#isnt the dad move of the year im just saying

[keistance]

the thing about obi wan is that he's accustomed to deal with people (qui gon, the council, his childhood friends, his former lovers, even his enemies) that can see through him as if he were an open window so he assumes everyone else can too and thats a problem, you see, because the one person who needed to know those emotions and feelings existed saw that window panel as if it was shut with bolts and made of cement. so obi wan would leave the order and thus the only way he knows life to be (apart from outright civil war) to complete anakin's training, he would freeze time so anakin can always be a little child who seeks his comfort when the rain gets a little too loud and never has to experience any sadness greater than that, he would carry all his burdens and shoulder all his injuries so anakin's doesn't have to bear them, he would stop at nothing to save him; obi wan loves anakin like a brother, but anakin doesn't know any of that because obi wan isn't going to voice something that for him and everyone else is abundantly clear

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #sw meta #obi wan is also a right asshole so i dont exactly blame anakin on that one lol like it's not only they communicate their love in different #languages but obi wan ''we should have left you at watto's shop'' kenobi did not make it easy for the child #meeting a ''you are like a father to me'' with a ''then why do you never listen to me '' and taking a shot right afterwards #isnt the dad move of the year im just saying #my property

[caffeinatedopossum]

About your last post, being persistently exposed to trauma, residually as a child, is absolutely a fucked up thing whether or not anything directly happened to you. Whether or not others take it seriously that is absolutely valid trauma and I'm sorry and hope you feel better soon.

Thank you :(( I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it was damaging

#tw csa mention in these tags #i think i didnt realize it was traumatic because when stuff started to come out #it was allegations about my dad from one of my sisters #saying that he sa'd our sister and my dad immediately went to jail #but my mom was devastated and couldnt function. idk exactly what happened because its blurry (i was only 7 so yeah) #idk somehow our mom got him out of jail tho and i was told (VERY emphatically) that he wasnt actually guilty #my sisters were forced to testify #saying that they had lied essentially and it wasnt true #and thats what i was told too. i was told that it was a lie and it hadnt happened and i believed that #because i was 7. most children my age didnt even know what sex WAS let alone abuse #i also didnt really care because i didnt understand. i was just scared and i missed how my family used to be #but obviously it never went back to the way it was #my parents moved us really far away. out of state. and after that i was never allowed to stay home alone with my dad again #which was upsetting for me because i hated going most places (i would get sensory overload and i had bad anxiety already) #and i also didnt understand why my mom was so convinced someone would spread allegations again if they had no reason to #basically it was years and years of me slowly realizing what really happened #and it never fully sunk in... i think in a way im still that terrified 7 year old deep down. in denial because acceptance isnt acceptable #skfkgj sorry for the trauma dump it just helps to talk about specifics sometimes

[yjwonz]

i Hate being the eldest child.

#im gonna go off on a rant what the eff #NAH CAUSE HHHHHHH #i cannot wait to move out #if my aunties speak to me One more time i will shoot myself #and just now i was tryna get my youngest sister to go to sleep bc god knows why she woke up #and she kept tryna play with her plushie and i was getting tired and annoyed #so i took it from her (ik boohoo im a terrible person) and i said if she didnt sleep i wouldnt give it back #obvi i didnt mean it and I KNOW she could tell i wasnt bc she said 'no you arent' and i was like how do you know ?!!? #and she starts like screaming. throwing a Fit at 2 in the morning #and for god knows why all the aunties are still here and in the living room chatting with the uncles and my dad #and a bunch of the aunties come over and start yelling at me to give it back saying im a terrible brother #and this 'isnt how they would parent their children' and all that bullshit?? #LIKE BITCH FIRST OF ALL ITS NOT EVEN MY KID?? #and all the while my sisters sitting there - tears on her face - but shes like smugly smiling. #i think it was clear i was pissed off bc my dad comes in saying 'why r u mad at ur aunties? whats wrong w u?' LIKE.???? #and they force me to give it back and shes going to sleep soundly and i have to go sit in my room bc im bad kid or whatev #LIKE???!!??@ #i was this close to throwing a fit myself bruh. #i cant wait until my sisters get older and realize ive been their parent for the past couple years and older than them #<- so idk why they act like theyre the shit and better than me like bro your personality is from ME !!!!!!! IM THE PROTOTYPE !!!! #and yall know whats the worst part?? IT WAS MY FUCKING PLUSHIE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#honestly been in such a bad mental space #ever since my family denied my trauma and tried to manipulate my memories like it never happened #i swear i wonder if they're all narcissist or something #using all these manipulative tactics to try and distort reality while also diminishing me is crazy #i told my aunt and grandma why I hated my dad for so long and they really told me: No ! never! he is not an alcoholic. #like if him drinking every single day for years isnt an issue or signs of alcoholic dependency with borderline addiction #not one day do I remember him not coming home already drinking from the ages 8 to 18 and they all deny it like he isnt still drinking #every single day* like come on he hasnt stopped drinking for more than 2 days LMAO and I'm not even getting into his outbursts #i remember how bad it got once mt grandma moved out and it was just us dude literally drank a 6 pack a day every single day #get loud for anything #if your question sounded like you were challenging him and his “authority” he would lose his mind #my sister thinks its okay all in the past like if its okay he hit her when we grew up like they really used to hit her bad and jump her #my moms losing her memory every day so she doesnt remember how she used to be but she does apologize to my sister for how it was then #my dad has never apologized he never saw it as wrong to him she was his daughter and his possession or property #and she didnt have a say cause it was his house. even though it was never his house; it was Grandma's house. but he sure acted like it was #always proclaiming this is my fucking house you do what i say “yes you do” i still remember all the fist fights that happened from me #just standing up to his outburst and disrespect and it didnt matter if i was 13 if i called out his disrespect #he took that as me disrespecting his authority in the household when i was just calling out his horrible actions and bullshit #all those times we fought was cause of how he was acting and i had enough and would say something #i still remember the last time we fought i was like 17 or maybe 18 and he was disrespecting my mom and grandma and so i got mad #and remember telling him im tired of you being so rude always trying to control other people's lives and tell em what to do #he got so mad and immediately ran up to me an snuck me and i managed to grapple him into a headlock and he was still trying to hit me #he almost hit my mom and grandma when he was swinging crazy #i didnt talk to him for at least a year and even now i have spurts where I dont see him for weeks at a time even though we live together #im so tired of the bullshit though

