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#it’s all extremely funny to the collective
tofixtheshadows · 3 days
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You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.
The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.
For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.
I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.
Like, this
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is funny.
But this?
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Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.
The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.
I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:
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Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.
And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.
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tartsinarat · 3 days
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As funny as it would be if this drawing was for an au of an au it’s not :/
It’s just Luz, King and Pip participating in the boiling isles version of Halloween, which is called the festival of Samhain there which is in fact the original name for Halloween and where it originated from in the toh universe rather than being totally Celtic like in the real world.
Here they’re collecting wood for the huge bonfire they’re going to make by the owl house and also making sure to avoid evil spirits whilst Pip explains the festival to Luz.
Luz originally thought that it was similar to the Halloween of the human realm until she found out that it was essentially a festival for the dead… which she found even more interesting because a) it’s such a lively celebration ironically enough and b) there’s costumes still involved and c) she’s eager to learn more about witch culture and thought it would be perfect to watch and dress up as characters from over the garden wall as a costume with Pip and King which they binged in a day.
It’s one of the few boiling isles holidays that Pip enjoys because he enjoys sneaking off from work to go watch the bonfires in Bonesbrough with King.
Also it’s the first year that Eda has allowed Pip to make a bonfire with King helping too as Luz is tasked with making sure these two don’t go crazy and set everything on fire but it’s also a treat for the three because of all the rough times they’ve been having lately.
Honestly despite the morbid nature of this “episode” it’s actually extremely wholesome and serves as a nice bonding moment between the three and Eda before everything goes to chaos.
This is because Samhain marks the transition from light to darkness as it marks the beginning of winter and the new year in the boiling isles calendar, which means Luz has also been in the demon realm for a year as well as having a symbolic meaning of the au going from dark to darker.
It ends with a nice moment of the owl fam just relaxing and watching the bonfire as hooty fights and eats an evil spirit in the background.
Also here’s a totally live image of king by the finished bonfire…..
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Just a simple GH au masterpost
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umbrellacam · 1 day
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*steeples fingers and stares at my tablet with gimlet eyes*
so. Road to NML. You mean to tell me that the reason the rest of the country, Congress, and the President himself decided to write Gotham off, blow the bridges, and isolate everyone left - all criminals and asylum lunatics and 'undesirables', of course - was in large part due to *checks notes* a satanic rock star's unnatural, irresistible charisma and cult-like media manipulations aimed at dooming the city for his own benefit?
and that in order to find out what actually happens to this villain, who disappears from the Batman and 'Tec storylines...I'd have to *checks notes* read Azrael's event issues?
....yeah, PASS. I only included JPV's book on my reading list when I absolutely had to (*cough* whenever Cass pops up *cough*), so it's off to the wiki summaries for me!
...but okay, on the one hand I find it very funny how thoroughly fandom has excised this demonic media influencer aspect from the collective consciousness of NML - or at least it had never made its way to me via either fic or fandom posts. I know how few people read comics in general in this fandom, and even for those who do, NML is a Beast that only a percentage have tackled (see: me just starting to pick away at it!), so honestly it's not that surprising.
and like it can easily be left out of the story and still leave it coherent lmao!! One can certainly argue things are in fact neater that way; certainly it's not something that would ever be kept (or at least not in the same form) if NML were adapted to another medium, except as perhaps a normal media demagogue (or a montage of them).
but on the other hand...hmm. Thinking about Hurricane Katrina hitting all of six years after the NML storyline played out. And the debate over whether funds should be used for reconstructing New Orleans and other massively damaged areas. And people around the country wondering if New Orleans would or should be rebuilt at all. Or if a vibrant, historic city would just be basically wiped off the map.
I know this is a conversation that happens everywhere and every time a major disaster wrecks a city. There are always huge fights over disaster aid and funding allocations of any kind.
but man. It's something to see this fictionalized depiction in such close proximity to a real life disaster that paralleled it so strongly, and to know that - yes, there are always people who Do Not Abandon Their Homes and work to reclaim them. Yes, massive amounts of aid (federal and otherwise) and federal reconstruction funding did get dispensed. Yes, people cared, and yes, we rebuilt.
so...maybe we do actually need the demonic social media influencer's evil powers in order to comic book logic explain how everyone in the country turned their backs on Gotham and created No Man's Land.
like - no, it's not necessary. the narrative would work without it. and yet...
the premise imagines - requires? - a significantly more callous, selfish populace. Still plausible and compelling! Possibly even stronger as a story since the turnaround for No Man's Land still hinges on winning the country over to open Gotham back up, let aid in, and rebuild. But. You do have to start from - kind of a bleaker take on humanity?
it also kind of reminds me of what scintillyyy pointed out a few weeks ago about Dick killing the Joker, and how actually there's an important comic book superpower interaction going on there, too, with Rancor present massively amplifying Dick's hate and anger to push him over the edge.
but so few people ever notice or remember that and it certainly isn't one of those things that gets transmitted via fandom osmosis. (It was news to me!!) People focus on Dick breaking down and letting loose solely due to being pushed too far.
and that's extremely compelling on its own! It is! Just like the no-satanic-Nick-Scratch NML.
just thinking about fandom's tendency to ellide the supernatural or powered influences that are canonically affecting a situation, in order to explore/focus on more purely humanistic explanations or motivations...that actually end up being darker than what we might reasonably expect from real life, or from a character's typical values.
