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#im on survival mode babe
bargaintears · 10 months
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i #dontusetwitter but have been live with someone who did for a long time how do i stop saying ‘slay’ and ‘pu$$y girl’ when it’s being written into my code
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prettyyxprincess · 9 months
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You're so pretty ♡. Congrats on all your achievements too! How are you finding your new job as a new nursing graduate?
thank you babe <3
it still does not feel real sometimes. im so used to being in student mode that even calling myself a nurse can feel foreign. on the flip side, i am learning new things literally every day. im surrounded by intelligent nurses and surgeons who want to help me understand these procedures and take great care of our patients. im really thankful for that.
it’s given me alot of freedom to treat myself with more kindness than i did in school. i was in survival mode in school so it was very hard for me to rest and spend time with loved ones.
since starting my job, ive been on two trips and will be going on another one with my boyfriend in a few weeks. i get monthly facials/massages to give myself me time away from my responsibilities. im taking it day by day and trying to be kind to myself, which is hard for a perfectionist to do 😅
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en-chi-la-da · 1 year
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I'm glad I'm not the only one simping for the Overlord of Ice. Since you did it with Kaz, what are your thoughts on Gundham? Like fav ships, moments etc
my thoughts on gundham? looks at you. looks at my icon. well anon,, :)c read more cause it got kinda long
the MOMENT we are introduced to him in the game, my VERY first thoughts were "omg LOOK AT THIS OREO COOKIE HAIR HAVIN' GOTH ASS CRINGE E-BOY REJECT LOOKIN' ASS GUY LMAO yo wait..... this fools name is gundham?? sick. and this guy has HAMPTERS?? also sick." and then my likeness for him kinda snowballed from there lol i like hearing him talk uwu (there were a few moments during the trials where he says something fuckign silly out of nowhere and i thought to myself "GUNDHAM BABE I LOVE YOU BUT I NEED YOU TO SHUT THE FUCKUP IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED HERE" 😭)
as we progressed through the chapters, it was a lot of me seeing gundham still alive after a kill and going "OH THANK GOD" BUT as we got to chapter four i was getting real nervous for him :( i was thinking "there's no way gundham is gonna survive to the end... he's too cool and funny/likeable as a character plus he hasn't really had an Arc™ happen to his character yet tbh :( oh no :(((" and then sure enough... OH THE MISERYYY 😩
i hate gundham's execution 💔 i love gundham's execution 🖤 i almost cried by the end of it, it's in my top five dr executions list tbh
LMAO as for ships. well anon,, looks in my gundham tag. if you can't tell what my FAVE ships with gundham are by now then i must not be doing a good enough job posting about it 😔 LOL but yeah, obviously i love hajime/gundham and sonia/gundham the MOSTEST along with some variation of gundham/hajime/chiaki/sonia ship square whoa! i also enjoy him with nekomaru and gonta! and not necessarily as SHIPS but i love seeing him with ibuki, peko, chihiro, shuichi+gonta(and kokichi), celeste, sakura, hifumi+kiibo (his dangan S/UTDP events with them are such fuel lmao)
in the end i LOVE!!! this guy!!! love his design, love his voice, he makes me laugh, he's GOTH, he loves animals and his friends even if he denies feeling anything for puny mortals (or even sacrificing his own life to help get them out of a killing game) bc of how EVIL he is as a dark overlord! >:) my favorite moments with gundham are ALL OF THEM (although his final fte/island mode ending are my top fave moments with him hmmmm i wonder why 🤨) and sometimes idk what the FUCK he's talking about but i dont care, this man has ENAMOURED me :) with his SILLYNESS :///) the blorbo of all time!!! sigh <3
but anyways anon, hope this was enough of an explanation for you ✌🏼
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haywirecompass · 2 years
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Oh, no, it must be so hard to get criticism from the people your country fucked over. Let's blame Americans because it conveniently redirects the conversation away from all the other voices. Boo hoo, let's all mourn the death of a parasitic queen whose family still holds a colonial empire. Brits piss poor efforts at protest and your passive acceptance of a corrupt monarchy mean you should be exempt from mean words.
let's walk you through it one by one since you wanna miss the point so bad
1. i saw people blaming the british people for their own oppression. most of these peeps were american and/or demonstrated a lack of understanding of the history of britain and the recent law passed that has forced the general population into apathy and reluctance to protest, as well as the cost of living crisis that is forcing everyone into survival mode and unable to risk being arrested to protest.
2. i, after being on the internet for a long time and seeing our working class accents, food, etc be mocked, seeing our struggles with hot weather be mocked (though y'all were real good about it this summer, props for finally getting off your high horses), seeing our whole country be dismissed and left to rot because of the transphobia here, all of this mostly one by americans who couldn't tell me the first thing about my country, got pretty upset about seeing people blame those who have been ravaged by our government for their situation.
3. i made a rant/vent post about it.
4. some americans very understandably got angry at the accidental implication that they don't know what it's like to be under an oppressive shitty government - misguided anger but understandable. some americans got angry that i dared to insult them and their complacency in their own ignorance about other countries.
like i get it y'all are in the same boat with an awful government that's not the point of my post. my point of "not knowing our country" is that y'all couldn't even tell me the names of our political parties and yet y'all are shitting on our working class. and babes if ur not shitting on our working class then the post isn't for you and you can move on. my post isn't even meant to be a conversation it's just a sad rant after living here my whole life and seeing hopes dashed again and again.
i also really love the idea that i'm sad about the queen? i promise you i hope she rots in hell along with all the other royals and that colonised countries are able to recover from our rule and that we give back everything we took and more to help that recovery.
im allowed to be upset and angry at the way my country's people are being treated by some individuals online and im allowed to direct mean words to them. im allowed to show my emotions on my own blog. im allowed to write posts that are emotional and aren't perfectly crafted to ensure my exact point gets across and will please everyone.
please listen to the voices of the british working class and also please listen to the voices of everyone who has suffered under british colonial rule.
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lovesastateofmind1 · 3 months
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ohhh you're in for it now buddy i cannot believe you had the audacity to send me an ask that special smh WELL
ok so like idk if i can match the eloquence of your lovely comment so im gonna go the other way and just drop a samcomment (i am so obnoxious i just am branding everything im like jason derulo ffs ANYWAY)
honestly like your style is not for the faint of heart which a) glad it's for me and what that says about me *hair flips* and 2) i need everyone to get with the program h2g so like i *know* it's an acquired taste which normally means different strokes for different folks etc etc but i feel like your writing is one of those things i WISH more people acquired the taste for because it's so good?? so exemplary??? the vividness of your prose--even the connective tissue people would stride past normally to get to the good stuff???? but like hello!!!! its all good stuff!!!! mm also the economy of your language, the strength and affective nature of your dialogue, like i am both in the fic and i am watching the fic i am the character i am watching the character i am in the walls i am the walls does this make sense its like whiplash but on a rollercoaster where you signed up for the adrenaline rush and you're like whoa buddy i sure did not anticipate it but i will wait 2 hours even on express lines just to go again.
like i see the vision i see the mission i see the beats the gut wrenchers heart breakers i am with you a hundred percent of the way you're holding my hand im letting you do it i trust you to take care of me even if the punch is a little too real and a little too rough but im with you all the way babe like that's the commitment the pact the contract i signed when i click on your fics and i have to actually really bring my heart up to speed to allow me to survive but it's so good??? and i don't feel like you are yanking my chain i feel like you're putting these characters through the paces and the paces are like hard level mode times 10 but i know you care about them?? and i think that's why i trust your judgment and why i hang onto every word it truly is a ride and even now im thinking of sweet dreams and LtM and i just honest to god am a changed person each time? like i've experienced mitosis?? im a single cell now a double cell im just not the same (im so sorry i butchered science things im an academic for crying out loud)
anyways i feel a little feral but i drank some water and i am back in my body and thats how i feel about your fics. ok thx love u bye ✌🏽
You're way cooler than Jason Derulo anyway, so brand away my friend. Also 🥹🥹🥹 who needs eloquence when you can have a winded ramble instead? I could say so many things about this, but I'm now having trouble finding the words too. Just know that in my head, I am barreling you over with the biggest hug ever. Thank you so much for this lovely comment. I adore you.