[lavender---sunshine]

💖 Had my first car cry today besties 💖

#watch my spending #i am just exhausted #im so sick of my parents expecting me to be responsible and giving my brother a free pass #just because he bitches louder #rent is due and i just paid my car payment and my cellphone is due on the 4th and my internet got turn off #because my parents cant afford to keep it on and they're asking me to pay for my car insurance despite the promise #that they would pay for the first year like they did for my brother. which. i knew. or i should have known not to believe #meanwhile my brother is trying to buy a tesla and isnt paying rent #but he broke his hand and the surgery got rescheduled and he wont move his shit #and I got chastised for saying i want to buy a new fridge because i hate the one i have. i need to says my dad #fuck you! #im keeping mom afloat! im paying for everything #and i had a little breakdown in the car because i realized right when i got to my second job that i needed gas #i was so looking forward to sleeping in on Sunday and now i have to get up early anyway #and i get no reprieve. theres no rest. no break. #i wish i had a second day off because I have no time and all these responsibilities #and i had to get into the lowtide water yesterday #and they're giving me more stuff to do at work #and i have to return a package and get gas and make my lunch and text a friend happy birthday and publish the work schedule and respond to #this email and pay off my credit card and clean my room and text my manager and wait for my brothers hand to heal so he can move and sleep #i need to sleep #life is messy

[kararomanoff]

once upon a time a daddy just wanted her baby

this was written by a minor, if that makes you uncomfortable just don’t read

You are at an archery competition and stay in a hotel where all the other contestants are also staying. Kate Bishop was always your main competition, she was your enemy , but one night you appears at her room door. (G!P Kate)

warning: g!p Kate, daddy kink, rough sex, degradation, pet names, oral sex (r giving), p in v sex

You had done archery since as long as you could remember, your grandpa had been the first person to teach you always spending time together in your grandparents garden practicing, he was your best friend and when your mom who was his daughter died you and your dad moved in with him.

He had always been there for you even when you came out and your dad had shouted of days until he decided to leave your life over it and yet again grandpa was there, he was now all you have, him and archery.

you first met Kate Bishop when you where eleven, you where at your first serious archery competition sitting on the bench waiting till it was your turn when she came up to you and said ''apparently your who im up against to win, your just a stupid little girl your not going to win'' she was 14 at the time and that's how it's been since ; her thinking very little of you and you wanting to prove how good you are.

now sitting in a hotel room in berlin alone trying to figure out why Kate has only ever been horrible to you for these seven years. You had never known or asked why and it made everything hell, you never started doing archery competitively for the competition you did it for the community and for getting friends that had the same interest as you and all she had done had made it something scary, you didn't want to try prove yourself all the time just for her to never change, she is twenty one now and still acting the same as she did at fourteen, its ridiculous.

you need to speak to her. you need to shout in her face and tell her how she made hell out of you life.

she was some where in this hotel, all the contestants are.

you walk down to the reception desk ''hi, i was just wondering if you could tell me what room Kate Bishop is staying in, i need to speak to her'' you speak to the middle aged woman ''are they expecting you?''

''no'' you feel nervous now, what if you cant speak to her

''one second let me call and check its okay for me to give you her room number'' shit there is no way Kate is going to give it to you.

You wait as anxiously as she phones knowing Kate will give you shit for this when you next see her.

she comes off the phone ''she said yes, its room 1457'' you thank the woman for her help and then make you way to Kates room now having no idea what you are going to say or why she is letting you in her room.

you get the door of room 1457, Kate's room, her room. You knock on the door and wait what feels like forever till the door opens. Kate stands there in a shirt and her boxers, you cant help but stare at the outline of her cock and think about how big she is but you stop yourself.

You look back up, her lips held in a steady smirk ''I need to speak to you'' she nods and moves to the side to let you in. Kate sits down on the bed as if you weren't even there as you a stand as far away as you can.

''why are you here little girl hm? isnt it past your bed time''

''mm yeah it is but- what no Kate im 18 i dont have a bed time'' you lie, you did have a bed time that you had chosen but you couldnt tell her that.

''awww you do have a bed time dumb baby, when is it, 7pm?'' she laughs

you feel small when she treats you like this; which is practically when ever she speaks to you. ''no it at 10:45'' you mutter under your breath

''oh look at that its 10:35 ten minute till bed time and you here, do you need me to read you a bed time story? give you some milk?'' you shake your head feeling powerless against her ''come here'' Kate demands softly but you not move ''I SAID COME HERE!'' you walk over to the bed and stand in front of it ''little girl you cant go to bed in your clothes'' she sounds so evil ''Kate i cant do that'' you speak quietly ''you can and you will or i'll make you'' she threats and so you take your clothes off until your left in your bra and panties.

Kate stands up from the bed and walks behind you till towers over you. She presses her front on your back and you can feel her hard dick against you. ''you cant sleep with a bra on, such a dumb girl'' Kate tuts as she unhooks your bra till it slips off ''be a good girl for once and lie down on the bed for daddy'' you do as you told and lie down.

