#it felt so real like you couldn't distinguish if it was a dream even if you tried hard enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

samiiy20 · 1 year

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♡ 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧 (𝐟𝐭. 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧) ♡

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Bang Chan x fem!reader x Jeongin 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: Smut 𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 3.5k 𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: Threesome, unprotected sex, jealousy, a bit of degradation, oral sex, eating cum, underwear theft 𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: Your boyfriend decides to mark territory when he realizes who has been stealing your underwear, but things don`t go as expected.

masterlist II tag list

This content NOT is for minors!!!

This is merely entertainment, this does not represent any real person.

It is forbidden to copy or translate my work.

English NO is my first language.

This was the fifth time that your underwear disappeared, at first you thought it was the washing machine that had eaten it but that only the lace clothes disappeared was already too strange. At first you thought it was your boyfriend making a joke, but when you questioned him he became serious which made him a little angry and he began to mistrust his classmates. Living with eight people, especially boys, was strange at first but then everything became a routine, plus you got along very well with everyone, although after that you were more careful. You hadn't wanted to mistrust or assume anything from anyone, but it was obvious that someone in the house had been the culprit, so they had planned a plan to catch him, although they didn't know what they would do next.

They both had their suspicions but nothing was certain, you couldn't imagine which of them could have done something like that, although you had no idea how you would react when you found out who was guilty.

The days passed without finding the culprit, although you were aware of any movement or minimal interaction they had with you, but you couldn't find anyone, although sometimes you thought you felt a heavy look when everyone was present.

It was already late at night when you woke up when you felt Bang Chan's absence by your side, it was something normal, surely he was working on something important so you decided to go back to sleep, but you couldn't no matter how hard you tried.

You got up for a glass of water and you were surprised to see the light on, when you got to the place you saw the figure of a boy sitting peacefully looking at nothing.

"Hey" your voice alarmed Jeongin and you saw him move his hands hiding something and then his face blushed "what are you doing?"

"nothing, just… I can't sleep"

"Me neither" you looked at him trying to discover his suspicious attitude, but in the end you gave up and just sat next to him.

Of all the guys you lived with he was very reserved with you and you were always curious to know what he really was like, but the times you tried to get closer he would just walk away or vaguely answer your questions.

You thought he was just shy, but when he was with his friends he seemed very confident and even joked with them, then you thought he had a hard time talking to girls, but you caught him discreetly flirting with some people a couple of times.

You didn't want to assume anything but you thought of everything, did you think he just didn't like you or maybe he… liked you? but that seemed almost impossible to you knowing who you had as a boyfriend. Bang Chan was more jealous than he seemed, although he always showed himself as someone confident in front of others and even did things to make them realize who you belonged to.

"Do you want some tea?" He denied without looking at you and you got ready to prepare the hot water for yourself "How long have you been here?"

"Not much, a couple of minutes."

"Did you have nightmares?" you asked joking a bit to release the tension

"They were actually dreams…"

"And why don't you go back to sleep then?" You turned to look at him and realized that he had stopped by looking for something in the refrigerator.

"Because they are impossible dreams" the tone in his voice was lower, wanting you not to hear him but you could distinguish his words perfectly "nonsense fantasies."

You didn't know what to answer him but it seemed to you that he was distressed by something, you wanted to hug him but you held back by staying in your place.

"I know we don't talk much, but you can tell me anything" you couldn't ignore your protective side and the words came out without thinking- I'll help you if you need it.

"you can not."

Jeongin looked at you with a strange twinkle in his eyes and looked down at him sighing heavily. This time you ignored all the voices in your head and just extended your arms around his body. You felt him tense under your touch but he didn't try to move away and an instant later his arms wrapped around your waist.

You were only two years older than him but you couldn't help but worry even if you didn't get along much. Your hands went through his hair and you let it sink into your neck while you felt how hard he was to breathe.

"Okay, everything will be fine."

You didn't realize how much time passed until you heard the water sighting that it was ready. You separated it a bit and turned to turn it off and not cause an accident, but you felt a different heat on your back with arms hooked around your waist.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." Jeongin's voice was different and you thought he could snap at any moment, but you still didn't know why he was asking for your forgiveness.

"what are you taking about? Are you okay?" You tried to turn around but he held you, bringing his body closer to yours.

"I didn't want to do it… but I couldn't contain myself."

Now everything was spinning trying to find meaning in his words, but your body tensed when you felt the presence of someone else and a look that interrupted the moment.

"Don't come here to play nice now" Bang chan's voice was enough for the other boy to let go of you, all the alarms in your brain were on and you didn't know what to do.

"It's not what you think."

"I know, the problem is not you" answered Bang chan looking at you but passing his eyes to the boy.

Jeongin's gaze was trying to face your boyfriend, but he took a step back when he approached where they were, even so he didn't run away.

"What are you talking about?" you asked as you took his hand so he wouldn't go any further.

"Tell him," the older man claimed, looking at the other one who was standing only a few steps away from you but with a red face and looking at you and Bang chan, "or do you want me to tell him how you stole his panties?"

You looked at the boy surprised by the confession and your head finally connected everything that just happened a moment ago. His apologies made sense and you finally knew why he was behaving strangely with you.

Bang chan didn't let you think too much when you realized that he was kissing you. You had responded to his movements automatically from him and his hands held your waist sticking closer to his body burning with rage.

You knew what he was trying to do, but you couldn't help but look at Jeongin who had been standing in his place without taking your eyes off how his leader's hands slipped down your behind. Bang chan's kisses were different from everyone else, rougher and wilder, desperate to show who you belonged to. His lips left your mouth going down to your neck to bite him and make you moan.

Your body was already submerged in the sensations of your boyfriend's caresses so that you would stop caring about the presence of a third party. Even so, you bit your lips to keep from moaning too loudly and closed your eyes to ignore the look of desire that Jeongin had on his face.

Bang chan's hands reached under the shirt you were wearing lifting it up a bit only for Jeongin to delight in showing him a bit of your skin. You plucked up your courage and finally looked at the boy who was biting his lip and breathing heavily while he tried to hide the erection he had.

You weren't going to reveal it, but the way his eyes didn't let go of any detail of your movements made your desire rise just a little. Having two boys who wanted you made you feel sexy and you liked that a lot.

You were lost in your thoughts that you remembered the reason when your boyfriend turned you so that your back was against his chest, right in Jeongin's direction and took off your shirt covering your bare breasts with his big hands.

The boy was losing control, this was a visual spectacle too incredible to be true, he didn't know what to do but the adrenaline in his system forced him to detail the curves of your skin that Bang chan let him see, but it was torture not being able to feel you. He didn't know what he had done to deserve such a punishment… actually he did know and if he had known that this would happen he would have done it a long time ago.

Bang chan squeezed your breasts hard, trying to make his anger lessen with each moan that you tried to suppress, but he couldn't take his eyes off the culprit who obviously enjoyed it and only let the fire inside him increase, dragging you to his chest with him passed.

"Is this what you imagined?" he squeezed your nipples between his fingers causing you to bite your lips but turn to look at the defendant "surely you were thinking about how his body would look, right?"

Jeongin just looked at your breasts to Bang chan but he didn't answer anything, what was he supposed to say? yes? that every night he imagined how you would look on top of him or how your lips moved around his cock or better yet, he tried to imagine the feeling of your walls squeezing him while he touched himself with your panties.

Bang chan's mouth attacked your neck and one of his hands descended your abdomen until it got under your shorts, caressed your wet center and arched your back at the sensation you had been waiting for a long time.

Bang chan knew your body, he knew which parts to touch so you could get there or just letting you float in the sensation when he wanted to take his time. You didn't need to ask him to be more or less fast, he knew what you wanted and that's why he put one of his fingers inside you.

Although your lips were sealed, a moan was heard from you that reached Jeongin's ears. The pressure between his legs was starting to bother him but he didn't want to be more of a pervert than he had been before, so he bit his lip as he saw how your gaze never left his eyes and you scratched your boyfriend's arms while he held you up. pleasured as he would have liked to.

You were concentrating on Bang chan's fingers caressing your clitoris that sometimes you let out a loud moan, your lips already hurt from trying to close them and you didn't want anyone else to find out what was happening in the kitchen, although the idea crept into your mind.

The minor was in pain and you could see how his hands were clenched at his sides trying not to touch his erection, it looked so bad that you wanted to help him. You extended a hand to him and you saw how he took a step but a second later he stopped looking at the man behind you.

Bang chan was still angry with his friend, if that's what he could call it now, but seeing you with him before he interrupted them had caused him a bit of tenderness to see how you could care for a little pervert like him. What was it that Jeongin wanted to do to you?

He nodded even with his fingers in you, immersing one inside you when he was a few steps away from you, drawing a stronger sigh from you than the others.

Your hand finally reached it and you reached out to stifle your moans now that Bang chan had started pumping his fingers into you. His lips didn't move at first but when he felt yours open he let himself be carried away by the emotions and thoughts he had.

He recorded the taste of your mouth and how your lips were softer than he had imagined, but it was certainly better than his dirty mind allowed himself to think. He didn't know where to put his hands and you guided him to your breasts that were sensitive from the caresses before.

Jeongin's mind was a mess and his body was trembling from having contained his impulses so much but he forced himself to continue while his fingers squeezed your nipples and your hands slipped down his pants caressing over his member while your kisses wavered from time to time for the pleasure you had of the two men.

Your legs were bent and only Bang chan's hand around your waist made you not spill on the floor while he continued with his fingers inside you touching that sweet spot with which he knew you could leave.

"Are you pressing too hard for a few more caresses?" Bang chan asked in your ear, provoking you while you separated from Jeongin's mouth for a moment and got lost in your neck, but the older one took him by the hair making his lips leave only the trace of her saliva on your skin "don't even think about marking her" he said with a hoarse voice, pressing inside you making you moan "she's mine, you're only here because she wants you, do you understand?"

Jeongin didn't say anything but with a great fear inside he managed to nod making them let go to return to where he was without forgetting his warning. Bang chan turned your head to the side to press his lips to yours and shut you up as he felt you cum on his fingers.

Your mind could barely keep up with everything that was going on around you with Jeongin's kisses on your breasts and Bang chan's hands getting rid of your wet clothes from his caresses. You were at the mercy of his desires and you wanted to please them both the way they wanted.

You separated a bit from both of you and with your eyes on you, you lowered your shorts by yourself, intentionally pushing your butt towards your boyfriend, bumping your pussy with his hardened member and looking up at Jeongin knowing that his erection was in front of your face.

You kept removing your shirt and leaving your breasts exposed, making them hard from the cold air, but it didn't last long until the younger's hands squeezed them gently massaging them.

Your hands quickly found his pants button releasing his erection after what seemed like an eternity and he moaned close to your mouth as your fingers spread the precum over his length.

You guided him until he collided with the edge of the table and then he saw how your hands went up his shirt showing his chest but you didn't remove it, you just took a part of the edge and put it in his mouth, he didn't quite understand what you wanted to do but he obeyed you while you put your fingers with some of the clothes in his mouth.

It wasn't until after I saw that you leaned your body and left a kiss on its tip, making it bite the fabric so as not to make noise. He delighted in seeing how one of his fantasies was about to come true and he decided not to miss any detail of how your lips curved around his cock.

Bang Chan couldn't stay behind watching his girlfriend suck someone else's cock while you offered your wet pussy in his direction. In a second he was already naked behind you caressing your entrance with his tip while you played with the minor, but then an idea occurred to him.

You knew that your boyfriend was not going to sit idly by seeing you like that and you expected him to take you as he liked, but feeling him so soft and just massaging his tip from top to bottom was something you did not understand, until you realized it that I was doing the same thing as your tongue on Jeongin's dick.

Then you turned your tongue at the tip and inserted it a bit, feeling how Bang chan's hips moved, filling your interior, you moaned when you felt him hit bottom even though you still hadn't moved.

Although if he began to follow your rhythm at the same time that your head moved by Jeongin's member that did not take his eyes off your lips. His eyes connected and you got wet every time you noticed how his lips pressed harder on his clothes, leaving a saliva stain.

Your boyfriend had not stopped moving and had added his fingers to your clitoris making it more and more difficult to keep up, but you felt how little by little he pushed you into your high and that motivated you to continue serving the man in front of you.

Jeongin knew he couldn't take it anymore and in response he took your head making your mouth swallow all of his cock to feel the adjustment of your throat on him. You had had your hands on his thighs the whole time and now they were marked with your footprints while your face was adorned with crystals in your eyes.

Bang chan did not agree with that and he took you by the waist taking you off the minor while he spilled his liquid on the ground and you recovered due to lack of oxygen. Jeongin was also breathing hard while he noticed that even so in your mouth there were some drops of his essence in you and he smiled cheekily.

"stop smiling like that" the boy instantly erased his laughter but didn't take his eyes off the spectacle of their united bodies while you still looked at him "you may have cummed, but only I can make her do it and now you'll have than to see it"

Your boyfriend separated from you only for quick movements to position you on the table where Jeongin had been. He spread your legs and placed himself inside you again making you moan with his name. Even if you weren't saying his, Jeongin was successful again seeing how you enjoyed being filled by imagining again that he was the one in that position.

Although he had had a bit of you it hadn't been enough but this was the closest I had come to his fantasies and he wanted to touch you again but when his hands wanted to touch your breasts Bang chan's mouth was faster and I kiss them.

Jeongin understood that what you did was all he was going to have of you and that now that Bang chan was on your body he no longer had a chance to get close, even so he did not move and resorted to his old habits massaging with his hand while watching. how your face contracted every time Bang chan left a mark on your body as a warning sign.

You felt your boyfriend's member tremble inside you and you couldn't help but squeeze it letting him know what you wanted, even though you knew he was holding back more than necessary to show Jeongin who you belonged to and you agreed and that's why you didn't stop moaning his name every time his cock hit your already sore pussy.

Bang chan was proud to hear his name and the marks he had left on your body but it was time for you to have what you had expected and that is why he did not hesitate to move fast and hard hitting you to the bottom so that you would receive it while your legs wrapped around your waist

Your pussy was squeezing him and he couldn't take it anymore and he only broke free as he attacked your neck to mark it again but he couldn't stop listening to the little annoying sighs that Jeongin made as he also came again in his hand.

You felt how Bang chan released himself, giving you every last drop, making you cum as well, mixing with him. The only thing that could be heard was the agitated breathing of the three of them and you felt how the tension that had gone away flooded the room again.

Your boyfriend didn't get detached from you covering your body with his clothes to cover you from the minor's view.

"I hope this was enough for you to stop…" you closed your eyes pretending you didn't hear anything while you clung to Bang chan's neck "and if not…"

"I'll forget it."

was all they heard as Jeongin got dressed again trying to believe his own words knowing that after this his desire would be stronger now that he had had a bit of you.

#bang chan #stray kids #bangchan skz #skz smut #bangchan hard hours #kpop boys #stray kids imagines #bang chan smut #jeongin #hyunjin #i.n stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz jeongin #jeongin hard hours

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shifting-with-august · 3 months

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guys, guyssssss I think I did it...

I THINK I SHIFTED.

I haven't been able to have lucid dreams lately and I honestly have been stressing about it for the past few days. During the day, I'd affirm that I will go lucid when I dream, or that I will shift.

Last night, I ended up having a dream. You know, just random scenarios and stuff. It was just another dream that I can't even recall now because they're hazy. But in the middle of the dream, I eventually started becoming more conscious and finally, I went lucid.

Upon realizing that I was already in that state, I immediately started to affirm that I will shift. I kept saying that I will shift. I didn't want to let it slip away. I remember asking myself, "is there even a final push? What the heck do I need to do to finally do this?" I was just so desperate because I know I'm getting there. I was already lucid, I couldn't let the chance slip away. And that's when I realized and started to affirm this: "I know that I am capable of shifting, I can shift." As soon as I said that, I felt like I was falling and spinning at the same time. It was all happening too fast. Then I woke up.

I was in a dark room, though it wasn't totally dark because there was a faint light coming from a night lamp or something. I looked around and started to realize that I was in my CR room. It looked similar but different at the same time. It was the exact same room but with different decorations and all. I don't even use a night lamp in my CR room. It felt like I really just woke up.

