, i’ll think about the crossovers and get happy nostalgia tingles. they were so iconic.

the penultimate memorable moments in each of the shows.

From the time Barry first broke the sound barrier, to the time Cisco DIED by Dr. Wells but barry ran so fast he went back in time and undid it, to the time Caitlyn’s dead fiancé came back, fused with an old ass professor, just to die again shortly afterwards 😂😂

From the time Oliver’s mom blew up the city with the help of the man she had an affair with (which ended up killing the guys whole son 🤡), to the time Oliver took Felicity to his mansion and told her he loved her as a mIsDiReCt, to the ENTIRE season 5.

From the time Kara came out as supergirl just to save her sister, to the time that same sister actually came out (which, at 14, was so important to me), to the first time Lena Luther is introduced and every time she’s in screen afterwards. (Season 2 was just *chefs kiss*)

and that’s just the main three. don’t tell me that when you think of legends of tomorrow, a good 5 scenes don’t immediately pop into your head. what a batshit crazy piece of media.

Now there’s a lot of discourse as to what started the spark that caught flame and caused this entire franchise to explode as horribly as it did.

some say that Barry going back in time and fucking with the timeline ruined it

some say that the beginning of the end was the batwoman show, one of the hottest messes to come out of the CW’s ass since riverdale’ third season

some even blame the death of captain cold. a very VALID complaint

regardless of what you think, i believe that now that the arrowverse is coming to it’s inevitable end, it’s a good time to look back and reminisce. With the writers strike happening (show your support btw), and the fact that streaming services are unwilling to release seasons with more than 10 episodes, i cherish the time i spent with these shows even more. i grew up with them (for reference, i was born in 2003, so i was 9 when arrow came out for the first time). My dad had the first 3 seasons of Arrow on dvd.

Iris was one of the first black women I saw on screen after transitioning out of my disney channel phase. And she wasn’t a side character or anything, she was a main character and the love interest of the superhero. regardless of what you think abt iris as a character, that shit just wasn’t the norm back in 2015.

When sara lance kissed the daughter of the head of league of assassins in front of her ex-boyfriend, and it was as just another tuesday in star city. such an important scene.

look, all this to say. I will miss this era***. even if I stopped watching the flash during the 8th season. i didn’t realize how comforting it was knowing it was still out there.

***i know the superman and lois hasn’t officially been cancelled yet. but i’m protecting my heart. cuz it’s a really good show.

Goodbye, Arrowverse

********(2012-2023)********

#toomanyopinions #netflix #the flash #the arrow #supergirl #superman and lois #legends of tomorrow #batwoman #arrowverse #barry allen #iris west #oliver queen #felicity smoak #kara danvers #alex danvers #lena luthor #sara lance #captain cold #cisco ramon #caitlyn snow #harrison wells #the cw #the cw network #the cwverse #the cw tv series