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nyxthejinx · 1 year

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Heya!

I just saw your open for request post and want to commission an Cyno x gn!reader, please? :) a fluffy and spicy drabble would be lovely. Maybe smth like.. the reader is good friends with Cyno and Tighnari but the reader went on a journey thru teyvat and met the Aether (traveler) on their way and since then they traveled together and been thru much so they have a connection ofc and then when the reader and Aether visit sumeru and they meet Cyno - he will get all jealous? Cause he sees how close they are and he fears that he missed his chance with the reader? But obvsly its not like that and yeah. A lil bit of making out at the end, please? cause Cyno needs to let out some steam after his jealously :^)

Thank you for doing requests btw!

FIRST. It took ages but I was able to sell my soul in exchange for inspiration only recently, I'm so sorry. SECOND thank YOU for asking, I wasn't sure about this until the 3am among us potion made it work. THIRD beautiful pfp, akaza bb fr i love him a normal amount I promise. FOURTH it's 5 am, literally I'm not kidding, I tried to proofread and all that but I don't even know what's my name anymore so I'm sorry for typos and shit. FIFTH I hope It makes sense, enjoy 💀

𝐓𝐖: Fluff and obviously spice (making out, vague allusions to the dirty deeds ;) ), use of petnames (dear, love), lemme know if I missed something.

𝐅𝐭.: Cyno, Aether (but he's your homie) - GN!Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.5k

𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨: Rendezvous - Little Mix (god this song is such a banger)

Cyno fears nothing.

"Cyno, this is Aether."

Cyno fears one thing.

He'd felt so happy after reading your last letter. You said you'd be back in a few days with a special surprise, but honest to Archons the fact you'd be coming back to him - for him, he’d wanted to say, but not dared to- was enough of a present.

He surely wasn't expecting that this "surprise" would be none other than the Traveler who's saved Sumeru, though. A charming blondie who drifts a bit too close to you, in Cyno's opinion.

"We met in Liyue, he's amazing." You smile, squeezing the blond's shoulder. "He's a well known traveler across Teyvat, even in regions he has yet to visit!"

"I just help those who need it, not that much of a big deal."

Aether blushes and rubs his neck. Aether blushes. And you're touching him in a way that only close friends do.

It's fine, Cyno wants to think. You're allowed to do whatever you want in your life, he sure as hell won't stand in your way. He already stepped aside back in the days, as you excitedly told him how one of his worst fears came true you were leaving for adventure.

Everything to make you happy.

But his mixed feelings would always get in the way and unleash endless internal conflicts. It wasn't simply about not having you around, it was some kind of longing sitting inside his chest and screaming at you not to go.

It was the distance that made him realise: he was, and still is, far too in love for his own good.

And Aether could get in the way of that.

"We meet again, Traveller." The General nods, pushing down such shameful thoughts. "I'm glad to see you are both fairing well."

"It's all thanks to [Name], actually." Aether nudges you in the ribs. "They're really helpful, no matter the task."

You smirk. "Oh, what an honour. The traveller complementing me, a common, mortal nobody."

"Hey, I'm not that annoying!"

"Maybe. But you sure snore at night. That is annoying."

"Wh-! I don't. I know for a fact-"

No, you don't sound like close friends. You sound like a married couple. What just happened in this handful of months? Did Cyno hesitate too long and lost his chance? Now that he had decided to expose his deepest feelings?

"You guys! Paimon is starving here."

Paimon's shrill voice cuts short the bicker, as the Matra's jaw clenches. Good time, credits to Paimon, but seeing the two of you stroll towards the tavern didn't ease the knot in his chest the slightest.

Your laughter wasn't addressed to him nor to his uncanny jokes. He wasn't the one making you smile.

He was the moon and he'd just been eclipsed by the Traveller's brightest light.

Dinner was... Gut wrenching, to say the least.

You'd known Cyno long enough to tell apart his feelings even as he wears that stoic facade of his. While Paimon and the Traveller didn't have a single clue about the situation, you could feel his dry gaze burning holes on both of your figures, as if the sun had ascended back to the skies and everything around had turned desert.

He was feeling something you'd never quite seen within him.

It took you a bit too long to realise that the fair, lawful General Mahamatra was jealous, of all things.

He was so subtle with it, carefully hid his resentment in his voice and choice of words, in his gestures and mannerisms. But worst of all he didn't propose a single joke during the meal, not even when you laid the chance on a silver platter for him.

That had your mind reeling for the rest of your time together, and even afterwards, as you waved goodnight to Aether and Paimon. As you walked these streets you still know by heart with your dearest friend by your side.

As you choked on the thick air surrounding the two of you.

Maybe you should've left Aether out of it, for the first day, at least. Cyno hadn't seen you in so long, perhaps he didn't like the way Aether inadvertently hogged your attention the entire time when all he wanted was to hear about your adventures.

Yeah, you'd been an idiot for that one.

But, you still had an ace up your sleeve. Quite literally. One that would grant you his forgiveness and hopefully help you say the words to him.

Because of course, it took you less than a week far from him to realise you were smitten for this dad-jokes-spitting being.

You patted your side as you approached Razan Garden in all its glory, and sighed at the feeling of the rectangular box still inside. You could do it, you had to! It took you months of preparation, you wouldn't let it go to waste.

"[Name]." Cyno's voice was soft, as if to match the atmosphere lingering in the marble gazebo. He'd stopped a couple steps ahead of you, but didn't turn to meet your eyes. "My congratulations and best wishes."

You alt abruptly at that. Where the hell is it coming from?

"Uh, thank you?" You quirk a brow. "Did I do something special without knowing?"

He chuckles under his breath. Yes, you are special and he's grateful a being so perfect can exist in this world and is part of his life. But he would never tell you that.

He turns instead. His eyes rich with emotion, gentler. "I'm beyond glad that you found the right person out there, [Name]."

Oh. Oh.

"I only ever hoped for your happiness and well-being, during this period of time."

"Cyno, wait a sec-"

He takes a step forward. "If I had to voice my honest thoughts... I must admit I couldn't find peace of mind knowing you would've been out there alone."

"Cyno-"

"But I see you're perfectly capable of handling your own," the man sighs, shakes his head. A small smile curves his lips. "Just like you've always done."

"Oi-"

And then he's placing loose hands on your shoulders, as if he's in some kind of automatic mode and has to finish the speech at all costs.

For a moment you think he's gone absolutely senile. "Still, I'm relieved you have someone who can watch your back, now. He's a kind-hearted person, level headed, the best you could wish for-"

"Archons' fucking sake, Cyno! Will you hear me out a damn second?"

Cyno almost jumps back, taken out of his weird reverie, but you're quick to trap his face between your hands. You're close, closer than you'd wanted to, unfocused in your frustrated fervor. So much his breath warms the apple of your cheek, as it wasn't burning already.

You take a breath and force more words out before you can cower away from it. "I get where you're coming from, I neglected you today and acted like a shitty friend. And I'm sorry for that."

You lower your gaze to the ground. Now or never. "But it's you, okay? It's always been you! I could travel across all Teyvat and even Celestia, but it's you and just you. So drop that thing you're on about please."

That was disgustingly corny. But hopefully did the trick, you guess.

A beat passes. Then two. You don't see his face, you don't have the courage to take a look at the mess you've made. Him being jealous didn't mean he liked you, not necessarily. Maybe you should've given him the TCG deck and call it a night.

Another beat goes by.

"So... You and Aether are not...?"

He's gonna be the death of you.

You groan, a guttural sound that shouts exasperation from the deepest parts of your chest. All rationality goes to hell as you drag him closer and slam your lips together.

You're kissing him. Archons you're kissing him-

There's no time for Cyno to react. You're pulling away in a frenzy, hoping the ground will open for the Abyss to swallow you right now. You kissed one of your friends only to prove that you're single, and in fact attracted to them. Could it be worse than that? More humiliating and disrespectful to him?

"I'm so sorry!" You wave your hands around. "I shouldn't have without your permission! Are you okay?"

You search his expression for any sign of discomfort; he looks absolutely flabbergasted, but somehow weirdly composed like a bronze statue. His lips -god you'd just kissed them- are parted in the slightest, his eyes wide and yet still. The calm before the storm.

He's showing yet another sentiment you've never really seen him wear.

"Again." Cyno says.

You blink. "Uh?"

You feel his hand slither behind you and circle your waist, as he pushes your body closer. His skin is running hot like the desert's sands and you curse at his choice, or better lack of clothes.

His silver hair falls like a curtain, his eyes sharp. Dangerous, even, if you're not careful enough.

"Please, do it again. I think I've just seen the gates of Celestia." He mutters close to your lips.

That sounds more like him. You can't help but snort at his choice of words, shuddering all the same. The implications of said words dig a flaming hole in your chest.

"How can you be so smart, but dum dum at the same time?" You whisper, one hand traveling to the back of his neck, the other busying itself with stray locks of hair.

And you dip in for another kiss. One you sigh into, one that can be called kiss, actually. It's slower, but full all the same, scorching hot, pushed by feelings that were repressed for too long.

Cyno locks his free hand at your nape, never possessive, although firm. Small sounds bubble in the back of his throat when you bite at his lower lip, then backs just enough to mutter a couple words.

"Can you really blame me? It feels like a dream coming true." He pecks your lips, then presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. "I was scared you'd chosen him."

"So, all those pretty words from before?" You exhale a breathy laugh, cradling his jaw.

"I'd give away everything I have and am if it meant you'd be happy. I could only wish you the best and support you." Cyno smiles, pouting after the next words leave his mouth. "But it doesn't mean I would be fully content with the outcome."

Your brain has turned to mush. This man is too dangerous for this world, a hazard for you and your poor little heart that feels like exploding. It's a threat to your common sense and rationality. But most of all, it's damaging your brakes.

What he's telling you should not be legal.

"Archons, come here." And you kiss, and kiss, kiss again and again. You map each other's bodies with your hands as if it was the last time you'd be seeing each other. You press your mouths, clatter your teeth, intertwine your tongues.

