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l0ngschl0ngking · 1 year

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Hold on tight, sugar

Jack “Agent Whiskey” Daniels x f!reader

summary: Jack releases the pent up adrenaline he has…on you

warnings: SMUT (oral - m!receiving, deep throating, vaginal fingering, unprotected p in v, doggy style, spanking, restrains - yeah, the whip- mentions of anal), fluff, Jack reffering to himself in third person -..what’s new, right?-, the ski suit and hat stay ON 3:)

word count: 2.2k

A/N: I’ve never watched Kingsman and probably never will but I wanted to wrikte for Whiskey so I read the plot of the film on wiki. This fic is happening during the time Eggsy and Whiskey are in the cabin except there’s no Eggsy. This is literally just a porn without a plot.

Before you even close the door of the cabin Jack is on you. Clawing at your ski suit, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. Tongue and teeth clashing together, his hands exploring every part of your newly exposed skin. You didn’t even know how you got into this situation.

His hands roaming your body, mouth rasping filthy words into the chilly air. Mustache scraping against your jaw while his teeth leave marks on your skin, his tongue soothing the sting. But oh, you did. You actaully did know how yu got into this situation.

The heated fight you had before arriving at this cabin quickly flashed through your mind but then he is pushing you on your knees - the floor cold and uncomfortable under the weight of you but you do not protest as he hovers above you, his breath uneven.

His gloved hands shakily unzip his ski suit but he doesn’t take it off - oh, no. Only unzipping it low enough to pull his cock out - hard and weeping, the head of it angry red color leaking precum out of it.

“Fucking open up your mouth, sugartits. Before ole’ Jack shoves it in there and makes you gag with it. I’m gonna put your smart mouth to good use.” Looking at him through your lashes you shuffle closer to him, putting both of your hands on his thighs and opening your mouth - sticking your tongue out. The low growl he lets out makes you shiver - and not from the cold.

He inches his cock towards your mouth and when you wrap your lips around the head he throws his head back. You tease him - slowly licking the head and then popping him out of your mouth, licking the under-shaft - you can feel him tensing, repeating the process two or so more times before his hands grip the back of your head and make you take him all at once. You gag and he slowly exhales. One of his hands grips your chin - making you look at him. You try to pull away - the weight of him sits heavy on your tongue and you feel like he is hitting the back of your head. But he just grips your chin harder and you can see the snarl that makes its way onto his face through your blur-teared vision.

“I am gonna pull out but then I am gonna fuck your throat so you won’t be able to speak for days. Okay, sugarplum?” It’s hard to even nod - that’s how hard he is gripping you. He slowly pulls out and you cough feeling like all of the air in your lungs left your body for a moment.

A string of saliva connects you to his cock and Jack curses lowly - wiping it with his gloved hand.

“Fuck, Jack, I-“ he tuts and cuts you off. Slowly stroking his cock in front of you.

“Be quiet. You want to be good for Jack don’t you?” You nod slowly - unsure. You did not imagine him to be so…rough. And you imagined sex with your fellow partner plenty of times, all right.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you? Jack’s gonna take such good take care of you but first you gotta have to open your mouth and relax, sugar. Can you do that?” Yeah, you could do that for him. Anything for him. You had such a huge crush on this man you were pretty sure you’d do anything he asked. As if you hadn’t been doing just that right now…

Opening your mouth he slowly pushes his cock in. Inch by inch and you feel like you will gag - he taps your cheek one, or two times and tells you to relax and so you try to - you do as he says. The little moans he lets out as you take him are fucking worth it and your nails dig into the material of his ski suit - pretty sure he cannot feel a thing. It grounds you and when your nose hits his pubic hair you look at him and he looks fucking wrecked. Sweat rolls down his forehead and his brows are scrunched, flaring his nostrils while he tries to compose himself. You feel the weight of his fingers on your scalp and before you can think too much about why he just doesn’t take the fucking ski suit off he pulls out almost all the way back out and then back into your mouth.

It shocks you but you relax as he says and praises fall out of his lips - “such a good fucking girl I knew you could take ole’ Jack’s cock. Feels so fucking good.” he mumbles more and you close your eyes, enjoying the praise that is directed to you. He puts one of his hands on your throat moaning out when he puts pressure on it.

“Fuck, I feel I’m right here. Does it make you feel good that I’m almost in your fucking stomach? That ole’ Jack has such a big cock?” The things he says are downright sinful and he looks so lost that you are pretty sure he doesn’t know what he is saying. “Making me feel so good, baby. Your throat was made for my cock.” You moan around him and bob your head as you want to make him feel even better. You want to tell him that he can fuck your throat harder, faster however he wants - that you are all his to use.

One of your hands snakes between your legs and you are fucking soaked - just from someone using you as their little fuck toy. Putting two fingers inside you, you curl them and Jack almost stops when he sees you fingering yourself - his efforts doubling and his mouth never stops talking but you don’t hear him anymore - the only thing you can feel is that you are embarrassingly close to getting yourself off. You moan around him, and your other hand starts playing with his balls and that's when he pulls out quickly.

He sinks to his knees in front of you and takes your hand - the one that was inside of you - and brings it to his plush lips, the heat of his tongue enveloping your fingers feeling so fucking good. You look at him and his eyes are closed, enjoying the essence of you in his mouth. He would eat you out…another time.

With a wet pop, he pulls them out and kisses you. More slowly but still with the same urge as before. The glove-clad fingers grabs the side of your jaw, tilting your head so he can leave a trail of kisses there. Closing your eyes you feel he is reaching for something and then you feel the weight of said something on your thigh. Opening them you see his whip between you two. He takes his gloves off and starts toying with it while holding eye contact with you.

“I want to use this on you. Will you let me?” He searches for your gaze when you think about it. Biting your lip he starts kissing your neck once again. Mumbling against your skin how he will “make you feel so good, baby girl. I want to make you feel so fucking good.” Nodding your head as you cannot do anything else - you feel like you lost your voice more so after him fucking your throat like that - and he grins at you. Ordering you to turn around and get on your hands and knees.

You feel him shift towards you - the ski suit rustling with his efforts to get as close to you as possible. He kisses your spine, and your shoulders, leaving a hot trail of saliva with his tongue. He gently grabs both of your hands and you lay your cheek on the ground - it’s cold and dirty and who knows when it’s been cleaned the last time. He kisses one of your wrists then the other one.

The material of the whip is not as unpleasant as you thought it would be. Moving his hands up and down your body he grabs the flesh of your ass and puts one of his thumbs on the ring of the muscle in the middle. You jolt and he chuckles, pulling back.

“Another time, sugar. I’d like to fuck that ass. Bet ain’t nobody ever done that to ya, huh?” You don’t expect him to expect an answer. But he does and you cry out when he smacks your ass - soothing it right away. “Answer Jack when he asks you something, sugar.” You want to cry. The weight of his palm on you feels so fucking good and you feel the head of his cock pushing against one of your ass cheeks. You want him to fuck you silly.

“N-no. Want you, Jack. Please.” You sob when another smack - now on the other side - lands and he chuckles once again.

“So needy. Begging for my cock. Guess you imagined me fucking you. Didn’t ya?” It’s pathetic how fast you answer.

“Yes! Yes, Jack! Imagined your big fucking cock in me. I want it.” He sneers at that and pushes the head of his cock between your folds.

“It’s your lucky day then. Cause’ ole’ Jack imagined fucking you since the day you started working with him.” It surprises you, really. You and Jack were not on the best terms. You fought a lot and he got on your nerves with his southern charm and the way he made all the ladies swoon over him. But you couldn’t deny you felt the tension between you two either.

You don’t dwell on it too long though, as the head of him slowly enters you. You whine and sink on the ground completely but Jack grabs you by the hips and pushes all the way inside you. He feels so fucking big and you can feel every ridge and vein of him against your walls.

He is not slow with it. He snaps into you and one of his hands pushes between your shoulder blades as he tries to anchor himself. You mewl and moan and you’ve never felt so good in your entire life. He puts his weight behind the thrusts - his own hips getting sore with how hard he pounds against your ass.

The feel of him is like nothing you’ve ever felt before and if could stay here forever you would gladly do so. You are pretty sure you are drooling on the dirty cold floor but you couldn’t care less when he grabs you by the shoulders and presses your back against him. You can’t feel him - only the ski suit and it is a little disappointing. One of his hands grabs you by the chin - he wants to kiss you so he shifts your face towards his. It’s all teeth and tongue and it really isn’t a kiss. He snarls and his mustache scrapes your cheeks, his hips relentless.

The other hand grabs one of your tits. He didn’t touch them the entire time and now that he thinks about he doesn’t really know how come he didn’t. He gets lost in the feel of you - in the feel of them in his hands. You are so soft and putty in his hands and for a moment he thinks he will invite you to dinner later but then you start clenching around him and he rests his forehead on your shoulder - he still has his hat on and it’s in the way but he doesn’t care and neither do you.

The high-pitched moans and mewls are like music to his ears and also the only thing echoing through this cabin with the sound of skin slapping and his puffs of hot breath. He flickers your nipple between his fingers and he wishes he could put his mouth on it but it’s no use in this position.

You are so close and he feels it, the hand that was playing with your tit making its way to your clit. The tight circles are all you need and you are falling right off the edge. He holds you close against him and he bites your shoulder - gasping when you cum. Hips rocking forward into yours.

It only takes two or three more thrusts and then he is cuming too - painting your walls with his seed and he lets go of you - falling on you. The aftershocks of the orgasm are still coursing through you when you feel him untie the whip and gently kiss the shoulder he bit you on. He nuzzles his nose against the back of your neck and his mustache tickles you - so you giggle trying to push him away. You feel him smile against your skin.

Pulling out of you, he slowly rolls to the other side and you shift your body toward him. You smile - unsure of what to do or say next. But he beats you to it, putting his hat on your head he winks and says: “Watcha say, sugar? Want to go out and spend a nice evenin’ dinner with this old cowboy?”

You just grin and pull him by the collar of his ski suit towards you. Whispering against his lips: “You have yourself a deal, cowboy.” As you kiss the corner of his mustache-covered lip.

