#it has the same issues as many of my other profiles that it's still lacking on the hogwarts info and the stories are still uncertain

[potionboy3]

Character profile

► basics; Full Name: Angelo della Rovere Birthday: 23rd of June 18xx Pronouns: he/him Sexual Orientation: Bi Hogwarts House: Slytherin Blood Status: pureblood Nationality: Italian Personality type: ENFP

Personality: Angelo is curious by nature. He’s good at studying but often leaves things to run on their own course, waiting to see what happens. He’s the youngest child, baby sunshine of the family and it shows on how he seeks attention and validation.  Angelo is really a combination of his two siblings. He has a quick temper, and he thinks highly of himself. He wants to do great in life and to have glory. Still being the youngest child with no certain future plans has made him secretly very insecure and afraid. He is not as graceful as his siblings either and has a great tendency for clumsiness. Angelo usually expects to be liked and it bothers him if people don’t. He can first come across as smug and a little annoying with his tendencies to talk about his family’s special history and wealth. Once you get to know him, you’ll see that he’s very caring and often on a good mood which reflects on other people around him. He also has a big heart, even if he doesn’t show it to everyone.

► magical info;

Wand: Silver Lime wood with a dragon heartstring core, 14 ¼ and quite flexible flexibility

"This unusual and highly attractive wand wood was highly fashionable in the nineteenth century. Demand outstripped supply, and unscrupulous wandmakers dyed substandard woods in an effort to fool purchasers into believing that they had purchased silver lime. The reasons for these wands' desirability lay not only in their unusually handsome appearance, but also because they had a reputation for performing best for Seers and those skilled in Legilimency, mysterious arts both, which consequently gave the possessor of a silver lime wand considerable status.  

Patronus: White stallion

Proud, majestic, and often stubborn. Witches and wizards who produce a white stallion patronus know they are strong and can strike awe into many of their peers. They are confident and know exactly what the limit to their powers are, but that wont stop them from showing off what they can do.

If you conjure the white stallion you are more than likely a very strong willed person. The white stallion may be produced by a proud being, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t humble. Those who call the white stallion their patronus will defend their friends and families honor with extreme dedication.

Patrounus memory: A memory when he was a child. Agata gave him a little rose gem to keep in his pocket for good luck, he keeps it around every day.

Boggart: People around him turning on him and hating him.

Specialized/Favourite spells:  Lumos Solem, he does this trick while dueling where he tries to dazzle the opponent first.

► background;

Place of Birth: Florence, Italy

Home: Palazzo Della Rovere, hidden from muggles, later London, Agata’s apartment.

Little history of the Della Rovere’s in the wizarding society:

Della Rovere’s were thought to have ended their family line in Vittoria Della Rovere (1694) who married into de’ Medici family and the titles became extinct with the extinction of the House of Medici with the death of her grandson Gian Gastone de’ Medici, Grand Duke of Tuscany in 1737. The family line continued how ever in secret as they were almost reveled to the muggles for being wizards. They left Rome and Urbino and created a hidden home in Florence, following in Vittoria’s footsteps. With time they were wiped from the lives of the muggle’s but stayed well known and wealthy as well as more powerful than ever in their wizarding society. They would later be known as just Rovere’s

Childhood:

Angelo was born around 20 years later than his other siblings. He was a happy surprise to the family and everyone treated him like a little prince. His older sister Agata adored him and his brother Achille was always there to protect him when he was younger. When he was still very young, Agata moved to live in London and it made the child who saw her as some what of an idol very sad. The parents spoiled all of their children and Angelo was used to getting what he wanted. He still managed to grow a great appreciation for nature around him and had a soft spot for creatures. He liked to make people around him laugh. At some point he started to be the child who would protect those younger than him. He loves horses but is very bad at riding because of his clumsiness. He often had odd dreams that often happen to come true.

► physical;

Faceclaim: Giorgio Belli Eye Color: Dark brown Hair Color: Black Height: 6,1 feet/ 185cm

Story:

Like his siblings, Angelo was home schooled. He didn’t feel like it was the right environment for him as he loved to be around other people and he was jealous of his friends for attending actual school. He was bored at staying still and wished to see the world outside Italy. He decided to his parents’ disappointment to ask for a chance to attend Hogwarts and to go live with his sister in London. Eventually the permission was granted.

► relatives;

Father: Francesco Maria IV della Rovere Head of the Della Rovere family at the time of Angelo’s birth. He wanted his children to be happy and marry who ever they wanted to (as long as they’re pureblood) as he did himself but after Agata decided not to marry Ezra Greenaway, he grew angry and judged her choice. He decided to make a different call for his other children and began arranging marriages to his own liking that would present the family in the right way. Neither Achille or Angelo were bothered by his plans as they were promised to get some say in the matter. It backfired for Angelo later in life…

Mother: Teresa Miani

Teresa came from a less wealthy pureblood family. Her family had lost their wealth when she met her future husband. He chose to marry her anyway. Angelo got along better with his mother than father. When he later fell in love, he begged for his mother to side with her on the matter but she was hesitant.

Sister: Agata della Rovere Even while being away from Angelo for most of his childhood’s determine years, him and Agata grew close, and she adored him. Later in life when he moved to live with her, she was a big part on raising him.  He thinks his sister is the most brilliant person to exist. The two may argue sometimes but mostly see eye to eye in life. She wants him to decide on things for himself like she has done in life and it bothers her how easily Angelo still falls for the family’s responsibilities and how he can easily minimize his own needs in order to please others.

Brother:  Achille della Rovere After Agata left Italy, the second oldest child Achille was named the heir. He was sly and quick tempered. Achille and Angelo had a difficult relationship where he would often tease his younger brother and call him too soft. Whenever Agata would come to visit, Angelo would side with her when she and Achille would quibble about nonsense and it annoyed Achille greatly. Through all this if Angelo was ever in real danger, Achille would always choose to help him and protect him. 

► relationships;

Love interests:  Georgiana Parson @unfortunate-arrow​ STORY TO BE UPDATED

Friends:

OPEN FOR FRIENDS 

Allegiances: The Della Rovere family, Slytherin house

► misc;

Hobbies & Extracurriculars: Riding, although he’s bad at it, duelling

Favourite Subject: Charms, divination

Professions: To be updated

#Angelo della Rovere #hphl #character profile mine #I will update this profile greatly in the future but this is the draft version that has the basic info #it has the same issues as many of my other profiles that it's still lacking on the hogwarts info and the stories are still uncertain #I am also still thinking about his future career #OPEN FOR FRIENDS AND DOORM MATES! #Hope there aren't huge mistakes

[psychewritesbs]

I was reading your post about the megumi character trope and this is related but not?

Anyways, as someone who likes both sasuke and megumi, and I've come to like sasuke recently as I've finally checked out naruto, but it's bizarre to me how superficial their similarities are and it's crazier how people reduce their characters to their aloofness or dar hair or things like that and use that as a way to judge a character overall when their character arcs are so different imo. I have issues with how sasuke's character was handled in the story, but I've become very fond of the things he did for the story overall, so no problem for me, but I'm not sure megumi's arc will end or proceed any similiar to sasuke's with revenge as the main motivation, or at least I don't think so, I'm a couple chaps behind, but yeah, the way both characters process their own trauma or how their motivations are different enough for me to ignore the superficial ways in which they are similiar

I say it's also tough liking both in fandom spaces because naruto is still really popular and jjk is in the spotlight currently, so fandoms can be tense with each other and it's exhausting to see the slander going every which way lol

They say this as a way to slander mgm, but the "Megumi will never be sasuke" is funny because I don't think he's trying to be???

HOLA!

WELCOME to THE ULTIMATE SHONEN BATTLE FOR THE BEST "QUIET AND ALOOF DEUTERAGONIST-KUN": MEGUMI VS SASUKE!

Who's better? Well... let's ask the internet...

ok nvm. NEVER ask the internet for an opinion. ESPECIALLY when the Naruto fans who think Kishimoto is the mother of all anime tropes get involved.

This isn't even a question of whether Gege took inspiration from Sasuke for Megumi because 1) Sasuke himself takes inspiration from a Togashi character and, 2) "quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun" is one of the most prevalent tropes in animanga--the trope is not even unique to shonen, hell even the 3-man team isn't unique to Naruto.

Nothing against Kishi but... he's doing the same thing every mangaka or author EVER has done--copying tropes.

At least Gege subverts them.

Let's taco'bout it more under the cut because I have many words to vomit about the topic.

Also... man, this is a fantastic conversation to have because, based on the comments I've seen about why Sasuke is "objectively" better, I feel like it comes back to a lack of introspection, dare I say toxic masculinity (?), and perhaps just not understanding or relating to Megumi as a character.

I've written before about Megumi's character development and how relating to him has a lot to do with how deeply you can be introspective about yourself. I won't address character development much here, so if you want to, you can read that post here.

But when it comes to Megumi vs. Sasuke, it's almost like comparing apples to oranges. Yes, they're both fruit (quiet and aloof deuteragonist-kun), AND they also have a different flavor profile, different texture, different scent... the list goes on.

And the way I see it, if someone can't see how the differences between Sasuke and Megumi make them fundamentally different despite sharing the same trope, then they can't "objectively" claim one is better than the other.

So I'm going to go ahead and just say it.

I don't like Sasuke. I never did and I never understood why he was so popular.

The comments about Megumi having the depth of a kiddie pool?

I feel the exact same about Sasuke.

I literally can't think of much to say about him other than he was pissy and had a sour attitude the whole time... umm... he wanted revenge and power... ? I guess?

And you know what? It's perfectly ok that I don't like Sasuke because my subjective opinion does not mean that someone who loves Sasuke is wrong about loving him. After all, my opinion should not be a measuring stick for someone who loves Sasuke.

In fact, I have moots who think very highly of Sasuke AND Megumi, and like them for different reasons. So I actually try to refrain from speaking negatively of Sasuke because I respect my moot's opinions and know that perhaps I am not seeing something they can.

That said, when we compare Sasuke and Megumi, we're measuring the characters against standards that don't apply to either of them.

Since Sasuke is on a revenge character arc, you can't really talk about how he explores his sense of self in order to re-define it (which is one of the main reasons I love Megumi). Sasuke wants power, but that just means he has to train harder.

Megumi does go the training route, but in the end, perhaps it was a moment of clarity and introspection that helped him level up, not just the physical training.

Likewise, since Megumi is on an arc meant to re-define his sense of self, you can't really talk about how he went about seeking power to reach his goal because Megumi is not interested in power for the sake of power, and/or does not have grandiose aspirations.

As you say, their motivations couldn't be more different.

Now, I think it bears repeating that when I started watching jjk, even though I liked him right from the beginning, I thought Megumi was underwhelming af given his trope.

But that's only because, again, I was measuring Megumi against the wrong standards.

In retrospect, I also do feel like Gege wanted Megumi to be perceived as "underwhelming given his trope" (MOST ESPECIALLY SASUKE imo), otherwise the payoff in chapter 58 would not have had the same impact.

So anyways.

To your point. Existing at the intersection of these two fandoms must be an interesting experience because most of the bad comparisons are rooted on surface level similarities.

Thing is, being able to see the nuance between the two characters and why neither is objectively better than the other, does require the ability to read below the surface AND to at least have a certain degree of emotional investment in the story and the characters.

Also, can I just say fandom wars are so pointless?

It's just a bunch of people who can't handle the idea that other people could have a different opinion because they see their opinion as the ultimate truth.

And don't let me act like I'm not the kind of pretentious asshat who will say something like "Megumi is a purposeful deconstruction but Aki is a copy" because I can be quite elitist myself. I just also don't take my opinion too seriously because I know I don't own the ultimate truth about what is and isn't good media.

Also I like to indulge in trash tv like every normal human being in this planet so that alone makes my taste questionable.

To that point, I saw a really good quote that is so relevant to your ask:

The price for certainty means that other people must be wrong. And that leads to holy war.

Lionel Corbett

"uwu Megumi is weak"

But... there's something that has been nagging me about why people don't like Megumi in general that is highly related to how his predecessors, Sasuke included, set the bar we use to measure the trope, most specifically in Battle Shonen.

And that's that the way me measure what makes Megumi a good character is based on toxic masculinity values.

Now... I'm not an expert on the topic, so please correct me if I'm wrong or need to expand my perspective here but...

There's something inherently "toxic" about how people are approaching both Megumi independently of Sasuke, and Megumi compared to Sasuke.

Like... if Sasuke wouldn't curl up in a ball because he's had to experience a traumatic event and instead just keeps on going, that's called repression and/or suppression and it's both not a healthy coping mechanism AND not realistically written.

So what if Sasuke would never?

Why is it wrong for a character (or a real human for that matter) to feel so defeated after the trauma they've had to face?

I am more interested in learning why we are so obsessed with looking down on a fictional character for feeling down on himself... like, Momo, are you ok, dude?

Do you ever allow yourself to feel all your feels or do you just berate yourself when you feel down on yourself?

And why are we measuring trauma on a scale of who has it worse just so that we can cancel someone else's trauma?

Actually, the fact that we can sit here and talk about who has it best and who has it worse like it's a competition?

That's gaslighting, and it's toxic af.

But again. The problem is that jjk fans themselves hate on Megumi independently of whether they compare him to Sasuke or not.

And I'm not sure whether kin here just has shitty reading comprehension skills, but...

I'm noticing a trend that has EVERYTHING to do with my female gaze and it's the fact that I kind of don't give a fuck about power scaling.

Like, it's cool. I'm not hating on people who do, you know. I'm just saying I don't care for it. But what I'm trying to say here is that people hate on Megumi for weird reasons...

Like... I don't think Hyena here is reading the same manga if he can't tell that Megumi has had character development, unless what he expects in terms of character development is...

Which is fine too... I loved dbz back in the day.

Who could ever forget Goku looking like he has to poop so bad his hair grows really long?

But like... are we fucking for real? JJK is far too nuanced to limit your experience of the manga to flashy fights and power ups only.

Again, if this is the standard we are using to measure Megumi as a character, no wonder people are disappointed.

So I say let them eat cake.

No shade to all of the people who I screenshotted here, but they're going to have to come up with smarter arguments to back up their subjective opinions about Sasuke's supposed objective superiority and why Megumi sucks.

In all honesty, the fact that Megumi is perceived as weak strikes me as toxic masculinity.

I get that some people read fiction to escape from their daily lives and not have to face the failures and successes they experience in the real world, but I personally want more human characters who fail and cry because that's more relatable to me than Goku's super powered instinct Saiyan form or whatever its called.

I guess we all read for different reasons. All I'm saying is "don't hate on Megumi for shortsighted reasons."

To bring it back to where it all started, let's be real here:

Megumi will NEVER be Sasuke

and that is fantastic news because Megumi is Megumi and that's exactly why we love him.

Dear anon, I think I went on a rant there hahahaha.

BAH! I just get so annoyed when people hate on Megumi for shallow reasons. Like, if you don't like him, you don't like him and that's that. But like some of the comments about him are just...

LOL!

Thank you for stopping by anon!

#fushiguro megumi #god i love jujutsu kaisen #fushiguro megumi lovers unite #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, 16yo girl here. I had been questioning what my MBTI type was between ENTP and INTP for quite a long time - I had known that Ti and Ne were always at the top of my stack, but not which one was stronger... until yesterday, when I reflected back on my sheltered upbringing and I came to the conclusion that I was an ENTP, just one with very marked introvert tendencies and possible developmental delays due to combination of a stifled dominant function and possibly autism.

