#it's just the perfect ya little romcom okay . has all the parts you want in it !! and lara-jean is so real so cute okay

[dykefever]

sorryyyy i think to all the boys i've loved before is a fantastic film. i'm right though

#and noah centineo? well he's charming he plays a lovely boyfriend !!! netflix knows what they're doing casting him #sorry i fall for the boy with big brown eyes and a cheeky smile !!!! it will happen again!!!! #it's just the perfect ya little romcom okay . has all the parts you want in it !! and lara-jean is so real so cute okay #watching the trilogy rn #to all the boys literally fixed my comedown yesterday. that's powerful #laura says some things

[miyalove]

⋆｡˚⁀➷ PILLOW TALK.

cr. originally posted by houseofkarasuno

⤷ pairing. suna rintaro x fem!reader

⤷ genre. fluff, suggestive, timeskip au, established relationship au

⤷ warnings. swearing, crude language, crude humor, implied sex, mentions of bondage, mentions of hickeys,  *unedited’

1.5k | after one of the greatest fucks in your life, suna pops the big question. your response has him not as surprised as he would have thought.

your breath evens out slowly while you trace the outlines of your dull ceiling. besides you, suna plops down on your sheets. he faces you, golden eyes hooded while exhaustion dances behind them.

“how was that?” it’s a question that has you giggling around your jagged breaths. the noise makes him quirk a brow. 

“you always ask that after we fuck.”

“it’s cause i wanna know if ya liked it,” you can practically imagine his cute little shrug after he speaks. it’s become a habit of his to nonchalantly shrug things off, but you know him better than that. it’s not just a simple question. he doesn’t just want to know if you liked it. he wants to know if you liked it. if the position he had you in hurt or if the knots bounding your wrist to the bedpost were too tight. he wanted to know if you were okay. they’re two vastly different concepts, according to him.

you let out a sigh, shifting your position to face your boyfriend. a thin layer of sweat is still present on his skin. under the lighting he looks like he’s glowing making him impossibly more attractive. unbeknownst to you, he’s thinking the same thing. your delicate body fits perfectly next to his like you were simply made to be with him. 

“yes, i liked it, rintaro.” you punctuate your claim with a soft grin, “more than that actually.” you shift closer to him. “that might of just been our best one yet.”

as you wiggle, the mattress moans with your heavy movement. the familiar groan cracks a small smile on your boyfriends face, probably thinking of a stupid innuendo. you shot him a glare, daring him to say it. he let’s out a dry chuckle, rolling his eyes instead. 

“good boy,” you lean down pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. it taste salty from the lingering sweat and it’s quick not wanting to get his gross bodily fluids all up on your face either. no matter how quick you are though, you could never be as fast as professional athlete suna rintaro (it’s something he always reminds you about).

in one quick motion, suna wraps his macular arms around your middle. he drags your body over his own. the shock has you struggling to find a grip. your hands fail around to find some kind of support. your legs twist and tangle themselves in your blankets. suna’s arms stay wrapped around your core, steadying you while you struggle. 

it’s an awkward sight. your legs try to mount his hips, but the room is too dark and you’re bones rattle with exertion. to suna, it’s a sight to behold. your hair is messy from your previous action but it frames your pretty face in just the right way. he admires the way you struggle to hop over him. you’re a lot smaller than he is (just the way he likes it, if he’s being honest) so you’re determination to fit is admirable. he can’t help the feeling that washes over him while he eyes you cutely struggling. 

it’s laughable. it’s clumsy. it’s you-- that’s all he could ever want.

“you looked like a fish nearin’ it’s last days,” you huff at the dig. only he would throw such a specific insult. when you finally find purchase on top of him, you feel his knees bend behind you. gladly, you lean back thankful for the support. a comfortable silence takes over the room. he watches as your eyes flutter shut. it seems like fatigue as finally caught up with you. 

he allows you to lean into him. all your weight shifts onto his legs and even if they ache from practice, he doesn’t dare move or mention it. he doesn’t want to wake you. you do so much for him. the least he could do was let you have a few minutes of rest. in the silence, his eyes get to work on you. 

you’re tits are on full display as well as your tummy and if he were to pull at the sheets, your pretty pink panties would be uncovered. it was the only thing you managed to throw own before flopping yourself into bed. pink looks good on you. it was a something he noticed a while ago. he racks his brain to the first time he saw you in the soft color.

3rd year, lantern festival. 

you looked stunning in that outfit. the dress curved and accented all the best part of your body. the bright pink contrasted perfectly with the dark sky surrounding you. you shined bright that day, heads turned and necks were broken. at the time, it worried him having not been yours. he stuck beside you for an uncharacteristic amount of time. every corner you went, he seemed to randomly be there and ready to help you win prizes or to tease you about the little things. 

he was worried then but now, he he’s able to hold you in his arms without a worry. he’s able to fuck you senseless until you’re begging for more. he can be little patchy with replying back to your messages and sometimes he isn’t in the mood for PDA but you understand that. 

you understand him. 

you understand his silences. his thoughtless grunts. his wordless stares.

at this realization, something switches within him. he needs to say something. his words are caught in his throat. choked between waking you up or letting you rest. his heart pounds, his fingers are suddenly jittery. he loves you so fucking much. from the day you stepped into his classroom to introduce yourself to the moment you made fun of atsumu over a shared interest. he finally saw you that day. he knew then he wanted to have your melodious giggle as the sound track to his life. 

he was so stupidly in love with you then.

he takes one last glance your way. his throat dries with that same nervousness he had when he asked you out for the first time (he was a broke 3rd year, so he took you out the the fanciest ramen vending machine spot he knew then the two of you stayed up all night walking and venturing the city. it was absolutely perfect). 

and now five years later, nothing has changed. 

“till death do us apart.” it comes out in a mumble of anxiousness, but it’s loud enough to stir you awake.

your eyes gently open and he’s staring straight into you. your brows crinkle, slightly worried. you’ve only seen him this tense a few times in your time together. they were all about volleyball. weather his time was going to win or not weather he was training hard enough-- all worries that were be quickly squashed once you were there to call him down. 

never have you seen this look as you laid down with him. in the middle of your thoughts, it remember that you had to reply. rubbing the sleep out of your eye, you shake your head, “what was that, love?”

he repeats himself again, just a little bit louder this time. it still makes your head tilt in question. ‘till death do us apart? what the hell is he on about? what about death? and why are we apart of it?

you sit on on his lap staring into his widened eyes. they’re glossed over, hazed with a fear that brings you back to the honeymoon phases of your relationship. you’re so tied up in the thought, you have to force yourself to focus again. till death do us apart... ‘till death do us apart? wait--

“proposing on valentines day?” you lean over him. your chest presses up against his bare torso. you smirk, “how... original.” sarcasm laces your tone. the way you’re able to tease him in such a delicate situation has him huffing out a breath he hadn’t know he was holding. 

“that doesn’t sound like a yes to me.”

“that’s because it wasn’t, silly.”

that heavy feeling presses at his chest again. “oh.” 

one word yet you could already tell he was overthinking it. 

“hey, hey. slow down there.” you pet at his dark locks, gently lacing your fingers through them. your hot breath fans at his face with how close you. mindlessly, he rests his hands on your hips pulling you impossibly closer. 

“i’m not saying no either, rin.” he tilts his head, obviously confused. you read him like an open book as you continue. you can’t help the disappointed sigh, “i’m not saying yes because a proposal on valentines day, rin? come on! you’re 1000 times better than that!” 

so many emotions show through him. there’s confusion because why would you play with him like that. there’s a side of him that want to roll his eyes at your childish antics. then there’s a side of him that gets it. it’s too cliché. it’s too lovey-dovey honeymoon phase. you were never one for romcoms anyways so he gets it. 

“so it’s not a no either?”

“it’s a- uh... to be decided,” you purr.

silence.

“you’re so fucking lucky i love you.” he angles himself forward, pressing a kiss to your lips. it’s starts off soft. your mouths slotting together perfectly. then his grip on your hips gets tighter. your hands start to roam his body. and the way his hands coax you to move has you already knowing where this is going. 

“yeah, yeah. i love you too.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #hq!! x reader #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #haikyuu smut #hq smut #suna rintaro #suna smut #suna rintaro smut

[rkorlov]

MONDAY the movie (review)

Even though I’ve already made an hour long video review for my YouTube channel because why not? I still need to take my thoughts into written form and give them to anyone who comes across this on tumblr ‘cause yeah, I want to.

1. If you expect me to talk about nudity, nah, I don’t give a shit about that and just because I love Sebastian to bits doesn’t mean I’m gonna go ahead and sexualize him because that’s not me nor what I care for so as long as nude scenes concern me, that’s all I’ve got to say.

Also, if I see people body shaming any of the actors in this movie, Imma come for ya, bitches.

Now now, let’s go!

Overall, this is such an incredible and beautiful movie. Since I watched the trailer I knew that somehow I’d love it because it seemed fun and the characters in it were very real to me. And this is a surprise because I cannot begin to explain to you how much I despise romantic movies but this one? Damn, this one was so damn good.

The story pretty much follows Chloe and Mickey and they’re far from being perfect, that’s one of the things I like. They’re two flawed individuals who found each other and shared a night and a whole day that were enough to jump ahead and decide to begin a story. That was great,

One thing I enjoyed a whole lot is how well used was the typical trope of the airport scene. It was so fun to watch because the scene wasn’t there at the end but it was part of the beginning of their story, y’know and one thing I despise about RomComs and blahblah is that it’s always about meeting and falling in love but never about building the relationship AND THAT’S WHERE MONDAY GOT IT FUCKING RIGHT. They dedicated their time to actually build a relationship between the two MC’s, not just the typical we met, we fell in love, that’s all you need to know. Nono, these guys are moving in together, they’re sharing their time, screwing around, cooking for each other, learning to live with each other, getting through work, through life, seeing what they like about each other, fighting, making up. And that’s great because it’s REAL. That’s what real relationships are all about, about how you build knowing the two are totally flawed people who screw up a whole bunch and have issues.

The characters throughout the movie were so beautifully laid on that canvas, they had a development that felt real, and yeah, I’ll keep using the word real because even the camera work makes it feel like that. It only contributed to how much I really liked it... but back to the characters. AWESOME. I’m not really gonna spoil much because people need to see it but THEY’RE SUPER INTERESTING PEOPLE TO BE AROUND and in the entirety of it I was really moved by them.

Denise Gough, WHAT AN OUTSTANDING ACTRESS. DAMN. She’s so physical and it’s beautiful, and what I mean by this is that there are plenty of moments in which Chloe is only expressing herself through physical movement and Denise just managed to convey every feeling, thought and sentiment that Chloe was going through in a magnificent way. I really felt for her and there were countless scenes that gave me all the feels. She is the HIGHLIGHT of this story.

Sebastian... ah, what do I got to say about Sebastian? I love this dude, like immensely, and there’s a thing about his characters that he either makes me love them with all my heart (exhibit A: Bucky Barnes) or hate them to pieces (not even gonna talk about the jerk but name starts with F of fuck-you-bitch). Mickey was one of the ones I loved. His story made me feel so close to him and it’s a guy from which you can learn a lot, especially about one of the most important things the movie is about: seizing the moment, just living and taking those chances. What I liked the most about Mickey is that he’s got so much to live and learn yet, he’s sort of a man-child at times and you get that. He’s reckless, a mess, does everything last minute, I mean, if I dated a guy like him he’d probably drive me insane... and I guess that’s why I loved him, because he’s a mess and he knows and still tries his best with what he’s got. I just... I’m glad they grabbed a guy like Sebastian Stan who’s like perfect (in my definition he is, okay?) and everyone has a crush on and just had him portray this very flawed real man.

That’s the thing: Chloe and Mickey are so real because they both are imperfect and the movie is a true depiction of what being in a relationship with imperfect people is like, it’s not just the pretty things, it’s the everything that makes it work. It’s going past those first months of everything is pink color, everything is love and sex and beautiful and seeing how the person you love is a little different to what you pictured and yet, in spite of all those flaws and issues, you choose them.

Then, the message of the movie, the idea of just jumping into those ideas even if they’re insane. The living, loving with all you’ve got, fighting for the people you love ‘cause they’re worth it. Going out there and just being... I mean, it’s a reminder that all we really need is to go out there and do our very best to enjoy and have a great time.

I’m quite happy with this movie so good feelings over all.

#Monday the movie #Monday #Sebastian Stan #Denise Gough

[devilatmydoor]

this christmas I l.r.h

a/n; the first installment of my ficmas event! this idea was totally and completely self indulgent but i thought it was a cute idea! it features one of my favorite tropes of all time!  enjoy! 

summary; You attend Michael and Crystal’s annual christmas party with your secret santa gift in hand. You receive an unexpected and priceless gift from your secret santa. 

pairing; luke/reader // word count;  1,905  masterlist / ficmas masterlist 

warnings; drinking/alcohol & fluff 

You cut the engine of your car as you reached Michael’s neighborhood, you looked at the bag in your passengers seat nervously as you grabbed it and got out of your car. You knew if you arrived any later to Crystal and Michael’s party someone would call you, most likely Luke or Ashton wondering when you’d show. You knew they wouldn’t start Secret Santa until you arrived but no telling what else would ensue as the party went on.

You locked your car and walked on the sidewalk , as you reached Michael’s place when you heard Christmas music playing. You walked up to the door and slowly opened it and by no surprise the first people you saw were Michael and Calum in the kitchen drinking the spiked eggnog you never thought you’d hear the end of. Ashton made eye contact with you and waved, you walked over to him as his dimples were on full display, “You're finally here! We were ready to send a search party for you!” He teased with a smile

"I'm hardly an hour late, where should I put my secret Santa gift?" You asked looking around for your secret Santa recipient.

"Oh right here," Ashton instructed as pointed to the table filled with gifts.

You set your gift down before Ashton led you into the kitchen as Calum and Michael refilled their cups with more eggnog, "Did you spike the drink?"

"Yeah Mike, I brought a bottle and spiked it when no one was looking." Calum shook his head as he saw you and smiled, "Eggnog?"

"I'll pass, thank you." You smile looking over the array of drink selections in front of you.

"Awh no eggnog?" You heard a familiar voice as his hand rested on the small of your back; your body tensed as your eyes met his ocean blues.

"I don't like eggnog, sue me." You shrugged as you giggled at Michael and Calum trying to figure out who spiked the drink.

His hand still on your back as he looked for something to drink, "Michael where is the tequila?"

You giggled at his desperation for his favorite drink, "Luke, I think you'll have to drink something else."

He says in frustration, the smile across his face makes it obvious he's just teasing. "But!"

All you could think about was his perfect butt. The bubble butt you found yourself staring at when he wasn't looking.

"You can't always get what you want Luke, how about peppermint schnapps?" You asked as you grabbed a cup and filled it halfway.

"Peppermint Schnapps? Love, have you ever seen me drink anything like it?" He asked as his eyes scanned the table.

"Try mine, see if you like it." You smiled handing him the cup to drink out of.

He took a sip and you looked to see his reaction, "Not so bad little one, I'll try it."

Little one, one of his pet names for you. Ever since you met he'd call you that.

"For the last time I am not little! Your just a giant and compared to you everything is small."

"Not everything," He winked as he poured a cup of schnapps.

You playfully hit his arm, "Luke!"

He chuckled as he walked with you towards an open spot on the couch. You sat next to him as you sipped your drink, he leaned toward you so only you'd hear him "Okay time to spill, who did you have?"

You giggled at his antics, you leaned closer to him to whisper, "Luke its Secret Santa for a reason!"

"Love, I'm dying to know who you have! You've been so secretive ever since we drew names." He looked around the room and then back at you.

"That's the whole point you dork! Be patient like everyone else." You teased getting off the couch as Crystal motioned you over.

"Where are you going?" He asked as his eyes never left you.

"Crystal is motioning me over, I'll be right back!" You giggled with your drinking hand as you walked towards her.

"You two are something else, I've been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes!" Crystal expressed. 

"Sorry, he's been hounding me about who I have for Secret Santa."

"Still? Him and Michael are the same! He kept bothering me!"

"Why am I not surprised? I'm gonna bring some cookies over, he's stuck drinking Peppermint Schnapps."  You joked playfully as you grabbed a plate and filled it with cookies.

"He'll never let Michael live down not buying any tequila."  She giggled as you walked toward Luke who was on his phone, you sat down and he put his phone away.

"Ouh cookies!" He smiled as he grabbed one and began eating it. You grabbed one of the iced cookies and took a bite.

"I thought you could use a snack." You smiled as you ate your cookie.

"Thank you love," He flashed his smile as you ate your cookie, "Oh you've got some. Uh-"

"I've got what?" You asked confused as he licked his thumb and swiped the pad of his thumb on the edges of your mouth.

"Icing darlin, you had some icing on your mouth." He winked as he finished his cookie and reached for another.

"Thank you, when do you think Cal and Michael will stop playing chess?" You giggled looking over at them in their own world as Ashton strummed the guitar while Kay Kay and Crystal talked.

"If one of us doesn't step in soon I reckon we'll be here past 1am with those two playing." He smiled sitting closer to you, "Now’s the time to tell me darlin, I won't tell anyone I promise.'

"Oh my god Luke!" You turned your head realizing how close his face was in proximity to yours. His pink lips agonizingly close to yours.

"Love, I'm just messing with you. When do you go home for the holidays?"

Your mind went completely blank, you suddenly couldn't remember if your family was coming to L.A or if you were going to them. Your eyes locked on his, "I'm not sure I'll be right back."  You shook your head before standing up straight and giving Ashton a knowing look. You made a run for the bathroom to take some deep breaths. You leaned against the door as you closed your eyes trying to calm down. You heard a knock at the door causing you to jump . Your eyes open as Ashton says your name.  “Yes?”

“We’re about to open presents!” He informs as you open the door to meet him.

Finally.

“Oh thank god, let’s go before they start without us.”

Ashton giggled as you walked with him towards the living room where everyone was waiting,  Matt Pauling had finally showed up which explained the wait. You sat next to the free space on the edge of the couch next to Crystal.

Ashton decided to open his first; everyone laughing at Calum’s facial expression which easily gave him away. He went next opening his gift as Crystal looked at you and then at Michael giving her tell away. Luke’s eyes met yours as you could feel your cheeks flush.

Ashton decided to switch things up as he handed Luke his gift, “Here ya go mate, you’ve been anxious all night.”

“Thanks Ash.” He smiled as he opened the gift, your heart rate increasing as you watched him open the gift from you. He looked at you, already knowing it was from you.

“Thank you love, I knew you had me.” He giggled as his cheeks turned a familiar shade of pink.

“Is that why you wouldn’t stop bothering me?” You teased as Ashton gave you your gift; you removed the tissue paper as you could cry from the contents. Everything in the bag were all of your favorite things you didn’t think anyone would pay attention to. Your favorite brand of lip balm, type of socks you loved and snacks always craved down to a gift card to your favorite store. It meant everything to you that someone paid that attention to what you loved so much.  Narrowing down who was left, Michael looked at Luke followed by you looking at him and you knew from the smile he was giving you that he gave you all of your favorites.

“Thank you Lu.” Was all you could get out as Crystal opened her gift from Matt before Michael opened his gift from Kay Kay.

Crystal leaned in, “You two had each other, no one else had each other.” She looked at Luke, “It’s almost as if-”

“Crystal don’t start with your fate nonsense.” You teased playfully shaking your head.

Michael joined in, “Crystal has a point.”

“Oh not you too, both of you need to stop watching Romcoms.”

