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pynkhues · 1 year

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I love all your succession thoughts in your tags haha. Connor self-correcting about Logan not even liking him because it upset Kendall and Shiv 😭 him comforting all three even though he got left out, again (but didn’t complain). so Big Brother, and I especially love how different Kendall is as the eldest to Roman and Shiv versus as Connor’s little brother. so good and so sad ):

Ahah, thank you, anon! And yes! God, I could talk about Big Brother Connor all day because I love everything about him, not just in terms of his character, but what he means for the story. The show would be worse off without him, not just because Connor's an interesting character and Alan Ruck's wonderful in the role, but because Connor plays as such a neat, narrative shorthand to immediately undermine Kendall's entitlement when it comes to being the clear heir, and the trickle down effect that has on all the dynamics in the show is just so good. It'd be a really, really different show without him.

More to your point though, I really do love Connor's dynamics with all three of his siblings, and I know everyone particularly loves Connor's dynamic with Roman at the moment (which, gosh, I do too!) but I do think I find Connor and Kendall's a more interesting one overall.

All the dynamics are different, but Connor's and Kendall's just marks such a shift in terms of both their places within the family unit. Roman's always the youngest son, Shiv's always the youngest and only daughter, but Connor and Kendall both feel as though they are the eldest son and something else too. There's a version of Connor that's an only child - he has a different mother, he's so much older, he's an outsider more than he is an insider with his little half siblings, and there's a version of Kendall that's a middle child, a little brother; even once, for a few years before Roman and Shiv were born, a youngest son.

In so many ways, Kendall's birth is symbolic for Connor in a way that Roman and Shiv's aren't. It was the end of a period in his life (fifteen years, as Alan Ruck has said), where he was an only child, and the beginning of him having a family beyond his parents. An imperfect one, sure, and I imagine all three of the Golden Trio were absolute nightmares as kids, haha, but I think Connor loves them deeply and in some ways I think they probably saved him. From what the show's peppered in, I can't even fathom what his life would've been like if it had just been him, Logan and his mother, and honestly, it's hard to imagine what Kendall, Roman and Shiv's lives would've been like without Connor too. From childhood camping trips to him being there to walk Shiv down the aisle before Logan decided to show up, Connor's role in their lives is irreplacable and, yeah, taken for granted.

But of course, there is this strain there when it comes to Kendall being so regarded as heir apparent for so long, and I do think it complicates Connor's relationship with Kendall a bit. I think it's easier with Roman - they're the cast offs together, y'know? - and with Shiv too - her gender disadvantages her even more than Connor's mother disadvantages him - but I also don't necessarily think it complicates it as much as either of them think it should. After all, Kendall's not a clear cut golden child, he's not a perfect image of or for their father, and for every time he's an overconfident, brown-nosing, entitled little prince, he's also an anxious stammering, insecure, submissive little boy with addiction issues, and while Connor can chafe and roll his eyes at the former, he seems to be pretty soft and protective when it comes to the latter.

And I think on the flipside, Connor's presence as the eldest son does feel undermining to Kendall. He really clearly tries to position himself as the oldest and the heir, not just in the business, but in the family, and the fact that it's not technically true I think is this kind of awesome character note that underscores all the ways Kendall performs as something he's not. He's not a killer, he's not the eldest, he's not the heir, he's nobody and he's nothing, and it eats him up, and kind of interestingly, I think Connor's the only person Kendall doesn't seem to perform for. He performs for Roman and Shiv all the time, but when it's just him and Connor, they tend to just be Kendall and Connor, warts and all, and I think that's indicative of a safety a little sibling often only finds in an older sibling, especially one who gives as much as Connor gives to them.

#also correct me if i'm wrong but i'm p sure connor and kendall were the first mutual sibling i love you we got way back in 1.08?#anyway i just!#love them!#and god #just the last two eps with kendall actually trying for a minute with the rehearsal dinner and then being such a watery calf-eyed baby #and not being able to tell him their dad died #it just!!!#gets me!!!!!!!#connor + kendall #connor roy #kendall roy #hbo succession #succession spoilers #succession 4.03 #succession meta

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archivyrep · 1 year

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Amphibia's folly and the stereotypical archives [Part 4]

Continued from part 3

Anyway, to get out of the archives, they break down a wall, destroying a part of the structure. Sprig crawls through the pipes, arriving in the nearby town, and then runs back, saving Anne. While she is glad to be saved, Anne is angry, noting that the trip out of the valley is how she will get home, saying that they can't mess it up. However, when attempting to save her, he and Anne fall back inside, trapped there. Hilariously, Anne says they are ok because they landed on books, with Sprig adding that "knowledge hurts," reminding me of Finn hitting Jake with a book in one of the episodes of Adventure Time. That's it for the episode. It was more positive than I thought. But it does traffic in some stereotypes about archives.

Reprinted from my Wading Through the Cultural Stacks WordPress blog. Originally posted on July 30, 2020.

Perhaps, we should take Schmuland's recommendation that archivists should start "popularizing their own images of the profession to replace inaccurate or negative images," but also must educate themselves on the stereotypes, then "clearly define how reality differs from the stereotype." [6] I believe my friend fulfilled this in some of their fictional writings, like a recent story entitled "The Universe Runs Through It: Cheering Gargantians, Snotty Peridots, Calm Etherians, and a Perplexed Kipo." It features some great scenes within an archives, especially one where characters watch an oral history interview of another character, and a chief archivist. I am proud of my friend for having such characters and centering archives within their story.

One may ask if the archives in Amphibia is truly an archives. If we define an archives as an institution or organization, whether physical or online, which preserves first-hand documentary heritage (deemed to not only be inactive, irreplaceable, and unique but have permanent or long-term value) or long-term memory of a particular group, whether a business, government, or otherwise non-governmental organizational, or an individual, then this would be more of a repository. Although perhaps you could go to the archive in Amphibia to gather first-hand data, facts, and evidence about the past from various records. The fact that there is no archivist is, again, unfortunate. This is because archivists work to help users find the information they are working for, run the archive, care for, and control records. Such records are not seen as the truth but only a contemporaneous record from a specific organization or individual, with the archives having the authenticity, reliability, integrity, and usability in order to be a trusted resource by society. The latter is the case in this instance.

The Society of American Archivists (SAA) defines a library as a "collection of published materials, including books, magazines, sound and video recordings, and other formats." This archives would fulfill that. However, it is more accurately a "place where things can be stored and maintained; a storehouse," the SAA's definition of a repository. Their definition also notes that this can refer to "any type of organization that holds documents...including manuscripts, photographs, moving image and sound materials, and their electronic equivalents." The fact that these materials seem to have enduring value leans toward this being an archives, so I'm going to stand by that in this case. Although, it is not known if this archives is organized "using the principles of provenance, original order, and collective control" and it appears that all the records are permanent. Even so, we can say with complete certainty that this is not a records center.

Notes

[6] Schmuland, Arlene "The Archival Image in Fiction: An Analysis and Annotated Bibliography." The American Archivist 62, no. 1 (Spring 1999): 52-53. I used Chicago Manual of Style 17th edition (Full note) here.

#archives #saa #society of american archivists #definitions #amphibia #disney #disney animation #anne boonchuy #provenance #libraries #archival studies #archival science #the american archivist #arlene schumland

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hitogatarock · 3 years

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AKUDAMA DRIVE commentary

voice actor cast commentary about the Director's Cut version of Episode 12 that got released on the sixth blu-ray volume.

Kurosawa Tomoyo (Ordinary/Swindler)

Umehara Yuuichiro (Courier)

Hanamori Yumiri (Pupil)

All translations are belongs to me, make sure to credit properly if you plans on sharing this! Enjoy reading!

link source • google doc • twitter post

Kurosawa Tomoyo

character : Ordinary / Swindler

First of all, I was impressed by how the story was spun at a very luxurious scale and easy-to-see speed to watch as a whole.

I prefer the TV version because it has a lot of momentum, but as I embraced the eleven episodes that have taken us this far into the story of the Akudama and how they live in this world, I was grateful for the very delicate ending.

My recommended scene is the conclusion of the Executioner Division, which was added significantly in the second half (of episode 12). The Pupil Executioner is close to an average person in terms of age and gender. Considering that we have now arrived at the result of many choices, I think that including this scene and the conclusion of the Pupil Executioner will finally give us a true sense of this story.

Umehara Yuuichiro

character : Courier

By watching the Director's Cut version, you can understand the characters of the Executioner Division more, and deeply.

The highlight of this version is the scene where the Master Executioner's philosophy and thoughts were passed onto Pupil Executioner, and then to Junior, as when Pupil becomes the "Master".

Although it takes great sacrifices, the scene gives a sense of hope that the Executioner Division and Kansai will be better, and it makes us imagine how the world will be after the story ends.

We hope you will watch the Director's Cut version and enjoy all that Akudama Drive has to offer.

Hanamori Yumiri

character : Pupil Executioner

From Pupil's point of view, you can see the changes in her interactions with the boss over the course of episode 12. What is justice? At first, the answer was fixed in her mind, but after the death of her Master, it became more and more vague and formless. Justice is something that is completely different depending on one's position and environment.

Then what is Akudama and what is the Executioner Division? I can't think of an answer. I think she has learned in this story that justice can take any shape she wants it to.

You can talk about justice, but it is difficult to live with it. It may be evil for someone else. But that doesn't mean it can't die out. Because it (justice) have become an irreplaceable part of someone's life.

How will she, who couldn't be alone until the end, live and what kind of ending will she follow?

We hope you enjoy it.

—————

— translator notes : On the link source, there's also preview pictures of Episode 12 Director's Cut version, so please support by buying the bluray dvd, to fully experience of the "true version" of Akudama Drive's ending!

#my translates #akudama drive #seiyuu #umehara yuichiro #kurosawa tomoyo #hanamori yumiri #hito : seiyuu tl #commentary

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 3 years

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Clairisse Redesign

Hey, as you can see, Clairisse got a bit of an upgrade. I’ve also reworked her story quite a bit.

If you’re interested in learning about this punk angel, feel free to keep reading under the cut.

Before we talk about Clairisse’s backstory, I should explain what angels are in this universe

Angels, like demons, are morally grey, immortal creatures. They are neither good nor bad, and they don’t concern themselves much with mortal creatures outside of work. The general view angels have of mortals is basically that they’re just things that exist, and then die. And that’s it. It’s a sort of unattached, matter of fact way of viewing the world.

In terms of work, angels are like lawyers. While demons hunt down and punish sinners, angels can actually step in and prevent someone from being taken to hell. Usually, this is by given them some sort of task or quest that gives them a shot at redemption. If they succeed, they’re forgiven. If not, down to hell you go. It’s a bit like a plea bargain, except a little more extreme.

Angels are raised in what’s basically heaven, and are kept in a restrictive, specific way of life. So, white robes, being these “pure figures of hope”, yadda yadda yadda. Once they reach a certain age, they’re allowed to go to Earth and do whatever the fuck they want. Some stick with the white robes and purity thing, but most go “alright, how ‘un-pure’ can we make ourselves?”This is because being an angel is really boring. They don’t seek people out to redeem them. People have to seek them out. And since angels are always just sitting around waiting for a job, they have to find some way to occupy themselves. They’re also allowed to choose their names. It works like this: “hey, I know we’ve always called you Bob so that we have something to call you, but hey, if you’re feeling more like a Maurice or a Karen, you go for it.” So a lot of angels have pretty... unique names. In Clairisse’s case, she got stuck between “Claire” and “Reese”, so she decided “Fuck it”, and smooshed them together.

Clairisse was also born with larger, white wings, but had them replaced. Bc yes, angels can do that. Her original wings were too large and just gave her back pain, and when the doctor asked what new wings she wanted, she decided “Give me black and glitter.” (I didn’t draw the glitter in the image above bc... look, I’m lazy, ok?)

Clairisse has always had an appreciation for edgy music, and a hatred for traditional music. Playing an piece of organ music is a sure fire way to get on her bad side, as she’s had to listen to that shit so much growing up that she can no longer stand it. She quickly grew attached to rock music as it was first emerging, and developed an appreciation for the edgier aesthetic brought about by the 90s rock scene. Mainly due to how exciting it all was, seeing people lash out against the system, starting scandals, bringing on a revolution.