That stifling of Ne is also probably why I have only become more reclusive as time went on - I spent most of my time as a child either at school, the same small private school I've been going to since 1st grade, or at home, mostly on my computer. While in the surface my time on the internet allowed me to have easy access to novelty, it is still doing the same thing over and over again on a grander scale.

Meanwhile, I never managed to truly "fit in" at school, and after starting to make amends with my old friends at the end of sixth grade the pandemic happened, which pretty much meant that the only thing I'd be doing for two years was basically staring at screens all day. Once I returned back to school, I started feeling 'othered' again, and even as I found out it was partially over my own immaturity, I still feel like I will not actually become part of the group right now, that I should just grind it out until it ends, that college, due to the new environment and size will be the time I'll truly begin to shine - further proven by how excited I was when I went to one of the unis I was considering's open day recently.

Meanwhile, my ISTJ mother won't stop comparing me negatively to my brother and on how he was so similar to her in personality compared to me, always implying that I turned out "off" in some way or another, even if she's usually well-meaning.

Thoughts?

-----------------------

I don't guess at type. You've only speculated about one possible function, which is nowhere near enough info to draw any kind of sound conclusion. I generally won't comment on type assessment unless people follow the instructions on the contact page to submit a proper profile of themselves. In short, I won't have any "thoughts" if you don't give me enough to analyze.

You've basically described typical adolescent adjustment issues that anyone of any type can suffer. It is not uncommon for teens to have trouble fitting in. Why? Because they are still in the process of learning good social skills. When you're at the "beginner" level of learning anything, your ideas tend to be very primitive or crude. Thus, from the teenage perspective, socializing often boils down to the idea of "approval", which is taken to mean EITHER be like everyone else OR be an outsider.

Either/or thinking is a form of illogical thinking that creates a false dichotomy, essentially reducing your world to only two possibilities. You said that not being able to find your group right now, maybe it would be better to just leave it until college - once again, your world only has two possibilities. This kind of oversimplified thinking is normal in children and teens, but it is considered a sign of cognitive immaturity in adults (as their thinking hasn't evolved since adolescence). It's not something for you to be concerned about but, rather, something to be aware of and gradually improved upon.

When compared to full-formed adults, young people (<25) are limited in several ways:

They lack life experience, so they haven't had enough time to learn all the knowledge and skills they need to live life well.

They lack cognitive resources to understand complexity because the brain hasn't reached physical maturity yet.

They lack emotional resources to cope with difficulty because the brain is still feeling the effects of changes that began in puberty.

They might also lack confidence due to too many environmental factors being out of their control.

They might also lack direction due to not having access to enough learning resources they need for self-development.

They might also lack purpose due to not having enough access to positive role models, guides, or mentors to help them see the bigger picture of life.

I mention these things not to make teens feel shamed and ashamed for what they naturally lack, but to make them aware of where their potential lies. Your "weaknesses" are just as important for realizing your greater human potential as your "strengths". Weaknesses make plenty of room for learning, development, change, growth, evolution, and transformation... BUT this is assuming you know how to confront weaknesses in the right way. So, reflect: How have you responded to your weaknesses, as signaled through your mistakes and failures?

How do you respond to lack of life experience? Do you keep it that way by locking yourself away? Do you waste your time with trivial experiences? Do you seek out meaningful learning experiences?

How do you respond to lack of cognitive resources for understanding complexity? Do you just reduce everything into oversimplistic ideas? Do you avoid complex situations? Do you study them to grow your understanding? Do you get help for understanding them?

How do you respond to lack of emotional resources for handling difficulty? Do you numb yourself? Do you run or escape from negative feelings? Do you seek appropriate help and support? Do you set out to learn healthy coping skills and strategies?

How do you respond to lack of confidence? Do you shit-talk yourself more and more? Do you write off your future? Do you assert more independence? Do you take more control whenever possible? Do you improve your knowledge, skills, and capabilities?

How do you respond to lack of direction? Do you give up on yourself? Do you resign yourself to the status quo? Do you learn how to make better decisions for yourself? Do you learn how to set and achieve more fulfilling goals?

How do you respond to lack of purpose? Do you settle for less? Do you resign yourself to being small? Do you ignore existential pain? Do you seek answers? Do you set higher aspirations? Do you commit yourself to greater ideals?

Adjustment issues are very likely to get expressed through auxiliary development problems. Since you're unsure about your type, the most I can say is that healthy Ti encourages people to 1) analyze and learn from mistakes/failures, and 2) identify and acquire the knowledge/skills required to eventually succeed. If your response to failure is dismissal, evasion, withdrawal, or avoidance, it means you are choosing to get stuck at a low level of competency indefinitely.

If you are able to get past the beginner level in socializing, you'll start to realize the false dichotomy and how self-sabotaging it really is. Socializing is much more nuanced and complex than "insider vs outsider", and there are more options available than "conform vs rebel". This raises the question of what other options are available to you - it is a question for your Ne to answer.

Yes, it's true that you can't be friends with everyone. But you don't need to be friends with everyone, do you? You only need a handful of close friends who understand you in order to have a satisfying social life. They don't have to come from school or the usual places. They can come through other activities. They can come from all demographics or backgrounds.

Growing up in a small environment puts you in danger of thinking too small all the time. The key is you have to recognize that the world is a big place, so you have to start putting yourself out there to find the friends of best fit. The more people you meet, the more you increase your odds of success. Whether you try now or later isn't the right point to focus on. You're not going to find what you're looking for as long as: you don't actually get up to look, you have absolutely no system or plan for proceeding, and/or you don't have the skills to keep relationships even when you do find good people. You need real-life social experience if you want to improve your social skills. The sooner you get started, the better. It's unrealistic to think that you'll magically be great at relationships just because you started college.

I know options can be limited at your age but 16 is generally the age when teens really start to venture out into the world on their own (without parents/guardians). In many places, you can drive and work at 16. You can start exploring places you've never been to around town. You can join more extracurricular activities/clubs that would put you in contact with people beyond your school. I shouldn't have to tell an ENTP to go out and explore, as you should simply follow your natural Ne motivation. If that motivation is absolutely nowhere to be found, then perhaps reconsider your type.

#entp #auxiliary ti #social skills #adolescence #typing #ask

[grimaider]

They Were Always Allowed: A Personal Theory of TV Girl’s Hit "Not Allowed"

Hello internet, it's grim.

I just wanted to quickly thank everyone that went a read my last long post! My last post is probably the most popular piece of literary and analytical content that I have ever written, so I am happy that my writing is being seen by those in the community. As I start to write more over this year, I want a place to share my content beyond Tumblr, so if you're interested, I have opened up an Instagram account focused on advertising my blog here.

For this post, I plan to talk about another major interest of mine: Music and lyrical analysis. It's not something that I am totally great at yet, so please bare with me. Thank you.

Who Really Cares: The Inescapable Album of 2023

One of my favorite hobbies over the past few years has been rating albums and songs that I come across. It was something that I had picked up on when I was in 8th grade, and it helped me handle my emotions and stresses during a time of abuse. Now, as a college student, I rate albums as a past time, and I have come to enjoy it. In fact, a few of my college essays have revolved around music artists and the impact their music had on the world and myself.

Here are a few of the albums that I have rated over the past 5-6 months on AOTY.

Now for most albums, the rating process is fairly boring. I go through an album, pick out what songs I enjoyed and hated, and give my rating. Nothing out of the ordinary. But every once in a while, an album comes around that, for whatever reason, people on the internet flip the hell out over (regardless of whether the album is "good" or "bad").

90% of the time, I tend to wipe these albums off my list of albums to rate, typically because these albums tend to be overrated in some way, shape, or form. But in 2023, I could simply not get away from TV Girl's 2016 album, Who Really Cares. Despite the album turning 8 years old as of this year, I have still seen this album appear numerous times on YouTube shorts, Instagram stories, Instagram Reels, Twitter memes, and Spotify playlists. In fact, the reason why I even know of TV Girl is due to the fact that an ex of mine dedicated their hit song "Not Allowed" to me after our breakup. So I gave the album a 78/100 and moved on with my life (and my AOTY rating can be found here).

Fun fact: The source image for Who Really Cares originates from George M. Hester's The Classic Nude (Reddit). Arguably one of my favorite album covers of all time.

Most of the songs on the album aren't bad, and the unique sampling is extremely entrancing, but the album sounds the same throughout, with most songs lacking individual uniqueness. There were many instances in which I would attempt to write a short take on individual songs just to realize that I would be pointing out the exact same lyrics between two songs. For instance, "Not Allowed" and "For You" both use the "never intend to do what you say at all" line, which I found funny. While this could've been TV Girl using the line as a thematic or symbolic purpose throughout their album, it just felt lazy, especially since this doesn't occur in other albums that they've produced. Albums such as Summer's Over and Lonely Women were much better in terms of order, structure, and thematic principles than Who Really Cares, and neither of them have the repetition issue either.

"Not Allowed" and Misogyny : The Anthem of "Male Manipulators"

After rating and criticizing Who Really Cares back in mid-December, I didn't think too much else about it. Most of the traction around TV Girl started to die down, I started hearing their Tiktok-styled songs less, and many people started to drop the album as social media algorithms led the masses to other albums. Personally, I just liked a couple of songs and downloaded the album cover, and moved on.

A few weeks go by since I listened to the album and I decide that I want to change my profile picture on Steam. Not thinking anything of it, I changed my profile picture from Fleetwood Mac's Then Play On to a close-up of the man on the cover for Who Really Cares. Nothing too crazy, but this does go somewhere.

I hop into a good ol' game of CS2 with a few of my friends. We rage and get our asses kicked as per usual, but we eventually get paired up with another team that is more on our playing level. At the beginning of the game, everything was going well. Both teams were at about 3 or 4 points, so there was a chance of us winning. However, during the middle of the game, one of the teammates on the other team makes a comment about my profile picture being TV Girl, and claims that I was a listener of "male manipulator music." What?

I was so confused by what their teammate was talking about. What the hell is a "male manipulator?" Is it a man that manipulates people? Who is he manipulating? What does he get out of manipulating the subject in question? Or is it a woman that manipulates naive men? What does she get out of it? These questions wrapped around my brain that I had to team kill like three of my teammates to get off of CS2 to go do some research about this term.

Now from what I researched, there does not seem to be an official definition for the term "Male manipulator music." So I did what every other being on the internet does: I looked it up on Urban Dictionary.

Worst discovery ever. I listen to The Smiths, Deftones, and TV Girl so this is like my own personal 9/11.

In short, "male manipulator music" is a subgenre of artists and bands that have a fanbase of men that tend to manipulate women. Their unique yet depressing taste in music is sometimes used to reel in emotionally damaged and/or naive women into harmful relationship dynamics, hurting both the artist and their fanbase. It would be fair to argue that these men are almost like parasites to fanbases rather than part of a fanbase.

But this led me down a much larger rabbit hole regarding TV Girl that I had no run into back in December. Why is TV Girl thrown into this category of "male manipulator music?" So I went digging, and boy did I find some stuff:

(btw all the images are linked to my sources if you are interested in reading further)

Let's just say there are accusations galore about TV Girl and being misogynistic. From the lyric writing to the sampling sources, numerous cases and analyses have been written on TV Girl being misogynistic. Now, most of these are regarding different songs from TV Girl, so most of these might not apply to "Not Allowed," but then I kept running into more posts claiming that the entire point of TV Girl was to simply be misogynistic. That their aesthetic, mindset, and point of view was meant to put down women in a negative light as if men are superior, non-flawed beings. And the more I dug, the larger the accusations became.

Pack it up boys, we aren't allowed to listen to TV Girl anymore...

I was completely shocked. A song that I had picked up from an ex that helped me get through a rough spot in my life was now the target of a much larger campaign of women online claiming such music was meant to put them down? I wouldn't even care too much about the whole phenomenon, but it gets brought ALL THE TIME. And TV Girl has been making music for over 10 years.

With this rabbit hole successfully uncovered, I decided to write down the overall points that many critics point out regarding TV Girl's music.

TV Girl is misogynistic because:

Lyrics describe women in a humiliating and/or degrading manner

Songs are associated with or attract the previously mentioned "male manipulators"

TV Girl sympathizes with the male psyche post-heartbreak

Now that I had a list of reasons why people argue that TV Girl's discography is misogynistic, I am going to try my best to not only debunk these, but give my own personal interpretation of "Not Allowed," which I believe has been heavily misinterpreted and improperly characterized as an anthem for possessive, manipulative men.

Whack-A-Theory and Debunking Misogyny Claims

But before we can talk about the reasons why TV Girl's "Not Allowed" is misogynistic, we must first figure out just what "Not Allowed" is about.

According to the general consensus (aka the Internet), "Not Allowed" is a song about:

The feelings of a man who is rejected by a woman who is in love with someone else.

A man who fears to speak his thoughts on a love interest due to a fear of being socially criticized for speaking about sex.

Slut-shaming a woman who has rejected the singer.

Now, these are all very different theories, and even though they might sound similar since they revolve around a relationship dynamic filled with blurred lines, the implications of these theories vastly differ.

If any of these were MOST LIKELY to be true, it would be theory one. Let me explain:

First of all, "Not Allowed" DOES talk about sex. I'm not entirely sure why the second theory is thrown around so often in the TV Girl community, but it simply does not make any sense regarding the song. Furthermore, any basic research into the intro sample of "Not Allowed" would lead you to the feminist rap group Yeastie Girlz, which were known for their raunchy yet pro-women stance on sexual openness. In fact, the "song" that the sample is from is called "You Suck," which is a recording of the Yeastie Girlz talking about female oral sex in their album titled, Ovary Action:

For TV Girl to use such a raunchy sample in a song that is NOT supposed to talk about sex seems a bit ironic. While it could be argued that these underlying variables are meant to poke fun at the stigma of sexual talk, it wouldn't make sense for TV Girl to use those same elements as a way to insult the girl's partner either.

Take for example:

"But now he's playing with your head But did he ever make you cum?" Personally it doesn't make sense to me why TV Girl would take a jab at the sex stigma by using sexual acts to describe his bitter attitude. Furthermore, TV Girl pokes at the girl's sexual partner (or partners), singing:

"But how quickly they [the sonnets] turn sour So be careful who you screw."

Again, TV Girl's excessive use of raunchy samples and the jabs that the singer takes at sex itself doesn't add up to this theory. No one here is benefits from the negative usage of sex in the song, making this theory seem false.

While the second theory seems like complete bogus, the third theory could hold some weight. However, I think that there is more to this theory than what is presented online. While I will argue that the singer is shaming sexual actions within the song, I would say that the singer is taking more jabs at himself and the girl's current partner rather than the girl herself. Going back to the "messing with your head" lyric, TV Girl doesn't seem to take a jab at the girl having sexual intercourse with her current partner, but they seem to take a jab at the partner and how bad they might be doing at satisfying the girl's sexual needs. While one could argue that a jab at the girl's partner throws her in as collateral, the singer makes it very clear that his feelings towards himself are not great either, stating:

"I guess it's different 'cause you love him But I've got an interactive Sick and twisted imagination And that's gotta count for something" While the singer does not degrade himself to the same level that the girl's partner is subjected to, it is important to note that the girl is the one person in this entire song that is degraded THE LEAST. Not only does this disprove theory three, but it also disproves theories one and three of why "Not Allowed" is misogynistic. If "Not Allowed" was meant to take jabs at women, it would focus way more on the girl's actions rather than the singer and the girl's partner. Furthermore, the second theory on why TV Girl is misogynistic is just a lazy attempt to play the guilty by association fallacy. The only reason I would defend this argument was if "Not Allowed" was truly ripping on the girl the entire time throughout this song, which does not happen. Also, why would TV Girl use Yeastie Girlz as a sample if they wanted to push an anti-woman anthem? None of the reasons posted on TikTok make sense, and the fact that people pushed these theories regarding TV Girl's "Not Allowed" seems silly and lazy.

