#it makes me sad that other kids wont ever have that experience :(

[apollos-boyfriend]

AYO fellow "gifted" neurodivergent lets go! There is absolutely a link there I think. Every single one of my fellow classmates eventually goes "bro I got a diagnostics finally and it explained a lot". My "gifted" classes were back when the district gave the teachers for those classes a fair budget for more hands on/different study structure classes and man, I really wish more kids nowadays would have the option to explore what studying structures worked for them. Classes would be much more enjoyable, but thats something with economic and budgeting factors for our poor underpaid education system unfortunately.

Thankfully those classes were general requirement for all students! :D However, this was early 2010's, back when there was, at least some semblance of varied classes outside of common core education. I don't think they even teach kids computer sciences anymore with learning excel, SEO usage or any of the other common tools kids should be able to use efficiently. I had one of the last art classes in my school sadly, I am always jealous to hear about how my dad learned all these neat skills in home ec.

no yeah. it makes me so sad, bc that "gifted" curriculum no longer exists. it got shut down a few years ago due to low funding. and. genuinely. those classes were the best thing that ever happened to me. it was one of the first places i actually felt seen, because while it was somewhat math-heavy, it also focused so much on the arts. thinking back on it, it was also just? super accessible? it had fidget toys and kids just weren't punished for "being a distraction". there were quiet areas and little nooks and every staircase had a matching ramp. at least, there were before the building got torn down. they moved the kids to the high school after that, and really, whose fucking bright idea was it to move 50-some clearly neurodivergent elementary-age kids from a building SPECIFICALLY built to accommodate their needs to a high school??

anyways. im rambling. i 100% agree. when i was in middle school, you had to take at least one computer, home ec, art, and woodworking class in sixth grade. i hope they're still required, but knowing how badly my district cuts funds, i doubt it. shit like that's always so depressing to see. when you think about it, some reasons as to why the younger gens act and operate the way they do makes a lot more sense when taking into account the sheer amount of budget cuts on most education programs

#muse talk #anon #man. that place was genuinely my safe haven for most of elementary school LMAO #it makes me sad that other kids wont ever have that experience :(

[iratusmus]

so bizarre to me when people give fiona a redemption arc like making her evil wasnt literally like the fundamental core of making her an actually interesting character. like . ok actually i was mostly planning on just leaving the post as this but im going to make a proper post whining about this because ive seen it far too often for my liking.

it appears to me that a lot of people do this because they dislike fiona/scourge which is like. sure i get it. but you could literally just... break them up . and have her continue being awful on her own. like scourge is not the reason she switched sides and i find the idea. 1) a bit misogynistic frankly but thats more of a personal gripe than anything else like god forbid a woman make bad choices of her own volition and not because a man forced her hand into doing it (YES i am aware that abuse makes this more complicated than that but also we .... already have a relationship in archie sonic that fits this exact bill. yes it wasnt written well but the wonder of fan works is that you can always make it better. so why are we repeating it again 1:1) and 2) demeaning to the point of her character.

like. ok. lets go over the facts real quick. as a kid fiona got put in robotnik's salt mines and got accidentally left behind bc sonic & co couldnt find her. she realized that nobody was going make the effort to go save her, so she dug herself out and started life on the run as a treasure hunter/thief. she didnt ever really accept the fact that sonic and mighty not saving her wasnt really their fault, and even after becoming a freedom fighter, nobody ever said anything or apologized or said "hey wow that kind of sucks you went through all that". she never really made any actual friends within the ff or formed any meaningful bonds. she starts dating sonic, but its pretty clear that the only reason they're dating is that she's his rebound post The Slap. the moment her history with bean & bark came up - after she used that knowledge to save everybody - sally immediately turns on her and sonic is the only person to try to stick up for her. as bark and bean leave, bean also insinuates that fiona isnt really a freedom fighter, and that she's still basically one of them.

fiona is a "bad" trauma survivor. when i say "bad" i mean in opposition to the ideal tumblr trauma survivor - the sad poor uwu bean whose trauma only inclines them hurt themselves and they become more sympathetic kind etc. as a result. fiona, on the other hand, blames sonic (whose fault this is, frankly, not) for her experiences, and becomes more jaded and mean. she has no real support system and people repeatedly tell her that she hasnt changed and that she wont change and she cant change. shes already got all this baggage by the time her relationship with scourge starts carrying actual weight - he's offering her a way out. if none of them are ever going to really accept her being "good", then she might as well just give into her worst impulses and join hands with scourge, who, notably, has no stake in this - he doesnt have any obligation to be her friend like the freedom fighters, and more than that he likes her specifically because of the part of her that everybody else hates. the important part here is that he encouraged her to switch sides, he didnt make her switch sides.

id say fiona's character in a writing sense is an exploration of the failings of the freedom fighters to support a trauma victim, and how those failings, while unintentional, lead that victim to specifically turn against them. she says "ok actually screw all of you guys" and gives up on trying to be good because nobody ever gave her any real encouragement and decides to put herself on a path of self-destructive revenge and inflicting her misery onto the general population. we can also recall at this point that this motivation is entirely removed from scourge and you can literally break them up and still keep her evil.

the other important point here is that she purposefully chose that path of turning evil as opposed to leaving the freedom fighters or going somewhere else or like literally doing anything else. she literally could have just left but she did not and thats what makes her Interesting. prompted by her unhealed trauma and personal baggage she made those bad choices for herself, and frankly i cannot for the life of me understand why people think that walking back that character development (and yes i mean character development. character development can also mean getting worse) for ..... what. snarky but with a heart of gold generic protagonist girl? come on guys

#besides what happened to not having enough female villains smh #archie sonic #fiona fox #iratusmus.txt

[fucksurass]

Redraw of my oc look look look hes so so DUMB

Lines to no lines. Stubby to less stubby. Circles to fingers. I love how my art just randomly changed one day bc I was experimenting with my style. L-look at it please.

More about Norman Nick Nasher under the fucking cut⬇⬇

Norman is a totally normal boy with a completely normal family. Hes an only child so its just him, his mom and dad. They love him dearly and try their best to raise him correctly. Normal right? The only thing not normal about his family is him which is weird because his name is "Normal" with an N instead of an L. Yeah I lied when I said he was normal.

Norman has a little frog under his hat named Froggo. He loves reptiles a lot but loves frogs the most which is why his hat resembles a lilly pad. He will not believe frogs are not reptiles and no matter how many facts you throw at him he will likely call you gay at the end of it. If he likes you he will talk endlessly about frogs and/or reptiles and he wont stop unless something trivial catches his attention. If he doesnt like you he quite literally will not speak to you at all.

Craig. Doesnt he look like Craig? He doesnt know who Craig is. He has no idea who the guy is which makes you wonder why Craig doesnt like him. They met each other one day and Norman would not stop asking who Craig was. It was- Just imagine this:

"Hey."

"Hi. Who are you?"

"Im Craig."

"Who?"

"Craig."

"Whos Craig."

"Me? I just told-"

"Craig... I have no idea who Craig is."

"Craig is ME."

"My name is Norman. Whos Craig?"

"Dude. Im Craig..."

"Oh. Wanna see my frog?"

"Not really."

"What?! Frogs are cool what-"

"Look I just need you to understand who Craig is. I am Cra-"

"No I dont. Could you tell me who he is? People keep saying I look like him."

"We look nothing alike. Look my name is-"

"Anyway about frogs did you know that [insert very long paragraph on frogs]?"

"Shut up, Norman. Stop talking."

"You must not like frogs... Weirdo."

