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atlafan · 4 years

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Take it Slow - Part Fifty-Six

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Smut and Fluff.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

A couple of weeks had gone by, and you were feeling a lot better. You and Harry hadn’t tried doing it from behind again, and you both were fine with it. When you truly felt ready he knew you’d tell him. You had been getting up early almost every day to go to the gym, and you felt like it really gave you the energy you needed to get through the day.

Harry had taken the pictures of Louis proposing to Eleanor, and she of course said yes. It was an extremely beautiful moment that he genuinely was happy to be a part of. You had surprised him with an evening in for Valentine’s Day. He came home from work and there were rose pedals everywhere. You had bought a skimpy silk robe, and you both ate chocolate covered strawberries and made love in the kitchen.

You’d be meeting your mom at Bernie and Phil’s this weekend to shop for dining room furniture. You were excited to finally set up that area. Once it was done you’d be able to plan a house warming party. You and Harry were coming back from grocery shopping when Michael, the desk attendant, called out to the two of you.

“Mr. and Mrs. Styles, you both have packages.” You and Harry walk over to him. A smile creeping on his face on the thought of you being called Mrs. Styles.

“Oh, Michael.” You giggle. “We’re not married.” Harry’s smile fades.

“My apologies…guess that’s why this says Y/F/N Y/L/N on here.” He hands you the package. “Here you are Mr. Styles.” He hands Harry his.

“Thanks.”

“Do you need help bringing anything up?” Before you can answer, Harry cuts you off.

“Think we can manage, mate, thanks.” You both go into the elevator. “These are from the same address.”

“They’re from Lou.”

“Oh! What do you think’s in them?”

“No idea.”

You both get into the apartment, and once all the groceries are put away you open the boxes.

“Oh, he’s so cute.” Harry says. “Look.” He shows you a framed picture of the two of them and a shirt that says Best Man Mate on it.”

“He wants you to be his best man?! Oh my god, that is cute.” Harry feels tears prick at his eyes.

“I’m so honored, honestly. This is such a nice picture of us too.”

“Your hair so long.”

“I know, it was forever ago.” He smiles. “Open yours.” You tear it open.

Inside was a note and t-shirt. The note said: I know we’ve only known each other a short while, but I’d be honored to have you in my wedding party. You’re important to Harry, Harry’s important to Louis, so you’re important to us too. You were surprised, but delighted. The shirt said Bridesmaid on it.

“How sweet! Let’s call them to accept.”

“Okay.” He takes his phone out and puts in on speaker.

“Oi! How’s my favorite lad doin’?”

“Good! You’re on speaker just FYI.”

“Oh, so I shouldn’t say how lovely I think your fat ass is?” You burst out laughing. “Hi Y/N!”

“Hi Louis, is El with you?”

“Yeah, lemme get her. El! Harry and Y/N are on the phone!”

“Oh! Hi guys!”

“We got your packages.” Harry says.

“And we both happily accept.”

“Oh wonderful! I didn’t know if it would be weird to ask you to be in the party or not. I sent one to Sarah too since Lou asked Niall to be a groomsman.”

“Not weird at all! I’m honored.”

“Loved the picture of us, mate.”

“That was all El!”

After talking a little while longer, Harry takes the phone to catch up with Louis privately. You get some homework done while they talk. You hear Harry giggling every few minutes, and then you hear a giant belly laugh come from the loft. You look up and see him wiping away tears. He hangs up and comes down the stairs and sits next to you.

“He’s so fuckin’ funny.”

“What he say?”

“Nothin’ in particular, he’s just so quick.” You hum in agreement. “Workin’ on homework, baby?”

“Mhm, almost done though. Just responding to some people’s posts.” He watches you type quickly.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Type so fast?” He starts laughing.

“I don’t know.” You start laughing too. “Let me just finish this up, okay? I’m telling this person how much I agree with them.” You roll your eyes.

“Definitely don’t miss that about school.”You finish up your responses and close your laptop with a sigh. “What time are we meetin’ your mum tomorrow?”

“Um like eleven I think. We’ll wanna leave here around ten to get there on time.”

“Alrighty.” He looks at you. “Hey, come sit on my lap.”

He spreads his legs and stretches out on the sofa while you crawl into his lap. You rest your head against his neck. You enjoyed your lazy days together.

“Downstairs earlier, you laughed when that guy called you Mrs. Styles.”

“You know his name is Michael. And I simply giggled because it made me nervous.”

“Why’d it make you nervous?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug.

“You know that’ll be your last name someday.” You scoff at him. “What?”

“Who said I’ll be taking your last name if we get married?” You play with the curls on the nape of his neck.

“When.” Your cheeks blush and you feel butterflies soar through your body.

“Alright, when.”

“You don’t want my last name?” He pouts.

“S’not that I don’t…what if I go for my PhD someday? I’m the one doing the work, why should you get the credit?” You laugh. “I’d probably hyphenate it…maybe. I don’t know, is this something we need to discuss? Even if I didn’t legally take it I’m sure plenty of people would refer to me as Mrs. Styles.”

“I just think it has a nice ring to it.” He smirks.

“You act like we’re already engaged, babe. We’re a ways away from that, don’t you think?”

“I suppose.” He nods. “Am I gonna have to like check in with your dad before I do anythin’? You know, when the time comes.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate it, but you certainly don’t need his permission, I’d be the one marrying you, not him.”

“What kind of wedding would you want?”

“Where’s all this coming from?” You giggle.

“Talkin’ t’Lou. Him and El literally just got engaged and they already have all these plans in motion.”

“Well, they’ve been together a long time right? I’m sure there are things they’ve thought about before.”

“Right, so I’m curious to know what you’d want.”

“It’s not just about me.” You kiss him on the cheek. “But I suppose an early fall wedding would be nice. Like late September? Some of the leaves have started changing, it’s still warm, but we wouldn’t be sweating. I’d want it to be at a hotel with an outside space for the ceremony. I’m not really into the whole reception is at a barn thirty minutes from the hotel so catch this shuttle at this specific time thing. I’d want it all in one place.”

“You don’t want to be married at a temple?”

“Well…I don’t think we could because you’re not Jewish. I’d want my cantor there maybe to bless us, but I’d be just as happy having a friend officiate. It doesn’t need to be religious.” You shrug.

“Fall weddings are less expensive too. So I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah! You know my style is pretty simple, so I think if things looked clean and elegant I’d be fine with whatever theme. I’d want to plan everything myself though, like with you only. I hate when there’s too many cooks in the kitchen.”

“Agreed. It’s for us, no one else should stick their nose in.”

“Exactly.”

“What kind of dress do you think you’d get?”

“No idea.”

“Really? I thought girls thought about that all the time.”

“I think it’s better to not have an idea and just go in with an open mind. I watch these people on Say Yes to the Dress and it’s exhausting.” You think for a moment. “I certainly know what I wouldn’t want. I know my taste well enough. I’d want something with lace probably.”

