#it is moments like these where i breakdown and have to start the healing process all over again

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |

Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language

Author's note: I plan to write 1-2 more parts and finish it! I hope you’ll like this part🫶🏻

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Tsmukan - brother

Sa’nu - mommy

Metiyawn - love (plural)

“It’s fine, you’ll be fine.”

You don’t know how it happened, but you are cuddling up to Ao’nung's warm chest. His arms hugging you and body softly swaying to calm you down. He whispers random words to make you feel better, but you don’t really listen to them, swallowed by thoughts.

“Don’t worry. I’m here, you’ll be fine. They don’t hate you.”

“He’s disappointed. I betrayed him.” You kept crying and shaking.

“Shhh, he’s not. It’s fine.” His hug was so warm and comfortable, you almost fell asleep after you finally calmed down. You had no tears and emotions left after this. You felt even more drained than before fight with Ao’nung.

Fighting with family is against your nature.

“I’m sorry, Ao’nung. I wasted your time…” you said as you tried to stand up and clean yourself up.

“No you didn’t. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I could be here to support you.” He suggested his hand for you to stand up properly and couldn’t help but rub your hand with his thumb a little. You blushed at this action and lowered your gaze. It felt intimate. The whole situation was intimate.

“Thank you, Ao’nung. I’m really thankful for this.”

“You shouldn’t be. I owe you and I’m not sure if one apology can make up everything I said and did to you. I was a real skxawng and asshole.” You chuckled a little at his last words, kept sniffling a little after tears.

“Yeah, you were worse that skxawng. But I accept your apologies. I’m glad you understood that your actions weren’t good. Just don’t make same mistakes and let’s live in peace.” You gave him a soft smile, looking right into his eyes. Ao’nung didn’t expect you to forgive him so easily. “Friends?” You opened your arms for him to hug. Ao’nung was numb, trying to process what did you just said and expect him to do.

Friends… at least friends.

“Friends.” He smiled a little and came closer to wrap his arms around you as gentle as you were the more fragile thing in the world. “Thank you, Y/N.”

***

“Neteyam, what happened? Where’s your sister?” Neytiri was worried about the the state of her son and the fact that he didn’t bring you with him. He was really angry and didn’t want to tell anything.

“Ask your daughter. She knows everything better than us.”

“Why do you say that? Tell me what happened? Did you argue?”

You entered your family pod at exact same moment Neteyam was about to tell about your argument.

“She will tell you.” He looked at you offensively and turned back. You brows were drawn together in sadness as you looked at him and remembered his words.

“Y/N, what happened?”

“I met with Ao’nung.” Silence in the room made you nervous but you kept going. “He asked me for forgiveness and I accepted his apologies. Before you say anything about it I want to let you know that he understood everything and sincerely wishes to live in peace. I saw it in his eyes, he changed.” You tried to sound confident though you were afraid to see regret in your mother’s eyes. That’s why you didn’t look at her. You don’t have courage for this, not after Neteyam’s words.

Nobody said anything. You nervously clenched your fingers. One minute of silence felt like century.

“Do you believe him?”

“I do.”

“Then I believe you, my daughter.”

You looked at Neytiri in disbelief and gratitude. You needed this. Trust. That’s what Neteyam didn’t give to you, but you don’t blame him. He suffers as much as you.

“Thank you, sa’nu.” You hugged her so hard, letting out all bad feelings that you carried for so long. Tears started falling down again and you didn’t try to stop it. You needed this, you needed to go through all this pain to heal. And finally, that’s the moment of it.

“Tsmukan…” you called Neteyam hesitantly, being afraid of his reaction. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know. I’m sorry too. I was listening only my emotions, but not you. That wasn’t right, my yawntutsyip.” He gave you his big brother smile that filled your heart with warmth.

You finally in peace.

Not in pieces.

“Oel ngati kameie, ma metiyawn”

***

After that day, you felt like you started a new life. You negative thoughts don’t bother you anymore and you feel like you can be yourself. The rest of the family reacted positively on your conversation with Ao’nung. Lo’ak tried to “talk” to him once again, but you and Neteyam could stop him and change his mind.

“Y/N, let’s try once again. I’m sure you can do it.” Tsireya volunteered to teach you how to ride ilu today and everything was good except the fact that you still couldn’t keep in your seat.

“Do you still believe I can do this?” You chuckled but came closer to the creature and took a position.

“I promise it’s the last time for today. Don’t move fast, hold her firmly”

You tried to follow her advice but your attempt wasn’t successful as the previous ones. Splashed the water out of irritation. What’s wrong with you? Why is it so difficult to ride an ilu?

“Forest girl is still trying to tame our creatures?” Ao’nung smirked, coming closer to you. You know that he didn’t mean anything bad by saying these words. “I’ll teach you. If you won’t learn how to do it with my help, then nobody can teach you.” Tsireya rolled her eyes. You smiled at Ao’nung greeting him.

“I’ll leave you” Tsireya called her ilu to come back to the village.

“You better check on Lo’ak he was about to try to ride tsurak, but I don’t think he’ll do that without his ass being kicked.” You all laughed at this.

Once you left alone, Ao’nung called ilu for you. You sighed exasperatedly getting ready for another fail.

“Don’t make these sounds. I won’t let you go without trying at least ten times.”

“What? Do you want to exhaust me to death?”

He laughed at your comment and you really liked being friends with him. You could make funny comments about each other and there was no tension between you two anymore.

“Okay, firstly, you need to change your posture.” His big hand moved your leg a little and slightly straightened your back. “Secondly, you have not only ride her slowly, but also hold with two hands at first. You’re only beginner, don’t hesitate to use two hands.” While he was speaking, he took your second hand and placed it on another. You started feeling a little weird… shy. “And finally, you have to calm down. Breathe in slowly and breathe out slowly.” His hand now moved to your stomach, checking out your breathing. You felt goosebumps going down your spine. “Don’t panic, relax. Remember, ilu wants you to be her rider. If you feel uncomfortable, she also feels uncomfortable. You can do that, just don’t be afraid.”

You followed his advices and told ilu to ride. Surprisingly it wasn’t really fast and you could hold in a seat longer than usual. You were so excited that lost control over it and ended up losing your tsaheylu, but you didn’t care about it anymore.

“Did you see? Did you see it Ao’nung?” Bright smile on your face made his heartbeat go crazy. You were so excited about it and he was barely holding himself from kissing you. In fact, the only thing he could do was to smile at you back.

“You did a great job, Y/N. You’re not as hopeless as I thought.” You slightly punched his shoulder and laughed. “Want to try it again?”

“And you ask?”

————————————————————————

A/N: Yaaay, finally something between them is happening! I’m so excited to step on more peaceful and romantic side of this story🥹 Please, share with your opinion on my writing in comments! Even though I don’t always have time to reply, I read everything🫶🏻

If I missed you, plz text me!

Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul @ijwsbdinp @universal-s1ut @myh3artt @lynbubble @jjkclub @kenzi-woycehoski @marvellover4 @ssc7514 @stvrligghtt @johfaam @simplecole18 @flavaliz @chrisbelle @bajadotcom @jak3suiiyscvmslvt @a--1--1--3 @roxannedaybreakermidnight @aonungmyaddiction @neteyamsmate4life @boilingpots

#aonung #aonung x female reader #aonung x reader #aonung x sully!reader #aonung x y/n #aonung x you #avatar 2 #avatar fanfiction #avatar twow #neteyam x sister!reader #loak sully #loak x sister!reader #neteyam #sully!reader #lo’ak avatar #neteyam x reader

[astroyongie]

Stray Kids - November Reading Edition

Note: Please remember to take the readings lightly and with a grain of salt. Enjoy ! next coming : Blackpink, Txt , ITZY, NCT 127 , AESPA, NCT DREAM, IVE, Wayv,  Red Velvet, BTS, G-IDLE and Treasure  

Bangchan:

Love: his situation is complicated. It seems like Chan had some kind of loss/disappointment linking to his family. In another side, he also is going through a whole process of detachment of the person he was, of the ones he loves before. In order to heal himself, he is trying to accept some harsh trues

Career: His career seem to go pretty well, without being surprised, he already has new ideas for the next concept stray kids should do, ideas already flowing for new songs. He is working by himself, living himself up in that area.

Health :

Physical: Nothing much, again he needs to be careful who he sleeps with 

Emotional:  He went through a lot of instability lately, as if he had a breakdown not too long ago. Still some depression feelings hanging around him

Minho

Love: It seems like after that rejecting, Minho became a lot more stronger and he decided to work on himself a lot, about what he wanted and what he didn’t. I do believe that he is seeing someone just not officially. But he is having dates and talking a lot through social media with someone? He sees himself in this person, they are fiery energy. And he is overall happy

Career: He knows that choices needs to be made everyday during his career, he is sometimes letting things die to be able to grow new things. Minho follows his intuition when it comes to his career, he knows what’s best. Whatever project he has in store, just trust him

Health

Physical: Doing well and getting bette

Emotional: X

Changbin

Love: He gets me crazy because every time he changes his feelings, he is starting to give me gemini rising energy. Changbin is once again, avoiding anything concerning his love life and focusing purely on his personal development. Things with love don’t go as he wishes and he feels emotionally unstable to get into a relationship

Career: Things are rather going quite well for him. He was bale to take some directions and some decisions and he knows that he was made to be an idol. He works really hard to be where the standards command him to

Health:

Physical: his throat might feel a bit sore

Emotional: Changbin feels quite lonely in the inside, he is agitated and turmoiled. Also he should get out more instead of staying to the artistic toxic life

Hyunjin

Love: As always his situation is complicated. Despite being happy with his romantic life at the moment, he still feels incomplete by the lack of reassurance. He is trying to take time for himself, but that also makes him being distant with the ones that care for him. He is quite moody lately but he tries to hide it by being nice to people

Career: Hyunjin was approached with projects concerning his career, but he still hasn’t made a choice and the company also haven’t chosen the best for him. As always this project would exige a lot of him, he would have to sacrifice things to do this job. It also seems like he had a huge argument with one of the members concerning the comeback and the preparation for it

Health:

Physical: There’s something fishy about his health but I can’t tell what. He should get checked up

Emotional: A lot of soul pain

Han

Love: Han’s reading was extremely heavy and it made almost nauseous. I don’t understand very well what’s happening to him, however something related to his family that went extremely bad and that hurt Han a lot. I won’t be saying much on this part. When it comes to love, his ex might have gave him the impression that she would come back to him but she didn’t which ended up hurting him even more. He feels very abandoned

Career: His career isn’t going well either. A lot of argumentos (suppose it was with Hyunjin). His perfectionism might have annoyed some. Also it seems like the company wasn’t okay with some of the decisions he took.