As much as you wanted to deny that it was a coincidence, part of you wondered if it was.

Luke got off the couch and walked up to you and bent down so he was eye level with you, “Did you like your gift?”

You nodded as you smiled holding the bag in your arms, “I love it Luke, thank you.”

“Of course darlin, come with me.” He said with a smile as you followed him into the bathroom as the party continued on.

“Wanna help me put on the choker you got me?” He asked softly as he handed it to you.

“You wanna wear it?”

He nodded as you stepped closer to him as you looped his choker around his neck, his soft skin against yours as you nervously clasped the hook while Luke intently watched you.

Your eyes locked with his as you stepped backwards as your back met the door behind you. The tension between you thick as you cleared your throat hoping it would help the dryness. “Lu?”

“Yes?” He said as he ran his fingers through his curls.

“I know the timing of what I’m about to say isn’t perfect  but I can’t take it anymore.” You started as he tilted his head as he listened to the words spewing from your lips.

“I just- Uh.”

“Hey, talk to me what’s going on are you okay?” He asked, concerned as he stepped closer to you, “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Okay, I’m not saying this to ruin our relationship, that is the last thing I want. I’ve loved you from the moment we met and I know it’s the oldest story in the history of books,” You rambled, “But I do.”

“Is it safe to assume you're not talking about loving me as a friend but more?” You nodded as he took a deep breath, “It is the oldest story in the history of books but did you ever think  I felt the same?”

“I did but-”

“But what? I do. I always have, always will.”

You stepped closer to him as you cupped your face in his hands, “Say the words Luke.”

“I love you.”

Relieved the pad of your thumb touched his lips as he softly kissed your thumb, “I love you.”

“Oh just kiss me already will you?” He winked as he leaned forward to kiss you, his lips softer than you imagine.

You giggled as he continuously pecked your lips as your hands rested on the nape of his neck, “I had no idea the night would end like this.”

“Who said anything about it ending?”

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#luke hemmings #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings one shot #luke hemmings fanfiction #christmas 5sos #lost in queue #q #devilatmydoor ficmas #ficmas

[sparrellow]

What the Heart Wants

“Don’t break my heart again, Rin Kagamine.”

— childhood friends, and the art of growing up.

rating: T genre: romance/hurt/comfort/angst ships: rin/len, a sprinkle of miku/kaito words:  3,357

Rin was not much of a party-goer. She preferred the comfort of the couch and TV in her living room, watching sad love stories and stuffing her face with Happy Turn rice crackers. At least there, she could hear her own thoughts.

But Miku was having a party. A special party. A reunion party, of sorts. And as much as she didn’t want to go, she felt obliged to for the sake of their friendship.

So there she was, standing in the corner of the room, hiding behind a glass of lemon chu-hai. It was busy, full of familiar faces she didn’t want to see. She hadn’t even really thought much about what kind of situation she’d landed herself in until a certain blonde boy—man, he’s a man, Rin—came striding into the room like a celebrity guest-appearance on a TV show.

His smile was dazzling, and enough to turn her world upside-down.

Immediately she made a mad dash for Miku, who was standing on the other side of the room, making small talk with some of her guests. Rin ducked behind her like a shield, praying she hadn’t just caught You Know Who’s attention.

“Rin, what are you doing?” Miku asked with a frown, glancing over her shoulder at her.

Rin shushed her. “I’m hiding,” she said.

“Hiding from who?”

“Him.” She hoped she wouldn’t have to drop anymore hints to give away who she was talking about.

Miku gave her a clueless look, before scanning the room. Her gaze fell on Him, the man, and her eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?” she asked, rolling her eyes. “You’re still not over Len?”

Rin puffed out her cheeks. “It’s not that, I’m—”

“Rin,” Miku said, turning to face her. She grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her lightly. “You know, maybe it’s time you adult up and take initiative. You can’t run away from him forever. And I’m not going to be your bodyguard at my party.” Her tone was firm, unsaid words heard between the lines: And that’s final.

With that, Miku whipped around and strolled off to greet said person.

Rin ducked back behind a pot plant nearby, her heart racing. Easier said than done, she thought with a frown. It was maybe childish of her, in retrospect—but she hadn’t grown up still, even after all these years.

They were childhood friends, after all, and that part of her life was filled with fond memories of him; the kind that spread through her chest with a warm, bubbling sensation. But childhood was long gone, and they’d long grown apart, and Len had changed in more ways than one.

He wasn’t that scrawny little kid anymore.

Rin stared down into her glass, watching as bubbles rose from the bottom, one by one.

It wasn’t always all sunshine and roses. When they’d grown up enough, enough for her to finally realise that oh no, I might kind of like him , that was when their relationship slowly began to change. Like the Earth orbiting the Sun—they were stuck in a gravitational pull, sometimes close, sometimes far, going around in circles. He fell in love with another girl, and that was when she thought:

I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.

How it’d hurt her to cut him off and build a wall between them, how it’d tore her apart—how it’d tore him apart. There was this knot of guilt in the pit of her stomach. A knot of guilt as he had grabbed her hand one afternoon and asked, Why? Why have you been so distant?

Rin had never given him an answer.

They hadn’t talked since. It’d been at least five years.

The glass almost went flying from her hand as someone touched her elbow, shaking her from her thoughts. It was Kaito.

Her shoulders sagged with relief.

“Sorry—sorry,” he apologised, noticing he’d startled her. That didn’t stop him from giving her a look of concern. “What are you doing behind the pot plant, Rin?”

Rin’s cheeks burned. “Hiding,” she mumbled.

Kaito quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

Not giving an answer, she simply led his gaze to Miku and Len chatting idly in the centre of the room. 

“Oh.” His lips thinned, eyebrows furrowing, creating a crease in his forehead. “You… still haven’t made amends?”

Rin’s thumb drew patterns in the condensation of her cup. Her eyes were glued to the floor. “No.”

Kaito was a lot more understanding than Miku. Forgiving, somewhat. He was like an older brother, but the nice kind, the kind that you would go to for advice. His gentleness was his whole appeal.

“Maybe you should,” he suggested, his lips curving in somewhat of a hopeful smile. “You know, it’s been a while, Rin. He might… I’m sure he would like to talk to you.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. 

He stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Waiting for her to explain why she couldn’t do seemingly the simplest thing in the world.

She kept talking. “I just can’t. It’s so hard. How could I just walk up to him and talk to him like nothing ever happened—it left a hole in me. Maybe it left a hole in him, too.”

Kaito looked back at Len, across the room, chuckling at something Miku said. He frowned in thought. “You don’t have to do that,” he said, reaching up to pat her on the head. “You don’t have to do anything, really. But you shouldn’t hide behind the pot plant all night. Because then nothing will happen at all.”

He pulled his hand away and strolled off, the cold air hitting the top of Rin’s head like a slap to the face.

Slowly, slowly, she took his advice.

.

When Len had spotted her on the couch later that evening, he sauntered over with a guarded expression. 

Rin had been staring blankly at the TV screen, considering calling it a night at 9pm, when she sensed his gaze and tore her eyes away to meet his. A chill ran up her spine, and in an attempt not to flee the situation, she downed her entire drink in one go.

She figured she didn’t trust her sober self as much to handle the interaction.

He took a seat near her—leaving enough space for another body to sit in between them, had someone want to—and leant back in the chair, folding one leg up to rest on his thigh. Her hand shook as she put the glass down on the table, and it clattered against the lacquered wood before letting it go.

A silence that was enough to drive any person towards insanity stretched between them. Rin knew he was probably finding the words he wanted to say—calculated, well-rehearsed—he was that kind of person. He never said anything without thinking about it first; especially not in this kind of situation.

Her eyes bore holes into her kneecaps as she waited, and waited, and waited.

Eventually, Len cleared his throat. She almost jumped out of her skin. “So,” he said. “You won’t even say hi to me, Rin?”

Blood pooled to her cheeks as her heart jumped to life in her chest. She wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed or guilt-ridden or terrified, or maybe all at once. Her tongue darted over her lips; they were dry, she felt parched despite downing that whole glass. The music that had been playing in the background the whole time suddenly seemed awfully loud.

“I…” Rin squeaked down at her knees. The words were getting stuck in her throat, choking her up, and she had a sudden urge to hurl over the side of the couch. Placing a hand to her mouth, she swallowed, closed her eyes, and reminded herself to breathe. 

His gaze left the side of her face to travel across the room, but he kept talking. “I know you saw me.”

Her fingers curled around the fabric of her dress with a tremble. Tonight, she’d tried for something a little more ambitious, a little more mature; the dress was short and flowy, yellow and floral-lace, it sat high at the base of her neck but dipped down her back, exposing smooth, white skin. 

But around Len, she simply felt like a little girl dressed up in her mother’s clothes.

“I… was waiting for you to say something first,” she rasped out, the words finally untangling from her tongue.

Len’s eyes went back to her. His mouth opened, closed, opened again—the gears were turning in his mind, typing out a script on a typewriter, perfecting every sentence. Finally, he settled for a, “Huh.”

Rin slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes were a dark, stormy blue; they always had been. Mischievous, mysterious, there was always this glint to them, something so familiarly Len. His fingers drummed against the backrest of the couch, playing out some secret melody—perhaps it was a song he played on piano. He liked piano.

Len swept a stray hair away from his face. “It’s been a while since we last talked, Rin,” he said, eyes flickering between her face and the rest of the room. He reached for his drink on the coffee table in front of them and took a sip, before continuing, “Missed ya.”

Heat climbed to her face, and she looked at her own empty glass on the table, willing for it to fill up. “Yeah,” she breathed, unsure if she’d just heard him right.

“Has life been treating you well?” he asked, casual, but she could tell in his mind he was trying to plot a path to lead the conversation somewhere she didn’t want it to go.

Rin traced out the patterns on her sleeve with a finger; following the stem, a leaf, the flower petals… counting them, five… six… “It’s…” Her mouth was as dry as a wall. She swallowed. “It’s… yeah. Good, I guess.”

If Len had noticed how nervous she was, he wasn’t letting on. “That’s nice.”

The silence that followed reminded her of her table manners. “Erm, how—how about you?”

His lips curved, the beginnings of a smile, and his eyes were now focussed on the TV screen. Some romcom was playing. Not that it really mattered—the volume was muted. “It’s been okay. Work is okay. Busy. Could be paid more, but I guess I’ll never really make big money as a composer, hey?”

That reminded her. She didn’t really know what he went on to study in university. Music, huh, she thought. It was a surprise that even his parents had let him go into such a field. 

“I do tutoring on the side, with kids, too,” he added, a wistfulness to his gaze. “It’s a bit of extra pocket money, at least.”

Rin eased back into the couch. “I’m happy to hear you’re… doing something you love.”

“Hmm.” His lips thinned out. “What about you? Go on to be an English major?”

Probably that was what she had told him, the last time they’d talked. They were still in high school. Young. Full of hope. She shook her head, hair bouncing with the movements. “No. I’m just… an office worker. I work for the advertising department of a record label.”

Len raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pity,” he said. “I thought you would be a good teacher.”

She laughed in an exhale. The thought seemed absurd now. She didn’t need to tell him that, though.

“So.” He was staring up at the ceiling now. His fingers were still drumming. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat. Rin could just about predict what was coming next. “So… why did you stop talking to me all those years ago, Rin?”

She could predict it, but she still didn’t know how she would even answer it. That guilty rock returned; sinking down heavy inside of her, weighing her down. The blood in her ears was loud, rushing, almost drowning out the sound of the party around them. 

Somewhere, somehow, her mouth started moving, words spilling out like a pot that’d overboiled. “It’s not that I… it wasn’t… I didn’t mean to…” She took a breath, trying to steady the pounding of her heart. “It’s just… so hard to say.”

Len frowned, not satisfied with her answer. “It’s hard to say,” he echoed, in a tone that showed he didn’t believe in those words as much as he didn’t believe in ghosts. “What, you can’t even tell me what I did to piss you off so bad that you wouldn’t talk to me anymore?”

His question sliced through her like a knife, and she winced. Her arms went to wrap around herself, she curled in, like a turtle retreating into its shell. “It’s not even… that,” she mumbled down to her knees. She felt so pathetic. “You didn’t do anything. It was just… me.”

He blinked at her, not quite comprehending that maybe—possibly—after all these years, after all these years of conjuring up some explanation in his head as to why she suddenly hated him, maybe it wasn’t because he had done anything wrong. “Huh,” he said, and this time, it wasn’t a calculated response.

“I’m just…” Rin hovered, choosing her next words carefully. She smiled at her empty glass on the table, but it was secretly a grimace. “I was just a scared, little girl. Scared of a broken heart.” And I still am.

Len was silent, processing her words. She needed another drink if this conversation was going to carry on. She reached for her glass and stood, not looking at his face. “I’m going to the bar. You want anything?”

He shook his head. She left him sitting. She did everything within her power, this time, to not run away.

When she returned to take a seat with another glass of chu-hai, Len’s hand lashed out, snapping up her wrist in a firm, yet gentle grasp. He pulled her down beside him, closer, maybe a little too close for comfort.

He smelt of cologne and alcohol and aftershave, and something familiar, something that made her only think, Len.

His warm body pressed against hers; she forced herself to sit on the edge of the couch, rather than relax into the empty space right next to him. His expression was unreadable, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He dragged a thumb down the back of her arm, pressing flat in the soft space of her elbow.

No amount of willpower could stop the ripple of goosebumps from breaking out over her skin.

“Rin,” he murmured. “If you were scared of a broken heart, then why did you break mine?”

His question hit her like an avalanche. She sat, facing away from him, her hand still clutching at her drink like a lifeline. What do you mean, what do you mean, she wanted to ask, but even she knew that was a foolish question. She knew what he meant.

Rin placed her drink down on the table next to his, looked back over her shoulder at him. He was slouched back, staring up at her from under dark lashes. A sad smile slowly rose to his lips, dumping a bucket of ice-water over her shoulders.

“Because I was selfish,” she answered him with truth, sounding awfully confident despite the doubt that clouded her mind. Her heart thudded against her rib cage. “I was selfish, only thinking of me, and not you.”

Len sat up, shoulder brushing hers. “You just didn’t think to talk to me about it?” he asked. “Didn’t think to ever reach out and—clear the air, or anything.” His hand fluttered out in front of him, demonstrating the act.

Her heart hurt. Her whole chest hurt, actually. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking away. “I’m sorry.”

Hot tears stung her eyes. She didn’t even understand why she had to cry. She was the fool, here. She had no reason to.

Len’s hand reached for hers—it was large, warm and clammy, wrapped around her own like a blanket. “Rin,” he said, his hot breath hitting the skin of her bare shoulders. “Look at me.”

She shook her head, no. It was embarrassing, shameless, ridiculous. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die. 

His hand went to her thigh as he moved further forward. Before she could even comprehend a single thing he was doing, she felt his lips brush her cheek.

Rin turned to look at him, shocked.

Len hovered near her face, lips twitching upwards. “Don’t break my heart again, Rin Kagamine.”

In one, swift movement, he had her pushed back against the couch; one hand caressing her face, the other resting on her waist. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t fight back. She knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted.

His lips grazed hers, and the contact almost seared her skin. As he went to pull away, she reached out and pulled him back by the collar, faces colliding. I won’t let you go this time.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders. They’d grown broader, stronger, with all the time that had passed. A lonely ache filled her chest. With all the time that had passed she spent running away—she could’ve just… been honest?

If she had confessed her feelings to him all those years ago, before drifting apart, would it have changed anything?

Yes, she thought. I still needed to grow.

I still needed to grow up.

Across the room, a weary Miku and proud Kaito watched the pair as they did the tongue tango. Miku reached up to link her arm with her blue-haired companion, the remnants of a smile on her lips.

He leant into her. “This wasn’t really on the agenda, was it?” he asked in a low voice.

“No,” she admitted. “But I’ll gladly take credit for it.”

“You know, he was hanging out for her all these years—and despite knowing that, I’m still surprised.”

Miku chuckled. “I expected a make up. But a make out? No.”

Kaito grinned, shifting his gaze to the girl beside him. She was glowing still, always glowing, and he was sure it wasn’t the highlighter she used. “You think we could, uh, maybe follow suit?”

Her hand skated down his arm, before floating up to pinch his cheek somewhat affectionately. The lights in her eyes danced, laughing. “Get a few more drinks in me, sweetie, before you start dropping the pick-up lines.”

Then she strutted off, and he sighed, defeated.

The heart wants what it wants.

 .

Fin

.

(epilogue):

They’d sat on that couch kissing for hours until Miku kicked them out at ten to midnight, telling them to go home with a triumphant expression.

Now they walked down the street toward the station, hand-in-hand, not entirely drunk but enough on the way there that the humid midsummer night didn’t bother them. Rin pressed her cheek against his shoulder; a while ago, maybe it would’ve been the other way around.

“I was a bit of a jerk, admittedly,” Len said.

She lifted her head to scan the side of his face. He stared ahead. She wondered what he was going on about.

“Leading you on, and then dating other girls.” He glanced down at her. “I couldn’t be mad at you, not entirely, for distancing yourself.”

Rin stared at him a moment longer, before lowering her gaze to the curb. “I hated doing it,” she mumbled into his sleeve. “But I told myself at the time it was the best thing to do.”

Len smiled. “We were both kids,” he said, slowing his pace. They stopped near the entrance to the subway station, as if there were a barrier keeping them from going any further. “We didn’t know what we were doing.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He leant down to steal another kiss from her lips; soft, longing. His eyes were filled with something odd, she hadn’t really seen before. Affection?

“My place?” he murmured against her mouth.

“Yeah,” she breathed. Her heart fluttered with child-like excitement.

They kept going, eager to make up for the time they'd lost.

#fanfiction #vocaloid #vocaloid fanfiction #rinlen #lenrin #rinxlen #lenxrin #mikuxkaito #kaitoxmiku #kaitomiku #mikukaito #kaimiku #kagamine rin #kagamine len #kaito #hatsune miku #oneshot #romance #angst #hurt/comfort

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 11

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 8,761

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

“Please, Ray, think of the child!”

“I am! Cuz this is my last few months of freedom!”

It was getting late and things were winding down now in 7th Heaven. Most of the gang from the mall had already split and there were just a few stragglers left. It may have come as a shock to find me among them. Or maybe not, given Anna and I were carpooling and my little sister had never, ever been one to call it an early night.

Rayne apparently wasn’t ready for the party to be over yet either. Much to Riku’s dismay, she had climbed up onto a table for what was probably now the sixth time tonight and was rocking her best dancing queen moves. I snorted as I watched her work it, always managing to boogie-dodge out of the way whenever Riku would make a desperate grab for her ankles. I was almost surprised Anna wasn’t up there cutting the proverbial rug with her right now like she had been earlier.

“Trying to wrangle the wife so you two can head out for the night?” I asked, stepping up beside Riku.

His shoulders slumped as he released a long suffering sigh, “Yeah, if only she’d stand still long enough.” Once again his hand swiped out and once again she evaded him with ease as she razzed her tongue at him before spinning around to shake her munny-maker in his general direction. “Now she’s just taunting me,” he grumbled.

I brought a hand up to hide my grin. “Need help?”

“Nah, I got it.” He glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. “You catching a ride home with us tonight?”

“No thanks,” I shook my head. “Anna is more alcohol than person at this point. She has no business being behind a wheel, so she’s going to need me to drive her. Will it be okay if she sleeps on your couch?”

