#it is such a great hp parody

[personinthepalace]

Saw my local high school’s production of PUFFS today and it was AMAZING!! I saw the proshot a few years ago, and I remember loving it, and this production reminded me how much I loved it. Some highlights under the cut:

- First off the set!! It looks amazing - so much details! Also there’s a pride flag next to the Hufflepuff door :)

- Narrator mentions England and “Finland Finland” starts playing. It is a reused joke from the school’s production of Spamalot earlier this year, and I just love that so much haha

- I don’t remember the details of the proshot but this production’s version of Wayne’s dad reminds me of Dewey from Legally Blonde the Musical

- Harry is played by a really tall boy and omigod he looks so much like what book Harry would like. Also since he’s tall, he bends over when he has to hug Dumbledore and stuff like that which I think is cute

- Ron and Hermione are mops. It’s so funny to watch Harry walking around and talking to his mop friends. Also Harry slow dancing with Ron the mop 😂

- First Dumbledore had a huge beard wig while Second totally not different Dumbledore didn’t have the beard. (Also Dumbledore was played by a girl)

- There was a part where Oliver accidentally started talking when it was Megan’s turn so they had to try to backtrack and restart, and that gave me tptgw vibes in the best way haha

- During the Yuletide Ball, Wayne and his partner were doing some really funny moves. The audience was laughing throughout that whole scene while Oliver and Megan were having their cute awkward talk. Also Harry dancing with Mop Ron in the corner 😂

- A girl played Totally Real Mad Eye Moody and omigod she had the best costume! I loved her trenchcoat and that huge eye she had haha

- Voldemort’s nose had a bandage on it but during his first scene, it kept on falling off. The actor improvised a bit, telling one of the Death Eaters to stick it back on for him. The guy also failed to stick it back on. The audience was laughing so hard and then Voldemort turned to the audience and was like stop laughing! I’m gonna take my anger out on this Death Eater now and it’s all your fault. Ahhh so much tptgw/chris bean vibes! (also I completely forgot that Cedric and Voldemort are played by the same actor and I had to check the playbill haha)

- the Narrator threw out chocolates and tissues into the audience

- Voldemort walked out along the front issue and shouted through a glowing megaphone. Also more audience interactions. Truly a highlight haha

- Everyone cheering and clapping during the battle scenes whenever the Puffs beat the Death Eaters! And then everyone gasping and shouting when someone died (I was one of those people bc I forgot that happened haha)

- The Narrator was played by a girl so Wayne Jr was a girl!

I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can remember now. The stand out actors for me were Harry and Cedric/Voldemort. The whole cast were super talented though and it was so fun to spot who I recognized from Spamalot earlier this year! Also it was a one act play and I thought that they were going to condense it down somehow to an hour and a half but it turned out to be a 2 hrs and a half?? Didn’t believe the time at first when I checked my phone after we left the theatre haha. But anyway such a great show and I truly wish I could watch this production all over again!

#puffs #puffs the play #puffs play #highly recommend this show!! #I love it so much #it is such a great hp parody #(personally enjoy it more than avpm 😆) #harry potter parody #about me #theatre stuff #what I did today #rambles in the palace #long post

[nightlyponder]

i can appreciate that spenser is aware that they have 4? episodes to get through so he has to jump cut to the new scene when it feels like things have played out enough, but he nearly fucked us at the end cutting away from marion screaming in sean's arms.

luckily the taking of scars allowed for more scene time to play that out more. sometimes you gotta let the scene breathe before moving on

#the short series do have the time constraint so i get it #but so much of the appeal of live action rpgs is the dynamics between the characters #its so character driven #like a great plot is cool but i feel confident in saying we're mostly here for the characters #thats why misfits and magic was so well liked by me and my homies - the most important people obviously #like sure its a parody of hp great whatever #but those character conversations? they CARRIED that short series #so i want a little more of that for Candela Obscura bc i think the cast has done a good job of tying these characters' backgrounds together #and forming strong bonds which is a great foundation for the interactions we're getting and will get

[sophsicle]

hey soph! i don’t know if you’ve talked about this in here before, but i really do love your writing style and your storytelling and i was wondering if you have any book recommendations or favorite writers you enjoy and feel inspired by! i’ve been struggling to find books i feel connected to the same way i do with fic so i was wondering if you have any recs for that :) sorry to bother in case this is too nosy!!!

Okay, I have talked about this before but i'm gonna give a slightly different version of this list, that's sort of suited to like, books i think are specifically good bridge between fanfiction and published works and also that i love (i am sure i have recommended all of these in some way before BUT)

The Green Creek Series by TJ Klune (Wolfsong, Ravensong, Heartstrong, Brothersong) it's queer, found family and werewolves, but very hp-esque in the type of fantasy, like our world but there just happen to be werewolves (and also witches), and if you like the way i write you'll probably like Klune because we have very similar styles, in general just an absolute gem of a series

Villains series by V. E Schawb (Vicious, Vengeful), angsty anti-heroes and complicated friendships for dayyyysssss, i feel like if you like Regulus you will appreciate the protagonists of this series - victor

Simon Snow series by Rainbow Rowell (Carry On, Wayward Son, Anyway the Wind Blows) started very much as a parody of drarry fanfiction, but by the second book turns into a genuinely excellent stand alone series (not that the first book isn't great, it IS, i just think it plays into the gimmick a bit more, where as the second and third books are just sincerely good), but wizard-orphan-chosen-one falls in love with his school nemesis and they fight the big baddy and deal with the consequences etc.

A Gathering of Shadows series by V.E Schawb (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, A Conjuring of Light) probably the most traditional fantasy, the first book drags, the second two are PHENOMENAL, you have triwizard tournament meets hunger games, gay pirate queer love story, brother angst, the whole shebang!

#soph rambles

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/733663911945142272/since-im-seeing-the-harry-potter-asks-on-here#notes

Ok I never read the HP books, so it took me until saw some random trivia for HP that the houses all had specific ways of getting into the dorms common rooms and thereby their bedrooms.

Ya know, Gryffindor? Weekly password. Cool cool, easy enough. Simple.

Green snakes? Magic ID-DNA system. Ok, interesting, I mean that's a pretty big leap from a basic ass password that resets every week. Like this is actually a proper barrier and magical. Ok then.

But then I read about the Badgers and the Raven-Eagles...

Badgers have a fucking rythm game? You hit some drum barrels to the beat? What? What if you don't have rythm? I thought this was a joke because it sounds like something you'd do as a parody, because it's like a toddlers piano game. Also one of the barrels vomits on you if you fuck it up.

And the Raven-Eagles? "Yeah we're gonna give you some random as fuck question, hope you're smart because otherwise you ain't getting in!" I think this one irritated me the most because the blue ones don't even need to be smart, they can be artistic or otherwise creatively gifted and you might still have to solve the fucking Da Vinci code to change your panties. This one also feels the least like an actual measure to protect your "house" and more like a shitpost idea by someone who just wants to piss off some kids. Great, so you have like 11 yo kids who can't enter their dorm because the question given needs some big brain senior year brain to answer. No one better need to shit unless you know the (canon) poop vanishing spell.

--

[thecreaturecodex]

Tricolor Dragon

Image © @tredlocity

[Sponsored by @crazytrain48. Originally called the “rainbow dragon”, when it’s only red white and blue. The “rainbow dragon” originates after Arduin had gone from “David Hargrave’s homebrew D&D” to “David Hargrave’s replacement D&D”, and after the publication of the original AD&D Monster Manual. I wonder if, therefore, a multiheaded, multicolored dragon that’s not very smart is supposed to be an homage/parody of Tiamat. The sponsor wanted me to work some Tiamat reference into the text despite her not being PF canon (as a five headed super chromatic dragon; thanks @strawberry-crocodile​ for pointing out that primal saltwater goddess Tiamat does exist), and I was happy to oblige.

Also, is the art great or what? Tred consistently nails that cartoony high fantasy feeling I associate with Arduin.]

Tricolor Dragon CR 10 CN Dragon This dragon has red white and blue scales—the red is most common on the body, the white on the wings and the blue on the head. One of its heads has red accents in the form of its horns and beard, one of its heads has white accents, and the third blue. Each head bears a different expression.

A tricolor dragon is a strange cross between multiple types of chromatic dragons and hydras. Their origins are unknown. Hypotheses range from wild magic to fleshwarping, or even as an homage to a multiheaded dragon god from another multiverse. Few tricolor dragons care much to inquire, and individual heads may even disagree among themselves. Each head of a tricolor dragon has a slightly different personality—white heads tend to be the most hedonistic, blue the most logical and red the most self-assured. Tricolor dragons are despised by chromatic dragons in general, and their counterpart colors especially. Red dragons disdain them for their stupidity, blue dragons see them as dangerously reckless, and white dragons especially are jealous of their magical prowess.

Although tricolor dragons are slightly stupid by human standards, they have very strong personalities and an inherent gift for magic. They can speak all languages reflexively and even cast multiple spells at once by using multiple heads, although this is tiring and the dragons can’t do so too frequently. Each head has a different breath weapon, with the color of the head corresponding to the element type. They typically rotate between breath weapons, but if sorely pressed, the tricolor dragon can use all three at once. And if they run out of magic tricks, they still have the physique and natural weapons of a dragon. They are slower in the air than true dragons of their size, but much more maneuverable. 

