#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization

[wonbineatsme]

: •̩̩͙ ໋ IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE •̩̩͙ ໋: - RI7ZE

RIIZE x fem!reader

Crack

SYNOPSIS: Boys’ reaction when you say you’re in love with someone - And that someone in question is them, but you decide to hide this part.

WARNINGS: This is just a hc, which means it doesn't match reality. I created the scenarios in my head :))

!! English is not my first language

WC! 0.8K

ᄀᄉᄀ SHOTARO: For me, Shotaro is very responsible and understandable. Even though it hurts to know that you are in love with someone else, I think Taro would react to this news in the most welcoming way possible, because above all you are his best friend. Maybe later he thinks he failed in some way, like he wasn't interesting enough for you, but he would try to push away those negative thoughts.

You both once promised that you would always be happy for each other's achievements. Shotaro will keep that promise, no matter who that person is, he will help you and make them feel welcome.

ᄀᄉᄀ EUNSEOK: There was no reaction, which made you a little upset, to say the least - Even though he is the person you like, in question.

You see, Eunseok isn't good at expressing his emotions. In fact, he never wanted to like you, he still refuses to believe that after so many years of friendship, his heart was stupid enough to fall in love. Not that the problem is you, you're perfect, but Eunseok is the rational type and to him all this shit doesn't make any sense.

He never thought that hearing from you that you are interested in someone else could cause so many feelings at once in him, so in the middle of all this confusion, Eunseok remained expressionless. Of course, your happiness is his happiness, but honestly? I think he'd be a little angry - Not at you, but at the bastard.

ᄀᄉᄀ SUNGCHAN: He would be the personification of the Lady Gaga meme “Brazil, I'm devastated”.

I know it doesn't make much sense, but for me Sungchan is the most intense of them all - Which means he reacts to situations in his life in a kind of… Dramatic way. He would be in a mix of “Tell me now the name of the son of a bitch who is stealing you from me” and “My girl is loving them for the first time, they grow up so fast :'))”

Yeah... With Sungchan it's always 8 or 80. He would be happy for you, but he couldn't help but feel jealous. He would make it clear that if you left him for the unfortunate man, he would beat the drum for the guy to leave you.

ᄀᄉᄀ WONBIN: My poor, Binnie :(( As much as he tries to pretend to be mysterious, Wonbin is sensitive. From the moment you opened your mouth, he would feel an existential void as great as if his pet had passed away.

He would literally be in mourning for a relationship that never even existed, too shaken to remember to be happy for you. Would call Anton destroyed and cry in the youngest's lap like a baby, not believing that he lost you to someone.

Would be a real show of tears and ice cream, but after a week he would apologize to you - Embarrassed - and be honest about his feelings.

I feel like Wonbin is the only one who would tell you the truth.

ᄀᄉᄀ SEUNGHAN: He would activate gossip mode, would scan all your social networks to find the bastard who wants to steal his place.

What do you mean you're in love with someone else? How bold! Well, now it's war. Seunghan only accepts losing to a guy better than him – Which is impossible, because he is perfect. He would only rest when he found the boy, all while pretending to be super calm with the news so you wouldn't suspect anything.

He would call the other boys for a debate, but would receive a lecture from Shotaro and a reality check from the others.

I love Seunghan, his reaction would definitely be the best ever.

ᄀᄉᄀ SOHEE: Wouldn't understand, like “How did this happen and I didn't even notice?”

Sohee knows ALL your friends, if you were seeing someone new, he would know. Based on this, he would start to think that you like one of the boys and classify them in order of proximity, coming to the conclusion that you might only be into Wonbin - After all, after him, Wonbin is the most intimate.

Sohee would go into crazy paranoia, looking for signs in your behavior, anything that would confirm his theory.

Behind the scenes, you would be laughing at this investigation of your best friend, knowing that it is wrong to have fun at the expense of his suffering. You swear you’ll tell him next week.

ᄀᄉᄀ ANTON: I don't know how Anton would react. At the same time that he gives off a baby vibe, the baby is also not a baby.

I feel like it would be something similar to Sungchan. He would feel a mix of emotions, between being sad that you weren't his and being jealous that you weren’t his. The only thing Anton would say is:

"But… What about me?"

You confess that Brachio's reactions still take you by surprise. You two have been best friends forever, but at this point he manages to be a mystery. Chanyoung appears to be dumb, but he knows very well what he wants and sometimes he's not afraid to express it – Like now.

Do you like another guy? Fine! But first you'll have to explain to him how you can fall in love with someone else with him there entirely for you.

You went to play and became a toy.

#riize #sungchan x reader #wonbin x reader #shotaro x reader #seunghan x reader #sohee x reader #anton x reader #eunseok x reader #riize scenarios #riize x reader

[aeide-thea]

still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni

like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!

#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp! #and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward #fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like. #but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine #and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them #is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization #and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing #ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them! #anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following #like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade #and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but. #these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another #and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it #and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up. #but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!! #and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh #not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us #so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities #like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually! #idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without #implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic? #anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper #of viciously constrained femininity #that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children #so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract #but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on #instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple #is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run! #anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.

[prefer-to-be-vilified]

I saw part of an interview with Jenna Ortega about Wednesday earlier today and she mentioned how she purposely portrayed Wednesday to be very intelligent but also quite socially naive in that she’s often not actively trying to make people dislike her and struggles to grasp exactly what she did that caused them to do so. Basically that although she’s fully embraced her status as a freak and social pariah she believes this to be solely the fault of the masses and not due to her lack of understanding what “appropriate” social behaviour is. And I just find it interesting that she made such a conscious decision to do that because it’s probably one of the leading reasons as to why Wednesday is often identified as autistic. As one of the most damning aspect’s of being autistic is experiencing people quickly deciding they don’t like you and/or that you’re weird after very little interaction and having no idea what you did to cause that reaction.

The scene where Enid leaves their dorm after what happened at the Gates mansion is a really good example of this. Because in Wednesday’s mind her and Enid were good, possibly even becoming close friends. She didn’t initially understand why Enid was leaving and why she was so mad at her. Yet once their argument is over and Enid had left we clearly see her being remorseful over what she did because Enid told her what she did wrong and how that made her feel like Wednesday had betrayed her. And I think that’s why their relationship is so sweet because not only does Enid seem to understand that Wednesday’s brash and morbid nature shouldn’t be taken offensively she also tells her when that attitude (intentional or not) is crossing a line. She makes it clear to Wednesday that what she did was wrong and tells her exactly why that is, not simply reacting negatively and assuming Wednesday’s actions were intentionally made with malicious intensions. Enid accepts Wednesday for who she is while not letting her away with being cruel and manipulative within their friendship and in exchange we see Wednesday begin to accommodate Enid into her life.

It’s not that Wednesday doesn’t want friends. It’s that she’s never had anyone bother to make the effort to understand her. Consequently experiencing sixteen years of people deciding she’s a freak from day one and ultimately concluding that everyone outside of her family’s not worth her time and that she’s better off alone. And I think that’s why I love Wednesday and Enid’s relationship so much. It’s the deeply implied significance of Enid being Wednesday’s first true friend woven throughout the storyline. Enid didn’t only fight the Hyde to save Wednesday she also fought all semester to be able to love her.

#wednesday #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #jenna ortega #wenclair #enid x wednesday #wednesday netflix #wednesday 2022 #autism #ptbv

[chloeangelic]

addressing the drama (with receipts)

I wanted to have my ducks in a row before speaking out instead of just responding; I’m not doing this to change anyone’s opinions - it’s really not possible change someone’s perception of me even if it’s based on falsehoods - but I need to do this so I know I’ve said and shown what needs to be shown, and people can do with it what they please. 

To the readers and writers who have blocked me, unfollowed me, and mutuals who have stopped talking to me over this - I’m really, really sad you didn’t come to me first and give me the opportunity to explain what was going on. I understand if you wanted to distance yourself from drama but I also need you to understand that this was not discourse-drama I willingly got myself into. This was a month of frequent harassment and slander that eventually turned into bullying by a group of people using false info, hiding behind side blogs and anons, and I hoped it would blow over but it never seemed to stop. With anons turned off for most of the last two months, people have gone to my friends’ inboxes instead to harass them about me (and insult them in the process), and I can’t do this anymore.

I feel so alienated and disliked in this community that I can’t go on the dash without feeling like I shouldn’t interact with anyone out of fear that they’ll get uncomfortable seeing me in their notifs. People keep saying they want the community to get better and then they jump on the bandwagon of vague posting and RBing without taking a second to verify the claims, clearly not realizing how much hurt it causes to perpetuate it. If you’re reading this, I  hope your name isn't the next one they pull out of the hat when they want someone new to push off the platform. 

Explanations, timelines and receipts below. 

-

For anyone waiting for an explanation regarding the posts and anons about me that have circulated for weeks, or waiting for receipts proving or disproving that I’m a mean girl who spends my time talking shit, here you go. I am so beyond hurt, I don’t even know what to say. I’m floored, I’m so disappointed in this community and I’m so sad. In the last two weeks, I stayed up until 4am one night receiving screenshots of posts and anons about me, I cried, I tried to understand why this has happened to me, and I have sat here day after day with no answers. 

If you think I’m being melodramatic, try losing a quarter of your mutuals and having a bunch of people block you when you’ve had either no interaction with them or they’ve all been positive, and see how that feels, on top of constant rumors about you being a terrible person when you know you’ve barely had any negative interactions with anyone on the platform. I can’t be on tumblr any longer without exonerating myself and putting it out there that all of this has been one gigantic mess based on lies about me, seemingly compounded by grievances people have against Gracie (some one whose personal conversations have nothing to do with me). Either I do this, or I log out forever and only post on ao3, cause I feel like the fucking grim reaper here. Posts about me being an awful person are still circulating, despite the original post being deleted and the follow up stating that the OP has talked to me and they have apologized.

I’m not naming names in this. I will be using person A/B/C/D to make it less confusing. I’ve removed identifying information from the screenshots because even though I’m hurt by these people, I know that they will get dogpiled and harassed if I identify them, and I want it all to stop. Several have apologized to me and I have accepted. 

