#im only 17 i dont know anything

[too-sxft-for-all-of-it]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEEE!!

dont think ill get a moodboard done tonight, but hopefully tomorrow!!

i have that kind of radiance you only have at 17 <3333

also the boop feature was designed specifically for my birthday thank you

#birthday #yay me! #sxft talks #boop #star wars #obi wan kenobi #17th birthday #im only 17 i dont know anything #i am the dancing queen

[katielovestay13]

that kind of radiance you only have at 17

#taylor swift #taylor nation #meet me at midnight #midnights #taylor swift midnights #midnights release #taylor swift is the music industry #happy birthday taylor #im only 17 i dont know anything

[imidnightrosei]

About Me!

it's like 10pm as i write this but i want tumblr friends, so here's some stuff about me!

°I'm 17 so just please be aware of that if you follow me and if you not comfy wity me being a minor total understandable

°dni if racist/ homphopic , transphobic ,ableist or a zionist 🍉

My Interests!

Games!

Bg3 (ovi)

Life is strange

Fornite

spiderman insomniac (all)

omori

undertale

(there's probably more I cant think of rn)

Music!

Taylor swift

mitski

laufey

phoebe bridgers

the caretaker

mcr

mac demarco

tv girl

Alex g

jack stauber

toby fox

Youtube!

markiplier

penguinz0

Haley wipjack

therm

and other ytbers my those are my mains

if you have any other questions please feel free to use the qna button!

#bg3 shart #looking for friends #looking for moots #music #new to tumblr #im only 17 i dont know anything

[be-good-to-bugs]

im glad i wont have to wait much longer to know how thingd will go but im scared that i might find oyt things will go bad soon

#the bin #i want to know now but i also never wanat know #i think i will be stuck with an anxiety attack untill i know the answer #i could find put today though. apparently the person is coming there today so. possibly. #i cant stop crying everyday about how much i just wanna move home. im tired of living here. i miss my siblings so much. #i got to play a game with 2 of them today. i have barely got to talk to them so it was nice. but i think its made me even more sad. #i cant stand living here. im stuck being miserable. the only people i care about live so far away and i barely get to talk to them at all #i cant ever do anything fun at all. my life feels so empty. im tired of this. i didnt think i could get more isolated but i was very wrong #i just have to wait and hopefully the news is good. maybe it will be. i really dont wanna be stuck here. and i dont wanna have to find #another apartment to live in also. i wanna move home. i hate that i had no choice but to move far away from my family at 17 and then got #stuck in a place where i dont know anyone but 1 person who then ditched me. what the hell.

[allylikethecat]

Matty's mare!!!! I love her, I love the update, it's so good 💚💚

Ahhh thank you so much for not only taking the time to read the new chapter of All the King's Horses but to also send me this ask!! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the update (I'm sorry it was late!!) and that you like Fictional!Matty's mare! I'm so excited about Sally the horse, and I was grinning so much as I wrote about her because Fictional!Matty loves her *so much* which as someone who is *also* absolutely obsessed with their horse, I relate to on a very personal level. Not to be dramatic but Pop (my gelding) is my entire world, literally sometimes I will just start crying because I love him so much and I don't know how I got lucky enough to be his person. My Fictional!Matty feels the same way about Sally (which is also an interesting position for him to be in- he's a professional he's not supposed to get attached to horses like this...) Thank you so much for giving my very niche AU a chance! I hope you continue to enjoy how the story unfolds! I hope your Sunday is going wonderfully and that you have a great rest of the week!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #matty fic #gatty #fanfic #All the King's Horses #Equestrian AU #my only regret / the only thing that makes me sad about Pop is that i didn't meet him til he was 11 #and i didn't buy him til he was 12 #and i feel like i missed out on so many years with him #he's 17 this year which rationally i know isnt very old #and he gets the best care possible and also has basically dropped down to only jumping 2ft6 and under so that he'll last longer #but like if anything happens to him i dont think i'll take it well #all my friends that had horses born the same year as him #lost them in freak accidents the last year #none of which were at my barn thankfully #but it just really freaks me out #anyway fictional!Matty loves sally so much #and im so excited to share more of them #and also things with fictional!george are defrosting 👀 #thank you for reading!!