Tricolor dragons are very curious about magic, although they tend to have too short of attention spans for real serious study. Most tricolor dragons spent their time enjoying their hoards, lazing about in freshwater, or simply talking to themselves. They are especially fond of elves, and do not discriminate between alignments or lineages in this case (which can result in either conflicts or reconciliations between surface elves and drow). They care little about coinage; a tricolor dragon prefers quantity to quality, and will gladly trade a small pile of gold for a larger one of copper. Magic items, however, they covet, and stealing even a minor wand or spell scroll from a tricolor dragon is a sure way to make an enemy for life.

Tricolor dragons are good parents, and mother and father raise their children together. Family ties are important to tricolor dragons, and adult children may visit their parents for extended periods (although this is usually accompanied by good-natured bickering).

Tricolor Dragon    CR 10 XP 9,600 CN Huge dragon Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft., detect magic, low-light vision, Perception +19 Defense AC 22, touch 10, flat-footed 20 (-2 size, +2 Dex, +12 natural) hp 138 (12d12+60) Fort +13, Ref +10, Will +10 DR 10/magic; Immune paralysis, sleep; Resist cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10; SR 21 Defensive Abilities slippery mind Offense Speed 60 ft., fly 100 ft. (good maneuverability), swim 60 ft. Melee 3 bites +18 (1d10+8), 2 claws +18 (1d8+8) Space 15 ft.; Reach 10 ft. (15 ft. with bite) Special Attacks breath weapon (90 ft. line, 6d6 cold, electricity or fire, Ref DC 21, 1d4 rounds), multibreath, multicasting Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +16 (+20 casting defensively) Constant—detect magic, tongues Spells CL 9th, concentration +13 (+17 casting defensively) 4th (5/day)—confusion (DC 18), wall of ice 3rd (7/day)—clairaudience/clairvoyance, displacement, fireball (DC 17) 2nd (7/day)—blindness/deafness (DC 16), bull’s strength, see invisibility, scorching ray 1st (7/day)—identify, mage armor, magic missile, ray of enfeeblement (Dc 15), shocking grasp 0th—arcane mark, dancing lights, detect poison, mage hand, message, prestidigitation, read magic, resistance Statistics Str 26, Dex 15, Con 20, Int 9, Wis 10, Cha 19 Base Atk +12; CMB +22; CMD 34 (38 vs. trip) Feats Alertness, Combat Casting, Combat Reflexes (B), Empower Spell, Eschew Materials (B), Flyby Attack, Iron Will, Power Attack Skills Bluff +17, Fly +15, Knowledge (arcana) +12, Perception +19, Sense Motive +17, Spellcraft +12, Swim +16; Racial Modifiers +2 Perception Languages Draconic, tongues SQ multiheaded reflexes Ecology Environment any hills Organization solitary, pair or family (3-6) Treasure double standard Special Abilities Multibreath (Su) As a full round action, a tricolor dragon can use all three of its breath weapons at once. It may choose to breathe them in different directions, or fill the same line with two or three of its weapons. Creatures caught in the area of multiple breath weapons get a separate Reflex save for each. When a tricolor dragon uses this ability, it must wait 3d4 rounds to use any of its breath weapons. Multicasting (Su) As a full round action, a tricolor dragon can cast up to six levels of spells (0th level spells count as 1st level spells for this purpose). These spells can be modified with metamagic feats with no increase to casting time, but the tricolor dragon expends spell slots as normal. A tricolor dragon can use this ability three times per day, but must wait 1d4 rounds between uses. Multiheaded Reflexes (Ex) A tricolor dragon gains Combat Reflexes as a bonus feat. It can always make at least three attacks of opportunity, one bite attack with each head, no matter its Dexterity score. Slippery Mind (Ex) If a tricolor dragon is affected by an enchantment spell or effect and fails its saving throw, she can attempt it again 1 round later at the same DC. It gets only this one extra chance to succeed on its saving throw. Spells A tricolor dragon can cast spells as a 9th level sorcerer. It does not gain any other benefits of the sorcerer class, such as bloodline powers, unless it takes levels in sorcerer.

#tricolor dragon #rainbow dragon #arduin #D&D #tiamat #retro fantasy #tredlocity #sponsored post

[wetthandss]

The Creature that Opened the Door

(parody creepypasta)

It is a dark night on October the 31th, 2023. The darkness that fell across the land on this night was no ordinary darkness. This was a darkness that was all-encompassing, with the ability to absorb all light that dares stray within it, where the tall, looming street lamps watching over the lifeless street, streaked with roadkill and dried blood, would flicker as if shivering from the cold, cold absence. The cowardly moon was non-existent, hiding from the horror that would be inflicted onto our unexpecting world. Never before in human history was there a night akin to this one. This was an event, an event for the darkest terror that will show its bare body to humanity to prove that fear is more real than we thought. It was a darkness that now makes the very lights in my room flicker, as I sit here and type in an adrenaline-fueled craze to you, creepypastaforums.net, in what could very well be my last moments, as one of these nameless terrors has come for me. 

Before I can even speak of the unknowable grotesquerie intruding  so rudely upon my typically safe and comfortable existence, I must tell you the full story that has lead up to this point, of I, in my Pikachu™ pyjamas, a character from the Pokémon franchise by Game Freak Incorporated and Nintendo Company, Limited, cowering on my grey bed sheets surrounded by a fortress of grey pillows and tented within my grey blanket, typing frantically on my HP Laptop 15-dy2xxx. The panic in my heart is so great that I’m afraid that the fear contained within the electrical currents of my fingers as I slam them onto the beige metallic keys will pass deep into the system, such that I may overload the 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-1135G7 @ 2.40GHz, 2401 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 8 Logical Processor(s), and cut my desperate and urgent message to the people of this forum short. It is my greatest hope that this does not occur before I can retrieve your aid, so I will write with the utmost brevity and in the most economical nature I can muster. 

You may wonder why this is my first route of attaining help, so I give you this; I come to you only because I truly believe that you, the internet creepypasta community, will believe my story. You, who are accustomed to reading fictional stories like this on a daily basis, I assure you this is no fiction. What you are reading is very very non-fiction, and the current events that will transpire in the rest of this post are in fact happening to me at this very moment. If you are reading this… Please continue reading to the very end. I request your help immediately with these very pressing matters, threatening my very life with death; or worse. However, to truly help me with my dire plight, the context of the day must be established. 

This morning was a morning like any other. At eight o’clock ante meridiem, central standard time, I awoke from a pleasant dream. In that morning’s episode of wistful sleep-fantasy, I was farming oversized pieces of candy corn in a wide, flat and halloween-coloured field. Upon waking, I reflected on what this could mean, as I am a believer that dreams are the transporters of messages from our subconscious to our conscious selves (Criticise me in the comments all you want, I do not care and will block with impunity). I believe that I had this dream due to my affinity for the Halloween season, which with today being the day of October 31st, has reached its climax after much anticipation. Ever since I was but a wee babe toddling in the streets, I have loved the holiday known as Halloween. Being not just socially allowed but encouraged to dress in a thin plastic mockery of my favourite fictional characters such as Batman™ from DC Comics, Incorporated and Bumblebee™ from the Transformers™ franchise owned by Hasbro, Incorporated. Now, at the age of eight, my interest in Halloween has not dampened. I consider it my favourite holiday, and over the years the joy of the season has only increased exponentially.. 

After waking up from the dream, a slow process that took around 20.2 minutes before I was able to rip my lethargic body off from the grey bed sheets, wearing my signature Pikachu™ pyjamas of course. I drank the goblet of water waiting for me at my bedside desk and stood up. I took in the familiar sights, sounds, and smells around me. My black glass desk was exactly where I left it last night, against the wall and at the corner of my bed, where I set my various items that I make use of while lying in bed at night, such as my water goblet, my books, and this very laptop that I write this urgent message to you on. I do a lot of my professional work at this desk, and it has served me very well over the years. My tall cupboards were set against the far wall, containing my favourite paraphernalia from various children’s toy franchises and video game memorabilia. The most notable of these assorted models was my LEGO™ collection, which I am quite proud of. It contains many models of my own making, such as a giant clam with an engine on its shell or my masterpiece, a cool aeroplane flame decal on its sides. 

A second, larger desk sits across my bed, set against the wall opposite my bed. Taking up the entire surface of the desk at its top is a glass terrarium, the comfortable warm home of my beloved pet lizard, Bad Omen, who needed his terrarium’s light turned on each and every morning. I glided deftly to the terrarium, and reached behind to flip the small lightswitch that activates his heat lamps, which brings beautiful light and warmth to his utopian little world. As I leaned forward, I noticed something very wrong with Bad Omen. While usually he would be lying there, poking his head out from the small rock-like dome he enjoys slumbering within, his angry eyes closed shut until his very own personal sunrise, now he was lying with his entire body out of his rock-like dome, and lying on his back rather than his belly. His eyes were wide open and hyperrealistic, which is actually considerably normal considering he is in fact a real lizard, and for the rest of the circumstances surrounding the orientation of this poor lizard, and for whom I must repeat again his name is Bad Omen, and whose eyes were bleeding profusely, having already filled a few millimetres of the tank. The blood continued to pour out, I thought it must have been going on for hours before my waking. I screamed and pulled away from the tank, beginning to wail for my loss. 