like it's part wanting to brush off comic book nonsense, part wanting to dive into gritty realism (that's not always realistic), part not having all the information because of learning things secondhand so you construct the most reasonable explanation...idk it's just interesting.
anyway.
more importantly: Dick and Tim are adorable in 'Tec 727-729!! Especially love them trading off yelling each other's names in fear/alarm, and also trading off protecting each other - Dick's "You hurt that kid and you're gonna be eating through a tube!" and Tim's clever solo rescue of a thoroughly captive Dick via clever use of a voice modulator and a two-way radio. The Boys 😊
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marisatomay · 1 year
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tom brady is so funny because he could have retired last season at a nice height while everyone in sports was out there sucking his dick calling him the GOAT but nooooooooooo he had to throw a fit and renege on his retirement to play one more season because some sports journalist on twitter broke that he was retiring before he could say it himself and now look at him. his hot supermodel wife left him, he had a losing record, lost the wildcard game, choked so badly in his final game in front of tom cruise that cruise left early, everyone knows he’s a little bitch, his team hates him, gronk already retired, and he’s stuck announcing his retirement via a front facing direct to camera video on twitter. the eagles are back in the super bowl. couldn’t have scripted it better myself. mwah.
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I think the thing that feels really revolutionary about Gideon Nav's lesbianism is that she's not a lesbian in opposition to anything. She doesn't like women instead of men. It's just that her entire sexual world is female.
A lot of time having a gay character seems to necessitate a scene in which they confirm emphatically that they do not like the opposite gender. Gideon doesn't need to do that. She just talks about women all the time (and, lesbian character who is openly and unashamedly horny and actively pursuing women in general outside of once-in-a-lifetime romance, that's its own post entirely) and the absence of any mention of men makes it obvious that she's not interested in them.
And, as a queer person constantly having to explain WHY I don't want this or that, it's really refreshing to see a queer character who is so totally focused on what they DO want and not what they don't.
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humming-fly · 2 years
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No see, the fact Ed, Al, and Roy were allowed to leave the room without even that much added supervision is great story telling becuase it shows how cocky the homunculus and father were.
Bradley continously refers to humans as weaker, dumber, and all together inferior to homunculus. So do the other homunculus.
Aka, the homunculus only failed becuase they were too cocky in their plans and ended up fucking themselves over.
this is true but you wanna know what the most horrendous thing is? father very nearly Actually Won because these motherfuckers kEPT COMING BACK LIKE FATHER WAS RIGHT THAT THEY'D GET INVOLVED AND RETURN TO CENTRAL DUDE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO BOTHER WITH THE HASSLE OF LOCKING THEM UP THESE IDIOT HUMANS SASHAYED INTO PLACE JUST FINE
literally the ONLY reason father didn't win is because he wasn't keeping a close enough eye on hohenheim which is truly ironic because of all the humans that father Should've been able to predict the movements of it was the one that he was actually friends with at one point in time and knowing arakawa that's some additional level of meta analysis about friendship and trust and manipulation or w/e but really all this to say while the homunculi are idiots the humans they were trying to wrangle really did not do any better
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sometimes when im bored i imagine various ted lasso characters on taskmaster and that cheers me up
#i imagine for one of the new years specials or a charity thing or something#so many golden opportunities. trent would be so fucking funny#whatever cool steady reputation he had is gone thoroughly imploded#[mulan meme] now all of england knows you're a dork#hard to seem cool and collected when everyone's seen you do a team task with ted lasso and utterly fail#but (covered in mud and hair a mess) ridiculously crumble into giggles at the end#(depending on the team task they'd either do extremely well or extremely badly lmao)#and tedependent brain aside also just like. literally any of the characters#except beard he'd be too good at it he'd inexplicably do it all and face the taskmaster down with no facial expression change at all /j#but like. roy. GOLDEN#dani? BEAUTIFUL. completely immune to cutting commentary. even greg daivies is charmed.#JAMIE? FUCKING JAMIE? CAN YOU IMAGINE?#jan maas. beautiful.#BUMBERCATCH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#THERE'S SO MANY GOOD FUCKING OPTIONS#and i need the 'everyone tied their dicks together' thing to come up. please#hang on wait also now i had the cursed thought of someone comparing led tasso to The Taskmaster but that makes beard alex horne which is#the worst thought i've ever had#or would that be boach ceard?#oh my god fucking. rebecca. can you imagine rebecca on taskmaster. i think someone would die#there are just endless good options here#ted in general outside of the ted/trent context too my god it'd be so good#it's all so funny i love this thought exercise#ted lasso#ted lasso tv
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ambreiiigns · 1 year
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just spent a good 20 minutes crying my eyes out over so far away by avenged sevenfold i have regressed to when i was 13 and extremely attached to this band