We Were Once Allowed, But TikTok Thinks We're Strangers

Now we are down to just one theory. I purposely held off the first theory because my theory and the first theory are pretty similar. While I do believe that the song revolves around the feelings of a man who is rejected by a woman who is in love with someone else, I believe we are hearing the perspective of a jealous ex rather than a stranger.

Let me explain:

When I first heard this song, it was after I had broken up with my ex. I'll spare you the details, but I've always seen this song as an ex that felt like he was pushed out of the way for another guy that was waiting for the girl to leave.

"Now you suck We wanna talk about sex but we're not allowed Well, you may not like it but you better learn how 'cause it's your turn now You're wasting your tongue with lame excuses and lies" This part is the singer talking about the girl, saying that she sucks. He goes onto say that they wanna talk about the sexual aspects of their relationship but they are no longer allowed to. I would argue that the singer is making the assumption that his ex is truly not over him and just hopped into a relationship for a rebound. The singer says it's the girl's turn now to hear what he has to say and that she should shut up and listen to what's in store. It could be implied that she has also gone around and spread a false narrative against the singer.

"So how should I begin this? I guess it started when you were with him. And how he never even took you out to dance But did he fuck with any rhythm?" Here we see that the singer is collecting his thoughts on when he was first made uncomfortable with the girl's new partner. He explains that the girl's partner never took her out to dance, implying that he might've during their relationship. The "fuck with any rhythm" could be taken as either him liking any music or rhythmic sexual intercourse. "But now he's playing with your head But did he ever make you cum? Did he ever make you cry?"

Moving on from the dance, the singer now leaves us with a dilemma. He claims that the girl's partner is playing with her head, which can be seen as the singer altering the truth to make the girl seem dumb, or he realizes that the girl is being taken advantage of for her partner's own sexual gratification. Personally, I'm choosing the latter. The singer then asks if her partner makes her cum or cry. Since this is in the past tense, it could be argued that this fling soon dies out or this is the current partner asking if the singer ever made the girl cum or cry, and the singer is just repeating the thoughts of the current partner.

"Do the wires in your mind get sewn together Rubbed and severed by the heat You don't know how long I could stare into your picture And wish that it was me" The singer now asks if there is a personal bond built between the girl and her partner. Based on the previous assumptions, we could argue "Yes" or "No." I would argue "yes" because the next line shows that the girl has taken pictures with the other person in question, making the singer wish that it was him. Again, this could also be seen as him feeling as if he is incapable of controlling ex or he's just jealous that she's with someone else after all that she's supposedly done.

"I guess it's different 'cause you love him But I've got an interactive Sick and twisted imagination And that's gotta count for something" Based on this, I feel like the ex might've complained about the singer's sexual habits. It might be implied here that the ex was disgusted by the singer's sexual interest towards her, but now it's different because it's someone else. The singer then gives himself the positive, claiming that his graphic imagination must be worth something.

Skipping the chorus becuase it's the same as the intro and I don't feel like repeating myself

"I dreamt I was standing in your doorstep Licking sweat off of your forehead With your finger in my mouth And the sound when leather jackets hit the ground" This could be the singer reminiscing on a past scenario in which he and the girl in question are being sensual. Nothing more to analyze. "You should hear when you're not around When it's just us horny poets Who can't wait to write it down And swear we were only being honest." I believe this excerpt is the singer rubbing the past into the face of the girl's partner. Almost like a "yeah we used to have sex too y'know" moment. It could also be the singer implying that him and his ex have made small talk since they've broken up, attempting to come to closure. Nonetheless, it's clear that this was aimed at the girl's partner rather than the girl.

"Do you like these little sonnets 'Cause I wrote them just for you But how quickly they turn sour So be careful who you screw And never call. And I'm starting to suspect You don't intend to do anything you say at all."

After taking his shot at the girl's partner, the singer seems to take aim at the girl. This time, he's offering a set of sonnets he's written about her, but they all have a bad ending. He claims that the sonnets are written this way because she had sex with him and then (possibly) ghosted him afterwards. He then finishes up the excerpt by assuming that his ex was a liar. This could be seen as the singer uncovering an abusive relationship between him and his ex.

"All by yourself, sittin' alone I hope we're still friends, yeah, I hope you don't mind." This is the part that led me to making this entire post. How could the singer and the girl "still be friends" if there was nothing else to begin with? You can't be friends with someone you never knew. This stupid verse led me to travel down a whole rabbit hole and a half just to give my own interpretation of the song, and I have no regrets. The singer is simply mocking the girl breaking up with the singer, claiming that they could still be friends and that she hope he doesn't mind, which is a common tactic that abusers might use after a relationship to hold some sort of control over their victim. This could be seen as an innocent ending to a falling out, or the ex looking for an avenue to hold onto the singer while he struggles with his own thoughts.

Conclusion

Regardless of whatever theory I or anyone on the internet come up with, I believe this song acts as a great litmus test as one's attitudes towards relationships. When I was scrolling through theories and the misogyny rabbit hole, I noticed that many people who wrote about "Not Allowed" focused on inputting their own experiences into the song, writing their theory as if the song was about their relationship. I would even argue that I did the same, and that's completely okay. I made this with the intent of simply debunking what has already been said about the song. While I think that anyone can have an opinion on what this song is supposed to represent, I didn't think any theory prior to mine was "the" meaning (as in what people should take the song as at face value). To put simply, I do not think that this song was about a male manipulator waiting to prey on his next victim, but the girl in question doesn't love him. If it was, then it wouldn't fit into Who Really Cares at all, for the album is about Brad's (the lead singer) troubled relationships with women. I think that's what people ran to because a majority of TV Girl's fanbase is women who have had shitty relationships, regardless of whether it was their fault or not. This has then led to TV Girl's reputation being about male manipulators because all the women in their fanbase simultaneously fear abusive men (and rightfully so). TV Girl simply reinforces that it could be either side's fault depending on how you look at both sides' cruel and immature behavior towards the fallout. I also found inspiration for this song analysis from NEOPUNK (it's a good listen check it out):

If you've read through the entirety of this damn blog post without knowing about the song I've been rambling about, give it a listen. It's pretty good:

And with that, I'm tired. Good night. ~grimaider.

#who really cares #tv girl #male manipulator #music rant #music #pop #pop music #popular #trend #media commentary #media analysis #media criticism #media #social media #indie #indie music #commentary #my commentary #debate #argument #discussion #january 2024 #grimaider #incel #incelcore #incel behavior #theory #theories #speculation #analysis

[askthewhiteboard]

Book Nº1: Remnants from a fallen order

Grand inquisitor x oc (Mie Cydd)

Ch1 / Ch2

Chapter 2: Bargain

You find yourself facing the inquisitor that you wished to avoid by all means, improvisation is the last thing you have left to get yourself out of trouble…

…

Three weeks earlier

- Unkown regions, Unkown system

You found yourself in the massive halls of the Academia Main Library, rummaging through some documents regarding the military forces of the empire, since the clone all scholars are required to study their behavior when researching outside of the system. You needed to know how to act in front of them during the investigation.

“You called me?” Said an female voice next to you.

“Oh, yes miss!” You say turning around to face one of the main librarians, an elder human woman. “I am Mie Cydd from the History Department, you may know my master. I wanted to speak to you because I’m currently making preparations for a study about Jedi history and current Downfall, I’ve got told that order 66 is still on and that the empire is now targeting people like us. I would like to to avoid trouble as much as possible so I was wondering if you had any information about this issue.”

“Regarding Order 66’s ongoing execution you say?” She says while scanning the bookshelves, looking for something. However she decides to back off and open a datapad she was carrying. “You must not have an authorisation to engage in combat I guess. Well, I’m afraid we are lacking most of the intel you need in paper, but It’s not any major trouble.”

Having said that she begins searching through the files for a private archive on the pad named with the words <INQUISITORIUS>

“Inquisitorius? Is it like, for some sort of ethnic cleansing or forced conversion?” You ask while she passes you the datapad with a series of profiles.

“You wouldn’t think that the empire would have enough with the clone rampage didn’t you?” She says teasingly. “Darth Sidious knew that to get rid of a force sensitive order, he needed people with the same affinity on his side.”

“Didn’t he turn Skywalker to his side already? What about the rule of two?”

“Palpatine has tampered with many rules for his own benefit, although sith inquisitors hace existed in previous times like in the old republic back in Revan’s era. But I had to judge, I’d say he cares little about the Sith ‘traditions’, he just makes use of them as he pleases. This is one of the occasions, Darth Vader is strong but a single person can only do so much, that’s why he needed a wider range of zealots. Not ‘sith lords’ like the ones on the clone wars but rather ‘dark side sympathisers’. This organisation is formed by force sensitive users who have fallen to the dark side and former Jedi that suffered the same fate.”

“So, it’s some sort of assassin guild?”

“Not exactly” she says while you look through the recordings of the file. “Their job apart from capturing, and of course killing Jedi survivors, is also recruiting force sensitive people to become part of such commitment. Don’t be fooled though, they rarely do such, only when the victim picks their interest they try to persuade them into the dark side, the emperor wants a concentrated number of these ‘soldiers’ so he can keep them under control.”

“Do they have a leader of some sorts, or are they directly under the Emperor?”

“Although Sidious is the one in comand and Vader is the one in charge of training them, there seems to be some kind of hierarchy, with the strongest, or more useful, of them being the second in command and even having more authority than some Moffs, that title would be the one of Grand Inquisitor” She continues while gesturing you to open one of the profiles in the archive. “Although the other inquisitors have been changing ranks, that rank of has been kept only by one person.”

The profile shows a Pau’an individual:

-Name: UNKNOWN-

-Status: alive-

-Gender: male-

-Former status: Jedi Knight, Temple Guard-

-Current Status: Grand Inquisitor of the Galactic empire-

-Location: Currently on Nur (Fortress Inquisitorius)

-Age: 45 years-

“No name? Why is that?” You say while looking at the photos of the record, apart from the characteristic dark side golden eye color, the only notable change from his times as a Jedi are the tattoos on his forehead. Despite being in parallel with the previous transition, the shapes don’t seem to belong to any sith tattoo pattern you’ve read about.

“He was a Jedi Temple Guard, all trace of identity is erased from the files when obtaining the title. He must have been one for a some time because his name is unavailable anywhere you look, even here.”

You check the age again, 45, at least by your knowledge Pau’ans have an early life similar to humans and very long adulthood up to 700 regular years, even though he’s a adult by now, he’s still very young for his standard. You wonder how someone who spent the majority of his life as one of the most devoted ranks of the jedi would fall to the dark side.

“Temple Guard huh? That means he was a sentinel, those with yellow lightsabers, they were very rare, is he comparable to Vader? I’ve read they underwent rigorous training since they were also in charge of tracking and getting rid of any sith that appears.”

“Yes, indeed he was a sentinel, although not as strong as Skywalker is, he’s certainly way more intelligent, that’s why he remains in that position. Vader may be more powerful, but he’s impulsive and emotional in regards of his rage, in the early days, he made an absolute mess when hunting Jedi. With the Grand Inquisitor in charge of the elimination and their base moved away from Coruscant, their mission became more effective and discreet.”

“I see, so in terms of being caught, he’s the main obstacle I’ll need to avoid?”

“Most inquisitors actually, if one causes a ruckus, it’ll lure in the others and everything will get worse”

“Makes sense.”

“I wonder, with all these people, why didn’t your superiors give you permission to fight, at least on a defensive level?”

“Well…” you say smiling awkwardly and looking away. “I’ve had incidents with previous projects during the clone wars and although most of the time it wasn’t my fault, things usually got out of control. So, unless it’s a critical situation, which is why I am allowed to carry only one weapon, I must not use any gadgets apart from the necessary or any kind of violence. Even if the excuse is valid, I’ll still get penalised, I’d rather not risk getting expelled.” Her neutral expression softens.

“That’s a harsh punishment, Im afraid I cannot give you any advice with this situation. Although it won’t work for the others, there’s something you can do to bargain things without violence if the Grand Inquisitor ever catches you. Rumors say he’s interested in ancient knowledge more than actually hunting Jedi, in fact, he uses the remaining temple records that weren’t erased to investigate and identify the runaways. You are studying that topic right now and the Jedi archives are replicated here with utmost perfection, you have them copied too in your datapad. Despite being currently an assassin of some sort, his interests sometimes overtake him, Im pretty sure he would be willing to listen and let you go if you reassure that you’re not a Jedi and give him something he wants as in some sort of exchange.” She says pointing at the halls full of books and records.

“What am I supposed to do then?”

“Bribe him, but offer him knowledge.”

***

Present Time

***

“Now tell me, who are you, and what were you doing” The Grand Inquisitor says menacingly pointing at you with his crimson lightsaber. You look at those eerie reddish yellow eyes, doubting about what to do next, you have very little options but certainly one is imminent. Perhaps it’s time to put the librarian’s advice to practice, either that or getting expelled for unauthorised violence.

“I may have overstepped, but trust me, I have nothing to do with the Jedi. If I have to be honest, I am far from their beliefs and much less from their intentions.” You say distancing yourself as much as you can from the uncomfortable warmth of the lightsaber.

He chuckles mockingly and gets closer, moving the edge of the blade closer to your chest, then he grabs the front of your hood and pushes it back harshly, revealing your full face.

“What’s your name?” He says in a demanding tone, analysing your features closely. You try to make something up.

“…Mie-” you say accidentally, overrun by the nervousness, giving him your real name, you’ll need to improvise the rest…

“No surnames?”

“No”

“Age?”

“… 22 years.”

“Man or woman?”

“… other”

“Species?”

“…Human”

He pauses for a second, taking a look at your face while frowning, then he continues.

“Birth Planet?”

“…None”

“None? How is that?”

“… Born while traveling in hyperspace so no planet of origin” you say trying to make it sound credible.

“Alright… I’ve never seen your profile before on any of the records so I doubt you belonged to the order. However, your actions before cannot be ignored so simply, lately, some nostalgic Jedi are trying desperately to recruit delusional children and other allies, I hope you don’t mind a little… inspection.” Although not fond of the idea of being scrutinised you have no choice.

“Okay, if that makes things better…”

“Perfect.” he says smugly. “Now hands up, and don’t think about sensitivities.”

You raise both hands and with lightsaber in hand, the inquisitor pats his free one around your clothed arms, back, chest and waist. Luckily the touch is not advantageous, unlike other attempts you’ve heard about from imperials with less manners.

He moves his gloved hand to the lower part your of cloak and lifts it enough to show your belt, there he sees the retracted staff behind your back and quickly takes it. He inspects it closely without withdrawing his saber from you, looking at each detail he finds, probably making sure it’s not a lightsaber. With ease he finds the hidden button and expands it, you catch a glimpse of surprise in his expression as he finishes checking the rest of it.

“What material is it made of?” He asks swinging it around lightly.

“Durasteel.” you lie again, he looks at you with disdain and starts to move the staff closer to his lightsaber blade.