“Love when you wear lace.”

“What kind of suit would you want?”

“Somethin’ eccentric. I hate plain black suits. Somethin’ with a pattern maybe? A pop of color?”

“Anything you wear would look good.” You nuzzle your nose to his and he smiles.

“You’re cute.”

“No, you’re cute.” You both giggle. He presses his soft lips to yours for a tender kiss.

You lightly lace your fingers through his hair as you open your mouth for him. He licks into your mouth, getting a good taste of you. He moves his mouth, nipping at your jaw and then your neck.

“Don’t leave any marks, I don’t want my mom to see.” You roll your hips down on him.

“You can just wear a scarf.” He says against your neck.

“Please, bite me anywhere else.”

“Lift your shirt.” You take your shirt off. “Bra too.” You reach behind and unclasp it, letting it fall off your shoulders. Harry gets it the rest of the way off you.

His lips connect to one of your nipples. He sucks on it lightly at first, and then with more vigor, really getting his teeth into your skin. You let out a gasp. It felt good, too good. The way he would swirl his tongue around your pebbling nipple while also twisting your piercing with his teeth was incredible.

“Fuck.” Your head rolls back. He lets it go with a popping noise. He gazes at it while it turns a dark purple. He smiles and looks up at you.

“Y’like that, dontcha?”

“Mhm.” You smirk. “Let me do it to you. I’ve never sucked on your nipples before.”

“Mine are all hairy.”

“Not really. You manscape pretty nicely actually. I appreciate it.”

“You appreciate it down under.”

“True, if you had a full bush I would just not be able to suck you off.” You both laugh. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he helps you take it off. “M’gonna give you a good one.”

“Please, be my guest.”

You lean down and kiss one of his nipples. You start sucking on it, and he chuckles.

“What?”

“Just feels weird, keep goin’.”

You continue with your biting and sucking. You feel him raise his hips to yours, and you can feel how hard he is against you. You kiss down his chest, and torso, and lower stomach. He knew he was in for a treat. You undid the button on the top of his jeans and slowly undid the zipper. He lifted his hips so you could pull down his pants just slightly. You reach inside his boxers and pull out your not so little friend.

You kiss your way up from the base to the shaft and then to his tip. Your lips were already swollen, but you didn’t care. Harry loved the way you looked. His hands lightly graze through your hair, and you kiss his tip again. You open your mouth and lick up his shaft.

“Jesus.” He says through gritted teeth.

You lick up up and down a couple more times, and then make eye contact with him as you take him into your mouth. He bites his bottom lip as you work your way down. You close your eyes as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head up and down on him.

“Mm, baby, feels so good.” His head falls back.

Your hands tug his boxers down his hips so you can cup his balls. He bucks up further down your throat. You groan against him, feeling yourself getting wet from pleasuring him.

“Shit.” He pulls your head off him.

“What?” You say trying to catch your breath.

“Wanna be able to fuck you, love.”

“Oh.” Your cheeks flush. He pulls your face to his to kiss him. He bites down on your bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth. You groan again feeling the ache in your lower stomach grow.

“Do you want it here, or in the bedroom?” He says against your lips.

“Bedroom.”

“Alright, up we go.”

He holds onto you as he stands up, you wrap your legs around him. He steps out of his pants and boxers, leaving them behind in the living room, as he carries you into the bedroom. He lays you down, and reaches for your leggings, tugging them and your panties off in one motion. You part your legs for him, and he smirks when he sees that you’re glistening. You reach a hand down and rub on your clit, which was throbbing at this point. He stands there for a moment, just watching you play with yourself. It’s when you let out a soft moan that makes him get on the bed, and he moves your hand away.

“Please, allow me.” You giggle.

His fingers trace over your folds lightly, collecting all the wetness. He moves up towards your clit and your back arches slightly. He was being soft and slow, and it was turning you on so much. Light touches, like you could only just barely feel him. It was enough to drive you over the edge. He slips his middle and index finger inside you while his thumb stays on your clit. You gasp as he curls his fingers up, reaching that spot inside. Your walls tighten around his fingers, and loves how soft and velvety you are. Your hands clutch at the blankets. You grind your hips against his hand. Your head was far back in the pillow. Sweat was starting to form at your brow, and you were panting.

“Come for me baby, go on, you know you want to.”

“Fuck.”

Your back fully leaves the mattress as you release onto his fingers. He doesn’t let up though, he pumps in and out of you faster, and you clutch his bicep.

“Shit, Harry!”

“Gonna make ya come over and over, angel.”

“Fuck, shit, oh, OH!” You release again, and he retracts his fingers from you. You were drenched, absolutely fucking soaked. He sucks his fingers into his mouth, and moves to hover over you.

“Ready f’me?”

“God, yes.”

He lines himself up with you and pushes inside. You both moan at the delicious contact. You wrap your legs around his waist as he begins to move. He pushes some hair away from your face and your hands move to his broad shoulders.

“So beautiful.” He kisses you, and your tongues collide.

Your hands rake down his back, and your nails find themselves sinking into his ass. He groans into your neck. He was making you moan and pant like never before, you weren’t sure what it was about tonight.

“Harry.” You whimper when you feel him bottom out. You bite down on his earlobe.

One of his hands moves up to caress your breast, and he kneads it. He was really paying attention to your entire body tonight, you couldn’t get enough.

“You feel so good, Harry.” You moan. “Your dick is so fucking big.” You tighten around him.

“Like the way I take care of ya, baby girl?”

“Fuck, yes.” Your hands move to his hair and you tug at his roots.

“Shit.” You tug on him harder how you know he likes.

“Harry, I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, I’m gonna comeeee.” You moan loudly into his ear as your third release comes.

His thrusts become sloppy and quick as his own release comes. He grabs one of your hands to hold as his come spurts inside of you.

“Oh god.” You say as you feel it fill you up.

He pulls out of you slowly, and he collapses on top of you. Your hands play with his hair as you both catch your breath. You feel his come start to drip out of you and you scrunch your face. He kisses your cheek before he gets up to use the bathroom.

“What do you feel like eatin’ f’dinner?” He asks when he comes back out.

“Pizza?”

“I’ll pop it in the oven.” He puts the robe that you bought for him on and leaves the room.

You get up and use the bathroom and put your own robe on, meeting him in the kitchen. You wrap your arms around him, and hug his back to your chest.

“Hi baby.” He says.

“That was incredible.” He chuckles and turns around to face you.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe after dinner we could do it again?” He kisses the top of your head.

“It would be my pleasure, love.”

Harry woke up cuddled in your arms around 8:30 when your alarm rudely woke him up. Sometimes he wished you weren’t so punctual. He didn’t want you to end the warm embrace you had around him. But he soon felt a kiss to his cheek, and you move away from him. He turns over watches you stretch and yawn. You rub the sleep away from your eyes before you get up to shuffle into the bathroom. He moves to the middle of the bed where you were just laying, just to bask in your warmth for a moment longer. Your pillow always smelt the same as your shampoo; apples and cinnamon. He was grateful that your mom wanted to buy the two of you some furniture, he just wasn’t thrilled to be sharing you today.