Health:

Physical: His anxiety is high, somatic episodes are happening a lot. Stomach aches, his breathing also is complicated, like he has complication breathing sometimes (again probably due to the anxiety), and his calves are hurting too

Emotional: he is seeing someone for that part

Felix

Love: A lot of movement. Felix is happy with his situation. Meaning that he sees a lot of people, he has plenty of people confessing to him and honestly he is just having his fun. However he needs to be careful because he might hurt people if he doesn’t get his feelings straight

Career: Nothing new to say, he is just going through the routine everyday

Health:

Physical: He is having pain around his hears, sinus, neck, throat, eyes. Also bad digestion, he should eat a little more to get the machine going

Emotional: Felix should take care more of his mental health as he hasn’t been doing it. And because of that he gets tired more easily. Also he is having very unhealthy behaviors

Seungmin

Love: I do think he is still in a relationship, however they haven’t seen each other for a long time. They have only spoke to one another through social medias and not personally so things are a little complicated for them

Career: Nothing to say either, it’s a good period and Seungmin is getting money and being paid. It’s the most important thing

Health

Physical: He has a lot of headaches, shoulder and arms pains

Emotional: Not in his best state

Jeongin

Love: Jeongin feels a little vulnerable lately, one of the persons he had an eye on, made clear they weren’t interested in him. He moved on however and he is still having much fun and meeting people and just enjoying his young life without any official relationship

Career: Things are going extremely well for him too. All his hard work is really paying off and the company and his members are proud of him in general. He feels more confident as an artist

Health:

Physical: doing well

Emotional: X

#Stray Kids astrology #Stray Kids #Stray Kids tarot #Stray Kids reading #Stray Kids headcanons #Stray Kids imagines #Stray Kids reactions #Stray Kids scenarios

[sweetface1]

Happy holidays 🎁. I'm back and decided I should probably post something. So this is about the twins after the events of season two. They aren’t a doll (Glen got shot and lived). There are some dark themes so be warned. It does get into mental health issues. I do want to say that I took/referenced a few things from Seed. Spoiler for below. Basically Glen has a breakdown like they did in seed where they ended up killing Joan. It’s pretty vague below (and no one dies). This is just an exploration on the twins based on what we’ve seen or what’s been implied in the movies and show. 😊

I think the twins would have a hard time trusting Andy and Kyle (even Nica with serious things). As their life has essentially been filled with traumatic events caused by the adults in their life. With repressed memories coming back and living in a house full of people victimized by their parents they’d be wary. I think they’d be especially cautious of Andy. They’d believe Andy would be more likely to kill them (they’re paranoid Andys going to find out the events of seed and see them as their parents). I also think they’d just have a harder time around male figures because of psyches and Chucky. They’d come across as quieter and meek. Glenda would still make remarks but they’d lose their bite. With Kyle and Nica it would only be a little better. I don’t think the adults would think too much about their behavior at the moment. I think they’d be under the impression they'd need time to adjust. They also have other priorities with trying to track down Chucky and Tiff. The twins meanwhile take this chance to observe and act how they think they’re expected to be (like the perfect children. Thanks Tiff). They start acting more relaxed and carefree. However when no one’s looking they start sneaking out, drinking, and regress back into their unhealthy coping mechanisms. Surprisingly it’s the kids that start noticing somethings wrong first. They notice eyes twitching, fidgeting, the slip of accents, and dazed expressions. They’re unsure what to do. They decide to talk to Nica since she knows the twins better than Andy and Kyle. I think Nica would take note of it and spend a few days observing the twins to figure out the best way to handle the situation (if ones needed). However, things start escalating. Glenda starts getting increasingly irritable and Glen refuses to leave Glenda’s side. Nica decides the best opportunity to sit them down to talk is tomorrow night sometime after dinner. Only to be horrified the next day when Glen in the middle of a breakdown pushes one of the kids (can’t decide who) down the stairs with the intent to harm them (The kid is just unconscious but Glen thinks they're dead. So does Glenda). She’ll never forget the hysterical laughter or the whisper of voices trying to figure out what to do next. Everything was wrong. The voices were wrong. The mannerisms were wrong. While Nicas is horrified she's able to recognize they need help but first she needs to snap them out of it (Cue Nica yelling for Andy or Kyle to restrain or knock them out). This ends with Nica telling them they need to get help and talk to someone after Glen admits to everything they’ve done from the bad coping mechanisms to parts of their past. They’re horrified at what they’re done and agree immediately. Glenda agrees to try it but they aren’t fond of the idea. Nica just wants them to be able to learn better coping mechanisms and actually process their trauma.

I know the ending falls a bit flat but I did want to give it a somewhat happy ending. I’d like to state that therapy isn’t an instant cure. Someones not automatically going to get better after going once or twice. It takes time and healing isn’t always a linear process. They're going to be good days and bad days.

#chucky syfy #chucky tv series #chucky tv show #glen ray #glenda ray #chucky #seed of chucky #chucky series #tiffany valentine #chucky season 2 #glenda valentine #glenda ray tilly #glen ray tilly #glen valentine #glen tilly #glenda tilly #glen/da #glen and glenda #gg ray tilly #chucky headcanons #chucky show #chucky season two #nica pierce #andy barclay

[tcmmykinard]

Can I say something in regards to that person talking about Eddie not caring? Look I get it, Eddie is my favourite character. I would never complain if there was more Eddie, I always want more Eddie lol. But, and I'm pretty sure I'm wrong, BUT I think that was clearly a writing choice to not have more Eddie scenes. Because this opens up so many opportunities for a future episode and/or scene. Everyone had their moment with Buck, everyone but Eddie. Why? Because the writers are saving it. Because something is coming.

Allow me to put on my clown make up for this. Despite Eddie having gone through therapy and major growth, sometimes traumatic events, such as this, can cause a person to revert back to old ways. Eddie still wasn't "healed" just because he had one major breakdown, he still has a long way to go.

This is still Eddie, he isn't going to start openly sobbing in a hospital full of other people. He still won't cry in front of his son, he waited for the moment chris wasn't looking at him on purpose to cry. He held back his emotions in the opening scene while hugging his team, a sniffle and tear still came out but it was obvious he was trying NOT for that to happen.

I have no doubt in my mind we're gonna get a beautiful moment between Buck and Eddie discussing their traumas from the accident. Maybe it'll be brought on by another accident, for example the trapped episode. Idk for sure, but I'm positive a moment between them is coming. That's why they're saving it because it's gonna be a beautiful scene, Eddie is gonna cry and open up to Buck, and every emotion he felt from the moment that lightning bolt struck to the moment he woke up is gonna come flooding out like it did last season.

yeah i definitely agree with what you are saying here.

i find it so weird that people always do this - especially at the beginning of the second half of the seasons - where they flip out that things aren't going THEIR WAY RIGHT NOW when it's only 2 eps into 6b aka halfway through the season.. we still have a whole half to go that may be full of chances for us to see buck and eddie interacting after all that happened.. and honestly saying that it's clear that eddie doesn't care and that he ignored buck while he was in a coma is so wrong on so many levels for eddie.. that man put buck in his will because he cares so much, he loves buck whether you see it as romantic or platonic.. it doesn't matter. that's just how it is and to say that he clearly doesn't care? idgi. he's never been one to express his emotions super strongly anyway whenever he's upset and definitely not around people but they've written into the reasons why and his healing process so people that are saying that crap just don't pay attention and clearly don't care to look deeper into the thought that is put into these scenes, the writing and most importantly the characters.

#asks #anonymous #911 spoilers #911 fox

[bonesandthebees]

thoughts and questions that didnt get in my comments bc I needed to let them bounce around my brain for a bit 2/2?

okay so wilburs breakdown scene and going from "the pythia" to "he" to "wilbur" even for just a moment, we're all freaking out about bc JDHSHDBDBD OBVIOUSLY HE WAS REFERED TO AS WILBUR and everyone talked about it a lot

but I would like to point out how this scene foreshadowes how this whole healing process is probably going to look like

the whole thing was triggered by techno pressuring wil and putting him in an uncomfortable position and going against him, to which is not the right thing to do, but in this situation the way to get forward

than comes the part where HE TAKES OFF HIS BLINDFOLD AND IS IN THE CAVES IN COMPLETE DARKNESS and it goes from "the pythia" to "he" bc first he has to get rid of all the brainwashing, dehumanisation and just what they made him into to be the pythia, including wearing the blindfold, before he can even start to try and find himself, the "wilbur" part

ofc he returned right back to being "the pythia", but thats just how progress and healing works, its not linear and you keep going forward only to go right back

it's not pretty and it's not enjoyable and wilbur is going to have a really bad time, but hopefully it's going to be worth it later down the line

and we can only hope that tommy will be there in the future to offer some comfort, just like he did now

a little detail that I noticed and would really like to point out is how whenever talking about his role as pythia wilbur keeps using the same words/phrases and i think it was even mentioned in the chapter that hes basically repeating previous pythias words and i would just like to say how cool and thought out that is, the brainwashing is written so well to the details and it makes me want to scream, you are absolutely amazing and I love your writing so much

i am absolutely obsessed with tagd!crimeboys (or honestly just crimeboys in your fics in general, every time they are very different yet so fatally same)

how they are getting touchy after wilbur basically admitted hes touch starved, the unfounded trust that shouldnt exist, but is there, the way they care about each other and tbh even the dependence and attachment that is there (especially from wilburs side considering tommy is almost his only "friend" in all this)

also jack and niki, theyre everything to me and im so glad you have them in so many of your fics theyre consistently my favourite characters and I love them so much

you dont get them in fics very often especially not this full fledged which is a shame bc theyre very cool and im so happy you give them such big roles

thats all I got for now, hope youre having a good time

:))) I love reading analysis of the cave 'wilbur' scene it was so fun for me to write. i loved the transition from 'pythia' to just using pronouns to calling him 'wilbur' just once

also yes healing is not linear. it's messy and you can take steps back and jump forward before falling back again. this was a step forward, and then of course a step went back but it still mattered. it's definitely going to be worth it later down the line though i promise :)

aaa thank you i'm also so obsessed with glass!crimeboys they mean SO much to me. they're such a messy and (future) codependent iteration of crimeboys (all c!crimeboys are codependent it's just like. especially obvious in glass lol)

i LOVED c!jack and c!niki on the dsmp, so I love including them in my fics and giving them main side roles. they're both so fun for me to write and i love their dynamics with crimeboys. i love love love writing jack's dialogue because he's so funny, and i adore niki as a character because of how complex she is (jack ofc is complex too but i just really adore niki)

tysm for this so glad you're enjoying!!

#ask #jiksvokrat #through a glass divine

[sevnthhart-a]

knock knock, it's me, local menace, and i am here to pose a meta question : what does make tifa happy? what does genuinely spark joy to her? any comfort books, food dishes, drinks, snacks, series, books, music? or would you think that tifa is so absorbed with everything that she hardly makes time to find these things for herself?

blu ,  local menace ,  my beloved. thank you for indulging my brainrot xoxo

i. first off, some background as to how i see her mental state / default emotional response because it plays such a heavy part in understanding my thought process on this. to put it frankly, her feelings run deep. this isn't exclusive to the joyful ones, but the more intense outbursts of sadness, anger, etc. as well. while it may not be intentional, everyone close to her  ( or even just in general )  has the power to break her heart or heal it. that isn't to say she's fragile  ( quite the opposite ;  canon content has put her through so much ,  i'm genuinely in awe of how she's able to withstand it all )  or a crybaby about it  ( because i've seen it been said ). the more ill aligning feelings are just so heavily suppressed that it just ends up spiling out bit by bit before it happens to manifest itself into a full blown breakdown. as for the happier ones, she has no need to hold those in. it shows up in a variety of ways — it isn't difficult to make her happy, either. her heart bores so much resemblance to her mother's, so i don't find it hard to believe that she would be grateful for the little things people say or do for her out of kindness as opposed to actions done because of her looks.  ( side note :  the parallels between thea & tifa are so ashjdfsj i love the lockhart girlies with my entire being ) 

ii. music makes her happy. while i don't think she's a diehard fan of any particular artist, i can see her being a casual listener of instrumentals or just anything that can be softly played in the background while she's working solo. bonus points if it's piano heavy! i say that for obvious reasons, but i like to think it reminds her of home & simpler times. it's a bit odd but having the news on in the background  ( think that one ac scene )  is also something she enjoys. when zangan first dropped her off in an unknown city with little to nothing, having the news on low made it feel like she wasn't so alone. obviously, along came people she could call family, but people gloss over the fact that she felt so very isolated during this time. on quiet days, depending on her mood, she'll pick one over the other & just get to work. it's a good reminder of everything's she gained since then.

iii. i don't see her as a big drinker but, she will indulge herself when the occasion calls for it. she reserves it for special times  ( excluding when she's taste testing new menu options ;  that's work & she'll often pull for a second opinion )  with friends. i read somewhere that her, barret, & cloud will get together every so often to reminisce about old times & drink to the happy ones  ( have no idea if this has been confirmed canon or if anyone else was involved ,  but i just adore the idea & fully implement it into my interp because i'm a whore for found family ). in moments like that, where she isn't questioning her strength or pondering what ifs, that she's on cloud nine — because this is her home & it's every bit as dear to her as nibelheim was. i'm not talking about edge or any other location, but the people in her life. they are so very precious to her & she will drink to that.

iv. i do wanna mention that it isn't rare she'll seek these interactions out whenever things start to take a toll on her. this goes back to my first point, but i see it as her method of coping. cloud has his ways, tifa has hers. she wants to continue being seen as a figurehead of stability by the people closest to her heart ;  all so they feel comfortable relying on her when they're the ones in need  ( her redemption from situations that weren't her fault ). by suppressing those unwanted feelings quietly, she's able to move forward  ( albeit ,  with a heavy heart ,  but a heart nonetheless )  & resolve whatever issue is at hand. so i don't necessarily believe she gets so absorbed with everything that she doesn't have time. if it's urgent & she can feel things slipping, she'll do her best to make time for it. 

v. all in all, there are many ways to make tifa loml lockhart happy ;  but quality time & music are the top two i wanted to elaborate on.