“Really? Do you mind if I check then?”

“… Okay, it’s not durasteel.” You say lowering your head. “But I don’t know what is it exactly made of either. No one ever told me when I received it. Materials apart, this is just a self defense tool, I’m not fighting anyone with that for no reason.”

“If it’s only for self-defense, why would someone like you need a trinket like this?” He says, putting the tip of the staff under your chin, forcing you to raise your again head to face him.

“Tattoine is not exactly safe you know?”

“That was not my question” He says, abruptly pulling the staff away, clashing both the lightsaber and the staff, the former resisting the hit without any damage signs. “Why do you need something made to resist lightsabers”

You nervously stare at the ground, defeated, unable to stretch the cover up with this man.

“Okay, okay, Im actually from the Unknown regions, however the rest of the information I told you is true. About the staff, In my planet this metal is abundant, there’s nothing more to that. I don’t belong to any dubious cult or faction, am just a scholar.” You confess, although the inquisitor doesn’t seem convinced, you cannot tell him that you’re researching on Jedi history, it’s too risky for your own good. “Im merely investigating history on cultures and traditions of the outer rim.” He finally turns off the lightsaber and tucks it on his back.

“Then, is that why you also need this for?” He says while extending his hand, using the force to make your hidden datapad gravitate towards him. You freeze as he switches it on and takes a look at the documents, luckily the files with the Jedi are locked and hidden so he cannot access them. His eyes widen and after a few seconds, he looks back at you visibly irritated and scowls. “What is this nonsense?”

He turns the screen of the datapad to you, then it hits you, he cannot read them any of the texts, all the documents are in your native language and alphabet.

“Well you see, I know it sounds weird, but there are many other languages apart from basic.” You say sounding more sarcastic than you planned.

“I know and I speak most of them!” He replies angrily. “Don’t mess with me brat! I’ve only seen this alphabet once and not even my superiors were allowed to read it! Why is it in your possession!?”

“What do you mean?? That is just my native language, I don’t know what it has to do with you!” You were genuinely telling the truth, no one in the Academia informed you of this, and you found out in one of the worst ways possible. Fortunately you are as confused as he is, so you either use this to your advantage or everything goes downhill. “I swear it’s just everyday dialogue, it even has grammar mistakes from my own notes!”

“You ignorant, if you’re a scholar you should know it! This language has remained undeciphered since the Great Sith war, do you have any idea of how valuable any hint of translation is??” His tone has made a 360º turn, from interrogator to nerd who’s favorite topic has been insulted, this came completely unexpected, but it’s exactly what you needed.

“Well how was I supposed to know?? My people barely interacted with the republic during those times! History was written differently in my sector.” This is your only chance, you must choose your wording carefully. “Listen, I reassure you that I have nothing to do with the Jedi, if I eavesdropped before on the tavern was simply out of unmannered curiosity, use the force on me to prove it if you wish. I want no trouble with anyone, especially the empire, so if I can offer something as ‘tribute’ and my language is of any value to you, I can help with the basics for the moment, if you want of course…”

The Inquisitor raises a brow at your pause, almost questioning your words but his eyes show interest.

“… Im listening ” he finally says.

“I have a manual with basic translations that I don’t need, but it’s in physic and inside the room I got here on a hostel close to where we are…“ If he allows you to go get it, maybe you can grab your things quickly and flee, but knowing how easily he caught you before, the idea is quite dangerous.

“Keep talking”

“Okay, apart from that, I could use some of the texts I have to make more direct translations to both languages, if you just let me go there and get-“ you have no time to finish before he points your staff directly at your face now.

“Do you really think Im that stupid to let you go so easily after this escalation of events? So you can run away the second I take my eyes off you? Not happening, wherever you’re going, Im coming personally to make sure you don’t attempt anything.”

“Alright, okay! I wasn’t planning on fleeing, not with two more of you guys here, Im not that dumb.” You direct your eyes at your datapad still in his grip. “Can you at least give me my datapad back? I won’t say anything about the staff, but I do not want you to go around with something that has my whole study in it.”

The man ponders his decision for a minute, then he finally hands the device to you.

“If I see anything out of place, I’ll execute you myself on the spot.” He says while you save the datapad on your back again and put your hood back on, he meanwhile retracts the staff and gestures you to exit the alley. “Get moving.”

He follows after you across the narrow dusty streets until you begin to reach more crowded areas, there people stare at both of you, some sneering and other with worried expressions murmuring to each other. By their looks, they either think you’re a snitch or a prisoner, and none of the options are good for you.

“Um, how about we go for streets with less people? I don’t think being so exposed is a good idea for both of us.” You whisper looking around for another path. He doesn’t answer and Instead yanks your arm with harsh, almost dragging you into another street.

“If you wanted to look like a prisoner, I fixed that for you.” He says while walking still gripping your arm with more strength that you would have imagined.

“Oh thanks for the kind action, what a gentleman!” You say sarcastically trying to keep his pace, he grabs you tighter in irritation.

“Watch your behaviour around me brat, I won’t take any taunts from you.”

“Come on I was thanking you.” You insist, ignoring his threat.

“What did I say!?”

“Alright alright!! Look, my hostel is right there.” You point at the building in the distance, as you both approach it, you slow down. “I don’t think is convenient for you to enter directly. Just imagine what they may be thinking already only to see you drag me into a room.”

His posture changes and stops immediately, almost looking startled at your comment.

“What are you insinuating??”

“Hey! I want nothing to do with you in the first place, but, if you were to only interrogate me, why would you bring me into a hotel room? People here like gossiping too much, if rumors were more than enough to bring you here, just what sort of stupidities would be spread if we do the latter!“

“What do you have in mind then?” He says indignated, finally letting your arm go.

“My room has a window that its facing a backstreet, I’ll open it for you, it’s on the back of the hotel, a second floor so use the force thingy and enter trough it”

You try sounding as ignorant to the force as possible so no suspicions rise, luckily he seems more focused on your dumb choice of words.

“Okay… But Im not taking my eyes off you. I want to see you go through that door.”

“Fair enough” you conclude, distancing yourself and approaching the hostel.

Luckily the lady is currently not on the counter so no unnecessary questions will ensue. The hostel is a lot quieter than before, a lot of people are probably hiding out of fear to avoid the inquisitors while they’re here, so you’re not surprised at all.

Once you’re inside your room, you take off your cloak and leave it on a makeshift hanger that you saw on the wall, it’s pointless wearing it now since he has already seen your face. Sitting on the border of the bed you stop to take a deep breath and pause, this day has spiralled out of control. If your supervisors find out about the situation, you will be suspended and probably expelled, you can only hope that everything goes smoothly and the grand inquisitor doesn’t find out about your actual studies and lets you go.

Approaching the window you see him on the street, standing on the roof of a smaller building , speaking on a commlink looking like he’s giving an order. You start to get tense, really hoping it’s not related to you. Reaching for the button next to the frame, you doubt for a second, you could get the little stuff you have and try to run away, but the others are roaming around and if he alerts them things could get worse.

Deciding to finally press the button to open the window, you wave at him.

Spotting you, he looks around to check for any bystanders and leaps to the window with ease, entering the room.

Once you’re both inside, you find yourself forgetting everything you were supposed to do, resulting in an uncomfortable silence.

“Who were you speaking to..?” You finally say trying not to sound nervous, although, he notices anyways and smirks.

“It has nothing to do with you.” He says, extending his hand to you, at least in that he seems to tell the truth. “Now, hand over the manual, I want to check it here to make sure you’re not lying.”

“Yeah sure…” you murmur, grabbing the backpack you left on the bed, rummaging through it you reach for said booklet, of sturdy paper with a thin beige leather cover with the letters highlighted in red. Passing it to the Grand inquisitor, he takes a curious look at it, making it look like he’s holding some sort of invaluable artifact.

“Its on paper…” he says going through the pages with wonder, like a child with a new toy. “And it’s printed a rather in primitive technique, could you tell me what did they use?”

Once again his mood made a 360° twist, his previous irritation nowhere to be, he is asking completely out of excitement, which putting aside the sith paraphernalia, it was kind of cute…

“Oh! This one is printed with a big old fashioned machine, it melts the metal letters into a big sheet and then the ink pattern is pressed on the paper.”

“How curious, when it comes to printed books it’s rare to see one of these in such format and in good condition.”

“Heh, we are quite fond of reading on paper, we have the option of doing it on digital, but old books have always been our soft spot” you say trying to lighten the mood with that sudden twist.

Lucky for you he seems to follow along, you need to measure your words and actions, this man is an expert interrogator, a former jedi and a high ranking imperial, you’ve committed enough reckless actions already. After looking at the pages for some time, he closes the book and motions for you to come closer, you follow, pulling one of the chairs to sit down on the small table, taking a pen and opening the previously unused notebook.

“Well then sir, where do you wish to start?”

#grand inquisitor x oc #pau’an inquisitor #grand inquisitor #the grand inquisitor #grand inquisitor x reader #star wars oc #star wars fic #star wars

[liskantope]

[Content note: not going to be very charitable or thorough about my views on the general issue of recent developments on Roe vs. Wade, or bother cluttering this up with qualifications.]

Caught in the midst of another wave of work, I've been a little late in picking up the details of the leak of Alito's document and the fact that it represents the soon-forthcoming opinion of the Supreme Court as a whole in favor of overturning Roe vs. Wade.

I distinctly remember 4-5 years ago stating confidently to people that I just couldn't imagine it ever being overturned, not because the public tide would ever shift overwhelmingly in favor of pro-choice (as has been the case with same-sex marriage for instance), but because enough of the country favored the legality of abortion (a clear majority), and enough of that subset felt strongly enough about it, that there would be massive protests and rioting such as those of us who are reasonably young would have never seen in our lifetimes. The Supreme Court was clearly to a great extent a representation of political winds (much as this was against its premise of course), and the politicians-that-be on both sides of the aisle would surely be far too afraid of the violent public backlash to dare allow RvW to be overturned. Chipped away at through incremental legislation in dozens of states perhaps, but not straight-up reversed on the level of SCOTUS.

Then in summer 2020 I got a taste of what severe social unrest and widespread angry protesting/rioting look like. And still I remember saying (probably to myself, because I wasn't talking to many people at the time), "If RvW gets overturned, there will be protesting and rioting on a level that makes all this George Floyd stuff look like a joke in comparison."

But now that it's actually happening, I'm not sure that there will be anywhere near that much of a reaction. And I have complex feelings about that.

On the one hand, it's very easily possible to exaggerate how disastrous the effects of the overturning will be (I expect a good percentage of Americans sloppily confuse it with a ruling banning abortion everywhere for instance, alternate routes to abortion are more feasible than they were 50 years ago, etc.). And I consider protesting to have some positive but limited utility (while rioting has negative utility). On the other hand, I still consider it disastrous enough that I feel a desire to become much more activist about this than about most other things.

But on the third hand, I want to see a reaction that reassures me at least a tiny bit, when compared with the unrest two summers ago, that liberal social activism has some rational understanding of practical effects of laws and priorities and abstract narratives versus concrete facts and so on. In a way, I want to see far more protesting, far more domination of the national discourse, far more emotion, far more passion, far more raw force as a social movement attached to this than was ever attached to George Floyd's murder and the vaguely-understood cloud of oppressive attitudes it represented. There are concrete laws at stake here which affect vast numbers of people in a highly tractable way that doesn't depend on vague principles or desires for revolution or nebulous "understood truths". There are highly measurable ways that large demographics in our society will suffer, a more firmly-founded fuel for our emotions than anger over several individual outrageously tragic incidents.

In that vein, I want to see a moral panic over female reproductive rights. I want to see awareness and tension over these issues seep into almost every facet of our society. I want to see every major company speak up on it. I want to see widespread treatment of the perpetuation of poverty as a result of lack of control over reproduction, and those who think it's worth it because of their convictions about the sanctity of souls or possibly more unsavory beliefs, as a scourge on our culture. I want to see dating profiles, in the midst of the usual dog and sarcasm enthusiasm, explode with exhortations of "if you don't like women having choices, swipe left".

#roe vs. wade #abortion #george floyd #BLM #online dating #not every expressed wish in this post should be taken literally #nor does it anywhere near represent the whole of my concern

[voidfuldreams]

i know i say this every time, but i’m not really sure why i’m here. i suppose i’ll do the same thing i usually do; and type until something substantial shows up and then post it.

i’ve been fighting with a migraine all day, and i just managed to get rid of it about an hour ago but the pain meds i took are wearing off and i can feel it returning, so i’ll try to be quick.

i’ve been living on my own now for just over three months, and it’s definitely better for me. work is easy to get to, and i’ve taken up another sewing project, even though i said i wouldn’t do that again. im mostly just barely scraping by, and i guess i’m making do with the shit pay i get. i’m trying to look for somewhere full time, but i’m technically supposed to be going to tafe, so i can’t exactly lie and say my body shut down again.

speaking of which, i’ve seemingly got my sleeping issue mostly under control for now, but every now and then i struggle a bit more than usual to get up for work.

since the last time we talked, i’ve had some more things tip me toward the edge. i relapsed and broke a six month clean streak, and i’m pretty sure the last month or so i’ve slipped into a depressive episode again. it’s not ideal, but seeing as i have officially dwindled the number of friends in my state to zero, it was inevitable. they one hundred percent probably won’t see this, and if they do i also do not give one of the slightest fucks. i don’t stick around people like that.

the cycle doesn’t change, though. it’s somehow been the same with every set of people i meet. no matter how much of my behaviour i change, no matter how different the people are, no matter how closed off i make myself, somehow every time i am the problem. maybe i am the problem, but i know for a fact that if i was the problem i’d still have a problem with the way i’m being treated. and if i’m not the problem, im just a really unfortunate recipient of a string of coincidental bad luck.

so fuck you.

im pretty sure nobody has a link to this profile. if they do, suck an egg. venting is free.

due to my very clear lack of people here, i’ve been thinking about just packing my shit and moving interstate immediately. i can’t technically afford it, maybe if i really tried i could, but it’s unlikely it will happen until i have some stable fucking income. it hurts though, seeing your only friends talk about hanging out with eachother while you live on the other end of a discord call. i miss talking to people in person, and it’s starting to drive me insane. some nights i think about just driving a knife into my guts, see how many stabs it takes for things to start feeling better. other nights i lay awake and fantasise about living close to the only friends who have seen me at my worst and continue to support me. more often than not, im staring at the ceiling, the shower wall, the bathroom door, out the window, or my blank pc monitor wondering how long it would take for someone to find my body after i die here.

i’d love to move out on my own and have my own place. i’d love to live close to friends and hang out with them. i’d love to get a reliable job so i can feel better about my income’s stability. but most of the time that just feels like a dream; something ill never be able to have in my hands. it feels like i’ll never make it out of this shitty apartment alive. moving away is a fantasy, and the knife i keep in my bathroom is tangible. it lets me feel something other than the numbness of day to day life.

i’ve come to terms that i’ll most likely not make it out of this building. if i do, i have absolutely zero doubts that i’ll continue in this lonely fucking way of life, continuing with to be left behind and to never experience closeness to another human the way i so crave. that has become the ideal fantasy, completely unattainable and to be regarded as fiction in my head.

whether it be platonic or romantic, i just want to be loved.

