#im trying to be a good friend but i fucked up again...

[bravo4iscool]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write a friends to lovers x reader for any of the 141 (you get to choose) where the reader is plus size and she avoids them touching her? Because she knows she's plus size and doesn't think this super attractive soldier would ever even like her, much less her body, and every time she is touched she kinda pulls away, but our soldiers are so down bad for her? 👀 And ultimately maybe she gets pulled onto a lap and immediately tries to get off? Smut or no smut, it's up to you!

Thank you lovely!! 💞💞

i like this. i like this very very much hehehehe. i chose simon (i always chose him, i really have to change that😭) (i hope you're okay with that tho. it's my personal headcanon that that man is a chubby chaser by heart lol).

as someone who's also plus-size i adore requests like this so much! i hope i could write it the way you imagined it :)

also, sorry this took me so long😭. i had a bit of a slump lol (also, please give me feedback on the smut part, i never really write smut🥲 and im a virgin lmao)

smut, plus-size!reader, unprotected sex, p in v, fem!reader, not proof-read!

(masterlist | join my tag list!)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

tag list - @yazt09 @blackhawkfanatic @bumblebeesfromvenus

"don't touch me simon," you mumble as you push his hands away. "you know i don't like that..." you shuffle away from him and clutch the little notepad you scribble down your customers orders.

he frowns—as always—and gives you a small smile. “‘m sorry lovie. i forgot.”

you nod and straighten your back. “your usual?” you ask, already knowing that he’ll answer with yes. and he does. then you look at the rest of the team, one eyebrow raised. it was rare that they took something else than their usual.

“positive,” price replies, as well as gaz.

“i’ll take whatever ye gimme,” johnny winks and you feel yourself blush. simon just rolls his eyes. he’s getting fed up with his best friend already.

you give johnny a honest smile and scribble something down. “10 minutes and i will be back with your drinks,” you tell them, turning to leave.

once you were out of reach johnny elbowed simon into the side, a devilish smirk on his face. “have ye told ye lassie that ye like her?” he wants to know, wiggling with his eyebrows.

“zip it johnny,” simon only grumbles, starting to bounce his knee. “i ain’t tellin’er nothin’.”

“but why? ye clearly like her.” johnny frowns. if he were in simon’s position he would’ve shot his shot weeks, if not months ago. you were—you were perfection. those curves, those hips and—god forbid—your stomach.

you were hypnotising and you didn’t even know it. johnny didn’t understand how simon could just sit and watch you. he would’ve done anything to get a taste of you, or even just a glance.

“she ain’t interested n’me johnny,” simon sighs after a moment of silence. “i won’t destroy what we have over my stupid feelings.” and with that the debate was over for simon.

before johnny could answer you return with the drinks, placing them down onto the table. “here ya go,” you smile.

“thanks lassie,” johnny grins, patting your hand. you immediately pull away.

you try to overplay it. “no problem. let me know if you need anything else.” you leave with hurried steps, praying you wouldn’t encounter touch again this evening.

-

‘fuck’ you thought when you realize: all seats were taken. this was not good, nope. you just wanted to turn around and leave without anyone taking a notice of you.

but then soap notices you, “ey lassie. com’ere!” he smiles and waves at you. with hesitant steps you walk in his and simon’s direction. giving a apologetic look to the other people. this was a movie night, not some coffee gossip round. it was rare that you were on base and on most occasions you tried to avoid it but johnny and gaz practically begged you to come so you had no other chance than to say yes.

a few moments later you stood in front of the group of men—your friends—unsure what to do. were you just gonna sit on the ground or… before you can even finish that thought a arm wraps around your waist and someone pulls you into their lap. you can‘t suppress a small yelp, your eyes blow wide.

“‘s j‘st me,“ simon whispers into your ear, sending a cold shiver down your spine. you wanted to leave. now.

“simon,“ you hiss. “let me go. i‘m way too heavy for you—“

but instead of following your request his arm around your waist only tightens. “i‘m a big guy. i can handle it,“ he only says in a low voice. with that the topic was done for him and you knew arguing wouldn‘t make sense. once simon was determined about something there was no way to chance his mind.

so, you sat in his lap the whole movie, squirming from time to time; afraid you were too heavy for him, afraid that you would hurt him in any way. meanwhile, his hands were caressing our waist, pulling you closer to him so you‘d stop wiggling around. if you wouldn‘t stop he‘d some have a problem…

beside simon johnny was throwing side glances at him, smirking when he noticed the struggles his best friend was having. he wished he was in that position… if only he‘d been a tad faster than simon you‘d sit in his lap right now and he knew he wouldn‘t be the same after than.

