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musicforastylesrestaurant · 1 day

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hi for the first tomlinson!sister blurb maybe like her and harry’s relationship during the years? her relationship with her family and louis idk lol im bad at coming up with ideas 😭

trope masterlist || ask me anything <3

anniversary masterlist is here !!

welcome to the first blurb of the week all for my first anniversary 💞 i hope you enjoy it just as much as i had creating it <3

authors note - thanks to whoever came up with this gorgeous idea it’s definitely a good one so i hope i somehow did it justice💗💗 when it comes to the tragic passings of johannah and felicity, i decided not to use there photos in this just to respect the privacy of the tomlinson family🙏

2010,

MARCH. (account private.)

liked by mrsjohannahdeakin, yourfriend and 23 others.

yourinstagram, good luck lou! can’t believe that my brother is auditioning for the x-factor i know for a fact that your going to smash it ❤️

view all comments.

yourfriend, good luck louis!

mrsjohannahdeakin, can’t believe my baby boys doing this ❤️

yourfriend, wait what? how did i not know he was auditioning??

yourfriend, good luck

yourfriend, so that’s why your not in school today?

DECEMBER.

liked by gemmasfriend, yourinstagram and 21 others.

gemmastyles, get a room

tagged, yourinstagram

view all comments.

gemmasfriend, can’t believe how famous harry is now

gemmasfriend, cuties

annetwist, all i see is a bunch of cuties

mrsjohannahdeakin, the cutest babies ever

gemmasfriend, Harry’s got a gf?

yourinstagram, gem!

2011,

SEPTEMBER. (account still private.)

liked by yourfriend, mrsjohannahdeakin and 56 others.

yourinstagram, so guess who appeared in her brothers music video? this girl and it was everything and more. if your my friend then you’ll go and stream it right now 💞

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yourfriend, this song is such a bop

yourfriend, im so jealous that you got to be that close to Harry 😮‍💨

yourinstagram, 🫣🫣

mrsjohannahdeakin, super proud of the boys for this

yourfriend, this song is so good like your brother and his friends are geniuses

2012,

FEBRUARY. (Account Still Private.)

liked by lottietomlinson, mrsjohannahdeakin and 198 others.

yourinstagram, birthday meal for the birthday boy happy eighteenth to my curly headed friend🎉🎂

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yourfriend, still can’t believe that your friends with the one direction boys

yourfriend, happy birthday harry

mrsjohannahdeakin, happy birthday harry feels like it was just yesterday that I met little sixteen year old you for the very first time

yourinstagram, he just read this and is blushing right infront of me

yourfriend, happy birthday

liked by username, username and 4,419 others.

enews, harry styles and his band mates little sister (yn) spotted getting cosy after leaving a restaurant together. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗

view all comments.

username, wtf? that’s his bestfriends sister

username, the way he’s holding her in the third picture

username, this is kinda gross

username, why would she do that to louis?

username, wasn’t it his birthday yesterday?

username, and they were the only two who went out to celebrate so it was obviously a date

username, there actually cute

2013.

AUGUST.

“Homes always been a special place to me,”Harry spoke into the camera, head resting in the palm of his hand.

“I’ve taken a few people there but only people that mean something special to me, and yeah you could say that one of those people is (Y/N),” A soft smile formed on his face. “She just understands this life y’know like because of her brother being Lou.”

A cease formed in his brow. “Although telling Louis that I was dating his sister was something I wish I could go back and never have to do.”

“Only joking, he actually did take it pretty well to be fair,” he let out a soft laugh. “Let’s just say I didn’t end up with a black eye.”

— Harry referring to (Y/N) Tomlinson in This Is Us.

2014.

JUNE. (account public.)

liked by harrystyles, louist91 and 10,476 others.

yourinstagram, fangirling proper rn because i’ve just met five seconds of summer and I don’t exactly know how to cope knowing i was stood right next to luke hemmings 😳

tagged, 5sos

view all comments.

username, this girl is living all of our fantasies right now

username, Callum’s a proper fitty

harrystyles, luke hemmings? not like you’ve got me or anything

yourinstagram, but his accent…

harrystyles, heyyyy

username, your adorable

username, i want to live your life

username, how does it feel girly??

2015,

APRIL.

enews, harry styles and (y/n) tomlinson spark engagement rumours just weeks after band mate zayn malik leaves the group. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗

liked by username, username and 4,569 others

tagged, yourinstagram and harrystyles

view all comments.

username, good for them i guess

username, hope this is true there my faves 🙏

username, she’s not even that pretty 🤷‍♀️

username, excuse you! but just because she’s dating someone that you find attractive doesn’t mean that you can be so mean to someone

username, aren’t they a little young?

username, ayyo

username, childhood sweethearts and all that jazz

username, defo a PR stunt

username, one that’s been going on for five years?

2016,

JANUARY.

liked by annetwist, taylorswift and 234,619 others.

yourinstagram, welcome to the world our darling nephew, freddie reign tomlinson, auntie and uncle adore you so much ❤️💗

tagged, louist91 and brianasrealaccount

view all comments.

username, freddie 😭

lottietomlinson, can’t believe you met him before me ☹️

username, love how she said ‘our nephew’ instead of ‘my nephew’

username, harry holding a baby is something i never knew i needed

username, imagine when him and (y/n) have kids

username, welcome to the world freddie!

username, he’s so cute!

harrystyles, he definitely likes me more.

yourinstagram, in your dreams lover boy

username, there banter >>>>

DECEMBER.

liked by yourfriend, zayn and 1,345,329 others.

yourinstagram, Mum, I miss you.

comments have been disabled.