"No I dont have anything against frogs I- Im leaving."

Would you hate Norman too?

Norman knows he is gay. He is fully aware and uses that to his advantage. He will call anything gay and anyone a fag. He will not stop. Oh youre on your phone too much? Thats gay. You like men? Thats gay. You study for an exam? Thats gay. Youre depressed and in need of a hug? Fag. Why he does this? Scientists have yet to figure it out. Now Norman is in fact in a relationship. Who is he dating? Some kid named Chris. To see gay art of them look into their blog @normris wanna see me cry of yippe? Follow it peas. (And thats how you sell a product)

What is Normans favorite food? Oh its just the most delicious meal ever. Broccoli. Just loves it so so much. Why? No one knows. As far as his parents know they accidentally deprived him vegetables trying to keep him happy. Norman was a quiet baby and they thought he was sad so they spoiled him. He was not sad. He just had beef with his parents because he was shaken up in the womb. Anyway about broccoli!!!! He loves the stuff. He eats it as a snack, for every meal, even just randomly takes some out of his pocket and chows down. His boyfriend recalls the time he pulled out a pack of frozen broccoli while they were coloring together.

Our last unsettling fact about Norman is that he doesnt like the bible. No this is not because his parents are atheists. Its because they encourage him to believe in anything he wants. Because of his he believes in a frog god. Why does he hate the bible? Because it, and I quote, "made the snake a bad guy. Snakes are cool maybe he just wanted eve to be healthy. The bible is gay."

The end. (If you got this far I have a lollipop for you 🍭)

#south park #southpark #south park oc #artists on tumblr #art #digital art #oc artwork #oc art #ocs #my ocs #my oc art #my oc stuff

[colgatebluemintygel]

The thoughts about their experiences with family and grief hurt on many levels. R sees that s has parents who are rich and still alive and probably feels a bit jealious and cant understand how s seems to resent it. S is self aware enough to know that outwards his family seems ideal and struggles with how he could let people know how things actually are (maybe even afraid that they wont believe him). As seen in OAO he feels that he takes up too much space and r's mom has just died so he feels guilty ab burdening him with this and r will later feel guilty ab his anger/not understanding the situation. I am shaking. I want to hug them both. (Also yes, I believe that s really craved even a smallest hint that his parents cared. He couldnt live with them but leaving didnt really make it easier bc he understood that he lost all hope of having his birth parents love.)

yes yes yes !!!! absolutely!

the difference in class and privilege absolutely factored into it as well (as mentioned in oao, remus was one of the only kids at that school not from an affluent background, and it was definitely alienating for him, especially as two of his best friends grew up amongst immeasurable wealth (i picture peter's family to be more upper middle class than upper class like s and j, but it's still different to remus's background). definitely every now and again sirius would say really out of pocket things relating to how his parents treated him, but i think once he noticed his friends reactions, he'd also immediately backtrack and try to play it off as a joke. so for the others it was tricky to get a handle of the severity of the situation, and what was true and what wasn't. i think early on, some of the other boys (i'm thinking frank etc) would have made little jokes about sirius and his rich boy problems (ie: i imagine sirius would always be sad on his birthday—he'd receive these expensive presents, but they were never be meant FOR him; they were status symbols. and they just served as a reminder that his parents don't see him for who he is, and they don't love him for who he is -> cue meltdown. and i imagine remus would be looking in on this kinda like ??? perhaps internally thinking that sirius is being a little bit ungrateful (again, gift giving has a totally different meaning in remus's family). he'd NEVER say that out loud (well. aside from their big blow out argument), but in his head he'd be like.... rich boys.......) (while also being like :-(( my poor pretty padfoot :-(( and fantasising about kissing the tears from sirius's cheeks xx (all this conflict chat makes me want 2 reiterate !! remus ADORES him. like so SO much. this whole situation was such a change from their usual dynamic, it really threw everyone for a loop))

and YES and as you say: sirius's mouth works faster than his mind a lot of the time, and he would make comments maybe about wishing his parents harm, and it absolutely sent remus reeling. their main fight occurred over something incredibly minor (it was months and months of emotional build-up on both ends), but each of these little comments were a blow to remus </3 and of course sirius was never ever trying to cause harm. he had no real way of knowing what was happening with hope, because from the outside it just looked like something had happened to remus, who was now suddenly super reserved with himself and his body and seemed to be totally caught up in self-loathing. and i think sirius resonated a lot with that (even if he was expressing it all in a completely different way).

but yes... the idea that s takes up too much space. it's sort of all he's ever known. he was never taught how to emotionally regulate himself; he was always just punished. and that link between his emotions and punishment is so embedded in his psyche that even if his birth parents aren't around anymore to punish him for his emotions, he does it himself.

SOBS poor poor babs :-((((

#oao #on a totally different note it always makes me giggle when people say they see oao as a happy and fun fic (which happens often!) #i suppose it probably does read like that !! #but as i'm writing it i'm just so aware of how much sadness is baked into both of these characters #and sirius's mind is not always a very happy place to be :-(

[thevalleyoftriumph]

Since I reblogged it from you, here’s what I’m curious abt for your OC’s!!

MY ENTIRE EXPLANATION FOR 11 JUST GOT DESTROYED IM GOING TO KILL TUMBLR. anyways since last ask had an 11 im choosing a different ocverse for this one

11]

hi. um. roblox ocs :3 their lore takes forever to explain so im just gonna explain the characters instead of the plot.

basically theres 3 of them ok.

cody, a noob who loves playing fighting games and helping people get their footing in them. very silly, very kind, and has a bestie thats a guest named horns [horns is my friends oc :3]. cody ALSO has a bit of a slow moving "curse" that is the result of their arm being Fucking Cut Off. its a corruption in their code that is slowly spreading across their body, which will end up with their entire set of code and body being Basically unraveled from the inside out in a way thats Worse than death ! :D they spend most of their time trying to figure out a way to undo that while still being the same happy person. they see blade [other oc] as a brother figure once the two meet!

blade is a bounty hunter of sorts, who goes after exploiters to make the world safer for people, thanks to his own experiences as a kid with exploiters. he is VERY good at his job, having been training since he was a younger teen, and has been doing his job for anywhere from 15-20 years [havent decided.] his current target is inkcap, his childhood friend and previous crush. its a whole thing. also, hes the one who saved cody from being COMPLETELY killed during their exploiter encounter!

inkcap is . well. the exploiter mentioned previously. instead of their encounter with exploiters driving it to better itself and help others, its trauma [and also blade leaving it when they were both 15 to go on his first mission, and then just. never coming back] had led it to lean into its trauma, and learn the same exploits that hurt it, and more. it decides that if it couldnt be happy anymore, if it lost everything and everyone it loved, then no one else should be able to have these things - because no one tried helping it when it needed it. its the one who attacked cody, and the one blade is currently hunting down - but inkcap is sneaky, and good at its own "job," being the most infamous exploiter - and for good reason.

the whole story with these three is the different ways people deal with trauma, mostly the.. unhealthy ways, and their very, VERY slow path to healing and getting better. it has a happy ending! it just takes a long time to get there. they all have a Lot of stuff to work through.

