#im undergoing something and i dont like it whats happening

[axellis-archv-2]

looking at you guys and im very cross jumpingjack gif for size

#📗 my post #but also for me to look at . who said that? #🎆 ramattrα #im undergoing something and i dont like it whats happening

[h2bakugou]

hello hello, old friends, fans and readers!

god its been AGES. hi im alive ish-we’ll touch on that in a minute, but hi!

i miss writing so much, so much has happened, and i wish i could say im coming back, but i truly dont see a future for this blog, as much as it means the world to me, it wouldnt feel right coming back when i havent watched mha in years.

for starters, i wanna say thank you for the continued love and appreciation of my works, i know they’re not the best, but they’re what i considered some of my best work, for the time being lol. im 21 now, and its crazy to think about how long ago it really feels to look back at this stuff. i still love writing, i still love to read, i havent written anything worth posting in my opinion but if i do, this blog will be the first to know about it!

onto the health side of things, tw for cancer

i was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin’s lymphoma around the end of 2023, and have been undergoing chemotherapy for the past few months. my last scheduled treatment is the beginning of april but things are looking good. im hoping to make a decent recovery or at least have hair by the end of this year. i truly truly want to write again when im done with chemo. i keep telling myself i need to write again, work has kicked back into full gear after taking three months off, which i thought would’ve been the perfect time to stage some sort of writing come back, but life has been so utterly utterly busy. i hate that even with every fibre of my being, most of my ideas trickle down and out of my brain before i can even write them down on a piece of paper or a sticky note.

i miss the connection that writing brought me with like-minded readers and artists, and enjoyers. i miss the bliss of publishing something that felt ready to be published. i miss it all, and im so so so looking forward to that breath of fresh air again when i can calm down and write something that truly feels worth reading. and again, i want all of you to be the first to know about it.

i sound a little silly im sure, i havent posted in ages, and i know this account lays dormant for the most part but i still think about it all the time. this account is truly something special and i hope it is for someone else out there too.

no matter what you face, or what you’re going through, you’re not alone. you are loved. take care of yourselves!!

i shall be plotting a return of some kind, for now one battle at a time, oh yeah and fuck cancer.

[goofyjelly]

Watching Spock charades ✨ and I have THOUGHTS

okay the all caps made it sound bad 😭 Im not gonna dunk on it, okay

I am LIVING for the fact that they literally went :

"yea we changed Spock into a teenage boy. Yea, on the night he's supposed to undergo this huge marriage ritual. Yea his in laws hate him. We stay silly ☺️"

Everyone's already talked about the bacon thing, obviously- like idk why that's there. That's my only , like , "complaint" so far; I am living for every other moment so far tho fjskfjsk.

SPOCK PUT ON THE BEANIE!!! He did the thing!!! The Spock thing!!!

Also i just have to assume the "fake ears" they give him are just... The props they normally use fjlsjfksnf

I absolutely LOVE that Uhura and Erica are immediately on board with Chapel's plan, this is friendship goals

OOOP CHAPEL-

Bestie, I'm sorry but your crush is EXTREMELY obvious even the aliens know

PFFFFFFF ORTEGAS AND UHURA JUST- THEY JUST TURN AROUND

I fucking love this episode, man. Its got me laughing.

HE WHAT

HE-

Now that was sweet 🥺 And Logical™ of course... To divert shields.

TPrings mother is such a bitch, usually I stand for woman's wrongs but she is SLANDERING Spock and Amanda.

Amanda has been slandered her WHOLE TIME ON VULCAN!!!

"You're a disappointment" SHUT THE FUCK UP- DONT BRING HIS FATHER UP-

THE BATHROOM SCENE!!

Thank You, Ethan Peck 👏👏👏

Pike WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Pike has a father complex; he just wants to be everyone's dad and it's so funny to me.

The way TPring is like eyeing Chapel and Spock- she fucking knows what's up. Like the way Spock is acting so suspicious already makes it seem like something's wrong but it looks like they're legit having an affair when they literally aren't.

CHARADES

Because of course. The human mating ritual. It is essential for every human marriage of course. They've gotta play charades. Thank you Captain Christopher Pike for your QUICK THINKING AND INGENUITY

FUCK YEA SPOCK!!!! SAY IT!!!

STAND UP FOR YOUR MOTHER GOD DAMN IT! This ENTIRE EPISODE Amanda has let herself and Spock be just stepped on by T'Pring's family and it's NOT FAIR!!

POP OFF, SPOCK!!!

I feel bad for T'Pring tho- like I get that Human Spock was struggling with telling T'Pring about the accident but SHE DESERVED TO KNOW!!! And now she's also humiliated and has to deal with her family and everything because of what Spock FAILED TO TELL HER!!!

If they just talked it out she would've been able to help somehow! She's responsible and capable, and at least then they would've been in the same boat (in a way).

Ig Spock was struggling to "give her bad news" earlier when her day was already going to shit and tbh, Fair. But still. Yk. They did her DIRTY

I feel for Chapel tho. Literally Me™

Okay okay more serious: I really like how her character is tackled so far. Like, she-

OH OH OH OKAY OKA-

OH WOW

ERM THAT JUST HAPPENED

#SNW Spock charades #star trek strange new worlds #star trek #star trek snw #s'chn t'gai spock #spock #t'pring #chapel #pike #goofy jelly thoughts

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hi all one of bookies friends here.

Everyone needs to calm down

Look at the facts.

Video- showed her without ANY ring a lot

Video-could he be anymore obvious with his left

hand.

Everytime he does or has something come out she does something. This time she shot herself in the hand twice.

And no I no longer find Chris attractive. If your team real i dont care. I just dont like seeing my friends on here who are team or get all worked up bwcause its nothing. It is for nothing we've, proven its fake.

How many holes can you put into a hot air balloon before it can't fly anymore?

To the GP (genaral public) they are married so right after all it was exposed the rings are fake. teams are gunna have to do or try and do clean up for a while. We knew this was going to happen. I expect to see shit about one flying here or the other flying there or they both fly to meet each other. I mean how many roumers in 2 days can start about who is where? It just

makes it look worse and more comical. A real couple wouldnt do damage control at all. Just because a website publishes an article doesn't mean it's a website that reports news or the truth. Remember People mag, US weekly etc is are still mags they use click bait. Don't freak out everytime you hear a rumor that she flew here or did this or that . The fact is its been de bunked disproven if they choose to continue on with the PR BS thats on them a lot of fans are not playing along any more. Im.not playjng along anymore im done with it. I saw a post in instagram that sums everything us well it said

"I am on team PR. But if he wants people

to believe he's with her, then we should

just leave him to it. It's true he owes

us nothing but we also don't owe him

our support anymore."

What point is there to get upset or nervous or anxious over something just because there a rumor about a plane ride. If you wanna believe theres a plane ride maybe its to sign a new contract that this shit is over.