#i'm still extremely attached to them and forever will be#i grew up w rock & metal & shit bc my parents were cool but a7x was the first band i found by myself yk. like. it wasn't passed down to me#like my mom passed me nirvana & queen & bowie my dad passed me metallica & pink floyd & dire straits#my beloved uncle passed me iron maiden &. also nirvana & rancid#guns n roses was handed my collectively by all three#in short. avenged sevenfold was home grown. yk. they were my own thing#my first thing that Really got me into metal & the likes#the first time i had my Own tastes & preferences#and i was hyperfixated REAL bad for like maybe close to two years it was sooo intense i loved them sooo much#i still do!! i will still call them my faves!!! idc!! they're so special to me#i remember i found welcome to the family in a like. creepypasta mva or smth. funny that all the first few bands i liked i found thru#some creepypasta bullshit on youtube or smth. mcr fob AND p!atd i all got from creepypasta for Sure#anyway. embarassing. but i was obsessed w welcome to the family for a while#and eventually decided i wanted to know who made it and maybe listen to more stuff by them#and it was my mom's bday so august 16th when i went on their wikipedia page read the Whole thing and before i even knew much abt them or#their music or whatever i was crying so hard over the section talking abt the rev's death like i knew him personally#and i feel like that was the sign. the bad omen. that i would be down bad from then on#and i was down bad#and i listened to all their songs. i watched all the shows. i knew every piece of footage that existed of them by heart#and you have to understand by that point the only other thing i had been as obsessed with were hp & lotr#so it was still Fucky to me. to be into something that intensely#in short a7x truly fucking shaped me as a person fr and i will be thankful & fond of them forever and i avoid so far away like the plague#bc i know it gets to me. it really does#bc they were friends since they were like 10yo idiot kids yk before there was ever a band involved#and as someone who's had p much the same friend group since kindergarten#just THINKING abt losing a friend i've had for so long fucking kills me. and i can't imagine how bad it had to be for them#it's a very. empath moment of me ik ik but i can't stand it it gets to me really bad#oh nay
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honestlyvan · 1 year
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one of my kinks is outdoor sex, expecially when people are gritty and sweaty from working so hard, and because Xenoblade 3 has a mechanic where characters get dirtier over time there's so much potential to explore this in fics
It's true! Everyone is so gross all the time! :D
It's also especially fun because the gang gets to see each other in a more natural environment as they're still learning to navigate their attraction for each other. They're doing lots of those important bonding activities while rolling around in mud and hiking for miles a day, and then when they occasionally hit a colony or a campsite with running water and everyone gets to take a bath and clean themselves, it's all weird again, because they've never seen each other that clean except when they were still enemies XD
Like I'm just saying, that's one way to develop a kink. It all gets tangled up, they have this familiarity with each other's bodies in a more realistically mussed-up way, signs of hard work, relaxation always paired with seeing the rest of the gang also relaxing... It's very cute, the reverse of the whole "seeing your partner dolled up makes the 👀⤴⤴⤴", I'm deeply amused by the idea that they try to fool around while, for example, having a long layover in the City and they're all just like "yeah no, this is weird, it's not that you're unsexy to me, but.. :/ :\"
The comedic potential is there :3c I do not dislike it.
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lovevalley45 · 9 months
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being an english major seems like fun until u realize u have to get like nine books to read and you just look at everything on ur reading list like. well i guess that's waiting
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The voyage west at the end of Return of the King is extremely funny to me, because just look at who's on board. You've got:
Frodo Baggins, hero of the Shire, in need of healing but also excited to see Valinor and meet the legendary elves who live there, a gentle soul
Elrond Halfelven, as kind as a summer, looking forward to peace west of the sea, probably wants to go chill out in a cottage with his wife for the next thousand years
Which seems fine. And then we get to everyone else.
Gandalf, cheeky bastard who's gotten so used to being a weird old wizard in Middle-Earth that's he's forgotten what Maia are supposed to act like, will immediately cause problems
Bilbo Baggins, noted storyteller, definitely planning to break into Aule's halls to see his dwarf friends, will ask all the elves weird questions and then sing about their lives and deaths in front of them, will immediately cause problems
Galadriel, who came to Aman half for Celebrian and Elrond's sake and half to taunt all her cousins about being the only one of them to survive the First Age, enjoys causing problems, will immediately cause many problems
(Also, to be clear, these are not three isolated problem-causers, they absolutely spent the entire trip to Valinor actively planning to give Amanyar society and the Valar an aneurysm.)
I just love the idea of Elrond, now reunited with Celebrian, and Frodo happily having tea with Elwing and Earendil, with nothing to interrupt them but the gentle sounds of the tides.
Meanwhile Galariel, Bilbo, and Gandalf are collectively bullying Mandos into releasing Maglor Feanorian from the halls because:
Bilbo wants to read him his translation of the Noldolante, which is written as a cheery Hobbit drinking song
Elrond always complained about how Gandalf and Maglor were both insufferably vague about advice and Gandalf needs to make sure he's more infuriating than Maglor as a matter of his wizardly pride
He still owes Galadriel money
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surge-the-tenrec · 1 year
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i think sage and rossums dynamic could be like. genuinely very uncomfortable but also i do think sage would come up to her like "big sister do you have any games on your phone" and rossum would be like
"What"
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predestinatos · 6 months
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too cold | MV1 ⋆꙳❅ ‧*❆ ₊⋆
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pairing: max verstappen x female!reader
summary: stormy weather leads to stormy thoughts about a years long friendship.
tags: best friends to lovers, soo cheesy, fluff, giddy max, super whipped for reader!!, wearing his sweater, just so much softness!
author's note: i dreamt about max for some reason and he's been living in my head rent free so... i had to let this out!! hope you like it. it's a short cute thing so..!
word count: 3.5k
warnings: -
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It was cold and stormy that day. You had expected it, the forecasts all telling you the same thing, your hair completely tangled in itself as soon as you stepped out of the house into the car.