You're straight up devouring in the dead silence of the night, in a public space. But as indecent the sounds you're both making are, it feels as if the world around blurred and blended into nothingness.

You've found yourself with your back to a wall, somehow, a couple buttons loose, skin hit by the cold air of the night. You -surely more clothed than Cyno- are an absolute mess, whereas his appearance doesn't falter much even at your hands' mercy.

It's unfair, he's unfair. He has no right to be this damn perfect even in the face of chaos.

"Not here, Cy." You manage to utter. "Let's go home."

His hand stops halfway up your shirt and he detaches from your neck with a small grunt, red splotches forming already thanks to his work. He doesn't sound pleased with your choice, but wordlessly complies, knocking you off your feet and picking you up so easily it's unfair.

And embarrassing.

You deadpan. "Seriously?"

He finds your eyes, suddenly composed as if nothing happened. "You seemed quite unstable on your legs, dear."

You're audibly gasping at that, whacking his chest and glaring daggers. "You!"

"Let's continue it home, now."

Cyno is really going to be the death of you, in many ways you'd never even considered.

It's almost dawn when you finally let yourselves snuggle up to each other in the peace of your home. More like his home, since yours needs more than a bit of cleaning after months of disuse, but he's made it clear already: everything that's his is also yours.

Cyno traces patterns on the bare skin of your arm, as you card through the knots on the back of his head, formed after... Recent activity. He seems too lost in your touch to even be awake, when his fingers stop.

"What was the surprise, in the end? Was it the confession?"

Your hands still, your face tightening at the question. When did you even... Oh, right.

"Would you be satisfied if I said yes?"

He pinches you.

"Owie!"

"You should know that what has been of this night matters more than anything, to me. Of course I would be satisfied." Cyno raises a thin brow, as his hand starts to descend agonizingly slow, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake. "Was I not clear enough about my feelings? Perhaps you need a reminder-"

"Whoa, hold your horses, General." You chuckle, planting a kiss on his forehead before leaning over to your bedside table, where your bag had been thrown previously. "There was no way I'd come back empty handed after all these months, yanno?"

You pull out the wrapped box, place it in his hands. Cyno stares at it quizzically, but opens the packaging with care after you nudge him in the side.

Oh, his expression is so, so priceless. Cute, too cute, so cute you could die right now on the spot for excess of sugar in your blood. He looks like a kid who's just received the toy he oh so wanted and ranted about.

"It's not just any deck," You explain. "It's a deck made of cards I've gathered around from different regions. Some were more challenging to get, but I've been playing with you for a long time, haven't I? Of course I'd win."

Meanwhile Cyno takes the liberty to browse its contents, and just like you said, they're not from Sumeru. He's barely ever seen them, some are literally unknown, and he's ecstatic at the sight. How long did it take? How much effort?

"This is…" there's no right term to describe it. "Wonderful. You are wonderful, [Name]."

He goes for a hug and you feel like your bodies fit perfectly in each other's arms, as if it was meant to be. Right now, all that matters is this. And it will always be for all you care.

You smile into his shoulder, smooch the base of his neck. "Is it too early to say 'I love you?'."

"I would actually say we're late, Love."

"I love you, then, you Dum-Dum."

"I love you."

"..."

"You are like my asthma. You just take my breath away."

You make sure Cyno slams his head as you throw him off the bed.

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#Genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #Cyno x reader #cyno #genshin Cyno #genshin impact #gn reader #Genshin drabble #genshin fluff #Genshin Impact smut #cyno smut #Genshin smut #| Genshin Impact 🌓 |#| Nyx Writes 🌑 |

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 4 months

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Screaming from the crypt (or how the past haunts the present on Midnights)

I know it's been discussed so much since Midnights came out but just.

I love how there is such a clear narrative throughout the album (and perhaps especially on the 3am/Vault tracks). About questioning and regret and choices and coming to terms with all of it. It is one long story about how we're all a mosaic of the choices we make, each one taking something from us and leaving something else in its place.

(And now a disclaimer: I'm looking at this mostly through a narrator/subject lens, and trying not to dive too deeply into real-life events or speculation except for in a general sense. For this purpose I like to look at the body of work as art, like literature, because I find it makes it easier to see the common threads in the different songs and cohesion in the narrative.)

In looking at the 3am+ tracks in particular, it's fascinating how some turns of phrases or themes repeat themselves in different songs, in different contexts. (I'm only focusing on the non-standard tracks because there are too many songs and I'd be here all day but I bet I could do a part two lol.) I know many people have pointed out the parallels throughout her discography already and I’m not saying anything groundbreaking by writing this, but I love how these parallels run through in the same album, because it makes it seem like it's one long story, or at least, one long rumination on many different stories that are coalescing into a single narrative.

Battle (let’s go)

For instance, the one that jumped out at me when I started writing this post the other week was, "Tore your banners down, took the battle underground," in The Great War and "If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners, you and I," in Would've, Could've Should've. It's a story about staying stuck in the same cycle of reliving trauma and coping mechanisms and bad habits over and over again and fantasizing about how taking the “antagonist” out and gaining the upper hand for good would bring closure (WCS), but the truth is that nothing ever will. All that cycle does, though, is repeat itself in other situations, and in this case pushes someone away the narrator cares for (TGW). The difference is that the imagined battle in WCS is a two-way street in her mind (that is ultimately unwinnable because it was never a fair fight), but in TGW it's one-sided -- she's the one fighting dirty, taking shots, the way she'd been doing in her imagination (or nightmares) all these years. But the person in front of her isn't fighting back the way the person in her mind in WCS would, because their intentions are honourable instead of exploitative.

And that's paralleled in another pair of lyrics from the two songs, "And maybe it's the past talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did," (in TGW) and "The tomb won't close, I fight with you in my sleep," (in WCS). In both cases, the funeral imagery makes it seem like this past event should be dead and buried in WCS, but it keeps rising from the dead, haunting her no matter what she does and in TGW, another (or perhaps the same?) tomb that won't close keeps unleashing new ways to hurt her and in turn the new person in her life. In other words, the trauma from the past continues to bleed into the present.

(Again from a literary point of view, I'm not saying the events of the two songs are linked IRL, but they're fascinating textual parallels on the album as a string of chapters, which is why Dear Reader is so compelling, but that's a whole other essay.)

To keep the battle motif going, there’s yet another parallel, this time between TGW’s "[You were a] soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth," and You’re Losing Me’s "All I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier, fighting in only your army.” In the former, the subject is laying down his armour in the war she’s projecting onto him, waving the white flag, and she realizes that she’s about to destroy something if she doesn’t put her sword down too. By the time we get to YLM, the roles are almost reversed; at the very least they’re supposed to be on the same team, but in this case she’s doing all the heavy lifting, fighting for their relationship in contrast to his apathy killing it. It’s also pretty interesting (if not outright intentional) that one of the 3am+ editions of the albums starts with The Great War, where they find themselves in conflict (even if it’s in her head) that ends in a truce, and ends with You’re Losing Me signalling the end of the relationship, evidence that the resolution in the first song wasn’t an ending but merely a ceasefire before the last battle.

Putting the rest under a cut because this is waaaaay too long now ⤵️

(There’s also another metaphor there in The Great War with its battle imagery: World War I, aka The Great War, was supposed to be the war to end all wars, because loss on its scale was never seen before and when it ended, most thought never again would the world embroil itself in such battle, the horrors and implications were so devastating. Two decades later, the world found itself in WWII, with an even larger scope and more horrific consequences, the intervening time between the two a period of festering conflicts and resentment leading to some of the worst acts the world would see. Bringing real life into it for a second, there’s something a little poetic, though sad, about The Great War the song being about a fight that could have ended the relationship that they ultimately resolved and was meant to be evidence of the strength of their love, but so too did it end up being a period of détente, the greater battle coming for them years later. But that is not the point of this post.)

If one thing had been different

Another major theme in these editions is pondering the "what ifs?" of life, but I think it takes on even more significance in the broader context of the album in the lyrics of "I'm never gonna meet what could've been, would've been, should've been you," in Bigger than the Whole Sky and the repetition of would've/could've in Would've, Could've, Should've (I would've looked away at the first glance, I would've stayed on my knees, I would've gone along with the righteous, I could've gone on as I was, would've could've should've if I'd only played it safe, etc.) In both songs, the narrator is mourning an alternate course their life could have taken* and questioning what they could have done differently, in the aftermath of trauma and loss, and the regret that comes with that loss, and with the loss of agency in the situation because ultimately it was never in their hands. In an album full of questions, wondering about the path not taken, or the forks in the road that have led to a different version of your life, it's digging deeper into the contrast of choice vs. fate, action vs. reaction, dwelling on the past vs. moving on. When you're supposed to let go of the past, what do you do when it is holding your future hostage?

(*I know there are different interpretations/speculation about BTTWS which I am not getting into on main. I'm just saying that whatever the song is about, it's grieving something that never came to be. The literal origin of the song is less important to the album than the sense of loss it portrays. Whatever the inspiration is, it's crafted to tell part of the story of Midnights of ruminating over how, to borrow from her previous work, if one thing had been different, would everything be different?)

(Also I was today years old when I realized that the words are inverted in the two songs. Apparently I've been hearing BTTWS wrong this whole time.)

There's also an interesting tangent in the role of faith in both songs: in WCS, the events of the story cause her to lose her faith (e.g. "All I used to do was pray," "you're a crisis of my faith,") and question all the things she felt had been unquestionable until that point in her life (e.g. "I could have gone along with the righteous"), whereas in BTTWS, she questions whether that very lack of faith is to blame for the loss in that song ("did some force take you because I didn't pray? [...] It's not meant to be, so I'll say words I don't believe"). It's like pinpointing the moment her life changed and upended her beliefs (WCS), but as a result then leaving her unmoored in times of crisis because ultimately there's no explanation or comfort to be taken from what she used to hold true before that (BTTWS). The words she once relied upon to guide her have long since lost their meaning, but in times of trouble it leaves her wondering if that faith she once held then lost could have prevented this pain.