12] pick a fav

OK THATS THE THING I GENUINELY CANT.

theyre all equally loved as a whole because i adore them, but in terms of different catagories, THEN theres favs, so just. choose whichever one you think is most valid.

for drawing, i LOVE cody. theyre so simple and cute to draw i have little doodles of them in Every notebook and sketchbook. i like drawing them with my friends oc. :3

for actual design, i LOOOVE inkcap. inkcap is my beloved their design is sooo <333 pretty

for LORE.... i love blade the most SORRYYY his whole deal makes me sick in the head

19] describe the sillies you think about that dont go in the story

I HAVE OTHER ROBLOX OCS FOR UMM. A THEORETICAL GAME. theyre not related to those threes^ story at all so they count for this question lol

theyre another noob/guest duo, agon and unnamed/default [both are interchangeable]. since i do one day wanna make their game a reality i wont go Too into detail but they live in a mountain town and are besties who have Something going on and theyre super sweet to each other and are bestest friends Ever ever but then default goes MISSING one day and NEVER COMES BACK and agon has to DEAL with it and gets all SAD and um. yeah :]

20] how have they horribly mangled your message/theme

they would either villainise inkcap to hell into an irredeemable villain, OR turn blade into a budget cop. i hate it so bad but thats just what would happen.

THAT or theyd completely IGNORE the message of the story being about healing from trauma and how some coping mechanisms are unhealthy and turn it into like. a classic "everyone just gets over it" thing and turn the whole trilogy into a shitty action film and ignore the characters trauma and their paths towards healing and it would be so bad and oh god oh god . puts my head in my hands.

theyd also probably turn inkcap into a girl and cody into a boy so like. not a story mishap but a general fuckup theyd do because of how inkcap is an it/they w a romance plot w blade [and also their character model has the "girl torso" from the blocky character pack on roblox] and cody is a they/them with a masc name.

#kitkat chitchat #kits ocs

[selamat-linting]

parts 2 of my previous homestuck post, now on to the things i find silly!

-yaoi tournament will live free forever in my head. so as the horse cock. this is the worst thing hussie has ever done. i legit did not know it was an actual horse cock like i think it was just a giant blue dildo 😭😭😭😭

-the dancestors are really lame people like oh my god. beforus kids are giant dorks i cant believe their alternia counterparts are so badass like, take aranea and mindfang. just look at the contrast. first one is a nerd who would pay people for attention and the other is a girlboss who doesnt give a shit.

-one thing i do like from kankri is that he gave us plenty if funny karkat suffers joke. i love how this loser makes karkat do the walter white face lmaoooo he just cant get a break is he?

-and penis ouija!!! god why is he like that? everytime karkat is on screen i feel secondhand embarrassment like. i cant believe i shared classpects with this guy. why are you biting dave's cape are you in kindergarten? worst of all i think i've done something similarly embarrassing in school. thats it im changing my classpect im a knight of light from now on fuck off.

-still, thats not as horrible as rose's fuckup with her date. oh my god somebody gives her a chill pill she is going to lick herself bald like a stressed kitten. which is really funny because she and kanaya seems so... not nervous when talking to each other. you'd think their date would be a normal casual discussion between two awesome self assured girls. No its not. theyre both have gotten good at looking like theyre not close to exploding. but we all know none of them are Hinged.

-And oh, tavris they are doing you both dirty. like, its an improvement that vriska actually says something positive to him and that tavros did speak up against her at some points. but the narrative doesnt really want them to grow as a person. i think hussie has gotten too attached to vriska the unapologetic thief of light to the point that its reflecting badly on her and other's character development. okay fine i did say i wont take it seriously, but im a writer too. ofc i will notice the issues.

- this might be an unpopular opinion but i like the elevatorstuck music. gamzee is like, getting close to be my scrunkly like i know he does atrocities but he is really funny when doing it.

-the lands for the alpha kids are really fascinating. its less lively than the beta kids but im glad i actually get to experience the puzzles they have to solve on quests and its relations with the players' classpect. i want to see jane fulfilling her planets wish to be green and fertile. she gets too much shit talk from caliborn so i want to see her get a win yknow? and she's so goofy like her beta counterpart i want to see her happy and silly like egbert too.

-speaking of egbert, im kinda worried for him. can you believe it? he doesnt like con air anymore. i've been in his phase of starting to lose all joy in things i used to like and feeling lonely even with people around me and its not pretty. i know he went through a lot. i hope the experience with the dream bubble would make him happier even if just for a bit

-and another beta kids i want to be sad about: davesprite! he's so alone. all of his friends from the timeline is gone, he's not the main dave anymore and john keeps treating him like a replacement. its like he's relegated to a nobody who happens to have a recognizable face. poor guy.

-and to be sad again, i know i made fun of karkat a lot, but i have the biggest parental instinct for him. aside from terezi. he's the biggest crier out of the group. he's shouty and annoying but thats very much the kind of annoying shit that children do yknow? at first i dont like him because of his attitude to jade, but slowly i did warm up to him. he never really hated anybody and most of his tantrums are generally harmless to other people. in fact, he blames himself a lot about things that are out of his control. he's the one with the least body count from the rest of the trolls and he literally had to grew up hunted and unwanted by society. i want to give him a hug, i truly do.

-okay back to fanboying. roxy!!!! shit. man i adore that she has an aura that makes any surveillance camera blackout nearby. yes, girl, BECOME UNGOVERNABLE.

-and i cant believe im saying this, but i miss sollux. at first i was just joking about finding him interesting because he has my star sign and is good at coding but yeah. i do miss the guy. where is he really?

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #homestuck liveread

[encantoisawesome]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)❤️❤️❤️

thank you for the tag @waitingonavision 

5 things i like about myself?.... umm, im not entirely sure how to answer this to be honest because i dont really like myself at all. ill have to ask my family about this one

edit: alright ive asked my family and they came up with this (sorry it took me a while to answer this)

1. i strive to make people happy = the number 1 priority in my life is the happiness of others, which is true, i hate the idea of others being sad, so i do what i can tomake people happy. its why i love getting the screenshots for you guys so much because i see the reactions they get and how much you guys like them, and in turn, that makes me happy

2. my compassion towards animals = ive always had trouble with empathy or getting along with other people, even when i was a kid i had little to no friends, hell i barely talked... until the day i got my first pet, ever since then, my love for animals is through the roof, especially towards birds and rodents (especially rodents since i have 35 guinea pigs (all of them are rescues, i flipping LOVE my kids)). my mother laughs at me because when im around my pets i “become a social butterfly” but when people get involved i “turn back into the shy gremlin i am” (great description there mother). she also brought up the story of greenie the duck... which is another story for another time if anyone wants to hear it. i just flipping love animals

3. my creativity = i spent 95% of my day day-dreaming since i dont have a social life (by choice, im a social recluse, talking to people is hard, im trying to get better at it though), and i will come up with the most random of stuff just by a single thought (hell i came up with the zombie apocolypse encanto AU because i randomly had a flashback to the first few note to the theme of 28 days later). ive made puppets, i experiment with food combinations, i draw my own comics which i wont share because my drawings are terrible, and i make 3D models of stuff (still currently making bruno’s ruana on the weaving loom)

4. my determination = my sister says that she likes how i take any challenges i face head on and dont back down until ive completed said challenge. the number one thing she brought up was my hands since ive only got 8 fully functioning fingers along with some other medical stuff, it never stopped me from doing the stuff i like doing

5.........umm, im not overly sure? like i said im not overly sure how to answer this ask since my views on myself are negative. i like my family for helping me answer this, does that one count? its positive so i guess that counts

sorry about me rambling

again thank you for the tag @waitingonavision , i shall go and tag 10 people

[alarrytale]

It´s the anon who send you the blog link first asking for that larry denial by H.