#meta tbt #furiaei #honestly im leaning so heavily on the idea of writing with the guidance of hcs bc jdskdjs #thats just how we roll on sevnthhart ig ✋ #this went dhjsd a little off topic but ykw it is what it is #my ill brain just wanted to write about her this morning #im also feeling heavily canon divergent so :'))

[growwithmeastrology]

Monday, May 1st 2023

Sun in Taurus ♉️🌎, Moon in Virgo ♍️🌎

We have quite a bit going on energetically today. Let’s dig into it. First, Pluto goes retrograde this afternoon. It will remain in Aquarius until June 11th where it will retrograde back into the sign of Capricorn until January 2024. As if it weren’t bad enough already, we can expect egotistical and highly destructive behavior from the people in power. It’s just now we begin to see major breakdowns. If you want more info on this shift, go back and check out the 4 part series I did in March.

We have Cazimi energy today with retrograde Mercury sitting in the heart of the Sun in Taurus. This will really shine a light on something that’s popping back up in your life giving you this “aha” moment of clarity as you revisit it.

The Virgo Moon is also quite busy today. It will trine Uranus in Taurus, sextile Mars in Cancer, square Venus in Gemini and oppose Neptune in Pisces. As a whole, this is really industrious or diligent, hard working energy but also quite social. It’s just that you’ll start to see that not everything be quite as it seems.

Try not to be tied down to any specific outcomes today. Virgo Moons tend to help us be hard working but also really standoffish and cold, especially in uncomfortable situations.

Today kicks off a lot of up and down energies as we inch closer to the eclipse on Friday. Be sure to really process what’s coming up. The universe is simply asking you to clear out so that you’re in a better place to move forward.

Learn more about your personal energies and how the daily forecast affects you! Comment below⬇️ or DM me for a FREE consultation.

Grow With Me Astrology provides astrological roadmaps that empowers people to take full control of their lives.

Let me reveal to you the most powerful tool you already possess.

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#astrology #loveyourself #bethechange #healing #dailyhoroscope #selfcare #love #zodiac #sun #venusingemini #sunintaurus #plutoinaquarius #eclipseseason #saturninpisces #taurus #mercuryretrograde #leo #virgo

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[the-inner-alfi]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧Project 3:Genre Mock-Up ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

So this is a comic script rough draft: Characters: - MC who struggles with trauma - Their Trauma personified - Friend/Roommate - Mother Main plot: Mc has gone through a traumatic event in their life, having to come to terms with the effects it has on themselves and the world around them. The reader gets to view the effects through a third person lense and can also see the healing process as well as the opposing theme LOOSE Script: Epilogue: [Start with black screen] -Monologue while sharing the details of that trauma-inducing night -Share the origins of the trauma's "birth" - introduce trauma - explain the current setting Episode 1: - we get an introduction to the main character's life and their daily struggle when all of a sudden their roommate comes in to have a heart-to-heart that falls upon deaf ears as their trauma bickers back point Episode 2: -Some friends come to visit and once again try to get MC to cheer up and open up about what caused them to be like this. We get a moment of realization as MC realizes what they really have lost. Flashback, to memories of childhood - leading up to the show about mother Episode 3: - Mother comes to visit, worried that her daughter has become disconnected. She reminisces about her youth; for the first time, it all becomes too much to bear. MC has a mental breakdown, starting a message of realization that they need help Episode 4: - Mother and Mc have a quiet moment, where Mother tries to sway MC's ideas of therapy, resaying Trauma's main points against the idea. They agree. MC gets a push - a cry for help - before speaking up for themselves - trauma is stunned. MC explains their emotions and the mother finally agrees. - takes MC to their first session Episode 5: - explaining the purpose of treatment and how it's affected MC''S daily life, shows trauma is not fully gone but more compliant than before. Not happily ever after but a start in the happy direction. Sources Cited: https://docs.google.com/document/d/132pR60VXkZwVehf7Mbof_TfTpiDlQ6HTHtNO1nJXges/edit?usp=sharing

WHAT DO THE HIGHLIGHTS MEAN: Because this is a comic, many of the quotes I will be using from my sources will be put into the actual dialogue or the explanatory text in the comics to help give more of an authentic feel to the overall text. CITATIONS: "causes of childhood trauma can originate from a variety of sources. These sources can be classified as "Type 1" which are single events usually marked by intense surprise and/or "Type 2" Which are considered complex or repetitive and marked by prolonged and appalling anticipation (Armsworth and Holaday, 1993; Terr 1991)" (Kramer, pg. 6) Chpt. 4 "students who have experienced trauma may be consumed with intense worry about the well-being of loved ones especially if they're uncertain of their family's whereabouts (Pynoos, Steinberg,& Piacentini, 1999) " (Kramer,8) EP.1? - EP.4 "These long-term reactions can include feelings of helplessness, fear and anxiety, existential insecurity, rage, sorrow, and grief, intrusive images, self-reproach or guilt, and a change in values (Dyregrov, and Mitchell,1992) " (Kramer, 12) EP.4 "Coping mechanisms are strategies used by people who are managing painful or difficult emotions caused by stress or trauma" (Kramer,15) EP. 2 ""Coping is defined as the cognitive and behavioral efforts made to master, tolerate, or reduce external and internal demands and conflicts among"(Folkman & Lazarus,1980)" (Kramer, 15) EP.2 "People will begin to disengage or avoid stressful interactions as a way of dealing with their discomfort (Ayers, Sandier, West,& Roosa,1996; E. A. Skinner et al.,2003)" (Kramer, 18) EP.3 " "Helplessness can be another way of coping, examples of this coping method include inaction or passivity and lends itself to giving up or relinquishing any control over the situation (E.A, Skinner et al,2003)" (Krammer, 18) EP.3 "Social withdrawal involves the art of avoiding other people and preventing others from knowing about stressful situations, particularly in regards to the emotional impact of this particular situations (E. A. Skinner et al., 2003; Tobin et al, 1989) "(Kramer, 19) EP.3 "Opposition includes such factors like aggression, anger, venting, and blaming of others for the situation (E.A.Skinner et al., 2003)" (Kramer, 19) EP.2

"standards have been made and implemented in what is known as trauma-informed care." (Taylor, 19) EP. 5 "Trauma-informed care and services involves " understanding, anticipating, and responding to the issues, expectations, and special needs that a person who has been victimized may have in a particular setting or service at a minimum, trauma informed services should endeavor to do no harm - to avoid retraumatizing survivors or blaming them for their efforts to manage their traumatic reactions" (According to Bath, 2008)"(Taylor,20) EP. 2 ""Understanding, anticipating, and responding to the issues, expectations, and special needs that a person who has been victimized may have in a particular setting or service. At a minimum, trauma-informed services should endeavor to do no harm -- to avoid retraumatizing survivors or blaming them for their efforts to manage their traumatic reaction (According to Bath (2008). 19) " (Taylor, 20) Ep. 2 "Exposure to traumatic events is becoming a collective experience for children and adolescents (Holmes et al., 2015)" (Thompson, 3) EP. 3 " Long-term exposure to traumatic events has been shown to have damaging effects on a child's brain (Cook-Cottone,2004)" (Thompson, 3) Ep. 4 " A child's exposure to trauma can also impact how they perceive themselves. A child with adversity can view themselves in a negative light that limits them and does not allow them to see the positivity (Ramburuth & Härtel, 2010) " (Thompson, 4) EP. 4 "Since traumatic events are happening more frequently, early identification and interventions are imperative, primarily when trauma occurs during critical developmental periods (Holmes et al., 2015)" (Thompson, 3) EP. 5 ================================================ PROLOGUE: [Start at black screen] "I Don't remember when it started feeling this heavy" [ Insert scene one: at a party ] - people dancing - drinks on the table. - music drowns out and an ominous door shows up and the edges around the image turn black. "I just know, that my body hurt. It was so hot, too hot, my skin felt like it was wax melting.," [Scene progresses to a hand against an arm- tight grip] "there's a force that makes me feel like I'm drowning" "And then nothing" --- [ Insert scene: alarm clock ] "I only know one thing for sure, this THING showed up the next day" "it follows me" [Bathroom eye contact] "everywhere.." [Walking into the kitchen] "I never know what it wants, sometimes all it does is sit there quietly" ['you want some?'] -- "Mornings like this make me forget that -" ['Trauma void'] "I hate when it talks" ============================ EPISODE 2: ROOMMATES: "[ ], I brought food" [Roommate enters, the house seems empty] [still shot of cup on coffee table] [knocks onto the door] "[---]?" [She opens the door and sees {mc] on the floor] "hey" "hey"

"did you eat?" "ill eat later" 'the food will only make you bigger than you are ' [ Silent still shot of the two of them] ".. you've gotten quieter" "Maybe I was always this way" 'no you weren't, you've changed " stop that" "stop what" ' she's judging us ' " Stop acting like you don't have a problem!!" [Trauma and [ ] grow silent as they both look at their angered roommate] [Roommate sighs before reaching to gently grab [. ] 's hand] "im worried about you [---]" 'she's not worried, who would care for someone like you "Why, nothing wrong" "don't say nothing wrong- you need to really think [----]; you know there's something - up with you" "Im. Fine" 'you're fine you're fine you're fine you're fine" [distress clearly on their face as raised up anxiety is beginning to affect them] " you're not - look I don't know what's up for sure - but - looking for some healthcare person who can just- listen to you-" "do you think I'm crazy?" ' crazy crazy crazy' "no! god- no! look healthcare people are specialized to help you - they can understand what's happening - whatever that is - they can help YOU understand what's wrong-" "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME" [Trauma grips onto MC] [Roommate stares silently noting that they seem more distant]. "okay." "Trauma-informed care and services involves " understanding, anticipating, and responding to the issues, expectations, and special needs that a person who has been victimized may have in a particular setting or service at a minimum, trauma informed services should endeavor to do no harm - to avoid retraumatizing survivors or blaming them for their efforts to manage their traumatic reactions" (According to Bath, 2008)"(Taylor,20) EP. 2 ""Understanding, anticipating, and responding to the issues, expectations, and special needs that a person who has been victimized may have in a particular setting or service. At a minimum, trauma-informed services should endeavor to do no harm -- to avoid retraumatizing survivors or blaming them for their efforts to manage their traumatic reaction (According to Bath (2008). 19) " (Taylor, 20) Ep. 2 ==================== EPISODE: 2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY: "[. ]!! open up!!" [Mc. who has been on the couch looking slightly disheveled looks away from the TV and walks to the front door with the blanket - the trauma hiding under it] [Door opens] [Several friends stand outside all holding various birthday items - all with bright smiles] [MC Looks back in silent shock] [ still shot of the sky as a speech bubble of "happy birthday"] -- [show the pop of champagne as everyone sits around the coffee table] "you all didn't have to come..." "nonsense! Why wouldn't we come to keep company to our dear friend?" "Why do you always sound so posh-" "ANYWAY- how do you feel? How's your birthday so far? " "It's, okay.." "just okay? big 21? and it's just okay?" "It's an age" [They all continue talking and having a good time taking a sip of their own drinks] [MC feels unnerved noticing their eyes- are their eyes on her, She feels trauma whispering into her head, she doesn't want to be there. she's crowding into herself] "[. ]? are you alright?" "huh?" "you seem... out of it?" "oh, yeah i'm fine" ' you are fine' "you sure? you don't look well" "have some cake" [Mc looks uncomfortably at the cake] 'you're fine' "i know" 'there's nothing wrong with you' "you're attention seeking' "i don't want to be here" [shows everyone having fun] 'why? you like parties, you've always liked parties' "I just don't anymore" 'what the hell the matter with you, you should be happy ' . 'yeah, why am I not happy.' 'why do I feel so, far away '

