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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 months

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good things about ep. 7:

this episode was by far the best at working with film as a medium. there were still issues, to be mentioned soon, but this ep did a lot of things that impressed me on a level of cinematic structure and format:

some actual tension!! simply showing the trio running from cerberus created investment and stakes for me in a way no monster fight or other obstacle had before (a matter definitely enhanced by the music)

the use of flashbacks!! now, i have some issues with the content of those flashbacks, but since im basically getting two degrees in assessing media i know how to give credit where credit is due lmao. these flashbacks were doing interesting things cinematically, creating parallels with percy's experiences in the present, especially that last flashback where they continued poseidon's voiceover into the present moment. fuck yes!! use the medium of cinema to your ADVANTAGE!!

related to the use of flashbacks, the match cuts!! they were so good, as they helped make visual those narrative and characterological parallels being constructed through the flashbacks. film is an inherently visual and auditory medium, and it was so refreshing to see the show experimenting and making effective choices with those tools

some issues with ep. 7 and the series as a whole:

i'll admit it. im tired of the trio already knowing everything about every obstacle they face (having to improvise in the fight with cerberus was so refreshing and retained more of the spirit of the book as opposed to uh. every other obstacle). and i think this connects with show's overall struggle with writing, adaptation, and the medium of film. these writers have committed the cardinal sin of assuming their audience always needs explanation. in any writing class (fiction and screenwriting are my personal expertise), you are told to assume your audience is smarter than you think, bc a writer's instinct is to assume they need to be clear about action and themes out of a fear of confusing their audience and the end result of that situation is a boring, overly explanatory piece of work. (an re the young viewers, kids are freaking smart!! i literally teach kids of the age range these books are directed for and they are so quick-witted. kids don't need stuff handed to them on a platter, they know how to put puzzle pieces together.)

example of the aforementioned "too much knowledge" issue: the pearls. (people have already explained the issues with medusa, the casino, procrustes, etc., so im going for a new one that's been bugging me a bit.) after percy received four pearls, the general conclusion people came to was that one pearl would break, forcing them to have to choose three people to go/one to stay and thus making the choice more "meaningful" (i.e. bc the opportunity to save everyone had been stripped). it's a fair choice, a fair reason, a fair analysis, and this is a change that bothers me but much more minimally than other changes to the show. here's the deal: the reason they had to give four pearls in the show was bc the trio already knew exactly what the pearls would do. there was no reason to give only three pearls bc that would force a character (probably percy) to raise the question of like "hey, that's not enough to save four people!" so where am i going with this?

in the books and the musical, we get the alluring line of what belongs to the sea can always return to the sea. percy gets three pearls in the book and a seashell in the musical, where he doesn't know right away the specifics of what this gift does (the seashell is an excellent example of adapting a story to a new medium, as a low-budget theatrical production can't afford the effects of smashing three pearls and causing people to vanish from the stage, so blowing the seashell to open a portal was a great move that worked for the new medium and retained the spirit of the source material - percy having an epiphany well after receiving the gift about what, exactly, the gift did and how it would help him). in the show, they issue is that they already know, thus creating the dilemma of there being no reason not to give four pearls. again, not the worst choice the show has made, but it's another example of how the show's most pervasive issue is over-explaining and giving too much information to its characters.

in short: the pjo show doesn't understand "show don't tell." they love telling even though "showing" is Most Important in film as a medium, like it's even more important to show what's going on in film than it is in prose because cinema is an inherently collaborative medium that generates a visually-dominated product. the show clearly lacks a fundamental understanding of the medium it is working with!! and that is bad!!

another issue: the lighting. this show suffers from the current trend in film to make dark scenes impossible to see in.

more characterological problems: the gods are not imposing. just to speak of ep. 7 alone, why was hades so... banter-y? in the book he literally makes percy's hand "move... against [his] will" to show him the pearls. there was none of that power and domineering energy in the show!! the pjo show keeps hammering us over the head with what should be a series-long revelation about the gods' flaws and pettiness and spite and misuse of their incredible power, and yet all of the gods seem almost like... caricatures. where is their ability to be charismatic and threatening. to be lax and powerful. to remind us that they can, have, and will kill demigods.

core thematic issue: the show lacks the humor and fun and adolescent spirit of the books. i've seen a lot of people insist the show is directed for young readers of the book, which i don't disagree with, but the lack of humor and energy and vitality is undoubtedly turning off a lot of younger viewers. in a lot of instances, everything feels so gritty and angsty, lowkey like the winx adaptation (but on a less severe scale). we have moments of sass/sarcasm, moments of levity, but it doesn't feel like a core trait of the show (much less of percy) like it does in the book. and honestly, i think that's a loss! if rick wanted a grim pjo adaptation, fine, but i wish the show hadn't been advertised as something perfectly attuned to the spirit of the book bc it's just not. if it was, i'd be laughing a lot more.

now, let's talk about sally...

i don't love how they've characterized sally in this show. i respect that they wanted to "modernize" her character and more accurately demonstrate the struggles of a single parent raising a child with learning (and in percy's case, also magical) difficulties. i genuinely do respect that choice, and i can follow the thorough-lines created in the show that illustrate this revamping of her character. similarly, i can respect that they didn't want sally to seem like a stereotypical "passive" victim of abuse re gabe, hence her explicitly pushing back at him. that said...

i still don't think these are effective or necessary changes, because i don't think sally was portrayed as overly passive or as a perfectly equipped parent in the book. i understand the argument that gabe is still presented as abusive, i.e. that he checks her phone without permission and controls access to the car, but those moments feel so technical. when i rewatch those scenes and examine the acting (both line delivery and bodily cues), sally is outwardly derisive toward gabe ("who's yancy?" / sally sighs and shakes her head, exasperated, has the long blink to give an extra beat before responding: "the school."), yet at the same time there's a banter between them, where sally insists that she's going to go to montauk no matter what, and if gabe disagrees then she won't bring back both their sandwiches for the knicks game that they apparently watch together often (implied by "you know i hate watching the knicks alone!" "so do i!"). sally holds herself confidently in this scene (hands on her hips). gabe is forced to actually ask politely for his sandwich order (and notably holds his shoulders slightly inward, visually closing himself off in a physical representation of surrender). two of my friends, diehard pjo fans who are not literature or film scholars, were both confused as to why sally and gabe seemed to be bantering within a seemingly standard relationship dynamic - not necessarily the happiest of couples, but a standard married couple (as opposed to clear imbalance of power between them in the book).

to be clear, it's not that sally needs to be a "passive victim of abuse," and it's certainly not that the show needs to explicitly depict gabe hitting sally or percy for us to understand that he is abusive. my issue is that the show seems to have not understood what made sally a strong character initially: her willingness to endure anything for her son, including marrying an abusive man who smelled so rankly human in order to prevent monsters from finding them. like, sally resisted gabe's abuse in the book! the reason blue food is a major motif in the first place is because sally and gabe had a fight where gabe insisted blue food wasn't a thing, and thus percy observes that "ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue."

in other words, verbally standing up to one's abuser is not the only way to demonstrate that a character is not a stereotypically weak, helpless, passive victim. it's definitely an easy choice with regard to cinematic staging (and the show has a pattern of taking the easy way out of conflicts and nuance), but i think the real issue is that sally's vocal protests come in tandem with the defanging of gabe. why does his body language and tone falter in arguments with sally? does he not have the upper hand? where is the evidence of an imbalanced power dynamic? there is no one way to write abuse bc the tragic reality is that abuse happens in an infinite number of ways, but nonetheless i am frustrated with the route the show went down in the first ep bc it feels reductive to the core of sally's character and her strengths: her endurance, her implicit but present rebelliousness, and her love for her son.

im also not a fan of some of the flashbacks we're getting with sally. it's not that sally shouldn't be "allowed" to get frustrated ever, but a major element of her characterization in the books is that she didn't take that frustration out on percy. i just don't see sally jackson getting upset that percy doesn't want to swim (beside that, i can't imagine percy not wanting to swim lmao). i just don't see sally jackson almost aggressively telling percy that he is the one making their goodbye ugly (because he's being a kid?? who doesn't want to leave his mom?? you're telling me sally wouldn't recognize the root of his anxiety immediately??). i just don't see sally speaking vaguely to percy about there being things she has to do that he doesn't understand instead of doing her best to meet percy where he's at with her explanation. if someone is coming to this show without having read the books, i genuinely think they might be starting to question sally's parenting, i.e. if she was really as wonderful a mom as percy insists or if he simply sees her through rose-tinted glasses. bc here's the thing: percy does see sally and his mom's struggles through rose-tinted glasses, and it's because sally bottles up and hides her struggles and frustrations from him. she doesn't let percy witness those frustrations. as such, there's an incongruity between book!sally and show!sally that doesn't mesh for me.

