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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years

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While You Sleep

Chapter 8

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: fluff, mentions of violence Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

(a/n: i promise i have other writings in the work outside this fic kdsfjlajdf i maybe have part 2 of ‘Around Your Neck’ coming up............)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You spent the rest of your night trying to redial Bucky’s number. Every single time you just got his voicemail, eventually filling it to the max with pleas for him to call you back. You apologized countless times through texts, begging him to not feel bad and to let you two sit down and discuss it.

But he had really gone radio silence.

The only real beacon of hope for you was that you could still feel him. You still felt that attachment, the connection of soulmates. He hadn’t totally pushed you out, at least. That was all you could see as far as positives.

As you went to bed that night, the darkness of the situation was still encompassing you. Even the world seemed to be upset with it as the second you laid your head down, it began storming.

You fell asleep to sounds of rain hitting the windows and thunder booming across the city. The nightmares engulfed you once more with no signs of your Bucky making appearances this time. Instead, the feelings of dread ran through your body. Bone, skin, blood, and all. It was like an old friend coming to visit.

The images were nearly the same as well as the asset was back using his knives and terrorizing unsuspecting victims. You couldn’t fight but why would you? You felt lost and defeated as you were engrossed in the metaphorical trenches of the life and missions of the Winter Soldier.

***

You had only been asleep for a few hours when your phone started ringing. Slightly thankful the sound pulled you awake before you had to see another man slaughtered, you jumped up from your bed, diving for the phone.

The screen shone brightly in the dark of night. It was him. You nearly cried out as you hit ‘accept.’

“Bucky?”

“Can you let me in?” His voice was slowly getting drowned out by the rain. You frowned, confused.

Heading to your front door, you popped your head out, looking down the stairs at the building’s entrance. Bucky was staring at the ground outside. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to let me in.” He finally looked up, meeting your eyes through the glassdoor. It was not exactly a pretty sight. He looked tormented standing there damp from the rain. You couldn’t speak, just nodded and hung up. Without much care for your current state, draped in an oversized t-shirt and sleeping shorts, you ran down the stairs.

Once you unlocked the door, Bucky entered the lobby without so much of a glance at you. Wordlessly, you walked back up the stairs to your apartment, letting Bucky follow.

You introduced him to your apartment, showing him the couch where he could take a seat. This certainly was not how you expected his first time in your home would be but you didn’t have much time to mourn it.

You opted to stay standing, watching as Bucky shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't look at you yet but you could feel the anger radiating from him. You didn’t know what to do now.

“D-Do y-you want any water or something?”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m sorry I hung up on you.”

Sighing, you said, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I know, I know,” He insisted, sounding so defeated. He leaned back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating. “It’s just… After yesterday morning, I thought I understood what you…you had seen but I didn’t want to accept it, okay? I didn’t want to think it was true. I wanted to believe that my fucking soulmate was learning the better things about me. Actual things about me, not...not that goddamn monster they created.”

A familiar ache came over you hearing his words. This must’ve been really a lot for him if he finally said the word. You didn’t even have time to celebrate it.

You couldn’t help yourself as you crossed the living room and took a seat next to him on the couch like something was actually pulling you to him. He was still staring at the ceiling while you turned towards him, fingers uncontrollably fiddling in nervousness.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” you admitted. “At first they were everything in my life, inescapable. The nightmares-,”

Bucky cut you off with a scoff. “Nightmares.”

You frowned. “I’m sorry, I know that’s unfair to you for me to describe them like that but they weren’t exactly pleasant,” you said. “The nightmares were everywhere and...and the feelings, the images… Even just tonight they-,”

His head whipped towards you. “You still have them?”

“Bucky, you need to let me speak.” He nodded and you tried to collect yourself before continuing, “Everything, from the emotions to the images of those terrifying things, hit me hard, and while, yes, it’s scary and it’s been scary for a very, very long time… I don’t think it should completely matter. I can’t change them - you certainly can’t change them - and they definitely do not represent the man sitting next to me in any way, shape, or form.”

Bucky's hard expression got softer at your reassurance. You had told him this yesterday morning but you felt now you were actually getting somewhere. You were getting your thoughts out there and maybe, just maybe, he’d accept them as facts.

His tone was rough but his words were soft as he began to speak again. “I told you that while you’re with me you won’t ever be hurt or have to worry.” You nodded, remembering the promise in passing. “So it kills me that I can’t fix this. I-I didn’t know about all that, really, and it’s hard realizing you’ve had to deal with consequences from my actions. You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve anything like this.”

You tried to muster up a small smile, trying to assure Bucky you were okay. He didn’t look convinced, though.

“It’s not ideal, no,” you shrugged, “but it’s leading me to you, so, maybe there’s something in it. I think Fate knows what it’s doing, at least most of the time.”

