#it meant something the way mine will not

[animentality]

I know everyone wants stories with happy endings, and they all hate when the main characters die, and insist well what's the point of the story then, it didn't matter at all! they died!

but.

I don't know. do the stories of those who die at the end not matter at all?

because if that's the case, I have news about the stories told by everyone who has ever lived in this world.

we all die at the end. we are all doomed by the narrative.

but our stories still matter.

#writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #listen it can be done well it can be done poorly #but i dont get this hatred of characters dying at the end and everyone not getting their happy ending #its not about realism #its about what the author is trying to say #some characters die because they need to die #because it fulfills their character arc it enhances it #it makes a difference #and there is catharsis in understanding that sometimes people die for a good cause for a glorious purpose #we all die #isnt there relief in seeing a story where our special friends die but it mattered in the end and death was something meaningful #if it was embraced with dignity #am i making any sense #i just know my own death wont matter #i like following stories where the mc dies but #it meant something the way mine will not #and the vast majority of people do not die for a good cause or with purpose #and those who do are heroes in our reality #but why are they so reviled in fiction #let your characters deaths mean something

[ineed-to-sleep]

Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops

#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved kuras #kuras #sleepyscribble #oc.emma #my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk #so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game #she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk #the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides #a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse #having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it' #but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise #and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl #bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it #anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone #also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine #bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee #but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself #and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

If no one knows, everyone wins.

Don't play games with me.

I'm quite serious. Who loses? Absent their worst instincts, their pride, their greed, their suspicion, in the light of pure reason, who says no to this? They'll be rich men in a safe place rather than dead thieves on a long rope.

#black sails #james flint #john silver #bs madi #jack rackham #anne bonny #billy bones #woodes rogers #this post is meant to and should be interpreted in many different ways #the ropes all around anne and jack (mostly jack) is especially cursed #quote originally between flint and gates #something something about the loss of agency in all of them #mine #big thanks you jaynovz for input!!!

[tomwambsgans]

first day dealing with the executive level doors

#tom wambsgans #roman roy #1x3 lifeboats #i think this is really just meant to be funny but if i WAS gonna analyze it... #i mean there's something to be said for how both roman and tom really shouldn't be here and they're way out of their depth #but then there is the contrast of where they end up lol. tom in the chair and roman gets out and stays out #mine #gifs

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!

Hope you have the greatest day/night too!

#I'm gonna go in a bit of a ramble in the tags because this got to me #but this legit means the entire world to me #i had ups and downs and good and bad times so its something i even forgot about for a while #but all i ever wanted was to make silly things and have those silly things be of help to someone #that has always been like. my main objective and reason as an artist other than liking to draw #i always hear about the potential i got to helping out in the world and yada yada and i decided i wanted to make it in the unconventional- #and small ways. i wanted to make people happy. entertain them when they are going through something. inspire to see things in a better light #its stupid and simple and something anyone can do but it was a wish of mine #hearing i actually got to do that gives me hope this can actually work out so thank you so much for bothering on telling me this #for a while i forgot the little things mattered too. but you helped me remember it #I've had people do art about ideas i had. i had people laughing with an art i did. i forgot those things meant the world all the same #and i forgot those little things are what had gotten me out of depression in the first place lmao #it helped once so i guess it can help out twice #thank you for telling me and im happy i helped somehow!! i'd love to see it! but either way wooooo!!! you make that art #well this was a cringe ramble lmao #might delete later #(the ramble. the ask im putting in my wall) #but yeah this is nice :] #ask #anon

[spherekuriboh]

the difference between the triumph in 'i found you!' and the shame in 'you've found me.' is proof enough!!!