She’s had several crushes on women in rock, but never acted on them as hey, they’re mortal, they’ll die anyways. She still nonetheless went to as many concerts as possible, both to watch performances and collect merchandise so she’d have memorabilia of these moments in time. Her biggest crush, however, was on Jadis, back when Jadis was a massive figure in the grunge/rock scene.

Jadis was attractive to many, Clairisse included. She had many songs about having sex or seducing people, which Clairisse already found pretty enjoyable. But then it was revealed that Jadis was a lesbian, which gave a bit of a different context to those songs, and Clairisse loved them. Not only was this new at the time, and rather scandalous, it made Clairisse’s pre-existing crush on Jadis develop further. She even started to miniature covers in her bedroom for fun.

Then Jadis was killed and revealed to be a serial killer, who targeted people high in the industry who were screwing over those with less power. Being an angel with the previously mentioned view on mortals, Clairisse wasn’t broken by this, but was disappointed to see Jadis meet an unfavourable end, and leave a legacy that would make her universally hated. Sure enough, Jadis’ music was quickly pulled from store shelves and radio stations, and her music could only be sold on the black market. Clairisse still kept her memorabilia of Jadis, and continued to listen to her work. She ended up researching Jadis’ life, as she was fascinated by what led to the musician’s actions. Again, with her view about mortal life, she wasn’t as concerned about Jadis killing people as most would be.

Five years after Jadis’ death, Clairisse had been performing at bars for fun, usually doing covers of songs she liked. Jadis had faded from public memory thanks to the media’s erasure of her existence, and Clairisse didn’t encounter any issues preforming covers of her songs.

Then, one night, she came across the last person she expected. She had sensed a demon nearby, and upon approaching to see who it was, to her shock, it was Jadis. Jadis had been resurrected as a demon, cursed with a life where she could see how little her actions did to change things, and how her life had been ultimately pointless. Meeting someone like Clairisse, who still remembered her, was a surprise.

The two started hanging out, preforming together at bars where nobody recognized Jadis. They didn’t develop a romantic relationship for a while however. Since the abuse and murder of Jadis’ girlfriend was what initially sent her on her killing spree, Jadis was hesitant to start a new relationship. With how she “failed” her love, she felt that it wouldn’t be justifiable to begin a new relationship.

However, both Jadis and Clairisse shared a feeling of being bored by the world around them. Clairisse was down for anything remotely exciting, and Jadis, rapidly developing a strong sense of nihilism, stopped seeing how it’d matter for the two to be an item.

What started out as them just living the old lifestyle of rockstars (booze, drugs, sex), however, started to develop into something more. Their relationship had initially been based on finding each other sexy, but as they would have deep discussions together late into the night, they both developed a strong, mutual appreciation for each other. For Clairisse, Jadis was someone who failed to change the world, who saw the ugliest parts of life, and who ironically helped her see the purpose and beauty of the small positives. For Jadis, Clairisse was a ray of light in an uncaring world, the one gift life had actually given her after years of being fucked over, someone irreplaceable and who she couldn’t exist without.

Their relationship is unexpected to those who know them, but, despite who the characters are, they ironically have one of the most stable relationships in the story. The two click, and give each other something to look forward to in life.

Personality wise, Clairisse is usually reserved and doesn’t talk much to people. When she does, she tends to be brash, and comes off as polarizing. She acts as though she has very little patience, and is always preoccupied with something. She exudes an air of confidence when preforming, and is very quick witted. She does now when to act more understanding to others, and it’s here that she shows that she’s very mature and intelligent. She loves speculating on topics and discussing uncertain things with others. She’s also an undeniable lover of gossip and conspiracies.

Power wise, she, like all angels, has cleric like powers, and is capable of creating miniature, separate dimensions that exist for a period of time. She also has the power to bless those with forgiveness, a blessing that protects them from demons

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anakin-skybreaker · 3 years

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A Brief Analysis of Clone Wars Characters Via Knights Radiant Orders

Ahsoka Tano:

It’s been stated that the Edgedancers are the most religious of the Knights Radiant orders. Faith, I believe, is a cornerstone of Ahsoka’s character; faith in the Jedi Order, losing that faith and gaining it in herself, not to mention her faith in Anakin.

A good chunk of her character arc is centered around the common man, learning the plights of the disenfranchised and living up to what the majority of people believe Jedi to stand for without the restrictions of political alignments. Edgedancer ideals fit Ahsoka’s overall arc.

Second Ideal: “I will remember those who have been forgotten.”

Third Ideal: “I will listen to those who have been ignored.”

Edgedancers have the ability to ignore friction which I feel would be well-suited to Ahsoka’s fighting style.

“...they were elegant things of beauty. They could ride the thinnest rope at speed, dance across rooftops, move through a battlefield like a ribbon on the wind.” – Edgedancer, page 4.

“When Simol was informed of the arrival of the Edgedancers, a concealed consternation and terror, as is common in such cases, fell upon him; although they were not the most demanding of orders, their graceful, limber movements hid a deadliness that was, by this time, quite renowned…” – Words of Radiance, page 20.

Captain Rex:

This might be a controversial choice considering what we know of clones, but Rex is a bondsmith. Sure Honor is a whole, veritable, god on Roshar but Rex is a bondsmith and you can pry that from my cold dead hands.

What do I have for evidence of this? Why, the Second Ideal of course.

“I unite instead of divide. I will bring men together.”

Rex watching his brothers being forced to break their oaths of honor and kill their spren all for Palpatine’s agenda. That hits different, bro.

Honestly, I don’t think I need to go any further but for the sake of it I will.

Having a clone, who many consider to be less than, climb the ranks and become a must in terms on long term warfare just feels good. Long story short, Rex is irreplaceable and he deserves an order which maximizes how irreplaceable he truly is.

Commander Cody:

Here we have our first windrunner proper.

Cody is a good man, a loyal man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t suffer the same ideological differences and hypocrises that plague the Republic. The side he serves condemns slavery and yet he himself and his millions of brothers are a slaves. He is a tool for war yet trying to bring peace. He fights to end the war and yet the Republic refuses to open peace talks.

He’d be the closest to Kaladin, in terms of practically everything; Cody is a child of Honor.

Cody knows how the universe works so he settles on his own code of honor. He will protect those who cannot protect themselves, regardless of his personal feelings toward them. He knows he can’t save everyone, but what’s most important is that he try. Somebody needs to.

Padme Amidala:

Like Rex, Padme would be well-suited to the bondsmiths. She aims to unite instead of divide. But given her role in TCW, however, and her role as the one who steps up to call out people and be the one to spend her life trying to better society, Padme is an elsecaller.

She’s a diplomat at heart, individualistic and esoteric. Padme follows her own logic and goes out on the front line when she deems it necessary. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what Anakin or the Jedi or the Republic says, Padme abides by her own moral compass and what makes sense to her.

“...the Elsecallers were prodigiously benevolent, allowing others as auxiliary to their visits and interactions; though they never did relinquish their place as prime liaisons with the great ones of the spren…”

She is a senator who creates connections between peoples.

Queen Padme Amidala and Queen Jasnah Kholin, while having a lot of political differences and different approaches to warfare, would get along famously.

Padme contributes to the war effort by soulcasting food, medicine, and other necessary materials.

Anakin Skywalker:

Here’s where things get complicated.

If we’re going purely by plot, then Anakin is a skybreaker since that is one of the only orders that suit his personality which would still allow him to “fall to the dark side” while maintaining his oaths.

Also, I’m not going to slide past it. My URL is anakin-skybreaker for fuck’s sake. It would be a crime against nature for a man named Skywalker not to have gravitation manipulation like come on, he was born to fly.

It’s just too good, too fitting. I can also see Anakin saying some variant of Kaladin’s line in Words of Radiance, but during a version of the Rako Hardeen arc. “You sent him to the sky to die, assassin, but the sky and winds are mine. I claim them, as I now claim your life.” Though entirely separate, the two have roughly the same amount of melodramatic entrances.

On the other hand, if we’re going for what’s best for Anakin as a person then he’d be either a windrunner or a dustbringer (releaser). The Fourth windrunner ideal says more than I ever could. “I accept that there will be those I cannot save.” Anakin is fueled by ambition so there’s no way he wouldn’t make it to the fourth ideal and then be forced to come to terms with himself and his fears or risk stagnation (or worse breaking his oaths and killing his spren).

As a dustbringer, Anakin would be taught how to control and channel his destructive/violent impulses. Dustbringers get a bad reputation because of their capabilities for mass destruction and because of that shared prejudice, I feel that might help Anakin settle in even quicker than he would in the other orders. Like if he were a windrunner, Anakin would be forced to confront aspects of his personality and truly learn restrain and responsibility.

“Most Dustbringers were tinkers who liked to take things apart to see how they work.”

Dustbringer spren canonically love to break stuff. So, Anakin making friends with a spren that wants him to break stuff because it wants to know what’s inside? 10/10

Obi Wan Kenobi:

A lightweaver in personality and a windrunner in mentality.

It hardly needs saying that Obi Wan is an honorable man. It would come to the point where, even as a renowned lightweaver other people would make comments on it. How he’d be better suited to the windrunners, how “I could’ve sworn you bonded an honorspren” and stuff like that.

Lightweaver ideals are tailored towards the individual, but generally follow the pattern of admitting personal truths. Obi Wan has more than a few truths to admit to himself. He and Anakin would be having an argument, only for his liespren to chime in to call him out going, “mm, lies” and forcing the two to actually talk out their feelings.

He would be Grand Spymaster of the Republic. Obi Wan is already known as the Negotiator, so he’d arrive at the palace of a government he needs to win over for the Republic dressed to the nines, positively glowing, standing at imposing six foot five, where underneath the lightweaving he’s going on three hours of sleep, is wearing yesterday’s clothes, and hasn’t combed his hair in three days.

He’s a lightweaver, but for the life of me I cannot get the image of Windrunner Obi Wan vs. Skybreaker Anakin, battle of Mustafar style, out of my head because the concept of them both being able to control gravity while representing opposite ideologies slaps okay?

Plus, Obi Wan would look immaculate in Kholin blue.

Anakin being busy blowing stuff up, turning canons to dust while Ahsoka skates past him as if solid ground were made of ice cutting through squads of droids while Obi Wan wears the face of the enemy leader and convinces them to surrender? 20/10

Maul:

This one is a lightweaver too and for the same reasons as Obi Wan.

He’s a charismatic bastard and he’d used his abilities to their maximum destructive potential. Just like in Clone Wars, he’d topple governments and overtake civilizations from the inside out.

Lightweavers are not bound by honor so Maul can pretty much do what he wants so long as he’s able to admit truths about himself. Whether he’s successful in doing so remains to be seen.

An important sidenote, Maul has Nightblood.

Maul would have Nightblood and everybody would be in danger.