“Baby?” You say, voice still thick with sleep, after you come back from the bathroom.

“Hm?”

“Time to get up, my doll.” You rub your eyes again and move to the dresser to grab some clothes.

He popped up at the new term of endearment. You had never called him that before, and he wondered where it came from from. He wondered who else, if anyone, got to a point with you where you’d call them that. He flips the covers back and gets up.

“M’gonna turn the lights on now.” You say as he gives you a kiss to your temple, and goes into the bathroom.

You flip the lights on and grab a pair of black jeans from your dresser. You put on a baby blue sweater and throw your hair up in a high pony. You put on some fuzzy socks, and go into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. You think oatmeal is a good idea for today, something nice and warm.

Harry comes into the kitchen just as you’re pouring the hot water over two bowls of oatmeal. He smiles and thanks you for the breakfast. You both sit at the island and scroll through your phones, neither of you really awake to talk yet. You both sip on some coffee, and you get an incoming call from Rachel.

“Hey girly.” You say.

“Hey! Do you have plans next weekend?”

“Um….” You look over at Harry. “I don’t think so, why?”

“Planning a girl’s night out for Sarah’s birthday.”

“Oh hell yeah! She doesn’t have plans with Niall?”

“They’re doing something Friday night. Figured we could all get together Saturday. Go to the club, have a sleepover after. She said she’s into it.”

“Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes.” You look at Harry again who’s looking at you. “Um, one second.” You put your hand over the speaker. “Harry, next weekend would you mind if I went out with the girls for Sarah’s birthday? Rachel wants to have a sleepover at their place.”

“Which night?”

“Saturday.”

“Sure.” He shrugs. You didn’t need to ask his permission, but he still appreciated the consideration.

“Okay, yeah, that definitely works.”

“Please don’t tell me you just asked Harry if you could come out to play like he’s your father.” She groans.

“You know I never asked my dad for permission for something in my entire life.” You smirk. Harry raises an eyebrow at you.

“True, you’re very good at telling someone you’re doing something instead of asking.” She laughs. “Cool, this’ll be so much fun. We should go to Pinz, they have the best dance floor.”

“Agreed.” Harry taps you on the shoulder. “What?”

“Ask her about when she wants to see Mariah.”

“Harry wants to know if you still want to get together with Mariah.”

“Definitely! We’ve been texting a lot. I think we’re both nervous to make a move for some reason.”

“Maybe we could do that Friday night then.”

“Works for me, I’m wide open.”

“Alright, I’ll have Harry set it all up since he’s been so adamant about it.” You giggle. “Talk to you soon, bye.” You hang up the phone and look at the time. “We should head out.”

“Okay.”

You and Harry head down to the lobby, hand in hand. Michael gives you a warm smile and you give him a little wave. Harry furrows his brows as you walk down to his car.

“The Weeknd has some new singles out, do you mind if I play them?”

“Go for it. When does the album come out?”

“March I think, so really soon.”

“Would you ever want to see him in concert?” Your jaw drops.

“Um, yeah. His tickets are on sale already, but I’m such snob I’d wanna be up close. The tickets at the Garden are way too expensive.”

“Hm.”

“Don’t, we’re not paying an arm and a leg for something so silly.”

“So you won’t be buyin’ them yourself then?”

“No.” You sigh. “My trip is going to set me back a bit. It’s too bad too, he’s coming in July. I love a summer concert.”

Harry already bought tickets for the two of you of course. The second he saw them go on sale he bought two seats relatively close to the stage. Your birthday was in August, he thought it would be a fun, early present. He couldn’t wait to give them to you once they came in the mail.

He watches as you listen very intently to After Hours. How you gasp when the beat picks up, and how you start laughing out of excitement.

“What?”

“This, it sounds a lot like is second to last album, I’m so excited. Heartless is really good too. God, he’s so talented. I read once that he makes music that would play in like a haunted strip club, and it just makes sense you know?” Harry chuckles.

You make it to Bernie and Phil’s and your mom is there waiting for you.

“Hi kids!” She says cheerily, giving you both a hug and a kiss. “You took measurements of the dining area?” She asks you as you walk into the store.

“Yup, got them on my phone.”

“Perfect. Now, are you two thinking square, rectangle, oh maybe round? Round is good if you’re very social. Do you want it to be more of a social space or formal?” You look up at Harry and he just shrugs at you. He truthfully doesn’t give a fuck about the shape of the table.

“Round might be nice. Let’s just look at everything and see what catches us.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry knew exactly what you were going to do. You were going to stay quiet while your mother made comments here and there. You were going to scan over every piece of furniture and make mental notes of all the pieces you liked. He watches as you’d brush your hand over tops of tables, and your fingertips would drape over certain tops of chairs. Afterwards you came up to him.

“I think a darker wood would like nice. Not black, but a nice dark brown.”

“I agree.” He says. “Show me the ones you liked best.” You take his hand and lead him around to three different options.

“Mummy, what do you think of this one?” You say pointing to a long rectangular table. “I looked at a few round ones, but you’d need stools for all of them and I just don’t think I like that.”

“I like this one a lot actually. I like the chairs that go with them too.”

“No padding on them…” Harry says, and you both look at him.

“We can buy cushions. It’s better to do that so you can replace them easier. Then you don’t have to pay to have each chair reupholstered.”

“Ah.” Harry nods.

“Do you like this one Harry?” You ask looking up at him with those big green eyes that he loves so much.

“Yeah, seems like it’ll do the job.”

“Why don’t you both sit down and see how you like it.”

You both do as she says and sit at either end of the table. The chairs were comfortable and proper. With a rug underneath, this table would be perfect in the dining area.

“It’s perfect, mumma.” Harry had never heard you refer to your mom like this either. Maybe you were just extra soft today. She kisses the top of your head.

“Then it’s yours.” You stand up and hug her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. Now, let’s go find some cushions and a rug to go with it.”

“Good idea.” Harry stifled a groan. Shopping like this practically knocked the wind out of him.

“C’mon, babe, you can pick out the cushions. Anything you want.”

Harry perks up and goes over with you and your mom to where the accessories were. Harry loved yellow, so he found some yellow cushions. You and your mom approved and found a yellow and grey patterned rug to go with them.

Your mom goes up to speak with a sales associate to get everything in order. You give your mom another hug after she pays for everything.

“How about some lunch kids? The Texas Roadhouse is just down the road.”

“Oh my god they have the best bread and butter. Up for it Harry?”

“Sure. Thanks again for everything.”

“Oh, you’re more than welcome honey.”

You all drive off to the restaurant, and get a table to sit at. You all order salads, and plenty of bread. You fill your mom in on how your class is going, and Harry tells her about his trip to Florida.