He nodded, “Fine by me. Sure you yourself are good to drive?”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “If you’re referring to that one sip I had on the karaoke stage, that was hours ago. Trust me, I’m good.” Looking around, I then asked, “Any idea where Anna may have gotten off to?”

“Haven’t seen her for a while now, but I’m sure she’ll turn up. Maybe check with-”

“Catch me!”

Eyes going round, Riku hastily threw his arms out just in time for Rayne to land in them princess-style. Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a loud smooch on his cheek. He gave an amused huff through his nose, muttering, “Woman, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“And you’ll love every minute of it, my knight in shining armor,” she cooed, hugging him tighter and nuzzling her face into his neck.

He snerked, closing his eyes. “You’re right. Probably need my head examined.”

I felt a tug at one corner of my mouth. “Looks like you have your hands full with this one, Riku. Good luck.”

“Eh, it’s just this place. She’ll be all sobered up by the time we’re on the road. Speaking of which, we should probably get going.” Still carrying her, he started to turn to leave but then stopped and peered back at me with a smile. “Oh, and Elsa? Great job at the mic tonight. You were amazing.”

I blinked, then looked down with a weak chuckle. “No, not really.”

He gave my leg a friendly nudge with his shoe, seeing as how his hands were otherwise occupied. “Yes, really. Anyway, see you back at home.”

“Hi-ho Silver, away!” Rayne cried, jabbing a finger out and kicking up a leg.

“If you’re expecting me to gallop and whinny, sorry, not happening,” Riku said flatly as he started making his way towards the door.

“Aw, please?” she dragged out the word and I could all but hear the pout in her voice.

I hummed a soft laugh as I watched them go. I’d said it before and I’ll say it again… they really were so sweet. It was hard not to envy them and what they had, the relationship and life they’d built together. I wondered if I could ever have anything like that with someone. I mean, I’d had my chance with my ex and had blown it. I’d never felt anything even remotely like that for him in the years we’d been together. Could I if the right person came along? Or was I just…

...not built that way?

In any case, this wasn’t the time to be thinking about such things. Romance was the least of my worries at the moment. What with having made the wholly unwise and completely spur of the moment decision to turn my entire life utterly upside down, there were much more pressing matters to deal with.

Not the least of which was locating one rambunctious and currently quite heavily sauced little sister.

Now where to even start looking? Hmmm… pretty sure I’d seen her last holed up in one of the booths with Xion, heads hunched together, whispering and cackling about something. What exactly? Not entirely sure. Part of me had been a little too afraid to find out. Either way, checking in with Xion would probably be my best bet. I knew she’d been making the rounds and saying good night to everyone, but I didn’t think she’d left just yet.

It took a few minutes as the bar was still pretty jam packed, but I finally caught sight of her over by the arcade machines chatting with Olette and Hayner. She waved goodbye to the other two before turning and spotting me as I approached. “Oh hiya!” she smiled broadly. “Glad you decided to join us tonight, hope you had fun!”

I smiled back, “I did, thanks.” And I wasn’t just being polite. Oddly enough, I actually meant it. “So hey, any clue where Anna might be?”

She pursed her lips to one side, giving a low hum before at last shaking her head. “Nope! Sorry. She and I were hanging out a bit ago, but then she ran off. Haven’t seen her since. Why don’t you try calling her? You’re still phoneless, right?” She dug hers out of one of her pockets. “Here, use mine.”

I took it from her and almost dropped it when it immediately started vibrating against my palm. The screen lit up with Anna’s name and a photo selfie of her next to Xion in one of the booths here, both posing with duck face and white girl gangsta hand gestures. Speak of the devil. Apparently, the phone was receiving an incoming call from my sister. I arched an eyebrow up at Xion, to which she just laughed, “Oh yeah, we exchanged numbers. Perfect timing, huh?”

Perfecting timing indeed.

Shrugging it off, I pressed the green button and brought the device up to my ear, “Anna?”

A loud dramatic gasp came through from the other end, “Xi-Xi! Has anyone ever told you that you sound exactly like my sister?”

My eyelids drooped. “This is your sister.”

Another gasp. “Sis! Has anyone ever told you that you sound exactly like Xi-Xi doing a spot on impression of you?”

“You’d be the first,” I rolled my eyes, squinting as I took another quick glance around the pub. “Where are you? We should probably get going.”

“But I am going!” her voice slurred through the speaker. “I’m already loooooong gone, baby, woo!”

“Oh, no doubt about that,” I snerked. Xion pointed over to Meg and Tiana, indicating she wanted to catch them before they left and I nodded as she walked off. “But no, I mean going as in driving. You know, like in a car? Beep beep, vroom vroom?”

She huffed, “But that’s what I’m saying! I am in a car with all the beep beeps and vroom vrooms!”

My eyebrows knit together. “You are? With who?”

“Ray-Ray and Ri-Ri of course!” she chirped.

Anna was oh so clever and original at coming up with nicknames, if you hadn’t guessed by this point. “What? But I told Riku I’d be driving you. Like, not even five minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I caught them as they were leaving and Ri-Ri said something about that, but told him I figured I’d just snag a ride with them cuz you decided to stay a tad longer to hang out with yo peeps!”

“Oh I did, did I?” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Funny, I don’t remember saying anything like that.”

“Well, no, not in so many words, but I knew. I could tell. Sisterly intu… intu-ish-ish, uh…” she sluggishly stumbled over the word for a bit before instead settling on, “I’m psychic!”

“I see. Fine then, oh great and powerful reader of minds, what am I thinking about right this second?”

There was a pause. Then, “You’re thinking… no, wondering… how… glue doesn’t stick to the inside of its own bottle?”

“No.” Well… yes actually, since she’d brought it up, now I was. But Anna didn’t need to know that! “I’m wondering where the keys to your car are.”

“Oh!” Another pause, then some shuffling noises followed by a loud jangle. “Right here!”

I frowned, heaving a sigh through my nose. “Perfect. So then tell me, Anna, because I’d really love to know… how am I supposed to get home?”

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy! Just ask someone there to take ya. Oh oh, ask Xi-Xi! Besides, you shouldn’t be driving anyway, ya boozehound!”

“Oh my god, it was just one sip!” I facepalmed. “Look, can you just put Riku on the phone? You guys can’t have driven that far yet, I’m sure he won’t mind turning around. Besides, we shouldn’t just leave your car here overnight.”

She scoffed, “It’ll be fine, I can get it in the morning!”

“Anna, please, can you just hand the phone to-”

“What was that?” she asked before making a loud, crackly hiss through her teeth in a super obvious and super fake attempt at static noises. “Sis? You’re breaking up! I’m going through a tunnel, I can’t-” More hissing followed by a long beep, presumably Anna pressing down on what she thought was the ‘End Call’ button. It wasn’t. “...hehehe, all according to plan.”

 “You know I’m still here and can still hear you, right?” I deadpanned.

“Gah!” Another beep and the line actually went dead this time.

I pulled the phone away from my ear to narrow my eyes down at it.

What were you up to, brat?

“So!” Xion beamed as she abruptly popped back up in front of me, making me jump as my hand flew up to my chest. “Looks like you’re hitching a ride with me!”

My brow furrowed, “How did you-?”

“We better hit the road then!” she took her phone back as she slung her other arm around my shoulders, making me stagger into a walk beside her as she directed us towards the exit. “I gave the boys my keys so they could let themselves into the car, so they should already be all buckled in and good to go!”

Okay, something was beyond fishy here.

I started reaching towards her hand to remove it, “Thank you, but this isn’t necessary. Could I just maybe borrow your phone again and try Riku’s or Rayne’s numbers directly? I don’t want to be any trouble, really.”

“Nonsense!” She swatted my hand away before barreling us through the door and out into the night. “No trouble at all! I’m only too happy to drive you. Besides, with all that testosterone swimming in giggle juice stuffed into one teeny-tiny car, I’m grateful for another sane female presence. Trust me, you’re doing me a favor!”

As we made our way down the steps and into the parking lot, I tried again, “But-”

“Arr, avast ye scallywags!” Roxas suddenly jumped out in front of us from between two cars, earning a yelp from the both of us. He drunkenly wobbled into a battle stance, brandishing a broken tree branch in our faces. “Surrender yer booty or taste the cold steel of my blade, yar!”

Xion fixed him with a dull stare and crossed her arms. “Roxas, that’s a stick.”

“Wha?” Blinking groggily at his makeshift weapon a couple times, he then shouted, “Think fast!” He chucked it, missing us by miles and instead hitting some random car, setting off its alarm. Then he sniggered and spun around to make a break for it, only to trip over his own two feet and hit the asphalt hard. He hiccuped before calling out a weak, “I’m okay!” Scrambling to his feet once more, he managed to stumble across Xion’s Prius a few vehicles down and dive (well… more like fall) head first through one of the backseat windows, shoes flailing about wildly in the air for a few seconds before getting pulled inside with the rest of him.

Her lips flapped as she puffed out a breath. “Ugh, Rox is such a lightweight. At least Lea knows how to hold his hooch a little better. But see? See what I have to put up with?” She pressed her palms together and held them up under her chin, “Please, please just let me give you a ride home so you can keep those baboons from driving me bonkers.”

My lips pressed into a thin line. “...oh, alright.” Then I scraped together a small smile, “Thanks.” 

“Yes!” she pumped her fist before she resumed walking and I reluctantly followed. “And don’t mention it!”

As I gave her my address to put in her phone for directions, we walked around behind her car and I looked longingly at Anna’s Porsche, just one space over. So close, I could reach out and touch it. Ugh. Besides not being able to quite shake the feeling that I was wandering headlong into a carefully laid trap courtesy of Anna and I was beginning to strongly suspect Xion too, I’d just plain had enough of being around people for one night. My social battery was depleted and in serious need of recharging, so even something so simple as a car ride with others sounded like a lot.

Hmm... wonder what my chances of success would be if I tried to break in and hotwire Anna’s car?

Probably not the best considering when it came to grand theft auto, I didn’t have the foggiest of where to even begin. But hey, someone had to be the first to figure out how to start up a car sans keys. And that person wouldn’t have even had Youtube tutorial videos to help them through the whole process, so who knew, maybe I had a shot.

Meh. I should just suck it up and go with Xion. Ten more minutes of human interaction wasn’t going to kill me.

...famous last words.

Xion opened the door to the backseat and held out her hand to whoever was seated inside, curling and uncurling her fingers a couple times. “Keys.”

Another hand stretched out from within the car, dropping the requested item into her awaiting palm with a muted clink. As the arm was pulled back inside, it was replaced by a fiery head of hair poking out to quirk an eyebrow back at me. “El?” Lea called out. “What’re you doing here?”

Xion stepped aside so I could walk up, coming to a stop between the open door and where he was buckled in in the back. With a tiny, awkward laugh, I said, “It, uh… looks like I’ll be catching a ride with you guys tonight.”

“Oh?” he smiled up at me, but then it quickly faded. “But there’s not really space…”

“There’s not?” I frowned, bowing down a bit to get a better look into the car. Sitting next to Lea were two Roxases. Or rather… I guess one was his brother… Ventus, was it? I didn’t know them well enough yet to tell which was which. Drat, I couldn’t even remember what Roxas had been wearing thirty seconds ago when he’d tried to hold us up at stick-point. And neither one was in their work clothes, so I didn’t even have that as a clue. As for the front passenger spot, that was already occupied as well. Naminé had twisted around her seat there to give me a wave with a warm grin.

“Oopsie,” Xion singsonged behind me a touch too innocently, “looks like I miscalculated available car space!”

I turned to squint suspiciously at her. “You told me you needed another,” here I used finger quotes, “sane female presence in the car with you.”

“Yeah, another. Never said anything about you being the only one.”

My gaze shot skyward as I released a soft huff. “Well… thanks anyway, but looks like I’ll be needing Riku to come back for me after all. Could someone lend me their phone please?”

“Nah, it’s fine, don’t make him drive all the way here again,” Lea batted a hand and started reaching for his seatbelt. “El, take my seat, I’ll just walk back to my place, it’s not that far.”

“Please, I’m not letting you walk your drunk ass home in the middle of the night,” Xion said sternly.

“Yeah, we’ll just stuff your drunk ass into the trunk instead!” Roxas (or was it Ventus?) cackled beside him.

He snorted, “Like I’d even fit in there. If anyone’s going in the trunk, it’s Nams. She’s the smallest.”

She blinked back at the boys before tapping a finger to her chin, “Well, I guess if it’ll make everything easier…”

“No one’s going in the trunk, Nams, he was joking,” Xion rolled her eyes.

I decided to try again, “Now about that phone?”

“Worry not! We can make this work,” Xion smirked and I didn't like that sudden gleam in her eye. “It’ll just get a lil cozy, but that’s okay. We’re all friends here, right? Right.” And with that, her hands shot forward, shoving me into a backward stumble.

And straight into Lea’s lap.

I felt his whole body jerk and tense beneath mine. As my brain was still trying to catch up and process what exactly it was that had just happened, Xion cooed all sugary sweet like, “Watch your toesies there,” lightly kicking my feet in along with the rest of me before slamming the car door shut.

“Xion!” Lea yelled, grabbing the door handle and yanking on it several times, but it remained shut tight. “This isn’t funny! Open the door!” She just brought her face down to the window, sticking her tongue out as she waggled her fingers at him before skipping off around to the other side of the car. He banged his fist against the window glass, “Damn it!”

Oh no…

Oh.

No.

“W-what’s wrong with the door?” I asked, my breathing growing rapid as I pulled on the handle a few times myself, but still it didn’t budge. “Is it stuck?”

Lea flopped his head back against the headrest, raking his fingers through his hair as he grumbled, “Child lock.”

“Yup!” piped Xion as she plopped down into the driver's seat, buckling herself in. “Rox here has tried one too many times now to jump outta a moving vehicle while plastered.”

“Keep telling ya, I’ll be fine!” the one next to the other backseat window snapped. Guess that’d make him Roxas.

She snorted, turning the key in the ignition. “For the last time, no, you won’t. Being three sheets to the wind doesn’t make you as invulnerable as you seem to think it does, sorry bud.”

I barely heard a word that was being said, heart thudding loudly now as my fingers frantically and repeatedly pressed the window button. I was not above climbing out that way to escape! However, the window remained firmly closed and I heard the one opposite of us rolling up as well.

I caught Naminé casting me a look of concern through the rearview mirror before she glanced at Xion, “Um… maybe this isn’t really the best id-”

“Shush, it’ll be fine!” Xion brushed her off before backing the car out of the parking space. “And we’re off!”

Oh god, oh god, oh god, this was really happening. I rigidly sat as far forward on his legs as I could, self-consciously tugging at the hem of my mini skirt. I still hadn’t purchased any tights to wear under them, so there was also that. 

Worst. 

Work attire. 

Ever. 

I stopped fussing with it, instead concentrating on sitting as still as humanly possible, planting my elbows on my knees and clasping my hands over my nose, mouth, and searing cheeks.

Breathe. Breathe. Okay, Elsa, calm down. This isn’t another person you’re sitting on. It’s a chair. Just… just a chair…

A very warm, firm, shifting, breathing, distressingly person-shaped chair.

Yeah, no, that wasn’t helping.

My eyes screwed tightly shut.

Alright, okay, try this instead! Just picture like you’re a child again, sitting on Santa's lap and telling him what you want for Christmas!

...except I’d always been terrified of Santa Claus as a kid and had screamed bloody murder until they’d take me away from him.

Ugh, this wasn’t working! Were we there yet? Was it almost over? Please, oh please let us almost be back to the apartment!

I peeked one eye open and...

We weren’t. In fact, we’d just barely left the parking lot and were waiting at a light. Out of my peripheral, I saw Lea’s hands hovering about awkwardly, clearly not sure what to do with them. At last, he settled on one grabbing the edge of the seat to the left of his knees while the other fumbled about against the door, the window, the ceiling, basically trying to be anywhere but on me.

This was awful. One could all but choke on the sheer amount of awkward, it was so palpable. This was one hundred and ten percent the type of situation I would usually nopety-nope the hell out of faster than you could say ‘panic attack’. But I couldn’t! I was trapped! No way out!

Except… hold up, maybe there was one way out… it was a long shot, but...

Squeezing my eyes shut once again, I clicked my heels together three times.

There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…

I peeked one eye open.

Fudge, still here.

Maybe it’d help if I actually had ruby slippers.

Stupid, useless, non-magical, suede ankle boots. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” I heard Lea mumble behind me.

I twitched, then quickly shook my head, “Don’t be, it’s not-”

“Sweet! Light’s green!” Xion whooped before slamming the pedal to the metal.

The car leapt forward, knocking me into a backward slide along Lea’s lap, my back thumping against his chest. I heard him suck in a sharp breath and groan softly, his hand on the seat cushion gripping harder. I stammered, “S-sorry, did I hurt you?”

Voice somewhat strained, he said, “No, not at all, it’s, er… hm, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” His breath tickled against my neck and shoulder, making me shiver and my blush burn hotter. It was a wonder my whole body wasn’t glowing in the dark at this point. “Your, ah… your hair… may I ask the, um… the scent?”

Oh gosh, he must have gotten a face full of ponytail when I had been thrown up against him just now. “Snowberry? I believe is the, erm… the flavor of shampoo.” I winced. “Not flavor! D-don’t know why I said that, I don’t know what it tastes like! Not like I go around eating shampoo, who would do that? Crazy people, that’s who! I’m perfectly normal and eat normal things like-” Ugh, stop rambling! You may not eat shampoo, but you’re definitely sounding like a crazy person right now! “Nevermind. Anyway, sorry… I know it- the shampoo that is... that the smell tends to be a bit strong.”

“No, no, it’s, uh…” he cleared his throat, “... it’s nice. Very-”

There was a loud thud that jolted the whole car, making me bounce in his lap, much to my utter horror. I heard a tiny whimper from Lea as his knuckles started turning white. 

“Sorry,” Xion laughed, “pothole!”

Oh, Xion. Dear, sweet Xion… what did I ever do to you to deserve all this? Did I mess up one of your ice cream orders? Give you a sugar cone when you had wanted waffle? Or only two scoops when you had asked for three? Served you a Sea Salt that was an insultingly subpar shade of blue?

And Anna… oh-ho, trust me, this little stunt had that hellion’s name written all over it, no doubt about that. I don’t know what she was even trying to accomplish here, but when I got my hands on her… sorry, Mother, Father, but your littlest would be coming home to you in a friggin’ body bag.

“So Lea,” Ventus elbowed him in the arm abruptly, “I feel like you and I don’t get to talk much, like, ever. Figure now’s a good a time as any to fix that. So tell me, buddy, cuz I really wanna know…” his lips curled wickedly as he leaned in closer to him, eyebrows waggling, “...what’s up?”

Lea shoved him away and into Roxas, who snickered, “Ooo, sore subject, I take it? Don’t worry about it, big guy. Too much booze can do that to man and-”

A second, more forceful shove from Lea, this time knocking the twins’ heads together with a satisfying smack as he snarled, “If you two twerps don’t cram it, I’m gonna-”

“Oopsie, stop sign!” Xion announced brightly, stomping down on the brakes hard.

As the tires squealed to a stop, I flew forward, but was saved by Lea’s arm instinctively latching around my waist. He breathed a sigh of relief, but then his muscles stiffened. “S-sorry,” he hastily removed his hand from my hip… only to rest it on my bare thigh instead. Instantly realizing his mistake, another louder, more panicked, “Sorry!” as he jerked the hand away, electing to jam it under his leg instead.