in short, show!sally feels like a new character to me. that's fine if that's the route they wanted to take, but again: why advertise it as a faithful adaptation if you're not going to be faithful to the core elements of central characters?

im also disappointed by how much the show has stripped annabeth of her character besides her intelligence. i have some thoughts about the adultification of young Black girls and the fact that annabeth is Black in the pjo show, mostly that i can't tell yet whether the show has the self-awareness to offer commentary on this reality for many Black girls through annabeth's character being seemingly defined by her intelligence and maturity or if they're simply unwittingly replicating this circumstance. i need more material before i can make a concrete assessment here, but all the same, i wish they were allowing these kids and especially annabeth to be kids - to make mistakes, to fall into traps, to have little crushes and get flustered, and to not know everything about every monster/obstacle before they come to face it.

people have talked to death the issue of the pacing so i won't belabor it but in general this show has terrible pacing. the first two eps are rushed (we got so little luke that im concerned his betrayal won't have much heart/meaning/oomph in the final ep), the constant unnecessary exposition creates periods of narrative drudgery, most of the fights lack tension bc the choreography is effectively nonexistent, them missing the solstice deadline has so far sucked the wind of the energy of their quest (of which there wasn't much in the first place bc the show did a poor job establishing the looming threat of a globally destructive war being on the horizon), and in general there's no sense of stakes. sigh.

i probably have more thoughts, but i'll stop for now bc i've got a shit ton of assignments to work on. in sum: the show lacks an understanding of how film operates as a medium, and while the merit of the show as an adaptation can be debated, it's simply a poorly constructed and lackluster piece of tv.

(but on the bright side? the trio is killing it even with the weak material they've been given, and their acting talent is the only reason i and many of my friends have kept watching)

#pjo show crit #pjo tv crit #my brain is EXPLODING with thoughts lmao #now i've gotta go work on my own movie o7 godspeed everyone #amy analyzes

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taroicantwait · 7 months

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Suggestive I guess. Kissing Anton. Reader is older, yeah. Bad writing bc English is not my first lenguaje. Bye.

October started and the hard part of school with it, the season was make it you going through an emotional ride. You are exhausted all the time with your morning job, school at noon, homework at night and your extra job at midnight.

Stress, exhaust, and need is how you feel all the time lately. You can't even remember when was the last time you sleep well, you eat well or kiss someone well. At this point even holding hands with anyone would help you.

Johnny was someone you meet in your second year in school, he was older than you and he became a good friend helping you with chores and dealing with uni life. After he graduated he opened the bar near to the campus and you work there some nights.

Being a waitress was a good job, the tips were good and John pay you enough to get you little special treats from time to time. There was in this bar where you meet Anton. Shy and handsome Anton.

Freshman were crazy and excited about uni life, the freedom of being far from home allowed them to be here and there as much as they wanted but always being careful about grades. What a time was that for you.

Shotaro was kinda a friend for you, you have classes together and even work together at the bar before he quit to his new job.

"girl! Look who I meet!"

That night you were introduced to bunch of new kids, Anton including. He was so shy, barely talking with you when the other guys shoot questions about campus and classes and club options for the rest of the semester.

September was a good month, easy with you, Anton was good and easy with you too.

Despite no having any class together, Anton was always around you somehow.

At the beginning it was just at the bar, quick Hi's, hand wave, he even bought you a drink once. Then it was around campus, saying hi in the corridor, if you meet by coincidence at the local cafe he would bought you a cup and then walk you to your next class, he would even carry you bag.

Then it scale a little, it wasn't just cups of coffee, it was full meals, he would even send you take out when he didn't see you at the bar, he would appear the next day in front of you class with a bagel and a coffee

"I know you didn't even have breakfast"

It was just a few weeks since you meet him and you know you're smart enough to know the little attraction to have for him is going to evolve into something more if he keeps acting like that with you. And you know he only acts like this with you (and maybe Shotaro told you a few things)

At this point you could make a move on him and just sell the deal, but the tension feels so good and your needy, stressed and exhausted ass is happy with it. So you just let it be.

"you can go home. this place is dead for today"

"if you don't mind me Johnny I wanna do my homework somewhere else but home, if I have to look the same wall again imma get crazy"

It was almost midnight when Johnny decided to close early, you started to get ready to go when the little bell announce someone new. It was Anton along with Sungchan and Seunghan.

"oh, guys. What are you doing here?"

"we came for something to eat. School is killing us and we haven't eat a proper meal in edges at this point"

Johnny look at you, you know how is to be a freshman and being far from home and he knows too.

"the kitchen is already closed. but I have some food in my apartment, you can come if you want"

"are you sure hyung?" Sungchan ask

"sure. it would be fun to have some company in home. are you coming?"

"nah, Im to tired, I'll get home, but have fun guys. bye!"

Not even two minutes pass when you hear Anton calling you.

"let me walk you home" he said breathless already taking your bag from your shoulder.

The way home was quite, you could feel his arm brushing yours form time to time, the warm of his body, the smell of his perfume. Anton was so much taller than you, your head barely reach his shoulder, so dawn here you could peek a bit to his face.

He was handsome. Pretty eyes, pretty skin, pretty hair, pretty smile, pretty voice, pretty lips.

He sometimes apply chapstick in his lips after lunch and the idea of kissing him looking pretty tentative. Before your thoughts line keep going the ringtone of your phone started playing.

It was your ex calling, you didn't answer already know it the speech he had for you. But he keep calling, and calling, and calling

"you want me answer?" Uh? " is obvious you don't wanna answer and is obvious this person will keep calling"

The silence must be loud because Anton stoped to look at you in the eyes, the ringtone started again and he, careful as always, took your hand where you phone was, took your phone and with his other hand he answered, all still holding your hand.

"hello?... im Anton... yeah... I don't remember her mentioned someone with that name before... no... I... I'm her boyfriend... I think you're calling the wrong number and I don't feel comfortable with some random men calling my girlfriend... No, bye"

Anton hang out and put your phone in his pocket, he started to walk again, still holding your hand. You didn't knew if it was the surprised actions from him or the new proximity between you but you sure you probably look a little dumb.

You apartment was in the third floor of a building permit, when you got inside the elevator you could see your reflection on the doors, Anton hand still holding yours, rosy cheeks and lips parted. Nobody but you use the elevator this late, you know it. It would be easy to ask him for a kiss in this moment and nobody but the security camera would know what happened.

Before you could open your mouth the doors open in your floor, once in front of your door the silence was still loud, after a moment Anton wish you good night and when you feel his touch loosing a little you knew it was now or never

"wait... You- I mean... You didn't have dinner. You wanna have dinner with me?"

He gave you a nod, you didn't want to but it was you who let go his hand to open your apartment door "should I take my shoes off?" He asked from behind you

"if you feel like"

Your house wasn't that big, the living and the kitchen in full display, Anton following you from behind, taking seat in the kitchen table while you check on your fridge if the poor menu you did last night was enough for you two to eat.

"The remote is on the couch, you can pick something to watch while I heat the food"

You want him with you, next to you, or maybe behind you. But you're also hungry and you know you can't focus with him around.

Anton was quick and before you knew he was again in the table kitchen looking at you.

"hope you like veggies because is the menu for tonight"

"ill eat anything but ramen. neither of the boys knows how to cook and I don't have time to do it neither"

"you cook? Why you never told me?"

"you didn't ask. but if you ask I'll cook for you. you can ask me anything"

"why don't we seat in the couch? What show you pick"

Before you could think more about his words you run to the living, leaving him in your kitchen.

He followed you after a bit and sat next to you, shoulder to shoulder, his leg brushing yours. Why so close?

You eat in silence, the show you don't even paying attention in front of you, the lights down and his body warm was making your mind and your heart run.

Anton definitely did a move on you earlier, is not like you hold hands with everyone all the time. And he called himself your boyfriend, not even Johnny or Taro had ever do that.