Sometime in December, rumors started circulating that there was a “big/elite writers discord” where they talked shit about small writers (I’m not in any discords specifically for writers and I have never heard of such a server). At about the same time, person A - someone who was very active in my own, now-deleted discord server, started frequently vagueposting about me, calling me a mean girl and, intentionally or not, made it seem like I was part of this “elite group of writers”. This is someone who I have never had a negative interaction with and who seemingly out of nowhere decided that I call myself elite and I’m a terrible person. 

Person B had some grievances with myself, Iris, and Gracie it seemed, so they went to person C and accused us of talking shit in our voice chats. I assume person A and B have talked about me at some point and validated each other’s claims, but I can't know that for sure. Person B messaged me from a burner account and apologized, then seemingly deleted the account after I responded.

Gracie frequently posted about us three chatting, and although I understand this might have felt alienating to some, many writers are open about having group chats with each other. All we did was write, edit, and Gracie sometimes made memes. We talked about non-fic stuff often, and when Gracie had an issue with other writers and she was upset, we talked about it. That’s what friends do. She knows that I believe those situations were handled poorly. One of those situations came to light recently - I had a very pleasant conversation with the writer involved, and we are still in touch.

I have spoken to person C, who posted the most “popular” smear post about me and some of my friends. They retracted their statements and profusely apologized to us, admitting it was based on stuff they heard from person B, showing me screenshots of the conversation. However, their original posts are still circulating through reblogs despite being deleted from their account. 

Person D also posted about me and my friends, however their post was sort of ridiculous, accusing me of spending more time replying to anons than writing. I found this funny, but the way they slut shamed my friend was absolutely not humorous, and dragging a random writer in to criticize them was a strange attempt at adding fuel to the fire. 

-

And for the receipts, 

I blocked person A after seeing a handful of vague posts clearly about me, and after they interacted with every single rude anon posted about me that I saw. I think that’s reasonable, no? I’m not gonna post screenshots of their posts cause I honestly just don’t want to look at them again, they make me feel kind of sick if I'm honest, but if anyone doesn’t believe me, they are welcome to DM me and I will send. 

Person B messaged me, admitted to partaking in this mess, and apologized. This is part of a LONG message:

Person C apologized over message and called me on discord. We had a conversation clearing things up, they deleted their posts and wrote a public apology. 

If you need any proof that person B’s claims were, in fact, baseless, look at this exchange between person B and person C after person C had cleared things up with me.

Person D honestly just creeps me out, cause what the fuck is this? Fine if you don’t like me based on my writing or my persona on here but… Why the witch hunt? 

ETA: Person C asked person D to take down their post and they never responded. This was sent prior to that, I know the full context, I just thought this specific part was worth sharing to show how vile some people allow themselves to be behind burner accounts.

What kind of behavior is this? This was from a sideblog, and I don't know what their main account is. It creeps me the fuck out knowing this person is lurking somewhere in the community.

I have hated every moment of this. None of this has been fun for me. This has completely fucked up my motivation to write and my enjoyment of it, it has made me anxious, it has messed with my self esteem, and it has made me want to log out of Tumblr and not come back. 

Please, I beg, if you have an issue with me, just come to me and I promise I will have a conversation with you. You can’t tell people’s tone over anon and I don’t think that’s a good way to have a conversation, especially one about something that should be solved in private, so they remain off, but my DM’s are open. 

I'm so sick of seeing vagueposts and trying to decipher if they're about me. Having to do that a bunch of times messes with your head.

I'm not sure what to do moving forward, but I needed to say my piece. I don't want to talk about this again, I want to put this behind me. I seriously hope this doesn't wreck my last remaining want to share my writing on here.

Thanks again to everywhere who has supported me in my DMs and comments, you mean the world to me 🤍🤍🤍 And if you found yourself duped by all this but change your opinion on me now or eventually, I won't hold a grudge, and I'm happy to speak again and pick up where we left off.

[saturnsbabyboii]

💮Random Astro Notes, Answering Questions and a lil Rant💮

🪷The house that Saturn resides in can tell us what items we have been more careful and gentle with. To name a few, people with Saturn in 3rd house may have their books degrade faster, and their phones break often. Saturn in 4th need to be careful with their furniture, photos, kitchen, and even their entire home. Saturn in 7th may lose or damage their jewelry. Saturn in 11th may electronics break and malfunction.

🪷The house that Scorpio and Pluto reside in gives us some insight into how/where we are mistreated, misunderstood, taken advantage of, and perhaps even abused. However, it’s also where you’ll eventually come on top. If you thought Saturian karma doesn’t play then wait until you see Plutonian karma. Unlike Saturn, it is public and done indirectly. Because it’s the house of death (symbolically more than literally) and transformation, Pluto works slowly but on a large scale. Just like tectonic plates, they're slow and great. It may very well (especially for Scorpio) happen after your death or in a different lifetime. 

🪷The Pisces paradox of being obsessed with yourself and taking pictures 24/7 and also desiring to escape your mortal flesh

🪷Side bar but I love how the sign of most season winners and of miss congeniality on Ruapul Drag Race is Taurus followed by Libra. It makes for Venusians to dominate a beauty competition show.

🪷Leo and Libra placements are obsessed with having an aesthetic. They drown themselves in whatever they find beautiful, and they do it well.

🪷I never understood the obsession with spouse, wealth, fame, and indicators in the chart. To me personally, when it comes to these subjects is that if you aren't actively trying to have or working in whichever way that suits you and seems the most effective, you won't attain it. How are you getting anything without putting an effort into it?

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Questions Asked:

🌸@brielledoesastrology thank you for the message, but I don't want to tell people about my chart 😅. I like to be as impartial as I can when it comes to doing astrology. I do it to help people and for fun not for fame or any gratification. It may seem dramatic but I swear it's easier when people don't know 😭

🌸 @spixcyy "Can I ask if you're gay?"

It's giving (Yes, I am very colorful and zesty)

🌸 Question from @iproposedtoyomamaandshesaidyes: “Heyy wassup bro how’s everything? I have Chiron in Leo is that a good placement?” 

Heyy, I am good thank you and I hope you’re healthy and happy. Well, it depends on what we mean by “good”. In terms of the role of Chiron in Leo’s role in your trauma and healing. 

Here are some of my interpretations of Chiron in Leo:

Sensitivity to your sense of person

Having limited self expression or authenticity (The house Chiron resides in can indicate where, how, and in some cases by whom.)

Being forced into the collective and not allowed to have a sense of independence

Individuality and unbecoming is a major life themes/struggles (regardless of the house)

Problems with self esteem, courage, vitality, creativity, and originality

Having a hard time accepting your possibilities and fearing success

Fear of disappointing role model/guide 

Pressure from an early age for living a prodigy

Having to play a “role” or a character for a large portion of your early years

Trouble feeling that you do not have a central purpose or reason for existing

Difficulty understanding what it is you are ‘supposed’ to be doing with your life, yet having an overwhelming sense that you are supposed to be doing something.

Excessive rebellion or conformity 

Healing and Moving on:

Learning to be content

Finding yourself as you move along life

Accepting that you won’t find instant solutions and results

Allowing yourself to grow 

Forgiving yourself for being the person you were and needed to be

Helping others embrace their qualities (especially those that are viewed negatively by society) will help accept yourself

Leading with love and compassion, not detachment

As Chiron is the great healer that can’t heal his wound, your life purpose is:

To lead by example

Break the mold

Be the new “normal”

Perseverance

Act as a leader of the collective rather than be part of the group

Depending on the themes of the house Chiron resides in, you’ll work as a great motivator and healer in that aspect of life.

Hope this was of any help and thank you for your question.

🌸 @astro-lab asked :” So what is “the other Lilith” that comes with every chart? Which one is more relevant? How are they related?”

There are four asteroids that are part of Lilith. 

- First, we have the Black Moon Lilith or Mean Lilith (h12), which is the most commonly used and referred to when people say “Lilith”. This is the one that is usually used in birth chart tools you find online.

The others are Asteroid Lilith (1181), True/Osculating Lilith (h13), and lastly, we have Dark Moon Lilith/ Waldemath Black Moon (h58).

Mean Lilith uses the average orbit of the theoretical Black Moon. This is why she is called Mean Lilith. “Mean” refers to the average, not her temperament. For True Lilith, her orbit oscillates or interchanges constantly. This Lilith uses the actual, real orbit of the Black Moon rather than the average in comparison. As for Dark Moon Lilith, some people have claimed to have seen this Moon, although its existence is debatable. Asteroid Lilith is the only Lilith that is an actual astronomical body.

In terms of their relevancy and importance depends on what areas of life are you looking to get insight from. Like other asteroids, they can shed light on things we tend to overlook. However, when it comes to Lilith, in general, these are things that we feel but never understand period. 

The Mean Lilith is widely used because it takes the average orbit of Lilith and its mystic influence astrologically. In the birth chart, it represents the unconscious mirages that we create to protect our most vulnerable parts and deepest fears. Where we tend to be mistreated the most as Lilith had been and how can we fall victim to others but also heal, transform, and regain that power.

True Lilith in contrast is what we might now refer to as “your villain origin story”. This is where we find ourselves pushing the boundaries of ourselves and others. Our darker instincts and desires. 

Asteroid Lilith is where and how we embody Lilith through the chart and in our everyday life.

I hope I was able to explain it well but thank you so much for your question 💕

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That's it, thank you for the questions and for reading.

Adios PUTAAASSSS

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #lilith #mean lilith #true lilith #chiron #chiron in leo

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: Could we see how the Re8 ladies would comfort their s/o after a bad day/when they're feeling down please?

Yeah! We all need some time with the ladies to comfort us tbh. Let’s get into it!

Alcina:

Alcina knows immediately when you’ve had a bad day. The exuberance in your eyes turns dull and listless.

She gently asks you what happened and listens to what you have to say.

She doesn’t tell you what to do, she just offers agreements and validation.

She holds you on her lap and whispers gentle reassurances.

Sometimes you fall asleep from this, but other times… Just being near Alcina makes you want to release your pent up frustration. In the bedroom. (Hehe).

Alcina is the perfect person to offer comfort. She only gives advice when you ask for it and is always on your side.

Donna:

Donna is so sweet. When you’ve had a bad day, she quietly offers you tea and snacks.

She doesn’t want to overwhelm you, so she asks if you need some time alone to process or if you would like to chat with her.