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corvidexoskeleton · 4 years
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Screwed up by accidentally taking Danse's flight suit when I was sorting out his inventory. I was hoping I could give him another one and he'd automatically equip it, but fucking apparently not, now I officially can't complete Blind Betrayal bc he's just marinating in his crisis whilst donned in nothing but his underwear
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twiixr4kidz · 3 years
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How about Scott Pilgrim characters (Mainly the league and Scott) playing minecraft with their S/O?
THIS OMG. HERE YOU GO ANON <33 i'm thinking of doing a part two with some more characters, so yall might wanna look out for that!!
Scott Pilgrim:
he considers himself somewhat of a "gaming professional"
that's how he puts it, at least
prefers survival because he likes the concept of it
"babeeeeeeeeeee can i set up the game??" he says, pouting like a 5 year old
he HATES hardcore
he makes a lot of fancy looking houses and will not show you how to make them
"cool right? no im not showing you how to make them. they're my secret, shhhhhhhhhhh"
Matthew Patel:
only plays creative
scared of mobs spawning and killing him
"WOAHHHH IS THAT AN ENDERMAN?? WAIT WHY IS HE COMING AT ME OH GOD AHHHHHHHHH"
insists minecraft must be some kind of horror game
"if this were real life, i'd survive so much better than this. i promise babe. i totally would. haha, totally..."
gives the world's really questionable names
"balls" "orphanage" "i hate pizza hut" "AJJJDIJSOIDJ99999"
believes in herobrine
accidentally causes raids in every single village you come across
Lucas Lee:
"tch, lame."
you're gonna have to beg him to play with you /hj
when you finally do get him to play, he's like a good luck charm
all of a sudden, you're coming across incredibly rare things
you'll point them out, and he just goes "oh shit, really?"
"so... how do you beat it?"
give him 2 hours and he'll figure it out eventually
Todd Ingram:
"a game? where i have to kill animals to survive? i'll pass"
you eventually get him to play with you, promising that you'll give him apples to help him survive
definitely gets hooked on it though
he really likes going into creative mode and exploring stuff with you
wants you to explain every biome, mob, literally everything you come across
absolutely fascinated
you've enticed him
Roxie Richter:
you BET she plays minecraft
she's probably the one to ask you to play with her, tbh
shows off all of her achievements
she's beaten the ender dragon and won't stop flexing it
she has a bunch of creative worlds with some of the most incredible things you've seen
fancy houses, villages, statues, things that looked like they took HOURS to make
and she'll show you how she did EVERYTHING if you really want her too
Kyle Katayanagi:
"oh, i know that game. never played it before though."
he definitely wants to check it out once you explain it to him
excitedly grabs a controller and asks you how to play
he figures it out within 10 minutes
you expected that you'd have to give him a walkthrough
"uh... what's that stuff i got?" you check his inventory and somehow he already has netherite
you stare at him in awe
he will dominate you at the game, whether you want him to or not
kicks ass at survival
and will spawn kill you
laughs at you if you die, and then immediately dies after because his guard dropped
Ken Katayanagi:
just like kyle, he's heard of it, but hasn't checked it out before
he thinks the concept is pretty cool, but he wants to watch you play it before he checks it out
watches you play intently
"oh... so that's what you have to do? can i try?"
king of avoiding getting killed by endermen
he LOVES mining
it's calming to him
his entire inventory is filled with pickaxes tbh
Gideon Graves:
"...isn't that a kids game?"
don't let his dismissive attitude get to you
show him the kinds of stuff you're doing or making and he's fascinated
"oh, i get it now. it's like a little simulation kinda thing..."
"you want me? to play with you? ugh... i suppose i could. but only for a little while."
he proceeds to play with you for over 6 hours, insisting that he was wrong and that his work wasn't important anyways
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hxneylavendxr · 2 years
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im rating hifumi solos now
so sometimes during a hypnosis microphone song the music will start to get weird and then hifumi izanami starts spilling
im rating these moments out of ten... based on... uh...
yeah
alternative rap battle
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solid ★★★★★★★ 7/10
im glad we're starting with a good one. the instrumentals for the solos in this song get pretty distinct and hifumi's is pretty fun- additionally, his part segues into the chorus, dropping the music near the end of his last line which gives it impact but more importantly sounds cool to me so
summit of divisions
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★★★★★★★★ 8/10
the instrumental doesnt change for this one which forces more reliance onto creative vocalization in order to stand out and boy does he do just fucking that
hifumi's part changes the whole feeling which is awesome and also i like his stupid little pun at the end
hoodstar+
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★★★★★★★★★★ 10/10
call me biased but ohh my god- first off, the energy, second, he's just getting super hype about needlessly excessive (yet fancy) drinking. does not even have time for any of that koneko chan business girl we pounding hennessy. love that
division rap battle+
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★★★★★★ 6/10
doesn't stand out too much but that sort of Thank you, thank you he does at the beginning as well as the way he cuts in to jakurai's part before his own is cute
division battle anthem+
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★★★★★★★★★ 9/10
he does the pun again. but this time. it includes his god damned mc name. 12,345,600¥ monthly, bitch.
the music is fun and i love to hear party night- plus, again, the hyping
glory or dust
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★★★★★★★★★★★ 11/10
OOOOOOOUGHHHHH AAAAAAAGH MAN
TWO OF THEM.
that,fucking sleeping beauty ost ass noise when he spins into funny mode
survival of the illest+
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★★★★★★ 6/10 again
this one definetely stands out but it's short and idk wtf he's talking about
(reppin my city my crew my people errday)
hang out!
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★★★★★★★★ 8/10
why are you telling me this hello
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don't pass the mic
★★★★★★★★★ 9/10
this is a really good one
as always, his energy is unbeatable. and there are some god awfully unbearable host lines in here (love), but i can't get over "tacky, ugly men are to be kicked out, gigolos and graceful women only in this jet bath"
battle battle battle
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★★★★★★★ 7/10
YAAASSSS SEEEERVE
the oowuh oowuhs really get me and also the laughing at the end
death respect
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★★★★★ 5/10
...were you even listening to him babe what kind of response is that
in the part before this, rio mason busujima calls him an airhead but that's okay because apparently he wasn't even listening
love that for him
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bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)
my wine's like fruity I love her
light and darkness title card we love to see it
Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3
okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted
okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3
oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care
omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode
gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much
'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-
don't break my dumb little heart
I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up
oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth
'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-
I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it
her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'
when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down
Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3
I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline
damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold
'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme
Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise
the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection
haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you
'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED
'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods
the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well
is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is
okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me
'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide
'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE
Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej
'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show
him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't
could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm
'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper
not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO
'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG
YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY
Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't
INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER
that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show
and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience
throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you
I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow
I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness
Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids
god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them
they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie
STAG VISION TIME
despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene
'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power
okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much
alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own
'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers
the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full
one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it
hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)
I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question
I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk
goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does
Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk
also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?
'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK
maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment
Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment
HER POWER
a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look
okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?
INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE
SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST
okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe
Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly
okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run
oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface
it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)
AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it
Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3
'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait
god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina
kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling
fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me
I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned
maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least
I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got
inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession
'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions
NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)
helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you
Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY
omg hellgate
AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!
Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares
Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded
DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN
gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while
I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them
'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight
am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine
well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do
thank you to whoever actually read these things
I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy
my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse
it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones
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dracjoonie · 4 years
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BTS Reaction | At an Amusement Park with You/SO [Hyung Line]
I actually wrote most of this ages ago, but I’m finally posting it now ^^ 
m/l in my bio~ 
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𝕊𝕖𝕠𝕜𝕛𝕚𝕟
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So much yelling? Somewhere in between having the time of his life and complaining at every turn.  Hella scared of the big looping roller coasters but wants to do them with you anyway. Will scream louder and longer than anyone else. Puts the scared kids to shame. Those vocalists lungs are no joke. People still waiting in line probably whip out their phones to film, not because hes Jin, but because holy SHIt is it FUNNY. “WAHHHhHhhhhHHHHHH oooOOOAHH AHHHH IM TOO PRETTY TO DIIIEEE.” Death grips your hand like a women going through labor. But its ok, might need to buy you an ice pack after though. Also one of those who’s gonna splurge on fast passes because waiting hours in line “”isn't his style””. 
You might need to help him walk after the scrambler because the poor man is DIZZY, but then he’d wanna try all the carnival games. Probably one of those where you get to shoot bbguns at duck targets, or throwing darts at balloons. Passes you his extra large; JUMBO, almost-people-sized bag of kettle corn so he can “show you his skillz.” Probably drops $40 trying to claim this giant lama plush he insists he must acquire to survive. Fails. But if you can’t help him out either, the carny eventually takes pity on him and just hands over the doll. Either way he’s happy and would strap it to his back and go on his marry way. Once it gets dark and you two have exhausted all the good rides and his voice is horse from all the yelling, hes ready to try all the FOOD. Turkey legs, funnel cake, fried oreos,  fried snickers, fried s’mores... fried.. b-butter?..   
...
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𝕐𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕚
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Mostly went for the food and company. Oh, that big rickety roller coaster with the death drops and three loops?  Big nOpe, thinks its cute you think he’d go with you though.
 “What, are you scared?”
“Yep. Sorry I’m sane, have fun though.. I’ll be over here~” 
Happily waits for you at the side lines with his bag of popcorn, and large iced Americano you still aren’t sure where he got. 
“Wow I could hear you screaming from all the way over here.”
“Could not..”
Somewhere down the line you two end up walking past all the carnival games and he starts telling you how rigged each one is. He finds one where you get to shoot targets and he starts telling you about how they’re always rigged to shoot towards the right. You dare him to go for it since he knows the game so well. He’ll end up paying the over priced fee and gets all confident, gesturing for all to step aside. “BEHOLD.” Probably been around Jin too much. -He fails the first time. 
“Damn.. maybe to the left..?” He tries again. Fails, tries again, fails. Now he’s hooked and determined and his hearts been set on this cheesy shark plush for the past $20 so now he’s gotta have it. 
“Hey, can I try?” “Yeah, of course.” 
You hit the target on the first try and his jaw drops.
“WHAT! HOW!?”
“Aim and shoot babe~”
“WELL KEEP GOING!” 
A few minutes later and you’ve racked up enough tickets for his shark.
“Which one was it you wanted?”
“The red one!” He goes all soft and smiley when the carny hands it over. And you wouldn’t have wounded his pride at all, but you might regret suddenly becoming the third wheel to his new BBBFF.. Cheetah... the shark. 
After walking around and trying some weird foods you eventually convince him to go up on the ferris wheel with you.
“But Cheetah can’t go up there~” 
“I’m sure he’ll fit, its a pretty big bench.”
“Cheetah’s a girl..”
“Sorry Cheetah.. LETS GO!” 
He’ll start to hold your hand more in line.
“Are you scared?” 
“Of course not.”
He’s totally scared. And its even more evident when you’re up there and he’s clinging on to you, grinning through his shakes. 
“This is high..”
“Yeah, but its so pretty from up here! Look at the fireworks!”
 “But Cheetah can’t breath up here.”
“I mean there’s no water down there either-”
“Shes a land shark.”
By the 3rd go-around hes gotten use to the height and gets all curled up and cozy while you two joke about “land shark facts”. 
“Today was really nice..” *content nodding*. 
...
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ℍ𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕠𝕜
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Hes excited, he’s loud, hes confident. All those other times he was scared on roller coaster? What do you mean? That was the past, he’s over it. Scared? psh, not him. Not one bit. Nope. Not at all..
Until you’re hand in hand waiting in line for a coaster, watching the passengers wail and the floor-less cart woosh by at a speed he remembers all too well. Suddenly he’s laughing out of nervousness and his hands are sweating, but he can’t chicken out now. He’s already been boasting all day, and the lack of fear on you has him even more locked in. He’d be hyping himself up, loudly. 
“LETS DO THIS!! YEAHH!! THE DROP ISN’T EVEN THAT BAD!!...”
Once he’s locked in his hands would be so sweaty they’d be slipping off the safety harness, and his heart would do flips when he found he could just barely reach your hand to grab onto. Same mile wide grin though, but he’d be very obviously freaking. 
“Are you scared? no?.. oh yeaH of course not this is nothing! HA ha” 
You know when the cart does that slow climb to the top and they hold you up there for a second to build the anticipation? Yeah, he hates that. His anxiety would be reaching new highest, his body going into full fight-or-flight-bro-wtf-are-you-dOing mode. Shrieks the whole way down, and the whole way back up, and down again. It’d actually be impressive because he’d keep that high pitched note up the whole way until the cart slowed to a stop, and then he’d go completely limp. Want’s out. NOw. Hated it. Why did he agree to that, who’s idea was that? I mean “nOO that was... greAT? Yeah that loop was..... dope..? Yep.. soo awesome haha.. lets not go again though..”
If you were excited he’d try and go along with it and mimic your excitement a little. Honestly, I think his adrenaline would have him in-between wanting to puke ,and run around in circles. Probably spend the rest of the day firmly planted on the ground. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t having fun. Once he calmed down a little you two would be running around taking pictures and going through fun rooms and mirror mazes. Maybe those big inflatable slides where they give you a potato sake to sit on so you don’t rug burn your skin off. There he’d have a blast, no more coaster though.
..
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ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕛𝕠𝕠𝕟
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He’s a big sap, but I’ll get to that. Hes a big dorky ball of energy, steamrolling through like a dog who’s barely leash trained. So hold on tight, and be careful he doesn’t lead you into a wall, or a trashcan or something. He’d be too busy looking up at all the rides and food stalls to pay attention to where it is he’s going. So maybe snag a map or two at the ticket entry. 
I feel like if he was hyped up and had his caffeine for the day he’d be a little impulsive. Like, he’d see a cotton candy stall and go ballistic. He’d buy the biggest cone he could and then once he turned around he’d see a ride he just HAD to go on. Of course its a splash ride. And of course there’d magically be no line, but what’s he gonna do with the mountain of cotton candy he just bought? Scarf it down like a starved man, obviously. With your help of course. But then he’d be thirst, good thing there’s a lemonade stall close by. Get’s a large; no food or drink on the ride. Well, there’s only one way to solve that.
 Once you guys were off the ride, drenched and pumped up on adrenaline he’d already be running to find a bathroom. Remember the map I told you to snag? Well you’d better hope its not drenched too. 