#distext #i feel strongly enough abt this one to tag it #the silt verses #youve found me and the god i unwittingly fed-- it was never yours but it was mine and you stayed because you found me. #blah blah the narrative twists to incorporate the listener's hopes and desires for a happy ending blah blah #but the god is not capable of denying the rapture in the journey. it is in fact all it has to offer. #sebastian being unhappy *now* doesn't mean that the god is unfed. of course not. the journey is eternal. #but the lingering doubt would not have been centered upon his lifelong traveling companion. because that *spoils it!* #there is no journey in staying here. staying here is an ending. and the other narrative can't bloom with such a shadow hanging over it. #hope exists. of course it does. it must. but it isn't like. saccharine and revisionist. #not the decision to stay in the place of potential and never see and ending through. #dev calls him sebastian. whether it's an attention check (are you listening?) or a slipup back to formality it is a fuckup. #in much the same socially inept way that 'let's stay here' was such a desirable idea for your lover this morning you dont even consider NOW #elephant. elephant is what i meant. #anyway. meta fodder for the listener (i dont have the commentary but ive seen the phrase 'coin-flip') vs. watsonian social interactions. #........ frankly i dont think that sebastian gave enough of a fuck to pick a winner between hayward and carpenter either but that is just m #i think there's probably something smart to say about how moving forward this season involves nothing but uncertainty #where even following the cairn maiden to an assured ending leaves the pulsing question of when #but man im just upset. gay sex saved the day solved the mystery and now we're going back to get shotgun married to dodge the draft #if you dont have your own insurance plan your spouse's is fine. #sorry. what was i talking about? #right. there isn't a joy in this. there is no definite moment where the hurt- this trauma. the fog.- would pass and settle into comfort. #and among all of the promises and threats. it would only hurt for a moment. #nope! congrats. scarred for life you have to keep on living and difficult conversations you have to keep on having and continued awkwardnes #can't catch me suicide metaphor i'm gay as fuck. anyways #podcast tag #tsv spoilers

[danggirlronpa]

Congrats again to the semifinalists of the Dangan Femslash February Bracket!! As a reward for making it as far as they did, here are a set of mobile headers for the four semifinalists. These are 640 x 360 pixels made up of official art ^ screenshots, and can be used without credit!

While the semifinals are over, the finalists - which are a VERY close match - are still open for several more days here!

#syomaru #tokomaru #sakuraoi #celesgiri #headers #komaru naegi #genocide jack #aoi asahina #sakura ogami #kyoko kirigiri #celestia ludenberg #toko fukawa #graphic #congrats again to the final four!! #meant to do something fancier with the celesgiri one but it took WAY LONGER than expected #so potentially look out for that in the next week or so anyway! #danganronpa #mine

[tategaminu]

Someday the trend of adapting animated series/movies into live action will stop and I'll finally be free

#for the record. The Avatar live action kept dropping red flags since day 1 #so now the poor reviews are not a surprise #I meant. Never planned on watching because I don't care enough about the series but cmon #I went from yeah no. To yeah I dont want to aknowledge your existence #I like some live actions but most of them are so bad #Avatar already had a bad live action. Did it need another one? #tdp getting a live action is a personal nightmare of mine #Im in some way glad its not as popular as avatar #then again I doubt Aaron would allow something like this. (Pls Aaron don't) #ok rant over #personal #animation #animation Talk #I should make a tag for this

[thesandisfalling]

my official take on the moon/qibli/winter love triangle is that winterwatcher is a much grander, epic romance, and moonbli is a much more level, sweet-and-simple romance, but ultimately i think it was a better decision to have the latter be the canon romance in a series primarily marketed towards children and teens than fall into the "bad boy" romance trope, and instead romanticize the earnest, genuine, sweet relationship

obviously there's way more nuance to this involving internalized/unconscious bias, and winter doesn't even REALLY fit into the "bad boy" archetype, but purely based on genre conventions, the gruff, rude, brooding, tortured hero VERY often falls into that category, and at the ages of 7-14 most of us were very LIKELY to be romanticizing that archetype, which again is very often treated as interchangeable with the "abusive bad boy" trope, and while i might have a few gripes with the writing of moonbli and i ENJOY winterwatcher a whole lot, i DO appreciate the more gentle, "safe" romance being treated as the ideal, rather than the tense and angst-filled nature of the alternative

#i could talk about this way more but im in the middle of rereading dod so itll have to wait #what i DO have to add is like. something something the ideal romance being the calmer safer one and how - for me at least - #those years of my life were so complicated and difficult and i made this image of romance out to be this massive painful epic tale #of heartbreak and passion and huge declarations of love and everything #but ultimately; imparting the lesson to children that a romantic relationship should be SAFE - it should be your comfortable place #where youre happy and content and feel warm and secure - is MUCH better #than pressing upon them the idea that it should be this epic battle of tension and painful pining and everything #(whether its something simply overlooked in the writing or not; the fact is winter also DIDNT ever apologize to moon for #all the hurtful things he said or did - which isnt to say hes a BAD GUY i love winter so much - #but i think romanticizing those kinds of dynamics - which is tricky but CAN be done - is better saved for works marketed towards #more mature and emotionally intelligent audiences than i think wof might be meant for) #ANYWAY I HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS #god im so glad i got back into this series. the literary love of my life #mine #wof #winter #moon #qibli #wings of fire #winterwatcher #moonbli #meta