My dear mummy heard my cries, and swiftly rushed into my room to check up on me and investigate  why I was screaming. The first thing she saw as she came into the room was my wide open mouth, my uvula undulating with the force of my screams, big stupid infant tears streaming down my face from my wavering and watery pathetic eyes, bloodshot from the raw emotion pouring through them. The second thing my mother saw was that which my nimble index finger was pointing towards across the room, to Bad Omen’s terrarium, where he lay dead in a pool of crimson. She, too, could not help but scream at the sight, but her senses caught up with her and she ran from my room to get her forklift. She drove down the hallway and into my room, and used it to lift the terrarium up and transport it from my room. As the sight of my dead pet left me, I stopped crying, and as my mother came back to my room she held me, comforted me and let me breastfeed from her teat. I quickly calmed down, and wiped the remaining fat tears from my eyes with the yellow sleeve of my Pikachu™ pyjamas. My mother patted me on the head and promised me an excellent breakfast, which she had just finished and laid out on the dining room table. 

I followed my mother out for breakfast. She was not lying, my mother had indeed constructed a magnificent feast, which was laid out expertly on the table. The blue and white floral tablecloth was spread out smoothly, the gorgeous background for a banquet of Honey Smacks™ cereal (property of Kellanova) and a tall goblet of orange juice. I sat at my end of the table, and waited for my mother to seat herself at the other end. For five minutes I waited, drooling from my eager and hungry mouth as she walked to the other, very far end of the dining table. The thought of my freshly deceased pet left my mind as the chemical smell of the cereal wafted into my nose, my olfactory senses overloaded with the smell of 40.4 grams of sugar. My mother sat down across from me, shooting off her flare to signal me to begin eating. The next 4 minutes were spent consuming the cereal and juice, which I enjoyed immensely. This was my standard Monday breakfast. I also did not have school today, nor would I have school until Wednesday, which is tomorrow days away at the time that I am writing this dire warning to you, but I am afraid that I may not survive to the next day, as the beast, whatever it may be, whatever combination of horrors the universe has in its utter cruelty hath given to me, is at my door. It is however of the utmost importance that I continue to tell you the sequence of events that lead to the present moment, so that you may aid me, or, if the worst comes to pass, not make the same mistakes as me. 

After I had finished breakfast, my mother walked back to my end of the table and wiped my chin, specked with milk and orange juice, with a tissue. She shot the tissue into the trash can as if she were a professional basketball player throwing a professional basketball into a professional basketball hoop. This amused me, I found it humorous to treat a waste object such as a used tissue as if it were a sports ball. I giggled joyously, and my mother reciprocated the emotion, giggling to herself. It was a grand sight to see her smiling. These days, in the cold autumn in my hometown of somewhere in the northeastern United States, the clouds grey the skies for weeks at a time, the sun taking a vacation from its work upon the world and leaving many of us to fall into a spiral of grey-triggered depression and melancholy. This affected my mother annually, who had enough on her plate. She had a very busy day job as a waitress in a local cafe, and as a drive-thru manager in a local McDonald’s™ franchise, and as a delivery driver for Amazon™, and as a barista in a local coffee shop, and as a baker in a local bakery, and as a preschool teacher in the local preschool. Her mood had, I admit, rubbed off on me as well, but now that the long weekend was sinking in I was made happy, despite the fright and grief of the morning. 

This would soon change to the worst once again as the day would progress. Despite not having to attend school that day, I still had a mountainous pile of homework to do, arranged in a stack of paper. Dozens of sheets of coloured construction paper waiting for me to stain them with foul-smelling markers, listing my favourite foods, people, and testing my knowledge of some basic verbs of the English language, which I am quickly becoming highly proficient in. This stack of papers assigned to me was based at the floor, and was constructed upwards so far that it towered over my head. I was not intimidated. Gracefully I reached up, my feet erecting themselves onto their tippy-toes, and took with great precision a single sheet of orange paper from the very top. As I turned the paper over, to my horror, there were no fun educational instructions on its face, but a charcoal drawing of some horrid obscure creature resembling a dog with eyes lined down its neck. Disgusted and frustrated I crumpled the paper in my fists, deducing that my homework must have been sabotaged by a fellow classmate or perhaps my mother trying to play one of her classic “Halloween tricks”. 

As I stole another sheet of thick, sharp paper, green this time, from the peak of the sensitive mountain, an avalanche was compelled by gravity and the slight force of my pull to collapse onto me. I toppled to the ground in shock. As the papers flew about me and floated to the floor, I saw that there was that very same shadowy canine monster pressed upon each and every paper, my homework was no longer. I was severely perturbed. I gathered up the papers and threw them into the dark, rank pit of the trash bin. Good riddance to these abominable things. I set out to interrogate my mother about these papers, but she granted me no answers, insisting that I had vandalised my own homework. I took her to the trash bin to demonstrate that the homework had been replaced by the black scrawls, but I was utterly flabbergasted when I discovered that the papers, all but none, had disappeared. My mother chastised me for distracting her as she was just heading out of the house to work, and I felt a hot wash of shame flow through my body as I considered her words. Was I losing my mind? Had it all been a hallucination, inspired by the tragedy of my poor sweet pet Bad Omen’s death in the night? I shoved the thoughts from my head, and instead reflected on a newfound triumph. There is no homework, so I am free to do whatever I please for the rest of the day! 

I decided I wanted to play some video games on my Apple iPad™. My favourite video games at this time are Minecraft Pocket Edition™, Roblox™, and Skibidi Toilet Attackers (Season 15), a classic from the old internet. I ran gleefully to my room and slammed my door behind me, and threw myself onto the large blue bean bag resting limp in the corner of my room. My iPad™ is left beside it, for my own convenience. I pick it up and turn it on, then I navigate, using my fingers on the smooth touch-screen display, to find the Minecraft™ application. Upon finding the desired application, I pressed my finger to its icon, a signal to the domesticated machine in my hands that there is something that I want, that it can and will provide me. It understands, and obeys like a whipped horse. Minecraft™ opens to its title screen. Nothing was amiss so far, however, you will soon see where things went so tremendously awry. I pressed the “single player” button, and found my existing Minecraft™ world. 

You see, in Minecraft, players explore a blocky, procedurally generated, three-dimensional world with virtually infinite terrain. Players can discover and extract raw materials, craft tools and items, and build structures, earthworks, and machines. Depending on their chosen game mode, players can fight hostile mobs, as well as cooperate with or compete against other players in the same world. Game modes include a survival mode (in which players must acquire resources to build in the world and maintain health) and a creative mode (in which players have unlimited resources and access to flight). The game's large community also offers a wide variety of user-generated content, such as modifications, servers, skins, texture packs, and custom maps, which add new game mechanics and possibilities. 

I was not playing with any of these modifications, but my own personal world, which I have been constructing for two years now. Upon entering my world, I appear in the game-world exactly where I had left off last time, as expected. I had just finished harvesting my crops, a 9x9 plot of wheat with the block in the centre replaced with water to keep the plants growing quickly. The wheat was in my inventory, a space that contains all the items that I pick up during the course of the game, but there was something… Off about it. My eagle-like eyes picked up on the subtle difference in the pixel art sprite of the “wheat” item. I wondered to myself if this was an update, or small patch that had been made to the game while I was gone. I brought the screen closer to my inquisitive eyes and peered at the wheat sprite. There was indeed something different. It was animated, with a swarm of small dark pixels that resembled bugs seeming to crawl all over the bundle of wheat. I was confused, but thought that perhaps this was part of some Halloween update, as the Minecraft™ developers have been known to do in the past, which may add some unexpected and creepy features and minor changes to the game to fit the theme of the Halloween season. 

At this, I was excited. However, when I attempted to craft my wheat into bread, by placing three wheat in a horizontal row on the 3x3 crafting grid on the crafting table, the bread came out looking mouldy and gross much like the other Minecraft™ item known as a poisonous potato. This I also assumed was part of the update, but as I brought the bread into my inventory I saw the name of the item, dread filled my heart. It was not named “bread”. It was named “Narrator, you have been CURSED”. I screamed and threw my iPad™ across the room. How did the game know my name was Narrator? Nowhere did I feed the machine this information, even the parental controls on the device do not reference mine or my mother’s real name anywhere. The traitorous device shattered into 1 million pieces upon colliding with my metal bed frame. I was not distressed by its violent demise. No longer did I ever want to look at the thing. I left the sharp metal and glass shards dispersed on the multi coloured shag carpet. I had no spoons left for the terrifying happenings and goings on of the day. I simply required a short rest. I decided to take a nap in my bed. 

I hastily climbed right into it, and pulled myself under my thick grey blankets. I realised now that I was still wearing my pyjamas from last night. They were a comfort object for me, as I have had them for a long time, since I was but a babe, an infant as it were. When I was a red squirming infant, my mother bestowed upon me these pyjamas, but due to an ordering mixup they were far too large for my infantile size, so I eagerly awaited my entire youth to grow taller, wider, fatter, so that I could one day fit within the yellow frame of the itchy fabric. On my eighth birthday, just last year, I was able to fit the pyjamas on. It was the happiest day of my life. I will someday outgrow it, the wrists will some day get tighter, the hood will pull shorter, but for now, I was in a blissful realm of cosplay completion that I could enjoy for two years more or so. I drifted off to sleep, and began a dream taking place in the Pokémon world, with myself placed in the role of the Pokémon trainer. 