(Shoutout to WCS for being Catholic guilt personified lol.)

To keep on with the vaguely faith-y notions, an obvious parallel is the line in Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve about, “I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen,” and, "When you aim at the devil, make sure you don't miss," in Dear Reader. All of WCS is about her fighting with an antagonist who haunts her, with whom she wholly regrets ever becoming involved. DR could be seen as a reflection on that fall from grace, warning the audience that if you choose to go after the person (or thing) haunting you, make sure you do so clearheaded enough to be decisive. Again, these “devils” may not be related in real life: the IRL devil in DR could be speaking about her naysayers, or Kim*ye, or Scott & Scooter B, etc., meaning not to cross your enemies until you know you can win. But taking real life out of it and looking at it textually, I am intrigued by the link between WCS and DR, so that’s what I’m going with here. And perhaps that’s even the point in a wider sense; there will be multiple “devils” in your life, or threats to your well-being. If you’re going to commit to taking them down — whether it’s an actual person, or the demons inside you that refuse to let you go — make sure you have the right ammo so that they can no longer hurt you. (Of course, one lesson from these experiences is that sometimes you can’t win, and you have to live with the fallout.)

(Sidebar: I know that “dancing with the devil” is a turn of phrase that means being led into temptation and engaging in risky behaviour, as opposed to describing the actual person. Given the religious metaphors in the song, that could very well be/is the intention, particularly when it’s preceded by, “I would have stayed on my knees” as in she would have continued to follow her faith — in whatever sense that means — had she never met this person, which could also be a more eloquent way of saying she would have continued to be live her life in a way that was righteous (even naive) and seen the world in black and white. Either way, it’s a force she wholly rejects. Like I said, multiple devils, same fight.)

Regret comes up too: in WCS, she says, "I regret you all the time," obviously directed at the person who manipulated her and led to her perceived downfall, citing him as the one impulse she wished she'd never followed, because it won't leave her no matter how hard she’s tried. In High Infidelity, she tells the person to, "put on your records and regret me," and on the surface, it’s like she’s turning the tables, painting herself as the one now causing the regret in someone else, the one inflicting the pain this time. Yet the verse preceding it and the lines following it in the chorus depict a partner who is also emotionally manipulative and vindictive like in WCS (“you said I was freeloading, I didn’t know you were keeping count,” “put on your headphones and burn my city,”). It’s not so much that she’s intentionally harming the person (the way the person in WCS does to her), but rather that the venom in the subject’s feelings towards her seeps through; she’s imagining the way he’s going to feel about her when she leaves, hating her just for by being who she is. (There could be another tangent about how in both songs she’s there to be a “token” in a game for both of the men, who play her for their own purposes.) The regret is dripping with disdain. It’s as though she’s picturing how the person is going to hate her for doing what she’s thinking of doing the way she hates the person who first hurt her.

Sadness, unsurprisingly, shows up in a few lyrics. In BTTWS, “Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness,” sets the scene of a person so overcome with grief that it permeates everything around them; they cannot see their way out of it and feel like the fog will never lift. In Hits Different, it’s, “My sadness is contagious,” the result of a breakup where the person’s grief again touches everything and everyone around them, pushing them further in their despair and loneliness. The reason behind the grief in either case may vary, but regardless of the source, the feeling is overpowering and isolating. They may be different chapters in the story, but the devastation is hauntingly familiar. (As is a recurring theme in Midnights as a whole: there are situations and feelings that present themselves at different points in her journey and colour in the lines in different ways along the road. Like revisiting an old vice and realizing the hit isn’t quite the same as it was in the past.)

Death by a thousand cuts

She also writes about wounds on this album, which isn't surprising I suppose given that the whole conceit is that these are things that have kept her up at night over the years. WCS is perhaps the driving narrative on this never ending hurt when she sings, “The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time,” suggesting that no matter what she does, the pain of this experience has permeated everything she’s done afterwards. (Not unlike the overwhelming grief in BTTWS, for instance.) Elsewhere, in High Infidelity she sings, "Lock broken, slur spoken, wound open, game token," and in Hits Different, "Make it make some sense why the wound is still bleeding.” Again I'm not suggesting they're about the same events; the line in HI is about a situation where a partner crosses a boundary, hits below the belt, picks at an insecurity (or creates a new one) and treats the relationship like it's transactional, opening the floodgates in turn. In HD, the wound seems to be more self-inflicted, where she's pushed the person away. (Over a situation real or imagined she feels she needs distance from.) But again, something has picked at her like a raw nerve, and just like in the past, she's hurting, even in a different time and place and person. Almost like the wounds of the past break open over and over again to create new scars. If one were to extrapolate further, it wouldn’t be the biggest leap to wonder if the wound open in WCS, then torn apart in HI makes the one in HD hurt even more.

(I once wrote a post about how I think as time goes on, WCS is going to turn into one of those songs that will be found to drive so much of her work, because it’s just… kind of the unsaid thesis statement of so much of her songwriting.)

Another repeated theme is that of the empty home and loneliness. In High Infidelity, she sings, "At the house lonely, good money I'd pay if you just know me, seemed like the right thing at the time," painting a picture of someone who may have everything they'd want to the outside world, but in reality feels metaphorically trapped in their home (or at least alone amidst abundance), a symbol of a relationship gone sour and a failure to build connection. She just wants someone to understand her, want her for her, but as she's written earlier in the song, she's just a pawn in the game, a trophy from the hunt. Home, in this case, is lonely, isolated, an emblem of her fears. In Dear Reader, she continues this thread, then singing, "You wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking, if you knew where I was walking, to a house not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there, where I pace in my pen and my friends found friends who care, no one sees you lose when you're playing solitaire." It's the same idea, admitting to listeners that the gilded cage she lived in kept her distanced from her loved ones and real connection, keeping her struggles close to the vest but feeling desperately lonely amidst her crowning success. She's pushed people away and it may have felt like the right thing at the time, but in the end maybe felt like she was trapped. And when you push people away, eventually they take you at your word and stop pushing back; you’re a victim of your own success at isolating yourself. What starts out of self-preservation then further perpetuates the underlying problems.

(There's another interesting link about "home" also feeling unsafe with HI's "Your picket fence is sharp as knives," which further leads into the theme of marriage/domesticity feeling dangerous, which is a whole other thing I won't get into here because it's another discussion and may derail this already gargantuan word salad.)

In a slightly similar vein, we have the metaphor of bad weather for a rocky road or unstable relationship, in High Infidelity again with, "Storm coming, good husband, bad omen, dragged my feet right down the aisle" and You’re Losing Me’s "every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes.” They aren’t speaking of the same situation or even same kind of breakdown, but it is pretty interesting how the idea of clouds/storms/floods/etc. play such a role in Taylor’s music to signal depression, apprehension, fear, uncertainty, etc. In HI, I think the “storm” coming is the looming threat of commitment to a partner who makes the narrator uneasy (if not fearful). In this case, the idea of making a life with this person is not one that incites joy or comfort, but instead makes the narrator feel that dark times are ahead if she continues down this path. Perhaps in some way, the “storms” in YLM have made good on the threat in HI in a different way; it’s a different home, a different relationship, but the clouds have settled in regardless, and some of her fears have come to fruition in ways she did not expect. The person she once trusted no longer sees her or her struggles (or worse, doesn’t care), and the resentment and pain build with each passing day.

Coming back to heartbreak, one of the obvious "full circle" moments is the beginning of a relationship in Paris, where she says that, "I'm so in love that I might stop breathing," clearly enthralled in a new love that allows her to shut the world out and grow in private, capturing the all-encompassing nature of the relationship. This infatuation has consumed her in the most wonderful way (in contrast to the sorrow of some of the previous songs), and it feels like a life-altering (or even life-sustaining?) force that is so strong she may forget what it’s like to breathe. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.) By the end of the album, though, in You're Losing Me, that heart-stopping love has become a threat: "my heart won't start anymore for you." In the former, her racing heart is full of excitement, but by the latter, her heart has given out completely under the weight of the pain she bears. (YLM is full of death/illness imagery which I already wrote about awhile ago so I won't hear, but needless to say that song deserves its own essay for so many reasons.) She's gone from the unbridled joy of the beginnings of a relationship to the unrelenting sorrow of its end, two sides of the same coin.

Love as death appears elsewhere in the music too, for instance, in High Infidelity’s, “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough" and You’re Losing Me’s “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying? […] My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick.” Though not completely analogous situations, they both tell the tale of one partner’s apathy (or at least denial) destroying the other. In the former, the partner’s actions (or inaction) are more insidious, if not sinister; in the latter, the lack of momentum (or admission of a problem) is passive. In both cases, the end result is the narrator’s demise; it’s a drawn out affair that chips away at her morale and her health and her sense of self. (Breaking my own rule about bringing in alleged actual events into the discussion, but the idea that the relationship in High Infidelity, which was obviously fraught with unease and even fear, ended in a similarly excruciatingly slow and hurtful death by a thousand cuts as the relationship in You’re Losing Me almost did at that time must have been so painful. It almost feels like YLM is wondering why what used to be a source of light in her life was mirroring a situation that caused her such pain in the past.)

From the same little breaks in your soul

I said early on that part of what is so compelling about Midnights is that it feels like an album about ruminating — on choices, on events, on people — and the two final “bonus” tracks of the album depict that as well. In Hits Different, she sings that, “they say if it’s right, you know,” an ode to the confusion of a breakup and struggling with the aftermath of calling it quits. It’s a line that has always intrigued me, because the typical use of the phrase is in the sense of, “you’ll know when you meet the one,” but here it seems to have a double meaning, a reassurance perhaps from the friends (who later on tell her that "love is a lie") that she’ll know if she’s made the right decision in calling it off, but could also be her wondering if the relationship is right, she’ll know, and want to reconcile. In the final bonus track, You’re Losing Me, she sings, “now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time,” this time leaving no doubt about the dilemma she faces, though it’s no less fraught. She’s wondering, perhaps for the last time, if now is finally the moment to end the relationship for good. They say that if it’s right she’ll know, and now she’s wondering if that feeling inside her (that once told her her partner was the one, which is why it hit differently), is telling her that it’s time to go for good. Wait Alexa play “It’s Time To Go.” These are not only the things that keep her up at night, but the things that play over in her mind like a film reel in her waking hours.