[joysmileyay]

venting like in among us sory

im aching with loneliness right now does anybody understand. like does grief ever go away? i had a dream of my ex best friend. its been literally like 4 years at this point. i never ever think about her anymore. but i had this stupid fucking dream. and she said she missed me and she wanted to be friends again and she wanted to hug me. and then i woke up. and its just like. wow. will i ever get over this? i dont even know this person anymore. its been years. shes a different person entirely now and so am i and like. like get over it you know? but i cant let go of the fact that like. when i think about the kindness that she showed me for literally the first time in my life up to that point that i had ever experienced something like that... how am i supposed to let go of that? even if i dont know her anymore. it makes me ache it genuinely makes me feel physically weak. is that feeling ever going to go away? can i stop being fine for months at a time and then all of a sudden im grieving again? its been too long like. im 21. how bout u focus on those job applications bro? XDDDDD

#i know this is melodramatic i just want to feel better #so im doing smoething literally anything #i dont even know her anymore you know #im 21 now #last time we were actually friends? im pretty sure i was 17 #i really actually dont know this person #its been too long #i never think about her anymore #but i did today for some reason #it isnt really about her #again i dont know her #im just so lonely #the only friends i have are online #and they are my best friends #but it isnt enough #and i just feel like im going to be lonely forever

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me: well I don't have any counting compulsions

Also me: (anytime I have to count anything) *recounts it at least 3 times because I think I counted it right... probably. but now I'm not sure and I have to check*

#i dont think i considered this might not be normal until just now #this might actually be why physically sitting down to fill out a math sheet is torture to my soul #but i also know math just fine. its just the anxiety about counting things wrong #its worse when theres physical things involved though like when im cooking because im convinced #that im gonna majorly fuck up #idk if this is normal or not but i straight up count to 5. normally and correctly. and then suspevt i was wrong #and have to redo it again and again until i get so frustrated that i have to convince myself whatever it fucks up cant be that bad #i think it would be a big problem if i was counting something important or anything at a higher number though #but thankfully the most important thing i count is cups of rice that go into my rice cooker lol #also still doubting wether i have ocd or not but goddamn. the word 'probably' has single handedly impacted my brain chemistry forever #i think... probably :') #god forbid i be sure of anything ever #lmao oof i just remembered some things. time for a small tags trauma rant i guess #so I remember never being sure of anything ever as a kid. for some reason i was so anxious and unsure #that the only thing i thought i knew to be true for sure was my faith in my religion #lol needless to say... i deconverted at 16-17 #now idk for real man. i was wrong about the only thing i was certain of #not sure how to recover from that #obviously im never going back to that religion. it was so incredibly harmful idk if i could even put it into words #but at the same time... im not sure why i doubt everything #or more accurately im not sure how everyone else DOESN'T #how can they be so self assured? how can they know anything? how are they #how is anyone so sure of something that theyre just at peace with never thinking about it or doubting it or questioning it #ive never had that i dont think

[apathyfairy]

.

#tonight or tomorrow morning actually is the 4 year anniversary of my dog dying and like surprise surprise lol im still not over it like. #i honest to god dont think i ever will. i honestly dont know how people move on and get other pets and just. keep on living like i #understand it like for some people it's part of the healing process but i just could never do it. like i just cant even fathom #i dont know that's not the point. the point is im having such a hard time because everytime i do anything tonight i keep thinking #4 years ago i still had my dog or 4 years ago in 5 hours i didnt know id be going to the vet at 1am and going home without my dog at 5am #and i just keep reliving it no matter how hard i try to not. and on one hand i want it hurt like i want to remember it just to punish myself #i just i just cant move on like it's just. i went 24 years of my life without ever experiencing death and then 4 years ago today my dog dies #in the most tragic possible way ever and then 11 months later my other dog who i had for 17 years since i was 8 dies and yeah still #not over that one either because i never let myself process that or truly grieve her because i had to shut that up real tight #or i would have lost it for real. and i have the most fucked up miserable tragic dreams about her so many nights a week #because she was old and had been u know. like old dogs do they just decline and that was impossibly hard to watch but at least i kind of #knew it was coming u know but like with my other dog. there was just absolutely no warning it was so sudden and it just ripped me apart and #i honest to god will never be okay again and then 6 months after all that i find out my ex died and only because after 6 years i finally #Finally decide to have the guts to talk to him again and apologize and explain and try to be friends and then nope he's dead #then in between all those deaths a super close family friend died and my grandpa my dad's dad died and like it's just #i had never even experienced death before and then all of a sudden i was engulfed in it and i just dont know how to come back from it. #but tonight is just. painful. like i havent even said his name out loud since it happened. i cant talk about him at all just writing this i #want to cry like it just fucking hurts forever. and it should i guess. #and i feel so stupid because so many times i wonder if my cat even remembers them and i wonder if she misses them too and idk #that makes me feel stupid and emotional and im just a wreck but i should be.