"i should go home, thank you for the food"

"no, Anton wait!"

You didn't even let him get up of the couch, you know the imagine you are giving is not the best, but this is a opportunity you know is gonna be hard to have again.

"can we- I mean... You don't have to agree but... you wanna stay a bit longer. Maybe watch a movie?"

"sure"

Anton let his plate on the little night table you had, he keep his eyes on the tv while you scroll through next flip for a movie, you maybe are imagine things but you could sword he got closer to you, he's tight touching yours.

"are you cold? you are shivering, want my hoodie?"

That's definitely a move

So you can pull one too

"want to cuddle?"

Anton didn't answer he just make himself comfortable and open his arms for you to get in, you look like a cat trying to find a good position for you, once you find one he just let you be still looking at the tv in front.

After a while you asking him if he was okay

"yes, you?"

"yes"

Again more silence, why he didn't talk more?

"how long you broke with your ex?"

Thank God.

"almost a year"

"and he keeps calling? Why?"

"our brake out wasn't the best. He was possessive and jealous and he didn't even know how to kiss"

"kiss?"

Anton look at you again, your face just a few inches apart, he look pretty all big eyes paying total attention to you. You bet his using that chapstick he usual use.

"o.m.g, Anton, don't tell you don't know what a kiss is"

You said, obvious- pretty obviously- joking.

" I do know. want me to show you?"

This could go two routes, you saying no, make the situation a little uncomfortable and he going home and not talk to you anymore. Or you could just smash your lips against his and have the well deserved kiss you've been craving for with the pretty guy who treats you like a dolly.

Anton's lips definitely taste like cherry shine lip balm, it also taste warm and inviting. It was just a little smuch in the lips, the perfect pressure the perfect breath rythim and the little circles his hands were doing in your shoulder were so pleasing.

"want to me to stop?"

You didn't give a verbal answer decided to kiss him again instead, your hand went to his face feeling the hot skin against you palm. This time the kiss when a more open, full lips adjusting to each other without space to slowing down the pace.

Anton breath started to heat it up and yours too, it was a nerve move but you adjust your self a little more on top of him and of course not so shy handsome good kisser Anton would catch the vibe and he reclined a bit on your couch so you were now almost on his lap.

"can i- I mean... Can I..."

"yes, whatever you want" he said

The imagine in front of you was worth the cut, Anton eyes shimmering and hazy, neck and cheeks red and plumb lips as well, you bet his firm chest product of the swimming sessions is probably red as well.

After sitting on his lap, you took very careful the collar of his shirt to pull him to you, his hands in automatic to your hips

"like this, want ya close"

This time he started the kiss, hugging you closer as you wanted, one arm around your waist and the other between your hair making your breath hitch for how good it feels

You didn't know how much time passed in this state, you in Anton's embrace begin kissed by him in the couch of your apartment, you didn't know when you started to move your hips against his.

His hand were on your hip, not making more than that, just resting there letting you take control of the currently situation.

"Wait, honey, wait"

"why?" You ask but still obey him

"I need a rest, if we keep going we need to talk first.

Oh. Okay.

"I didn't mean to you getting out of my lap. just... a moment please"

You didn't knew how much time passed but you woke up a bit after, Anton under you still sleeping in your couch, after what feel like the most religion experience you had in your life just for kissing a boy.

You could think of this in the morning before going to work, right now, you are too comfortable to thing about anything but bold and good kisser Anton.

#riize #riize anton #anton lee #anton fic #anton soft hours #riize scenarios #anton scenarios #i have absolutely no idea what i wrote #im getting crazy about this boy.#anton imagines #anton x reader

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femmesandhoney · 20 days

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Hey I hope this isn't too annoying of an ask, but literally how are you so happy at college? You're like the student I want to be, you're always posting on here about your classes and you're so engaged and seem so into it. Every semester for me is just another couple months of the time passing and panicking. I'm either completely paralyzed in bed or I'm crying in bed. Like, how do you seem so good at this?

it's not all sunshine and rainbows believe me. even my best friend has told me i come off as someone who "has it all figured out", but i often do not feel the same lol, i miss assignments, i stress out and procrastinate until the last minute, i get drained from all the work mentally and physically. all the regular college shit. outside of that tho, i legitimately love learning and interacting with others who are interested in what i like and who i can learn from. that's usually what keeps me happy! i love the people i meet in my classes, i like group discussions, i like being introduced to new things, i love my profs and take all the classes i can with them. generally, im just friendly w people in my classes and that makes me enjoy going to them, and i take classes i enjoy, and if they're reqs i don't care for, i always try to take something out of the experience.

some people do not find learning for the sake of learning fun, but i do, which makes even the roughest days okay, but that doesn't mean the tedious and demanding aspects of college curricula do not wear me down too. i decided to wait to go to grad school bc im exhausted! i am tired and need a break from always having another damn assignment to do and another article to read 😭 those things are taxing, and i already have bad self discipline habits, so you can imagine i often make stuff harder for myself than they need to be. the only reason i get good grades is bc im smart and have a relatively easy time understanding the subjects i study. if i take anything outside my favorite academic areas, like say the natural resources class i took a few years ago, that shit had me crying every damn day lmao.

so yeah, i just enjoy learning for learning sake, but also i like academia and going thru the motions of a classroom experience is fun to me for all the reasons i listed, including the fact i want to be a college professor and just enjoy that atmosphere a lot. i would wager if you're constantly frustrated by your college experience, maybe analyze a bit deeper on what you most dislike? is it specific profs, the people in ur classes, the subject material itself? if theres anything you can try and control to make it more agreeable for you, always take the opportunity, tho ik its not always possible. im lucky that all my areas of study have naturally wonderful people drawn to them (especially the international studies students!), but ik some majors can draw less nice people sometimes :( which can make ur experience harder than it should be. or some people legitimately do not enjoy the institutions that are schools and what they traditionally demand from a person, which is completely understandable. my best friend didn't go to college bc she barely graduated high school bc she hated attending and never turned in her hw. some people just do not thrive in such strict school environments for many reasons. but whatever your case is, i hope you have easier semesters in the future if you continue, no one should ever be so stressed from a class that they cry over it. i think thats a failure of a class and a professor when that occurs, and a sign of a bad class/prof rather than a bad student.

#im writing this at 2am i hope its not typo ridden

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goth-oatmilk-latte · 9 months

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it really bothers me to see other women my age having bridal showers or pretty weddings or even getting married. i cannot imagine having close, supportive friends and family in any endeavor, much less my failed attempt at marriage. again.

i never wanted a wedding, but it would be nice to have enough friends to have a bridal party or a wedding or even to pick out a dress with. when i thought i was going to have a small wedding, i tried on dresses alone for about ten minutes before i handed everything back to the attendant and told her sorry i lied no one else was coming and i didnt want to take up her time trying on dresses no one will even care about. i never have true friendship from other women and i know i never will. all of my girlfriends end up not being friends with me for one reason or another, or we are still "friends," but they very loudly with their actions let me know im not worth their time to be around. they find the time for others but not me.

theres not a real comparison for the loneliness you feel with a dozen dresses and hearing the bridal party next to yours all talking about how pretty their bestie looks while you try to imagine someone being out there for you, but knowing theres no one and that it doesnt even matter. what was even more embarrassing was the lady asked if my mom or mother in law was coming and if I wanted to wait for them, and i had to also tell her neither of them gave a fuck and i really did lie i didnt have anyone else, it was just me, and i didn't want to waste a perfectly good fitting room and party area for no one, that i just wanted to try on some stuff to see if i looked okay enough to consider a wedding.

and i didn't. i didnt even fully try anything on i just held it up to my body and decided i was going to look hideous so what was the point anyway. i think i got one like almost fully on before i decided it was enough. i could just order something cheap off shein if i wanted bc no one would care.

i wish i wasnt always everyone's stepping stone to their perfect partner or friendship, but i always am. ive never once been good enough to be "the one," im the one everyone abuses and fucks up before they find their one. it is exhausting to know i dont hold any significance to anyone that theyd stop abusing me or cheating on me or wouldnt do it to begin with bc they just love me for me. i get it though. im not pretty, im not interested, im not smart, im not funny, im just mentally ill. so im like a trial version of a wife, you can decide what about me youd change and find the woman who fits those and boom. your perfect woman!

that is my role. i am lifes stepping stone.

im tired of it.