''now daddys going to tell you a story little girl okay'' she sits down at the desk chair and cups her cock through her boxers

''m'kay''

'' once upon a time a daddy just wanted her baby but her baby was bad and wont spend time with her daddy and that made her daddy very sad'' Kate pulls her boxers down till her dick comes out, she wraps her hand around it and start to move her hand up and down ''all the daddy wanted to do was care and teach and give her little girl super special treats but her baby was dumb and kept running away and then... well...'' she stands up to properly take off her boxers ''daddy had to punish her little girl'' you where in shock but also so very turned on it was embarrassing

''come to daddy baby'' you got up and stood in front of her ''your gonna be a good little obedient thing and suck daddys big special treat to apologise for being such a mean bad dumb little girl, open for daddy'' you open your mouth and she shoves her cock inside, you whine never have having a dick in your mouth, Kate know this, she know you where her good virgin and she know that she was going to take that from you and turn you into her fuck toy.

Kate grabbed you by your hair as she started to thrust into your mouth not caring about your whine and moans or the tears running down your face ''fucking take daddys giant cock take it'' her thrust speed up and her grip on your hair tightens ''fuck such a little whore all for daddy, bet your soaked hm? bet your pussy trying to grip onto nothing cause you want daddy in you so much''

''daddys gonna cum and you are gonna swallow every. last. fucking. drop'' and as she says that she cums send it all the way down your throat.

a minute later she pulls her dick out of your mouth, a string of her cum and your saliva going from your mouth to your her pretty pink tip '' take your pantie off and then get on the bed on all fours'' she commands and yet again you do as your told still wanting to prove how good you are.

''look at you doing what i tell you too, did daddy fuck some sense into you little one?'' you tried to reply but anything you tried to say was incoherent.

''this is gonna hurt at first but then it'll really really good, daddy promises'' Kate rasps as she starts to push her length

''mhmm daddy i-'' you moan

''i know slut daddy feels so good'' she then fills you with the entirety of her cock

''so fucking tight for daddy'' she starts to move pretty fast for at first but shes been waiting years for this. You had never given her a break, always being a good innocent girl with the bonus of daddy issues. Kate had lost count of the amount of times she jerked of thinking of her pretty baby, you've always been her pretty baby you just hadn't known. She was going to make you her dumb baby and you weren't going to say no.

you where close already, Kate could feel it; she could feel you squeezing her tight. ''so wet, is this all for daddy little girl?''

''yes daddy, yes all for you'' you where mindless at this point.

''you mine, mine only'' she husk possessively

''only daddys''

''fuck thats right whore'' Kate moans

''daddy i- i feel weird'' you cry out not really understanding the way your body feels.

''let it go baby, cum for daddy'' and then you came feeling so free and overwhelmed and floaty, suddenly thought you feel to much, over stimulated as she continues to thrust into you even faster than before.

'' 's to much daddy'' but she doesn't stop

''but daddy need to cum stupid baby''

'' 'm okay'' you tiredly reply

''fuck daddys gonna cum'' Kate paints your walls white as you whine.

Kate pulls out of you as you blink trying to keep your eyes open ''you did so good for daddy, everythings gonna be okay now i can look after you. sleep little one''

#kate bishop #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x you #kate bishop smut #kate bishop fanfiction #g!p #marvel #fanfic #wlw smut #mcu #bd/sm daddy #hawkeye series #hawkeye tv

[ethanedwardsnumberonefan]

Insta Hockey AU | x Reader

AU: You grew up with The Hughes boys as their neighbour and the fact your dad coached Jack’s PeeWee team, making you bestfriends. And by some luck the year The Hughes were supposedly leaving you to move to Michigan for Jack to join Team USA, your dad gets a call about an assistant coaching job for Team USA. Thus moving to Michigan and becoming an honorary member and best friend of the Team USA boys and attending Umich

(I have no clue who this AU will end up with 😭)

Pt 2

Y/nL/n

Liked by _quinnhughes and others

Y/nL/n

Golfing -> Golfing ⛳️☀️🌴🥂💕

trevorzegras woah woah paparazzi much?

Y/nLn you’re never being posted on my account ever after this

thomasbordeleau_ atta girl

jackhughes so trevor and luke got solos but i had to share my feature?

Y/nL/n im going to block you and z soon try me, at least cole was funny when he did this

colecaufield thank you

lhughes_06 no pic creds?

Y/nL/n pic creds to lu 💕

trevorzegras why isnt he getting potentially blocked

Y/nL/n hes the most tolerable out of all you

_quinnhughes you sure about that?

user6 👀👀

calemakar ⛳️🥂

user1 haven’t seen him comment on something in a while 🤨

markestapa when are you gonna visit me ethans getting annoying

edwards.73 ??

user4 shes so cute how has none of the boys dated her what 😭

user7 that’s what im saying something there has gotta be going on 😭😭

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Y/nL/n has posted on their story!

jackhughes has posted to their story!

trevorzegrasfanaccount

Liked by user3 and others

trevorzegrasfanaccount

Z and Y/n golfing 👀

user2 girl they’re just golfing no need for 👀

user7 i dunno guys..

user6 has no one heard of best friends 😭😭

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A/N: I still don’t know who this ends up with please comment and help me 😭

#umich boys #umich hockey #umich imagine #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #luke hughes #luke hughes x reader #quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #cale makar #cale makar x reader #mark estapa #ethan edwards #hockey instagram au #jack hughes imagine #trevor zegras imagine #quinn hughes imagine #mark estapa imagine #new jersey devils #anaheim ducks #umich #alex turcotte #cole caufield #cale makar imagine #thomas bordeleau #luke hughes imagine #hockey insta edit #hockey au

[sugar-omi]

bruh it feels so weird to be writing smth that isnt a request... ily guys sm though tysm for sending your requests all the time, rn im taking this time to finish everything in my drafts + inbox n then i'll open my requests again 👍 anyway this was gonna turn into smut but i decided a part 2 will be best, so here are some crumbs for now <333

tags : Suggestive, all readers, drabbles (there is no cohesive order in the way things happen imma be honest), flirting, you know you have a crush on each other, touchy cove, (mention of) drinking, reader likes long hair, the length of cove's hair is up for interpretation (imagine his hair is like any of the step 4 hairstyles)

[inspired by this post: you n cove teasing/flirting with each other]

synopsis : you and cove are in college and since you're so busy, cove hasn't gotten his hair cut and it's getting longer than he's ever had it, of course you need to tell him how attractive he is with it long.