"Coping mechanisms are strategies used by people who are managing painful or difficult emotions caused by stress or trauma" (Kramer,15) EP. 2

""Coping is defined as the cognitive and behavioral efforts made to master, tolerate, or reduce external and internal demands and conflicts among"(Folkman & Lazarus,1980)" (Kramer, 15) EP.2 ============================= EP: 3: HOMELAND [I've been thinking about my situation. trying to think about wether or not I should be afraid for myself]

[it doesn't help that - that thing has been more persistent than usual. Like it knows me better than I know myself... Like a certain someone, I know] "Mami?" "I brought food!!!" [a short woman with a perfectly pressed dress and blouse holding up multiple bags. Her smile is evident] ============ [the small woman walks around judging everything, her child and trauma following suit] "you live like this" "Mami- it's been a busy week-" "busy doing what? I raised 5 children and I lived cleaner than this when I was your age-" "Mami, times are different now" [scene change, showing a disgruntled face of the mom] " the only thing that's changed is this generation, always just blaming anyone and everyone and just never getting things done" [ fade into the mc, the mc seems distracted and distant as their trauma repeats and warps their mothers' words] [Mom turns around] "[. . .]?-" [she gasps lightly as she sees the trauma. Her eyes fixed on it, in her own fear she grabs her daughter's hand] "Come, let's do your laundry" == [Folding laundry] [mother glanced at her as she folds, noticing they look tired and drained] She sighs "

"People will begin to disengage or avoid stressful interactions as a way of dealing with their discomfort (Ayers, Sandier, West,& Roosa,1996; E. A. Skinner et al.,2003)" (Kramer, 18) EP.3

" "Helplessness can be another way of coping, examples of this coping method include inaction or passivity and lends itself to giving up or relinquishing any control over the situation (E.A, Skinner et al,2003)" (Krammer, 18) EP.3

[444newbeginnings]

Didn't date check my last post before coming to write this one so ill see after, how long its been. Im falling apart.... theres so much to say and honestly im too tired to even explain. Im going to see my primary care doctor this friday (black friday) and im going to see if she can refer me to a therapist on my insurance. I have never been this low in my life and life is really kicking my ass. My relationship is good when its good and very bad when its bad. No matter how i try to explain it or approach things, i keep ending up sweeping my feelings under a mat and atp its extremely noticeable. Like someone trying to hide a stack of books under a thin bed sheet. It looks ridiculous, right? Which is one of the places i feel all this anger stems from. Yes i have trauma and baggage that I am processing and healing from, which i am aware. But, its also the fact that she doesn't get it. I can't say anything or express my feelings (the not so good ones) without it hurting hurt feelings or making her feel attacked or making her feel like im pointing the finger or making her feel like im only worried about myself or making her feel like she's taken for granted/unappreciated. Granted, i try my hardest to refrain from making her feel any of those ways and try to keep them in mind instead of chucking it up to her just crying wolf in situations that start from me coming to express myself. The problem is though that my feelings usually dont get addressed. And if they do, they're already hurt by then and even more hurt by the way the conversation goes when i try to express them. I try to explain it and she thinks "everything with you has a list or rules or is like wikipedia" (her words). I would much rather her go back to saying i talk to much. Yes some things are just hard to hear and sometimes there isn't an easy way to share an honest feeling. I get that. I try to make her get that. Just because it hurts to hear doesn't mean im in the wrong for saying it. Granted, I KNOW the situations where this doesn't apply!!! Me saying something smart or sarcastically , in a way that obviously would hurt someones feelings or that i know for a fact could have been said differently, does not fall under this. She however does not know the difference. Her words hurt especially when it feels like what and how she said something, is completely unnecessary. Example: the other morning, when she came back from the bathroom i tried to get cuddles because i hate just jumping out of the bed immediately in the morning or into our phones, the day, whatever, without some kind of moment to ourselves, a good morning, a how are you feelings, a check in. I make a comment, jokingly, and say well maybe if you weren't on your phone we could take a minute to cuddle. Saying it to say like get off your phone and love me. She looks at me and says "im on my phone because we're stressed and behind on billls and im checking my application replies (something of that nature but definitely on quote we're stressed and behind on bills). I thought that entire sentence was completely hurtful and unnecessary, not to mention me having a whole emotional breakdown about me feeling fucked up about our situation and me feelings like im drowning and not wanting to be here just for you to turn around, look me in my eye and say that?? The very next day.. it really hurt my feelings. Then when i try to explain the fact that maybe you shouldn't just throw things up in the conversation like that after having said emotional breakdown, im giving too many rules and list and im never satisfied. Its about your insensitivity. You can really be an asshole sometimes, at the worst times. I just dont get it. I know im not a mean or nasty person, especially not for you to carry me that way with the things you say to me. Yes when im angry and we're arguing, im a monster. Which i can acknowledge and i try my hardest not to be and still trying to work on it. Hopefully the therapist will help with that part but outside of that, im not this ungrateful, snappy, mean person you make me feel like .......

[flylikejetstreams]

somebody just texted me that they saw my ex(????????ish????????? hard to explain. august situation) laughing with their girlfriend today. like i really didn’t need to know but thank you for going out of your way to share!

#it is moments like these where i breakdown and have to start the healing process all over again #<3 #txt

[morefandomscenarios]

Hello! I just read the died in his arms head canons and was wondering if one of the crew members had an ability to extend a person's life, but needed a sacrifice where they take half of the remaining life of a person close to the recently deceased and the process is excruciating. I imagine it would be like Kuma like literally pulling the life force out of the living partner's body and transplanting it into the dead partner.

What would the living partner do when the dead person is completely healed and alive?

lol yall hated the unresolved angst huh?

I usually don't take requests for this many characters but excluding some of them felt weird so this is an exception! Don't get used to it :P

⛔️ TWs: imprisonment on Doffy's

Luffy

Gets even clingier. If you think he was clingy before, think again.

He now follows you around like a puppy.

Going to read some books? Ok, don't mind him, he's just gonna wrap around you and take a nap.

Going to take a bath? Oh- What do you mean he can't come in the bath with you??

Luffy has always been a silent protector type, preferring to let people deal with their own problems unless they can't - but now, when it comes to you he'll actively try to help. Especially while you're still recovering from the incident.

He also becomes more aware of your presence in general. Throughout his day in Sunny, he'll subconsciously look for you, just to make sure you're around and are okay.

There will be this period of time where he'll try to think twice before springing to action, especially when you're involved. But this goes away with time and he'll be back to normal act-first-think-later Luffy.

All in all, he might get a little attached to you for a while, but we've seen how Luffy faces his adversities and bounce back in the end, so this will just become an experience that furthers his growth.

Sanji

Man is even more attentive now it's almost overbearing.

Are you too hot? Too cold? Thirsty? Hungry? Well-rested?

Checks on you 24/7.

Panics when you bleed (even just for the slightest cut) or get sick.

He will of course aid your recovery by paying special attention to your food.

Honestly, he'll gladly carry you everywhere if you let him.

Want to be spoon fed? He'll blow your food to make sure you don't burn your tongue.

Want his help to clean yourself? Never fret, Sanji's here with the softest towels and nicest smelling soaps!

Want to take a nap? He'll warm up some milk and gladly let his arm become your pillow.

All in all, expect to be smothered with love. Not just throughout your recovery, but even after that, because there's no way Sanji will let you stare death in the eyes like that ever again.

Ace

Will repeatedly thank whoever crew members that helped you so many times. Offers to name his future child after them if he ever gets one.

He'll check in with Marco every single day to make sure your recovery is going well. Poor phoenix man is probably now used to him barging in the middle of his work and has a report of your recovery progress ready.

Stays by your bedside when you're awake and guards you silently when you're asleep.

He's basically glued to you and refuses to leave you alone.

At times, he'll look at you and tear up when the memory of you being so close to death resurfaces.

This poor bby inwardly blames himself for letting you get hurt ;(

Like Luffy, he's clingier than ever once you're able to walk around.

Follows you around to make sure he's there if you need help.

Checks in with you regularly and will drop whatever he's doing to help you with anything and everything.

If he has to be away for some reason, he'll definitely have your Vivre card and keep himself updated with your location. If the paper starts burning, even just a bit, he'll rush straight to your side.

Law

Scolds you the moment you wake up... But only because he's so, so stressed.

In the end his scolding turns into a full breakdown. Just because he's experienced his loved ones dying before it doesn't mean he's used to it.

He's just so glad that you survived.

Please just hug him.

Law is a subtle protector, so he'll continue to watch you and protect you from the shadows.

That being said, I honestly can see this developing in two ways: him distancing himself from you (because if he failed to protect you once, what's to say that he won't fail twice?) or him trying his best to keep you close (because then he'll be in the most optimal position to protect you, and in the worst case scenario he can use his own body to shield you).

Nightmares of you dying will be added on top of his ever-growing list of bad dreams.

Though he never initiates cuddles, his favorite sleeping position now is snuggled up against you, so he can listen to your heartbeat when you sleep.

Will seriously consider exchanging his heart with yours.

Kid

He's so bad at dealing with emotions like love and saying "I love you"s, but after the incident the first thing he does when you open your eyes is to say those three exact words.

The regret he felt when he thought he was going to lose you forever and the fact that one of you could die tomorrow has never been more apparent, so he will push him to become more open with verbally showing his love.

Overprotectiveness multiplied by 927495 times.

Becomes super sensitive and short-tempered when someone he doesn't know/trust tries to touch you.

Gentle and Kid don't go together but he tries. He tries really hard to help you with your recovery.

Despite this, he'll personally train with you every now and then. He needs reassurance that you'll be able to take care of yourself in the end, because as much as he wants to, Kid can't always watch you 24/7.

He doesn't realize it himself but he'll become more aware of his surroundings whenever you're around now.

His crew members are usually independent people, but he might consider having a buddy system after the incident. Just in case.

Killer

Will get very withdrawn at first.

You'll have to be the one who approaches him and ask what's wrong.

Only then he'll spill the insecurities that's been boiling inside him; how he failed to protect you, and whether it would be better for you to be with someone else who's a protector, not a killer.

It'll take much persuasion on your part to assure him that you only want him, not anyone else.

Killer has never been too protective in the first place, preferring to leave you to your own devices so you won't feel that he's being overbearing. But when his mind is set, after the incident he'll be hanging around you more if he's not attending to Kid.

Expect him to hover around you like a silent guard dog.

I headcanon the Kid Pirates don't really have a "real" doctor - the members who have little medical knowledge have a rotation schedule to take care of injured people. But after the whole thing with Kid losing an arm and now this, Killer is frantic in looking for crewmembers who will actually know what they're doing.