You always want her to stay, though. Donna is a great listener. She understands what you need a bit better than you do sometimes.

She is an empath. She can instantly feel when you are upset.

She gives you lots of snuggles and talking with her makes you feel a lot better.

Donna is your biggest supporter. It’s nice to know how much she loves you after you’ve had a hard day.

Miranda:

Miranda knows how frustrating a bad day can be. She’s had a lot of experience with them.

Miranda sits you down and wraps you in her warm wings. The softness makes you feel so safe.

She runs her fingers through your hair as you tell her what happened and gently presses kisses to the side of your face.

Sometimes, Miranda makes a comment (Which wasn’t meant to be funny) that makes you burst out laughing. Miranda at least takes satisfaction in knowing that she was able to bring a smile to your face.

Miranda cooks you whatever you want and does an activity with you like putting a puzzle together, going for a walk… Kissing. Well, you get the idea ;)

Bela:

Bela has become very skilled at learning how to relax after a hard day.

She teaches you how to use coping skills and gives you insight into how they work for her.

Honestly though, a good hug from Bela usually helps get the job done.

Bela is so intuitive. Often, she knows how you’re feeling before you tell her.

Listening to Bela read is one of your favorite things. Your frustration melts away at the sound of her voice.

Bela loves you and takes the time to talk with you and let you get out your anger and frustration. She’s so patient.

Cassandra:

Cass has a few different ways of helping you after a hard day.

She gives the best cuddles. Feeling her warm body lie on top of you soothes your frazzled nerves. Much like a weighted blanket does.

Her other ideas revolve around getting you moving. Sometimes, she’ll let you pick out a weapon from her collection and teach you how to use it (Outside, of course. Alcina’s rules.)

If none of those help, Cass’s Hail Mary is sex. It’s how she expresses herself best. She loves when you get feral and release your frustration. It’s basically a win for the both of you.

Daniela:

Dani likes to talk through her negative emotions. To her, it’s the best form of expression. She’s happy when you trust her and let her listen to what’s going on.

Dani also cheers you up by letting you pick a movie to watch, playing a game with you, or even cooking you something. She just wants you to forget your troubles for a while.

You and Dani like to do adult coloring books. It’s good for you both.

I think Dani is neurodivergent and mindful activities help calm her brain. You two also like to play with fidgets.

Dani is so caring. You’ve never felt more understood and loved.

Masterlist

#re8 #re8 village #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x y/n #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x y/n #cassandra dimitrescu #re8 shitpost #y/n is stupid #re8 incorrect quotes #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #mother miranda #mother miranda x reader #donna beneviento x reader #bela dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #daniela dimitrescu x reader

[turbulentscrawl]

Kinda going off of your whole process behind matchups, but what do you think the ideal personality would be for some of the survivors (Alice, Norton, Eli, Naib, or whoever else you choose!) Like, what would they want/need in a partner? I feel like some of them could work well with a variety of personality types tbh…

Anyways, keep up the good work!

I don't want to give EVERYTHING way 🤭so these are a bit short. I'm also not super familiar with Alice yet, so her's are a bit more superficial. Added Andrew!

Norton

-HAS to be with someone who respects his alone-time. He does better with someone who’s overall not that clingy, but at the very least you need to be able to let him go when he says he needs space. When he asks for that, it’s largely because he’s nervous about hurting you when he’s not fully in control of his emotions.

-He can’t be with someone rich. If he was, there’s a very good chance he doesn’t have genuine feelings for them. There is a small exception to this in the manor, because it’s something of an equalizer and money doesn’t help anyone here. But outside? Norton (Aus excluded) is always going to be a frugal thrift-er, and he’d be easily annoyed by someone who blows their money like it grows on trees.

-He does better with fellow introverts too. He can do group stuff sometimes, but he prefers intimate, not-noisy environments. He’s spent most of his life alone so big events, public activities, and big social groups just feel foreign to him.

Naib

-The main thing for Naib is you not being a nosey nancy. Especially outside of the manor, he needs a partner who isn’t going to ask questions about what he does for work. He brings home the bacon and that’s got to be enough for you.

-It’s also better for him to be with someone who doesn’t mind his paranoid protectiveness. As much as he wants you to stay out of his business, he wants to be IN yours. Not to be controlling, but so he’s always prepared to come running if something happens. He can live without this trait in a partner, but it will be a constant point of tension if you don’t like it.

-Otherwise, Naib can get along with just about anyone who treats him decently. He sees the appeal in several personality types.

Eli

-Eli also works with many different types of people! He’s a very patient and calm man who makes and effort to understand everyone’s actions and opinions. The only people I straight-up can’t see him being with are those who intentionally try to bring out negative emotions as tests or pranks. He enjoys some light teasing, but if you try to rile him up or make him jealous, he’s just going to disengage from you because that’s blatantly unkind. He wants to foster good-vibes only with his partner.

-He does very much like skinship, though, so it’s best if his partner likes both giving and receiving Physical Touch as a love language.

-He’s a lot more likely to be sweet on someone who’s kind and generous. And he’s very intuitive, so he knows when this is genuine…if you’re faking it to manipulate/get in his good graces.

Alice

-As a journalist, she needs a partner who can keep their mouth shut. Like, you’re more than welcome to gossip TO HER. But she literally pays her bills by being nosey, and exclusivity of information is part of that. So don’t share things you learn from her…but DO share things you learn from others with her.

-She’s brave to a fault. Like Alice sometimes genuinely does not sense danger sometimes, so she would appreciate a partner who looks out for her when she can’t do it herself.

Andrew

-You have to be open-minded and nonjudgemental. He’s been treated poorly most of his life because of how he looks, and if he sees you treating other people with similar backstories well, his opinion of you skyrockets. (even though he won’t make it known for some time.) If you gossip to him about other people’s superficial stuff, kiss your relationship goodbye.

-Does best with someone patient and intuitive. He’s defensive and has an attitude, sometimes even without meaning to. He requires a lot of grace as far as overlooking the shit he says. His verbal communication will improve with time, and he will apologize for any slipups as his trust in you grows, but you have to be able to wait out the road bumps first.

-He also does better with a fellow introvert than an extrovert. For friendships, it doesn’t matter, but for a romantic partner he has more insecurities and concerns about you leaving him for someone else. If you like to spend a lot of time with other people, like being the center of attention, or feed on other’s approval, Andrew will have a harder time reigning in those thoughts that he’s not important to you.

#idv x reader #identity v #andrew kreiss x reader #norton campbell x reader #naib subedar x reader #eli clark x reader #alice deross x reader #idv journalist #idv gravekeeper #idv seer #idv prospector #idv mercenary

[starryjkoo]

This might be a controversial opinion but some of y’all need to learn to pick your battles and stop chasing the validation of PJMs and JJKs. Who cares if JJKs are hyping some fictional friendship and writing fanfictions because Jungkook stood next to some random dude twice? Who cares if solo fanbases crop out and don’t post the whole picture (that no one should be reposting btw)? Who cares if PJMs and JJKs don’t acknowledge their friendship? As long as they aren’t dragging Jimin or JK, or even overtly saying anything negative about their bond, literally why do some of you guys care what solos of all people think?

It’s odd to me that some jkkrs will go into solo spaces and then try to get them to acknowledge a member you know they hate and regularly drag. What are you expecting to happen? JJKs actually not mentioning or paying attention to JM is literally the best case scenario. I absolutely wish they would never look at him or talk about him or post anything about him ever again. I literally don’t care if they think JK loves random solider #2 or Mingyu or an inanimate object more than he loves JM and neither should you. They are NEVER going to acknowledge Jikook’s friendship, so stop expecting them to. That is literally one of the least offensive things I’ve seen them do this week alone and it doesn’t actually hurt Jimin or JK, it’s just annoying.

100% make fun of them in your own spaces for being so lame and immature about Jikook enlisting together, they ARE super weird for hyping up this random friendship they suddenly invented (and yes I know they were likely doing it on purpose), it IS really frustrating and sad how dismissive so many people are about Jikook -- but I still don’t understand what some jkkrs were expecting. I sincerely hope that whenever the Jikook travel show drops they keep cropping them out and pretending they’re besties with random bartenders and camera men because the alternative is them dragging JM and JK and their entire bond nonstop. Solos are NEVER going to acknowledge their friendship and I wonder why some jkkrs seem to want them to so bad? You are CHOOSING to go into their spaces and be annoyed that these people who call JM slurs and animal names on the regular don’t want to acknowledge his friendship with JK - and some of you are literally antagonizing these people you KNOW have no morals over something like this.

This whole issue snowballed because so many people are bored and miserable right now and tkkrs especially are looking for a fight ever since Jikook enlisted together (or honestly probably since Tokyo). I see how jkkrs can make an innocent post and get jumped and tkkrs can say the most heinous shit about JM and jkk imaginable and get away with it -- but if you’re active online you should know how it is and learn to pick your battles if you actually care about the people you stan. There was no reason for JM or JK to get dragged over something like this.

Anyways this isn’t the end of the world or anything, but I did watch this whole unnecessary drama unfold and opened my twitter account this morning to see report accounts STILL trying to clean it up, so I wanted to rant a bit. I’m sure the Jikook show will unleash the most heinous discourse imaginable so I’m saving my energy for that. Obviously people can do whatever they want, and I’m not saying jkkrs shouldn’t rant or be upset about it in their own spaces, I was just surprised by some of the reactions. Jikook enlisting together makes it obvious to anyone with a brain how close they are, that’s why the people who hate them are being especially weird and petty and obnoxious. JJKs were writing about how JK tattooed ARMY on his knuckles because he knows ARMYs hurt him or whatever just the other day so idk why some jkkrs were expecting them to suddenly celebrate his friendship with JM who they literally hate more than anyone else.

#jikook #sorry to bring twitter discourse here #again 😣 #but every now and then #i need a good rant #because i wasn't seeing enough people calling this out #and if it doesn't apply to you #it doesn't apply to you #i know it's not all or even most #but enough i wanted to make a point #discourse

[viviennelamb]

If you're a real artist of any kind, never read opinions from non-artists or people who haven’t taken any risks in their lives. Remember, you're not a feedback reader, you're making people like you feel less alone and perfecting your craft and process. When it comes to your art, think of this and nothing else.