#voidfuldreams #being dramatic i guess #vent #trigger warning i guess #tw sewerslide #whatever

[nullset2]

On Diversity in the Tech Industry

"Write every day", lest the thoughts consume you. When you write, you think. Even more: when you write, you're actually doing it to organize your mental cabinet, rather than for the benefit of other people (even though people will be reassured that they're on the right path once they find your footsteps on their journey). "Writing = thinking", my previous employer used to say all the time, which is a principle that I incredibly value even though there are a lot of other things about their culture that I don't appreciate.

Let me preface this by saying that the matter of diversity is an issue at large in the tech industry, and not something specific to any particular company or segment in it, and it's something that I think people are honestly, earnestly doing their best about, and there's a lot of people that I'm infinitely indebted to, powerful mentors in my way who have made me a better person. Even though sometimes the path to hell is paved with good intentions, I still abide by this paragraph. By and large, the industry is comprised of just good guys and gals and non-binary pals, you know what I mean?

However, we live in incredibly bizarre times, and sometimes it gets the best of me and that's why I want to jot these things down.

The prevalence of technology and the quasi-autistic state of alienation it fosters is leading to this state of being where the Other is eradicated and the Self is regarded as the All there is to be.

How does this fit with the tech industry? Well, the spiel paraded by the activists in the regard of Diversity claims that "races and profiles have been systematically excluded off of certain echelons of society" like the tech industry. Thus, there's a mechanic of oppresion moving the threads of society like its puppetmaster, there's a glaring generational debt which should be reparated back as soon and as efficiently as possible, and therefore, affirmative action should be taken to get those profiles back into the tech industry. Affirmative action is, basically, to take it easy on the, supposedly oppressed types (it already feels horribly demeaning to me to write this) and to provide them with positive affirmations and validations. Thus, quotas of intersectional profiles, based off of criteria like race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, et. al., should be rigurously applied to hiring, delegation, assignment of responsibilities and formation of teams.

(Another disclaimer before we go on: there's a kernel of truth in this. Imagine that you were designing a website for a Muslim locale, and, lacking knowledge of the sensitivities there, you decided to put a picture of a big, fat, beefy burger with strips of chunky, crispy bacon on it. Egad, pork meat is haram there, but you never knew. If you had a muslim colleague, however, that kind of stuff would had popped up earlier. It does help to have multiple life experiences and sensitivities in your team in ways more succint than we realize. I am convinced of this being true.)

Now, carrying on, the problem is that, on paper, of course it's true. Everybody knows it to be true. That which fits the collective-unconscious pre-conception of a techie is good, and that which doesn't is to be eradicated and this has a racial skew. Work, dating, neighborhoods, HOAs, relationships... everything in the modern world is subjected to one or many heavy biases. I'm writing this essay in English for goodness' sake. The die have already been thrown centuries ago. The hands have been dealt and we're sort of trying to pull forward as-is, awkwardly as it is. The tech industry is vastly, grossly majoritarily Caucasian and Asian (and by this I also mean Indian), and those profiles form a techno-elite caste that mostly exclusively hangs out and disseminates information among itself. This technoelite caste is fast-tracked into colleges where there's literally classes where they teach them the very same problems that they get in technical interviews, which they get to learn and rehearse at leisure, ergo fastracking them into the industry too.

Now, the naive explanation to this would be to assume that the reason why this happens is merely racial, which is what those types posit, but I actually think that's a lie. Every good lie is partially true though. To assume that it is only racial disregards the matter of competence.

"Affirmative Action" or "Positive Discrimination" as I've heard it called, is the proposed solution to this problem. "So, there is a very obvious skew in the population --thus, what we're going to do is that we're going to strongly encourage you to hire and integrate people into the industry who don't fit this standard.". It's weird because in a way it feels as if the answer to racism is more racism, but I see what they're going for --a fair shot across the board. But when that fair shot seems to be predicated on you being given a crutch because apparently you have a historical handicap because of who you are... well, you can probably infer how that feels.

Yes, my parents got fucked by the machine, I lost a lot of prospects in my earlier life, and I was sort of assumed to be a loser, my parents giving up any hope for me after I failed to breed around 18 years of age. They sort of... never actually understood what I was up to, and they left me to my devices to commune with the 2001 space oddysey monolith. Everyone else also did. My high school friends sort of thought that I was some weirdo loser that was damned to irrelevancy, and when I developed techincal skills and I managed to come up in the world, everyone did a 180 on me and went "holy shit", and either started asking me for money, or cut off contact out of the shame they felt that someone like me was doing like I was (to this day, this process of alienation from my original kin continues to happen btw).

And all of that is because, again, of all of these preconceptions and mechanisms in place --so the Diversity argument does hold up again. I am not saying that the Diversity spiel is wrong. But the problem is that, again, every good lie is partially true. To be prioritized as a profile feels as demeaning as to be actually discriminated against on the same basis (to me, at least. I guess a lot of people are happy in their stations as long as they have a weekly pizza and Netflix to amuse themselves to death, but I personally go insane if I cannot produce anything new). It discounts my competence, right? It's a catch-22. Fucked if I do or if I don't. If I take the step and try to play in the big leagues, people are going to take the piss because I don't talk in Californian Fry and use the same dogwhistles that the techies use among themselves, but if I don't, then I get to stay in a ghetto and make nothing of my life.

I argue, my friends, that whoever is most competent rises in the hierarchy. As corrupt and dirty the hierarchy can be sometimes, this principle is something that I know to be true, and It's been taught to me by the power of the black star, and I feel it in my very bones, in my very marrow. But the problem is, if you come from a fucked up world, how can you effectively develop competence if everyone around you is constantly assuming that you're a loser? It's just horrid. It takes a ridiculous, massive, insane amount of effort that most people are not willing to undertake. I know I suck. I am not really anything when compared to the most competent people in the industry (you know who you are: if you're reading this, I'm sorry that things didn't work out, but maybe in better circumstances we'll do alright).

I fumble my way through things. Yet, I still get things right sometimes.

On a personal level, also: what happens when you decide to go for it, then, and break away from the expectation of your caste and class? It isolates you. It alienates you. It takes you away from your hive, like a bee, and made to wander. When a bee is taken away from its hive (I've been thinking a lot about bee symbolism lately), it will try to find and join other hives, if it can find any before it dies. It is literally a matter of chemistry at that point: if the bee has a compatible chemical signature, it will be accepted and taken in; if not, it will be expunged by the female bees of the hive. The hivemind is a powerful force.

It's even worse when half of the populace out there thinks you're part of a ploy to change the demographic distribution in a negative way, and thus you must be eradicated as soon as possible, but I am not going to go there right now. I'm just going to mention that some neighbors were very happy when a tree fell on my home a bit over a year ago.

What to do at this point? My friends, the answer resides in the Jungian archetype of the Fool. Even though some people would argue that the appereance of the Fool is a sign of the erosion of our societal bonds, the Universe has a soft spot for fools. Sometimes you have to do the most stupid fucking bullshit you can think of. A man has to be a bit stupid sometimes. Be a troublemaker. Be shameless. Dare. Of course, don't be an asshole, but put energy into it. Step into the abyss even if you get fucked by it --because that's where the great things happen. These days, sometimes I do things that I'm not even aware of, which make other people mad. I'm literally oblivious to them. All of a sudden, people react to them and they hurt me, projecting their shadows.

A friend (the only senior Mexican engineer I ever found at my previous employer, who was in a team where I actually performed pretty well once I had the advantage of, egad, lo and behold!, an actual mentor, mind you) told me once "well, at some point you just got to steal it", and then he grabbed an implementation of something off of github, and that's when it hit me. This is the archetype of the fool at play.

Still disgruntled by the whole affirmative action thing and the idea that the best way to integrate me into the industry is to give me a kindergarten gold star and a Chipotle gift card (... though I sure could go for some fucking Chipotle right now because I'm very hungry) every time I post a PR, I also have to offer that the only way forward is through, and that through is going to hurt. At some point, it's all become a function of sacrifice. You literally are going to have to burn the midnight oil many, many, many, many years, and you're going to get fucked by alarms at some point, and you're going to have to work out like mad and you're going to walk around with sore muscles every day. You're going to have to see many people rolling their eyes at you. You're going to have to put up with being laughed at.

Again, it's the appereance of the archetype of the fool.

Parentheses: I've found that being in good physical shape and literal fucking muscle memory and rote memorization (kata-style repetition of phrases) is actually better for developing skills in tech than actually having a degree from some 30 grand a semester school, so it literally means that you need to lock yourself in a house in the forest for three years and attend to a boxing gym like mad if you want to break through the current insane state of things.

At some point, I realized that no matter how much fucking adderall I'd take or how much I did, or how many hours I put at Amazon, I'd still be getting laughed at and punked on and tortured at the end of the day, and my friends, that's when the archetype of the fool, chthonically, rose from the depths of my soul, and it made me turn into something else. I sort of realized that if what I did didn't truly matter and people were going to throw shit at me no matter what, then I was truly free to pursue what I wanted. It unleashed this roaring energy that powers everything I do now.

It renders you alone, too, but (not being melodramatic here) at some point you sort of Accept your loneliness (not making it about me here, but you do really sort of Accept it). There's a part of me that thinks that this whole fetishism of the rugged individualist life that we're currently undergoing is vicious, sick and depraved, but it does feel better than the contrary. It still makes me unhappy, but the mature kind of unhappy, you know? Like there's an inner angel that sees everything through the eyes of the Logos, of eternity, inside me, and he's in command.

I've been reading "The Labyrinth of Solitude" by Octavio Paz and it's fantastic how he gets it all down perfectly. The Mexican is de-facto schizoid, an in-between worlds, a pariah that has to stick together to survive, a race whose divine Mother has abandoned it. It's better to be alone than to be in the company of Jezebels and Nimrods anyway. And things do actually change at some point. Nothing ever stays the same, you know, and there's a lot of people who really do care about you and who are fun to be around out there for you (as trite and platitudical as this sounds).

In the meantime: keep doing stupid shit. You'll be amazed at the results one day. Things are not going to change at large. Just do the most with the hands you've been given.

#works

[akaraboonline]

10 Sexless Locations To Find Love

Everyone has read about the elaborate displays of affection. On jumbotrons, boyfriends make proposals, or they hire planes to carry banners. Exotic holidays and pricey restaurant dinners are planned by lovers. I've been a dating coach and advice columnist for many years, and even now I'm still astounded by the number of men and women who lament their dating woes. The best dating advise I can give, in my opinion, is that both sexes need to learn how to communicate openly with one another without making snap decisions or destroying potentially positive relationships out of ingrained anxieties. However, it can be simpler said than done. Lack of originality in figuring out how and where to meet new people in their quest to discover true love is one difficult issue that both men and women deal with. Pew Research found that while the number is greater for the LGBTQ community, only one in ten Americans started a committed relationship with someone they met online. According to a 2015 Mic article, "more 18 to 34-year-olds met their current significant others through mutual friends than through any other way, including dating apps. Nearly 39% of respondents said they met "through friends in common," closely followed by 22% who said they met "out in a social setting." But in what social contexts should you look for a love relationship?

Where to look for love (hint: not in bars or clubs)

10 Sexless Locations To Find Love The bar and club scene is often the most obvious option, but no matter how you look at it, this is "one night stand" territory. There will always be the odd person who meets someone in a bar and falls in love and commits to them, but in general, it's a short-lived situation. Most people rarely contact the number they still have in their coat pocket from the previous night when they wake up the next morning. Alcohol abuse and a lack of trust in one's ability to make the call are the main causes of this. Meeting in a lounge or restaurant is preferable, but requires more creativity because there isn't any dancing to entice or seduce people. You must genuinely converse with others. Alcohol is generally a terrific relaxant for many women and it works brilliantly for guys searching for something more physically intimate, which is precisely why the bar scene becomes a repetitively fruitless cycle for so many dissatisfied people. Everybody believes that they will be the exception to the norm, but it is readily available on every corner. Unfortunately, it's usually the same old scenario every weekend when trying to meet quality ladies or men in a pub - everyone wakes up upset and lonely. Here are a few dating tips to keep in mind when meeting new men or women: - If you are using online dating services or apps like OkCupid, Match, Tinder, Bumble, or any of the others, pay attention to what they say they're looking for. Are they looking for love or a relationship? If they don't say so, believe them. - Pay attention to the groupie types who only date or sleep with a certain high-profile type of person. - Opt out of being the constant mistress. Being someone's number two forever ... who would want that? - Watch out for people who only date the perfect and beautiful types. What keeps you looking for love in all the wrong places? True love should not be expensive or painful to find. Establishing a habit will prevent you from exploring other possibilities that might ultimately be successful for you. You won't allow yourself to develop to your full potential if you categorize yourself as one certain "type," and you'll end up stuck. And that's why it's so difficult for you to find love. Be aware of any patterns you may be developing that prevent you from having love in your life because you are terrified of the unknown. Fear may be a potent suppressor. Start small while confronting your demons.

Here are 10 unsexy places to find true love:

1. A driving range or golf course It would be best to play on an executive par-3 course because less serious golfers will use it. 2. Tennis courts Take advantage of the back wall where other lone players will be practicing. 3. The gym Be cordial and attentive to those around you. Say hello, remove your headphones, and keep your distance from anyone else wearing them unless they initiate contact. A strong "I'm not wanting to make friends" signal is wearing headphones. 4. The airport Speak to individuals at eateries or in the holding area. 5. Hiking trails or a beach/park with high foot-traffic If you're an active person looking for someone active — go to active places! 6. Sporting venues Attend a hockey game, soccer match, or golf match. 7. Any social event where people can mingle Never close yourself off in a booth; always keep an open space. As you pass by, smile at the people. 8. A meet-up group Find one of the many groups in your region by checking around, or start your own! It's a fantastic chance to connect with others who share your interests. 9. A course or lesson Discover something fresh. There will be individuals there with shared interests with you. 10. Speed dating events and online dating sites or apps Find the finest dating apps and websites that suit you and your ideals by doing your research. If you lack the fortitude to escape tragic circumstances repeatedly, try watching some of your pals who might have more strength than you and take their lead. Never be embarrassed to ask for assistance or to employ a professional for a brief period of time. To increase your chances of meeting a quality date, switch up your dating routines and locations. Each and every person is worthy of love. Read the full article

[rainydawgradioblog]

Welcome to Groupie! (The Carson Elliott Post)

Welcome to the inaugural post, which officially marks Groupie as part of the RDR cinematic universe! Yes, this humble (two-issue archive) zine has entered the digital realm with 100% less paper and at least 50% more risk of potentially exposing my identity on accident to the musicians I review. Ultimately, good art is not without its risks, and good music reviews/comedy/online dating experiences are not separate from this rule. Here at Groupie, we choose to take those risks (like the shitty terminally-online version of Indiana Jones) because we believe that, at the end of the day, everyone deserves a fan! In this new form of the zine, we’ll still be reviewing musicians from a pool of people I have matched with on different dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge) and give them the feature that they deserve, along with including a “tasting-menu” playlist so you can give their music a try.

With that all being said, the artist we’re reviewing today is Carson Elliott:

When I matched with him, I was immediately shocked because my first thought when I saw his profile was, “hey, isn’t that the guy who did the ‘Say So’ cover on Tiktok” and indeed, I was correct! That is him! Along with doing other short covers of songs like “Hopelessly Devoted to You” and “Let’s Groove,” Elliott has a solidly sized discography of original songs available for streaming on most music platforms. I’ll admit I was briefly starstruck when we first started chatting, but it did not go far because of two major reasons:

1. I absolutely hate texting. 2. Around the time we had matched, I was starting to get very tired of dating apps as a whole (this will be a consistent theme in many other posts).