“y‘alright lassie?“ johnny asks as soon as the movie is over and the lights got turned on. your face was red and your pupils blown wide. you only manage a nod, trying your best to get off simon‘s lap as normal—and fast—as possible.

“i think—i think i‘ll go home now. i have work tomorrow morning,“ you smile, still embarrassed. “i hope i‘ll see you tomorrow or are you shipping out?“

“not for at least two weeks,“ simon answers and you nod and turn to leave but then he gets up too and you stop in your tracks. you raise your eyebrow at him and he shrugs. “‘m gonna get ya home,“ he simply says and you nod again.

“alright. see you soon guys,“ you wave your goodbyes to gaz and johnny.

once you and simon where out of reach johnny started to smirk. “ohhhh, he‘s tryna get laid,“ he laughs, glancing at gaz beside him.

“100%“ the other man agrees, hiding his laughter behind his hand. “the question is if she‘s understanding all the signs…“

-

you unlock your door, simon towering over you from behind, his presence like a burning sensation you couldn‘t seem to ignore. “and we‘re there,“ you chuckle, stepping aside. “you can, uh, leave now,“ you tell him but instead of turning around he takes a step inside your flat, closing the door behind him.

“what if i don‘t want to?“ he asks, slowly coming closer to you. “what…if i want to spend the night with you, mh?“ he‘s looking down at you, his hand itching towards to your face.

you swallow, trying to hold his gaze; it seemed impossible. “why would you want that?“ you want to know, unable to phantom any reason he—out of all men—would want to spend a night with you.

he smiles at your question and lowers his head. “because i like you,“ is his answer before he starts to trails kisses down your throat. your breath gets caught and your hands rush to grip his arms. what was happening right now? this must be a dream…

"if you want t'stop, tell me," he mumbles against your neck, slowly pushing you back until your back hits your drawer. you swallow but turn your head to give him more space. it just felt so good.

your breath hitches when he finds your weak spot. "i don't want to stop," you manage to say and you feel him smirk against your skin.

he scoops you up into his arms and you yelp. "that was what i wanted t'hear," he says and seconds later his lips collide with yours as he makes his way to your bedroom. you feel like a feather in his arms, so light and free.

"been wantin' t'do this f'r a long time," simon breathes against your lips when he gently drops you down onto your bed and he pulls back. "y'look so beautiful..." his eyes admire you and you start to blush. you weren't used to being appreciated like that. especially not by men like simon.

he sits up, kneeling in front of you. then he pulls off his shirt in a smooth motion, tossing it aside. your eyes widen and you swallow again. oh steaming jesus, he looked better than you thought–

and suddenly you get aware of your looks again. you try to hide behind your arms as fast as possible, not wanting simon to see but he beats you to it. with gentle hands he grabs your wrists and pulls them away. "why're you doing that, mh?" he wants to know and you avert your gaze.

"i...don't know..." you mumble. "i just–"

he cuts you off before you can finish, "y'think i don't find ya attractive, do ya?" your blush is answer enough and he bents down. "you're the most attractive woman i've ever laid m'eyes upon..." he tells you in a whisper, placing kisses upon your face.

"you don't–"

"oh, i mean it. with every fiber of my being," he, again, cuts you off, not wanting you to doubt his attraction to you. you were beautiful, etheral even, and he didn't know how other men didn't see it. "let me worship you," he pleads, kissing your lips.

he pulls slightly back again and looks in your eyes. he wanted your consent before continung. if you'd say no, he'd stop. if you'd say yes, he would ravish you.

you hesitate for a second before you drag him back down by his neck and press a kiss to his lips. "please," you choke out, looking at him with hooded eyes.

he smiles, his hands slipping beneath your shirt, pushing it upwards. "your wish is my command love." with gentle hands he starts to undress you, trailing kisses all over your body. he wanted to you to feel good about yourself, to feel attractive.

and with every passing moment he was itching down towards your core, smirking when he feels you twitching and shuddering.

