#insomnia rambles

[insomniahousewarden]

No wonder he cares so much about the gargoyles vs grotesques distinction*. Gargoyles look intimidating but are actually benign--importantly, unknown to most people--whereas grotesques have no purpose beyond their appearance. Fearsome is all they are.

(Also I LOVE when characters purposefully, diagetically discuss their own metaphors. Both because it's interesting analytically and because it makes it clear that they are Nerds.)

*in addition to just being neurodivergent

#Insomnia replays twisted wonderland #I have so many thoughts and most of them aren't neat enough to fit into a post right now #But thinking about how he so desperately wants people to know he's not just an intimidating dragon fae (even though he's shit at saying so) #And how he tells anyone who even remotely prompts it that gargoyles help maintain the buildings they're on #And!!! #how he cares so much about being seen as a fully dimensional person #And how that's connected to him disliking grotesques #which are exactly as simple as they look #Also the fact that he never actually gets involved in protecting Ramshackle was disappointing on my first playthrough #I mean it makes sense because Yuu and co saved it in time #And also because frankly whatever he might do to Azul to keep his Spooky Hangout Spot would not be pretty #Twisted wonderland #insomnia rambles #Malleus draconia

[bluestarlings]

thinking about language and how when i get very angry or upset, obviously communication is difficult, but communicating in a second language then becomes almost impossible. i can only properly explain myself in times of true distress in my mother tongue. english is useless there.

but then, casual expressions of love, those sit so heavy within me in my first language. a certain kind of humor, and a lightness around love, is what english expresses to me as a second language. i guess because there is a fundamental distance to it. it's not in my making in the same way, i don't feel it as strongly. it's more of a conduit and not the fire within. and i can never escape my first language, not really. and since language is culture, history, life itself, i'll always be looking in through a window, a visitor in another land.

i say sydän, and it's being carved up alive, it's a raw, severed thing. i say heart, and i'm expressing love, and it feels softer.

and don't make me say rakkaus, saying that to someone is expressing an emotion so deep that it's embarrassing to feel it let alone to share that feeling, visceral. and then i say, i love it, i love you, i love life, so freely and without that heavy weight that bears it down.

and i've been thinking as well, about thinking specifically. especially since my mother tongue isn't indo-european, it's something completely different and unrelated. how your language shapes how you approach and think about things. what you place value on. just purely grammatically, i still struggle a bit with prepositions since we don't largely use those. we express that function through grammatical cases. but not only grammatically, it's a completely different way to think from say, germanic languages.

#genuinely i have told my parents that i love them maybe like idk 1-2 times in my entire life #and my friend with her british dad they go love you at the end of every phone call like wtf is that #insomnia rambles #wow i really need to sleep #i do think in 2 languages and honestly would prefer to talk a mess of both. with some bits of a 3rd language thrown in.

[maybetheyregiants]

what would you do if one day you woke up and found out your girlfriend was maintaining a tvtropes page about every time you've fucked

#insomnia rambles #ymmv

[insomniarambling]

My favorite thing (/hj) about The Locked Tomb is understanding less about what is happening after reading the book than before.

Most of my plot comprehension comes from shitposts and memes rather than what I actually took in.

Like John’s origin sorta flew over my head until I saw memes about it 💀

(I will say, Nona was easier for me to read (well audiobook) than Harrow. I only had to skip back a few times rather than ever few minutes.)

#I wish I was kidding #the locked tomb #nona the ninth #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth #hen clucks #insomnia rambles

[ashtraysystem]

even tho ive got The Big Insomnia (i forgor my melatonin and am away from home) its not bad bc its not really anxiety insomnia. in the past ive had anxiety insomnia while sleeping over, and that causes me to be uncomfy type of tired but as the years have gone by and ive gotten more comfy with my partner and their house its not as bad any more.

i feel relatively safe here and know that if i do not feel safe at any moment that my partner would be willing to comfort me and assure me that i am. which makes me feel even more safe and assured.

#insomnia rambles

[marcspectorsbooty]

So apparently my insomnia is in full swing tonight. It’s 3 am and I haven’t slept at all. I’m wide awake watching Howl’s Moving Castle.

Good news is that I organized my closet and put away a bunch of clothes. So there’s that i guess

#jen speaks #insomnia rambles

[your-queer-dad]

#checkpoint #mental health #positive mental attitude #sleep #sleep bitch #i need sleep #sleep insomnia #lgbt #lgbtq #trans #transgender #lgbtqia #finch rambles #trans joy #queer positivity #trans kids #trans community

[caruliaa]

FUCK EVERYONE THIS POST IS ABOUT MIDNIGHTS NOW GET FUCKED. CALL ME MR THE FROG THE WAY IM KERMITED TO MY EXCITEMENT ABT MIDNGIHTS

[image description: the album cover for taylor swifts 10th studio album, midnights. /End description]

#its 4 am it so goddam late one again. rb this for my insomnia <3 #<- im not making sense again. anyway #flappy rambles #the muppets #kermit

[brightlotusmoon]

#I don't have friendship decay #i love my friends #i worry if i don't hear from some my mutuals #me hugging my mutuals #I love you #i need a hug #i'm tired #I'm old #I'm touch starved #please love me #head bunt #my gender is cat #adhd culture #insomnia ramblings

[vicsep7250]

I think the biggest "Fuck You" Atlus could give everyone is when (Not if, When) they remake Persona 4 with the P5 engine and graphics and give us the Yosuke romance Social Link but only in one single line of text and never mention it again. Not during Christmas, Valentines or even White Day. A blink and you miss blurb of 3 to 7 words.

