#im fine just tired and in pain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

namistrella · 1 month

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hi this blog is indefinitely inactive

only making this post to pin at the top of the blog since most of my fics still link here

to manage expectations. I may (I hope!!) post to ao3 from time to time in future but thats about it. will try to answer dms/discord still but the response time will be slow

#im fine just tired and in pain #thought a lot about whether or not to even pin anything but its looking like im in this ride for the long haul so #heres hoping im wrong!!#personal #no need to reply this is literally just so I can pin something without having to edit my profile and mess up my html links

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3-aem · 1 month

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thinking about my exit interview that was super informal but at one point i was like okay i will say something positive about the team and my ex manager was like okay

and then we both sat there in silence for a solid minute

#me:…theyre nice people!#my ex manager with suspicious eyes:#delete later #i wanted to try out my buildings laundry machines today #bc i was tired of using the portable one in my apartment #its big and clunky and breaks my tap everytime i do laundry #and i dont have a dryer so massive pain #but it cost me $5.5 and so i will continue doing it in my apartment ❤️#tbf it wasnt even really an interview i just had to return my shit and was like hey do u wanna hear the tea and gossip #and he was like pulling out a notebook like yea #and then i went off for an hour #hes not a retaliatory dude so it was fine if anything im sure he just took the notes and then went off to figure out solutions or whatever #now i feel like i snitched #i didnt say names but he just kept figuring it out #i was like ppl dont like how ppl drop documentation in code reviews #and he was like is this about gordon and his use effect document #and i was like……………..*speechless*#and then i was like some ppl thing the environment has gotten a tad competitive #and he was like is that from henry #*SPEECHLESS*

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natjennie · 3 months

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sorry i havent been very active lately I've been having a real shit couple days idk why

#ive been like right on the verge of a breakdown all day today #and i can feel it coming. the tears are IN my eyes.#it's just. everything is so hard.#it can't be this hard all the time for everyone right?#because if it is and everyone is just being normal and doing fine and coping and being an adult about it #then that makes me a failure.#and i dont know what im supposed to do with that.#its also so fucking hard to see something you might want for yourself #and be inundated with the weight of all the barriers #and all the ways that you'll never get there #all the reasons it wont work. everything just feels so difficult #like EVERYTHING everything everything is minimum 10 steps and it never fucking ends #idk why im feeling so bad like ive been taking my medicine ive been trying really hard to eat and drink and take them #like no matter what i do im always in pain and tired and sad and frustrated #and it never fucking stops #anyway sorry #venting #vent post

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

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palms-upturned · 4 months

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.

#meg talks #abt to head back into work #the start of a long fucking week #last time i tried to go back to work i literally collapsed on the ground from how tired and sick i was #if anything it feels like im just getting worse now #my nerve pain is so bad #and my coughing fits make me see spots #at least i don’t have fever anymore and the congestion isn’t as bad #i can breathe okay #but god. im scared that this will be my new baseline #which will mean that i can’t work here anymore…#and it’s just too early to tell. it could take weeks to get my full strength back and i might be fine #but that’s weeks of wondering #and trying to muscle through #which could be making things worse. fuck if i know #i want to quit so bad but at the same time i don’t want to. i don’t want to be muscled out #it just sucks so bad.#and they let this happen to fucking ten out of fifteen of us all at the same time #they really don’t give a shit about our lives #they can always just replace us with cheaper labor.

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reifukuro · 2 years

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the day when Shoto learnt that Deku doesn’t follow his promises when 💥💥

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loverboybreakdowns · 21 days

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& now im crying. great.

#came home she got out pork chops says i have to cook & eat them bc i need protein #dont want hot food rn & even if i did i dont have the energy to cook dont even have the energy to get a glass of water #but like i was handling it was gonna lay down a while then make pork chops feed them to the cat if i couldnt make myself eat & thats fine.#but then she said i was being a little shit bc of like i guess my tone of voice ir something?#idk man im tired & im frustrated & im in pain & im trying so hard to be polite & say the right things #but like. no matter how hard i try i cant get it right my voice always comes off wrong #& it always has & it will continue to the rest of my life #i try SO HARD she knows i struggle with tone & i still cant get it right & shes mad at me for it #i cant fucking do this i cant be a person im not GOOD AT IT.#im like failing at humanness and i always have been #& idk its a stupid thing to get so upset over & i know logically im being dramatic #but im just so tired #& i havent eaten since 7 so i probs have low blood sugar or something idk #and i’ve had a headache for 3 days that wont fucking go away #& i just cant make myself be rational rn #rambling

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wastelandhell · 1 year

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deranged rambling

#i typed out another post but it became a massive text wall that i probably shouldnt post #but tl;dr im severley depressed. i have been my whole life but it started getting bad again in november #and this last month has been the hardest month of my fucking life #im so sleep deprived that i cant think clearly i cant eat im in constant pain #my thoughts arent even coherent my brain feels like its being twisted around #i cant do my job anymore i stopped booking clients #so thats how my lifes been going #dont worry about me ill be fine i always pull through im just tired #im going to talk to my brother tomorrow. my relationship with him is strained but hes all i have and i know he can help me.#i dont know why im posting this. ive been drinking.#also sorry for how cold ive been lately #and how ive been ignoring all my messages/asks/replies/tags for the last few months #i do like hearing from people i just. literally cannot respond

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subsequentibis · 6 months

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have felt very much today like a thing with human skin stretched over it trying so hard to at least resemble a person. you ever forget how to smile? i've been doing what feels like a grimace of agony all day but either i got it right or everyone was too polite to point it out

#ignore me #extra funny bc im not even like. sad or more tired than usual or even that much in pain?#typical shark week stuff i took ibuprofen im fine #i just feel extra disconnected from my body and fake today

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theraven1648 · 3 months

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I wish I never existed. It'd be so much easier, so much better if I didn't ever exist. Nobody would have ever had to know me, be hurt by me, annoyed by me, bothered by me, burdened by me. I wouldn't want to die anymore because I would have never lived. It could be over. If my parents had just not had me as their daughter, if they had another daughter, a real daughter, a better daughter. I wouldn't feel the pain anymore, I would feel anything. That's what I want, I don't want to be aware or feeling. I want to be genuinely and literally nothing.