I decided to touch the mattress, and it was so real. I felt how soft it was, and I also felt the stitches on its hem. However, it did not last long as I started to feel my awareness of being in that room slip away. I remember trying hard to not slip away from that state. I started affirming and I felt the sensation of spinning again. Only this time, when the spinning stopped, it was like I'm back to a dream state.

I don't even know how to process this. I don't even know how to distinguish if it truly is a shift or just another dream. But I know what I felt. It also wasn't my dr. Probably a parallel reality, another version of this CR. Still, regardless if this was an actual shift or not, I think I was able to get a very important lesson; something I will use the next time I try this again. It just clicked. BELIEVE. Believe in your ability to shift.

The moment I started to affirm and believe that I can, it gave me this experience.

#reality shifting #shifting realities #shiftblr #shifting community #desired reality #shifting #shifting blog #reality shifter #shifting stories

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jungkook97 · 1 year

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fling;; jjk

pairing: canon idol!jungkook x reporter!reader

word count: 4.6k

rating: ma

genre/warnings: romance, angst

summary: you were interviewing bangtan and couldn't help but felt a level of closeness to the youngest member. soon after, jungkook ended up taking a liking to you, proposing that you two should meet up throughout the week while he was in town for a little fun.

notes: this has been a fantasy of mine. it's angst as usual, but it's more so of lost connections that the boys may have upon going on these promo cycles overseas.

this also exists within the decision to leave jungkook fictional universe from the perspective of the reader.

You were nervous. Very nervous.

Your hands were shaking a bit, clammy as you wiped the sweat off on your dress as you checked your Apple Watch for the fifteenth time. It wouldn’t really change anything but more so of a tick that you had whenever you were nervous.

It was the first time you were assigned to interview with an A-list celebrity, or rather, an A-list group. You followed their careers from nearly the beginning, slowly becoming a major fan (minus the unhinged nature of being a stan, of course). It was as if you were living your dreams out in reality, something that you never thought in a hundred years or even this lifetime that you could do.

And so, you held your breath as the time ticked closer and closer to their arrival. The staff had arrived to go over some topics that you couldn’t talk about, the usual: dating, anything super personal, and anything that would be anti-capitalistic (although you had a feeling that some of the members wouldn’t have minded having such conversations). You knew the drill at that point as you zoned off, thinking about how you would be interviewing the biggest band in the world, talking to them and them actually responding back to you in real time.

It was hard to grasp for you. Like everyone else, you always saw BTS as a group that meets a lot of people every single day, not really being able to distinguish faces or fully pay attention like operating on autopilot. The idea that they would be perceiving you drove you insane as your heart thumped ever so loudly in your eardrums, wondering who you saved in a past life to deserve interviewing a group you admired for so long.

Eventually, the time came to usher them in, and you held your breath in anticipation, continuing to self-soothe yourself by rubbing your hands on your thighs as they walked in one by one, looking exactly the same. You had seen them in concert in the press boxes, maybe a few times up close as a fan, but having them bow to you in greeting…it was a lot.

“H-hi,” you mustered all the courage to start the greeting, meeting eyes with every single member slowly, taking it all in. They responded, leaving your heart leaping for joy and also with an uncomfortable, but not uneasy feeling in your throat. You felt like it caught a mass while you were waiting for them, but you knew it was just simply nerves. “S-sorry if I’m too nervous around y’all–”

All of them started chuckling, with Namjoon putting his hands up in attempt to comfort you (it did a bit).

“It is totally okay,” Namjoon spoke in his usual deep voice, perhaps an octave lower than you anticipated. “We get this pretty often, actually.”

You flushed in embarrassment, shifting in your seat trying to feel a bit more comfortable. You could feel the heat of all seven of them having their undivided attention to you, and the studio lights being as hot too. You weren’t sure if you were sweating everywhere else, if you smelled, if you shaved enough to get rid of any peach fuzz, or if you put enough makeup to look just as gorgeous as they were.

It didn’t matter anymore. You were in the moment. Too late to go back now.

You took a quick deep breath, exhaling slowly as you heard your cameraperson stating that they were ready to roll.

“Let’s begin.”

It was easier than expected. Your nerves got the best of you at first as you stuttered the first few questions out before taking a five minute break. It was embarrassing, but the boys understood, trying to coax you and comfort you by stating that they get it often.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to be another young fan acting like a high school girl around their crush!” you laughed, wiping your tears away from the welling of tears as you were overstimulated (you had disclosed to them awkwardly about your neurodivergence, something that Yoongi immediately nodded and expressed his understanding much to your surprise).

“You’d be surprised,” Namjoon reassured, smiling. “There was a male reporter earlier that kept freaking out about Jin-hyung.”

“Really?” you chuckled as the members nodded in agreement, talking to their oldest in Korean, probably teasing him. You weren’t fluent in Korean, but you could tell from Jin’s red ears that they were making fun of the situation.

“Yeah, it was funny,” Hoseok said, his light and bouncy voice filling up the room. He had become as fluent as Namjoon was over the past year after having spent a year in the U.S. after his enlistment. “Like, I think he got a…crush?”

“Ey, no~” Seokjin protested, you understand for him to disagree. He spoke some more, in which the interpreter from the earpiece all of you had translated, “He was a fan of all of us.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it was just you,” Hoseok pressed via interpreter. “I can tell he was one of us,” he pointed to him and Jimin (the both of them had come out to the public two weeks ago together as a part of the LGBTQ+ community).

“A crush, huh? Worldwide Handsome getting everyone!” you laughed as the interpreter did as well, translating for the rest of the team. Everyone agreed, giggling as well.

“Can we continue?” Namjoon piped in, his index finger imitating an old film camera rolling. You nodded, gesturing to the cameraman to continue.

You and BTS talked about a lot of things at length, questions that you never thought you would ever say to them. Surprisingly, a lot of the more “controversial” opinions got past the company, perhaps from all the work the boys had done to be as transparent to the fans as possible. Most of what you speculated the boys had felt during their hiatus were validated, and some were debunked to your surprise. You were shocked to learn that most of them had a lot of control over their solo activities, if not complete control despite what the conversation was at the time on Twitter.

Eventually, the boys turned the mic back to you, asking something that caught you off guard.

“We heard you’re a huge fan of Jungkook’s,” Jimin beamed in mischief, nudging the youngest to pay attention. Jungkook had barely spoken at that point, but you had felt his eyes on you the entire time, getting you a bit flustered sometimes.

Jimin wasn’t wrong. You were the biggest fan of Jungkook’s, mostly ever since his sudden glow-up with his tattoo sleeve. You had a soft spot for the kid (you were a few years older than him), and seeing him grow into this confident and sexy late-20 something was satisfying for you to see.

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered out, your hands covering your mouth in shock. “How did you guys know?”

“Ah…” Jimin trailed off, looking towards his other members. “I think Namjoon-hyung found your Twitter fan account yesterday?”

Fuck.

“What?!” you exclaimed, standing up. The members cracked up as Namjoon began to protest, putting his hands up. “You stalked me?!” you asked teasingly.

“No! It’s just…” Namjoon started stuttering as well, caught in the act. “I heard from our translator that you were a big fan and so, I did some digging…”

“Well, you did a lot of digging!” you argued back, laughing and flushing madly. You didn’t want to look at Jungkook at this point, although you felt he was embarrassed based on how much he was shifting in his seat from the corner of your eye.

You felt like you wanted to die. Die in a sense, you now knew that Namjoon saw your unhinged tweets about the group’s maknae. You wondered how far he scrolled down, if he saw your tweets crying about Jungkook’s sparkly ensemble at the last concert stop a few days ago that amassed to tens of thousands of tweets. You wondered how he even found it, considering that you didn’t even follow your fan account on your public one. Maybe you forgot to unlink it on your YouTube account, or maybe you had accidentally shared the numbers on your Instagram. It didn’t matter: Namjoon found it.

It grew awkwardly quiet, and you could still feel the gaze from the youngest. You were too scared to even look at him. What if he thought you were insane or unhinged? Did Namjoon even show the tweets to him? You were mortified at the thought of him staring in disbelief.

What was even worse is that he knew before you guys officially met, meaning he had been staring at you the entire time in silence, probably mortified that an obsessed, crazed fan of his was conducting the interview. In fact, it made sense as to why he was so quiet: he probably was judging you for being batshit nuts on your stan account about him.

“Ah, I shouldn’t have said that,” Jimin sighed loudly, his words being translated. “Now it’s all awkward…”

“N-no, it’s okay,” you lied, shuffling your interview cards. “I had a feeling you guys have your burner Twitter accounts just watching us,” you squinted your eyes at Namjoon. His cheeks turned red as you did the same, your heart fluttering.

“It’s just Namjoon,” Hoseok emphasized, even though you knew that to be a lie. “He has too much time in his hands.”

“Ey, shut up,” Namjoon said in Korean, chuckling. “Well…don’t you want to say something to Jungkook, maybe?”

You blinked.

“Say what?”

He shrugged, smiling.

“I don’t know, I thought you guys would be the type to want to say something to someone you really admire. I’m sure Jungkook would like to hear from his biggest fan,” he teased.

You blushed madly, laughing nervously.

“I didn’t prepare or anything,” you began making excuses, your eyes slowly moving toward Jungkook’s direction to gauge his reaction. It took a few seconds, probably from the interpreter for him to understand what was going on before he sat up straight immediately, clearing his throat.

“Yeah!” Jungkook exclaimed a bit too loudly, clearing his throat again. “I wanna…hear.”

The rest of the members echoed the same sentiments.

“Ah fuck,” you muttered. Not BTS putting you on the spot to confess your feelings. It wasn’t something you really wanted to do in front of the entire group and the crew, but the crew kept pressuring you to do it. After all, it would make great TikTok content. It was then you turned away from the group, just dying from embarrassment.

“Come on, it would be so cute,” your PD encouraged you.

“But it’s so embarrassing,” you whined as you flushed wildly, your back toward the group. “I have so much to say.”

“I’m sure Jungkook wants to hear all of it. He seems to really like you!”

Your heart skipped a beat from hearing that. That was true, the group and you kept having great laughs and teases throughout the entire interview.

“Fine, fine.”

You took a deep breath, nodding towards Nicole, their interpreter. You could see Jungkook leaning in closer as you began.

“You’ve always been my favorite,” you began. “And uh, I always admired that you always did what you wanted no matter how many people said you shouldn’t. You’re strong and rebellious, something that I admire because I wish I had half of that strength…”

You closed your eyes at this point, your eyes swirling in its eye sockets. You couldn’t believe you were saying this to Jungkook who was right in front of you. For a moment, you forgot that you were interviewing him, that it was a professional setting. You felt like you needed to say all of this, knowing full well how much Jungkook had felt insecure about his image change and how he was being perceived. He was pretty explicit about that in the recent lives you were able to catch, and you wanted to comfort him.

“And I know that a lot of people have a lot to say about you, and as an older fan, I just want to say…not all of us are like that. I’m not, at least. I want you to be happy, to be loved, to be able to not be restricted by society’s standards. I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what, that you will always be my favorite person. I hope one day, you will find someone or something that will make you feel like home, Jungkook. I want…”

You swallowed.

“I want you to be comforted. And unconditionally loved.”

You sighed deeply, shaking your head as you opened your eyes, looking right at Jungkook. You felt a bit confident after all of that as Nicole continued translating for him. He was listening intently, crossing his arms trying to digest all that you said.

“Ah…” he vocalized a few times, nodding his head. His eyes grew glassy as he closed his eyes a bit.

There was silence, this time more comfortable than before. You held your breath in anticipation, wondering how he reacted to that. Was it too much? Were you being a little too extra?

Fuck, that was too much was it.

“I’m sorry if that’s a lot,” you blubbered out, putting your hands up in defense. “I…kind of lost myself there.”

A moment of silence for the translations.

Jungkook laughed.

“Ah, it’s okay,” he said in Korean. “Uh…”

He smacked his lips together, his eyes looking at the floor sheepishly. He then looked up at you, his eyes sparkling with genuine happiness and joy.

“Thank you,” his voice echoed in your skull as he thanked you in English.

You looked away abruptly, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. It was a lot, and you felt like you could die at any moment.

“Uh, let’s take a break, yeah?” Namjoon piped in. You agreed, taking your lavalier mic off and running straight to the bathroom.

Or rather, let’s end this so I can die in a corner, probably.

It wasn’t long until the interview was over, much to your dismay. While it felt like you were floating on clouds, it felt too short, too professional for your liking.

Ever since your confession though, you felt a pair of eyes intently following your every movement, or so you thought anyways. You never once coded Jungkook’s stare to be intense, but he was quite attentive after your little spiel, nodding and laughing at your jokes (even though it was off by a few seconds for translations). You wished that you were native in your own tongue, but as the interview went on, you surprisingly knew more than you thought, laughing at the supposed inside jokes they had. You guys went briefly over the infamous dumpling incident, which, at this point, had its own lore.

The boys felt approachable for once, although you knew for quite some time that they would be. You were similar in age with them after all, the same age as Namjoon give or take a few months. It felt like you were talking as friends rather than an actual interview that you were being paid to do.

Nonetheless, the interview was a success, and you were packing your things up to go home.

That was, until Namjoon approached you.

“Hey,” he began, startling you. Your eyes widened at him coming up, being his normal self.

“Hey,” you managed to say back, trying not to freak out. Is he about to do what I think he’s about to do? “What’s up?”

“Uh…” Namjoon put his hands in his pockets, smiling sheepishly. “I was wondering if you wanna get dinner with Jungkook and I. He told me he really liked your energy today, and was wondering if we could talk more over some food.”

Holy shit. Is this real?

“Uh….” was all your stupid self could say, gawking at him as if he said something completely unintelligible. “Um…”

Say yes, you asshole.

“It’s fine if you have to like, uh, edit and shit,” he continued, his eyes averting away from you, his voice trailing off.

Fuck, dude. Say something back. Say YES.

“Um…”

Then, you saw Jungkook at a distance, overwatching the whole conversation. His lips were pursed into a pout, his neck extending toward the direction of you two, perhaps trying to hear what was going on. There was no way you could be making this up. Jungkook seemed… interested in wanting to spend more time with you.

Romantic? Unsure. But definitely interested.

This wasn’t the first time a celebrity has asked you to dinner (in fact, you were a looker yourself, whether you liked it or not), but with BTS? They were more definitely out of your league. However, you felt like you had been friendly at this point, so why not?

“Yeah, why not?”

Dinner was a blast. In fact, it was the most fun you ever had.

While you and Namjoon exchanged even more funnier quips, teases and passionate arguments about life, you and Jungkook sat next to each other, just feeling rather comfortable. It wasn’t to say that you two were feeling each other up, but Jungkook, an avid fan of Namjoon’s, was taking your side the entire time, initiating contact here and there to definitely show more than just platonic interest. You were taken aback at first, recoiling your hand when he “accidentally” brushed his hands against yours, but after a while, you leaned into him, showing your desire to get closer too.

Jungkook wasn’t as shy as you thought he was, and by the time dinner was over, he was playing footsies with you, his shoulder leaning against your own but disguised as him getting a bit too drunk for everyone’s liking (well, Namjoon’s anyways). Namjoon showed signs of feeling like the major third wheel, but he was, after all, the wingman in all of this, awkwardly smiling his infamous smile when he felt out of place.

“Ah, you guys look really comfortable, huh?” Namjoon pointed the obvious out in his native tongue as you laughed. Jungkook leaned into you as you cupped his face with the biggest grin ever seen.

“He’s adorable,” you replied back. “Cuter off-camera, if you ask me.”

“Gag,” Namjoon teased. “You guys need a room?”

You were staring into Jungkook’s doe eyes at this point, the chocolate pools of wonder. He was deeply in love, or at least, enamored by your presence. It turned out he was feeling you as well throughout the interview, and something in the air felt right to him. Not per se, bells ringing in his ear (he was past the romanticism), but he wanted more. So much more than what you two could do in front of Namjoon.

“Can we use yours, hyung?”

It didn’t take long before you two fucked after Namjoon and the two of you parted ways. In fact, both of you leaped onto each other madly the moment the door closed behind you. Of course, it was met with the typical NDA the morning after, something that you were quite used to at this point. It was a given that your night with him would be done in secrecy and with a contract to never speak of it, but to be honest, you weren’t planning to do that anyways. Jungkook was yours, even if it was for a split second.