Transitioning away from my eventual soft ghosting of Elliott to actually reviewing his music, it is the same way in which dating apps have left me slightly dissatisfied and wanting more that his discography also makes me feel. It’s full of the kind of pop music that is sleekly polished but inoffensive. While he genuinely puts in the work to make the auto-tune of the talkbox pulse with some emotion, there’s a lacking of variety in the surrounding track to his singing that ironically makes the songs seem more robotic than the autotune itself. For example, from his newest EP, “Simple Stupid,” the track “Anywhere” is a toy robot-type love ballad, while “Panic” is a dive-into late night anxiety. The themes could not be more different, but the same cannot be said about the actual songs. Objectively the music is catchy, and I don’t find any annoyance with it (I’d like to note my heavy bias of having been an intense Vocaloid listener in elementary school). Still, I would love some sound variance in the songs that could align with the variety of actual themes in Elliott’s work. After all, if your songs all sound the same, it begins to feel like you’re extending your cover work to your own stuff.

Tying everything together: Do I desire to listen to Elliott’s EP in its entirety again? No. Would I match with him again if given the opportunity? Yes! I believe passion is the sexiest trait someone can have. While I can’t always guarantee that I’ll like someone’s music, if they’re into making it, then I’m pretty fucking into them too.

! KEEP SWIPING AND REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE DESERVES A FAN ! - Groupie <3

[shihalyfie]

@sage-striaton replied to your post:

Idk how people can say Frontier has characters that lack depth. Imo it’s a very psychological season. The whole adventure thing is aimed to making them grown in their behaviours and feelings, it’s a big metaphor of their development

I’m sorry for hijacking your response to my post to segue this into another rant of mine, but I want to emphasize that one of my goals with this blog (if I can be said to have any) is that I really, really, really want people to re-examine whether they actually believe in the rhetoric that’s been dominating this fanbase for two decades, or whether there’s more to it. This is especially in regards to the fact that we’re talking a series deliberately written in such a way that it’ll change meaning and nuance as you get older, so it can “grow up” with you in a sense, and yet it seems like -- especially in regards to Adventure through Frontier, due to their position as the oldest series that the majority of the fanbase was elementary or preteen age during -- people are still regurgitating the same rehashed twenty-year-old ideas like they’re undeniable law. It’s one thing if they’re saying it because the series didn’t sit well with them the first time and they don’t want to watch it again, but we’re reaching a recurring problem where it’s sort of “brainwashing” even people who don’t actually believe it but feel compelled to go along with it, or wouldn’t feel that way if it weren’t for peer pressure. Obviously, there are dissenting opinions, and ones that are even very loud about that, but that pressure remains.

The mainstream opinion in the fanbase is that Adventure is untouchable and impervious to any criticism, 02 is its inferior sequel with half-baked characters, Tamers is an auteur work that’s the “deepest” of the original tetralogy due to being dark, and Frontier is devoid of much substance at all. Even those who don’t really believe in this will still be pressured to go alongside it, those who like 02 or Frontier will be pressured to consider it a “guilty pleasure”, and it’s only very recently when certain events revealed that the idea of 02 actually having quite its own fervent and passionate fanbase that likes it on its own merits became properly recognized. (I have actually noticed a huge uptick in 02 fans, especially casual ones, being more shameless in talking about liking it in the last two years; you’re still going to get the obnoxious person “reminding” you how bad it apparently is if you bring it up, but it’s not nearly as prevalent as it used to be.) I’m not talking about whether something is a “good” or “bad” series -- that concept doesn’t really exist to me as much as whether it’s “to one’s tastes” or not, and I think one of the joys of this franchise is that it has things that cater to people with vastly different preferences -- as much as a lot of potential for analysis and intimate thought about these very fascinating series. Even if 02 and Frontier were as shallow or half-baked as they were accused of, I wouldn’t think it’d be shameful to like them for one’s own reasons anyway, but what frustrates me is that I just don’t think that’s true in the first place!!

Not helping is that there’s still a refusal among the fanbase to admit that there were substantial differences in American English dubbing (especially in regards to Adventure and 02), which I don’t mean as a bad thing in the sense that some people prefer to stick only with that dub and consider that version what they want to work with, but in the sense that the treatment of them as “the same thing” has been horribly detrimental when two people, one coming from that dub and one coming from the Japanese version (or a dub more closely based on it), will end up often having an argument doomed to go nowhere because they were never talking about the same thing to begin with. Recently, a friend admitted to me that although they’d switched to the Japanese version a long time ago, they still couldn’t get the image of Daisuke and Takeru having an inherently hostile relationship (they don’t) out of their head due to the influence of that dub, and although they consciously knew better -- at least enough to admit this to me -- it wasn’t helped by the fact that the fanbase itself continues to reinforce this image because of how normalized it is to treat the dub version and the Japanese version as “virtually the same” and for Western fanbase discourse to assume you should be projecting those takes into the Japanese version. If you’re hanging out in English-speaking circles but are working from the Japanese version or a dub directly based off of it, you do actually have to filter out a lot of takes you’re hearing because they won’t actually apply to the version you’re watching, but not a lot of people realize this.

All four of Adventure through Frontier share tons of key staff, especially Seki, known for her focus on wanting the kids in the audience to be able to empathize with and relate to the characters on screen. All four share some of the best character work I’ve seen not only in this franchise, but also in kids’ media in general, and I also stress that a lot of this has a ton of nuance that isn’t always apparent unless you read between the lines. I do understand that a lot of this probably went over our heads as kids, and I won’t say that the choice to execute it this way should be impervious to criticism, but nevertheless, I think it’s important to call attention to the fact it is there, and much of it becomes recognizable once you see it that way; for instance, so much of "it's contradictory character writing!" comes from the fact that the series tries to represent humans in their inconsistent, messy ways, and while it'll feel "messy" from a writing trope perspective, when you think about it as "since this person has this mentality, does it make sense to approach this with this mindset?", suddenly it becomes very consistent. The supposedly “shallow” 02 and Frontier characters will act in ways that match existing psychological profiles meant for actual humans to terrifying degrees, in ways that you might actually recognize even better once you’ve hit adulthood and start intimately understanding things like depression or anxiety in ways you might not have before. Shockingly, “having heart, important themes, and kindness towards the human condition” are completely valid reasons to uplift a creative work in ways distinct from technical writing or cerebrality or how many tropes they subvert or whatever.

On the flip side, people praise Adventure and Tamers for being the naturally “superior” works with better writing, but when it comes to talking about why the writing is supposedly better, a good chunk of the reasons stated don’t actually explain anything substantial, or go back to actually being passive-aggressive dunks on the other series in some form -- it’s because 02 and Frontier’s character writing sucks that badly, or because Adventure had the “best plot” (which may be true if by “best” you mean “easiest to understand”, but that doesn’t mean much to someone who might not be very happy about how its story progression is just a boss rush), or because Tamers is the “deepest” when by “deep” they actually mean “cerebral, dark, and unsubtle about it” without any further meaning (as if Adventure and 02 were idealistic series that never went into anything nuanced and not, say, the fact they went very viciously deep into societal issues between parents and children, psychological horror, and intimate takes on the human condition). I’m personally saying this as someone who does think Adventure and Tamers have a lot to praise in terms of their approaches to realism and the unique aspects each bring to the table, and I feel that people like this are doing them more of a disservice by not bothering to uplift them for any reason that isn’t actually just inherently condescending. I mean, even taking this outside of the original tetralogy for a bit, when I was plugging Appmon earlier, there’s a reason I focused more on its theme and character writing and the use of “dark” writing to convey its sheer range, rather than trying to boil it down to a shallow “it looks cheery but gets really messed up later!”, which is unfortunately an argument I’ve been seeing about it lately.

In the end, when I write my meta, I write it "making a case" for my point of view, and I welcome others to disagree, but if you disagree, I really hope it'll be because you personally disagree, and not because the entire fanbase has been saying otherwise for twenty years and I sound like a radical. I’m not saying that everyone’s consensus takes are completely unfounded, but frankly speaking, this fanbase has some really bad takes, and in the past few years I’ve found it freeing to not only “say what you feel without worrying what others think”, but actually go out of my way to outright try and purge all the preconceived notions and pick only the ones I agree with because I actually agree with them. I encourage you to do it too! And if you do, you might find things about something you like that you didn’t realize before.

#digimon #shiha's ask box #sage-striaton #digimon adventure #digimon adventure 02 #digimon tamers #digimon frontier #shihameta

[giuliadrawsstuff]

Hi Giulia! I hope you're doing okay! I just wanna say that you have a very solid art style--I can definitely distinguish it whenever it appears on my dashboard. Do you have artists or references that influence your very own art? I guess I just wanna ask, what's your artistic process? Thanks and take care!

Hi RK! Aww thanks you're so kind 💜💜 it really means a lot 💜

Mmm I think my greatest influence was Disney, the cartoons obviously but also some Italian comics, in particular W.I.T.C.H. (five highschool girls that obtain superpowers and can communicate with the four elements) and Topolino (various stories of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and all their friends) and I used to copy every possible drawing available hahha All the various issues are drawn by different artists, so I got to see a lot of variety of styles and pick the ones I preferred or better even pick the bits of each I liked and make them mine. Topolino in particular has multiple stories in a single issue and comes out weekly, so I had lots and lots of material to look at. I had my subscription until 2 years ago honestly hahah but I stopped for lack of shelves in my room 😂

And then during university so like 4/5 years ago I bought some video tutorials by Disney artist Aaron Blaise (he's the director of Brother Bear but he worked on Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King and other movies) and those really were a booster because I got to study anatomy and character design and drawing lots of animals. I still buy his stuff whenever he adds something interesting, he's an excellent teacher. And I get to watch them all the times I want so I can review weak spots or more difficult points.

As for the drawing process, well first I try and find a pose, I collect everything available that inspires me from stars Instagram posts or tweets, to drawings of other artists (obviously if the pose I finally make is identical to the original I add the reference to the post) to movie GIFs on Tumblr or official art. Oh and Pinterest too, that’s a goldmine, but I always end up finding new stuff that distracts me and not what I was originally looking for haha

Then I sketch on paper or on Photoshop depending on the mood and time, lately I can't even watch a movie in peace because my hands itch because I need to draw. So in this case I use paper.

Like these new ones look what a mess they are and very unfinished. It mostly to just jot down the idea so I don't forget it.

And since I always make a mess of it, Photoshop is a blessing. I allows me to change stuff how many times I want, for ex if the head is too big I can select it and make it smaller, it allows me to flip the drawing which is one of the most useful things ever because watching your drawing mirrored makes all the horrors pop up, I've lost count of how many wrong eyes or super long arms I had to correct. Plus I can work on different layers so I usually have one layer for the head (even 2 or 3 like for Hange because they have bangs and ponytail that are tough and glasses) then one torso, two for the arms and so on. I only merge all layers into one lineart when I'm sure it's good to go.

And then I add flat colours and logos and stuff if needed (like the wings of freedom patches or blood).

Like this is flat colours (I know you know Bojack from your Diane profile pic, which I've always loved from the first moment I saw it btw 💜 I love that show). This one stays like this because Bojack has a very simple line and pretty much no shadows unless needed. But otherwise I always add them.

But before making the shadows I tend to decide a background if needed or if I hadn't already one in mind. And the shadows colour tends to pair with the BG, but the general one is brownish (I use the same colour I use for Levi's bags under his eyes 😂 but set it to multiply so it gets darker but you can still see what's beneath).

Like this below.

I don't do many backgrounds by hand, i made one for my Secret Santa but usually I use photos or pictures (AOT is perfect for example because being a cartoon it fits with my style, with real photos I have to be more careful because it might collide instead of becoming part of the drawing) unless there's an object in real interaction with the characters.

For example this one below. The tree on which they sit was already in the frame (that's actually what gave me the idea of putting them on the branches) I tried using it like that but there was too much difference so I drew the tree myself. The rest is the real shot but blurred. Helps focusing on the characters.

Puff I think I'm done hahha sorry it came out longer that expected 😂😂 I hope the drawings make it less boring hahhaha

Anyway thanks for asking 💜💜 and if you have suggestions be sure to drop them by 💜

#my art #ask #drawing process #digital art

[fridayfirefly]

The Art of Debate

Read on AO3

Written for Timari January Day 29 - Debate Competition

@timari-month-event

Marinette had always had a gift with words. The ability to use her words to convince people to do what she wanted came naturally to her. At the age of five, Marinette convinced her kindergarten teacher to take their whole class to get ice cream. At the age of thirteen, she joined her first debate team and was a crucial part of the winning debate that got her team third place in Regionals. Two years later, she was the captain of her high school debate team, and they were competing all over France. Two years after that, in her last year of high school, Marinette's team qualified for an international debate competition that took them all around the world. The championship debate, between Francois Dupont Academy and Gotham Academy, was to be held in Gotham.

Marinette had faith in her team that they would win. The team of ten debaters practiced every afternoon for months, led by Marinette and her co-captain Lila.

Lila had been an unexpected addition to the team, given that Marinette and Lila had gotten off to a bad start when Lila first joined her class. However, after witnessing Lila so thoroughly convince the class of a lie so outrageous that Marinette could hardly believe that anyone with half a brain would see right through it, Marinette realized that Lila's skills could be put to good use. Marinette offered the Italian girl a deal. If Lila joined the debate team and promised to never use her lies to cause direct harm, Marinette would no longer call her out of her harmless lies. Lila agreed, and quickly became one of their key debaters.

Over time, Lila started lying less and less, as she realized that she didn't need to lie to make friends. Two years after the first joined the debate team, Lila stayed after practice and offered Marinette a deal. Lila would never lie again if Marinette made her co-captain of the debate team. In full faith, Marinette agreed. She had seen the change in Lila and knew that there was a chance that they might even become friends.

"How's practice going?" asked Marinette as Lila joined her at the front of the classroom. Marinette was going over the paperwork for their upcoming championship debate while Lila was running practice. Their team members were hard at work: Aurore and Mireille were debating net neutrality, Kagami and Ivan were debating the right to own firearms, Sabrina and Nathanial were debating the morality of abortion, and Max and Marc were debating the ethics of medically assisted suicide.

"It's going well. I have everyone partnered up, working on either the affirmative or negative position. Then they'll split into either the research group or the public speaking group, based on what skills they need to improve on."

Marinette smiled. "We're going to win this, I just know it."

Lila gave her a devious smile back. "As if I would let us lose."

---

In the hallway of the Gotham Grand Hotel, outside of the ballroom where the debate tournament was being held, Marinette fed US dollar bills into a vending machine. "Diet coke is... A7." Marinette pressed the button and waited as the machine refused to give her the drink. "Are you serious?" sighed Marinette.

"Need some help?" asked a dark-haired boy in a sweater with an iron-on patch reading Gotham Preparatory Academy Debate Team. He was cute, in a nerdy kind of way. Nerdy wasn't Marinette's usual type, but she could see the appeal with the boy in front of her.

"I gave the machine my money but it won't give me my drink, and my debate - our debate, actually - starts in just a few minutes."

"I'll let you in on a secret. You aren't supposed to shake it, but if you do it anyway..." the boy shook the machine, and Marinette's diet coke tumbled down into the tray below.

Marinette smiled. "Thank you! I'm Marinette Dupain-Cheng, by the way. I'm co-captain of the team from Françoise Dupont."