The ordinary person doesn't know what devotion is like because their brains aren't even 1% functional.

They're not full nor complex people either, they're an ego programmed to please others so they can fit in. Uncreative people target anybody different from them. This is why they’re into politics and activism and can’t stand that anybody thinks differently than them. This is the Ego's nature.

I was there at some point too and it was repressive, but now I'm free. Those who aren't free judge because they're prisoners of their own minds. always remain aware of envy and the crabs in a bucket mentality. Doesn’t matter if they’re race, gender or sexuality liberationists, they are against you if you’re a real person and will hate you for being free without needing their help.

I know a lot of the people reading this are looking to break through their mental barriers and I must tell you the obvious... life is a millisecond in cosmic time and you must act quickly on the opportunities presented to you.

Nobody is rewarded for being "the most liked by egos.” When you die, you need to leave something that somebody can unearth and feel like they hit the jackpot to read, listen and look at and cherish for the rest of their lives.

There's no time for preoccupation with what zombies think. If you have time to worry, you need to add more work into your schedule (all real work is Spiritual, everybody else is just a busy body).

Successful people are too busy winning, or at least learning how to win, to judge people who are focused on their own craft. If you see somebody doing them but you’re judging instead of being inspired, you’re average and always will be until you decide to go for what you’re most scared to do.

Play your role to the fullest and you'll stop being depressed regardless of what the world shows you. When you're doing all that you can, you'll be lifted out of your depression. Most people are long-term severe melancholics because they’re not creating, but believe they're well and project that depression unto those who are sane and healthy.

Since being a depressive is normal, those who have the drive to do what they love everyday, regardless of what anybody has to say about it, are deemed unwell because it's not socially acceptable to serve your soul. Everybody wants you to be their social slave instead.

Beauty isn't balanced or normal, it's extreme and rare.

You keep daydreaming and thinking "if only I could..." you can! The second you decide to go for what you want, everything becomes available to you. You don't have to plan, just make the vow and act immediately and once you iterate and record what works and what doesn't, you're making progress.

If you want a shortcut, find a mentor. The more you stay in the freeze state nothing happens. Your conscious mind cannot comprehend "how," so forget attempting to understand or map out the trajectory of your life and just act.

Even if you're an aspiring artist, stop reading stuff you can't relate to, or negative people who judge others for stepping out of the box because that affects your mental health and therefore your art, even when it's not directed at you.

That fear they meant to direct at others doesn’t actually affect the supposed recipient, but the individual saying it as well as their peers. Now their peers are secretly scared to be open with somebody they thought they trusted.

By the way, the highest art is the Art of Self-Mastery. Once you take back full control of your mind, senses and body, you're well on the path to achieving the purpose of life. Even better if you share the process of achieving your purpose. Don't wait until everything is perfect.

Sure, people will think they know you even though you only share 0.01% of your life, but at the end of the day, you're stopping yourself from doing what you're meant to do. Any obstacles you face is a test to show yourself how much you really want something. Think of these obstacles as checkpoints.

Once you get going, you will get real life checks to show you how strong you've gotten and how much you've improved in your role/craft. Stay locked in regardless.

The vast majority are extremely mentally unwell because they don't create or share anything that brings light into other people's lives. That stagnancy, as well as their hatred of the soul is the death of the mind.

Never listen to a dabbler who only creates once a month even worse, once a year, tell you anything about your creation. Just nod and smile because you're listening to an opinionated slave.

Remember, the only thing the ordinary person produces daily is an orgasm and poop. It would take the fragile and mindless a month to write a post like this, same with the art you're driven about, but they will judge and dissect what you do when they haven't done anything, ever. They don't have the discipline to write and release something in the same day because they're too busy arguing and gossiping about what a random thinks.

Only intake art and perspectives from people who are utterly and crazily obsessed and then you'll feel like your heart is finally waking up, which is what happened to me. Only then will you reach that point of being unable to feign lukewarmness and soullessness anymore.

Once you begin to exit mediocrity, you will see people's hatred toward you (which is really toward themselves) leaking out as false concern, fighting, and creating dossiers on strangers yet this person doesn't even keep a daily journal of their own thoughts. These individuals exist for you. They're waiting for you because their life consists of talking about others, so give them something to talk about.

When an individual can't be honest and haplessly spends their life energy, they become afflicted with loneliness, anxiety, and a chaotic mind regardless of how many bodies they pile around them and how much validation they get. Most people are unskilled, emotionally, and socially retarded for this reason.

When I read stuff from those individuals in particular I'm severely underwhelmed... it's all misinformation about other people's lives and it's not even at least entertaining. I’m looking for anything real from them and there’s nothing but there’s nothing but race policing and sexual harassment.

They don't know what it's like to strive for something bigger than personal comfort and social validation. When their useless life ends, all that will be left behind of their existence is documentation of their sex-addiction, their list of diagnosed mental illnesses, ideology fights, and gossip.

Also, the people who say they wish they could meet certain artists are all lying. They would've been part of the crowd who judged them if they lived during the same time, especially the ones who pride themselves on being conformists whose best accomplishment is getting a girlfriend.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Trust Me

Summary: When the reader wakes up in what was meant to be her grave, she doesn’t want to trust anyone, especially the charming cop that found her...

Pairing: Beau Arlen x reader

Word Count: 3,300ish

Warnings: language, attempted murder, injury, frightening situations

A/N: Something a wee bit creepy and fluffy for Halloween. Also my first Beau Arlen fic! Enjoy!

_______

You inhaled sharply, immediately aware of the cold clinging to your skin. Pain radiated through your body, eyes open but trying to take in too much at once. They caught the glint of a badge and you shot your body backwards, sliding against plastic. Panic crept through your veins as you realized half of your body was wrapped in it, covered with dead leaves.

You were surrounded by nearly ten people, all of them wide eyed with jaws dropped. You spun around on your bottom, screeching when a hand touched your shoulder. 

“Hey, hey, darlin’. You’re safe,” said a handsome man. Your eyes flicked down, a badge and gun on his hip. 

You wiped the gentle smile clean off his face when you tried to throw a punch only to realize your hands were bound behind you. People were talking, mind racing a million miles an hour as you tried to get your feet to move, run you far, far away.

“You’re safe,” said the man, pulling you into a bear hug you couldn’t even try to escape from. He pressed his lips to the top of your head, shushing you, whispering soft murmurs. “You’re safe, honey. Not gonna let anything bad happen to you, okay?”

You tried to jerk away, a scream wanting to climb out of your throat, only stopping when you realized how painful it was. Whatever energy you had depleted quickly, your face falling to the crook of the man’s neck.

“Send the coroner’s office away and someone get me an ambulance now,” said the man faintly, every frayed nerve in your body collapsing at once. “Fuck it, give me an escort to the hospital now.”

You woke up alone in a hospital room, bandages wrapped around your appendages. Your throat felt a hell of a lot better as you sat up, touching your face, neck, pinching your thigh. 

Alive. You were most definitely alive.

Which was interesting since you vaguely recalled being strangled to death. And waking in what you assumed was your grave. 

In front of an assload of cops.

Your body ached from the fight you’d lost but you forced your legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed the IV attached to your arm, ripping it out painfully. You got to the other side of the room where some sweats sat on a table when the door opened, a doctor in a white coat, two nurses in scrubs and the handsome man from before rushed in. Your eyes locked with the cops, his hand raising as the medical personnel stared at you.

“She’s okay. You’re okay, darlin’, aren’t ya?” he said. You lowered your gaze to his badge and then his gun before nodding slowly. “See? Just a bit jumpy, understandably so.”

“I want to leave,” you said, staring at the cop. He shared a look with the doctor. “Unless I am actively dying, I want to leave this hospital.”

“Is she okay to go?” asked the cop. You narrowed your eyes at him. He could play nice all he wanted but you knew exactly who he was and what he wanted.

“Her tests were negative but she needs to stay overnight to be safe,” said the doctor. 

“What tests?” you snapped. 

“You had no pulse when we found you or most likely, a very faint one,” said the cop, carefully stepping forward. “I’m Beau Arlen. Sheriff. Do you remember me?”

“From where I woke up in a shallow grave? Hard to forget,” you said, turning to the doctor. “Is my heart okay?”

“Most likely but you really need to stay for observation and to ensure your neck doesn’t swell again,” he said. You touched a hand to the side, feeling the ache of a bruise. “Sheriff Arlen, perhaps you can wait to question Y/N?”

“How do you know who I am?” you asked. Beau raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve been missing for two days. Your face has been all over the news. Your father’s on his-”

With that news you took your chances and rushed the cop. You tried to slip past him, thankfully distracting him. As he tried to grab your shoulders, it left his holster open and you grabbed the gun, Beau backing off as soon as you had it in your hands and aimed square at his chest.

“Car keys,” you said. He lifted his chin, taking a careful step forward.

“Do you one better. You give me back the gun and I’ll take you wherever you want to go right now. No questions asked.” You shook your head, Beau cocking his head. “If I was involved in whatever it is you think I am, don’t you think I would have killed you when we were alone in my truck?”

“Did he bring me here by himself?” you asked. One of the nurses nodded, Beau holding out a hand. 

“Come on, darlin’. Now or never.” Your stomach flipped as you handed him back the gun. He shoved it back in the holster and to your surprise, he started to walk down the hall. “We ain’t got all day.”

You stared after him before catching up, swallowing as you followed him silently out a side door and into a beat up truck.

“Before I take you wherever it is you want me to, why don’t you tell me why you’re so fucking terrified of your father, who happens to aslo be a cop?” He started the car, watching your hand reach for the door. “He did this to you, didn’t he.”

“I can’t trust-” He took out the holster and sat it on the bench between us, nodding his head.

“You can keep that until you do trust me. Until then, let’s consider this protective custody with a twist.” 

“You’re weird,” you said, picking up the gun, leaving it aimed down at the floor. 

“Oh come on. Everyone likes a weird friend,” he said. You shut your eyes, flashing them open when you heard sirens. You slid down into the foot well and shoved the gun back on the bench towards him. He stared down at you as he put the gun away, a knowing look on his face. “See, you are also extremely weird. We’re two peas in a pod.”

“I’m fucking traumatized!” you said as loud as you dared. He frowned, nodding once.