“You’re incredibly beautiful, you know,” Jungkook breathlessly said after some time had passed, your bodies entangled with each other under the pillowy white sheets. “I never felt like I could just connect with someone I just barely knew.”

You grinned back, kissing his lips and the rest of his face.

“Call it karmic,” you replied back.

Jungkook, not knowing what the word was, leaned back in confusion.

“Kar…mic?”

“Uh…” you struggled to find the Korean word equivalent, trying to run through your shoddy vocabulary. “Um…it’s like…fate…?”

You weren’t sure what the word was, although it seemed to be received well with Jungkook. His pupils grew dilated as his mouth relaxed into a comfortable smile. He closed his eyes, leaning against you.

“Ah…fate, right?”

You blushed wildly.

“Yeah…fate.”

For the next week, you two met up every night in between your guys’ respective craziest schedules. Thankfully, it was easy because you were able to attend their next show (at the request from the artist, of course). While the others were in the press box though, you were in the family and friends’ box in which Jungkook may or may not have secretly passed by to steal a kiss or a hug. The two of you had agreed that this would be a short thing, nothing too serious. After all, the language barrier was a bit rough, and you two were working professionals.

However, you couldn’t help but to feel more of a connection besides a little fling because well, both of you were totally into each other. He eventually gave his personal cell (or at least, the U.S. one he used in the States) to text, something that Jungkook admitted he didn’t do often. Adoringly, he had his read receipts on, and it looked like he always checked to see what you wrote, even if it took a good hour or two to respond.

“I’m getting better at it, okay? Heh,” he would write, sending butterflies in your stomach. He was making an effort, although you can never be sure if he was like this with other people. Not that it mattered, you knew what it was, and you weren’t going to be caught up in it.

As the days went on, you and Jungkook started sharing intimate details about each other, something that you only had when it was a real relationship. This confused you, but maybe it was because you used to be the only one who did it as a part of the neurodivergence part of your personality. You found out more about his flings, how much he craved for more than just fucking around.

“I don’t know,” he said one night as you brushed your fingers through his hair, his face buried deep into your chest. “I feel like…you know, I want something more with all of these people. Like…I’m wasting my time whenever I do these things, but…I can’t help it. How can I find someone when I’m Jungkook of BTS?”

It was a lot to take in, but you took it on like a champ. There were thoughts that you wondered what Jungkook would think about, and it felt unreal that he could say all of these things to you in the comfort of his hotel room, away from all the lights and the glitz and the glamour. In this moment, in this scene in your guys’ story together, he was yours.

“Do you want more?” you asked quietly. You weren’t sure as to what you were saying, but it felt right to ask.

He shifted his head and moved it up to see yours, closing the gap between you two.

“Always. I always want to be loved unconditionally.”

It was getting complicated, fast.

You weren’t sure how to end it. In fact, time was ending it for you. It was Jungkook’s last day in the States, and it seemed like Jungkook suggested you go on tour with him for the next stop, Central America. While you weren’t entirely opposed to it, you knew where this was going. Last time, a celebrity had suggested that you to do a documentary film on them, and while you were flattered, it was just another way to keep you around at their convenience.

It wasn’t to say that Jungkook was being selfish. Rather, it was the circumstances that made him think this way. With how restrictive the industry was, and how incredibly famous Jungkook was as well, it was hard for him to see people besides those closest to him, which at this point, had began to warn you during your time in the family and friends’ box at the shows about Jungkook’s quick attachment to people.

“I know he always says he doesn’t get attached, but he really does,” an ex-fling told you in confidence in between VCRs. “He told me he was going to keep it professional, but the guy lies.”

You were dreading it. Although you felt great that you slept with your favorite, it wasn’t your intention to get anything more out of it because well, what is there left? You signed an NDA, the company regularly asked if you two used a condom…it was getting invasive, weird, and it was starting to turn you off.

And so, the last night came through and you two met up again. This time, you knew it was the last time, and to Jungkook, maybe the start of something new.

As you began to pack up your things, Jungkook laid on the bed sprawled out underneath the sheets.

“So…Mexico…” he began. You sighed, knowing it was coming.

“No, Jungkook,” you replied, turning toward him. “As much as I liked this, I can’t travel with you.”

“I’m not asking for you to travel with me,” he rebutted, sitting up and grabbing his shirt to put it back on in one hand. “I’m just saying, come with me to the next show! It would be great coverage for the magazine.”

“Jungkook-ah, that’s not how it works,” you doubled down, zipping up your weekend bag before putting your jacket on. “I have to get approval from my editor. Plus, people are starting to talk, and frankly, I started getting texts from your fans about us.”

There it was, what you had been hiding. Honestly, you were used to it from the last celebrity you hooked up with, but this time, his fans, or his stalkers to be exact, knew everything about you, threatening to ruin your life if you didn’t stop fucking him. It was getting emotionally taxing, but you wanted to hide that from him. After all, you were confident that wasn’t his first time hearing this.

“They’re not my fans and you know this,” he argued, now getting up and putting on his Adidas track pants. “The real ones will know it’s a little fling.”

“Do they though? Do you though?”

There it was, the hard truth.

Silence enveloped between you two, and Jungkook stood there in the dark with his hands in his pockets. He was staring at you, his eyes clearly pleading for you to not leave.

“Don’t leave,” Jungkook’s words came after. “I know this seems a lot, but I really like you. We can make it work.”

Make it work…as if that could ever be a thing.

You walked toward Jungkook with your weekender bag slung over your shoulders. Slipping your shoes on as well, you came closer to him, his breath hitched as you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you began. “We can’t keep doing this. This is our last night together.”

He exhaled sharply, his eyes closing slowly.

“I know.”

It didn’t take long before you two blocked each other on everything, pretending that you two didn’t exist to each other. It took a few more weeks before the fans stopped bothering you, probably focusing on the next fling Jungkook had.

And so there it was, you had a fling with one of the biggest stars in the world.

If only you knew what would happen next.

END.

#jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #writing #mine #this jungkook has been haunting my dreams for ever tbh bc you know. i'm in media and i can't imagine being in this position kdlahglshg #he totally would be so in luv but knows it can't go any further than that you know #but yeah i figured i can make a bit of a wong kar wai universe thing for decision to leave jungkook to flesh him out better #and someone did request to make stories in the pov of the reader so here u go!#yes i left it like that on purpose haha #dtl

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ramoth13 · 2 years

Text

Thoughts on an old love:

Vertigo Comics

With the release of the recent Sandman show (highly recommend!!! Mr. Gaiman is, as always, a brilliant storyteller), I thought it might be time to have a look back on my favorite publisher back in the day. I know a few people (especially towards its final days) didn't really distinguish Vertigo Comics from DC comics, but when I tell you that there was a difference, I mean it was just something that can't be replicated.

I don't exactly remember which Vertigo comic I read first. It could've been The House of Mystery or Hellblazer but I'm pretty sure it was Fables. And that's the thing, they were all so special.

I grew up reading comics because my older brother and my Dad before him had grown up reading them. Shazam and superman were Dad's favorites, Batman, JLA, and Green Lantern (Kyle Rainer) were my brother's. But I had grown up watching the Batman Animated Series, where Bruce Wayne was kind, and Batman wasn't jaded, but hopeful, and the comics started pulling away from that.

That's when it happened, I noticed that the characters kept changing, kept evolving from writer to writer, moving further and further from the ones that I knew. Superheroes had been around a long time and couldn't stay the same. Writers had new ideas, new ways to represent the old. Batman was mean, condescending, and sometimes cruel. If they couldn't be updated, they were killed off. Superman lost his love of Lois. Spiderman killed someone. The characters I thought I knew, no longer looked like the ones I loved. So in 2008 I stopped reading them.

But I missed comics. Later, a friend of mine gave me some digital comics, probably illegally now that I'm old enough to know better, but one of them was Fables. I read over 30 comics in one day. I ate them up. And whichever one I read next, Hellblazer or House of Mystery, I read those too. And then, because of course, I read Sandman which opened me up to a world I was already falling in love with. And V for Vendetta, and the Watchmen, Preacher, American Vampire, Y:The Last Man, and The Books of Magic. These were stories that spoke to my very being.

Anything with a Vertigo Logo was gold. The stories beautiful, compelling, and mindbending. The characters were diverse, intriguing, and mysterious. It was like finding a pillar of magic in a sea of ever evolving stories that could never decide on a true identity for itself, Vertigo knew what it wanted to be. The stories haunted me.

SPOILERS:

From Dream besting Lucifer in the oldest game, to Constantine fighting his demon twin, to Bigby Wolf FINALLY marrying Snow White (And Prince Charming's grand return), to finding out who the REAL adversary was in motherlands, these stories never deviated or changed on whims, they always felt honest, sincere, and true to themselves.

:END OF SPOILERS~

There are many other non-DC/Marvel publishers that I love, from Dark Horse (Conan series and Hellboy), to Image (SAGA, Magdelena, and WANTED), to even smaller publishers like ASPEN and Zenescope. Yet, none of these, nor DC or Marvel will ever feel the same as as Vertigo in its heyday.

DC may have made Constantine a superhero, the Watchmen a series, and added all of the best magical parts of Vertigo into its official brand, but the things that made those stories special have stayed with those original books. Nothing against the writers at DC, they work hard and I have no doubt try to remain faithful to the originals... but contrary to what DC wants you to think with their magical league of superheroes, you can't capture magic in a bottle.

And VERTIGO had magic, in spades.

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btsasmr · 2 years

Text

Love motel (Jimin) ~ English

Warnings: None, just fluff

N/A: This is the first fic I write so I apologize for any spelling and/or grammatical errors. Please don't hesitate to comment your opinion, it helps me a lot :). Enjoy! <3.

It was a pleasant afternoon in the city of Seoul. The sun was about to set and numerous orange hues could be distinguished in the sky painting the firmament.

The city was very busy as many people were returning home after a tiring day at work or just enjoying a stroll watching the beautiful sunset.

You were walking with your boyfriend Jimin. Both holding hands, you were on your way to spend a night at a Love Motel. You had heard about those places many times and you were curious to go, besides, it seemed like a very romantic way to have intimacy for both of you.

When you finally arrived Jimin rented a room and you immediately headed to your floor. When you got to the room you marveled at what you saw: the room was decorated with a large heart that gave off light behind the bed in purple tones that filled the room and made this moment more intimate and warm. In addition, on the bedside tables there were small heart-shaped lamps as well as the armchairs.

"Do you like it?" - Jimin asked behind you.

"I love it, love" - you turned to him and gave him a tender kiss on the lips. - "It's still early, the sun has barely gone down. What do you think we could do now?

"We can give each other lots and lots of love" - his hands rested on your cheeks and he began to leave soft kisses on your mouth as he guided you to the bed. When you fell onto the bed, he got on top of you and covered you both with the sheet. His lips never left yours. -He said, "What do you think? Do you like the idea?"

"I couldn't have a better plan."

At that moment a few tears began to fall from your eyes as you admired the man who was with you now. Your life had never been easy, you went through several painful situations that you thought you could never overcome and even after meeting Jimin there were still fears left inside you from your experiences. However, now that you were with him you felt that all your fears vanished and your heart began to beat again.

For him there was no other person as beautiful as you and he made sure to prove it to you at every moment. He helped you overcome all your insecurities and the aftermath of your past confrontations with life.

For the first time you felt loved. For the first time you felt you were happy again.

"Honey"-he whispered and began to wipe away the tears that were sliding down your cheeks.

" I-I'm sorry Jimin"- you looked him in the eyes and smiled faintly - "it's just that when I think about what you are here, with me, and when I think that this is not a dream but it's real and there is someone who loves me I just… I can't help it"- you wiped your tears with your hand.

"Love, you have nothing to worry about. I will always be with you yes? You are the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me in my life. How could I not love you? You are the most beautiful and sweetest person I have ever met."

"I-I love you"- you said still between sobs and hugged his neck.

"I love you too my life"

The rest of the night you spent hugging each other. You with your head on his chest and him hugging you from behind. Neither of you wanted to separate.

Jimin smiled as you fell asleep in his arms and watched your face as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

"I promise I will never leave you" - he whispered and then placed a soft kiss on your head and fell asleep next to you.

#bts fanfic #bts drabble #bts x you #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts one shot #Jimin #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #jimin x reader

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maple-bow · 1 year

Text

Morgan woke up and went about her day.

Crap, she's not dead is she? Thought Morgan, wondering about the fate of Cass.

No she isn't. Morgan decided. Cass could not be dead because Cass was never real. She was just a character in a lucid dream Morgan had been having.

Morgan went to work and started handing out cards advertising her boss's one man show, but had trouble concentrating as she did so. Real or not, she kept wondering what had happened to Cassandra.

When it was time for bed, Morgan could hear whispers in her head as she was falling asleep. This was not unusual for her, but this time she thought she might be hearing Cass. The voice became more clear as Morgan fell asleep.

You murdered my body so I will murder your soul.

When Morgan woke up, she reassured herself that the voice meant nothing. Even if Cass was real, and the voice was an indication of such, the voice had indicated Cass was dead, which meant she'd lost sentience, and didn't have the power to murder anyone's soul, much less Morgan's.

That night, Morgan drifted in and out of sleep, her dreams recreating the moment she had fused with Cass. When they had attempted to enter the body of the man, they instead experienced entering the mask, which they had merged with, seemingly permanently. It wasn't permanent in Morgan's case apparently, since she'd managed to wake up, but it apparently was in Cass's case. Walking back on the scene, Morgan could see Cass' body rotting on the ground, her expression frozen at the moment Morgan had snapped his fingers.

Morgan couldn't deal with the idea of being a murderer, so she just didn't. She convinced herself that her suspicions were just psychosis and went on with her life.

Each night though, she had dreams of the moment she and Cass had merged. When she woke up each morning, she felt less and less like herself. She'd also started to develop mental images that resembled past life memories, except she recalled them taking place at the same time as her own. The voice in her head also became active in her waking life as well, and she'd sometimes follow its suggestions for what she should say. Eventually, she lost the ability to distinguish the voice from her own thoughts, and they became functionally the same.

---

Becky walked quickly behind Connie, her face wearing a smile that did not extend to her eyes. Connie was headed to a meeting with the reformed ex-leader of the Cult of Wolf on how to re-integrate the former members of the cult into society. They planned to make a version of this discussion public on Connie's new podcast.

Becky, who previously wished Connie would respect other people's beliefs, now found that she absolutely did respect them, but seemed to treat them as means to an end, rather than an end in itself. This made Becky wonder if Connie even knew what a belief was.

Becky had decided it wasn't best to expect too much from Connie or anyone though. She'd recently taken up Buddhism, and was doing her best to eliminate suffering by extinguishing her expectations.

---

"What's wrong bitch? You not having fun?"

Sarah walked quickly away from the man and out of the bar. Still feeling tipsy, she aimlessly wandered into the bar across the street.

The bar she walked into had a dreamy atmosphere, with decorations more colorful than Sarah was used to. She walked dreamily to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Hello" said a voice next to her.

It was dark haired person with piercing green eyes.

"Oh hello. I'm Sarah. Sarah Fox."

"Pleasure to meet you. I'm Morgan. Morgan Cassidy."

---

Constance stopped spacing out.

She was still sitting in the bakery, her experience of being killed apparently just a daydream.

"Are you okay?" Asked Cookie.

"Sorry... I could have sworn..."

"Alternate timeline...?"

"Huh?"

"You were daydreaming right? If so, you just saw a timeline. That's what gods dream about when we do so."

"All our dreams really happen?"

"Yup. We are incapable of seeing lies. Only possibilities."

"I... I wasn't here."

"No?"

"Not all of me anyway. My Constance counterpart seems to have fused with me." Constance replied. "But Constance died. Does that mean her soul is in my body now? Is there such thing as souls that can outlast the body?"

"Yes, but that's not how you integrated. It's actually the soul of one of your worshippers, Cassandra I think her name was, which is powering your existence now."

"I thought it was Conrad."

"No it's Conrad's spirit."

"That's what I said."

"No it isn't. Spirits and souls are not the same thing."

"What's the difference?"

"A spirit is the sum total of a person's memories. A soul is a person's consciousness. Souls are blank. They have no memories without a corresponding spirit. Spirits aren't sentient. They have no consciousness without a corresponding soul."

"So our souls and spirits got shuffled around. Why?"