"Timothy Drake, but you can call me Tim. I look forward to seeing you debate."

"Thanks, you too." Marinette watched as Tim turned and left, jogging to catch up with one of his teammates, a blonde girl who glanced over towards Marinette with a knowing smile on her face. Any other day, Marinette would have spent a little more of her attention on Tim, but today she knew she had to focus. Marinette had a debate to win.

---

"We live in a world facing an incredible number of challenges. However, there is one challenge that often sticks out among the rest as the most pressing issue, with much debate over its severity. Is climate change the greatest threat facing humanity today? Collège Françoise Dupont, you will be arguing the affirmative. Gotham Preparatory Academy, you will be arguing the negative.

Kagami and Max went up first, two excellent debaters, and while the students from Gotham were certainly good, they were no match for Kagami and Max. Kagami had the self-assured confidence to never show any doubt about the validity of her claims and Max had the raw knowledge to win any debate through the sheer amount of factual evidence he could bring to the table. The first round went to Kagami and Max, giving Françoise Dupont a strong start.

As Marinette high-fived Kagami and Max, she caught a glimpse of Tim out of the corner of her eye. He was staring at her with a look on his face that Marinette couldn't quite decipher - confusion or frustration or some mix of the two. Either way, Marinette didn't particularly enjoy being stared at. She met his eyes and stared right back, narrowing her eyes. Tim looked away, a slight flush to his face. Marinette was left feeling more confused than anything else. Why was Tim staring at her, and why with such an odd look on his face?

Three more rounds of debate followed, with wins alternating between Collège Françoise Dupont and Gotham Academy. The schools were tied two and two by the final round, but Marinette couldn't quite stay focused on the debate. The only thing she could focus on was Tim. Watching him in her periphery, Marinette could see him having a heated exchange with one of the girls on his team, the blonde that Marinette had noticed earlier.

"Focus, Marinette!" hissed Lila. "This is the final round, and you and I are up."

The announcer stepped up to the microphone to announce the topic of debate. "This topic has been in the news a lot these past few weeks, with the introduction of the Superhero Registration Act. Though most news sources consider it unlikely that the bill will pass, it raises the question which you will be debating today: Should the government have a larger role in regulating the actions of vigilante superheroes? Gotham Preparatory Academy, you will be arguing the affirmative. Françoise Dupont, you will be arguing the negative."

Marinette shared a look with Lila, who was already smirking. "No way we lose this one," Lila mouthed.

Marinette nodded, narrowing her eyes at the opposing team. Even if Tim was cute, there was no way she was losing.

The affirmative started the debate, meaning that the team from Gotham spoke first. Stephanie Brown, Tim's blonde teammate from earlier, began with a lecture about a lack of accountability associated with vigilante justice. It was a flimsy argument if you knew where to poke holes in it. Luckily, that was what Marinette was best at.

"It's been universally accepted that superheroes are a necessary part of our current culture. The one job a superhero has is to save as many lives as possible. How are they supposed to complete that one job if there is constant government restriction and intervention? We've all watched for years as superheroes operated outside of the government - this is because superheroes don't need to be regulated. In addition, I would like to ask: in what way do superheroes need to be more accountable? Our world has seen time and time again that the superhero community keeps itself in check. When one superhero starts to stray from the path of good, they are held accountable by their fellow superheroes."

The debate continued, back and forth between Marinette, Tim, Lila, and Stephanie. With bated breath, Marinette waited for the results of the round to be announced.

"The final round goes to... Collège Françoise Dupont!"

"We did it!" cheered Marinette, as she got up to congratulate her teammates. She celebrated with the rest of her team but still couldn't shake her odd feeling about Tim Drake. Something wasn't right with him, and Marinette was going to figure out what it was.

There was a celebratory banquet after the competition, in which the awards would be given out and the organizers would give their speeches. As Marinette entered the banquet hall she was Tim slip out of the banquet hall and into the hallway at the other side of the room. She made the snap decision to follow him, maneuvering herself through crowds of people until she got to the right exit.

As Marinette turned down the hallway, she caught Tim whispering into his phone in the hallway. As soon as Tim caught sight of her he quickly hung up his phone and shoved it in his pocket. Marinette approached him, eyes narrowing. "Why were you staring at me?"

Tim glanced around to see if anyone else was around, then blurted out, "You're Ladybug."

Marinette froze. That was not what she expected to hear. "I- I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"You're the Parisian superhero, Ladybug. It all makes sense - black hair, blue eyes, same approximate height and weight. You're incredibly passionate about superheroes - that's what tipped me off in the first place. To top it all off, you're from the same school that Ladybug has a nearly instantaneous response time for dealing with akumas that arise out of it. I didn't see anyone on your team who fit the profile of Chat Noir, but I guarantee that if I were to snoop around online I could find a picture of you with a blonde-haired green-eyed boy." Tim's rapid-fire analysis left Marinette with no chance to refute his claims.

"You figured all of that out during our hour-long debate tournament?"

Tim nodded slowly. "I'm a bit of a detective, myself. In fact, compared to some of my other detective work, figuring out that you were a superhero was easy."

"You're the first person to ever deduce that I'm Ladybug - including my friends, parents, and Chat Noir himself - and all you have to say for yourself is that it was easy?" exclaimed Marinette.

Tim shrugged awkwardly, seeming to have no words to defend himself. Or perhaps it was because he didn't trust himself to say anything, because he had already revealed more than he had intended to. At that point, Marinette started to make her own deductions. The ease at which he had figured out that she was Ladybug. The fact that he had alluded to making other deductions comparable to figuring out Marinette's Ladybug secret. His knowledge of Ladybug - a minor superhero from across the globe - to the extent that he knew not only her approximate height and weight but her reaction times for akumatizations in different areas of Paris. The pieces started coming together in Marinette's mind. Her eyes narrowed as she accused, "You're a superhero too, Timothy Drake. Or, at the very least, you've worked with superheroes before."

Tim took the accusation even less gracefully than Marinette did, shaking his head rapidly as he backed up a few paces. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. Me? A superhero? No way!" Tim ended his babbling with a nervous laugh.

Marinette smiled pleasantly, pleased with herself. Although it wasn't ideal that a stranger knew her secret identity, she now knew that Tim wouldn't be spilling her secret to anyone, not when Marinette had the exact same dirt on him. "I'll see you around, Tim." Marinette whipped around and started to walk away.

"Wait, wait, wait! Marinette!" Tim called out.

Marinette tried to suppress the smile on her face as she walked back into the banquet hall. She was beginning to like Tim, and she could tell that this wouldn't be the last she saw of him. Now, all she had to do was get on even footing with him. Perhaps, by figuring out his secret identity. Which, Marinette figured, wouldn't be too difficult. After all, how many superheroes could Gotham possibly have?

(Cut to: Marinette, back at her hotel room, trying to tell the different members of the Batfamily apart. "How do they all have black hair and blue eyes? How is that even possible?")

#maribat #timari #timinette #timari january #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Tim Drake #one-shot #miraculous ladybug fanfic #fanfic #my work

[literateleah]

the paradox of emily prentiss’ audience perception and character design

some of y’all about to be real mad at me, but it must be said:

emily prentiss’ character design makes no sense: my personal opinion + an objective analysis

i think it can be challenging to separate the versions of characters we have in our little brains from actual canon content, but doing so is important for understanding what those characters are truly like, especially within the context of their environment and in contrast to others around them. plus developing a deeper understanding of the media we consume is super fun and interesting! with that being said: emily prentiss should not work for the fbi and here’s why (in three parts regarding who’s responsible: cbs, paget, and fans) (sit down and grab a snack i promise this is over 3k words)

quick disclaimer: i don’t dislike emily at all! that’s my girl, i just looked closer and realized some funky things the writers did and felt the need to analyze her of course: so let’s get into it

part one: what cbs did

cbs set the stage for emily’s introduction on the heels of the departure of lola glaudini as elle greenaway! lola has clarified that she decided to leave the show because filming in los angeles was not the best environment for her personally, and after one successful season on a major network (but not much established long term plot or drama beyond elle’s departure as a character) a consistent ensemble cast was required- particularly because the bau had been criticized for being predominantly male in the first few episodes of the show and not much development was given to penelope or jj yet. enter emily prentiss.

for the duration of seasons 2-3ish, emily was framed as a chip off the block that was elle greenaway, just slightly…richer? in her first few episodes emily was hesitantly polite but ambitious, clean cut, intellectually concise and held her own within the team. she seemed equal parts intimidated and frustrated by her male superiors (gideon, hotch) but certainly proves herself among other profilers. her childhood was explored only within reference to her strained relationship with her mother (which was only ever referenced once more after the fact) and we received a short overview of her educational and career history in her first few episodes. emily fit right into the hole elle had left, and didn’t have many major storylines yet.

seasons 4-6 brought a bit more development and depth to emily’s character! she begins dropping more snarky remarks, one liners, and socially deepening her relationships with the other team members. this seems more within the lines of elle’s design, but emily arguably took more time to grow into her place within the team. during the foyet arc she was vulnerable and supportive, and the doyle arc gave her some independence and agency she didn’t have previously. this era also solidified her appearance and persona as more edgy, which falls in line with general fanon perception of her character (especially when compared to jj or penelope). i can’t address this era or season 7 without mentioning that cbs was actively trying to remove paget from the cast, similar to how they did to aj cook as well. paget has spoken about this instance before, and i believe it slightly affected her portrayal of her character, and “lauren” was somewhat of a goodbye for both paget and emily (thus why she wished for mgg to direct since they were best friends).

season 7: in my opinion, one of the best seasons for emily. she was wisened and deeply wounded by her experiences with doyle, which was understandable of course. she returned to the team she loved and learned to appreciate life in a different way, remaining mature during this time period as well! though her departure was a bit less than graceful and sudden at the end of this season, it made sense compared to some other exits the team had seen.

now *sigh* all the rest.

paget as emily appears in two separate guest appearances (once in s9 and once in s11, and she is referenced offscreen as well) before permanently reprising her role as unit chief of the bau. these appearances were most likely to boost ratings and get the team back together (i.e. 200) or just to pepper in international cases (tribute). emily’s personality remains pretty consistent here, just more mature and comfortable in leadership positions (seeing as she is running an entire branch of an international law enforcement organization). then season 12 hit.

upon the departure of thomas gibson as hotch, cbs reached out to paget to see if she would be interested in fulfilling her role as emily within a longer term unit chief position. i’ll get into why this is wack in a few paragraphs, but the remainder of her time on the show is spent on a mature portrayal that seems very distant from her previous versions. emily is more authoritative, gives orders with ease, and has no qualms about leading a team of agents or even receiving promotion offers as director of the entire bureau.

thus concludes a general summary of the canon content cbs gave us as viewers. now let's talk about what they didn’t give us, regrettably

the primary aspect of emily’s design that comes to mind for many is her queer coding. though not much was to be expected from cbs, a prime time cable tv network, each of her relationships on the show (all with men) seemed oddly forced, and without much chemistry as compared to the SOs of other main characters. rumors of scrapped plotlines have floated around about what may have been, but the ultimate lack of acknowledgement of any queer characters in the main ensemble still leaves a feeling of disappointment to audiences, and leaves more to be desired as for how emily navigates social bonds.

part two (sidebar): what paget did

i think it could be agreed within audiences that paget brewster’s portrayal of emily made the role what it was! her dry witty delivery and emotional prowess combined with sitcom acting experience made her performance a mainstay for years. i think she did the best she could with a confusing and at times flat characterization, and brought the role to life.

paget also heavily contributes to fanon indirectly with her comments outside of the show (press, cameos, twitter etc). her general continued interest and fondness for the role post production affects fan perception, particularly in what she chooses to elevate and comment on. she and aj have both spoken about viewing jemily content, and paget and thomas have both also commented on hotchniss. most cast members feel free to comment on their characters in the appropriate timing, and seem open to discussing fanon ships and theories outside of canon!

part three: what fanon did

as we can tell from this fan space as well as the presence on insta, tik tok and twitter, fans LATCHED onto emily super quickly. she’s remained a favorite over the years, and this fan persistence is what brought her back so many times after leaving (so many times). in my opinion, queer coding and a bolder female trope (in contrast to her female counterparts) are the main pulls because they resonated with so many fans- new and old. with that being said, newer fans of the show in the past year in particular have been heavily influential in fanon, solely because of the large influx of fan content and popularity of it.

fan content began to take coding and bite size moments and snippets from the show as canon, and cemented it into much of the content and discourse they created. these small pieces of emily’s character are significant, but have become magnified by how easily they are to share and edit. for example, a collection of catchy one liners from emily over the seasons makes for a great video edit intro, or gifset! there’s absolutely no problem with this content, it just all combines to create a certain fanon perception no character escapes (this isn’t a phenomenon limited to emily or the cm fandom!)

these droves of content also solidified emily’s personality as much more defined, but at the same time, simplified it in a way that’s slightly harder to explain.

fanon: more emo/goth than canon basis

fanon: more introverted/anti social than canon basis

fanon: more violent/chaotic when canon emily is relatively well mannered and doesn’t start many conflicts (particularly in the workspace)

fanon: much less maternal when canon emily displays desire on multiple occasions (even crossing professional borders) for children, particularly teenage girls (possibly projection)

(again, nothing wrong with this interpretation at all and it still varies! This is just a generalization based on most of the popular content i have seen)

part 4: why it doesn’t work

let me start with this: emily prentiss does not like her job.

we don’t receive much in depth information about emily’s internal feelings and thoughts towards her mother beyond resentment. this stems from wanting to make it on her own, as a professional and as an individual (cough cough college deposits). this makes emily’s insistence on proving herself to authority figures in her earlier seasons is interesting to watch in different circumstances. she cites her experience and denies help from her mother when justifying her placement in the bau to hotch, she is extra vigilant about being helpful on her first case with gideon, etc. nevertheless, emily forges her own path outside of diplomacy and becomes a successful profiler and agent, with the help of her privilege, wealth and name whether she likes it or not. but if we read between the lines and fill in the blanks cbs neglected, these ambitions may subconsciously be oriented towards pleasing her mother.

example one: emily’s authority issues go further than just “rebellion” or “anarchy”, she frequently questions the ethics and sustainability of the work that the bau does. every team member does this, but emily much more so than anybody else.

in “amplification”, emily almost breaks federal protocol to inform civilians of anthrax threats. she butts heads with both hotch and rossi on this front, and ends the episode with having a conversation with rossi about the ethics of lying in their line of work. emily resigns to a solemn “it be like that” and moves along, accepting this reality.

on multiple different occasions emily laments to derek about the darkness she sees on the job, and it’s shown that this gets to her quickly on particularly bad cases. this is another contradiction of the design that she can supposedly “compartmentalize” better than others on the team, when she cannot unless the lives of others are at risk (doyle arc, s7 finale).

emily also responds in this way to many cases involving children, a similarity to jj many don’t notice upon first watching the series. “seven seconds” and “children of the dark” come to mind, during the latter in which emily is prepared to cross multiple professional lines to adopt a teenage girl left orphaned by the case, until hotch stops her and establishes that her emotions can’t rule her judgement on the job. regardless of hotch’s thoughts about her attempted caretaking abilities, these actions and impulses deeply contradict the typical bureaucratic pathways of the work the bau does.