[strwbrymlkshake]

who up praying for downfalls 🤨

#mine #yandere #yancore #yandere vent #oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy #its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking #the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with #my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in #a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear #of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right #youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person #this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for #their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are. #i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think #idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight #its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU #but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway #if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test #die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said #this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten #with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like #we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it. #because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!! #like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business #clearly they did not grow up italian 💀 #clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything #anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist #advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours #and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves. #if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc

[raayllum]

And I’m having Avizandum-Aaravos feelings in this Chillis tonight

#avizandum #aaravos #game motif #arc 1 #s3 #3x06 #the way callum and ezran are gonna inevitably have this conversation themselves #i'm gonna eat my entire fist #mine #s7 #parallels #dead kings and consequences #king and high mage #you meant something to him

[craycraybluejay]

I know I am a sick person all over because everything always hurts and somehow I'm in love with the horror of protecting you. And the eternal wish that there is something as wrong with you as there is with me. For you to hurt me for every time I failed to protect you. For you to enjoy my hurt as I would yours. To smile at me like I am the only person in the entire world even as I fade to nothing. To put small fingers inside my throat and scratch it like an illness. Like swallowing glass. And laugh the whole way through as I struggle through blood to laugh with you. The desire to burn my sickness into you if by some miracle you are different, if by some cruel blessing I am really the only one like me. To bury you alive inside my love so that no matter what it will remain past the death of the sun. It's quiet and then it's loud. Something wrong with me. No one at all knows. I make myself sicker with my fixations. I am not capable of making any of it stop. Only of tucking myself away in a small dark corner like a diseased secret. Maybe I put too much value to things, even those that are altogether inconsequential. Too much romance and sentimentality to things that simply Are. All of the cosmos is unfeeling chaos, all of the humans are feeling order, I inherit the worst of both. Everything feels like a strange, heavy nightmare. Time is fast and slow. The sensation is of a subconscious eternally screaming for me to WAKE UP, that my head is hot enough to explode and my body is wasting away-- except there is nothing else to wake up to. Life is story after story and moments of thrilling clarity. And you.

I crave so badly to earnestly write you as a freakshow. I want to grab you and run you-- all clinging to my back and bothering me with questions of what all this is-- right into my world. Hold you out above the mountain like the Lion King and thank the stars for your existence. Initiate you into a madness that is mine, and only mine. Watch you turn in my time into a being in my space. But I know in truth it's a game of burdensome waiting. That I have to play my role forever if I must and simply wait for you to wander here. That in order to hold and cherish you in both my world and this other one I must wait for you to slither up my brainstem yourself-- as a being and not a thought. To leap into my arms a billion times until the atoms do something truly bizarre. I don't allow my hands on your wheel, but I enjoy sitting there and watching as we crash into trees and fly headlong off cliffs. It is more fun than smooth sailing. More real. You manage to shock me when nothing truly phases me anymore. Reach me in a place where I am all alone. I can't push you I can't pull you I can't weave your stories together with mine alone but I will happily take your hand and lead you through the beautiful surrealities when you offer yours first.

#waxing poetic #journal #delete later #this is private but considering no one can decipher what im saying even when i purposely try to talk in a way that appeals to others #which im not doing here because this is for me and mine #im not particularly worried #even the people i love could not understand a word of this in its context the way it is meant to me #it is like i am in an infinite thick mud behind thicker glass and nothing can see me or touch me #my writing #an exercise in honesty #i will read these silly little notes to you if and when you are ready for them-- sing them even #and if not. well. i will stay loyal and content beside you until i die and after too #i want a will where you keep me on your skin. a necklace or a piercing or even under your skin #press me into something you'd like to keep and wear me until you too return to stardust #and promise me you'll never take me off. not when you shower or sleep or get married or die. #promise me i will remain with you until our remains end together. if not i'll haunt your stupid ass

[donnatroyyyy]

Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.

#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father #but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage #years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be #robin Bruce wouldn’t want him #and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him #and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and #and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin #and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’ #and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and #maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’ #or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’ #and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill #rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why #can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’ #and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati #anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’ #now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it #would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen #a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a #weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’ #his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a #‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it #and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication #but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up #for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice #maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back #oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like #that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and #also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’ #then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly something that, amidst facing / going through a dramatic Life Change ft. unavoidable emotional effects of that, there are instances where i can't conceal any & all degrees of being distressed / upset, & repeatedly getting "it's hard for me too" as a Direct Response to that: really something & a half how the asserted theoretical Sympathy of [i feel similarly!] is invoked so as to, oh you know, preclude sympathetic Treatment. such as that what would be More sympathetic in these instances would be to say Nothing, "if there's nothing but dismissal / making it first & foremost about someone else's feelings to say, don't say it at all" style