You know its fake i know its fake. And you know what they showed they were gifts from cartier. Maybe her team would shse poney up the money to get cz versions. Frankly it would be even funnier.

We dont owe chris anything.

If you feel silly or stupid or being duped by thibking he was a better man than he is dont be, everyone was. It only goes to show the man could've had awards by now if he picked better scripts

Clean up is gunna happen. WE HAVE SEEN IT. the less you play into it the faster itll be over with.

But dont let this distract you or upset you from a joyus holiday season or take away any happiness you're experiencing or could be experiencing. Focus on something positive and happy. At the very least i saw a blog with a debate about who qas hotter Sam or Castiel. Now THAT is some shit worth arguing about. Not an airheaded Nazi

Thank you, my dear An🫶n.

Honestly, this is a serious wakeup call to a lot. That ring debacle/exposure is something to note, and it could be the sign to many of being done.

And if they aren't, well, I'm happy to partially become the blog that becomes a nostalgic stop for old Chris, Chris Evans before he was a shit person in a shit relationship with a shit person, and Chris Evans Characters Appreciation and absolute SIMPING!!! Oh, and the occasional Albitch hate post, because I still hate her 😆

I'm even thinking it's time to add more Fandoms to my roster. Marvel characters are high on that list. So are book discussions, because I am enjoying that as well 😁

We'll see. The world is my oyster now, especially with that big bomb that fell into our laps, as well as the fact I'm on break and about to undergo the busiest month of my life!!!

It's going to be filled with holiday cheer, family love, Christmas shopping, reconnecting with everyone, and focusing on improving the one love that came back a few months ago, after years... Writing 😊

So, my beautiful weirdos, can we PLEASE take steps towards something new? I think we could use some respite after months, maybe even years of PR Debunking Hell... 🫶

Also, there are certain topics that I don't want to be discussed on here. Because I don't feel comfortable being in the middle of any debate whatsoever (you can ask my dearest friends on here, they know I hate politics and avoid discussing, and eventually debating it, as much as possible). Until my next post, Beloveds 🤗

#An🫶n asks #thank you! #booky reacts #chris evans #chris evans fandom #still a place to hate Albitch. #booky answers #on to new horizons #Happy 25 Days Before Christmas to those who celebrate it Bitchez!!!! #Happy Hanukkah as well... don't know when but figured #I should embrace different cultures on here 😁 #DON'T AT ME ABOUT THE WAR EITHER

[selamat-linting]

when i was really young, i would get these weird moment. like, first one happens during my dad's first arrest. i was 9. the police were barging in and speaking harshly over my mother. they ransacked the entire house looking for meth, and they came into me and my sister's room. i know what was going on, i was already awake then, but i kept pretending to sleep because i dont know what to do. i remember that i dont really "feel" sad at the time, but i do move around a bit trying to make my sleeping face looks as sad and pitiful as possible, and even let out a single tear and think "good, im not screaming like a petulant child im being a sad girl undergoing her traumatic backstory the police will pity you and your father once they see this. they should feel bad"

another instance of that happening occurs around four years later when my parents had this really nasty fight in prison that got the social workers and the warden put us all in the same room to hash it out. i was in the corner, listening to everything and i noticed someone was checking from the door. i took that opportunity to let out a tear i've been holding in and angling myself so the tears would be visible without them realizing i knew they were watching with the wish that they'd think "oh that poor kid!"

looking back then, i was obviously upset. but the emotions are just so big and out of control i cant bring myself to feel it and i keep denying that all of my reactions are just for other people, that im only performing for something. its such a weird thing to feel in retrospect. seeing that yourself in the past was viewing themselves like an outsider gazing in on an object. i feel like it was a completely different person that was living in my body at that moment. and i cant even say i grew out of it, because i still have thoughts that feels like its just a smaller and more calculated attention seeking un-self aware behavior, only more of as unwanted intrusion, thoughts that doesnt feel like it came from myself but its there in my head anyway. and sometimes i believed it.

i hope im old enough not to ever fall into that state of mind again, but if i ever do, i dont want to come back up.

#mental illness posting #ambigously insane is a label im very attached to lately

[gundamseedfreedom]

so in thinking more about the potential ways Stella could be alive i have 2 reasonable theories and then something more cracked out

in terms of reasonable theres the clone route for sure, but i feel like the potential for her to undergo a Neo arc is a lot more interesting, and can lead to what i wanted for her all along (being raised by mu and murrue who actively do what they can to keep her alive)

Mu having to see this and dig through his brain for WHO exactly this girl is and why he feels so much sadness and anger at this situation from a deeper perspective he cant necessarily piece together yet would be really good.

the roughest part i think of bringing stella back is definitely "ok well... are shinn and lunamaria still together." which id rather them not be together from the beginning of the movie if theyll recanonize shinnstella (if shes coming back, They Will Likely Do This) and alternatively if shinn and luna ARENT broken up they handle shinnstella vs shinnluna with Tact. i really do not want them to butcher lunamarias character when it comes to that potentially happening

the most cracked out and impossible (but definitely neat to think about) is definitely stella clawing herself out of the water and Going Through It for a while but its very much the least likely no matter how interesting it is to think about.

im really just hoping things are handled with Tact and Proper Care and i dont doubt fukuda to do so considering the way he wrote the movie was from piecing together the late morosawa's scripts.

to note on why i think stellas returning if you either havent seen the trailer or just Don't Know a few things:

>Houko Kuwashima has been teasing a role in this movie for Years.

>Combining this with the water imagery in the intro of the trailer on top of the fully modeled Destroy, that leaves some room to assume.

>Fukuda this morning tweeted about the compilation movie rereleases having retcons and changes

aside from active hinting in those veins though its entirely possible stella was a consistent plot point through most of those drafts

#gundam seed freedom #gundam seed destiny #stella loussier #generally just... movie theorizing but #theres a lot of evidence to support stella returning in some fashion

[softwarmfur]

sorry to get real for a moment on the crazy jokes + manpussy blog for a second but i think being autistic as a child and in retrospect having an EXTREMELY skewed view of myself and how i was supposed to be is like. STILL fucking me up even today. like ok whatever the stuff that happens to you as a kid fucks you up big surprise...i just didnt think it was that bad...ironically enough i think my dad is a very kind and gentle parent also has something to do with it and i think this led to me processing emotions specifically anger weird because he is autistic and we have always been super close because we're so similar and seeing him almost never speak out in anger may have given me this idea that. i couldnt do that. or i was bad. or something.... not surprisingly i got really angry all the time in middle school just not being able to be in control of certain things made me lash out all the time....fighting with classmates in the halls and stabbing them with scissors and biting and scratching like i was a fucking preschooler well into double digit ages...embarassing in retrospect but i think if i didnt do all those things something worse would have happened. then the depression era and i was too tired all the time to be angry about anything and then i just naturally came out of it and im fine now. except oops! i get mad enough to legit kill someone every day but it only lasts like a second at a time so i never do anything about it. and its like i genuinely have no outlet because 99% of the time i can't even muster up that kind of anger in the slightest like im genuinely okay and chill. when i try to analyze what i was feeling i genuinely cant. like at all. i try to feel that anger i was feeling so strongly just a second ago and its just gone. nothing there like it was scooped clean out of me. out of nowhere i get so mad i see red but it fizzles out to nothing as soon as i feel it so it never goes anywhere. i feel like my anger is off balance, like i can only feel extremes - either im super calm all the time except for when im undergoing a titanic rage. and then im back to normal. i dont even know what anger feels like until i feel it then i immediately forget. im like the Sisyphus of anger lol