I was in the hometown of the main character of the franchise, Ash Ketchum, in the small settlement of Palette town in the Kanto region (Of the Pokémon world, not real world Japan). My mother had just slimily kissed me on the forehead and sent me on my way to Professor Oak’s house to acquire and battle Pokémon creatures, and begin my long, adventurous Pokémon journey, where I would travel the land and collect gym badges from skilled Pokémon trainers. Upon arriving at Professor Oak’s house and laboratory, just across the street, I saw that the windows were blackened. I peeked inside. What I saw changed the nice, lighthearted dream into a cruel nightmare. Professor Oak had one of these Pokémon creatures, resembling an orange salamander with a flame-tipped tail, named Charmander, on a surgeon’s table, an audience of note-taking laboratory assistants surrounding him on bleachers. The lights in the room were off, save just a few bright white pointed spotlights beaming down on the Professor and the vivisected Pokémon. The Charmander looks towards the door as I peek in, and whispers, exasperated; “Char…” (as Pokémon are known to make vocalisations that sound similar to their names, and it is an open question in the Pokémon universe whether the Pokémon are named after their vocalisations or if it is the other way around. On one hand, it would be quite the strange implication if the Pokémon, especially wild ones, were privy to the names that humans give them, and conformed to speaking that name repetitively, even communicating with each other using that name. On the other hand, the existence of Pokémon such as Mr. Mime, who speaks his own name “Mr. Mime”, is even weirder to some, as well as many Pokémon names being a sort of pun or portmanteau representing the theming of a particular Pokémon). 

Professor Oak looks up at me and pulls his surgical mask down, and the smile on his face was indescribable. It was wide enough to reach the ears, and tall enough to make his nose non-existent. Half of his entire face was taken by the grin. He had no teeth, but disgusting gross revolting nasty yucky icky gross gums, and a short stubby blunt pink gross narsty tongue. His maw was a black hole, whatever entered, even light was lost, annihilated. He brought up the Charmander from the table and, pleading and squirming, it was thrown into his mouth, where it disappeared entirely. He pointed at me and laughed a ghastly (no relation to the Pokémon™) laugh, unlike anything I have heard before. It reminded me immediately of the iconic Kefka laugh from Final Fantasy 6™ and infamous for its use in the Sonic.EXE creepypasta. The indescribable horrible laugh sounded something like “woopwoopwoopwoop”. I snope awake from the nightmare. 

My Pikachu™ pyjamas were drenched with sweat, filled to the brim, making me resemble an inflated version of this Pokémon™. As I let my full-frontal zipper down, the sweat flowed out like a waterfall, soaking my bed with the foul yellow fluid. I ran out of my room, a grave mistake in my compromised clothing situation. My mother had brought my friend Aiden from school to our house. I completely forgot we had a playdate today, and there I was, naked down to my underwear, Pikachu™ pyjamas wrapped around my ankles, soaked in sweat, shocked eyes of a prey animal caught by a predator. My hair instantly turned white from fear. Aiden and my mother stared at me for a moment too long for my heart to bear, and then began pointing and laughed at me, just like Professor Oak in the nightmare. My mind broke, I defecated in my pants and ran back down the hallway. It seemed endless to me now, I felt that I could never escape the ever-increasing volume of the laughter, it became deafening in my ears. I ran back into my room and slammed the door just in time for my eardrums to avoid rupture, pushing up my sick gamer chair against the doorknob so that no one, or no thing, could come in. I ran and threw my soiled underpants into the laundry hamper. 

Majestically avoiding the broken glass from the iPad™, I shot under my bed, lying flat and heaving heavy huffing breaths. The sweat that had soaked into my bed earlier dripped onto me, puddling on the floor. My entire body was wet, like I was spelunking in a flooding cave. That embarrassing mistake, which on any other day would be one that could be laughed off and forgotten, today, I felt was the end of it all. By stepping out into the kitchen I had really sealed my fate. The moment that bleak thought sank into my mind the bedframe collapsed, strained by the weight of the sweat soaked into the mattress. My mattress fell onto me, a large wet sponge crushing me under water weight. I felt that I was again an infant being born, but instead of a warm loving parent to welcome me into the world there is instead a cold, dead mattress and a wet carpeted floor covered in broken glass. I heard banging at my door, two pairs of fists; my mother and Aiden. Adrenaline pumping through my eight-year-old body, I squirmed and squeezed my way out from inside the womb of polyurethane foam and came out screaming, glass shards ripping into my skin, just like the day I was born. The knocking on my door stopped in an instant. For a moment I thought that I should perhaps unblock the door and take a small peek out into the hallway. I did not do that though. Instead, I decided to play with my LEGO™s. 

I pulled the container containing my many thousands of LEGO™s out from the drawer. They were of many shapes and colours, made up of dozens of disassembled sets. I only kept a few complete at a time, which I displayed on my cupboards. The rest were doomed to be separated into disparate pieces until I built up the determination to pick through my vast collection one piece at a time and put them together very slowly. I decided to forgo preset instructions and construct an item out of my own imagination, which I believe to be grand and beautiful. I decided that I was going to construct a frog. As I began putting pieces together, I soon noticed that the entire house had been completely quiet. If my friend Aiden and my mother were home, especially if they had become scary monsters, surely there would be some noise. As soon as I thought this, as if responding to my thoughts, a large banging sound began pounding out from the kitchen. I started, my hackles raised and noxious chemical fluid began leaking from the glands in my evapatoria, coating my thoracic exoskeleton. 

As I took a panicked look around my room, I noticed something horrible. My LEGO™s were scattered all across the carpet along with the broken glass. They were everywhere, a random scattered arrangement with many blending into my carpet. My room had become a minefield. Panic began to sink in. If I for some reason had to move across my room very quickly, I would not be able to get across my floor without stepping on one of these devices of podiatric torture. I breathed out a sigh of relief that nothing so urgent was presently occurring, but was forced to suck the sigh back in when the banging from the kitchen began to move. It did not move down the hallway, or into another room of the house, no, no. The banging moved underneath the house, I heard the strikes of spooky feets against the metal of the air ducts and the bending of HVAC tubes. The air register in my room began to reek a foul odour, overpowering my own. The sound was travelling through the air conditioning system coming full speed straight towards my room. 

I looked at the hazardous carpet, covered in high-quality plastic caltrops. I gulped a tennis ball sized gulp and with my superior and powerful survival instincts I dashed across the carpet. My feet stung as they were pierced a thousand times over by irregularly shaped blocks, I could not prepare myself for each step. My velvety foot pads, free of calluses and hardship, were being put to the test. After 87 gruelling, sprinting steps, I made it to my door just as something burst forth from my air vent. I grabbed my sick gamer chair and, with a single tear shed for another deep loss this day, I threw it behind me. I dared not even look back at the thing as it came out of the vent. I was in the hallway, and slammed my door. Something wet and large locomoted across my floor, and I heard a high, gruesome screech from what I assume was contact with the deadly traps on my floor. I took the chance to run down the hallway, entering my bathroom. I had planned to just escape my house, but I glanced through the bathroom window and decided completely against it. Outside the window was that perfect darkness of terror that I had mentioned before, do you remember? 

If you do not remember how bloodcurdling and malicious this darkness was, please go back to the beginning of this call for help for a quick refresher, then return here. I will provide a bookmark within the post (or .pdf if you are receiving a document form of this) so you can easily find this spot again, and know where to continue reading. As I do not have time to format this plea into a proper narrative style, such as including breaks between paragraphs or indents (EDIT: Yes I do but do not get me wrong I am still in immediate danger as I write this!), some readers may find it difficult to read, as it would appear as a single long block of text. This is something that I would most definitely consider if I had more time, but there is something jiggling my bedroom door-knob at this very moment about to enter my room, and the only choice I have is to very quickly write this for anyone in the creepypasta forums to aid me with this situation, either by calling the police (the parental control settings on my iPad forbid me from making phone calls, even emergency ones, and regardless it lies in a million pieces) or by giving me advice on what to do, on the small chance that this has happened to anyone else on these forums, which it couldn’t have had, because as you’ll see as you reread my first few passages in this post, something like this has never happened before. Like I said a moment ago, I will also be distributing this distress signal as a .pdf file, just in case it can reach someone outside of this forum who can help. Without further ado, please refresh yourself with the nature of this night (horror, grisly, generally bad) and return here when you are done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for refreshing yourself with the context of the darkness outside. Now you can definitely see why I decided not to escape through my bathroom window because of that [adjective] darkness. I must hunker down within the confines of my bathroom, the shield of the bathtub which could deflect even the most tempestuous tornado would surely keep me safe against the hideosity which had recovered from its painful folly and was now chasing down the hallway. I could hear as it slid against the walls, what I could only assume were the falling of wet feet or the sloughing of moist flesh slapping against the ground as it advanced upon my position. It stopped right outside the bathroom door. I slammed the shower curtain shut, and it heard me, as when the curtain made its shrieking noise the monster began to slam against the average strength wooden bathroom door with the ferocity of a cleaner shrimp on the ectoparasites of a fish. It was only a matter of time before the door began to splinter and shatter. The bathtub was strong. The bathtub was an impregnable fortress. I was safe, and the curtain put the thing out of sight. But my mind kept racing. What was I to do now? Wait here until the sun comes up? I had nothing to keep me occupied, I would certainly die of boredom. I knew I had to do something to get rid of the monster. 