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aitian · 3 months

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Mon 01/29/24 1:57am

it's been more than a year. damn. couldn't write all year bc i have been so ashamed & traumatized.

back in school for electrical engineering & honestly i hate it. at least im (slowly) learning some useful things from within the massive amounts of bullshit. when does this end...

if i could have seen into the future, i would be so ashamed & sad to know what im doing now. maybe i wouldn't have made it to today. maybe i would have just done better. what a mess.

it's a bit painful to relive but here are the facts:

terrible teaching job. rude, dirty, sick. kids were funny. one kid won the spelling bee (we would practice together in the hall) & told me she wanted to be an artist. one kid never talked & had bad spoken english but wrote a rly good reflection essay abt boarding schools & american education (postscript "im hungry"). one kid told me stories abt learning to drive a motorcycle with his dad in DR & bragged to all the other kids that i was a great help for his high school application. that is all.

went to taiwan w the roomies. it was ok. really beautiful, wish i saw more of the mountains & oceans

terrible nonprofit job. abusive, useless, malicious. spent a lot of time studying soc*alism w chinese ch@racteristics & material origins of class society. honestly developed some optimism for human progress. fired for working too many hours & representing the org extremely well on a panel where the other panelists and audience really lifted up my perspective. everyone respected my work except the narcissist clowns. i met a nice friend named alan. that is all.

went to china, & felt saved & relieved to see people standing up. this time there was much less air pollution, especially near the coastal cities. luoyang had a bit more, but the city was a giant network of parks. i counted five rows of trees on each side of the streets. my uncles are so smart with critical analysis of history, human progress, world politics, and local affairs. sigh... feels bad to be treated like a dog in this backward country. i realized that i need training that prepares me for the realities of this strange world.

applied to school for electrical engineering. studied python & calculus in the meantime-- & thank god i did... i honestly felt good abt the decision, knowing that i need to develop myself if i want to survive in this world.. & i have reasons or energy to do it instead of waiting for death. is that the end of depression?

hung out w adele, erica, & tracy a bit bc they were all in town for the holidays. i missed my friends. they were rly nice to me.

started school in january. it fucking sucks. ppl r so stupid & rude. ridiculous. im tired & angry every day. i am running a huge marathon full of sloppy, impossible problems that take hours longer than they should. overworked & mad every day.

some reflections i guess..

emmy has been really hands-off with my life. idk if they dont have ideas or dont want to step in, or they r just observing what happens. idk. i dont feel like emmy approves or disapproves of anything. maybe relieved when i escape the shitholes i dug myself into. i hope emmy can help me become someone i feel proud of. i helped emmy apply to masters programs but idk if its the right step for emmy, & they dont have strong reasons honestly. they got accepted by the committee a few days ago. sigh.. i desperately want emmy to have my back.

im back to being so depressed. unsure abt what im doing, feeling doomy abt past present & future. will things get better? im in trouble if i need to tell myself that to cope w the present. im stronger than i was before, i think....

hang in there, love.

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zombies-aliens · 4 months

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I can't stop thinking about this mf who disrespected me on new years. I swear I'm filled rage about that I'm keeping inside until I see him. I'm trying to hold back on deciding to straight up beat this mf on sight and set that bitch straight. I'm fantasizing so much on what I'd say when I knock him out, seeing him bloody in the face, I plan to knock him out with one good punch, I don't wanna do too much harm, and hey if he doesn't and we fight, man win or lose idgaf, the message is that he's not gonna disrespect me for free, idgaf if it was over text. He said what he said now it's on. He better know what he started a fight with those fighting words. This fucking guy is suppose to be family but now all I can remember if that time he's hated on me, when his mom told me I had nice shoulders he came in saying it's just the jacket - being a fucking hater! But I let it go because I don't stand up for myself, I guess I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and it's hard to do it when you wanna keep the peace but I shouldn't have, sometimes I have a comeback thing to say on the spot but I won't say it because of that, and there's this other time in a party chat with his friends idk if I got an invitation but I joined in and his friends were like who is that and he said "I don't know" like hold up man I'm your fucking cousin tf u mean you don't know? Alright I see you. And you know why I remember that shit cus that shit hurt man he's suppose to be family and all he had to say yeah that's my cousin but naw, he's too cool, he's too big, too fucking jealous I guess 😂 idfk why but really man why can't you show some love to a cousin when we get along well. But what it really is is I get along with him he has some kind of beef with me for whatever dumb reason it is. Dude I'm pissed the fuck off he thinks he can disrespect me again I'm so fucking tired of this mf. This traitor offered me a job in Cali, it would be nice money to make but if this is how he thinks he's gonna treat me look man I'm not going for it then, I'll never put my respect over money. He's gonna see too. Another memory I have is my other cousin telling me he's jealous because I was singing a song in Spanish. And my cousin caught on that he was feeling jealous. And I believe that cousin bc he's a smart person. And who knows what else man. But honestly that cousin too man idk who's straight with me. He's been cool so I hope he doesn't switch up on me like this punk did. Idgaf if he was drunk neither do not disrespect me again. He thinks he's hard man ima have to punish him and in my head it would feel good to beat his ass up. Ive been fantisizing ever since.

All of this is me ranting rn. I need go get this off my chest. Haven't made a decision on my next move. I'm sorry but pls understand that im pissed off and I'm trying to release some steam

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 10 months

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could i get an obey me matchup perchance :o

i’m bi and i use any pronouns. aries sun, virgo moon, taurus rising and entp

appearance: i’m like 5’9 or something idk also can’t tell if my hair is blonde or brown. i have heterochromia and i gotta lotta moles/freckles. i like to wear bright colors and i rarely wear makeup. im 24 but ppl say i look 16. skinny af but i have been told many times that i have a pixar mom dumpy

personality: a lot of people have told me i am very calm but also chaotic. i see humor in everything so i inevitably become the designated “funny friend” in every friend group 😔 i am silly but i’m also smart and responsible i graduated college with a 4.0 gpa and double honors. i have a bachelorettes degree in animation and now i’m getting my masters in creative writing. i wanna be an artist or writer full time someday but for now i teach college fiction writing and that’s pretty fun too. i like to tease ppl and start arguments but only when it’s lighthearted, i avoid real conflict like the plague cuz i’m bad at standing up for myself/setting boundaries. i also hate asking people for things i don’t wanna be a burden. i wouldn’t call myself a perfectionist but i’ll work at something until it’s more than decent bc i hate letting people down. i love to entertain ppl ^_^ i can be flirty with people i don’t like but when it comes to ppl i am actually attracted to i become smooth spongebob it fuckin sucks

likes: iced black coffee, raccoons, cats, birds, blue flavored things, swimming, acting, graphic novels, hyperpop, shitty b movies, punctuality and respect for other people’s time, nature, long car rides, karaoke, fellow creatives and people who treat me niceys

dislikes: spiders, sand, driving, cooking, germs, bad smells, early mornings, dress codes, email etiquette, people telling me what to do “because i said so”

hobbies: writing, digital art, animating, going on walks, making parody songs, ice skating, making and taking online quizzes

other: i have 2 pet birds 4 younger siblings and i’m horrible at sports/dancing i am not in tune with my body at all, also i suck at math. my love language could be whatever they need tbh but i do appreciate quality time a lot

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while; life's crazy at the moment. I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Mammon is definitely your best match in Obey Me! You're both funny but can be serious when the mood calls for it.

You're both awful at flirting with each other, much to the chagrin of the other brothers. You can flirt amazingly with anyone else, but when it comes down to the people you actually care about, all flirting skills go out the window. The brothers are so tired of it...

Loves watching B movies with you. They're one of his favourite types of movie so you'll hear no complaints from him when you suggest watching one.

Will do all the driving. He's pretty protective of his cars so he prefers to drive anyway. Mammon would love going on long drives with you; he gets to spend time with you without his brothers butting in.

Will also take care of any spiders around the house. But not without demanding a kiss as payment. Feel free to either give him a kiss or a punch.

Loves watching you work on your latest animation project! It's one of the few times Mammon will sit still for more than a few minutes. He just thinks you're really clever for being able to make what you do.

You will definitely be asked to tutor him. You're good at studying and get good marks and Mammon is the exact opposite. He'll try his best when studying with you but it's still a struggle for him. Just be patient and give him rewards when he does well.