But back to him being a sap. This man loves things that are beautiful, and what’s more beautiful than the night sky and the city lights from up above? He would wait until it was dark out and the place was starting to clear out. Because he would have a plAN. 100% is that guy in romcoms who tips the carny to leave the two of you up there at the top of a ferris wheel. And he thinks he’s being real original too, but hes so cute that you forget how predictable it all is once the cart stops. probably says something sappy like “The lights are beautiful, but they’re more beautiful in your eyes.”
If you don’t pinch him, I will~ 
..
46 notes · View notes
parspicle · 5 years
Note
Drabble #Bonus: Error and Ink playing Minecraft together. Survival mode, no Creative available
Word count: 1,681
Ink, in the middle of a fight, grabbed Error by the hood. He dragged the poor glitch into a portal while he struggled and shouted, “What the hell, Ink?!”
“Come on, let’s play Minecraft,” Ink shrugged.
“what.”
“Minecraft! The fight’s getting boring.”
“You can’t just, you can’t just! What?!”
“Plus, Dream, Cross, and Pale are playing and I wanted to play, but you decided to, fuckin’, try to destroy shit. You owe me.”
“I don’t owe you shit!”
“Well, too bad, fuck you! Suffer!”
A couple of minutes later, Error was sitting next to Ink, very unhappily, with a laptop open with Minecraft on the screen.
“Why the hell did I agree to this?”
“It’s better than fighting the one and only love of your life?” 
“It’s worse!”
“Fuck you too!”
Error leaned over and kissed Ink’s cheek. Ink smiled and opened up the game on his own computer. He and Error joined Dream’s server.
Cats_Dont_Glitch joined the game.
AcePainter joined the game.
I got ruru to join X3
if you call me that ever again I’m getting a divorce
were not even married
yet 
ill divorce you from life
error what the fUCK is your name
awww it;s cute!!!
im on board for banning ink if he ever talks like that again :)
what noooo
I am
l e a v i n g
not allowed
Error pressed Escape. Ink caught his hand before he could press Save and Quit to Title. Ink begged, “Come on, please? It’ll be fun! I promise!”
Error stared. Ink stared back. 
Error broke, and sighed, “Fine.”
“Hell yes!”
HE’S STAYING BOIS
hell yes 
.pvp false
fuck
WAIT NO DONT TURN PVP OFF
YOU’RE GONNA KILL ERROR
I WON’T
PVP’S FUN
don’t turn it off I’m begging yku
you
guys don’t bully him he’s gonna leave
it’s off
nOOOOOOO
ha
you would have killed him too
lies
>:(
sorry I’ll stop bullying pale 
no promises for error
Cats_Dont_Glitch tried to swim in lava
paletheskeleton was pushed off a cliff by xX_cr055_Xx
crOSS.
ha.
Ink leaned back from his laptop and looked over at Error’s screen, muttering, “Oh my god,” as he saw it, which was filled with Cross chasing him with a sword.
Error whined, “I’m being bullied.” 
“I… can see that!” 
dream can you slap cross for me he’s bullying Error
CROSS
I’M DOING NO SUCH THING
i’M SITTING NEXT TO ERROR I CAN SEE YOU CHASING HIM
  cross
honey
dear
love of my life
I’m a mod
I can see your messages to him.
what messages
you messaged error
and called him a bitch
did I
I think it was pale
was not
damnit take the hit for me ONCE
u did this to urself
i did not
error’s just a bitch
im leaving
error wait
no
I’m sorry about him 
Error’s cursor hovered over the exit button while Ink continued to beg him to not to leave.
“Please, Error, it’ll be fun! I promise Cross will stop bullying you. There are cats! I’ll help you build a castle with a bunch of cats in it if you stay, okay?”
Error stared at Ink. Ink widened his eyes, got tears to well up, and twisted his mouth into a frown. “Please…?”
Error stared at him. Ink gazed back, lip quivering. Error sighed and went back into the game.
i got guilt tripped into staying
heck yes!!!
i hate you
luv u too bb
Ink leaned over, back to smiling, and kissed Error on the cheek. Error rolled his eyes.
did he do the hewwo voice
that’s a good idea
but no
I just cried at him
hes v convincing
ha nice
“So… what do you do?”
“You sorta just… go around creating things! And, uh, surviving.”
“Surviving?”
oh shit boiz
baby’s nightfall
did you just call me a baby
dream says I have to say “no”
Error scowled.
Cross stop being a bitchass motherfuck
Ink rolled his eyes. “He’s such an asshole sometimes. I’m not sure how Dream is dating both him and Pale.”
Error shrugged, “Maybe he sees stoic, emotionless ‘bitchass motherfucks’, as you so eloquently put it, and goes, ‘oh shit. I gotta fuck that’.”
Ink couldn’t control his laughter. He laughed and laughed, and his head ended up between Error’s chin and shoulder. He smiled and looked up at the love of his life. “You really live up to the nickname of ‘the universe destroying manbaby’.”
“I’m sorry, the nickname of what.”
Ink wove his hand back and forth- “Nothing! Forget I said anything!”
“What? No! The hell is that nickname?!”
Ink shrugged. 
ink just called me a universe destroying manbaby.
cross. Explain.
;) 
no idea what you’re talking about.
you better watch your fucking back
I thought we agreed we weren’t going tell him that
sorry
I slipped up :( 
you weren’t going to tell me??
the hell babe >:(
look can we please just forget this so we can play?? 
I just wanna play minceraft and be gay :(
fine
Error sighed, “I really hate you sometimes.”
“I love you, too!”
After around two hours of Error and Ink making fun of each other, they managed to go out into the world and build a dirt house.
hru two doin
good, i think
can I come see
no
dont be a fuck
y o u dont be a fuck >:( 
k im going over
cross
no!
cross
yes
pale says yes
stop bullying error!!
im not
im bullying ink
wait no 
go back to bullying error
:( 
can we see y o u r house first?
sure.
Ink went over to see where Dream, Cross and Pale had set up their base. What met him was the three, along with their complicated, towering tree house, stuck up in a jungle tree. Birds were on the fences, there were cats on the beds, and flower pots on the tables.
holy shIT 
;)
it was mostly pale!!
and u
awwww that’s v sweet
it’s wrong! But sweet
I don’t think I want you guys to see my house now.
error you might wanna see this
im good
id rather hang out with these cats.
Understandable! Can you tame one and then bring them back??
no 
:(
please?
fine
y’all can like. Go to our house soon if you want :)
Cross ran over, Dream following closely behind. The pair stared at the tiny house the two had made. It was around 4-6 blocks tall, 10 blocks wide, and 10 blocks long. Error’s cats were in the house, along with two basic beds, and nothing else.
you’ve done
only this
in two hours
this is my first time playing minecraft with ink
oh awww
were you two too busy kissing to focus ;)
yes.
nO
ERRORS LYING THE ANSWER IS TEA
tea.
tea
tea
tea.
tea.
Error smiled to himself. Ink freaked out at the sight of Error’s genuine smile and started typing. 
HE’S SMILING
WHAT TAKE A PICTURE
lies
error can’t SMILE
ykw fuck you all
also ink stfu
NEVER YOUR SMILE’S ADORABLE
>:( I don’t sMILE
I bet your smile’s wonderful, error :) 
I DONT SMILE
you do and its cute
I do NOT
accept it
you’re adorable
shtu up
Ink went to type something, and then stopped. He looked over at Error, whose amount of glitches were heightened. He stopped typing. He blinked.
“Hey, you okay?”
Error shook his head.
“Want me to stop?”
Error nodded his head.
“Alright.”
hey were gonna log off for a bit
we’re just gonna walk
ok!! I hope you two have fun with that!!