“si—simon,” you moan when his lips ghost over your clothed cunt.

he does it again, looking up at you through hooded eyes. “shhhh,” he coos, his tumb caressing your thigh. “b’good f’r me, will ya?” he was straining himself to not rip your clothes off when he started undressing you piece by piece. he wanted to cherish you, burn the image of you sprawled across your bed—naked—into his mind. who knew when he’d be able to see you like that again?

it felt like a haze, the way he was undressing and worshipping your body, his eyes rarely leaving yours. he wanted to you feel seen, to feel lusted after because that was exactly what he was doing.

he came face to face with you again, his lips finding yours while his hand cupped your pussy. your breath hitched. “so ready for me,” he chuckles, his tumb carefully starting to stimulate your clit.

a whine escapes you when he pulls his hand back after a few moments and he can’t suppress a smirk. “oh, ya needy, aren’t ya?” you only manage a nod, your mouth falling open when you feel him slipping one finger inside. “gon’ work ya well open first, love,” he tells you before he starts to litter you with kisses again.

with a steady rhythm he pumps his finger in and out of you, trying to pay attention to your body’s reaction as best as possible. he wanted to make this about you and you only.

he was sucking bruises onto your skin while moans dripped past your lips. oh, he felt like he was in heaven. “keep makin’ them sounds f’r me love,” he mumbles as he starts to hump your bed. his dick was painfully hard by now and he needed to feel some relief.

you gasp and writhe and whine, grabbing his arm to feel something between your hands. “please simon,” you cry out with your back arching off the mattress. “i wanna—“ he shuts you up with a kiss.

“i know what ya want.” and exactly that is the moment your orgasm ripples through you. a dragged out moan leaves your mouth and your fingernails bore into the flesh of his arms. “j’st like that,” simon coos, carefully removing his hand from your cunt.

you gasp for air as you come down from your high, still not 100% sure if this was real; because it didn’t feel like it. you release simon’s arms from your grip, swallowing when you saw the marks you left.

in the meanwhile simon fully undressed himself, his painfully hard cock finally getting set free. he looked at you and a smirk tugged at his lips when he noticed you staring. he tugged at his cock before he crawled back onto the bed to hover about you.

you look up at him, unsure of what to do. it’s been probably years since you’ve last had sex. it wasn’t that much of a regular thing in your life.

“ya ready?” he asks you after he connects your lips in a gentle kiss. you nod and he carefully starts to open your legs further. “i’ll be gentle, yea?”

simon’s hands caress your thighs before he aligns his cock with your entrance and trains his eyes on you as he starts to push himself inside.

your mouth falls open and your hands find their way back to grip onto his arms. a tear slips past your eye and a loud moan drags past your lips. “simon—oh my god!”

he grunts, doing his best to hold himself back from restlessly pounding into you. he didn’t want to hurt you. “no god ‘ere love. only me.” he bends down to kiss you and one of his hands starts to stimulate your clit again.

when he fully bottomed out it took all of his self control to not come immediately. he’s dreamed of this for months, years even and not it was finally happening.

“takin’ me s’good,” simon whispers in your ear, slowly pulling his hips back, making you whine before he pushes them forward again, pulling another moan out of you. “this pussy was made for me, huh.” a cocky grin was on his face.

you nod and babble, too overwhelmed by that pleasure that was so unknown to you. “wanna be good for you,” you cry, clutching his arm with your hands. “please simon.”

he starts to trail kisses down your throat while he keeps his thrusts in a steady rhythm. he felt his orgasm building but he wouldn’t come before you didn’t. this wasn’t about him and his pleasure, this was about you.

you moan, “oh—oh—“ when you feel the knot in your stomach tightening. “i’m gonna come simon,” your voice trembles.

“i know,” he grits out as he fastens his thrusts and keeps stimulation your clit. the way you were clenching around him had him seeing stars. you were so close.

and then he pushes you over the cliff, your orgasm rippling through you with a force you didn’t know as possible. your vision fades to black and your mouth falls open as simon fucks you through your orgasm.

he’s trying his best to keep his composure when you clench around him, almost milking him but he pushes through, managing a couple sloppy thrusts before he comes with a deep moan, fully burying himself inside you.

his eyes are closed as he tries to take a deep breath, a faint ‘i love you’ leaving his lips.