One had to wonder what the boiling point of human was, because at the rate my head-to-toe blush was going, I had to be fast approaching it.

“Onward!” Xion cheerfully boomed, flooring it once more, flinging me back and starting the whole cycle anew.

The rest of the trip probably lasted only a grand total of five more minutes. However, it felt like five centuries, with a decade tacked on for every sudden acceleration, sharp turn or jerky stop. I swear Xion was purposely seeking out every last dang bump and ditch in the stupid road. I never even realized there were so many! If I hadn’t known any better, I’d have suspected her of doubling back to hit some of them twice.

Finally, after what seemed like an absolute gut-wrenching eternity, she mercifully sang out a chipper, “Here we are!” as we pulled into the parking lot for my apartment complex.

Oh thank goodness!

As we came to what had to be the smoothest stop the whole ride, I was already tugging on the door handle restlessly, impatient for Xion to release the infernal child lock. “Alright, alright, hold your horses,” she snerked, taking her sweet time to tap a button on her armrest. There was a click beside me and with one final pull of the handle, the car door popped open. In the blink of an eye, I was gone.

Road Runner, eat your heart out.

“Elsa, wait!” Lea called out behind me. 

I was feeling so humiliated, so mortified, so wanting to be anywhere but here in that exact second that nothing could have stopped me. Not hell or high water. Not the zombie apocalypse. Not an alien invasion. Not the inevitable heat death of the universe snuffing out all life and existence as we know it everywhere. Nothing.

Well… almost nothing.

Turns out the one thing that could stop me was a clattering sound, followed by a, “Motherfu-” then a heavy tumbling thud accompanied by a pained grunt, all topped off at the end with a tiny, almost inaudible “Ow.”

I froze a mere few inches short of the building entrance, my hand already reaching for the door - aka my ticket out of this nightmare - and haltingly glanced back over my shoulder. There Lea was, halfway out the car, back sprawled flat against the pavement, eyes squeezed shut in a grimace, feet still up inside the vehicle where they’d somehow gotten all tangled in the seatbelt.

...this… dork…

Despite every fiber of my being still telling me to run, something in me found the will to resist. Instead I turned and slowly, reluctantly walked back, coming to a stop beside him and squatting down, knees together and arms folded over them. “...you okay?”

His eyes snapped open and he blinked up at me a couple times, surprised to see me there. Then he scrabbled to get up, failed miserably due to the seatbelt predicament and instead just ended up flopping about like a hooked fish. Finally, feet still up above his head, he just settled for rolling over onto one side, propping himself up on an elbow while the other hand went to his head with a soft hiss. “Yeah, nothing bruised ‘sides my ego.” He paused, peeking at me out of the corner of his eye. “...are we?”

I stared blankly at him, slightly tipping my head to one side.

“Okay, that is,” he elaborated. “Please believe me, I had nothing to do with this, had zero clue what the, erm… seating arrangements were gonna be.” I looked away, feeling a now all too familiar warmth creeping back into my face as the corner of my lips pulled down. He was quick to add, “And make no mistake, the culprit will not go unpunished. Heads will roll. There will be repercussions, young lady!” he directed the last threat in a yell back towards the car.

“You’re not my real dad!” Xion shouted back and it was followed by a chorus of giggles from the rest of Prius’s occupants.

Lea hung his head and heaved a sigh. “I swear, I get no respect.”

I shifted one arm to prop my chin in my palm, fingers hiding a growing grin despite myself. I nodded, “...yeah. You and I... we’re okay.” I then turned my head to shoot a small glare back towards my apartment building, “I can’t say the same though for my own little troublemaker. Yours didn’t act alone and had an accomplice, one who’ll soon be reaping the excruciating consequences of her actions.”

“I pity anyone fool enough to provoke your wrath,” he chuckled.

“Trust me, I know how to bring the pain. She will rue the day.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about that.” There was a thunk as one of Lea’s feet suddenly fell free. It seemed Naminé, feeling sorry for the big lug, had sat up on her knees and flipped around, leaning over the back of her seat so she could disentwine his ankles from the impromptu snare. With one down, her fingers set to work on unwinding the other one. “Thanks Nams! Looks like I have a new bestie, cuz my current ones suck and/or are not long for this world.”

The car’s engine revved and abruptly rolled forward a few feet, dragging Lea with it. “Xion!” he snapped and the wheels screeched to a stop.

“Ven did it!” Xion blurted out, voice bubbling with laughter.

“Wha- Did not!”

“Don’t lie, I saw you,” an identical voice could be heard, tone colored by a smirk.

“You’re the liar, Rox!”

Again, the Prius started to inch forward. Reacting on impulse, my hands darted out and latched onto Lea’s wrists. That combined with a now distraught Naminé working feverishly to finish untangling the seatbelt finally had his other leg pulling loose. He was fast to hop up to his feet and as I straightened up to join him, he scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “Heh, thanks! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a couple of ex-friends to brutally slaughter.”

And with that, he charged off in a blur after the car. Cackles and jeers from within echoed out into the night, mingled with the tires shrieking as Xion burned rubber to stay ahead of him. I shook my head, deciding to leave them to it as I turned my back on the scene and made my way inside.

I was still a little rattled from that whole… ahem, experience. My cheeks had yet to make a full recovery, still redder than molten magma and three times as hot. But hey, that was an improvement over the ten times as hot they’d been during the entire car ride, so… progress! Awesome. Not to mention I felt physically and emotionally exhausted and was pretty sure at least five years had been taken off my life. I was just about ready to curl up in bed and hibernate until next Spring.

But first I had a certain sister to march to the gallows.

After climbing several flights of stairs to reach the door to my apartment, I unlocked it and stepped inside to find the room dark. My hand groped about the wall for a second before locating and flicking the switch, light flooding the space.

“Do you have any idea what time it is you’re coming home, missy?”

Startled, I spun around to find Rayne seated at the dining table, arms crossed, eyes stern, and steaming mug resting atop a coaster in front of her. Yeesh, at this rate, my heart wasn’t going to hold out much longer. Hadn’t the poor, defenseless organ suffered enough scares for one evening? Eyelids drooping, I said, “I don’t know… maybe ten minutes after you got home?”

Her lips pursed to one side. “...touché.”

“So how long have you just been sitting here in the dark like a weirdo?” I asked as I dropped my keys onto the table and moved to the fridge, opening it up.

She shrugged and grinned, “Not long. Maybe a minute or two. Thought it really sold the whole vibe I was going for.”

“Oh, it did,” I pulled out a water bottle, nudging the door shut behind me as I unscrewed the cap. “Nice mother voice, by the way. That I’m-not-mad-just-disappointed tone of yours is really coming along quite beautifully.”

“Aw, thanks!”

This whole being her parenting test dummy thing was starting to get a bit out of hand. But eh, it sort of grows on you after a while.

“So where’s Riku? Surprised he’s not out here too, enabling your neurosis,” I quirked an eyebrow as I brought the water to my lips.

Rayne waved a dismissive hand, “Brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed.”

“And Anna?” Was kind of shocked the flat was as quiet as it was right now, given that the crimson tornado that was my sister was supposedly lurking about somewhere.

As if on cue, there was a rumbling, disembodied snuffle, followed by a mumbled, “...pink yetis… fluffy unicycles…”

She jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “Passed out stone cold on the couch like the absolute lush she is.”

Setting the plastic bottle down on the table, I went over to the sofa to discover Anna flopped there in an undignified heap, hair already knotted into a bedheaded rat’s nest, arms snuggling a pillow close as she snored and murmured more incoherent gibberish.

So even evil criminal masterminds looked all sweet and innocent while sleeping. Go figure.

“So you gonna fill me in?” Rayne asked, drawing my attention back to her.

My brow furrowed. “On what?”

She blew on her beverage before taking a careful sip, shooting me a deadpan look. “On whatever happened that has your cheeks lit up like a pair of stoplights and has you looking ready to strangle your lil sis.”

“Stopl-?!” I scoffed, turning my head to one side. Come on, face, you’re weak! Get your act together already. “My cheeks are fine and I most certainly do not want to strangle her.”

“Tell that to your hands.”

I looked down and said hands were clawed and halfway to Anna’s throat.

Hehe… how did those get there?

Hastily snatching them back to hide behind me, I just gave Rayne a feeble chuckle by way of answer. She patted the chair beside her, “Sit.”

I hesitated before doing as I was told. As I lowered myself into the seat, I pulled my hair free of its ponytail, my anxious fingers combing through the soft, platinum strands. My little talk with Lea after the whole ordeal had actually been rather comforting and an odd calm had managed to settle over me in the minutes since. I say ‘odd’ because it was me after all, the PanicBot 3000. However, now that I was running over the events again in my head and trying to figure out how to best put them into words, I could feel that calm fraying at the edges and beginning to unravel. 

Gnawing on my lower lip, I began, “So, you know... cars… right?”

Oh excellent. Off to a superb start here. Simply smashing.

She gave me a dull stare. “...I’m aware of the concept, yes.”

My hands, unable to keep still, moved to haphazardly weave my hair into a loose braid. “And you know how they have, uh… limited seating?” She merely gave a patient nod and here I struggled, feeling my cheeks crank up the heat again.

Damn it, face, what did we just talk about?! 

What little poise I had left suddenly ripped to tatters like tissue paper and I snapped, “Well I had to get home somehow, didn’t I? And you’d left and Anna’d left and, and the keys had left! I tried to get them to come back but Anna was too busy talking about glue and making static noises and- ugh, she can be such a- anyway, I considered hotwiring her car, obviously, but had to toss out that idea due to lack of tools or experience or, you know, actually knowing how to hotwire, so when Xion offered, I… well, there really was no other choice, was there? But there were no more- I shouldn’t have been surprised, really, I just knew something was up and oh-ho, you can bet she and Anna planned it all, but still, that doesn’t change the fact that I had to sit somewhere and there was really no other alternatives, I mean… okay, Xion? Driving. The twins? Twigs. Uncomfortable. And Naminé? So small, I would have crushed her. So, I guess, by process of elimination, when… when you really think about it, Lea was just the just most logical choice! I mean, I didn’t want to, I didn’t even know what was- not until it had already- and then once I was… ya know, there, Xion, she… she just kept stopping and starting and stopping and, and hitting every- it was like a damn bouncy castle in there! I wanted to leave, oh dear god, you have no idea how much I just wanted to leave, but I couldn’t because apparently Roxas likes to pull a friggin’ Superman or whatever on the highway whenever he’s-”

Rayne clamped a hand over my mouth, silencing me except for the loud, rapid breaths through my nose. Her eyes squinted at me. “So… cliff notes version? Xion gave you a ride home.”

Her palm still effectively muzzling me, I simply nodded.

“...but she already had a full car and there were no seats left?”

I nodded again, hands twisting and tugging on my now complete, if somewhat sloppy braid.

“So you had to sit,” here a slow smirk curled her lips, “on Lea.”

My head bobbed frantically now and I was jerking on the braid so hard, I was afraid I‘d rip it clean out of my scalp. 

She snerked. Then spluttered. Then busted up laughing, nearly falling out of her chair.

...so not cool.

I kicked her in the shin, shutting her up just as Anna shot up on the couch, disturbed from her slumber by all the noise. My sister looked around, all bleary-eyed and slack-jawed, doing her best zombie impersonation. Don’t think she’d quite made a full exit out of dreamland. She groggily turned her head towards us, smacked her lips and mumbled, “What’s the sum of pizza divided by the square root of sandwiches?”

We both blinked at her before I shrugged and Rayne shook her head.

“Chartreuse,” she enunciated slowly and with an air of authority. Then she flumped back down, snoring thunderously once more.

Rayne began to snicker again, more softly this time and I shoved away the hand that was still acting as a jury-rigged gag, huffing, “I fail to see what’s so funny about all this.”

Wiping the corners of her eyes, she tried to sober her expression but only ended up cracking up again, saying, “You gave Lea a lap dance!”

Just about every last ounce of blood in my body flooded up into my face. “Wha- I- He- I most certainly did not!”

Her hand now went to pat my shoulder, “Okay, okay, sweetie, just answer a few quick and simple questions for me. Were you or were you not in his lap?”

“Well, yes, technically, but-”

“And did you not dance in said lap?”

“No, I did no such-”

“Fine,” her hands came up in a placating gesture, “allow me to retract and rephrase the question. Was there not the shifting and moving of your body in his lap? Answer truthfully now,” she tacked on quickly as I opened my mouth, “for I do believe the term ‘bouncy castle’ was used earlier.”

My teeth clicked shut as I glowered at her. “...well, yes, I suppose there may have been some… inadvertent shifting, but-”

“And,” she pressed on gleefully, “is not ‘the moving and shifting of one’s body’ an acceptable, working definition of the word… dancing?”

I narrowed my eyes at her and said nothing.

She smugly relaxed back in her seat. “Let the record show the defendant is speechless. I rest my case.”

“...I really hate you right now,” I grumbled, snatching up my water bottle again and unscrewing the lid.

“Love ya too, sweetpea,” Rayne winked and blew me a kiss. She then fell silent for a second, eyeing me thoughtfully as I took a sip. Then, “You know Lea used to be a big ol’ man-slut?”

I choked.

Nope, still can’t breathe water yet.

Coughing and wheezing as I put my drink back down, I struggled to get out, “Excuse me?”

“Oh yeah,” she plonked her elbows on the table, chin nestled in her palms as she smiled big at me. “You know the type. Smooth talker, real charmer, taking a different girl back to his place every night. It was almost kind of amazing watching him work. He had it down to an art form, but not like in a sleazy douchebag way… he just loved the ladies and the ladies loved him, I suppose.”

“...okay?” Wasn’t quite sure why she was telling me this.

“And when you and him got left alone in the booth earlier tonight? Well there was a time not too long ago that the, ah… discourse between you two? Would have ended up a lot less vertical and a little more horizontal, if ya know what I’m saying,” she waggled her eyebrows at me.

I scoffed, “Please. I don’t care how much of a ladykiller he was, this is still me we’re talking about here.”

She gave a low hum at that. “True. Talk about unstoppable force meets immovable object. Now I’m actually pretty curious about how that all would’ve really played out.” Her shoulders shrugged, “Anyway, when he went back to college again, he decided to hang up his casanova hat. He really wanted to give his education a fair shake this time around, which to him meant cutting out all his vices and distractions, including women. None of us took him seriously at first, but he’s surprised us all by sticking to it. For over a year now, he’s been on his best behavior. A total priest.”

Huh. I do remember when he was telling me about going back to school, he did say something about dropping old habits… I guess maybe dating had been one of them?

Rayne gave an abrupt, tiny snerk, muffling it behind her knuckles. A crease formed between my eyebrows, “What?”

She shook her head, “Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to laugh. You just, heh… looked a smidge disappointed there for a second.”

Annnnd there my cheeks went again. I swear, like a couple of furnaces, they were. Averting my gaze with a scowl, I said, “I’m not- ugh! I... was just trying to figure out where all this was coming from, why you felt the need to share.”

“Ah.” Her eyes crinkled and I got the feeling she didn’t quite fully believe me. Whatever, if seeing things that weren’t there made her happy, then more power to her. Let the crazy woman have her delusions. “I just wanted to give you some context. Knowing all that about Lea now, does it come as any real surprise then that Xion decided to have some fun at his expense tonight by testing his resolve and literally dropping a cute girl in his lap that he obviously has a little crush on?”

Those furnaces exploded into a fiery wreckage. “He- he absolutely does not!” I take it back. The crazy woman needs to have her delusions confiscated, no good can come from them in her demented hands! “This isn’t kindergarten, please! He hardly even knows me.”

“That’s the thing about crushes, boo. You don’t have to really know the person,” she flashed a cheshire grin and poked me in the nose, “just think they’re a total cutie-patootie! And trust me, the minute those sweet, candy lips of yours found their way to his on that fateful day, that poor boy was a goner.”

I rolled my eyes, “Oh shush, you’re just being silly now.”

“Am not. In fact, betcha that’s why Anna was Xion’s cohort in all of this. She wanted to play cupid.”

“No, Anna was just sowing chaos and mayhem like the demon imp she is because that’s what Anna does best,” I shot my sister an accusatory glance. In response, she defended herself most eloquently by snoring louder. Returning my attention to Rayne, I sighed, “Seriously, Lea doesn’t see me that way. We’re just friends.”

“You’d be singing a different tune if you saw the way he was looking at you during karaoke,” she lilted playfully.

Voice flat, I said, “What, like I was some kind of tone-deaf walrus?”

She gave a soft tch, “Girl, don’t even. Self-deprecating isn’t a good color on you. You crushed it, and I mean crushed it. And you know I never sugarcoat things, so you know I’m telling the truth! But no, I was talking specifically about during the second verse of the song.”

“The second…?” I frowned, thinking back. “...you mean the part where I got embarrassed by the lyrics and closed my eyes?”

Rayne nodded, “Mm-hm. And do you know what else you were doing?”

“Um…” Was this a trick question? “...singing?”

“And?” she prompted. I just stared at her blankly. Both eyebrows shot up her forehead and she smirked. “Oh pumpkin, you really have no idea, do you? Well, allow me to enlighten you. You had yourself a cute lil shimmy going, complete with swaying hips, a seductive crook of your finger, and a hand gliding up and down your thigh as you sang,” her voice got theatrically husky, “feel your way.”

I grew paler and my eyes more round with every word. “I- I did not! I w-would have known if- I wouldn’t j-just…” The words died on my tongue as she just simply nodded slyly at me. My mouth went dry as my face scrunched up in disbelief, my hands wrenching at my braid once more. “...did I? I mean, I… I was picturing the scene from the movie in my head, pretending I was there instead of making a fool of myself in front of a room full of people. I guess maybe I was just, I don’t know... getting into character?”

She shrugged, “Whatever you were doing, it certainly caused Lea to experience some, uh, heh… minor technical difficulties.”

Oh gosh, and here I’d thought the car ride was bad enough, but this? This was just the cherry on top. Not to mention the Kissident or... fudge, I just couldn't stop humiliating myself in front of this guy, could I? “I was… probably just making him awkward and uncomfortable, that’s all. But he really is always so nice about everything.” I stared down at my fingers, fidgeting with them now. “Do you know what he actually said after karaoke? He said I should try looking into singing professionally… which is absolutely ridiculous, of course, but still, it was sweet of him to say.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice the oh so subtle attempt to change the subject there, sugarcube,” she gave a wry harrumph into her mug. I just avoided her gaze. Can you blame me? I just wanted to put this ludicrous and baseless topic behind us already. “But I’ll let it slide. And that’s actually not a bad idea.”

My eyes blinked at her. “You’re joking. Become a successful singer? Please, one has better odds of winning the lottery while being struck by lightning and hit by a rogue meteor at the same time!”

“And who said anything about becoming a career singer? There are other ways of putting that silver voice of yours to work. Like, for example... musicals. You know, as in play acting. Now don’t give me that look, it’s not like I’m not talking Broadway or nothing… not yet anyway. But there’s plenty of small theaters out there that would kill to have a nightingale like you on retainer.”

I huffed out a tiny snort through my nose. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Like, oh say, I don’t know… my crippling anxiety, crushing stage fright, and, ya know… absolutely zero acting experience?”

She folded her arms under her chest, “And aren’t you forgetting something? Like, oh say, I don’t know… summer camp musicals? And how you always just freaking slayed at all the lead parts?”