#is it possible. to give yourself a rage disorder? #vent post

[skyephobic]

hi! this ask is my response to ur response lmao because i just can't stop the urge to response😭 so apologies for a messy ask

but yep yep!! akane isolating himself is the solution he believed in to stop going insane (although would've love to see an akane going insane) and for him to actually prefer to clean clocks is hilarious because in canon, akane is annoyed for being an errand kid. and i love the clock keepers having a fam dynamic so i appreciate the idea of akane being a big bro to mirai – it's fucking cute.

i like ur additional change that akane is more stubborn and stuck in the denial stage whenever something new happens! gotta love the irony that a clock keeper of the present fears for the goddamn present.

i like aoiaoi experiencing a wholesome friendship in another life so instead of letting it become a plot relevance, i offer aoi being able to see the other side in an unclear manner because of her bloodline. considering that the akanes are associated with the spiritual world (in the past, that is) because of their special blood, it would've make sense(?) that all of them can see the other side but most doesn't have a strong sixth sense.

as such, i offer again the akane aoi in this world was born with a weak sixth sense. but she pretends that she can't see the mokkes stealing the belongings of her classmates nor acknowledging that nene-chan talking with a spiritual being that aoi can't see – after all, nene-chan is just being silly and tell aoi about it, right? she insists to herself that she's paranoid for thinking that someone is watching her skipped the fourth step of the staircase and that tsuchigomori-sensei had two arms, not an extra four. aoi even pretends that akane is a schoolmate she talks to when the two of them are alone and not a lost spirit who could've died wearing theatric clothes because akane aoi isn't that desperate to fight off the loneliness to the point of thinking that a non-human being as a close friend.

akane might understand what a television or telephone is and is undergoing the process of understanding twitter, but the slangs of the current generation will confuse the hell out of him ("teru what is lmao" "it means laughing my ass off" "but you're not laughing?") argh the possibility of akane being adorable for asking questions and getting more excited is fucking cute

AND YES TERUKANE IM SORRY BUT I JUST CANT HELP SLIPPING THEM IN!! i would've love to think more about them in this au but i ran out of thinking juice. but gotta love that akane's heart be pounding whenever he saw teru and teru just being conflicted that he might've fall in love with a supernatural hahaa hope those two suffer here

and i am glad that my theory on the clock keepers race somewhat make sense! and the evolution of their abilities might've come from their rumours ever since these three started to remain on the near shore. (just remembered about the rumours shit oops)

and you're welcome! i am glad that my asks fueled ur insane jshk thoughts!!!

DONT APOLOGIZE IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE RESPONDING TO THESE ??? ITS GENUINELY SO FUN I PROMISE ur free to dm me about these too because im so happy talking about akane

its not like he LIKES cleaning, he just doesn't know what to do- and it's a part of his routine. mirai asks him why he does it if he doesnt like it and hes just like "i have to" When no the fuck he doesnt. his routine is clean -> reorganize -> take care of mirai -> clean again . mirai follows him around the entire time or he carries her.. im obsessed with akane being her older brother figure i can go on about it for hours ..

akane fearing what he controls is so.. akane of him. i can't explain it but he fears the concept of time itself because it passes by so fast and he doesnt even realize he cant grasp it all

ALSO ?? UR ANALYIZATIONS ON AOI ND THE AOIAOI FRIENDSHIP ARE SO GOOD ???? im better at analyzing characters like akane and mitsuba but ur analyzations are just so . I wnat to eat them

I LOVE INCLUDING TERUKANE IN AUS DONT U WORRY teru explaining present day terms and slang and akane's just staring at him with a love-struck expression and teru notices but he just keeps talking .. akane's listening but he looks so in love its insane he doesnt even realize i want to push him out of the way so teru will give me a chance

ALL UR THEORIES ARE SO GOOD I LOVE THEM ALL .... PLEASE KEEP GOING ... ive never heard anyone talk about the other clock keepers so im so happy Litrelaly

this is so adding to my insaneness im ENJOYING IT !!!!

#akane aoi #tbhk #jshk #ask box #ask me whatever #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun

[thepayloadmoves]

im drunk, enid is trans, and you absolutely cannot change my mind on this and here is why: (spoilers for Wednesday ahead)

first of all, pink and blue in her hair aside, not only is she hyper feminine (as transwomen often become hyperfeminine, source: my trans gf who knows many other transwomen) but it is, to my knowledge, never explicitly stated why she cannot wolf out at the start of the series. just that she can't and might not. she also identifies herself as a kitty, which i did not think much of UNTIL the parent's day episode, and here's why:

not only is her mom so fucking overbearing and insistent that enid go to a "conversion camp" in order to wolf out, but is wolfing out late so common that there needs to be literal lycanthropy conversion camps in order to make it happen for young werewolves who are a little late on the path? something hit me during that scene while enid refused to go, stating that if she was meant to wolf out then she would do it on her own, and it's this:

if she is trans, which i think she most certainly is, and wolfing out often happens early on in puberty or the early teenage years, it is very much possible that sweet, sharp little enid here went on puberty blockers before wolfing out could potentially happen, thus throwing off her biological timeline for when wolfing out would naturally happen for her body if she had not begun taking puberty blockers and undergoing HRT.

the doctors say they dont know why she can't and that she might never actually do it, but how much of that is actually true? maybe the doctors dont actually have a lot of experience with MtF werewolves, and therefore, would not know the typical species response to puberty blockers combined with taking estrogen. it's entirely possible they have plenty of data on FtM werewolves, but MtF werewolves could still be a bit of a mystery to them so they don't really know. not only is her human body adjusting to becoming a woman's body but her wolf bits and bobs have to adjust as well from male wolf biology to female wolf biology.

further evidence that backs this up could be read as normal werewolf worries, but the fact that enid hemms and haws about if "two species" can "make it together" to her love interest, a male gorgon, speaks a lot to me. not only does it make sense for her to worry about dating someone of a different species, but trans people who are not aro/ace often worry about the same exact thing: what if they, as a transgender person of whatever flavor, cannot find a romantic/sexual connection? Even if Enid was Aro/Ace, there's still that deep set fear: what if they can't find anyone at all and are destined to be alone?