“I know you are. I promise nothing bad will happen to you and I promise that I can’t be bought. When you’re ready to tell me your dad did this, I’ll go after him. Until then, I’ll keep you safe. Now considering you didn’t have much of a pulse a few hours ago I say first order of business is to get you somewhere you can rest. Deal?” You nodded slowly, Beau patting the seat. “Come up where it’s safer.”

“Not until we’re out of this parking lot.” He held up his hands and put the truck in reverse. “You know if you’re lying to me and you’re taking me anywhere I don’t like-”

“We both know you trust me or else you wouldn’t have given me my gun back. So don’t feel like you have to make threats. You should be dead. I already know you’re tough.” You closed your eyes, a gentle hand resting on your head. “We’ll get you someplace safe real soon, sweetie.”

You must have fallen asleep in the truck because when you woke up, you were in a bed in what looked like a camper. A very nice camper but still, it wasn’t what you were expecting. You sat up against the mountain of pillows behind you, surprised to find two wires slipping inside your hospital gown. To the left on the nightstand sat a small machine that was tracking your heart rate. It shot upright when the door opened, Beau smiling softly.

“You’re looking better,” he said, taking two steps in and setting some clothes down on the end of the bed. “These are my daughter’s clothes. I figured you wouldn’t mind getting out of that gown. I didn’t want to leave you on your own.”

“So you own a portable heart rate monitor just because?” He shrugged, setting a bottle of pills down on top of the clothes. “You went back to the hospital.”

“I sent a trusted officer to the hospital. The doctor said you need to take this every twelve hours so you don’t get an infection.”

“Awesome,” you said. He left you to change and ten minutes later, you’d worked up the courage to exit the room, spotting Beau outside on his porch. You ducked outside, Beau changed into a maroon long sleeve shirt and a dark gray flannel. “Interesting safe house.”

“Well when I made the move up here this land had a little hunting cabin but my daughter wouldn’t want to stay in there. The airstream is big enough for us two,” he said. He picked up an outdoor blanket from a chair and tucked it around your shoulders. “You like leftover lasagna?”

“I am kind of starving.”

“Well make yourself at home then. Bathroom is right next to the bedroom and you,” he said, pulling a chair over to a firepit that had a small bundle of flames going, “Can relax and decompress a bit. Dinner’ll be out soon.”

You sat down, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, watching him go back inside. 

“Y/N,” he said, pausing in the doorway. He looked over his shoulder and nodded. “I’m right here. No one’s going to bother you.”

“Okay,” you breathed out. You closed your eyes and tucked your feet up onto the chair. 

He’d keep you safe. He seemed smart and nice. You’d be okay with him.

You hoped.

“So,” said Beau after dinner, sitting back in his chair next to you. He sipped on his beer, watching the flames dance in the dark. “You want to tell me what happened? Sooner you do, sooner I can put whoever tried to kill you behind bars.”

Flashes of pain scattered through your mind, the inability to breath, the pounding of your heart. It’d hurt so much. It’d hurt so fucking much.

“He strangled me,” you said, looking down at your lap. “And I knew I was going to die the whole time. And...and I don’t know how I’m alive. I woke up in a grave today.”

“I can’t take away that fear or pain and I’m sorry, darlin’. I truly am. You got me good when you popped up like that earlier but damn, I was glad to see you alive. You’re strong so you survived. It’s how I know you’ll keep surviving long after this mess is cleared up,” said Beau. You raised your chin, meeting his green eyes. There was a gentleness about him you liked. Some men in this situation would be a tough guy, get overly protective. Yet he somehow was straddling that line between comforting and protecting with ease. 

You licked your lips, inhaling deeply. “Can you really take down another sheriff? One that’s been doing his job twenty years longer and has a lot more powerful friends than you?”

He pressed his lips into a thin line. “I’ll be honest. It’s not easy to get someone like that without blatantly obvious evidence of a crime. People turn on each other real quick in those situations though and I think we got that here.”

“What if the evidence would get those powerful friends in trouble too?” Beau parted his lips, a sad look settling into his skin. 

“When you woke up, you were scared of me because I was a cop. You thought I’d hurt you.”

“I called other cops for help. I thought I was safe with them. All they did was give me to my dad. As far as I’m concerned, they tried to kill me as much as he did.”

He nodded, taking a sip of beer. “Then we’ll get them too. I have to know, what is it that you found out or know that would make your dad try to kill you?”

You lowered your head and closed your eyes. “My phone is sitting in a train station locker. There’s videos on it. One of plans and papers and things. There’s copies of those papers in there. There’s a video too of my dad on the phone with someone discussing plans about moving drugs. He’s been selling seized ones out of evidence lock up. I told another cop, a family friend about it all. But he was in on it and then the two of them...they drove me far away from our town and thought they’d killed me. I have no idea how far this goes Beau but they will kill me and cover it up in a second. They didn’t hesitate to try and get rid of me. They want me dead and now.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “What’s going to happen is I’m going to send a pair of my very loyal officers to get that evidence while I get you into the station and officially put you in protective custody. Then-”

“Beau.” You stared him down as he sighed. “The more people I’m around, the more likely I am to wind up dead. Especially in a place full of people all wearing the same uniform.”

He was torn. He clearly wanted to bring you in but you weren’t going anywhere until he could guarantee it’d be safe and he clearly couldn’t right now.

“Then we stay here until we get word your dad and this other officer are in custody. But I need more details and a statement of what happened. Got it?”

“Whatever gets them behind bars is fine with me.”

You woke up in the middle of the night in Beau’s bed to him racing in the room. He was wearing a bulletproof sheriff’s vest with his name on it, his gun out by his side.

“What-”

He held a finger up to his lips, Beau pulling you out of bed in one swift motion. He tossed a pair of sneakers that were too small at you but you managed to cram your feet inside nevertheless. Silently, he opened the back window, keeping you right by his side. He slid out quickly, pausing only a beat before a hand appeared and you grabbed it, Beau pulling you through.

You were more noisy unfortunately and Beau instantly took off running into the woods with you before you could even turn your head to see who was around. After a few moments, he tugged you into the crook of a tree and pushed you down gently.

“Stay,” he whispered. You swallowed and stayed seated, Beau taking off with light footsteps. You covered your mouth when you realized how loudly you were breathing, body tense, waiting for something to happen.

Suddenly, a large noise erupted from the direction of Beau’s air streamer, a popping sound in the air. 

“Howdy sheriff,” said Beau loudly in the distance, a sharp edge to his voice. “I do mighty well appreciate you coming to my home in the dead of night like this. Going to make the conviction even more fun.”

Your dad didn’t say another word as you picked up on other footsteps in the woods, a flash of blue and red light scattering the treeline. You slowly stood, jumping when Beau rounded the tree.

“We got him and the other officer. Now, I distinctly recall telling you to stay down,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. You shrugged, Beau rolling his eyes with a smile. “You ready to go to the station now?”

“Yeah. I’m ready for this to be over with.”

“Sorry about the wait,” said Beau early the next morning. You’d fallen asleep on his small couch covered with an extra flannel he kept in his office, popping up when he walked in. He still had his vest on over his long sleeve, sleeves pushed up, and his hair appeared as if he’d run his hand through it only a million times. He walked over to his desk and sat against the edge of it, offering you a smile. “Well good news for you, they both tried to sell each other out and we have their full confessions. Neither one of them are getting out in their lifetimes.”

You closed your eyes and breathed deeply, letting a small smile form on your face. You nodded, slowly peeling your eyelids open, Beau looking you up and down. “Now what happens?”

“Now? You go back to the hospital and let them finish those tests, probably get in some kind of therapy for a bit and try to live the rest of your life. Easier said than done but I got faith in you, darlin’. You’ll be just fine.”

“I hope so,” you said. “I guess this means I should get out of your hair.”

He shook his head. “You were never in my hair, Y/N. Come on. I’ll give you a ride to the hospital.”

Two Months Later

“Well, well,” said Beau with a big smirk as he sat down next to you at the bar. “What are you doing in town?”

“Fresh start. I moved here officially. It’s peaceful when no one’s trying to kill you,” you said, Beau holding up two fingers and pointing at the beer you were drinking.

“I know about that. You doing okay?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, turning your body towards him.

“My therapist says I should try things to get me out of my comfort zone, rebuild confidence, that sort of thing.” You leaned in close and brushed your lips over his, pecking a soft, slow kiss on him. “You are super hot by the way and not because you saved me. You’re…kind. I like that. See, that’s normally something I never would have said or had the guts to do but-”

Beau cupped your cheek and pulled you back into the kiss, grinning hard throughout it, only letting you go when your drinks were set down.

“I like this therapist of yours,” he murmured. You grinned, Beau resting his elbow against the bar, putting his chin in his hand. “Give me your best pickup line.”

“My what?” you laughed.

“Your best pickup line. I need to see if our styles of humor are compatible, darlin’. Woo me,” he chuckled. You laughed and grabbed your beer bottle, taking a few steps away before spinning around and walking back over.

“You know handsome, I’d ask you to go to the movies with me but they don’t let you bring in snacks,” you said. He covered his hand with his mouth as he burst out laughing, keening forward in his seat as giggles wracked his body. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.”

“Wow. That was awful. And you totally passed,” he laughed. 

“Your turn,” you said as you sat, Beau raising his eyebrows. “Oh you don’t get this just cause you saved me and you’re pretty. As you would say, woo me.”

He cleared his throat and put on smoky bedroom eyes, licking his lips. “You know what my shirt’s made out of? Boyfriend material.”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, laughing and slapping his thigh. “That was so lame!”

“Yeah but you laughed,” he said. 

“I guess that means you passed too,” you said, lifting your beer. He clinked his bottle against yours, smiling as he brought the rim to his lips. “Want to go for two or nothing?”

“Worst pick up line pays for dinner?” he grinned.

“You’re on, Arlen.”

_______

A/N: Want more Beau x reader fics? Let me know!

#Beau Arlen x reader #beau x reader #big sky fanfiction #big sky #bean arlen #beau x you #beau arlen x you #beau arlen fanfiction #reader insert

[cryptcoop]

I know you’ve mentioned Moria as a woman failure type, where she especially tried to push away people she wants to love and also manipulates heavily to destroy herself. I’m actually in love with the ship of her and lifeweaver. The vibe is his voice line of “it’s not embarrassing if you’re shameless” where’s he’s kind for no reason and bluntly says she wrong and doesn’t back down but in a calmway? Where he can see right through her kinda way? So my interpretation is that she doesn’t know how to handle that truth and bluntness. Kinda like roots slowly enveloping her ? 