Doflamingo

Look, Doffy is a selfish, selfish man, and he's no saint. And his love, well, it's heavy and it's just as twisted as he is what'd you expect.

If your freedom resulted in you endangering yourself like that then he has no issues robbing it away from you.

Because clearly you can't take care of yourself. You're too weak and the world nearly took you away from him. And the worst part is that he nearly allowed it to happen.

If there's anything he learned from this experience, it's that the most precious treasures should be stowed away to prevent spoilage and thieves.

So I can see him locking you away and not letting you do anything.

Always has his officers escort you everywhere you go within his castle.

You want fresh air? Just go to the balcony.

You want to take a walk in the city? He can get the palace garden rearranged every week; you can take your walks there.

You better get used to living like a bird whose wings have been clipped.

... Hey, at least your birdcage is made of polished gold?

Sabo

Throughout your journey of recovery, his feral side will be turned up by a notch.

Boy will literally hiss and try to claw out people's eyes for hurting you or hindering your recuperation.

Like his brothers, he becomes more clingier, and will sulk if you tell him off.

If you're ever feeling saddened by the fact that he had to essentially give up half his life to you, he'll always be there to remind you that he doesn't regret anything and would even do it again (so you better stay safe).

If you're a revolutionary like him, Sabo would beg you to not go on missions for a while.

He's not above pleading with Dragon to try to convince him that you're still recovering (even months after your actual recovery).

Normally he keeps in touch with you whenever he's on his missions, but now he makes sure there are other people around you whom he can contact and ask about your wellbeing.

Gradually over time his overprotectiveness mellows out, but it doesn't mean that his resolve to protect you is less stronger.

He's more determined than ever to bring a change to the world, for the betterment of it will keep you safer.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #sanji #portgas d. ace #trafalgar law #eustass kid #killer #donquixote doflamingo #sabo #headcanon

[phoenixyfriend]

Uncle Ben and Little Luke

AKA we combine several types of time travel for maximum Soft Chaos, let’s go

EDIT NOW THAT I’VE WRITTEN THIS UP: jfc this ended up much angstier than initially intended uhhhhhhhhhh sorry

So a common enough thing I’ve seen in time travel fics is characters getting de-aged when tossed back physically, to neither the age they should be in that time, nor the age they were from the time they left, but whatever is most convenient. This is usually de-aging OT Obi-Wan into his TCW self, for reasons relating to, chiefly, removing the damage of Tatooine absolutely destroying his body alongside PTSD-driven alcoholism, but also because fic writers are horny, and Ewan McGregor playing a late-thirties negotiator is on average more appealing to people than Alec Guinness playing a vaguely feral desert hermit.

So, here’s how it plays out:

We take Luke and Ben from some point in the OT. There are a variety of options depending on how angsty we want it to be. My first instinct is ‘right after Owen and Beru die’ but I want to have that sweet angst where Luke knows that his dad is Vader and that Obi-Wan was trying to convince him to kill his own father without telling him that.

We’ll go with shortly after Bespin, and then they end up significantly before TPM. The Obi-Wan of the timeline proper is, eh, let’s say eighteen. Not really ready to be a knight, but old enough that we don’t have to worry about “if we go save Shmi, do we somehow wipe out Anakin?” which is absolutely a worry. Anakin is a toddler, and is in no place to be evil, on account of being literally two years old. He can’t even explode people with his brain yet.

Now, Ben finds himself mid-thirties, as is traditional. He’s not upset at this, because his joints hurt so much less than they used to! His knees aren’t exactly teenage-perfect, but by the Force are they better than they were in the years before he died! His hair has color! He doesn’t have arthritis! And, goodness, no physical withdrawal symptoms! The psychological aspect is still there, but nonetheless, he’s in much better shape than he last remembers being.

Luke looks like he’s about six. He was recently twenty-two. This is not an upgrade. Ben keeps having to carry him. He can’t see over the counter when they enter a bar for information. He can’t enter the bar in the first place. He’s very annoyed by all of this.

Ben is not annoyed. Ben is having a lot of emotions, actually, but annoyance isn’t one of them. He didn’t get to help raise Luke the way he might have if Anakin hadn’t lost his shit, okay, he sees a small Luke and he wants to hug him and cry.

Luke would like to be able to purchase a speeder part without the lady at the stall asking him if he needs his “dad’s” permission.

Once they figure out when and where they are, they need to decide where and how to leave. There are general shenanigans to gamble their way into enough money to hire a ship. They are in the ass end of nowhere, but definitely not Tatooine. There appears to be a jungle. There appears to be a significant variety of man-eating creatures. There appears to be a temple to the Force of questionable origin. None of this is actually helpful, except for the moment they find a “baby’s first lightsaber” in the temple.

Luke only has one hand and, being a six-year-old, his body is growing too fast for him to bother with getting a wired-in prosthesis the way he could as an adult. He can get a more basic prosthesis, but nothing that attaches to the neurons. He’ll outgrow it too fast.

He’s tiny and he’s not used to doing things with just one hand. He uses the Force to do what one hand can't, and every time someone tries to tell him he's misusing the Force he whaps them with the empty sleeve.

So, you know, they find out what year it is. Ben has a breakdown. Luke is upset that he left behind his friends. Ben admits to him that Leia was his twin. Luke stares in horror because dude, she kissed him, you couldn’t have mentioned this earlier???

Ben points out that Beru and Owen were keeping Luke away from him for nineteen years, and then they had about three days of awkward travel to find Leia in the first place, and then Ben died. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to figure out how to tell him.

(This sparks an argument that lasts several days. All onlookers assume that Ben’s son is throwing a tantrum. He doesn’t correct them, even though this is a very valid reason to be upset, because the truth is much harder to explain.)

Sooooo they travel. Mostly, Ben plays Sabacc, cleans house, and pays their way towards Coruscant. Luke still really wants to learn to be a Proper Jedi, even though Ben is pretty sure that Luke would have... a lot of difference of opinion with the Temple, but sure. Coruscant. They can at least stop by, and see Qui-Gon, and Mace, and Quinlan, and Bant, and everyone else that’s still alive and not tragically deceased in the horror following the start of the Clone Wars and then the birth of the Empire, and Ben can have a nice sob over all his dead friends being alive again.

Ben is only barely holding it together while Luke is in the room with him at any given point. But it’s fine! It’s fine. He’s fine. All of his loved ones have come back to life! It’s great! HE’S FINE.

He is not fine.

Luke is also grieving all the people who haven’t been born yet, but he’s... significantly more okay than Ben is.

The closer they get to the Core, the more often people just assume Ben is Luke’s father, and then look shocked and uncomfortable when Luke flatly calls him by his name, and they just... compromise. This is the point at which Luke starts calling him “Uncle Ben.”

Ben cries in his bunk later that night. Luke overhears it and wonders how the HELL Ben is more unstable now, when there’s a chance to fix things and no Vader or Empire trying to kill or capture both of them, and all his friends are alive.

(Luke will later learn a lot about PTSD and realize this is actually a fairly normal situation, to process significant events and emotions only after gaining safety or catharsis.)

(Twenty years on a ball of sand with an alcohol addiction and debilitating fear of the man you raised as your own brother is not, in fact, safe or cathartic.)

At any rate, they’ve settled into that pattern by the time they reach the Inner Rim. The Inner Rim is the part of the galaxy at which they’ve collected enough money (and mental stability) to travel a little better, and to take a few more risks.

Risks like “manipulate people with those baby blues.”

Ben tells Luke that he’s a menace, after he pouts so cutely that he gets a free scarf added on to a purchase that Ben makes. Luke responds that Ben has no room to talk, since he flirted a free breakfast out of that one inn owner.

Also, Luke is currently physically six. That is objectively a situation that sucks. He deserves to use it for all it’s worth if he’s stuck like this.

“You know, if you keep wearing all-black and looking longingly at the velvet cape and Space Chanel boots, the temple is going to worry that you’re a darksider.”

“Uncle Ben... you told me, yesterday, that I sparkle so brightly in the Force that it’s almost blinding.”

“Yes, but the gloves--”

They don’t agree on this, but Ben relents. He does actually understand good fashion, unfortunately, and he’s not unaware of how much Leia taught Luke about such things.

Luke’s about forty years ahead of the curve, of course, but Skywalkers are prone to such things. It’s usually in regards to technology, granted, but...

They get to Coruscant. Ben is very obviously a Jedi. He knows all the right words and walks like a Soresu master and feels warm and comforting in the Force. They let him in with minimal questions. They note down “my first padawan left the order to have a child, but died shortly after; I consider Luke here to be my nephew, and have raised him as such,” and move on.

Luke is vaguely annoyed because he already had an uncle (and aunt) that raised him, but he admits that a person can have more than one uncle. He can live with this. Ben was more family to Anakin than Owen was, in some ways, so it’s kind of true. Luke is even working on feeling more childish affection for Ben instead of the complicated mess of emotions that come from being lied to about some very large and important subjects, and then seeing the person saying those lies have regular emotional breakdowns due to something as small as Luke saying he likes the curve of the hull on that freighter.

(Apparently he sounds just like his father did as a child. This is almost heartwarming.)

The thing is! The thing. The thing is, they almost make it to the Halls of Healing to get looked over for weird viruses, or Outer Rim Parasites, or whatever the hells needs to be happening. They almost make it without Ben having a flashback to dead younglings or brainwashed troopers or the declaration of a Sith Empire. They almost make it without incident.

Then Ben sees Qui-Gon, and freezes, and does not move again.

Luke cannot get him to restart.

People are staring.

They haven’t even made it to Medical, Uncle Ben, come on.

Young, local Obi-Wan comes over and asks if there’s something he can do to help. Or maybe this “Ben” knows Qui-Gon? Master Jinn doesn’t recognize Ben, but maybe Luke knows more?

Luke does know more, but what Luke actually says is “he probably needs a mind healer.”

(Ben will not appreciate this.)

(Ben is unfortunately standing in the middle of the hallway and completely unresponsive, and is unable to argue with this assertion.)

(Ben is pretty much proving this assertion entirely correct, actually.)

Obi-Wan is helpful, if a little bitchy in the manner of most late-teens individuals, and offers to help get Uncle Ben down to the Halls of Healing. It involves Obi-Wan gently pushing on Ben’s shoulders, and Qui-Gon offering to carry Luke so he can be in Ben’s sights (because Ben is a Mystery, and Qui-Gon is quite fond of those, so he wants to stay involved). Ben kind of just... shuffles on down.

There are medical tests. They ask about how Luke lost his hand. He refuses to talk about it. They ask how Ben got all his scars. Luke says he doesn’t know. They ask if he knows why Ben looks like he’s been through a war. Luke says it’s because he probably was.

They check for foreign viruses. They find evidence of thus-far-unpatented vaccinations. They ask Luke if he knows what he’s vaccinated for.

“How would I know? I’m six.”

They agree that this is a good excuse.

(It is not. He’s lying. They do not know this.)

They do some more tests. They find a lot of questionable medical bullshit in Ben’s body. Most of this is from the clone wars, but they don’t know this. Someone realizes they haven’t gotten a ping back from the Shadow Network regarding “do we have permission to pull the medical file of a Jedi that isn’t in the normal database? We’re assuming you know who he is, since we don’t.”

The Shadow Network does not know who Ben is.

The healers, of course, go “huh, that’s weird, but maybe the name he gave his nephew was fake. We can’t exactly ask ‘Ben’ for more details right now. We already had to sedate him. Let’s check the DNA!”

The DNA pulls up as Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The padawan who brought this guy in two hours ago.

“Huh, that’s weird. Let’s call in Kenobi and ask if he knows what’s going on.”

Obi-Wan absolutely does not know what’s going on.

They ask Luke.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, lying through his teeth and not even pretending otherwise.

“You’re not a very good liar,” teenage Obi-Wan tells him.