Cats_Dont_Glitch has left the game.
AcePainter has left the game.
Error took a deep breath. He took in the deep, sparkling stars, calming himself down.
Ink managed to find the words for, “I’m sorry I freaked you out.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. You asked me to stop and I didn’t stop. I know better than that.” 
Error turned to face Ink. He smiled. “It’s fine because you know what you did wrong. And you apologized for it. And I love you.”
61 notes · View notes
hwangskz · 5 years
Text
i'm a coward | valentine's! (han) jisung
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• jisung had been that guy in basketball that u had this Enormous Crush on since,,,, forever
• u even went to aLL of his games just to see him,,,, uwu
• after the game, the team would come to u in the cafeteria
• “y/n!!!! are u here to see me :DD”
• “hyunjin pls”
• they are all kIDS OK
• and ur their mom
• like lEGIT HOW WOULD THEY EVEN SURVIVE WITHOUT A Y/N HHH
• needless to say yall are best friends ok
• but,,,,, u just can’t talk to jisung while looking in his eyes,,,, yk
• iTS JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT MAKES UR CHEEKS LOOK AS RED AS A FIRETRUCK AND THE REST OF TEAM THEN TEASE U SKDBJSNS
• “oH LOOK Y/N’S BURNING AGAIN LET’S GET HER WATER”
• “sTAY WHEREVER U ARE MINHOE ISTG”
• but what u always failed to notice was the blush that grew on jisung’s cheeks when he saw u too
• “oh look jisung there’s y-”
• “i know there’s y/n sitting on the 3rd seat in the first row.”
• “………i was going to say…. that there’s your cap that u had been searching for”
• aka jisung was Exposedt too now
• “jisung it’s literally 14th in a few days just confess man how hard is that”
• “cHANGBIN U HAVE FELIX BUT I WON’T HAVE MY FRIENDSHIP ANYMORE IF SHE REJECTS”
• “makes sense.”
• “HKSBSHSHSHS UR NOT HELPING CHANGBIN”
• but jisung wasn’t the only one being pestered into confessing
• aka u were too
• “hyunjin pls i need to finish this assignment by tomorrow”
• “but tomorrow is valentine’s day!!!! u haVE TO CONFESS TO JISUNG U’VE LIKED HIM SINCE,,,, FOREVER (◕︵◕)”
• “i have liked him since a long time but he hasn’t!!!! he doesn’t even like me!!!!”
• “how can u be so sure about that”
• (O.O)
• (⊙⊙)(⊙⊙)(⊙⊙)
• (°ロ°)
• ((((゜д゜)))
• i would be lying if i said u aren’t malfuctioning because u dEFINITELY ARE
• PANIC MODE : O N
• u COULDN’T SLEEP (*cue insomnia*)PROPERLY BECAUSE OF WHAT HYUNJIN TOLD U
• so u appeared with eye bags next day at school
• “yo y/n did u nOT SLEEP????”
• “…….no…….???”“gO BACK HOME AND SLEEP U NEED TO TAKE CARE OF UR HEALTH” - chan, pushing u towards the doorway
• “BUT YESTERDAY U TOLD ME EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT!!!”
• “I TAKE IT BACK NOW G O”
• after a lot of bickering u finally ended up going to classes anyways so ¯\( ’-’ ) /¯
• i mean ur not complaining cause u got to see jisung !!!! again !!!!
• u didn’t really talk today??? so it kinda confused u
• but tHEN U GET A TEXT
• jisung : yo u look tired did u not sleep r u ok
• y/n : lmao ye im fine i guess
• jisung : …….hey y/n u know what day it is today right
• y/n : …..thursday??
• jisung : nO AS IN CELEBRATION OR WHATEVER
• y/n : valentine’s day?????
• jisung : yea so i don’t think u’ll be shook if u hear this but uh
• jisung : i’m kinda coward in real life so uh
• “y/n! no phones are allowed in class!”
• the entire time in class u just kept thinking what jisung was saying
• damn first jisung was in ur heart and now on ur mind too??? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HHHHHH
• or more like FEELINGS DEVELOPMENT HHHH
• after class got over u went to him
• “yo jisung what were u talking about earlier?”
• “i… don’t know….???”
• “jisung tELL ME”
• “i-i’ll tell u later! bye!”
• that later perhaps never came because he kept sPRINTING AWAY FROM U THE ENTIRE DAY
• H A N J I S U N G JUST CONFESS ISTG
• even when u were with the team he would sprint away and the team???? looked so confused?????
• “GOTTA GO by chungha yas I NEED TO GO TO MR. BYUN” - jisung, as he sprints away from the table
• “isn’t mr. byun on a leave tho..” - felix
• “it could be some other mr. byun tho” - changbin
• “babe our coach mr. byun is the only teacher who’s a male and has the surname byun in this entire school.”
• “makes sense.”
• the team then knew exactly what was going on
• bby was just too Shy ok
• so the team tells u to text him
• y/n : jisung where the fuck are u
• jisung : if i tell u something would u be mad at me
• y/n : jisung last year u broke my piggy bank to buy urself that video game that u never played and i’m still not mad at u so
• jisung : guess i feel confident???? now?????
• jisung : can u…. meet me….. rn…
• y/n : where aRE Ujisung : near our last class
• so u go to that empty hallway
• and ur kinda scared because iTS EMPTY AND DARK AND IT LOOKS LIKE A SCENE FROM A HORROR MOVIE
• “….jisung?”
• suddenly an arm pulls u towards them
• “sung?”
• “…..hi” - jisung, cutely rubbing his nape as he replies
• “so…. what’s up?”
• jisung takes a quick breath before meeting your eyes
• “y-y/N!”
• “yeah?”
• “i- yk what forget it im still a coward”
• he sighed and looked down when u suddenly got an idea
• and u took out ur phone from ur pocket to text him
• y/n : if ur comfortable,,,,, u can say it here yk
• he got the notif and looked at u slyly before typing something and sending it to u
• jisung : ye but pls don’t hate me or smthg D:
• y/n : ok lmao
• he took a deep breath before typing something out rEALLY FAST
• and when he sends it to u
• ur just sjsghsbsbs AAA AA AA A A A A
• jisung : i like u ok
• (☉。☉)
•  did...ur...crush just tell u that he likes u.....
•  YES HELLO 911 IS IT POSSIBLE TO JUMP OFF A ROOF RN BECAUSE OF HAPPINESS BECAUSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• suddenly u look at ur screen again to notice that u have a new message from jisung
• damn was he writing all this time while u were spacing out hhhh
• jisung : HOLDDUP PLS DONT END THE FRIENDSHIP OR WHATEVER AND I DO KNOW IT IS WEIRD TO BE LIKED BY UR FRIEND BUT
• jisung’s fingers were on fire as he typed 
• and u could literally s e e how nervous and worried he looked for ur reply as he typed
• so before he could push the send button once again
• u hold his face and lift it up before nearing him, making u bOTH GO RED A T O N C E
• “calm down jisung, because i like u too....and even if i didn’t i wouldn’t be that stupid to end a friendship as precious as this.”
41 notes · View notes
alippy711 · 6 years
Text
Falling Away With You-Ch.20
Chapter Twenty: New Perspective
I heard the music trickling down from upstairs the second I walked through the door. Her voice had me frozen at the bottom of the stairs while I listened to her belt out the words to that Mariah Carey song she loved. I slipped off my shoes, slowly making my way up the stairs not wanting to attract attention as I loved catching her in moments like this. The bed was empty but I saw her figure from behind as she sat on the floor leaning against the mattress facing so she could look out the windows, just the way she liked.