Yes yes yes you understand them completely. I like to think that when they started to like. Actually get kind of serious? She did her typical pushback, which usually works.. most people feel used and burned by her after.. but not Niran, he sees right through it and actively challenges her on these notions. I think it similarly happened when they were first learning about each other and he called her brilliant and she just assumed he was fucking with her. Moira is so used to people looking down on her work (and as a side note, I feel as though she usually speaks highly of other scientists even if they feel strongly negative of her work.. she gets that what she does is unsightly to most) that she thought he was going to treat her work like others do, but then he doubles down and is like no, you are brilliant, and I think that's kinda when the cogs start turning.. no one ever respects her work. Its something very foreign to Moira.. and it probably is very difficult navigating that for her.

[glade-constellation]

It might also have something to do with old Moon. Old Moon was Lunar’s first real brother, the first sibling who didn’t hit him, etc. He was with Lunar for Lunar’s whole life.

And New Moon just met Lunar. He isn’t the person who gave Lunar his first real taste of family. He isn’t the person Lunar shared a body with for months. He isn’t the person who took the time to remember exactly what level of Kingdom Hearts he was on before October. That person is dead.

And, more importantly, new Moon actively hates that person, and even exaggerates old Moon’s bad traits by going so far as to say he wouldn’t have cared about seeing Lunar die. Lunar has plenty of reason to hate new Moon.

These are all really good points. I especially like the last one, as it also rubbed me the wrong way when Moon said the old him wouldn’t have cared. Old Moon may have been a bad brother at times, but he didn’t hate his family. It’s shown many times over that he just wanted his family safe, no matter the cost. Old Moon would have been just as devastated of Lunar’s death as the New Moon would have been, had he known Lunar when it happened. He simply would have acted on that grief in a different way.

One thing I’ve learned from watching this show is that everyone is an unreliable narrator. Everyone has their own version of how the narrative goes, and they often don’t align with everyone else’s narrative. Hearing the story from word of mouth alone would never give you the full or correct story. You’re probably going to get a different story from each person, even if just slightly different.

If someone had never met Moon before his amnesia, but heard about him from Moon now, they would think he was a terrible person. We know that’s not entirely true because we’ve watched the show, we’ve seen how Moon was like, but just imagine someone’s first introduction to Old Moon being “he wouldn’t care if his brother died a horrific death by his abuser”. You would think he was a bad person, because that is a terrible thing to not care about.

If this truly is the reason why Lunar said he hates Moon, Lunar is in the same place a lot of the viewers are in right now. I recently saw a TikTok of someone complaining, saying the show was telling us stuff about the characters that was inaccurate. It’s not that these characters are trying to be inconsistent, it’s just that they all have different viewpoints as explained above.

Lunar is currently going through a lot right now. He was retraumatized, gained new traumas, died horrifically, and then learned he lost his brother during the months it took to return. It doesn’t matter Moon is still technically there, that wasn’t who Lunar met. He may not realize it, but he’s probably grieving. It’s totally valid in this situation. Sun grieved, is most likely still grieving, but we all know Sun pushes away any negative emotion he has. (I also feel Moon isn’t really allowing anyone to grieve, but that’s for later.) Lunar doesn’t. Even if he can’t currently feel or understand the emotions he’s feeling, he tends to feel his emotions wholeheartedly. That grief could definitely turn into anger at Moon for hating someone they called a brother. Especially because, as we all know, Moon hasn’t actually changed all that much. He’s definitely better in certain ways, but he’s not a complete new person. Lunar trying to grieve while being reminded of the person they’re grieving about could just make the situation worse.

The biggest thing I’m concerned of is that Lunar is going to turn all of his negative emotion on Moon. As someone who personally deals with emotional dissociation I can kind of understand why Lunar is acting the way he is. Not being able to really feel your own emotions will make you do crazy shit just to feel something. If they are able to feel that anger, even if they doesn’t realize they’re feeling it, they will latch onto it and keep doing things that make them angry just to feel something. That potentially means tensions between Lunar and Moon are about to get real bad.

Going to the comment I made earlier, I don’t feel Moon is allowing for anyone to grieve for his old self. Any time he’s brought up, Moon follows it up with a negative comment and turns the conversation. I get it. I really do. I understand why Moon is so upset in this situation. Everyone looks at you and sees something you personally hate and it just fuels the hatred. But Moon needs to step back and let the grief happen. If he starts pushing Lunar to try and see his old self as negative while Lunar is already so emotionally unstable, there will be push back. And it won’t be pretty if Lunar is still as emotionally attached to Old Moon as we think he is.

If Lunar’s comment about hating Moon is as serious as the fandom seems to think, we might have some pretty big family drama around the corner.

#Glade Gossip #tsams spoilers #tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tsams lunar #tsams moon #sorry if this was a long post or went on a tangent #I have a lot of feeling on this situation if it is as bad as it appears

[punkpandapatrixk]

📝Your Ideal Self-Concept—Timeless Tarot Pick A Card

…you’d better exhibit a persona that matches your personal power, babe🌟

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Pile 1 – High-Class Bad Bitch

your personal power – King of Wands Rx

You’re someone who’s been misunderstood a lot in life. Either because you’re too powerful or too unique. Whatever you do, people think you’re too much of everything they’re afraid of allowing themselves to become. And they’re quite jelly of that, you know. You embody a singularly unique identity they crave for themselves.

People preach ‘be yourself’ all the time but it’s all just cheap talk for the most part. It’s a broken affirmation they can never live up to. And here you are strutting your unique identity and passion for life like it’s nobody’s business. People think you’re insulting their cowardice when all you do is just breathe.

You’re not the problem, they are. Weaklings see fire and they want to put it out because they’re scared. But that’s never gonna happen (and you shouldn’t let that happen) because you are a cosmic engine. You came into this world carrying such potent fire because you’re meant to cleanse the world of weakling mindset. You’re meant to eradicate poverty mindset.

But who’s to say you aren’t compassionate even when you’re gung-ho?

your communication style – 6 of Cups

In spite of appearances, you’re someone who holds deep compassion for other people’s hardships. When you connect with someone else, you feel their emotions as you listen to their stories. You can feel other people’s pain and you’re the type that wants to cheer or motivate others. Sometimes you might even be too positive and want to shun negativity—and that’s when you come across as stern or unempathetic. But that’s just sometimes.

If there’s anything to fix, in a manner of speaking, it is that you don’t always put other people in your shoes. Being born with power in your character, you might not always understand why other people can’t seem to help themselves. You want to help in a way that could be seen as a bit aggressive sometimes… but that’s really because you’re trying to motivate your own inner child.

You see, sometimes people are pathetic because when they were growing up nobody ever believed in their innate goodness. And I think you just need this tiny reminder of how you’ve grown up as well—when nobody believed in your capabilities. But different from others, you’re strong. If this resonates, all you need to do is develop patience. You’re already compassionate and understanding, but patience is a different virtue.

what is your Art? – Page of Pentacles Rx

You’re someone who just has this ability to break conventions. Seriously, no matter how small that convention is. You break rules, delight in taboos, engage in controversial activities. You could even be the black sheep of a family, neighbourhood, society, or even nation. But what’s all that for?

For adding flavour to this drab world. What else you think? You’re colourful and you say and do things others are afraid to admit they want to emulate. Fuck that. You’re the perfect example of freedom. As long as you’re responsible and maintain your own safety, I think you can do whatever you want.

Your true Art in life is breathing in all the world has to offer. Sometimes the good, sometimes the bad. But by not being afraid to face challenges head on, you learn to balance your perspective on power and how it is used in human interactions. If you develop correctly, you won’t become the type of asshole that wants to exert power over others. And that in itself, is your contribution to the healing of your society.

Field of Focus🔻❤️

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Undercover Genius Inventor

your personal power – 10 of Wands Rx

You’re a whacko, admit it already. You’re just feigning normalcy. You know how to maintain a façade of someone boring, but you’re a born artist. You wear a polite monochrome mask but your Soul is made of colour and drama. Maybe for survival, you pretend to be dumb. But you and I know you’ve got this crazy keen analysis ability. You observe everything closely and notice other people’s likes and dislikes just by their behaviour. And then you adjust.

A chameleon, you’re a sly bitch that goes: ‘Bimbos are gonna rule the world.’ You just sit there and be pretty and act dumb and the world offers you melons. Little do they know, you’re a hard worker. You hustle with brilliant concepts when no one’s watching or expecting anything from you. You’re a true Artist of Life because the whole world is your stage/canvas/runway/what have you.

You’re not one to be tamed by other people’s demands and orders. You create your own T&C whilst pretending like you’re agreeing with what others are saying. But you’re getting under everyone’s skin. You’ve developed so much power purely from within yourself, maybe because you came from a past that had so many restrictions. Your biggest gift is your big brain, oh and, a sassy attitude towards Life.

your communication style – 5 of Pentacles

You keep your secrets close to your heart. You don’t even reveal how much you have. Whatever you show is just a portion of what you’re allowing others to see. In a way, there’s a lot of darkness surrounding the true nature of your force. And that’s intriguing to a lot of people. They want to know what makes you tick. And you guard yourself so well that you remain an exciting enigma.

More important still, because you’ve had a past that’s not so easy, you can instead easily connect with those who are struggling. You give realistic and practical advice that others can quickly grasp. It’s natural like that because you know the struggles of not having much. Some people can easily like you; but some could easily hate you for your power as well.

All in all though, for those that are on the same wavelength as you, you serve as a source of inspiration. There’s something mega unique and strong about your vibe that only those peeps can recognise. And they’ll want to emulate you. Some people might even worship you because you possess a special kind of sly charm when talking.

what is your Art? – 10 of Cups

Those who don’t know you may not recognise this right away, but you’re a loyal person. Yeah, you’re kinda guarded and enjoy flying solo like that; you’re also somewhat secretive, but your heart is actually very big. If only the world weren’t so dangerous you’d be so open with everyone and hug every person who’s hurting right now. Alas, the world ain’t like that.