(i’m sorry the end is like that. i’m terrible at endings🧍🏼. i didn’t know how to properly cut this😭)

#writing #ao3 #fanfiction #archive of our own #story writing #call of duty #simon riley #cod #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #ghost x you #ghost x reader #simon riley x plus size!reader #simon riley x chubby!reader #simon ghost riley x plus size!reader #simon ghost riley x chubby!reader #ghost x plus size reader #ghost x chubby!reader

[buriedpair]

I'm Inlove with your ocs — How would the yandere react to a dense darling with no knowledge of gambling or any games who goes to the casino every now and then, who still manage to win without cheating? Like the others are pissed off by them and yet here they are asking what the rules are because they're forgetful -

IM BLUSHING SO MUCH RN IM SO GLAD U LIKE THEM ALSO THANKS FOR BEING SO NICE AND REBLOGGING MY STUFF AND FOR BEING MY FIRST MUTUAL!!!!!!

Ahem. Yes. The prompt. I only did Amias and Edge for this one, since Jackpot, DD, and Gambit aren't really in on the gambling side of things and it probably wouldn't change much.

Yandere!OCs x GN Reader

The casino has plenty of nice reviews. It's clean, and the drinks are good. As far as you're concerned, it's just like any other bar you've ever been to. When your friend dragged you along to play a game, you didn't think twice.

Um... but you've only ever played Go-Fish before...

Amias

Upon first meeting you, Amias is really, REALLY frustrated. Somehow, he's losing money to you. It barely puts a dent in his funds, but wow. You ask what a Royal Flush is EVERY time, and every time you end up having one. There's no way it's Edge cheating, because even when he does, Amias ALWAYS wins.

You have the most insane, frustrating, INFURIATING beginners luck he has ever seen. It's driving him literally crazy. He's in his room tearing up playing cards and hanging up pictures of you and trying to figure out what you're trying to achieve. He wants to shake you so hard your brain falls out and you die. He's chewing his nails off and tearing his hair out.

WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?

Sometime after all that. when he's gathering pictures of you, he realizes that... Well, there's absolutely no reason he needs those. Why would he need those? He should get rid of them.

But the second he reaches for one of them to tear off his wall, he has a full-on panic attack and ends up sobbing on the floor.

He almost hurt you! Granted, it was just a picture of you, but it's YOU! You, who he has spent months watching and taking care of and--

Shit. Damnit. God, fuck. He's in love with you.

Edge

Edge has never, in his entire career, had to explain to someone what "all in" means THIS many times.

IT MEANS YOU PUT ALL OF YOUR CHIPS IN.

Ahem, but he calmly reexplains with a smile. He deals your cards, and...

You won. Again.

You look gleeful, and later when he's laying alone in his dark bedroom, he can't get that look of joy out of his head. Not that he'd ever admit that.

He decides he's going to teach you the terms and the rules and everything you need to know.

And so the private tutoring begins. It's frustrating, but he manages to teach you all the things you need to know... While simultaneously memorizing all your quirks and habits. He knows you like the back of his hand now, and he wants more. He wants to take that information and use it to absolutely shatter you.

It's like a game. Should be fun, no?

BONUS!!!!

Double Down

DD could not care less how much you know about gambling. He's going to bite you. You will have rabies. And die.

#yandere oc #yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader

[hotluncheddie]

t4t chubby autistic steddie GO

i have been thinking about this (nsfw from twitter!!) art lately so i am here with u <3

even tho i get nervous to write trans characters, idk why, i just don't wanna mess it up i think

but im doing my best!! bc autistic and gender exploration are very lovely wonderful cozy subjects so i'm gonna focus on that

this is such a string of ideas but - 4 u <3 :3c

Stevie leaves with Eddie and Robin, taking their trust fund and leaving their parents to it - too the rest of their lives - without her. Like the Harringtons always hoped, really.

Stevie doesn't need them, the money is useful but they offer nothing more to her.

She's able to buy an apartment. In Chicago. With her loves. They learn how to live. How to live together. How to be at peace.

There's big bright widows in the main space, with light and air and the sunset. The two bedrooms are cozy and warm and it's a place for them all to grow.

'There's chips here.' Eddie says. They have a matching day off and she's trying to practice what it is to do nothing, to truly rest. Eddie helps, by being there, keeping her still with his hands and his love.

But Stevie tenses up, she was snacking, has been snacking, trying to learn her hunger signals better - what they feel like to her. It was always a rule not to east in her room, not to eat between meals. But she was hungry, she had a snack.