“I’m not trying to be,” Luke says. “Can you get Master Yoda? I feel like we’re going to need him.”

They normally wouldn’t get Yoda on the request of a six-year-old, but they also normally don’t have a catatonic thirty-something Jedi who looks like he’s been through a war popping up in the medical database as the pimply teenage padawan that broke his pinky trying to do a Badass Ataru Flip last week.

Or... whatever Luke i... is... oh dear.

“Young one,” Qui-Gon asks, while people whisper-shout behind him, not realizing he’s cutting the Correlian Knot and just asking the kid himself. “Do you know why your midichlorian count is so high? It’s almost unheard of.”

“Uncle Ben said my dad was the Chosen One,” Luke says, because he is capable of being a little shit and is actually really eager to let Ben deal with some of the fallout. He feels for the man, really, but he’s also tired of being the one to field every single question.

Also, the expressions that pass on Qui-Gon’s face are hilarious.

(Luke may or may not be more affected by his six-year-old brain than he would like to admit.)

“Thank you,” Qui-Gon says, sounding more than a little strangled about it.

It takes another three hours for Ben to wake up.

He listens to the questions. He hears what they say his ‘nephew’ said. He looks at Luke.

“Is this revenge for not telling you about Leia?”

“It’s not revenge,” Luke does not lie. “I just don’t know how to explain it.”

“It’s pretty easy to explain.”

“It’s not my secret.”

“This is revenge for the Leia thing.”

“No,” Luke says. “Revenge for the Leia thing was when I ate a live frog in front of you.”

This is the point at which someone interrupts and points out that they appear to be stalling.

“Oh, he is,” Luke tells them. He gestures at Ben. “I can’t tell you more, because it’s more his story than mine.”

“I’m afraid, Master, that I am very likely to have an emotional breakdown if I allow myself to consider the reality of this situation for longer than the fraction of a second I already have,” Ben reports, full of false cheer. “Suffice to say, I am far from stable and have only held out this far for Luke’s sake.”

“Can you explain why you have my DNA?” Obi-Wan asks, as the person who’s most concerningly involved in this situation.

“You can,” Ben says, smiling like there is absolutely nothing wrong in the slightest, ever. “I’m you, from the future. I actually died and spent a few years dead before coming back. I’m not sure why I’m younger than I was when I died, but I appreciate being able to put on my shoes without my knees attempting to mutiny.”

“He needs a mind healer,” Luke reiterates, in case the strained grin hasn’t made it clear. “So do I, but not as much.”

“I have felt literally every person in this Temple save for Luke and Yoda die,” Ben reports, looking a shade more manic than a few seconds earlier. “It’s very overwhelming to feel you all being alive again. I may be approaching a mental breakdown, and I’ve been rather strictly advised against using alcohol to treat my traumas again.”

Luke kicks him in the thigh. It’s not a very hard kick, because he is very small, and he does actually like Ben. “I’m not letting you turn into an old drunk again.”

After several seconds of silence, a healer quietly suggests that everyone clear the room, and asks if someone could fetch Master Yoda as the youngling requested.

(THIS IS ALMOST THREE THOUSAND WORDS. I started it less than two hours ago. Why am I like this.)

#Ben Kenobi #Obi Wan Kenobi #Luke Skywalker #Qui Gon Jinn #Time Travel #De Aging #Phoenix Posts #Uncle Ben and Little Luke

[writersblog20]

Night Terrors

Tom Hiddleston x reader.

Not my gif! Credits to the owner!

Summary: you have a movie night at RDJ’s house with the entire marvel cast and it turns out in a sleepover. You and Tom were very close from the beginning. Everyone knew you found yourself in a hard time and they were always there for you. But when you all fell asleep you were cruelly awakened by a nasty nightmare. Tom tries his best to comfort you.

Warnings: Angst, ptsd (in my experience because everyone experience ptsd differently.), night terrors, passing of a loved one. Age-gap but definitely legal! Reader is about 24. Nudity but not sexual and a lot of comfort

Words: 3,3K

 It was a Saturday night and RDJ invited the whole marvel cast for a nice bbq and a movie night over his house. You were an beginning actress as well and this was your first big role. You did on the other hand directed a lot of small films which gave you an identity on it’s own. People loved the movies that you wrote and directed and loved to see you play in one. You were actually interested in acting as well so you took the opportunity with both hands when Marvel asked you to play in a movie.

You met Tom, Benedict and Sebastian already. They all acted separately in your movies. But the closest connection you had with Tom. You actually developed a huge crush on the British actor but you thought he saw you as a little sister. Not only that but you started working together as well.

Tom would pick you up to go to RDJ’s house together. You heard your doorbell go off and opened the door seeing a smiling Tom. “Hey Tom!” you said excited and he pulled you in a big hug. “Hello love, how are you doing?” he asked you. “I’m trying.” You told him and he gave you a weak smile. “I actually called my godmother today…” you told him. “really? How did it go?” he asked you. “We talked for about an hour and a half. It was very hard. I was becoming emotional but I didn’t want to cry…. Still in my system I guess.” You told him while he listened intently. “I’m so proud of you. I bet it was hard. But you are making so much progress and you’re really trying. You’re so strong and such a strong woman.” He told you giving you a hug. You nuzzled into his sweater. “Thank you Tom.” You told him.

Everyone knew you had a difficult time with the passing of your godfather. You always saw him as your father since your biological dad was a shithead to say nicely. So when he passed it was a big shock for everyone. It was sudden and unexpected. It also triggered your ptsd. You were always very open about mental health but at this moment it was a very hard time for you. The whole cast was there for you but Tom was always there and could read you like an open book. Which scared you as well because you were afraid that he would know about your secret crush on him.

When it happened you were all alone and tried to stay strong for your family like he asked you and so you did. Then came the roll around which he knew about and you promised him you would take him to the premiere. So with the premiere around the corner you felt yourself crumbling down. besides that you never really had time to process everything and try to heal from what happened. So when you were having a big breakdown one day, they all found out what was happening. Tom spend a lot of time with you after that. More than he already had. He was determined to never let you be alone again in one difficult moment.

You got your stuff and your present for RDJ and hopped in the car with Tom. He obviously helping you as the gentleman that he is. You chatted for a while about funny things and you told him you were writing a new script for a movie. “maybe you can read it sometime if you want and let me know what you think?” you asked him carefully. Tom’s heart filled itself with love that you trusted him enough to let him read your new script. “I would love to!” he told you honestly and you smiled while looking at the road.

Once arrived RDJ opened the door and hugged you tightly. You walked into the big house and saw that a lot of the cast was already there and you hugged them all. “oh I brought you something!” you told RDJ. “oh you didn’t have to!” he told you while gripping the present and opening it with a big smile. “can’t come empty handed! They raised me differently” you told him giggling. “You see! You can all take a note from Y/N here!” he told the marvel cast who were laughing. You made him a painting. Ever since he saw how you painted he wanted one and wouldn’t shut up about it so you thought this was the perfect time. “it’s absolutely beautiful y/n” he told you mesmerized by the painting. He pulled you in a big hug. “we’ll find a nice place to hang it up together later.” He told you softly which made you smile.

You all took a seat and started to eat. You all had laughs and sat outside in the evening. His garden was beautiful. There were fairy lights to make it cozy and a fire was burning. You sat contently staring at the fire in silence. Tom noticed that you had gotten more silent and he laid his hand on top of yours, looking at you. You got out of the daze and looked at Tom, immediately meeting his blue eyes. He smiled sweetly at you and took your hand in his now. his thumb caressing the top of your hand. You felt your cheeks heat up. he wasn’t planning on letting your hand go anytime soon.

After an hour you all decided to go inside to watch a movie on his big tv screen. The cast started to bicker over what movie to watch while RDJ tapped you on your shoulder and hinted to walk with him. You walked in the hallway with him and he looked around. “what about that place?” he asked you while holding the painting. He nudged to the end of the hall where everyone could see it. “are you sure?” you giggled and he looked strict at you. “Look what you made! Of course I’m sure!” he told you dramatically which made you giggle. “Then it’s a beautiful place” you both hang the painting on the wall. RDJ took a selfie with you, him and the painting before returning to the group.

You sat next to Tom and Chris E. Tom smiled lovingly at you and softly placed his hand on your knee. There were mattresses laying on the floor where the other half of the cast laid down. RDJ had a very big couch so there was enough space for all of you. You snuggled against Tom who laid his arm around you pulling you closer. It didn’t take long before you grew very tired. The others felt the same, some left to go home like Paul Rudd, Mark R and Paul Bettany since they lived close by. a couple of others could stay in the guestrooms but you rather stay downstairs.

When everyone settled the TV still played some background noise. You were now laying with your back to Tom but turned around. Tom watched you intently, getting his arm a little of you so you could turn. You laid now face to face with Tom and he smiled softly once again at you and kissed the top of your head. Chris E softly petted your hair for relaxation. Tom held you close to him with his arms wrapped around you. You rested your head against his chest and fell into a deep sleep.

~time skip~

You were woken up abruptly by people shaking you awake. You shoot up sweating. Tears filling your eyes once you remembered the nightmare. You were breathing heavily and looked around erratically. Chris E shushed you while Tom held you tightly while rocking you back and forth. You were wet from all the sweating. “hey shs it was a nightmare. You’re okay now.” Chris E told you. Tom placed his lips on the top of your head while keeping a protected grip on you. “You were calling for your godfather.” Chris E told you. Anthony came back from the kitchen with a glass of water and gave it to you. You now saw how concerned they all looked. Seb rested his hand on your knee while his thumb rubbed drew circles. You thanked Anthony but you really didn’t liked all the attention you were getting right now. “sorry for waking you all up.” they chuckled slightly “Don’t worry about it, we’re here for you y/n” Seb said. You pushed the tears away and Tom noticed that you were keeping it all in again. “why don’t we go outside for a minute? I think some fresh air would do you good.” Tom asked you and you nodded.

You got up and whished them a goodnight sleep so they wouldn’t wait up. Tom got a blanket and walked behind you. once outside Tom placed you on a chair and you looked up at the stars feeling the tears slip. He took your hand in his. “what was the dream about?” he asked carefully. You told him about your dream while crying. You tried to let everything out. Once you were done Tom stood up without saying anything and stretched out his hand for you. You looked up questionable with puffy eyes. he gave you a warm smile and you took his hand. RDJ had a sort of bed outside. It was more for the pool but there was a mattress with curtains. You smiled at the thought of how good Tom knew you. You didn’t want to go inside anymore and he seemed to get that. Luckily it wasn’t very cold outside.

You sat down on the lounge bed. Tom pulled you a little back so you both sat against the headboard. “I never knew him, only from the stories you told me and I believe full heartedly that he is so unbelievable proud of you. Of the woman you became and becoming, everything that you did and overcame and still the things you are working on. We can all see that and we all have so much respect for you. You are a role model for a whole lot of people! It’s okay to feel these feelings but you need to keep talking about them.” You felt tears slipping. He wrapped the blanket around himself and then around you which made you scoot closer to him. “he’s watching over you. I’m sure and he’s looking over you with probably the biggest smile.” You both laid down and looked at the stars. “Thank you Tom. For being there for me every time.” He looked at you. “Of course love” you stared at the stars with teary eyes while Tom kept looking at you.

Once you calmed down you said: “Tom, you’re staring.” While keeping your gaze at the stars. He smiled. “you’re more beautiful to look at.” He bluntly told you. You never turned your head faster than in that moment. He just smiled softly at you while you screened his face. He laid his head closer to yours. “do you mean that?” you asked him softly while looking down shyly. “I never say something I don’t mean y/n” you stayed silent in disbelieve. “I eh really like you.” he told you with a blush creeping on his cheek. You looked deeply into his eyes. “I really like you too Tom.” He smiled and came closer until your lips connected. His hand rested on your cheek. He gave you the lead at the moment and you took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. He rolled partly on top of you while leaning on his elbow, his other hand now going to your waist and rubbed with his thumbs your side.