You planned it all, including getting there earlier, so you could spend as much time with Max as possible – you never skipped the pleasant silence of his presence at least once a week. What you hadn’t planned was for you two to get carried away with taking buzzfeed quizzes and personality tests to the point where it was dark outside, the storm more aggressive, more threatening, and more dangerous.
“Shit,” you muttered when the wind outside made the windows tremble with extreme force, their sound almost like a warning voice in the night. “How am I going home like this?” you asked yourself out loud, desperate and scared, as Max completed yet another ‘What’s Your Mental Age Based on Your Choice of Cutlery’ quiz. He glanced outside nonchalantly, almost carelessly, as if the question was ridiculously easy to answer, close to ironic.
Before going back to the seriousness of the questions at hand, he shrugged, shoulders going up and down in explicit tranquility. “You can stay over” he stated, his finger hovering over a weirdly shaped spoon that said ‘shit stirrer’ on its surface. You let out a breath that indicated his joke was funny yet not useful in the slightest given your current dilemma, to which he looked at you and laughed back, assuming you were amused at the choice of teaspoon he had just made.  “Max, I’m serious” you voiced your urgency and fear with those words. “Me too” he continued, eyes glued on the screen, yet slightly confused at your own comment.
At your audible sigh and attempt to get up from his bed, where you comfortably laid scrolling through your phone for options, he turned around from his chair which was facing the screen. “You’re not leaving” he said, in a concerned tone of a friend who refused to let you be consumed by the rapidly increasing rain. “I don’t understand what the matter is” he continued as he saw you searching through his room for your things, messily scattered on the floor, reminiscent of childhood times spent together.
You merely looked at him in response, the answer obvious to you but seemingly not to him, only hitting him hard in the face as a joke he couldn’t help but laugh at seconds later. “You always slept here” he said, astonished at your reluctance and apparent timidness. “Yeah, Max. When we were 11” you protested, tucking some hair behind your ear as you looked for your charger. “Plus, I don’t have a pajama, or spare underwear” your arms now crossed across your chest, mimicking his own, a baffled smile on his lips.
“You can wear one of my sweaters. And like, my boxers, or something” this made your mouth drop in ridiculous surprise, a fear in your eyes which he didn’t understand. “I’m serious! It’s better than you going out with this storm!” his arm pointed towards the window, the view outside a paid actor because a lightning appeared violently before both of you. With a winning grin, he finished his argument with a “C’mon I’ll let you choose the outfit.”
Opening the drawers, you let yourself take a look at the collection of multicolored sweaters organized neatly. Your eyes landed on a grey one, which looked a bit worn out but comfortable at the same time, its marks of usage being a testament to its quality. You grabbed it and noticed that it smelled like Max, like the years of friendship you two shared. “The boxers are in the other drawer” Max interrupted your thoughts, yet his indifferent air made you less awkward about this situation, almost like it was normal that this was happening, like you were both 10 again, popcorn being prepared in the small kitchen next door.
You let yourself randomly choose some of his underwear, trying your best not to look too much at it, knowing little to nothing about how to even begin choosing such a thing for yourself. The strong wind whistled outside, and Max’s fingers hit the keyboard, creating a soothing lullaby.
“I’m- uh-… going then” you said, making your way towards the bathroom as he happily nodded, the familiarity of the house being a known fact for both of you.
The truth was, Max missed you. A lot. He missed hanging out with you all night, watching really bad films and playing silly videogames, drinking some beers and enjoying yourselves. Lately, he hadn’t had the time to do all these things, let alone doing them with you, and even though he did not plan this storm in the slightest, he was glad for it. The rain came as a reminder that you two had a year long friendship you could still enjoy, the sound blending with the one coming from the bathroom as you turned on the shower.
Sleeping over only got weird given the fact that Max was a boy and you were a girl, but it shouldn’t have been like that. In his mind, nothing changed, and nothing should have to change – he still wanted you as close as he did when you two watched scary video compilations on youtube and spent all night hiding under the covers and whispering in an attempt to not ‘awake the big monster’.
He still wanted to spend time with you when you were 16 and started talking about how cute his friends were, asking him if they were single or not as you put a lollipop in your mouth and painted your nails in colorful amusement.
He still wanted you to sleep over even when his girlfriends told him they didn’t quite like the fact that he was so close with you, that he seemed to want to be with you more than with them, that he dropped everything as soon as you texted him a slightly unusual text.
And it was normal, and alright, because you were best friends, because you knew each other better than your own selves, because you’d recognize his laugh in the middle of a crowd even with noise cancelling headphones, and he would recognize the smile you made when you were flustered even if he was blindfolded.
It was also normal for him to smile to himself and feel the happiest he has felt in a while, because he missed you, and you were staying over and nothing would have felt better than knowing he had a night full of your presence.
Meanwhile, you stood in his all-too familiar shower, accepting the fact that he had no conditioner, and a shampoo would have to do for the night. Simultaneously, this made you reflect on the clear fact that he had probably had no stable, consistent, female presence in his life in a while. As the liquid dropped in your hand and you brought your hands to your hair, thoughts about previous relationships of his flooded your mind.