Midnights as a whole is a deeply personal album, as is most of Taylor's work, but the 3am+ edition tracks seem to dig even deeper to a lot of the issues raised on the standard album. Almost like the standard tracks are the things she wonders about on sleepless nights, but the bonus tracks are the things that haunt her in the aftermath. The regret, anger, sadness, grief, relief, even joy— they’re the price she pays for the memories she keeps reliving. Midnights might be the most cohesive narrative of all her albums, and really does feel like we’re watching someone work through her journal over time, stopping short of outright naming those giant fears and intrusive thoughts (except for when she does) but making them plain as day when you connect the songs together, and perhaps never more clearly than in the expanded album. It’s incredible how the songs stand on their own to relay a specific moment in time, but that they are also self-referential to each other (whether thematically or overtly) to weave a larger web over the entire work. We’re so lucky as fans to have these stories and to keep peeling back these layers as time passes. (And my literature-analysis-loving ass loves her even more for it.)

This is obviously by no means an exhaustive list, and I know there are more parallels and probably even stronger links (particularly when you add the standard version into the mix), but these were the ones that particularly struck me and I’m just glad I’ve had a chance to sit with this and think it through. ❤️

#writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about taylor lyrics #taylor swift #midnights #long post #lyrics analysis #song parallels #Gabby this one is for you friend <3 #here goes nothing #Happy Friday or something idk!#(also i know i said there are things i wouldn’t discuss on main but my dms are open lol)#this is not as structured or well plotted out as I wanted it to be #and turned out to be more stream of consciousness than legit essay #but whatever at least i got my thoughts out there and it can release some plot of land in my brain for other stuff to think over lol #If anyone ever reads this thank you! And I’m sorry?#The best compliment i ever got in school #was when we were doing an analysis of a poem in English lit in college #And i brought something up casually #and my prof went ‘I’ve been teaching this class for eight years and that’s the first time anyone’s ever brought it up like that’#’and that just blew my mind’#and i was like ‘who me?’#so that’s all you need to know about me lol #Midnights: The Great War #Bigger than the whole sky #bttws #Midnights: Paris #Midnights: high infidelity #would’ve could’ve should’ve #Midnights: dear reader #midnights: bigger than the whole sky

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cosmic-kaden · 1 month

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Something to me; 💜🧡

Ship: Phillip x Kaden

Words: 1,768

cw: Mentions of parental abandonment and just general shitty parental behavior doesn't go into heavy detail.(Its my reality hhh so this is scary for me to post) One little suggestive joke but nothing detailed or anything just a quick way to make Kaden smile dlfjds

Summary: A jokester is really good at being heartfelt and sweet.

If you're not a self shipper please dni, nothing against ya. I have anxiety lol || self shippers are encouraged and welcome 2RB <3

The breeze was warm but cooled in the night air, crickets chirped their little tunes and fireflies lit up the backyard. The only other sounds were soft sniffles every once in a while. to anyone else this was the perfect night, it was warm, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and stars twinkled high above but to Kaden this night felt incredibly heavy.

"psst.."

"psst!"

"Kaden!"

Kaden jumped a little, quickly bringing their hands up to wipe their tears as they looked behind them to the best of their ability, They were sitting in the backyard at the patio table. "What are you doing awake?" Kaden asked as Phillip approached them.

"Seeing why the grass out back was sniffling, obviously" He teased with a grin. "Why're you crying out back at 3AM?" He asked, the teasing tone replaced with a more serious concerned tone.

"I wasn't crying." Kaden sighed as Phillip took a seat next to them and without warning he reached over, siping his thumb across Kaden's cheek only to find it damp.

"Uh-huh. Clearly." Phillip chuckled softly which caused Kaden to smile in response. "So what were you not crying about?" He asked once more, leaning back in his chair.

"Not so sure I'm ready to talk about it right now" Kaden sighed.

Usually when it came to someone being emotional Phillip always seemed to freeze up or get confused about whether he should press the person or just go away and leave them alone. The only one he was ever really able to talk to was his sister Wendy but oddly enough it was also incredibly easy to talk to Kaden too.

"If I leave you be are you going to cry again?" Phillip raised a brow and Kaden sighed heavily, there were already more tears.

"N-No" They tried to say confidently but it came out weak and a bit broken as their voice cracked.

"Okaaaaay" Phillip sighed softly as he shifted his chair closer to Kaden. "Just say whatever is on your mind. I won't judge."

"I lied to your sister--" Kaden swallowed thickly.

"How so? uh oh, you're actually a serial killer and I'm the first to go." Phillip grinned and earned a small chuckle from Kaden which only made Phillip smile.

"No, you're safe." Kaden shook their head to which Phillip placed his hand over his chest and breathed out a little 'oh thank god'

"I said I had family here but we weren't really on speaking terms-" Kaden shifted a little in their chair.

"annnnnd you don't have family here?" He asked, leaning forward in his chair a little.

"I do but….they aren't family…I mean they are but.." Kaden inhaled deeply as they tried to think of how to word it. "I was never their family." Kaden glanced up at Phillip. "I don't want to unload all this on you…"

"No no I want you too" Phillip reached out, placing his hand on the back of Kaden's chair. "unload all over me"

Kaden raised a brow and Philip flashed them a grin to which Kaden laughed and rolled their eyes. "Gross."

"Just tell me. I bet you'll feel better" Phillip hummed softly. If there was one thing that Phillip knew how to do it was making people feel better when they weren't feeling the greatest, Kaden noticed he was like them in that sense. He could easily be a goof just like them.

"Fine, you bug" Kaden teased and Phillip smiled. "I guess I'll start by saying I wasn't brought into this world with the intent of being cared for and raised. My dad's ex found out he was with my mom and she went off on him and her, basically told my mom that my dad was sterile and his words were "wanna bet" and nine months later here I was, a few years after that he left." Kaden sighed heavily.

Phillip was now grasping the weight of the situation, he was still holding the chair that Kaden was sitting on, his thumb brushed against their back when they spoke and he shook his head. "If you're too uncomfortable to continue it's okay."

"No… it's okay…I might feel better." Kaden echoed his previous words. "I always had other people taking care of me and by taking care of me I mean leaving me to my own devices while they either got high off their asses or drunk. Amongst other terrible things-" Kaden rolled their eyes. "Mom was never around and treated me more like a paycheck than anything which was evident when I became a teenager. I stopped going to school because I had a huge bully issue to the point where I was literally afraid to go to school, my bully was very violent"

Kaden felt Phillip gently place his entire hand on their back and he hesitantly rubbed their back, he knew if they felt uncomfortable with him doing it he'd stop but he was happy that Kaden didn't even mention it, Kaden felt very comforted in that moment.

"Long story short my mom stopped getting government checks for me, once she realized she wasn't getting any money she booted me out on my ass. I was 16- I've been struggling to find my place ever since. One bad relationship after another. I tried giving my mother multiple chances and failed.." Kaden's throat went dry.

"Then I get invited here by your sister and while you guys all seem to be at each other's throats half the time I can tell that you all care about each other very much, despite your differences you're still a family and you spoke about your childhoods and what you all did and it was nothing like what I experienced and I don't know I feel…robbed and cheated. Why am I here? To win a bet?" Kaden's eyes glassed over before tears rolled down their cheeks. "I feel like I was an error, put into a world that I wasn't supposed to be in. I'm nothing and I am no one, I have no place and I don't fit in. Being here just reiterated it for me"

"Hey…hey hey" Phillip got off his chair and knelt down in front of Kaden, he was quick to take their hands into his, and he looked at them, his expression softening as he wiped away their tears. "That was a lot of heavy things you just said and I'm not always the best at words but Kaden, you are something, you're not a no one, I see how you've interacted with me and my family and you leave an impression on them that most people don't and no doubt anyone you've ever met…Everyone you've ever spoken to, I'm sure they know who you are in some way. Might not be well it might just be that person with the dark blue hair but..in some way, people remember you" Phillip gently squeezed Kaden's hand, reminding them he was there for them.

Kaden lifted their head to look at him and Phillip cupped their face as he wiped their tears away. Their eyes flicked up to meet his.

"You've at the very least made quite the impression on me." Phillip dropped his arms to rest his hands on Kaden's knees, he remained squatted down in front of them. "You're something to me." He gave a little shrug. "Call me an idiot for feeling like this but ever since you showed up I haven't had a moment of peace up here" he pointed to his head. "You're infectious." He said with a small smile. "My family thinks I'm a royal fuck up, while I can't relate to you completely and what you went through, I do understand the feeling of standing on the outside looking in on something you wish you had"

Kaden almost didn't know what to say, they were shocked. They didn't think Phillip was like this, for someone who doesn't always know what to say he really does talk from the heart and it was damn near perfect what he said, they felt a wave of relief wash over them and they felt a comfort they had never really felt before. "If it's any consolation…I don't think you're a royal fuck up.." Kaden gave him a soft smile.

Phillip stood to his feet, grabbing Kaden's hands, yanking them to their feet, Kaden nearly stumbled forward but was caught by Phillip who enveloped them into a tight hug. Kaden couldn't speak, their eyes went wide as they felt themselves pressed against his chest, their arms trapped between his body and their own as his arms wrapped around them.

"And you my dear are something, you're something and someone and you fit perfectly. Right here." Phillip rocked with them slightly to get his point across, Kaden felt a flush cross their cheeks as they looked up at him with a confused expression on their face.

Phillip looked down at them and grinned "You heard me" He chuckled, leaning his head down to kiss their forehead. "Not saying slap a label on it or anything but I would really like to spend more of my time with you." Phillip hummed as he pulled away enough to look at Kaden.

Kaden smiled sweetly, their heart felt like it was pounding out of their chest. "I'd really like that."