I grabbed the shower head from its handle and turned it towards the bathtub’s bottom. I turned the water on as hot as the boiler in the house could handle, and waited until it scalded my skin at the slightest touch, and the room had filled with steam. Readying the handle like an outlaw’s revolver in a wild western standoff, I put a hand on the shower curtain. The monster outside began clicking curiously and I felt its hot corpus nearing my fingers. As quickly as I could, and averting my eyes, I threw the shower curtains open and pulled up the shower head, spraying the near-boiling water onto the creature. It screamed as the noise burst my eardrums, and I heard no more after that. The room filled with so much steam that I could not see even if I did not avert my gaze, I felt that my lungs were being filled with a smooth sea. As the steam cleared, I looked, and the entity was no more. There was nothing but a heap of white viscera on the bathroom floor with the laundry. I almost yelled with victory and shut off the shower after spraying down the last few pulsating cuts of meat on the stained-red tile floor. I was truly safe now, as long as no other STRANGE BEINGS intercepted with my normal life. 

In the shower I cleaned my foul clothing and my own body (not boiling hot of course). After my shower and drying I cleaned the LE™GOs from my floor and got comfy into bed, turning on my laptop to peruse the internet. I noticed that my window blinds were open, so I reached over to close them. My keen hawk-like eyes caught something outside that glinted ever so slightly in the darkness. It was a tall figure, about 6 feet tall, that is, 1.8288 metres in the metric system, or if you are a photon, 1.933057524E-16 lightyears. It stood out in my front yard, and would be completely invisible in the perfect darkness were it not for the slight lighting of the front porch, whose electric lantern was flickering. The figure had an average build, but one thing stood out from its silhouette. A completely cubic head. In a flash it ran to my window, pressing its perfectly square face against it. A sticky green ooze slapped against the window glass and dripped down it slowly. I saw now what the cube resembled, it was a forward facing sticky piston from my favourite video game, Minecraft™! 

From my months of scouring the Minecraft Creepypasta Fandom Wiki, I recognised this entity immediately. I dare not even speak its name here, if you do your own research you will realise what I saw stalking me through my window. I scrum so hard and my peripheral nervous system fired off as if shot with a bullet. I fell off my bed in pain and terror. When I looked back up, the sticky piston monster was gone. Taking its place was a completely different fear, a blank white face on a tall tuxedo-wearing body. It was the Slenderman, but before I could process this change, its appearance morphed once again, it was now Jeff the Killer, now Freddy Fazbear, Lavender Town, SCP-173, the Creepy Smiler, the Grabber, Shadow the Hedgehog, and finally resting on a warped reflection of my own face. 

Worms and weird fishes crawled and swam around my head, emerging from the monster’s nose, and they began to eat away at my face. Its eyes, identical to my own beautiful brown eyes, rolled back in its head, revealing an EVIL version of my eyes on the other side. It did not have a mouth, instead just a small circular hole that hot air blew out from like a leaking steam pipe, fogging up the glass so quickly it looked like it had been snowing outside. I began to smell blood, and looked down at myself. I had fallen on the broken iPad™ glass, and my Pikachu™ pyjamas and skin were cut and penetrated at various small points once again. I did not even feel the pain past the adrenaline pumping through my veins, so I shook the broken glass off and got back in bed, hiding under my covers. I heard the shapeshifter outside slide against the window, walking away, the fallen leaves crunching under its feet. I heard the front door ripped straight off of its wrought iron hinges. It was thrown across the yard I believe, as I heard a loud heavy thud against the leaves and grass in the distance. The footsteps continued into my home, I heard them echo off the kitchen walls, distant, then nearer, nearer and down the hallway and to my door. 

In utter abject horror I realised the worst mistake I would make this entire night. I did not block the door with anything. I threw the blanket off of me, but it was far, far too late. It is here that I must switch to the present tense, as what happens from this point onwards is currently happening to me right now, as I have repeatedly mentioned throughout this post. The ornate gilded doorknob is beginning to slowly turn, I hear its exasperated, monstrous breath bouncing off of the wood of the door with such force, it’s as if it were exhaling a cloud of moths onto it. Please, if anyone sees this, please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please transfer 6000 robux into my roblox account at Wettest_Hands messages are open n links below shows you how 2 do it easy.  I think it is the only thing that can stop this monster. K thx bye

#my #creative writing

[infinite-tome-of-knowledge]

Cadaverous Rake

The Cadaverous Rake is another one of the standout enemies from the Book of the Dead. They offer a large amount of roleplaying potential and have a combat kit suited for most scenarios, making them a lot of fun to GM. At their core, the Rake is essentially an undead variant of a Swashbuckler. They die in a duel, but rise from the grave to continue their legend. The lore sidebar mentions that they have been known to declare people as rivals, demanding a rematch and harming those who could kill the rival before the Rake can. I would highly recommend spending some time to develop this rival relationship. Let the PCs kill the still-living Rake in a duel, and have it come back several sessions later angrily demanding a rematch against its killer. If the Rake can manage to escape death during that match, it could become the sort of recurring antagonist discussed in the sidebar.

The Rake has plenty of options for dueling foes. The most important ability is Parry Dance, a single action where the Rake Strikes, then Steps. Using Parry Dance also increases the Rake’s AC by 2. I see absolutely no reason for the Rake to not be using this constantly. Any AC bonus is great, and since the Strike is followed by a Step the Rake can deal damage before moving away. This creates a gap where melee PCs must waste an action moving closer to the Rake. If ranged targets are proving to be a nuisance, the Rake can spend an action to use Shadow Rapier, increasing the reach of their Strikes to 30 ft and swapping all the damage to void/negative for that turn. They can then Strike back line characters, and since Shadow Rapier only buffs the Strikes it can be combined with Parry Dance.

The Rake’s other two abilities are dependent on critical successes or failures. As a result, they’ll be much more swingy and are harder to plan around. The Upper Hand is a one action ability, requiring the previous action to have been a critical success Strike. When used, the Rake Disarms them as if it had critically succeeded. This ability is interesting, and I’d suggest getting a sense of how the table is feeling before using it. If the Rake is being annihilated, then it can be a fun way to turn the tables. If the players are struggling, it compounds an already bad situation. Repartee Riposte is similar. As a reaction when a creature within the Rake’s reach critically fails a melee Strike, the Rake can attempt a Strike against it. On a success, the creature becomes frightened 1, or frightened 2 on a crit. Once again, this ability is fun but has the potential to make a player who did poorly do even worse on future rounds. Something to note is that Shadow Rapier only lasts until the end of the Rake’s turn, which prevents the Rake from benefiting from the reach bonus to extend the range of Repartee Riposte.

The Rake has a variety of skills, giving ample opportunities for a useful third action. They can use Deception to Feint, which is very in character for a swashbuckling duelist. They can also use Intimidation to Demoralize in order to increase chances of using either The Upper Hand or Repartee Riposte. They have a high bonus to Disarm attempts, but since it has the Attack trait it limits the effectiveness of Parry Dance. The Rake also has a fairly high Intelligence, and so if they start running low on HP they’ll make use of any means possible to exit the battle. They’ve already died in one duel: there’s no rush to die again.

In my opinion, the Rake is best run as a solo Moderate encounter. This way, a duel can occur, but they’re unlikely to constantly benefit from either of their critical-based abilities to the point where play becomes frustrating. One last thing to consider is how the Rake makes their entry. There’s a lot of room to play with black comedy when it comes to this creature. One way to make it far more memorable is to parody classic swashbucklers with a twist. For instance, when it first begins a duel it might swing a rope into a wall (the Rake, of course, meant to do that) or jump down heroically from a building (resulting in several cracked bones that don’t bother the Rake). Playing with these tropes also opens up new encounter ideas, such as giving the Rake a smaller sword-wielding undead as a sidekick.

#pathfinder #pathfinder 2e #long post #monster #rpg #DM #dungeon master #game master #monster tactics #ttrpg

[tinkerbelldetective]

For the fic asks: 3 :)

Oh this is hard!!

A lot of my fanfics have never been finished, most hardly begun, if not just in my head or in small oneshots laying around in random notebooks.

I'm really looking forward to writing and planning more of my House of Anubis fanfiction called A Paragon's Guide to Ghosts and Mystery. It focuses on Nina Martin and her powers as the Paragon and a new mystery and will later expand.

I once wrote an OC story that I never posted anywhere. I'm kind of proud of how well I seemed to handle one of the characters and his character/personality.

My Assassin's Creed fanfic The Informant is probably one of my longest published works ( 12 chapters so far), it's barely begun, but it shows a lot of my growth as a writer in comparison to some of my other works.

I'm also kind of proud of my James Norrington x oc work.

One of my fanfics from when I was very young gained some traction, I was young when I wrote it, but I'm proud it got so many positive reviews, haha!

As for imagines and ficlets, I really like some of the ones I wrote for Ben Stone (Blue Sweater and On the Steps). For a Brief Moment (Michael Cutter x Reader). An excerpt from a Dean Winchester x oc fic. A Lucifer x reader imagine that is strong worded. Several of my Malik Al-Sayf x readers. The Senses series of drabbles has been a great exercise and excuse to write a lot of imagery and very little dialogue.