They never ended well, and the guilt you felt because of it was ever present. Max was the best friend you could’ve asked for, because he always picked you, no matter what. In fact, he gave it no thought nor justification, not to you or his previous relationships. He accepted the fact that you were his priority as a given, something so natural as breathing, as blood pumping through his veins. You couldn’t deny you did the same. Previous partners of yours weren’t too fond of his constant need to assess and approve of them, of how he was your emergency contact whenever anything happened, how you made sure you spent time with him at least once a week.
Feeling the foam forming on your scalp, you remembered the times where you two bathed together, the innocence of gone times flying through your head with fondness. Of course, you two grew, and while you never broke the bond that formed between you, it was also harder to continue certain traditions you maintained.
Your teenage years were filled with angst and some bickering over how uncomfortable he made your dates, or how all he did was talk about girls when you two were together. You used each other as diaries and confidantes, keeping secrets in a closed vault made of memories. Nothing really had changed besides your ages, and none of you were dating, or at least it did not seem like it.
As you washed your body with lavender scented soap, you realized this is what you were missing – the comfortability of being the most like yourself you could possibly be, alongside him.
Max stared at the “You Are 14 Years Old!” result on his computer, reading the in depth description on how that one fork gave his age away, when he heard your shout for his name coming from the now foggy bathroom, the place now looking more like Silent Hill or a liminal space. Removing one side of his headphones off, his voice echoed throughout the apartment “Yes?”, filled with softness and worry, a completely unknown care for you which wasn’t displayed by anyone else but him. Smiling to yourself, you replied, “do you seriously only own one bath towel?”
Removing both of his headphones off now, with realization hitting him and he jumped from his seat, he ran towards the drawer that possessed all the other towels he stored in organized fashion. “Shit! No! Sorry! I’m on my way!” he said urgently, grabbing one as he ran towards the bathroom, opening its door and popping only one arm in, his eyes facing the wall but also closed with affirming need to reassure you that he wasn’t looking, refused to look, would never even consider to do such a thing.
You pulled the fabric off his hand as you thanked him with a soft giggle, his previous nonchalant attitude vanishing upon the thought of seeing you naked – which you weren’t, and he would’ve realized this had he considered the fact that the bathroom possessed ONE towel, currently wrapped around your now wet body. Shivering with cold, you got yourself dry as fast as you could, while Max sat back down in his chair, cursing to himself at his clumsiness and lack of thought.
Examining yourself in the mirror as dried your hair off (after several minutes of looking for the hairdryer, not wanting to put Max through the whole ordeal of performing the biggest demonstration of respect towards one’s privacy ever witnessed) you noticed something you hadn’t before. This simple, yet incriminating item put into question your previous thoughts about Max’s lack of companionship in his home, your eyebrows furrowed and your mouth turning downwards at the thought that he was hiding something from you.
On the tiny little cup sitting on the sink, there were two toothbrushes. They were carefully put together in a magical arrangement of colors that indicated that one had to be able to tell them apart, like each had its own owner. Suddenly, the whole idea of sleeping over – hell, of wearing Max’s clothes – seemed ridiculously selfish. You had done it before, but you were adults now, and with adulthood came a sense of responsibility and respect that hit you in the face like a slap, the simple idea of an innocent sleepover with your best friend sounding absolutely childish and ridiculous.
“Max?” you called out again, a deep breath escaping your lungs as you sat down on the toilet seat, hair still slightly damp, towel still wrapped around your body upon your refusal to put his clothes on. “Yes?” he replied once again, a feeling of déjà vu invading your thoughts, a repetition of mere seconds before yet with rose tinted glasses off.
 “I think it’s best if I just go home,” you muttered, even though you hadn’t moved. Realistically, the idea of going out there terrified you, but perhaps not as much as staying over, given the current situation. Putting your underwear back on after showering felt dirty, but perhaps wearing his clean one after noticing another one’s presence in his room, his life, his thoughts, made you feel even dirtier.
“Come on, I bet your outfit looks amazing” he said jokingly, assuming you were embarrassed about your current look, trying to lighten up the mood with teasing reassurance. Getting up once again, he stood near the bathroom door, head close to it as if trying to listen to the fabric against your skin, some hint of your own amused presence. All he heard was silence, one so unbelievably loud he felt something off, something wrong. “Can I come in?” he asked, his voice now more careful, more tender, and more concerned.
You only murmured in allowance, and noticed the doorknob turn as he stepped inside. “What’s up?” he asked, his eyes revealing deep concern with slight embarrassment over the painting you two were probably creating. Him, pajama pants and hoodie on, glasses now slightly foggy; you, with droplets falling down your hair as you looked down, hugging the towel tightly against your body. “I don’t want to cause any trouble” you said as you unconsciously looked back at the toothbrushes which now seemed to stare at you both accusingly, judgingly.
“Why would you- Oh,” he interrupted himself, his gaze following yours towards the same spot, his look going from confused to serious to utterly humored. “This?” he asked again, grabbing the small toothbrush from the cup, its cable a pretty yellow shade. “What’s your favorite color again?” he continued, waving the object in front of your face as you stared at it in confusion.
Looking up, you replied simply “yellow- oh,” it was your turn to interrupt yourself, now realizing how you had almost forgotten your childhood promise, yet surprised as well at the fact that he had kept it after all these years, the innocence of the act causing your heart to hurt slightly.