A little smile just barely formed on Bucky’s lips. It wasn’t much but at least he didn’t look like he was ready to punch a wall in your already run-down apartment.

“Besides, it’s not all bad,” you continued, wanting to at least bring something positive to this conservation. Bucky raised his brows, curiously. “I did have a nice dream that night after dinner. I saw you reading.”

He looked almost relieved. “I guess all we can do is hope those continue.” A beat. “I’m amazed you even allowed me in your apartment.”

Your jaw went slack, unsure of where this statement was coming from. “Well of course I do. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

Bucky turned away and that rough look of his came back. Your attempts to lighten everything were taking a nosedive apparently, but you couldn’t ask him to avoid or suppress his feelings. You guessed it was better to get these things out in the open.

Bucky eventually asked, “How can you just be okay with everything?”

This time, you looked away, turning to look out the window opposite of you two. The rain was still coming down steadily. “You haven’t really given me a reason to not be okay with everything.”

Your words were bold, the conversation was bold, and to keep with the theme, you boldly grabbed his hand to hold. You ran your thumb over the back of it in circular motions, trying to calm him. He didn’t pull away, thankfully.

“I’m sorry,�� he mumbled. “I-I get nervous about all this.”

You chuckled softly, “Me too.”

Bucky hummed, contently. He leaned in a bit closer to you and gave your hand a squeeze. You shifted into his side, wrapping your other hand around his arm, accepting the closeness of you two.

You decided to break the comfortable silence, trying your magic once again to carry a brighter conversation. “Why didn’t you tell Steve about us?”

Unexpectedly, Bucky chuckled lowly at the question. Your interest peaked greatly.

“Forgive me if I just want to explore all this new territory with you and only you.”

“New territory?”

You didn’t have to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes. “You just want me to say it again.”

You let out a fake, dramatic gasp. “James, you’re ridiculous.”

You heard him chuckle. His body shifted slightly closer to you. “I want to explore this… this soulmate thing with you. Only you. At least for now. Down the line, I have no problem showing you off but for now… It’s us.”

Soulmate. Us.

The words rang happily in your ears. Now it really felt real. Him acknowledging it truly, wholeheartedly, and not just in the heat of an argument made shivers run through your body.

“Us,” you repeated, a goofy grin unable to be suppressed came about on your lips. “I’m okay with that.” You let out a bit of a dreamy sigh. “You know, this all feels really new and really old at the same time.”

Bucky chuckled, “I think that’s how these things work, right?” His other hand came to lay on top of yours gently. “We feel like we’ve known each other for years because, well, I think in some twisted way we kind of have.”

You contemplated the idea, realizing you felt that very deeply. You had and had not known him for almost your whole life. While Bucky wasn’t in the exact form you learned about him in, there was something within him, the actual him, you felt you knew like the back of your hand.

“We need to go out again,” you finally said, worried continuing with such sentiments would make you emotional for the millionth time tonight. Bucky seemed to welcome this change.

“Are you asking me out on a second date, sweetheart?”

Butterflies filled your stomach. “Well, you weren’t making any move to do it,” you shrugged, shooting Bucky a playful look. He responded with a dramatic eye roll.

“Maybe I like a woman who takes charge,” he said, shooting you an award-winning, knowing smirk.

You gasped, your neck suddenly getting hot. Actually, you felt much of yourself getting warm from the little innuendo hidden within his tone. Words were suddenly getting lost on your tongue as your brain short-circuited. You mumbled, “A second date could definitely be fun.”

Bucky let out a room-filling laugh at your sudden nervousness. The twinkle in his eyes told you he would enjoy making these little teasing comments to you from now on.

“How about tomorrow night, doll? Good night for a second date, don’t you think? Assuming you actually want to see me after tonight’s fiasco.”

You nodded, ignoring his self-deprecation. You couldn’t talk it out of him so actions maybe had to speak louder. “What should we do?”

Bucky waved a hand in dismissal. “You let me handle it. I’ll surprise you.”

“I thought you liked it when a woman took charge?” Now your smirk was just as evil and mischievous. Bucky raised his brows in surprise but rolled with it. He had quite the silver tongue you found.

“Sure do,” he said, “but a man still has to make sure he takes care of his lady, too.”

You giggled and cozied up into his side, very much enjoying the sound of that. “Fine. Take the reins, Bucky.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #the winter soldier #marvel fanfiction #marvel #mcu #mcu fic #angst #fluff #bucky fic #soulmate au #writing*#avengers

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7team7 · 4 years

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Choosing Fate: Chapter 9

A delicate balance. // Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

A/N: hi sorry I keep forgetting to update here lol, I should also add my snippets that I put on twitter ahh

“Don’t do anything Itachi wouldn’t,” Fugaku warned Sasuke before heading out. The small party walked slowly off into the distance and Sasuke squinted when he realized they were taking a route that would surely delay their journey. Perhaps that particular path was longer and more roundabout, but flatter and easier on Izumi’s swollen feet. He shut the door when he couldn’t make out any of their features beyond the signature dark hair.