2017,

APRIL.

liked by yourinstagram, lottietomlinson and 2,464,924 others.

harrystyles, SIGN.OF.THE.TIMES // 7.APRIL. 17 //

view all comments.

username, oh this is gonna be good

username, this songs is gonna be iconic just y’all wait

yourinstagram, so proud h! ❤️

harrystyles liked your comment.

username, him releasing music means that one direction are officially over and I don’t know how to feel about that

username, excited!

lottietomlinson, love love love

harrystyles liked your comment.

username, CRYING

username, that date is so soon! you could have given us some more time to prepare.

MAY.

liked by lottietomlinson, taylorswift and 832,178 others.

yourinstagram, tried to get a picture of cillian murphy but some rando was giving me death glares🤷‍♀️

tagged, harrystyles

view all comments.

username, same girl same

username, if looks could kill girly

lottietomlinson, cillian could do a lot of things to me…

yourinstagram, 🫣

username, if harry styles looked at me like that id simply pass away

username, the two loves of my life

gemmastyles, give him my number!

yourinstagram, will do!

harrystyles, heyyyyy

2018,

november.

liked by louist91, annetwist and 5,431,890 others.

harrystylesandyourinstagram, 08.11.2018

comments have been limited.

lottietomlinson, best day ever!

liampayne, one of the best days

annetwist, im still emotional typing this

niallhoran, loved it lad

gemmastyles, now give me a neice/nephew pls and thx

yourfriend, your dreams came true!

louist91, treat her right styles

zayn, so happy for you

2019,

march.

liked by username, taylorswift and 709,326 others.

yourinstagram, the moon was always her favourite. fizzy, i miss you.

comments have been disabled.

2020,

JANUARY.

liked by harrystyles, the.daisytomlinson and 934,431 others.

yourinstagram, my best friend just released his debut album, go listen to it or else i will hunt you down….

tagged, louist91

view all comments.

username, already have!!

username, listened and loved every single song on it

harrystyles, i thought i was your best friend.

yourinstagram, you are baby, you are

username, this album ruined me 😭

username, whose music is better louis or harrys?

yourinstagram, uhhh 1D?

username, walls is gonna be iconic watch this space

2021,

SEPTEMBER.

liked by lottietomlinson, niallhoran and 709,315 others.

yourinstagram, The Away From Home Festival 💞

tagged, louist91

view all comments.

username, gorgeous!

annetwist, so pretty darling

yourinstagram, ❤️

username, im there aswell

username, isn’t harry starting tour tomorrow ?

username, yeah he is, guess she’s not going 🤷‍♀️

username, maybe they’ve divorced?

yourinstagram, hi! im flying out directly after this to go and support him just in time for his first show tomorrow, me and h are happier than ever so please stop trying to get involved in our personal lives x

username, that outfit is so pretty, so casual but so chic

username, she looks more and more like lottie everyday

username, is it just me or does it look like she has a bump?

liked by kyliejenner, gemmastyles and 843,176 others

yourinstagram, it really is love on tour ❤️

view all comments.

username, power couple

gemmastyles, iconic 👌

username, best night of my life

username, can someone look at me the way harry looks at (y/n)??

username, my show!

username, she defo has a baby bump

username, don’t just assume things

username, your so gorgeous!

lottietomlinson, my beauty of a sister 💗

yourinstagram, have you seen yourself?

DECEMBER.

liked by taylorswift, thephoebetomlinson and 3,476,218 others.

yourinstagram and harrystyles, the best christmas present we could have ever asked for.

felix robin styles.

comments have been disabled.

2022,

JUNE.

liked by harrystyles, lottietomlinson and 932,164 others.

yourinstagram, London night one. ❤️

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username, so gorgeous.

username, it’s going to be such a good night !!

gemmastyles, that dress is everything 😮‍💨

yourinstagram, girl have you seen your dress? it’s beautiful !

username, love love love

username, it’s going to a night that goes down in history

thephoebetomlinson, can’t deal!

yourinstagram, mwah 💞

(Y/N) VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES !!

AUGUST.

liked by zayn, annetwist and 732,176 others.

yourinstagram, when felix met lucky 💙

tagged, lottietomlinson, mrlewisburton

view all comments.

username, the second generation of tomlinsons are all boys 🥹

liked by yourinstagram.

username, cousins

username, felix is so big now wow

mrlewisburton, 💙

yourinstagram, he’s adorable x

username, i can’t believe that lotties had a baby 🥲

username, this is too much for my heart

liked by yourinstagram, ryan.viggars and 1,619,908 others.

louist91, I’m so excited to finally tell you that my new album Faith In The Future is out 11th November. After living with this album for a while I can’t wait for you all to hear it. Thank you for allowing me to make the music I want to make.

Link in bio to pre-order.

#FaithInTheFuture

view all comments.

username, ahhhh

username, hold up - 🖐️

harrystyles, happy for you mate.

liked by louist91

username, im having heart palpitations as im typing this

username, screaming crying throwing up

yourinstagram, proud of you lou ❤️

liked by louist91

username, love there relationship so much 🥹

2023,

FEBRUARY.

liked by annetwist, zayn and 1,326,317 others.

yourinstagram, hands up if your husbands a three times grammy winner 🙌 words can’t explain how proud of him me and bubba are 💞

view all comments.

username, im crying

username, i don’t know anyone more deserving

lottietomlinson, ❤️❤️

liked by yourinstagram.

username, SCREAMING

username, why can’t he look at me like that??

username, because your not (y/n) 🤷‍♀️

username, fairs

JULY.

liked by yourinstagram, mr.lewisburton and 3,503,080 others.

harrystyles, Love On Tour. Reggio Emilia. July, 2023.

view all comments.

username, it’s really over

username, he’ll be back soon hopefully 🙏

thephoebetomlinson, such a good night ❤️

username, was the whole family there??

