dialogue prompts
hi! I’m Ellis, I’m a college student that that apparently keeps landing myself in bizarre situations and I cope by making prompt lists out of them. they’re usually hilarious and great for short fics, so feel free to send me a number with a character/ship/dynamic, or even just a fandom that you think fits
“Is this about the fax machine? Because if it is, my vote is we put a bullet in it.”
“I don’t need to hear about any of your sex lives. I’m talking to you specifically.”
“Why are you all in the hallway? Is that a dog?”
“Do they remind you of someone?” “Yeah, me when I was that age, I was hoping you wouldn’t mention it.”
“I’m going to steal someone’s kneecaps.”
“Someone just barked at me in the grocery store parking lot.” “Go see who it is.” “You asshole.”
“Why are you standing like that?” “They’re autistic, leave them alone.”
“It’s been like three months. Why are you a different person?” “Catastrophic change and trauma, babe, don’t worry about it.”
“Every day my interests become more and more like a middle aged father’s.”
“Do you want to come build a chair?” “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Why do you talk so much about cannibalism in this class?” “Your guess is as good as mine.”
“Everyone gets excited about boobs!” “I honestly don’t think that’s true.”
“Do you need the heat pack more?” “I wasn’t going to bring it up, but you limped home, I think you need it more.”
“Some guy just mistook me for a cis man, this is the best thing that’s happened to me all week.”
“You went to Catholic school? I would have thought you’d gone to public school and then taken a hard left into satanism.”
“Did you have a Voltron phase?” “No, why?”
“You know how I would literally rather die than ask for help?”
“Do you have time for me to have a gender crisis on you or are you too busy?” “Oh, no, this is happening.”
“Dude, they took your door.” “Your door privileges have been revoked.” “What the fuck?”
“Oh my god, quit it with the mother henning.” “If we lose the kid I’m blaming you.”
“Do you have a reason or are you being a nasty cynic?”
“So he’s better than you.” “I’m okay with that.”
“Did you just call me to tell me the person who won Jeopardy! has my chronic illness?”
“I regret asking.” “Why would you ask an autistic person about their hyperfixation when you don’t want an in depth answer?”
“Insane question, but can I put you in hell?”
“If one more person gives you public recognition for a thing I think you’re going to set yourself on fire.”
“Holy shit, you’re like a vampire.” “In all seriousness, you should see someone about that, that’s not normal.”
“Did I just sleep for 16 hours?” “Roughly, yeah. How are you feeling?” “About how you’d expect.”
“Where are you? Oh you’re having floor time.”
“Your taste in men is seriously questionable. If you only want his dick I’m sure we can figure out something else.”
“You need to crash your car right now.”
“Don’t make me pull rank at 6 in the morning again, I’ll die.”
“Are you crocheting right now? God this is such a weird group of people.”
“I got called an anarchist again.” “By the same person as last time?” “Nope.”
“Are we going to talk about what happened back there?” “No, why, what happened?”
“My mom has apparently kissed more women than I have.”
“You goddamn whore!” “What happened?” “She lied to me!”
“Of all of us, I think you’re the most likely to be a vigilante. Like a journalist by day, crime fighting hero by night.” “Like Spider-Man?” “Exactly like Spider-Man!”
“What’s going on?” “There might be a squirrel in the building, let me get back to you.”
“Don’t flirt with me while I’m holding a knife.”
“So imagine you’re a bisexual woman and you want to go to a strip club.”
“You scare people.” “I’m literally the nicest person alive.” “I watched you yell at someone last week.” “And?”
“The group chat is rioting.” “Oh my god.”
“We’re stealing your dog. She’s ours now.”
“I’m going to use my powers of being everyone’s favorite to get out of this.”
“I don’t associate myself with my birth name because no one called me by that name growing up.” “Have you perhaps heard of therapy?”
“My professor thinks I need an emotional support bird.” “No, I know you need an emotional support bird.”
“Okay, so they’ve got some trauma they need to work through. What’s driving the rest of you?”
“I ended up with the straight up rainbow one. Maybe straight is the wrong word. Anywhom-”
“You met this man a week ago, what do you mean you’re in love with him?”
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I'm thinking about (fat) characters who are relentlessly kind and nice in the face of the bullshit they've faced and continue to suffer through. Azirophale, Martin Blackwood, Jane Crocker (I'm sure there are others, fat or not, but funny how many of them are fat) who neglect and overcome their own bitterness constantly for the sake of others.
Betrayed by so much of the things they believed in, the people around them, the circumstances they're trapped in, and especially by themselves. So riddled with doubt and insecurity even at the best of times. Unable to trust their own thoughts and feelings, taking on the blame for others when they were never at fault. Trained to be "pleasant."
Until they snap and just have to be a fucking bitch for just a moment.
And yet that's when people tend to like them more, isn't it? One of the things Crowley loves about Azirophale is how bitter and bitchy he can really be. Jon seems to like Martin more when he tells him off, gets [redacted] arrested. Dirk is an appreciator of Jane's bossyness (leadership).
Bitter bitter people who try so hard to be kind to others while deeply struggling to extend that kindness to themselves. They don't understand that they're bitter, they don't accept it. It doesn't make any sense, they are so nice! And there's one of the deepest betrayals because they just can't face their own bitterness. The carrot they've been told to care for and cherish has been a stick all this time.
They did everything they were told was right. The first, and worst of all: don't trust yourself.
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Welcome To My Blog You Goobers
Heya! I’m Bonz! Im Just another Goofy Artist looking to Ramble and yap about my intrests 🧍♀️
A little bit Of DNI/BYI!!
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⭐️ Proshippers please DNI at all costs. [Get help. /gen]
⭐️ Basic DNI criteria (P3dophillia, Z00ph, etc. )
Before you interact!!
⭐️ I am Tone Deaf, Using Tonetags when interacting Helps me understand more!
⭐️ I Am Hypersexual, And will occasionally make Innapropiate or unnecessary jokes (it’s also in my Humor in general) PLEASE note that this isn’t my fault and I apologise if I make you uncomfortable!!
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