of course it is normal werewolf worries to be scared to not be able to find a mate or a pack of her own, especially if she's late to realizing her true werewolf form, but wouldn't that worry just be amplified by not only being hate to wolfing out, but to being a trans werewolf as well? it's no secret that many transgender people ALSO worry about never finding a partner or a "family", so to speak.

the fact is, sugary sharp-claw enid's entire character arc absolutely screams transgender&self-acceptance to me AND to other trans folk i've spoken about this to, especially when it comes to the conversion camp thing and how her mother is so ... like That, and her father simply says that he is proud of her and hugs her, because he inherently accepts who she is and what her life choices are even if she never "wolfs out" properly like her brothers did. Her father does not care if she is trans or cis or straight or gay or wolfs our or does not, he loves his daughter. Her mother wants to send her to conversion therapy. also its cute that her werewolf form has pink and blue fur goodnight

#wednesday #enid is trans #.txt

[interlagosed]

I know we are on a carlando lockdown atm for obvious reasons, but! ever since you made that post about sewis angst, let me tell you I started Thinking - capital T. literally on my notes app writing this. ngl i suck at writing fr.

let's begin...both of being young in the sport which implies a lot of just being young not fully formed people. They just want to go fast ok..."who's this other kid? ok maybe hes nice...ANYWAY...i get to race!!!!!!"

Then Seb starts winning! and like he has his fun ok - do they get together in 2010-11? possibly... once they were both drunk (were they tho??)- it was HOT + unresolved gay feelings for the both of them - they dont think about it for years until...well they do. They never talk about it, is this their first time with a boy? meh I dont think so, still theyre both young experience is limited for the both of them.

But going back to evil child seb, he is immature and not the best at communicating...the whole webber teammate competitiveness, like a bit of a hothead after all. He goes out, he experiences things, he figures his shit out and is relatively chill about it, he can keep it lowkey. Of course, sprinkle some tension of them seeing the other pick someone up at like idk a party, theyre like "uh good for them" but still they LOOK.

2015 happens and years have passed - seb has matured a lil bit, learnt to be professionally mature and maybe more secure in himself, but also he has never had to undergo all the racist abuse LH always had to face - so like liking guys doesnt feels as much as a freak out. + got hurt a little less by people around him?

Seb goes to ferrari in 2016 and LH keeps winning, but! nico...childhood friends turned maybe lovers around 2015 turned enemies. Personally I wont pretend I know what it feels like to be the only black person in a sport, where you're constantly pushing back against undeserved hate - because well Im not a poc so I have 0 knowledge of that nor I feel comfortable pretending that i can imagine it ??? idk how that would factor into lh growth as an individual. But being black and gay? some internalised homophobia must happen somewhere when you're competing in the most sexist of sports( it is sadly).

anyway, the point is...the whole rosberg drama (i hate that anti vaxxer fuck that guy frankly) happens. see THAT interview where lewis almost looks embarrassed of the things nico is saying about seb feeling bad his teammate didnt finish the race...bc well maybe he has got to know seb a bit better and sue him he likes the guy, he respects him and admires him, therefore the "not all of us think like this". They are not romantic feelings he has for him, the relationship with nico and the championship run definitely are definitely enough for him to not have just the mental capacity to even consider that. But, he does feel connected to seb as a person, bc they've both winners ya know - seb in 2016 still had more championships than lewis. So like nico publicly pulling out all the dirty laundry (is this even an english figure of speech?idk) for the world AND seb to see is humiliating. Also, because he did play into all the mind games and over the top macho bs rosberg pulled that year...and that maybe says something about himself just as much as it does for rosberg. for example idk spain 2016 (idk the chronological order between that interview and the spain gp but oh well this is fantasy anyway its doesnt matter). seb being seb sees this, but still they're professionals and competitors! so he makes a joke about it, keeps it not personal bc wtf?! we are f live doing media, leave me out of your pettiness. Still he is very aware of how f up the dynamic is between the 2, say when he talks to lewis pre races and nico is never mentioned - lewis isnt easy to see through but maybe some times he is (poetic description of lewis staring into the void looking very pensive, seb is looking platonically ty very much).

Say towards the end of the season lh and nico stop being intimately involved, things arent good and lh really needs less of whatever the f is going on there.( Lh being more involved in social matters, more outspoken has played a part so far - or at least it should be mentioned, bc you know lewis too did say some ignorant stuff at some point, changing that shows growth and a more open mind...he grows more serene with the idea of being who he is).

2017 and 2018 seb and lewis are both championships contenders, they get together eventually- end of the 2018 season?you choose. But maybe say there's a whole episode about seb showing basic human decency and being able to separate the on track competition from their off track relationship and lewis going "oh". and then they get together again, the sex is still very much HOT, but it just...isnt done with the intention of hurting the other (aftercare happens!) and then lewis goes "OH". Still, because they're still men and obtuse at that they keep it very casual, but they're both clearly falling for one another (i hate having seb being the one pining after lewis during his early ferrari years- let my boy have his love life while those other 2 destroy each other).

ferrari sucks in this universe too, so like seb has to deal with that, bc disappointment is hard to take for so long. Lewis is there, just honestly trying his best, because he has never had to reconcile him winning with also being there and good for someone he's involved with. lewis doesnt know if hes able to step it up...sebastian deserves the best! whilist seb is there being like why is he even there if every weekend im miserable? followed by a misunderstanding about lewis opening up about nico and snapping at seb bc he feels vulnerable. They're a bit distant for like idk a couple of moths, after all this isnt a relationship is it??? we are being adults about this and not acknowledging any of our feelings.

by 2020 they go on winter break with no plans of seeing each other during those months but then one or the other shows up in monaco/switzerland being like "ive never been casual about this like ever pls be my boyfriend? 🫣🫣"and then the other is ":) of course im absolutely not normal about you either:) " 👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏾

ty for coming to worst ted talk ever conceived,prolly conveyed 20% of the angst and feelings i was trying to convey but oh well...im going to sleep. Also, hope tumblr staff wakes the f up :) cheers!

holy shit. presented without comment.

ok maybe one comment: i read this last night while i was half asleep and now i'm reading it in the morning and i'm STILL emotional algjakljga I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL ABOUT YOU how is this so romantic LMAO

#hibi answers #AHHHHH #agkajlgjagja #sewis

[justlittlekatherinethings]

(this isn’t on main bc i don’t have readmores on this mobile version of tumblr. if i can edit one in i will.) cw mental health talk & some negative self talk. and religion woes. and pandemic mention. and cancer mention. wow we are filling up the cw bingo card.

not to blog on a blogging site but the jumble of emotions rn is making me go berserk. i hate being trapped here. the natural environment where i’m at is so beautiful and calming and healing but it gets usurped by the Im gonna Die In Here vibes emanating from my parents (read: mom).