#ahsoka tano #captain rex #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #maul #darth maul #tcw #the clone wars #star wars #stormlight archive #radiants

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briarrosescurse · 4 years

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🌼 for Roza and Xiang

🌼 Who are this characters friends and found family? How did they meet, how long have they been friends for, could they ever be something more than just friends? What do they look for in a friend or a romantic partner?

roza: to roza, the whole world is her friend - or has at least the potential to be her friend! she is on pretty friendly terms with the majority of people - perhaps not on a personal level, but she is the kind of person to walk past you in the hallway and greet you.

found-family wise would be diasomnia to her. she grew very close to all of them in the span of her time at nrc and holds them incredibly close to her heart - she trusts them blindly, after all. out of the four though, i'd say she has the most tight knit bond with malleus. roza being so open to him and the way she approached him without any hesitation, malleus grew to appreciate her and became very attached her. they both just provide each other the presence they lacked in their lives before! roza even joined the gargoyle research club for his sake.

as for lilia, he (along with malleus) knows of roza's curse and he's been a guiding figure for her. while his antics sometimes tend to freak roza out, she still is very fond of lilia and goes to him for aid! he doesn't hold her hand through her troubles the entire time, but gives her the necessary nudge in the right direction.

silver and roza had a surprisingly rocky start - blame a few misunderstandings. but they both grew to care for each other and they even can relate in some of their rather peculiar struggles. you can regularly find them bickering with one another, but they still work together most of the time.

understandably, like with anyone else, sebek was vary of roza at first - he feared for the worst and thought her "carelessness" could tarnish the reputation of diasomnia and even malleus - but his position towards her took a change for the good as he learned of her noble heritage and got to witness some of her talents. roza grew fond of sebek and his dedication and this sometimes coddles him a little bit.

as for ocs; friend-wise, she has plenty of them, but the ones who are the closest to her would be vinh (@prometheanglory) and alicia (@jabberwockyontheloose) - these two were the first friends she made in nrc and they've been with her from the start on! both of them have very contrasting personalities, all of these three do, but they're still working together wonderfully as a friend group. vinh became someone roza finds admirable in so many ways, but she also grew to realize that they both share plenty of struggles and experiences as noble daughters with powers that can be too much on their own. you can often find roza being the one to cling to vinh's arm and drag her around, but her upperclassman doesn't seem to have anything against it. alicia, on the other hand, is plenty different - often she's the one who drags roza into all kinds of new troubles but brings the good kind of party into her life. even though roza found herself feeling... strangely exposed at the beginning of their friendship, alicia grew to be an irreplaceable friend to her.

romance-wise; roza dreams of meeting the right person - she isn't even picky about who it is or what kind of person they are - as long as they treat her wrongly of course. preferably someone who supports her on her way, but doesn't make all of the decisions. as a child, the prince charming-type of guy appeared ideal, fairy tales and stories of romance were influencing her, and sometimes, the thought still crosses her head, but that had changed over time. just the thought of falling in love seems nice enough.

xiang: well, i don't think i've been subtle with this, but; xiang isn't too keen about romance. however, when it comes to friendship, he does almost a whole 180° turn - he is the kind of friend who drags you back up in his own way in times of need and who brings the party wherever he goes. sometimes he may drag his friends into his whole womanizer schemes, but he'll always have your back. he isn't that horribly picky about his friends, but he likes people who are able to open their mouth and say what they think - just be their most authentic self.

he'd consider pretty much the majority of his friends his found family - the longer you're able to withstand him and his whole spiel, the better buddy he becomes. i'd definitely say that both his fellow dorm member yabu and his leader di xin (@conquer-the-raven) he'd consider part of that category. i think yabu is pretty much the one who'd knock sense into xiang when needed but still recognize his genuine reliability as a friend. di xin, on the other hand, is much more of a leader figure in xiang's eyes, someone he has unwavering loyalty for. hence his persistent nickname chief for him.

outside of his dorm, xiang gets along well with cater! xiang would definitely say they're on friendly terms but admittedly, cannot stand the multiple layers this guy has. he'd wish for him to be a bit more honest and sometimes would purposefully tear into him in order to get that side out - alas to no avail. well, he's still a pretty fun guy.

even though xiang sometimes highkey judges idia for his whole gaming thing as well as his constant urge to stay in his room, but he'd nonetheless considers idia a friend of his. he'd often drag idia out by his ankles out of his room, much to the guy's displeasure and to ortho's joy. they're really unlikely friends (and idia wouldn't even call him a friend, probably) but their relationship is endearing either way.

talking about unlikely friends - the infamous whore squadron! it consists out of xiang, ronaldo and sarge (@/prometheanglory). how it even happened? no one knows. but ronaldo can't seem to get rid off either of them - they're pretty persistent boys. despite all the constant bickering (ronaldo) or the sometimes really freaky stuff (sarge), they both gotta be xiang's favorite buddies.

romantic-wise? well. ignoring xiang's fickle nature, he'd preferably have someone he can rile up with ease - someone whose walls he can break down. it may sound rather brutal at first, but really, it just boils down to xiang being a pesky tease. he likes someone who has similar ideas like he does. he prefers to live in the moment and isn't actively looking for something that lasts until "the end of time". so someone who is on the same wavelength as he is would be pretty ideal.

#sorry that took so long omg #i wrote whole ass paragraphs but tumblr didnt save them so i gave up for a bit fnfnmf #twst oc #rozalina von dorimé #xiang yu #[other]#[my writing]#soft oc asks

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jmariko-blog1 · 4 years

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you live the life you settle with

1. emotional obstacle

During my time in high school, I have only dealt with two major emotional obstacles. The first occurred during my freshman year, when I got into a huge fight with my former best friend, [A], and she no longer wanted to be friends with me. Although I knew the transition from middle school to high school would be difficult, I never expected to lose my best friend in the process. We had been inseparable throughout middle school and I had always considered her my closest friend. However, upon entering high school, I joined cross country and became friends with [L] who she did not like. After growing closer to [L], [A] started cutting me off and stopped talking to me. Although I was hurt, I refused to apologize to her when I felt I had done nothing wrong. I missed talking to her, but I thought our friendship was stronger and we could move past this. However, she never came around. She began talking badly about me to my friends and blocked me on all social media. I was extremely hurt and decided to talk to her. I sent her a long message explaining my side of the story and admitting the things I did wrong. However, she ignored the text, which hurt a lot. I could not understand how we went from being best friends to this. Although we are still on bad terms, looking back, I am thankful she is no longer in my life. She was a very negative person and I have grown a lot from that experience. It helped me find my group of friends who I love and I know care deeply about me.

Secondly, a couple years later, I experienced my second emotional obstacle. My grandfather had passed away. He was my only grandparent who was alive during my lifetime, and the most positive, easy-going person I have ever known. He was ninety-five years old and got sick the summer before my junior year. A couple days after feeling unwell, he was sent to the hospital and later passed away. It was the first death of a family member I experienced, and I had found out from looking at my mom’s phone. I was getting ready to go to my SAT class and I was pulling up the directions on my mom’s phone. I saw a notification from one of her close friends saying, “I’m so sorry. How are you going to tell Jenna?” and I instantly knew. I broke down and started to think of all of the fond memories I had of him and everything he would not be able to experience with me. However, with time I realized how lucky he was to have lived such a long, happy life. He had experienced so much during his time on Earth and he could finally reunite with his wife. In addition, I appreciate all he had done for my family and I. Although he hated traveling, he would always try to come down from San Jose to stay with us for a couple weeks over the summer. We would go on walks, watch Judge Judy and eat lots of Japanese food. He had a big impact on who I am today. From the things we like to our happy-go-lucky personality, we got along very well.

2. past actions

Throughout my two years in cross country, I grew very close to four of my teammates: [L], [O], [E] and [M]. They quickly became my best friends and we did everything together. From waking up at four in the morning for races to dying on eight mile runs, we found ways to make the most miserable experiences fun. However, during our sophomore year, [M] started dating a boy who [L] was close to. After seeing the two together, [L] started getting jealous and ended up kissing [M]’s boyfriend. [M] felt betrayed by [L] and no longer wanted to associate with her at all. She avoided her at all costs and purposely left her out of the rest of the group. [O], [E] and I did not know what to do. We felt bad for [M] and knew what [L] did was wrong, but none of us wanted to abandon [L] when everyone else started turning on her. I did not know how to be there both of them, especially when we were all together during practices and meets. I continued to hang out with both of them separately, letting [M] rant when she needed to and offering [L] advice and support. Although it was rough and tense for a couple weeks, [M] eventually moved on and realized that their friendship was more important than a boy. Our group dynamic slowly began to return to the way it was and [M] ended up being thankful for [L] for helping her realize who he truly was.

It was extremely difficult for me to figure out how to treat this situation at first because I wanted to be able to be there for both of them but did not know how. However, a couple years later, I now know I treated the situation appropriately and the importance of nurturing both friendships during a dispute.

3. current inactions

Being a senior in high school, I feel pressed for time. In a matter of months, my childhood friends and I will be going our separate ways. From going to different colleges and moving to different states to exploring new interests and meeting new people, I do not know where we all will be in the upcoming year. I want to make the most of the time we have left, but with school, work and my horrible procrastination habits, I feel like I never have time. I want to go on spontaneous adventures with my friends and meet new people, but with homework and no car, it is hard to get out of the house. In addition, I feel dependent and trapped without a car. I do not want to have to rely on my parents and friends to drive me everywhere, which often leads to me spending my weekends at home on youtube and tiktok. However, I plan to be more spontaneous and social during second semester. Instead of focusing all of my energy on school, like I have been for the past three years, I understand that I need to balance my school and social life. One bad grade is not going to kill me and it is okay to have fun, even if it is on a weekday.

4. legacy (best friend)

My best friend is [E]. We met in fifth grade in Mrs. [K]’s class and instantly became friends. From middle school orchestra to high school cross country and track, we have spent countless hours together, and surprisingly, are not sick of each other yet.

If I were to pass away tomorrow, [E] would probably remember me for my sense of humor, work ethic and our relationship. We had the ability to make light of any situation, and we could always make each other laugh - which wasn’t always ideal. From getting kicked out of eighth grade english class for laughing too much and too loud to doing the same in ninth grade history, we probably should have paid a little more attention to the class’ lesson. In addition, [E] would probably commend me on my work ethic. From persevering through difficult, steep cross country races to countless hours of studying and working on homework, I have always been very motivated to do well. Lastly, she would probably describe my legacy through our relationship. We have grown so close in the past seven years and our friendship is irreplaceable. We are so comfortable around each other and we are the only people we can completely open up to.

5. legacy (family)

To be honest, I am not sure what my parents or brother would say about me if I were to pass away tomorrow. Growing up in an Asian household, praise was very rare. Excelling in academics and extracurriculars were expected and hardly acknowledged. However, I think my mom would commend me for my strong, independent nature, which she often complimented me on. Being a girl in our current society, she thought it was very important for me to be able to take care of myself and instilled these values in me growing up. In addition, my mom would probably mention my Gold Award as part of my legacy. She had always wanted me to complete it, and being the only girl in my troop to do so, she was extremely proud.

Similarly, my dad would commend me on my work ethic and good grades. Although he was usually pushing me to enroll in harder classes and explore more activities at our school, he was proud of me for always excelling in school. He said he had never had to worry about me or my grades, which was a stressful burden with my brother.

6. epitaph + reflection

“in” - Jack Lemmon

I like Lemmon’s epitaph because it is short, simple and comedical. After passing away, your family is mourning for you and remembering everything you accomplished, and I think it was kind of him to make his friends and family laugh during this difficult time. In addition, I think it is important and unique to be remembered solely by one’s words and sense of humor instead of the time when you were alive.

“Damn, it’s dark down here.” - Thatcher

Similarly, I like Thatcher’s epitaph because he chose a way to spread happiness and smiles even after his death. Instead of having a serious, standard epitaph, he chose to make light of the situation. He made a little, light joke to bring his loved ones some happiness while they mourned his death.

7. epitaph creation

“[J M]. [Month Day, Year]. Mother, Wife, Occupational Therapist. ‘She saw the world and worked to changed it too.’”Ever since I was young, I have always wanted the stereotypical happily ever after story I grew up watching. I want to find happiness through experiences, people, food and music. I want to get married to someone I love and can spend my life with. I want to have a family with a couple of kids and a dog. I enjoy taking care of children and cannot wait to have some of my own. I want a fulfilling job as a school-based occupational therapist, where I can help kids with special needs and learning disabilities. I want to travel the world and make a difference in it. Instead of wasting my potential like many of the characters we learned about, I want to help those around me, along with making sure I maintain my happiness.

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i-d0nt-even-kn0w · 6 years

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SPN Season 14 (and a little bit of 12 and 13) Critiques

Listen, I dislike when people hate new seasons of a show just because “the old ones were better” with no actual excuse, so I hope this post does not get perceived that way, but Supernatural’s writing and directing has decayed over the last few years, and season 14 episode 1 really just did it for me. I tried to ignore season 12′s mess of a storyline because the new characters were well done (in my opinion, of course--and Mary is excluded from this because although the actress is wonderful, I cannot get into her being back in the story for over a season. I’ll go more into that later), and season 13 had Gabriel and Rowena to pull me through the alternate universe plot and Jack who--as I’ll go into later--was another big punch in SPN’s writing integrity, but this one episode from 14 literally had me in shock.

So, with no more introduction, the list of critiques I have based of season 14′s ONE episode. I may pull in a bit of 12 and 13 too because they are where a lot of the issues started. There will be some things I liked about the episode too! But very little lol.

Spoilers ahead! Also opinions ahead--feel free to disagree with me, and I actually would really like to see what other people think!

1. Filmography

That fight scene in the bar says it all. There have been some god awful editing of the footage since 13 (that Michael blue eyes zoom in at the end of 13? Unless they were trying to make a thriller joke, it was wack), but this one episode, like I said before, sent me into shock. The zoom ins, the shaky camera filming like we’re in the Office, the out of place music that does not really fit the Supernatural theme--I could go on. That fight scene had flashing lights, zoom ins, and more jump-cuts than a youtube video to the point we’re I had no idea what was going on. My brother watching with me literally was speechless for the entire fight, which felt like an eternity.