[hella1975]

being a fearer of intimacy i have of course spent the past week compiling a mental 'pros and cons' list of dating my coworker, and of course one of the natural cons is the age gap. ill be 20 and he'll be 27 and it's just.... iffy, even if he's really nice. HOWEVER the immediate pro my brain met me with??? 'taylor swift was 20 when she dated jake gyllanhall and if he breaks your heart you'll be in your all too well era'

#catch me heartbroken SCREAMING the lyrics to this song like it already hits too hard and now this? okay #help this is so unhealthy i get asked on one date and immediately im preparing not only for a relationship but also the break up #ALSO hiiii guys so i know you might think you know me super well and we're all besties here and WE ARE but please just dont try #and give me advice about the age gap #like talk to me about ANYTHING else #but last time i posted about this i got a lot of 'SOMEONE THAT OLD SHOULDNT EVEN BE LOOKING AT YOU GRRRR' asks #and it's kinda annoying #like im 19 now but im 20 in literally 3 months (AKA WHEN I SEE HIM NEXT) #and dating around this age is very different to dating when you're a younger teenager #im AWARE and CAUTIOUS of the age gap but it's not inherently off limits the way it would be if i was 17 and he was 24 #so just like. dont try parent me bc i have a mother for that and she's much better at it than you #god bless <3 #hella slaves to capitalism #???????? ruining my grind tag with gross emotions ig

[dyketubbo]

anon bud im not sure what worth you think sending that post about tiffany having a government position to me has. you'd think i would have made it clear enough i don't really support ao3 and that includes not wanting people to pay 10 dollars to be an otw member or whatever. it's already pretty fuckin clear the fearmongering adults who genuinely compare "antis" to christian puritans and racist queerphobic white supremacists have it in the bag on getting people not to vote for tiffany, i think as worthwhile as it is to note that she is in a position of power, it is also worthwhile to note what the post on the matter i already reblogged said about how people will clamor to talk about chinese spies regardless of what job tiffany has and i'm not gonna add to that.

also this is a dream smp blog and i'm trying to make a deltarune inspired au rn leave me be

#i am still reeling over that one person saying antis are racist white supremacists like #um #hello? #right because its not like a lot of us talk about how the proship community heavily encourages racism or anything.. #anyways im not that heavily involved in the voting on ao3 scene leave me out of it #the only ao3 related shit i talk about on this blog is how much i dont like it even #and how much i dont like proshippers because most of them are like. really gross people #i still get close to panicking thinking about that one person who tried downplaying the real ass grooming that happens in the proship scene #esp on ao3 which is probably one of the biggest fucking sites next to tumblr where due to the lack of moderation you can find real ass- #-pedos and minors who dont know any better getting groomed by them under the guise of 'anti censorship' and 'sexual freedom' #etc etc #basically: buddy im not the person to go to for this. go to someone who actually cares about ao3s political scene #i get theres problems with tiffany and all but im fucking 17 running a mcyt blog #also i heard a part of why it was banned was because there was rpf of an idol or whatever #like yeah china has problems with sex related media but maybe dont have fucking rpf on your site ykwim #not pedophilic media but it isnt exactly media that should exist either #anyways im done talking about ao3 now #mask mews #ao3 #discourse