“They have a son, that means we’re off the hook for a while, right?” Sakura joked weakly from behind him. The clan had already become obsessed with young Ishida, clamoring all over each other to hold him.

He purposely ignored thinking about producing another heir. He turned away from the door and lightly placed a hand on her shoulder, “You did well,” he praised. “You should rest now.” As much as everyone cooed over the baby, they weren’t willing to actually do the heavy lifting like Sakura. Izumi’s body was, naturally, still recovering and she needed all the substantial help she could get.

Sakura chuckled lightly to hide her shyness, “I’m not the one who had the baby, but thanks. And how are you feeling about it?” This new development seemed to push Itachi onto an even higher pedestal in Fugaku’s eyes even if the sex of the baby was completely random.

Sasuke shrugged, “I’m an uncle now.” He didn’t want to think about it much beyond that.

They settled into separate routines: Sakura resumed her regular training with Tsunade and Sasuke picked up his father’s work wherever he could. Because of the extra work, he couldn’t walk her to her destination anymore. It was strange how little they saw of each other. It felt like every time Sasuke put one thing down, Sakura picked another one up and he was getting restless. He expected to appreciate the peace and quiet, but he was feeling a little ignored. He was lonely. He looked for hints of pink and green everywhere, and grew frustrated when they were nowhere to be found.

“Going out?” he’d ask her after she prepared breakfast and packed a lunch for him. He didn’t even ask her to, but she always did it and always included his favorites. Having the house to themselves meant they didn’t have to compete with everyone else’s food preferences, and even then, she added extra spice to his food and never offered him sweets because she knew he’d always turn them down. These small acts of intimacy were strange to him.

“Yes, don’t worry about it,” she’d answer pleasantly in that sweet voice of hers. But something in the tone of her voice was reassuring, as if she assumed he wanted to make sure she’d be out of his hair when in fact, it was the opposite. Would it kill her to stay home and rest one day? No, it wouldn’t, just like he knew no patients would die without her flitting over to her mentor’s home for the day. But he wasn’t sure how to say all that, so he stewed in his own bitterness. He watched her back as she walked out the front door, taking note of how long her hair had become.

All the extra time alone made him question his own daily activities. Why did he follow in his father’s footsteps again? As he braved the more-chaotic-than-ever marketplace on his own again, he couldn’t come up with an answer. The face reflected back at him from his family’s shiny knives seemed to laugh at him. He looked like an Uchiha, but lately, he wasn’t feeling like one.

Sakura didn’t seem to have this problem.

Their routines were suddenly disrupted and they both were forced to stay indoors when a storm threatened to dump water and lightning all over the village. Sakura peered out the window at the heavy gray clouds rolling in, “It’s not even worth trying today if I get caught in the rain.” She didn’t know it, but Tsunade was curled up on the couch with a cup of sake, already expecting Sakura to stay home.

He had plans to sell some things at the market, but surely this weather would drive all the customers away. It seemed that he had to stay put too. Sakura proudly declared she was going to catch up on some reading, so he took the time to look over their financial documents to make sure all was in order. Maybe Father was just getting old, but he thought he noticed some discrepancies last time he glanced at them.

Sasuke didn’t realize how long he’d been sitting in one position until a clap of thunder and lightning stirred him. He was sitting on one side of the table and looked up at Sakura, expecting her to still be turning pages in her book.

Instead, she was draped across the book, totally asleep. In the fading light, her hair became a dusky rose and it spilled across the table like a pile of petals. He tsked to himself, what a silly woman. How could that be comfortable?

He stood up, readying himself to wash up before bed. But he hardly took one step out of the kitchen area before looking back at his wife.

Her neck would become sore. And she would become cold. What was he going to do, leave her there all night?

He sighed. His decision was made. Gently, as not to wake her up, he slid his hands under her body and scooped her up to carry her to the actual bed. She was light, but he stiffened briefly when he felt her nestle into his chest. He held her a little tighter, a little closer. She was warm, too. He wouldn’t say he breathed in her scent, but he couldn’t help but notice the way she smelled of fragrant jasmine tea when he was this close.

She didn’t stir again until he had finally, delicately, placed her on their bed.

“Wha’s going on?” she mumbled, still half asleep.

“I’m taking you to bed,” he said quietly.