“It’s always been here. I mean, not the same one, obviously, but… a spare toothbrush” he explained, even though he did not have to, his hand playfully messing your hair before he headed bac towards the door. “Get dressed, silly. We have films to watch” his warm voice instructed you with tenderness before he closed the door behind him.
Stepping out of the bathroom, finally dry and dressed, you forced Max to close his eyes before looking at you. “Don’t make fun of me or I’ll leave” you threatened jokingly, as his eyes remained tightly shut with his hands in front of them dramatically. “I won’t I promise!” he claimed, yet he was already laughing, the sound of it reminding you of the years of togetherness you both shared.
“Okay, you can look” you finally gave your permission, as he took his hands off his face and blinked fast, the lights suddenly blinding him. At first, he just stared at you, expression absolutely unreadable. Then, he burst into laughter, apologizing as his giggles filled the bedroom. “I look ridiculous” you complained, the long sleeves covering your hands and flopping lazily as you did so. “No you look adorable!” he tried to protest, laughter insistent on making its way through his lips, his eyes shining with happy tears. “Adorably ridiculous” you continued, rolling your eyes and throwing yourself on the bed defeatedly, your head buried in his pillow, filled with the scent of him.
Knowing your mood would change soon, Max merely smiled to himself as he started putting a film on, the choice being the Twilight saga – easy to watch, entertaining, fun, and he could tease you about it constantly, pretending he didn’t enjoy it himself. Bags of jellybeans hit your head as he threw them towards you, in an attempt to wake you from your moody attitude. “C’mon grumpy I have beer” he poked you as he sat on the bed as well, pressing play and opening a bag which he waved in front of your face as you got up lazily.
“’I know what you are’ ‘Say it. Out loud. Say it!’ ‘Vampire’” you said the lines along with the film, echoing each and every intonation and expression. Popping a bear shaped jellybean in his mouth as he took another sip of his beer, Max interrupted your acting session by saying “can you imagine how awkward it would be if it was something else entirely and he would just be like… ‘uh no’” and laughing to himself. Your arm flew to his as you punched it angrily, despite the fact that you were giggling to yourself.
Something about getting you slightly on your nerves while also making you smile made Max feel almost at home, in a safe space without comparison, only available to him when you were around. He felt himself in a constant state of meditation whenever he was around you, his breathing naturally adjusting itself to match yours.
Instinctively, and not out of the ordinary for any of you, he grabbed your hand and played with it softly, his fingers feeling the soft texture of your skin and pinching it with playful tenderness. You never questioned it, and neither did he, this need you two had to display affection more than most friends did, the need to always be in some sort of contact with each other, to feel each other’s warmth and presence closely. Without taking his eyes off of the film, seemingly very intensely focused on Edward’s skin of a killer, he spoke up. “You don’t look ridiculous,” he said, as you held your gaze on the film, yet laughing at his comment, expecting a joke to be made about how what’s on the screen is way more embarrassing than you in his underwear. Yet he said something completely different. “You always look pretty. Very pretty” his voice was soft as he now looked at you, and you felt his gaze on your skin, your cheeks, your eyelashes, yet refused to look at him and face whatever was happening in that night.
The windows rattled once again, breaking the momentary spell that hovered in the room, hypnotizing both of you with the haze of uncertain feelings. You heard his breathing as well, heavy and nervous now, his heart racing and yours matching his, maybe because you were so deeply connected or maybe because your feelings and his were now the same shade of complexity.
 You wondered if this is why you had stopped sleep overs together. Perhaps it was the fear of facing the fact that things were not as simple and easy to brush off when the clock hit 3am and his hand was on his and your head on his shoulder and you had no intention of moving. And he shared these same thoughts, realizing how that letting go of you right now would probably be the worst thing that could happen, the scariest thought that could possibly cross his mind.
All this happened in fractions of second, too short for any of you to truly acknowledge what was happening, his voice interrupting both of your thoughts as he spoke once again, “obviously not as pretty as Edward Cullen but-“ to which you rolled your eyes and laughed. “I bet he’d look better in your sweatshirt” you said, another sip of beer falling on your lips.
“Impossible” he replied, a smile on his lips, his eyes finally meeting yours and then taking your whole appearance in, your cheeks blushing shyly at how attentively he looked at you, at how his gaze seemed so tender and soft. A sudden urgency to feel his lips on yours filled your thoughts with sheer intensity that terrified you. You hadn’t seen Max that way, hadn’t considered it nor question it before, not even when your dates and boyfriends accused you of things, not when your friends commented on how you looked at him. Yet in that exact moment, something shifted completely, perhaps stirred by the storm outside, perhaps because it simply felt right in that moment to feel wrong.
“Can I kiss you?” he suddenly asked. The innocence of the question made you giggle, the contrast between his soft and careful voice and his adult look with a week old stubble making you giddy and timid as you nodded.
His lips touched yours with caution, yet with undeniable fondness that made you question why this hadn’t happened before. You felt his smile in between the kiss, the satisfaction of finally breaking this unknown wall that had existed between you for so long, and which you remained so unaware about.
Pulling away, Max’s eyes stared into yours before moving to the screen, a satisfied smile on his now slightly redder than usual lips, your own face mimicking his. “Edward Cullen could never kiss as well as you” he whispered, earning himself another soft punch, followed by 3 more films worth of kissing.