You both pulled back and heard Sebastian and Chris H and E scream “Finally!!!” before going back inside which made you both laugh in embarrassment. You laid down on his chest while Tom kissed the top of your head. “Do you maybe want to be my girlfriend?”  he asked carefully which made you chuckle at the way he asked you, like a teenager in love. “I would like that” you said while lifting your gaze to look up at him and gave him a big kiss on his lips which made Tom sigh through the kiss in containment.

~time skip~

You woke up from clicking. It sounded like someone was taking pictures. You squeezed your eyes shut tight because of the sun but saw Chris H taking pictures along side RDJ. “so we can show your kids once you get them.” RDJ said casually. You chuckled. Tom sighed getting out of his slumber his arm tightened around your middle scooting you closer. “Awa let’s give these lovebirds some time to wake up, we made you both some coffee.” Chris H told you while pointing towards the warm mugs. “Thank you.” You told them giggling a little. Once they left you turned around to face Tom. He still had his eyes closed and your fingers traveled along his facial features. “Good morning love” he told you still with his eyes closed but with a smile. “good morning handsome.” He opened his eyes and smiled lovingly at you while connecting your lips again. You cuddled into his side. “this is nice” you told him. “It really is. Now I don’t mind waking up” he told you which made you chuckle.

Once you both got up you all had breakfast together and decided it was a nice warm day to go swimming. Tom brought you home so you could pick up your stuff and off you went to the beach. You all laid down in the soft sand and chatted away and shared funny stories. You all decided to take a swim. Once in the boys started a water fight. Scarlett sat on the shoulders of Chris E and you were on the shoulder of Tom. You both tried to push each other off but both fell in the process. Now it was the turn of the boys. Sebastian on the shoulders of Chris E and Anthony on the shoulders of Chris H. It took a while but in the end Sebastian fell and Anthony cheered which made you giggle.

You started swimming a little with Tom by your side. You were on his back while he slowly swam back and forth. You got off of his back and put both of your legs around his waist and hugged him tightly. He grabbed your chin to give you a kiss. Once you both got a little tired of swimming you both got out and dried up.

After a nice day at the beach you were tired out. Especially because of the night before. Tom brought you home. “Tom…? Can you please stay with me tonight?” you asked him softly. “of course love, let me grab my stuff and I’ll be back in an hour” he told you and gave you a kiss before you got out of the car.

You in the meanwhile cleaned your house a little and made your bed and took a shower to get all the sand off of you. You were done just in time for Tom to come. You opened the door and you saw that he showered as well. then your sight fell on the bottle of wine he brought and a brown back. “I went to the store and got us some snacks.” You smiled and let him in. He put everything on your kitchen counter. You poured you both a generous amount of wine and plopped on the couch. You put on a movie for you both to watch. After you drank the wine and ate some snacks you became even more tired. “Let’s get you to bed.” Tom told you. He took your hand and turned off all the lights.

You both got ready for bed and got in. “Tom? Can you maybe read to me?” you asked him shyly but he knew his voice calmed you down and it wouldn’t be the first time that he would read for you. “of course sweetheart.” He started to read to you while you laid in his arms and you softly drifted off to fall asleep in yet another night terror.

You sat up suddenly, breathing heavy and once again sweating. Tom softly sat up next to you and rubbed your back. “I’m sorry.” You told him feeling guilty and out of breath. “It’s okay love really. Don’t worry about that I’m here for you” Once you regained a steady breathing he asked you “ Let’s take a shower okay?” you nodded and he took your hand and lead you to your own bathroom. “I’ll wait outside okay?” but the thought of being alone scared you a lot at this moment giving you an anxiety attack. “No Tom please stay.” You begged saying it a little too fast for your own liking. “I’m sorry if you feel comfortable with that.” You told him again and he gave you a soft smile.  You both stripped out of your clothes. “I can keep my underwear on if you’d like.” He told you not trying to make you feel uncomfortable in any situation. “No it’s fine, if you’re okay with it.” you told him and he nodded. He stripped out of his boxers and you out of your underwear.

You looked at each other but at the moment it wasn’t sexual but more for comfort. He stepped in the shower first and took your hand helping you in. you the shower on and Tom massaged your head you turned around and rested your head on his shoulder while he put his arms around you. You started to cry. You felt so safe that you had all the space for your feelings. Tom hushed you while giving kisses on your head. Trying to give you comfort. You stood there for a good while just hugging each other. When you calmed down you both got out and Tom dried you off. “You are absolutely gorgeous.” He told you kissing your shoulder. You looked up at him and you made eye contact. He slowly held your face in his hands and gave you a soft kiss that turned passionately. Before anything could go further you both stopped. He helped you in his shirt and got into bed again.

Everything he did, he did with so much care and love that it was something you’ve never experienced before and it was heavenly. You laid both face to face and just looked at each other. His thumb softly caressing your cheek. You both didn’t have to exchange words, everything said it all. You went with your fingers over his features again while looking in his eyes. It held so much love and adoration that it felt you up with love.  “forever” he said softly “forever you said back and he smiled. It said it all, you were both an open book for each other and it felt like you’ve read that book a hundreds of times and you knew each line. That was how good your connection was. An beautiful antique book with it’s wrinkles and faded lines. Handled with love and care and reading it over and over again never getting tired of the story as the letters danced on the pages.

You looked at Tom and you both kissed each other falling this time in a peaceful sleep in the arms of the man you love the most and he in the arms of the woman he loves the most.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddelston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #Tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston one shot #tom hiddleston oneshot #loki fanfic #tom hiddleston comfort

[elainevc]

please stay pt. 2

fem!reader x levi

⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️: Mentions of blood, vomit, low appetite, weight loss, illness, needles, angst

Please do not read if these themes are triggers. Your mental health is more important than stories on the internet. Please take care of yourself <3

Weeks had passed since Levi had confessed. Your health wasn't getting better, but it wasn't getting worse. So, he took that as a blessing.

Hange did experiments and tests every day. They discovered you had alba rheumatismus rulmonum; your lungs were slowly collapsing and you weren't healing because your body was too busy trying to get the nutritions you lacked.

She explained that it was common in women who lived inside wall Rose. Only thirty years ago was a cure developed. The disease practically disappeared after that.

But now that you were diagnosed, the cure was difficult to get a hold of. Erwin had to pull some very special strings to get the syringe in their hands. It was nerve-wracking to say the least, but you wanted to get better. The survey corps needed as many soldiers as they could get and you weren't about to roll over and be killed by a little coughing.

The finally came when the procedure would take place. The 104th cadets visited you in the morning to wish you good luck. Sasha made sure to show up with a bowl of soup from breakfast.

Before they left, Levi entered the room and shooed them out.

He walked over to your bedside and carefully grabbed your hand. His cold fingers traced over your skin.

"How are you feeling," he asked like he was almost afraid of the answer.

"Eh, could be worse. At least I'm not titan food." He smiled but it wasn't genuine. The air was tense as he got lost in his rhoughts.

His eyes had a far-away look in them as he stared at your intertwined hands. When you squeezed he met your gaze. You lifted your hand to cup his cheek and like a cat he leaned into your touch. You gently led him down to your face.

"Don't be so dramatic. It's not like I'm gonna die," you joke but he doesn't seem entertained.

He was only focused on your lips as he met your mouth to his. It was soft and tender and you could feel how much emotion he was trying to convey. Levi always struggled to express his feelings and you were aware of this.

Just as you were about to start moving, he pulled away.

"Promise me you'll stay," he nearly pleaded with you. He was desperate. You smiled and nodded. Like hell you were going to leave him all by himself.

It was strange watching the seemingly emotionless captain breakdown in front of you. You knew better than anyone that he did in fact care about his comrades and he just struggled to express that.

"Hey," you spoke softly with your fingers pulling his chin up to face you, "I'm not gonna leave you."

He took in a long breath to settle his nerves and nodded.

Erwin and Hange entered quietly, a small box tucked under the section commander's arm. She began preparing the injection while Erwin walked over to you.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm ready to get this over with so I can get back out in the field."

Erwin hummed in response. His brows were furrowed in thought. Despite your long-standing friendship with him, the commander still found a way to make you nervous. Or maybe it was your body preparing for the next few days of hell. Either way, his gaze was frightening and you found yourself gripping Levi's hand a little.

Hange walked over with gloves on and the needle ready for you.

You forced yourself to put on a brave face and roll up your sleeve. They wiped your skin down and meet your eyes. The needle was inches from your skin but felt like it was already in.

They slowly pierced the skin and flushed the syringe dry of... whatever was inside.

It didn't feel any different. She pulled away and returned to the box to clean the supplies. Erwin placed a patch of thin gauze over the injection.

Levi helped you stand and led you to your room. You all agreed it would be best to go through the side effects in a comfortable environment. The cadets had helped move some buckets and what-not into the room earlier that morning.

You sat on your bed carefully and Levi stayed standing in front of you. He watched you sway a little as you felt fatigue grab a hold of you.

He knelt down so he was eye level with you. His steel blue irises stared intently at you. Neither of you spoke for a long moment before he decided to put his hand on the side of your face.

His fingers tickled your ear and his palm was warm against your cheek. You moved forward slightly to meet him.

Your lips connected with his in a soft, tender kiss. It was passionate as he tried to convey everything he was feeling in one single moment. He tasted like black tea and you found yourself loving that.

The two of you separated but he leaned in again to kiss your forehead sweetly.

You felt like you could melt right then and there.

"Geg some sleep brat. You don't need to feel any worse tomorrow." You grinned up at him. He didn't mean for it to be funny but he enjoyed your smile nonetheless.

You moved to get comfortable and fell asleep quickly under the covers. Levi sat in an armchair tucked in the corner. He never got much sleep anyway so staying up to make sure you would be okay wasn't a problem to him.

The night passed uneasily. The medication was starting to sink in and your body was becoming more uncomfortable every hour. You tossed and turned relentlessly but never once woke from your sleep.

Levi stood and poked your cheek. You stirred a little but didn't wake. He poked you again until you opened your eyes and looked at him.

"Come on, you need to eat something."

The covers were too warm to leave their safe embrace so you simply curled into them more. Levi rolled his eyes at you and left the room to prepare your breakfast.

He knew you appreciated a cup of tea when you didn't feel good.

The kitchen was oddly silent and Levi wondered where the cadets had gone. Sasha must have already had her breakfast if she wasn't in the kitchen at the moment.

Levi carried the tray of food back to your room, but when he entered your bed was empty.

The sound of gagging came from the bathroom. He set the tray down and hurried to your side. You were hunched over a bucket hurling your innards out. Yeah this was Levi, and he was obviously grossed out by the vomit, but a part of him still wanted to kneel by your side and comfort you.

He decided on a happy medium of pulling your hair back (or rolling up your sleeves if you don't have hair or wear a cap) and resting a hand on your back.

You finished shortly after and cleaned your mouth. It was safe to say you weren't hungry any more.

You returned to the bed as a sudden wave of heat hit your body. Sweat formed on your skin and threatened to drip down your face.

"Levi.. can I get a cold cloth," you ask quietly.

He nods and comes back to your side with a brown towel. He adjusts it on your forehead and instantly feel better. You cough a little to clear your throat, but this sends you into a coughing fit.

You sit up and continue into your arm. The familar taste of iron fills your mouth and soon the inside of your sleeve is coated with blood.

Fuck, this was going to be a shitty week.

The next few days were filled with your constant changing temperature and occasional vomitting. Hange assured Levi that this was the normal process and that you would get better soon. He didn't believe it entirely, or maybe that was just his cynical side.

Your thinning frame and pale skin reminded him too much of his mom. You barely ate anything and couldn't get out of bed most of the time. The bucket seemed to always be in use.