#reading also that original Lovelessness essay ''love is meant to make me human / love is also the mechanism by which my humanity #has been denied'' always preferring to have [sorry! couldn't fully bottle up this Emotiona externally manifesting at all!] Ignored rather #than ''nicely'' interacted with so as to Invalidate; Dismiss; someone's annoyed at you for having it; etc #for bonus context like we are not in the same boat with it. #not a case of ''the same situation; mine is worse though'' like no; fundamentally different situations here lmao. mine is worse #If You Feel So Bad. Or At All. then at least now do me the favor of Not Saying That; Repeatedly #their feelings put on me too in other ways. stewing resentment into lashing out; tossing out ''but i'm justified'' like ok! Your business!! #the ol like. If You're Going To Do Something Anyways then how you justify it to yourself is Your business / b/w you & your god as they say #& the last thing to do is be making it the problem of ppl Most Affected by what you're gonna do anyways & Also ask their Absolution..... #like if you need more moral support abt What You're Doing Anyways: turn to Anyone Else. even No One if you have to. #bit going tf through it when it's spilling over into Posting but such is life!! we all have that [the horrors. girl help] blogger on dash #again the tl;dr like oh you don't say. the [umm but have you considered? My Feelings! (they're so sympathetic at all. yor welcome)] is #the mechanism through which Really basic sympathy is being denied & replaced with [Saying Nothing would've been less hurtful] #misgendering me the other night too while Also all 'hey I'm trying to talk to the customer service. why are You going up & talking first' #(that was me experiencing the latter. i didn't say it but i was like cmon. my glasses are fogging up w/surgical mask (don't have access to #more effective masks so doing what Nonzero i can there) i'm a bit carsick i'm weathering a crisis. can i have anything here lol) #just Oh You Know. The Horrors.... #balancing ofc trying to endure trying to self soothe etc etc. with ''it's the horrors. it's gonna be horrific & you're gonna be affected'' #ah the [being kind to oneself] like also means knowing how reasonable it is to Not solo contain & endure & Cope Through everything.... #crushing a paper cup in my hands genuinely i would like to generously thank my virtual allies out here today. mic feedback #irl In Real Life? life is Real asf here & nobody Realer than them

[jewvian]

I remember Amanda talking once about her news reel and how everyone thought it was hilarious. She was baffled of course, as was I, cuz how can a serious news reel can be funny? Like unintentionally funny?

Well. Now that I've seen it with my own two eyes I totally agree lmao that shit was hilarious!! Like omg Amanda you were born to be a comedian!!!!

That part alone had me in stiches for so long, like I don't know if that story is made up for the reel or an actual real accident, I was just laughing hysterically. That's some Parks and Recreation shit I'm sorry lmao

Well. Thank God she decided to pursue acting, I'll say that.

#smosh #amanda lehan canto #mine #there's something about the way she spoke that made it so funny lol #and the hands!!! so much movement!!!! #the anchorman vibes are so strong there i can't stop laughing #god bless you amanda for real #you were meant to make people laugh

[voidcoretxt]

but there are lots of fish left in the sea, there are lots of fish in business suits that talk and walk on human feet & visit doctors & have weak knees ...Oh Please Let Me Join Your Cult..!!! Ill Paint My Face In Yr Colours!!!!!!! (u had a real nice face, i had an early death.)

#needed to. write these lyrics out #ultimately i think i was meant 2 be some1s dead love interest they nvr get over #no matter how many better more interesting people they meet #idk. being loved like that sounds nice. likeee have dead wife flashbacks about me lol. love me love me love me #but yeah anyway. i love these last few lines of the song #before the whole the ocean washed open/over your grave part (id have included it but i think it only works like. as music. not Just words) #its really nice. like there are lotsss of fish left in the sea but also. OH PLEASE LET ME JOIN YOUR CULT LET ME LET MWE LET ME #i like it. it Gets It. #i dont believw that im capable of like. understanding art tbh im kinda too stupid. even for car seat headrest! #and the interpretations of this song that ive read online are different than mine so like. lol. ure abt to read something so utterly stupid #but its like. the desperation. you will never love me but ill do anything to change that. please. Please. #i will worship you i will forsake any and all individuality i previously had please just let me be with you. please. Please. #ya know? #i cant say ive never felt that way before. cant say im not currently feeling like this still (im working on it tho. working working working #its a nice song. i like it. #anyway. gentlemen its been a wonderful evening but sadly ive got an ask to answer so i must leave. farewell godspeed etc #we will see eachother again once i find a song i like that was made in 2007 #voidcore.txt #goddd theres so many typos in this. tumblr please let me edit tags on mobile