It felt dramatized in a Riverdale way. No shade to Riverdale, obviously, because that works for that show. But in Supernatural? It’s the Teen Titans Go effect--popular shows on a network influence older shows and, in my opinion, make those shows worse as a result. This leaks into my number 2...

2. Theme

It’s the 100. The theme is the 100. The show is the 100. (This is a joke I have never watched the 100, but when did Supernatural adopt a dystopia mood for their show?)

3. Wait a minute....... Who ARE you?

The centric theme of Supernatural is family and freewill. Sam and Dean are supposed to constantly be the centers of the show, but exceptions are made, and often have been really well done. I thought Bitten was a great episode, and episodes where Sam and Dean are separated are also a great way to look at the brothers from a different viewpoint. Even if you didn’t like Bitten or those type of episodes, however, that was okay. Why? Because they were one off episodes, if not maybe two or three. Dean being gone is fresh, and could be done well, but when the centric theme of family, aka people Sam and Dean trust and love like Cas, Bobby, Jo, Ellen, etc, is suddenly ruptured by extras (that are usually super fun in a one-off hunting episode, maybe a reoccurrence now and then) becoming apart of the brother’s daily life and the viewer’s weekly watching, it’s uncomfortable. Not because I or others hate change, but because it goes against a major theme of supernatural. Dean, Sam, and Cas are suddenly extremely close to people they don’t necessarily consider family, and that is very odd for the show.

In case you cannot tell, I care a lot about Supernatural’s themes. I don’t care if they shake things up, but the show’s values are important. They need to stick to them for it to be, well, Supernatural.

4. Not-Bobby and Mary

If they become canon, I’ll actually sink into the pit. You can pair together whoever you want--this one is very much so just an opinion. But in terms of writing, this just comes off as so wrong for many reasons. Maybe it’s because neither of them should be on earth in the first place.

Mary was such a wonderful and powerful character. Then they brought her back to life, which drained meaning out of her. She could have had a realization she does not belong on earth and go back to heaven at the end of 12, which would give Sam and Dean closure and actually be kinda nice. But nope. She’s still here. And what’s the point if the only available female character isn’t dating someone????? (she said, sarcastically)

Not-Bobby is just a way to keep Jim Beaver around, which yeah I get it i love him too, but why not just have some episodes like where Bobby helped the boys from heaven. That was fun. That was also real Bobby. If we were going to have Not-Bobby, I would at least like him to establish what Not-Charlie established (I liked her so much more)--they are not who the Winchesters knew in their universe. Not-Bobby gives off too much of an actual Bobby feel, and God knows I don’t want actual Bobby and Mary together... eeeee...

5. The alternate universe plot-line sucks in the context of Supernatural as a show

Speaks for itself.

6. Jack

Fellas. I’ll get hate for this (if anyone reads this, lol), but he’s a bad character.

He’s fan-service. Fan-service isn’t always bad, mind you, but it is when that is the bases for the character. A cute, younger boy (back to the Riverdale/the 100 teen drama throw in a more adult-centered show) who is reminiscent of all the things fans loved about quirky Castiel back in seasons 4 and 5. Jack was super over powered too, which made me struggle all throughout season 13 to not hate his character for what was just a writing death sentence. Now that he doesn’t have powers they’re finally trying to give him... depth? Pro tip: If it takes a whole season to give a character depth, it’s bad writing.

I’ll admit, though--I do love the dad Sam scenes. Not too much the dad Cas scenes because they’re often poorly written and unlike Cas imo. But eh.

Jack is like an OC. Sounds fun until put into practice.

Why couldn’t they have just... not killed Kevin and had him be the son-character he already was to the boys? Or not kill Charlie and let her be the little-sibling character she was to the boys? Why couldn’t either of those two very important characters become titular main characters instantly after being introduced, like Jack was? Maybe because they’re not white or a dude, respectively? Or because the show didn’t need to fill in the hole Mark Sheppard left for a main character until now? Hmm...

In all realness, Jack is just too poorly written in my eyes to like, but I know people totally love him so please know that’s valid and I get it. I do love the actor, so there’s that.

7. Maggie

WHY DID SHE COME ALONG ON THE TRIP?? SHE COULDN’T USE A BLADE, BUT THEY PICKED HER TO COME ALONG?

I get the quirky humor, but SURELY there were other capable people they could have asked. Maggie is cute, but a throwaway for humor. I was trying to like her because, again, the actress was great and I love some comedy, but not at the expense of reason.

Also, again, no offense but I cannot deal with the parallel universe people and the storyline in general.

Now for some positives mixed with negatives!

8. Nick

Ohhhh boy. Nick could be the one good thing about this season IF they do not make it a “it was me, Lucifer all along!” cheap shot (which I know they will do, hence the negative). I think it would be a bigger plot twist if Nick WASN’T Lucifer. Sam could bond with a guy who went exactly through what he went through, we could have an established character back instead of these random new ones (like the vampire Michael brought in at the end with no context... like, I put Supernatural higher above other drama shows because it actually establishes a character and who they are before making them apart of the plot, like Gabriel being the janitor before he was the trickster, and the trickster before he was Gabriel. Cheap introductions with dramatic music in the background? Pass).

I wanted Missouri back, she died. I wanted Gabriel back, he died. Nick will either be Lucifer or die, but I will cling onto every good old character there is until there are none left. There are good new characters too, sometimes, but they keep dying too (Eileen) so miss me with that argument.

Also there’s no way Nick could have survived. Jimmy died, why wouldn’t he? It’s Lucifer, but if it wasn’t? It’d be better. And also this totally is another cheap shot to keep Mark in the show, like with Jim. I love Mark, but we all know it.

9. Kip

I was SO pissed for most of the episode, because I thought that the show was actually trying to replace Crowley (you know the writing is bad when you expect SPN to pull something like that). I actually LOVED it when that show was self-aware and Kip was actually putting on a show--TRYING to be Crowley but miserably failing and being a pathetic knock-off. It was good, it was interesting, I was ready for the plot-line of Crowley’s irreplaceableness and how demons would deal with it.

But Kip died. Why wasn’t Asmodeus’ death that quick? He was an actual poorly written villain with nothing interesting to him.

In conclusion, this is why I nearly died watching the first episode of season 14. Will I stop watching? Not yet. SPN is a show I have loved since I was little--I watched it with my big sister, and now my little brother watches it with me. Does that mean the show is still good? In my opinion... no.

I think the writers should stop pandering to the audience so much. I watched “Live Free Or Twi-Hard” after 14x01 to wash my eyes out with old SPN, and I remembered how much the show used to laugh at over-done trends. SPN was different and fun because it didn’t care, it did what the creators wanted, and it worked. It doesn’t feel like that any more. The show made fun of Twilight in that episode, yet “Wayward Sisters” had total Vampire Diaries narration (no offense to the pilot, but I have to admit... I didn’t like it. It could definitely be a good stand-alone show, and I did want it to be picked up, but it was completely out of place in Supernatural as a show. Again, because of the themes and shameless pandering to the teen audience).

Supernatural fans fell in love with Supernatural, not a teen CW drama. That does not mean fans can’t love those too--love all the TV teen dramas you want, I like those shows too--but the tropes for those type of shows fits in those type of shows. I can admit Supernatural is not a masterpiece, and it is a drama, but it’s not what they show has become now. And 14x01 makes that perfectly clear.

But that’s just my opinion, a Supernatural opinion! Thanks for reading!

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xoruffitup · 6 years

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Escaping Delusion For Self-Understanding & Empowerment: A Ben Solo Redemption/Reylo Meto

Upon my initial read of The Last Jedi novelization, I was disappointed by the lack of storytelling from Kylo’s perspective. I really enjoyed picking the character apart by his resolutely-hidden loose ends in my TFA Novel/Close-Reading Kylo Ren Analysis, and I’d been eagerly awaiting new insight in the TLJ novel into the internal deliberations guiding his sweeping character evolution. When the throne room scene went into Snoke’s head instead of Kylo’s, I got downright frustrated. But then, when I started delving into the novel more deeply the second time, I realized that viewing Kylo through other characters’ eyes actually tells us much more about him than his own perspective would ever be able to show – The key reason being the extent of Kylo’s self-delusion, and how little he understands himself.

The TFA novel did a superb job of presenting the deep dissonance and main source of conflict within Kylo Ren: Namely, the unstable disconnect between Kylo Ren’s detached brutality, and the stifled, hidden persona of Ben Solo within him – who appears in volatile, powerful bursts of emotion beyond Kylo’s control. My TFA novel analysis concluded with the key question: “Did he ever make a free, conscious decision to abandon Ben Solo to the monstrous might of Kylo Ren? If not, how strong is the illicit inner part of him still clinging to life and light?”

TLJ provides the answer pretty clearly that he did not; but the reason and process are more complex than simply Luke’s mistake pushing him over the edge. We came – as both viewers and readers – to understand Kylo much better as an individual wracked by repressed trauma, emotional dissociation, despairing loneliness, and destructive wrath aimed indiscriminately at himself and those around him. We don’t learn this from Kylo himself, because Kylo himself either refuses or fails to recognize his wounds. Instead, we gain a rare look beneath the cold, cruel shell of Kylo Ren to the true man beneath mainly through Rey’s evolving perception of him. Kylo and Rey’s ingress to each other’s minds and their budding mutual understanding and empathy are the means by which both characters not only come to understand each other more fully, but also themselves. This self-understanding will prove the most challenging and crucial element of Kylo’s redemption; but Rey’s journey to self-understanding and acceptance in TLJ can tell us a lot about what we might expect to lie in store for him.

Both Kylo and Rey ended TLJ in a far different place than they began. Since Rey started from a much stronger position of mental health and self-belief, she ends TLJ assured of her ability to forge her own path and place in this story. She makes difficult, dangerous, unconventional decisions through and through, but she ends TLJ only more firmly centered in her morals and self-belief. Kylo also ends TLJ in a vastly different place than he began – But he is still a great distance from the kind of self-understanding and empowerment achieved by Rey.

The development of the Rey/Kylo bond in TLJ establishes and reveals how deeply their journeys and hardships mirror each other. We see them literally reaching out to each other in attempt to provide solace for the other’s bone-deep, consuming solitude. We see them both struggling to come to terms with difficult, lonely childhoods and complex resentments towards parental figures. We see each tempted by both sides of the Force, and each repeatedly toeing the line between light and dark. Their symbolic unity as opposing but equal forces is overt: “It is you.” “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo.”

My interpretation of Kylo’s character development in TLJ is closely linked to the development of Reylo because I believe the two are inherently intertwined, and the latter will help predict the former. TLJ made plain their similarities and parallels, as well as their natural draw and empathy for the other. I anticipate that their future development will continue to mirror each other, with their bond bringing further convergence in their character trajectories, while they each play a vital supporting role in the other’s eventual, respective ‘triumphs.’ For Rey, this will likely take the shape of developing and claiming her powers on her terms alone, subscribing to neither the rigidities of the Jedi nor the narrow-minded dichotomy of the Jedi/Sith. For Kylo, I’m pretty willing to bet money this will take the shape of redemption; or at least some stable middle ground where he can find a semblance of peace within himself and companionship.

To get more specific in my reading here, I believe TLJ was Rey’s movie of self-discovery with Kylo mostly in the supporting role. Episode IX, however, will be Ben’s movie with Rey then supporting him. Seeing Rey’s personal internal journey in TLJ (Self-discovery, acceptance, and then independent agency in her rejections of both Luke and Kylo’s attempts to set her future path for her) gives us insight into the internal challenges and monumental decisions awaiting Kylo – and the steps he must take before he can reach a point of understanding and peace with himself. We also see a model of how Rey can provide essential support and guidance to enable Kylo’s growth and self-liberation.

One thing that cannot be emphasized enough is that both characters must indeed liberate themselves. While I do believe that Rey and Kylo’s bond plays an integral and irreplaceable role in both of their development trajectories, another shared aspect of their journey is that the crucial, identity-forming moment of reckoning with the darkest, most difficult-to-accept parts of themselves must be experienced in isolation. The decisions they each make to emerge from these challenging, isolated moments can, and indeed are, guided in part by the other’s influence, but the experience itself of debilitating soul-searching must be experienced alone. The decision itself must be reached alone.