#agent whiskey #jack daniels #jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels smut #agent whiskey smut #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x f!reader #agent whiskey x f!reader #pedro pascal characters #jack daniels x you #agent whiskey x you

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ellie-probably · 6 months

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little note for one of my friends

one of my friends was questioning as aro-spec so i thought i would maybe give a few terms here

greyromantic/grayromantic - experiencing romantic attraction at a lesser frequency or intensity as the societal "normal" person. this happens to be me!!! it also doesnt exclude different attraction types

lithromantic - you like people... but you have absolutely no care for actually acting on those feelings or knowing someone likes you back.

frayromantic - you like people until you have a strong emotional bond with them, after which the attraction fades away.

quoioromantic - do i like this person?? is it a different type of attraction?? is romantic attraction even relevant to me????? who the fuck knows, cause thats what this term is all about!!!!! (op realizing this term may fit them somewhat)

aegoromantic - "romance seems cool i guess, i dont think it's for me tho haha, like its cool fantasizing about romance and thingies but like idk i would rather not do that irl" - someone, somewhere, explaining aegoromantic

i mentioned different attraction types in quoiromantic earlier, so heres a list of different attraction and relationship types

sexual attraction - needs no introduction, you just horny, moving on

sensual attraction - like physical but non-sexual desires, like hugs, hand holding, etc

alterous - my favorite!!! this type is basically indistinguishable between romantic and platonic attraction, im pretty sure i feel this a lot, either that or its queerplatonic. see op cant even distinguish them and they are the chronically online autistic who researches queer wiki pages in their free time lol

queerplatonic!!!!!! - my actual favorite move over alterous, this is basically the ultimate platonic relationship, most would probably see it as romantic relationship cause it sees a level of devotion and commitment not often seen in platonic relationships. if i may blatantly steal from the lgbtqia+ fandom, "deep mutual trust, emotional closeness, and loyalty" normally seen in romantic relationships are a defining factor of queerplatonic relationships. if you want a good example of one ive seen people say that frances and aled from radio silence (alice oseman, 2016) are a queerplatonic relationship, and one that i am VERY jealous of but ive already talked about that here.

remember, nobody expects you to figure this out immediately. i doubt even alloromantics get crushes every week to develop their understanding of their attraction (but im aro-spec so who knows), so i doubt you're gonna find a billion crushes to dissect your attraction with, it's probably gonna take a while, but hey, if we... (*remembers that making jokes about humanity killing themselves and their homeworld bring the mood down*) ...have a community, why not ask around?

if anybody has stuff to correct me on, or stuff that you want me to talk about too, please just reach out!!

and to that friend i wrote this for, a lot of this you've probably seen already, but i hope i could help a bit :3 - aidan/ellie

#aromantic #arospec #aspec #lgbtq #attraction #lithromantic #greyromantic #aegoromantic #queerplatonic #frances and aled #questioning #did you know #you're reading the tags #wow

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somefanchick · 6 months

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-Rollo's Angelic Obsession-

(This story is from Rollo's perspective during the events of the visit to Nobel Bell College. I only know information from the English server story and events so sorry if anything is terribly out of character. This fic is cannon for my female Yuu-sona, but I do just call them Yuu in the story. Yuu uses she/her pronouns. Hope you enjoy! TW: Rollo is obsessive and Delulu with a major crush on Yuu. Found the banner pictures in a post by @ raven-at-the-writing-desk, they are not mine. I got the event book 1 transcripts from the Wiki, and the book 3 transcripts from @ kanasmusings!)

It was disgusting. The headmaster of Night Raven called to inform us that his group of ten had grown to thirteen, not including the chaperone. I had requested Malleus Draconia so I could execute my plan, but to add two more students to the group was borderline infuriating. I didn’t even have the time to see how powerful these other students were, or who they were. I had no idea if they would be an issue or if it would be better to rid the world of them like the others. The only information the headmaster gave on them was that they counted as one student, and that one of them was magicless. That last note made me somewhat hopeful.

The portal lit up and all of the students stepped through. I recognized each and every one of them, so I assumed the new ones were tucked behind the others. I even recognize the chaperone. None of them were a threat. None of them were pure. They all would burn.

“I've been expecting you,” I stepped out of the shadows, vice president and aide on my left and right, “ Esteemed guests from Night Raven College, welcome to Noble Bell College.”

Mozus Trein, the chaperone, spoke in a tone much like my own, “Judging by your uniform, you must be the student the headmage mentioned.”

“That's right,” I put my handkerchief over my mouth for a moment before speaking again, “My name is Rollo Flamme. I serve as the student council president here.”

Riddle Rosehearts was the next to speak, “Oh, interesting. Our school doesn't have an independent student council, but it sounds like you all do.”

I removed the cloth from my lips, “Indeed. And while it may sound presumptuous, one could call it the face of our school. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Idia Shroud’s voice was shrill with surprise or fear, “Ack! Immediate encounter with strangers!”

Azul Ashengrotto seemed equally annoyed and used to the outburst, “Isn't the whole point of this social to meet strangers?”

I could hear some of the freshmen mumbling to themselves, about me undoubtedly. I pressed on, “This is our vice president, and this is our aide. When they heard they could meet with such an esteemed group, they dropped everything and came running. The entirety of Noble Bell College welcomes you. Our school is small compared to yours, and you may find it lacking in some ways, but we beg your indulgence.”

Trein looked like he could almost smile, “How courteous. You have impeccable manners for someone so young.”

Deuce Spade whispered to Silver, a guard of Malleus Draconia, I kept speaking, “We couldn't allow you to keep hauling your luggage around, of course. Let me show you to your rooms. I'm afraid it's a bit of a walk. We can use it as an opportunity to get better acquainted, though.”

I began leading the group forward as Idia Shroud made another winey comment. They were infuriating, and I hadn’t even gotten a glance at the unexpected visitors. They all deserved death.

Azul Ashengrotto made his way to the front with me, “So you're a junior. I imagine it's quite an honor being student council president, considering there can only be one in the whole school. I'm sure your academic performance is also superb and will guarantee you a promising future.”

I tried not to grit my teeth, “Noble Bell simply has a smaller student body. I can hardly compare to those of you from the great Night Raven College.”

Ashengrotto coated his words in flattery, just as we had done with their headmaster, “Please, you needn't be so humble or formal. Why, you're technically my upperclassman! Everyone at my school would be overjoyed to acquaint themselves with such a fine individual.”

I hummed as if amusing the idea, “All right, as you wish. I won't stand on ceremony so much.”

Ashengrotto got involved in a side conversation with Shroud. Leaving me to do nothing but move forward and suppress the urge to strike them down where they stood.

“Ah, but where are my manners? I've gotten ahead of myself,” Ashengrotto pulled himself back to me, “Apologies for the belated introduction. I'm-”

“Introductions won't be necessary,” I waved it off, bringing my handkerchief back to my lips, “I already know who all of you are. You're Azul Ashengrotto, housewarden of Octavinelle and a merman from the Coral Sea,” I kept going, “And you're Idia Shroud, housewarden of Ignihyde and affiliated somehow with the Shroud family. And you-!” I quickly kept myself from flying off the handle at the sight of that Fae, “You are Malleus Draconia, scion of the ruling fae in Briar Valley and one of the top five mages in the world. Correct?”

I felt sick as he smiled, “Indeed, I am Malleus Draconia.”

Sebek Zigvolt butted into the conversation, “Of course the great Malleus would be known even in such a tiny burg!”

I lowered my handkerchief once more, “You are Sebek Zigvolt, and you hail from the same land as Malleus. The one next to you is Silver. And over there chatting with our vice president is Riddle Rosehearts, housewarden of Heartslabyl, Rook Hunt, vice housewarden of Pomefiore, Jamil Viper, vice housewarden of Scarabia, Ruggie Bucchi, Deuce Spade, and Epel Felmier. I thoroughly perused the documents Mr. Crowley so kindly sent, you see.”

Ashengrotto’s eyes were almost wide, “It's like privacy's a foreign concept to that man-”

Shroud gave me a dirty look, unacceptable, “That could get you sued in this day and age.”

Silver almost smiled, “You must have a very good memory, to recall so many different names.”

“It's simply because I was eager to meet such talented mages,” And that’s when I saw them, “But who have we here? You two there. Might I ask your names?”

The first unknown student was a monster. A tiny mythical beast that resembled a cat with fiery blue ears. A familiar that was almost pure magic and fur. Disgusting, “I'm the great Grim, future great mage!”

But the one standing beside him was something else. A woman. Her hair looked silky like a festival scarf. Only one of her eyes was covered by her bangs, but the other one looked like it had seen so much, yet so little. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It made sense that she couldn’t use magic. She was an angel. I couldn’t help but wonder what the school had prepared for her to wear later.

When she spoke, it made the bell seem like nothing in comparison, “I’m Yuu. Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm. Nice to meet you Rollo.”

I loved the sound of my name on her lips, “Ah, you must be the student attendants Mr. Crowley mentioned,” I tried not to smile, “He said you couldn't use magic. I certainly wasn't expecting you to bring a familiar.”

“A familiar-?” The wretched thing spoke, “Wait, are you talkin' about me?! It's the other way around! I'm the boss, and Yuu's my hench-human!”

“I hate to say it,” She rolled her eyes at the creature as she whispered, it was almost as if she had been speaking to me alone, “But at this point I almost can’t debate that.”

“Heh, what a dependable companion you have,” My sarcasm was almost indistinguishable from my normal speech. I let my voice soften as I moved closer to the magic-less angel presented to me, I almost let a smile slip for her alone, “Yuu, I imagine it must be taxing living among mages all the time. I entreat you to forget about school while you're here and enjoy a moment of respite in Fleur City. And I hope the rest of you will enjoy the social.”

Her eyes seemed to widen. She looked shocked at my words. She must be so used to brash animals that it sounded odd to be treated properly.

“I actually-”

Malleus Draconia didn’t hear her and spoke over her. I wish I could have killed him in that very second, “I'm truly grateful for your hospitality.”

I moved my handkerchief to cover my scowl, “Think nothing of it.”

I stood by the statue of the Righteous Judge while the pests changed in a building nearby. I had made sure that there was a separate space for Yuu to change. I couldn’t let any of those monsters see the angel in her purest form. Her exposed body would be a gift from the saints above. A gift that I had to keep from being tainted though those devils that called themselves her classmates.

The brats talked loud enough for me to hear them. It was all I could do to keep from lighting the building on fire with them inside, “All this goofing around-”

Trein approached me, “Hello, Flamme.”

I put on my ‘show’ once more, “Ah, Professor Trein. What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to thank you for your generous hospitality. Clothing is an embodiment of the culture it comes from and can provide us with a glimpse into different time periods. This is a fine opportunity for my student to get a hands-on history lesson,” Trein was respectable, for a mage.

“Please, think nothing of it,” It was easier to show him hospitality, “Perhaps we should have arranged attire for you as well, though. That was a grave oversight on our part.”

“It's quite alright, I assure you. I don't need the other teachers poking fun at me for dressing like the students when I get back.”

I hummed, “Sounds like you're on friendly terms with the rest of your faculty.”

He released a dry laugh, “Hardly. They're a raucous group and a constant source of embarrassment.”

We broke into humble laughter. I watched as the brats came out, commenting on how me and their professor ‘got along’.

The familiar came bursting out of the building, laughing, “I'm all done changin' too,” He turned towards the building his master was changing in, “Whaddaya think, Yuu? Isn't my getup way more stylin' than yours?”

“I don’t know about that,” She looked amazing.

The others on the council had scrambled to find female festival clothes for her, and I hated that they couldn’t do better. It wasn’t nearly extravagant enough. Dark blue high-heeled boots, thin black pants, a flowing black and purple asymmetric skirt, multi-blue corset with hot pink lacing, a flowy off-white shirt, bracelets and golden bangles, and a silk chiffon scarf in a lavender color that flowed off her head. She was a saint.

The familiar ran over to her, “Oh, you think you can go toe to toe with me? Don't let one set of cool threads go to your head!”

She smiled and scanned herself over, “I’m just glad it wasn’t too extravagant. Those extreme duds might look fancy, but I prefer something simple and somewhat practical. And this fits the bill.”

She was right. A simpler ensemble let her natural beauty shine though.

Sebek Zigvolt scoffed, “You're both equally unbecoming.”

Trein looked like he could almost smirk, “Goodness, don't you all make a striking ensemble.”

Rosehearts smiled as he dusted off his outfit, “The clothes have a very classical design, I note.”

I removed my gaze from Yuu and addressed the group, “I believe they're patterned after designs that are over 500 years old. Supposedly people in those days had a tradition of wearing new clothes and shoes on festival days. And the outfits grew brighter and more elaborate as the years went on. People would emulate those in prominent positions, such as nobles, royalty, merchants, knights- Which led to the outfits you're wearing now. There were simpler styles that rose to oppose this trend. Though more people gravitate towards the extravagant style in the modern age.”