'I'm not judging, I'm saying so we remember to take it out next time one of us goes to the kitchen.' Eddie says, coming back from changing the tape, kissing her. Kissing her and kissing her.

Stevie relaxes.

'You've gained a little weight.' Robin says, laying on Stevies thighs on the couch, crocheting while Stevie watches sports and rubs her knuckles agains her teeth, twirling a strand of Robins hair in her fingers.

She looks down at her best friend. Robin looks back at her.

Robin smiles.

'It's good. You look more like you than you ever have before.'

Stevie smiles back. Tries not to cry.

Stevie letting herself change, relax. Unlearn those eating habits that helped her feel in control. Instead allowing herself to enjoy, and eat the things she wants to, the things she likes.

Eats pasta every night for a month and doesn’t feel bad about it. Doesn’t force herself to eat kale because she hates it, spinach is good enough. She is good enough.

Eddie gets little chubbier, in this new life. After recovering from nearly dying. Explains to Stevie in his long lilting way that he likes it, feels more protected, like his skin isn’t so fragile now.

He’s never liked his body but now he truly knows how short life is, and, maybe he can learn to like this new one. In this new place, in the love that surrounds him.

Plus, the bats destroyed his chest. So without that in the way, no longer lurking and potentially ruining his day. He realises he can shed that background fixation he always seemed to have with thinness. The idea that it would make him look more masculine or more androgynous. Curves were for girls and Eddie was not. That.

But now, now, who fucking cares. He’s alive. He needs to eat.

Steve feels a finger trailing over her hip, dipping into the band of her underwear, skimming over her crack and the the ridges of stretch marks that lead up to her waist.

'So so pretty' Eddie whispers, and it's filled with so much awe, so much grace, so much reverence and love.

Stevie shivers, feeling endless and grounded and like her body is here and hers and everything she ever dreamed of because it exists now.

She puts her hand under her loose shirt, cupping her belly. Skin still sleep warm and the energy of her palm seems to cover her whole body in warmth, in light and softness. Tinging and bright. Still being traced lightly by the love of her life. But being loves by her own hands, now, too.

She exists. And finally, everything is beautiful.

#i had a dream and i was on holiday and fell in love with a girl #and it was very romantic #and also cathartic in the way she loved me #so im trying to get that vibe here lol #and also give them paradise to exist in #so lets all hide here together - fill ourselves with love #hotlunch #steddie #ask #chubby steve harrington #chubby eddie munson #trans steve harrington #trans eddie munson #autistic steve harrington #autistic eddie munson #:)

[yeehaw-fuckers]

man… i hate how people hate on vinny everyman cause he was complicit to habit’s various vile deeds through the show and decided to continue the investigation!

🎉SO I WROTE A WHOLE RANT/ESSAY DEFENDING HIM 🎉

IMPORTANT NOTE- words or paragraphs in red are important/key parts and bold or caps is just for emphasis also if my spelling is shit its because im excited lol

btw please don’t take this too seriously, these characters are fictional, and this whole thing is just an analysis on morally grey characters and the hate they get

comments are very appreciated and ill always try to comment back to yall

❗️❗️SPOILERS❗️❗️

(DONT READ UNLESS YOU FINISHED THE EVERYMAN HYBRID SERIES OR YOU DONT MIND SPOILERS)

first of all, are yall forgeting that they (the characters) are literally in a loop where they repeat the same roles over and over again! LIKE THEIR DECISIONS ARE MADE FOR THEM NOT BY THEM so keep that in mind

vinny has been a victim (like every other character) in all iterations/universes, throughout each-one he’s never learned how to defend himself or say no to peer pressure!

habit has made VARIOUS EXAMPLES (via murder and torture) of people who either didn’t listen to him or that he straight up didn’t like!

as the show goes on you see how habit now becomes dependent on vinny and how vinny becomes dependent on habit (cause all of vinny’s friends are dead and slender man is still out there)

it becomes a bully v.s victim situation where the victim has to stay with their bully to be safe, a situation that many people blatantly ignore for the sake of habit’s charisma and character,

he became adaptable to the situation, becoming complicit towards habit’s violent tendencies and even insulting or pushing habit cause he knows that habit cant get rid of him if they want to defeat slenderman!