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atskiruma · 1 year
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his attempts at courting you
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expl: he finds himself thinking about you more often, wanting to seek you out consistently, and giving you numerous gifts every day to see you smile
a/n: it has come to my attention that the last ff i wrote, (snow day) was not very well depicted for all readers to enjoy, i want to apologize for that and promise that i will get better at trying to make sure everyone is able to read it and enjoy it, my writings are targeted for all | unfortunately, i can not edit it right now seeing as there's a poll going on, but once that poll is finished i will change my wording in the ff
ask me anything masterlist
second person writing no pronouns used
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Zhongli often felt himself thinking about you more often while he was working around the parlor. Even seeking out your name in conversations and listening more attentively when someone was speaking about you. It didn't confuse him though, he was aware of his interest in you.
You opened up the warmth in his heart and welcomed him kindly every time you two saw each other. It made him happy to see you happy, and this was evident when flowers were delivered directly to your door one sunny afternoon.
"These are for you," The mail lady said before turning around and walking away to do more deliveries. You didn't even get to ask who they were from before she was gone. Staring down at the bouquet of tiger lilies in front of you, you could only assume that the bright orange and black colors could depict a certain someone's hair color.
It was a nice piece on your kitchen counter and went well with the other decorations spiraling around your house. That was, until the next morning, you were greeted again with another gift. A bright orange vase to compliment the tiger lilies you received the other day. It was funny, why was he going out of his way to send you such nice gifts?
You finally managed to confront him when you saw Childe and Zhongli sitting together on the seats of an outside cafe. Walking over and waving to the both of them. They greeted you back, and small talk was given for only a couple minutes.
"I actually came over here to thank Zhongli," This caught his attention, and he turned to look up at you, "I really loved the flowers you sent and the vase goes really well with them too!" You said while smiling.
He nodded back at you, seemingly collecting himself extremely quickly at the fact you figured out so quick who it was. "I'm glad you liked them," He said.
"I came to give you this in return," You said," "I know it's probably not as extravagant as the ones you gave me, but I like it." Handing over the small gift box, he opened it and smiled softly at the item. It was a small keychain, nothing special, and it was decorated with a lovely orange seem.
That same keychain would be hung up right next to his bedframe, along with variant letters you sent him on the table accompanying it.
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Diluc was someone who took courting another person seriously. He found it tradition since his father had spoken so much of it when Diluc was younger. He always wanted to treat the one he loved with respect and be as much of a gentleman as possible.
This was why you were taking a stroll with him through his grapevines on a sunny afternoon. He offered for you to come down to the Winery a couple days ago and you had just gotten around to accepting his offer. His hand rested on your back as he took you through multiple different paths and explained everything. As you strolled, he talked about things concerning the vine, his profits, the seasons they needed to be planted, etc.
You smiled at him, knowing it was something he took dear to his heart, and listened very attentively to what he was saying. In reality, Diluc was really hoping that all he was talking about didn't bore you in any way.
Then, the next couple of hours were spent sitting in his large dining room, eating food made by the cooks in his home. It was nice, and you were very happy that he wanted to spend this much time with you. Diluc even found himself watching you eat here and there, asking you if the food was good or if you needed anything else in the time being.
After everything was over, and the night sky shined over the two of you as you stood outside his doors, he leaned down and pressed a small kiss to your hand. Telling you how much of a pleasure it was to have you here, and how he wished you could stay longer.
Diluc even offered to walk you home, tediously not taking no for an answer, he reached down to take your hand and hold it the whole walk home.
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Alhaitham was very closed off when he first met you, he was closed off with anyone in general. He found it strange that you always seemed to be there when he was thinking about you, and when his eyes would try and search a room in the akademiya for you.
He realized that something had to be done about this, so, he did what any other raging nerd would do, and researched about it.
You also found it odd when you'd see him looking at you from across the library, or holding the door open for you whenever you'd walking behind him. Alhaitham always seemed like the guy who only cared about his own, yet he was so evident in helping you out here and there.
Helping you when you'd be confused about a book, rewording your essays to make them better. Alhaitham seemed to want to assist you with almost everything. This was no different than today.
You found yourself back at the library looking down at a long-written parchment on the forest rangers' activities. Trying to figure out how you could make this work in the essay you were conducting on Sumeru's forest.
This was when you heard the chair scrap right next to you, and looked up from where you had originally been focused. Alhaitham took his seat next to you, slightly taking up more space than necessary with his manspreading.
"Do you need help with that? It looks like a longer report than usual for you."
"Longer than usual?" You shot back, "Are you saying that I'm not capable of reading this?" His eyes widened a bit and he instantly tried to retort his original statement. "No, no, I thought- Well- You know you usually read shorter reports in order to get more details. I didn't think you'd take something this large to account."
His confession made you smile, and you leaned in closer, "How'd you know how I like my reports?" At the response with your cheeky grin, a blush formed on his cheeks before he looked away.
"Scholars are supposed to be attentive, it's natural to know a few things you prefer in order to work best with you."
The response he sent back your way caused you to roll your eyes and turn back to what you were originally doing. "To answer your question, no, I do not need help, but thank you for offering."
That didn't seem to make him budge, because he kept sitting there watching you copy down and write words from the book.