...oh wow, I actually had forgotten all about those. Camp felt like ages ago by now. Almost nothing more than a distant, fading dream. Frowning up at the ceiling, I murmured, “The musicals… were one of my favorite things about camp. They were the one place where I didn’t have to be my awkward, scared, pathetic self, that I could pretend to be someone else completely. It was an escape, it… helped.” Then I slowly shook my head, “But that’s different. It was a long time ago, I was a kid, I… I couldn’t be like that today.”

“Couldn’t you?” her head tilted slightly. “You really seemed to get into it with the karaoke. You said it yourself, you got into character without even realizing it. It was like the very spirit of Sandra D had possessed you.” She smiled, closing her eyes, “I think you might be a natural, cupcake.”

...me? A natural? Yeah right! There was no way, not in a million years! …I mean, unless… maybe… maybe if-

I shook my head again, more rapidly this time, banishing any such preposterous notions from my mind before scooting my chair out and rising to my feet. “Clearly you’re still fake drunk. You should really get to work sleeping it off.  I’ll be heading to bed now myself. Good night,” I said firmly. End of discussion. Topic closed. I grabbed my water bottle and marched off towards the door to my room.

Of all the silly, crazy, absurd-

“You know I’m right,” she called out brightly after me. “And hey… any verdict on Anna yet?”

I paused long enough to shoot the girl in question a sour look over my shoulder. She mumbled something in her sleep, rolled over and brazenly flung one leg up over the back of the couch. My lips pressed together into a thin line.

“...let her sleep. I’ll murder her in the morning.”

Author’s Note: The takeaway this chapter? Xion and Anna are evil xP Despite their questionable methods however, they DO mean well... I think xD But oh gosh, I do so love to torture Elsa! And by extension, Lea too, tho it’s a very different kind of torture xD But I think I managed to wrap up that lil car misadventure sweetly enough by the end of it! And hmmmmm, those were some interesting things Ray was saying... very, veeeeeeeery interesting...

Next chapter, what will Elsa do with these new thoughts buzzing around her head? Does our dear fire boi actually have a crush on her? Or is Ray just talking crazy from all them baby hormones making her loopy? And will Anna live to see the blessed light of day ever again? How DOES glue not stick to the inside of its own bottle? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

#kingdom hearts #frozen #elsa #axel #fanfiction #lea #fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfiction #frozen fanfiction #kh fanfiction #kh fanfic #frozen fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfic #axelsa #fluff #romcom #slow burn #kh3 #my writing #ice cream and fire oven pizza #rare pair #crossover pairing #humor #snark

[ezragold]

With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Happy last-day-of-Pegoryu-week! Let’s celebrate by reading... day 2′s prompt... No one ever said I was good at preparing things, okay. AO3 link: [here]

Day 2: First Date

Title: With a Little Help from My Friends

Rating: Teen

Summary: Ryuji has successfully asked Akira out! Now if only he could figure out something special for them to do. All of his ideas just feel like their every day routine, and he’s pulling his hair out trying to come up with a way to make it special. All of the thieves seem to have their own ideas of the perfect date, 90% of which are entirely unhelpful, as Ryuji soon realizes.

[ THURSDAY, 6:50PM ]

crossbonez is online

crossbonez has entered The Dungeon of Unspeakable Acts

crossbonez: GUYS I NEED HELP

crossbonez: ALSO WTF WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL NAME

palette-cleanser: There’s no need to yell about it.

crossbonez: YOU CAN’T HEAR ME SMARTASS

killerqueen: Futaba renamed it and I can’t figure out how to change it back. What’s wrong?

memejed: me! muahaha!!!! you’ll never figure out how to change it back!

memejed: boo makoto types too fast :(

palette-cleanser: Futaba, naturally.

palette-cleanser: Oh.

memejed: lmaooooo

crossbonez: ok ok is akira in this chat??

yougimmethecrepes: I mean technically

yougimmethecrepes: but I think he’s had this channel muted for like a month

killerqueen: Understandable.

crossbonez: o sick

crossbonez: OK SO I ASKED HIM OUT AND I NEED ADVICE

yougimmethecrepes: OMG RYUJI

memejed: GHIDNDOSKFHSKX WHAAAAT

killerqueen: !

yougimmethecrepes: DID HE SAY YES??

palette-cleanser: My most heartfelt congratulations!

crossbonez: of course he said yes wtf guys

crossbonez: why wouldn’t he, i’m a catch

memejed: so’s a big ol slimy fish

memejed: its perspective

crossbonez: can we ban her?

killerqueen: She’s the room admin.

memejed: IM ADMIN MY CITY NOW

memejed: HECK how do u type so much faster than me????

crossbonez: OH MY GOD CAN WE FOCUS ON ME PLEASE

palette-cleanser: something tells me you wouldn’t allow us the chance to do anything different.

yougimmethecrepes: go ahead Ryuji, what’s up?

crossbonez: i didn’t think about what we should do on the date so i kinda panicked when he asked and told him i had everything taken care of but i don’t

crossbonez: ive never taken care of anything in my life

crossbonez: please help yall know im not smart

yougimmethecrepes: omg THAT’S what ur worried about??? HOE ur best friend is a dating expert. I gotchu

crossbonez: lmfao ann youve never been on a date

yougimmethecrepes: maybe not

yougimmethecrepes: but i have seen so many romcoms

crossbonez: oooooo my god Kill me

crossbonez: wait holy shit have any of you even been on a date before

crossbonez: NOW YOU ALL STOP TYPING

crossbonez: this is the worst i hate my life

yougimmethecrepes: yusuke if you say anything about painting my nude as a date i’ll block you

palette-cleanser: There was that time when Ann came to the old studio in order for me to paint her portrait.

palette-cleanser: It was already half-written when you sent that.

yougimmethecrepes: OHHH MY GOD

palette-cleanser: I didn’t want to just let the reply go to waste.

yougimmethecrepes: BLOCKED

palette-cleanser: :(

killerqueen: Okay.

killerqueen: I’ll DM you, Ryuji.

crossbonez: oh thank god

[ THURSDAY, 7:04 PM ]  

[ killerqueen has sent you a message! ]

killerqueen: Firstly,

killerqueen: good for you, asking out Akira! That was really brave. How did it go, if that’s not too intrusive?

crossbonez: fine I think?? morgana kept cockblocking me but he got bored of watching us watch bad movies and left so

crossbonez: i just kinda

crossbonez: asked

crossbonez: and he said yeah

crossbonez: so now im dead and going thru w the date is my hell

killerqueen: Okay, relax. Obviously he wouldn’t have said yes to the date if he wasn’t already interested, so you already have that going for you! The worst part is done.

killerqueen: All you have to do now is think of something special for the two of you to do together.

crossbonez: yeah that’s basically the part where my brain stops

killerqueen: Fair. What’s your budget?

crossbonez: uhhhhhh

crossbonez: uhhhhhhhhhhh

killerqueen: Ryuji.

crossbonez: is free an option

killerqueen: Oh, god. Okay.

killerqueen: I didn’t realize you hadn’t planned for this in… any capacity.

crossbonez: OF COURSE I HAVENT ITS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

crossbonez: I DIDNT THINK OF THE MONEY THING OK

crossbonez: I WAS SORT OF FOCUSED ON NOT THROWING UP ON HIM AS I ASKED

killerqueen: Message received.

killerqueen: I’ll see if there’s anything cheap going on in the city this weekend.

crossbonez: thank you ugh

crossbonez: was this a bad idea

killerqueen: Asking out Akira? No, of course not.

crossbonez: sigh

killerqueen: Lying to Akira about having the entire thing prepared and planned out? Yes, without a doubt.

crossbonez: COOL THANKS MOM 

crossbonez: GOD

[ crossbonez left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:29PM ]

[ palette-cleanser sent you a message! ]

palette-cleanser: Are you still taking advice for your date?

crossbonez: the answer is technically yes but i can’t say i’ve reached the point in my life where i’m ready to take dating advice from you

palette-cleanser: I shall try and keep my advice more general, then.

crossbonez: just don’t say the word beauty

palette-cleanser: You should consider the benefit of surrounding yourselves with beautiful things. I can only imagine a relationship increasing in intensity when the couple is surrounded by overwhelming beauty.

palette-cleanser: In my defense, my reply was half-written when you posted yours.

crossbonez: what the hell would overwhelming beauty even be man

crossbonez: am i sposed to find out which flower gives him boners like what am i doing here

palette-cleanser: that is up to you! And Akira, I suppose.

palette-cleanser: I was, of course, referring to your beautiful surroundings being up to you. Akira getting an erection is less-so in your hands.

palette-cleaner: …I did not mean for that to become a double-entendre but I suppose that’s also appropriate to your situation.

crossbonez: hoo boy you are this close to my block list lemme tell ya

palette-cleanser: Please don’t, my contact list is very short as it is.

palette-cleanser: Back to the topic at hand,

crossbonez: yeah plz

palette-cleanser: What are some things that Akira finds beautiful?

crossbonez: man i don’t know

crossbonez: uhh

crossbonez: good coffee

crossbonez: big ass cheeseburgers

crossbonez: cats probably

crossbonez: hes got a risette poster in his room but i think that’s less because shes hot and more because someone gave it to him and he was too nice to throw it out

palette-cleanser: None of that sounds particularly beautiful…

crossbonez: OH WOW DOES IT NOT

crossbonez: REALLY

palette-cleanser: There is no need to raise your typeface at me.

crossbonez: sjdjcickgmsoakfb

palette-cleanser: ?

crossbonez: nothing dont worry abt it

crossbonez: im gonna go see if i can buy something beautiful for ¥200 

palette-cleanser: Many beautiful things in life are free.

crossbonez: you got an example to go with that inspirational quote?

crossbonez: duuuude?

palette-cleanser: I appear to be losing connection

crossbonez: oh my god dude

palette-cleanser: I can hardly read what you’re writing

crossbonez: thats not how that would even work

crossbonez: i cant tell if ur trolling me or not

[ palette-cleanser has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:49PM ] 

[ yougimmethecrepes has replied to your message! ]

crossbonez: plz tell me ur just invisible

crossbonez: ur my one last hope and god is that saying something about how my standards have fallen

yougimmethecrepes: doing homework

yougimmethecrepes: you still peeing your pants over date night?

crossbonez: you still willing to give bad advice?

yougimmethecrepes: imagine me swiping all of my school work off my desk onto my floor because if my math grade didn’t ride on this I would have done that

crossbonez: aight

yougimmethecrepes: also my advice is fantastic shut up

yougimmethecrepes: okay, lets start easy. What’s the budget?

crossbonez: im in high school and not a part time model

crossbonez: my budget is negative

yougimmethecrepes: ooooh

yougimmethecrepes: got it

yougimmethecrepes: arcade? you can just use small change and stuff

crossbonez: we go there ALL THE TIME thats not a date

crossbonez: that’s like going to the ramen shop or something

yougimmethecrepes: uh……batting cages? Movie?

crossbonez: i cant ask him on a date and then just do shit we do normally! how is that a date???

yougimmethecrepes: How is it not a date?? You guys always have fun doing that, how is it less fun on a date

yougimmethecrepes: OH WAIT NO I got it

yougimmethecrepes: bathhouse

crossbonez: shut up no

yougimmethecrepes: hey, it’s not my fault you gave this absolutely no thought whatsoever

crossbonez: UGH I KNOW

crossbonez: WHY IS THIS HARD

yougimmethecrepes: I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE

yougimmethecrepes: YOU’RE MAKING THIS A PROBLEM

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 8:25 PM ] 

[ memejed sent you a message! ]

crossbonez: no

memejed: before you say anything

memejed: jdcjdjnfdkdkf

memejed: dammit how do all of you type so fast

memejed: it’s like I don’t even know myself any more

memejed: is it my tiny hands

crossbonez: i do not want dating advice from you

memejed: well then it’s a good thing I don’t have any for you then ISNT IT

memejed: I just wanted to tell you that Akira just got home and he’s smiling a lot and it’s gross and weird and most likely your fault, so

crossbonez: oh that’s

crossbonez: nice to hear thank you jhgjfyjuh

memejed: he just told sojiro about the date and sojiro offered to grab him condoms hahAHAAHAH

crossbonez: OH MY GOD

crossbonez: DONT TELL ME THAT SHIT

memejed: IM ACTUALLY GONNA CHOKE LOLLL

crossbonez: I HOPE SO

memejed: >:(

memejed: I don’t even get why youre so nervous he’s obviously out of his mind happy to go out with you

memejed: whatever you guys do he’ll be down

memejed: just don’t do any stupid shit like try and show off or act like a tool

memejed: which I realize may seem daunting for you

memejed: but I believe u may have it in you, maybe

crossbonez: I just have no idea what to do without us doing the same shit as always

memejed: whats wrong with doing the stuff you guys always do? Routine is comfy

memejed: comfort is the enemy of anxiety

memejed: well, comfy, and a good pair of sweatpants

memejed: *and valium

crossbonez: you dont think he would mind doing shit we do all the time?

memejed: oh my god are ALL boys as stupid as you??? how has the species survived for so long

memejed: just hold his hand or something and he’d let you push him in front of the subway!! Like, that probably shouldn’t be your go to option, but just

memejed: he ALREADY likes you. you don’t need to impress him or anything

memejed: consider yourself lucky, because like, idk how you swung that

crossbonez: I agree with you too much to get mad at that

crossbonez: wow

crossbonez: akira agreed to go out with me, you gave me advice that wasnt steaming dog shit

crossbonez: maybe i should buy a lottery ticket lmao

memejed: LMAO ur luck stat isn’t THAT high yet

memejed: see if sojiro comes through w the condoms first

crossbonez: okay and NOW im leaving

memejed: BE SAFE!!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 9:22 PM ]  

[ HaruOkumura sent you a message! ]

HaruOkumura: Good, you’re still online! 

crossbonez: hahaha what happened to ur screenname?

HaruOkumura: The company’s social media adviser suggested I change it for professional purposes………..

crossbonez: lame

HaruOkumura: Yes apparently “BigBangIsPeople” is not an appropriate username for the incoming CEO of Okumura Foods.

HaruOkumura: I thought it was funny :(

HaruOkumura: But anyway! I’m glad you’re still online! Makoto texted me and told me about yours and Akira’s date and I wanted to say congratulations and I’m so happy for you!

crossbonez: thanks! tell makoto to quit snitchin tho

HaruOkumura: Will do! I just wanted to talk because Makoto said you were very stressed out and seemed sort of unprepared

crossbonez: im okay now i think

crossbonez: futaba helped me out

crossbonez: weirdly

crossbonez: i mean im still sweating all over myself and the idea of actually meeting up with akira for the date in question makes me want to gag but :) im fine

HaruOkumura: oh my :o

HaruOkumura: Have you decided what the two of you will do?

crossbonez: yeeaaahhhh i got some ideas i think?

HaruOkumura: I do as well!! Would you like to hear them?

crossbonez: hey i am always up for not thinking

HaruOkumura: That’s great!! Okay, what is your budget currently?

crossbonez: gkhskdfkjlghlrihvoirhgiu

crossbonez: kjghsiuergtiughpijiuprughtuislrhgiulth

HaruOkumura: Uhm?

crossbonez: I THINK IM GOOD LMAO THX HARU

HaruOkumura: Oh youre welcome! Let us know how it goes!

crossbonez: yeah sure if i dont die first!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:41 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: Hey

JokersWild: I know youre probably asleep because it’s like fuck o clock in the morning and why wouldn’t you be

JokersWild: But I cant sleep because I made myself some antianxiety coffee when I got home haha

JokersWild: (futaba calls it estresso but I can’t call it that because it’s so clever it makes me mad I didn’t think of it first)

JokersWild: but I had a really good time tonight

JokersWild: and you seemed kind of worried all night so I wanted you to know that

JokersWild: and idek if you were worried because of us(?) or if there was something else going on and now I just seem like kind of an asshole for assuming it was about me

JokersWild: but whether it was or it wasn’t I had fun

JokersWild: and

JokersWild: I’m really happy you asked me out

JokersWild: and just…… you don’t need advice from anyone on how to like

JokersWild: woo me yknow?

JokersWild: I had notifications turned off but the number of messages in the group chat kept ticking up so I lurked for a second

JokersWild: I don’t know what anyone ended up telling you but you didn’t need it

JokersWild: you don’t have to impress me. I ALREADY like you.

JokersWild: so, that’s that

JokersWild: this coffee is very strong and obviously my inhibitions are non existent right now so I’m going to bed before this turns into a confession

JokersWild: or more of one

JokersWild: lets, like, do this again? I want to keep doing this with you

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:54 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: also oh my god thank you for not freaking the fuck out when that condom fell out of my jacket I SWEAR TO YOU I did not put it there and when I find out who did I am going to unmake them

JokersWild: okay goodnight

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

#pegoryuweek2018 #pegoryu #akiryu #fic: criminal mischief #fandom: persona 5 #fandom: persona #p5

[rue-by-another-name]

“Love Me Do” -Part 2 h.s. a.u.

Part 1 

-----

-----

Your first day on the job, Harry felt as though he was doing nothing but babysitting. It was almost as if everything you did, he had to walk behind you, both hands out as if directing a toddler taking her first steps, to only quickly undo whatever it was you had done.

He also quickly learned that you had zero concept of what any sort of alcohol was.

“What? Wha – no Y/N – I said the brandy. That’s vodka. How – never mind just grab the bottle with the darker liquid and the red seal.” Harry ran his hands through his hair as he watched you reach up on your tiptoes to reach a bottle. He suddenly had this vision of you falling and all the bottles breaking so he quickly ran up behind you and reached around you to grab the brandy bottle.

You stiffened at his touch, his warm and large hand coming to rest on the exposed expanse of skin on your hip as your shirt rode up.

“How do you not know anything about alcohol? You’re like, drinking age and in uni,” Harry chuckled, bopping your nose. The simple gesture weighed heavy on you, considering it was nothing more than a friendly gesture, and not something you would do for someone you fancied.

Again, you wanted to hit yourself for building up one simple touch in your head. Instead, you clutched the bottle close to your chest and gave him a hesitant smile. “My parents never drank. I’ve been doing homework all of my college life. And I live with two party girls who need to be constantly cared for.”

“You should let loose every once in a while,” Harry shrugged as he watched you attempt to open the bottle. He gently took it from your hands and opened it for you as he walked out from behind the bar to open it.

“I let loose when directing,” you called after him, “Through those I direct.”

Harry simply smirked before shaking his head. “Then what kind of life will you be living if you’re only living through others?”

“Oh God,” you groaned, “You’re such an actor. That was grossly cheesy. You should be ashamed.”

Harry laughed, “I guess it’s not something I can easily turn off.”

You went to say something else when the door opened and a blonde boy burst through. “I’m here!” he called before his eyes landed on you, “And you’re behind the bar!”

“Calm down Niall,” Harry rolled his eyes as he stacked the trays on the bar and handed Niall a beer. “She works here now.”

“I’m Y/N,” you said hesitantly.

“You’re that sad girl that always eats all the pretzels,” Niall nodded, “I remember ya.”

“I’m the who?” you asked, turning and looking to Harry who just put his hands up in defense.

“In our defense, you do always look rather sad,” he noted, “And Niall has no filter.”

“It’s nice to meet you Niall,” you grumbled before going back to cleaning out the glasses. The bell rang over the door again and Bea strut into the bar with a big smile on her face.

“Y/N! Babe!” she cried, “Look at you! Your first job not in a film store!”

You couldn’t help but blush a bit as you went to place a wine glass on the bar but missed the bar completely, the glass breaking at your feet as you stared at it in shock. Bea bit her lip and her eyes shifted from Niall’s to Harry’s before falling back to you.