[part 2] [part 3 / TBA (this will b smut👍👍)]

it comes up when you're sitting on the floor of terry's dorm.

cove is looking at a long strand of hair he's pulled into view, scrutinizing the length. "I'm probably gonna go in for a trim... or do have my dad do it, it'll be cheaper that way." he laughs

you come in from behind, balancing drinks in your hand and passing it out to your circle.

"no way!" you start, "top three worst things a man can do is cut his long hair." you laugh, joking but serious on your opinion

"what makes you say that?" Miranda giggles, leaning into Terry.

you take a swig of your water. it's room temperature n does nothing to ease your throat.

"long hair is sexy."

cove feels his heart skip, suddenly feeling very hot and it's not from the smirnoff-ice you and lee bought during her visit last weekend.

"what's the other two?" Terry asks

"be a dick and insult your mother." you smile, taking the dice to the board game you're playing and rolling.

your piece moves up three squares, player orange owes you money.

Terry curses. "fuck! you're robbing me, man!"

you cackle, taking Terry's fake dollar bills.

coves still stuck on what you just said, and you keep grinning even when realize how red he is.

you can't help but tease him a bit more than usual today. maybe it's because of how he's wearing his hair and his glasses are hanging low on his beautiful nose, and it makes his face look so goddamn irresistible.

maybe the alcohol has you a little more brave today, just enough to make your heart not jump out of your chest at 100mph and for your lips to be a bit looser than usual.

"you look sexy like that cove.." you purr, tangling your hand his hair.

you push his bangs up to show his forehead, some shorter hairs falling out and the rest dropping back against his face when you reach around to tug on his work-in-progress ponytail.

you lean in to whisper in his ear, not caring that your friends are just a game board across from you, Miranda hiding her face n Terry making silent gagging and booing faces.

enjoying how red his ears are and how frantic he looks, you cup your hand as if to share a secret. "you make me wanna fuck you when you look like this.."

you lean back, leaving cove to process what you just said.

honestly, the two of you have been in this song-and-dance for years ever since you were 17, it started becoming unbearable, but not unbearable enough to do something.

for now anyway

it was from subtle glances to tangling your pinkies, than it went to undressing each other with your eyes from the other side of the couch. and then when you got into college it was mouthing dirty or suggestive lyrics to tease the other, and it was cove's hands on your back, hips, and leg as he pushed past you or held you down with his large palm on your thigh as he told Terry to take the backseat since you're his copilot today.

and his fucking smile when he said it, the little wink he gave...

and now it's been one hair away from dirty talking each other in the library.

you and cove are looking for the books for your shared class and he points out how the student working the front desk is giving you gaga eyes.

you laugh, a bit nervous at the thought.

cove stalks behind you, hands in his pockets and with the RBF on his face he looks lazy and mean.

"every time we go out, someone is checking you out... why are you so pretty y/n?" cove pouts, grumbling.

you roll your eyes. he's a bit tired from getting little sleep so he could study for the test he had this morning, and that cove is always a bit more... husky.

he licks his lips.

"serious. you're too beautiful to take anywhere.." cove comes up behind you, rest his chin on your shoulder and intertwining his fingers in your hoodie pocket.

you stutter, getting flustered. "c-cove! get off you big oaf!"

cove just hums, hugging you.

you tremble a bit, waiting for him to get off you.

it feels so good and makes you so excited to have him like this, to have his thick voice scratch your ears and now his body heat against you.

he removes his forehead from your neck, his hands taking a firm grip of your hips before he moves away. then in a low voice, scratchy with fatigue. "don't flirt back with anyone else, okay?"

he takes the books from your arms, bringing them up to the counter with a thump, biting back his smile as he watches the dude ring them up with a bit of a scowl on his face.

you flounder for a bit, feeling dizzy like cove just sucked all your life force out of you. it always makes your world shift a little when cove reciprocates your advances or flirts with you unprompted..

you snap out of your thoughts, deciding that the library was not a good place to have a wet daydream, and you rejoin cove as he accepts the books.

this man has ruined you..

#our life: beginnings & always #olba #cove holden x reader #cove holden #cove x mc #cove x reader #cove holden smut #our life cove #cove our life #cove holden x mc #smut #cove holden x mc smut

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

#txt #bob's burgers #episode review #bb spoilers

[unicornsaures]

yapping about the outsiders x amrev

Okay so first off, not replacing any characters, obviously. Im thinking the aides are their own seperate little group that just hang around one another. Not an actual gang like the shepard gang but more how the main characters run; just a group thats independent, but willing to stick up for one another. Ive decided that if i ever do something with this god forsaken AU its genuinely just gonna be mostly seperate from the main plot because none of the aides themselves would be socs and so the plot wouldnt even be relevant until the very end.(I have been thinking of making Lafayette a soc or something. Just for the fuck of it to test some limits to hamilton, laurens, and laf's friendship with the whole bob thing ehe!)

But for the sake of this AU, theyre all aged into their 20s except for Washington. Its just easier than having 60 year olds street fighting.