"Ohohohooo my sister is going to haaaaate me~" Phillip nearly giggled and Kaden laughed softly. Phillip dipped his head down a little to better look at Kaden, his arms slipping to their upper arms. "You feeling better?"

"Yes." Kaden nodded.

"You sure? I'm not going to hear the grass crying in an hour from now?" He grinned.

"I'm okay, promise." Kaden giggled.

"Good~ I'm gonna go to bed now then, you try and get some sleep too okay?"

"I'll try my best~"

Phillip pulled Kaden forward slightly only to dip his head down and kiss Kaden's cheek with a "MUUAH" sound. "Goodnight sweetie, see you in the morning" He grinned and let them go.

"It…It is morning though?" Kaden flushed darkly and laughed.

"Oh shit.." Phillip said, looking at the sky that was slowly getting brighter. "Okay then" Phillip grabbed Kaden's hand, gently tugging them along back into the house. "We'll have a quick nap and then I'll make coffee…lots and lots of coffee.."

It would turn out that Kaden and Phillip didn't actually wake up until his sister found both of them snuggled up on the couch sleeping in the living room. Nothing says good afternoon like a blood curdling "Nooooooo!!"

Tagging: @ama-ships || @heatobrienswife || @kylars-princess || @lysandreslittlechatot || @dragonsmooch

SCARY SCARY VERY SCARY! I'm not used to being open about my past so this is SCAAARRYYYYYY

#Chaotic Twinflame #Phillip 💞#my writing;#I reiterate SCARY SCARY VERY SCARED TO UPLOAD THIS #long post #I'VE HOVERED OVER THE POST BUTTON FOR LIKE FIVE MINS KADEN YOU FUCK JUST PRESS IT!!! T_T

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kafkasmjjw · 2 months

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hi !! Im new to the sfh fandom and I’ve read one or two of your works and you characterise mjjw so well !!! (and ur writing style is so amazing like damn??) but I think half because of my subtitles being crap half because of how complex these characters are I’m kinda struggling to characterise them well in a way that feels canon compliant while attempting to write fics if u gm? Do you have any tips for writing moonjo, jongwoo, or mjjw? Like how they think or speak or just general things like habits etc. /nfnf but itd be really appreciated <3

hello<3 so sorry for the late response im barely on here. first of, thank you sm and welcome to the fandom<3

i actually watched the show quite a few times before i started writing for them (understatement.. ive seen the show an embarrassing amount of times lol). i think the biggest difference between moonjo and jongwoo is that moonjo is relatively quiet and has calm mannerisms (slow smiles, picking his tongue, gazing lovingly, listening without talking) while jongwoo is a much more agitated guy (pursed lips, glancing away, fidgets, shifts his weight, huffs, parts his lips like he wants to sigh but catches himself last second) and that has a lot to do with moonjo being more integrated into his surroundings and more respected by the people he mingles with while jongwoo is mostly looked down at and patronised which makes him more on edge and spiteful. in terms of speaking, moonjo is just generally much more refined; could be due to his profession or his upbringing. while jongwoo is angry asf which makes him more vulgar and wayyy less restrained. moonjo's more put together, he thinks before he speaks while jongwoo is messier(?), so maybe he hesitates maybe his anger and frustration bleed into his sentences and make him stammer a bit. also like, it depends on whether youre writing canon fics or post canon because maybe (just an opinion) jongwoo would be more unfiltered post canon and says everything thats on his mind while canon jongwoo stays quiet and thinkw it/fantasises about saying it. thats all just my perception of them btw. i just like the idea of jongwoo being better at writing than speaking.

for them together, i think some back and forth is in character? moonjo's patience — because he never struck me as someone who forces jongwoo's hand or pressures him into anything — and jongwoo's inner turmoil that makes him fierce and mean. because canonically, jongwoo did tend to victimise himself a lot; it only makes sense that he'd blame his own feelings on everyone but himself. so yk if youre writing a lot of monologue and introspection you can have jongwoo's unreliability sneak in and have him blame his feelings and circumstances on other people while moonjo either supports him or smugly counters him. i think both options are viable hes a menace.

i dont know if any of this makes sense its 3am and idk how to put my thoughts into words😭😭 but good luck with writing and as long as you have fun and are content with what you write it doesnt really matter:))

#ask #fic

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 1 month

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tig characters/couples as ts songs - sparks fly and averyjameson

literally every single lyric fits them, but i'm obviously not going to do all of them so here are the ones i love the most. also i really need to start rereading the books cause i sort of forgot some important details about them, and so some of this might not be accurate (i apologize for that but i find these really fun to make). this might also get repetitive cause i love them so much and can't stop talking about them @reminiscentreader made a comment about this under one of my posts which inspired this. this song has been my #1 aj song forever, but seeing her comment made me want to make this post even more. i apologize for any spelling mistakes (or if anything doesn't make sense or if its repetitive), this was made at 3am, and i don't feel like going over it.

"you're the kind of reckless that should send me running but i kinda know that i won't get far"

although avery knows that jameson will probably end up hurting her because of how careless and reckless he is, she still can't help but be drawn to him. she convinces herself (in the first book) that its because of the mystery they have to solve, but i think subconsciously she knows that she loves being around him and that's why she can't seem to stay away. she waits for him when it comes to looking for more clues, and goes looking for him when she finds something. no matter what, she always goes back to him.

"drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain, cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile"

there are many layers to this. this one is also a little less accurate than the other, but the idea remains the same. in the first book, jameson takes the pain away after avery got shot at by kissing her, but he also ends up hurting her by telling her she doesn't really mean anything to him. throughout the book, we see him hurt her unintentionally over and over again. the reason why she's scared of getting together with jameson at first is because of the pain he causes her. she wants him to drop all the bullshit, and say that he wants to be with her and love her. to kiss her on sidewalks and dance with her in the pouring rain instead of hurting her and pretending she means nothing to him. while she's scared of getting together with him and denies her feelings for him, she also can't help but be attracted him. her heart lights up whenever she sees him (a feeling she doesn't get around grayson in my opinion). although we don't have jamie's pov, i also think he feels somewhat the same (not the being hurt by her part though). he's always seeking her out and talking to her. we also know that he's hurting cause of emily, and i think being around avery lessens that pain.

"get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down, give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around"

jameson, throughout the first and second book, gives her just enough for her to feel something for him and to forget the pain he causes her. although she knows getting together with him might hurt her, these little moments haunt her at night. she can't help but the think of the what-ifs, and overtime, starts finding it harder to convince herself why she shouldn't be with him. she doesn't want to feel this way, but she can't stop thinking about him, and it's messing with her head. (jameson also has green eyes). this also sort of applies from jamie's perspective. avery will do things that make him realize how amazing she truly is, and that he underestimated her and his attraction to her. these little things stay with him at night, and slowly he started to fall for her.

"my mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea, you touch me once and it's really something, you find i'm even better than you imagined i would be"

this kind of goes with what i've already said so far, but avery knows he's a bad idea. she isn't stupid, and she's very protective of her heart. she doesn't like to get hurt, but being around jamie makes her forget all of these thoughts and makes her ignore these warnings her mind gives her. jamie kissing her and touching her cheek always manages to make all reason leave her and wonder why giving in would be such a bad idea. overtime, jameson realizes that avery isn't just a game to him, and she's so much more (so much better). the more he gets to know her, the more he realizes how smart and talented she is, and he can't help but fall in love with her.

"i'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but, for you, i know its no good"

no one knows them as well as they know each other. they both know how their minds work individually and together. they know about their feelings and insecurities, and they only really open up to each other. i mean, they literally have a codeword for being honest with each other. avery has never liked being vulnerable and thinks with her head and not her heart, and jamie is always acting as if nothing is wrong when in reality he's hurting. these are their shields that protect them from the rest of world. they only allow themselves to break down in front of one another (and their siblings but anyways). i also made another post about how i think the codeword was created as a result of past communication and trust issues. they know how much keeping secrets hurts each other. they know it's no good.

"just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right"

this is also really similar to other lyrics i've talked about, but avery forgets all reason when she's around jamie. he manages to sneak his way into her heart and make her feel things she's never felt before. him looking at her or brushing his fingers against her cheek make her feel so attracted to him that she starts to wonder, for a second, if he's really as bad as her mind makes him out to be.

i hope this is good. i haven't read the books in over a year, and so i've forgotten some details. some of this might not be accurate, and i wished i had more examples. i might make an updated post after i reread the main trilogy.

#jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #averyjameson #the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne

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ditch-lily · 1 year

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to all my kimchay and jeff and barcode people

it's 3am and i gotta sleep but i just gotta get some stuff out!! this is a ramble, and a bit personal here and there so i may delete it in the morning. but i'm so happy and so excited for jeff, and sos. this move has really been building up for a while, and you can see it in all the things he's been creating. and it looks like wuju bakery is still a go, and that saturn will work closely with boc, for a least a little bit.

but the way that was announced. i really don't think jeff would have done it that way if he knew how hard it was going to hit. i'm so devastated for barcode, and when they realised that he wasn't going to stop breaking down they should have taken him off the stage

i am kind of devastated just seeing him break down again and again on stage. my heart hurts a lot.

my emotions are really really high right now, not just b/c of all that. but because i just flew overseas for jeff, and just booked another. i feel kinda crazy lmao. wow parasocialing too close to the sun!!

but i do wanna say, things will go on. jeff and barcode will still get to create together, and barcode baby. i'm so sorry it hurt so much, but you have an amazing future ahead of you, and i'm so excited to follow that journey. i fell into the kimchay and jeff crowd over here when i started writing idolistic (which I will continue writing, and i hope you all still feel like reading it lmao) and it's been so nice slowly getting to know people here.

and i just wanna say thank you! thank you for making me feel welcomed. i've had a real tough time of it in my rl the last few months, and this place has been important to me. you all leave such lovely comments on my fic, interact with my posts here, it always makes my freaking day, i've even got to make new friends in person!!! that's insane, but so treasured. ilu all, and if you're upset and hurting -- its been so tough lately. i get it, i share it. but the journey's not over. we still get to grasp joy in the future, yknow?

lmao idk if that makes sense im going to bed now. but yeah, love u all

#personal #kimchay #jeffbarcode #this is okay to reblog #i think lmao #will my morning self wake up and see this and feel highly embarrassed???#100% yes

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mrs-gauche · 1 year

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The “Flip it” Theory

(I’m sorry, it’s like 3am and I couldn’t come up with a better title. lol)

So.. Here’s another fun little DA tinfoil hat theory that you might have already heard about, but I don’t think I’ve seen it discussed on here before? It also probably sounds super unhinged, but at this point, can we even get any more unhinged in terms of theories? lol So, we might as well just embrace it. It’s just one of those theories that simply won’t leave my mind (especially when trying to sleep at 3am lol), so writing it down will hopefully put it to rest. 😁

Okay, so we all know that, in the Fade, the laws of gravity or physics in general don’t really apply and are all over the place, right? There’s no real sense of time or space, no real “up” or “down” as the Fade does not follow any rules of the waking world and is somewhat shaped by whatever the person dreaming expects reality to look like or quote, “is reflected by the mind of the living”.