Hence, why the ‘Reylo is abusive’ position is untenable; Kylo has nothing but a positive effect on Rey’s TLJ development, and he never determines her choices for her. He coaxes her to confront and eventually accept the darker parts of herself, along with the aspects of her past she has lived in willful ignorance of. Thanks to her painful introspection in the dark-side cave, followed by her voicing the all-terrible truth about her parents in the throne room, her self-understanding and belief in her own agency stands so strong that she rejects Kylo’s misguided proposal – Knowing that acceptance would mean compromising her identity and values.

There is a balance here I want to make the effort to clarify: Rey and Kylo are each a positive force to the other – helping the other accept and act on parts of themselves they either didn’t fully understand or could not previously assimilate. But in the moments when their self-determination and empowerment hang in the balance – When they each face a decision that will shape their destinies, they stand alone. They each decide for themselves. Yet, it’s highly likely that the changes in their self-perception due to the other’s companionship and empathy help enable decisions they perhaps might not have been capable of before.

From my view, there is a single greatest challenge confronting both Rey and Kylo, before they can become self-determining characters acting with true agency. Rey conquered this challenge in TLJ, but Kylo’s true test still awaits in Episode IX. The challenge is to free themselves from willful, self-imposed delusions. Only until they remove the blinders of self-deception and willful ignorance can they see clearly enough to gain a true understanding of the self. Only with a true understanding of the self, can they each make free, independent, productive decisions towards shaping their futures for themselves and becoming the people they truly wish to be.

‘Self-deluded’ could be Kylo Ren’s middle name. He might not know it, but everyone around him sure does. When Luke sees Ben again on Crait after so many years:

“Even stronger than the anger were Kylo’s pain and fear. They filled him, threatening to devour him. Ben Solo had sought to abandon everything he had been, even casting aside his name. But Luke sensed that Kylo Ren was just a shell around the same broken boy he had tried so hard to reach” (Page 297).

And though I’m still a little bitter about getting in Snoke’s head rather than Kylo’s during the climactic throne room scene, I do have to admit that Snoke’s words hit the nail right on the head:

“He called himself Kylo Ren, but as with so much else about him, that was more wish fulfillment than reality. He had never escaped being Ben Solo, or learned to resist the pull of the weak and pathetic light, or had the strength to excise the sentimental streak that had destroyed his legendary grandfather. And then there was his most glaring failure of all: his inability or unwillingness to use his power to redirect the course of his own destiny” (Page 222).

I placed emphasis on the final sentence because that’s the crux of the matter right there. Kylo Ren claims to seek power through the dark side, to complete the destruction of his weak former identity and banish all light and poisonous sentiment from within himself. But this is increasingly proving to be an impossible task. Kylo Ren will never achieve the dark-side strength or invulnerability to attachment for which he longs, because Kylo Ren himself is a hollow, inert fabrication. He will never be able to “redirect the course of his own destiny” in any meaningful way, until he confronts the contradictions of Kylo Ren’s being and the truths Kylo Ren was created to hide.

This is the delusion Kylo must confront before he can ever become free in any sense at all: Ben Solo’s enduring existence and strength. He must realize that the dark side ethos of power through strength and excising of attachments is irreconcilable with who he is as a person. The light of Ben Solo will always live in him, always making surrender to the dark side impossible. Kylo Ren calls Ben Solo “weak and foolish, like his father,” while being willfully blind to the fact that Ben Solo’s emotions and needs were what created him. Ben Solo – still very much alive within Kylo – was never helpless or weak. To the contrary, Ben Solo is so strong, his emotional core released a desperate coping mechanism against unbearable pain, coupled with a violent vengeance that has underscored every single one of his actions. The truth is, Kylo Ren never destroyed Ben Solo. Ben Solo created Kylo Ren, and has controlled him ever since.

Ben Solo’s lingering need for attachment bubbles out from Kylo Ren in various forms. Unable to look within himself, he seeks identity and purpose in others. Here lies one of his many sources of conflict: Even while lashing out against those he believed wronged and hurt him, he continues searching for external guidance and affirmations of his worth. He clings to his grandfather’s legacy, seizing upon Vader as a model and even speaking with his grandfather’s deformed helmet with sentiments starkly reminiscent of, “I’ll make you proud of me.” Even while he firmly rejects his parentage and seeks to destroy Luke, he simultaneously longs to claim his uncle’s light saber for himself and the legacy it represents. Snoke – depraved abuser that he is – recognizes this need for external affirmation and exploits it. “‘My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader,’ Snoke said, knowing how Kylo had yearned for such praise” (Page 235).

Kylo craves acceptance, affirmation, and ultimately love from others, while disavowing any such needs as foolish weakness to be rejected and left behind. This only makes it harder for Kylo to recognize the depths of his own self-deception. He sees the cause of Kylo Ren’s creation in all others around him; Pursuing his vendetta against all those he holds responsible for his fall, while claiming to be inured to their importance or connections to him. Refusing to acknowledge neither these contradictions, nor the deeper emotional origins of his actions, he never confronts his true self in all its indomitable vulnerability.

To put this all in simple terms: Boy’s got a lot of issues. A character this complex – with a mask of cruelty and apathy disguising the pain and fear shaping everything he does; Who, even with misery in his eyes, affirms being a monster – will face an ultimate moment of reckoning equally complex. We learned in TLJ that this character wasn’t nearly the black-and-white villain we might have thought. His path to the light and escape from torment won’t be black-and-white either. Rey learns this the hard way: “Luke’s error had been to assume that Ben Solo’s future was predetermined – that his choice had been made. Her error had been to assume that Kylo Ren’s choice was simple – that turning on Snoke was the same as rejecting the pull of the darkness” (Page 260).

There’s a lot bound up in Kylo’s descent into darkness. There are his childhood feelings of isolation and inadequacy – stoked and exploited by Snoke. There are his adolescent feelings of abandonment and betrayal at the hands of his own family. There are his perceived memories of when his parents “talked about him like he wasn’t their son, but some kind of monster” (Page 82). It was not only Snoke’s influence that pulled him to the dark, but his own yearning to escape that propelled him there as well. Yet in his own eyes, there was an inevitability to it all. His parents saw him as a monster, his uncle Luke thought he was beyond all hope – And so a monster beyond all hope is what he became.

Rey is the one who begins to chip away at the certitude of his damnation. She is the first to give him the chance to explain what really happened the night Luke came into his room as he slept. She is the first person to truly see him in all his agonizing complexity, and she is the first to truly believe in his potential to make decisions for himself that might enable his deliverance. Even after failing to turn him, in the escape pod leaving the Supremacy Rey sees the future as “a range of possibilities, which were constantly reshaped by the outcome of events that seemed minor and decisions that seemed small” (Page 260). Unlike others who viewed Kylo’s path to the dark side as immutable (including Kylo himself), she sees his enduring multiplicity of futures. She still believes in his capacity to make powerful decisions for himself, and shape himself a higher path.

While Kylo’s ultimate moment of reckoning with his true self and shedding his delusions (his equivalent of Rey’s voicing and acceptance of the truth of her parents’ abandonment) still stands before him, he has already faced two similar moments when he was confronted with a choice of who he was and what he believed in. The first was his confrontation with Han. The second was his decision to kill Snoke. His decisions in these moments of internal conflict went in opposite directions – one a desperate plunge deeper into the dark, the other an unexpected surge towards the light and belief in his own will.

While he made both decisions on his own, Rey’s influence is the essential new factor that makes him think for himself, beyond Snoke’s indoctrination and the dark side ethos of strength only through unfeeling power. In both this scene and Han’s death, Kylo was nearly overwhelmed by feeling. He killed Han in a despairing bid to escape from the crush of conflict and torment within him, believing this unforgiveable act might finally purge him of his pain and let him become unfeeling. (He was wrong, of course.) In the throne room scene, Kylo does almost the exact opposite. He is overwhelmed by Rey’s pain: “Kylo could feel Rey’s pain and panic, a bright roar in the Force that overwhelmed all else – even the dark presence of Snoke” (Page 223), and he acts not on a desire to escape from his overpowering emotional response to her suffering, but rather embraces it as a call to action more compelling than the dark side has ever been. Rey promised in the elevator that she would help him, and he saw in his own vision that Rey would stand with him. Finally, Kylo feels an attachment warm, alive, and understanding – And it gives Ben Solo something to fight for, rather than another source of pain to escape and throw up walls against.

This is such an important moment for Kylo’s development for so many reasons. It’s indisputable evidence that Ben Solo is alive and kicking, with an independent will and positive, caring emotions Snoke never succeeded in stamping out. It demonstrates that power was never the most important thing to him – it was never what he truly sought. His strongest need is still enduringly for human connection and warmth. When he thinks he might be in reach of a bond with someone who truly understands his struggle and eases his pain, he protects it and her at all costs, even turning his back on the dark-side Master to whom he swore such loyalty.

(Sidebar: I have heard some people argue that Kylo killing Snoke was ultimately a power grab, enabled by Rey’s presence but not motivated by it. Let me take a minute here to knock that down. If Kylo’s main goal was to seize power and become the Supreme Leader himself, his actions immediately after the fight make no sense whatsoever. Rey is his equal in strength, and the only one who can challenge him anymore. If ruling domination was his goal, he would have tried to get rid of her right then and there as the only lingering threat to him… Not begged her to join him with a quivering lip and a desperate “please,” like this whole kingdom is meaningless without her by his side.)

Just as Rey realizes after the fact – The decisions confronting Kylo regarding his identity and the shaping of his own future are much more complicated than simply rejecting Snoke. In the throne room, Kylo’s anger towards Snoke was first kindled even before Snoke began torturing Rey – When Snoke revealed he created the bond between Kylo and Rey’s minds, for the purpose of using Kylo to lure Rey in. “…he looked up in surprise, his eyes locked on his master. Snoke ignored the pleading look on Kylo’s face – just as he ignored the sickly waves of pain and confusion that rolled out from him into the Force” (Page 222). Just as there was more to Kylo’s decision than a need to save Rey (“more” not meaning seeking power, but rejection of an abusive, domineering master), there is more to the aftermath as well. Rey wrongly anticipated that Kylo turning his back on Snoke would also mean turning his back on the dark side, but so long as Kylo continues laboring under delusions of Ben Solo’s weakness and irrelevance to his identity, he will continue needing the dark side and its promised escape from pain as a crutch to help him endure. He remains willfully blind to Ben Solo’s presence: “‘Ben?’ she asked. ‘That’s my old name,’ he said” (Page 244).

The hardest part of Kylo’s journey still lies before him: The introspection that will enable him to understand and accept the emotional instincts and needs that have shaped his path thus far. Then, perhaps, he can embrace the strength and light of Ben Solo as the truest means to shape his destiny for himself. TLJ left Kylo in a position where, for the first time, he does have recourse to the freedom to make decisions for himself. But all of his decisions following Rey’s refusing of him were based in blind anger, destructive vengeance, and consuming hurt. He is still hiding behind the cold, empty cruelty of Kylo Ren, running away from Ben Solo’s emotions with a wake of destruction.

In probably the most direct illustration of the tragic irony of Kylo Ren’s character, he urges Rey to “let go” of the past:

“It’s time to let the old things die. (…) You’re holding on. Let go. (…) Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known and have you just hidden it away – hidden it from yourself? Let it go. You know the truth. Say it!” (Page 244)

He is asking her to do what he himself has so far been incapable of. He doesn’t see the contradiction - Remaining utterly blind to the truth that he is controlled by his own past, and Kylo Ren is only Ben Solo in another, crueler guise, still acting in response to a bright, burning emotional core that will never be quenched. He can never stop hating himself, or stop living in a projected shell of pain and violence, until he confronts his past trauma and accepts his enduring need for those he feels attachments to.

At some point, he must consciously accept all of Ben Solo as the most essential part of himself. He must recognize empathy and love not as weaknesses to be cut away, but as the single strongest force in the galaxy – whose thwarted, then perverted power was, after all, what created Kylo Ren. Until he accepts Ben Solo’s needs as his own and acknowledges his emotions as strength, the past will continue to control him and he will remain trapped in a helpless loop of anger, destruction, despair, and solitude.