Lucifer hopes spending time with you will make some of your responsibility rub off on his younger brother. He also hopes Mammon's irresponsibility doesn't rub off on you...he can really only handle one person in his life acting like that.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #mammon

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theunintentionallyawesomeone · 10 months

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no one cares but it's my blog and I get to rant on it bc it helps me feel better and explore my thoughts.

But yes I am still mad about what went down w my coworker Friday.

The more I stew the more I get annoyed (not healthy I know) bc like as far as I know I only did what I was accused of twice?

And one time I will argue was 100% ok bc another coworker literally tried to wash her hands with powdered bleach and that's dangerous???? Like I get it, they touched something gross but I will go down as being bossy or whatever about that.

Like I guess my pushing about leaving wild animals alone bc u can get zoological illness without being bitten was too much since it was not related to a currently happening event.

I think the part that makes me most angry is when I was told to stop or that coworker would go to our boss about it. I'm mad at myself for not realizing it wasn't a joke and making smart-ass comments when just saying 'ok sorry' would have ended it but also I'm annoyed bc I still don t think I was 100% in the wrong for it. Especially since everyone got mad at me for moving something heavy by myself but me saying 'be careful'and 'don't use ajax as soap' is somehow not ok...

(I'm still going to say 'be careful' a lot anyway since we're moving shit and using chemicals that make the floors slick as shit...)

Thinking back im starting to wonder if it's not so much the being annoying or over talking or be careful but whom these events tended to happen to? The youngest coworker was the receiving end of both the events from Friday and I vaguely recall them getting snippy about my be careful while moving stuff.

I know they don't like me and I get flustered by them bc imo they have a bit of a dunning-kurger effect bc they were at the same building last year. (I've worked that building too but not last year, AND I've been doing this job for a literal fucking decade. I know what im doing more often than not...)

Like idk maybe they went and complained about me to the other coworker who talked to me? Maybe they're misinterpreting some of my comments as more aggressive than I intended them to be?

Maybe they just don't like me bc I'm loud and annoying and don't go to the same church as them.

I'm still tempted to bring my good headphones to work and just try not to talk to anyone...cant "be mean" or pushy or whatever if im focused on my tunes.

... honestly they'd probably like it. ..

I'm tired of day shift. I want it over with. I want my lonely nightshift back where I can listen to a podcast and not have to be confronted with people or my terrible social skills. If someone wants to use bleach as hand soap or pick up wild bats or try to shove a bench under an open in some tables instead of just carrying it 5 feet down the hall to an open space, then fine. Not my problem. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

#personal-ish

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

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still havent applied for any jobs in many many weeks 🤢 i need the money but jfc im scared shitless of all jobs but esp ones knowing i have to be social and smiling comtinuously nd deal w unexpected questions and irregular working schedules but those r still by far the most accessible jobs contrary to stuff tht requires 10 yrs of working experience or different skills tht im even less confident in or are above minimum wage which i just Do Not Trust the job descriptions for

#working in a shop is prob the most logical thing to go for but god i have such bad experience w two shops before #i shouldve told them im autistic but i know that wont get you hired #rambles #just. it seems like u either have to be super social nd Flexible nd smiling all the time nd deal w sudden things #or have done a more useful study (useful in a capitalist system at least) than super specific ones tht are p much liberal arts #like goddd i hate work i hate jobs i NEED the money but im so bad at lying abt having any talent whatsoever #everyone telling me 'but you can draw and youre smart' please stop please #i dont want to do anything w drawing rn its so uncertain nd w the way i draw all detailed its not smth you can make a job out if here #its rly not what the market here wants nd online i ont reach many ppl either! not to mention im barely drawing after i quit art school early #nd yes technically im smart but i have 0 focus / concentration nd no memory of almost everything ive learned #whats the use of being 'intelligent' when ppl who are considered less smart can remember nd focus nd read much better bd faster #i have a very limited vocabulary bc im just not very social nor read books so i cant write either #i know the key to getting a job is lying abt everything and hopefully get hired and then actually learn skills #god but im also really bad at learning practical things bc ppl do them so fast or not at all nd expect u to figure it out #im so sick and tired of my bullshit!!! i only whine nd cry all the time abt having to find a job instead of apply for them!!#like bitch i still have a shitton if privilege w a dutch last name on my resume nd being fluent in dutch nd having studied #at the same time whatever ill look for requires like (v)mbo level education in the job description #so it should be even easier to grt a job #i just DONT KNOW HOW TO LIE ABT HAVING ALL THESE SKILLS OR WANTING TO WORK #i hate this i hate this im so so done w me

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soulwillower · 3 years

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semi-charming • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader smut)

requested: Do you have any bill denbrough x reader’s that you have finished that can be posted? I really love your work I re read it like everyday lol :) + AKANSHAKAKMA U SHOULD POST THE BILL DENBROUGH HATE SMUT AHHHH + don’t be shy post the b.d hate smut 😀🔫🥰🌝

i haven’t posted a fic in well over several months but i hope u guys like it :) im here and around still so send me something if u wanna chat <3 i also have re opened my requests lkajsdlkaj

also - i gained a lot of new followers while i was gone and im sure some ppl want to be removed from my taglist SO: i am gonna start a new taglist!!! pls send me a message and let me know if you want to be on it bc after this post im starting fresh !!!!!!!!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of weed, dorm living, almost-strangers hooking up, smut, choking (light), light spitting, a tiny bit of dirty talk, switch!bill, its kinda fluffy smut tbh, enemies-to-lovers but its so lowkey, kinda cute guys, neighbor-ish au,

(losers + reader are 19+.)

4.1k words

♡

the first time it happened, you wrote it off as unintentional.

it's happened to everyone: you're joking around with your roommate, or reaching over to grab your laptop, and you fall off your bed to the floor. you knock over your lamp or someone knocks over the handle that was sitting half-empty on the mini-fridge. the tile on the ground of the dorm rooms are hard and cold and don't do much to quiet the noise of anything, so you get that.

but whatever the hell was going on in the room above you was not that. it was three in the morning, and your head was spinning in that sickening way that only happens when you take too many drinks in a short time and find your way to bed for a few hours before being startled awake.

a loud thump made you jump in your bed, heart racing as you woke in surprise.

it was around twenty more loud thuds from your ceiling (in a span of barely two minutes) that you gathered the energy to slide out of your bed, sliding on your dorm slides and throwing on a shirt to cover your near naked body before storming into the hallway to climb the most challenging single story of stairs in your life, right to your upstairs neighbors' door.

your hand was banging on the door for a mere five seconds before the door swung open and a terribly confusing sight fell onto your eyes.

three boys who you've only ever seen in passing before in your dorm, all shirtless and heaving breaths. the one who answered the door, possibly bill or mike (judging by the stupid name tags on their door), has bright eyes and dark auburn hair that reflects in the dim light of the hall, backlit by the neon purple from inside the room. his sweaty bare abdomen made your eyes twitch as you glared at him, suddenly more irritated because he's kind of really hot and stupid and annoying, and you needed to sleep.

"hi.” he said casually, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober, either.

“so what is your fucking problem?" you said in lieu of a greeting, half-asleep and pissed beyond belief (also still drunk). the boy who answered the door raised his brows, head turning with a brow raised, as if to ask his buddies 'are they for real?' before turning back with a large, cocky smile, "pardon you? we already turned down the music."

you blinked, knowing you must have seemed so rude and looked insane but it was a weeknight and you had class in the morning, "wh- what, no- i'm not here about music. it's like three, you're slamming on the floor and i can hear it like i'm in a fucking tornado in my room below you so you need to knock it off."

then the other boy, further back with foggy glasses, started laughing. the other one laughed too, rubbing his neck sheepishly, still breathing heavy. "what the hell are you guys even doing in there?" you added, running a hand through your hair in exasperation.

"they were trying to bench press me. but then bill decided to start doing squat jumps onto his bed." the boy with glasses explained as he rubbed his chest, still concealed by the darkness of the room, illuminated only by the stupid LED neon lights that every single person in the dorms had lining their rooms. that explained the thudding.

"why." you'd deadpanned. you were too tired for this, but you'd wanted them to understand that it was keeping people up. "richie got us kicked out of Pike for stealing their doorknobs and pledge class photos." the third boy says, elbowing the boy, richie. "we felt like working out, but then richie said we couldnt press him, so..." he trails off at the look you give.