for my other point, aka continuing the investigation,

DUDE! who tf wouldn’t follow the investigation on slenderman or habit, THEY ARE KILLING PEOPLE AND THE POLICE CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT! and yes I acknowledge that vinny did remove incriminating evidence of himself that would make him look bad, WHICH IS A SHITTY THING TO DO btw

but other characters have also made shit decisions or mistakes in the series, ITS LITERALLY A REALISTIC THING TO DO!!

for example jeff gets stephanie sent to a fucking MENTAL INSTITUTION because he SUSPECTED that she was working with slenderman

(she wasnt, shes a victim of slenderman and also emo as fuck)

do i think it was a good idea to pressure others into the investigation, no! thats a terrible idea and he should have done it by himself or atleast warned gang about his knowledge of information!

do i think it was a good idea to summon habit, HELL NO, but if we are going to be honest habit is apart of this never ending loop too!

BUT in the end hes not necessarily a villain, hes a morally grey person like the rest of characters, except for habit and slenderman they are straight up evil,

it’s realistic storytelling!!! and some people throw it out the window so they can place blame on a character that they dislike cause people cant handle morally grey people without forcing them into a hero or villain arcs!!

-from your fella named, yeehaw-fuckers

#tw swearing #tw mentions of violence #tw mentions of bullying #character analysis #analysis #i will defend each character with my damn LIFEE #everyman hybrid #emh #everymanhybrid #vinny everyman #evan emh #jeff emh #stephaine emh #habit emh

[64sue]

I feel like I'm so annoying...

like I'm trying to be a good friend, to care of them and ask if something is wrong but they seem like I more annoy them and make them more mad...

I hate this feeling because ik how it feels when you feel like that and you don't have someone to talk to, so I'm trying to just be for them... idk it hurts sometimes...

#im annoying #they hate me #i feel so useless #am i really that bad? #trauma #i just wanna disappear #fuvk why im like that #i dont understand people #im done #im so done #im trying to be a good friend but i fucked up again... #tw selfhate

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[moonlit-orchid]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

#one piece #usopp #whole cake island #nemotime #that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol #the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my #'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good #im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate) #i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this. #if anyone's got other ideas im all ears #edit from like march 7: thinking about this again #maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e #but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue #but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run. #at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit #because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl #to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend #and it's going to be all his fault. (again) #[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house] #later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting #until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow. #a sniper's duty and all #anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here #wci usopp

[quietwingsinthesky]

what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing

#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy. #sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.) #hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help. #don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again? #sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone #if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you. #even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting? #sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death. #so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion? #[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with #himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was #turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3) #GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES? #such a good fucking concept. squandered. #anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change. #hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference. #both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line. #and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right #hallucifer #spn #sam winchester #amy pond

[jopzer]

sorry i thought about what they did to roy kent in season three of ted lasso and now i have to lie down for a week

#beebles #ted lasso #roy kent #take this as positive or negative im not your mom #but. my god #what if in the final season of our show we took one of the most beloved characters and we took all the development we'd given him over #three seasons and we fucked it and we didnt make it better #even though we keep reminding you every two episodes that he's critically insecure and he's incredibly guilt ridden and he's been doing #everything in his power to be better #backsliding is fine. i love a good backslide. bitches should be backsliding more often #but to put him on that path in the final season of your series and then not resolve it #like. one of the last things we see him do that isnt like. debatably a dream sequence. #is beat the fuck out of his friend who hes spent two seasons making and then demean the fuck out of his exgirlfriend who he wanted to marry #in the Last Episode. #of the whole show. #again i love a good backslide but what in god's name was THAAAAT!!!!! #we know roy's a violent guy we know he struggles with emotional intelligence we've seen all this happen #but to fuck up all the progress he's made and then not resolve it in any way by the time the show ended. ugh #truly feels like they spat in roy's face by the end of the show #like roy's trying to be better for keeley and he ends up being better for himself and then he ends up fucking everything up. Again. #at the very end of the show. what was the reason. #he's fighting with himself for the whole season and then its over. embarrassing really #he's got bright shining moments where that development does shine through but most of it is just painful to watch. #silly. silly shit.