I mean first thing nobody probably ever realize is that anyone can´t say "yes, larry is real but shhhh don´t tell anyone, it´s a secret" like what are everyone expecting as an answer to that question? Nobody will confirm it for multiple reasons we, larries, well know why and if anything, it will out them both, simple as it is. I wrote this point as a reaction for that ask but it´s not a larrie blog and not even open to larry so the answer to was that H never directly denied it but this time he supposedly denied it and that´s why that fan unlarried and disappeared. And of course the discussion (read more asks reacting to mine) went straight to how Louis denied larry multiple times and larries are lunatics who don´t believe him eventho he said it and said he´s straight, other anon said how larries ruined their cute friendship (classic one) and the person running that blog even said that they thought that Louis having a kid will make larries stop believing but they still believe it. So I left this blog because curate your fandom experience. So the final conclusion to this theme is that it´s not true?

And my addition to anon who wrote about being in a queer community and being the only one who believes H is queer. I came to this fandom as a solo het harrie who thought the same - he´s doing it only for attention, he has balls to wear extravagant and feminine clothes but he´s straight because he dated famous women only. What made me change my mind is literally digging into his queercoding, into his past actions (i mean baby boyfriends era when he was so obviously in love with Louis, hello?), him visiting gay club in like 2012, him saying how he´s open with his sexuality to his family and close friends, him obviously reading MP on Feb 2020 when nobody knew what will come next month and next year doing everything to get the role of Tom Burgess, him singing about poppers and aknowledging it, his gay stylist calling him Sue/Angel Sue and H calling him like that as well. Or the whole chapter called rainbow bears, hello!!! And I can continue. You don´t even need to go that deep under the surface and just look at his neck wearing feminine pearly necklace and bananad*ck for years (and it´s still there when you zoom the latest pap shots, yay!) like no straight man would do that so yes, that´s queercoding as well and it´s not part of the costumes. So I think it´s way too easy to just say he´s doing it all for attention and you just have to be openminded and just go under the surface and look for all those evidence. Just like I did last year and it took me like 2 months of exploring it all. It´s just sad that most queers don´t recognize him as queer but guess that´s the result of years of gaslighting and him being deep in his closet which means it works. But I still think most people noticed him only recently (2019-2022) and so they just don´t have any idea that he´s been like that since he was 16 because it´s been way too long ago.

Hi, anon!

Harry has never denied larry (if you're not counting the sunrise interview). Louis has done it plenty of times (none of it convincingly).

I agree with you that if people actually look into H they'll come to understand that he's gay and not queerbaiting, nor breaking down toxic masculinity. He's queercoding because he's gay. It might take a bit of research to come to understand that he's gay. Casual fans might not look up the video diaries where he's drooling over Louis or read his magazine interviews. So they'll continue to assume he's straight. As long as the tabloids cover his PR/bearding relationships and he has two different personalities on and off stage, they wont have a clue.

#fandom #queercoding #harry image

[cnlalimna]

July 10, 2022

hm i wont lie the past two months have been absolutely shit. like oh my god i cannot face anyone right now because my brain cannot handle it, which is basically how its been. The only person ive talked to consistently is jordan...but even hes been busy so most of the time im kinda just doing my own thing. honestly though it hasnt been bad, i like being on my own and stuff. 

SO! major updates!

i began working at the aquarium of the pacific and thats super cool. i really like it there despite it being super exhausting. I like looking at the animals and interacting with the kids. weird huh!? i like working the later shift because when im working the touch tanks usually theres no people and i can just play with the animals :> here are some pictures

we're going from most recent to least recent btw.

went to LA a good few times! I've been looking and going to my favorite places recently and have been deciding whether or not to bring jordan there when he comes down to visit one day.

I've been to so many baseball games!! two angels games and one AA dodgers game :). baseball is so cool and it makes me so happy but oh my god I can't enjoy it anymore without jordan. like it's fun with my family but it's just different :/ BUT hopefully we can go to some games together eventually.

right after I moved back from college I spent wayyy too much money trying to distract myself from being so fucking sad :[ I got harry tickets and some vinyls.

pack up day for college was super emotional. not to sound mean but I really don't miss anyone other than jordan. I felt so isolated there and like I had no friends so it's hard for me to have those attachments to people who had a complete opposite experience than I did. here are some pictures from the end of the school year

in all honesty the summer has been super lonely but actually I think I'm happier than I've ever been these last couple of years. one major thing I've been feeling though is like just longing ig? in many different ways. I guess I really long for stability and a sense of belonging. I want that happiness you get from being in college. I want to be drunk with my friends under a discoball playing cumbia. I want to be able to see jordan whenever I want. so many wants in my life yet it seems like they're all going to be just out of reach.

jordan says he's gonna try to visit sometime in July. he's told me before that while he's gonna try his best the one thing he can't do is promise me that. he's really fucking sweet for shit like that, but he's absolutely crazy whenever he says that. the drive is almost 400 miles and over 5 hours, to do that shit alone is insane. I would love for him to crash here a few days but given his new job, it would be a waste of time to come down to visit only for a weekend. we like to joke around saying we're on our way to see the other person and everytime it makes me feel a tiny bit happy cause it feels normal and not like we're a good hundred miles apart. and truth is I miss him, like a fuck ton. I think more than I've ever missed a person. I hope soon comes in the near future, I'm filled with naive hope :) only time I'll be willingly naive for a person. I don't expect him to come though if I'm being completely honest, but one can dream hm?

#July #2022

[clouds-rambles]

hi bestie!! i loved the prompt you wrote where the reader dies in the genshin boys arms,, so do you think you could do that for zhongli and xiao? :]

We about to cry again huh?

Bro Stormbearers Lair is making me sad and for what? All I’m doing is looking for chests. Bruh. Kinnie moment

Pairing(s); (Seperate) Zhongli, and Xiao x reader

Warnings; major character death, angst, hurt/no comfort, injury description, blood

Keep reading under the cut!

Zhongli

He had lost many a person over the millennia, so loss isn’t exactly foreign to the ex archon

But you, even if you were mortal. In Zhongli’s eyes you would grow old with him. You would get to see your children grow into adults, you would get to see grand children, maybe you would even get to see great grand children if you were lucky.

But no

Your body lays limp in Zhongli’s arms. You were both fighting a particularly tedious foe, like you have done some many times before. But this time ended with you dying

And Zhongli didn’t even get to say his goodbyes to you for he was too preoccupied with putting down the enemy. Like has happened so many times before, people close to him, gone without even a goodbye let alone a kiss on the cheek

It had happened with Guizhong too. One day she was there fighting beside him and the next. Gone

Zhongli finds himself doing something that he hasn’t done in a very long time. He cries. He cries for you. Your loss of life, for your loss of experience. For all those years he was going to spend with you. For all those years that he did spend with you that are going to be nothing but a painful memory that he has to dwell on to remember why he’s alive

How would he explain it to his children? Children that are certainly not going to understand why one of their parents are gone. Especially when the said parent is used to being gone for long periods of time? How would he explain this to himself? That the person he loves above all things has been taken away?

Hu Tao is funnily enough the one to find Zhongli dry sobbing in the middle of the plains. She says something about how she was in the area, but really? Hu Tao had this sudden gross gut feeling, as if your spirit was trying to call out to her. The gross gut feeling she had was right

Hu Tao suddenly ever so professional helped the broken Zhongli up. She doesn’t mention it when his trousers are stained by your blood, nor does she mention Zhongli’s wet face. Hu Tao knows better, especially when dealing with the dead.

The service is as small as it could physically be, considering that just in Liyue you and he have made so many friends that want to say goodbye

Both Zhongli and his children are so overwhelmed with emotion that none of them cry at the service. But everyone knows how they’re feeling. 