Ruggie Bucchi was checking himself out, “I getcha. Everyone likes getting fancied up, even if it's once a year.”

Rook Hunt’s accent was almost insulting, “It must have been quite exciting for everyone. I can tell this festival was beloved then as it is now.”

I couldn’t help but mutter into my handkerchief, “Indeed. More's the pity.”

Zigvolt noticed my slip up, “Hm? Did you say something?”

“No, nothing at all.”

I had been tasked with visiting all the Night Raven groups between duties, and I had the misfortune of never running into Yuu. However, the Topsy-Turvy Festival was a mandatory event for all students and chaperones from the visiting schools. It was the last bit of normalcy before I burnt the magic away from this world.

I locked my eyes on Yuu and approached the Night Raven group, “There you are, Night Raven College.”

Trein did his own kind of smile, “Hello, Flamme. Are you here to watch the festival as well?”

“Yes, this is part of my duties as the Student Council President,” I realized that it may benefit me to stay closer to the group, ‘keep your enemies close’ and whatnot, “May I take this opportunity to sit with you? I’d like to hear about your experiences, too.”

Ashengrotto put on that sleazy grin, “Yes, you’re very welcome to! Please have a seat.”

The fae questioned his classmate, “There’s not enough space, correct? What will we do?”

He smiled as if it was obvious, “Simple. We let Grim sit on Yuu’s lap instead.”

Zigbolt seemed shocked, but Trein only nodded, “Yes, that will do. I’m interested in hearing from Noble Bell College students, too, so please feel free to join us.”

“No way!” The ungrateful monster yowled, “I’m not sitting on Yuu’s lap!”

Shroud smiled creepily, “How about you sit on my lap instead?”

“That grin’s freaking me out,” Grim pushed Yuu onto the bench, “Sit on the chair properly, Yuu! Imma make space for myself.”

I took advantage of it all and sat beside Yuu, “Pardon me. I’ll be taking this seat, then.”

I tuned out the others and focused on Yuu as she watched the mages and the festival goers. There was a slight sign of joy, but she remained mostly neural. She did make a point to try and hold in some laughter at Zigbolt’s outbursts.

“Hello, everyone! All eyes and ears on me, please!” The same Jester I had seen every time the festival came into town spoke, it seemed he was leading this year, “Come one, come all. Forget about all your work and worries for today, and let’s enjoy the festival. Welcome to the Topsy-Turvy Festival!”

“Topsy-Turvy Festival?” The familiar spoke. Ignorant as a newborn baby, “That sounds weird. Will everyone be upside-down or something?”

I covered my mouth with my handkerchief, “No, he’s just talking about the participants in general. It’s the one day people get to live their lives without titles or status. The weak can become strong, anyone can pretend to be king, so on and so forth.”

Negative emotion coursed through me as I realized Malleus Draconia had sat on the other side of Yuu, and now he was speaking, “Ah, so ranks are put aside for today?”

I grit my teeth behind the cloth I held, “Yes, that’s right. That’s why everyone wears masks for the festival.”

Past Malleus Draconia was Ashengrotto, “I see. I think I understand the appeal now. You get to live as freely as you want today.”

“I saw lots of stalls selling masks, too. There’s a kind of romance to hiding your identity behind a mask,” I swear Shroud was smiling.

Grim spoke up and pointed at some performers, “Everyone looks like they’re having lots of fun!”

The Jester kept going as performers kept prancing, “It’s our long-awaited Topsy-Turvy Festival! But let’s not forget that it’s the ‘Kindly Bell Ringer’ who loved this festival the most!”

Yuu and the familiar spoke in unison, although Yuu’s voice was quiet – as if it was for me alone to hear, “‘The Kindly Bell Ringer’?”

Malleus Draconia spoke again, “Oh, did you not know?”

The little beast was the only one to respond, “Nope, I didn’t!”

Ashengrotto rolled his eyes, “You didn’t even bother researching about the City of Flowers, Grim?”

“I’m not interested in anything except for the food.”

Shroud smiled, “I’ll praise your straightforwardness.”

I then tuned out, I had heard this story a million times. While I did love the tale, it was hard to stand it being said from the lips of a jester and his ragdoll puppet. I but in for a moment to tell the animal what a ventriloquist was, but then I resumed just watching Yuu’s reactions out of the corner of my eye.

The Night Raven students had turned the festival into a horror show of magical fireworks and mage tricks. It was despicable. Although it did give me a moment alone with Yuu while we said on the Night Raven bench. She was watching the fireworks with a neutral smile. Her lack of ‘joy’ made my heart beat loudly in my chest. Part of me was afraid she was going to hear it over the commotion of the festival.

I tried to make conversation, “Mages are quite a handful, don’t you think?” She turned to me, her eyes were mesmerizing, “It must be difficult for you to keep up with noisy mages who don’t understand the severity of it all. It would be nice if magic didn’t exist so we could avoid all this fuss. Don’t you agree?”

Her eyes widened, but she just chuckled, “Yeah right. I’m used to it by now.”

I was almost speechless, I couldn’t keep the horror from my face, “You’re ‘used to it’? Oh you poor thing! I can’t blame you for becoming numb to the absurdity after spending everyday practically swimming in it. Mages will use magic to deceive people around them. They cloud the eyes of the righteous. Truely how vexing. But rest assured. This kind of world will soon vanish.”

She froze, “Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”

As soon as the words left her lips, her familiar called out, “Yuu! Stop standing around and spacing out over there. Behold! I’ll show you the Great Grim’s Special Golden Fire!” The monster sent out a spray of golden fireworks.

I used the distraction to slip away. Maybe she didn’t understand right now because she had become accustomed to the horrors of magic, but one day she would. She was too pure. She was an angel. She would be saved from the dirt and grime of magic once it all burned away.

Then she would be mine.

#disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst mc #twst #rollo flamm #twst rollo #twisted wonderland rollo #rollo x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland disney #twisted wonderland Yuu #twisted wonderland drabble #twisted wonderland reader #obbsession #I feel like this this seriously undermining Rollo as a character but in the same breath I am obsessed with him being obsessed with a Yuu #I stg #i need mental help

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creatorsawoman · 7 months

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my 2s repost the links should lead to archive links <3

Hi I want to apologize for taking so long to respond, I wanted to get my thoughts together, to answer this properly. This’ll be long.

First, it is important that I define to you what exactly I know and see two-spirit as/to be. I’ll start with the definition from wikipedia: “Two-spirit (also two spirit, 2S or, occasionally, twospirited) is a modern, pan-Indian, umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people in their communities who fulfill a traditional third-gender (or other gender-variant) ceremonial and social role in their cultures.”

What I know the usage of the term two-spirit to be, yes, it is quite an umbrella term. I find it used all over Canada and America by Indigenous youth who identify as trans, AND by those who are LGB. As it is in usage now, it seems to just be the catch-all for any GNC or LGB indigenous kid. A label. And although I do think it’s wonderful for any LGB or T-identified or gender non-conforming Indigenous child to find a label that makes themselves comfortable and makes it easier to find others who have the same life experiences, I also think it’s wrong.

The intention of Two-spirit is meant, as we see in the wiki definition, as a catch-all describer of “traditional third-gender, ceremonial and social role in their cultures” for anybody who is North American indigenous. Anon I’m sure you know already but for those that don’t, our roles, typically, are heavily appointed by Elders. You don’t just identify yourself into performing traditions, you are appointed it by elders, or else you ask for their, for lack of better word, blessing. But… you’d be hard pressed to find much of our culture that does this for a “third gender” or “two spirit”.

I can’t speak for every indigenous culture as I was raised mainly into the Cree part of my family and not the Saulteaux/Oji-Cree, but in Cree culture the word of our Elders is sacred. Oral history is how we learn of our culture, in part because we were hit hard in the Canadian genocide of First Nations. I can very safely say, out of all the things I learned from my elders, the only thing I ever had to “teach” them was what Two-spirit meant and what a third-gender is. Because they didn’t know. They could tell me what life was like before they were taken away from the reservation, they could tell me tales of creatures, of Wendigo and Little People, they could tell me and teach me what is sacred to us, what our roles as male and female are, but they couldn’t tell me what Two-spirit is. I had to learn that from the white man. Why is that? Well… possibly because it’s not a thing. It’s not sacred. It isn’t part of the history.

And even if it is in any subset of our cultures, all these kids and indigenous youth who use 2S to identify themselves? They were not appointed the term by elders, they label it themselves.

I think it is important to note here that “Two-spirit” itself was a term first (as we know so far according to Wikipedia, so take that as you will) founded and pushed out of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, which is Treaty 1 territory, home to Anishinaabe. I am not a part of this territory (although I have Elder family members who are from Sandy Bay, who I can confirm also do not know of two-spirit) but one quick search of “anishinaabe third gender” will even only bring up modern day Two-spirit ideas, and the coining of the term in 1990. Same with any search for “(nation) third gender.” I have had a very lovely Anishinaabe anon in the past, and she has also vented her frustration at the use of the term, especially as an umbrella term for any Indigenous kid who is LGB or T, so I do take some assumption there from her that it is also not much of a thing in Ojibwe culture or any of the other Anishinaabe cultures.

What’s most important, and why I oppose it so much (other than the fact that it’s just, as I see, straight up a white man-made concept) is that the term “two-spirit” was created to replace other, more offensive words.

It’s main replacement is for “berdache”, a white (French) word, used against male Indigenous men, particularly homosexual Indigenous men. It is a slur. “Male berdaches did women’s work, cross-dressed or combined male and female clothing, and formed relationships with non-berdache men.”

It is, also, meant sometimes to replace the word, Winkte, or winyanktehca. Lakota meaning ‘wants to be like a woman’. Particularly used against, again, homosexual Lakota men.

It is, also, sometimes used as a replacement for Nádleehi, which was/is used in Diné culture as a word for effeminate males. Particularly used against, you guessed it, homosexual Diné men.

Now, to me, I think it is pretty plain to see that this is a term meant to replace some of our more homophobic terms used in Indigenous communities. But replacing homophobic terms with new ones doesn’t make it any less homophobic. These terms were meant to other homosexual indigenous men, and they were also used by white people. For us to, in this day and age when our culture is shifting to a less homophobic one, use the term two-spirit to continue to other LGB indigenous people? That’s not right to me. There was no reclamation of any of these terms, there was just a white replacement word that doesn’t sound as bad. But it still means the same thing. It’s still as white as a Frenchman calling a gay Indigenous man berdache.

I could keep going on and on, especially about how it is used in current day culture by indigenous youth as a special label, and how none of the people using it seem to actually have talked to their elders about it, but really my biggest problem with it is just how extremely homophobic it is. And how white people use it as “proof” that transgenderism has “always existed” when those same white people don’t even bother to fucking listen when some of us scream at them how wrong they are. And then I could keep going on screaming about how it’s been shoehorned as an acronym onto Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women which is so fucking disrespectful.