“I’ve got it,” Harry chuckled, “Step away love.”

You felt your entire face burning red before you groaned and stepped away to where Bea was sitting and waiting for you.

“So it’s going pretty well, huh?” she asked hesitantly.

“I know nothing about alcohol and that’s the fourth glass I’ve broken,” you whispered.

“You’re doing great then,” Bea patted your shoulder, “And at least it can’t get any worse!”

You groaned and rested your forehead on the bar. “Chin up Y/N!” Harry called, “People are on their way!”

You watched the black silhouettes before they opened the door and actual real people walked in. The worried look on your face was noticeable to Harry and everyone else, but Harry quickly put you to ease.

“You’re only passing out beers,” Harry handed you four beers nestled between his fingers as you attempted to take the bottles in your significantly smaller hands. “And you can pour shots. I’ve watched you attempt to now five or six times. You’ll get the hang of it.”

He patted your shoulder before giving you a wink and going over to the ever-growing crowd of people. And the nice passed much like that – Harry was able to serve all the fancy drinks as you handed out beer after beer and did all the mathematics for each order. You handled all the tabs, and you rung everyone out. Harry watched you try to keep yourself busy, attempting to seem confident and in control of the situation. Your hair slowly started falling strand by strand from the ponytail it had once been placed in, and by the end of the night your face was flushed and your chest was slightly glistening with sweat.

“You did good tonight kid,” Harry offered his hand and you took it hesitantly before nearly dropping another empty glass, in which Harry quickly caught.

“I’ll get better; I promise,” you said earnestly. “I’ll research alcohol and –”

Harry laughed, “You don’t have to research anything,” he gave you a half-hug before grabbing a rag and tossing it to you. “Why don’t you wipe down the tables? Then you’ll be done for the night.”

You nodded and got to work. The rest of the work kind of worked out like this as well. You slowly got a bit more educated on how to make certain simple drinks, and continued to clean and hand out beers. Harry designated a stool in the back corner behind the bar for you to study and write when the bar was having a slow night.

The rhythm slowly set into place, and you started to feel a bit more comfortable around Harry. The more time you spent with him, the more at ease you would be whenever he looked directly at you, or his arm brushed up against yours behind the bar. You stopped letting his little comments like “kid” bother you, and just tried to do your job while getting your part of the script and planning done.

It was a Thursday when you jogged into the empty bar and slammed the binder down on the bar that Harry was wiping down.

“I was cleaning that,” Harry smirked but could see you were far too excited to care whatsoever.

“Here you go Mr. Styles,” you said proudly, “Your script.”

Harry picked it up and thumbed through it as he sighed. “Okay well, I see you’ll be using my bar as a set.”

“It’s not your bar, but considering I never see who actually runs this place –”

“He hates people.”

“- then I figured we could use it! Also, budget cuts,” you shrugged.

“So it’s a romcom,” Harry smiled.

“You’re a moody bartender, which shouldn’t be that hard for you,” you said gesturing dramatically to Harry, “And you’re in love with the florist across the street.”

“Across the street is an old abandoned bakery,” Harry looked out the window. “And you’re planning to turn it into flower shop?”

“Just for two days,” you nodded, “We’ll shoot everything in the store in two days so we can minimize the time we’re renting that place out. Also, I’m going to need to work a couple more hours so that we can rent that place out.”

“Isn’t your friend helping at all? Tad?”

“He’s doing what he can but his main job was to write the script. I edited it and changed some things after our talk and stuff, but he laid the groundwork.”

“Wait,” Harry narrowed his eyes, “You’re basically doing all the work.”

“No I’m not!” you gasped defensively.

“Yes you are!” Harry laughed, “You’re actually writing the script after Tad gave you what? 10 words?”

“That’s not how it went,” you rolled your eyes, “Just take the part and be grateful.”

“My name is Cooper,” Harry winced.

“What’s wrong with Cooper?!” you laughed.

“Basic,” Harry shrugged. You kneeled on the stool to reach over the bar and push Harry’s shoulder. He just laughed and continued to thumb through the script as you looked over his shoulder.

“I look forward to working with you then.” Harry looked up as you wobbled slightly and Harry grasped both your arms to steady you. Your faces were impossibly close, and you instantly hated yourself for putting yourself in such a situation.

“Oh fuck off,” you grumbled, climbing down and ducking under the bar to grab your waist apron.

“What?” Harry laughed and leaned against the bar with his arms crossed, “You’re in a mood.”

“I’m not in a mood!” you glared, “I’m just tired, okay? I’m not allowed in my flat tonight because both my roommates are bringing boys home. I’ve been at school all day and was so looking forward to a nap and night’s sleep but can’t anymore because I don’t have a boyfriend – again.”

“Again?”

“Yes, Harry. Again!” you burst.

“Well maybe you’ll meet someone tonight and can go home with him,” Harry shrugged, “That could be fun.

“I’m not getting my hopes up,” you grumbled, tossing your rucksack into the back before pulling your hair up. “But thanks for the pep talk; really appreciated it.”

You tried not to allow this rotten mood muffle your need to work as a peppy and happy person. And it was a good thing you decided this early on, because it wasn’t long before a large bridal party made their way into the bar.

“Hi!” one of the bridesmaids smiled as Harry greeted them with congratulatory shots on the house. “We have a game going on tonight and we get five points if we kiss a bartender,” she said flirtatiously, taking her shot as Harry looked on smugly.

Instantly your heart burst into jealous flames. Harry wasn’t yours; Harry was far from yours. But you still felt you laid some claim to him because of your hopeful heart. You could get more comfortable and allow yourself to relax around Harry all you wanted, but that still didn’t mean that your heart skipped a beat whenever you looked over at him. And seeing him now with these bartenders fawning over him surely gave you the jealousy you’d been trying to shove deep down since you’d started working here.

“And you have a girl bartender!” one of the already drunk bridesmaids said. “That’s perfect for Ryan! RYAN!”

The bridge and a handsome guy pushed their way through the crowd of ladies in pink sashes. You almost wanted to laugh at the “Man of Honor” sash Ryan was boasting on his strong chest.

“Just my luck then Lady Bartender,” Ryan gave an awkward bow as the girls all giggled and clapped.

“Yeah Lady Bartender,” Harry turned and smirked at you, “Just his luck.”

The night proceeded quite louder than you’d anticipated, and you retreated a bit to ringing up tabs and cleaning glasses as they were needed. You couldn’t stand looking at Harry flirting with all the bridesmaids, and you could tell he was milking this whole, “Which one of you should I kiss?” thing. You wouldn’t be surprised if he kissed them all on their way out the door.

“Excuse me?” You turned to see Ryan taking a seat at the stool opposite you and he smiled as you gasped and dropped another glass out of shock. Ryan winced at the sound of broken glass but it didn’t even phase Harry as he barely had to look for the broom before tossing it to you.

“I’m so sorry if I startled you,” Ryan bit his lip and your insides almost exploded. A boy was talking to you.

“I’m just a jumpy person in nature,” you sighed, “Harry keeps tabs of the glasses I break and makes me put money in a jar every time I do so.” You stepped aside for Ryan to see the half-filled jar of bills and cents you’d sacrificed in the past couple of weeks.

“You don’t strike me as someone here by choice,” Ryan chuckled, “You’re the quietest bartender I’ve ever met.”

“Keep tabs on bartenders, huh?” you joked. Ryan merely smiled.

“Just that you’re a lot less …” Ryan looked to Harry as he was leaning over the bar and talking rather closely with one of the bridesmaids. “… involved … than any other bartender I’ve met.”

Your eyes remained on Harry for a little too long before clearing your throat and turning back to Ryan. “Well, if I’m being honest I’m only here because I needed a job and a place to work with free wifi and Harry offered it.”

“Are you two a thing?” Ryan asked, taking a swig of his whiskey and gesturing to Harry.

“Oh God no,” you shook your head, “We’re from very different worlds, Harry and I. He would never go for someone like me and I would never waste my time chasing after someone like him.”

It wasn’t that Harry was listening in on your conversation, but considering you’d broken a glass and then he’d noticed you were talking to Ryan, he had perked up his ears a bit to hear where the conversation was leading. He frowned at this statement, looking over to see Ryan was still smiling and saying something to you that made you blush.

You were from different worlds? Harry knew people didn’t always have the most respect for struggling actors, but did you really think that differently or highly of yourself that you saw a difference? No, because you said he would never go for someone like you. Did that mean you thought you weren’t good enough?

Harry regarded you for a moment, watching the way you curled your one foot over the other as you laughed and leaned against the bar. You had a nice figure, but not a figure that would stop anyone in their tracks or make someone look twice. Your hair and makeup was always done nicely, you had a nice sense of style … but maybe it was just your mix of either too shy or too bored that turned people off. But you were sweet, Harry knew that now, and he wouldn’t say he had feelings for you in any romantic sense, but he cared for you and had gotten to know you well enough that he wanted whatever was best for you.

Regardless, the comment stuck in his head as he continued to serve people the rest of the night. He dodged bridesmaids left and right, and whenever he looked over to you, you would be tending to someone while Ryan still kept close. He was rooting for you, and hoped he didn’t see you at the end of the night.

“So you want to direct,” Ryan nodded, “That sounds like quite a busy job.”

“I’ve always loved movies but never enjoyed being in front of a camera,” you shrugged, “This seemed like the best bet. I don’t want to produce; I want to be where the action is.”

“You sound very determined,” Ryan raised his glass to you, “I commend your attitude.”

You blushed, “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Ryan!” the bride-to-be came flying in towards the two of you and grasped his arm. “Come on! We have to get going if we’re going to get to the last bar on our list. We’ve already been here for way too long!”

“I guess that’s my queue to leave,” Ryan sighed as the ladies all bustled out. You caught sight of Harry and a bridesmaid making out near the door of the bar, and you were reminded that Ryan needed a kiss from a bartender in order to gain points for whatever game they were playing.

You turned to see Ryan paying off the tab before handing you the pen and smiling, “It was nice meeting you, Y/N,” he smiled, “Thanks for keeping me company.”

“Of course,” you breathed as your heart sunk and fingers itched to cover your face upon realizing you weren’t going to be kissed. Harry watched after ushering the clingy bridesmaid away as Ryan turned away and your face fell. You took care of their tab, crunching numbers in the machine before sighing and going back to refilling shots and handing out beers.

The night quickly ended after that and you’d been mostly silent the entire time. Harry had let you have your space, seeing you were really far in your head, but as the bar closed and you started cleaning tables, Harry could tell you were distraught.

Grabbing one of the trays Harry had used to carry multiple beers out to whoever was sitting at the table, you gripped it harshly before feeling the sudden urge to slam it down onto the table. You did so, and cried out in anger as you kicked a chair away and threw your towel onto the table as well.

Harry watched your outburst with wide eyes, never seeing you so angry or filled with any sort of emotion before. “Y/N …”

“Not now Harry!” you yelled as hot, angry tears started falling down your cheeks. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot. Obviously we weren’t he only bar they were going to tonight. I’m sure there were way hotter bartenders wherever they were going. Jesus fucking Christ!”

You kicked another chair and Harry just let it happen, seeing you needed this far more than you cared to admit. “And here I was again, just the fucking place holder so he didn’t have to go out onto the dance floor with those thirsty bridesmaids!” you cried. Harry leaned against the bar and watched as you paced angrily, running your hands through your hair.

“Fucking hell!” you yelled, “I’m always the fucking safe option – never the exciting flirtatious option guys are interested in. I’m the girl they’ll know they have use to kill the time because I always fucking want something to happen and I’m so fucking goddamn lonely and desperate that they know they can come to me and I’ll listen. I’ll listen like a fucking psychiatrist because I hope so desperately that they’ll want me by the end of it and they never FUCKING DO!”

You were screaming now, your face red with anger and you were breathing heavily as you looked over to see Harry was making a drink.

“Are you fucking making another drink right now?” you cried, “Does this amuse you so much that you have to settle in and get a drink?”

“Oh no love, this is for you,” Harry slid the drink towards you and you eyed it wearily.

“I don’t dri –”

“Just try it,” Harry sighed, “Consider this your alcohol education.”

You sat down across from Harry and slumped a bit, taking the drink in your hand and sipping it suspiciously. The tangy citrus flavor filled your mouth and you hummed in approval. “This is good; what is it?”

“It’s a screwdriver,” Harry chuckled, “Orange juice and vodka.”

“I like orange juice,” you nodded.

“I figured you might,” Harry merely regarded you as you drank the rest of it and tapped the glass when you were done. “I’ll take another please.”

“That’ll cost ya,” Harry joked, but laughed even harder when you grabbed the jar of bills you’d stashed in the ‘Broken Glass Fund’ jar.

“At this point, you could poison me and I’d be okay with it,” you grumbled.

“I didn’t know you felt this lonely,” Harry said softly as you clutched your third screwdriver in your hands.

“It’s always been this way,” you shrugged, “Just a part of me, I guess. Never been in a relationship.”

“Never?” Harry raised his eyebrows as you polished off your third drink.

“Can you make me something else fruity please?” you asked, handing him back the glass. Under normal circumstances, Harry wouldn’t have given you another drink as you were definitely starting to get tipsy, but considering he figured you might just need to hang loose a bit, he mixed you up a Greyhound instead.

“I hope you like grapefruit juice,” he sighed, handing you back the new drink.

“I like it now,” you nodded.

“So if you’ve never been in a relationship, then does that mean –”

“I’m a virgin?” you asked bluntly, “That’s always the first question asked.”

“I was going to ask if that meant you’d never been kissed,” Harry smirked and brushed some hair from your forehead. “But that was definitely my next question.”

“Donny Telman kissed me in grade four, so I was an early bloomer there,” you sighed, “I’ve never really had a good kiss though, you know? Like I’ve never made out fully with anyone. Still kinda confused what to do with my tongue I guess?” you waggled your tongue around and Harry laughed, looking up at you from where he was leaning with his forearms on the bar and hands keeping his chin up.

“There isn’t really much of a rulebook,” Harry chuckled, “So you’re asking all the right questions those of us more experienced still ask.”

“I’m sure you kiss lots of girls,” you nodded. Your body felt warm, and the outline of Harry’s body was soft. In your eyes, he almost seemed to be radiating light, and so you groaned at the thought of Harry being anymore angelic than you already considered him to be.

“Can I try rum again?” you sighed, handing him back your now empty glass. You watched Harry’s back muscles work as he sifted through bottles and found what he was looking for before mixing your drink.

“Rum and orange,” he said, handing it to you. “Go nuts.”

“I have had sex though,” you nodded. Harry noticed your words were starting to slur and his dream of seeing you drunk ever since he’d met you was slowly starting to come true. You were far funnier than he ever could have imagined.

“Good for you, love,” he nodded.

“Probably not as much as you,” you booped his nose, “God I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Bop my nose like I’m some sort of puppy,” you gagged. “Makes me feel like your younger sister and I hate that.”

“I’ll stop doing it then.”

“No, please don’t,” you shook your head, “I say I hate it, and I’ll pretend to be annoyed by a lot of things you do, but in reality it’s because I just sometimes in my head get like, these thoughts about you, ya know? Like, I’m like ‘oh if this was a romcom then I’d totally be like the it-girl right now and you’d totally be into me.’ But this isn’t a romcom and the fact that I seem to be one of the only people who you touch my nose then that means there’s hope for us to be friends.”

Harry was a bit touched at this, and he realized you were far more observant than he took you for. You noticed the little things, and to him, those were sometimes the most important things in life.

“I think it would be funny if we wrote a scene into the movie of the flower girl getting drunk in your bar and you taking care of her,” you nodded, “I’ve always wanted to be drunk with someone taking care of me.”

“You can totally write that in if you’d like,” Harry nodded.

“Millie wants the role,” you admitted, “But I really don’t want her to because you two like, hooked up and stuff and now we’re working together and hopefully friends so it would be weird.”

“We’re friends, Y/N,” Harry nodded, “You can call me your friend.”

“But we’re so not similar,” you shook your head viciously and almost fell out of your stool. “You’re so much better than me Harry Styles. You’re so attractive and people flock to you and people like you. I could stand front and center of this bar in nothing but my underwear and a bra and guys still wouldn’t notice me.”

Your comment from earlier about the two of you never working out once again stuck in Harry’s mind. “Do you think so little of yourself that someone ‘like me’ would never go for you?”

You were quiet as you stirred the straw in your drink and shrugged, “Well, it’s been many years and I’ve been around many guys and the only guys who have ever expressed interest are the ones who write creepy poems for me or don’t shower regularly and I remind them of their mums.”

Harry chuckled at his as you asked for another drink but he shook his head. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight, love.”

“I think I like drinking now,” you nodded, “I’ll have to come back to this bar sometime.”

“You have to come back considering you work here,” Harry reminded you. “Now, you can’t go back to your flat, right?”

“My roommates are fucking,” you nodded, “I mean, wait.” You furrowed your eyebrows and tapped your lip thoughtfully as Harry grabbed his coat and then yours. “They’re not fucking each other. But like –���

“Yeah Y/N I get it,” Harry mumbled as he helped you put on your coat. “Come on then; you can crash at mine.”

“You have a place you live!” you gasped, “I figured you just slept here!”

Harry chuckled as he helped you off the stool and pulled you in close to help you walk towards the door without stumbling too much. So close to Harry and tucked right under his arm, you turned and pressed your nose against his side. He smelled like old bourbon and a refreshing mint and wood combination that instantly had you dizzy.

“You smell so good,” you mumbled, your face smushed up against his body as he chuckled and hailed a cab. He helped you into the vehicle and you sighed, looking out the window. You were far more confident when under the influence, and so Harry was quite surprised when you nestled your head in his lap and let out a long sigh.

“This is a very romcom situation we’re in,” you said softly with a yawn, “Usually this is the beginning of a ‘he said-she said’ situation. But we’re not in a romcom and you’re really pretty and I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

Harry let his fingers softly run through your hair as you fell asleep in the back of the cab. He carried you up to his flat once you arrived, and as you blinked back awake, you were lying in an unfamiliar bed as Harry walked towards you with water.

“Drink up,” he said, “You’ll thank me in the morning when you have your first hangover.”

“I have class at nine,” you grumbled, a bit more sober than previously as Harry tossed you some boxers and a shirt. “Oh no,” you shook your head, “I can’t wear your clothes.”

“Why not? You’re wearing jeans. That won’t be comfortable,” Harry furrowed his eyebrows and filled your water glass again to get you to drink more.

“If I wear your clothes then I’ll be surrounded by you all night and that’s basically you asking me to fall in love with you,” you said honestly, “I’ve never worn a man’s clothes and I really don’t think I’ll be able to separate these feelings.”

Harry sat down next to you and sighed, feeling a bit sadder than he originally had. He wanted to care for you, and his mum had always raised him to care the right way, but he also didn’t want to put you in a self-torturous situation that you knew you would be in.

So instead, Harry nodded and took his clothes back. “Well, if you get uncomfortable, please feel free to change. And I promise I’ll set you straight in the morning if you come onto me.”

You blushed at this, shrugging off your jacket and tossing it to the side. “I’m guessing you’re going to give me your bed and then you take the couch like a gentleman?”

“That is how my mum told me to go through life,” Harry nodded, “Do you have a problem with that?”

You groaned and pulled yourself off the bed, grabbing at the pillows and smelling each one. “What are you doing?” Harry laughed, standing there with the water pitcher and just letting this all happen.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch,” you nodded, “You have to be an asshole, okay? Or else I will start concocting scenarios in my mind of the two of us together because you’re being chivalrous.”