This might sound like a tall order for someone with so much emotional trauma to overcome. And yet, I remain a firm proponent and believer in redemption. As I said earlier, I anticipate Episode IX will be “Ben’s movie,” with Rey helping him through his internal journey towards some form of resolution. His ultimate moment of reckoning within himself will be complex and immensely challenging, due to the depth of his self-deception and the immensity of the pain that initiated it. But Rey will be there to help him through – providing a warm light at the end of the tunnel to guide his way. She can provide hope and comfort to Ben’s loneliness and despair, enough to make him believe there could be something brighter for him in the world than the cold, unfeeling dark side.

Let’s not forget: In the throne room, believing in the promise of Rey by his side, Kylo achieved a moment of intense internal resolve that lent him inner strength he’s never known before. Ever since he first went to Snoke, the heart of Ben Solo living within Kylo Ren’s shroud has lived in stifled agony, crying out against the cold isolation demanded by the dark side. Part of Kylo has always hated being a monster, always yearned for warmth and light and hated himself for shrinking away from it. But only until Rey extended her hand to him, only until Rey listened to his side of the story, only until she believed in him and risked her life in pursuit of that belief – Only then did Kylo find something solid and resolute enough within himself to do what had before been unthinkable: To free himself and take his own future into his hands.

It was a short-lived moment of resolution and clarity, but one that bodes well for Kylo’s future. While Rey can help him regain faith in the world, reminding him that emotions can also be a force of comfort and wonder, all this will only be to help him recognize that he alone has the power to save himself. Or more precisely – Ben Solo holds that power.

Ben Solo – not his Force abilities, not the dark side – is the strongest part of him. Through confronting, acknowledging, and then accepting Ben Solo’s past pain and hardship as the most integral part of him, he might finally find inner peace. Ben was a loving, sensitive child, whose inability to cope with pain, fear, and abandonment birthed a persona of malignant darkness. But that loving, sensitive boy has endured. He yearns to be free again, and I’m convinced the dark side is no match for him.

#Star Wars meta #Star Wars analysis #Star Wars TLJ #The Last Jedi #Star Wars #Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Save Ben Solo #Reylo

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stayfallentasticc · 6 years

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Inner Demons (ILITW theory)

Demons, for the most time, often prey on the weak. It’s pretty self explanatory that Noah is the most affected with the murder of Jane in comparison to the other group members — this seems the most “obvious” given that he was indeed her twin brother. In this week’s chapter, we can clearly see the overall message that Pixelberry is trying to convey to its readers which for the most part is: Love. Love triumphs all evil. We see the power of Love, given how corny that sounds, through two characters (Dan and Tom) and who hold memories that can’t be erased by the sheer “evilness” of “Mr. Red”.

Dan, for instance, is “awaken” by MC when she recalls the memories they had as children. Dan’s face flickers from a smile to mere confusion. They’re obviously under a ‘spell’. However, the spell was able to be broken by a special bond that MC and Dan share — they used to be “best friends”, being there for one another in a vulnerable state of time (childhood). Let’s contrast this to Andy and Tom’s situation. Tom is literally Andy’s saving grace. He was the one person who Andy could turn to when he felt helpless, unwanted, and in other words unloved by his environment. When Andy confesses to Tom how much he means to him, Tom breaks from the trance.

With that being said, the only person who Noah is vulnerable to is….you guessed it Jane. The only time(s) he showcases that he’s truly happy and has a smile upon his face is when he recalls the moments he has with Jane. Reference to the chapter where he tells MC how Jane knew exactly what to say to make him feel better. However, it’s quickly dismissed with guilt and remorse for what had happened that very night. He mentions to MC that when MC wasn’t in the picture, they were irreplaceable: a “team”.

He often speaks of making things right and MC being the only one who would do so willingly - give or take that Jane also thought of MC as her best friend. This leaves me to believe that in his mindset, he’s A L O N E, no one quite gets him like Jane does. Let’s not get into the whole Mom issue he has as well (the constant reminders of why He survived and why it shouldn’t have been Him but Her instead). This allows oneself to reflect back on how IT (Mr. Red/Jane) also describes themselves as being alone given in the very first chapters. It makes you think that our inner demons are the ones that kill us in the end. Our weakness. Mr. Red, as mentioned by Cora, was the fact that he was quite greedy with the power that was entailed from him from the mysterious figure and hence is now haunting individuals. It showcases similar characteristics to Noah: they are both alone and have weaknesses that have/may kill them/get them in trouble.

Backtracking from that idea, the closest person who does know to some extent of how he feels about Jane’s death would be MC. This is why he often targets her in terms of guilt tripping her.

Once again, Jane knew exactly what to say to make him feel better. This is where, Mr. Red comes in, or I guess we should say Jane. Jane is Noah’s soft spot. I personally, theorize that Mr. Red is still much present in this story and that he often “shifts” to people who are dear to the people he victimizes - reference to the title of the book being called IT (Mr. Red is not a she or a he, It whoever it is just is). Mr. Red, knows full well, what Noah would do for Jane to “make things right”. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe Jane is also a puppet to Mr. Red. Mr. Red could possibly be using Jane, putting her in a position where she’s trapped in that body - and is now just a shell of who she was, holding memories of how she got trapped and so forth, but having no real emotions to act upon due to the fact that she’s too is consumed with the Hate (this is why she no longer shows remorse when Andy is hurt from her doings but insists on “playing” instead). He is portraying himself to be Jane to push Noah to the brinks of wanting to give in to what is being asked of him: to ultimately get everyone together. I say this because in the first attempt to “demolish” Mr. Red, Noah is very very determined to end things the way it should’ve been ended.

It didn’t work, (I’m assuming it didn’t work given that Dan was hospitalize,) but you can clearly see the raw emotions Noah showcases. How he so desperately clings to the belief that if he gets rid of whoever IT is, things will get back to normal. He will no longer have this feeling in the pit of his chest of how it should’ve been Him instead. If he knew Mr. Red was Jane all along, why would he hurt his sister again when he was so traumatized with her death? Doesn’t quite add up to me.

After the belief that Mr. Red is no longer present in their life, Noah loosens up. He doesn’t seem as uptight or bothered. He even goes to the extent to compliment MC’s appearance with an actual smile.

So, when it didn’t work out, Noah is quite surprised by it. I’m guessing by some time he must have realized that Jane was behind all of it or as I stated before Mr. Red who disguises himself as Jane could also possibly be the evil spirit that just strips them from being human. He pushes the topic of getting everyone together soon and now quite aggressively. He strongly believe he’s running out of time. Why? Ah, maybe because IT made a deal with him that has to do with who? Jane. His precious sister. His soft spot. The very person who understood him. So, he reacts the only way he knows how - by impulse.

The only solution he believed he had was to get everyone together and hold a blade to MC’s neck because no one, in his mindset, would understand Him. No one would understand the inner demons that lingers in his soul. No one would understand his reasoning as to why he does the thing he just did or in this case “had to do” (no one ever listens to Noah).

In conclusion, Noah isn’t the antagonist that PB is hopefully painting him to be. He has nerves - we can actually save him if the nerves are high enough. He shows some form of conflict within himself. He’s troubled. He’s alone. He isn’t loved by anyone, the only love he ever had was Jane. This is obvious, being that he breaks down when you have that diamond scene with him where he admits he’s scared. Scared of what’s to come. An individual who is not remorseful for what he was planning to do would not have cried in MC’s arm and thank them for putting up with him because no one else did.

Also, let’s not forget how he was taken aback when the first thing MC says is how worried she was for him. He hasn’t felt like he mattered, in quite some time. He stutters and says “I’m glad you’re okay too”. Once again, pretty confusing given the circumstances where he’s literally placing MC and everyone in danger five seconds later. I’m gonna go on a limb and say that in mind, he’s not doing anything remotely wrong, compared to what would happen if he didn’t “give in to Jane” but something that was rather “necessary.” The greater evil, so be it.

With that being said, I’m assuming that the higher the nerve is, the more easier it is to reason with Noah, to get him to understand thet this isn’t the “only” way and it’s all just a facade to make IT become stronger. The quote, I’m placing in the end of this theory is such that, it’s up to us to help him. Help him tame his inner demons, his insecurities, his overall guilt. He’s that character that lets you think and ponder how far you can go before you end up destroying yourself and inevitably the people around you.

Reference to the very beginning: Love is the solution, but Love was the thing that got Noah conflicted in the first place. Love made him blind. The way I see it Noah has two paths: give into the demon that he believes is his sister - be a “team” with IT - or face reality and snap out of it. It’s up to Us to make him realize that. The “Jane” that is in those woods isn’t the Jane he knows.

“I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons”

#playchoices #choices it lives in the woods #it lives in the woods #ilitw #choices ilitw #ilitw noah #ilitw jane #ilitw lucas #ilitw ava #ilitw andy #ilitw lily #ilitw stacy #choices #pixelberry #choices stories you play #theories

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gurguliare · 6 years

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hey i’m putting this whole dumb mariner’s wife maunder under the cut because tumblr’s glitchy apostrophes really bother me, thanks

One thing I love about "The Mariner's Wife" is that it's as close as Tolkien gets to like, utopian drama, in that no one in the story is making decisions based off immediate need---poverty, war, et al obviously still exist, but they aren't the kind of threats they are in any other part of the legendarium. Even Valinor! once Morgoth is released. to quote Andie’s meta that I personally slid her $20 under the table for, "very few choices made in Numenor would lead to evil. Probably the worst thing that would happen due to bad human choices in Numenor were mass accidents." All external pressure, positive and negative, (let's say Middle earth’s tempting resources vs Sauron) is at a huge remove, enough so that the characters have almost perfect freedom in how they want to deal with it---except that that their actual reach is limited, and the combination is paralyzing, of course.

I really enjoy the fatalism of Tolkien’s base worldview as applied to the problem of maintaining rather than restoring peace: it’s one of his bleaker stories exactly because it’s ~pre-Fall, post-another-Fall, and tearing itself to pieces while worrying about, essentially, the wrong problem---“what weapons do we need to face the crisis that’s surely coming” rather than “what tools can we give our heirs?” Say that the usual conflict in utopian narrative is “how does the utopia survive,” with the added caveat that the utopia needs to preserve its identity plastically, and not become super-resistant to change---or, put another way, the utopia has to avoid being compromised by “realism” without sealing itself off from reality. Which can be the outside world, but which can also be the strains of rupture and change already present within the utopia, part of its heritage, and naturally produced within it as a society of actual people.

And it seems revealing to me that this bubble is the precondition for Tolkien writing, also, a domestic drama, knowing as we do his mixed opinion of character-driven literature (“stage-plays”). Obviously Aldarion and Erendis are each deeply concerned with How To Save Numenor: and although they're sort of obvious mouthpieces for transformation and conservation respectively, it’s not black-and-white---Aldarion recognizes the need to offer aid and tend old alliances in Middle-earth, but Erendis is the one aware of fissures within Numenor and the ripeness for conflict between unequal groups: men and women, shorter- and longer-lived Numenoreans, and, yes, elves and humans. These are problems that demand serious intervention, even with a status quo in all other ways worthy. So like... there’s enormous scope in which to work, despite the appearance of equilibrium there’s tons to do to keep alive the body paradisiac, and yet it’s exactly this relative innocence and freedom that makes it easy for the characters to suspect one another of perversity, and insincerity, in their respective choice of causes. Everything is equally urgent, and everything is also equally, secretly unreal. Erendis hates the sea and loves trees to spite me, thinks Aldarion; Erendis assumes that Aldarion’s voyaging is born of discontent with Numenor (but really boredom with her). Because Numenor is, in the moment, perfect---because the stakes are semi-abstract and it’s incredibly easy to dissociate intellectual possibilities from present risk if you don’t already feel the threat on an emotional level---it’s the most natural thing in the world to accuse the person with different priorities of playing games with facts, out of pure self-interest.