username, yeah they were !

username, don’t cry because it’s over cry because it happened

username, best night of my life

yourinstagram, so immensely proud ❤️

harrystyles, ❤️

liked by the.daisytomlinson, taylorswift and 932,176 others.

yourinstagram, lying on the beach as the sun blew out 🌊🏝️

view all comments.

username, your so effortlessly gorgeous

username, felix is so big now like wasn’t he just born yesterday??

yourinstagram, it’s going far too quick !!

username, whose that handsome man?

username, just show us his face ffs

harrystyles, who lays on a sunbed like that?

yourinstagram, honestly he’s such a weirdo 🙄

NOVEMBER.

liked by zayn, darbyward and 843,290 others.

yourinstagram, a night ill never forget. 💫

tagged, louist91

view all comments.

username, can’t believe how far he’s come 🥹

username, im emotional

username, was harry there?

username, this post is about louis not harry

annetwist, 💙

username, my pookie sold out the 02

2024,

JANUARY.

liked by lottietomlinson, niallhoran and 1,236,471 others.

yourinstagram, when felix met olive 🫒 so immensely proud of you phee, your already the best mama ever 💗

tagged, thephoebetomlinson, jack.varley7

view all comments.

username, the best duo

username, the first girl of the generation

username, how is Phoebe a mum like tf?

thephoebetomlinson, 💙🩷

yourinstagram, 🥹

FEBRUARY.

liked by annetwist, lottietomlinson and 1,346,371 others.

yourinstagram, when felix met his new forever bestie 🩷🩵

tagged, gemmastyles, michalmlynowski

view all comments.

username, can’t believe our gems a mum

username, cousins 🥹

the.daisytomlinson, babies 💞

username, your turn next

username, now fucking way

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kefiteria · 2 days

Text

Moonlight Echoes

character: scaramouche x reader

tags: fluff, established relationship, stargazing

summary: stargazing with scara + heart to heart conversation🩵 + reassuring scara

Scaramouche let out an exaggerated sigh, his snark practically dripping from every word. “Don't move too much now, or you'll fall, and trust me, I won't catch you if you did fall.” he remarked, his tone laced with sarcasm as he balanced precariously on the branch with you.

Rolling your eyes at his typical attitude, you couldn't help but marvel at the view. The rainforest stretched out beneath you, a vast expanse of greenery illuminated by the moonlight. “It's so tall, and I can see the whole rainforest here! WOAH LOOK, THE MOON IS SO BIG TOO, reminds me of a rice cracker!” you exclaimed, excitement evident in your voice as you pointed out the celestial sights.

Scaramouche sighed again and wrapped his arms around your waist, out of affection. “What a hassle. Such noise would attract many hidden preying eyes.” he grumbled, his snark cutting through the night air like a sharpened dagger.

“Like monkeys?” you teased, earning an exasperated eye roll from Scaramouche.

“Yes, monkeys. Just like you.” he retorted, his snide remark punctuated by a heavy sigh.

But your enthusiasm was undeterred as you pointed out the constellation Orion. “Look at Orion, isn't it incredible? It's like a celestial warrior, standing proud at the night sky. Maybe the monkeys will not be here because of Orion protecting us both!” you exclaimed, hopeful despite Scars's cynicism.

“I hate to break it to you, but Orion doesn't exactly have a good reputation in Greek mythology. So, don't even bother looking up at that constellation.” Scaramouche interjected, his snark evident in every syllable.

Undeterred, you suggested creating your own constellation. “Perhaps we should just connect the stars and make our own constellations then?” you proposed, pointing to the sky with enthusiasm.

“And what would it be?” Scaramouche asked, raising an eyebrow in mild interest.

“Probably chicken mushroom skewers or Mondstadt Grilled Fish shaped?” you grinned mischievously, earning another eye roll from your partner.

“I should've expected that coming from that brain of yours.” Scaramouche muttered, his snark reaching new heights.

You turned the question back on him with a curious look. “What about you? If you could make a new constellation, what would it be?”

After a moment of contemplation, Scaramouche replied, “Probably the tiniest star. I'll pick it and make it as the sole constellation.”

Confused by his choice, you pressed for more explanation. “Huh? I don't get it. How can one single star be a constellation?”

Scaramouche sighed, realizing he couldn't escape your relentless curiosity. “Constellations are patterns of stars that are named and recognized as distinct groupings by people. They're often based on mythological figures, animals, or objects. So, if I want it to be a constellation, then it shall be.” he explained, reluctantly delving into the topic.

“Yeah, but you still haven't explained why you chose a single tiny star to be your choice of constellation.” you pointed out, looking at him expectantly.

Knowing he couldn't avoid the question any longer, Scaramouche begrudgingly elaborated, “Everyone wants the brightest star to be their guiding star. Everyone wants to create a memorable constellation for future generations to look up to. I want something that only belongs to myself, so I'll choose a tiny star and elaborate it in my own eyes.” His words dripped with his trademark snark, leaving you with a mix of amusement and exasperation.

“And how would it be?” you asked as you tilted your head.

Scaramouche smirked, his snarky demeanor returning full force. “Oh, it would be magnificent, of course.” he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “A constellation so small and insignificant that only the most discerning eyes could even notice it. But to those who do, it would symbolize independence, resilience, and a refusal to conform to the expectations of others.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his dramatic description. “So, basically, it would be the epitome of your personality?” you teased, earning a playful glare from Scaramouche.

“Exactly.” he said with a smirk, his snark momentarily replaced by a hint of pride. “After all, why settle for blending in when you can stand out in your own unique way?”

You nodded, impressed by his answer. “I guess everyone sees the stars differently, similar to how everyone sees you differently.” you remarked, reflecting on the conversation.