[just-spacetrash]

💔

#waaahhh feeling BAD again..... #like few months ago my friend asked if i had new years free and i ASSUMED that meant we were like planning smth together????? #and today she mentions in a GROUP CHAT that shes spendingnnew years with her bf #and like. ok. fine. good for them i guess #but i just rly wished she woulda told me like before #and it happened while i was at a Christmas party toooo.... now im sad and just not drunk enough #feeling lonely #i rly thought i had like things going up things looking good finally friends and shit #and like obviously i know her bf is the most important person to her thats how it works #but likee feels bad yk #cause apparently to her this wasnt even that big of a deal cos she didnt bother mentioning it yo be before #and i have no one #my other friends invited us both (thats how i found out) but theyre a couple too so i dont wanns go third wheeling their new years yk #i just #u think its going so well #and suddenly i just feel like ughhhh #this is cringe even writing i might delete this tomorrow when im sober and awake #but like. everyones got someone and ive been trying to click with someone for 20 fucking years #and still #:((((((((( #and like it feels bad not being anyones most important person #and like i know so many ppl are in this situation im not trying to be like wahhh my suffering is unique but like it just feels bad #very bad esp when ur tired as fuck and alone and shit #:((((( #my post #everything SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

[grandtourz]

i have so many thoughts about gohan and goten its kind of unreal

#and what am i gonna do... write about it? get serious #what can i say i love siblings in media :( #gohan who hardly got a childhood and spent it solely around people twice his age and maturing way faster #than he should have and then his dad dies (again) and he has to take care of his mom and his new baby brother #and he is 10! #and goten who got to experience peace thanks to his mystical legendary warrior of a dad and everyone tells him he looks like him and #how amazing and great he was and all he grows up seeing is the damage done to his family and then BOOM he just. comes back. #and listen i love goku okay im not a goku is a terrible father believer. he loves his family. but hes not a good dad by any means #gohan is trying to grow up while taking care of his mom and making sure his little brother never has to go through anything like he did #and at least goten has trunks! the only same aged friend gohan gets is dende and thats only because #hes off on a space mission at SIX YEARS OLD??? and then he gets his fucking neck broken and almost DIES #i could keep going.

[astranauticus]

brb im gonna go find a place to Scream

#im playing omori #let's just say that final fight with omori did not do good things to my mental state #idk by that point the emotional experience was really weird cuz like #i the player (desperately) want sunny to have nice things #but also like if i were sunny i would not fucking be able to forgive myself and like #what's that orv quote. the effects of the 4th wall are reduced due to excessive immersion. yeah that was me at that point #i guess lesson learned is if you're playing omori and you start using 'i' and 'sunny' interchangeably you're in for a Bad Time #like there were MANY points in the omori fight when i was like 'this man is making some good points' and he's #trying to convince sunny to kill himself so yknow. having a GREAT time with that one #also when the 'do you want to continue yes no' screen came up i sent it to my friend like haha what if i chose no #cuz i THOUGHT it was just gonna be like. when you die in a fight you either retry or load a save yeah i thought it was just gonna be like #a mechanical thing #then she said are you sure bc that's gonna have Consequences #and i'd already chosen yes bc. again. i want sunny to have nice things. also i GENUINELY meant that as a joke #so i was like. hold on what the FUCK is that supposed to mean #so. yayyyy #omori spoilers

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists. #so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨ #like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly. #ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol' #like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back. #i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too. #I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

[layzorr]

Mm

#i hate myself sometimes #i really fucking hate myself sometimes #i fucked up a relationship for my host and ill never het to exolain myself #he says hes not mad but i know he misses them and he got so fucking depressed over it #i keeo messing up i keep being so fucking mean #im always so fucking angry and scared all the time #i feel so fucking ugly and gross and just Bad #i dont like my body i dont like my face #i never have the energy to talk to people and it makes me such a bich #im always such a bitch to everyone #and i dont know how to stop #and i dont know if i can actually get better #fuck #i miss my friends #i dont know if they even think of me as friends at this point #because im always fucking gone #i never talk abouy my problems because i knowif i get upset ill be a dick again #i dont know how to stop #im trying i swear im trying #bit i act like my grandma i always have #and i dont know how to stopm #i hate how similiar wr are i hatebit i hate it i hate it #im the one who was there when she. did tha. to us #im the one who had to have that memory #im fhe one who felt it #andbi know its my hodts trauma too #but ive always felt ot ive always been the one who had to carry it #and im just #i do not think i am a good person #i do not know how to be a good person