#2s #asks #indigenous #pinned

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bejeweledsims · 2 years

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the aesthetics challenge: a ten generations legacy challenge

i've always loved to play challenges in the sims 4, i find that they push to gameplays that i otherwise would probably never try, so i decided to try to create my own challenge.

while creating the requirements for each generation i was looking at the aesthetics wiki, so feel free to check it out if you have any doubt as to what an aesthetic means or what it should look like. also, i'm aware that some of this may not fit what some people think about certain aesthetics, but this was my own interpretation of them with the resources provided by the sims 4 gameplay to the date i'm posting this, so be nice pls <3

while making this i realized that someone else had already made a challenge with the same idea, though there are only two aesthetics that appear in both challenges and the requirements are different.

general rules:

though some generations do require you to live in a specific place, i only added the world part as to give you an idea, but you're welcome to have your sim live wherever you wish if not necessary.

given that it's a challenge based around the idea of aesthetics, you should probably create your sim based around the designated aesthetic

unless stated otherwise, you can marry/get together with any sim with whatever traits

use the #aestheticsims4challenge tag if you decide to play this challenge, i'd love to see what other people do with it :)

generation #1: witchcore

growing up you always loved to read about magical worlds and fantastic realms, so you used to stay away from other people and with the company of your beloved books and a cat. but when visiting a mysterious town you meet an strange man who claims to be a spellcaster, you witness all of your dreams come true and beg him to teach how to become one.

traits: cat lover, loner, bookworm

aspiration: spellcraft & sorcery

job: freelancer, writer branch

world: glimmerbrook

requirements:

start as a regular sim, become a spellcaster

move into glimmerbrook as soon as you become a spellcaster

complete the spellcraft & sorcery aspiration

marry a human

learn all the spells of at least one type of magic

complete at least one of the perk trees

maximize the medium, herbalism and fishing skills

generation #2: plant mom

your parent may have been able to cast actual magic and all that, but ever since you were little you knew that the only magic you could do was with plants, and so you commit your life to learning everything you can about them and how to take care of them, but when you're not doing this, and unlike your parent, you love to hangout with other people and your dogs on the outdoors, though you mostly like to talk about plants.

traits: loves the outdoor, dog lover, outgoing

aspiration: freelance botanist

job: gardener, botanist branch

world: any world

requirements:

this heir must be human

reach the top of the gardening career

always have at least one dog

complete the freelance botanist aspiration

spend at least 2 hours every sunday in a park

have a gardening club and have at least one gathering each week

maximize the gardening, herbalism and logic skill

generation #3: clowncore

while your parent was all about plants, hardwork and research, you're more of a joker and would much rather spend your time with other people making them laugh, so you decide to devote your life to it. you try to always see the bright side of things and will always make a joke even in the saddest of times, but that has caused to lose some loved ones along the way.

traits: goofball, outgoing, cheerful

aspiration: joke star

job: entertainer, comedian branch

world: any world

requirements:

complete the joke star aspiration

reach the top of the entertaniner career on the comedian branch

marry and divorce a proper sim

have a neutral relationship with your parents and child

maximize the comedy, mischief and carisma skills

generation #4: cottagecore

it's not that you didn't like your parent, it's just that they could sometimes be... a little too much when it came to their jokes. you always felt as though you got along better with animals than with other people, so you prefered to spend your time in the outdoors surrounded by them, so when you are old enough you move to the countryside and buy a farm where you take of many animals and attend the farm festival, where you fall in love with a local sim.

traits: loves outdoors, good, animal enthusiast

aspiration: country caretaker

job: no job

world: henford-on-bangley

requirements:

never have a job

complete the country caretaker aspiration

live on henford-on-bangley

be close with your grandparent and garden with them

be closer to your proper parent, but live with your goofball parent

marry a sim from henford-on-bangley

maximize the cross-stitch, herbalism, cooking, baking and gardening skills

generation #5: downtown girl

your parents always loved the countryside and it's animals and plants, but that lifestyle was just never for you, and when on a family trip you visit the big city you make a decision: you'll move there as soon as you become a young adult. once there, and with no more company other than a cat you adopt on your first day on the city, you decide to follow your dream of becoming a musician and start from the bottom.

traits: music lover, cat lover, loner

aspiration: city native

job: entertainer, musician branch

world: san myshuno

requirements:

complete the city native aspiration

have a part-time job as a teenager

reach the top of the entertainer career on the musician branch

adopt a cat on your first day on the city

have no more than 3 friends, excluding family members

maximize the singing, charisma, guitar and piano skills

generation #6: dark/light academia

you’ve always have a passion for knowledge and learning, so much so that you prioritize it above anything else, you dream of becoming the first person in your family to attend university. you are always surrounded by books, and you prefer their company to that of other people, which is why many consider you a snob.

traits: bookworm, loner, snob

aspiration: academic

job: writer, on the autor branch

world: any

requirements:

go to university, it must be britechester

join a secret society

maximize writing, research & debate and logic skill

marry a fellow academic with the snob trait

read at least 3 books to each of your kids

reach the top on the writer career on the author branch

generation #7: old money

"some people are simply better than others" it's a phrase that you wholeheartedly believe and live by. you love art, music, books and everything sofisticated, so you choose a career that will allow to enjoy of such things, but when your parents decide to make a call to boost your admission chances to your dream university due to the being alumnus, it makes you forever question whether you truly deserved it or not, so you work harder than everyone else to prove you're worth it.

traits: snob, proper, over-achiever

aspiration: successful lineage

job: business, management branch/acting

world: san myshuno/del sol valley

requirements:

go to university, and major in either economics or communications

reach the top of the business/acting career

complete the successful lineage aspiration

graduate high school as an b student, graduate university with honors

if you choose the acting career, you must win at least 1 starlight accolade and become a 5 star celebrity

marry a famous and snob sims

maximize the gourmet cooking, charisma, parenting and painting skills

generation #8: that girl

they say like parent like children, and they're right. growing up you always saw just how hard your parents worked and how much they managed to achieve due to that hardwork, so you decide to be just like them, except for one little thing: you want to be an internet personality. so you go to college and at the same time become a simfluencer, at least until you graduate, but you still keep updating your social media everytime possible. you are always concerned with becoming your best self in terms of mind and body.

traits: perfectionist, over-achiever, neat

aspiration: renaissance sim

job: simfluencer part-time job as a teenager, style influencer on the trendsetter branch

world: any

requirements:

complete the self-care self-care specialist aspiration

reach the top of the both of your careers

become at least a 3 star celebrity

go to the gym at least three times each week, go to a spa at least once a week

graduate as a a student and valedictorian, graduate university with honors

maximize logic, fitness, wellness, cooking, parenting and baking skills

be close with each of your children

get at least 6 other skills to level 8

generation #9: coastal grandma

you grew up watching your parents constantly working, and while that never stopped them from being as loving and doting as possible, seeing their frantic lifestyle made you realize that you want nothing to do with that lifestyle, in fact, you want to just relax and enjoy life in a beach while drinking your favorite drink. so you work all of your youth and once you become an adult you move to a beach, quit your job and enjoy the rest of your life with your loved ones.

traits: child of the ocean, foodie, insider

aspiration: beach life

job: culinary, chef brand

world: brindleton bay, tartosa, sulani

requirements:

complete the beach life aspiration

move to a beach once you become an adult

marry a good sim

practice wellness

have a good relationship with your child

maximize the cooking, baking, mixology, parenting and knitting skills

generation #10: cryptidcore

a family rumour claims that one of your ancestors wasn’t… precisely human, but everytime you’ve tried asking anyone they just laugh and deny it, saying that no such things exist. well, you’ve decided to prove them wrong, and you will dedicate your life to prove it

traits: loves the outdoors, socially awkward, genius

aspiration: strangerville mistery

job: scientist

world: strangerville

requirements:

befriend a witch, werewolf, vampire, alien, ghost and a mermaid

marry a sim that is one of the previous life states

reach the top of the scientist career

complete the strangerville mistery aspiration

move to strangerville

maximize the vampire lore, photography and logic skills

#sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #aesthetics4 challenge #aesthetics #the sims 4 aesthetics #the sims 4 challenge

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hughmunculus · 1 year

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With Super Eyepatch Wolf's new video I'm anticipating some newcomers to the F&H series, so I'd like to present:

Some Beginner's tips for Fear & Hunger

aka: how to not get dickslapped to death by a giant

These tips are MOSTLY spoiler free, but obviously will spoil some of the experience of learning by trial & error. Feel free to bookmark this and come back after you've begun playing.

This wiki is your bible. Use it.

2. Run, a lot.

Battles are not mandatory. EXP does not exist. You do not level up. If you encounter a monster the only benefit to killing it is you don't have to deal with it anymore. Even the weakest enemies can give you an infection or parasites, so its just not worth it in most cases. If you have a strong enough party to kill them all in one shot, by all means, but there are very few enemies worth tracking down and killing.

3. DO NOT FIGHT THE GUARDS (unless...)

One of the first baby-brain mistakes I made starting the game was thinking your first ambush by a guard meant you had to fight and kill the guy. And, yes, in a way this is your introduction to the fact that this game will beat your ass with no remorse, but this game will teach you this lesson in a lot of different ways. So, don't fight the Giants. UNLESS... You have at least 2 party members AND the skinning knife. Simply bum rush the guard with at least two party members, taking out the arms and stinger first. It should die pretty quick then.

4. Dash dash DASH

As far as I'm concerned, having Dash is non-negotiable. It is the difference between being able to outrun a guard and needing to juke them around a huge hallway and hope you run away far enough. Every character can get it from their intro, so either consult your bible or do trial and error in the intro until you get it. (HINT: consider options related to running away or rushing into things.)

5. Loot EVERYTHING

I'm gonna level with you; this game is an RNG meat grinder, but with enough patience it can be your RNG meat grinder. Search every crate, barrel, armor stand, and bookshelf you find. ESPECIALLY bookshelves, they have some of the most valuable items in the game. And if you get a particularly bad string of loot don't be ashamed to start over from an earlier save. I have a save specifically outside of a library and I just looted that fucker until I got the stuff I wanted. In a game with like, 4 save points its not exactly cheating to do the pitiful amount of save-scumming you can.

6. Use your torches.

The first time I played Fear & Hunger I wandered around in the dark because "I could see far enough" and I didn't want to "waste torches". Both of these are the wrong, btw. Torches don't just increase visibility, they slow the passive decay on your Mind stat. Even if you're not using magic or skills, its very very bad to have low mind (but also you should be casting spells or using skills). Towards the end of the game I found mind management actually the most difficult stat to keep in check, not body or hunger. So don't waste all of your vodka or wine because you kept backtracking through the prison in the dark.

7. Find the Hexen table. Use the hexen table.

The Hexen table is going to be your best friend. Once again, on my first run of F&H I found the door that leads to it, thought "meh", and then stupidly never went back to use it. Getting some good skills/spells is going to save your run. Especially blood portals, which are insanely busted. Speaking of that...

8. Increase your affinity with the gods

That shit matters. Your Hexen table isn't going to have a lot available to you if you're not praying or sacrificing anything. There are a couple events/quests you can do to increase affinity to the gods as well, but I'm not going to spoil everything for you. Gro-goroth in particular has some amazing offensive spells, but All-mer has blood portal so choose wisely.

9. Don't recruit party members until you need them

Every new party member is another mouth to feed and sanity to manage. Unless you know what you're going to use them for or you're about to fight something big and nasty, hold off on recruiting them. This especially applies to the Girl, as mean as it sounds to just let her chill there its meaner to drag her into a hellish prison to do 10 damage.

#fear & hunger #fear and hunger

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dee-is-for-lots-of-things · 2 years

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An Unnecessarily Comprehensive Sandman Reading Order

Having now read EVERY comic that I could find based on, using characters from, or tying in with @neil-gaiman‘s Sandman series, I thought I should provide what is, as far as i can tell, the definitive list of everything Sandman, in roughly the order of publication, and also what I thought of them. Warning: there’s a lot of it (over 580 issues in two and a half months).