Scaramouche grinned, his snark softened by a rare moment of genuine warmth. “Well, aren't you full of surprises?” he quipped, before quickly adding, “but don't let it go to your head.”

As you glanced up at the night sky, Scaramouche's eyes followed yours, lingering on the stars above. For a brief moment, there was a flicker of something in his expression, as if hinting that maybe, just maybe, you could be a constellation in his own private sky. But before you could dwell on the thought, his trademark smirk returned, and he brushed off the moment with a casual remark, leaving you to wonder if you had imagined it all.

Slowly, his fingers intertwined with yours, his gaze remained fixed on the celestial canvas above, as if drawing strength from the vastness of the universe. “I wanted to be your tomorrow so I lived today, the past and future.” he murmured, his voice soft yet filled with a profound sincerity that touched your heart.

“I'm happy… truly.” you replied, returning his warm smile as you too turned your gaze upward, feeling a sense of connection to something greater than yourselves.

“Ever since the first day I saw you until now, in my heart, it’s only you. Every time I look up at the night sky, it reminds me of you. Anything around me makes me want to treasure you.” Scaramouche confessed, his words carrying a weight of affection that resonated deeply within you.

Scaramouche's tender touch sent a shiver down your spine, his fingers tracing delicate patterns across your skin as he leaned in closer, his breath warms against your cheek. In that intimate moment, his words hung in the air, heavy with emotion and vulnerability.

“But such words are commonly uttered, I want to say something new too… something that you've never heard…” he whispered, his voice soft yet filled with an intensity that left you breathless.

With a gentle smile, you reached up to cup his cheek, your fingers brushing against the stubble on his jawline. “That's alright though, I love and accept any affection you want to give me in any way, shape, and form.” you reassured him, your voice barely above a whisper as you gazed into his eyes, reflecting the depth of your feelings.

“Because they’re such common words, I was worried they wouldn’t sound sincere… please… reassure me,” he choked out, his grip tightening slightly.

Feeling Scaramouche's vulnerability in the trembling of his touch, you gently caressed his cheek, your thumb soothing the tension that lingered there.

“Scaramouche,” you whispered, your voice soft yet steady, “every word you speak carries the weight of your sincerity. And currently, as you bare your heart to me, I feel the depth of your emotions echoing in every syllable.”

Leaning in closer, you pressed a tender kiss to his forehead, a gesture of reassurance and understanding. “Your love is not measured by the novelty of your words, but by the authenticity of your intentions.” you murmured, your breath mingling with his in the space between you. “And in my heart, your affection will always ring true, no matter how familiar the words may be.”

Sensing the tension ease from his frame, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as if to shield him from the doubts that plagued his mind. “So, let go of your worries, my dear.” you whispered, your voice a soothing melody in the silence of the night. “For in my arms, you will always find the reassurance you seek, and in my love, you will always find solace.”

Scaramouche's lips brushed against your knuckles, a tender gesture of affection, his words resonated in the quiet of the night. “You taught me how to love in this world that failed me.” he confessed, his voice carrying a depth of gratitude that touched your soul.

“Thank you, my love.” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity and warmth. With a soft smile, he gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle yet profound. Beneath the shimmering moonlight and the canopy of stars, his lips pressed against your forehead in a gentle kiss, a silent expression of gratitude and love.

#kefimenu #scara x reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #wanderer x reader #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x you #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #fluff #genshin oneshots #genshin x reader #genshin impact #Spotify

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takemeorleaveme · 2 days

Text

why are buddie shippers being called unhinged when the only unhinged I have seen were from BT shippers like hello the hypocrisy is insane to me... if we are gonna lump all the buddie shippers together cause I know there are a few bad ones we are definitely gonna lump all the BT shippers together. the shit I have seen and read from them beats the crazy buddie shippers outta the water I am convinced these people don't even care that buck is Bi Man and will riot if buck ever ends up with a female love interest... buddie shippers are unhinged but ya'll are obsessed with a ship that has only had like 5 scenes together with zero chemistry 2 of those were kisses and those 2 kisses were the only moments that didn't feel like they were straight male friends lmao I don't even care if buddie happens or not at this point I just find it funny af that buck has more sexual tension with his straight best friend than he does his love interest... you do not care that he is Bi-sexual you only care that he kissed a man obviously because ya'll just threw eddie in the trash (literally killing him off) once you guys finally got what you wanted.... & I am sick and tired of you guys pretending like thats not the truth you don't care about buck or his storyline most of you probably don't even care about the show and just watch clips about the ship. The way you guys paint buddie shippers as unhinged but go outta your way to tag buddie just to annoy buddie shippers and start something its ridiculous... also the way you praise a man for wanting to interact with fans but the only way he's interacting with the shippers is if they pay him 145 dollars in this economy to answer questions he has no answers to and to make up stories for your ship because you have nothing to go off of is the fucking icing on the cake for me.. when we get free buddie content from both ryan and oliver so I'll stay over here losing in the buddie ship & ya'll can have your non developed canon ship and keep paying money to a nepo baby to get your non existent storyline... & I HOPE YA'LL SEE THIS YOU WANT TO POST IN THE BUDDIE TAG AND FLOOD BUDDIE BECAUSE WE ARE SO UNHINGED BUT THE SHIT BT SHIPPERS DO AND SAY TO RILE UP BUDDIE SHIPPERS IS TRULY ANNOYING.

#buddie #eddie x buck #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #oliver stark #ryan guzman #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard

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rattkachuk · 1 day

Note

Hello! Hope you are having a good day.

So I have a question for you, just ignore when you don't feel like answering.