“Honey, we should go shopping next month to make sure we have some fun outfits for Aruba. God knows your Nannie is going to have the best bathing suits in the business with her.”

“Yeah!” You giggle. “It would be fun to bring some bright colored outfits down. I don’t need much though from the shopping we did last year.”

“Harry have you ever been to Aruba?”

“No, can’t say I have.” He tries to smile.

“Maybe some year we can have you come down too. Nannie’s place isn’t that big, but if we plan it out we could always see if she could switch one of her weeks with someone who has a two bedroom.”

“We could just us an air mattress.” You shrug. “The only time we spend in the room is for sleep as it is, we wouldn’t need a whole separate space.”

“I know, but it’s nice to have privacy. I could always bunk with Nannie and you two could take the pull out. Just something to think about for next year.”

“True. Would you like that next year Harry?”

“If you’re Nan’s okay with it.” He smiles.

“We can put a bug in her ear.”

“God, I can picture all the old biddies at the pool now.” Your mom laughs. “They’d go gaga over you.”

“I think Nannie would pass out seeing all the tattoos on Harry’s body though.”

“You have more than just your arms?”

“Yeah, he’s got these swallows on his collar bones, a giant butterfly here.” You point to it. “And these ferns right above his hips. And then you have that tiger on your thigh.”

“Oh right I remember you mentioning that.”

“And then he’s got a couple on his knees and ankles. They're all really cool.”

“Please don’t suede my daughter into getting one.”

“Would never dream of it.”

“Although I may get my nose pierced soon. A nice hope right here.” You touch your left nostril.

“Oh that would like nice actually. Those are really in style right now.” You nod along.

“So you were against her getting her be-“

“Harry!” You shake your head no and cough. Your mom squints at you.

“Let him finish his question.”

“Oh, I was just curious, um, because Y/N mentioned she wasn’t allowed to have her belly button pierced. So, um, you don’t mind her nose?”

“Nose piercing doesn’t get infected as easily. A naval piercing just says hello I’m open for business.”

“Jesus, mom.” You put your palm on your forehead. “Can you not be so judgey?”

“I’m not being judgey. I just think they send the wrong message is all.”

After lunch you and Harry thank your mom again for everything. All of your items will arrive in just four weeks. As you get into the car, Harry asks the obvious question.

“Wait so, your mum doesn’t know you have your naval pierced?”

“No way! She flipped when I got this fucking stud in my cartilage after I turned eighteen, no way in hell I was going to tell her about this.”

“So what do you wear on vacation?”

“Oh, I just take it out.”

“She doesn’t notice the hole from it?”

“She’s not inspecting me. I also tend to wear a one piece on family vacations. No need to be so revealing.”

“And she’s never seen a picture?”

“My Instagram is private, and I would never post anything too revealing on my Facebook.”

“Do your siblings know?”

“Erica does, but she’s the only one. I swore her to secrecy, she has hers pierced too.”

“You guys are wild.” He chuckles.

“Sometimes leaving things out is more convenient. Less of a headache. She doesn’t need to know everything about me.”

“True. Would’ve been helpful if I knew it was a secret.”

“I didn’t think it would ever come up.”

“So, when are we gettin’ that little nose of yours pierced?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I’d love to have the hoop in before I leave. Mariah said I need to get the stud done first.”

“Why don’t we go one day after work? It could be fun, I could get a new tattoo while you get it done.”

“I’d want you to hold my hand!” He chuckles.

“Alright.”

“What tattoo would you get?”

“Absolutely no idea.”

He did have an idea. He wanted to get a small sunflower where he had space on his left arm. Sunflowers were your favorite, and he wanted a tattoo for you, but he didn’t want to get anything crazy just in case.

“You’re so spontaneous, I love it. Yeah, maybe Wednesday after work?”

“I’ll make an appointment for us.” He smiles.

“I can pick out a new stud for my stomach while I’m there. I’m sick of this one.” You lift your shirt slightly to show him.

“What would get instead?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you can help me pick something out?”

“Sure.” He pats your belly and you giggle.

This weekend was a very good for you two. You were feeling happier day by day, and you knew seeing Dr. Mara consistently had something to do with it. You and Harry had been working on so many things, and you both noticed the small changes.

#harry styles #take it slow #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #come hang out in my ask box and let me know what you thought!#im really excited for sarah's birthday

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yellowlaboratory · 4 years

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GREAT chapter!!! Thank god we are getting close to a pogue reunion!!!! Any idea when we can look forward to the next chapter? (And hopefully pogue family reunited!!)

thank you so much 🥰🥰🥰 and we are getting there!! I’m really dragging y’all along for the ride, huh??? Tbh, I’m really excited to get back to writing them as well. I’ve just started on the next chapter’s draft, and there’s a few things I still need to shuffle around. I don’t want to give any promises, but I’d say either this weekend or early next week, maybe??? Maybe I’ll accidentally end up back on my old schedule lol

#obx #pltc #its my birthday this week so im not sure how that will effect my writing schedule #im also *trying* (and failing) to keep a NaNoWriMo writing schedule #but i spent 3 days last week writing absolutely nothing #but if i stick to that goal #ill have chapter 20 out asap #also im really really excited for chapter 20 theres a scene i really cant wait for yall to read #i was talking to alex and i realized that Sarah and Kiara became friends in CHAPTER 9 #that was almost 11 chapters ago????#11 weeks ago????#isnt that insane????#and we still arent at a reunion yet lolololol #and also #the fact that there are people who have read 20 CHAPTERS of this monstrosity #i am eternally grateful and also confused #i love yall for enabling my insanity ❤️

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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)

a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!

as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.

Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.

In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.

You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.

“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.

“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.

“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.

“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”

“Can I decide that too?”

“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”

“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.

“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.

“Go ahead.”

“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”

You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.

“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.

Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.

“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.

You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.

“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.

“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.

Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.

“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.

“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.

“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”

“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.

“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”

“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”

“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”

“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.

“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.

Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.

“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”

“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”

“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”

“No worries.”

“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”

“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”

“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”

“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”

“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”

“Harry, hi!”

“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.

“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.

“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.

“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.

“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”

“But what about Izzy?”

“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.

“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”

“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.

You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.

Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.

You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.

“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.

“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.

“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.

The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.

“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.

“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.

Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”

“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.

Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.

“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.

“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”

“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.

“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”

“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.

“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.

“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.

“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.

“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.

“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.

“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.

They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.

“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.

“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.

“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”

“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.

“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”

You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.

“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.

“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.

“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.

“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”

Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.

“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.

“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.

“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.

“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.

“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.

“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.

“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.

“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.

“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.

“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.

“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.

The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.

“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.

“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.

“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.

“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.

“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.

“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.

“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.

“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.

“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.

The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.

You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.

You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.

It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.

You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.

“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.

“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”

“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.

“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”

“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”

You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.

“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.

“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.

“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.

“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.

“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.

Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.

“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.

“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.

“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.