So when we see the Inquisitor fall into Fade in “Here Lies the Abyss”, it’s even emphasized by how the camera movement in-game and the environment in the Fade has to “adjust” according to how the Inquisitor expects gravity to work, or rather, what the world’s supposed to look like to us, meaning the sky has to be up and the ground has to be down. lol

Additionally in Trespasser, we see that, not only is the Vir Dirthara scattered all over the place, but in parts also completely flipped upside down.

(I’m so sorry btw, I just now realized that looking at these gifs for too long can make you feel super dizzy. lol)

The reason I’m pointing this out, is because it keeps reminding me, for one, of this mural.

Of course, since this mural was first shown in the teaser trailer in 2020 and has been thoroughly analyzed by the fandom, it seems pretty clear by now that, with the way this mural is composed, particularly with the two upside down figures, BioWare intentionally encourages us to look at this image upside down. What’s even more intriguing to me, seeing as the Dread Wolf appears to break into the Black City here, “releasing” the raw magic of the Fade with its non existent rules of reality to the waking world and in doing so, figuratively and in some respects quite literally “turning the world upside down”.

Though while most people seem to focus on the two figures here (that are most definitely the two remaining Evanuris still sleeping/imprisoned or something like that, but that’s not the topic of this post lol), you might have heard of this other crazy theory suggesting that, when looking at this mural upside down, the shape of the Dread Wolf appears to roughly resemble that of a mountain.

(I warned you this leans VERY heavy on the tinfoil hat, but please don’t leave yet lol) Okay so, as far as I understand it, the theory suggests a potential connection to a particular mountain mentioned in the lore, called Belenas.

In a legend of the Avvar, it is said that Korth the Mountain-Father kept his throne at the peak of the mountain Belenas, which “lay at the center of the world”. The tale goes as follows:

Korth took his heart out of his chest and hid it within the Frostback Mountains to avoid being weakened by love. When his lack of heart turned him bitter and cruel, the Lady of the Skies sent her children to retrieve it. Though after all her children had failed to do so, the ptarmigan volunteered for the search. The Lady refused to give the tiny bird her blessing, as she thought the mountains was too fierce, but the ptarmigan succeeded where everyone else had failed. It found and freed the heart, allowing it to jump back into Korth's chest, where Hakkon Wintersbreath bound it once again. For her great deed, the ptarmigan was honored by the gods.

When Korth grew tired of heroes barging into his hall to claim the honors they thought they were due for climbing the mountain of the gods, he spoke to the Lady of the Skies, who then lifted Belenas from the earth into her realm, so no one could reach it anymore.

Legend says that Belenas was eventually destroyed during a battle between Korth and the serpent Nathramar, leaving only a vast crater behind that the Lady of the Skies “filled with her tears” and formed what we now know as Lake Calenhad.

Okay, so there’s a lot to dissect here, so I try to make it as brief as possible, but in short, people have noticed a number of intriguing parallels to different pieces of elven lore and theories in this tale, or what could be interpreted as such.

So I’m going to try and take this on one by one. Let’s start with this:

- Korth’s throne sits at the peak of mountain Belenas, at “the center of the world”.

- When looking at the mural from the teaser upside down again, it places the Black City (or the “Maker’s throne”, if you will) at the “peak” of the Dread Wolf shaped “mountain”. It is also known that the Black City sits at “the center of the Fade”, where no one is able to reach it.

- Korth takes his heart out of his chest and hides it within the Frostback Mountains. When his lack of heart turns him bitter and cruel, the Lady of the Skies sends her children to retrieve it.

- If we put in “Titan” for Korth and “Mythal” for the Lady of the Skies, this part is kinda reminiscent of what we know (or suspect) of Mythal, her conquering of the Titans (which would be the Frostback mountains in this comparison) and the theory of the ancient elves killing the Titans and obtaining their hearts, enabling them to create the foci/orbs/vessels of dreams that gives them god like powers. So Mythal sends out her “children”/army in the attempt to conquer the Titan and obtain its heart.

- After all the Lady’s children fail, the ptarmigan volunteers for the search. She refuses to give the tiny bird her blessing, as she thinks the mountains are too fierce, but the ptarmigan succeeds and retrieves the heart.

- Now, this part might be a bit of a reach, but when taking this even further and comparing this whole story to Mythal’s war against the Titans, looking at this tiny little nondescript bird defying the odds and ultimately leading the Lady of the Skies to “victory”, am I the only one who’s a little reminded of Greek mythology here (which, as I’ve mentioned numerous times before now, seems to be at least partially BioWare’s inspiration for the ancient elves), and how in Greek mythology, the Olympians’ victory over the (literal) Titans was the result of a cunning trick devised by Prometheus, who deserted from the Titans’ army beforehand.

And I know I’m certainly not the only one to have noticed a lot of odd similarities between the role of good old Prometheus in mythology and our very divisive Mr wanna-be-Wisdom Pride, aka Solas.

- For her great deed in retrieving Korth’s heart, the ptarmigan is honored by the gods.

- So while we’re at it, why not just compare the little bird to Solas then and assume that, for helping Mythal in her victory over the Titans and obtaining its heart, Solas is somehow honored and elevated to the status of godhood or at least into some sort of exclusive circle of those who the Evanuris trusted the most. (And even rewarded with his own orb, maybe? Might this be what we’re seeing in the mural depicting a Titan’s death?)

- When Korth grows tired of heroes barging into his hall to claim the honors of the gods, the Lady of the Skies lifts Belenas from the earth into her realm, so no one can reach it anymore.

- Now it gets a bit tricky.. If we take this part of the tale as Mythal “lifting” the now dead Titan into her own realm, meaning the sky, maybe it’s nothing more than a metaphor for Mythal mining the Titans’ blood and using the lyrium for her own empire (the creation of bodies for spirits?). Or maybe she literally lifted part of a dead Titan’s body into the sky and used it as a “cornerstone” to build the empire’s capital city Arlathan on top of it.

Which, again, would actually explain why the Black City *cough* Arlathan *cough* is depicted on top of the “mountain” in the 2020 upside down mural. Especially when adding that last part “so no one can reach it”, you know, just like the Black City can’t be reached within the Fade.

- Belenas was eventually destroyed during a battle between Korth and the serpent Nathramar, leaving only a vast crater behind that the Lady of the Skies “filled with her tears” and formed what we now know as Lake Calenhad.

- Again, this part could be interpreted in many different ways. I’ve seen theories spanning from Solas creating the Veil causing the magical floating Arlathan to fall from the sky and destroying the mountain in the process, to the Lady’s “tears” actually being Mythal’s (Great dragon) blood that somehow dripped in the lake when she was murdered, which is why centuries later, the actual Calenhad Theirin would gain special powers when he made a bargain with an old witch (Flemeth?) and drank from said lake.

So yeah, as you can see, there’s a lot to take from all this as far as unhinged tinfoil theories and strange parallels go. lol

And with all of this in mind, I’d like to look at the Black City in the 2020 teaser mural again, as you also might have notice that, in addition to the whole mountain shaped Dread Wolf, when turned upside down, the Black City appears to keep the silhouette of a city, no matter how you look at it?

In fact, a lot of depictions we’ve seen of the Black City share this rather oddly shaped silhouette.

There’s also this stained glass, depicting the city upside down and in both gold and black.

I actually don’t know what to take from all this. It’s just something I’ve noticed while gathering images. lol

But while we’re at it and flipping everything on its head now.. lol While I was looking at all the Trespasser murals again, I also noticed that, when flipped upside down, two of the murals actually form a full circle when put together.

And ohh, would you look at that, there’s the “mountain” (Titan) at the bottom again with the Black City “on top” of it, just like the mural in the 2020 teaser when flipped upside down?? 😂 (Also interesting parallel to note with Solas holding the orb(?) on both the left side of each mural.)

Now, I know I sound super unhinged and I actually don’t think this is supposed to mean anything and it’s probably just a crazy coincidence (..right??), but.... what IF we just go full on tinfoil here now and assume that it IS actually supposed to be looked at this way......

In all the murals we’ve seen thus far, the circle was always assumed to represent the Veil, right? So when looking at it this way, it would put the Titan inside the Fade within the Veil beneath the Black City, right?

So.. Here’s my crazy idea...

Even though we know the Fade is an ever-changing place not bound to any rules of reality or a set geography.. What if the rocky landscapes we see in the “raw Fade” are actually all part of a sleeping/dead Titan(s)?

And while we are looking at these rocks again, am I the only one reminded of the structures seen in the deepest level of the The Descent dlc, a gargantuan cavern located in the so called “Wellspring” within a Titan, which is grouped at the expedition table as a location within “the Uncharted Abyss”.

“The Abyss”, also called the Void in different cultures, myths and historical texts in DA lore, is said to be a place whose location is undefined, but believed to be somewhere within the Fade, “empty places between dreams” (or, according to Solas, the place where spirits are reborn).