I came to Mattdrai via the enemies/rivals to lovers tag and then got sucked into hockey. I really like the fanon take on Leon, fav character, fanon Matthew was fine but way too woobified and infantilized in so many fics. So my surprise when I started to watch games, interviews etc. Public Matthew is so confident, so loving, awesome family to back him up, especially Brady, hot as hell, sexy way of playing hockey, amazing public persona. Loved and respected by his team, beyond hockey.

Then Leon. His only trait seems to be that he's pissy which I can appreciate but it seems that he's just a downright mean, arrogant guy with a superiority complex (see that interview when he puts Silovs down.) I don't find him stoic at all but he's just seems boring and bland and yeah, pissy. It doesn't seem like he has fun or likes his team a lot or is liked by them (Connor aside and his skills aside.) His friendship with Connor seems the only endearing or likeable thing. He even looks good in a bland way and his hockey is while it's so skillful it's not hot and also I wonder why his dirty plays aren't called out more often.

So what do I miss? Where does great fanon Leon come from? Why is he written mostly so superior to Matthew and where comes the "his team likes Leon so much but Matthew is an outcast in his own team come from?) It's so far from what I gather from old and new interviews or games and I have watched a lot, also German interviews. I really would like to like Leon, shipping them had been more fun when I didn't find his public self so jarring. What do I not see what everyone else seems to get?

Sorry for the long ask! Have a great day and thank you

first off thank you for such a thought out ask! i don't get to dive into things like this a lot outside of writing fic and it got my brain gears going.

to get right into the bulk of this ask: i get what you are saying about leon. that can be the way he comes off for sure, and look everything i'm gonna say? i'm talking out of my ass here. i don't claim to know anything about him as a person besides what's publicly presented, and i don't have much right to theorize about why he is the way that he is, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about it. how would i write rpf otherwise, right 💀

i think he cares a lot. and i think sometimes he gets so wrapped up in things, how things should be, how he should be performing, etc, and when it doesn't go a certain way he gets frustrated and snarky (eg, pissy comments and such). but i don't see that being bad necessarily, especially when it's seems to come from such a team oriented state of mind. which, i dont think he dislikes his team at all? i think if anything, he has a sort of blind faith in his team, and that's the only context i could see a 'superiority complex' making sense in. and yah maybe a little misplaced at times, but ultimately i think it comes from believing so fully in his team and not seeing that come to fruition. he really does not seem to care about his individual performance much at all, so how self obsessed can he be? when i think about leon i just see someone that is ultimately very passionate and committed to the game he plays. i'm also curious to know where you get the vibe that his team doesn't like him? simply because i never got that impression from any of the other oilers, they all seem like they're obsessed with him.

beyond hockey, i see a caring, sweet, kindhearted individual. anytime i see a picture or vid of him interacting with bowie, or even the things his girlfriend posts about him, the comments he leaves for people on ig, and yah of course in the way he talks/acts around connor, i see fragments of someone soooo different than the little two minute post game interviews (which, can we judge any hockey player on those? i think they all hate them dfkjgsd). it's not always something i actively go digging for or have examples of the top of my head, but i do see it, and it definitely goes into creating the version of leon that i have in my mind.

hey, and, he's a silly guy!!! please, i know the reputation is pissy and humourless, ESPECIALLY in fic, but that man is so funny. so many random offhanded comments that make me pause and then laugh. a different sense of humour but it's so there. i love the sandcastle vid from the asg last year and feel like it's a good example of that, all sunburnt and happy. also hey, big man in tune with his fear of the ocean? love that. that little vid of him dancing on the ice earlier this season, those halloween photos where he's dressed as a monkey, every time he talks to a kid. hell, seeing him in warmups and watching the way he takes time to interact fans?? loveee watching warmups but i'd never had a player actually acknowledge my existence before leon!

also i really enjoy his personality on the ice, i like the rat behaviour and the sassy comments that he makes to other players/refs, i like the bitch moves, and i like his hockey too. i think his game is dependable and like you said skillful, and while maybe not the most creative, the sureness and the technical aspect it is hot to me. so my thoughts on everything are probably skewed in that regard.

anyways this was just a whole lot of rambling about why i find him interesting, endearing even, but i understand the perception you have. i don't like some players that other people love, just cause i cant see what they see. and honestly that's sometimes just the way it is! if you don't like leon, maybe u just don't like him and thats fine.

disclaimer that i have only been on hockeyblr for a couple years, and really didn't spare many thoughts for leon til the beginning of the 22/23 season. truthfully i'm hardly the person to ask about leon imo, but of course i have thoughts anyways! if someone else with more knowledge reads my bit of rambling here, please feel free to chime in and add your voice to this!

and side note, ofc, i have to touch on this bc who would i be if i'm not one to talk about matthew; in the way of m.tkachuk, i think that in the early days of mattdrai it was maybe a fair take away during his time with the flames (minus the woobifying). even though he was loved so much here and had some fucking times, and i think the team was mostly good to him (player wise if not regarding management, that is), i see such a stark difference now that he's on the panthers. he seems much happier and more confident, and obviously he's clicking with the cats on another level, and i do see a shift in how he's been portrayed in fics since tbh.

#asks #anon #this is really all over the place #but hopefully there's something of value in this rambling #and if not thats fine too #honestly all a matter of perspective and vibes that u like ultimately #and i like leons vibes #whether thats from truth or projection who knows!!#also i didnt touch on 'he doesn't look like he's having fun'#but i would say i think the oilers as a whole need to have more fun #but i think i see him enjoying himself out there quite a bit #also the mean comment i dont see him being a mean individual at alllll #ahhh idk this post is so long sorry!!!#but thank u anon for taking the time and dropping this in the ask box #some things i really hadnt put too much thought into #anyways im gonna bow out here bc im just gonna keep going if i dont stop myself #anyone feel free to tack on to any of this!!

