Force Ghost Anakin: *sitting with Din and FG Obi-Wan and Grogu in Boba’s palace while they discuss Grogu’s training going forward*
Boba: *comes in, pauses, is completely unsurprised to see any of this, sits next to Din* Hey, Skywalker. I got a really fucked up question.
Force Ghost Obi-Wan: 👁️👄👁️
Force Ghost Anakin: Okay?
Boba: It’s like. Super messed up.
Force Ghost Anakin: I hope you realize I spend about twenty years with Tag and Bink, it’s likely I’ve already heard it.
Boba: Awesome. So, what does lava feel like?
Force Ghost Anakin: :/
Din: ??????
Grogu: 👁️👄👁️
Force Ghost Obi-Wan: 👁️👄👁️
Boba: Cause, see, like, the sarlacc was… let’s say… tingly. Felt like my skin was sparkly. I never wanted to ask when you were Vader, it’s just now that I know how sparkly acid is, I’m wondering if Lava is as soft as it looks.
Force Ghost Anakin: …I was right, Tag and Bink have asked me that before. I threw them out the airlock, idk how they survived that one. Um, I was already on fire /from/ the lava by the time it actually touched me cause it was rising, so I know what fire feels like, but that’s not as impressive. Feels like… like fire…
Boba: Cool. I thought that might be the case. I guess I’ll have to suffer.
Din: …Navarro was a lava type planet…
Everyone: ?????
Din: Yeah. I met a guy who’s touched lava. He said it was like a non-Newtonian fluid. But. He can’t repeat the experiment. So. Um, an unchallenged conclusion?
Boba: …oh my god… this is why we keep you around. You got great stories.
Din: Thanks.
476 notes
·
View notes
grogu: can we get ice cream?
boba: did you ask your dad?
grogu: he said no
boba: then why did you ask me?
grogu: he’s not the boss of you
boba, internally: it’s a trap. it’s a trap. its a trap.
2K notes
·
View notes
Din (to Grogu): Say "Dad". DAD.
Peli: No, say "Peli". P-E-L-I. Peli.
Boba: That's a lame choice for a first word. Say "Uncle Boba".
Luke: No, you can do better. Say "Master Luke".
Artoo: *beeps quietly into Grogu's ear*
Grogu: Fuck.
---
(Roughly inspired by Grogu's Verbal Adventures by @darlin-djarin)
594 notes
·
View notes
Force Ghost Cody: Why are we looking for Initiate Grogu in a cave full of armored idiots?
Force Ghost Obi-Wan: Luke said he gave the baby back to his Buir, who promptly wandered off to find them in a cave. I think the armorer is force sensitive enough to see us so we could ask her to talk to Din about continuing his meditation training.
FG Cody: Yes, because an initiate without meditation might end up just as bad as Anakin.
FG Obi-Wan: Calm down, you know you love my idiot too.
FG Cody: Shut your whore mouth, General.
Armorer: 0.0??? Oh hello, are you two searching for the light sword??
FG Obi-Wan: Actually, we’re looking for initiate Grogu-
Armorer: Foundling Grogu.
FG Obi-Wan: …foundling Grogu-
Armorer: My bu’ad. Whom you cannot have.
FG Obi-Wan: …
FG Cody: *giggling*
FG Obi-Wan: Sorry, you misunderstand. My nephew, Luke Skywalker, did him a great disservice by letting him leave without promise of mental health help. I get that’s a big part of what you do for your covert, but the issue is, for his peace of mind, he needs regular meditation and reassurance in the force.
Armorer: And you are here to give that?
FG Obi-Wan: Sure. Little Grogu was always one of my favorite kiddos in the temple, from the moment I found his egg in that dumpster when I was thirteen.
FG Cody: I’m sorry you found that baby troll’s egg in a dumpster? What did it call to you in the force?
FG Obi-Wan: Well. I mean. I got tossed in the dumpster and then I saw the egg and grabbed it and felt a life force in it-
FG Cody: You we’re gonna eat the egg before you realized it was fertilized, weren’t you?
FG Obi-Wan: Obviously. I was a bit feral at that age and alone on a mission. It was massive!
Armorer: Hmmm. I like you two. You will join me and foundling Grogu in the mornings for meditation.
FG Obi-Wan: Awesome. Sorry for just intruding on your forge like this and all-
Armorer: No, it is an acceptable reason, to honor the foundlings.
FG Cody: I like you, you’re a bit more stable than the shiny silver one that doesn’t have much thought behind his eyes.
Armorer: Thank you. I have suffered to get him to think for most of his life now. I think this is as good as that will get.
FG Cody: God that’s such a mood. I could tell you stories about getting Ben and the 212th to do what they need to for basic survival. It’s wild.
2K notes
·
View notes
Din: I’m starting to think our neighbors hate us.
Luke: It’s taken you this long to figure that out?
Din: In my defense, death threats are pretty standard fare where I come from.
892 notes
·
View notes