After the service Zhongli sits his kids down and tries to explain everything to them without crying. He must stay strong for his beautiful children, he wont let himself crutch onto them.

Often when the kids are tucked away happily in bed Zhongli will visit your grave. Often with flowers, it doesn’t matter which ones. You always had a way of finding beauty in even the weeds that litter both the garden and the wilds

On more than one occasion Zhongli has found Xiao and Ganyu silently saying goodbye to you. In all honesty you were the reason why the human adepti started seeing the ex-archon in the first place. It’s only right they offer their blessings to the person who bought them closer to the only father figure they have

As the years pass your loss has gotten easier. Zhongli still visits your grave often and occasionally brings the kids to say hello. 

Though Hu Tao cannot help but note that Zhongli still wears his wedding ring on his finger. And sometimes, she can catch glimpses of what she can only presume to be your wedding ring hanging around his neck.

Zhongli isn’t going to be letting your memory within him die anytime soon

Xiao

Having a mortal lover really wasn’t the best plan for Xiao. But he had always pictured at least you getting old. That way it would be less painful for the adeptus to let you go.

But fate obviously didn’t want that for him

He should have been more careful about having you near. You had helped him open up, so much so displays of PDA were something that he really began to enjoy. Holding your hand as you wonder about Wangshu’s market stalls, or kissing each others cheeks just when you feel like it

That’s what must have enticed the Abyss to target you. While you were defenseless

It was just a night like any other. Xiao had decided to go out for some monster slaying. He had noticed a slowly growing presence and generally a night out slaying monsters cleared out the area for a week or two

And it was going great until he heard the bloodcurdling scream of his name. If Xiao wasn’t a lightning fast adepti the scream of his name alone would have caused him to cry

The scene as he entered your room was much worse

The first thing he notices is the smell of the elemental traces of the abyss, but that smell is quickly overpowered by a metallic smell Xiao has become more than acquainted over in his lifetime. Blood

They you are lead on your bed, somewhere that should have been a safe space for both you and Xiao by extension

“Xiao” you speak again between laboured breaths, he is by your side in an instant, he clasps your hand in his

“Tell me who, I’ll ki-” he says before you interrupt

“shh” you shush with a weak smile “Xiao, I’ll” you pause coughing “I’ll find you in my next life, I promise” you manage to say

“[name], [name] stay with me!” Xiao yells as he begins to shake your body. It’s obvious from your glassy eyes and lack of breath that you’re not going to

Xiao leaves Goldet to clean up the room of blood, and you as he tracks down the culprit of your demise

He eventually does. But Xiao realises that much time has passed since your death. How long had he been pursuing this abyss herald? Days? Weeks?

When Xiao returns to Wangshu Goldet almost hugs him exclaiming that she and her husband had been worried sick. They had almost come to the conclusion that he to had taken his own life

“How long have I been gone?” Xiao inquires

“Four months” Goldet responds “We tried to hold [name]’s funeral back as much as we could, but we buried them three months ago. I’m sorry Xiao”

The adepti shakes his head. A million thoughts race his mind as he ponders what he should do next. Visit the grave and make himself be lost in your memory? Or just bury you in his head like he had done with the yaksha during the war?

He settles on both

Xiao visits your grave and says his goodbyes. He sets up some incense to help your spirit rest if its in turmoil before he turns to leave your grave. Your memory is like a wound. He will bury it in the sand like all the others in due time

A hundred years later is when he visits your grave again. Not because he forgot to before. But because this wound of your memory has infected his brain. In the last decade your memories have resurfaced once more

The memories range from the first time the two of you shared a kiss, shared the bed to when he had reached you in the bedroom

Xiao wonders to the promise your dying breaths offered, were they an empty promise like all other dying breaths? Or was this a true one?

“You know I’ve been tending to this grave for the last decade or so” a voice behind Xiao speaks. “My name isn’t [name] but I think I am them” the voice continues standing just behind the yaksha

“A hundred years is a little long for you to have grown” Xiao tells the figure behind him. You hum

“I think I was blessed by the gods” you confess “For I am truly a century old”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #zhongli #xiao #genshin zhongli #genshin xiao

[the-ghost-king]

thoughts on nico as the camp counselor/camp leader or whatever percy was after he leaves chb

Yeah! It’s honestly a great idea to me because I head canon Nico to be quite good with kids:

In the beginning he’s really nervous, he hasn’t interacted with children since he was a kid, so he is a bit worried about fucking up

Between Will and Jason, and some other friends who have more experience being at Camp(s) full time, Nico gets more comfortable around kids and being helpful

Once he realizes that he’s not like all the bad people who he was around as a kid, he gets more comfortable and realizes he’s not a horrible influence on the kids and he wont hurt them

He also had to learn a lot about kids because 1930s gender roles were really strict and he had no experience because of that, so he didn’t really know what he was doing at all

Luckily for Nico he has good instincts and an infectious child-like wonder about him, so kids like him and latch on to him because of that

He’s really chill to be around and generally quite open, also kids like him because he treats them like humans with complex mental processes (like they are) and he admits when he doesn’t know things, or if they ask questions he gives honest answers

He sees a cool plant and the woods and is like “oh shit! look! cool plant!” and points it out to all the kids and all the kids are like “wow! cool plant! what kind?” and then Nico racks his brain for information he learned from Persephone and Demeter

And then all the kids are like “you’ve met Persephone and Demeter?” and they start asking him questions about that and he answers

And everyone who’s helping assist is confused in the beginning, but after this sort of thing becomes a common experience and people get used to how kids react towards him they all sort of just laugh fondly at the interactions

Nico is a good teacher when it comes to a variety of things, he has a good intellectual understanding of the world, and he has the experience to back it up so people go to him with all sorts of questions, if he doesn’t know he admits to it (and sometimes adds “but I’ll look into it”), but if he does know he’s going to infodump everything he knows about it for days 

He’ll keep coming back with little things he forgot to mention for a solid week after you first ask, but people nod along because they like him and he’s polite and knowledgeable and also you don’t want to offend the son of Hades

(His friends don’t tell him people are still a bit scared of him, because it makes Nico sad and he doesn’t like it, so they avoid mentioning it unnecessarily as much as they possibly can)

Nico is one of those people who genuinely enjoys being around kids, he finds their paint projects, and all the weird trinkets they bring along genuinely cool and he’s interested in going looking for trinkets along with them or creating art beside them

His only real annoyance with kids is when they’re sticky and he doesn’t know why (the classic “why are your hands sticky/wet? where did it come from? what were you doing?” type questions that permeate every long term interaction with a kid). 

The only other one he ever gets is sometimes kids are a little too illogical for him to follow along with, and although he’s generally pretty chill and go with the flow, there are times when children just do not understand action-and-consequence and/or they will not listen to you trying to explain to them further, and he gets sort of lost on how to communicate with them for a minute or two afterwards.

He can generally bounce back pretty fast from that though, it only really takes him a few minutes, and usually he goes to Will upset, “why does the kid not like me anymore? what did I do wrong?” and Will looks at him silly because the kids always like him and “Nico you can’t take it as a personal offense if they cut you off in the middle of an infodump on queer history and it’s connection modern unions their brain cannot handle that long term of information, go try to talk about pirates or dinosaurs or something.”