Levi hated watching you like this. He hated seeing you fall apart in front of him and that there was nothing he could do about it.

He knew that the best thing to do was to trust Hange and Erwin buf that was harder than he thought. His trust dwindled the worse you got and the two of them knew he was nervous. They saw the way he looked at your sleeping form, the way he hurried to fulfill any sudden need of yours.

It was all too unsure for him to be relaxed.

The day you stood from your bed on your own was the day he felt his heart beat a little faster.

The day you were able to walk without assistance made him want to run to you and pick up. He wanted to twirl you around in one swift motion and hold your body close to his.

The day you ate 3 whole meals was the day Levi made a promise to himself.

He promised himself to never let you go and to keep you safe until the moment he dies. He promised to protect you and never see you hurt ever again.

He wanted you to stay with him and be his forever.

That was all he wanted after that.

#levi angst #levi ackerman #snk levi #aot levi #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #captain levi #attack on titan levi #levi ackermann #levi fluff #snk angst

[animeyanderelover]

Can I get headcanons for Kurapika with a darling who gets hurt and he finds them limping back to the house, a dead body nearby. But when they see him the just breakdown and tell him they don't mean to be outside they were almost kidnapped. They'll go back inside just don't hurt them like the person did. And they just want comfort from Kurapika?

The dead body is, or to be clear was the kidnapper right?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, overprotevtiveness, kidnapping, blood, s/o killing someone, vicious behavior, blood

Nearly kidnapped

⛓Okay, the chances of Kurapika leaving his darling are a bit more low given the fact that he is terrified that something might happen to them if they’re left alone and he isn’t with them. He doesn’t let them too much out in the first place to lower the risks of them hurting themselves or getting attacked by someone. So if he does have to leave, he tries to finish whatever he is doing as fast as possible only to rush back to his s/o afterwards, he is paranoid and scared 24/7 when he isn’t with them.

⛓Let’s just say that when he finds the dead body of a person too close to the house he keeps you in, he has a breakdown as well, fear creeping up his heart and making his breath go erratic and cause him to break out in cold sweat, imagining the worst. He just runs afterwards, runs whilst praying for whoever is up there and watching to not do this to him, to not take you away from him as well.

⛓And when he finally sees his darling, covered in blood and limping back to his house, he honestly feels like his heart has just gone dead, feeling like all warmth has just left his body, leaving him with only horrendous coldness. On the bright side you’re not dead, but you’re still hurt, something Kurapika sweared you not let happen. What are you even doing outside?! What happened?! Who was the corpse?! He is less angry than he is horrified and scared, not understanding what happened, only understanding that if he wouldn’t have left you it have hurried up, he might have been able to stop all of this.

⛓He needs answers, badly. Kurapika just has to know what happened so he can make sure it won’t happen again. But the most important thing right now is making sure that his s/o is alright, that he can attend to their wounds and nurse them back to help. He has a meltdown in that moment, fear and paranoia clouding his ability to judge properly and he just storms to his darling, needing to know that they’re fine, not hurt too badly and to try to calm them down and reassure them after whatever happened, though he just needs to be calmed down just as badly.

⛓However, the sudden mental breakdown his darling has shocks him in the most negative senses the moment they are being turned around by him, whole body shaking and voice trembling and raised whilst hastily asking what happened and if they’re fine, already having started to check over all the places where blood is staining the fabric of their shirt. Kurapika himself is on the verge of tears, vision blurry to all the tears whilst trying to tell his darling that it’s fine, that he’s now here and that he won’t be angry with them, they just have to tell him what happened.

⛓The way his darling just clings onto him, refusing to let go, sobbing and crying harshly whilst explaining themselves, that they didn’t want to be outside, that they were almost kidnapped and ended up killing someone in the process, that they just want to go back inside and want Kurapika to stay, pleading him to not hurt him for this. It makes Kurapika’s mind go deadly quiet and blank for a moment, too much to take in all so suddenly. That is before he snaps, a seething and infuriated frenzy taking over his senses, accompanied from wailing fear that someone managed to go that far despite all the preparations he’s made to keep you safe. He was not there to protect you, you got hurt because of him and on top of that you had to kill someone, putting you through unnecessary trauma. How can he call himself your protector when he couldn’t even be there for you?!

⛓He just guides his darling quickly back to the small cottage, carrying them since he is too paranoid to let them walk on their own and as soon as he’s back, he instantly bandages and cleans all wounds, feeling not safe in the four walls of this house anymore. And afterwards he stays with them, not wanting to leave their side anymore and it’s not like his darling would want to let him either, not after what happened. Hard to say who is trying to seek for more comfort in that moment, the incident leaving both parts filled with fear and trauma, though Kurapika takes all the blame on this for not having done more.

⛓The blonde apologizes over and over again to his darling, both entangled in each other’s embrace and desperately wanting to calm down in the warmth of each other. Kurapika might have started crying by now as well, not being able to stop all the brewing emotions from inside of him. The knowledge that he might have nearly lost everything again is too much to carry for him whilst staying composed. He just needs in that moment to feel you and your beating heart against his, the reassurance that you’re here.

⛓He won’t let this happen again, he swears it or otherwise he will punish himself. It is still clear for him that he has to change places and move away, thinking that if one person already found the house, others will do as well and for as long as his darling is still in the process of healing, he won’t leave them either and even after they fully heal, he is even more iffy to leave for too long, flashbacks constantly hunting him.

⛓It becomes a nightmare, literally. What might have happened if you wouldn’t have fought that hard? Would you have died? Such thoughts let his deepest fears take their full power over him in his sleep, gruesome images flashing in his sleep right before his eyes and letting him see the worst. It never ceases to habe him shooting up from the bed, heart beating like crazy and body covered in sweat, instantly looking next to him to see you unharmed next to him, though this is only able to calm him a bit down. This might have really happened if you wouldn’t have been so strong that day, needing to fight on your own because he hadn’t been there. He won’t let it happen again. Ever. Only the memories might lead his eyes to start glowing.

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere kurapika #yandere kurapika kurta

[pietrosskinnyjeans]

The one where you comfort him

It had been just under 2 months since the battle of Sokovia, when I had used my healing abilities to bring Pietro Maximoff back to life.  Before this, I had only healed mild wounds, cuts and sprains, so after the shock of realising I was able to resurrect, my god complex was at an all time high. Pietro and his sister weren’t all too fond of me to begin with, given the destruction my father’s weapons had brought upon their lives. However, they certainly warmed up to me after I saved Pietro. I’m not all that mad about it though, I mean, who doesn’t love a good ol’ enemies to lovers trope? I know this isn’t wholly appropriate to think, considering that he is my teammate and dating him would cause a plethora of issues. But, he’s a 6 foot tall, blue eyed boy with an 8 pack and a slavic accent, how could I not think about such things?

 Adjusting to American life as avengers hadn’t been easy for the twins, but I’d like to think that I was helpful as possible, introducing them to American traditions and assisting them in improving their English. Although, regardless of any of my actions, or any of the teams’, it was apparent Pietro wasn’t adjusting all that well. Wanda had mentioned to me he had quite a reputation in Sokovia, and was anything but introverted, yet here it appeared that he had completely retreated into his shell. I mean, can’t really blame him though, if I was resurrected I think I would have gone through a full scale mental breakdown, wondering whether my life had meaning, and whether I was meant to be revived in the first place. Oh, and he was also living with the person who invented the things which were responsible for his parents death, so that probably wasn't very fun. 

 Wanda had gone out to pick up the takeaway we were having for dinner with Natasha, Clint and Steve. Whilst it may have seemed a little excessive to bring 4 people to pick up takeaway to anyone else, you must be reminded how much food it takes to take to feed a team of ‘enhanced individuals’ as the government calls us. I mean, Pietro can eat 5 whole pizzas on his own without breaking a sweat. 

 Bruce and my dad were in the lab, so I went looking for my favourite wannabe Guy Fieri so I wasn’t standing around the compound by myself like a sad loner (I mean seriously, with that hair he could be a Vegas impersonator or something (perhaps a future career to pursue if this whole ‘avengers thing’ doesn’t work out??)). 

 I walked towards his bedroom and knocked lightly, not wanting to waltz into his room unannounced. He opened the door, the somber impression that was present on his face fading rather quickly, and was replaced by a false sense of content. 

 ‘Hey princeza, you want to come into my room?’ he said playfully, a small smirk forming on his lips. 

 ‘Sure I don’t mind, just wanted someone to talk to. Everyone is either in the lab or going to get food.’ I stated rather bluntly, butterflies appearing once I noticed how close he was to me. 

 He opened the door wider and gestured for me to enter his room. I entered and immediately noticed The Dick Van Dyke Show playing on his TV. ‘odd choice’ I thought to myself. 

 ‘Didn’t take you as someone who liked watching old American sitcoms, Pietro’ I said, chuckling slightly

 At my remark, his face dropped slightly, as he stared reminiscently at the TV. 

 I looked at him, and realised tears were beginning to well in his eyes. 

 ‘Are you ok?’ I asked, to which he cleared his throat and responded 

with ‘fine’  rather harshly. 

 Instinctively, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, to which he failed to shake off, and began to speak, starting to sense what the matter was. 

 ‘ Hey, I know you’ve had to be strong for the longest time. You’ve had to be there to protect your sister, comfort her, and suppress your own feelings in the process.  But listen to me when I say this, Piet, you don’t have to be so strong anymore. You no longer have to suppress all these emotions you feel. You have Clint, Nat, the whole team. I momentarily averted my gaze, before staring into his sapphire eyes once more. You have me. 

 Tears welled in his eyes, and I was quickly pulled into his chest. My heart ached for him as he clung to me tightly whilst sobbing. I began to lightly rub his back with one hand, and stroked his hair gently with the other, softly muttering ‘its ok, you're safe with me’. 

 I know, I know, it all seems very cringe worthy. But honestly, I was just proud that I wasn’t laughing. You see, I'm not all that good at comforting others. 

 After a moment, he sniffled and gently pulled away, eyes puffy. 

I smiled gently at him, and stroked his cheek, in an attempt to provide some comfort. 

‘I'll be there to listen if you want to talk. No matter what time it is, where we are, come and find me. To remind you that after everything that has happened, you’re finally safe. And, whilst the events of the past cannot be erased, to remind you that you’re going to be ok. Because you don’t have to suffer alone anymore.’ 

‘Princeza, that sounds like something in one of those stupid American movies’ He said, laughing heartily whilst wiping his tears. 

‘I was trying to be comforting!!’ I exclaimed, my smile mirroring his

‘Yes, well, maybe don't do that again, because it was really, really bad’ He chuckled once more before seeing a slight pout evident on my lips, following up his previous remark with a ‘ok, ok  I am joking.. It was pretty cute.’ 

“Aha! I knew it!!’ I shouted, whilst playfully slapping his arm

We were silent for a moment, before he moved himself closer to me and shifted his gaze from my eyes to my lips ( which honestly made me feel like I was about to have a goddamn heart attack ). He continued to close the distance between us, and placed a passionate yet gentle kiss on my lips. 

He pulled away, and noticed my visibly shocked impression (honestly, at this moment I was just thinking how dead I was gonna be when my dad found out. But also like !!! he kissed me!! )

‘What? You didn’t see that coming?’ He said playfully

 ‘You know, you really need to get a new catchphrase. Because that one, is absolutely horrible.’ I said, before I leaned in for another kiss.

 Note: So i’ve never rlly written anything before so this is probably not the best. But, I was bored and didn’t want to study so here we are. Lmk if there are any ways I can improve !!

#pietro maximoff #pietro #marvel #mcu #age of ultron #aou #pietro x reader #pietro x y/n #wanda maximoff #maximoff twins #pietrooneshot #pietro fluff #pietroangst #pietro maximoff fluff #pietro maximoff angst