Sandman (1989) #1-28 [Neil Gaiman] (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Obviously we start at the beginning (I hear it’s a very good place to start) with the first 3 main arcs of Sandman plus some single issue stories. This is where the series really leans into the horror side of “dark fantasy,” and I for one love it. Idk, there’s not really much to say here. This is a Sandman blog, we all love this series here, or at least like it enough to talk about it. Go reread this stuff. It’s fuckin good.

The Books of Magic (1990) #1-4 [Neil Gaiman] (x)

The original Books of Magic series is essentially a guided tour of the DC universe’s magic side. Each issue focuses on a specific part of the universe, most of which are callbacks to comics that, I promise, you do not need to have read. The main three reasons to include this is: a) it’s fun, b) Tim as a character gets his own series which becomes part of the Sandman Universe relaunch, and c) it’s a nice place to learn a bunch of DC magic stuff which might show up later without having to drag yourself through the wiki and or read a thousand other comics. Then again this list is over 570 comics long, so maybe that second part’s not much of an issue here.

Sandman (1989) #29-31, Special #1, #32-50 [Neil Gaiman] (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

This begins with the Distant Mirrors collection (rather than placing them in the Fables & Reflections TP) and runs all the way to the end of Brief Lives and the Ramadan issue (essentially the end of Distant Mirrors, albeit two years later). Brief Lives and A Game of You are still my favourite Sandman collections, the best examples of what I call “human Sandman,” focused on dreamers and their lives and all that, and “Endless Sandman,” focused on the affairs of Dream and his funky family.

Death: The High Cost of Living #1-3 [Neil Gaiman]

The first Death spinoff! It’s based on the one-day-as-a-human thing she does, it’s a lot of fun, and other side characters from Sandman make an appearance! Look, we all know these are good. I don’t have as much to say about them as I do about the obscure comics from the early 2000s that it feels like only I read.

The Children’s Crusade: The Children’s Crusade #1, Black Orchid Annual #1, Animal Man Annual #1, Swamp Thing Annual #7, Doom Patrol Annual #2, Arcana (The Books of Magic) Annual #1, The Children’s Crusade #2 [Neil Gaiman, Nick Foreman, Jamie Delano, Nancy A. Collins, Rachel Pollack, John Ney Rieber, Alisa Kwitney] (x)

This is a crossover between all the big Vertigo titles, focused on the children of each series. Don’t worry about what’s actually going on in the individual series the annuals are from, but the overall plot (by Neil Gaiman) focuses on what the Dead Boy Detectives (Charles and Edwin from Sandman #25) have been up to since escaping Death. They get more very good spinoff content later on, and apparently they’re getting a tv show soon which should be fun.

Death Talks About Life [Neil Gaiman] (x)

This is the short AIDS educational comic. John Constantine has a banana. I like it, I think it deserves a place in this list. Apparently Neil Gaiman almost got arrested for it which is some king shit honestly.

The Spectre (1992) #19-22 [John Ostrander]

This is a very meh arc of a Spectre series that I have not read anything else of. But Lucien is in it briefly so I did read this bit. And in my opinion? Completionism was not worth this boring comic.

Sandman (1989) #51-75 [Neil Gaiman] (x) (x) (x)

The big finale! Worlds’ End and The Wake bookend the massive 12 issue The Kindly Ones arc, so I think keeping all of them together makes a certain amount of sense.

The Books of Magic (1994) #1-20 [John Ney Rieber] (x)

The start of the proper Books of Magic ongoing series (this series being one of my favourite things I’ve read for this) expands nicely on what we know about Tim from the Neil Gaiman miniseries. A lot of plotlines also get picked up from the Children’s Crusade event, and stuff from there is explained and expanded upon. Look, I love this series so much and I think that, while what the Sandman Universe reboot did with it was entertaining, this is still much better.

Sandman: Midnight Theatre [Neil Gaiman, Matt Wagner]

This explores the golden age Sandman, Westley Dodds, and also gives a look at Dream in captivity. The actual Sandman content isn’t a huge part of it, mostly focusing on character that are presumably a part of Vertigo’s Sandman Mystery Theatre series of which this is technically a spinoff. Still, it’s enjoyable, the art is nice, and we get a nice look at the Order of Ancient Mysteries that we don’t really see in Sandman.

Death: The Time of Your Life #1-3 [Neil Gaiman]

Death spinoff 2! This one focuses completely on Hazel and Foxglove after A Game of You and The High Cost of Living, and is less about Death herself (although this isn’t the Death spinoff with the least Death in it. We’ll get there).

The Books of Magic (1994) #21-32, Annual #1, #33-38 [John Ney Rieber] (x)

More of a transitionary period in the series, Molly gets sent off on her own subplot while Tim wanders aimlessly around America for a bit. The America stuff can get confusing and disjointed and doesn’t quite fit into a compelling coherent narrative, but Molly’s plotline more than makes up for it

The Dreaming (1996) #1-16 [Terry LaBan, Peter Hogan, Alisa Kwitney, Bryan Talbot, Jeff Nicholson] (x)

While the best bits of this series are yet to come, there are some good stories in this first, more loosely connected section. That being said, the first 3-issue arc in particular isn’t exactly a perfect example of what the strengths of this series will be, and really it’s just treading water waiting for a writer to come along with a good overall vision for the series. Don’t worry, that’ll come.

The Books of Faerie #1-3 [Bronwyn Carlton]

This seems like a fairly standard telling of an origin story, but it actually ends up providing insights into Tim’s actual true parentage which was left entirely up in the air in the issue of Books of Magic that this picks up from. Which is nice, because I was kinda confused.

The Dreaming (1996) #17-25 [Caitlin R Kiernan, Al Davison, Peter Hogan]

This is really where this series starts to show what it’s gonna be good at. The arc that begins in #17 is the first to be written by Caitlin R. Kiernan, and introduces characters, concepts, and themes which will become very important when they eventually take over writing the series, as well as just being really fucking good.

Vertigo: Winter’s Edge #1 [Neil Gaiman, Caitlin R Kiernan, John Ney Rieber]

These winter specials are always something of a mixed bag. For what’s relevant here, Neil Gaiman offers a Desire-based story which is confusing and vague and has little to do with Sandman aside from featuring an Endless, the Books of Magic segment is just a short and inconsequential adventure for Tim, and Caitlin R Kiernan clealy shines when they provide a Cain and Abel short which is both a fair bit of fun and establishes concepts and themes which will become very relevant for some of their later writing.

The Books of Magic (1994) Annual #2, #39-50 [John Ney Rieber]

It’s time for a big ol’ finale for the John Ney Rieber run on this series! A whole bunch of characters return! Excitement! Action! Magic! Chocolate! A surprise twist involving a character from very early on in Sandman! What more could you want, really?

Destiny: A Chronicle of Deaths Foretold #1-3 [Alisa Kwitney]

This is essentially a series of historical stories that loosely connect to one character who is somewhat linked to Destiny. It’s good, even if the stuff about a huge plague in the 21st century is a weird read now, and the individual issues are also pretty long. Don’t go in expecting a spinoff starring Destiny or providing insights into how all his shit works. The story is rather built around him, like a lot of Sandman around Dream, or the next-but-one item on this list around Death, and if you take it with that in mind you’ll enjoy it more than if you expect something it’s not.

The Dreaming (1996) #26, Special #1, #27-34 [Caitlin R Kiernan, Len Wein, Peter Hogan]

The Many Mansions arc, beginning with #27, is the first section of The Dreaming that’s felt like it’s really shaken up the status quo, and has taken big risks with the characters in service of the story. One of the main strengths of the series, in my opinion, is the fact that it allows what were simple running jokes, exaggerated horror hosts, or side characters to Dream’s angst a time to shine, both in the sense that they get the spotlight, but also that they are allowed to change, grow, and don’t end up in the same role as the series continues.

The Girl Who Would Be Death #1-4 [Caitlin R Kiernan]

This is a spinoff of The Dreaming and ties in with characters that Caitlin R Kiernan has already established, as well as establishing a few more, rather than being a sequel to Gaiman’s previous Death series. As with much of their writing in this universe, it’s got a brilliant atmosphere and fascinating characters. Also, it’s now canon that Death was at least one lesbian’s gay awakening which I think is the most realistic thing that’s ever been shown in any Sandman comic.

Vertigo: Winter’s Edge #2 [Neil Gaiman, Peter Gross, Caitlin R Kiernan]

The Sandman segment in this one is much stronger in my opinion, pulling on threads that are hinted at and explaining things from Sandman to give a good look at Death as an actual character. The Books of Magic story is the same sort of thing as the previous years, just a nice inconsequential short story with Tim. Again, though, Kiernan’s The Dreaming story is the best of the ones that I bothered to read, setting up things for the future and also providing some down-time to acknowledge the way that the status quo has shifted.

Sandman Presents: Lucifer: The Morningstar Option #1-3 [Mike Carey]

The beginning of another major spinoff line! This one’s fun, and also the start of the Sandman Presents collection of miniseries that came out from 1999-2004. Its plot also sets up the events of Mike Carey’s subsequent Lucifer series, so read this is you want the start of that to make any sense at all.

The Books of Magic (1994) #51-56, Annual #3, #57-63 [Peter Gross, Peter Hogan] (x) (x)

Idrk what to say here, I’ve already talked at length about how much I love this series. The exploration of private school culture is interesting even if it doesn’t last, and the multiversal implications of the Other are also very fun. That being said, sometimes the Peter Gross run does feel like it’s repeating what happened earlier (awful things happen to Tim’s dad, Tim gives away his magic, an imposter Tim takes his place, idk).

Sandman Presents: Love Street #1-3 [Peter Hogan]

I have no idea if this miniseries contradicts any of John Constantine’s established backstory from Hellblazer but personally, I really enjoyed this one. It finds a way to involve itself in the Sandman universe that justifies its Sandman Presents title, even if the fact that it’s a Hellblazer book could have been more clear. It’s also good to see more of the dreaming during Dream’s absence, and show what the dreams themselves actually did then.

The Books of Faerie: Molly’s Story #1-4 [John Ney Rieber]

IF you can get past the fact that this series has the ugliest art out of any comic I’ve read, the story here is really neat and it’s always nice to see Molly back, and any exploration of Faerie is usually enjoyable. Just, give yourself a second to get used to the art. Molly really doesn’t look like herself.

The Dreaming (1996) #35-43 [Caitlin R Kiernan] (x)

The culmination of Echo’s story has a big ol’ pile of transgenderism, and despite what certain other sandman blogs will tell you, the ending of Fox and Hounds is not just a repeat of The Wake and really, I don’t know how one might come to that conclusion. For one thing, it’s not the end, nor is it as grand in scope, and for another, it scratches my brain in a particular way because, on a more meta level, the ending grapples with how the concept for The Dreaming differs from the concept of Sandman, and how that difference impacts the story and the characters.

The Books of Magic (1994) #64-67 [Peter Gross]

While I know that part of the whole point of this series is that Tim can’t really settle down anywhere for long, this little home he makes in these issues is by far my favourite and I wish it had lasted longer than the Peter Gross run on the series. Also, this is where I started my “hey Tim... you ain’t cis” crusade and I need everyone to know that this child is very very queer.

Vertigo: Winter’s Edge #3 [Neil Gaiman, Caitlin R Kiernan, Peter Gross]

Another weird Desire story that I’m not too fond of from Neil, and Kiernan’s Dreaming segment is nice enough, but my favourite is the absolute pure fluff of the Books of Magic part, which crosses over with Sandman again and also seems designed to make me ship Mary and Joh as hard as humanly possible and, believe me, I do.