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growling · 11 hours

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*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

#mine #actually autistic #actually npd #actually plural #ableism #sanism #npd stigma #bpd stigma #pluralmisia #<- gonna add on to these later i am. bad at tagging warnings #i needed this off my chest like. can these people stop #dont know how comprehensible this is im bad at articulating myself #long post

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raayllum · 21 hours

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im new to the fandom, so I miss a lot of the discourse (helped ofc by the fact you're kinda the only dp blog I follow), so everytime you mention the s4 backlash I'm like....how in the world could people hate that season or rayllum in it? It doesn't compute for me!

The last ship I was particularly engaged with, has a lot of similarities with rayllum. They were best friends, life partners before they were ever /romantic/ life partners. And they went through a /lot/ of trauma, miscommunication, and being on opposite sides of the same fight, etc etc.

the difference to rayllum was that they never rlly gave each other the grace they need. They also never talked on screen, but unlike rayllum it wasn't because it was the best option for them, it's just that the writers didn't want to include it ever - to the point that when they finally did an episode addressing it, it landed...very flat? Because it was about six seasons in, addressing things as far back as the second season, that they'd apparently never spoken to each other about before (they were tragically engaged when this happened).

Rayllum GENERALLY but especially in s4 have a really special place in my heart, because they feel very realistically messy - but it doesn't feel like it's there so there's some drama to keep audiences hooked. It feels authentic, and is one of those rare cases where it strengthens their relationship. I definitely could buy that rayllum would survive anything that hit their relationship by the end of s3, but getting to actually SEE that and see how much they're willing to work through out of love and respect for each other? Fantastic.

(also like it's such good character development....i am with u in the s4 defense squad. is there a squad? If there is I'm in it)

First off welcome to the fandom and I hope you're having a good time!!

The fact that my blog is mostly discourse free cause while I tag accordingly (fandom nonsense and dragons gets salty for potential blacklisting purposes) I always worry I can dip too far into that on occasion (I do my best not to unless being called out by name, and even then mostly do my best to ignore stuff), but there's not too much discourse within TDP in general — at least not in the Rayllum corner, luckily.

I think that's why the S4 backlash really surprised and threw me for a loop, because my partner and I finished the season at like 7AM on release day and while different than expected, we loved it and thought it was great from the start. Then we went online and people in the fandom who I'd largely always agreed with were having a really hard time with the season and it was disheartening at least to not have many people to talk to about why 1) S4 is TDP's thematically strongest season thus far and that's still true, 2) it's Ezran's best season imo, and 3) it does a lot of things really really well in really interesting ways.

I always try to never come down Too Hard on the s4 backlash just because people are of course entitled to their feelings/opinions then as well as now (even if some people's tunes have definitely changed), but a lot of it did feel sometimes short sighted if not immature.

Like soo many people are still mad that Rayla and Callum broke up in an offscreen graphic novel, when S4 would still be S4 regardless of whether TTM existed and like... if Rayla worrying that she failed (again) and went off on her own (again) to protect Callum was a big logical leap, then that person honestly just wasn't paying attention; there's not much else to say there. I also think it's just a strange choice to assume that Nothing Major would change the second you find out about a timeskip; like, almost everything else is status quo, Rayla being gone is the One Major Change and people couldn't handle that being a Surprise?

Like you said, conflict between a couple is not inherently a bad thing; it can be good and interesting, and this was always a relationship hurdle I think a lot of Rayllums (myself included) expected Rayla and Callum to have to tackle. Not liking how extreme or 'dramatic' it was (ie. season long arc > just a few episodes, or Rayla leaving > just trying to leave) is fair enough, but given that it's rooted in so much of Rayla's character, I'd much rather take a long way around approach that's in depth. I'm also just Glad and Grateful that the show is tackling it and treating it like the issue it is rather than sweeping things under the rug.

The fact that Callum's version of anger wasn't the one people wanted is another issue, but again — his anger went the way I'd always thought it might if he just went through enough trauma, and even if he had yelled at her, I don't think the season would've necessarily gone any different than it did other than them crying more early on. Which I've written and wouldn't have minded, but I also don't dislike the alternative route canon took — of course they were never going to get all variations out there, but Callum is cold as hell and being a bit of a jerk while also being valid and tempering himself because he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she wants to hurt him (and Callum has always been very very bad at being/staying mad with Rayla or Ezran anyway).

I saw a lot of pushback against Rayllum being 'platonic' (which was annoying as an aromantic person lemme tell you, as though platonic is lesser), being "broken up for no reason" (Rayla being hyper-independent was not a secret and always going to be what threatened to rip them apart; they are also still Visibly and Repeatedly In Love with each other how is that broken up), or that they didn't get to have a Big Feelings Time in S4.

With that in mind, there's a lot that also matters in a relationship beyond just Open Communication, tbh. There's going to be times in life where you're not able to or unwilling to talk about certain things (given that S4 is maybe a week, I think that's reasonable; especially when Rayllum still haven't talked to each other about it as of s5 and no one I saw have an issue in S4 about it has complained about it there) and like... how do you treat each other when you're still mad or confused and haven't talked everything out? Do you still take care of each other, are you still doing your best to be considerate of each other (even if you're also not going to be perfect)? That shit matters just as much if not more as people able to sit down and hash things out.

I think the truth is a lot of the things that pissed people off about S4 would've been true even if the opposite things had happened:

N'than is flat and under developed unlike Ellis → N'than is more developed → why is N'than taking away from screentime for other characters?