Right, so characters! I havent thought much on other aides BUT i have thought VERY heavily on Laurens and Hamilton, obviously. So, starting with Laurens. Hes literally the same. Hes just as impulsive as he is during his time period if not worse. Hes given more opportunities to fight and he takes every. single. one. I would say hes similar to Dally but really he isnt. He'll get in a fistfight every week or so but nothing serious enough he ends up in jail. His relationship with HL is kind if rocky, too. They moved from SC to fucking oklahoma and John is not too happy about the move, for one, and his father isnt happy that Laurens turned into a 'hood.' Mainly, he just wont sleep at his own house. He'll crash at Meade's place or maybe Hamilton's run down, abandoned little house if he has to. HL isnt abusive or anything he just doesnt like living with so many siblings while his father goes on and on about how hes a bad influence. Not helping that he has a new bruise or cut every time he vists but i digress, John is basically a 'watered down' dally.

Righttt, Hamilton! Yeah, born in NYC, mom died, got too expensive, so he moved to good ol Oklahoma without his dad. I may just say he works at DX with Soda and whatnot because while the aides arent needed for the plot, i want them to feel a lil somethin somethin when everything goes down in the book and having a relation to both Soda and Steve would at least make Hamilton feel a bit bad and maybe even convince him to fight in the rumble at the end. Laurens and him arent really officially dating either. Theyre technically exclusive, but they never really talked about it and kind of just say theyre there to keep each other in check. Neither of them really want to confront any of their emotions towards anything so they settle for hamilton lovingly scolding laurens every time he gets in a fight and sharing 'no homo' kisses. Yeah and he lives in this run down house that he doesnt pay for and he has to drop by Meade's place whenever cops come searching for anyone living in there because i need him to be a little bit pathetic.

The rest of the aides are primarily undecided, if im being honest. Meade's parents are still alive from what I know and the other aides either stay at their own house or crash at Meade's, but Laurens is usually taking up the couch on most nights as does Hamilton. Most of the other aides arent big fighters really, theyre just trying to make it through college/day to day jobs. Washington kind of watches over all of them, like an unofficial father to their lil gang. They just hang around him and he frequently scolds them all for misbehaving. Hes like darry but older i guess. (Hes like, in his late 40's in this AU.)

Oh, and kinloch is there because i said so! If anything, he gives me major soc vibes and i primarily think he is why Laurens has such a knack for starting fights with socs for no reason. They were some weird ass situationship and they had an unofficial breakup that Laurens is still extremely salty over. Francis totally went for his neck during the rumble btw and they hate each other and laurens still tries to start fights with him whenever he sees him.

Though, Lafayette is also pretty undecided. I want him to be a greaser but at the same time i think him being a soc would test the limits of him and laurens' friendship while also he and hamilton's friendship. Laurens because obviously, francis. Hamilton because he saw how the socs affected soda, steve, etc and he feels bad for them, but also Lafayette would be dead set that Johnny is a murderer because he needs to stick up for the socs to stay loyal.

Now lets talk about the rumble! I think only some of the aides would get involved, really. Hamilton would because he saw how johnny affected steve and soda, Laurens because he just wants to fight, and the two dragged along Tilghman and Harrison because theyre strong enough to do some genuine damage. The rest of them just dont want to be involved in all of that and think its easier to just not get hurt.(Meade tags along but stands off to the side just to make sure no one gets seriously injured. He has change ready for a pay phone in case he needs to call up washington.)

Now, what i think would be interesting is their reaction to Dally's death. Im saying Laurens wouldve heard his name, as would all of the greasers, really. So their entire gang would know his name, but im mainly thinking about Laurens for this one because id like to think that he kind of looked up to him in some fucked up way? Not really looked up to, but more so respected. I feel like with Ham telling him about how Soda and Steve reacted and how they act at the DX afterwards would really fuck with him too and id like to think hed drop by the curtis house or some shit to say that he thought dally was a cool guy or something.

Yeah, anyway this is all pretty rough in terms of what the fuck im yapping about i just spat out every word that came to mind.

#alexander hamilton #john laurens #amrev #the outsiders #amrev x the outsiders #dolirants #oh i am MAD yapping #aide de camps #tw long post

[theosconfessions]

You are super cool and awesome and neat, yay! Also do you want to share more about growing up in a haunted house? ;)

omg you are the sweetest!! i was just putting in some drafts for the week coming up and i seen this and was like I SURE DO. now my mom has more stories than i do. BUT one that i still have reoccuring dreams about to this dayyyyyyy and im in my 30s.. is the apartment we grew up in when we first moved out here with my mum [ my dad was there too at the time but not really so literally just my mum in this]. so heres the thing. me and my twin never discussed this with my mum and she never discussed it with us until a few years ago . so its like we all validated out own stories and it made sense to her why she kept having experiences in that place. so. when we first moved there me and my sister were super young.and to help paint a picture of the place there was an adjoining closet that connected both rooms. our bedroom and our mums bedroom. this had a wall seperating them but it was technically the same closet. the first night we spent there she told us she woke up to a man in the closet... with a fucked up neck if you get what im saying. i dont want tumblr to get me haha. she told him he wasnt welcome here and to leave [she is a nurse and she was used to seeing shit . especially working night shift so this really didnt make her flinch here] now cut to us dumb ass little girls in our bedroom .. i remember one day seeing a boy come to us. we invited him to play barbies with us. and we named him andrew. and we remember there was something wrong with his neck. even as we grew up and we stopped seeing him physically we sensed shit in that closet and also..there was weekly occurances of what we called 'the radio men' which really sounded like a muffled group of guys talking from the living room. like they were on the radio but really really low. needless to say we spent a good bit of nights in our mums bedroom growing up. i still have dreams either trying to get out of that place or get to it for some reason. and i actually live like a five minute walk from there and often wonder how the people who are there now are doing. i like to think that my grandparents keep me protected from whatever that was now. but it still is pretty strange that now in my 30s im still dreaming about that place. likei said though my mom has stories for DAYS. this is just one. also a super short one... this isnt a ghost story per say because hes not a ghost but we were always close to our grandparents.and at the time we were in middle school they lived in south carolina. we live in pennsylvania. so its a bit of a way. i remember we went to see my grandpa in the hospital about a month before he passed and on our birthday week [me my sister and my grandpa all shared the same bday within like 4 days. his wa son the 11th ours is on the 15th] he seemed GREAT for what he was going through and i see now its because we were there.when i say this man set a prescendence in how a man should treat anyone i mean it. i still hold what he says in me to this day. fr. dont accept any less. so back to the story we were TIGHT with him. ride or die . the day he passed away we had a volleyball game we had no idea he died. i remember looking over my shoulder and seeing him in the stands. i thought hmm.thats weird. hes in south carolina [and also had cancer ] my mum came and got us and when we got home she told us that he passed away. but clear as DAY. i remember seeing my poppop in those stands. the veils always been kinda thin on this end of things. i think i get it from my mom haha. but thats just some of them~ lemme know if you have any!