Still, when you’ve become so much more developed than now, you’ll be a fount of healing for other Souls who are just as unique as you. You could have like a tribe or squad or sisterhood, and you act as the Goddess On Top that protects everyone’s wellbeing. Like you could even be overseeing other people’s development like a mentor. -Bro, are you in a cult or smt?-

There’s something quite parental about your vibe. And I think you’re meant to create a community of peaceful people whose focus is to have fun whilst being alive. Even by just doing your unique thing, as long as you’re not hurting people, you’re already contributing to the healing of this world~

Field of Focus🔻💙

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Technomancy World Leader

your personal power – 6 of Wands

You may have a chill and serene exterior, but anybody who takes a peek inside your Soul will be astounded by just how hot your ambitions are. Your Life has not been easy and the struggles you’ve met along the way have become a fuel for your desires to achieve greatness in this lifetime. I think you’re frustrated with the status quo. To some extent, you may even hate this world. You hate it so much you want to change it (hopefully for the better).

You are a unique Soul. Your energy signature is so original that you shine a colour that is singularly yours. It’s almost like you’ve been singled out by the Universe itself. Everywhere you go, you attract attention and command respect without even trying. You can’t even hide this charisma. The more you try to blend in the more solitary you appear to be. And there’s a purpose to that.

Most people on this Planet are boring and they try so hard to fit into their societies just for survival. As cowardly that can be, deep down this world yearns for eccentric individuals to serve as a source of inspiration. Cowardly-but-honest people just need some kind of validation for their own weirdness. But those who are dishonest are probably gonna hate you. But who cares about them? You just shine anyway~

your communication style – XV The Devil

Power motivator. Seducer. Divine Jokester. You have a weird way of speaking and your sense of humour is either dark or inappropriate. You like to shock people with taboo questions and aren’t afraid to mock political correctness. What’s the point of being fake polite when behind the mask everyone knows the world doesn’t get better by polite and comfortable conversations?

Yet at the same time, you’re not prone to anger outbursts. You collect yourself easily and can deliver your scandalous points of view calmly and with precision. Your intelligence is both empathetic and piercingly savage. When you open your mouth, you’re not just doing it for the sake of having arguments. Every word you say serves to slap the status quo in the freaking face.

You show the authorities their own stupidity and the idiotic ways they think about shit and go about saving the world. Nobody’s doing it right because everybody’s got all their priorities upside down. And you’re here to tell them to fuck off and get their shit straight. You may gain enemies, but those who vibe with you are probably gonna worship you. You are the Muse of the world’s rebels.

what is your Art? – XVI The Tower

So obvious. You’re here to bring down the old regime of the world’s powers. You’re here to break conventions. Dare I say, you’re meant to lead a rebellion against the psychos that are destroying this Planet. Your personal rebellion could involve: championing environmental movements, flipping the power abuse within family settings, empowering youth innovation, revamping the education system, breaking down cultural/political barriers, and so on and so on. Oh, and…

Bridging spiritual knowledge with technological ways of seeing things. You just have that natural aptitude to understand the more cosmic nature of the world and how energies play out in the physical. You’ll be sharing knowledge and perspectives that are so fresh yet so nostalgic—like, they just make sense but most people didn’t see them before you opened your mouth.

Quite honestly, I see peeps who have chosen Pile 3 are leaders of the new Age of Aquarius. You are harbingers of a soft revolution. I think many of you are gonna leave important legacies and your names will be remembered for hundreds of years to come. You have the power to leave a lasting impact on the world’s stage and make it a better place for future generations.

Field of Focus🔻💛

In a manner of speaking, this could hint at your ideal career~

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Feel free to support me on Patreon if you love this kind of content🍑I create stories and tarot readings that calm the mind & heal from within🍒

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

#Punk Panda Pick A Pic #pick a card #tarot pick a card #pick a card reading #pac #tarot pac #pac reading #astroblr #tarotblr #writblr #witchblr #tarot witch #witchcore #witchyvibes #faery witch #faery #punk aesthetic #solarpunk #cyberpunk #millennials #gen z #Youtube

[justalittlesolarpunk]

this is 2 questions, but they're both a little depressing, sorry

any tips for just keeping up hope? things just seem so awful as of late. ik bad things happen all the time, but it just seems like things are genocide on top of environmental collapse on top of genocide. how can you stay hopeful?

and any tips for enacting change as a minor? i don't have any income to spend on supporting causes, i'm not allowed to go to protests or rallies or anything of the like, i can't vote. i feel so useless. i know there has to be something i can be doing! i just don't know what.

again, sorry if this is. not the sort of thing you'd like to answer, i'd understand completely. feel free to like. ignore this i suppose

your blog seems lovely, it's nice to see someone determined to fight for a better world. i hope you have a wonderful day.

Hi. Thanks for getting in touch, and please don’t apologise for your questions. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling, and I want to start by saying that what you’re feeling is a normal, healthy result of being a caring human being in a world full of cruelty and suffering. This is a really difficult time for the planet and its people and so I’d start by saying you’re allowed to feel dispirited and hopeless, especially as a minor looking around and seeing this is the world you’re growing up in.

This will probably be quite a long answer so I apologise for that, but you’ve caught me on my favourite topic - hope. To begin with, I have a little mantra that I repeat to myself which is that while despair as an emotional response is valid and to be expected, despair as an ideological orientation is not acceptable. What this means is that I allow myself and others slack and compassion at times when the feeling that everything is just too fucked to fix takes over. But I don’t permit myself to stop that from making me act. I take inspiration from people who have survived and are surviving incredible adversity - from the indigenous people who chose to keep living, to keep preserving their language and religion and culture, to keep fighting for their land and bringing children into the world even after everything they recognised about it was gone. We aren’t the first culture to face an apocalypse. Similarly I think of the low-lying islanders and other people in the Global South or the Arctic Circle seeing their means of subsistence or their homes being destroyed by climate change. I know this doesn’t sound at all hopeful on the surface, but I remind myself that these people don’t have the luxury of nihilism or despair. They have to keep trying, again and again, rebuilding the dams and re-roofing their houses and planting again the crops that they lost to extreme weather. If they give up, they die. They don’t need my tears and they don’t want my pity. And so reminding myself of the solidarity I owe them sort of resets my brain into getting-stuck-in-mode.

One of the most important things I have done and would recommend others to do to keep the despondency at bay is to act, to get up each morning and make the choice to do good, even if it’s just being kind and friendly to the people I see that day, or signing an online petition, or planting something in the ground. Sure, these actions won’t change the world on their own, but they contribute. And more importantly, they change you.

The second biggest thing is to control your media diet. That means getting serious about reining in your doomscrolling. The news and social media are full of appalling images right now and I’m not saying you should look away, or pretend it isn’t happening, but you have to remember that you becoming emotionally numbed out and vicariously traumatised doesn’t help the victims of war or environmental disaster. So balance out the negative news by actively seeking out things that are going well in the world. Remember that every day countless people get up determined to make things better. Visit Positive News, The Good News Network, The BBC’s Uplifting Stories Page, and similar sites. Follow Sam Bentley and Zahra Biabani. Read Rutger Bregman and Hans Rosling and Jon Alexander. Remind yourself that the good things happening in the world aren’t cancelled out by the bad ones any more than they cancel out the bad. Look for signs of care in the world around you: see how the old friends at the train station hug tightly when they’re reunited, or how the schoolboy helps his friend with his jacket, or the crowd parts to let the old woman through. These things seem small but they are the groundwork for everything we can achieve together.

I have hope because even in the midst of appalling scenes in the Middle East, aid workers are going in with food and medicine, risking their own lives, journalists are drawing attention to the situation, Israelis (even some with families held hostage) are calling for an end to the bombing, groups of Palestinian and Israeli communities have been working together for decades and will be the first to pick up the pieces when the dust settles, and because thousands are marching for justice and peace all over the world. Sometimes the moments that reveal the worst of humanity show us its best too. ‘Look for the helpers’ is a cliche but it’s genuinely useful.

Hope is also something you work at, a skill to be cultivated like any other, and I have found the writings of Rebecca Solnit hugely helpful in cultivating my own practice of hope. In terms of the environment, solarpunk shares origins with hopepunk, a genre that is all about triumphing (or even just trying your damn hardest) in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. You don’t have to become a perfect optimist overnight, you don’t even have to be an optimist at all, you can just hope out of spite. Because the last thing that the corrupt politicians and the war criminals and the fossil fuel billionaires and the media commentators want you to think is that things don’t have to be this way and can get better.

Watch the Earthshot Prize Awards Ceremony even though it’s weird and corporate. Get newsletters from MSF or the UN agencies doing good work on the ground. Watch the birds out of your window. Revisit those good news websites regularly to check out the latest stories. Listen to podcasts that imagine a better future (I am working on a resources masterpost so check back in for that). Bake a cake for someone you know who is having a hard time - maybe that someone is you. That’s ok too. We cannot change the world alone but we can hold and soothe some of the pain in it. And take care of yourself - remember that, as Audre Lorde said, self-care is an act of political warfare. Make joy your resistance whenever you can.

This kind of ties in to your second question - how to make change as a minor. I know you don’t have a lot of power but you can still make a difference. See if you can make an environment society or a group of socially conscious students at your school. Talk to your friends about climate change and social justice issues (studies say this is the single action you can take as an individual that has the greatest likelihood of contributing to systemic change - ahead even of giving up flights or going vegan). Talk to your parents if they’re receptive. Talk to siblings and cousins and the guy behind the supermarket counter. Surround yourself with people who want to make things better, if you can. You’d be surprised how much change you can make even just by asking people or institutions to do better - can your school improve its sustainability, for instance? Write to elected officials even though you can’t vote (they don’t need to know that! You don’t need to tell them your age!) and sign petitions if you can’t go to protests. Sneak out to a protest if you feel like rebelling (though make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and follow safety guidelines available online).

Give yourself some grace to mess up and fall short and fail. It’s beyond unfair you have to be worrying about any of these things, but you are, and that’s because you have a big heart. Take some time to cry in your bed if you need it - I know I have over these past few weeks. Then when you’re ready, get up, wipe your eyes, roll up your sleeves and get to work.