The Sunfire plotline feels disconnected from the rest of the story (nvm that Viren's arc from 1x06 onwards doesn't affect any main character again until 3x04) → the Sunfire plot line has more connections to the main cast crammed in → more complaints about pacing and things feeling overly stuffed, as scenes already change from one to the next quite clearly

Callum and Rayla have a big talk sometime between 4x03-4x07 → this doesn't give Callum enough time to be angry / makes him seem unreasonable because he's admitted he was mostly worried but is still not fully letting her in despite her spilling her guts to him (and in what world would Rayla give excuses, again, when she knows he's the one hurting and taking priority in her mind)

S4's humor was bad because there were fart jokes (in one episode) → the crowlord's joke is so much worse than the fart jokes imo and is on par with the walnut joke in 1x06. also 1-2 scenes with jokes that didn't work for you out of 9 whole ass episodes is like. you're just a wuss i'm sorry

The Sunfire plot line is boring → will never not feel like "I just can't connect or be interested in politics and religious disagreements when it's mostly about Black people for Some Reason (racism)" to me tbh

There was no way to please everyone especially after a three year hiatus (because people think, For Some Reason, that how much time it takes for a story to come out should change how that story is written and it really, really doesn't) but yeah. The internet showed their asses and I was Not Impressed lmao

TLDR; a lot of the S4 backlash was "I'm mad this isn't happening now and I'm stressed out/worried that it won't be" as opposed to "this is only a problem if it never happens at all, but I have faith that it will," and I will love S4 forever. The Callum-Viren parallels being ramped up, the theme of duality and moving "doing terrible things for love" to the forefront with multiple characters (Rayla, Terry, Viren, Claudia), seeing Ezran step into his role as king, Callum's arc being shown > told, the set up for the possession plot line, Janaya's engagement and relationship development + Amaya and Janai's independent arcs? Chef's kiss. S4 is my best friend and its Rayllum dynamic is on par with S3 for me, and I am very grateful the fandom's attitude towards s4 and s4 Rayllum is a lot warmer / more reasonable now

When Callum says "unconditionally" in 5x01 and all their stuff in S5 we know and believe it because we've seen them fight and work so hard to come back from some pretty terrible brinks in imperfect ways, and I'll always love s4 for that. The most aspec Rayllum season by far

#thanks for asking #anonymous #also feel free to come off anon and message me if you'd like! i promise i don't bite and that i am a loser (affectionate)#long post #s4 is my best friend #s4 #arc 2 #which is saying something bc s2 and s1 rayllum is also SO GOOD #like it never has to be anyone's favourite by any measure. but it is just NOT a bad season or handling of the characters #it's just not

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fahbee · 6 months

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can someone point me towards a good post or two (or three or four) discussing that ofmd meta on ao3? i'm too curious and i want to know what it's about without actually having to read all 70k words, pure and uncut lol. basically i'm interested in an objective summary, opinions about it from rational people, maybe some good quotes pulled, etc.

#ofmd #i'm tagging this #the izcourse #and #izzy critical #in the hopes that people in those tags will see this

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killjoy-prince · 3 months

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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode

#house md #prince's talk tag #flashing #repitition #so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode #so i wanted to see how many times they did it #the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do #thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day #sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances #there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show #but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it #where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that #i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh #one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there #out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are #House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park #this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own #there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this #there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time #EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title #but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time #well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video #I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it #AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe

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ratuszarsenal · 5 months

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very funny to me that every polish person who watched 1670 on here is writing posts begging non-polish people to watch it. including me.

#the translation in subtitles is genuinely good I specifically paid attention to see what it's like #adding this in tags because I don't want the post to come off as bitter:#you see posts along the lines of 'we Need more non-western period dramas' or 'enough with the british and french people in period films'#but when we actually get those no one is watching <3 #I'm not upset about that it's just very funny to me. RIP 1670 I don't have high hopes for your foreign reception #1670 #echo

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saltpepperbeard · 10 months

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HAPPY RELEASE NEWS DAY, Y'ALL

#OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD Season 2 #Revenge Rambles #I'm having to sort of pick myself up because I had an ATROCIOUS day at work #So if my energy doesn't seem NEARLY as chaotic as it should be...that's why lmao #But MAN if it isn't so so beautiful and so so lovely to see so much ENERGY abound again #Like seeing those tags GLOW #SEEING THE TAGS TREND #AFTER SO MANY MONTHS SHKDJSLLDK #AFTER SO MANY INSTANCES OF PEOPLE GETTING THEIR HOPES UP #LIKE LMAO WILD #STILL DOESN'T FEEL REAL #MY BRAIN STILL HASN'T ENTIRELY CAUGHT UP

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whereismyhat5678 · 5 months

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Guys, the new year hasn’t started for me yet, I still got a few hours to go but I’ll mine-as-well make this post since I’ll probably go to bed anyways- 😂

First, I’d like to say

WE GOT A NEW BANNER LET’S GOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️

HELL YEAH! -I mean it’s just the characters but- HELL YEAH‼️‼️‼️‼️

SECOND. I want to show you something AMAZING and that something I’d never expect??

321 FOLLOWERS????

YOU GUYS ARE INSANE THANK ALL OF YOU SO MUCH MY GOD‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

It really makes me think how all of you guys really like and appreciate my art, and the fact that so many people encourage me to keep doing it, it brings me to tears! 🥹

Every one of you are the best thing in my life!! The first time I got Tumblr I started in:

March 30?? That’s insane- 💀

And the fact that I’ve improved SO MUCH is just INCREDIBLE!

You wanna see the FIRST drawings of Peppino??

YEAH THAT’S ME I DID THIS-

And you’re telling me that this was in what- THE START OF MARCH?? (Or February I don’t remember-) But this is just the PINNACLE of how much I’ve changed in terms in art style and experience.