#non sims #my own ghost story #i should be on dustins podcast tho

[liquidstar]

(this is NOT meant as a "gotcha!" thing, just genuine curiosity. This is about the goldberg post you reblogged btw.) Wanting your own house forever is valid, but it makes me curious about your opinion of marrying someone who ALSO doesn't want anyone in their house and would like to live separately. I don't see why giving up your space has to be a requirement for everybody who gets married. (Obviously its fine to still not want that either lol. Not wanting marriage for any reason is valid!)

oh i wouldnt have seen this as a gotcha, i think its a pretty innocuous question about living arrangements w partners lol

but no yeah i actually totally agree with you, theres no reason marriage has to look like how society tells us to. you know, a man and a woman in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog. i think that you can absolutely have any sort of arrangement you want with your partner

for a long time while i was growing up my parents were long distance, and that was fine and normal to me. i understand now that this wasnt really a choice (with the financial crisis in greece, my dad had to move to america to find work, and we all eventually moved once enough money was saved up etc) but like, it didnt make them any less married in my eyes. and i think that you can absolutely be in different houses even by choice and still be married if thats the kind of relationship youre both happy and secure with. who cares, right?

similarly my grandparents have different bedrooms but never had marital issues. my grandma just likes having her own space during the day, and she says theyd usually just pick one of the rooms to sleep in overnight. thats a mindset i can totally get behind and honestly that would also totally be the ideal setup for me, if i were to ever hypothetically get married.

i joked in the post's tags that one of my most "23 year old opinions" is not wanting to get married and start a family, and a lot of that is just because i dislike the idea of those obligations. but i also think a lot of that is because im young enough that i dont really see it as something i want- i still wanna be single and have fun because thats the kind of asshole i am (JOKE!). like, commitment to something that long term is just not in my field of vision yet. i do genuinely not want kids though but thats a different story. a spouse is something id want only if we really clicked i guess. but isnt that the case for everyone?

but for the time being i dont want anyone in my house LOL and maybe once i do we can have different rooms and do sleepovers like my grandma's genius idea

[lindszeppelin]

I am the anon who sent you the long message, I am also a dude , Im of a rare breed in the fanbase , dont seem like there is alot of us here and thats ok lol I have sent you something before actually about how when men know we know. And I will say that over and over again. Seems like alot of the anons you get seem to be from people who are losing faith in that and think whatever Miss Gerber has with Austin is real. A man knows when he found his wife, not to get all preachy and sound like a religious crazy person but there is legit a whole bible verse in the book of Proverbs about it. I am 31, still young but old enough to know , especially as a married man myself when a guy has found his wife, he isnt hiding that shit. When i proposed to my wife we were on vacation and I legit facetimed my friends when she was in the shower and told them the news, up there squealing like a woman excited as hell LMAO. Austin is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, if he saw that life with Kaia we would know it will show. So all that privacy BS is exactly that.....BS....like he dodges questions about her all the time and Kaia does the same, i personally have never seen celebs go that far to do that, even the ones who wanna be private. They still talk about each other. I think these shippers as I stated see themselves in Kaia,so when things are said about their relationship and lacking chemistry they take it as you saying about them and Austin...anyways I will stop ranting here but i wanted this to known and to give your blog a guy perspective

aaah welcome back in! nice to have you here. the fandom truly needs bit more guys in the fandom to balance out lol. and i think there are, but us women are a lot more vocal about it i'd say lol. and to each their own, it's so cool to have you here.

but i thank you once again for brining in the much needed male perspective on this situation. and coming from a man that is married and is Austin's age, that seriously should be everything that we need to heed your words.

i think a lot this discourse stems from the fact that the super young girls in this fandom closer to kaia's age clearly are showing that they haven't been in a serious relationship, or they don't have a lot of life experience. because a man should love his woman entirely and not be afraid to show it or talk about it. if a man hides his girl in any way then he's not happy with her. austin moves with kaia like a man that is not taking her serious. plus he knows she is too young for anything serious anyway. and when a guy TRULY thinks he has found his future wife, he won't waste time. i know this from personal family and friend experiences. i come from a parental background where my mom and dad got engaged after only 6 months of dating and they are still together 30+ years later. i know someone else where after only a week their man proposed and they are still together. like...it is what it is. a man can be just as emotional, clingy, and lovey-dovey to his woman than the woman is to him. ladies reading...if your guy doesn't act like the sun doesn't rise and set with you then he is not the one and he won't ever be. and that's okay. go find yourself a person that leaves no question as to their feelings for you. if you have to guess or question then, as the famous movie goes, he's just not that into you.

and you mentioned a verse in proverbs. i'm not necessarily a religious fanatic, however i am spiritual and i won't turn my nose up at acknowledging that stuff. . so if you would like to share the verse then go for it.

but once again, thank you so much for your insightful input!!