I stifled a laugh as I watched the bed shake while she danced in place and I closed my eyes picturing the soft smile on her lips and the twinkle in her eyes as she sang out. I moved closer, making sure she couldn’t see me, taking in the workspread out everywhere. Her MacBook was on the floor to her left while a large math book was open on the other side and she had a binder resting on her lap with a few sheets of paper as she wrote her lesson plans. I could stand here all day just watching her work and sing to herself, but it was game day and I needed my nap soon. I quietly backed out of the room heading down the stairs knowing I would scare the living shit out of her if I got her attention in the bedroom.
“Babe, im back!” I called up from the bottom of the stairs taking them two at a time right back into the bedroom.
“Up here!” She yelled turning around, her cheeks flushing red when she saw me. I would never be sick of seeing that.
“Sorry, thought you were still downstairs” She smiled sweetly from her spot and I jumped onto the bed landing next to where she sat propping myself up on my elbows.
“How was morning skate?” She slid the binder off her lap before turning to face me reaching her hand out to run it through my hair as she waited for my answer. I sighed loving the feel of her fingers in my hair. She was the only person who had free reign when it came to touching my hair.
“Good, you coming tonight, yeah?” She flashed a bright smile, nodding excitedly.
“Of course, wouldn’t miss it” Her hand moved from my hair, down the side of my face before taking hold of my chin pulling me close for a kiss. Her lips were soft against mine and I was quickly caught up in the taste of her but she pulled away just as I was ready for more.
“Don’t give me that pouty look, im being productive and not even those lips can distract me.” She ran her thumb across my bottom lip and I quirked a smile, loving when she tried to get feisty. Lucky for her I had other things on my mind and wouldn’t test her control right now.
“I missed you last night”  
“You clearly survived without me” She said with a roll of her eyes.
“But I was soo bored.” I teased turning to lay on my side I heard her chuckle
“You know you have an entire team of friends, right?”
“But I can’t have sex with them”
“Oy Vey” I could hear the eye roll in her answer as I looked up at the ceiling while a silence fell over us, neither wanting to bring him up, both knowing it needed to happen.
“Just ask me David.”
“How’d it go with Evan?” I clenched my jaw, hating the sound of his name, hating thinking about her with him. It stirred an anger inside me that hockey rarely could do. I had never been a jealous guy, until Evan came into the picture.
“Calm down their killer” There was a light teasing in her voice as she reached out running her hand through the stubble on my jaw while I relaxed into her touch.
“Everything went well. I told him we figured everything out and that im with you now.” She smiled and I eyed her, not believing it went that easy.
“That’s it? He just accepted it?” Her hand dropped from my face and she looked down at her lap picking at her nails, a clear sign she was hiding something I nudged her shoulder with my hand and she shrugged.
“I mean for the most part, yeah. He obviously wanted to make sure this is what I want but I think deep down he knew this was how it would end”
“As long as he knows your mine” She frowned at my possessive tone and I shrugged, not really caring.
“Chill with the possessiveness, yeah? I hope you know Evan will still be around. Just because him and I aren’t a thing doesn’t mean I won’t ever see him again.”
“Can you make it that way?” I knew the answer before she spoke. Ash wasn’t one to let a anyone, me especially, telling her who to be friends with.
“No, and it’s not up for discussion. Evan and I are friends and for the most part that won’t change. Im not going out of my way to see him but I also don’t plan on avoiding him. He’s friends with Matt which means im bound to see him. You understand that, right?” She was in full on teacher mode and it was fucking hot.
“I love when you use that teacher voice on me” I smirked wiggling my eyebrows. She shook her head but the blush on her cheeks let me know she wasn’t really annoyed.
“D, do you understand?” I didn’t like the idea but I knew I didn’t have a leg to stand on at this point. At the end of the day I trusted her judgement.
“Yes ma’am.” I said.
“Good”
“Now, do you understand how badly I want you?” I dropped my voice low and watched her take in a deep breath to calm herself.
“I do, but it’s game day so that will have to wait until tonight, sorry love” She patted my cheek and I let out a groan hating this superstition. Last time we had sex on a game day I played like shit and we lost and ever since she refuses to have sex the day of a game. I mean I get it and I love her commitment to the team, but…
“Will you at least take a nap with me?” Her brown eyes lit up and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I will alwaystake a nap with you David, always.” She scrambled off the floor as I moved to the top of the bed to get comfortable.Ash grabbed a blanket and settled in, laying down in front of me wiggling her ass back into me as she got comfortable making me groan.
“Keep it in your pants Pasta” her giggle had me biting my cheek as I fought the urge to yank down her leggings and take her from behind. Instead I draped the blanket over us, wrapped my arm around her waist pulling her tight against me. I buried my nose in her hair, sighing as I breathed in the scent of her shampoo.
“Miluji tě” I whispered in her ear and felt a shiver go down her back as I planted a kiss to the skin just under her ear.
“Love you too, D” Her hand covered mine giving it a little squeeze as she curled into me even more signaling her need for me to pull her even tighter against me a request I would always follow. Being with her made me feel whole again and I couldn’t believe it took me so long to realize im in love with her.
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02/21/2021: Promotions, Old Friends, and Yellow School Buses
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February 21st, 2021
somehow i received a promotion at work last Friday even though i am literally probably one of the LEAST motivated people teaching at that school... fuck. so... now, instead of just being a regular-schmegular teacher, i am now the '6th grade head social studies teacher' which means that i have to run planning meetings for the social studies team, attend morning meetings discussing whole-grade growth and failings, and solutions for how we're going to get the kids to... not suck. uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!! and this is for the rest of the year and the next!!!!
apparently, i am the 'perfect person' for this position because all of my classes have consistently performed better than the rest... but between you, me, and the entire internet, that speaks more to the abilities of my students than my own personal abilities as a teacher. i don't believe i'm a sucky teacher or anything but the fact remains that between work, grad school, delusional lovesick-related episodes, mental illness, and other varying distractions, i am not Doing The Best I Can. in fact, i'm literally in survival mode 95% of the time. the other 5% of the time, i'm in manic-as-fuck mode. so... do i really DESERVE this promotion? who even fucking knows? i like to believe, however, that i'll eventually figure out how to bullshit this new responsibility as well and no one will be the wiser. i mean, if this promotion came with a financial boost as well, i'd be more inclined to not fuck it up but, like... i'm doing more work for the same weak ass pay... i'm not as motivated with kind words and encouragement than i would be with a solid boost to my pay grade. anyway... whatever.
i was on tumblr the other day (i am fasting from all social media sites during the day for Lent but tumblr doesn't count because i literally just reblog five or six posts into the void, look at sad literature quotes, and log out just to do it all over again the next day... i am not addicted to tumblr as i am to twitter, instagram, pinterest, and linkedin... yes, linkedin. my quest to escape my job has led me down a very weird and addictive path) and i came across this post by user beetlejuices:
"isn't it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?"
and it is. i think so. i really do.
one of the things i've been conscious of in my early adulthood is that i am still chasing after the friendships i had in middle school. i wrote about this two Lents ago too. there is a memory that i remember so vividly in middle school and it reminds me constantly about how i felt so loved and appreciated and like the world couldn't go on without me if i somehow left or disappeared or went away. i think about it all the time. that is how freeing and loving and whole it is. just a simple memory of being three hours late to school (after a huge, blown out argument between parents who should've divorced years ago) and being startled by a flood of texts that starting pouring in at 7 that morning.
ashley: YOOOO where r u? they snagged all the donuts from the corner store!
alysha: you missed the bus this morning?
ashley: i bought donuts off eman 4 u... say im the best :D
kiera: U MISSED CRYSTAL'S FAT HEAD ASS SLIP DOWN THE STEPS LMAOOO
kiera: u're always here early u good?
alysha: are you coming 2 school today?
ashley: are u ok?
