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Little jockey

(Source)

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I'm in a weird spot with a friend. So right now it's at the point where everything feels weird and fake. I'm not feeling a huge urge to talk about it me and this friend of mine used to be tight and talk a lot everyday and now everythings dying down, I don't even see her the same anymore because the way she's so indifferent which I normally wouldn't make much of it and leave it alone but me and her were friends and as I said we were tight like talking everyday, we were each other's go to for a little fun when we see each other at work or I know I did. And honestly I still smile when I think back to those good days and I mean they were GOOD days I stayed smiling and playing around with her and she was too, it was straight fun like everything was unserious with and such a breath of fresh air. It'd be so fun and playful it was damn near flirting and this was going on for months, and I told her about that and she said it wasn't, she said she's like that with her friends which I do believe bc she's deff a flirt, I'd say she's a player IMHO. And this leads to my other point because I think she's sneaky with this friendly and caring person act, but maybe she just acts this way with me. There's a few things bothering me about her. One, was when I opened up to her that I have a crush on her, which wasn't in the best way idk how you normal ass people would do it (I think next time ima ask the girl if she has a crush on me just so I know if there's something or not), and the timing wasn't great, I was very sloppy in all honesty, and if I could have stopped myself back then I would and went to sleep instead lol. Well when I opened up to her it was over text, she screen recorded it bc it tells you that on snapchat where it took place, which felt like a breach in trust. I don't know what she's gonna do with that or show it too, and I just don't like that she did that because I wrote that to her for her and only her. And just so everyone knows I didn't write anything awful, it was just embarrassing more than anything else because I let emotions take over and I'm an adult I should be more mature. And I still don't know what she did with it. Like on a scale of 1 through 10 it was a 4/10 it wasn't so bad all things considered imo. But I really can't stress enough how much it bothered me when I saw she screen recorded. I screen recorded in return idfk why I thought I should too in case she makes things seem worse than they really are, if worse comes to worse I can shut down everything with showing whoever I need to show the recording. Thankfully it's not going there. You know what's crazy too bro is that she's not even my girl bruh. These aren't even problems I'd have with my girl but still it's just like wtf? How did we get here we were solid as hell we were tight dude. I hope it wasn't just bc of that, we both said sorry to each other but idk why she said sorry because she did not need to say sorry to me it was on me to apologize which I did. I just wanna be friends again man. I want things to go back to normal when things were on a high note. When shit was simple and easy and light. Now it's all these excuses that she can't come to the gym but when our other friend said he's gonna show up with us she manages to finally show up and that day I actually couldn't (that timing amirite) and our friend didn't show up anyway but it made me think like you have all these excuses but not anymore? You just don't wanna hang out with me anymore? I'm feeling hurt and feeling inadequate by that as if I'm not worth going to the gym with. I feel like she wanted me to know that.. and being inconsiderate of how id feel and like everything fucking sucks now I miss how it was.

We did have bad times at the gym bc waking up at such an early time didn't always allow me to be in the greatest of moods not that I was rude or took it out on her but i know it prob sucked those days but I did try to keep positive. When she tells me what's wrong bro I don't even know how to answer bc I remember when she recorded what I said it hurt the friendship. And everything going unsaid is also hurting the friendship and it's like she doesn't care. Like yeah sure I'm sure if I had everyone as my friend I'd be indifferent too. I'm honestly pissed off. And the same friend who I mentioned at the gym part well I opened up to him about that a little he said I should try talking to her and he also said he noticed we used to be tight and now it's weird.

Honestly this whole scenario sucks. I hope this gets better but I know it won't. I predicted this would happen too months back when we first became friends and dammit I was right it seems. Writing this out has done nothing to improve reality.

[zombies-aliens]

[zombies-aliens]

[zombies-aliens]

its like you dont even want to sell your life to a corporation

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[zombies-aliens]

“Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues’ say ‘I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.’ Positive self talk.”