#lindsay's anon asks

[twsthc]

floyds entire life 🦈🫧

this is for the twsthc server secret santa. im not good at anything but making headcanons so i hope u enjoy my floyd masterhc post thing arbys :3

Mr. & Mrs. Leech meet ♡

Mr. Leech is a tiger shark + giant moray from Okinawa 🇯🇵

Mrs. Leech is a spotted moray eel from Barbados 🇧🇧

╰ I'm not going to try and explain how tiger sharks (who fertilize internally) and moray eels (who fertilize externally) had babies. I don't want to think about it either actually.

They were conceived and born in Hawaii

Jade eats 9,999 eggs and left 1 because they were feeling silly

Floyd hatches!!! Yippee!!!

Floyd leech childhood !!

She was transparent and ugly

Became extremely attached to his mom during the 1 year period he was too small to swim down the reef

╰ Jade was independent and liked to explore greenery near the nest, but this isnt about him.

ꕀ

^^ This is what moray eel nesting looks like btw. Imagine this but with a bigger coral cave, a 12ft (4m) moray mermaid, 15ft (5m) shark/moray merman, and two half foot (15cm) long merbabies.

ꕀ

After they get big enough they begin to explore with jade

╰ Floyd was fascinated with other sea creatures while Jade liked the coral and seaweed around them.

It takes ~7 months for a moray eel to double in size, so at around 2 years old floyd was already a whopping foot (30.5cm) long! yippee!

They learned how to hunt with papa Leech around this time :3

Floyd leech adolescence ☆

I had to do some math. If a moray eel doubles in size every 7 months (~210 days), and floyd was 1 foot (30.5 cm) long at 2 years old, at 13 years old he would be... very big. so im going to curb this logic and say the doubling in size stops at around 3 years old.

╰ tl;dr: Math hard. Floyd too big. Exponents bad.

I'll just say he was 6ft (3m) at 13 years old for convenience

When Floyd turned 13 papa leech tried to train him to become a suitable heir for his "very special business"

╰ This headcanon is from server member deku_chi8256 !!

ꕀ

^^ Moray eels get cleaned by cleaner shrimps! They have a transactional relationship- the shrimp gets a free meal and the moray gets a free bath (scrubbed of any parasites)

I imagine this is somewhat similar to how Mr. Leeches "special business" works. "I'll scratch your back, you'll scratch mine, and if you stop scratching I'll eat you," kind of vibe. This is the mindset he wanted to instill into the tweels.

ꕀ

Floyd proved too difficult to train, so Mr. Leech moved onto Jade

This is where the insecurity and shit started to set in.

╰ I'm not good or patient enough for my dad -> Jade is good and patient -> I hate Jade and I'm running away.

He ends up getting almost eaten whilst away from home multiple times and begrudgingly comes back to apologize.

The tweels begin to explore more, farther from their home/nest

They find a weird octopus kid! Wow!

Floyd leech adolescence (but older) ★

The octatrio start studying to get into NRC ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Azul & Jade learn common languages through textbooks

╰ BORING! LAME! UNORIGINAL!

Floyd learns common languages through nearby sailors

╰ UNIQUE! INNOVATIVE! CREATIVE!

A lot of the sailors used slang, spoke in patois (and, of course, swore like sailors), so Floyd picked that up

Floyd learns about human fashion! He loved all of the colors above ground and the beach became his favorite spot to spy on!

He became obsessed with swimsuits and colorful umbrellas/beach towels, and started to pick up pretty human litter

He also learns about Spongebob. Important detail.

That's all I got in me [insert image of panda shriveled up on respirator here] but yeah I hope u enjoyed this was actually more of a gift for me but idrc :3 I will probably be updating this frequently so :33 YA!!!1

#floyd #flod #floyb #flody leech #tweelfloyd #floyd leech #twsthc

[hugheshugs]

dbsf!thomas has me thinking about them kissing or doing the devils tango and her dad walking in imagine the tension like damn dog

not really smutty but 18+ !!

for all the blurbs that arent accurate w the timeline, im just gonna say they're not canon, like this one. but it would go similarly, this just isnt how i think he'd find out about them.

your body was flushed against thomas' as you laid on top of your soft comforter, quiet, heavy breaths leaving your lips.

"are you sure you locked the door?" you asked nervously, wrapping a hand around his bicep.

"do you think i'm an idiot?" he asked, the corners his eyes creasing.

"i just don't want anyone to see us," your voice shook for all the wrong reasons.

"they won't," he mumbled, his thumb coming up to your lip. "now, where were we?"

the heat between your legs was almost unbearable at his words, and the look in his eyes certainly didn't help. neither did the tattoo near his collarbone, or the chain around his neck.

"god, i need you to touch me, thom," your back arched as you whined.

you were fully clothed, him shirtless, which only drove you further to insanity. his body was a blessing and you were grateful to have him all to yourself.

"be patient, mon amour," he tutted. "we'll get there."

his lips locked with yours and you moaned, cupping his cheek to bring him closer. he tasted like the mango chapstick that had previously been on your lips, and it was heaven.

he let out a sigh of content as you wrapped your leg around his torso, pulling him down against your crotch. his hips moved at a rhythmic pace right against your clit, causing you to lose your focus as you struggled to kiss back.

"mh— thom," you mumbled against his lips. "i need you."

a hand made its way into your hair, deepening the kiss. "if i take you, we might get caught. think you can be quiet for me?"

you nodded eagerly. "i'll be good, i promise."

his breath fanned against your face. "i don't know. maybe we shouldn't go further? not right now—"

"no, thom, please. you don't understand, i need you now."

"what if we get caught?"

"you're really turning me off right now," you huffed impatiently.

he rolled his eyes. "i'm being realistic."