"Because Cassandra died."

"Huh. That's a shame." Constance replied without much emotion.

---

Morgan and Sarah walked into Sarah's apartment. Alcohol had loosened both their tongues and they were each talking about their anxieties.

"I got too into lucid dreaming and accidentally killed one of my dream characters. I feel like I'm psychotic because I can't stop thinking the character is real in a parallel universe. I also feel like I am her now." Morgan said.

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to find out?"

"Find out what?"

"If she was real?" Sarah asked.

"There's just no way to tell." Morgan replied. "It's not a question with a falsifiable answer."

"I was just thinking..." Sarah said.

"Yeah?"

"I joined this organization. But now I can't find it anymore. People are saying it's a cult, but I wasn't abused? I want to find out what happened. I was thinking... If you know how to lucid dream, we could have a group lucid dream? And maybe you could help me find the leader in the astral plane? I want to talk to her."

"I don't actually believe that's possible. I mean... Again... This stuff is not falsifiable, but if you had a dream about your cult leader, you probably wouldn't be talking to your actual cult leader."

"It's not a cult!"

"Kind of sounds like it is if it convinced you astral travel is possible."

"I guess I should say the dream plane..."

"The dream plane is just your own mind."

"Aren't you the guy who thinks he fused a girl from a parallel universe?"

"Touche."

Sarah laughed.

"I stand by what I said though. As far as I can tell, your dreams cannot be proven to be anything other than the product of your own mind."

"Well then maybe you could help me find out what really happened with that organization? I don't think the leader meant to start a cult. All I know for sure is it collapsed and I want to know why."

"Dreams can't tell you anything you don't already know deep down."

"I remember hearing rumors about what happened to the organization but I'm not sure which ones are true and I can't remember them very well. Perhaps a lucid dream could help me remember?"

"Perhaps, but as far as I can tell, group lucid dreams are impossible."

"Hypnotize me then."

"I'm not trained in that."

"Could you at least try?"

"Very well." Morgan replied. "But if it goes wrong, don't say I didn't warn you."

Morgan and Sarah sat on the bed.

"Breathe in for seven seconds. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Breathe out for seven seconds."

Morgan waited for her to do this a couple times and said "When I snap my fingers, you will open your eyes, and see yourself with the organization."

Morgan snapped his fingers and Sarah's eyes fluttered open.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"The park." Sarah murmured in monotone.

"And what's happening there?" Morgan asked.

"The leader is giving a speech."

"What are they saying?"

"Whoever wears this wolf mask shall become a god."

"Did they ever put the mask on?"

"No..."

"That's interesting."

Sarah came out of the trance.

"What makes you say that?" She asked.

"If they never put the mask on, it implies they weren't trying to look like a god."

"So it wasn't a cult?"

"Oh no it still could have been."

"Great..." Sarah replied sadly.

---

"So yeah the mask isn't actually supernatural. I told my followers putting it on would turn the wearer into a god but that was a lie."

"It most certainly was." Connie replied. "I put it on and nothing happened!"

Becky and the cult leader laughed nervously. When Connie had put on the mask, Becky had imagined all sorts of possibilities, and Connie becoming a god was one of them. It hadn't exactly been a pleasant possibility, since Connie hadn't seemed to know what the hell she was doing, so it was just as well it didn't happen.

---

"So I guess that's it then." Said Morgan.

"Huh?" Asked Sarah.

"You found out what was going on..." Morgan replied.

"No, I... I want to talk to the leader."

"I don't think that's a good idea. And in any case, what do you want to talk to them for? To ask them if the organization was a cult? You know they'll just deny it."

"I know... But... I want to confront them. Explain why what they did was wrong, because... I'm not sure they know."

"Alright."

Sarah looked at Morgan expectantly.

"Oh you mean through a trance? That's not how that works. You can't actually talk to people that way. Telepathy doesn't exist."

Sarah sat in silence lost in thought for a few moments.

"Okay..." Sarah started. "But, I think it might be helpful to simulate confronting them. Actually doing it is probably a bad idea anyway. If they're a cult leader then confronting them physically could be a threat to my safety."

"You say physically as if you could meet them mentally. I keep telling you that sort of thing is impossible."

"Right..." Sarah said. "But I think simulating a meeting with them would be helpful for getting closure. I think it would be helpful for my mental health."

"Very well." Morgan said.

Morgan hypnotized Sarah again and asked her to imagine the cult leader standing in front of her.

"Did you mean to start a cult?" Sarah asked.

"Cult is such an ugly word." The leader replied.

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I meant to do what I did. I knew that others wouldn't like it but I didn't see what was wrong with creating an organization the way I created it."

"And do you regret what you did?"

"I regret people not giving good reasons for their objections. If they had, I might have agreed that my setup for the organization was unwise."

Morgan snapped his fingers to bring Sarah out of the trance.

Standing before them was a young woman.

"Elfie...?" Sarah asked. "What are you doing here?"

"You asked a question to the leader at me, so I channeled the leader to answer." Elfie replied.

Sarah looked up at Morgan, confused and alarmed.

"Crap." Morgan said. "It looks like you wandered around during the trance and I wandered with you.'

"Why'd you do that?" Sarah asked.

"I must have gone into a trance too."

"Wait..." Sarah said, looking around. "Where are we?"

"The park." Elfie replied. "I thought you guys meant to come here."

"Uh... Sorry about that." Sarah said. "So... What you said... That's what the leader actually thinks?"

"As far as I can work out, yes, but I only have the data I have. The only way to confirm is to ask the leader yourself."

Sarah sighed.

Elfie walked away.

"I take it that was one of the other cult members." Said Morgan.

"Yes." Replied Sarah sadly. "Damn it... I was hoping to get closure."

"Sometimes you can't have closure I'm afraid."

"Right." Sarah replied. "Like how you can't tell if Cassandra was ever real."

"Yeah..." Morgan replied sadly.

Sarah now felt bad about reminding Morgan of his grief.

---

When Morgan went home, he felt stressed out and tried meditating to relax.

He visualized himself in a field. The field was divided into thirteen sections.

Morgan split himself into thirteen aspects and each one explored a section of the field. Walking through six of the sections led Morgan to magical worlds. Walking through another six led him to scientific worlds. The original copy of Morgan walked through the fifth section, which seemed ambiguous. Morgan couldn't tell if it was supposed to be scientific or magical.

Within the fifth section was a bakery. Morgan went in, sat down, and ordered some food. He sat down at a table and ate it. The food dissolved his insides but he felt no pain. He felt his sense of self gently dissolve.

Cassandra woke up and went about her day. She went to work handing out cards for Morgan's employer.

#the night city #wip #episode 2 #clown clock #epilogue to episode 1 #next episode will be Wonderland #which may conclude the trilogy

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tallygoat · 5 days

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This wasn't a real place

but I had been here before

Since I quit all the bad things in my life, the dreams have started to come back. Both a gift and a curse, to be honest. The dreams always start somewhere so close to home, but don't exist in the slightest. Just fragments of reality that my mind often seems to cling to. Last night I traveled to a city near a coast. I don't believe I quite like the ocean like that. It terrifies me. I don't choose where to go in my dreams, but I knew what I wanted to see. I "woke up" on a bench near the ocean. It had to be early hours and there was a soft mist and heavy fog. There was this place in my dreams where I had been before but it wasn't anywhere near this shrouded pass. The side walk neatly paved with cut grass around it. Frogs eerily croaking in the distance. Down this path, it wasn't pitch black. The moon lit the ocean but there were also lights along the path way every 300 steps or so. I just started walking, not sure for how long or where I was going, but I felt like walking. I enjoyed the peace and quiet but nature life seemed to become more active with seemingly each step forward.

So is this a dream or a night terror? I wanted to wake up so badly, and I know I'm asleep but, I couldn't. The anxieties just got louder and louder the further down this path I went. Sure, I could turn back the other way towards the city lights but, I wanted to keep going. I wanted to figure out why the anxieties had risen. I am longing for something. The lights along the path started to erode and fade away. So it got darker towards the heart of this dream. I am not afraid darkness, but the darkness tied with the rambunctiousness of nature, my presumably anxieties, was very unsettling. I kept walking regardless. Even the moon disappeared. I could feel that I was still on this path, the concrete was very distinguishable from the grass or sand, depending on which side of the path I was on. I couldn't tell if there was fog, but the light mist had dissipated. My eyes started to adjust to the darkness. I could see something in the distance but I wasn't sure if I was "hallucinating" or not. I looked back to the distance after a few moments and it was gone. I often look inwards whenever I question my sanity. How reliable is that? But I came to the conclusion that I was real. A goal perhaps? A stopping point? My heart hurts from pumping so hard in this terrifying environment. The anxiety is so strong it could freeze me. I decided I wanted to go to this building that I had spotted in the distance. The "hallucination". I'm halfway there and the ocean starts singing. Everything is intensified. I am scared. The deep breathes. The waves turbulent upon the beach. Why does something so terrifying care where I want to go? The oceans low hums and siren singing is not so tempting with the fear I have. But I keep walking. The building. I am here. It's a neat little building with big windows. It has a little patio area that faces the ocean and a little courtyard on the opposite side. At first I saw a blueish glow moving about. Someone is here? But you don't just announce yourself presence in such circumstance like this. So I waited until I could see the source. You, with the lamp. Secluded in this dark world. I remember every part of your face. Your brown eyes, always so much enough, could take away any thought of negativity I have had. You had skin blessed by the moon itself. I could not believe you were in front of me. I had counted my losses and let you go. You left without so much as a goodbye even though I knew you wanted to. And I'm still so happy to see you. I'm still overcome with this love that I had only felt few times before. I am not obsessed, but I would want to be. Infatuated with the love and kindness you hold in your soul. I've wondered how you have been. We talk but i can't hear the conversation. I just see your beautiful lips moving. Enough to ease all else in the world. Anxiety no longer exists. My heart hurts, not for it pounding so hard but for how full it is. And I always imagine the taste of your lips along with the hurt in your heart. Even though I've never tasted your lips, but have caused hurt in your heart. The audacity, right? And then I woke up.

#dream

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lunarcovehq · 9 months

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KADIR'S DISCOVERY - KADIR'S TASKS

Kadir couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was off about the break in verdicts. Below are the tasks Kadir received from the main which led Kadir to finding out the real culprits were Theo and Kyle. For our members- some of you may remember, but Alex & Penn were both winners of our fun OOC predictions survey we conducted during a previous event. As a prize for winning, both Alex & Penn chose for their characters, Nico & Kadir, to be involved in major plot drops and the below is Kadir's prize for winning. We hope you both enjoy your inclusion in the overall plot and we plan on continuing to have these event prediction surveys in the future where other members have the chance to win fun prizes such as this.

TASK #1 -

Kadir couldn't shake the sinking sensation that something about the case of the break ins were off. There was too much evidence placed, almost strategically, behind and, after talking to Nico, Kadir discovered that Billie didn't fit the eye witness testimony. While Nico had pegged the culprit as being between 5'8 to 5'11, a height that Billie fell into, the initial thief was far broader than Billie's physique would suggest. They also had a distinct smell. The culprit smelled of a mix of sweat, polyester and body spray. The body spray was cheap (think drugstore brand) and was so overpowering that Nico wasn't be able to distinguish who the culprit was from their sweat. The body spray wasn't gender specific, so it could have been something anyone could have bought and over-sprayed. Maybe even to conceal their own scent intentionally? Or maybe they just didn't like to bathe and enjoyed smelling like a teenager who was disguising their BO? Either way, Kadir learned that the body spray is sold at local convenience store in LC and is called Blue Lightning.

Kadir has now, after much convincing, managed to obtain the full list of individuals who have bought this body spray. The list includes over half of the students at LC High as well as some recognizable names including Dilan Selvi, Caleb Wright, Mason Mahir, Kotaro Matsui, Kyle Kane, Kitty Hensley, Mateo Rivera, Jonah Rivas, & Reese Hawthorne. Now it is your turn to get interrogating. Feel free to go around talking to all of the suspects IC and ask them where they were the nights of the break ins. But, be careful as to not draw too much suspicion to yourself. You wouldn't want to let the true culprit know you are on to them.

TASK #2-

After interrogating all of the townsgoers who purchased Blue Lightning, Kadir couldn't shake the feeling that something about Kyle's alibi wasn't lining up. He tried to ignore it, doing his best to enjoy himself throughout the festivities. But, on the last day of the Ren Faire, he couldn't hold the sensation that something wasn't right here any longer. While the rest of the town was at the performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Kadir went searching for proof that Kyle had been the true thief and vandal all along. Only as he was making his way across town to the Sunset Drive-In, where Kyle worked, he caught the sight of Theo sneaking around. While everyone else was distracted at the play, Theo was headed back towards the Poison Room. Kadir tore off after him, but Kadir was too slow, arriving to the Coven's Headquarters a second after Theo had already torn off in the opposite direction with the Supreme's grimoire in hand. Kadir chased after Theo, speeding after him through the Pendulum Playhouse just as everyone was being ushered back to their seats after intermission. Only, just as Kadir was about to reach Theo, he felt his vision begin to fade in and out. He was hit with a spell that made him grow light headed and pass out.

TASK #3-

Congratulations, Kadir! You have successful discovered who the true culprits of the break ins were, being Kyle and Theo. Unfortunately, you were unable to stop Theo before Theo stole the grimoire and passed it on to the Catalyst. But, you can make it up to Billie, Anna and Rangi who were unfairly punished for crimes they didn't commit. Now that we are on break from the event, we ask you to please post all of the tasks you've received from the Main so far starting with the first task you ever received and go in order of tasks up until this one. After the discord event is over, a Council meeting will be held with you in attendance where you can discuss what the Council's next move will be moving forwards and how to apologize to the fae that were wronged along the way.

#lunarcoveevent #lunarcoveevent7

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naomi-in-japan · 11 months

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5月30日 - Wagashi & Tea Ceremony

Today has been my favorite day thus far! If you know anything about me, you would know that I absolutely adore matcha (perhaps to a fault). Its distinct flavor is for only the most precise and distinguished of tongues. So finally, getting the opportunity to try fresh matcha from a tea master was a dream come true.

•••

Hamarikyu Gardens 🍡🌳

Before the tea ceremony, we had time to explore and take in the sights within Hamarikyu Gardens. Maybe it was the lack of people or the park's lush green nature—regardless, it was absolutely breathtaking to wander around. There was a kiosk in the park that sold dango, to my excitement. I have always wanted to try dango, and I felt blessed from above actually to have the opportunity to try it. It tasted as good as it looked! Its chewy texture and subtly sweet flavor were a delightful treat to eat while enjoying nature (also to take cute photos with).

Tea Ceremony 🍵🌸

The tea house (Hobaitei) was cutely tucked into the back corner of the park. I couldn't help but admire the elegant way the tea master conducted the ceremony. And the way she wore her kimono was so beautiful. I've had many kinds of matcha in my life. But drinking fresh matcha from Uji, Kyoto was indeed a different experience. The freshness of the slightly bitter tea paired with the sweetness of the red bean sweets was delightful. I was surprised at the tea's perfect temperature. It wasn't too cold or too hot. I have a very sensitive tongue to hot (temperature) food/drinks, so to my surprise, the warmness of the matcha was very soothing to my tastebuds. The method and etiquettes of performing the tea ceremony as both the host and recipient are unique in invoking a sense of gratitude, thanksgiving, and appreciation of beauty and simplicity. By the end, I truly felt relaxed and reflective of the world around me.

•••

As I write this blog post while sitting on a train back to the Ryokan during rush hour, I can't help but admire and recognize the quiet, peaceful parts of Tokyo amidst the hustle and bustle of the city. While it is still an urban area, unlike other major cities like New York, for example, there is a sense of serenity in the midst that I love. Moments like these make me realize that it's a lifelong journey to understand the depths of another culture truly.

——————-

📚 Academic Reflection 📚

The first text, "Chanoyu: Following Ceremony to a Tea," discusses the performative art of the ceremony. It first examines the history and beginnings of the art of tea ceremony from Eisai, the bringing over of green tea leaves from China, the influence of Zen Buddhism, and the original practitioners being men, particularly of high rankings. With later iterations throughout the eras, there was a shift of a predominance of women picking up the art as long as different schools of tea ceremony formed. Our experience at a tea ceremony was an excellent real-life application of the reading text by observing the customs and how far the tea ceremony has developed to the point where even we, as foreign university students, can come to enjoy the art in casual clothes without much stress on completely getting the etiquette a hundred percent correct.