Now it was Harry’s turn to blush as he thought of the thought of you thinking about the two of them. It warmed his heart a bit to think that you had at least at one point thought about this, but were now actively trying to push it out of your head.

“Still haven’t explained why you’re smelling the pillows,” he mentioned.

“Trying to find one that doesn’t smell like you,” you said honestly, finally finding one that was farther in the back. “This one smells more like IKEA for sure.” Harry followed you as you marched down the stairs and fluffed the pillow, plopping down on the couch and curling up. He placed a blanket over you and you caught his wrist as he left the glass of water on the table in front of him.

“You have to wake me at 8am,” you said, “I have class at nine and I can’t miss it.”

“I’ll make sure you’re reading for school,” Harry nodded, “Now go to sleep. And don’t vomit on my couch.”

You were asleep before Harry even left you, and he smirked at the thought of how easily you’d actually held your liquor until you’re gone for the rum. He was kind of proud of you, in a way, because you could have continued to sulk over the whole Ryan thing, but instead you’d allowed yourself to let go.

He watched you snuggle in a bit farther under the blankets as he cleared some dishes from the kitchen in search of some Tylenol for you to take in the morning. Setting the pills next to the glass of water, Harry hesitated for a moment before pressing his lips to your forehead. Even though you’d told him how easily it was for you to fall for someone and you wanted to separate any potential means of you falling for him, Harry still hoped this forehead kiss gave you some good dreams.

Because you deserved them, he thought, as he made his way up to bed and felt his body dragging from a long day. He set his alarm to get you up in the morning, and smiled at the thought of you having a good night’s sleep with whatever Prince Charming you were hoping for one day taking care of you in your dreams.

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Sorry for the delay but I hope this makes up for it! Let me know if you’re interested in this story going further because I have some of the next parts written a bit! Thanks for all the love and support! Happy holidays !!!!!!

Part 3 HERE // MASTERLIST 

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #bartender harry styles #harry styles au #hs #one direction #rue_by_another_name #love me do #harry styles writing #harry one shot #harry imagine #harry fan fic #harry fan fiction #harry au #harry smut #harry fluff

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #453

Top Ten Films That Make Me Happy

So every once in a while I do one of these things and the world ends up moving so fast that between me having an idea, writing the list, and it going up on Tumblr of a weekend, the plates have shifted and it doesn’t seem quite as relevant anymore. I remember listing ten films I wanted to see because cinemas were reopening; I think only two of them ever actually saw the inside of a Cineworld. And so we have this week; when I came up with the idea for the list, I thought either we’d all be in a celebratory mood, or else need commiserating. And at the time of writing, it’s looking – thankfully – that we’ll have enough reasons to be cheerful to be getting along with. But who knows? If you’re reading this on Saturday there may be a new president, or maybe the old one’s bombed China.

It’s a funny old world.

Anyway, like I said, my initial thought was that, in this time of darkness, we might need a little light; that everything is rather remorselessly grim and difficult, and we could do with a bit of cheering up. We’re all back in lockdown, the idiots are in charge, and Halo Infinite was delayed till next year. Lots of crap is going on. And, yes, fingers crossed, maybe we will be celebrating the Idiot in Chief getting booted out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue before too long, but life has taught me never to count chickens, and you can always do with a little restorative nip in your pocket, just in case. And what is a good curative for the blues? A fillum.

Yes, feel-good films. Cheerer-uppers. Movies that make ya happy. There are lots of them, of course; it’s practically a genre. But one man’s meat is another man’s poison, and one man’s (end of) It’s a Wonderful Life is another man’s (middle section of) It’s a Wonderful Life. Which is to say that what makes me happy might not make you happy. I found this when doing a bit of research for this list; as is common, I often have quite a few ideas when I’ve thought of a topic, but I like to Google it (or Bing it, as I get Microsoft Reward Points and I’m saving up for a few months of Game Pass), just in case there’s some obvious film that has escaped my mental grasp. In this case what I found was some of the films that people consider to be uplifting are downright weird – Forrest Gump? Really? And a lot of truly mediocre romcoms seem to float people’s happiness boats, from the wildly uneven Love Actually to the tepid You’ve Got Mail to the overlong and overly twee The Holiday (a film which I hated on first watch but which has grown on me, Stockholm-style, as I’ve seen it over and over again every year). And some people even list stuff like Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or Pirates of the Caribbean; good movies, true, but are they feel-good? I mean, loads of people die in all those films; in one of them an actual planet blows up. I know we like zombie monkeys and Harrison Ford in a waistcoat, but they’re not really the most relentlessly cheerful films, are they?

Or are they? I mean, when I got right down to it, there were quite a few blowy-uppy pictures that are genuine comfort blankets for me (Air Force One, which I watched so much at one point that I used to fall comfortably asleep to it when I was on my own, nearly made the cut). So, y’know, who am I to judge? I think what makes us feel comfortable, happy, and upbeat can be wildly diverse and erratic, even within our own taste window.

And really that’s what I was after here; comfort movies, films that uplift or inspire or just, well, make you smile. Not just because we’ve blown up the Death Star or because Tom Hanks has snogged Meg Ryan again. But there’s something about the film, from its story to its characters to its composition, that is continuously joyful.

So whether we’re lifting a glass in celebration or drowning our sorrows with an armful of Stella, here’s to the films that make us feel better. Chin up, folks. It might never happen!

Paddington 2 (2017): what is it about this film that evokes such joy? I’d say everything, from the script to the performances to the music to the shot choices. The bad guy is funny, the dire situations rarely threatening, almost everyone is nice, and it ends with a redemption and a musical number. Beyond all that, though, Paddington himself is such a supernova of absolute goodness that you can’t help but feel optimistic just by watching him. It’s perfect, really.

WALL-E (2008): a film that starts with the end of the world but it gets better. It’s a cinematic joy, the virtually dialogue-free opening giving us dystopic vistas and a real sense of mood. But it’s WALL-E himself who brings the real feels, a mechanical wonder who does nothing but make other people happy and improve their lives almost by accident. he saves the human race and the planet simply by trying to be nice to one person at a time, and that’s a hell of an optimistic message.

When Harry Met Sally (1989): far sarkier than the other two films, and obviously a bit more, well, grown up (we all know what you must not do with Mister Zero), this is nonetheless a beautiful film. A slow-burning romance between two friendly, funny people, witticisms flying from every mouth, some absolute, genuine emotional stakes that you really, really care about, and the single most romantic ending a film has ever had.

Groundhog Day (1993): let’s face it, it’s the best film either Harold Ramis or Bill Murray has ever been involved in, and I bought every issue of Transformers/Ghostbusters. A tour-de-force of cynicism and sourness from Murray, but he gradually unravels (in more ways than one), becoming a happier and better person. It’s funny, it’s sweet, and the complexities of its chronally-displaced plot means there’s loads you can unpick. Masterfully written, directed, and edited, and that’s some of its joy, too.

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994): the Coens have, obviously, made a lot of very good films, and not all of them are darkly serious (No Country) or darkly hilarious (Fargo); they also have lighter fare, but none as floaty-light or so supremely joyous as Hudsucker. The script is pure screwball but also a precisely-honed, fast-spoken, Golden Age charm; the performances are all fantastic (we also get the best Lois Lane, Perry White, and Steve Lombard scene ever shot, and it’s not even in a Superman film). Look, it’s hilarious, it’s arch, it’s fantastically put-together, and it’s actually, genuinely hopeful and optimistic. It’s my favourite Coen Brothers movie.

Singin' in the Rain (1952): I’ve always got a lot of love for movies about Old Hollywood, but Singin’ isn’t really some kind of backstage satire; really, it’s a story about love, honesty, and creativity – movies are just the backdrop. But it’s the songs. Let’s face it, it’s the songs – and dances. These are some of the most joyous songs put to celluloid, and Gene Kelly absolutely attacks them from all sides. But I’ve gotta say, my favourite number is probably Donald O’Connor running up the walls in “Make ‘Em Laugh”.

Strictly Ballroom (1992): there’s a personal touch to this one, as my wife and I chose “Love is in the Air” for the first dance at our wedding. But there’s more to this film than memories of me being a shit dancer: it’s a supremely romantic film, possibly the most enjoyable straight-up romance from Luhrmann’s Red Curtain trilogy (spoiler alert: no one dies). A great underdog tale, two kids taking down a corrupt system, a story of the unlikely girl nabbing the hot guy; it’s timeless, it’s well-told, and its unusual setting (ballroom dancing competitions in Australia) gives it an extra kick.

My Neighbour Totoro (1988):  Ghibli films often present us with a nicer, fairer world, where even the nasty monsters are there to teach us important lessons, or at the very least plucky kids can do the right thing and save the day. Totoro is different in that there isn’t an antagonist; there isn't much drama or, really, plot. It’s two very small girls dealing with a complex life situation, and also a giant bear-monster thing with a massive mouth who could be scary but is actually really nice and magical and saves the day because the girls deserve it, and also there’s a hollow cat that’s also a bus. It’s fantastic, but it’s also so nice, just a load of nice people and nice monsters being nice to each other, and if – let's say – the elements can be good, can't we be good too?

Die Hard (1988): yeah, okay, contradiction corner; a supremely violent and sweary action movie that makes me “feel good”. Is it the bit where he throws a bomb down a lift? Or shoots a dude from beneath a table? Or when Ellis dies? Honestly, yeah, there’s a little bit of that; the action stuff is so well-done. But it’s also a film with a ton of heart and soul and wit and life. John McClane is a masterpiece of character design, a gruff cop with a heart of gold, a capable action hero but also a working-class schmo who just wants to try to get back with his wife. He struggles and bleeds and doubts himself; he’s not a superman. The villains are incredible, with great lines and great designs and a great scheme; you care about these guys, they’re interesting. There's a part of you that wants Gruber to get away as much as you want John and Holly to get back together. It's a Christmas movie, all about family and forgiveness, and It's just plain fun, uncynical and sentimental and really, really funny. It's the best action movie ever made, I watch it every year, and it brings me great, great comfort and joy.

The American President (1995): oh no, too soon! But I couldn’t include The West Wing in a list of feel-good films, so this is the next best thing; smart public servants being smart, as well as moral and just, wearing their immense power with the right amount of humility. Sorkin really believes in the majesty of the office of President, and the founding myth of America and what that means, and he makes you believe in it too. His dialogue is, of course, exceptional, witty bon-mots and one-liners, but the love story is great too; two people finding each other later in life and trying to make it work despite everything. So it’s a great film, a funny film, a sweet film, a romantic film, but also kinda important; a film that makes you aspire to higher ideals, that gives you hope and confidence in the institutions of government.  I suppose it is a fantasy – God knows, the last four years have shaken these institutions to their very core, over here as much as in the States – but The American President can make you believe again.

There you go. Ten films that just make me happy if I'm down, or cement that happiness if I'm already in the mood. All of these films, you’ll notice, are also very, very good; not some kind of “guilty pleasure” (if such a thing exists; don’t pleasure-shame!). Funnily enough, it’s the quality of the films that adds to their charm; I appreciate the craft as much as the plot or theme or performances.  Like when I watch American President (or, more accurately, The West Wing) and I just enjoy seeing people good at their jobs be good at their jobs, then watching a well-made film makes me happy because I like seeing people good at their jobs be good at their jobs.

Anyway. Tear yourself away from Twitter, stop refreshing fivethirtyeight.com, pour yourself a drink, and – hopefully – make yourself happy this weekend. Unless you voted for Trump, then you can get in a bin.

#top ten #feel-good films #feel-good movies #movies #happy #optimism #biden #harris

[lustloved]

hello!! i’m s, but you can literally call me sam tbh i don’t rly care ( hell i would prob let you call me trash cuz... i am ) i’m super excited for this ahhhh;;; okAY also i tend to ramble a lot s o i’m........sorry kldjfkd ily all already

is that aphrodite? no, that’s hae-ju rhee! she is 21 years old and works as a model. on a good day, she is said to be enchanting & ambitious but sometimes she can be narcissistic & vindictive. if you look closely, you might think they look like park sooyoung / joy but maybe it’s just me!

SO THIS BIHH ... only child & likely an epitome of a trust-fund baby

i’m talking, her parents are so loaded that her baby bottles were gold lmfao jkjkjk but seriously they had some real $$$

which in turn made little hae-ju SPOILED but unlike most trust-fund babies, her parents actually weren’t... neglecting. in fact it was the opposite and that’s part of the problem later on in life as she LOVES attention and honestly might act out in order to receive it

but again, all that attention probably did more harm than good as it also meant she was v guarded as a child/teen?? it was a mess. she would sneak out whenever she could ( even if she got caught or in trouble---that was just part of the thrill, tbh ) “a golden cage is still a cage” / “let me live my life” / “i’m not a baby anymore, i can handle myself” etc etc you get the idea

sneaking out included a lot of clubs and bars, and yes little miss perfect with her flawless manicure that was worth more than your entire wardrobe thrived. hae-ju often had many patrons of the venues offering to buy her drinks since.... she’s hot and she knows it, and she knows YOU know it

this also lead to casual one night stands frequently, despite her being “in love with the idea of love” --- shE’S JUST COMPLICATED OKay sometimes it could be “i won’t be here in the morning” and other times it could be “is it alright if we cuddle / i stay a little longer?” like i said, Messy™

after graduating high school at 18, hae-ju officially started taking modeling more seriously. she always found herself a subject of photography or even other art mediums while in school, so why not pursue it? she wasn’t the tallest model, standing at the average 5′8″, but she made up for it with her own charm and allure

her parents still don’t???? understand the appeal in modeling??? like why not go to school for something / do something more .... PRACTICAL but ya know hae-ju is like “fuck you it’s my life and i want to do this”

TOO HOT FOR YOU

now at 21, she’s been in various magazines and even shows and this hoe is so full of herself that she literally has photos of herself framed in her own house ksjhdcbjfj BUT IT’S ALRIGHT she’s big enough to admit that she loves herself and tbh if you don’t love yourself then “that’s just tragic”

vindictive as fuck though don’t get it twisted she may look and sound like an angel but she can be just as vicious as sweet

has actually programmed her siri to call her “bubblegum bitch”

she loves the beach & the ocean, though!!!!! def would’ve collected shells as a child bc they were pretty!!

diamonds are great and she loves them, but pearls are where it’s at my dude

does she love romcoms? absolutely

she totally feeds birds if she sees them if she’s out sitting in like a park though and it’s rly cute and pure ;((

THIS IS ONE TEXT POST OF MANY THAT CAN DESCRIBE HER TBH like??? sure girl has obvious sex appeal but... she cute, she cute

also a fun fact!!! the name hae-ju means “sea, ocean” & “precious stone, gem, jewel, pearl”

we already all prob kno how she was as a goddess so i’m not rly gonna touch on that esp. since she don’t even remember but y e a h ;;;; pls lov my devil angel

#imrp.intro #i hate how long this got it's so dUMB #* she would wield a bubblegum scented sword: ooc.

[the-old-dip-and-stir]

Shake It Off

Pairing: Dean x Reader (ish)

Word Count: 1,494 

Warnings: Dean being a cutie, date gone awry, Dean and the reader are best friends but it doesn’t go much further than that, drinking, cussing

Summary: Reader is upset after a date and Dean tries to make her feel better

A/N: This is for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog‘s RomCom Fluff challenge. It was a pain in the ass, but I got it done and I’m pretty happy with the results. Btw this is my first time writing spn fanfiction so if my Dean isn’t good, apologies. I picked a line from Friends With Benefits and used part of it, which will be in bold.

Prompt: “It’s not you. Nothing is wrong with you. He’s a guy. You gave him a five date challenge, he got you and cut out. Forget the douche! He’s a dick. He’s a dick douche.”

It’s not unheard of to have a bad date or two, but this date had to be the worst Y/N had ever been on by far.

It was going so well too, she had gone on a few dates with this guy. He was handsome, funny, well-mannered, and a dentist. He was so perfect and of course, of course, he was married. She should’ve known; his name, Barry, should’ve been a red flag. It should’ve been so obvious, seriously what guy with his life together hasn’t probably settled down?

It wouldn’t have been so bad if his wife hadn’t come into the restaurant, and… oh man. Could she even call it a scene? The poor woman was distraught. I mean, finding out that your husband was cheating has got to suck, but finding out that your husband is cheating while the two of you are going to marriage counseling has got to be absolutely awful.

So here Y/N is, coming back from what she thought was going to be a wonderful date rather early. Time for the good ol’ Winchester “cure” for all your problems.

 –

Dean is just finishing up a call with Sam when he hears the bunker door open and slam shut. Looking up, he sees Y/N back from her date. She was back awful early.

“Hey Smalls… how’d your date with the dentist guy go?”

She doesn’t answer. And she’s on her way to the kitchen. Oh boy, not good.

She’s already digging through the liquor cabinet when Dean catches up with Y/N. The woman doesn’t even look at him.

He can tell by the way her mouth and shoulders are set that she’s upset. Okay, he can do this. Not the first time she’s been pissed about a date, but this is kind of different. So he tries to do what any good friend does.

“You doing okay there?”

She still isn’t answering him. In fact, she’s probably so pissed, she can’t hear him. Fuck, he doesn’t know how to handle this. He’d usually just go and look for the guy then kick his ass, but knowing Y/N she probably already took care of the guy herself.

Dean isn’t necessarily bad with emotions, he’s just never really dealt with bad dates. When you’re a hunter, you don’t really have time to. The most romance you get is a good lay from some bar dweller. Dean’s tried before but using that dating app ended up in gaining a hunt, so he deleted it and just settled with the standard hookups.

Y/N is his friend, his best friend, and she’s always been a good listener and problem solver. Dean wants to give back, but he doesn’t even know where to start. She’s usually the one to pick him up when he’s down, literally and figuratively.

She’s finally found the bottle she was looking for; George Dickel, her favorite whiskey. Now Dean knows something is wrong.

“Look, Y/N, if you don’t want to talk-”

She grabs a tumbler glass and starts walking away. Damn it.

“Y/N!”

“If you need me, I’ll be in my room, drinking away my feelings.” She throws over her shoulder.

She stops just before entering the labyrinth of hallways and sighs. She looks at Dean, giving him a sad little smile.

“See you in the morning.” –

Y/N has watched five episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and drank about half of the George Dickel when she finally breaks down. Why the hell did she even try? Ah, yes…it’s because she’s a hopeless romantic. One would think after years of hunting, she would be jaded in every aspect.

Maybe that was the problem. Y/N had this little sliver of hope that she’d possibly find someone to fall asleep with, come home to; perhaps settle down with, but we can’t always get what we want, sadly.

Sighing, she rubs away her tears, ready to call it a night… but something catches her attention. Listening more closely, she realizes that it’s music. Y/N can’t really hear what’s playing, but Dean is the only other person in the bunker, so it’s probably his music.

She grabs her whiskey and glass, deciding to put it up, maybe give Dean a hug to say she’ll be okay. You know, best friend stuff.

Y/N can already hear Dean singing and the smell of burgers before she walks into the kitchen. She stops in the doorway, watching Dean. He’s doing a dramatic air guitar solo, powerslide and all, to “Stairway to Heaven”.

He sees her just before the last line of the song, holds the spatula out to her like a microphone, she laughs and goes to take it from his hand.

“And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.”

She sings the last line and Dean’s grinning like he won the lottery. He takes the spatula back and pauses the music. He flips the cooking patty.

“So how you feeling, Smalls?”