And then everything works out pretty good

I could also see him being good friends/taking care of Meg (big brother/fatherly sort of figure to her) because they have a lot of shared childhood experiences in some ways

#nico di angelo #asks #anon #pjo

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

#hl #stayed up till 5 am writing this so if the quality worsens through the post thats why #ik the og larries think they never broke up and i have mad respect for them #again this is just what i got from listening to the songs back to back #we all have our own opinions #none of us know ANYTHING #dm if you wanna discuss tho! #larry #larry stylinson #larry timeline #larry is real #larry masterpost #larry breakup #larry break up #larry theory #fine line analysis #walls analysis #larry analysis #louis tomlinson #Harry Styles

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

Hey gayfish!

Do you have any headcanons about how our lovely trio beginnings? (Fluffynightkiller)

Also hope you’re having an amazing day!

Oh yes Jan Yessssss. I may have a little dabble about how the lovely trio came to be and I'm happy to share this story.

So sit back, relax and enjoy a story I like to call

One Proposal, One Barista and About a Hundred Relationship Problems.

It was all Dreams fault, at least that's probably what Nightmare would say if you asked. It was his engagement which started everything.

As I've said before, Dream and Cross got engaged on set and Nightmare wasn't pleased. Despite how happy Dream was, he still needed to make sure that Dream really wanted to marry him. So he asked his brother if they could talk.

So basically Nightmare asks Dream if he's really sure that he's ready to get married, and this conversation happens

D. "of course I'm sure night! He's the love of my life!!"

N "........I was just saying that you're alittle young"

D "young? Nightmare I'm about marrying age don't you think?"

N "what?"

D "Night you and I aren't 21 anymore, I think it's the right time to start settling down, don't you?"

N "......"

N "atlest one of us is"

D "well you have Killer don't you?"

N "No...Yes.... I don't know! We aren't the same as you and Cross"

D "you and killer are on break again?"

N "yeah.... But I'm meeting him for drinks later".

D "...... Nightmare......Do you ever think that you and killer should... Maybe try the commitment thing? Because I know that you want a committed relationship"

N "commitment doesn't work for us, you know that"

D "then.... Maybe it's time you think about if killer is the right one for you"

N "Dream! You have no right to way into this"

D " Night, I know you really like him... But if he can't give you what you want..... Its something to think about"

And that's what plants the seed. Because Nightmare does start thinking about it. The harsh reality is that you can really like someone, maybe even Love someone. But in the end if they can't give you what you truly want, it might be best to walk away.

Now I feel that I should explain. Nightmare and Killer have tried to be more serious and no matter how much they both wanted it to work, it just didnt. As I've said many times, the relationship was unstable and borderline toxic at times, so as it was it could never be more then a causal thing.

Another thing I should mention is that Killer is polyamorous. I know what you are thinking 'they are all polyamorous' well yes and no. What I mean is that Killer has always been naturally poly, meaning that for him he's always found himself having romantic feelings for multiple people at once and for him, he can't ever feel fully comfortable or happy in a relationship with just one person. This isn't the case will all poly people, but it is for Killer.

So he's naturally polyamorous where as Nightmare and Ccino end up adapting to being polyamorous.

Killer however, doesn't realise this about himself and didn't even really know what polyamorous was, so he always just assumed that he was broken.

So anyway, back to the story.

Later that evening, Nightmare meets Killer for drinks. They talk like everything is normal, but what Dream said has been playing on Nightmare's mind for a long time. So he decides to bring it up.

N "you know Dream got engaged?"

K "yeah I heard, good for him"

N ".....so uhh do you think you might want to".

K "go out again for a bit? Sure"

N "no I mean... What if we were abit more committed you know?"

K "...."

N "like dream and cross are"

K. "..... Nightmare, you know as well as I do that it wont work out"

N " but"

K "Nightmare don't you remember what happened last time? We swore that this would only ever be a casual thing after that mess......."

N "... Yeah I know..."

K "..... Look I'd still like to get back together though"

N "fine."

So they get back together, but things are quite tense. Nightmare is really starting to think alot about what Dreams said. Could he be right? Was he just kidding himself by continuing to go out with Killer? Because he Loves Killer, not that he's actually told him that, but the idea of breaking up for good hurts.

On the flip side, Killer is starting to feel really guilty. Because he also loves Night and feels like he's stringing him along. If Nightmare wants a committed relationship, that he can't give him, then surely it would be better for Nightmare to be with someone else.

And this is where Ccino comes in.

About a week after Cross and Dream got engaged, the studio hired a new coffeeboy. Now as we all know, Ccino has a huge crush on Nightmare and the first time Night ordered coffee from him, he dam near had a soul attack.

But Nightmare was dense as hell and didn't notice. Killer did though.

He could see the way Ccino looked at Nightmare, the loving dreamy way and thought 'maybe that's the kind of guy Nightmare would be better with' . So since Killer didn't want to hurt Nightmare anymore, he decided that he would try to set them up! After getting to know Ccino first of course.

So he starts talking to Ccino when he goes to get his coffee. At first Ccino feels extremely embarrassed about talking to Killer. Even if he doesn't have a crush on Killer in the same way he's crushing on Nightmare, he still thinks of Killer to be a very attractive man. Also Killer's on and off relationship with Nightmare is well known, so he doesn't want to do anything to impose.

But Killer wares him down, and over time the two start talking everyday. The conversation turns into borderline flirting at times. But for the most part the two are just friendly. However it's not long till feelings start to spring forth.

Killer starts to crush on the coffee boy alot, but he doesn't actually realise. He just thinks 'wow.... He really is an amazing man.... Wonderful! I'm sure nightmare will love him'

So he starts talking him up to Nightmare, but he's mostly just using it as an excuse to gush about him abit, cuz crushes be like that.

Nightmare starts to get really uncomfortable cuz he doesn't know why Killer is acting like this. He sees how Killer looks at Ccino 'the same way he used to look at me, does he ever look at me that way any more?' over time Nightmare became more and more frustrated. This is why communication is important kids XP

Nightmare actually keeps alot of distance from Ccino because of Killer's behaviour and I'm sometimes just straight rude when ordering coffee. But Nightmare is dealing with alot.

After weeks of this, Killer asks Nightmare if they can ask Ccino to hang out with them outside of work. Nightmare is a little reluctant, but ends up agreeing.

So the 3 hang out. Ccino is very nervous to actually hang out with Nightmare, since he idolises him, but unfortunately for him Nightmare still wasn't all that friendly. He was mostly dismissive, answering questions like "mhm" and "yeah....." and "ok".

Killer on the other hand was very friendly and was often trying to get nightmare to talk to Ccino properly. In the end, Nightmare snaps.

"are you trying to tell me that you want to date him or something?! Cuz stop it! If you want to say it just say it"

At first Killer is shocked, but then slowly he realises. He realises how much of an idiot he is and he also recognises his feelings for Ccino. Just as he's about to try an apologise, Nightmare stands up.

"you know.... Dream was right, in the end you always make me sad"

And then he leaves.

Ccino starts getting really upset and apologises over and over for how his "stupid heart and stupid crushes ruined everything". Then he gets up and leaves. Killer is just left to wallow in self hate.

His feelings are so confusing to him. How can he love Nightmare but also have strong feelings for Ccino? Why does he always look elseware, even without noticing. Why does he always do this.

In the end he reaches out anonymously on some kind of subreddit and explains everything and asks what is wrong with him. It's when someone mentions the idea of him being polyamorous that everything starts to slide into place. He spends alot of time reaching and reading up on everything until it truly clicks. He's not broken, he's just not wired to be monogamous.

After this realisation he has alot of thinking to do. Because he knows that being poly is something he needs to try. But his soul aches at the idea of not having Nightmare with him any more, since he believes that they are uncompatible. But in the end, he decides he needs to take a chance for love.