The other text, "A Journey Through Chanoyu," explores the tools and kinds of bowls used in tea ceremonies. After experiencing a tea ceremony today, we could observe and admire the tools used in the process.

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slimylittlemaggot · 1 year

Text

Have another thingy I wrote for X! Just a short little bit. Hope you like it!

Anthony asked to come into my tent, and after I let him in he sat down cross cross apple sauce and surprisingly seemed at a loss for words. I stared at him intently. Eventually, I noticed that the silence got awkward (It tended to get difficult to distinguish silence when that's all you can remember.) But Anthony beat me to the punch before I could say anything.

"So, what's your name? I dont believe I caught it."

At that, I flinch noticeably. What is my name? It seems like something I should have noticed before, the fact that I couldn't even tell you my name anymore, but it hit me in that moment. I really don't know, do I? I tug self consciously at the tag at my ear. Wait, my tag. It says X Y on it, maybe it has something to do with my name? "You can call me X." I quite liked the sound of that. A name all to myself.

The conversation seems to stall as he gathers himself, and I take the opportunity to ask the question that has been eating away at me since he got here.

"So, can you actually see me or is this some cruel joke?" I asked hesitantly. I sat as far away from him as possible, and massaged my knuckles absentmindedly.

He had the odasity to look surprised at that. "Why wouldn't I be able to see you? Just because other people ignore you doesn't mean you're invisible." Oh. Oh, now I got it. He didn't realize I was, in fact, dead. He quickly continued before I could interrupt, "Listen, I want to help you out. I know of some fantastic girls shelters. I could get children services. You can't live on the street, and I would like to be the person to help you get off it." Wow. He really didn't have any idea.

I hesitated, almost reaching out to touch him just to reassure myself that I could actually feel his hand, when I spoke. "You do know I'm dead, right? As in, ghost? They don't ignore me, they just don't know I exist." I looked up at him, noticed him getting ready to interrupt, and promptly reached out to the nearest blanket and made my hand go straight through the fabric. His face noticeably paled.

He took several moments to unfreeze before he started to hyperventilate, quickly scrambling for any explanation he could come up with. "I thought you were some some homeless kid, how did you do that?" He threw his hands in the air, gesturing wildly before continuing, "you shouldn't be able to do that. I'm dreaming. Or hallucinating. Or I'm drunk. Either one of those, so I will go home and figure this out." He got up and tried to leave, but I grabbed his wrist to keep him.

God, it burned. Every touch, every bit of warmth felt like it scalded me. To actually feel, god, it was worth it just to know that is it was real, I was real, I wasn't just some illusion someone made up in their head. "Please, don't go. It's been so long since someone has last talked to me, heck, since I've last been seen." I pleaded, voice wobbling slightly. I swallowed down the need to cry, it wouldn't help. I'd done enough of that when people first settled down around me. I had screamed, cried, begged just to see if anyone would react. Of course, they didn't.

He sat back down. Anthony wrung his hands together. "You're lucky I don't have work today. It's pretty late. If it would make you feel better, you can come back to my apartment and we can figure this out tomorrow. You can talk to me about," he gestures vaguely in my direction, "this whole situation. Sound good, yeah?" I hesitate, what if the thing is supposed to happen tonight? But ultimately I nod. One night wouldn't hurt, right?

After leading me off to his apartment, he heads off to bed. Ultimately I don't need sleep, so I just set about exploring the apartment. Fairly small stereotypical New York apartment. He had a decent couch, though, so I settled on it as I watched the rain pour down outside. Maybe something I could do something other than wait.

Bonus!

Anthony's pov

I woke up in the middle of the night. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I looked at the clock by my bed. Great, 3am. Terrific. My brain felt fuzzy, the remnants of sleep threatened to drag me back down. My throat felt dry and itchy, and I looked over at my nightstand expecting to see a cup of water. For some reason, the water was not there.

With a groan, I dragged myself to my feet and stumbled out to the kitchen to get some water. I clumsily opened the cupboard and grabbed a cup, and then proceeded to fill it with tap water. I chugged it as quickly as I could, turned to go back to bed when something on the couch caught my eye. Was that a person?! I grabbed a knife and approached as quietly as I could, adrenaline suddenly coursing through my veins. The figure turned to look at me, and I stabbed them through the eye, oH SHIT THAT PHASED THROUGH THEIR FACE-

Oh. Right. Ghostly homeless child. My bad.

#original oc #character backstory #short story #original character

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hwauas · 3 years

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✨: "taste of heaven" pt.1

> collaboration with ma sweetheart @nateezfics 💕

> part 2 (here) on her blog!

kang yeosang (강여상)!

you were born in the wrong place in your opinion. you never chose to be a princess. you never chose to have a high statute. you never chose to have this much duties. but you had to go through this. you had to live with this. you have to deal with this everyday. and everyday seemed to be the same for you. waking up every day at the same exact time. having everyday the same breakfast. having the same toilette every morning. and working on tasks the parents gave you, thinking you were able to achieve them as a princess. you could get some tasks about a tiny area in the country with problems to solve, or you could get task about servants' and maids' timetable. your parents got you very ambivalent.

but little did they know, you were tired about this. the only free time you could have were afternoons here and there. the rest of the time, your statute got you busy with different tasks.

you wanted a significant change. you wanted to be free. you wanted to escape in aim to live. you wanted and needed a whole another life.

the garden aback the castle was your way out. a place a little bit wild, way less tidy. the greenery was free to crawl everywhere. around a pond, there were water lilies, and different type of flowers and plants. the pond seemed to be wild with all those plants. and around this pond, there were stone benchs and arches. creepers were crawling around the different items in the place: on the bench legs and all around the arches.

the thick foliage of the trees was reducing the sun light in the place. the whole atmosphere was softer, the dim light was creating an atmosphere o so relaxing and almost romantic. spending time there was your favourite activity. you could focus on yourself, things which were important to you, and you could dream and breath.

today, you managed to have some time for yourself. you needed to be somewhere you felt secured in, and somewhere you could relax. somewhere you could take off your crown for hours.

today again, the sun was shining through the foliage, making the place look magic. few rays of sun were illuminating the pond and were reflected on the foliage above. the water, where the sun shone, looked like myriad of diamonds. the birds were chirping around you. the plants seemed to be a little bit greener with the few rays of sun.

it was a perfect place, at a perfect moment.

what you didn't know, a man was approaching.

he was your opposite : independant, even though he had duties, and free, even though he had a statute.

he was breathtaking: sharped jawline, plump lips, little nose, thin eyes with brilliant pupils, eyebrows decorating perfectly his forehead, and bangs falling gracefully on his forehead, giving him a slight of mystery.

his body was perfectly sculped: large shoulder, thin waist, developped chest, sharped collarbones, long legs. you could have said his body was sculped by Greek gods themselves.

but he was the actual god.

herald of gods, he was also a protector: merchants, human heralds, orators, travellers, but also thieves.

pacing up and down the whole world to deliver message was his main activity. he was excelling at it.

his footsteps got you out of your thoughts. you were fully aware of your surroundings to localise the person approaching as soon as possible.

from the corner of your eyes, you could distinguish his figure approaching yours. few rays of sun lit up his body. few of them also lit up his brilliant pupils on you.

“it's the very first time i'm seeing such a beautiful person here.”

his voice was soft. it was like a lullaby to your eyes.

you turned your head over him. his brilliant pupils were looking deep inside yours. his gaze seemed to be more precious than anything else. and the thin smile on his lips was adding more preciousness to his face.

as soon as your brain totally assimilated his beauty, your heart almost immediately reacted: it was beating so fast. you never felt this way before. you never felt your heart react this much to someone unknown to you

“really? aww, i'm sorry. but since this little place is behind the castle i live in and this place is owned by my parents.. i guess you can see me here pretty often.”

you offered this man your prettiest smile.

“oh, so i'm walking in a private area? oh, i'm sorry, i don't have any permission..”

you giggled, making you look even cuter in front of him.

“i give you my permission.”

your eyes were glued in his. you couldn't look somewhere else. something was pulling you closer to him. and without you could even take the control over your brain, you were in front of him.

“i hope you're gonna use this permission wisely.~”

“may i offer you.. my company?”

you could blush at this precious look on your face. he was looking at you so tenderly. you could say he was as mesmerised by you as you were mesmerised by him.

“this is a good answer.”

because of a breeze, your dress brushed his legs, and mixed up with his own clothes. few strands of your hair slowly flew, coming in front of your face. and the man in front of you didn't waist time to push them away your face, behind your ears.

the man then put a hand on your waist, and invite you to sit back on the bench. he was so gentle with you, and led you to the bench like a real gentleman. his hand on your waist, his gaze on your face, a smile on his lips.

he sat besides you, yet was facing you. he was admiring you, like you admire a deity. his own heart was beating irregularly. and just as you, he never lived something like that before.

“who might you be?”

your voice was a little bit shaking because of shyness. you were looking down to the pond. yet this time, you were really blushing since you were feeling his sparkling gaze on you.

“i'm Yeosang. Kang Yeosang. i was supposed to pass by quickly for a mission but.. i don't wanna live now i know someone as stunning as you is here.”

“a-a mission?”

his compliment got you stuttering, and going redder — he was indeed succumbing to you. you were even playing with your fingers. your heart was still beating fast.

“yes. i am gods' herald. but this message can wait, and will wait.”

Yeosang slightly tilted his head to the side. gently, he grabbed your chin and made you look straight into his eyes.

“and you? who are you?”

his pupils never left yours. the tenderness in his eyes was warming you up, and he soon felt like home to you: you didn't have to be shy anymore around him — plus, he was in the same estate, right?

“princess y/n. Lee y/n.”

“does the princess believe in gods?”

Yeosang looked next to you, where you put down your crown. he took it, and gently put it back on the top of your head.

“now, she does. she has a god in front of her, how could she not believe in gods now?”

you were first looking at his eyes after he put the crown on your head, but your gaze eventually wandered over his face: his forehead, his nose, his cheekbones, his cheeks, and his plump lips. your gaze stayed there for a moment. and Yeosang noticed it.

“and does she want to kiss this god?”

“she's craving for it. but is this sensible?”

your eyes quickly went back to his pupils. the sun was shining over his face. his skin seemed to be smoother with the rays of sun.

“i've fallen for you, even though we just met. is this sensible?”

Yeosang softly grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger. he kept your face up, looking in your eyes. the birds weren't chirping anymore, and the whole place was quiet. it was as if the whole world stopped to look at you both.

“it's not. but i'm not trying to hold myself back. if my whole soul suddenly started to scream out your name, then i'm happy to say i'm not wise anymore. nothing is sensible now i've met you.”

“shut up and kiss me. it's a royal order.”

“what my princess wants, my princess gets.”

Yeosang softly leaned over your face. his lips gently touched yours. his lips moved against yours perfectly, as if both of your lips were meant to be against each other.

you slowly came closer to him, as if he was a magnet you were attracted to. your hand wandered over his thigh, and upper to his chest. your whole body was screaming his name out: the heart beating fastly, your skin getting hotter, the palms of your hands getting clammy.

but the kiss had to end. you — sadly — couldn't stay suspended to his lips for ever.

“if nothing of this is sensible, let's be unreasonable.”

your eyes were showing off distress, pleasure and love.

Yeosang was everything you wanted, needed, and had everything you were craving for — freedom. you wanted and needed to have him by your side. him, for what he was, and what he had, was what you had to have by your side.

“is this.. an another royal order, princess?”

his warm hands wrapped up your shoulders. but slowly, they were wandering down your arms to your hands.

“it is. do it.”

slowly, Yeosang started to kiss your forehead. his kisses went down, again and again — your temple, your cheek, your jawline, your neck, and your collarbone.

the next moments would be animated.

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margarethelstone-2 · 3 years

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Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears | Chapter 2

Read on AO3!

Taichi's gaze was filled with astonishment once more as he listened to Chihaya's nearly aggressive ramble, unable to wrap his head around the situation he'd found himself in so unexpectedly. He heard the words and thought that he understood the substance – he knew what Chihaya was referring to and comprehended the meaning behind her words. And yet... Something about this whole scene was just too bizarre, too unrealistic for him to believe that it was happening for real.

Too strange to have him take it for more than yet another of his feverish dreams.

Had she really gone to his house so spontaneously, after he had as much as ignored her for the past few weeks? Had she really risked meeting eye to eye with his mother, when it was obvious how uneasy the latter had always made her feel? And why had she decided to come see him now, so long after their fateful conversation in the clubroom and with so much happening since that dreadful afternoon?

Was it in any way connected – or worse, prompted – by the photo Arata had undoubtedly sent her as well?

And if so, what was the connection?

It wasn't like the message had contained any special words or wisdom, or even anything particularly nostalgic. It was a simple photo of Arata and his teammates, with a simple greeting meant to encourage them to do their best on their part so that they might meet at the Nationals this time. It was very much like the one he and Chihaya had sent him during their first year... but that was as far as the nostalgia went.

Of course, it was possible that Arata had sent Chihaya a different email, with more than just the few words he, Taichi, had received. After all, he knew for certain that Arata had spoken to her after the Master qualifiers and since that conversation had clearly taken its toll on Chihaya, it wasn't difficult to determine what he had said. He was also aware of the advantage Arata had always had over him and that Chihaya did favour him, even if she didn't fully realise it herself...

...and still, he couldn't help but think that it was not the case this time.

It was the similarity of it to the message they had sent him that made him so sure. It was not a taunt meant at him, or another display of affection addressed to Chihaya and only shared with him for propriety's sake. There was a much simpler, and much more genuine intention hidden behind it: an honest wish to inspire his friends in the same way they had inspired him before, mixed perhaps with the pride he must have felt for both himself and his new charges.

One friend reaching out to the other ones.

Friends.

Taichi's jaw tightened, his soul filling up with disgust and shame.

Had he really forgotten that that was what the three of them were, first and foremost? Friends?

Or was he just too tired pretending that he was all right with such a setup, because deep down, he realised that even as a trio, they had never been entirely equal?

Was he too much of an egoist to accept that?

"What the heck does that even mean?" he said out loud at last, letting out a hollow, mirthless chuckle that resembled a snort more than anything else. Chihaya had already managed to reach the front gate and was just about to step onto the pavement before it but now, she stopped mid-stride; if he had waited a few seconds more – or if she hadn't held back from running like she obviously had – his words wouldn't have reached her. He almost expected them not to anyway, despite her still being relatively close.

They did, however.

In for a penny, in for a pound. He had no choice but to go for it now.

"Why do you think I needed to hear that now?" he continued, careful to maintain the air of indifference or maybe even irritation, while Chihaya slowly turned around. "I didn't say I was a coward, just that I didn't want to be one. And of course I've changed since primary school; I'm not some Peter Pan who never grows up."

He could feel her stare at him, but refused to meet her gaze this time, all too aware of the effect it had always had on him. Feigning nonchalance, he adjusted the strap of his bag, hung over his shoulder and set off, descending the stairs one by one, as if he hadn't wished to get out of there just as much as Chihaya did.

The very sight of her was aggravating to him.

He knew it wasn't fair, that it really wasn't her fault that she could not respond to his feelings in kind. She had never led him on or pretended to care for him when she hadn't. She did care, she always had, and in a way, Taichi felt like an ungrateful scoundrel every time he remembered everything she'd done for him so far, never mind if it was a small smile meant to comfort him or a crazy, complex, completely over-the-top karuta tournament organised specifically in order to celebrate his birthday with him, in the most Chihaya-like way he could think of.

She wasn't the one to blame for all this.

And yet, every time he saw her, the memory of his stupid, impossible dreams came rushing back to him, always accompanied by the one of them being crushed to bits just a few short weeks prior.

It wasn't her fault, and still, he couldn't find it in him to forgive her.

Still, in the corner of his eye, Taichi saw the expectancy painted all over her face, the same perfect mixture of perseverance and dread he'd had a chance to observe more than once now. He went right past her, resolved not to grace her with a single glance, no matter how rude or cruel it might seem, and stepped onto the pavement she hadn't managed to reach in time.

He was indifferent.

He wished to be indifferent.