So if we go back to the Wellspring again, where we’re looking at what appears to be a literal abyss, a vast sea of clouds.. What we expected to be the deepest and darkest place in the world is revealed to be a bright, seemingly endless “sky” beneath the earth, or rather a Titan.

And with all this in mind, it’s even more intriguing now to go back to the beginning of this post, where we established that, in the Fade, the sky is not set to be “above” or “beneath”. It all depends on the expectation or perspective of the beholder.

(And btw, funnily enough, I actually encountered a bug once at the Wellspring that made it look like the sky was actually “falling down” on me. lol)

And lastly, in relation to all of this, I also want to point out this little quote, said by Flemeth in DA2:

“The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss.”

While we all know our favorite old witch likes to be overly ambiguous and cryptic in her phrasing, maybe we should take this quote more literal than we previously thought? lol Maybe, with the Veil collapsing some way or another and the angry tainted Titans awakened, the world might literally lose its so called “Pillars of the Earth”, plummeting into the endless void we’ve seen in The Descent.....

Well, shit.

Anyway, I’m afraid that’s all I had to say lol, and if you actually made it this far, thank you so much for engaging in this insanity. 😁 (And sorry if this turned out to be a total waste of your time. 😂)

Though I do have to mention, what actually prompted me to write this post in the first place, was seeing how some people are expecting Solas to be at the White Spire now after reading the synopsis of the upcoming comic series “The Missing” (if you want to know why, skip to the end of this post lol). The White Spire being an Antivan mountain with a very particular shape (at least according to this illustrated map of Thedas that came with every copy of Tevinter Nights).

(I can see where this thing got its name from. lol It almost reminds me of a volcano? 😂)

Which just so happens to ALSO kinda resemble the shape of the “upside down mountain” shaped Dread Wolf from the 2020 mural....

So.. take from this information whatever you like, because I don’t know anything anymore... My head hurts from all this spinning. I’m out. 🥴

#tinfoil time #trespasser #solas #mythal #da4 #dragon age 4 #this is probably the most tinfoil I'll ever get lol #but this one is so much fun to think about for some reason 😂#anyway good night lol

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dyedfrog · 1 year

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the ULTIMATE OMORI fanfic recs because one of my favs just ended and it deserves more recognition!!

Okay lets start this off with the one in question (also not in any particular order)

These Days Without You by Smitty1899. absolutely beautiful, please read it this fanfic needs more of a community around it

By Your Side Once More, or, How Sunny Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Occult by Keltikknight. the suzuki siblings and their immaculate sense of humour. thats all i have to say

A New Dawn In Sunless Skies by letos. i wish this one would update again its got such a cool premise.

Sinking and Heroism by TenPes. linking them together because they're not part of a series.

The Faraway Event by kinemortomoli. me putting this here is actually a cry for help. i dont think this fanfic is dead but i cant suffer alone

Tired by Sunburner. this is pretty short and sweet (more like sad, depending on your ending preference)

DEADSPACE by Es_Novels. this one is so eerie as many zombie fanfics are, but i think the imagery makes this one take the cake

Car Trouble by Smitty1899. oh my god

Birthday Picnic by ToxicPineapple. poor kel. he saw mari like a big sister

stuck on one day for the rest of my life by lowbatteryhealth. we as a fandom need more hero angst

Reciting Wrongly by JonRightBackAtcha. not gonna say anything, just read it

Other Half of The Whole by JonRightBackAtcha. did not realise this and 11 were written by the same person. huh.

Fates of Damnation by Anonymous. oh my got two electric boogaloo

heat haze by crowcinthus. as someone who knows nothing about kagerou project wow

The Healing Properties of Reading a Book Out Loud to Your Loved Ones, and Other Domestic Bullshit by Prince_Enby. this ones good even if it hasnt updated in a while

In Which Sunny Is Bad At Naming Things by Prince_Enby. let me introduce you to the chatfic ever

I'll Cherish You Forever by phoeberrie. tiny bit hesitant to recommend this one bc of the themes but there is another fanfic later on this list with similar themes that is basically on every omori rec list ever so just a warning for stalking, obsession and gore. also, heed the tags. its good but not everyone will be comfortable with it.

Sorry as Can Be, For Whatever That Means by JonRightBackAtcha. quite a few fanfics by this author on here. but what can i say, they're great.

sinking. by marlkarx1. this is really good, also pretty dark. heed the tags.

Despite everything by Aisenic_Warrior. another legendary fic with no updates for over a year.

Sometimes a Knife Fight at 3am Can Mend Any Friendship by Shrimp_fry_rice. i dont believe it. you're telling me a shrimp frying rice wrote this fic?

Overwatered Garden by otomerson. rip flower boy lmao (im crying)

Picnic with Mari AU by Gornkleschnitzer. just gonna recommend the whole au

One More Time by GalileoGalilei. think of a 'watching the show' fanfic but its omori post-bad ending. now that i think about it, a version of this fic but they're watching an unserious playthrough on youtube would be kind of funny.

Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance by Smitty1899. whatever you're expecting to happen, you're wrong.

Amusia by JonRightBackAtcha. the legend. i wonder how many times this author has appeared on this list.

Kel kicks Sunny's door down by otomerson. attempted hikkikomori route

The Everyday Shenanigans of Something by Practicallyunethical. obsessed with the references in here.

Reality Check, Please by Paramocks. this fanfic has the kind of humour that could kill a christian grandmother.

Endless Dreaming by otomerson. this fanfiction is so beautiful it can make a grown man cry and thats okay (i dont know the quote dont kill me) please read it

Their Time by ShardOfHope. man this fanfic HURTS. you better read it.

The House That Breathes by Shifting_Walls. THIS IS SO GOOD

Broken Space by SpoonusBoius. yes, this fanfic is dark, but i feel people greatly exaggerate it. its not darker than pursuit, don't worry.

The Sun in Another Solar System by TellThemNaegi. if you look through this entire list while only reading one fanfic from here, please let it be this one. i have been totally fixated on this one and it deserves a mini-community of its own just like some other aus.

You're back, Mari by Anonymous. i hope you all expected this one. this is the mentioned one on no.17. im not sure how many trigger warnings i need considering this entire fic is so infamous i'd be shocked if someone didn't know. i don't want to risk spoiling it so just look at the tags. i was debating putting the sequel on here but decided against it. after all, the absolutely visceral reaction the pursuit au can garner from the fandom after just being mentioned probably has enough potential for a case study.

And there it is. the ultimate omori fanfic rec list consisting of 35 fanfic recs (I was originally gonna put way more on here but i got lazy near the end and put only my all time favourites)

#omori #omori fanfic #omori au #fanfiction #fanfic recs

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tchaikovskaya · 10 months

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this is very tangential so i will just put it in a separate unrebloggable post here lmao but

one thing (which is coming up Bigly wrt this Issue) that has continued to bother me is something ive noticed about an uncomfortable number of people's lack of emotional intelligence (? idk how else to say it but i feel thats not quite it) specifically their apparent refusal to take peoples intentions into account when theyre analyzing interpersonal conflicts.

like okay to give an example thats not related to IPV. (and yeah i know this subreddit is a far cry from an outstanding example of healthy human emotion and social mentality etc etc etc lmao but bear with me)

there was this one post on the AITA subreddit not too long ago that was basically like "i want a child free wedding. teenagers are okay. all of my niblings are 13+ except for my sister's baby who is a baby, like <18mo. all my niblings are thus invited except my sister's baby. my sister is refusing to come to my wedding if she cant bring her kid. my entire side of the family is in a tizzy about it. i wont budge. AITA for getting mad at my sister for turning this into a huge thing?"

and the replies were all like "yes you're the asshole, an invitation isnt a summons sweatie [one of their fave lines lmao] ;)))) uwu you invited her but she doesnt HAVE to come!" like okay yeah thats fine and dandy if she doesnt want to come lmfao but the issue is that the sister is clearly not UNWILLING to go to the wedding, she very much WANTS to go to the wedding but insists on bringing her baby, and her entire family is coming down hard on the bride ON THE SISTERS BEHALF for not making this exception, its not just that shes declining to come its that shes using her whole fukcing family as leverage to pressure the bride into making this allowance!!!! shes not ACTUALLY refusing to come, she has every intention of eventually coming once the bride inevitably caves bc of course she will. Shes fucking clearly being petulant because she's depending on the bride folding and the bride wont, and thats why everyone is upset! at the bride and not at the sister for being stubborn as a mule and making the whole thing about her and her damn baby instead of letting it go and accepting that shes gonna be staying at home !!!!

idk if this even makes any sense at this point lmao its 3am but just like. the insistence that everything happens in a vacuum and we all act according to free will and there are never any external social pressures on us influencing what we are and are not willing to tolerate when dealing with other people. its all just so fucking frustrating idk lmao !!!!

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oddballwriter · 2 years

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Evan enjoyer back with an EMH ask

What about the EMH guys with a night owl s/o? Where nighttime is the most comfortable time for them?