"you want my workout routine or something?" richie asks you. you sharply inhale and bill smiles, "well, if that's all, we'll be going. i've got one more rep to get in."

your eyes widened, jaw dropping at his words. he'd laughed, then, and your eyes couldn't stop as you stared at his sculpted abs flex in the light. god damn it.

"chill out, neighbor. sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep." he said as he noticed your look, and you wanted to fucking hit him.

you rolled your eyes, picking up on his facetious tone. "whatever. just knock it off. thanks," you'd griped, sarcastically smiling at them before trudging away towards the stairwell. and you'd caught it when bill muttered, "is now a bad time to assemble my ikea desk with my drill?"

you'd run into bill once again a few days after when you'd gone to use the bathroom on the floor above you where your friend lived, washing out the bowl you'd used for lunch. a 'shh!' had made your brows furrow as you'd walked in, not paying attention as you'd heard a shower stop and a girl laugh from the other side of the bathrooms.

but a deep voice grunting 'ow, fuck' made you freeze and then feel hot, wondering what kind of luck you have to be in the bathroom when some people were hooking up in the shower. but you're reminded that you had the worst luck when you go to leave the bathroom and two figures round the corner, hair soaking wet and hoods pulled over their heads. making eye contact with him, he must've seen how flustered and irritated you were, because he cracked a grin, "good to see you again, neighbor. you sleeping well these days?"

that was only a few days ago. you'd seen him in passing at a party at one of the frats, but had avoided any interaction with him after you saw him and his friend with the glasses snickering to themselves after sneaking looks to you. god, you didn't want to face them again - they were so mocking, so cocky.... so rude, and they made you feel like you were being insane just for wanting to have peaceful sleep. bill was not your favorite person.

but as bad as the first two experiences were, the third time you had the misfortune of interacting with bill, it was the worst.

your roommate was out for the weekend, and you'd found yourself stuck with your leg and ankle pinned between your heavy file cabinet under your bed and your bedframe, unable to scoot it over on your own to free your leg.

you were planning on relaxing tonight, after being stood up from a booty call hook up. you’re mad, frustrated, horny, and close to tears now that you’ve gotten yourself stuck pinned to your bed.

it’s nearly one in the morning, and nobody’s in the hall.

but then, bill walked past your open door as you struggled, and desperately you called, "hey!"

his double-take into your room, his head poking in, would have been charming if the face was anybody but him.

"what?" he asks, suddenly noticing it’s you. his voice is not charming and calm as you've seen him be with other peers, but in your stubborn mind, you convince yourself it’s fine; you don’t like him, either.

"i'm stuck, can you help?" you say despite your thoughts.

he sighs, dropping his backpack next to your bed and then tugging to try and move the cabinet.

"how did you do this?" he mutters as he pulls as hard as he can to pull it, but your shoe is too wedged diagonally against the floor, cabinet and frame. you sigh, "thought i could nudge it to the side with my toes, i dropped my dab through the crack."

he chuckles, trying to instead shove it backwards instead; to no avail. "smart girl." he says sarcastically, and you roll your eyes, trying to help him shove it. "what was the point of you keeping me up all fucking night if you aren't strong enough to move this shit?" you say, exasperated because it's starting to dig into your calf.

he stops, rolling his eyes at you. "has anyone ever told you that you can be a bit rude?" he asks, moving closer to you to try and push it away. you look down at him from where you stand, elbows on your mattress. "no. you're just a dick. fight fire with fire, or whatever." you mutter, face feeling hot.

you can't stop staring at his shoulders, his arms - they're so hot, the veins popping out of his hands and forearms, the smell of his aftershave wafting into your nose from where he kneels next to you.

he just hums. "i'm going to try to push your leg forward and then push the cabinet away." he states, and you nod, just wanted this nightmare to be over. you're still terribly embarrassed and the proximity to such a hot and confusingly irritating boy is making you lose your grip.

it takes a lot in you to not jolt when his warm hand wraps around your bare leg and starts to pull you, his strong hold on you making you tingle. "what's your name?" he asks, and you almost laugh as his grip on your thigh tightens, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your skin making you hot. this is insane. "y/n." you struggle out, throat feeling dry - there's no reason his hand needs to be so high up on your leg, but some part of you really wants it. "it says that on my door." you say breathlessly.

whatever he was going to reply with is cut off as he tries to readjust his grip on you and the cabinet, but his hand slides up and grazes the skin near the apex of your thigh, coaxing a sharp gasp to fall from your mouth.

he turns red, looking up at you, "god, sorry." he mutters, and you bite your lip, unable to look away.

you kind of forget to say anything, stuck staring at him, heart thumping as wetness pools between your legs just from this boy's touch. god, you've got to get laid.

his arm is wrapped around the onside of your leg, thumb reaching higher on your thigh than his other fingers, and for a moment you hesitate before deciding to go for it: you drop your hand hand to his hair, pulling lightly as you 'steady yourself,' smirking as you feel his shaky breath against your thigh.

you don't even care about getting unstuck now, all you can think about is being fucked into the mattress by this asshole boy from the fourth floor. you’re not sure where this feeling came from.

when he finally pushes the cabinet away, causing you to stumble to catch your ground. he helps you get the cart and then push the cabinet back, awkward small talk making you want to die. "why were you down here anyways?" you ask, rubbing your leg. "mike kicked me out to be with a girl and all my friends are out for tonight." he sighs, rubbing his neck. "i have to do homework tonight, just going to find somewhere quiet to get it done."

"that's surprisingly responsible." you say, looking at him wearily. he gives you an annoyed look, "what's that supposed to mean?" you roll your eyes, "you don't seem particularly academically motivated." you state, unsure if you're coming across as flirtatious or just a dick. he gives you a look as he moves to grab his things from next to your bed. "you seem more pleasure motivated."

you catch your mistake immediately - and he does, too, smirking. you stutter to fix it, "don't be gross." you defend weakly.

he's biting his lip and something rumbles in your chest, flames in your abdomen. it's hard to gauge if you don't like him or if you do. maybe you're just horny.

"i thought you were cute, you know, until you showed up at three in the morning to chew me out." he mutters, eyebrows raised, "i get that that was annoying, but it was a saturday. everyone was drunk, i don't get why you are still being a bitch." his face drops when he says that, as if he didn't mean to say it at all, but he doesn't take it back. you shrug, not too offended. he kind of has a point, "i don't get why you have to make everything so much harder than it has to be. doesn't matter how hot you are, i don't have to like you, you know." you say, crossing your arms with a smirk.

"believe me, i'd rather you not like me." he says, smile on his face troubling. you look at him, trying to gauge why you're feeling so flustered, why you want to jump his bones right now no matter how annoying he is. "then why haven't you left yet?" you challenge. you figure if you're reading his actions wrong, this gives him an out.

"because i kind of want to fuck you now." he says boldly. you just smirk, walking towards where he sits on your desk chair, lowering yourself to straddle him. he looks up at you, eyes large and mischievous as he pulls you down on him all the way, your hips grinding lightly. "i think you want to fuck me always." you whisper, lips hovering above his, teasing. you're eating up all his attention, soaking it up and savoring the way he watches you.

you boldly snake your hand down between the two of you, lips still refusing to touch his, your hand starting to tease his clothed cock as it hardens under your palm. you stroke him as you lean, almost kissing him before pulling away. he glares at you.

then you move your hips, the tension in your room killing you. he lets out a half-moan, causing you to buck your hips again, relishing in the pleasure it gives you. he leans forward, trying to catch your lips, but your hand catches his chest, your lips just centimeters from his own. "fuck you, y/n." he says, fed up with your teasing as his hands squeeze your ass, moving to the bottom of your thighs and then rising with surprising ease, holding you against him and making your heart thump in shock. he takes four long strides towards your bed, tossing you on it. you grin, expecting for him to climb onto you, but instead he's walking towards your door, making your heart quicken. is he leaving?

he slams your door shut, though, and it makes you smirk as he clicks the lock. you're on your back, the sight of him upside down making you bite your lip, eyes nearly even with the bulge in his sweatpants.

he walks up to you, and you eye him as he bends forward, hand catching your chin, holding your head forward with a strength you didn't expect. "look at me." he says suddenly. you blink, feeling hot as you stare into his eyes.