So why did he still listen closely, awaiting her to make the move, to turn and look after him, to catch up with him and shower – no, bombard – him with another set of half-baked wisdoms and untimely arguments? Why had he slowed down, anxious, restless, apprehensive, aching to hear her say another word, no matter how absurd it might be?

He had been so good at avoiding her lately, at numbing the overwhelming feeling of solitude by simply making sure she did not come into view – so why did he feel like he was missing her already?

Was a fleeting encounter like this all it took to make all of his endeavours worthless?

He was hopeless.

Hopeless.

Just like all of his love for her had been.

Oh, screw it.

"There's a playground nearby, if there's anything else you want to talk about," he offered, the pathetic, self-disrespectful moron that he was. "I doubt there would be any kids there at this hour, and there are actual benches to sit on. Or I can just walk you home if that's what you prefer."

He set off right after, no longer knowing if he wanted her to respond or not. A part of him hoped that she would, that there was more she wanted to say than that random, abstract proclamation she had surprised him with – that there was more thought behind it than she had made it appear at first. Simultaneously, his other half (a third? a quarter? a mere, pitiful percent?) screamed at him to pick up his pace and leave that cursed place before Chihaya could even answer, to run away and pray that the consequences of his stupid decision from the previous minute would not catch up to him.

Torn like this, he walked on, the rationality of his mind battling with the naiveté of his heart and the ardour of his soul. Step by step, he moved forward, hearing nothing but the sound of his blood pumping in his ears and his own sharp, uneven breathing. If he focused hard enough, he could distinguish his own, weary step, but even that seemed to come from a distance much wider than the one hundred and seventy centimetres separating his feet from his ears.

No matter how hard he tried, he could not hear anything from behind him.

So she hadn't followed him.

Of course she hadn't, you idiot, he berated himself silently, clenching his hands into fists and jamming them even deeper into his pockets. She looked like she wanted to get away from there as soon as she could, and only forced herself to stay and talk because she thought it was the right thing to do.

She didn’t come to chat, to pour her heart out or to clear things up with me, mostly because there's nothing to clear up in the first place; she came because she felt she needed to, because at some point, she'd decided that it was something a good person would do and obviously, she decided to spontaneously follow the wacky idea her mind had presented to her.

A totally spur-of-a-moment kind of decision, honest but rash, misguided and ill-conceived, just like about everything Chihaya does.

He felt his heart shrink, as if it was squeezed in quite a literal sense, and yet, he refused to admit to his hurt, even if only to himself. There was no reason why he should've felt surprised, no excuse for the disappointment that was threatening to take over him. He knew her; he knew what kind of person she was. Bright, outgoing, sincere. Blunt to a fault and so very, very caring that it made his head ache at times.

Still, her consideration was just like her entire self: impulsive. She always went all out and never put much reflection behind it.

As for Taichi, he still couldn't quite determine whether he found it frustrating or just very, very endearing.

Perhaps it was a mixture of the two.

The fact remained, however: the only way he could find his way to her thoughts was through incidents like this. After all, he could hardly imagine Chihaya spending her nights lying awake in her bed, unable to stop thinking of him.

Certainly not in the way he thought of her.

He fought the urge to kick the pebbles under his feet, regardless of the fact that there was no one around to see him if he had, much less to care about it. The street he strolled through was empty, and since it was getting late, there was no reason to believe that the state of things should change. However, Taichi knew better than to indulge himself with his whims, no matter how insignificant they appeared to be. He'd been raised to be that way; and no matter how much he wanted to change, no matter how grand was the amount of effort he put into achieving it, there were things about himself he simply couldn't reform.

He couldn't tell if it were those traits that had made him the unlucky loser he undoubtedly was now; but at least they helped him cope with the fallout his misfortunes had brought.

Which was exactly why he needed to stop wallowing in self-pity and focus on getting on with his own life instead, just like he'd been striving to do recently. He'd done a pretty good job so far, studying harder than ever both for his regular classes and the cram school, fooling everyone that it was his exams that had made him quit the karuta club.

Good gosh, he'd actually let Master Suo persuade him into not giving up on karuta after all, and only changed the environment of his practice instead.

He was fine, or at least, he was going to be.

The recollection of his latest, little successes made his faith grow a little, bringing back that tiny bit of optimism he'd been looking for so desperately. His chin rose a little while his pace turned brisker...

...only to have him halt in surprise at the sound of a dull thud and a hiss that came from behind him.

Taichi turned around almost involuntarily, completely taken aback and therefore totally incapable of forming even the vaguest expectation of what he was about to see. Had he had more time to think about it, he probably would have come with more than a few reasonable explanations of the sound.

For one, it could have been an ordinary jogger, whom he couldn't have seen when he'd exited through the cram school's gate, but who'd caught up to him silently while he was occupied with his own thoughts afterwards, and who now tripped over something and now was groaning in pain. It might have been a passer-by who'd emerged from around the corner, carrying an object so heavy that they had eventually dropped it on the ground.

For all he knew, it might have been a kid running from his friends in another round of tag. Out of all people, he surely was aware how fast little children could move; how quickly and unexpectedly they might invade other people's space.

All of these he could have thought of, and yet, he still wouldn't have guessed the real cause of the noise that had startled him so.

Of course, the culprit simply had to be the one person he'd been trying to ban from his mind.

How had she even got there without him realising her presence until now?

And yet, it was her, undoubtedly, undeniably her. Ayase Chihaya, the love of his life and the greatest, most unpredictable dork of a friend, now hunched and squatting, with one knee rested against the hard concrete surface while she eyed her other one attentively, instinctively pressing her scratched fingers against the more severely injured skin on her leg. With the few metres separating them (and his still fresh bemusement) Taichi needed a moment to fully absorb the scene before him, as well as its less obvious details. Despite the initial falter, his instincts soon took over him, however, and pushed him towards the wounded girl, before he could even see the grimace on her face or observe the way in which she chewed on her lower lip.

In no time was he kneeling down before her, pulling her hands away from the wound by her wrists so that she wouldn't accidentally infect the cut with one hand, while he rummaged through his hastily unzipped bag with the other one, searching for the towel and a water bottle he was sure he'd packed in there earlier.

"Taichi, no! Wait!" He heard her protest against his actions, only to ignore it completely. "It's just a scratch, nothing serious, I can handle it myself just fine here!"

"Like hell you can," he muttered in response after he'd finally found the objects he'd been looking for. "You've just pressed your dirty hands against a fresh wound, you idiot. I don't even want to know what you were planning to do next."

"No, but -"

"Just do me a favour and don't press them like that again now, will you?" he cut her off sternly. "I can't exactly hold your hands and dampen the towel at the same time, I'd need at least one other pair of arms for that. So stop arguing and keep your dusty fingers away for just a second, while I do my job over here."

Chihaya opened her mouth to argue with him some more but shut it right after under his severe glare and bowed her head obediently instead. Seeing that her opposition would not last – or at least, that her revolt would not rise again for a while – Taichi let go of her wrists and focused on wetting the fabric in his hands, before applying the now cold towel to Chihaya's injured knee. She winced under his touch, her head jerking up once more and her eyes glued to his intent countenance.

He saw her movement in the corner of his eye, felt the shudder that jolted all of her body, however, he refused to look up himself, instead making sure that his own gaze remained plastered to the cut he was supposed to be taking care of.

Not that clearing up the skin on her leg was doing any good to his sanity, mind you.

"How on earth did you even do that?" he muttered the question under his breath, if only to make his attention shift to something else, desperately hoping it would be enough to drown out his rebellious thoughts for a short while at least. "There's literally nothing you could have stumbled upon and you don't usually go tripping over your own feet; I know you can be careless sometimes, but you're not a klutz."

"I just wasn't paying attention," Chihaya answered him, her tone slightly offended, but still quieter than he might have expected. "My shoelaces had come undone and I stepped over one."

Taichi sighed, almost impatiently.

"And fell like this? What were you doing, trying to break the world speed record?"

"I tripped! Why does it matter how I fell afterwards?"

"Because I've seen you trip about a hundred thousand times since we first met and it was always due to some crazy stunts you were doing and never because you were simply distracted," he continued to parry her arguments; with every second it became more difficult for him to maintain his grumpy, cool attitude and not let his lips curl into an amused smile at both her behaviour and the memories he'd just recalled himself. "You were constantly running around, jumping over fences and climbing trees and half the time your shoelaces weren't tied, and yet you hardly ever let that get in your way. And now you want me to believe that you've hit the ground with your knee and cut it because you'd stumbled over it? When you were walking?"

"I don't know why you find that so improbable," she replied, shifting her eyes up at him for a second only to have them cast down a moment later. Unlike her most recent retort, this one was once again quiet, so much so that it was almost a whisper.

"I never thought Chihaya was capable of speaking quietly enough to be drowned out by a bell."

Was that it? Was that how she was now?

Was he responsible for that change in her?

He shook his head resolutely and lowered his own gaze onto her knee once more. He realised he was giving in to his nonsensical fears again, finding alterations where there were none, simply because he'd felt the change so acutely. Sure, Chihaya's voice was much softer than what he was used to; but to think that it was a general transformation was a little too much. It wasn't like she couldn't speak loudly or even downright shout at him – she had proven that much with the entire 'you're not a coward' scene, and even with the little comebacks she had thrown at him a short while earlier.

She wasn't mad at him, she hadn't taken offence. She wasn't avoiding him like he had avoided her, nor was she trying to daunt him with her curt, frosty answers; if anything, she'd given him the impression that she wished to talk to him but had no idea how to do it without overstepping his boundaries.

As if she had been afraid of him.

Was she?

Taichi risked another glance at her and saw that she still wasn't looking at him or even at the wound he'd been treating for her. Instead, her gaze was turned to her right, focused on some distant spot he couldn't name unless he followed her gaze with his own eyes. Afraid she might catch him staring, he looked down again quickly, however; he could figure out what had arrested her attention later on.

He had enough to think about as it was, without adding any additional information to the mix.

"There, it's all clean," he announced after a moment, taking the wet towel in his hand away; he pressed it back to her knee almost immediately when he saw that the seemingly unserious injury hadn't stopped bleeding. "It looks like it's a pretty deep cut you've got there. Nothing that would need stitches, but you certainly should have it wrapped up, and not only because of the possible infections. That is, unless you actually want to walk around Tokyo with bloody streaks all over your calves. I don't have anything of the sort so-"

"I do!" she cut him off, energetic again. Taichi raised an eyebrow at her sudden cry and she turned away, blushing. However, she continued, "I do. Just hand me my bag, please?"

He did as he was told, and passed on the bag that had somehow ended lying behind him. Chihaya grabbed the item zealously and began to search its insides, flipping the books and other tools she kept in it with as much hurry as if her life really had depended on it. Taichi regarded her curiously, suddenly indifferent to whether she decided to meet his eye this time.

It took her a good while before she found what she'd been looking for; it was a perfect opportunity for him to have a closer look at her at last.

No matter how silly his behaviour was, Taichi made good use of that time.

She was a mess; there was no doubt about that. No longer panting like she had when he'd seen her first (something Chihaya had been trying very hard to conceal and perhaps even thought that she'd succeeded, only Taichi obviously knew better), she still seemed to be anything but relaxed. Her hair looked as if she had combed them with her hands (which she'd done often enough in the past to make his guess more than likely) and her cheeks were grey from the dust, though again, it looked like she had attempted to clean it in some amateurish way.

He wondered if the slightly darker traces he saw on her cheeks really might have been the remnant of her tears, like he feared they were.

Gosh, she really cried too damn much, never mind how serious the reasons were.

He was roused from his meditation when Chihaya finally pulled out the small first aid kit which she'd been looking so frantically for and straightened up a little, relieved. She sure was glad with herself, a softer, more placid expression finally reflecting on her face as she opened it and drew the bandage and gauze packs she needed from it, and even waved them before his eyes as if to tell him that she could take care of herself now.

That darn moron.

"I can deal with it now," she said, confirming his suspicions. "If you just take the towel away from my knee I can wrap it up just fine. But you really have to move away."

"And how do you plan to do that with your leg bent like this?" he asked, simultaneously ignoring her suggestion completely. "You're still kneeling."

"I can straighten my leg anytime, so-"

"And lay it flat on the ground? Good luck moving your hand underneath when you try to go around it. Also, are you really carrying a first aid kit in your school bag?"

It was the first time Chihaya met his eye since her unfortunate fall and boy, was she vexed. "My mum made me carry one around after I stepped onto a nail and had to block the blood flow with my classmate's spare t-shirt in middle-school. She wasn't very happy with that."

"Your mum or the classmate?"

"Neither. But at least I learnt to carry these things around, and since I know how to use them, I'm going to wrap my own injury now. I just need to stand up and-"

Without a word of warning, she leaned on one arm and pushed herself off the ground, leaving the startled Taichi to stare at her helplessly. She hissed at the pain when she put more pressure on her wounded leg but said nothing, determined to carry out the plan she had formed in her head without letting her friend interrupt.

Only, his hand was still pressed against her knee... and he wasn’t going to do anything to change that.

"You're impossible," he told her instead, the faintest shadow of mirth flashing in his eyes.

"Move your hands, Taichi, I'm bandaging my knee," she ordered him, feigning deafness.

"You'd need to dry your skin first."

"I know that!"

"Not what I heard."

"I am, but I still need you to move away. Why aren't you moving away?"

"Who knows." Taichi shrugged, raising his eyes so he could meet Chihaya's weary glare. "Maybe I'm just being awful for the fun of it. Or maybe as usual, I'm the sensible one here and realise that you're gonna need help with that stupid cut. And since the only way to make you give up is by this kind of opposition, it's exactly what I'm doing now."

Chihaya's fingers tightened around the packages. "But why?"

"Who knows," he said once again. "Perhaps I'm just too used to looking after you to simply walk away and leave you to deal with it on your own. After all, I know you well enough to realise how incompetent you are."

That little jab at the end of his reply was meant to lighten the mood, to avoid a situation in which his earlier words would sound like yet another confession on his part. He wanted to make sure it didn't sound tender – that the 'looking after you' part was a statement coming from a long time buddy rather than from the love interest he so wished to be, from an easygoing, disinterested comrade and not a suitor she was so afraid of.

He wanted to turn it into a joke, and yet, it only took a second for him to realise that his tactics hadn't worked.

She didn't answer him; didn't snap or turn away, didn't huff, offended by his remark – but she didn't laugh, either. He saw her knuckles turn white as her grasp tightened even more and opened his mouth to apologise...

...but then she straightened her arms, shoving the bandages right before his eyes, while she looked away from him, again.

She nearly hit him on the nose and yet, he was too stunned to care.

"You do it then," he heard her mutter under her breath as she moved the package even closer to him. "Just... be quick about it. It doesn't need to be that precise, I only need it to last until I'm home."

He wanted to contradict her, to say that the main reason why he'd insisted on helping her out was to make sure that the dressing around her wound would not be a shoddy one; but something stopped him. Whether it was the way in which she was so determined not to meet his eye again or how her hands trembled when he finally took the cursed bandages from her, he couldn't tell; but he couldn't be more sure if Chihaya had told him that directly.

His jokes hadn't been too terrible a strategy overall – one more challenge, however, and he could lose it all.

So he remained silent, attentively drying her skin with fresh gauze before pressing another piece against the injury and wrapping it up with utmost care. It didn't matter that it was her bare skin anymore, or that the rim of her skirt was moving gently right above his bowed forehead. He was a friend, a companion. He was willing to call himself a nurse, for goodness' sake – as long as what he did was of any benefit to her.

Now wasn't he a failure.

Bet someone else, someone like Sudo, would never let anything like that happen, he thought to himself. He probably would have left her at that gate and walked away without a word, unless it was to roast her with one of his terrible lines. Actually, I'm sure nobody I know would've acted as stupidly as I have, whether it would be Nishida or Komano, or – Arata...

"All done," he announced a little too hastily, deliberately breaking his own train of thought before it could take him too far, and stood up. "I hope it's not too tight, but if it is, just tell me and I'll fix it. We don't want your leg to go all stiff and blue while you walk back home, right?"

"No, it's good. It's perfect," she answered, shaking her head. "Thank you."