"You misspelled climate."
The sound of a book colliding with his head echoed throughout the library.
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Ayato enjoyed your company, a lot, so much that he seeks you out anytime he and his sister go down to festivals or strolls through the city. He always wanted to start up a conversation with you, and if anyone else walked by anytime he'd be down there, Ayato would be right next to you listening with a smile at whatever you said.
Ayaka loved you too and found it amusing that her brother was so interested in you. She often found herself trying to spark up conversations with you, asking if her older brother proposed yet in a joking manner.
You laughed it off, Ayato was nice but you were sure he had other rich and important people to concern his love life with. He was just a very nice man to talk with here and there, and you didn't seem to notice that you were one of the few he'd actually seek out.
That was, until, every time he saw you, he came with some form of jewelry or expensive item to give you. Asking you how your day was, what you were doing, and if you wanted to come to spend some time up at the estate with him.
"What about Ayaka?" You said with a tilt of your head in confusion. He smiled back and said, "I'm sure she'd rather stay down here and explore more of the shops.
Ayaka would have loved to come along, but before she could even turn around, the two of you were already heading back up to the estate.
He catered to you, made sure you were comfortable, and even asked if you'd like anything from his personal chefs. It was a bit much to handle, seeing as you weren't used to living so luxurious, but he was very nice about it all and understood.
The catering didn't stop after that day either, more and more people began to wonder why the Kamisato siblings were spending so much more time outside their palace. Ayaka once mentioned that you loved a certain color, and the next day Ayato was handing you a box with that color, and a necklace with the pearl containing that color too.
He even found himself marching over to you when he saw someone speaking to you in a more flirtatious matter. Moving next to you and asking if everything was alright while his hand wrapped around your own.
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luvgumii · 4 months
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inexperienced!choso
tw: friends to fuck buddies, inexperience, slight corruption, somnophilia
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inexperienced!choso who never knew what this feeling was whenever you smiled at him, but he knew that he loved it.
inexperienced!choso who from then on always wanted to see you smile, or even laugh. doing his best to do things that made you smile, like him being funny, or him buying you things that you like.
inexperienced!choso who realised this feeling was getting a lot less innocent when his pants would strain at the sight of your nipples poking through your shirt.
inexperienced!choso who didn't know how to deal with the painful ache in his dick, and spent the nights rubbing his thighs together in hopes to relieve himself.
inexperienced!choso did a little research and was extremely embarrassed when he found out what the throbbing and leaking of his dick meant, who also started avoiding you due to how ashamed he was.
inexperienced!choso who also did a little research on how to relieve the ache, now spending the nights fucking his cock into his fist, his cum spraying onto his abs.
inexperienced!choso was extremely suprised when you came to his apartment, claiming that the two of you had started talking less and that you missed him.
inexperienced!choso who couldn't say no to you, feeling guilty at the sight of your sad face, no matter how cute it was.
inexperienced!choso who let you into his room, the two of you curled up on his bed as you watched a movie.
inexperienced!choso who's face flushed red when he saw that you had fallen asleep on his chest, giving him the perfect view of your breasts spilling out of your shirt.
inexperienced!choso who felt that now familiar boner in his pants, but which now felt very different due to your ass pressing against it.
inexperienced!choso who couldn't help but roll into you, grinding his dick on the fat of your ass as you slept in hopes to relieve the ache.
inexperienced!choso who tried his best to feign innocence when you woke up due to the not so subtle movement of his hips.
inexperienced!choso who only got harder when you told him it was okay and that you could help him.
inexperienced!choso who nearly came in his pants when you pulled up your shirt, revealing your supple breasts and pert nipples to him.
inexperienced!choso who was then given the best (and first) head in his life, your hands gently working up and his length as you suckled on his tip.
inexperienced!choso who came buckets, all over your face and tits as he panted softly.
inexperienced!choso who apologised profusely when he saw the mess he made, but froze when he saw you collect some on your finger and pop it into your mouth.
inexperienced!choso who you then told that you had noticed his feelings some time ago, and that he wasn't the best at hiding his boner.
inexperienced!choso who's face flushed red when you promised this wouldn't be the last time you pleasured him.
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dividers by @cafekitsune
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cemeterything · 7 months
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not sure if you’ve answered before, but what is your favorite video essay?
i have a collection
Control, Anatomy and the Legacy of the Haunted House by Jacob Geller (self explanatory but even after watching all his other video essays i still find this one the most compelling to return to over and over again. kind of like a haunted house you can never truly escape. i love the way that he blends media analysis and like. cultural and sociological history and discourses in general.)
We Need to Talk About Game of Thrones I Guess and The Last of the Game of Thrones Hot Takes by Lindsay Ellis (just... really good and hysterically funny critical analysis of how badly you can fuck up a story by not understanding its themes, worth a watch even if you've never seen a single episode of game of thrones in your life)
MsScribe: The Harry Potter Fandom's Greatest Con Artist by Eldena Doubleca5t (a brilliant deep dive into the msscribe incident which provides historical context for everything that happened and is also extremely funny; the tarot major arcana chapter break formatting is fucking genius)
Born Sexy Yesterday by Pop Culture Detective (had a massive impact on me and made me think more critically about media - in a good way!)
All of Overly Sarcastic Productions' Trope Talk videos are also very enjoyable and not too long
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