I once wrote a parody (now probably more classifiable as crackfic) for Kingdom Hearts on a forum website. I was young. It made no sense, but it was funny and made a lot of people laugh.

Honorable mentions for my HP and Yugioh and Gotham fanfics from my younger days.

Thank you!!

#the mutuals tm #this got away from me #thank you

[cherienymphe]

As someone who read the first book in one sitting and basically learned English to read the second book, I will forever love Twilight even though I'm not a big fan of the movies. What did you love most about the movie(s) and what was the thing that you hated with passion or were most disappointed about? (For me the former is Jasper and Alice and the latter is the lame CGI werewolves).

I agree with Jalice. The movies did a good job of showcasing their dynamic. In truth, that's about the only good thing the movies did in comparison to the books 😭 I hate that so much of Edward's personality was lost in the movies. Their biggest sin if you ask me. As much as I love the first two, the whole series falls flat and feels cheaply done. Idk but when I read twilight, it just felt way more dramatic and serious. I was reading a love story and as much as I love the movies, I never really feel like I'm watching a love story. Casting was off. Beauty department was off. Wardrobe department hit. Of course the soundtracks are unbeatable. Will go down in history yup yup. Still mad Edward wasn't more of a redhead. Alice's hair should've been way shorter and spikier but they were cowards. Carlisle and esme should've been younger. Nikki was not a great Rosalie. Don't get me started on Taylor and his trickery of us all. The last 3 movies (another pet peeve is them copying HP because BD did NAWT need no damn 2 movies) felt more parody-esque and less serious. Just redo the whole thing with a tv series!

#asks

[pridepages]

TEASER: Simon Snow Trilogy

Books: Carry On, Wayward Son, and Any Way the Wind Blows

Author: Rainbow Rowell

Genre: Magical Realism (Contemporary Fantasy), Parody

CW/TW: child emotional abuse, homophobia, child neglect, allusions to HP/JKR

SPOILER FREE TEASER:

Simon Snow has a destiny: he is the Chosen One who must defeat the greatest threat to magic: The Insidious Humdrum. He trains for his great battle at the Watford School of Magicks where he learns to cast spells as a magician alongside his best friend, super genius Penelope Bunce, his Leading Lady, beautiful Agatha Wellbelove, and endures the antagonism of his nemesis and school rival, Tyrannus Basilton “Baz” Grimm-Pitch.

Baz Pitch has a secret: he plays the villain for the world, but he’s hiding who he really is. He’s a vampire who also happens to be desperately in love with his roommate--Simon Snow! Baz knows it can never work out. They’re sworn enemies and Simon hates him...right?

But when threads of different mysteries weave together, Simon and Baz find themselves for the first time on the same team. And when they work together, they find out that maybe there’s more to life than playing the roles that they’ve been cast in.

Sound familiar? It should. Simon Snow began as a thinly disguised parody of Harry Potter and the “Drarry” shippers of yore that author Rainbow Rowell put in a completely different novel (for the origins of Simon Snow & Co., see Fangirl). The clear family resemblance between the worlds and characters might be enough to put some readers off. But Simon and his friends took on a life of their own and have become worthy characters in their own right.

What is an Insidious Humdrum? What are the different ways people can discover that they aren’t straight? How do you cope when you thought you had your life plan all figured out...and then realize there’s no such thing as a sure thing?

Carry On offers answers to all these questions and more with wit and heart in spades. And if you don’t get enough of Simon and Baz, there’s two sequels, Wayward Son and Any Way the Wind Blows, in which the “getting together” part of their story expands into the “growing together.”

Who should read this book: people who like humorous fantasy like The Princess Bride, people who like magical realism like The Magicians, people who like a good enemies-to-lovers romance, and people who like to see traditional tropes busted up.

#snowbaz #carry on #simon snow trilogy #lgbtq reads #book rec

[jcmarchi]

Tekken 8 Review - Aggressively Absurd - Game Informer

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/tekken-8-review-aggressively-absurd-game-informer/

Tekken 8 Review - Aggressively Absurd - Game Informer

The bar for the fighting game genre has been uppercut to astronomical heights in recent years. Exceptional one-on-one combat remains the primary bullet point, but other series have complimented their packages with robust suites of destinations, from cinematic story campaigns to comprehensive training dojos. Although Tekken 8’s fighting remains a treat thanks to some neat tweaks to its strong formula, the rest of the package, while respectable, falls short of some of its contemporaries.

The Heat system is the big new addition, adding a new gauge that, when activated, adds chip damage to attacks, buffs your blocks, and even adds follow-up moves to extend certain combos. My favorite use is spending the full meter to unleash a unique and powerful combo attack, and weaving this into an assault can be devastating. Heat offers a fun and effective new trick that rewards aggression while also providing a solid counter to an opponent’s relentless assault. Combined with the returning Rage system, it’s another way to help turn the tide of a one-sided battle without feeling like a protective crutch – pure skill still wins the day. 

Rage Arts have been smartly simplified to a universal button for easier execution and more spectacular finishes. Another good tweak is that health bars are divided into sections displaying recoverable and non-recoverable HP, the former of which is replenished by attacking (even if blocked). I like seeing when I should turn up the heat to regain a few hit points. I also like being encouraged to end an opponent before they can heal themselves, once again promoting aggression in a way that speaks to my playstyle.

[embedded content]

Tweaks aside, as far as the basic meat and potatoes go, if you want some good old-fashioned Tekken, this eighth entry delivers. The 32-character roster feels as great as it ever has, and new faces, such as the enigmatic Reina or the coffee-obsessed Azucena, are fun additions I’m enjoying mastering. Tekken 8 also scores a win in the looker category. Powered by Unreal Engine 5, our favorite combatants have never looked or been animated better. Stages pop and are packed with details, whether you’re battling under the neon lights of an urban city square or amid Peruvian ruins with roaming alpacas. As nice as they appear, they fall apart even better when you’re knocking opponents through walls or slamming them through the floor. 

Tekken 8’s cinematic story mode, which centers on the ultimate clash between Jin and Kazuya, is a step above Tekken 7’s. Admittedly, that’s a low bar to cross; not having a monotone journalist narrate the tale already raises it several notches. Absurdity is the name of the game, thanks to the narrative’s onslaught of laugh-worthy action scenes, culminating in a final bout that takes the series as high as it’s ever been on the “outrageous” meter. While more fun than Tekken 7’s story, Tekken 8’s tale is still an uneven experience. A choose-your-fighter tournament arc in the middle is a cool idea, but your selection is meaningless. A gigantic battle reminiscent of Avengers: Infinity War unfolds as a generic, ill-designed brawler where players pummel waves of foes in a manner reminiscent of Tekken 3’s Tekken Force mode, and feels just as dated. The final confrontation, while epic, drags on for so many rounds that it becomes a slog. It almost feels like a parody of climactic boss fights while playing it totally straight. 

While the main story mode is a solid starting point for Tekken 8, Arcade Quest offers another narrative-driven quest better suited for teaching players the ropes. As a customizable Xbox 360-esque avatar, you and your Tekken-obsessed friends travel to various arcades to climb the ranks of the competitive scene while learning the power of friendship and having fun. It does a decent job of providing thorough tutorials on new mechanics like the Heat system and teaching helpful combos and general fight psychology, making it ideal for both newcomers and returning veterans. The downside is suffering through a supremely bland tale that feels more like a saccharine lesson in fighting game etiquette (i.e., let people play how they want and don’t be a jerk) for kids. 

Offline offerings are otherwise underwhelming. Character Episodes remain succinct ladder climbs to watch Tekken’s trademark humorous fighter endings. Tekken Ball returns as a cute addition, but nothing worth revisiting after a round or two. I enjoyed testing myself in Super Ghost Battle, which pits you against a learning A.I. mirroring your behavior and tendencies. While the practice mode features robust breakdowns of stats such as frame data, a more guided experience would have been welcomed. You’re still largely left to wade through menus for desired lessons (which boil down to inputting commands without much context as to why it’s effective and when to use them) and sift through tons of combo lists. The Gallery is disappointingly slim compared to 7’s, leaving the bulk of fight money spent on unlocking new pieces for the popular character creator. 

Hardcore players will likely spend their time trading blows in the largely smooth online mode. Bandai Namco has jazzed up online play with an explorable hub to show off your Arcade Quest avatar while challenging players to bouts. This presentation is mostly for show; you still access the same menu options available elsewhere. But it adds a little flair to the tried-and-true fun of gaining ranks and spectating fights. 

As a complete package, Tekken 8 doesn’t reach the heights of recent rivals like Street Fighter 6 and Mortal Kombat 1. But when the match begins, and you’re exploiting openings to unleash flashy combo strings and air juggles, it remains a thrilling, if very familiar, one-on-one experience. The latest King of Iron Fist tournament still has work to do to feel wholly satisfying or ground-breaking, but it remains a fun arena to test your mettle against friends and rivals.