— Horactio Jones

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[zombies-aliens]

[zombies-aliens]

“You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having you wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.”

— Emery Allen

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Cat enjoying beach

(Source)

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“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”

— Juliette Lewis

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Astrology observations

⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱ :⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊╌──┈⊰ :

I have collected and put some of my notes together to share here with everyone. I hope they’re relatable or you find them interesting.

I have Pluto in the 3rd house and am always fidgeting with my fingers and picking at my lips. It’s a habit that won’t stop help!!!

Virgo rising talk too loudly and they don’t realise it. They have a problem of ghosting people that want to have one on one conversation with them thus being called rude or snobbish

Virgo risings are overly sexualised and it’s usually with random people that they never expected they’ll sleep with. They also can’t make eye contact with people when talking

Had a classmate with Mercury in Aquarius he wrote notes very fast. We liked to copy his notes and he didn’t make grammatical errors

Juno in Aquarius might have a dislike for marriage or traditional relationships.

It’s so often talked about how Pisces are delusional since they’re ruled by Neptune. But, actually Leo is the most delusional since they’re exalted in Neptune. (Tell me I’m wrong.)

Sagittarius moons are always passionate about some cause related to society eg. politics, lgbtq+ etc.

Sun in the 11th house probably don’t like to expose themselves publicly, that’s why they tend to make friends online. (12th house sun can be this way too.)

9th house stellium can indicate not relating to their birthplace or where they were raised.

Saturn in Gemini = your thoughts are holding you back.

Saturn in Leo = your ego is holding you back.

Saturn in Scorpio = your secrets are holding you back.

Mars in Aquarius have explosive tempers, remember that Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the unstable planet par excellence.

Capricorn’s love language is all but touch. Most of them don’t like much physical contact.

Lilith square sun is a common placement in those people with abusive fathers/deeply wounded ego.

Mars conjuct MC or in the 10th house can experience others being intimidated by them for no reason. And others can get jealous whenever they achieve anything.

Opposite/sister sign ascendants can actually look strikingly similar in terms of physical appearance. (I.e; Capricorn rising and Cancer risings)

Capricorns can repress their emotions because every time they express their emotions they are antagonized. People will find a way to blame them for feeling-someway, somehow. Cancer is in their 7th-house of open enemies.

Aries moons can be very defensive. Any Aries placements seem to be overly self protective.

Lilith in the 2nd house can be an over indulgent placement.

Pisces moons have soft-spoken voices.

Chart ruler in 1st people are so in control of their own lives. I’ve always considered this a “manifestation” placement.

Chiron in the 11th house can have difficulty making friends.

Mercury in the 12th house can easily manifest whatever they speak.

Ruler of the 11th and the 5th house in the 3rd makes for someone who can easily imitate other peoples voices.

Mercury in 1st house say things that are totally out of concept. They tend to talk about themselves a lot too. (Mercury= communication and 1H= self)

Saturn in the 5th house likes historical genres, movies or documentaries.

The first born in the family can often share the same moon sign as one their parents.

Mercury dominant like the English subject and are good at dictations

The color pink has a strong connection to lunar energy. Moon in the 1st house, Cancer rising, or Cancer placements can like a lot of pink.

Gemini moons have some of the best sense of humor. They’re very witty and creative.

Pluto or Uranus in the 4th house can indicate feeling like the “black sheep” of the family.

The house your moon is in can show what area of life is the most unstable or changeable for you.

Moon in Pisces is the most sensitive placement.

I know many Aquarius moons who were all into photography or film at some point in their lives, tech seems to be a hobby of theirs and they are very tech savvy.

Those are all of my observations! please comment on any you related to or are curious about, I’d love to read them. Bye for now.

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#CancerZodiac you must be more forgiving of your friends/loved ones. Stop acting unforgiving when forgiving is what you do best.

#cancer zodiac #astrology #also a note to self