He calls Nightmare and asks him to come over so that he can have a chance to explain himself.

Nightmare listens, mostly in silence and is really conflicted about what Killer is telling him. But for Killer it feels so good to finally explain.

Killer ends with saying something like:

"Nightmare..... I can try the commitment thing with you, but only if you can try the poly thing with me"

So he leaves it completely up to Nightmare, saying that if nightmare isn't OK with it then that's fine, but it means that this will be the permanent end to their relationship.

Now it's Nightmare's turn to take time to think things over. He truly thinks long and hard about everything, all the years he and killer have been on and off, all the fights, all the hook ups, all the sweet and conforming things the flirty jerk has done over the years and all the times he felt scared of losing him.

After about a week Nightmare goes to him and says that they can try, but he wants everything to be a casual experiment that he's aloud to step out of at and point, if he wants. Killer agrees to take it slow and use it as a chance to explore themselves.

This is when the two aproch Ccino with their proposal, making sure not to pressure him and explain everything. Ccino is awe struck by it, why would they choose him? They must have just been using him to experiment right? (tbh at this point I'm sure non of them thought that Ccino would end up joining the relationship in the long term, boy where they wrong)

In the end ccino figures that it's a chance he may not ever get again and their isn't really all that harm in going on one date right?

And this leads into my headcannon story 'First Kisses' where I touch on the early stages of what their relationship was. Much too all of their delights and suprise it goes really well and they all fall hard for eachother. And well, the rest is history.

And that is my full Fluffynightkiller headcannon hehehhe wooooooooo. That took so dam long to type out, I hope you all like it. It was one complex mess but once it was over it formed a great relationship. Night and Killer's relationship was an extremely disfunctional crap storm. But love found a way! LOVE FOUND A WAY!

I wanna thank teevie for being the first one to hear my headcannon out and also @kotikaleo cuz parts of this was inspired by their one.

I will also tag my fellow shippers @yuriyuruandyuraart @jann-the-bean

And last but not least the studio verse concept is by @zu-is-here

<3

#I really wanted to go to bed earlier tonight #But I really couldn't sleep #It sucks #But oh well #i wrote this #undertale au #sansest #actor nightmare #studio au #studioverse #studio verse #studio versions #studio #Fluffynight #ccinomare #Cciller #Fluffyknife #Nightkiller #Fluffynightkiller #Headcannons #I love my boys so much! #They deserve to be happy #Killer X nightmare x ccino #Nightmare x killer x ccino #Ccino x nightmare x killer #shipping #La ot3

[koi-fish96]

Ok but Yandere Surfer Hizashi x Siren Y/n

-Hizashi just got back from riding the waves, hes caring his board home when he hears what sound like growns and yelps of pain

-He runs over to behind a couple huge rocks to see a women with a pool of blood around her

-He runs over to help only to find the women has gills, once he gets a bit closer and sees A FIN!?

-When hes just close enough that he could reach out and touch her she hisses at him, sharp teeth glistening in the sun

-This isn't a women, its a siren! He cant believe his grandfathers old fishing stories where actually true

-He knows its really stupid and super dangerous to be around a siren but she clearly needs some kind of help, he kneels beside her slowly hands up in the hair to show he meant her no harm "Are you ok?"

-She hisses at him again and tries to retreat back into the water but her tail is tangles in fishing wire and bleeding pretty bad causing her to yelp every time she moves it

-He reaches out to her but she nashes at him and yelps again from the pain "Please, let me help you." The siren looked him over before closing her mouth and giving a slight nod

-He carefully scoops her into his arms and starts to lightly jog having all but forgotten his board

-Luckily he lives away from the town so he wouldn't have to jog threw it with an actual siren in his arms, to much explaining he would have to do

-He runs to the bathroom and places her in the tub as he turns it on before running to grab a pair of scissors and an emergency kit, he runs back and starts working on the sirens tail as carefully as he could while she played with a loofah she found

-She he was done she smiled at him with those sharp teeth and chirped at him in a tone he can only assume is happiness

-Even though this is supposed to be a blood thirst killing machine he smiled back, his heart fluttered at your happy chirps and over the top hand movements as you spook to him, even though he couldn't understand he was just happy to listen

-Hizashi almost only left the house to get supplies and what not he didn't want to be away from his little siren for to long

-Hizashi notices her happiness slowly begins to fade as her tail gets more healed

-Who wouldn't be sad, she went from the vastness of the ocean to only being able to sit up and lay down in a bathtub

-Hizashi brought her out and let her go in his large pool in the fenced off back yard which seemed to make her happy once again, he was even able to get in with her

-He liked how she held him like he was some kind of kid who didn't know how to swim, maybe in her eyes he was I mean a siren born and raised in the water probably has so much more experience than Hizashi so he let her teach him some of her 'tricks' to stay afloat and maybe he milked the 'cant swim' thing a bit to hard but she was so cute doting over him

-Sure shes healed enough to go back to the ocean now but Hizashi's heart hurt just thinking about letting her go...maybe he can get a house with an indoor pool so him and his darling can both be happy

Ok but depending on who ever's genes are stronger someones gonna have a heard time understanding the language barrier, if {in this story at least} sirens have their own language, like the clicks and chirps, so if the child gets the siren voice cords Hizashi wont understand his own kid but if the kid gets the human communication skills/parts they wont understand their mom

But Siren Y/n can speak siren and understand human so its kinda a "win/win" for them {other then the child no understanding them part}

#my hero acadamy #boku no hero academia #present mic #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere my hero academia #yandere present mic

[emmaaaasalvatore]

im sorry; tony starks

warnings: bad parenting, cursing, sad ending.

pairings: tony starks x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x stark!reader, Steve rogers x reader, Natasha Romanoff x reader

_______________________________________________

* flash back *

“ no sign of my dad yet ?” I whispered into my little ear piece as I stand in line for my diploma, “ no kiddo” Steve responds back “ you want me to call him again” Natasha asked “ no guys it’s fine, I’m glad that you guys are here” I looked at Peter and he gave me a sad smile.

“ I’m fine Peter, before you ask” he lets out a sad chuckle “ I’m sorry babe” he kissed my forehead “ y/n stark ?” I walked onto the stage and grabbed my diploma and started my speech “ well in my fantasy I would said thank you to my dad but in reality I want to say thank you to my second dad Steve Rogers and my other mom Natasha romanoff, ever since I was little they have taken care of me when my dad was too busy sleeping with people or too worried about making money instead of spending time with me-“

“ you guys might think ‘oh but your dad is like crazy rich why aren’t you happy ?’ Money can’t buy happiness, at least not for me.” Everyone claps and I walked off the stage, I meet up with Peter and my ‘parents’ and they give me a hug “ We are so proud of you y/n” Natasha says “ thank you guys for everything” I smiled “ you wanna go home to get changed and then we go out to eat ?” I nodded.

- at home -

I walked into the house to find my dad and his little girl playing and running around the house “ go get changed love” Peter whispered and I nodded “ where the hell have you been young lady ?” My father asked as he stopped running and I scoffed “ I was at my graduation” I announced and he picked up Morgan “ no you weren’t, you graduation was last month” I let out a hurt laugh “ and guess what that shows that you wouldn’t even have been there last month, it was today for gods sake !” I shouted.