The Books of Magic (1994) #68-75 [Peter Gross] (x) (x)

Another big finale, and this one actually represents more of an end of an era than #50 did. Gross ties it back in with the very beginning and resolves a bunch of loose plot threads, as well as giving cameos to a bunch of characters from the John Ney Rieber issues so that The Names of Magic can transition to a different sort of story. It’s just a shame that we have to ditch the entire recurring cast again. Ah well.

The Dreaming (1996) #44-49 [Caitlin R Kiernan]

This is just the Trinket arc which resolves, or at least brings back, most of the loose ends to do with faerie, with Cluracan and the Nemesis and Nuala returning, and also brings back everyone’s favourite transphobic witch.

Sandman Presents: Petrefax #1-4 [Mike Carey]

Look, word of warning, there are a lot of slurs used here by a writer who evidently does not know that’s a slur for romani people. Gritting my teeth and putting that aside, when this series actually gives Petrefax something to do that’s relevant to his skills it’s quite fun. But that only happens a couple of times in the whole series, a significant proportion of it is just fantasy worldbuilding I really don’t care about, and also did I mention they keep saying a slur? Because they do.

Lucifer (2000) #1-13 [Mike Carey]

I wasn’t immediately a fan of this series, but once it starts building out its recurring cast and gets into the characters a bit more, this is really fun. I was 100% sold by #4.

The Dreaming (1996) #50-60 [Caitlin R Kiernan, Bill Willingham] (x) (x)

Another series draws to a close, and while the last arc could have maybe done with another issue just to give it a little more time to flesh things out and provide a satisfying conclusion for every character, this series is so good, if you don’t mind it the fact that it all basically gets erased from contuniuty by the time of the Sandman Universe publishing line (I guess due to the New 52 or some other DC relaunch, or at least that’s the excuse that I expect they used) I would absolutely recommend it as a followup to Sandman, especially if you don’t want the shift to modern comic styles that the other option leaves you with.

The Names of Magic #1-5 [Dylan Horrocks]

Since Books of Magic #75 ended with Tim proclaiming that he finally knew who he was, was free from his destiny, and wasn’t going to be looking for someone to lead him, and now he was meeting his future on his own terms, having his first move be “ask for help” and then have him shoved in the direction of school by a bunch of more established adult characters seems kinda antithetical the the whole point of that last series. Still, this sets up the next series neatly and isn’t too annoying to get through.

Sandman Presents: Merv Pumpkinhead, Agent of DREAM [Bill Willingham] (x)

This book is one long extended James Bond joke. I do not care about James Bond. What’s going on? Why should I care? Why did the woman have sex with a pumpkin man? Help.

Lucifer (2000) #14-32 [Mike Carey]

Ahhh, now we get to the good shit. The Lucifer series reaches its first Big Event Where A Bunch Of Shit Goes Down in the Paradiso, Purgatorio, and Inferno arcs. I don’t know enough theology to tell you if most of this comes from Jewish or Christian teachings but it’s interesting and probably at least slightly heretical so I’m down.

The Little Endless Storybook [Jill Thompson]

This is cute. No other reason needs to be provided. Read it, it’s cute. (Also if you can find a copy I imagine it is a much better experience if you have a physical copy)

Sandman Presents: Dead Boy Detectives #1-4 [Ed Brubaker]

If slightly frustrating with its actual detective side, this is a fun series that explores the boys and how their ghost powers actually work, and I look forward to what the next writer decides to do with them (and apparently they’re getting a show!! fuck yeah) (also uhhhh more like gayboy detectives amiright gamerz?)

Hunter: The Age of Magic #1-11 [Dylan Horrocks] (x)

It seems the little nosedive Tim’s story took in Names of Magic was only a short one, because right out of the gate Age of Magic is fantastic. The timeskip is slightly disconcerting, but it means we can skip all the “Tim learns magic” “Tim fucks another girl” “Tim discovers things” stages of his schooling and just have him finish and leave as quickly as possible, after using the setting to establish all that it needs to, and Tim can be free to do his own thing rather than being stuck in a “misadventures at the magic school“ style story.

Sandman Presents: The Corinthian #1-3 [Darko Macan]

This one’s mostly atmosphere, but it’s good atmosphere. It’s nice to see a little of the original Corinthian (rather than the rebooted version from The Dreaming) and how exactly he went bad, and what he was doing while Morpheus was imprisoned. Apparently elements of this (with the Corinthian’s experience in WW1) will be involved in the show, which is good because I can point at the screen and go “ooh! ooh! I know this one!” while my dad’s trying to watch, which is always fun.

Sandman Presents: The Thessaliad #1-4 [Bill Willingham]

I really wish I could like the Thessaly spinoffs. I love the character (despite her being claimed by TERFs apparently) and I wish we got more of her history, more of her being ruthless and cold and calculating, I’d especially love it if we explored how her normal life functions and how she does magic, but no, instead we get comedy hijinks with Fetch, the most annoying character to be introduced so far. Also the art is by Shawn McManus who is by far my least favourite Sandman artist and the only thing I actively dislike about A Game of You.

Lucifer: Nirvana [Mike Carey]

This is one of those fancy graphic novels with painted art and so on, but all that achieves is making it harder for me to focus on the story really. Tethys the Raven shows up which is neat. At least The Dreaming is still canon at this point.

Hunter: The Age of Magic #12-25 [Dylan Horrocks] (x) (x)

Big wrap-up of everything established from Names onwards, and a good end to the series, even if bringing back Molly again starts to get slightly tiresome (just let her live her life away from Tim. She’d be fine).

Sandman Presents: The Furies [Mike Carey]

Some of the Sandman Presents stories are spinoffs, or stories that happen to be set in the universe, but this really does feel like somewhere between a sequel and an epilogue to The Kindly Ones, giving Lyta more resolution than she got in the few pages she showed up in during The Wake. The “fancy graphic novel” problems I mentioned with Nirvana do make it a bit annoying to read, but it’s a good and interesting look at a character who got slightly left behind by the story once she’d succeeded in killing Dream off.

Hellblazer: Lady Constantine #1-4 [Andy Diggle]

I’m sure there’s parallels and references that I don’t get because I’ve only read the first few dozen Hellblazer comics, but this was really fun! Johanna is such a fun character and I loved her dynamic with her kid even if I knew they were gonna snuff it the minute they showed up.

Lucifer (2000) #33-40 [Mike Carey]

The Naglfar arc is my favourite sort of comic arc: every recurring character thrown together on a mission and forced to get along. Also, shit goes down with god and while I’m not gonna pretend to know what the precedent is for all this in the Tanakh or in the christian Bible, I’m enjoying whatever is happening immensely.

Sandman Presents: Bast #1-3 [Caitlin R Kiernan]

This is Caitlin R Kiernan’s last offering to Sandman, and it’s also one of their best. The exploration of Bast as a character and how the death of gods actually works is really good, honestly just read it, I’m not sure what else to say except it’s a shame this is the last comic of theirs in this universe.

Death: At Death’s Door [Jill Thompson] (x)

This one’s just a fun look behind the scenes of Season of Mists with Death, Delirium, and Despair dealing with all the dead that have just turned up. The style is so fun, I love the vibes, and also anything that gives Delirium a lot to do is an instant favourite.

Sandman: Endless Nights [Neil Gaiman]

The first of Neil’s followups, and while some of the more abstract or disconnected stories like Desire and Despair’s feel like they’re just there to fill space and give a chapter to every Endless, the (small) through-line of Delirium’s grief is really nicely done, and, again, this captures the consequences of and provides a followup to the ending of Sandman in more depth than The Wake did

Lucifer (2000) #41-49 [Mike Carey]

This part of the series splits its time, mostly focusing on Elaine and Mona’s fates, along with the rest of the supporting cast, while Lucifer does important overall plot things with the angels. I’m not complaining, though, this series has such a good cast of characters and I’d happily read a spinoff with any of them.

Sandman Presents: Thessaly: Witch For Hire #1-4 [Bill Willingham]

Reaching the end of the Sandman Presents series and this is how the original line of spinoffs ends. Not with a bang, but with an aimless and annoying whimper that really isn’t doing any of the things I want this character to be (except murderous. I do enjoy when she kills people). But I think Bill Willingham is somewhat allergic to writing a story with a dark tone that isn’t filled with constant jokes. Like, yes, having comic relief is important in every story lest it become grimdark edgy nonsense, but I would rather see Thessaly at her most fucked up and evil without a ghost trapped in a mirror doing a Funny Bit every other page. Maybe that’s just me, though.

Lucifer (2000) #50-61 [Mike Carey]

Reaching the endgame of the series, and almost every element that was set up gets involved in the last few dozen issues. Not sure what to say, this shit’s just really fucking good. Go read it!

Dead Boy Detectives (2005) [Jill Thompson]

If your detective story ends with the detectives putting together the clues to solve the mystery and publicly confronting the villain and then the villain explains that actually it was all innocent misunderstandings and they’re not guilty at all, I think maybe you shouldn’t be writing detective stories. Also all the crossdressing jokes got old very fast. This is by far the worst of all of these, and there’s some bad shit on this list at points.

Lucifer (2000) #62-75 [Mike Carey] (x)

The gert massive finale of this fantastic series really doesn’t disappoint. Characters get their arcs resolved in a mostly satisfactory manner, it does what DC did a few decades earlier in Crisis On Infinite Earths with resolving a multiverse in a much neater and less confusing way, and we learn that the god of the DC/Vertigo universe looks like the stereotype of a tory civil servant from the 1970s.

Madame Xanadu (2008) #6 [Matt Wagner]

The way Death is used in this is really interesting. For one thing, according to Death the whole “i give you a __” ritual is just set dressing for the intent which summons the Endless, so either Burgess did something really wrong or Death can tell when it’s a trap and tell when someone just wants a chat (and Dream is too stupid to tell and was also understandably destracted in 1916).

The Brave and the Bold (2007) #1-12 [Mark Waid]

The "Lords of Luck” arc, if kinda confusing, is interesting and brings in the Destiny elements in a cool way, even if the way they write Supergirl is sometimes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gross. The “Book of Destiny” arc, by contrast, is just a series of tangentially linked stories and some of the most generic superhero comic stuff I’ve ever read, and the Book itself is only an afterthought in #12. Also, they gave Destiny the fancy Desire font instead of the harsh bold italics. Come on guys.

Action Comics (1938) #894 [Paul Cornell]

Another standalone Death issue within a broader series I have no interest in reading. She’s fun here too, and I always enjoy someone making Lex Luthor have a little bit of an existential crisis. This also seems to be the first significant appearance of Death outside Vertigo since the imprint began, as TBATB is for Destiny and Metal is for Dream.

Sandman: The Dream Hunters #1-4 [Neil Gaiman]

The story that Neil Gaiman accidentally trolled a bunch of academics in a tiny afterward to this story is very funny to me. I read the comic version rather than prose, I’m sure the prose is also very good because (shocking) Neil Gaiman happens to be a good writer.

House of Mystery Halloween Annual #1 [Bill Willingham, Mark Buckingham]

Not much here innit just a fun merv story. If I wasn’t going for 100% I would not have even brought this up.

Dead Boy Detectives (2014) #1-12 [Toby Litt, Mark Buckingham] (x)

This is THE Dead Boy Detectives series, it’s the best by far because, amazingly, if you let your detective characters do detective work, the story is more engaging! Also, the series introduces a fantastic supporting cast, and actually delves into Charles and Edwin’s characters and all their masses of trauma from, y’know, being murdered. Also got me excited about the tv show they’re apparently making. Please let it be like this series and not like the shitearse Jill Thompson one. Please.