#2024 #air #arc #Arts #avatar #Behavior #coffee #comprehensive #Cute #data #details #Developer #engine #epic #Features #Fight #Full #game #Health #Heat #how #hp #infinity #iron #it #learning #lists #looker #Mastering #meat

[seeminglyseph]

I am officially watching Misfits and Magic again and I do like kinda wish there was someone there to be like "this is weird even by British standards." like I know part of the point of the Magical Misfits is they were chosen for the pilot program because they were specifically The Worst Choices for the Pilot Program, but still they keep assuming the weird ass Magic Society is also British Society and sometimes just being Canadian, not even British just Not American, I'm like 'no, that's... wait. I don't know if that's a thing they believe or not.'

especially after that episode of Um, Actually where Brennan didn't know the capital city of Canada, which is, Geographically, *so fucking close* to New York by the way, and he said fucking *Calgary* which isn't even a capital city of a province, let alone in Ontario. which I know is apples to oranges but sometimes very smart people are very dumb about certain things. and it makes me wonder like. "How much do they know about daily life outside America???" which is like. extremely like. judgemental and patronizing but also sometimes I can't help but have like. this creeping dread that it's not actually a joke???? or something. idk. it's a weird thought that's not fully formed and like I've never been overseas so they're probably more travelled than I am but at the same time like. I'm pretty sure there are Black people in Britain. But also it's a commentary on Harry Potter which like sucked at representation and totally didn't or conveniently recast them when they became romantic interests. Also the whole troubling stereotype of the Weasleys still being like... *that*. and their expies are still *that*. idk. I'm reading too much into it, and the fact of the matter is like HP has more problems probably than like. fully anticipated. it's like an onion of bad ideas, you just pull back a layer and find new bad idea that you hadn't first conceived of and like. that sucks a lot because some aspect of it managed to capture so much whimsy and inspire so much creativity. But it really was mostly the fandom that made it good, it's returning to the books themselves where all the trash is, and since the fandom is gone for the most part except for the crazies it's like. 'oh. ugh....' but then like Misfits and Magic is like 'oh right this was the stuff that was actually *fun* about the series. it was the fandom and the fan interaction.'

like it's the 'oh right I remember, I used to love not having anything to do with the books, because I kinda started hating them after 4, I just wanted to roleplay with my friends' and usually they were better at lore and ideas, and that's what Misfits and Magic locks into because like, Aabria is way fucking better at lore and logic than JKR, because she's objectively better at all this shit and a better person obviously. like. fundamentally. so approaching stories with Aabria is more interesting and engaging. but sometimes it's hard to tell if it's like. a parody or if like. it's weird. because sometimes it's weird, and I'm weird. And like there's obviously Vietnamese people in Great Britain??? so that's a Magic thing. and sometimes it feels like the Misfits assume things are about Britain instead of Magic. and it gets a little. Muddy.

I'm a little buzzed. it's 1am. I don't have reasonable thoughts. My holiday hangover is hitting me very hard.

#seph watches misfits and magic #stoned ramblings #I'm also trying to draw again but it's weird and I'm distracted #don't take anything I say seriously because I have two brain cells and they're both very tired

[thecreaturecodex]

Adachros

Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here

[The second of two "ennosites" I'm covering from Bestiary 3. I imagine that these would be a good way to get that Planescape feel into a game, if only for a few encounters. These definitely fit into the domain of "philosophers with clubs".]

Adachros CR 13 N Outsider (extraplanar) This glimmering giant appears to be made of silvery facets, arranged into a humanoid shape.

The adachroses are beings of pure thought, each one embodying a philosophy and promoting it with megalomaniacal zeal. Some of them are created when a demiplane is partially formed and then collapses, whereas others are created when artificial demiplanes (such as those made by the create demiplane spell) are abandoned, and still others are born when multiple philosophers die simultaneously in defending their beliefs. Most of the time, an adachros’ philosophy is exaggerated to the point of self-parody, and the adachros refuses to acknowledge any perspective other than its own.

Some adachroses are tyrants, ruling over a tiny fiefdom with an iron fist and lashing out at anyone who dares to disobey their strictures. Others are somewhat more reasonable, acting as teachers of their philosophy, albeit ones who refuse to engage with any opposing viewpoints. They can be potentially manipulated by a canny outsider, one who can convince them that their outlook would be best served by doing whatever the manipulator wants. But if an adachros realizes it’s been duped, it will turn its entire fury on that creature and their allies and cause.

Most adachroses prefer to befuddle enemies with complex hallucinations before fighting them—both in order to confuse and destabilize strategies, but also because the monster can strike with deadly precision at creatures engaging with its illusions. It fights simply but effectively, crushing foes with its mighty fists and using occult magic to blast away at enemies that keep their distance. Its sense of self-purpose is so great that it can reject enchantments or illusions that clash with its beliefs. Depending on the values system it embodies, an adachros may fight to the death, or may prefer to surrender or flee if a combat goes poorly.  

Adachros               CR 13 XP 25,600 N Large outsider (extraplanar) Init +6; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +25, thoughtsense 120 ft. Defense AC 28, touch 12, flat-footed 25 (-1 size, +2 Dex, +1 dodge, +16 natural) hp 178 (17d10+85) Fort +15, Ref +12, Will +12 (+16 vs. mind-influencing effects) DR 10/magic and silver; SR 24 Defensive Abilities self-absorbed, splinter sycophant Offense Speed 40 ft., fly 40 ft. (good) Melee 2 slams +22 (2d8+6) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Psychic Magic CL 13th, concentration +21 40 PE—complex hallucination (4 PE, DC 22), contagious zeal (3 PE), detect magic (1 PE), ego whip III (5 PE, DC 23), hallucinatory terrain (4 PE, DC 22), mind thrust IV (4 PE, DC 22), modify memory (5 PE, DC 23), reverse gravity (7 PE), scripted hallucination (5 PE, DC 23), unshakable zeal (6 PE) Special Attacks fatal fantasia Statistics Str 23, Dex 15, Con 21, Int 20, Wis20, Cha 26 Base Atk +17; CMB +23; CMD 36 Feats Combat Reflexes,Dodge, Greater Vital Strike, Improved Initiative, Improved Vital Strike, Intuitive Spell, Iron Will, Power Attack, Vital Strike Skills Appraise +22,Bluff +28, Diplomacy +28,Fly +21, Intimidate +28, Knowledge (arcana, planes) +25, Perception +25, Sense Motive +25, Spellcraft +25, Stealth +15 Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Draconic, Infernal, telepathy 100 ft. Ecology Environment any land or underground (Astral Plane) Organization solitary or college (2-6) Treasure standard Special Abilities Fatal Fantasia (Ex) Against a target that is currently effected by an adachros’ illusion or enchantment abilities, the adarchos’ natural weapons threaten a critical hit on a roll of 19-20 and deal x3 damage on a critical hit. Self-Absorbed (Ex) An adachros gains a +4 racial bonus on all saving throws against mind-influencing effects. On any round it is suffering from a mind-influencing effect, it may attempt to counteract that effect, using its caster level as an opposed caster level check against the level of the effect. If it succeeds, the effect is removed. An adachros can use this ability even if it cannot act on this turn, but can only remove a single unwanted effect per round. Splinter Sycophant (Su) When an adachros takes damage from a critical hit, an ioton is split off from its body and appears in an adjacent square. This ioton has absorbed one language that the adachros speaks, and unless given orders to do otherwise, begins to sing the praises of the adachros that created it as a standard action each turn. An adachros gains 4d6 temporary hit points when the ioton begins to flatter it, and gains a +1 morale bonus on attack rolls, damage rolls, skill and ability checks so long as the praise persists. The effects of multiple such sycophants stack. An ioton creates in such a fashion vanishes into vapor 1 minute after it is created or when it is reduced to 0 hit points.

#adachros #pathfinder 1e #pathfinder 2e #planescape #astral plane

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Updated (We're Back!) - Re-Watchers With A Thousand Eyes - a Starkid, Shipwrecked and Tin Can Bros Weekly Watch-along

We took a short break for Nightmare Time Season 2, but we're back, the schedule is updated, and I am psyched to watchalong with you all again!!!

---

So I thought it would be fun to do what I call a weekly “offline watchalong” of Starkid, Shipwrecked and Tin Can Bros content. An “offline watchalong” is where a show/series is picked as the “show of the week” and everyone who wants to join in watches it at any point in the week they wish to. Then throughout the week as people watch the show, we can make posts, mini-fics (or longer fics if you’re a writing whiz!) and fanart (again for you talented folks) about that week’s show.

Also thanks to the lovely @awigglycultist, @ur-url-is-weird and @faery-market for helping with this! Go follow them!

The shows have been split into themes, some with fun names, and some with not-so fun names because I ran out of creativity. The watch-along will start on 26th of July with The Trail to Oregon as I have been informed that that is the date the show takes place. The rest of the schedule is below the cut.

So how to take part?

Watch the week’s show! You don’t have to watch every single week’s show, if you feel like skipping a week because a show’s not for you, awesome! Curate your own enjoyment and join in again when we reach a show you’re excited for!

Make a post, fic, art etc - the idea is we are all in this watch-along together so seeing everyone’s thoughts on the content is what’s exciting. Not creative? Fabulous, neither am I - my contribution is likely to be “omg I love this bit in xxx when xxx...” - feel free to do the same.

Tag it! As well as tagging with the show/creators, include the tag #ReWatchers1000 so that if anyone doesn’t want to see the content, they can filter it.

Don’t have anything to post? No problem - reblog away! Press that like button! Learn “Listen to Your Heart Joey” in the privacy of your own bedroom just for yourself! Perfect your Oscar Wilde impression in your mirror!