They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.

“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.

“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.

You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…

Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.

You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.

“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.

“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.

“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”

She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.

“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.

“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”

As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?

You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.

“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”

“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.

“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.

“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.

“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“

“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.

Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.

“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.

Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.

“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.

“What was all that about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”

“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.

Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.

“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”

“Oh, you have kids?”

“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.

“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”

“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”

“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”

“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.

“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”

“That’s cute.”

“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.

“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.

“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.

“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.

“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.

“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“

“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”

It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.

“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.

“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”

“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.

“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.

“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”

“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.

“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.

“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”

“So Niall sees it too, huh?”

“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”

“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.

“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”

Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.

He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.

“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”

Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.

“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”

Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.

But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…

After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.

You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.

“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.

“You too!”

“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.

“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.

You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.

Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.

When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.

“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.

“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.

“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”

“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.

“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”

“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”

“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.

Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.

“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.

Because you wanted him to kiss you.

The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.

Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.

Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.

You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.

As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.

You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.

But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.

Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.

Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.

Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.

“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”

You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.

Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!

You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”

“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.

“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.

“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.

“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.

Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two… five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?

Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.

You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.

Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.

You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.

Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.

“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”

“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”

“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.

“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”

“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.

“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”

“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.

“I don’t. Now leave.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.

“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”

“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.

“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”

“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.

“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”

Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.

It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.

You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it’s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.

Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.

Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.

In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.

“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.

“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.

“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!

“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.

“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.

“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”

“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”

“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”

Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.

“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”

You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.

“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”

“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.

“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.

“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.

“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”

“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.

Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.

Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.

Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.

The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.

Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“

You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.

And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.

You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.

“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.

“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.

“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.

Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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headheartbellarke · 3 years

Text

HOME | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon: "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff

WORDS: 2,036

SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]

As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.

“My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

“What if they hate me?” I whisper.

My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.

Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.

But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.

I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.

After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.

We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.

Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”

“If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.

He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.

A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”

“Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”

“Je vous ai manqué!”

I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.

I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.

They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.

She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”

“Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.

“Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”

She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.

We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.

“My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”

“Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.

“But I wanna know what he says!”

Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”

***

Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.

Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.

Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’

The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.

Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.

Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.

Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.

But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.

But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.

As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.

He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.

***

“Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”

I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.

“Nothing. I’m just really tired.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”

“Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”

“It’s not the ice cream, babe.”

“Okay, then, what is it?”

He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.

“I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”

He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”

I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.

I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.

“Don’t you ever say that.”

“But it’s true –”

“Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”

He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”

I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”

“Charlie…”

I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”

“Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.

“Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’

“I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”

I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”

***

jatp requests are open <3

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fatoujallovv · 3 years

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a smooch on the forehead from me and lulu before we get started 😚

I'm so so happy that I finally decided to become active here over the summer because I have made amazing friends and being here has brought so so much positivity and joy to my life 🥺💛 without all the mutuals and followers I’ve gained this year, without learning to gif and experimenting with making all types of creations, I definitely wouldn’t have made it to the point now where I can confidently say that I am working towards being the happiest I’ve ever been. thank you all so so much, I love every last one of you endlessly 💛💛💛💛

my first thank you to @luxandobscurus and @lucasotteli for becoming my very best friends this year. I can’t imagine life without our insane late night chats and your endless support, im lov u both with my entire heart you deserve only amazing things always.

next thank you to all the lovely people I met through caro’s lil discord server, the ael server, and brocsquad for being amazing lovely groups of people who have been so so fun to talk to 🥺💛💛💛 I know I'm not the best at being active in big groups but I love you all even if I don’t interact much 🥺💗

lets be friends server @dreamaur (I love you more than life itself ann never stop being your incredible self) @alwayskissmeatnight (you’re the most supportive and protective momma bear and I love being mutuals with you so so much) @kieunora (the most talented big brained queen here) @kritiquer @alterlovex @rosesunrise @demauryss @blanxkey @thegirlnooneknows5 @grey-mist-exist @saltyflowr @tawmlinsun

ael server @kieumyvus (thank you for helping this novice giffer learn the ropes and being so welcoming and willing to offer advice and help to everyone 💛💛) @womenstan (thank you for my birthday gifset I still can't believe you made it for me you’re the sweetest of all time!!) @veerledejaegers @noramachwtz @norangensft @lallemcnt @lolasluquette @lesbianfatous @soluxogobsc @bi-isa-keijser @lucakuloo

brocsquad @lieverobbe (my very first tumblr friend ily em I hope the uni life is treating you well 💛💛💛) @jensrolt (the sweetest angel fairy lady in the world thank you for blessing us with your amazing bright spirit) @kingarthurpendragons (my soulmate I love and miss you so much 🥺💗) @to-enter-polaris (most talented gif maker and sweetest soul. sarah I love you forever thank you once again for my film posters in case you haven’t heard I love them) @sonderthroughthestreets (I'll always remember how lovely you were in my first few weeks on tumblr and how excited you were that ‘something like a sunflower ellie!!!’ joined brocsquad 🥺 ily) @gucciboner @sanabakkoushd @ayarambles @thenerd10 @franboos @theflowerisblue @earthling-isa @engelkeijsers @dagcutie @welcometo-saturn

shoutout to @ffriluftslivv (my angel I adore you to the ends of the earth) @isakyaqi (I loved getting to know you better when we did our rewatch 🥺💛) @eliotts-eyes (my fellow greekling name twin! ily so much!) @misunderstoododdity @katzen-kinder @evilhersxlf @nachtumringt @lololil @mailinrichter @alcxmcrcer @lifeisevak @sunflouwermoon @germericangirl @briallenko @awake-dreamer18 for being the sweetest kindest ever I love interacting with all of you and I consider you all good friends 🥺💛💗

more spectacular funny/super cool/kind/incredibly talented people I love to see on my dash!! @alexauriant @avaceleste @lepetitepeach @lallemanting @nyttvera @zoesrobbe @tsjernobyl @sander-klaas @cash-queens @howlingsaturn @vanillalipstick66 @lux-fleur @racoons-hedgehogs-and-pixiedust @ijzermanora @jebentnietalleen @polarisrodulv @bethisneckdeep @fatoujallow @perfectsilence22

if I forgot you I'm so so sorry 🥺 I’m really dumb so if I went thru my following/followers list and saw your main but forgot that's you because I only know ur side blog or something I still love u and appreciate you so much 🥺💛 thank you all whether you made content that I loved, sent me an ask that made me smile, made me creations for my birthday, reblogged my gifsets, had a chaotic conversation with me late at night, or even if we’ve never interacted at all. I'm so so grateful to be here with you guys!!!! happy new year 💗💗💗💗💗

#whew im gettin emotional out here #I love you guys!!! sorry that some of you guys are already in 2021 I still have like ten hours and I forgot it would be too late for people #*eleven hours wow I can't even count #mutuals love #goodbye 2020 🥳

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maggotmouth · 3 years

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hillo sexthy legends !! i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !! x o x

* CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

— born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

— its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

— margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

— for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

— at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

— she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

— a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.