#solarpunk #hopepunk #ask #environmentalism #social justice #cottagepunk #optimism #community #climate justice #bright future #you want to help and that itself is powerful #you can’t fix everything #but the trying is the work

[traumasurvivors]

I have some asks in my ask box about being ready for sex after trauma. And I did write a longer blog post about that. It's here if you want to read it!

But for those that aren't up to reading my article on it, here are some summarized points from it. (It was hard to choose from the article, and a lot of info I think is still good has been left out, so if the stuff below is helpful, please consider checking the full article.)

Questions to ask yourself to help determine whether you’re ready

Everyone is different and there is no sure way to know whether you are ready or not, but here are some questions that might help you sit down with yourself to explore this.

Do you feel safe with the person you are considering having sex with?

When you think about having sex, how do you feel? If the answer is panicked, uncomfortable, scared or any other negative emotion, it might be best to come back to this at a later time.

Why do you want to have sex? If it’s due to pressures from someone else, or even societal expectations, it’s best to stop and be sure that it’s because it’s what you want.

Communication

It is a good idea to talk about your boundaries and any issues that may arise. It is probably a good idea to at least talk about some of the ways your trauma might affect what happens (even if you don't want to talk about the trauma itself - which is totally okay), such as if you might freeze up or have trouble speaking or worry about being triggered in some way.

It's a good idea to come up with a non verbal signal for “stop” in cases where someone is concerned that they may become stressed, panicked or otherwise unable to verbally say “stop.”

It’s also a good idea to plan for multiple check-ins during your activity, as this helps with potential situations where a person may freeze entirely and be unable to use even non-verbal signals to communicate. There can be a way to do this in a “sexy” and fun way that doesn’t break the mood. (I have some examples on the article).

It’s important that your partner understands that not getting a signal, verbal or otherwise, may indicate that you are experiencing a “freeze” response and that it’s better safe than sorry for them to stop all activity immediately. If possible, having a plan for “freeze” responses is ideal. These plans may include grounding techniques or ways for your partner to help calm and ground you.

Before sexual activity

Another extremely important thing to do is to make sure you feel safe with the person, especially if you have had sexual trauma. Feeling emotionally safe is important. While this is something that seems to be more likely within a relationship, it is definitely possible with casual encounters and one-night stands. A lot of times, feeling heard and respected can go a long way. Having a level of physical comfort with the person you are planning sex with could also be very helpful. If you are in a relationship with them, you may want to spend time beforehand with each other’s bodies in non-sexual ways like dancing or cuddling.

After sexual activity

There may be unexpected responses to the ending of sexual activity. Even if the activity was good and fun, some people may experience a mood drop. This may have nothing to do with your actual mood and everything to do with the chemistry involved in intense activities like sex. It does not mean that the experience was bad. During these activities, chemicals may all be mixing together in the brain to make you feel extremely good. After sex, levels of these chemicals in the brain can drop, sometimes very quickly. This is what causes a mood drop.

In trauma survivors, there may also be a feeling that they are somehow “dirty” or “wrong” for what they just did. It may be important to plan for time afterwards. Some people find cuddling with their partner can help with the emotions, whereas some people prefer to practice their own self-care and self soothe instead. Some people even have a “self care” box for after that includes a variety of things that may be helpful. If there are things that your partner can say or do to help, make sure to communicate that with them.

At the end of the day, remember that it’s okay to enjoy sex. But it’s also okay if you don’t enjoy sex. You should never feel pressured in any way to participate in sexual situations and it’s really valid if you aren’t ready - or if you are never ready.

#tw sex #honestly #it means so much when people check out the articles on my website #so even if you just read this short version #hearts on my original blog post are adored and appreciated

[anadiasmount]

distant feeling -- mason mount x reader.

back again bffr. wasnt sure but i kinda love?? feel free to send any request or feed back <;33

You layed on his chest, tracing small shapes on his chest, listening to his heartbeat after your recent activities. You looked back and thought of how you ended up here, tangled underneath the sheets naked. A simple argument about how you felt led here. 

“I’m sorry Mason, I'm sorry I can’t be that girl for you. You put so much pressure and high expectations on me. I was just trying to have fun, I deserve it after the week I had,” you yelled frustratedly. He scoffed and then chuckled, rubbing his fingers over his chin while licking his lips. “You deserve it? I had training all week, a game this afternoon, and you're ‘exhausted’ ” He tried to reason but failed. 

“Yes, I am! I’ve had to work with people I despise, get treated differently because I'm a woman, and try to maintain myself stable and earn money. So yes I deserved to go out with friends and let myself loosen up. It just happened you were there. Don’t blame it on me for your performance and loss today,” You spat back. This was getting you nowhere, but you couldn't help but feel a little sad and disappointed at his words. He knows how much you’ve sacrificed.

“I wasn't-” you cut him off laughing, “Oh shut it, yes you were! This whole evening, you forced me to come to your house, letting any negative comments come out”. He walked near you but you walked back trying to keep the distance, “If you have nothing better to say but talk bad then I'm leaving,” you stated preparing to leave grabbing your small clutch. 

You began to walk away when he stayed silent but felt chills when his strong, big, and warm hand wrapped around your wrist. Feeling his breath on the nape of your neck, as his hands traveled to your waist. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” you whispered, wanting to know what was on his mind. “Don’t go. I'm sorry, you're right I was trying to take my anger out, but you don’t deserve that. I’ve been in a mood since Sunday… and today’s result is making me into an asshole I know,” You sighed. This was a constant cycle with him, always trying to get you to forgive him after his words cause a burden inside you. 

“You can’t always do that Mase… I'm trying to understand you believe me, but it's every time. It's always me, not anyone else. Am I just a punchbag to you?” Your voice was shaky, trying to prevent the tears. “God no, you’re much more than that baby…” there he goes again calling you pet names when things between you weren’t serious. 

You’ve liked him, no loved him ever since you got to walk around with him on the pitch after the Champions League game. Since he helped you decorate your apartment in London. Since he offered and risked himself when you got the flu, getting your favorite snacks and soup from the small restaurant around the corner. 

But it's always hot and cold. He sometimes only came to you when it was convenient, making you realize deep down that maybe you weren't for him… Seeing how he went out with rather pretty models, maybe them only being with him for his money or name. That stuff never mattered to you. You only wanted him, but when he wasn't around it hurt you more. 

This was the first time you had seen him in over two weeks. He looked good, with a white Louis Vuitton button-up shirt and black pants. Nothing he was forced or made to wear. His hair was now growing, thankfully as you missed the longer middle-parted hair.  You were dancing with a drink in your hand, smiling as the alcohol slowly entered your system. 

When your friend pulled you aside you didn't picture it was true till you looked over and saw him. “Bestie, he won’t stop looking! This is your chance, Y/n,” she says trying to push you off but you shook your head. “I’ve had those ‘chances’ in the past. They succeeded nowhere, either him drunk or with a girl sitting on his lap. No way! Let’s forget about him and just dance!” You said, throwing your hands in the air cheering. 

To say the least, it hurt because two weeks ago you told yourself you’ll only talk to him when he comes to you, no more of the ‘how are you?’ or ‘sorry mase’. He hadn't once communicated with you and you missed him more than ever but he slowly showed his true colors. You swayed your hips, and to your surprise, a tall blonde gripped your hips. 

You turned over and wrapped your arms around his neck, laughing at his attempt at dancing, he pulled you closer but was pulled away by an angry Mason. The blond scoffed and left. You rolled your eyes and left before he could say anything to you. He didn’t say anything either followed you around till you got outside, you wanted to yell and scream but in public wasn't the ideal place. 

“I think I should go… You have training tomorrow-” he yells making you flinch. “Y/n I don’t care about training! Or anything to do with the team. I care about us. Trying to figure out how we can fix things. How have we haven't talked in two weeks? Me finding out you had a date with a guy I didn’t know about.”

“So this is what it is? You’re jealous.”

“Fucking hell I am! It should be me making you laugh, hold your hand while we walk at the park you like, visit Axel your favorite german shepherd at the vet you like. It should be me who you fall asleep next to, come to me when you’re feeling upset or down. I want to be that man Y/n,” he spins you around grabbing your cheeks and making you look to see his teary face.

He sighs shaking his head, “How can we fix things? I can now acknowledge I wasn’t the best friend but I love you, baby. This distance killed me, not being able to talk to you or hold you were doing it for me. I thought you wanted space from me, but then I found out that. And don’t even start, I know he was a douchebag to you, your friend Ella told me.”

You made a face, making a note to talk to her later. All you can think about is him saying ‘I love you. It brought butterflies to your stomach, after so long it felt good and unreal for him to say that. “It pained me too, but my overthinking took place. I thought you didn't want me around anymore. Your replies were dry and small. You rarely called or texted me and when I did, you couldn’t answer,” Your voice was small and hoarse. 

“I was scared before, scared you wouldn't like me… or didn't think I was enough for you. What most scared me was how I started to feel around you. I was afraid of the thought of losing you one day because of me, hell I almost did. But now I'm sure, and I want you. To come out and support me like before, make Summer laugh, cook those ridiculously good red velvet cookies, or hold me, kiss my head as you do,” he confesses. 

You were stunned, unable to form words, so you reached over grabbed his face, and pulled your lips in together. He groans at the feeling, wrapping his arms around you. His tongue slowly grazed your bottom lip, begging but silently asking you to open your mouth to see what you’d taste like. 

You pulled back, still resting your hands on his shoulders, “I’d think I would love that. If it means being with you or close to you then absolutely. I love you too Mason, ever since you called me silly for not like ketchup with eggs,” you teased making him giggle. 

“Oh shut it, you know its superior,” he fired back, you made a face but yelped when he lifted you onto the counter. He left more kisses on your lips, dragging them down to your neck where he left wet open mouth kisses slightly sucking at times, his tongue grazing below your pulse. Both of you wanted this, so it led you upstairs, where you made love that night. 

He noticed you weren’t falling asleep, he looked down and saw you already staring at him. “Is this real? Are we actually here together right now?” you couldn't help but ask making him laugh. He rolled over and now layed on your chest, getting comfy by wrapping his broad arm around you. “Yes baby. This is happening, just us two… after so long.”

“I love you, Mason,” your words caused his heart to begin to beat faster, it's the effect it had on him. He lifted himself up placing one last long kiss on your lips, leaning your forehead together. 

“I love you more Y/n”.

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