She turned over onto her side and Sasuke draped the covers over her body, bringing them all the way up to her chin. She settled deeper into the mattress and before knocking out again, sighed, “Ah, that’s nice, darling.”

Sasuke was wide awake all night, acutely aware of the warm body slumbering next to him.

Something snapped two days later.

He was watching from their bed as she tidied up some of her hair ornaments on the dresser. Her hands were dainty, but he knew they had become a bit rough lately. Her head was bowed and she couldn’t see him, but he was staring very intently.

Why was the curve of his wife’s neck so alluring? When did he start noticing these things? It was just skin, just a body part. But no matter how hard he tried convincing himself that her anatomy didn’t affect him, his mouth still became dry and his heart still beat a little faster.

When she started changing her clothes in front of him, he had to speak up.

“What are you doing?” he asked, more surprised than anything, but his words came out with a harsh edge.

“Uh, changing? I’d like to get into my sleep clothes so I can go to bed soon.” It was incredibly sweet of Sasuke to bring her to bed the other night (something she couldn’t help but blush over), but she woke up feeling a bit yucky that she was wearing her normal clothes in bed.

“Next time give me a warning,” he grumbled, turning away to stare at a random spot on the wall.

Sakura walked over and put a hand on his broad shoulder, but he jerked at her sudden touch. She frowned down at him, “Why are you so jumpy?” She really only meant to talk to him.

“It’s too quiet in here,” he grumbled.

She pulled back as if she’d been burned, “Sorry, maybe we can get a chaperone again.”

“There’s no need to be dramatic.”

“Oh please,” she snorted, “try taking your own advice.” For at least a week he had been leaving the house with a dramatic flourish of his cloak.

“Don’t be difficult.”

She laughed without humor, “Really, Sasuke? I think you’re the difficult one.”

His eyes narrowed, “What makes you say that?” For someone who often babbled when nervous, she sounded quite sure of herself.

She smiled to herself and it filled his chest with an unnamed emotion. “I think you miss me,” she said haughtily.

“And just why the hell would you think that?” he growled, standing up and walking closer to her, invading her space as if he scared her anymore.

She continued even as she got backed up against a wall, “You like spending time with me. You like it when we’re together. So you get grumpy when we’re apart and it’s easier to blame me for being somewhere else than to accept that you miss your wife.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really? Well, then how could I? You barely ever talk to me!”

“There’s no need.” He thought their communication had been fairly decent, to be honest. What was there to talk about?

“You’re sullen and closed off.”

“And you’re annoying,” he seethed before swiftly leaning down to pin her against the wall and kiss her harshly. She made a small noise of surprise, but didn’t struggle. His eyes were screwed shut, and hers first widened in surprise, then fluttered closed. She would have evaporated if he looked at her with that intense stare she had come to know so well.

She wasn’t very annoying to him when he was kissing her, she thought hazily. Rather, when they were kissing, he was very attentive. Despite his earlier stormy aura, he pulled back so his kiss wasn’t so bruising and his hand carded tenderly through her hair.

“Sasuke-kun,” she whispered against his lips.

A shiver wracked his body. She had never called him that before. He licked his lips and pulled away to look into her seaglass eyes. “What is it, my wife?”

She looped her arms around his neck and scratched lightly at his scalp, “I just want you to talk to me.” She felt his shoulders relax even more. Hm, who would’ve thought to use her womanly charms to get her husband to open up?

“About?”

“Anything, everything. You and me, maybe.”

He contemplated this and sighed. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Like what?”

His brow creased deeply before he rendered her breathless with another kiss. “Like this. You’re the one who moved here. My life was supposed to stay the same. But no, you’ve come in and changed it all.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” She never wanted to intrude, but if he stayed in the same place for his entire life, Sakura had a feeling Sasuke would be deeply unhappy.

“No,” he breathed deeply, “it’s not. It’s just hard to get used to.” He used to think he always knew what to do, there was always someone to show him his path, but now he wasn’t so sure.

“I just want us to be comfortable with each other.”

He pressed himself impossibly closer to her and smirked, “You’re feeling pretty comfortable right now.”

She gasped hotly, “Excuse me, I didn’t realize I married a pervert.”

“I’m just telling you what’s on my mind, I thought that’s what you wanted,” he said before capturing her lips again in a searing kiss.

She pushed him away for a moment and became serious, “Ask me. Just ask me what I want.”

He studied her face carefully before nodding. “Okay, okay. I will.”

And then before wrapping her arms around him again to resume the kiss, she whispered, “Thank you.”

A/N: Aliss chose the baby name so thank her :* also when writing the Argument scene I kept laughing thinking about those memes that are like ooh I know you wanna kiss me so bad!!

#sasusaku #my writing #sasusaku fan fiction #fan fic #arranged marriage au

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