#persona #persona 4 #back on my persona bullshit #souyo #insomnia induced late night ramblings

[brainrockets]

Something something Kristen isn't special because she was Chosen. Kristen was Chosen because she was already special.

Something about so below so above and all that. I like that Brennan and Ally are engaging with these tropes and trying to do different things with them.

There's also something about scale maybe. Where gods, the universe and all that are incomprehensibly large and powerful, and yet we still have agency.

Like sometimes the dog wags its tail and sometimes the tail wags the dog.

Sometimes the big scale thing is an irresistible force and sometimes the tiniest thing can take out the biggest. See: everyone that's died of disease or food borne pathogens.

There's balance needed. From our gut biomes to the galactic biome. When I feel insignificant I remember that to some extent we humans are part of this world's biome. The things we do matter. Keeping a balance matters.

I have a feeling we're going to get a lot more about that going forward. Doubt and rage baby. Balance. Something to it.

#fhjy spoilers #rambling #dimension 20 #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #dst induced insomnia rambles

[bluestarlings]

hmmm muscle relaxants and cheese really is a great combo

#insomnia rambles

[maybetheyregiants]

she let me hit it cause of my like... the thingy with the talky doodad- she let me hit it cause of my buffyspeak

#insomnia rambles

[jazzythursday]

Did anyone else have the experience of reading Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell at the ripe age of 13 and relating to Cath because you read fanfic and had crippling social anxiety, and THEN eventually growing up to be a young adult who wrote fanfic and had crippling social anxiety, in your first year of uni and trying to finish your biggest fic yet by a specific self-imposed deadline at the expense of your finals assessments? Because boy do I have I story for yo—

I didn’t write fic when I read Fangirl for the first time—I didn’t write fic until the summer before my first year of uni, funnily enough—but seeing a character that used fictional worlds/relationships to escape the real one, who struggled in the same ways as me and didn’t so much as change by the end but grow and evolve was really special to me.

Rainbow gave me a little too much credit, maybe… I did not, unfortunately, get a Levi or a Reagan, nor do I have a spunky twin sister to reconnect with. It’s just me and my writing, my blorbos and my fandom friends—even now that I’m going through another fic deadline rush worryingly close finals in my second year, AGAIN—but I can’t help but think about how serendipitous it is that my life ended up mirroring a lot about a character that spoke to me so much as a tween.

I reread Fangirl every now and again and always, I think: oh, I feel like that. She gets it… which is maybe a little bit sad when it’s because you’re hiding in a bathroom for an hour because you’re too scared to go to the canteen, or crying because you’ve lived the whole first quarter of your life and you still don’t know how to talk to people, but even those times, being alone didn’t feel as… alone, I think, because of Fangirl.

I think about Cath when I’m on hour 6 of writing and I’m hunched over my laptop in the dark. I think about her when I put up fandom posters on my dorm room walls, or reply to fic comments, or straight up start crying because, besides fandom, I’m really lonely. (I think about her when I’m not so lonely too—when I talk to people and it goes ok, and maybe I can be person, actually).

I think about Cath when I’m scared. I think about her when I’m terrified and I just have to keep going anyway.

All that’s to say, I’m really grateful that Rainbow Rowell read so much drarry fanfiction wrote Fangirl, and I’m really grateful it was displayed at the front table of the bookstore I was in. I’m really grateful I read it, and related to it, and that I still do.

#I don’t know what this is #I listened to the fangirl audiobook because insomnia won last night and I didn’t sleep #and I got up thinking about it #jazzy rambles #rainbow rowell #fangirl book #fangirl rainbow rowell #simon and baz #carry on Simon #carry on rainbow rowell #simon snow #Cath Avery #snowbaz

[memories-beneath-the-skin]

Crimson red

Softness unparalleled

Thorn piercing flesh

Redemptive pain for emotions stored

Earth enriched, flowers birth

Consuming drive to nourish

Growth reaching dreams

Minds singular focus

Heart not their own

Heart strings connection

The need to please

Love letter written

Thoughts obsession

Carefully penned

Edited presentation

Pulse rising submission

Proud intention

Unashamed open display

Anticipation

Trepidation

Doubt

Nerves.........

OVERTHINKING

&

s i l e n c e

.

.

.

selfdoubingfearcomparisonworryvulnerablerazorsfilletingsoul

Mind F

A

de L etion

L

un I ntended

pai N

hurtin G

Down a dark abyss

actions regret

Wounded love - - Tears sown - - Bruises masking cuts

MY HEART STILL

fucking

FEEEEEEEEEEEEELS

#Insomnia mind ramble #writers on tumblr #original writing #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #writerscommunity #intimate #couple #spilled writing #art #spilled truth #spilled words #spilled poetry #creative writing #writers and poets #writeblr #spilled pain #word vomit #Regrets that keep me up

[avernusreject]

Not gonna lie it would be really funny to see chosen custody court proceedings for a durge who romanced Gale that became a god. Since we know Gale wants their lover to be his chosen. Like if they’re still on team Bhaal, it’s their dad vs. daddy. Who wins? Does Bhaal get them on the weekdays and Gale of the weekends? I just have so many questions that need answers

#this is why I need sleep medication #my feed is progressive turning into my insomnia ramblings #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the dark urge #durge #gale #god gale #bhaal