she yelled at me today because my cat was having zoomies and burst open a door upstairs that caused a loud bang and woke her up. i was on a call so i didn’t see her angry texts and apparently that set her off and she stormed upstairs to blame me for the noise. when i said it was Jasper she just got frustrated and said the meanest thing she could think of, which was ofc that I need to get a real job.

i’m sorry im not fucking hireable and still under your roof like i don’t know what to do :( i keep applying for jobs and getting denied or passed over and it’s like. you don’t think that’s frustrating for me?? is it because i don’t show it (bc you taught me how to suppress emotions to keep them safe from you?!!!) like i’m. aough.

sincerely last month i could feel the kms ache creeping back (i have normal depression but in extreme duress the pre-ideation sneaks in again) due to being stressed and the insurmountable hopelessness of it all. i’ve been equal parts guilty and frustrated with myself as well as with the state of things. had a breakdown bc it’s my birthday in a few days and for the first time ever i’ve felt this Dread with it coming. it was like at this year milestone i was supposed to have been out, on my own, doing well and thriving, but like i’m just. here. i don’t want to spend it with my family i just want to curl up alone or drown you know cixhxbdkdks ugh.

those are side tangents. the interaction was so laughably funny like bc i Happened to be awake when the crash happened means I’m failing at getting a real job? like at its core I cant help but laugh bc wtf. but you know in the aftermath i’m just shaking bc it’s so evil and gets exactly at my insecurities and guilt and inherent worthlessness and then it makes me Angry for myself that someone would dare use those to hurt me like that.

it’s such a tangled mess of things. i’ve been scared of being kicked out since i was a kid and realizing i wasn’t religious, i was gay, and that i wouldn’t have any financial support necessary to live if they got tired of me (in that order). they get pissed at me for not spending time with them, but don’t want to see or hear me or think about me unless it’s on their terms. like i’m a doll. or a hermit crab. or yup a houseplant. they don’t support my art and never have (unless it’s making what they deem to be acceptable amounts of money). they don’t think any of my interests are cool or fulfilling even if they are for me. the only thing i do for them is the bare minimum of chores and mail their letters. i’m a blight to their perfect successful family and an embarrassment when people ask about me. But Also I can’t go get a normal retail job or like leave the house to do Anything (unless it’s an errand for them) because what if I get exposed while i need to take care of my Very Paranoid and undergoing cancer treatment & surgery Grandma. that would be so unfair to her :((((( So like which is it.

i just hate living in this toxic environment and want out so badly but have been failing and keep failing at getting a job since i graduated. it translates to all this self hate and frustration because i like, should have Just Done Better or majored in something useful or i dont know not been such a depressed and anxious fuck up.

I know that isn’t being fair to myself or my mental illnesses or the State Of Things and The State of Things 2: Global Pandemic. But maybe if i had less morals in their eyes I could have been rich off of bitcoin making my own tech start up and restructuring the UN from the inside-out…and not a pest animal living in their attic who creeps downstairs to get food and disappears.

I know it’s going to Suck tomorrow and I don’t want to go to sleep and/or wake up and deal with it. I have half a mind to think I’m gonna be woken up at 7 with ice water to the face like I’m a kid again and it’s Time For Church.

Closing thought thesis i guess is that i’m just frustrated and angry and scared.

[nahalism]

I also feel hyperfocused in my role of the situations that happen in my life. But what do you do when you attract the same person, and when i say the same person, i mean that the situation with that person always ends the same way. I get to know them, we have a great time together, then they exhibit that loss of interest by not planning things together/ responding to texts late, i get sad and start stalking them to find out they have whole ass girlfriends. I sometimes wonder that my stalking skills should be used for something greater because im aware these men aint shit. But How does One particularly Break This Pattern??. I am not the type to ask for closure because I dont believe in that. I do not want to get lied to

so this is loaded and im going to unpack it in two layers because i feel like there are two things at play here

– firstly im not an advocate of men being trash, not even in a tongue in cheek way. yes people do fucked up things, but it goes both ways. usually its our ability to pick a partner thats at fault, not the pool of people we're picking from. there are plenty of good people in this world. of course there are bad too, but who you gravitate toward says more about where you currently are in your life, than it does about the person you chose. – when it comes to attracting the same person, if you believe in the law of correspondence, then that individual is merely a reflection of something operating within you. that likeness you both share may be something within you thats overt (your aware of) or covert (your unaware of), we'd have to talk more to unpack it fully, but at some fundamental level you are both a match for eachother. – sometimes its that you crave love but only know how to recognise affection in unavailable/deceptive/'insert harmful quality here' people. sometimes it can be that you are so in denial about your own desire for love that you give off an air of nonchalance and unavailability that repels who you're trying to attract. – the process i personally undergo to help me in this regard is that in between situations that go wrong, i take breaks from introducing any one new to my life (romantically) and i do the healing. i dont just mean heal from the disappointment experienced as a direct consequence of that situation not going as id hoped/planned for. i mean getting down to the root cause of what in me is attracted to these individuals, what in me accepts their behaviour or allows me to be blind to their behaviour, and then addressing what happened to me in my formative years that taught me this blue print of being. once im clear on why this cycle or pattern is playing out for me and how the root of it exists within me, i then begin to look at who i want to be instead of who i have been being. it takes a lot of work and acceptance of the fact that im going to make mistakes, and need to have grace for myself when i do. it also comes with knowing i will lose and gain people, things, and positions in life as i embark on that journey. in order to become something new what i was has to die, and so i have to be willing to let go and put parameters in place for what i will and wont accept in the process of that.

for example, someone who loves me will give me the grace, the mercy, the patience, love and support to grow. people who dont may do any number of things to put me back into the 'shell' of who i was and who they're comfortable with me being. however, i have to accept and commit to who im becoming no matter the cost and trust that what stays or is added to my life is a reflection of that work and its increase in my life, and that whoever leaves or comes to teach me an oftentimes unpleasant lesson, is also blessing me and protecting me with their absence. when that loss feels like rejection or abandonment its important to remember that its actually blessing you, cause i find it can be a huge trigger and make me want to shut off mentally, emotionally and physically and undo all the work ive been doing or question if its actually working. it is. – those boundaries are also necessary because as you become the a fuller version of yourself, you will learn what it looks and feels like to be loved and honoured. that sets the new bar for anyone entering your space for how they treat you, and is how you begin to attract a different type of person that can match your energy and give you what it is you desire from a relationship.

the second and last part to this is a slight read because there is a quote i heard once "your words betray you" and i feel it applies here. its okay to ask for or need closure, and part of that is accepting that sometimes people aren't lying to you. they're trying to give you an answer out of respect or with the intention of doing the right thing, but they actually don't know the answer within themselves (haven't done the work) OR the truth is they just cant give you what you want/need/desire, and were never the person with the capacity to do so. it can be hard to let go of the idea that someone who hurt you and let you down is a villain, and closure can force us into seeing people in a more nuanced light than we are prepared to. this forgiveness work and letting go is tied to what i wrote above, but oftentimes is the last step because you cant forgive what you dont understand and you cant forgive before you are ready to. – i get the sense that your someone who has closed off their desire for love/support from others due to perhaps not having had it when you needed it or from being hurt before, and so now your independence is a shield protecting you from what you feel is the inevitable pain or disappointment on the other side of relationships. if that is the case : 1) check that because you don't want to get yourself into the loop of a fulfilling prophecy. 2) open yourself to the idea that you can open yourself to someone, get hurt, but still survive it and come out with more love to give and receive on the other end. and that 3) when you do the work that allows you to meet the right one for you, it might actually last for your lifetime. and!! that part of what makes it last is multiple conversations where closure and believing that despite their best intentions they hurt you but still want to figure it out is part of it. conflict resolution is harder than walking away or believing that men are full of shit.