Sandman: Overture #1-6 [Neil Gaiman]

I have no idea why the reading list on the back of my copy lists this before Preludes and Nocturnes. Like yeah it’s a prequel technically, but if you hadn’t read Sandman before, reading it first would be a very bad idea since it hinges on lore from the series and also spoils the ending if you didn’t know what happened. If you have actually read Sandman though, yeah it’s fucking good idk what to say. It slaps.

Lucifer (2016) #1-19 [Holly Black, Richard Kadrey]

Honestly, I would have enjoyed this regardless of the writing because it has my favourite artist from my favourite Marvel series, Loki: Agent of Asgard (go read it. do it.), but the writing is also fantastic. It’s the perfect example of a followup that on the whole respects the original series, the themes established, and where the characters were left, before bringing things back into the fold in a realistic way to do something new with them, instead of just resetting continuity so that you don’t have to deal with somebody else’s recurring cast, *ahem*, the entire Sandman Universe reboot you do good things but you could leave some of this in canon, *ahem*. (Speaking of The Dreaming, the inclusion of Matthew makes this the first concrete confirmation that the 1996 series isn’t canon any more, which did make me a bit sad). Well worth a read if you’re a fan of the original!

Dark Nights: Metal #1-6 [Scott Snyder] (x)

It’s your usual boring comic book crossover event. Dream shows up and it sort of sets up the Sandman Universe series, but mostly this is about the usual multiverse bollocks that DC always does. "Batmanium” did make me laugh, though.

Sandman Universe #1 [Neil Gaiman, Simon Spurrier, Kate Howard, Nalo Hopkinson, Dan Watters] (x)

Plenty of setup here, but since I have no idea where any of it’s going I think I’ll just... Let my reviews of the series themselves do the work here instead.

The Dreaming (2018) #1-12 [Simon Spurrier] (x)

The issues with the start of this series are a lot more complicated than just “bad writer” or “incorrect characterisation”. In some cases the old characters are spot on, and the new characters are all fantastic, but something about the way Merv and Lucien develop in the first few issues feels a little forced. This series could have absolutely benefited from what the original Dreaming had - short story arcs focusing on specific parts of or people in the Dreaming that slowly, slowly come together to form a larger whole - and just slowed down the breakdown of Lucien and whatever they were going for with Merv enough that we get a good sense of where it comes from. Instead (probably more due to editorial rushing and a need to get the Big Threat of the first arc in the picture by the end of #2 to appease convention in modern comic storytelling, than the intentions of the writer), the political commentary and character progressions end up a bit hurried and I’m left with a feeling of “Yes logically I get how we got here, but like... how did we get here?”.

All of that being said, once it manages to get into the swing of things, this series is honestly a worthy successor to the original, even if I’m still annoyed about it replacing the original continuity entirely. The way that other Sandman characters are slowly brought in is really nicely done, and the development of the central mystery is intriguing and develops at a perfect rate to give answers, but also keep my interest going.

House of Whispers #1-12 [Nalo Hopkinson, Dan Watters]

Now this feels like Sandman. I love the characters, both human and godly, and the Ananse storyline makes me fall victim to my greatest weakness once again: stories that are about stories, that acknowledge that they’re stories, that twist the narrative of the tale it’s spinning and in doing so acknowledge the consequences of the characters existing in a world defined by narrative conflict. That’s my shit! Also I think it’s really cool that a comic published by one of the big two comic companies has a nonbinary character that uses neopronouns who also defines zirself as queer. Ze are iconic.

Lucifer (2018) #1-13 [Dan Watters]

The style and tone of this is very different to the other two Lucifer comics, and it exists outside of the continuity established by them (hence Lucifer having no scar, Remiel and Duma still ruling hell, Mazikeen’s dialogue takes a while to get used to, etc). Instead of being about the end of the universe and Lucifer’s attempts to get out from Yahweh’s rule while also saving the world surrounded by a huge supporting cast of characters we sympathise with instead of him, this series makes Lucifer pathetic in the best way. It’s much more introspective, and focuses on Lucifer, his ex-lover Sycorax, and their son Caliban, and how their relationships evolve. Also, the art is by far the best out of any of these Sandman Unvierse comics.

Books of Magic (2018) #1-13 [Kat Howard]

Again, a very different take on the same character. I’m not sure I like this one as much as Lucifer though. The focus is on the Cold Flame and Rose from the original Neil Gaiman series, although some elements from the Rieber/Gross series make it through, in particular some interesting things are being done with Tim’s dad. This is fun enough, and I’m interested to see where it goes, but I still much prefer the style of the original.

The Sandman Universe Presents: Hellblazer [Simon Spurrier]

This one-shot spins out of the 1990 Books of Magic miniseries, and explores what the fuck was actually going on in that potential future they showed. I’m sure it also ties into various bits of Hellblazer but, as already mentioned, I haven’t read more than a couple dozen issues of that series yet and it still made sense.

The Dreaming (2018) #13-20 [Simon Spurrier] (x)

The finale to this series is so good! Like I said earlier, the way that the mystery is slowly revealed works so well, and bringing all the threads together slowly is so satisfying when a writer can do it well. Also, the things it does with Lucien as the narrator in a meta sense is very fun.

House of Whispers #13-22 [Nalo Hopkinson, Dan Watters]

The way that this series builds its characters and worlds is so good, the balance between the human and godly characters especially. I’m also a big fan of how weird-looking the Corinthian is, I think some artists forget to draw him like a nightmare who’s slightly out of sync with reality in a “he looks creepy as fuck sometimes” kinda way.

Lucifer (2018) #14-24 [Dan Watters]

Word of warning: you will need to find the 3rd TPB collection if you want to read the actual conclusion of the Wild Hunt arc, because #19 was never published and the next collection was #20-24. I think it had something to do with covid, idk. Putting that aside, the art here is great and I love the way Lucifer works in this series. Probably the best of the initial four Sandman Universe lines.

Books of Magic (2018) #14-23 [Kat Howard, David Barnett]

The second half is much better than the first (as it seems is the case with a lot of these) , and the finale arc pulls in a few other Sandman related characters which are all fun (even if they don’t always make sense entirely). It’s still nowhere near as good as the original Rieber/Gross series, but it’s fun in its own way.

John Constantine: Hellblazer (2020) #1-12 [Simon Spurrier] (x)

I have not read enough Hellblazer to compare it to what came before, but this is an absolutely fantastic series. The tone is brilliantly managed, the supporting cast is endearing, John’s arc is engaging, and the series knows when to be funny, when to be brutal, when to be horrific, when to be tragic, when to be political, and when to force me to look at a drawing of Boris Fucking Johnson.

The Dreaming: Waking Hours #1-12 [G. Willow Wilson] (x)

This is the most Sandman-feeling SU series, and I mean that in a good way. We get a good amount of seeing Daniel in action, the cast of new characters are all fun, and it feels like a good followup to The Dreaming without stepping on its toes - it uses the new characters as a natural part of the universe, and utilises the plotlines left hanging in a good way. My only real problem with it is a problem I have with a lot of comic series that only run for a dozen issues - the wrapup is a bit rushed to fit it all into one issue, we don’t really get time for the characters to settle into their endings before it’s over.

Locke & Key/Sandman #1-2 [Joe Hill]

The first three-quarters of this are very fun, but it does get a bit boring once they go to hell. Lucifer feels out of character, and I do not have any idea what the normal Locke & Key series is about, so there’s no way for me to be invested in these characters. The stuff that actually takes place in the Dreaming itself is fun, though, and I like the look into Fawney Rig during Sandman #1. Also, it’s always very funny to see a series have to write itself around continuity and go “hey hang on, why don’t the various dreams go rescue Dream?” While we don’t get a satisfactory answer to that, it’s not really what they were focusing on anyway so I have no reason to get angry about it like some people might.

Nightmare Country #1-? [James Tynion IV]

This series is only four issues in at the moment so I can’t say anything conclusive, but it’s got some great creepy shit in it (some of it reminds me of Caitlin R Kiernan’s work with the Corinthian in the original Dreaming) and I was convinced enough by it to pre-order the next two issues, which I look forward to reading!

---

I’m probably meant to put a conclusion paragraph here but my English teacher would probably agree when I say I’m kinda crap at them. The best long series to spring from Sandman are Lucifer and Books of Magic, Caitlin R Kiernan was the best writer on The Dreaming, and Waking Hours is probably the best of the Sandman Universe books but you’re absolutely in safe hands with any of them. The Sandman Presents comics are good for the most part, but the quality varies wildly. Every time there’s a non-Vertigo series which involves Sandman characters it’s probably not worth it. Don’t bother with the Dead Boy Detectives graphic novel, read the Litt/Buckingham series instead. And most importantly, don’t tell me that I forgot that one 2008 (?) House of Mystery series. I did indeed forget it, but to be fair I didn’t know it existed until I saw a copy in the library the other day and I cannot be bothered reading it now.

#sandman #the sandman #sandman netflix #comicc #books of magic #dead boy detectives #the dreaming #nightmare country #sandman universe #hellblazer #house of whispers #lucifer #lily liveblogs #dream of the endless #death of the endless #the dreaming waking hours #vertigo #dc #lily dot tee ex tee

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thepringlesofblood · 9 months

Text

All The Fix Facts

thank u hank green for my autistic rights

also god bless the fine folks that put up episode transcripts on the d20 wiki so I can copy-paste these lengthy quotes directly

Ep 1

For every snake in the world, there is 1 snake dick/Every snake that has a dick has 2 dicks.

Bonus Brennan Facts:

komodo dragons are actually not poisonous, but the bacteria in their mouth is so powerful that it acts like a toxic venom

Ronnie shows The Fix a drawing he did of "a diagram of the indentations on a snake's lip that lets it detect heat signatures."

Ep 2

eyes can't be itchy. "The membranes around the eyes are innervated with itch receptors and pain neurons, whereas the eyes themselves only have pain neurons because, of course, evolution is strongly incentivized to prevent you from scratching your cornea with your fingernail. So your eyes are never actually itchy."

"The "tails" on a swallowtail butterfly serve no aerodynamic purpose. They're there because birds need something to grab onto when they're trying to kill a butterfly, and they are designed to capture the attention of a bird. The bird will grab onto that tail, and it will break off, and the butterfly is free."

Ep 3

the urethra contains taste receptors/tastebud-like structures

"when eagles grip onto something, they have to flex a muscle to un-grip... So an eagle can hold onto something so hard that even after it dies, it never lets go."

most of the pyramids on Earth are in Sudan

pelicans have 3 stomachs- one of them's just for bones

"it's really easy to detect an acid. But it's not easy to detect the presence of oxygen or carbon dioxide. But when carbon dioxide meets water, like it does in our blood, it creates carbonic acid. That means that our bodies can detect the presence of carbon dioxide, but not the presence or absence of oxygen. So as we move through our lives, if we are deprived of oxygen, we have no idea that that is happening as long as we are breathing out carbon dioxide. But if we are not breathing in oxygen, we just go to sleep and we die. But if we allow the CO2 to build up, we panic. We flail. We break. Until finally, we die."

Ep 4 (folks, we were FED tonight!)

"did you know...that people can have constipation so bad that it will back up and impact their vagus nerve? And as they are finally eliminating that impacted stool, it can have a effect on the nervous system so great that they forget who they are, called constipation-related amnesia. A woman in Tokyo forgot who she was for eight hours" [I just had to fact-check this one, I could only find the one article but still jfc]

"Bones are actually living, and do you know that the reason we produce blood inside of our bones is because it's one of the places that's safest from UV radiation?"