Her head and gaze were still lowered when she spoke to him, so Taichi couldn't quite tell what her expression was and so he couldn’t use that knowledge to guess how she actually felt. At first, he was sure she would turn away as soon as he was done treating her wound, and just set off towards home without further delay, or that she would at least step back, no longer needing to stay in his close proximity like she had before.

They really were standing quite close now, so close that one step forward would make her forehead rest against his collarbone, literally.

And yet, she still didn’t allow him to see her face. He waited patiently for another moment, even though his heart was threatening to jump out of his chest any moment now. He stuck around, motionless and quiet, giving her every chance to flee like he expected her to, awaiting the moment when she would leave his personal space.

He couldn't imagine her wanting to be there, not after how he had treated her today – how he'd been treating her ever since the day she had rejected him.

And yet, she was still there.

"Chihaya," he whispered eventually. "Do you want to talk?"

It was a simple question, an obvious question. It was a ridiculous one, too – after all, they'd been exchanging statements back and forth, so technically, it was way past time for asking it. However, he certainly knew that it was not a simple chat he'd had in mind; and maybe it was naive of him, but he still believed that Chihaya understood it, too.

She didn't answer him immediately, and not even after some time had passed. It wasn't because she hadn't heard him, of that he was sure... but that didn't mean that he had more than the vaguest idea of why she tarried, either.

Was his question not so simple after all?

He didn't dare to lean forward, on the off chance that she would decide to look up at him after all, in which case their closeness really might become too much for him. His eyes remained fixed on her, however, boring into her hair as if to jinx her into replying at last. She didn't move; she didn't look up.

And for the longest time, she didn't make a sound.

Until...

"Yes. Yes, I do."

#Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears #chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #more reposting #more new arrrrt #margaretwrites

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lokitrashfan · 3 years

Text

AN: Heey! I finally had some time to write. I hope you like it a lot!! because it's almost the end!!!

Tag list: (Tag list is open, if you want to be tagged or untagged in this fic just sent me an ask!!) @twhiddlestonsstuff @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @fckwkndd @delightfulheartdream

Warnings: Mentions of memory loss and allegories for suicide

Winter was not sure of what had happened. Loki had kissed her for hours. They talked and melted in each other's arms. But now she woke up alone, in her own bed. She did not know how she ended up there. She was sure the night before she had been falling asleep between Loki's arms. But now, with the feel of the cold sheets around her, with the silence, she came to realise it all had been a dream. It was the only explanation. She had dreamed the kisses with such intensity that now she felt empty.

Even if she could close her eyes and feel Loki touch her and kiss her… it had been an amazing dream, but somehow, it now hurt more than the nightmares.

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Loki lay in his bed thinking about what he had done. He had kissed her. He had held her. He spent all night with her. Until she fell asleep in his arms and he carried her to her bed. He had burned. And he wanted more.

When Loki had put Winter on her bed, he fantasied with staying with her. But he did not want to tease his control. He couldn't help it. He wanted to have Winter between his arms forever. That's why he left her alone, so when she woke up she could decide if she wanted him, or if it had been only some kisses.

The mere thought of Winter rejecting him broke his heart. He did not know how to handle all those feelings filling his chest. He had fallen for her, hard. He was in love with Winter. He could not deny it anymore.

How did it happen so fast remained a mystery. Loki had never felt this way, he could not find the exact moment he realised that she had taken over his heart. They hadn't known each other for long, but something had awoken inside him. Maybe he had a heart after all.

----------------------------------

Winter went to the kitchen to grab some coffee. Her mind was a turmoil of thoughts and memories, the problem was that she could not distinguish what was real and what was dreams. She didn’t even pay attention to the God talking to her, she was too caught up in her own mind.

Loki finally decided to pat her shoulder to catch her attention, making her pry her eyes from the floor and look up to him. “Are you well?” he asked again with concern in his voice.

“Yeah” Said her softly, her mind still far away “I’m just a bit confused”

Winter knew she could explain it better, Loki was her friend after all. But she could not bring herself to ask him if it was true, if they had really kissed. If she made the question and his answer was negative she would die in the spot. Maybe it was better to let it go. It had been a marvelous dream that she wanted so desperately to be true.

“I was going to the library to read a little and distract myself, I had weird dreams and…” She stopped speaking, not knowing what to say without looking stupid.

“And…?” pushed Loki. He was desperately searching for a sign that she wanted him, that last night was the start of something new between them.

“It’s nothing, it’s just that sometimes I don’t know what is real and what’s not.” Winter wanted to go away, she felt her body heat in the presence of Loki, her mind was replaying the dream again and again, she could almost feel his mouth against hers.

“Valerie, you just have to ask. I know it can be confusing, but just ask me. After all, I have seen your memories, and I can help you.” Loki touched her cheek softly with his fingers as he spoke. She was warmer than he could have ever imagined. He wanted to kiss her again and to melt under her touch.

“Loki I… I don’t know, it’s too complicated. My mind lies to me and it hurts. It shows me things that I wish were real, but I know it can’t be, I know it’s not real.”

“Let me help you, let me read your mind and tell you if it’s real. If you don’t want to ask it just let me see it.” They were so close to each other, almost no space between them. Loki could see in her eyes how troubled and tired she was. Her mind was her own prison, and he would give up his life to help her.

“No… I can’t, I don’t want to.” She was getting defensive, stepping back to breathe some air without Loki's scent cloud her mind. “I just want to read, I don’t need your help.”

She left Loki standing there. She felt bad for how she had spoken to him, but she had to get away, she needed fresh air, and before she knew she was outside the compound, half running to the trees. She wanted to get lost.

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Loki found her hours later, half asleep under a tree. As he went to pick her up, she woke up, looking at him with wide eyes. Her face was red and blotchy, it was clear as the sky that she had been crying.

“Valerie..�� He sat beside her and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “We have been looking for you, it’s getting late, and it’s getting colder”

“I just needed to be alone, I needed to think”. Winter could feel the cold in her bones, her hands were freezing. “I don’t want to do this anymore Loki. I’m too tired.”

“What do you mean?”

“My mind plays with me, my own head works against me. I try to be better, but all these memories, all I have done… I just can’t do it anymore. I don’t want to know anything else. I want to forget everything.”

“Everything?” Loki asked. He could not believe that she wanted to forget everything, her family, her friends, him…

“I don’t know what's real anymore. I don’t even know if you are her or if it’s just a dream. I don’t want to know anymore. I just want to forget everything, I want to start a new life, away from everything. You can do it right? Will you make me forget?”

“No, I won’t do it, I won’t let you forget. I won’t let you forget who you are. I can’t do it, you can’t ask me to do it!” Loki was desperate, he wanted to help her, but how could he make her forget everything. He could not make her forget him. He didn’t want to. He taught for a moment about it and his heart broke. If she forgot him he would die. He had found something in her that he was not willing to lose. “Valerie, please, let me help you, but don’t make this, please, I beg you, you can’t forget me.”

“STOP! Don’t call me that name again! Loki you have to understand, I can’t live like this, I can’t! I don’t know who I am. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t even know if you are real, I don’t know…”

Loki stopped her, he grabbed her face and kissed her again. He was desperate. He needed her to know that he was real, that he loved her. That he needed her. He was furious, and all the rage went into the kiss. One of his hands travelled to her waist and the other to the back of her neck. Grabbing her hair he pulled her closer to deepen the kiss.

“Is this real enough for you?” He said the moment he broke the kiss to allow her to breathe, only to kiss her again.

“Loki…” She said when they finally broke apart.

“No Valerie, tell me. This is real. This is real. You and me, we are real. Even if your past was horrible, this is real. I won’t let you forget this. I can’t. Winter or Valerie, it’s the same. You have to understand. I can help you. But you can forget. Your past is painful, but it makes you who you are. And I know who you are. You are good, and funny, and innocent. You are my friend. And I love you. I love you so much it hurts.”

Loki was desperate to change her mind.

“Loki, I don’t know if I can be who you think I am”

“It’s not what I think you are. I know who you are. And if you let me, I will help you understand. But if you forget everything, it will change everything. I can’t lose you Valerie, not now when I have found you. I have lived alone for centuries, I have known all kinds of people, but you are the only one that matters. Please Valerie, let me help you.”

“Loki I didn’t know if yesterday we kissed or if it was all part of my dreams. Loki I want you too, but it’s complicated. My mind is complicated.”

“Just try it, I will be by your side, I will help you. You can ask me. Just ask me and you will know. And you can sleep without dreams if you want. I will do everything you want. But please don’t forget.”

“Okay,” Winter said finally. It was hard, but having Loki say all those things… There was no way to say no. She rose on her toes and kissed him. This time was sweet, her tears salting her lips. Loki held her close, lovingly, and she could feel that this was real, because her mind could not make something so vivid and beautiful.

#loki marvel #loki #loki imagine #loki laufeyson #jotun loki #loki fanfic #loki x reader #tom hiddleston #loki x y #loki x y/n

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adragonhoardingstories · 4 years

Text

Of Blood and Bonds - Chapter 5

"Father you know I respect you." Damian said and everyone at the dining table stilled as they were about to get up and leave. "But I must admit, as my brothers would say, you've majorly fucked up."

Bruce sighed. He had thought about that - had Alfred scold him for having benched Damian - for doing as Damian had said and taking out his anger about his own failures on his other children. But that didn't make this any easier.

"Damian I know you're mad I didn't tell you about your sister-"

"Oh this is not about that. Well not entirely. They are connected but this is not about Marinette alone." When no one spoke, he took it as his cue to continue.

"You saw in her files that there were some vague details about her being possessed by an akuma. Did you figure out what they are? Because I have an its not pretty. Actually, it's bad enough to warrant an intervention of the Justice League as a whole but my sister tells me that they were told not to waste the JL's time."

His youngest's face was worryingly blank. It reminded him of all the times he was set upon something and right now it seemed that his new focus was his older sister. Bruce supposed, he should be thankful that Damian's attention towards her was not of the murderous kind.

"What do you mean?" He made sure to keep his voice free from emotions.

"From what she told me, they asked for help several times until someone from the JL dismissed their problems as a prank, a joke without any investigation or anything about their claims."

Someone was going to be hearing from Batman soon.

"And what about the akumas?"

"It's enough to need more than one member of the JL. I've see a video of one of the attacks, it's...horrifying and according to Marinette it was one of the tamer ones."

"Do you have them?" His sons all looked annoyed and he knew they were probably thinking that he was letting superhero work take precedence over his family again. But that was how he worked. He didn't know what to do about the situation with Marinette but this - this could find a solution to.

"There are videos of them online."

Damian seemed to take that as his cue to get up and walk away.

"I'll play the videos in the cave."

Marinette hadn't necessarily had the best time in the last years but one thing he had definitely learned was who were her real friends and who weren't.

It was before the worst month of her life but things had already started taking a turn for the worse for her at that point.

Her so called friends all started to believe Lila over her, started to - as she now knew - emotionally blackmail her, only gave her the time of the day whenever she did something for them or to scold her for whatever she apparently did for poor Lila.

She was oh so tired and every second she wasted made her feel more guilty.

Hawkmoth had come back more enraged than ever after the Miracle Queen incident and she had done the mistake of lending the more Miraculous out.

She had given Kagami and Luka both different Miraculous for them to fight alongside her because they both have strong spirits and a good resonance with several kwamis but... let's just say that she would never forgive herself for what they had to experience because of her.

In desperation, she tried to find other holders that she hadn't used before who resonated but that...that had been a huge mistake. She almost lost more than one Miraculous that day.

She was their Guardian. And that day she vowed that she would die first before letting something happen to the Kwamis.

She was fighting alone now. Chat Noir...Chat Noir was even more pushy about revealing themselves after the the chaos that had occured. He hindered more than he helped, never showing up on time.

Things had come to head one day as she walked into class. The whole incident had involved a bunch of sheep and a ripped sketchbook - hers to be precise.

It proved to actually be a relief to let go if them. She had never realized how much their 'friendship' had been dragging her down.

I got permission to use this fic as a reference for her backstory so check it out. Thanks for that btw.

That experience proved to be helpful later when she felt like there was no one she could trust.

Apprenticeship with Master Fu had since long taught her that it was better to feel than to see. She had learnt to recognise auras rather than faces and in the end that might have been her saving grace - or well at least the start of her path back to sanity.

She had learnt to see and remember the auras of her friends rather than anything else because afterall the soul didn't lie.

After everything, well her reliance on auras had only increased.

Meeting her brothers had been amazing and even more so now that it seemed that they wanted to have a relationship with her.

But one things that bothered her were their auras.

It wasn't that they were bad - it was that they were scarred, hardened and she could basically see that they had suffered in the past.

The worst of them were probably Jason and Damian. Their auras made it very clear that they had been dipped in the Lazarus pits.

Jason...Jason's soul had been corrupted at such a point that she doubted that the pits had been used for anything less than bringing him back from the dead.

And Damian - Damian's soul seemed to have some of the pits as a foundation. She gathered that he had been dunked into the pools more than once when he was a child. There was something else in his aura too that showed that he had died not long ago too.

There was also another aura that seemed to have to have linked with both of them which made her sure of their last fates and Marinette shuddered to think what had happened to them.

She had to remind herself that the past was in the past and while she couldn't change that, she could at least help them have a better future.

So, one could say, that she was nervous for this upcoming dinner.

The dinner didn't go as expected - at all.

Firstly, they were late. All of her brothers and sister were late, very very late. Marinette was not impressed, especially give that Damian wasn't answering his phone.

But this was Gotham, the few kwamis she had brought with her reasoned, there was probably a problem and wasn't it better that were safe inside than stuck outside and hurt?

Just as she was about to say screw it and transform using the fox Miraculous to see if she could help the bats, she felt the magic around the house shift.

Marinette focused in the disturbance and closed her eyes reaching out for their auras. She soon snapped her eyes open and let a smile come on her face - she knew those auras. But why were they entering from the window?

Marinette shrugged it off and signalled the kwamis to hide while she went to greet them.

She was not ready for the sight that she came upon. Her siblings were all in a state of disarray and it looked like they were trying to be silent.

They were of course failing miserably given what seemed to be a bullet wound in Jason and a stab would in Dick and the rest of them all seemed to have been beat up to at least some degree.

"What the fuck?" Marinette felt like the situation called for her language to be excused.

They all froze in place before slowly turning to look at her.

"Uh hey." Dick or should she say Nightwing because apparently she wasn't stressed enough gave her a short wave.

She cursed and buried her face in her hands. "Of course I can't have normal siblings."

"Siblings?" Black Bat seemed suprised. She couldn't recognize her aura, Marinette decided that she must have been Cassandra.

"You must be confused ma'am." Red Robin jumped in and Marinette rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid Timothy." And then just to prove her point she point at each one of them in turn. "Jason, Dick, Damian and who I'm guessing is Cassandra."

"What makes you say that?" Tim seemed to be ever the player of words.

She sighed, knowing they wouldn't budge until she proved that she truely believed her words.

"Well, why else would you be here?"

"Uh because it was the nearest place we found to nurse our wounds and last time we checked this place was abandoned?"

"Let's say that's true. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to go a place where you could actually have access to supplies to treat your wounds? Not to mention the fact that that-" she pointed at the hole in Jason's shoulder. "-is a bullet wound and I heard no gunshot. And lastly, what a coincidence it is that Black Bat who is known to work in Hong Kong comes back to Gotham at the same time as my sister Cassandra who from what I've heard also is currently living in Hong Kong too."

No one replied.

"So do you want to continue arguing or are you idiots going to let me help you before you bleed all over my floor."

Unsurprisingly it was Damian who moved the first - it made sense, he was the one who had spent most time with her and at least had a modicum of trust in her.

He removed his mask and met her eyes. "Do you have a first-aid kit?"

She nodded. "Get in the bathroom and get those two in the tub." She nodded towards Dick and Jason. I'll bring it to you."

Marinette hurried to her bed room to find her probably over-packed first aid kit. She had brought it for herself so that in case of a bad akuma attack she could take care of her wounds - after all her cure took care of everyone else before her, she had enough scars to prove that not that she could distinguish them from those the cat had given her.

She was glad to see that they had followed her instructions. Jason and Dick were seated in her honestly huge tub and they along with the rest had made themselves comfortable, having discarded their armor.

She placed the first-aid kit down and kneeled next to Dick. She felt that the stove would in the stomach took more precedence.

Jason reached out for the kit but Marinette batted his hand away.