<3333 i know that was long but i wrote with as much love and intent as possible because i love you and wanna give you the answer you deserve. if what i said felt harsh, i hope you know it wasnt meant to be mean, + that if i got something wrong but u still wanna talk and reason u can msg me again anytime (both anon or private). sending u infinite blessings

#ask

[mossymultiverse]

{{ What-if asks!

💥 - What would your character's role in a superhero setting be? Would they have powers? What would their powers be? (Personal addition: How would they be similar/different from the powers they already have?)

🪄 - What would your character's role be in a fantasy setting? Would they be a human or a magical creature? (Would they be less cagey if magic stuff was more normal?)

☄️ - What would your character wish for if they found a genie?

[ ooc ]

hm....

💥

well. id defo b a vigilante, bc i hate cops and CANNOT make myself be nice to them. but also i dont like doing Bad Things ::[ might actually not have the fire magic, depending on if its an AU or if its. moss just like. appearing somewhere and seeing its a superhero type of setting, and deciding "fuck it i want in on this mess"

if its an AU then maybe still fire magic (bc im mean and also i like fire magic and am willing to undergo Horrible Medical Malpractice to get it (which is basically how it happened the first time anyway tbh))

would DEFO still hav the weird empathy and illusions, i basically made moss just like. me but Everything I Wish I Could Have. maybe superhero AU moss wouldnt have as much control over their shapeshifting (not that they have much to begin with), or they just wouldnt have shapeshifting at all.

🪄

OH YEAH BABY. obvs not human, humans are great and all but i love being a littol Creachur. would defo be less cagey, i cant stop writing stuff where moss is a little freak and everyone is just. like. "oh huh i dont recognize that species" or "oh hi you can make really big noises for such a little guy" and moss is just like ::]. like ok yes they enjoy weirding ppl out sometimes but mainly they just like the first reactions? like moss will grin showing their teeth and the "correct" response is to go "oh holy shit" but not say anything, and ignore their unusually large/sharp teeth from then on.

THAT BEING SAID. unless the multiverse is a Well Known Thing. there are defo still things moss would b cagey abt. so moss talkin to stanford pines (post-series after everyone has Learned Stuff) would prolly not hide much, if anything.

☄️

depends on the situation they were currently in tbh. but honestly....? moss would (as is polite, at least in most lore moss is aware of) wish the genie free, but otherwise.... moss doesnt really. think they deserve much. and even if they did, its either something they can get (which they can do on their own, no genie required) or something they Can't get (which nothing, nothing, could do).

#[ ooc divider ] #ask game #bit long whoops lol #also i started writing this in character but tbh ooc fits better with these ones #as fun as it would be to have moss be casual about this #i dont think theyd tell the full truth #if any.

[selamat-linting]

anyway, i read a lot of homestuck last night. im currently on act 5 act 2. it was A Lot so i had to sleep it off and divide my commentaries into several parts just so it could sound coherent

-i've heard a lot about how this is the golden age of homestuck. some even told me to just skip acts 1-4. i guess in terms of sheer quality and the variety of media involved in it, its true. the flash games are of higher quality and has a lot of blatantly important lore. the trolls and the beta kids finally try to find an even footing together. jade is finally in the game. everything is coming together. but personally, i miss the simplicity of act 1-4. its really hard to keep up who's who and whats going on right now. and, i read this AFTER homestuck is over. i dont have fellow theorists pointing out details i might have missed. im not done but im due for a reread

-the art also undergoes rapid switching between one styles to the next. i miss the cutesy armless art tbh, but its okay. right now i think we have at least four art styles at play. the anime-ish style, where everyone is drawn with proper arms and body proportions, the hyperdramatic style with a bit too many details in the face, the armless simplistic art from the first chapters, and something introduced from the troll walkthrough game: the 8bit chibi art. the switch seems to be almost random but i did find that the more a character is deep into the building blocks and the doom of the game, the more they are drawn with the hyper dramatic facial experession. best example of this is aradia who is already overwhelmed with hopelessness and doom before the trolls even know theyre going to play a game that ends the world.

-and speaking from a fandom perspective, i've always wondered why people who be attached so hard to homestuck characters. esp how some was elevated into the tumblr sexyman/woman status. like, yes they are well written, interesting characters, but they are also tiny little funko pop looking bug children. why the bishification? okay its true that people can like even benedict cucumberpiss and those block people from minecraft so terrible appearance doesnt protect your characters from being animefied but. its still weird yknow. its not like homestuck is serious half of the time. but then i see the flash video where most of the plot important bits happens and then i get it. hussie occasionally drew the kids in the style that makes teenagers think "oh dang they're cute?". especially karkat! that scene where he woke up on prospit for the first time. he looks like a shonen protagonist in a sports anime. scrawny but feral and determined enough to fight god.

-and the troll walkthrough. oh its gorgeous. must took forever to make. i love how everyone is drawn, i love the simple puzzles, and its such an effective way to explain the dynamics between each member of the group, adding future hints of how the story will progress, explaining what the fuck just happened, and adding more tension and horror. what gets me the most was terezi's playthrough. we could see a bright future of her, where she wears a cute dragon plushie and her human friends are vandalizing her wall, and then there's a cutesy option of sleeping in a pile of junk that suddenly brings you to game over. reminding you that yes, this threat is serious. it gets even scarier after you watch the squiddles end theme where we get the first horrorterror appearance. its very scary

-also, the troll kids could create the universe, make use of impessive machineries, and bring a fuckload of toys. yet none of these kids have proper beds in their base. they just plop to the floor and nap. theyre such kids lol

#homestuck #homestuck liveread #homestuck liveblog

[h2bakugou]

Hey! i just wanted to say that i love your writing. So this may be a little complicated if thats okay but i had cancer when i was younger and i would like to see if you could write about kirishima and bakugo (separately) crush being hit by a quirk that makes them younger again or something like that and them seeing their crush in a horrible state like they cant walk anymore . IM SORRY if this is complicated you dont have to do bakugo if its too much.

a/n: hi! tysm <3!! of course, i hope you're doing well hun !! if there's anything you need me to change/edit within this please let me know!!

headcanon: them reacting to their s/o being hit by a quirk that makes them the age when they were sick

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing, angst

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

It’s been a tough day on the field, especially with a villain attack appearing from seemingly nowhere. It’s caused a mess, and everyone’s on edge.