— she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away. it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

— after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.

— she works at summer camps coaching junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

— enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment.

— she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

— used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

— was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

— nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

— has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

— she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

— calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

— stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

— lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

— constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

— frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you, indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine.

TLDR: angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

#aaaaaaa #we back boys #irvingintro #hmu for plots bayybeyyy

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brelione · 4 years

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Dating Rafe Cameron

Mentions of drugs and sex.Also I know Rafe kind of sucks but my imaginary version of Rafe sucks significantly less than actual Rafe so dont fight me :)

This boy is so in love with you.He didn't really love anyone else,all the love he did have was just for you.

You were able to calm him down when he got really angry

He loved to hug you from behind and nuzzle his nose into your hair

Anything you wanted he got you

He bought you a lot of expensive things

Nice shirts,new bathing suits,new bras,soft sweaters

You loved to take his hoodies because of how gigantic they were on you

He purposefully bought more hoodies even though it was always hot out because he knew that you loved them

He loved to visit you at work

He was attention deprived for 19 years so he became obsessed with hugs,kisses,hickeys,cuddles and literally any attention from you

He felt really comfortable around you

Comfortable enough to complain to you about his father and feeling unloved and Sarah getting all the attention

You telling him you loved him every morning,after every hug and kiss and before you went to bed at night

He enjoyed brushing your hair for you

He gets really excited for your birthday because he gets to buy you gifts and you can't refuse them cause its your birthday

He stopped using coke because you refused to be around him when he was high

Him finding out that your uncle had used coke and got into a lethal car accident and now the thought of it make you sick

He no longer stirs up trouble with the pogues because it makes you upset

He calls you his Queen and occasionally the Love of His Life

“Rafe take out the trash!” “I'm talking to The Love My Life!I can't!” “Rafe,baby,go take out the trash.” “Okay.”

He’s the biggest simp

He knows how you like your sandwiches and brings them to your house randomly

Someone called you a whore

He beat the guy so hard that his knuckles were bruised

You like when he goes grocery shopping with you because it makes you feel safe

Forehead kisses,nose kisses,little neck kisses when you're making coffee

Your parents regularly leave for weeks at a time

He comes over to your house when they're gone

You guys don't screw around often when he’s over,you just enjoy eachothers company and do chores

Literally though.You two will listen to instrumental music as you do the dishes,vacuum the living room carpet and dust off shelves

When you’re done cleaning you’ll build a fort,order a pizza and watch whatever is popular on Netflix

Sarah and Wheezie loving you

Rafe getting jealous because his sisters literally try to steal you from him

Ward and Rose noticing the obvious difference in everything Rafe does

The biggest giveaway was Rafe being awake before noon,making himself toast and looking out the window

He tries to eat breakfast everyday because if he doesn't you always pout and talk about the importance of breakfast

“Rafe...what are you looking at?” “That’s a sandpiper! (Y/N) loves those!”He exclaimed before taking a photo of the bird on his phone

“Who the hell is (Y/N)?”

You being terrified to meet Ward and Rose

The two of them like you a lot

Rafe buying you a limited edition hardcover signed copy of your favorite book

You literally crying when he gives it to you

“Oh god-you're crying.This is good crying,right?”

Going on beach dates and seeing the pogues

Rafe doesn't even notice them,he’s too busy looking for seashells for you to add to your collection

He keeps a picture of you on his nightstand

You guys dont have sex often but when you do its actually quite gentle and full of soft kisses

He leaves small hickeys along your collar bones,neck and jawline

Him taking care of you when you get sick

For some reason you get sick a lot and he’s convinced its because you go swimming late at night when the water gets cold

“Baby,you need to stop swimming at night.” “But it's fun!” “Baby,it's making you sick.My pool is heated,you can swim in there whenever you want.” “But I like swimming in the ocean!”

He carries you in his arms like youre a child

He loves being the little spoon so he can rest his head in the crook of your neck and feel your fingers running through his hair

You being really adventurous and making him anxious

Like when you climb trees and hang from the branches

“Baby,can you please get back on the ground?”

Rafe introducing you to Topper and Kelce

Once Rafe gets off of coke Topper and Kelce follow in his tracks

Him introducing you to Topper and Kelce

“This is my Queen.” “Your Queen?” “Correct.”

Drinking wine together as you watch short horror films

Him being embarrassed when you and Sarah have a passionate conversation about the extinction of different river dolphins

“We don't even live in the amazon!” “Rafe!” “You're so inconsiderate!There are dolphins dying right now!” “Imagine if a dolphin said not to care about you cause you don't live within their line of vision!” “You can't judge a whole species you've never even met a river dolphin!” “Neither have you!” “Rafe Jacob Malcolm Cameron!” “I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'll help you rescue the dolphins.”

Rafe was never in a serious relationship until yours

This boy has a bit of separation anxiety

He’ll call you 20 minutes after you leave his house to tell you he misses you

You facetime him at night after watching a slasher film because even just having him on the phone makes you feel safer

“We should get married.” “Baby...I love you so much,I really do but its four in the morning and i'm trying to pee and im tired.” “Okay.I love you...i'll talk to you later.” “I love you too.”

After you take a crap ton of his hoodies (Which actually makes him feel appreciated and validated believe it or not) he decides he wants to steal something of yours

That ends up being one of your pillows because it smells just like your shampoo

He sleeps with that pillow and everytime you come over you’ll spray some perfume on it so it still smells like you

When you sleepover you two have to sleep in the living room because with Ward’s logic if you're in a living room you can't get pregnant

He wakes you up with kisses and makes you coffee

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x you #sarah cameron #jj maybank #kiara carrera #wheezie cameron #ward cameron #topper thornton #kelce outer banks #outer banks

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sacredslaycdd · 3 years

Text

i . alias, name. jess

ii . birthday. may 23rd

iii . zodiac sign. i'm a gemini!

iv . height. 5′4ish, emphasis on the ish

v . hobbies. writing, reading, stardew, playing games with friends

vi . favourite colour. blue, green, but soft versions, they make so happy idk why but they make me feel all fizzy like fjfhrhr, teal is also up there!!!! pretty colour 🥺

vii . favourite book(s). anything by sarah j. mass. vampire academy, errrrrm, six of crows duology.

viii . last song. writer in the dark - lorde.

ix . last film / show. greys anatomy bc i finished station 19 and needed a fix.

x . recent reads. i haven't really read anything recently bc ive been struggling to find anything to hold my attention!! but i started witches steeped in gold last night which i'm super excited about.

xi . inspiration. that's too vague for my brain to respond to. for this blog? in general? what? i'm going in general. usually it's a desire to be a part of a fandom but not having the confidence to play a canon && i can come up with oc's just like that tbh. like just gimme a fc and ill give you ten ideas.

xii . story behind url. i wanted something cool and i was like oooop fuck what's cool and well hope is part of a prophecy and prophecys are sacred right? as is the key ie dawn and slayed bc well they both slay and slayed sounded better than slays...

xiii . fun fact about me. uh?????? it's like i just forgot everything about myself ;;;; we'll go with the fact that i rly rly love doctor who??? idk man, ask me a question, im bad at this shit.

tagged by: stolen from @seesgood

tagging: @wickedlehane @pryceism @deus-ex-dawn @in-my-soul @dhampirslays @thatslayer && you!!!