"don't tease me." he says, and you swallow, heart racing in excitement. "okay." you croak, and it seems to satisfy him because he tilts your neck from here he holds your neck and chin, kissing you soundly on your lips. you feel on fire at his touch, squirming as you slip your hands into his hair - it's making you so needy that he's holding you, almost trapped on the mattress, kissing him upside down.

he pulls away and you flip around, allowing for him to climb onto the bed, barely enough time before you pull him in for another kiss, this one heated and desperate.

he bites marks on your neck as your hands palm him, pushing your own thighs together in need. slowly, you push him down against your mattress and sling a leg over his hip, moving to straddle him. his hands find your hips easily, looking at you like you're the only thing ever worth looking at; your breath leaves your lungs and you steady yourself, the reality of how fucking beautiful bill is hitting you at once.

you pull his shirt off, yours coming off, leaving you in just your shorts and underwear. he palms your tits, pinching your nipple as you grind down against his cock, whimpering at the feeling of his pants against your clothed clit. "if only you'd come up to my room like this." he says, and you snap your eyes to his, seeing the teasing grin but glaring at him. "maybe you would've been nicer to me if you knew how good i'd make you feel." he whispers as you resume your hip's movement, "shut up, bill." you hiss. he laughs, his thumb making contact with your clit takes you by surprise and you jump a bit, moaning quietly as your eyes close in pleasure.

"take these off." he mutters into your mouth as you bite his bottom lip. you take off your shorts, quickly resuming your spot straddling him, his lips trailing from your breasts to your throat and then your mouth again, grinding against him in need. he toys with your slit over your panties before he pulls them slowly to the side, spreading your juices on his long fingers, humming as he brings his fingers to his lips, watching you as he licks his fingers. you nearly moan, impatient enough that you kiss him, tasting yourself on his lips faintly; "do you want me?" you whisper against his lips.

"i wish i didn't," he says, "but yes. do you want to do this?"

you're breathless, beside yourself with need, "yes." you say quickly, tugging his sweats off and tossing them to the floor. "fuck you, by the way." you spit, flipping him off. he grins and it's fucking beautiful, his smirk, his red cheeks, heaving chest. budding hickeys bloom over his neck and chest as he catches your hand, tugging you forward over him, whispering, "you're about to."

you roll your eyes, ignoring the butterflies in your chest, hand falling over his as he pumps himself. your thumb swipes over his tip, spreading his precum before opening the condom he'd pulled out of his pocket (you don't even want to know why he brought one with him to study) and roll it onto his cock.

and then you’re pushing aside your panties and stabilizing yourself on bill’s chest. you line yourself up on him and look to him for one last confirmation. he nods, “quick fucking around, babe.” he says, but his voice sounds desperate and his cheeks are flushed and you let out a strangled moan as you sink onto him, the nickname making your stomach flutter. you have to stay and give yourself time to adjust to his size, his moans swallowed by your own mouth as your tongue swipes his. his hands roam your body, squeezing your hips, your ass, your breasts and then rising to cup your neck and back.

“shit, bill.” you whimper as you slowly start to move up and down. his eyes fall shut in pleasure and his head tilts back, exposing the entire expanse of his throat for you to claim, his hands falling to your hips. your eyes watch his thin necklace shine in the faint light from your lamp and he's filling you up perfectly.

he looks like fucking heaven.

you kiss his neck lightly as you pick up the pace, bouncing on him steadily as his fingers grip the sides of your thighs.

“fuck, y/n.” he whispers, staring at you with his lips caught between his teeth. the feeling of him stretching inside you and hitting the perfect spot has your legs shaking already, breathing heavily. he’s soon surging up, kissing you deeply as groans fall from his lips, his arms rising to your waist to hold you as you move.

"you're much better when you're not talking." you mutter as you fuck yourself on him, moving your hips as you bounce. he rolls his eyes, "i'd fuck you every day if it meant you wouldn't come ruin my fun every night." he quips back, eyes challenging. and your hand rises to squeeze around his throat, at first as a joke, but then he smiles brightly, a smirk that stirs something in you and you squeeze ever so slightly, the feeling of his pulse making you moan.

his smirk sends butterflies through your stomach, pleasure swirling in your core. but then his own hand rises to your own throat, squeezing lightly.

you moan, unable to keep it together. "you think two can't play this game, y/n? it's like you don't know me." he tuts, seemingly pleased as you're flushing, gasping as your legs stutter, his hips moving up to meet yours, strokes hitting you deep. “i don’t,” you whisper, and he hums.

your legs stutter after one particularly satisfying thrust and he grabs your hips, lifting slightly and biting his lip as he starts to thrust up into you. “oh, my god,” you moan as he hits your g spot and he curses under his breath.

your hand comes up to rest on the wall behind him as you meet each other half way, hitting a spot deep inside you that has you moaning his name loud enough for anyone to hear. you hope to god your next door neighbors are out.

he presses his lips to yours and you know its to get you to stop being so loud - it makes your toes curl in pleasure. then his thumb snakes its way to your lips, his grin widening when your lips immediately part and suck on the finger, humming around it as your hand rests on his neck, the other over his abs as you bounce.

"so pretty like this, y/n." he leans up, then, sitting up more and changing the angle, making you gasp with a moan as his hand snakes around your waist, pulling you closer to his face with the hand on your face. he pulls his thumb from your mouth with a light pop, your legs barely riding him at your proximity, instead steady on his hips, his cock warm and stretching you. "do you think you'd look pretty under me?" he asks. you swallow, moving your hips again and sliding on his cock, movements making you stare at him, pleasure building.

"i think you would." he whispers, hand still on your neck. you whimper a bit, sliding off of him, allowing him to climb over you, kissing you soundly before pulling you to the edge of your bed, legs hanging off as he stands in front of you. lifting one leg, he kisses your knee and holds it up as he teases your slit with his cock before sliding into you again, causing you to let out a loud moan, his own melding with yours.

your eyes roll back at the new angle, legs shaking as his fingers dig into your thigh. “wanna see your f-face when i make you cum.“ he mutters, hand rising to thumb your lip, dragging your bottom lip down.

"you think you're gonna make me cum?" you bite, knowing no man you've been with has been able to.

you watch as his eyes admire the half-lids of your eyes, the blissed, fucked-out look on your face. your chest is littered in blossoming hickes, varying from pink to dark red and slightly purple already.

he says nothing in response to you, but pulls your leg further open, spitting down onto your cunt, making you moan lightly, the action being terribly sexy. his thumb finds your clit and starts to rub perfectly in counteraction to his thrusts, his lips finding your nipple.

you gasp in pleasure, panting as you start to wonder if he really is going to make you cum. then his thumb rubs circles on your clit and as he presses lightly, you can’t hold off any longer. “fuck,” you hiss as you hit your peak, your orgasm making your legs shake. you can’t help it, gasping and bucking your hips as you clench against his cock in bliss, your orgasm causing you to tug his hair in ecstasy. “so pretty.” he mutters against your neck, pressing kisses to it as you’re moaning and arching your back. "so good, cumming for me." he says cockily. you're panting as you whisper, "shut up," his hips still pounding into yours.

“god, you're such a sweet talker.” he mutters sarcastically as you look at him desperately, his eyes fall shut in bliss, a deep groan leaving his lips, you can tell he's close.

"and you're such a gentleman." you jest back, pulling him closer by his shoulders, eyes shutting in bliss. he hums, strokes getting sloppier, "i let you cum first, didn't i?" he counters.

you huff a laugh, something in your heart twinging in affection. you kiss him so you don't say something stupid, moving your hips with his. a few strokes and he's pulling you closer to him by your back, whimpering into your mouth, “y/n, fuck.” beautiful moans fall from his cherry colored lips as he cums, and you just stare at him in awe, surprised by how hot it is as he says your name. he rides his high and then falls off of you, onto the mattress between you and the wall.

"hey," he says after a few moments of you both catching your breaths, your hands overlapping on your stomach but not nearly holding hands. it makes you feel warm in a weird way. excited, nervous.

"what?" you ask, turning to stare into his eyes. he smirks, "you think we woke up the downstairs neighbors?" he whispers, eyes alight with tease.

you shove him, smothering him with a pillow while he laughs, pulling you onto him.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @sft-core @clownsloveyou @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @kait16xo @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs @leighjaenikhowell @groovybimbo @deepestofwaters @unfortu-nate-ly @sassy-uris @loverloserrr @hauntingkaspbrak @soph-ec @hockslutter @babytortie @decafcoffeew

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough smut #losers club x reader #losers club smut

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sscoutregimentss · 3 years

Text

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

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atlabeth · 3 years

Text

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

#sokka x reader #sokka x you #sokka x y/n #sokka fic #atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender fic #avatar x reader #reader insert #sadie writes

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kooktrash · 3 years

Note

Mafia!jimin where he caught yn trying to leave him in the morning bcs of his rival threatened her to kill her family if she didn't.