- gonna go by 🫧(bubble anon)

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of some mental health issues and crimes

Author’s Snip: Hey there! It’s nice that you came back! Also, to any other anons who wanna be known but remain anonymous, you can have an emoji as a symbol so that I can tell you guys apart.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Evan

It’s okay, he’s one too

He has a lot of nightmares and weird dreams that make him not really wanna go to sleep

So he gets it

Though in this case your situation is different and you simply stay up cause you like the nighttime, but he still thinks fine and valid

You guys stay up together doing whatever

Like watch a movie, play games, talk, or just simply hang out

Maybe you guys have those late night dates I mentioned in a previous post

You guys honestly do whatever, the night is your oyster

He does worry at first if its a condition like insomnia or if you also struggle with nightmares

But when you tell him that you just like doing things at night then he’s not really worried anymore

As long as you aren’t up for a full 24 hours he’s fine with it

Vinny

Doesn’t really get it tbh

In the sense that at night almost everything is closed so you don’t have much to do when you’re awake at that time

He won’t bash you about it though

As long as it’s not causing you any issues or disfunction then he guesses it’s okay

But he still thinks it’s a little strange

Sometimes he forgets that you stay up all night and you forget that he doesn’t stay up all night like you

So you’ll send him a random text

And then he’ll be confused and a bit concerned for a second on why you texted him at like... 3am

He’s been over at your place and done an all-nigher with you just to see what you even do all night

I know he did that experiment with Jeff for the channel but lets be honest, he was a bit bored

Jeff

Jeff is down to have a late night date/stroll with you or even a “sleep”over

He also has a bit of trouble sleeping so having some company or someone to talk to while he waits for sleep to come and get him is nice

Jeff’s troubles are most likely mental heath related to be entirely honest

I feel like being up with you/being with you in general will help him fall asleep

If he’s over at your place then you guys do whatever you can find in order to entertain yourselves

If you’re not then its one of those calls that go on till you fall asleep kind of deal

HABIT

He technically doesn’t need to sleep, just his host’s body

I’ve talked about this hc with a friend that HABIT himself does not need to sleep but while in a host he actually needs to take a moment to rest so that the body doesn’t collapse from exhaustion

Not for very long though or as often as a regular person, but he does need to take a moment or two for that

So anyways, he’s right by you when you’re up and you guys just do whatever

Get ready for rants, stories about time periods that time periods that no one gets right, and some shenanigans that may or may not get you covered in blood

He’s fun to be around

So long as you don’t mind all the suggestions on doing literal crime

#everymanhybrid #slenderverse #emh vinny #emh evan #emh jeff #vinny everyman #evan myers #jeff koval #emh habit #emh x reader #everymanhybrid x reader #slenderverse x reader #emh vinny x reader #emh evan x reader #emh jeff x reader #emh habit x reader

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tealcaste · 9 months

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hi tumblr time for my daily licorice rambles /hj

anyways so ive been looking at those character playlists recently, and decided to look at licorice ones because how. how bad could they be? (spoiler alert: they were bad. i saw that one "Cause I'm a Liar" aka that one kokichi song on a licorice playlist. A FUCKING LICORICE PLAYLI)

Anyways, ever since i've decided to look for silly little songs that. ACTUALLY relate to licorice (or just songs that remind me of him for some reason), and decided to share it here :33333

(get ready for a massive wall of text)

(also prepare for a lot of grammar + spelling errors fireemoji)

(but then again i wrote most of this at 3am so bear with me plea)

disclaimer if youve never heard of any of these songs just. just listen to them and you'll understand what i mean when i say those songs fit Licorice Cookie plea

i think tbis is the firsr post im actually using capitals yahoo!

alsp ypu xan. feel free to disagree on some songs fireemoji

ok first of all without a doubt, anything from the "People Who Can Eat Are The Luckiest People In The World" album by AJJ can. justifyably fit licorice cookie. SPECIFICALLY Brave as A Noun and Survival Song. I dont know how to explain it but.. the lyrics just.. sorta scream licorice cookie?? Mostly in Survival Song but i added Brave as A Noun since theyre basically just a long song split unto two parts if that makes sense...

BUT HEAR ME OUT ON LICORICE WITH TGE SONG RANDY'S HOUSE. PLEASE. the line "And I hope that our candles flicker and die, so that our hearts don't burn to the ground. Down, down just like Randy's House." jusr fits licorice so muxh i donr know how to explain it... just tge whole aong in general is just so. licorice cookie.

OK next song is "The U & I in Suicide" by That Handsome Devil. Maybe its cuz this song is about death?? But just the whole tone of the song is sorta off putting which imo just.. fits soso much, and this song fits Licorice. The. the lyrics n title r sorta slef explanitory so erm

ok next songs may b a little biased or smth cuz i am a massive Will Wood fan but you cannot deny that. That some willwood songs just.. fit Lico.

I have no idea why but the sonf "BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA" by Will Wood just... heavily reminds me of Licorice?? For no apparent reason?? Maybe its just cuz of the energy of the song if that makes sense??

also one of my friends recommended me this (ty E you're a cool pookie) but "Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones)" by Will Wood and The Tapeworms is just. Licorice Cookie i dont think i need to explain this one

There are a bit more Will Wood and The Tapeworms songs but they sorta jjst follow. the sssame reasons as BlackBoxWarrior -- OKULTRA so errmmmmmmm

aNYWAYS I'd. id like to mention that j feel like "Kiss Me, Son of God" by They Might Be Giants sortaa fits him... liek tthinj abt it... id like to imagine tbag lico sometimes wondee what it would be liek if. he had been taken seriously aand so hed sorta imagine just. being above everyone abd i feel like that song sorta.. helps explain that??

I also think "Losers" by The Cardigans would sorta fit him..LIKE THE LINE "You were that you were special ; I'm just like you." JUST.. OH KY GKD??? THATS SO???? I dont know how to explain it but its just so... licorice cookie for me i dont k ow how to epxlain it.... sksnakdmaknd

there are some other somgs but like. they sorta follow the same reasons as the songs I've mentioned soooooo

anywyas as mentioned earlier.. feel free to disagree with any songs!!! and also if you have some songs tbat reming you of lico feel free to share :333

#licorice cookie my beloved #cookie run #licorice cookie #rambling about licorice #idk #seeing “cause im a liar” on a LICORICE PLAYLIST scarred me/j #i am so scared to post this #this post either goes really well #or really bad #but oh well #im just gonna pray for the best #jayce loses his sanity over licorice real not clickbait

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the-autistic-gemini · 11 days

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Hi, for my first real post, imma post my silly Maka hcs. There's a tad bit of spice in here, but it's mostly mild. Uhhh, enjoy!

• Bi bi bi! She strikes me as demiro and Demisexual and bi or pan (I'm not at all projecting fuck off) she's either a cis girl or a trans girl depending on my mood.

• For her body type and stuff she's above average height (like 5'6 or 5'7), but her limbs are so long and willowly she looks taller. Her torso is average size, and her legs are long. She's a petite with maybe a b cup chest and a tummy with a bit of chub at the bottom. She has toned muscular arms. Her skin is super soft, and bruises easy. She has scars she doesn't know the origin of and constantly has bruises around her knees.

• She totally asks pronouns anytime she meets someone (hers are she/her btw) she's all like "Hi! I'm Maka my pronouns are she/what are yours?

• She's so friendly and sweet when you first meet her then you slowly realize she has the personality a grumpy temperamental old cat

• She's a really good cook but her and soul take turns cooking and sometimes someone has to make the 3am microwave cup noodles of shame.

• After re-watching more of the show, my opinion changed bc its been a while. Still think she's a good cook but bitch has autism foods. Hates the texture of raw fish but doesn't mind it cooked. She's not really a big meat person. I think she considers going vegetarian or vegan a lot but A) soul loves meat and she doesn't want to have a moral delima and B) girl is a cheese lover and vegan cheese has a bad texture. She tried it once and wanted to spit it out. Super particular about texture. Seems like she's good at making and likes breakfast food. Mac and cheese and chicken nugget enthusiast.

• For drinks I feel like she's a water drinker but likes green tea (especially matcha I feel like her dad jokes about how Maka and matcha sound similar. She hates it) she also drinks orange or apple juice with breakfast. If she ever needs caffeine she'll drink Dr. Pepper or coffee with a small amount of cream and sugar.

• If we're talking alchohol she's not a big drinker (probs bc her dad) and never drank underage but while legal has like a glass of wine from time to time

• Mom friend in every sense of the word I feel like she consistently checks on blackstar and soul to make sure they are turning in their homework

• I feel she loves talking to strangers

• Shes such a hugger (unless she's mad at someone then she won't touch them for a week)

• Music taste hcs are so important to me, and I feel like most ppl get Maka wrong. Girl does not understand music she had to read a book to understand it; therefore, I think her music taste is odd and not stuff Soul is really into. Soul is happy she found music she likes but doesn't quite get why she likes it. I feel like she likes heavily electronic music, scenecore, and nightcore. Very upbeat stuff to help her stay alert and awake during study sessions. Most music sounds like noise to her, so it's not as off-putting to her as it is to some others.

• She falls asleep on the couch in the front room of her and souls apartment while studying a lot. Soul will see her and smile be he thinks she's cute. He'll pick her up and put her in her bed (if it's after they start dating He'll change her into night clothes)

• Speaking of night clothes she has matching pajama sets that are super soft materials or simple night gowns. She definitely sleeps in clothes most of the time I feel like she runs cold and she'd only be comfortable sleeping naked with soul A) bc she trusts him B) bc he's warm. Only reason she would not sleep naked with her other partner often is that bitch is cold

• Oh ya she's dating soul and crona btw. In my perfect little world. They have 2 completely different relationship dynamics.

• With Soul, she teases him and often shows irritation or frustration with him. I also feel like they are more intimate. She's not really soft or gentle with him she doesn't need to be they know eachothers limits and bodies and souls intuitively. They're essentially super close best friends who tease and bully eachother but also fuck. And that works for them. They didn't want anything to change their relationship when they started dating anyway .

• She's softer with Crona, it seems more like a romantic relationship in vibes. They cuddle a lot. I feel like they have self care days bc Maka is scared crona won't take care of themself on their own. Crona appreciates her doting. They never got to have a loving mom, so they love when Maka does their hair or paints her nails. They're soft. They have intimacy, but it's both less rough and less frequent than Soul and Maka. They both enjoy kissing and being soft and loving to each other.

• Maka is the leader in both her relationships. Her partners are passive she is more decisive and dominant.

• Soul and Crona don't date each other only Maka, but they will all hang out together and are good friends. They plan her birthdays together and are just kinda in eachothers corner, especially when it comes to Maka related stuff.

• I feel like tsubaki is her closet girl friend.

• Did I mention Maka has autism? No? Well, she does. I feel like she's diagnosed too

#maka x soul #croma #maka albarn #soul x maka #crona x maka #soma #soul eater #soul eater evans #soul evans #crona gorgon #headcanon #headcanons #spicy headcanons #omg i love Maka so much

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