Christyl: don't forget we have a test in math!! where are you?
kiera: babe?
ashley: are you ok? why is ur phone off?
alysha: i just talked to ashley are u ok?
Christyl: where r u?
kiera: i just talked to ashley r u ok?
kiera: none of ur sisters r here either... u ok?
ashley: i'll call again @ lunch
alysha: pls be safe
Christyl: i'll tell the teacher you're sick and maybe you can take it tomorrow
Christyl: are you ok?
and even more messages that were sent during and inbetween classes... i thought it was a bit too late (and too time consuming) to respond to them all individually so after being signed into school three hours late, i decided to wait for all my friends at our table in the cafeteria to surprise them before explaining my mess of a morning. i was nervous because i thought they would be mad at me for some reason. but as soon as they saw me, ashley, alysha, kiera, and christyl, they came barreling towards me screaming my name. it was an entire scene. people looking at them crazy and then raising their eyebrows at me, not seeing what the big deal was. i probably looked the same exact way that i did the day before. unspectacular, bookish, awkward. they couldn't see what the big deal was. it embarrassed me but it thrilled me at the same time.
they nearly knocked me to the floor pushing each other to get to me first trying to steal the first hug. in the end, i stretched my arms out as far as i could and they all fell into them. we probably looked a mess. a tangle of brown legs, arms, frizzy hair, loose braids, and scuffed dress shoes. i remember feeling so loved and wanted. i felt bigger and grander than i was. i had stopped the world for five entire minutes and i didn't do anything. i was just existing.
i don't really talk to any of the girls anymore. i follow them on social media and i wish them happy birthday every year and we're all on each other's close friends list on insta... so i still know a few, if not all, of their secrets... but we'll probably never be as close as we were in middle school. and that's ok. i still love them as much as i did when they tackled me in the lunch room that day. i still root and cheer for them like we still spend every night after school on the phone for hours talking shit and planning presidential campaigns and gossiping about boys. i will never forget that day in the lunchroom. ever. and, like i said, it has only occurred to me now, as a young adult, that i've been chasing that kind of friendship and sisterhood since it happened.
i like to treat all my friendships as mini-romances. i remember a tweet that said, "friendships ARE romance," and i agree. i think i'm in love with all of my close friends, if not all of my friends. it's embarrassing (just a bit) but i have probably fallen in love with all of my friends at least once or twice. this is especially true for my group of college friends (at this point, they are really family). i have been in love, at least once, with all eight of them throughout our four years. i don't actually find this embarrassing like i said earlier. what's embarrassing is that this information might embarrass other people which, in turn, would thoroughly embarrass me. but the fact itself doesn't embarrass me. that is how i am. i fall in love and out of love at breakneck speeds. i think it's important to be a little bit in love with your friends.
i really enjoyed being in undergrad and planning literal dates between all eight or nine of us. and we would call it that. "what are we doing for our date next weekend?" "so who's going on the date tomorrow?" "are we cancelling the date or does the weather not matter?" (the weather always mattered.) my favorite college date was valentine's day senior year. we all went to korean-style karaoke and ordered so much food and drink we could barely stand to sing. we were all sat around the tv singing horribly to mariah carey or beyonce or rapping to nicki minaj verses. we took so many bad pictures and tone deaf videos and we kept leaning or hugging or holding each other's hands. that's another thing i love about my college family. most of us are touchy-feely people. i am a touchy-feely person. i'm southern and my mom is ridiculously gooey so one of my love languages, inevitably, is touch. i, usually, reign it in A LOT unless i have a partner but in college, i somehow discovered a whole group of people who loved to kiss each other on the cheek and hold hands and lean on other people, and lock arms. i felt at home. really.
maybe it's not only about old friends, though. maybe it's about feeling at home.
there was another post on tumblr and i think about it a lot. it's a screenshot of a tweet from twitter user @HumbleCore.
"HUGE NEWS: finally found my best friend from middle school on FB. We've both been looking for each other for over a decade. I told her I think about her whenever I play any boardgame or drive by a church. She told me she uses my name as her password at work. A perfect reunion."
when i read that the other night, i cried. i don't know why. it was heavy and ridiculous and i was worried my roommates would hear me. i don't know why i cried. at all. and even typing it out like that made me want to cry again. the feeling is not as strong or as overwhelming as it was the first time but it's still there.
i think about a best friend i had in first grade. even before i thought of ashley as my best friend (i have known Middle School Ashley since the first grade. i thought we were destined to be best friends forever and ever and ever, which is what i wrote in her middle school yearbook). his name was Malik. or Malique. my memory fails me. but anyway, i loved him like crazy. we didn't do anything without the other. we shared lunch together, we HAD to be partners on every field trip, i cried when Ms. Sanchez moved my seat from his in an effort to stop us from disrupting her lessons and i hated her for an entire week. (a very long time from a first-grade perspective.) even now, i think about him whenever i go to petting zoos or farms and when i ride on yellow school buses with my students.
Malik/Malique was my first kiss. we were hiding from Ms. Sanchez and the other chaperones so we could pet the goats one last time. while we were hiding behind a barn, he kissed me. "for good luck," he said. and then we sprinted across the farm to get back to the goats. and we pet them again before Ms. Sanchez found us and ordered us back on the big yellow school bus where we held hands for the entire hour-long ride back to school.
it's very silly to think now but in high school when i was trying to determine whether i loved my first boyfriend or not i remember thinking, "well, does he make me feel like Malik/Malique?" it's silly but sweet. at fourteen, still comparing the way he made me feel behind a barn at 5 years old to how another boy, years and years later, made me feel. it is silly but i think it's sweet.
i don't actually have any interest in finding Malik/Malique or knowing for certain what he does or how he's doing because i seriously doubt i had such an impact on his life, but i hope he's well and alive and happy because that's what i always naturally hope for when i pass petting zoos or farms or see bright yellow school buses.
so, yes. i think everything, us, our relationships, the entire world, is about old friends. all of it. every last bit of it.
i have a whole-grade data analysis, 300 pages of reading, and two mini-papers for classes to finish before tonight so i'm going to get going... i just wanted to write about old friends first.
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World War III
1. I said "there's a remote" at least 10 times because I'm not a control freak but I'm also not trusting either. So i know i put an alternative to a satellite on land and I know I put a remote in case who we trusted didn't use the missle.
Now she remembers how i told her to turn the MISSLE on and off because i expected people to trust me and allow me to speak and not tell me im too stupid to not create a remote for a missle on NORTH KOREA when i lived in NEW MEXICO, USA.
Im not gonna say how. But there was also clue words this week to help her remember. But okay
2. So instead of saving the world, the world learned How to save itself. And that's better.
Our last war. And the whole world joined in. We are now completing WWIII. The best war ever!!!! That we finally are winning. The First World War that every country joined to fight and protect the world. 🌎 it was a real world war not a prissy fit over having the most money or the kings and queens (gods and goddesses) in the world.
3. The remote. I gave to the one person in the world that i knew for a fact that would kill her clone sister. No description no nothing. An active missle and it would be done 100%
4. The remote had no labels. I requested that it just look like an old hearing aid type device which i was told it was but was really a listening device we had in the cup above our sofa in NYC. But i didn't live with my parents and I didn't speak to my Uncle unless it was about is son or something wrong with the living conditions. I got my parents and neighborhood involved. I knew the consequences. So i never spoke about my days or nights and what i done in secret except on walks wirh our mouths covered or turn around and point at something random or look at the ground with our hair covering our faces, we coded/hid everything my friends and i did and even said.