Most noticeable though is Bakugou. You’re fighting one on one with this villain and he doesn’t doubt your abilities by any means, but you’re worn down and tired, your movements are slower, you’re starting to reach your limit.

And all it takes is one hit from this nameless villain’s quirk and you’re down for the count.

Bakugou’s tired of fending off goons and dashes over to you, taking down the villain to the best of his ability.

But what he doesn’t expect is when he turns back to you, instead of seeing you, he sees the pile of your clothes covering a much smaller version of you.

You’ve shrunk?

No, you’ve gotten younger. 

Just barely lifting your head, you start to cough. 

“Shit, hey get someone over here!” Bakugou shouts to one of the other students, hoping an adult could rush over and try and help-not that he needed it, but he was worried.

It wasn’t long before another pro hero was wrapping your younger self up in your clothes.

If Bakugou had to guess, he’d say you were around five to eight years old.

You sat in a hospital bed for a few hours before Aizawa finally arrived, noticeably worried about the state you were in. You didn’t even remember the people standing around you.

“They’re in critical condition. If this age regression quirk has sent their body back in time, we’re going to be in a bit of hurry to get them back to their normal state. They’ve had a history of medical concerns.”

Bakugou has to step out of the room, supported by Kirishima and Kaminari as he tries not to seem like he’s heavily affected by the state your in.

“They’re going to be fine, if it’s just some sort of temporary affect, they’ll be back to their healthy old self soon!” Kaminari tries to lighten the mood, but it doesn’t seem to help.

When you’re released from the hospital to return back to campus, you’re placed under surveillance.

You’re much younger now, and you can barely walk, it’s tearing everyone apart. All of your friends stop by whenever they can, trying to see if you remember them which usually never works.

Bakugou stops by often as well, normally at night when no one else comes around.

He talks about little things like All Might and always brings in his little toy figurines that he’d swore he’d never show anyone.

You laugh and smile, waving them around making all sorts of noises all while ignoring the fact that Bakugou is nearly in tears at the sight of you.

The effects last two weeks. It’s the longest two weeks of everyone’s lives, most importantly Bakugou’s.

When you wake up and see Bakugou sound asleep beside you, his head laying on the medical bed you’d been sleeping in for the past two weeks, you’re confused.

“Hey, Katsu’?” You ruffle his blonde hair and he’s up instantly.

He’s embracing you in the tightest hug known to man, surely putting All Might’s to shame.

Kissing you too, he can’t stop himself from holding you and mumbling about how worried he was about and how he’ll never let something like that happen to you again.

“I never dabbled in my past much, but I’m doing much better now, I’m sorry I gave you a scare.” You rub his cheek, wiping away a few rare tears that fall from his crimson eyes.

“I love you so fuckin’ much.” He utters, his lips pointing upward in a smile.

“I love you too.”

»»————-　★　————-««

eijiro kirishima

»»————-　★　————-««

The fight is surely rigged. There’s no way you’re going to win, not alone anyway. 

Kirishima is making his way to you as fast as he can, but when he gets to you it’s far too late.

You’re cowering before him, your costume baggy on your visibly smaller and weaker frame, tears pouring from your eyes as your body strains to stand upright.

The villain is gone, but not too far gone that they don’t get captured by patrolling pros on the scene.

Rushing you to the nearest hospital to undergo some sort of evaluation, all Kirishima can do in the meantime is wait alongside Kaminari, Mina, Sero, and even a slightly less angry Bakugou.

When the nurse returns to explain your situation, Kirishima is mortified.

Refusing to leave your side until he’s forced to by Mina to take care of himself because it’s what you’d tell him to do, all he can do is wait and hope that you’ll get better.

You can’t walk without having someone help you, and the worst part is, you don’t even recognize him.

Kaminari takes the role of making you smile and laugh while Kirishima adds throws in random memories turned into stories hoping it’ll jog some part of your memory connected to how old you actually are.

But nothing seems to work and all you can do is sit in wonder as he tells you about how present-pre age regression quirk you is really super awesome.

After being scolded by Mina on day one, Kirishima manages to take care of himself, but he spends most if not all of his free time with you. 

In a way it’s domestic, imagining the possible inevitability of raising a family with you, you’d always jokingly said he was great with kids.

Taking care of you is nice, he enjoys doing it now, buying you little gifts, helping you get something off a high shelf or just being a gentleman for you.

Holding the door for you, carrying your bags even when you yell at him not to and he swears a part of you has been inspired by Bakugou.

After the first week, he begins to get settled in, thinking if this is going to last a while, he wants to help however he can.

Aizawa ushers him to pay attention to studies and that you’re strong enough to power through this, and he understands, he believes wholeheartedly you are.

But part of him is sort of upset. He’d never known that you used to be like this. He hoped when it was all over you could explain.

And sure enough, after two weeks, you wake up, as if those two weeks had never happened.

You don’t seem to have much recollection of the two weeks, only a few hours on the last day seem to make it through to you.

Kirishima greets you with a hug and thousands of kisses.

He doesn’t let you go for hours, weeping into your embrace as he begs you to never scare him like that again.

You console him all while telling him about your past and the history of your medical condition and he understands. He’s thankful you’re where you are now, and he’s so happy to see back to your normal self again after those two weeks.

“I stayed with you as much as you could.” Kirishima whispers, kissing your cheek. Kaminari lifts his head up and starts laughing.

“Yeah, he was so worried about you. You’ve got yourself a keeper.” He jokes, making Kirishima’s cheeks match shades with his hair.

“I love you.” You mumble against his skin, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too.”

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

#bakugou #bakugo #kirishima #eijiro #eijiro kirishima #katsuki #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugo #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #kirishima x reader #eijiro x reader #eijiro kirishim x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #mha #bnha #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader

[gopeachllama]

Why I think Feysand were OOC in ACOSF

I hope that no one misunderstands from the title but let me say this is a 100% PROfeysand post. so if you hated feysand even before acosf, then this post isn't for you.

So i've seen a lot of interesting theories about feysand's and in particular rhys' behaviour and choices throughout acosf. and while alot of them seemed possible and may have been the case canonically speaking, even as a feysand stan i just couldn't seem to wrap my head around some of the things they said and did in the book. they just both seem OOC, its the only pausible explanation for me.