Y/N shrugs while putting away the whiskey, and leans against the counter after rinsing out the tumbler.

“I feel a bit better, I guess.”

Dean flips the patty he was cooking onto a plated bun, throws a slice of cheese on it, and slides the plate over to her. Y/N turns to pull all the burger toppings out of the fridge, while the older Winchester throws another beef patty on the skillet.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She sighs. God, where to start?

“It’s really complicated.”

Dean turns to her with a hand on his hip.

“Sweetheart, our lives are all kinds of complicated and weird. I don’t think a bad date will be hard to explain.” –

“Okay, wow, that is complicated.”

Y/N had explained how the whole date had gone down. Thrown drinks, screaming, dramatic exits, etcetera etc. Dean even looked genuinely shocked and gasped a couple times.

Dean puts down the burger he’d been chowing on, and grabs Y/N’s hand across the table.

“I’m sorry he turned out to be an asshole, I know that you liked him.”

He squeezes it in comfort.

“Barry was a real douche. He cheated on a woman willing to work out their problems and then he dipped out on an awesome date with you to go after the same woman he has no chance with now.”

Y/N gives him an ‘I know right’ look.

“He’s a dick.” she says in exasperation

“He’s a dick-douche.” Dean says that like it’s an absolute fact, which it is.

Y/N snorts and shakes her head. She takes their plates to the sink and starts washing them, then sighs for what seems like the millionth time that night.

“What is it now?” Dean takes one of the newly washed plates to dry.

“I guess the whole situation just bothers me.”

He takes the other plate from her.

“Well I think I’ve got the perfect cure for all your worries.”

Sitting the plate down, Dean unlocks his phone and scrolls for a moment. Then taps something, smiles, sits his phone back on the counter, and a familiar beat starts.

“I stay out too late,”

A look of pure joy comes across Y/N’s face, and Dean’s already bobbing to the song.

“I cannot believe you!”

Y/N starts swaying to Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off” is their guilty pleasure song. They only listened to it when Sam’s gone.

Dean suddenly grabs Y/N’s wrist, pulling her to his chest and starts dancing.

“Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake I shake it off, I shake it off”

By this point, the two are singing and doing a goofy version of the twist. They throw in some butchered Dirty Dancing moves. Twirling and laughing. Then their favorite verse comes on.

“Hey, hey, hey! Just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars And dirty, dirty cheats of the world you could’ve been getting down to this sick beat”

They face each other and recite the words.

“My ex-man brought his new girlfriend She’s like, “oh my God”, but I’m just gonna shake And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won’t you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake”

They dance around the kitchen some more until the song finally ends. The two fall on the floor in a laughing heap.

Eventually the laughs turn into giggles and Y/N can finally form words.

“Dean, thank you,”

She smiles brightly.

“For everything, seriously. You’re the bestest friend I could’ve asked for.”

Dean smiles and pulls her to him, hugging her, and kisses the crown of head.

“Nothing to it, Smalls. I’d do anything for ya.”

And the two best friends stay like that, on the floor, talking about nothing and everything until they both fall asleep with smiles on their faces.

#mimi's romcom fluff challenge #dean x reader #dean winchester #spn fluff #lolololol i couldn't help myself #i figured the song would be a guilty pleasure #who wouldn't want dean winchester as a best friend? #dean bean #spn fic #dean would call cute girls 'Smalls' #you can't convince me otherwise #my pretty boy

[ayearofromcoms]

#53: Man Up (2015)

IMDB plot summary: A single woman takes the place of a stranger's blind date, which leads to her finding the perfect boyfriend.

Is this an accurate plot summary? I guess. I do like how the movie poster is doing the work of trying to explain what this movie is about because the title is so vague and terrible.

Well, hey, guys! Long time, no talk about romcoms. What have you been up to since our year of romcoms ended? As for me, I’ve been busy a) having a child and b) publishing a book. Which all means that my romcom consumption has gone WAY down...like, do you know that babies have VERY little interest in meet cutes? It’s true! Anyway, the other night my husband and I actually had the chance to watch a movie together, so I took the opportunity to romcom it up. And since everyone loves Simon Pegg and Lake Bell, I chose this one. Several people recommended it to me, it was in the library’s Blu-Ray selection, it was fate.

Let’s get to the plot: Lake Bell, now British, thinks she’s a loser, I guess because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. What she does have is a lovely sister played by Sharon Horgan. Can you imagine if Sharon Horgan was your sister? You would have access to great clothes constantly.

Lake Bell, single and not loving it, is headed home for her parents’ anniversary party, for which she had to write a speech. Don’t worry, she wrote it in a notebook she carries around everywhere that definitely WON’T get lost or become a central plot point.

While she’s on the train home, she runs into a girl who’s reading some popular self-help book. Lake Bell, too cool to care about anything, makes fun of it. When the train stops, she realizes the girl left the book for her. Instead of trashing it, she tries to chase down the girl in the train station to return her book. That’s how she comes to be standing by herself under a giant clock, forlornly holding the book, when Simon Pegg shows up. Because guess what, you guys? He’s supposed to be meeting a blind date there, and they’re both supposed to be holding copies of that book. And instead of being like, “Nope, not me!” Lake Bell is all, “Yes, I AM your blind date.”

And who can blame her? Simon Pegg is cute! He’s wearing a scarf! He’s got that haircut every man I know got when he turned 30 (no shade; it’s a nice haircut) and he’s very friendly. So she’s on this date with him, pretending to be a girl named Jessica, and you know where this is going. She’s gonna be outed and he’s not gonna be able to trust her but they’re gonna have chemistry, right?

I mean, yeah, pretty much. Can we talk about the specific moment in which she’s outed as a big faker, though? So she and Simon Pegg are at a bowling alley, taking part in a romcom montage that shows how much fun they’re having, when Lake Bell runs into a guy she knows from high school. He knows she’s not named (sorry, “called,” this movie is British) Jessica, and he’s had a crush on her for years. So he attempts to blackmail her into sexual favors to keep him from telling Simon Pegg her true identity! Which is...extremely gross! He was so creepy that I cringed every time he was on screen, yet he was also kind of the “wacky side character” so it was a real conflict. On the one hand, this guy is threatening a woman. And on the other hand...well, actually that one hand’s got plenty of creepy stuff in it. It was gross, is what I’m saying.

Once they have their inevitable parting of ways and Lake Bell shows up super late to her parents’ anniversary party (seriously, girl, they’re your PARENTS), she’s crushed. And Simon Pegg realizes that Lake Bell is the girl he’s supposed to be with, and also he realizes he has her notebook from the beginning. You know, the one with the speech in it that she needs for the party. So of course he has to find her, and of course it involves a high-speed race through the city.

Here’s what I liked about Man Up: it actually cast a good actress who’s known for comedy. I like Lake Bell a lot and she’s super talented. Also, Simon Pegg is very cute and I would watch him in more romcoms, including the ones I write in my head when I’m daydreaming. There were parts that were genuinely funny, and several scenes that made us laugh out loud (mostly involving that creepy dude, who was very good at acting creepy). And TBH I would watch anything that lets me stare at Sharon Horgan for a few minutes.

Here’s what I didn’t like about Man Up: it’s hard to explain, but there just wasn’t enough build up to their feelings about each other. It didn’t feel 100% earned when Simon Pegg was running down the street trying to find Lake Bell. ALSO I resent that the movie expects me to believe Lake Bell looks bad just because her hair is kind of messed up. In one scene, she goes into the bar bathroom, puts on the tiniest amount of makeup and changes her shirt, and when she comes out Simon Pegg is like, “Whoa, who’s THIS girl?” Like...she looked like Lake Bell before, she looks like Lake Bell now. This isn’t new information.

What it boils down to is that I liked this movie enough to wish that it was just a tiny bit better.

I still found this to be a really charming and likable movie, and I get why so many people recommended it to me. Both of the leads were wonderful, the side characters were great (and occasionally creepy) and Sharon Horgan was there. All in all, a solid romcom...nice and cozy and pretty comforting.

Stray thoughts:

-I hate googling actors while I’m watching a movie, but I couldn’t figure out who Simon Pegg’s ex-wife was and it was driving me so crazy that I had to look it up. And she was ROSEMARY FROM RUSHMORE. A blunt bob can really change your look.

-There’s a scene built around Duran Duran’s The Reflex and I guess I never realized what a killer song it is. We should all be so lucky to have a climactic fight with Simon Pegg during it.

-Okay, you guys, this was the creepy dude:

He must be a great actor because he was SELLING IT.

-Just to confirm, both Simon Pegg and Lake Bell were super adorable in this film. Look at all their layered clothing!

Romantic comedy cliches: blind date, mistaken identities, running through the streets to find someone, a missing item that must be returned, a single person who keeps getting set up by their friends, a falling-in-love montage, an evil ex

Is this a good movie? I think it is.

Did I like this movie? Yes! I would recommend it when you’re, oh, I don’t know, overwhelmed by the news and just want to watch nice people meet each other. If that’s a mood you’re ever in.

Did this movie make me believe in love? It made me believe that I have developed a crush on Simon Pegg.

That’s it for now! I enjoyed watching a romcom so much after all this time that I think I might pop back in occasionally.  What can I say? Romcoms and I are like a couple in a romcom: we might be pushed apart by plot constraints, but we’ll always find our way back to each other. I deeply enjoy talking about romcoms and sharing recommendations with the people who read this blog, and it’s nice to have something that’s purely fun.

And before I go, just a reminder that my first book is out now! It’s called LOVE AND OTHER ALIEN EXPERIENCES and I tried to cram as many romcom elements as possible into it. It’s been called a YA The Shop Around the Corner, and you know what? I’ll take it! If you like this blog, chances are pretty good that you’ll like the book, because, you know...I wrote both of them.

PROMO OVER. I’ll check back in next time I get the chance to see a romcom. I just got The DUFF from the library and I have a feeling I’ll have a lot to say. No one better mess with Mae Whitman.

As always, send your recs and thoughts to me on Twitter @KerryAnn or via email at [email protected].

#lake bell #simon pegg #man up #romcoms #romantic comedies #film #a year of romcoms #sharon horgan

[elainescookingforthesoul]

TRANSCRIPT for Episode 1.03 "Fran and Sidney's Hot & Spicy Black Bean Burgers" (PART 2/2)

ACT II

[FAKE JONI MITCHELL "BIG YELLOW TAXI" BLARES OUTSIDE]

ELAINE: Okay, I'm here at the front door looking out upon the evening sky. The sirens have stopped, but they've started blasting some kind of off-brand version of Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" instead, so...I think that's like a code black? Anyway, I tend to prefer the Counting Crows version so it seems pretty bleak out there to me. The sky is reminiscent of a half-healed bruise, and even as the sun sets, I can see that the wind is carrying the toxic mass northerly, away from us...I feel a little bad for Sidney and Fran. Being young is tough as it is, nuclear holocaust notwithstanding. I'm glad they have their friendship to carry them through, though I suspect that maybe they both have--

SIDNEY: Elaine! Fran is bored! Get back in here so we can keep podcasting!

ELAINE: Oh, welcome back to Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul. Coming!

SIDNEY: I mean it! You're teeth are so straight and perfect. You could be a tooth model. Right, Elaine?

ELAINE: Well, I'd have to do a full exam to determine the presence of any cavities or flaws in the enamel, and probably create a plaster mold of a dental impression to study the full jaw and bite patterns for good measure, but...at a glance, I'd say Fran has taken adequate care of their teeth.

SIDNEY: Fran is so humble. That's why we love 'em!

FRAN: You do not, shut up.

ELAINE: I suppose we should jump back into this Hot and Spicy Black Bean Burger recipe! What we're doing here is just making up some simple patties with a few simple and mostly nonperishable ingredients. As a refresher, they include one can of refried black beans, a bit of minced garlic, half a packet of taco seasoning, a couple of chipotle peppers, and some flour. It's a one-pot kind of deal, so I'm just going to grab this big mixing bowl and a rubber spatula. Hold these, Sidney?

SIDNEY: Got it.

ELAINE: And if Fran has the refried black beans ready?

FRAN: Check out this serve. Boom.

[PLOP OF BEANS IN BOWL]

ELAINE: And Sidney, you can pour in just the taco seasoning...perfect. And now a teaspoon of the minced garlic, an optional add-in. 

SIDNEY: Done and done!

ELAINE: And Fran, I see you've cracked open the can of chipotle in adobo. Now, this recipe says hot and spicy in the title, so I'm going to ask you to go ahead and pick out two whole pepper, rip off the stem, and throw the rest in the bean mixture.

FRAN: So slimy. Okay. Stem is...off.

[PLOP OF PEPPER IN BOWL]

ELAINE: Now you just mix it up! Really mash and smash that pepper.

[FRAN FEROCIOUSLY STIRS AND SMASHES PEPPER]

FRAN: Smash smash smash smash smash! Smash! Is that mixed enough you think?

ELAINE: I certainly hope so. Now we just need to add flour and make these into patties.

SIDNEY: Mmm it's good. Hey Fran, try this.

FRAN: Yum. That is totally hot!

SIDNEY: Fran! 

FRAN: I meant spicy-hot, nerd.

SIDNEY: You're the nerd!

ELAINE: You guys are...too cute.

SIDNEY: Elaine, I have to pee. Come with?

ELAINE: Oh...I mean, we're almost done with the recipe and also you're a minor and also I think that's weird in a general sort of way? Also why me and not Fran?

FRAN: Sidney knows my pee schedule.

SIDNEY: Come on, Elaine. I just need you to show me where it is.

ELAINE: Alright, we're just gonna glide right over that pee-schedule thing. Come on, Sidney. 

[DOOR CLOSES]

[FAKE "BIG YELLOW TAXI" CONTINUES OUTSIDE]

ELAINE:...Restroom is over to the left of the reception desk.

SIDNEY: Elaine, confession time.

ELAINE: Oh no, I'm good--

SIDNEY: I'm totally in love with Fran. Is it obvious?

ELAINE: Well...

SIDNEY: Shut up, you're supposed to say no!

ELAINE: No?

SIDNEY: I mean, I hope it's a little obvious. I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask them out for months. It's the whole reason I joined the tennis team. I mean, I'm also mad-skilled at tennis because I've been playing in clubs practically my entire life. But Fran was the reason I started playing for the school team, which otherwise sucks.

ELAINE: For what it's worth, I think Fran seems very fond of you.

SIDNEY: So you think I should go for it?

ELAINE: Well, as long as--

SIDNEY: Okay okay fine! I'm going to do it. 

ELAINE: Alright. Are you going to use the restroom before we go back, or--

SIDNEY: That was just a ruse to talk to you alone. Jeez, Elaine, haven't you ever seen a high school romcom? Let's go back before I lose my nerve.

[PHONEY MITCHELL FADES]

[DOOR OPENS]

SIDNEY: Fran?

FRAN: Yes.

SIDNEY: I have something I need to ask you.

FRAN: No, I mean, yes. Yes, I'll go out with you! 

SIDNEY: What?

FRAN: Um...that little bluetooth mic is still on, and this program is transcribing straight to the laptop here so I kind of read everything you were saying. Sidney, I only stick with tennis because you're on the team. You're pretty much the weirdest person ever and you make me laugh every single day--even in school during the mandatory thirty minutes of silent ad-clicking!

ELAINE: I'll just...take this bean mixture here and start adding in some flour...

SIDNEY: Wow, Fran. I think you're pretty much the weirdest person ever too! You know everything about--everything! And you've got this smile that starts off so small and then all of a sudden bursts across your face and whenever I say something stupid and you smile like that, it makes me feel like I just made the perfect serve...like an ace. Like a perfect ace. 

FRAN: Your ace, my love.

ELAINE: I feel like there are a couple of tennis metaphors going over my head here. Looks like I need a little more flour...

[ELAINE MIXES]

SIDNEY: But Fran, you always made it seem like you thought of me as a friend. The podcast...

FRAN: I only suggested the idea for our podcast as a joke...on myself, I guess? Because the truth is, I've always wanted to date you.

ELAINE: Aw...lmost enough done...time to shape this mixture into patties.

[ELAINE MIXES]

SIDNEY: Wow, so are we, like, a thing now?

ELAINE: You guys are totally dating. 

FRAN/SIDNEY: Cool.

ELAINE: Yes. Very cool...I hate to make this all about me and my podcast, but what do you say we wrap this recipe up really quickly? 

SIDNEY: Yes! We're making burger patties...oh! When did these patties get made?

ELAINE: During your heart to heart! I just added enough flour--a cup, more or less--until the bean mixture stopped sticking to my fingers, and then shaped them up! We are ready to give them some heat! Just need a bit of oil to heat up in this one-quart saucepan here...

[GAS/LIGHTER WHOOSH]

SIDNEY: Whoa, what did you call this thing?

ELAINE: A hot plate--essentially a mini, portable stovetop. Very handy in these circumstances where electric power is not a given. 

SIDNEY: Is this...allowed?

ELAINE: Well, now you mention it, it's not exactly recommended indoors, and especially not for closed quarters such as this. Let's open the door for this part--just for a minute.

[DOOR OPENED]

[PHONEY MITCHELL VERY FAINT IN BACKGROUND]

FRAN: I think what Sid meant was, is this legal?

ELAINE: What do you mean?

FRAN: According to the Provisional State Chapter Nine-Six Addendum A sub one, heat sources directed in such a way as to incite chemical or physical changes to any matter are not permitted under any circumstances, except by select officials of the Provisional State and State-approved television personalities.

ELAINE: But...that would include not only breadmaking, but cooking in general!

SIDNEY: Fran should know. They always gets top marks in Civil Obedience. 

FRAN: Well, when you're crush's dad runs the provisional government, you want to be prepared.

SIDNEY: Aw, Fran.

ELAINE: Sidney's dad is...wait, but that would mean that your father's work resulted in Fran's father's--

SIDNEY: I know, right? We're like modern-day Romeo and Juliet.

[PHONEY MITCHELL STOPS]

ELAINE: I mean, it feels a little darker than even that, somehow, but I guess I'll leave that to you to figure out. What do you say we push through real fast here. We've got a bit of oil heating up at the bottom of this one quart saucepan, and the patties are ready to go. These just need to cook for about three minutes on each side.

SIDNEY: Hey! I think that song stopped playing. Shh...

ELAINE: You're right, it's quiet out there.

SIDNEY: We oughta hustle, Fran. 

ELAINE: No no, keep the x-ray vest on for your run home, I've got more!

SIDNEY: Elaine, you're the best! Hurry, Fran!

FRAN: Be sure to tune into "We're Not Dating" next Wednesday! Thanks for everything, Elaine!

ELAINE: Be safe, you two!

FRAN: Race ya!

SIDNEY: Not if I race you first!

[JANGLE OF OUTSIDE DOOR]

ELAINE: Listeners, we are not stagnant creatures. Our entire existence is change. Cooking is a tangible experience of that fact. Tasting, adjusting, learning, rationing, combining, assembling, perfecting. Every dish is a beautiful transformation--an example of how much we can alter and be altered in just a handful of minutes. We must remember that we are not only capable of enduring such change, but capable of embracing it fully. We are different now. We are not just friends, we are dating. We are not just a taco seasoning packet, we are useful for many things--anything, really! Sometimes, change takes a risk. Sometimes, we must be bold.

[PATTY SIZZLES]

ELAINE: I hope you'll embrace what changes come your way and tune in next week. This has been Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul. I am Elaine Martínez, not crying, hugging you goodnight. 

[OU TRO MUSIC]

END OF ACT II