13. "Please dont leave me." And 17. "Are you upset with me?" Please :3

hdjhdjj

Love Surrender

summary: your relationship with Jimin had always felt like it was on bothered time, but you were too scared to tell him.

warning(s):

- You had always questioned what drove you to be with Jimin. He lied to you, did awful things to others, and wasn’t trustworthy. You always wondered if it was fear that you stayed with him, or love. But you couldn’t wrap your head around loving someone who couldn’t tell you who he really was. It took an entire year for him to tell you what he did for a living. That was one of the first lies he told to you. The second, was that he’d always protect you and your family no matter what.

But now you understood that it wasn’t possible. Because even though he had all these connections with big scary people, there was always someone who was going to find their way around his security. He tried his hardest to always make you feel safe, and you thanked him for that. Because on the days where you lived paycheck to paycheck or your car would break down, he was always there to pick you up. He treated you like you were his world, and he’d tell you that every day that you almost believed it.

And if it wasn’t for last night, you could’ve seriously pictured spending the rest of your life with him.

- “Y/n,” it was late. You wiped at the sticky bar top trying your hardest to hurry up. It was just your manager and you, and he loved to leave early. “You don’t mind closing by yourself tonight, right? I have to get my kids to bed already, the babysitter’s leaving soon.”

“That’s fine, I’ll make sure to lock up,” you had told him. You locked up the restaurant on your own many times, it wasn’t hard and almost everything had been done anyway. You’d finish cleaning up and then you’d text Jimin telling him you’ll be home soon.

The glass in your hands almost slipped at the sound of the door opening. You looked up, placing the cut down as you noticed the group of men walking in. Pushing your loose strands behind your ear, you frowned apologetically, “Hello, I am so sorry but we are closed for the night. The cook already left.” They ignored you, locking the door and pulling the blinds down. You found yourself taking a step back, one of them smiled at you, “You must be Y/n I’ve heard so much about.”

“Who are you?” With brows furrowed you waited, scooting to the side where your phone was put away in a drawer. “Consider me,” the man pushed for a moment, “A friend of Jimin’s. You can call me Suga.”

You could hear buzzing coming from the drawer and he smiled, “That must be him. Find the phone.”

You made a move to run but one of the guys gripped your arm. He clicked his tongue shaking his finger at you, “That’s not how you treat company now is it?”

“What do you want?” You asked trying to push against the restraints of the man’s grip. He smiled warmly, “Well you see, I don’t have any problem with you Y/n. You seem like a smart and hardworking girl, so why you’re with him? I will never understand. But that is not why I’m here.”

“The reason why I am here is because, I am tired of seeing pretty girls like yourself get hurt by men like Jimin.” He took a step closer to you. “What does that have to do with you?” You spat out, wincing as he lifted his hand to you.

Pushing your hair back he smiled, “Well let’s just say someone I hold dearly was in your position once upon a time.”

“So I want you to understand that my problem is not with you,” Suga said reaching into the inside pocket of his blazer, a picture of you with your sister and father, “Or with them. And unless you want to see them get hurt, I advise you to leave Jimin. For your own good that is.”

- You didn’t return home last night. It had left Jimin up majority of the night, your text for reassurance doing anything but that. “She’s not back yet,” he huffed looking to Jungkook as the two waited, “She won’t even answer my text.”

“She said she was sleeping over at Yuna’s, relax she’s fine,” Jungkook tried telling his friend. Jimin only shook his head, pacing back and forth, “I know but...no she’s fine. She has to be. She’d tell me if she was in trouble, right?”

“Yes, she would,” Jungkook sighed standing up, “So why don’t you get some sleep. You’re looking sort of psycho right now.”

The sun hadn’t even fully come up when you arrived home. You spent the night at your dad’s house, fixing up your room that had been used for storage. Your sister and him bombarded you with questions left and right, asking why you were leaving Jimin. They never understand the kind of people Jimin knew, or that you wanted to make sure your family was safe over being with who you loved.

Jimin was passed out on the couch, still in a suit and a few empty glasses scattered on the coffee table. You were as quiet as a mouse, trying to hurry into your bedroom to get your things. You didn’t want him to see you. He’d try and make you stay or ask why you were leaving. You hoped you could just go, not have to listen to his promises, not feeling like a burden to him.

You flickered the light to your bedroom on. Going into the closet and pulling a chair up. You stood on it, reaching a high shelf to pull your old duffel bag out. You hadn’t used the worn out bag since you first moved in. Not even when you’d go on vacation with Jimin, he’d buy you suitcases from high-end brands instead. You were leaving him, but you were only taking what you came with.

You threw the bag on the bed, quickly opening your drawers and pulling out what you could remember. A lot had changed since you moved in with him, but you could still remember your worn out things from the luxurious things he’d buy you. You shoved your laptop in, not caring much as you put shoes and clothes and everything you could think of.

“What do you think you are doing?” You could feel your heart drop, not wanting to turn around and face the reality. Jimin took a cautionary step toward you, heart racing as he got a closer look at what you were doing.

“Um, Yuna and I are spending the weekend at a spa, I forgot to tell you?” You lied, clearing your throat. You could see the way he pressed his teeth tightly, eyes narrowed down on your belongings as you tried blocking them. “Are you trying to lie to me right now? Right to my face?” He asked pulling out your old slippers from the bag, “What. Are. You. Doing?”

“I already told yo—I just gotta go for a little bit,” you bit your lip, “Jimin stop it.” You reached for the things he pulled out of your bag. “You’re leaving me aren’t you?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“Jimin I—“

“Why?” He asked, suddenly pushing your bag onto the floor, a crack being heard from your laptop hitting the ground, “And don’t fucking lie to me.”

“I just have to go okay? I have to go, please just understand and give me space,” you reached for your things with shaky hands. He grabbed your arm, pulling you toward him, “I don’t understand though. Tell me what’s going on. Are you in trouble? I can help you. Just tell me what it is. Is it money? Is your dad in the hospital again? I’ll pay the bill don’t worry about it baby, okay? Is it your sister—“

“No! I just, I need space okay? I don’t think I can do this anymore—“ “Y/n!” His body trembled, “Listen to me. What is going on? You can’t just leave me like this and not tell me why. You can’t just leave me. Please,” he reached for your hand pulling it to his chest, “Please don’t leave me. Whatever it is we can figure it out together, just like we have for the last four years.”

“Jimin I—“ he dropped down to his knees, arms wrapping around your waist, “No. Please Y/n. Please don’t leave me.”

“You don’t understand,” you could feel a tear slip from your eye as he planted soft kisses on your hand repeatedly, “I have to.”

“Why?” He shouted, eyes growing red, “Why do you have to leave me? Am I not enough for you? I’ve tried to give you everything, and I’m not asking for anything back but for you to love me. Do you not love me?”

“Jimin, he’s going to come after my family if I stay with you,” you finally said. He sniffled, looking at you with a cold expression slowly raising to his feet, “What did you just say?”

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Please just let me go,” you sighed but he gripped your shoulders roughly, “Who is he?”

“Jimin, you’ll only make it worse. You can’t always protect me,” you argued but he shook his head. “Who the fuck was it?”

“Some guy named Suga.”

“Look at me,” he held your face in his hands, “Unpack your things, right now baby. You’re not going anywhere, I won’t let you. Let me take care of him okay? I’m sorry for putting you in this.”

“Bu—“ “I’ve got it baby, don’t worry.”

“Are you upset with me?” You asked as the pad of his thumb wipe: a tear away, “I’m sorry.”

“No baby,” he kissed you lightly, “Of course not. But if you try leaving me again, I will be.”

::.

IM SORRY BABSHDJSKDHKSNDHSJSNSHSJKSD. I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE MAFIA LIKE WHAT EVEN HAPPENS NEXT 😭😭😭

#kpop #park jimin #min yoongi #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #kim seokjin #jung hoseok #kim namjoon #bts #bts Drabble #kooktrash requests #Suga

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