the looming reputation of her mother’s diplomatic history hangs over emily, and after going to law school and working for the cia, she most likely did want to forge her own path as far away from being a socialite: being a spy. her inner nature doesn’t always reflect this profession, and leads me to believe that with her knowledge of psychology, law procedure and care for children: emily prentiss might be more inclined to working in social work, placing suffering children and teenagers in homes they deserve.

and finally, the hill i will die on: emily prentiss was an bad unit chief

this wonderful post touches on my general sentiment, but there were many reasons as to why emily prentiss’ career arc makes little to no sense (plot holes included).

first: her background. emily attended chesapeake bay university as well as yale and achieved a ba in criminal justice. keep in mind that though timelines evidently don’t exist in the cm universe, emily prentiss is ONE YEAR older than aaron hotchner (for context). in her first episode, she professes that she has worked for the bureau for a little under ten years in midwestern offices- something the audience laters knows to not be true. emily worked with the cia and interpol as a part of a profiling team and undercover agent up until roughly TWO YEARS before her canon introduction. plot holes and time gaps aside, this makes me wonder, why didn’t she just say the cia was a backstop without revealing the highly confidential nature of her work with doyle (similar to jj’s state department backstop and cover story)? penelope or hotch could have easily accessed her file and seen that she did not in fact have experience with the bureau in midwestern offices recently, and given the fact that erin strauss set up her bau placement, i’m presuming these formalities or references were overlooked.

second: her experience within the team. emily worked as a part of the bau with the bureau for roughly 6 or 7 years. after this, she is invited to run the entire london branch of interpol, one of the most renowned international law enforcement organizations. i’m surely not the most knowledgeable on requirements or standard timelines for such matters, but with the fact that emily had never led a team in her life (not in the bau or interpol previously) and had roughly 10 years of field experience, i don’t believe she would have ever realistically been considered eligible to run the whole london department.

third: her return to the bureau. fanon depiction of their relationship aside, if you believe aaron hotchner’s last wish before going into witsec was to entrust his team to emily prentiss, you’re dead mistaken. bringing emily back was clearly a pull for ratings after the loss of two main characters (hotch and derek), but logistically a bad decision. let’s suppose emily has had 4 or 5 years of experience in london now, this established authority position would be unlikely to change at the drop of a hat, even for old teammates or friends. also considering how close they were after a decade of working closely in bureaucratic and field contexts, i firmly believe hotch would have referred jj for the job of unit chief but that’s another discussion for another time.

emily’s reign as unit chief is odd, because of the many chaotic storylines crammed into it. but amidst bad writing and viewings plummeting, emily’s character is completely flattened. completely. emily is unrecognizable, both in appearance (that god awful wig) and personality. at times she acts as a complete wise authority, giving orders and delegating local authorities as hotch did. but at other times she makes multiple illegal, emotional, and incorrect judgement calls based on personal circumstances that lead to further chaos (deleting the recording of her and reid’s mexico conversation and reprimanding luke in “luke” for the exact same thing she did in season 6 even though she enabled her to do so come to mind).

i’m not sure if this is due to paget trying to find her footing in the role again, or the writer’s bad decisions towards the end of the show wrecking any previous design for their ensemble. then, there’s the infamous “wheels up” scene in s13e1. notoriously cringey, this seems like a vague caricature of something rossi would say many years in the past (the same goes for her pep talk in “red light” in the hunt for diana reid). these moments are meant to mature emily in the audience’s eye, but instead completely removed her from who we understood her to be, and made her an unreliable leader.

part five: and why it does

in theory, emily was a bolder foil to jj, similar to elle who she arguably replaced at first. she came into her own, and stands as a more uniquely developed character than almost any other in the main ensemble. she isn’t as maternal or domestically inspiring as canon jj, less bright and sunny than penelope, not quite as stoic or intimidating as derek or hotch. And yet at the same time, she’s a fairly blank slate. stripping fanon content away entirely, canon emily has few defining traits (all of which are constantly changing), and that may be the key to why we love her so much.

#long post #emily prentiss #ITS HERE #and its a doozy #read if you'd like #leah writes #if there's typos i apologize #this was a fever dream

[romanceboys]

(interview) gq korea february issue 2021 — shinee minho “i’m still as passionate as ever”

1. i heard that your schedule ran until dawn today. you still look energetic.  no matter how exhausted i am, my condition improves once i wake up and take a shower. because it’s like the usual morning routine. 2. you take pride in the fact that your stamina is second to none, right? it reminded me of something you said long ago. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that it’s my pride, but i do know my stamina is stronger than most. my energetic appearance is my positive characteristic as well. 3. moreover, it hasn’t been long since you were discharged from the marines.  well, it seems like my stamina has gotten better. hahaha. 4. there must be a lot that you want to do. what do you enjoy doing the most these days? since it’s not the kind of situation where i can roam about freely, i’ve been spending a lot of time with my family. i was with them on christmas and new year’s. i’d barely done this since debut so i think it was a good thing. even in the military, i missed my people the most. 5. that must be why on the day of your discharge you made a surprise appearance at taemin’s music broadcast waiting room. in your military uniform.  i rushed straight from pohang. the shinee members were gathered to support taemin, and the staff that had been with us for over ten years was present too. when i looked back on shinee’s activities in the military, the very fun and enjoyable memories felt vague, but on that day they became clear to me right away. this is why we’ve continued together for so long. 6. what do you talk about with your members? since we’re currently preparing for our album, we’ve been talking about us as a team a lot. things like shinee’s (future) direction and what we ought to show. 7. did you figure something out? up till now shinee has often attempted unique and novel challenges, musically and stylistically. there were times when things were derived from what we did first, or even times when we had to question ourselves “is this okay?” before taking a bold step. but because we're an idol group, we folded under inevitable stereotypes and could not ignore them. however, we now collectively agree on preserving our artistic aspect well in order to show off a more distinct musical colour. 8. agreed. can you tell us which song represents shinee’s identity? the title track of the 4th album ‘view’ was shinee’s turning point. prior to this, the group was mostly known for its strength in performance, but through this song we were able to show the type of musical colour we pursued. we tried deep house at a time when the genre was unknown to k-pop and though it was not done without reservations, we got the response we expected. it’s basically what the entire (odd) album stands for. 9. besides music or performance, is there any other scene that can portray shinee well? having overcome many obstacles, we can’t define ourselves simply by saying ‘yes, this is us.’ rather, if there were to be a documentary made on shinee, i wonder how it’d be like to have the opening scene unveil the members’ perfectly human state instead of their moments of glory. for instance, saying whatever i want to without hesitation. without worrying, without walking on eggshells.  10. are you a quiet person? though i do joke around easily, i try to be careful with my words. i’m more of a listener than a talker. 11. you lived entirely as choi minho in the military. did you live true to yourself or were you able to discover a new side? it’s both. i had a lot of time for introspection. i reflected on the time spent and thought about what was good or disappointing, it unveiled a side of me that i hadn’t even considered while working as shinee minho. rather than saying it changed me, i was able to understand myself more definitively as a person. what i could be honest about and careful with with people became clear to me, i also realised that my strengths can become my weaknesses. 12. what made you think that? i thought i had an outgoing personality, but in retrospect i was more concerned about the people around me than myself. the other party can only be at ease if i’m comfortable... i was so busy being considerate that i ended up becoming stressed without realising. 13. an upright and serious image comes to mind when we say minho, turns out there was a complicated reason for it. it’s because i wasn’t even aware of it. i believe it’s something i need to work on to become a better person. this is also why i’m looking forward to my thirties. i’m curious about the areas i’ll mature in. 14. among the expressions that describe minho are passion and giving it your all. when do you think was your most passionate era? when i debuted as shinee, practicing blindly and then promoting made me feel like i was lacking a lot which affected my confidence. after our first concert, however, i became less anxious and worried. i realised that there were many fans who supported me. all i could think of was that i had to give it my best. my passion from back then is still the same as ever. it’s my understanding that i’ve come all the way to the present without cooling down. 15. what meaning does passion hold for you? does it mean that you’re very ambitious/greedy? i used to think passion and ambition meant the same thing. i was very certain that you could achieve anything if you were ambitious enough and worked hard. i hypnotized myself into believing that because i wanted it so badly, not because i was being reckless. as i started gaining more experience, i began to differentiate between the two. if passion means doing what you can to the best of your abilities, then greed is limiting yourself when you try something new because you wonder whether you can do it well. and that is why confidence is important. if you’re confident, then you can carry greed with a positive energy. 16. have you now gotten used to acting and promoting as shinee at the same time? at first i thought i could do it even if it was difficult. turns out that wasn’t the case. killing two birds with one stone wasn’t as easy as i thought. i don’t want to let either go. instead of saying yes it’s hard or i’m disappointed in the results, i believe this is a problem i need to solve. 17. your first activity after discharge was acting. you made a special appearance in the drama ‘lovestruck in the city,’ what was your first line? “please wear this.” i cannot forget it. 18. why not? one of my favourite words is ‘first.’ your first experiences are always unforgettable. seconds are usually a vague memory. that’s why firsts are extremely meaningful. standing before the camera for the first time after discharge felt like i was starting anew. the scene wasn’t even that hard, but i was very nervous. just like the first time i acted, i vividly remember the day’s situation, people, the atmosphere, and the weather. 19. do you remember your first scene as well? it’s been more than a decade.  it was a one-episode short drama; the scene was filmed inside a tow truck. i don’t remember my line very well, but the actors, the hustle and bustle of the staff outside the window, the glaring sunlight, the tow truck i sat in for the first time are all still very vivid. i try not to forget it. 20. do you remember the first praise you received for your acting?  hm, many people around me say nice things, but i’ve never considered those as compliments. it’s because i don’t think i’ve done anything praiseworthy yet. so let’s just say my first praise doesn’t exist for now. 21. that is a very objective yet cool answer. then what do you think is something you need courage to do?  everyday things.... like cooking. i can’t bring myself to even think about it, but i should attempt it before it’s too late. 22. by the way, you started sns. you did say in an interview that you did not see the need for socials, so what changed your mind? i received so many letters from fans in the military. i read every single one of them, and in most of them fans asked me to share my daily life through sns. though i did joke around saying that i’d rather hold a personal photo exhibition than create socials, i got one as a present for fans who spent two years waiting for me. but i’m not sure if i can manage it well. 23. do you tend to record your personal life through pictures like others? haha. not at all. i’m working towards it these days. 24. when was your sns profile picture taken?  when i was three or four years old. i racked my brain over this too. whether to upload a sefie or to go for a cool vibe. 

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

#shinee #minho #interview #210121 #translations #gq korea february issue 2021 #e:the story of light epilogue

[ouyangzizhensdad]

(1/2) isn't it hypocritical of you to pick on cql fans for their purposeful misreading of canon (which some do, i'm not denying that at all) and then turn around and do that to someone who hasn't said anything critical of mdzs? that person was just listing the merits of each adaptation and you just tore into them as if them saying that cql has any merits at all is an insult to mdzs.

2/2 for example, you pick on the three bows thing, but that is novel canon too and cql shows multiple instances of people bowing in respect only twice, so it's not insanely far-fetched that the three bows are read as an acknowledgement of their marital status. anyway, you're perfectly free to see it as bows of respect, but there's little need to ridicule someone who says they see it differently and that they like cql because of it.

3/2 and i'm sorry if i'm taking too much of your time, i guess i'm a little upset because i've always seen you as a voice of reason in the fandom. to see you make multiple posts tearing down what is an uncontroversial statement (that canon and all adaptations have their own merits, and people shouldn't be judged for preferring one over the other) is a bit hurtful. you say you don't hate cql, but you certainly seem eager to shit on anyone who has anything nice to say about it? 

Hi anon,

I’m not sure I’d consider it hypocritical. I don’t think I’ve ever operated with the caveat that I should only be critical of the arguments of people who have been critical of the book in turn--I guess the baseline is that I am critical of all things I come across. I am not likewise sure I’ve “torn down” into that person or “ridiculed” them. I’ve quoted one part “all adaptations are equally good” and said (yes, as per usual, in a bitter and pretentious tone): “at least take the subjective route of equally enjoyable”. I don’t see how that’s being extremely mean about cql: my view was more that it irks me, for a lack of a better word, that people truly just push aside all the very real issues at a technical level (aside from anything that has to do with the writing or creative choices) that prevents cql, imo, to be considered comparable to other adaptations like the audio drama or the donghua even if it is not my particular cup of tea--but that this does not mean I said that c/ql cannot be enjoyable. I guess I have my issues with people generally being unable to distinguish with a well-made piece of fiction versus one they enjoyed. And that I am still a little bit flabbergasted that it remains a controversial statement to explain that c/ql, despite trying very hard, has many issues that directly impact it’s ability to stand as a well-made tv series.

Then, I think a few days later, I showed the arguments being leveraged by that same person to argue c/ql was just as good or what it ‘brought’ to the table that the other adaptations didn’t (partly because they were representative of many others I had encounter) and ‘responded’ to them one by one underlining how I was left unconvinced by them. I mentioned how one argument in favour (it includes more emotional scenes of wwx crying and being angry) could be read as a failure of the adaptation to stay true to the characterisation of the main character, who is textually said to rarely cry or get angry. I questioned whether it was such a “win” for c/ql to include more scenes of wq and jyl considering how we can infer why this change too place, and how it focuses on a quantitative reading--it’s less a ‘the book handled female characters sooooo much better’ argument than a a ‘we’re really going to give kudos to a tv series because we saw the female characters more often, regardless of how this impacts their characterisation, agency and impact on the story on a narrative and thematic level or why this change likely was made?’.

Then, the three bows thing. I won’t pretend to be an expert here, but my understanding which has come from discussion with Chinese or chinese-diasporic people, is that the third bow must be to one another (bow to the heaven and earth 一拜天地, to the parents 二拜高堂, then to each other 夫妻对拜). We can consider the three bows a wink-wink from the production team because that was the best they could do in the circumstances, maybe. But can we say that these can really be read as an “acknowledgement of their marital status”? It’s different from the novel because wwx talks about reserving that third bow to one another for later. This relates as well to the way fandom have sort of exaggerated aspects of CQL due to misunderstanding certain cultural or linguistic aspects of it, as we have with people being convinced zhiji must always be a grand romantic declaration. Is it a crime to choose to interpret/headcanon these things that way? Of course not. But does it make for good arguments to argue c/ql brought something special to the table that the other works didn’t? I don’t think so.

Overall, I won’t pretend I don’t have a very bitter and pretentious way of phrasing things but I do wonder if that’s where I consider it gets into ‘ridiculing’ territory--I didn’t call them names or anything, I just responded to their points. But the truth is, as you might think that I am targeting that person, whoever they are, for ‘liking c/ql,’ that’s just how I am in general, about all things: I am critical of any arguments I hear and I have no filter. I’m actually trying to be courteous by keeping my responses to my blog, not reblogging from their posts, cutting off the person’s profile picture or name, etc. because in any case more often than not they simply represent to me an illustrative example. Hell, I even get to re-read how I worded things which makes them come out way better than in real life.

You can of course consider that I was out of line! Perhaps it is the pitfall of considering a person a certain thing. Even if you think of someone a “voice of reason” you might also consider that some of the stuff they do or say is a little bit unreasonable. We all draw lines differently. Just because you generally agree with someone does not mean some of the stuff they say or do won’t make you shake your head in disapproval. And if you dislike these posts of mine but still want to stay for the rest, you can blocklist “brine corner”. Unfortunately, although many have tried to change this, I am an incurable critic who is terminally and brutally honest.

#anon ask