I bring this up because I think Tumblr is the REASON why I improved so much! I experimented with brushes (digitally) and I found my brushes!! I learned how to EXAGGERATE AND ACTUALLY DRAW CARTOONY LIKE I’VE WANTED TO FOR SO LONG!!

(And NEVER took an art class. That’s fucking what- 💀 I need to take one I actually need to at this point-)

Also also also- I’ve learned a lot of things! Anatomy, exaggerative expression, stretchy cartooniness, ALL OF THESE ARE JUST- I can’t believe I’ve learned all this because one day I decided: “Maybe I should ACTUALLY get a social media for my art? 🤔” AND I DID IT AND CHANGED MY LIFE‼️‼️‼️

YOU GUYS CHANGED MY LIFE!-

My followers!- My mutuals/friends- I NEED TO SAY HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE ALL MY MUTUALS, ALL OF YOU 💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

Everything about Tumblr has changed me in SUCH a positive way in not only terms of art but with how many people (TALENTED PEOPLE) I’ve made FRIENDS with AND ACTUALLY got to know!!!

I already said it but you guys are absolutely AMAZING and I just CAN’T FATHAM how much this year has just been a BLAST.

My mutuals:

@noodletime @moon9931 @marclef @margarita-the-pizzeria-worker @lucia-the-mii @lovestryke @lord-yiikes @ijusthavefun @linhfoxmoive @kate-bot @nomlioart @boogiestronic80s @zedortoo @jarroyave4637 @atlaslovesedm @alaskacoolkid1 @remaking-machine @average-amount-of-chaos @cherryxsapphic @dingle-dee @eyeballdrawer @tailsdollsnewlife @radaverse @gongustheawsome01 @fluffygiraffe @qwertykeyboard045 @w00den-h3ad @the-little-knight @oddpizza @misdreavusplush

(OKAY- I may have added some people on here that I think ARE REALLY COOL, I may not talk to you much but I’ve seen you guys like my art and I think ya’ll deserve to be on here 🫶💖✨)

AND IF I MISSED ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME I’M SO SORRY BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE ALL OF YOU THE SAME (Platonically) I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR AND HAVE A GOOD ONE 🎉🎉🎉

GOOD NIGHT TO ALL YOU LOVELY PEOPLE YOU GUYS MEAN THE WOLRD TO ME AND HAVE A GREAT NIGHT 💖💖💖💖

#HAPPY NEW YEARS‼️‼️‼️ 🎉🎉🎉🎉#(Even if it hasn’t started for me yet- 😅)#For all the people I tagged I really hope you don’t mind- I seriously love you guys and since some I see VERY OFTEN on here-#And again for anyone I did not tag I appreciate you just the same 🫶🫶🫶#MAN my art has improved-#If I did one of those art of the year thingys my art would look SO DIFFERENT you’d think that someone else did it- 💀#I still like it tho- as much as I like how I draw Peppino now I still actually like how the first time I drew him #He looks silly and rounder- And I kind of like that- 😂#I’m not gonna ramble as much in the tags since the actual post is- DAMN-#Still. Hope you guys have a wonderful New Year 🎊🎊 Gonna try and do the most in terms of art this year. And I can’t wait for this Tumblr’s #birthday! 😄🎉💞#I love ya’ll so much. 💋💋 (If you don’t do platonic kisses hugs will do if you consent 🫶🫶)

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tomorrowillbeyou · 1 year

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alright, i'm not sure how much of this is already commonly known but i have been investigating the source of these images:

and this video:

youtube

a comment on this blog post suggests that they were taken in sydney:

the upload date of the video also dates the events to before january 2008. we know that tucker rule and james dewees were there. the song they're singing is gloves by reggie and the full effect:

youtube

for these reasons, i THOUGHT that the photos and video were taken at the sydney entertainment center on november 30th 2011. reggie and the full effect opened for mcr that night and gloves was on their setlist:

this is backed up by this youtube comment on the dancing queen video talking about fluxuation in sydney (i unfortunately can't find the video it mentions but the channel is here):

tucker talks about playing for mcr in australia in 2007 in this podcast clip:

youtube

this was what i THOUGHT. and i was going to post this but i thought i should do a little more research just to see if i could find anything more. and i stumbled across this livejournal post:

every single image on the post is broken. but i'm pretty confident that the pictures we all know and love were in there.

^this one especially seems to line up. they were taken at a bar called the lobo plantation in sydney on november 29th 2011.

the captions of the other pictures make me SO mad that they were deleted. im so fucking curious. well thank you to deleted livejournal user theyoungpretend for (probably) being the one to post these historical images. if anyone knows of any way to access the rest pls lmk (tinypic went down and all the images hosted on there were deleted)

also this picture seems to have been taken on the same night??

here are some more (questionably worded unfortunately. like some of these are really insane) posts which mention what happened:

x (i think this may be from one of the people in the picture above?), x, x, x (hidden in. ryan ross/matt cortez fic?), x, x, x, x, x, x (masterpost where almost all the links are broken). ive saved all of these on the wayback machine in case they ever get deleted.

this iconic ray moment was the day after btw:

youtube

if anyone has any more info or any pics PLEASE let me know!!!!!!

#even if this already is common knowledge i havent seen any posts that talk abt it so . im educating the people #mcr #ray toro #tucker rule #james dewees #<- tagging those involved in the incident. i guess #there are also video links in the livejournal but im not putting those in the post out of deep sympathy for tuckers digital footprint.#im guessing 90% of people wont click the link but if anyone does or sees these tags um. there they are i guess #im SO serious abt the videos btw be normal pleaaaseeeee #ya this is what i stayed up all night for and now my head hurts. lmfao well i hope its of use to at least someone #if i notice a mistake in this after i post ill acc kms #tucker lean deep dive!

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sciderman · 2 months

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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

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