"You're injured, sit down quietly." She snapped and to everyone's surprise, he did as he was told.

Marinette started treating their wounds, thanking the kwamis that she had done a medical course as soon as she had realised that her wounds could not heal from the cure.

She had finally taken care of the more dangerous wounds and Marinette had enough of them squirming so she broke the silence "So, why in the world did you come here instead of going to your hyper-tech batcave with most certainly more medical facilities than my humble abode?"

She had to supress a smile as the boys looked among themselves. Finally it was Cassandra that replied.

"Did not want to miss dinner. You."

"Well you were already two hours late, you could just have sent me a text that you'd be a little more late."

"Didn't want to take chance."

Marinette smiled up at her. "Well I'm done, come on, I'll get you some clothes to change into."

"I don't think you'll have anything that will fit us."

"I'm a designer." She called over her shoulder. "I always have spares. Anyways, Cassandra-"

"Cass."

"Right, well Cass come with me, we're about the same size, you can take something of mine."

She led Cass to her bedroom and guided her to her wardrobe while she picked something for the boys.

She totally hadn't hoped to see her siblings during this trip and had this made something for them. Nope. Absolutely not.

She handed each of them their clothes. "Choose a room if you want, I have more than enough of them, then come down, I'm re-heating the food."

She smiled at Damian as he came down the stairs. "I tried my hand at some Arabic food. I hope you like it."

The boy looked awed. He walked to her and gave her a hug. "You're my new favourite sibling." Marinette laughed and pressed a kiss in his hair. "I love you too little brother."

She heard the disbelieving whisper of Demon Spawn? And looked up to see the rest.

She squeezed Damian's shoulder one last time before she pulled away, guiding him to sit down.

"Well dig in. You must be famished after your fight."

They did exactly that and soon were making their appreciation known.

"It's the first time I've attempted Arabic food, I don't know if I got the spices right.*

"It's delicious Pixie Pop. Don't worry.*

"Todd's right Mari. I haven't eaten anything this good since I came to Gotham."

"Really? Alfred didn't immediately dote on you and cook you all the food you wanted. "

He looked uncomfortable. "I was a difficult child back then."

"Was?" Jason snorted while Dick elbowed him.

Casssandra intervened. "You good at cleaning wounds. Hands stable."

"Yes well unfortunately it's not the first time I've had to do this."

"How come?"

"Did Damian tell you about the akuma attacks?" They nodded. "Well, Paris had since adapted to handle the akuma attacks. A lot of people have taken medical courses for extensive first aid to be able to help the unfortunate victims of an akuma."

"I thought that your superhero reversed all the damage."

"Well yeah. But Ladybug was insistent to make it clear that they couldn't bank everything on her. If she's taken down, everything's lost."

"This has been going for how many years. How do you still trust that hero?"

"And for how many years have the Joker been spreading his terror?" She asked drily and saw several of them recoil - Jason and Tim especially.

"Ladybug is doing all that she can only get so far with Chat Noir around."

"Chat Noir? I thought that he was her partner?"

"He's supposed to be but we'll these days he causes more trouble than he stops. People hope he doesn't show up because the battles are always over quicker when he's not there." She could see that they wanted to ask more but number one she didn't want to talk about Chat Noir and number two she felt like if she continued talking, she would slip up and say something she shouldn't know and the risk of them catching it was greater since they were themselves heroes.

"And anyways, Hawkmoth only comes out in a blue moon and that's only when he has a lot of faith in his plans."

"So there are a lot of these akuma attacks?"

"I guess it's kind of become a daily event by this point. People plan stuff taking it into consideration and if we're unlucky, there will be more than one in a day."

"So what type of akumas are there?"

"It depends really over what you've been akumatized. We've had a Pharaon, a Mime, Mr Pigeon and Mr Rat as well as Syren in the first year."

"Those seem like... interesting characters." Jason said.

"Wait until you hear this." Marinette snorted. "We had a Batman knock-off once, Owlman - he had his own electronic butler and everything."

The bats shared a look before they all bursted out laughing at once.

How could they not, imagining Bruce's face upon learning of this?

"You need to tell us this story."

Marinette was more than eager to comply.

It's too long so I'm gonna reblog the rest

#MLB X DC #torture #mentions of rape #lila salt #adrien salt #maribat #platonic daminette

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mikkomacko · 4 years

Text

The Fighter 5

Harry tried with all his heart to get me to sleep. He requested warm milk, he hummed a random song, he buried his fingers in the roots of my hair and stroked through the strands in hopes that it would do anything to help. But I was still restless, falling asleep long enough to dream of Theo dying in some gruesome fight with Trina, before flinching awake to be met with Harry's worried, tired eyes.

"You don't have to worry," Harry murmured, dragging the pads of his fingers down my cheek and over my jawline. "you know I'll do everything to get you what you need." His lips touched between my eyebrows, soft as a feather. "You'll be safe."

I didn't tell him that I wasn't worried about myself or that I was dreaming of Theo. I didn't tell him that every time his fingers touched me I felt sick, constantly thinking that this is the first and only night I'd get him like this. I closed my eyes again, relaxing into the same cycle that took place until the sun broke the horizon.

Breakfast was quieter than usual. Arlia didn't attend, and I didn't ask where she was. I'd rather spend my last real breakfast with just Harry and Theo. Theo didn't eat much, not that I blamed him. My stomach felt like it was full of piles of rocks, so heavy that the platforms wouldn't even be able to lift me into arena. It was wishful thinking of course. Harry made Theo and I eat two slices of toast each, and drink at least one glass of water.

"No hot cocoa today," he had told me, pushing my glass towards me with a sorry smile. "need you hydrated."

Then he spoke. A lot. He talked about different weather conditions and environments. He told us if we could find water, we need to stay close to it. Most of the time, there's fish in there, and we know how to catch fish. He warned us about fires and their smoke and when to light them. Theo didn't look like he could really handle listening to Harry at that moment, so I listened for the both of us.

"We can do this Theo," I told him, when I noticed he was losing color in his face and his eyes were welling up. "we're going to get in the arena, and you're going to stay on your platform no matter what." I made sure he was looking at me before continuing. "I'll come get you. You only move if someone's coming towards you, okay?"

He nodded, his whole face wobbling as he held back tears. "What if something happens to you why you're trying to get to me? What do I do?"

"The only way I won't get to you is if I'm dead, and that's not going to happen." I swore firmly. There's absolutely no way I'm going to die knowing Theo's still in danger. "I promise, I'll get to you."

"B-but what if-"

"You're smart Theo," I reached over to wipe the water on his cheeks. "you'll know what to do. We've been surviving our whole lives."

He had nodded, despite the fear swimming around in his crystal eyes, and we fell into silence until Harry told us we had to go. We moved towards the elevator, Harry stopping me before I got too far. His thin fingers circled my wrists, and his tired eyes looked into mine with longing.

"I'll do what I can to take care of you two," Harry murmured, "whatever it takes." I nodded, lump in my throat. If there's one thing I've learned about Harry, it's that he can't lie. He'd rather move around the truth than actually lie, so I knew his word was good.

"I'm going to do this Harry," I swore, my words becoming muffled when he pulled me into his chest for a hug. "It'll either be Theo or me, I promise."

I don't know what made me say that it might be me coming home because I will make sure it's Theo. Maybe I felt like Harry needed to hear it, to know that I hear him.

"I know," Harry mumbled in my ear, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Do they feel okay?"

Julius brushed his hands over my shoulders, straightening out the thick winter coat he'd just zipped up. I nodded, rolling my shoulders and shaking my legs to make sure nothing about my outfit feels wrong.

"It's going to be cold there." He told me, as if I couldn't already tell my the clothes he layered me in. I still nodded, unable to find anything to say. It's as if Harry kept my voice, stuffed in one of his pockets to make sure my words stay with him.

Julius was just finishing up braiding my hair when a buzz rang out, signaling that it's time for me to enter my platform. We don't say anything, I suppose he's realized I'm unable to, and I zip my coat up to my chin, stepping onto the platform. Julius stares at me, nodding firmly just once, and then the pedestal begins to rise. The tube grows dark, and the air cold. So cold it stings my face and ears, and my eyes begin to water. The first break of light doesn't hurt considering I'm already squinting from the winter breeze. Once I'm able to see clearly, I take in the arena.

A silver cornucopia sits in the center of the 24 tributes, large chunks of ice and swirls of frost hanging off of it. The area around us is nothing but snow and ice, a forest trapped in a winter wonderland. A screen above the cornucopia displays the countdown: 25 seconds. I quickly look around the weapons laid out, cursing when I realize the spears and larger weapons are further in, making it harder to get out. If I want Theo and I to survive, I have to get one. Backpacks are laid out in the grass, one sitting about three feet in front of me. I'll grab it on my way to the cornucopia.

12 seconds.

Looking around the tributes, I ignore their frightened gazes until I see a familiar pair of blue eyes staring right at me, frozen like a deer. Theo's trembling, cheeks already red in the cold. I give him a reassuring nod, readying myself to run as the final seconds tick down.

A gong ring outs, and I leap forward. My winter boots are heavy, but after years of swimming and ice fishing, I'm prepared to run on ice. Bodies blur by me, the arena empty of noise as I haul up the backpack and sprint to the cornucopia. Adrenaline or luck, I'm not sure, but I'm thankful when I realize no one's reached the weapons yet. I throw the backpack over my shoulders, diving forward to grip the sleek silver spear. I can hear rushed footsteps getting closer, and I steady myself on the side of the metal tube, turning just as the person gets within range. I don't even distinguish which tribute it is before I ram the butt of the spear into their head, knocking them unconscious.

It's Marlin, I realize, just as a screech rings out. I look up to see Trina slipping on ice as she hauls herself towards us. I have no doubt that she sees the blood dripping from her partners temple.

I jump back to action, stepping over him and grabbing the trident resting on the wall. Theo needs a weapon too. I duck around an incoming tribute, somehow managing to get by with only a tug on my sleeve. I notice all the careers are skidding around on the frosty ground. They must not have prepared for this kind of weather.

Theo is huddled down on his platform still, hugging his knees and looking around with wild eyes. His lock on me, and he launches forward too, meeting me halfway. I breathe out a sigh of relief when I realize he's okay and he somehow got a backpack too.

"Come on, we have to go!" I yell, flinching as the fighting screams of the Careers ring out behind us. They've armed themselves, and they're already killing. Theo takes the trident from me, following me into the line of forest trees. The further in we step the more the snow lessens, turning into the frozen ground. I thank whatever good karma's been waiting for me, thankful that I won't have to worry about tracks, and we run. The cold air burns my hands and face and I can feel my legs getting tired but I keep going. The fog from my breath gets too thick so I reach up and hold my hand over my face. I don't know how long we run for, but it's easier to move on this flooring rather than the ice so we go as far as possible.

"I can't-b-breathe." Theo stutters, my own throat and chest stinging painfully so I know it's time to stop. I slow down to a walk, tucking my chin into the collar of my jacket. We need to find water, or a safe place to hide so we can go through our bags and figure out what we need.

"We need a tree or something to hide out in for now." I mutter, teeth chattering. Theo nods, his own chin wobbling in the cold. It's hard to see anything through the thick trees, but the rocky edge of a mountainside peeks through. It's not too far away, and it'll provide some protection from the wind.

"Let's get closer to the mountain, yeah?" Theo follows my line of sight, nodding again. I adjust my grip on my spear, fingers aching and tight from being exposed. Theo and I continue walking, and I keep my eyes and ears perked for any sign of oncoming trouble. Maybe his fingers are cold too, or maybe he's frightened. Whatever it is, I don't question when Theo slips his empty hand into mine. Instead I welcome the warmth of having him with me, even if I wish he were a thousand miles from here, safe and sound.

Theo is the first to climb, my back to the tree trunk with our weapons while he pulls himself up the tree as high as he can. The sky is starting to darken, meaning the bloodbath at the cornucopia is dying down. I wonder how many died, which districts they were from. I wonder if somehow Marlin found his way to his feet and managed to slaughter with his fellow butchers. The thought makes me queasy so I push it away.

"I found a good spot!" Theo calls down, and I look up to see him peaking down from a rather large branch. It forks out at a comfortable angle, and luckily another branch for me is close by. I hand his trident up to him, still paying attention to the area around me. There's been no sign of anyone around us, but I refuse to let my guard down.

Theo takes his weapon, and mine, leaving me with free hands to climb the tree. I hurry, staying close to the trunk and ignoring the way the bark scratches my palms and makes them burn even more. I settle on the branch next to Theo, the small gap between them but being big enough for either of us to fall through, so we huddle close together to stay warm. Theo's tucked our weapons under his legs so they don't fall, bag on his lap. I do the same.

"I think my fingers are too frozen to open the zipper." He chuckles lightly, body shaking against mine.

"Tuck 'em into your sleeves." I say, fumbling with my zipper to pull it open. The first thing to bulge out is made of thick, heat reflecting fabric and I realize it's a sleeping bag. "Nice," I nod, carefully unrolling it and throwing it over Theo's legs. He wiggles closer to me, clutching the bag tighter against him.

"Thanks Athena."

I nod, continuing my search through the bag. Hopefully there's another one in the other back pack. The next is an empty water bottle with a small pack of water treatment in it. I huff, wishing it was already filled with water, but the Capitol is never that kind.

"Oh thank God." I grin, finding a pair of winter gloves. I clutch them tightly, rubbing my fingers of the waterproof exterior. "Put these on." I instruct, hanging them to Theo. He doesn't hesitate to slip them over his small hands.

The rest of the contents are dried beef and fruit, a long rope, and a pack of matches. Not bad for one backpack, and I can't help but be thankful that Theo managed to grab one too.

Once Theo's tucked in nice and warm, trident now safely in his bag next to him, I empty his bag. We've got the same stuff, so I settle in the same way he does. Sleeping bag up to my chest, spear next to me, gloves on. I'm settling the bag behind me as a backrest when Theo speaks up.

"There's never been an arena like this." His voice is quite and trembling, and I hope it's more from the cold rather than fear. He's safe with me, but I'd prefer he'd be able to hide his emotions. Never let anyone see your weaknesses.

"No there hasn't," I respond after thinking back on all the Games I've seen. Forest and mountains are typical, but frozen ones aren't. The last Games where the temperature was low lasted too long and got boring. Most of the tributes froze to death, and many Capitol residents were upset with the lack of blood shed and gore. "but that means everyone's at a disadvantage. Not just us."

"What do you mean?"

"No ones prepared for an arena like this. Did you see all the tributes that couldn't even move on the ice? We're all out of our element, meaning..."

Theo smiles, relieved. "We've got a level playing field."

I nod proudly, throwing an arm over him and pulling him to my chest. He happily cuddles up next to me, sighing pleasantly at the added warmth. "Exactly."

The temperature dropped with the sun, leaving Theo and I wrapped even tighter around each other. The only relief that came with nightfall was the absence of the wind. Theo's quietly eating a strip of beef, head against my shoulder when the Capitol anthem plays throughout the arena. He sits up straight at that, both of us looking to the sky.

The canons went off a couple hours ago, 14 of them, meaning 14 of the tributes have already been murdered. There's only 10 left, including Theo and I. I hate to think it, but I can't help but feel further at ease knowing I've only got 8 tributes to outlive to make sure Theo gets home.

Finally, the Capitol seal comes up in the clouds, displaying the fallen tributes. I can't help but chuckle lowly at that. I never realized how ironic it is that we're called the fallen. As if we were angels, torn from heaven to be murdered.

I don't any faces of the tributes displayed in the sky, nor there names. All the ones that are a threat, mainly the Careers, are still alive. The tiny bit of ease I just managed to muster up disappears. The real threats are still alive, and most likely hunting.

The sky returns to darkness, and Theo falls back into my chest. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep and I'm thankful. He needs rest, we both do, but for now I can keep watch. I don't think I'd be able to sleep anyway. In the frigid night, breath leaving my lips in clouds, I think of Harry sat on out balcony in pajamas, our blanket tucked around his shoulders. The thought warms my body, so I keep it fresh in my mind all night. Not that it's hard. I don't think I'd be able to stop thinking about him if I tried.

#The Fighter #harry styles #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #one direction #harry styles au #hunger games harry #harry styles as finnick #Hunger games au #Harry is basically finnick odair #district 4 harry #Victor Harry

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