Hence Erendis’s speech about men; hence also why Ancalime thinks her parents fight for the “promise of sport,” not for considerations ideological or personal. In part because Aldarion and Erendis both consider themselves objective and think that objectivity alone will serve to carry the day eventually, they’re totally unable to communicate their respective visions to their heir, and they only ever get a partial glimpse at one another’s. Which sucks! Like, part of the tragedy of the Tree Subtweets is that Erendis herself represents something as irreplaceable as the trees: a loving devotion to the land and its people that needs no rational basis, precious exactly because rationality is in some sense inadequate to the momentous task at hand. Aldarion is a good steward of resources because he’s personally farsighted and has a basic grasp of logic---but he can’t make his descendants into equally sensible stewards, or rather, he can’t do so simply by being perceptive and expecting the same from others. Insert joke about cult of priests devoted to scaring people away from nuclear waste zones in the far future... but that’s the thing, right: some information is safer culturally embedded than it is passed down literally. Aldarion is born in the wrong time for even his longest-term preparations to be relevant, meaning that if he wanted any control whatsoever over the future, he needed to be forming close, trusting relationships within his own family, for even a hope in hell of continuity.

Which... it’s interesting, right? Tar-Meneldur does it; he abdicates because he lacks Aldarion’s perspective on the situation in Modern Middle-earth and because he (Meneldur) recognizes that action or inaction on his part are both choices he simply doesn’t have the moral license to make. But the thing is, that generosity doesn’t teach Aldarion, in turn, to be generous. I think we’re supposed to understand the abdication comes too late. The feeling I get from both Erendis and Aldarion is that part of the reason they’re so convinced of their own superb rationality is because, for their whole lives, their parents have been telling them how proud and willful they are, without regard for actual progress these stiffnecked children have made toward thinking adulthood. (Note: we see less of Erendis’s side but what we do get is the wayyyyyyy more concentrated version of this, unsurprisingly. One other big problem here is that Aldarion identifies Erendis as an equal opponent with all the same weapons he has, and she isn’t. But this post is already so long) ...The fact that Erendis and Aldarion are proud doesn’t make them deluded, and they know that; they have evidence no one else has, they see things no one else sees. They’re so smart! But then they take pride in pride, moreso as they’re scolded for it; they both develop this protectiveness toward the “right” to pride itself, because despite all the warnings, despite the condescension and doubt from outsiders, this burning self-reliance led them to the most important things in their respective lives (until, coincidentally, it became the most important thing in their respective lives). Ouch.

And pride without purpose (except self-protection) is the one thing that descends to Ancalime, and that sense of alienation persists in the Line of Elros without any final antidote. The one institutional takeaway is the wrong one: “don’t marry outside the Line” wedges open the split between Numenor’s “levels” of reality, again, if we say there’s a utopia-within-the-utopia---the changing present inhabited by its people and the dream of eternity, political and later personal, that haunts the kings.

...I would speculate here about the parallel to the Valar’s handsoff approach to “advising” Numenor but that would get boring fast! And isn’t really fair, or indeed, interesting---the thing that gets me is this entirely human plane of action, even the wasted potential of which is going to change the world. The point is, Tolkien does a really good job setting up personality cascades, and it’s funny. I could ... man I want to talk a bit more about the parenting thing because it’s obviously also connected to, uh, Meneldur and Almarien and Nuneth’s relationships to Numenor! and Numenor’s hypothetical future. But this post is so long and meandering and unedited already and I’m sick of it. GOD. SORRY. GOODNIGHT.

#somehow the shorter of two non-essays i started yesterday at walgreen's #silmarillion #aldarion #erendis

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pass-the-bechdel · 6 years

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Teen Wolf season six (part 1) full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

90% (nine of ten).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

42.52%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Six, just over half.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

None.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Seventeen. Nine who appear in more than one episode, six who appear in at least half the episodes, and two who appear in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty. Thirteen who appear in more than one episode, nine who appear in at least half the episodes, and one who appears in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Standard for this show, i.e. decidedly higher quality than most of what’s on tv, with dynamic variety in powerful female characters, emotionally mature and expressive male characters, and a loving, up-front embrace of queer sexuality. Nothing stands out as especially wonderful about it all this season, but it’s an average mark against which other shows regularly pale (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Fantastic! Easily their most intellectually heady concept thus far in the series, and they do some wonderful crazy things with it.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Their best male:female ratio yet! The majority of episodes at/around gender balanced, zero of them wildly male-dominated! Almost a complete Bechdel pass, which isn’t much of a thing to crow about, but at least they tended to pass significantly with the passes they had, rather than a roster of single-line-single-pass episodes. And they didn’t score a raised content rating out of the bunch, but content ratings are variable based on series standards, to an extent: if the representation in this season were mirrored in, say, a Stargate season, I’d be gushing about what a fantastic turn of events that was. I have sometimes wondered if I was too generous with Teen Wolf’s scores in the past, but compared to pretty much everything else I’ve reviewed? Nah, it’s deservedly up the top of the heap. It has set a lovely high standard for itself, and failing to outstrip that standard still leaves it above and beyond most every other standard around, so. It’s a very good problem to have. It’s the right kind of problem.

That happy ratio is owed in part to the challenge which informed the entire season: how to keep the show alive without Dylan O’Brien as a regular? This isn’t the first show I’ve reviewed that has juggled the loss or limited availability of a primary actor, but it is easily the one that has done so with the greatest success. The X Files strangled itself in its original run by pretending that Mulder was still the centre of its universe even in his absence, refusing to commit to plot advancement with its new characters and format. The Librarians has made explaining away Flynn’s latest departure into the tool that shapes each season’s arc, and it’s wearing very thin (and has at this point possibly contributed to the show’s cancellation). Stargate SG1 made more structurally sound decisions with the dilemma that initially worked, but they turned into awkward as Hell character moves later down the track (and I will be SALTY FOREVERRR!!!). Teen Wolf wisely did not introduce a new replacement character to misuse and be uncomfortable with and ditch as soon as possible, and while it does make Stiles’ absence a centrepiece and driving force of the season, it does so without allowing that to choke off personal narratives or other plot threads for the characters who remain. The characters all continue to function, and we see the empty space that Stiles has left in their lives and how that affects them, but there’s no implication that they or the show cannot function without him, and that’s a compliment to Stiles, not an insult. It’s not that he’s the glue that holds the whole thing together, but he is irreplaceable, in the cast and in the lives of his friends, and this season is a celebration of him at the same time as being a soft introduction to the way that the show can keep moving forward without him in the future. The question everyone would have been asking before this season was ‘can Teen Wolf still work successfully without its secondary character, fan-favourite, and arguably best actor?’, and obviously I think they answered that with a resounding but respectful ‘YES’.

The absence of Stiles also allows a decisively larger space for the rest of the characters to move in, since he was never a character to be shuttled off and underused of a season - to the extent that he has been the centrepiece of another past season already. I do wish that Lydia stepping up to fill that space was less anchored around her blossoming romance with Stiles, and not only because - as established in the individual episode posts - I feel like they tried too hard and overplayed the OTP card, and I didn’t really buy that the bond was as profound as they wanted us to believe. Regardless of where you stand on the relationship itself, the reality was that Lydia had an awful lot of screen time that was not about her, and obviously this blog is not here for female characters having their personal stories co-opted by dudes. Arguably, the same fate would have befallen any character who was used as the primary conduit for the Stiles side of the storyline, but I’d argue back that if it had been Scott, as the lead character on the show he would be able to balance that weight (plus his established long-term relationship with Stiles would make it easier since it’s already part of the backbone of the series, whereas the official blossoming of a relationship with Lydia and Stiles is a new development being added on top of all the pre-existing emotions at play). The Sheriff, likewise, could take the weight of Stiles’ absentee narrative without having his character drowned out by it, because Stiles is his son and he has always played a supporting role for Stiles, for that obvious reason. The loss of Stiles is successfully used as a lens through which to further explore the Sheriff as an individual here, and it’s one of the best parts of the story. Lydia, on the other hand, as her own character who does not exist within the narrative because of her relationship with anyone else, was swamped by the Stiles arc and allowed no real exploration of her own; the closest she got to her own stuff was the prospect of being the sole survivor of Beacon Hills, and that was a nonstarter. As such, while I mostly applaud the way Stiles’ absence was handled, I cannot ultimately condone what it did to Lydia, and I can’t help but wonder how that dominance of her arc could have been softened and improved by removing the forced romantic angle. I’m reminded of how they fumbled the introduction of Malia around getting her with Stiles, and the awkward attempt to set Stiles up with Cora Hale before that, and the messy Stiles/Erica dynamic before that. I think this show just didn’t know how to give Stiles a love interest in an organic story manner, and the unfortunate side effect each time has been the detriment of the female characters who are assigned to him, which makes Stiles’ love life one of the least lovely representational aspects of this entire series. Eek.

The good news is, my gripe with the way they handled Lydia is my only serious beef with an otherwise stellar season; it had other imperfections, certainly, and I wouldn’t call it their best, though it had moments when it looked that way. I coulda done without Theo, to be honest, and I’m not sure he added anything necessary to the season. Malia was kinda under-played, though I don’t mind too much because she was still a strong presence, her personal plot stuff was subtle and that’s not a bad thing. Hayden was more underplayed, and that’s less ok because she’s newer and not as clear a character as Malia, plus I feel like Theo in the last couple of episodes could have been traded out for Hayden and it wouldn’t mess up anything (valuable story time taken up by Theo scenes in general is something worth frowning about). They didn’t really explain why Douglas could control Parrish, which left our poor Dreamboat as a pawn for most of the season for no apparent reason beyond it being narratively convenient. Also they had some weirdly-spent time in the late-mid episodes of the season (starting from the same episode Theo returned...) that could have been better paced and structured to make the finale even stronger. I could sit here and complain and nitpick, but these are ultimately fairly minor quibbles (many of which can be narrowed down to one central culprit: Theo) that prevent this from being a series-best season in my eyes, though it’s still up there as a top contender and when the season was on point, it looked unstoppable. They still successfully turned in some excellent television despite the loss of one of the show’s best assets, and they still told a story about metaphysical existence that was coherent and consistent and never talked down to its audience, and that’s really something to be happy about. They still gave us a Nazi Alpha werewolf in a subplot that was as outrageous as it was restrained, plus they made good use of Corey, whose presence I was not sure would work out in the long run for the show. I will always be available to rail against unnecessary romances and unnecessary Theos, but that doesn’t change the fact that this show remains a delight and a blessing, not only in terms of the positive representation it offers this blog but also for the wild, bombastic, unashamed imagination it offers us all.

#Teen Wolf #Teen Wolf season six #Bechdel Test #female representation #full season review

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theirise-blog · 6 years

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EVE’S SELF - ESTEEM. after the events of pl vs aa , in the bonus chapters , we are able to return to labyrinthia one year after the events of the main game . when we meet with eve again , she is notably shyer than she was before , often needing to hide behind various personas in order to properly function in her day to day life . we see this when she clearly assumes the authoritative position of high inquisitor darklaw when dealing with her subordinate , barnham , as well as the dramatic facade of the great witch when greeting phoenix and layton . when espella persuades her to discard the latter , or when eve is forced to behave in a manner befitting one of her facades without wearing the associated disguise ( such as performing in a dramatic manner without wearing her great witch costume ) , eve shows apparent discomfort and nervousness , becoming prone to embarrassment and being extremely self - conscious of her own actions

as a result , the characters quickly become aware that eve has little to no confidence issues performing in accordance to the character she assumes . this can be attributed to the fact that she has spent a decade living as both of these roles simultaneously , as well as the fact that the hidden persona of ‘eve’ never had to be brought to light . whereas eve is highly aware of the fact that the facade of high inquisitor is respected by everyone and that the great witch is known for her dramatics , thus resulting in her having little worry about being shunned or criticised as long as she acts in accordance to their expectations , ‘eve’ is unknown territory and thus prone to criticism , leading her to become extremely uncertain of herself when she perceives herself to no longer have the safety net of either of her facades to fall back on

this habit of hiding behind constructed facades is typical with people suffering from low self - esteem , of which a considerable portion , if not the entire reason , originates from holding a permanent and irreplaceable position under a person who abused the extent of her rare ability for the sake of his daughter ( and , in some regards , eve herself ) whilst also creating a society which shunned magic entirely . this subsequently created an inherent fear of her true self , ‘eve’ , being exposed since she was the very witch they had learnt to hate . in short , the main source of eve’s crippling lack of self - confidence can be attributed to arthur cantabella alone and though eve eventually overcomes her self - esteem issues , she never forgives cantabella for his actions considering the impact they had on herself , her father , and labyrinthia as a whole . deciding whether or not to forgive cantabella is one of the biggest hurdles eve has to face in building back her self - confidence , as the unease with her resentment towards him and the potential difficulties it may bring in regards to her dear friendship with espella holds her back from coming to terms with the fact that , whilst she might act in a civil manner with him , she does not NEED to forgive someone who hurt her , regardless of their reasons