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#sigh #i don't think im ever going to get over losing two close friends... #i can't believe im going through this again.. #Edward if only you were alive and not me.. you would have accomplished so much more than i have in these 17 years since you died #i still can't believe i lost my best friend at 10 years old and now i lost two close close friends again... #so much of me just wants to quit.. i have done nothing to build a future with and i know im not close to anyone #everyone of my friends have closer friends... im just here I'm only living for my parents right now #i can't fathom the pain they'll be in I already attempted before and failed and they have no clue of it that was in 2018... #and now its 2022 an ive lost such great friends again i wish i had the bravery to try again but i can't stop seeing my moms face man fuck #im such a failure of a son of a student and as a friend... i dont deserve to have good things... #I've been stuck like this for years this is all my doing and now im turning 27 and im still not doing anything with my life #i don't think i can take this much longer #i really feel my thoughts getting the better of me and im afraid of what ima do to myself in the future... #whats wrong with me i used to be such a happy cheerful person with always something quirky to say... #and now im just this lonely slob of nothingness that deserve nothing #im wearing myself out with these negative thoughts... i stopped taking my anti depression pills cause i want control of myself not sum pill #i still feel like yall are still here and we can just chill and smoke again #i wish i could be better and do better.. i just want to matter.. i want to feel seen and not forgotten of.. #im just a small note stamp in peoples pages left to be seen peripherally and skipped over i am nothing of use i bring nothing to anyone #i just wish i could die already i wish i could skip to my future death and leave this all behind.. i don't want to die before my parents.. #i can't bear to have my mom cry over me.. i was never good at anything other than being sad and lonely.. whats wrong with me #i just want to be loved to feel seen to feel wanted and not something they can just easily dismiss... i dont care about being a priority #i just want to matter and bring something positive to someone im never a good influence.. im such a horrible person...

[strangeangel22]

i love being transgender i love doing my silly little t shot every week i am so proud of who i am and what ive done to get to where i am now I LOVE BEING TRANS!!!1!!!1!😸😸😸

#sometimes i feel like im a weird percived combination of ‘experienced’ and ‘not experienced’ in being transgender #heavy on percived i know who i am LAMFO #ive been out chronologically and age wise the longest out of everyone i know im pretty sure #i started socially transitioning when i was 12 yk #was fully ‘out’ (specifically in school) by before high school at 14 #and changed my name legally last year and started t this year at 17 #but some people just see that last year as me being properly trans #not even properly trans just like. as if i was only starting my transition now #and i dont think thats very accurate #and sometimes i feel a lil inferior to guys in my life who have been on t and have been ‘undeniably’ trans for longer #(boy if ur reading this ur not included like on god but also unblock me lets be mooties i miss you) #but sometimes i have to just sit back and remember i got this and it doesnt actually matter what they think OR even if i was a ‘baby trans’ #or whatever #ive been trans for like a third of my life. #like half of my cognitive conscious life. #i got this!!! #and even if i didnt thatd be okay too cus we all get there eventually #that is a lot of yapping for me saying i feel embarassed celebrating doing my t shot every week cus im so early and jts not doing anything #but maybe i can have some fun anf joy in life #and maybe being transgender isnt inherently miserable #on a happier end note #me and my friend had our hrt appointments on the same day and started a few days apart #so we r now transition buddies and yap at eachother abt injections vs gel and what ‘changes’ were getting and its really beautiful #its nice to have community #and people who do not see u as a little transgender infant just cus u werent fortunate enough to go on t at an even younger age #than the incredibly fortunate 17 #but hey what doesnt kill you makes you stronger i suppose and i think hrt is gonna feel reslly fucking good after 5 years of waiting #and im so fortunate im in this position and am grateful every day to not only be awesome and transgender but also on hrt!! #yaaayayayayayay!!!!

[why-are-humans-like-this]

why does it even matter what i would have to say about something that has nothing to do with me, that my opinion or actions do nothing to change? why does it matter who i support or dont, if i dont bother with either side at all? why is it the end of the world to you that im staying out of it? why am i "supporting the oppressors" by not talking about it.

what in the actual world would anything i do change? why should i tune in when all it does is make me miserable, and change none of whats happening there at all? why should i stay informed when it doesnt help anyone being hurt?

#i dont need to be condescended to by a 17 year old in LA #the only opinion i have is that people need to not be black and white about it all #saying to nuke a whole country just because of the actions of their government and military is disgusting #obviously fucked up shit is going on and i wish it wasnt! wow! what a shocker! i dont want people to suffer! who knew! #what the hell can i say or do that others cant say or do a million times better than me! #but no. i cant even say anything because i know that anything i say will be misinterpreted to fit the narrative other people have crafted #im not taking sides because it was never about countries or religion or land. its never about that even if thats the paint thats put on #i just wish things would go right. end the violence. for people to be fucking sane #again. wow. what a shocker! what a controversial opinion am i right! #ive put off saying this literally anywhere because like i said. people would misinterpret it so hard and get mad at me for no reason #but i had to say it somewhere and i know no one is going to see this because no one follows this blog (thank fuck) #not to mention the abhorrent antisemitism people are doing because of it. or even the subtle antisemitism #coughs at the 17 year old from LA who thinks theyre soooo woke for being obsessed with this #yeah bud youre so woke for acting just like every school bully i went to middle school with but with a queer coat of paint