"There are also some birds that can produce a kind of nutritious substance that they'll, that instead of regurgitating their own food, they will produce a kind of milk. It's almost like lactation, but it evolved separately. It was a case of convergent evolution. Pigeons do it."

"There are some salamanders that feed their babies their own skin."

Bonus Brennan Bird Facts

"...there are some species of birds that have a secondary pouch in their esophagus or in their digestive tract where they actually contain, referred to as a craw that has stones or other hard material to help break up food matter before it passes into the rest of their digestive tract."

"Did you know that woodpeckers have a tongue bone called a hyoid bone that wraps around their brain because...it needs to protect their brain from the impact...of...smashing into the wood of the tree to, you know devour their common meal items, which of course are grubs and larval insects."

Ep 5

you can't hum while blocking your nose

Some reptiles have a light-sensing organ on top of their head so they can sense shadows from potential predators

the bootlace worm is the longest animal in the world (not a reptile though rip)

Bonus Brennan Snake Facts!

The black mamba has been clocked going as fast as 12.5 mph, meaning it could outrun even some of the fastest humans, and since its resting speed is 7.5 mph, it would have the stamina to catch up even after a long time, since most humans run around 6 mph

the reticulated python is the longest snake in the world: not the biggest, that's the green anaconda, but the longest.

[thank u brennan for creating a personification of my special interest in snakes and repeatedly including him in things]

Ep 6

some organisms in the ocean glow when disturbed so that if they get eaten, the thing that ate them glows and is eaten. (hank says it way better, I think the ones he was talking about were dinoflagellates?)

"Did you know that the North Pole is actually a South Pole, because when you look at a compass, it points north. But the north pole of the compass is what's pointing north, and north poles point to the south poles. So when we go to the North Pole, it's actually the South Pole." (as i think siobhan said, i don't think i'm smart enough to understand that just yet, so I transcribed his exact words)

Bonus Brennan Fact (from Pasha!)

Diners came to be because people would take old decommissioned dining cars from trains and turn them into stationary eating establishments.

Bonus adventuring party facts under the cut!

Ep 1

the snake dicks are called "hemipenes"

"it's more like the penis branches at the base...they're forked dicks. But you can't see the fork at the end"

Brennan: "Some snakes breed...in a big knot"

Siobhan: "echidnas have a four-pronged penis."

Siobhan: "Kangaroos have heat-sensing penises, 'cause they have to get real deep in there...[and] wobble around in there"

Hank adds "[to] find the right path" and then says "The multipath vaginal canal is like, are you fucking kidding me?" implying that kangaroos have multipath vaginal canals

Siobhan: "Pythagoras was a communist who ran a math cult...that murdered a guy because he gave away the secret of perfect numbers."

Brennan, Danielle, and Trapp all have things to say about the invention of the chocolate chip cookie

Dan: "a staggering amount of what we consider canonical American desserts are inventions by corporations to sell flour...key lime pie is a complete marketing invention."

Ep 2

look idk if it was a joke or not, but Hank did say "It's definitely true that if you cum in space, it'd push you backwards."

(yes, I know the original quote is from the McElroys)

Ep 3 - no facts, but a cool quote from Antonio R. Damasio - "We are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines that think."

Ep 4 - no facts, but soft confirmation of Elias being neurodivergent!

"this sudden moment of someone who you say a fact to, and they say a fact back, and you suddenly go, wait a minute. Which feels very, that's not how every mind works, but it's how Elias's mind works, right? For this guy, this is the thing." (Brennan)

Ep 5

From Brennan & Danielle: Paralegals don't present in court, but rather review documents and speeches and information. Maybe not a new fact to y'all, but I didn't know that!

Trapp: the "hedonic treadmill" is a term describing the way that people are always returning to sort of a base state of happiness, always looking for the next thing that will make them more happy.

#dimension 20 #d20 #original post #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #i guess?#fun facts #hank green #brennan lee mulligan #ongoing

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cruddyart · 11 months

Text

Best Wod merch I found while cruising the wiki.

So we all know shirts, cups, masks, zippos. etc but white wolf troughout it’s existence released some wild ass fucking merch. So here’s the ones I love most. Longer post under read more. More infos are also in additional reblogs

Starting with something normal. The vtm letterheads for pretty much every clan. This one is for toreadors.

Vtm Action figures! Theres 3 of them of Beckett (which I have), Theo and Lucita. They also actually wanted to make glow in the dark versions of them. Which my friend mentioned would be rather ironic for a lasombra to have. The blurb on the page is cheesy and i love it. They wanted to make werewolf ones too but idk if it ever happened.

There is this derpy figure of a spiral dancer tho! Minis of werewolf also exist btw but they seem more metalic

Here are some old vamp and werewolf ones. They look very goofy

One that’s not weird but cute is this coffin shaped cigarette case (zippos also exist). I had the chance to buy it once but didn’t and kinda regret it now u_u

This one is one of my favs. The vtm chess set where u play the Cammy and Sabbat. With the king and queen being Jan Pieterzoon, Victoria Ash, Sasha Vykos and Lucita de Argon.

Mage the Ascension Ethergoggles. This grainy pic is the only one I could find. If anyone has this product pls send pics.

Moving on with mage again. The tarot set! (which i actually own)

And lastly, not one but two bladed weapons. First one for werewolf the apocalypse and one for vtm.

Sadly wraith and changeling don’t rly have much merch for them? Aside from posters and maybe a shirt.

#vtm #wta #mta #wod #vampire the masquerade #Werewolf the apocalypse #mage the ascension #world of darkness #white wolf #i love collecting #it is I #none of these pics r mine btw

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class-1b-bull · 2 months

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Ayo you're back!! Awesome!! Could I perhaps ask for how each of them are when they're chronically sleep deprived? Like "I've lived off of caffeine for the past two weeks and I am currently communing with the microwave via love bites" kind of sleep deprived (and maybe what the others do to get them to fucking bed)?

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he already casually drinks energy drinks so no one really noticed he was as tired as he was until they tried talking to him. Bro can not understand a word being said to him at any given moment. Not to mention he sounds like the dyslexic scene from the ghost stories dub. Rin or someone probably throws him onto his bed only for him to almost instantly pass out lmao.

Sen - everyone knew he was lacking sleep when the saw him poor an energy drink into black coffee and say sorry to a wall for walking into it. He eventually falls asleep on the common areas couch and his classmates just leave him there undisturbed. (Monoma did draw on his face with a sharpie thought)

Kamakiri - it takes so long for people to find out hes lacking sleep. Him cussing at objects and drinking 12 black coffees in five minutes or less is considered normal for some reason. They only realize hes desperately needs rest when he doesn't immediately try to fight tetsu when he asks to train his quirk. He probably just ends up falling asleep on his own since he dosent let his classmates in his room anyways.

Kuroiro - bro is always sleep deprived so nothings new. He goes on average 2-3 days without sleep. So him walking into class with a bag full of energy drinks and a large black coffee extra espresso in hand no ones really surprised.

Kendo - shes pretty good at keeping a good sleep schedule but because of that kendo losing only a few hours of sleep can really mess with her head. So a full all nighter has her seeing stars and stuff. Everyone can instantly tell shes exhausted and all it takes is for someone to ask her to go take a nap and she does just that no problem.

Kodai - when shes sleep deprived she actually becomes more talkative but shes yawning in the middle of every sentence and constantly losing her train of thought (not to mention she poured an entire pot of coffee onto the floor before realizing she missed her cup completely.) Komori or kendo probably takes her to bed lmao

Komori - shes a very loving person so when shes sleep deprived its probably because she struggles sleeping without someone near her. Shes probably used to sleepovers with the other girls (mostly pony and setsuna) so once the girls see komori bite into a piece of tree bark she found on the ground they decided to hold a small sleepover to help her out.

Shiozaki - its really hard for her to become tired much less sleep deprived since she can absorb a little energy from the sun with her vine hair (at least thats what the wiki said) but since shes used to the sun giving her a little boost she quickly becomes tired during long periods of clouds and rain with little sunlight. She starts to doze off while standing and kendo has had to carry her to her room more than once during this.

Shishida - once he starts getting tired he takes less care of his hair(fur?) And it quickly starts getting tangled and matted. He unintentionally starts sounding like an old man thats fought both world wars. Idk its just his tired tone of voice lmao. He probably doesn't drink energy drinks so when hes sleep deprived there isnt a moment where there isnt a black coffee in his hand. He probably ends up falling asleep sitting up in a chair.

Shoda - if hes lacking too much sleep and the coffee and energy drinks arnt helping anymore he will simply fall asleep at his desk for a few minutes at a time or in the common area. If hes that sleep deprived he will catch up on sleep through little naps throughout the day instead of just going to bed normally. (Which arguably makes his sleep deprivation worse)

Pony - when shes sleep deprived she dosent bother with brushing her hair in the mornings or things like that so as she gets less and less sleep she looks more and more like a zombie. She probably is a lot like komori and needs one of the girls to help her sleep a bit.

Tsubaraba - hes always sleep deprived. It gives charachter. He'll go for days without sleep and not even notice until one of his classmates point out how hes taking to his own shadow. Rin and awase got him to go to bed. (It took welding him down but if it works it works)

Tetsutetsu - not getting proper sleep isnt manly in his opinion, so he tries his best to take good care of his sleep schedule. So on the rare times where he is lacking sleep hes not sure what to do. He ends up falling asleep in class and staying asleep until schools over pretty much. Other than being really tired and barely being able to form a coherent sentence hes not as bad sleep deprived as ya think.

Tokage - she will say absolutely anything and everything she thinks of when shes tired and she will be immediately forget what she said. Its not anything mean or remotely understandable for that matter, but she will say it. She seems the type to get more tired from things like coffee and energy drinks so those dont help. The only way she gets any sleep is either from the girls sleepover or by actually collapsing

Manga - pulling 4 all nighters in a row just to draw was not his smartest moment. Doing that during exam season was an even dumber move. He pulled up to class without a pencil or book of any kind but he had a black coffee with triple espresso. He dosent like coffee but he forgot until he was already half way done with his coffee and the bitter taste hit him like a truck. After that he slept for like 2 and a half days straight.

Honenuki - he can go 4 or 5 days without sleep but in those final few hours on the last day he loses all grip on sanity lmaoo. He'll be fine and then suddenly he'll be drinking 12 energy drinks in one sitting and forgetting his own name. Hes pretty good at getting himself to sleep at that point tho.

Bondo - no one can tell hes sleep deprived until he falls asleep standing up. He starts moving all sluggish like and is constantly yawning but other than that not much of a difference despite how tired he is. He probably ends up falling asleep in the common area.

Monoma - he loses an hour of sleep and he'll look like he hasn't slept in months. So even one all nighter causes him to get the biggest eye bags youve ever seen. He can only stay awake thanks to the multiple energy drinks he has. He finally gets some sleep after kendo knocked him out.

Reiko - she usually stays up later than the rest of the class so shes used to having a bit less sleep than some of her classmates but the second she starts walking into walls because she can barely keep her eyes open she knows its time for bed. When she gets like this she can sleep for almost a full day and a half and still be tired when she wakes up. Becoming sleep deprived is how she knows its bed time.

Rin - the only reason he would ever lose sleep is if he stayed up all night studying or some nerdy thing like that lmao. Day of the test he walks in with the biggest eye bags and 12 energy drinks in his bag only to pass out the second it starts and not wake up all day. He refuses to pull all nighters after his final grade dropped 20% from that.

Gifs anime - dungeon meshi

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