make no mistake , when eve eventually builds back her self - esteem , she does not discard either of her facades , at least not completely . having to sustain their characters for approximately 10 years , especially whilst growing as a person herself , means that both the figures of the high inquisitor and the great witch are very much a part of who eve is , and coming to terms with the fact that she can still use mannerisms associated with either of the two facades and yet still be herself is another , albeit smaller , hurdle she comes across whilst becoming the more confident figure most come to see in her main verse

another aspect of eve’s low self - esteem can be attributed to her overwhelming devotion to espella , however , this can also be linked back to arthur cantabella’s manipulation . after the devastating events of the great fire , which not only destroyed the town but also killed everyone in it , arthur cantabella , perhaps unwittingly , played upon eve’s devotion to her dear childhood friend and amplified it tenfold , crafting a world in which everything she was required to do was to ensure espella’s mental stability . whilst , certes , the death of her father caused eve’s dedication to waver considerably to the point where she was willing to use and hurt espella to enact revenge upon arthur cantabella , up until that point , espella’s wellbeing was placed above eve’s in almost every conceivable way . eve’s mental health declined and in turn , her self - worth , as she never learnt how to dedicate anything for herself ( even her rebellion against arthur was done for the townspeople and her late father . her own wellbeing was considered second even there and not considered important enough on its own to risk espella or labyrinthia as a whole ) , so when the story came to a close , eve was left without a purpose in the middle of a town ready to move forward . unsurprising then , that she would opt to commit herself to labyrinthia’s rebuilding forthwith , instead of taking some time away from the island . in addition , eve’s mindset of always putting espella first is ever more apparent as she struggles with building back her self - esteem . as noted above , during eve’s dilemma in regards to her decision as to whether or not she should forgive cantabella for his actions , it often holds eve back from doing anything for her own benefit if it might hurt espella in any conceivable way , even if only slightly , as such would have been essentially forbidden during the ‘story’

keep in mind that this devotion would have only worsened considerably in the aftermath of her argument with her father , of which the driving aspect was eve’s perception that newton cared more for the town than he did for his own daughter . being entirely cognisant of the simple fact that a considerable part of the labyrinthia experiment was executed for espella’s sake , perhaps the only saving grace for eve’s rapidly deteriorating self - worth was the belief that her father considered her to be most important figure in his life , thus when that belief was shattered and newton failed to convince her otherwise , all of eve’s self - esteem , or what little remained of it at that point , crumbled into nothing , resulting in eve only further dedicating herself to the well - being of the town and childhood friend , espella , as only in the world created for them did eve , or rather , her personas , matter

to reiterate a common theme , this willingness , or need , to commit herself to something or someone else eventually fades in the foreseeable future , though , not completely , which should not be considered a bad thing . dedication is an important part of any relationship and thus not damaging permitted it is kept healthy . in staying upon the island of labyrinthia and protecting it as the great witch , eve displays a level of devotion akin to that of a benevolent queen rather than an indentured slave ; in short , eve chooses to take on the responsibility rather than it being forced upon her , nor is it done for the sake of being appreciated . it should be noted that keeping labyrinthia safe from the knowledge of the general public is not an act without benefit for eve either . in fact , it is likely it benefits herself and the magical beasts that eventually come to call labyrinthia their home considerably more than the human townspeople . eve fully recalls the torment of her previous incarnation and thus , in dictating who may see or visit the island , she keeps herself secure and safe from harm , only ever bending to the desires of those she trusts completely , though even then , eve has rules which cannot be broken under any circumstances

this , however , does not make her selfish . certes , by the time eve takes up the position of great witch once more , her primary dedication is to herself and her own well - being , eve ultimately remains willing to help and nurture others permitted it has no negative impact on herself . in doing so , eve ensures that she won’t be taken advantage of or abused , and if she becomes aware of maltreatment , she will put a stop to it forthwith and without hesitation . by the events of aa 4 and 5 ( roughly 8 years after the events of pl vs aa’s special chapters ) , eve’s self - worth is no longer something that can be affected by another’s actions , words or thoughts

#✧ ` ‹ ᴅᴀʀᴋʟᴀᴡ › — * ⸢ HEADCANON. ⸥#long post #hi i love eve w/ all my heart #u can fight me #on her canon divergency but idc

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gocchisama · 7 years

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Normal is the new beautiful : Story of Nagahama Neru (長濱ねる）

Have you ever fell in love with one of your classmates? Peeking at her desk, hoping she doesn’t notice you, so you can keep looking at her. Someone you want to start a conversation with, but you’re too shy to do so. Japanese high schooler are often on the romantic side, thanks to this huge culture carried through manga and anime. Neru has this perfect image of lovely girl next door that you often see in shoujo or shonen. But it isn’t fiction. Sometime life doesn’t go the way you wanted, and you have to force your way through, building this such needed resilience to go forward. Behind this sweet smile, stand a girl who search for answers. Is Keyakizaka one of them?

“A girl in search of her honest feelings”

Let’s talk about the girl herself for a bit. Someone who’s into Keyaki most surely knows her unusual introduction to the group. Like Shinoda Mariko before her, Neru joined as 1.5 gen member because she didn’t went to Keyakizaka final audition. Her parents forbid it, even taking her back to Nagasaki. But seeing Neru’s potential, Keyakizaka staff invited Neru’s parent to attend a Nogizaka concert, and it eventually changed their mind. She then joined as Hiragana Keyaki (under-like members of Keyakizaka) and Kanji Keyaki kennin for the second single, Sekai ni wa ai shikanai. It was though for her; she couldn’t mix as well as the other kanji keyaki because she started late (she wasn’t in Silent majority senbatsu), but she didn’t took part in hiragana lessons either because she was busy in kanji keyaki promotion. Question rised: where did she belong to? Up to this day, we still don’t know. But don’t let her choose between kanji and hiragana, it’s impossible.

Most of pessimistic fans would say it’s a staged scenario to push her. Because she’s having an hard time, fans start feeling sympathy toward her. Well yes, she is popular (because of this romance affinity japanese have) but struggling to know her place in Keyakizaka was real. Yonetani nanami confessed in a Keya Room episode that she didn’t accepted Neru right away. It’s only natural, right? When someone is a newcomer in your close circle of friend, you can’t immediately be comfortable like you are with the others. However Neru won member’s hearts with her natural joy, easy going character, and light sense of humor. Members were fast to realize she just wanted to get along with everyone, and not taking someone’s else place. Being Hiragana instead of Keyaki didn’t matter anymore.

“Neru, like Yurina, was given a Solo in Keyaki second single”

With that issue resolved, Neru started to work on her individual skills. Fans started to notice her thanks to her weird and lovely individual PV, where she sang all names of the periodic element board, and thereafter all irregular english verbs. To see Neru doing a moonwalk while chanting uranium, or spelling sleep slept slept while headbanging, you have to admit it marks people mind. In her third attempt, it was a regular short film about “rules”, where she displays great acting skills, feeling very genuine and natural. Furthermore, she took part in Japanese variety show, answering quizz in order to earn 1 million yen for her team, something that only a few idol of the 48group could. Before being in Keyakizaka, she won a special prize in a cooking contest, with innovative kebab style sugar crepe.

Neru is smart, cute, funny and talented. She gets closer and closer to this “shoujo” ideal fans yearn for. It didn’t take long before she claims top position in member’s popularity chart, even being number one in Twitter most mentions in the group. Neru profile has high standard, but as a matter of fact, it isn’t something original. We have seen many other idols who are good at everything, like Yamamoto Sayaka. So why is she exceeding observers expectation in term of popularity? Because it is Keyakizaka. By contrast, something cool will always shine in a pool of cute, and vice versa. Because Keyaki is about rebellion and willpower, Neru orthodox image comes out amplified. Management is fully aware and try to develop it, by giving her a slow paced, cute song as solo. Neru presence and importance in Keyakizaka increased as her personality balance well with the style of the group.

“high socks, pink cardigan and silver ribbon; Japanese uniform aesthetics bring out the best of japanese girls feminity and youth”

Neru’s situation can be seen as very propitious to a success in Keyakizaka. But it isn’t the case, and she had to deal with a lot of pressure in a short period of time. People are often worried of Yurina hectic schedule, but Neru’s has nothing to blush from it : Not only she participates in all Kanji A and B side, but she also has to learn Hiragana B-side songs. Not counting her 2 solo and duo/quatuor with Yurina and Yuichanzu. Despite her hard work, she had to compromise. It’s quite cruel to put her in Yurina��s place in hiragana first showcase for their silent majority performance. You could obviously feel the lack of training, and beyond that, the gap of character between Neru and Yurina. It was management mistake to think Neru could manage to do a decent performance with such little time. And it affected her image. That her dancing is subpar of other members, or keyakizaka standard.

Can you imagine it? She was 17 when joining Keyakizaka (like Akanen) and was at the end of crossroads, where you choose to continue college. She’s a diligent student, but chose to be an idol. This same world that sometimes shows a cruel side, like asking for a perfect performance with minimum of preparation. An unfairness that could waver anyone’s determination to reach their goal, because they are not capable. Japan is still a society that hugely rely on academic background, and to choose the idol path instead of college is understandably contested by her parents. This is something that contrast with her overall sweet side. She went as far as confronting her parent to do what she wants to do. She’s not hesitant like those shounen female character who are often painted as weak and dependable to the male hero.

It’s not about being all sweet, or all cool of a character. Even though Keyakizaka staff built Neru character to be sweet, it doesn’t exclude the fact that each person hold a complex personality, that you need to cover as a whole to understand someone. Neru didn’t dislike studying. She likes subject like Philosophy, or science. But she wanted to try something new, something she decided for herself, and not what her parents told her to do. Despite her sweet character, she was actually the first to do an act of rebellion.

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“Nagahama Neru is in fact a very entertaining girl, very connected to her fans”

It would be pretentious of me to know what kind of girl is Nagahama Neru. But there’s few hints scattered on all the data available. First, her blogs. She talks a lot about her relationship with the members. Probably because she was in a delicate situation of not belonging to kanji nor hiragana, becoming an important member on both side is now her biggest strength. She entrusted herself the mission to help the members get closer, like W-Keyakizaka no uta song. To break the distance between generation, is a harder task than we think. For example, Yukirin confessed she never was close to Kojima Haruna, despite many concerts, senbatsu promotions they did over the years. It’s hard, but it is also essential to build the group unity. The girls need to learn to open their heart.

In variety, she shows that her intelligence isn’t all about having good grades. There’s also how she use her screentime to get noticed. When to make cute face, react to host pun or joke, give sassy anecdote of other members. She’s also aware it’s good to show her emotions, when being overjoyed by other members reaction when joining the 2nd single senbatsu, or when Watanabe Risa read Yonetani nanami’s letter apologizing to her. How she juggles with those opportunities helps her not being a one-dimensional idol. Watanabe Mayu was much more of the orthodox style, but her image of cyborg idol was too strong and she had a hard time to graduate from it.

“In Keyakizaka 4th single, she was next to Techi. Will she be center in the 5th?”

With all the opportunities brought by management, her good image as an individual (the others are more known as pairing, like Za cool, Yuichanzu), and the necessary change of Keyakizaka type of song makes me think she will lead the A-side of the next single. Neru never showed the ambition to take the 0 position, but if it’s the need of the group, she will gladly take it on. Because Neru has a great sense of responsability. When we think of reliable, mother figure-like character, we tend to think of Fuuchan or Oda nana. Neru is more like of a “i will do my best” responsible type. She doesn’t want to let people down.

In the future, we can expect her to break through in variety. This little sister character is loved by japanese audience, like Hirose Suzu or Arimura Kasumi before her. Her presence in variety is Key for Keyakizaka to get national recognition. But as said above, she’s also the key to tie kanji and hiragana keyaki together, and ensure the group unity. Without noticing, Neru became an irreplaceable existence for Keyakizaka outside and inside. You don’t need to read manga to follow exciting stories. You just have to follow neru’s normal life. I wish i could live such an exciting life, but unfortunately, pink cardigan and cute skirt doesn’t suit me as much as they suits her.

#nagahama neru #keyakizaka46 #hirate yurina #moriya akane #sugai yuuka #長濱ねる #欅坂46

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