Not seen one of the shows before? Amazing! This could be an opportunity to find something new you hadn’t realised you were missing!

Don’t have time to watch this week? I get you! We’re all busy, but feel free to engage with the content anyway - and hey, you can always watch the show when you’re free in a different week!

Most importantly - be kind. The shows, series, shorts and live readings we’ll be watching are lovingly made by some amazing people who have put in a great amount of time, energy and money into making us amazing content for free! Equally, these fan communities have some incredible fan-work which also takes a lot of love and effort. Be kind about the content you watch and the content that may appear.

Each week one of us will post what the next show will be. If any shows get released in this time period (here’s hoping) we may put a pause on this to give the new content the time and energy it deserves.

Schedule

This Counts as Historical Fiction Right?

Beginning with a story about a group about to start a long journey - seems apt!

26th July - The Trail to Oregon

2nd August - Firebringer

9th August - Poe Party

Pop Culture Parody

16th August - Holy Musical Batman

23rd August - Twisted

30th August - Movies, Musicals and Me

6th September - Solve It Squad

Harry Freakin’ Potter

Just in time for back to school - we're going back to Hogwarts

13th September - A Very Potter Musical

20th September - A Very Potter Sequel

Break for Nightmare Time Season 2

13th December - A Very Potter Senior Year

Need more HP? There's also A Very Potter Christmas audio show!

SHORTS

Watch at your own pace until we return on 3rd January!

American Whoopee

Kissing in the Rain

A Cryptmas Carol

A Tell Tale Vlog

Little VVomen

Ex-Vloggers

Spilled Milk

Weird Towns

The nights are dark and we're still feeling a bit spooky after those three ghosts visited us on Christmas eve - let's visit some weird towns!

3rd January - The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

10th January - Black Friday

17th January - Nightmare Time 1, Episode 1

24th January - Nightmare Time 1, Episode 2

31st January - Nightmare Time 1, Episode 3

7th February - Wayward Guide

Ordinary Life - But Make it Weird

Let's kick off Valentines Day with... well...

14th February - Me and My Dick

21st February - Flop Stoppers

28th February - Choose Our Destiny

7th March - Little White Lie

14th March - Idle Worship

SPACE!

21st March - Starship

28th March - Ani

Not ready to leave Space? Why not listen to the Starship: Requiem?

Live Readings

Phew! Who's tired after all those Space Adventures? Let's sit back and relax with some classic movies! Wait... these seem different!

4th April - Beetlejuice

11th April - Addams Family

18th April - Scream

25th April - Hocus Pocus

Secrets and Intrigue

2nd May - Gilded Lily

9th May - Broadway Whodunit

16th May - Spies are Forever

#starkid #team starkid #shipwrecked comedy #tin can bros #ReWatchers1000

[intothewickedwood]

Starkid Show Ranking

So, for the last few months I’ve watched one Starkid musical a weekend. Best few months ever! Some I hadn’t seen in years and some I regularly see at least 3 times a year. A few I liked even more than I remembered. So here is my new ranking for which I like best! These are just my personal faves. Not saying which ones are best just putting in order which shows I like best. I think they’re all great!

13) Ani: A Parody

A genuinely good show. I love characters like Obi in it but I just don’t know jack about Star Wars.

11) Black Friday

I love a lot of the music. It has some really great moments.

10) Holy Musical B@man!

I did not give this show a chance all those years ago when I first watched. Maybe because I wasn’t big on batman. I am a huge Superman and DC fan in general though and the last rewatches I’ve had I’ve really enjoyed it! Love Superman and Batman’s dynamic. Really fun show with great music.

9) Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier

Love the Wicked vibes. Never really been an Aladdin fan but I really like this show. Jafar and his wife’s story breaks my heart every time.

8) The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

I love the fact it’s a horror comedy. The music is so good. It makes me laugh and cry. Great introduction to the Hatchetfield series.

7) Firebringer

This show has a very special place in my heart. It was my mum’s first introduction to Starkid and she’s been the one person I’ve got who’s been watching Starkid with me ever since. We make so many references and it’s all thanks to this show! We watched it about 20 times the year it came out. The music is phenomenal, the family aspect of the show makes it feel like home.

6) Trail To Oregon!

So my Nanna forced us to watch Little House and the Prairie with her for many years and this show has strong lhotp vibes. I feel such a warm feeling when watching this chaotic family and the musical is awesome! I cannot express how much I love the mother especially.

5) Starship

This show is freaking hilarious. The characters are great and the story is beautiful. It was one I didn’t give a chance at first, given the space theme but I wish I’d done so earlier on because it’s really awesome.

4) Me and My Dick

I loooove this show. It’s hilarious and heartfelt. It gives me such nostalgia. I love all the characters with all my heart. I love saying lines from this show and confusing people.

3) A Very Potter Senior Year

Another heartfelt musical. I just cry at the end. I just love it so much.

2) A Very Potter Musical

This was my first introduction ever to Harry Potter! And this trilogy was all I knew of Harry Potter for many years after. I now love hp and the starkid version but the starkid version of characters and Hogwarts will always be the real characters and Hogwarts to me. I was so confused when I first watched the movies and then the book. Some stuff I thought starkid had straight up made up. It was one of my first Starkid shows and will always have a special place in my heart. I love the characters so much it makes me emotional. They mean so much to me and a lot of them are my all time favourite characters in anything ever. I just want them to be happy! It’s hilarious and the songs are amazing.

1) A Very Potter Sequel

Love this show so so much. I cry with laughter every time as I do with all the trilogy but especially this one. It’s one of my favourite things in the world and is in the top 4 musicals ever for this musical theatre nerd right here. The music is beyond totally awesome. I can’t express how much I love this show and this musical trilogy.

#starkid #team starkid #firebringer #trail to oregon #twisted #tgwdlm #holy musical b@man #mamd #me and my dick #starkid ranking #ranking #darren criss #lauren lopez #joey richter #jaime lyn beatty #joe walker #meredith stepien #dyaln saunders #brian holden

[phoebe-delia]

harry potter characters ass musical songs (i'm not big with musicals, and so only have ideas about regular music and am interested in your thoughts)?

My dear nonnie, thank you ever so much for this question. I love getting these types of asks.

This was a challenge in the best way. I loved thinking of the HP characters and matching them to a song that captured their development or personality. I hope you enjoy this list, and that it might spark further interest in musicals for you. And if you'd like any recommendations of shows, just shoot me an ask or a DM!

Also--if you want to watch something super funny, look up "A Very Potter Musical" by Starkid. They've done 3 parody musicals based on Harry Potter and they're fantastic. Lauren Lopez, who plays Draco, is fantastic. It also has Darren Criss as Harry; you might know him from "Glee" or the Gianni Versace show.

Without further ado, here are HP characters as musical theater songs.

Harry Potter: "Totally Fucked" from Spring Awakening--This boy has been through it. He's cynical but still pushing through life. This song would really fit from 4th year on, when he starts to realize the world just seems stacked against him, out to kill him.

Hermione Granger: "Everything Else" from Next to Normal--She puts a lot of pressure on herself, and all she wants to do is put her head down and succeed. She's a little bitter, but still hopeful, and she focuses on her studies and interests to keep her going. She's constantly stressed but she knows she had to keep pushing in order to achieve her goals. She studies and works as a coping mechanism, hoping that the world will be okay if she just works a little harder.

Ron Weasley: "Mister Cellophane" from Chicago--Oh, poor Ron. He feels so underestimated and overlooked. He's the youngest boy in the family, and he doesn't have the traits that make his brothers and Ginny stand out. He seems average in every way, especially in comparison to the fucking Boy Who Lived and the Smartest Witch of Her Age

Draco Malfoy: I have two songs and they're both from Heathers.

1. "Candy Store"-- Tell me this isn't Draco offering his hand to Harry. Just. Someone pleasseeeee draw Draco and Pansy and Blaise as the Heathers I need it stat please and thank you.

2. "Lifeboat"--This is Draco in 6th year, desperate and paranoid and terrified. This is him realizing what he's gotten into by being a Death Eater and being scared for his life. He's questioning everything he's been taught and wishing for it to be over.

Ginny Weasley: "Right Hand Man" from Something Rotten--This is Ginny proving that she's just as strong and helpful as any man. She's constantly had to prove her strength against her rowdy brothers, but when her husband (or wife if she's with Luna or Pansy bc that girl is gayyyyy if not bi) needs help, she'd be like "let me help you damn it!"

Luna Lovegood "Sonya Alone" from Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812--This is my dear, sweet Luna. She's sort of been quietly protecting and helping the Order during the war, never imposing but always there when needed. She's strong in the way most of the other characters aren't, in that she has a quiet fortitude that makes her in some ways more powerful. She has that in common with the character of Sonya, who does the right thing to help Natasha in this song. Luna is loyal, dedicated, and selfless, and this song reflects that.

Pansy Parkinson "Charming" from Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812--Just, this is Pansy. Helene is Pansy Parkinson, it's a fact. Manipulative, seductive, confident, and smart. It's just perfect for her character.

Thanks sm again for the question nonnie! This was so fun.

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

#harry potter #musical theater #starkid #draco malfoy #ron weasley #hermione granger #showtunes #musicals #great comet #something rotten #next to normal #luna lovegood #ginny weasley #pansy parkinson #ama #ask me #ask box #ask me stuff #ask me anything