[joysmercer]

fabina x disasterous grad party/reunion x betty

#im only 17 i dont know anything!!! #when i passed your house it's like i couldnt breathe??? the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you????????? #i showed up at your party will you have me will you want me will YOU TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF OR #nina doesnt cheat but everything else is perfect slkdfj

[hexados-on-a-string]

please PLEASE dont spam my dms. esp if its abt polls that could cause like fandom drama or something of the sort. there were no rules before when it came to dms and asks but this is the one (1) boundary i am now putting in place. its better for me and its also better for u bc i will start lying to get out of an uncomfortable situation like that and i dont think ppl like it when they get lied to. probably. taking a wild guess here.

dont get me wrong i love dms, i love asks even more, i love talking to people, but god bless i have autism i can only handle masking so much and this is supposed to be a safe space for me, i am terrified of fandom drama, do NOT put me in a situation. thank you.

#the person who i kinda want to see this wont actually bc they dont even follow me #we're not mutuals #im still confused about that whole situation #why they came into my dms asking for me to vote on a poll i will never know. i didn't wanna be rude. #id love to be sent more asks and dms and stuff just dont use me for controversial things thank uuuuuu ♥️ #love everyone who interacts w me tho. genuinely makes my days every time #even if i dont respond #sometimes i cant come up w something to say but i still appreciate it anyways #just like. yeah. this is where im supposed to go to post my silly bakugan things not to be peer pressured 😭 #im also like. terrified of fandoms. i have been in so many fandoms and they have negatively impacted my mental health to insane degrees #ive actually had a few tumblr accounts on here too specifically for bakugan but ive ended up deleting them bc. mental illness innit #not bc anyone's done anything when i had those accounts im just like. scared of ppl. too many ppl and i bolt. #gonna try and stick around this time tho #it is kinda funny how small this fandom is bc i recognise ppl but also i dont. actually. remember my old account names???? whoops #and if i dont remember them then no one else will #i think my old account was like. galaxygambling or something like that. i was like 17 at the time. wild. #now im 21. i can feel my bones withering away as i type. my hair is slowly greying. actually that might just be stress. #when will i stop rambling in the tags? only the goddesses know

[gaystardykeco]

fun wednesday night activity: thinking about all the ppl who left me and how much better their lives are because of doing so

#like damn. i really am a person that only makes ppls lives worse!! #every single person thats stopped being my friend is so so much happier than they ever were being my friend!!! #nobody fucking misses me or thinks of me or regrets anything!!! im a problem and a burden and a causer of harm!!! #i like to imagine ppl that used to talk to me read this blog bc they want to know whats going on in my life and miss me too #but ultimately i know that isnt true like if they follow me they might see a few posts but no one is looking at all of them #i stopped telling ppl what was happening in my life and they stopped caring. bc probably they did not care in the first place tbh #i still follow all these fucking girls from hs on social media and keep track of whats going on in their lives #they havent thought of me in years i guarantee it #and im still sitting here at age 23 thinking about how much better my life would be if i hadnt been so awful at 17 and lost all my friends #anyway sorry for this annoying dramatic post im just like. so tired of not feeling loved no matter what i do and how hard i try #no one will ever care about me the way i care about them and it will never be good for anyone to have me in their life #and im so fucking tired of being this fucking intolerable and awful of a person #i just sit here every day trying to convince myself i dont need to talk to anyone or have friends to survive #but like thats not true lmao i am so lonely i miss talking to ppl so much but everyones moved on #everyone saw what a bad person i am and how much i hurt ppl and cut me off and moved on again #and this is just going to keep happening to me every time i make friends or try to not be alone bc who i am is the problem and i cant fix i #anyway sdlfkjsd sorry i know i sound pathetic and ridiculous jdskf i just need to put thoughts somewhere #and this stupid blog is the only place i have to say anything bc im so completely fucking alone