"i was the one who asked you earlier and you said you locked the door so what's the big deal now?"

"earlier, i was blinded by lust—"

"are you not anymore?" you cut him off.

"no, i am," he gave you a small, toothy smile. "but i don't want that to lead to something bad—"

right as those words left his mouth, your door bursted open. heavy footsteps quickly made their way into your room, not even giving you both the chance to act casual.

"y/n— what the fuck?" brendan's eyes met thomas' and they widened as he stopped in his tracks.

thomas scrambled off of you and shot up to his feet. "it's not what it—"

"shut the fuck up," your dad's nostrils flared angrily. "why the fuck are you on top of my daughter?"

"well, technically i'm not on top of her anymore—"

"thomas fucking bordeleau, i'll rip your body apart limb by limb if you don't tell me why the hell you were touching my daughter."

thomas swallowed loudly, full of fear for the first time in his life. he felt his heart in his throat.

"dad, it wasn't his idea," you shook your head. "i wanted it, please don't get mad at him."

"y/n, i don't want to hear another word from you."

"but dad—"

he cut you off with a glare, tears welling up in your eyes. "enough. not another word."

"why in the world would you think it would be okay for you to fuck my best friend? he's forty fucking years old!" he shouted, making you flinch.

tears fell from your eyes but you remained quiet like he demanded.

"don't yell at her—"

"bullshit," he cut thomas off. "i can't even think straight, i don't know what the fuck to say to you guys but you're in deep shit, y/n."

"it's not her fault," thomas defended. "i'm the older one, blame me."

"it takes two to fuck, thomas," he spat.

"stay in your room," he said to you before clenching his jaw at thomas. "you're coming with me."

#thomas bordeleau #brendan brisson #dbf!thomas #dbf!bords #dad!briss #dad!brendan #thomas bordeleau x reader #thomas bordeleau blurb #dbf!thomas x reader #thomas bordeleau imagine #dbf!thomas blurb

[lolotheparagon]

Has any of the ponies met the Arkham Knight? If so how did that go?

Arkham Knight/Red Hood: So let me get this straight. You little aliens are adopted by the Scarecrow?

Ponies: Yep!

Red Hood: And he's a good, attending father?

Ponies: Yep!

Red Hood: ...We're still talking about Crane, right?

Sweetie Belle: Well, duh!

Pinkie Pie: How did you know him, sir?

Red Hood: I used to be his second in command

Starsong: What does that mean?

Cheerilee: A second in command is a person who acts as a second authority to the head commander/chief officer. Hence the phrase "in command"

Red Hood: I was more of a sidekick, honestly.

Scootaloo: Woah, mister, you must have loads of stories about Mr Crow!

Red Hood: Yep, but none of them are flattering.

Scootaloo: Why not?

Red Hood: Trust me, from my experience. Scarecrow is a cold, ruthless cynical man who doesnt care about anyone. He wants to inspire fear and hatred to everyone unfortunate enough to be in his radar.

Toola Roola: Well, that last bit's true. He is a scarecrow after all.

Red Hood: (wait does these kids seriously think he's a scarecrow?)

Scootaloo: But that first bit's not true! He cares about us!

Red Hood: Cos he sees you guys as blank slates. He wanted to mold you guys into his image.

(Looks at the pastel ponies)

Red Hood: Which, by the looks of you all, I don't think is gonna happen. Like ever

Rainbow Dash: Phew! Thats a relief! I'd die before Id wear any icky dingy cloaks.

Scootaloo: Seriously, Mr Hood. Mr Crow is such a cool guy. He's powerful, scary and he loves my knack for causing chaos, and thats true Im pretty good at smashing up stuff and beating up bad guys!

Cheerilee: Funny, I never saw you take down a thug before.

Scootaloo: Im working on some new moves okay?!

Rainbow Dash: Mr Hood, with all due respect. We understand where you're coming from and we know that Mr Crow isnt the nicest guy around. But we still love him

Toola Roola: Im pretty sure he likes us too. I mean, he did give us one wicked Halloween party this year and he was willing to drive around every Bobby Burger's joint in Gotham just to get Starsong her Disney Princess Laffy Meals toys. But sometimes he can be a real meanie. Like he doesn't do a lot of activities with us unless we tell him to.

Pinkie Pie: He certainly isnt the hugging type either.

Red Hood: Yeah, that's Crane for ya. Being a dad doesnt come naturally to him.

Pinkie Pie: So do you have any advice for helping us with Mr Crow's grumpiness and get him to lighten up a bit?

Red Hood: ...

(These kids have no idea their dad is a supervillain. In fact, I dont even think they know what the word "supervillain" means. Well, they look okay for kids being raised by the master of fear and they sure do love him. Urgh, I bet Crane's acting like a good dad to freak everyone out. Sounds like something he would do. Well, just in case, I'll give 'em some defense tips)

Well, he's an old man. Grumpiness is part of his nature. But if he gets too mean like say he doesn't want to get you another round of ice cream or doesn't want to play tea party...Here are all of Crane's weak spots. He's got a crippled leg so strike at the back of his left knee to knock him down. And make sure to stitch up his mouth if he's saying anything stupid. Like a zipper mouth sorta thing. Also he hates loud music so whatever you got on your phone, blast it. Also, throw him off a bridge for me.

Cheerilee: Wont that kill him?

Red Hood: Nah, dont worry, he's a scarecrow. He cant feel any pain. Straw body, remember?

Scootaloo: I knew he was a magic scarecrow!

Red Hood: Exactly! So whenever he pisses you guys off, just (under breath) Oh crap, I shouldnt sworn in front of them

Scootaloo: Haha that sounds funny! Piss off! Piss off!

(all the ponies join in saying pisses off while bouncing up and down)

Red Hood: Oh god, I've set them off now.