To understand why feysand were OOC in the book we have to look at this through a narrative perspective. as in we have to ask why would the author write the character/s in this way?

a quick overview of what a character arc is

so there can be a lot of variations of a character arc in a story but the basics is as follows (how does the character go from point 'a' to point 'b'):

the 'big lie' - the views/beliefs/actions the character has at the start which will be challenged throughout the story (this is point 'a')

the 'incident' - a plot point in which starts development of the character. something that spurs the character into action, this most ofter happens when they are placed in an unfamiliar situation. this usuallyy is the intial challenge to their 'big lie'. at this point the story will move forward and theres no going back.

the midpoint - the character changes conciously or subconciously, they start to recognise their own flaws in the 'big lie'.

world collaspes - this is usually on the heels of a victory, the character reaches the lowest point in their journey. they finally confront 'the big lie' and forces to stop this deception they inflict on themselves. they can destroy it or it will destroy them.

the climax - the reason for the story. the reason why the character had to take this journey in order to get to this moment. the moment that the character will decide once and for all whether they will go forward to point 'b' or regress back to point 'a'

the resolution - the character reaches point 'b'. their view/beliefs/actions have changed, they no longer believe in the 'big lie'.

So obvisouly the main character in acosf is Nesta. What sjm does in her books is that every plot point and development of secondary characters is in service to the arc of the main character. None of the character's outside of Nesta have their own development. Not even Cassian, any sort of changes or developments he undergoes is in service to Nesta (a complete missed opportunity for Cassian but that a whole other point). And before anyone tries to say otherwise, you can have development for characters even if they are secondary ones (and for a book that is 800+ pages long it is definitely possible). An example is with his can also be seen with Gwyn. Her leaving the library for the first time was a huge moment for the character, but she did so, in order to comfort Nesta after her big fight with Cassian. It was also so that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie could all be together in Illyria so they could be kidnapped and forced to enter the blood rite (where the final showdown occurs with Nesta and the villan).

so what has this got to do with feysand and why are they OOC?

In fact the entire plot with feyre's pregnancy was made to give chracter developments for Nesta. There was nothing written in the book that suggested any developments for feyre and rhys. it did nothing for them. Nesta needed to become central to the story and the only way sjm thought to keep feyre side lined was to make her pregrnant. It was also just lazy writing and world building bc there is no way that rhys would have though of this when he and feyre were trying for a baby.

SIN #1 The Shields

Rhys practicing shields (shield thats doesn't even allow anyone to even touch her) on feyre, which she just allows. the book explains because of the fact that there is more danger to her now that she's pregnant. Narratively, this would make sense if there is a payoff. Like later in the story if feyre was in physical danger and the shield saves her or if the shield became a detriment to her in some way. But no nothing like this happens. Rhys 'practices' the shield on her and thats it. Rhys, who was the same person that trusted feyre enough defend herself against the weaver. It was totally out of character that he would shield her to the point that Cassian can't even kiss her on the cheek (sounds familiar huh). and the same goes for feyre, who has no problem with this (*cough* tamlin locking her up *cough*). Thats is some OOC behaviour.

So what were the point of the shields? well since sjm made it canon that fae can smell when a female is pregnant, the biggest way they came into play was in the scene when rhys lifted it long enough so that everyone could sense that that feyre was pregnant. And It could have been just that, feyre and rhys were expecting a baby, and Nesta can go along with her development, they did not need to intersect. But it did, and we'll come back to that later. This scene is a lighthearted moment in the book, one of the rare few where all the characters are happy and celebrating a good thing. acofas we knew that rhys and feyre decided to try for a baby, and seeing it pay off here was enjoyable for the readers.

But what else does this scene do? through Nesta's perspective, we can read her thoughts on it, and though she doesn't reveal much its an important character moment for her. the readers can see that she can feel happiness for someone else beyond the self-loathing she guards herself with, it shows that she is a character worth rooting for.

SIN #2 Rhys concealing the dangers of the pregnancy from feyre

oof this one is a doosey. this was the most baffling thing to come out of acosf for me. there is literally no reason or explanation that would make sense for rhys to lie to feyre like that. It offers no development for the two character it affects the most: rhys and feyre. there no fallout on rhys' end for lying to her, and there is no turmoil for feyre such as falling into depair like we told she would (the whole reason that rhys was hiding it in the first place).

When Nesta finds out that the pregnancy was most likely going to kill feyre and the baby. instead of Nesta disagreeing and urging Rhys to tell feyre, she doesn't say anything and forms a temporary truce with him, a character she has always had conflict with. It also serves as the incident that allows Nesta to have her 'world collapse' moment in her character arc. How else was Nesta going to realise what a shitty person is was being if she didn't do something so absolutely shitty? in a fit of rage, Nesta reveals to feyre that the pregnancy was going to kill both her and the baby. she get taken away on a hike in illyria (because???) and she reaches rock bottom after she comes to term with what she did. the story is taken away from velaris and the inner circle, and any conflict and resolution that happens between feyre and rhys, if it even happened at all, happens off page. again furthering my point about the pregnancy having no impact on the two characters is affects the most. After Nesta's fleeting moment of enlightenment, and her swordplay sex marathon with Cassian (urgh) she returns to velaris and nothing has changed between rhys and feyre. there isn't really much of a development with Nesta's relationship with feyre, their 'reconciliation' occurs all of less than one page and doesn't even happen out loud, just mind to mind. Now that Nesta has had her important character moment, nothing else matters (again lazy writing).

SIN #3 Everyone dies

ok so yes everyone has said their two cents about this and i agree with it. Feyre and nyx had to die so that Nesta could have her climax moment. It is the climax of the story since it is the big story development right before the resolution. and about the bargain - feysand decided in acofas that they were going to try for a baby. meaning that it was after this decision that they struck the bargain that they would die together. so at some point they would have thought of the fact they would have a child/children when the both die. im sorry but do they seem like the kind of ppl that would make a suicide pact even if it meant leaving their children behind? TOTALLY OOC for me. and i dont know i guess also the stakes weren't high enough with just the threat of feyre and nyx dying.

So feyre and nyx are dead and rhys will soon follow and Nesta intervenes to save them. Its also a self-sacrificing moment bc she has to give up her powers in order to do this... Showing that she does truely love her family and the depths of her powers. (seriously idc how you stan or hate how does anyone this good book?). don't doubt that in the future books sjm will find a way for Nesta to get her powers back (whatever they are (pure death WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???))

So Nesta saves the day, everyone is fine and nothing has changed except Nesta is nice now probably. the end.

welp this got way longer that i expected but anyways long story short there was nothing about the pregnancy that gave development to feysand characters and it was all for the development of the main character.

i don't claim acosf!feysand and sjm better fucking leave them alone in the rest of the books.

#acotar #acosf #anti acosf #rhys #rhysand #pro rhysand #feyre #pro feyre #feysand #pro feysand #nesta #this is not an anti nesta post #at least i dont think it is #but this is definitely a fucking anti sjm post #anti sjm