“ do not get angry with me young lady ” my father said as pepper walked into the living room to get Morgan “ I have every right to be angry with you, instead of being at my graduation today, you were here playing with Morgan- something you never did with me” he rolled his eyes “ this is because of jealousy” I threw my graduation hat to the floor “ you’re right it is because of jealousy ! I have to fight for your attention- which I don’t even get- while Morgan gets it for breathing. And for someone who isn’t grateful for things, you sure have to be grateful for Steve and Natasha- they were and are the parents I never got” I went to my room and slammed my door.

“ what the hell did I do-“ Steve shushed him “ you do everything except be there for your daughter who is going through a lot because of you” Steve goes to walk away but tony gets a message “ there’s an emergency around here, tell y/n we have to go” Steve just simple nodded and walked to your room, “ love, are you okay? We have to go on a mission before we got out to celebrate” I opened the door “ okay” I got ready and we left.

When we arrived to the place we were at, there we multiple robots and other weird things. I couldn’t help but freak out. As I was fighting I realized I didn’t put my suit on correctly before I left so I went to hide to put it on correctly when I saw Morgan and pepper walk to where I was going, I ignored them and started putting my suit on correctly when everything happened so fast.

Pepper pulled me in front of her and Morgan, I felt a sharp pain right next to my heart and dropped to the floor, pepper screamed and everyone came running over “ Y/N !” Steve yelled covered my wound “ y-you’re going to be okay baby” he brushed my hair back as Natasha ran over to me and started crying “ TONY !” She yelled, my dad came running over here “ I-I don’t wanna die da-dad, I don’t want to go”.

Peter didn’t know what was going on until he walked over here and gasped “ Y/N ?” He pushed everyone out of the way “ b-baby focus, focus on me” I looked at him and he chuckled “tha-thank god you’re alright” he said until I started coughing up blood “ I-I’m sorry- I’m sorry guys for ruining this. I know I’m going to die and I just wanna say that I love all of you guys here a lot and that I’m especially sorry for everything dad.” I said using my last breath.

and just like that i was gone. “ NO SHE - SHE CANT BE DEAD I WONT ALLOW IT” Tony yelled as he started crying, pepper went to hug him but he pushed her “ WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE ANYWAYS” she gulped “ I-I don’t know” he let out a maniac type of laugh “ get the hell out of here pepper and take Morgan” he said as she started walking away.

Steve held Peter as he started crying hysterically, Natasha couldn’t believe any of this, Thor killed every robot and didn’t know what was going on “ what happened guys, where’s y/n ?-“ he looked at my dead body and ran to me “ y/n? Y/n wake up” he shook my body and I didn’t, he let out a soft sob. Tony couldn’t stop crying “ my baby - my baby girl is gone. I can’t believe it”

* present time*

it’s been a year since you died, everyone visited your grave today “ hey my love- I miss you everyday” Natasha said crying “ I can’t believe you’re gone baby” peter said putting flowers by your grave “ I love you y/n, I always have and always will and will never stop” Tony sighed “ i-I’m sorry y/n, I’m sorry I let you down, I’m sorry you died and couldn’t even experience what it was like to be an adult” he puts a hand on your grave.

“ hey Tony” Steve says “ mm?” Tony looks up “ I’m thankful for everything you have done for but I’m really thankful that you decided to keep y/n” Natasha let out a sad laugh “ I am too, I remember when she took her first step because she saw you walk threw the door” Steve laughed as he started crying even more “ w-when was this ?” Tony asked feeling horrible as shit because he wasn’t there “ you Weren’t there” natasha rolled her eyes.

“ her 7th birthday, she wore the iron man dress and pretended that she was iron girl” Steve laughed at the memory “ I miss her so much nat” Natasha pulls him into a hug “ so thank you Tony for keeping y/n, because without that little girl I probably wouldn’t have been happy like I was before she died, she was my baby, the one and only kid I liked and loved like my own”

Steve agreed “ and that little girl will be revenged,” he turned to your grave and Tony did also “ I promise you will baby girl” Tony whispered.

_______________________________________________

a/n: I lowkey cried for this LMAOOO.

#tony stark x teen!reader #tony stark x stark!reader #steve rogers #peter parker x tony stark #peter parker x y/n #steve x reader #natasha x reader

[irkenheretic]

there is so much potential for tallest angst and it makes me sad that ppl dont really take advantage of it

like... theyre zims age! a lot of people talk about the horrors of irk using child soldiers with zim, but nobody talks about their child leaders. have you Ever been in charge of something Really Important? ok now raise the stakes.

these children are in charge of a whole empire. if they fuck up, millions could die. relationships with other planets could crumble. (and irk DOES have those- the irken/planet jacker treaty for one, and the agreeement btwn irkens and inquisitorians. also the past alliance with vort)

like.... no wonder they just sit around eating snacks all day! bc the alternative is Doing Something, and the empire is so impossibly large that its impossible to compartmentalize! you CANNOT predict what one little action could do to the Balance Of Things! like, of course red and purple just sit around and ignore all the shit they need to do. theyre KIDS with ZERO life experience!

and the fact that they were elites plays into this too. it was drilled into them to Shut Up And Take Orders. but now THEYRE the ones delivering the orders? best to just... leave it be.

(and lets be real, the tallest either get NO training for their new position bc of the belief that they intrinsically know how bc theyre Tall And Good, OR the training they do get is specifically designed to squash any desire to Do Stuff so theyre subservient to the control brains and dont do shit behind their backs)

I DIDNT EVEN GET INTO THE CONTROL BRAINS. its pretty much accepted that the brains run the show. the tallest answer to them. what if red and purple DID want to genuinely do something when they were appointed? they were ELITES for fucksake, do yall know how HARD it is to be a soldier? how demanding it is?? now think about how much worse itd be with super militaristic irkens!! these two are NOT lazy- at least, not back then.

what if when they were appointed, they genuinely wanted to DO stuff. but the control brains shot them down time and time again, so they just... settled. accepted its just a power play and lazed around and ate snacks. bc what else were they supposed to do?? why bother thinking up ways to strengthen the military or improve the economy if the control brains wont let them put those plans into action??

hell, maybe they want to change stuff but have no idea where to start because theyre young and the empire is INCOMPREHENSABLY HUGE. high school students have trouble writing a fuckin lit analysis paper, you really think the tallest can bring about any meaningful change??

its just... they handed power to two kids. they had to go through mutilation to be where they are. (the thumbs thing- even if they hid them in their gauntlets, that prospect... had to have freaked them out.) and then they were hit by the reality that they cannot do anything. the greatest position an irken could possibly have is nothing but a lie. good snacks and leisure in exchange for any real power.

like. no wonder theyre jerks. theyre young and need an outlet and werent raised with the be-nice-to-people values humans were raised with. theyre assholes to everyone, zim especially- and i LOVE zim, i love him to death- but despite that, i cant really blame red and purple. theyre just being jerk ass kids, who were never raised not to be jerk asses.

theyre kids. this should not have happened. if theres a horror in zim being a child soldier, then theres a horror in red and purple being child leaders, stuck unable to do anything.

#invader zim #tallest red #tallest purple #FUCK IT *PUTS IT IN THE TAGS* #DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW THEY POSSIBLY ENVY ZIM #like. he can do whatever the fuck he wants and gets away w it. and he CHANGES shit... its bad shit but like #still!!! more than they can do!!!! also the fact that if rapr is a thing then the tallest are ABSOLUTELY defective so thats an extra layer #of envy. zim is defective and he can do whatever the fuck he wants bc nobody cares and he Cannot Be Killed. while they have #to obsessively hide bc theyre under a constant spotlight. fun!!!!! #live from conventia #meta tag