#˚・` . out of slayer / ooc #dash games

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asbcblog · 3 years

Text

TOP SONGS OF 2020 WRITE UP!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6WDeuRMOV8neAhU2zd193d?si=lZ9gDIp0TsCCEOeCS7_QGw

1. I remember everything - John Prine

I was going to write an incredibly earnest and long review of this song that outlined just how much John Prine meant to me. I can’t really do it and I think this song probably says enough alone. With only a few chords he always manages to express all the little things that make love what it is, all different kinds of love. Long lasting, short moments, love with places, sounds, going places and staying home, endless family ties, and the often fragile but in the end tenable love between all human beings in the face of catastrophe. The pandemic stole a lot of things from a lot of people this year, including John Prine, but he will remain one of the greatest songwriters of all time and his songs will live on forever.

2. Dream Palette - Yves Tumor

I can’t drive but let’s pretend I’m driving, I’m in LA and it’s night time or something, my elbow’s out the window, don’t know why I’m wearing sunglasses, this song comes on the radio, I’m the coolest person alive.

3. Boylife in EU- Yung Lean

Not to repeat my review of Garden but when the chorus comes I feel like I’m on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and im screaming but this time its because of a no-deal Brexit.

4. Garden- Joseph Futak

My review was already used as part of Joe’s promo campaign and it said: “feel like im on top of a really big hill and its pouring it down with rain and I’m screaming when the drums come in x x”

5. Circle the Drain- Soccer Mommy

I like this song because I too, am often alone in my room, and I have also become obsessed with subtle breakbeats to an extent where people around me have become very bored of the subject.

6. The Brothers William Said- The Innocence Mission

I listened to this song over and over when I was travelling round London in January just after my birthday, it felt like I’d been listening to it for years, like it was in a movie I’d forgotten. It felt at the time like I was saying a lot of goodbyes, recognising that things weren’t really like they used to be.

7. On the Floor- Perfume Genius

Say it with me ladies: I CROSS OUT HIS NAME ON THE PAGE!!!!

8. Shameika- Fiona Apple

She may not believe it but I bet Fiona Apple looked tough with a riding crop.

9. Song for Our Daughter- Laura Marling

Everything about this is fantastic, mellow and bright at the same time. Every part is brought forward individually and no part of this song gets left behind. A stunning vocal from Laura Marling and purposeful lyrics set to a cinematically emotive instrumental. Pure magic as always.

10. Building site outside- Piglet

Not going to lie, I was in a very vulnerable emotional state when I listened to this song for the first time, but I think that makes it no less powerful and just, sad. The lyric ‘she smiled at me so much last time’ is just so simple and devastating that you forget this would’ve been on every indie film soundtrack from 2000-2008 if Piglet was an industry plant.

11. I wonder- Shamir

One word: EPIC

12. Crimson Tide- Destroyer

Listened to this every time I came on my period this year.

13. In the Dining Room - Joe Pera talks with you

Adam showed me Joe Pera when I really felt incredibly sad at the very beginning of this year. It’s a show that’s made me feel good, no matter the circumstances. This moment in the show made me smile, and I love hearing Gene come in a bit too early.

14. Stupid Love- Lady Gaga

Shakin my little booty in the kitchen to this x

15. Might bang, might not- Little Simz

Livid we didn’t all get to go to End of the Road and see all the hot dad’s loving Little Simz.

16. Fire- Waxahatchee

A truly insane vocal. I listened to this song on my way to work almost every day from September to December and fantasised singing back up at some kind of outdoor gig in the summer and it made everything significantly less bleak.

17. Hannah Sun- Lomelda

This song is too nice and genuine for me to say anything other than, “really lovely song :)”.

18. Scroll of Sorrow- Machine Girl, guayaba

Listened to this a lot this year while sitting on my kitchen floor staring into an empty oven, wondering if I was ever going to go to a party again.

19. Build a nest- Jeff and Ruby Parker

Have put this on in the flat because the guitar solo reminds me of everything my dad listens to at home. A really great piece of music that kicks off a really exciting album.

20. Kiss me thru the phone- That Kid

Ned said yesterday that he thought it was funny how much the original of this song is so foundational to hyper pop and I agree. Also I’ve started saying ‘Bitch’ like That Kid does every time I stub my toe.

21. Cuckoo- Sam Amidon

I am punting down a creek, looking in the branches that hang over the water for the bird that shall lead me to my next clue.

22. Places/ Plans- Skullcrusher

Used this song to comfort myself in moments where I also just don’t understand why I’m not famous.

23. Sweetjoy- Jam City

Finally….. HAIM for dudes.

24. Clean Living- Slow Weather

I saw someone listening to this on the side of my Spotify so I decided to give it a go and it was a fantastic decision. It’s mental that half of this song is an outro.

25. Summer All Over- Blake Mills

Along with the music video visuals and the dampened piano tone, this wins the competition for least summer-y song with the actual word summer in the title.

26. Ready Cheeky Pretty- CHAI

All of my joy this year has been brought to me by CHAI. I have nothing negative to say about CHAI. If you have anything negative to say about CHAI you’re gonna have to go through me.

27. Diaphanous- Land of Talk

This band was recommended to me by a guy I was trying to flirt with at rough trade east but everything closed before I could impress him by saying ‘I think they’re really cool’.

28. Anything - Adrianne Lenker

Anyone who has ever attempted to write a song with me knows how much I simply love rhyming. Seriously though, every thing rhymes, brilliant stuff. (It’s also such a brilliantly full and constant song that still manages to move and remain exciting from start to finish. I imagine this is partially due to Adrianne Lenker’s almost nursery rhyme- esque structure and also due to her beautifully colloquial approach to family dynamics.)

29. Blow- Dj Gigola, Kev Koko

This song makes me wish I was Jason Bourne- just wanna jump really far while something explodes behind me.

30. Money Can’t Buy- Yaeji, Nappy Nina

‘Well I’ll buy some Yaeji tickets, they’re for NOVEMBER, there’s NO WAY they’re gonna get cancelled’.

31. Only the Truth- Johanna Warren

When I first listened to this song I felt like I was floating in the ocean looking up at the stars as the drums came in on ‘what more can I do’. An incredibly beautiful and careful song.

32. Gasoline- Haim

2020 could probably be summarised with the phrase ‘WHY AM I NO LONGER IN CALIFORNIA? WHY DID I LEAVE CALIFORNIA?’ And this song is the 3 minutes 13 seconds seconds of escapism I needed to not topple into a full spiral.