4. She tested the first button then called North Korea to see what happened. The satellite had a little door which was unimportant. But it would indicate the sare was off. She was trying to figure out the turn on code which would been simple enough in a frustrated move.
5. As it was North Korea was invaded by Trump. 20 minutes into her struggle. So Kim Jong-Un unplugged it as per his instructions.
6. She understood the invasion but we needed the missle more than ever. So she tried to get him to turn it on. He refused because the satellite door closed. So they thought it was Broke. No. Its a dam on and off switch. Look its on!! look its off! SIMPLE look out the window!!
7. He wouldn't turn on the missle which would then turn on both the missle and satellite by default. SIMPLE.
8. She couldn't figure out the remote! They said it didn't exist! And no one would tell me what was going on. And the remote wouldn't plug in a missle launcher!! Im fucking sorry world!! 🌎
9. She had no instructions and no labels. She was to tell Kimmy she was experimenting. So he could tell her how to label it if she felt it was safe. With a number system only she remembered. But he wouldn't answer the phone because he got a new phone number for the missle room. She didn't know -- it just rang and rang. By the time she figured it was safe enough to interrupt the missle Trump invaded and Kimmy went to the bunker!!
10. She just tonight hit the button that notifies him what is happening to the machine which she hadn't had a chance to do before he unplugged it.
11. Everyone thought the priority was to fix the unbroken satellite. While holding hostage the Trump invader.
12. I can protect Ethan with falling planes that I wreck into with a Chinook i use my palms to propel on the dash board. I can run a war from a bedroom with nothing but my heart and soul and heal millions of dead. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOCK DOWN A MISSLE LAUNCHER INTO REMOTE MODE to go out for tea OR TELL IF A SATELLITE IS NOT BROKE. that is what i was told multiple times. And not by North Korea. My own fucking team that has studied every fucking thing I've done and seen i make Plans A - D just to walk myself to the bathroom. And assures me in the midst of a war that i am being throughly researched so we win. "Go get 'em champ!"
13. So last night i found William still working on the fucking satellite who said the piece was being made and it was 10 fucking days. For an on and off switch that was cosmetic and the actual switch was 1 foot inside the satellite in a bullet proof box that could never break. And hes begging to doubt anyone was actually making it.
14. This is bullsjit i said. Its not even fucking broken. I'm having a fit. Look at this fucking shit and i magnet in 18 satellites. "Get what you want" scream at one guy inside an old 1980s one i called Direct TV because it had a 2 way camera on it. So I use part of his to make a bullet shooter because this shit... Was on my last nerve. And i shoot EVERY GODDAM thing i can't see.
15. People from other people were calling the International Space Station asking "does she have a problem today?"
16. Yes And every galaxy was losing their evil. Cause Fuck i needed help so did they.
17. William finally finished not fixing the satellite and I propped open the button to turn it into a two seater. And we went to find out who i killed in the International Space Station. 45. So the 2/3 unhappy due to 10% were happy we found.
18. Truth or Consequences would take 5 and a half minutes to complete. Now it takes 6 and a half seconds. William sped it up. And set it to the core.
19. My GPS range is only 105 miles. Now 102.
World War III is almost over. It will be over -- should be -- by the time that the last time zone enters 2020.
Its been Hell.
We can all see that while us world leaders and I the smartest and bravest of any galaxy can still be overtaken by one troll.
Which is why we must always remember to work together.
My plans had no flaws. It was prepared for absolutely everything.
20. Even air war. The planes were all bullet proof and battle proof except the Pilot Windows. I designed the eQ2 fleet. Convinced her that they would open the windows like WWII planes for fun and should. Because nothing in the world would be better so don't waste money on extra bullet proofing. We gained one jelly filled body, only lost one good one arm and one jelly filled body (due to water and Tree healing) and millions of evil and clones. And I also used those planes to protect Ethan as they crashed and William protected Logan's twin today as i was busy.
21. I also designed the Chinook since 1998 in 2008 i made upgrades.
World War Three was a success for Planet Earth, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus, Jupiter, San Frensesno, and Pluto plus many more including Mars and Venus.
And it was only fought on Earth all others remained Peaceful.
And each planet saw how to protect their planet so now in the future they can be as protected as us. I asked them not to intervene as i don't know their planets. Except in dire emergency. They didn't. So we did a fucking good job.
22. Pluto we designed War assistance together so we knew them. Since 1994 they have been here to protect us. That is why it became uncategorized as a planet.
So Happy New Year. I'm sorry NYC I missed it once again. It's only 10 pm here
Im down to 98 miles.
What have I said?
Our plan of defense and protection failed.
We continued to defend as we were attacked and successfully protected.
...
We failed at working together. So we got more people to help us. And when that was scary, we called Pluto and gave them the honor they deserve. And they loved it.
So ask for help.
"Hey babe help me with the dishes" and talk about your day you'll probably end up in giggles if you talk about me.
"Hey babe. Finish reading that paperwork I was sent on missiles will you" and you may just end up saving the world.
"Hey doofus, remind me every once in a while that you died in 1998. That would help me a whole lot to figure shit out on my own and beat amnesia because i been beat in the head too much" and you may Just never know to fucking say that!!! So don't let your soulmate trick you into saying something stupid!
So ask for help when you know you need it.
The world knew how much they wanted to help. Did y'all know how much we needed it? In the end... We really didn't. But the world needed to help. And we needed to help them. Us.
My Twin Brother doesn't drive 362 mph on training days because we like to take the slow lane.
We wanted every one to be happy and safe as fast as possible.
That was a downfall as soon as Gary Trump found out how to regrow the penis I shot off in 1984 on purpose, cause he is a pervert. He thought he could finish taking over the world with his greed.
And what happened class?
He began to. And we dominated him. We would gotten to the satellite and we would still fought the way we had even if he was still alive. But the healing and damage would been much greater.
We could have handled it easy. We had mild shit. Y'all if I25 had air war which did until I announced no GPS or lights and the neighborhood commander retreated and admitted defeat and announced surreandered.
I could had had the planes fall to protect y'all. And still had time for Wichita Texas with brothers Ethan, Logan and Ezekiel.
I pulled William and Matt out for their sakes. They needed a break, anyway. It wasn't punishment it was to protect them as they were targets. Sure its easy to heal but come on. Why for when your mom and dad are here for the first time in thirty years? Don't go to work. It's safer and healthier on Earth... Or was supposed to be for William.
Yet a bad thing worked fine in the end.
Because we all began caring in ways we hadn't before or in a long time.
For the first time Mr McNabb lost a child. Before he never had the loss his children did when he was taken in as a hostage then human trafficking victim. So he finally learned the sadness his children felt all their lives when thinking about their parents. The craziness he thought he saw was actually beauty of the mind and heart working together not to just survive but help others as well and to help them heal. And now he sees his sons not only as fierce fearless warriors but also as healers that are gentle and kind. And he can recognize the sadness and fear he kept hidden all these years. And finally let it go.
Tonight if you have Pluto with you. I am on the west mesa near the Belen airport.
Up here your loved one will stay the longest.
If you are evil. Your last moments can be spent here and may be finally for once your greedy heart can begin to grow. Much like the Grinch and you have a chance to save your soul
I am the only Jesus you will ever know.
I am at 70 miles range now. At 1050 pm
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stareyecat · 7 years
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dont do that babe youll gain more weight cuz ur body goes into survival mode
im not like....completely starving myself im just forcing myself to wait until certain times to eat instead of just eating whenever i become hungry
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