33. Mapuu - Ic3peak

No one can convince me that Ic3peak are real people. They are a collective made up of child ghosts.

34. Don’t Worry- Bladee

Whenever I have an anxiety attack in the night I wake up and see Bladee’s ghost of the future over my bed, he says ‘Don’t worry’ and mumbles for a bit as I fall back into a peaceful sleep.

35. The biggest tits in history- The magnetic fields

The most relatable magnetic fields song imo.

36. Sand Castle- nijuu

Yujin is a genius and my answer is yes, I do want to just walk for a while.

37. Curl Up- Darren Hayman

Ned reminded me how much I used to love Darren Hayman, and both of them have been a pretty big part of my year.

38. When Will Death Come- Sarah Mary Chadwick

‘Wow, mental voice’ - Ned, while doing the washing up.

39. Dear Dad - Sylvie Wiley

‘But I didn’t cry, you’d be proud’ Sylvie, I’m weeping forever.

40. 34+35- Ariana Grande

Hehehehehehehehehe

41. Garden Song- Phoebe Bridgers

Phoebe Bridgers is a pretty unparalleled lyricist and this song feels like a disconnected series of thoughts that somehow all make sense together and come to create something that doesn’t build, but all just kind of sits? What I’m trying to say is that I don’t really know what she’s talking about but like, I get it.

42. Ringtone (remix) - 100 gecs, Charli xcx, Kero Kero Bonito, Rico Nasty,

I love the way it sounds like everyone got just one take and had to improvise all the lyrics but it still bangs.

43. Changer- Andy Shauf

Thank you lord for another album about a smaller than average man overthinking all of his social interactions with lots of lovely clarinet parts.

44. What’s your pleasure - Jessie Ware

My pleasure jessie? Probably just sitting by the fire with a tough crossword and a glass of merlot x

45. Slime- Shygirl

Shygirl’s series of singles this year made me even more livid that I had to take out my eyebrow piercing for my new job this year.

46. Sears Tower- Salem

Perfect halloween release.

47. Title track- happyness

Ned turned to me and said: ‘so is their new thing that they sound like Elliot Smith’ and I said: ‘and that’s a bad thing?’

48. Cross-sound ferry (walk on ticket) - Hamilton Leithauser

Have found unbelievable joy in chopping veg and shouting GREEEEEEEN PORT, NEEEEEEWWWW YOOORK alone in my kitchen.

49. Lowswimmer- Hailaker

I’ve loved hearing Jemima’s voice when I haven’t got to see her much this year. I normally take the piss out of the Hambledon line but I haven’t seen that this year really either. I guess we find sentimentality in strange places.

50. XS - Rina Sawayama

This song made me feel very decadent on those days where I didn’t wash.

51. Emily- Clem Snide

Let’s be more kind and brave in the face of it all.

52. Building a fire- Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy

P.O.V you’re doing bushcraft in the garden with your husband Bonnie Prince Billy and he’s here to protect you.

53. Asexual Wellbeing- Okay Kaya

This song absolutely bangs but I am truly bewildered by the way they singled out the line ‘if they could put a pulse into a spinach leaf, can they turn the two of us into a tree?’ in the production as if that was a true piece of genius. As I say great tune tho.

54. Anthems- Charli xcx

The soundtrack to couch to 5k

55. Never Better- Kitty Fitz

A SE London queen bringing us huge pop tunes in 2020. So so excited to see what 2021 brings us from Kitty, she’s gonna be a real force!

56. Deep in Love- Bonny Light Horsemen

This is such a delightful song which (mainly due to the time I actually got around to listening to the whole record) for me really rang in the spring. A beautifully recorded testament to the feeling of love getting stronger meaning you have a lot more to lose.

57. Malibu- Kim Petras

My song of the summer, made me feel like I was at the beach when really I was in Lewisham.

58. Like I’m Winning it- Girlpool

I’m so delighted that the turn girlpool have made this year is towards dramatic goth music with breakbeats. Their voices both sound amazing and they look simply incredible.

59. Azad- Frazey Ford

I have no idea what she’s saying as always but I love it.

60. Helio- Charlotte Dos Santos

I’m literally so excited for what Charlotte Dos Santos is gonna put out next. The production is fantastic and her aesthetics are flawless.

61. Lost in the Country- Trace Mountains

‘I checked my email twice as I cried’. Safe to say we’ve all been there this year amirite girlies x

62. Unfold You- Rostam

I hated this at first, I thought, what’s this lo-fi beats to study to shit, but it’s now my classic ‘I’m just gonna pop to the shops, anyone want anything? x’ song. Huge.

63. Oh Yeah- A.G cook

One of 2020s realisations is that me and A.G Cook kind of look like we could be cousins.

64. Can’t cool me down- Car Seat Headrest

I would like to personally thank will Toledo for giving me a tune that got me off my ass when I was too warm to do exercise this summer.

65. Take back the radio- Katy J Paerson

In love with Katy J Pearson’s voice and the way this song builds. Just pretty flawless and feel good in my opinion. I think she’s such an exciting new artist who’s gonna be around for a very very long time.

66. Good Woman- The Staves

‘I’m a good woman’… speak for yourselves.

67. A Little Love- Jack Francis

Feel like I’ve been singing this song for about 5 years! It’s amazing and I’m so excited about what Jack’s going to bring out in 2021, he’s a genius and also the nicest man on the planet.

68. Lullaby No.4 - Snailbeach

This song makes me feel like I’m being hypnotised on a haunted carousel in a very relaxing way.

69. Boyfriend in every city- Roma Radz

Sucks that she can’t see any of her boyfriends cos of covid :(

70. Jaja ding dong- Will Ferrell

Get back in there and play Jaja Ding Dong !!!!

71. Highway- Jonatan leandoer96

Man, would be pretty sick to have 20 boys outside the club but alas the clubs are dead and I’ve only regularly texted about 4 people this year.

72. De nadie- Kali Uchis

Felt v sexy listening to this for the first time in a Morley’s in Honor Oak.

73. Weird Fishes- Lianne La Havas

This album was a pretty triumphant return for Lianna La Havas and me teenage self simply couldn’t be happier.

74. Micro Creature- Aya Gloomy

Love that despite everything about this song telling me otherwise, that the artwork for this single looks like Aya Gloomy is just chilling in the fields by my family home in Hampshire.

75. Si Ella Sale- Bad Bunny

Better get on the duolingo now if I’m gonna know what this guy’s saying at Porto next year.

76. Through my sails- Mountain Man

Truly gentle reimagining of an already incredibly beautiful song, mountain man make every word seem new!

77.Christmas Day (get me outta this funk) - Baggio and Blue 5 Years- Bath days

In joint 77th place are two banging Christmas songs that have soundtracked a pretty bleak Christmas period and have made me feel pretty joyous in their ways, despite one literally being called Blue Five Years.

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